Going The Distance

en
00:00:06 For us to push back from the gate...
00:00:08 ...make sure seatbelts are fastened...
00:00:10 ...tray tables in their locked position,
00:00:14 We'd like to thank you all for flying with us.
00:01:10 Flight 82 to San
00:01:14 Flight 63
00:01:36 If you'd like to make a call...
00:02:08 - So...
00:02:11 - Happy birthday.
00:02:14 Thank you...
00:02:16 ...for the takeout.
00:02:17 Sure.
00:02:18 It's the least I could do.
00:02:21 - Heh. So?
00:02:25 But Dan's home
00:02:27 Oh. Are we done in here?
00:02:30 Yeah, well, we finished eating.
00:02:35 What?
00:02:37 I just thought
00:02:40 ...for you to give me my gift.
00:02:45 Oh, shit.
00:02:48 Amy, I didn't get you anything.
00:02:51 You told me that you didn't want me
00:02:55 What's happening? Oh, God.
00:02:57 - Are you crying?
00:03:00 I have missed something here, baby.
00:03:03 Garrett,
00:03:06 ...so you want to get me something
00:03:09 ...because I'm the girlfriend
00:03:11 What? Okay, you know what, let's go.
00:03:15 It is not about the goddamn gift.
00:03:17 It just was about the gift.
00:03:21 It's bigger than this.
00:03:25 I've invested so much in this relationship
00:03:30 I don't even know if you're into this.
00:03:34 - Sure.
00:03:37 Ah, Amy, come on.
00:03:38 - Don't even think about calling me again.
00:03:42 I should not call you
00:03:45 Okay, so it means what it means. Good.
00:03:57 - Ow! Oh, my God. Mother bitch.
00:04:00 Thanks, Brandy.
00:04:09 Did he use the red pen with you guys?
00:04:11 No.
00:04:16 - Well, it's impressive reporting.
00:04:18 However,
00:04:21 And a spellcheck wouldn't hurt.
00:04:23 "MunincibaI" courthouse?
00:04:27 Thank you, ladies.
00:04:36 - Where are you going?
00:04:39 - I'm going to get wasted.
00:04:42 Let's go.
00:04:44 I'd love a copilot. Look at this shit.
00:04:46 Oh, my God, he bled on it.
00:04:52 I still can't believe
00:04:54 - Of course she did, dumb-ass.
00:04:57 It's not the gift.
00:04:59 - Don't think it's the gift.
00:05:00 How does everyone except me
00:05:03 - Oh. Dude, are you kidding me?
00:05:06 I get it, all right?
00:05:09 You get upset, you go to your room,
00:05:12 ...you light a candle
00:05:15 ...go to that deep emotionaI place
00:05:22 - Is that really how you cry?
00:05:24 Are you going through that?
00:05:26 - Uh, I didn't cry. I've never cried like that.
00:05:30 I've only really cried over a girI
00:05:33 I don't know.
00:05:36 Because I didn't cry, it means I'm not-
00:05:40 And we were good together.
00:05:43 - I don't know what happened.
00:05:45 - This happens every time.
00:05:46 You get in a relationship
00:05:49 You never have,
00:05:51 The girI figures that out and she splits.
00:05:53 And then we have to sit here
00:05:57 - Over and over again. This happens a lot.
00:06:00 It's not true. It happens occasionally.
00:06:02 There's a definite pattern.
00:06:04 - Definite pattern.
00:06:05 Fuck you, fuck you.
00:06:08 - A lot of self-righteousness going on.
00:06:11 I'm not crying, just gonna clear my head.
00:06:13 Clear your head, cry, same thing.
00:06:15 You know what I'm talking about
00:06:18 Like that low, like:
00:06:23 I don't know. If you ask me, that looks
00:06:27 - That does not-
00:06:28 If I wasn't making any noise...
00:06:30 ...and you saw me like this,
00:06:33 Looks like you're trying to suck your dick.
00:06:36 When I suck my dick, I lie on my back,
00:06:42 - You suck your own dick?
00:06:44 You cut your hair
00:06:46 You're like a Swiss army knife.
00:06:58 Hey, we should circulate.
00:07:01 You're being lame.
00:07:02 What would you rather I do?
00:07:04 Get date-raped by a frat guy
00:07:07 No, thank you.
00:07:09 You are just jealous.
00:07:10 - More for you, baby.
00:07:13 Go have fun being in The Accused.
00:07:16 Hey.
00:07:17 I like your shirt.
00:07:21 You smell good.
00:07:22 - It's Axe.
00:07:34 You might as well remove that quarter.
00:07:42 Listen-
00:07:44 - Oh, my God.
00:07:45 - Who does that?
00:07:46 - What the fuck are you doing?
00:07:49 Who leans in like that?
00:07:53 There's no way you got that close to ERL.
00:07:56 You know how long
00:07:59 I mean, what a dick move.
00:08:02 Wait, what?
00:08:04 What the f-?
00:08:06 What? Hold on. Hold on. You're ERL?
00:08:10 I'm a what?
00:08:11 I've been chasing ERL for months now.
00:08:14 I thought ERL was an "EarI," you know.
00:08:18 Erin Rankin Langford.
00:08:21 I'm honored, okay. I am honored.
00:08:24 Shit, what a dick. I leaned in.
00:08:27 I owe you a beer.
00:08:29 Look, I'm sitting right over there,
00:08:32 I'd feeI like shit if you don't have a beer
00:08:38 All right.
00:08:39 - I feeI like you're not listening to me.
00:08:42 I'm trying to figure this out.
00:08:46 I think they're on their first date. Tall.
00:08:48 Yes, I see them. They're tall.
00:08:51 - I bet the blond played college sports.
00:08:54 There are no baby pigeons in the city.
00:08:57 You guys, uh, I want you to meet Erin.
00:08:59 Uh, Erin, these are my friends.
00:09:02 Hi. How are you?
00:09:04 - Hey.
00:09:05 I screwed up Erin's Centipede game
00:09:08 Fucker put his face
00:09:11 - What? Who does that?
00:09:12 - Exactly.
00:09:15 Check, one.
00:09:16 Okay, everyone, people.
00:09:18 It is time for tonight's round
00:09:25 So you know the rules.
00:09:28 No fighting, no g-
00:09:31 Oh! Shit!
00:09:35 Well, then don't put your face on it.
00:09:37 I do not have health care, Terry.
00:09:40 Hey, listen, these two get really moody
00:09:44 - ... so do you wanna team up?
00:09:46 Just don't drag me down, okay?
00:09:50 What country has the driest inhabited area
00:09:54 Is it A, Syria-?
00:09:56 Egypt.
00:09:57 Okay, let me read all the choices
00:10:01 Egypt, the answer's Egypt.
00:10:03 Nice. Oh, my God.
00:10:05 What album holds the record
00:10:09 Dark Side of the Moon.
00:10:10 - Terry, they keep interrupting me.
00:10:14 Seven hundred and 41 weeks,
00:10:16 You suck at everything else.
00:10:19 Yeah, well, I better not suck at that.
00:10:22 I work at DieseI Records. It's a labeI.
00:10:25 - Oh, yeah?
00:10:27 The word "records"
00:10:29 What do you do for work?
00:10:30 I work at The New York Sentinel
00:10:32 - Oh, yeah?
00:10:34 How many different ways
00:10:37 Ah! A dollar, if ripped, has no value.
00:10:41 Disqualified.
00:10:42 Great, nine weeks in a row.
00:10:44 - You got a little wing sauce, like- Um-
00:10:47 Kind of in this generaI area.
00:10:50 The Rolling Stones took their name
00:10:52 Muddy Waters!
00:11:02 Oh, yeah.
00:11:03 Oh, wow.
00:11:06 Jesus, Snoop.
00:11:08 So you a big fan of Tom Cruise?
00:11:11 Uh, in my defense, I'm a big Top Gun fan.
00:11:14 - Oh, really?
00:11:17 In fact, I like all homoerotic,
00:11:24 - Too much? Did I lose you?
00:11:26 Is Top Gun like your favorite movie?
00:11:29 - It's up there. What's wrong with that?
00:11:31 - It's the greatest.
00:11:33 Wait, what's your favorite movie?
00:11:35 Actually, I'm gonna be really serious
00:11:38 - Okay, hold on.
00:11:42 I really wanna tell you
00:11:44 Oh, God. Please don't say, like,
00:11:48 Don't be like a closet Nazi
00:11:52 ...because this is going great.
00:11:55 It's Shawshank.
00:12:01 I hope I make it across the border.
00:12:04 I hope to see my friend
00:12:07 I hope the Pacific is as blue
00:12:10 - Ha-ha-ha.
00:12:13 - Zihuatanejo.
00:12:16 The best.
00:12:26 Watching every motion
00:12:31 - Where's that coming from?
00:12:33 - How in the fuck is Top Gun music playing?
00:12:35 Hey, Garrett.
00:12:38 I forgot to tell you
00:12:40 You guys live together?
00:12:42 - Uh, yeah.
00:12:44 Hello in there.
00:12:45 - Heh.
00:12:47 Dan, what are you doing?
00:12:49 Watching every motion
00:12:53 What was our rule?
00:12:54 Because I can hear through the wall
00:12:58 Right,
00:13:01 Participating.
00:13:03 Look, man, I just thought maybe,
00:13:07 So is this, like, what you guys do
00:13:11 - He DJs your hookup?
00:13:13 Is that what this fucking frat house
00:13:16 No, no. Listen, I'm really sorry.
00:13:18 - I'm gonna go.
00:13:21 Yeah? Explain.
00:13:23 You know what? I can't. I really have
00:13:26 That's okay, because, you know what?
00:13:29 I didn't want you to think I was slutty.
00:13:31 - I don't care.
00:13:33 - Think it's kind of awesome.
00:13:35 - In fact, Dan, take me to Berlin.
00:13:38 Take my breath away
00:13:48 Take my breath away
00:14:16 Hey. Morning.
00:14:18 Good morning.
00:14:21 Um, if you're taking off, could you at least
00:14:25 Oh. I wasn't, um, trying to sneak out.
00:14:29 No. You're just putting your clothes on
00:14:32 ...and tiptoeing across the floor.
00:14:36 - Yeah.
00:14:39 I can stay.
00:14:49 - I didn't mean you had to-
00:14:51 That didn't feeI good.
00:14:53 Hey, hey.
00:14:57 Food would be good.
00:14:59 Okay.
00:15:01 Now I've had the time of my life
00:15:07 No, I've never felt
00:15:09 - Dan.
00:15:22 I had a great time last night.
00:15:24 I gotta say, that was- It's a lot of fun.
00:15:28 Me too.
00:15:30 So I should get your number.
00:15:32 You know, we'd maybe hang out again?
00:15:35 - Okay.
00:15:38 - Here, I got it.
00:15:41 - Um, there's a caveat that...
00:15:44 ...I'd really... Um...
00:15:48 I'm leaving in six weeks.
00:15:51 And when I said that I work
00:15:55 ...I meant that I'm a summer intern.
00:15:57 And I'm actually going back to Stanford
00:16:02 And although I'd be psyched
00:16:06 ...um, please know that
00:16:12 Oh, wait. Uh, no, me-?
00:16:16 - Oh. Really, when?
00:16:20 Um...
00:16:23 I'm not gonna tell you
00:16:26 ...but I'm not gonna say
00:16:30 - Okay, good.
00:16:32 Well, then we know
00:16:35 Um, the added bonus is that I now know
00:16:39 Yeah. I guess I- It seems like I am.
00:16:43 Here's my phone number.
00:16:45 That's awesome.
00:16:47 Best posture in the office, Allison.
00:16:50 There he is.
00:16:51 - How you doing?
00:16:52 Hey, I got a question for you, man.
00:16:54 How does someone like you end up getting
00:16:58 How is that possible? I mean, from all of us
00:17:02 ...I encourage you
00:17:05 - Really? How about this?
00:17:06 How about, "Good morning, Garrett"?
00:17:08 - Morning, Garrett.
00:17:11 Um, my flight from Miami got in at 5 a. m.
00:17:15 You would never know.
00:17:17 Oh, thank you. Heh.
00:17:19 How's, uh...?
00:17:21 - Mark-
00:17:23 - is great.
00:17:24 Uh, seeing him once every six weeks
00:17:28 - Yeah.
00:17:31 - Yeah.
00:17:32 - All right. Well, wake up.
00:17:34 - She's still with that guy?
00:17:37 - You kidding me? But he lives in Miami.
00:17:40 Wait- No- Yeah, hold on.
00:17:41 I don't think you understand
00:17:44 I wanna put things of mine
00:17:47 I know you do. I know.
00:17:52 I heart you crazy mad
00:17:54 Until it feels so good
00:17:55 I'm about to do something drastic
00:17:59 - What is this?
00:18:00 I heart you crazy mad
00:18:04 I'm genuinely getting nauseous.
00:18:06 I'm going out of my head
00:18:08 Are they singing
00:18:11 Yeah, they are. Sadly, they are.
00:18:15 Jesus. 3Z? Heh.
00:18:17 Now comes the fun part...
00:18:18 ...because I get to look at your face
00:18:22 - Ah, there it is.
00:18:24 I know. I know it sucks.
00:18:26 The higher-ups wanna sign these guys.
00:18:30 Come on. Don't do this to me.
00:18:32 What about all the bands
00:18:34 Demos you never listen to?
00:18:37 - That's not our focus right now.
00:18:39 Hey. You know who I had to scout
00:18:42 Nelson and Jesus Jones. All right?
00:18:46 You know one song. I know like 100.
00:18:49 You know what that does
00:18:51 - You covered Jesus Jones?
00:18:53 How old are you?
00:18:57 I don't wanna talk about that.
00:18:59 Do this. Show the idiots in charge
00:19:02 ...then you can make the call
00:19:04 I can't look at them without la-
00:19:08 You'll figure it out. Unh.
00:19:11 Close them.
00:19:15 So have they offered you a job yet?
00:19:17 It's nice to talk to you too, Corinne.
00:19:19 Have you even asked them?
00:19:20 Look, the whole newspaper business
00:19:23 People here are struggling
00:19:26 ...so I can't exactly ask for one.
00:19:28 Maya, statue.
00:19:30 Look, all I'm saying,
00:19:33 ...is that you are behind in your life,
00:19:36 Yeah, I'm currently up to speed on the fact
00:19:41 Maya, statue.
00:19:45 Ooh, Olive Garden.
00:19:48 - Jesus Chri- Phil!
00:19:52 Erin?
00:19:54 I need you to watch Maya for me, please.
00:19:56 Erin. All the other interns are doing
00:20:00 Okay.
00:20:03 Hugh, wait.
00:20:05 Look, I would really love
00:20:10 And it's fine that my last piece
00:20:13 ...and the ones that do
00:20:16 But it is my dream to work here...
00:20:18 ...and I would like
00:20:20 Good. Then do that.
00:20:22 Okay.
00:20:24 Um, well, is there a piece
00:20:27 A piece.
00:20:28 Uh, the only thing I have is a human
00:20:32 - It's a charitable organization-
00:20:35 It grants wishes to terminally ill children.
00:20:38 Don't get too excited.
00:20:42 - I'm on it.
00:20:43 Uh, write it up, put it on my desk.
00:20:52 Corinne- Ugh.
00:20:55 Thanks a lot, Erin.
00:20:58 Spit it out. Spit. More. More. More.
00:21:02 All of it. All of it. Maya.
00:21:04 All of it. All of it.
00:21:10 There's that. Thank you so much.
00:21:16 - Hello?
00:21:19 I see you haven't entered me
00:21:22 Oh, you know what happened?
00:21:24 - What's that?
00:21:27 Ah.
00:21:28 That's too bad for me. Um-
00:21:31 Well, I, Garrett, was wondering
00:21:36 Um, yeah. I could eat.
00:21:38 Yeah? Great.
00:21:41 - All right, text me the address.
00:21:51 What's your favorite food?
00:21:53 Every Friday night, my family, we'd go out
00:21:57 I'd get tortellini.
00:21:59 I think I love it just because of that.
00:22:03 How would you like to die?
00:22:06 - Eating too much tortellini.
00:22:08 Or waterboarding.
00:22:11 Give me, like, three albums that you really
00:22:15 Licensed To lll, the Beastie Boys.
00:22:17 Oh, the best.
00:22:19 That was one because it was dangerous.
00:22:23 I thought like-
00:22:25 ...getting chocolate milk
00:22:27 Okay, what's the meanest lie
00:22:30 - ... to get them out in the morning?
00:22:42 Ready?
00:22:44 There it is.
00:22:46 - That way. Love that. Love that.
00:22:49 Okay, run. Wrong way.
00:22:51 Fuck!
00:22:55 No, no, no! No!
00:23:15 Ugh.
00:23:16 I mean, is that gonna go on all day?
00:23:19 We're staring directly at you.
00:23:20 We're rowing
00:23:23 Come on, we're having fun here.
00:23:40 Do you wanna have kids?
00:23:43 Why, you wanna take those kids?
00:23:44 No, I mean, just like, you know,
00:23:48 Yeah, of course.
00:23:50 Do you?
00:23:52 I don't know.
00:23:53 That's why I like coming
00:23:56 Some of them seem genuinely, not only
00:24:00 I think sometimes that's more important
00:24:03 Like the guy we saw in the plaid shirt
00:24:07 The only way you're content in life
00:24:10 - They make each other laugh-
00:24:13 - Ha-ha-ha.
00:24:15 I'm having fun.
00:24:16 Me too.
00:24:18 I'm only here for a couple more weeks.
00:24:22 But maybe you'll come back one day.
00:24:27 Pushing that deadline another day.
00:24:32 See you.
00:24:34 - Um, excuse me, Hugh? Hi.
00:24:38 Um, I just wanted to say goodbye
00:24:42 Well, goodbye.
00:24:43 I was curious, um, what did you think
00:24:47 Uh... Oh, it was good.
00:24:50 - You are?
00:24:51 - Really?
00:24:53 - Well, that's great.
00:24:56 - Nice piece of writing.
00:24:58 Yeah. Good work.
00:24:59 I want you to know
00:25:02 Good.
00:25:06 Okay.
00:25:07 Do you think that there's
00:25:11 ...that it could lead to a job?
00:25:14 Well, look, you know,
00:25:18 ...and anything's possible...
00:25:20 ...so why don't you call me
00:25:22 - And we'll see where things are at.
00:25:26 - Okay, good. Perfect.
00:25:28 - All right. Great.
00:25:30 Great, that's good, Erin. Thank you.
00:25:34 - Okay. Bye, Hugh. Thank you.
00:25:40 Hey, you.
00:25:41 Good afternoon, is Erin there, please?
00:25:44 This is Erin.
00:25:46 Is it? Well, this is Garrett Austin Scully
00:25:49 I met you at that bar
00:25:52 Yeah, I remember. Nice hair, decent face.
00:25:56 Ah. That's the one.
00:25:57 Listen, I know this is your
00:26:00 ...so I was wondering if you would
00:26:03 ...for a nice farewell dinner.
00:26:06 I would love to.
00:26:13 All right, I don't wanna impress you all
00:26:18 - That's genuine cloth, that's polyester.
00:26:20 Yeah, not to put on airs or anything,
00:26:24 Ha-ha-ha. Wow. You have really
00:26:30 I will take that not sarcastically.
00:26:32 Good evening.
00:26:34 Um, can I get your drink order
00:26:37 - Should we get some wine?
00:26:38 - Do you have a list?
00:26:41 We just have the one,
00:26:44 It's a Sunshine Harbor?
00:26:46 It's the house wine.
00:26:49 And how is it?
00:26:51 - Um, it's okay. You know.
00:26:55 - All right.
00:26:57 I think the lady and I will partake
00:27:01 ...per your glowing recommendation.
00:27:03 - Um, now, what year is this?
00:27:05 This.
00:27:07 Nothing worse than an old wine.
00:27:09 That's how I feeI.
00:27:11 - I'll be right back to get your order.
00:27:16 Um, ahem.
00:27:18 I just wanna thank you
00:27:22 Well, because you are a beautifuI, funny,
00:27:29 ...who I've had
00:27:32 Yeah, I'm bummed it's our last night.
00:27:34 Me too.
00:27:36 And I've-
00:27:38 I don't think I've ever enjoyed
00:27:41 It's been such a good six weeks.
00:27:44 Went by so fast.
00:27:47 I can't really articulate.
00:27:49 Six weeks too fast.
00:27:51 Me like you.
00:27:52 Wine.
00:28:00 - Oh, my God.
00:28:03 You're lucky you didn't keep it in,
00:28:58 Well, I guess this is it.
00:28:59 Yeah. Guess this is it.
00:29:13 Take care of yourself.
00:29:16 Okay.
00:29:18 - Okay, bye.
00:29:22 - Uh- Oh, let me-
00:29:41 Whoa, whoa.
00:29:43 - No, I-
00:29:45 - I need to talk to this girI quickly.
00:29:49 - Yeah.
00:29:51 - Yeah.
00:29:53 Like the wind.
00:29:55 - What the hell does that mean?
00:29:58 Please. Two seconds.
00:30:00 - Go on, now.
00:30:02 Thank you so much.
00:30:12 Langford. Hey!
00:30:15 - What are you doing?
00:30:17 - I know.
00:30:18 - That was terrible.
00:30:19 - I can't end it like this.
00:30:21 And that car ride was a disaster.
00:30:23 Oh, that was awfuI. It was so awkward.
00:30:25 So awkward.
00:30:26 - It's the worst.
00:30:28 Yeah, sorry, go ahead.
00:30:29 Thank you.
00:30:30 I didn't know if you wanted to keep
00:30:34 I just- I freaked out, okay?
00:30:37 I've had such a good time with you...
00:30:39 ...and a part of me
00:30:41 ...but I have been down this road before
00:30:44 I dropped out of college and I followed him
00:30:48 ...and I dropped everything for him.
00:30:51 And that's why my timeline is all off,
00:30:54 And now I finally got everything
00:30:57 ...you know, with my life and schooI...
00:30:59 ...and then you had to come along...
00:31:01 - ... and fuck that all up.
00:31:04 I'm sorry.
00:31:06 I'm not asking you to drop out of schooI
00:31:09 I'm just asking to see you
00:31:15 Fuck the miles. Fuck them.
00:31:18 I'll be here and you'll be there
00:31:21 ...because quite frankly,
00:31:26 I'm crazy about you too.
00:31:39 I'm so glad you picked me up.
00:31:41 Of course.
00:31:43 Maya made you something.
00:31:47 - She's here.
00:31:51 - Hi. Hi, my beautifuI niece.
00:31:54 Hi.
00:31:56 "The suspect, Mr. Jones...
00:31:57 ...was heavily intoxicated
00:32:01 We need to know where this information
00:32:07 Aw, come on, man.
00:32:09 Are you serious?
00:32:10 - All right.
00:32:12 - Hold on.
00:32:13 "Nothing. What are you doing?"
00:32:15 "Nothing.
00:32:18 "This funny thing happened at schooI."
00:32:26 He sneezed and scared mommy panda.
00:32:29 Oh, my God. Baby panda has a cold.
00:32:36 I had a thing when I was a kid.
00:32:39 I thought it was cooI to not have lips.
00:32:45 Those guys, like, I idolized them.
00:32:47 They didn't have, like, lips,
00:33:04 - Oh.
00:33:18 Look at that. You're up.
00:33:22 You kidding me?
00:33:25 What are you doing? Come on. Come-
00:33:27 - What the fuck?
00:33:29 Fore!
00:33:30 - Are you fucking kidding?
00:33:37 You're such an asshole.
00:33:38 I gotta program all my numbers
00:33:41 Ha, ha. Come on, man,
00:33:43 It was a pretty good hit.
00:33:45 It was funny, I'll give
00:33:47 - Destroying my phone? Come on.
00:33:50 No, probably not. Not at all.
00:33:52 No, but it's like her vagina
00:33:55 I like him. A lot.
00:33:57 Okay, I know, I know,
00:33:59 - Are you in an exclusive relationship?
00:34:02 What do you mean?
00:34:05 I mean, he could be out there dry humping
00:34:09 "Dry humping"? Oh, that's scandalous.
00:34:12 PhiI and I dry hump. Okay?
00:34:14 And it is intense. And it's very erotic.
00:34:16 And it's the only way
00:34:19 Dry humping is no fucking joke.
00:34:21 So I think that you need to be clear
00:34:25 Now what is the story
00:34:27 Are you doing it monogamous
00:34:29 Yeah.
00:34:31 I don't know. Uh...
00:34:33 - Maybe, yeah.
00:34:34 Wow, okay.
00:34:37 It gets her sucking every dude's dick
00:34:41 Then you go and visit her.
00:34:42 You have to kiss that blow-job factory
00:34:45 Thank you for that visuaI. Thanks, paI.
00:34:48 That was, like, way graphic.
00:34:51 He's thousands of miles away from here.
00:34:55 He could be at some bar,
00:35:00 ...dry humping her.
00:35:01 We haven't set the boundaries yet.
00:35:03 - Okay?
00:35:05 We're not trying to choke each other
00:35:07 But now you're freaking me out...
00:35:09 ...and I can't do anything but picture him
00:35:13 I'm your sister.
00:35:16 - I see PhiI dry humping you.
00:35:18 I don't wanna think about
00:35:22 Like, between the snorting
00:35:24 ...he's like a fucking shar-pei.
00:35:26 Or what are those dogs with the:
00:35:29 - Bulldogs?
00:35:32 Does he look up at you
00:35:35 - Wanting approvaI?
00:35:37 "Am I doing it okay? Am I doing it?"
00:35:39 - I hate that. Shut up and lick.
00:35:41 I don't know, actually.
00:35:43 Okay, look, look.
00:35:45 Can you hook up with other people?
00:35:47 - Can you masturbate?
00:35:50 Can you masturbate yourself off at all?
00:35:52 - Why wouldn't I?
00:35:54 - Some girls don't like you to masturbate.
00:35:58 Well, I'm just saying, like, some women
00:36:02 Because I can hear you
00:36:04 And you crack off a lot.
00:36:06 "Crack it off"?
00:36:07 Who says "crack off"?
00:36:08 Why? What do you say?
00:36:10 You may be thinking
00:36:12 - "Snap it off"?
00:36:15 I don't want anything to snap and pop
00:36:18 - If it cracks a little bit, fine.
00:36:20 The point is, you're gonna chafe yourself
00:36:23 All right, so, we-
00:36:26 Okay. Don't pull, though.
00:36:28 He goes crazy.
00:36:31 Angry.
00:36:32 Angry masturbation,
00:36:34 - You can really injure yourself.
00:36:36 So he doesn't really know that.
00:36:38 Yeah. I have to tell my grandson that.
00:36:41 Tell your grandson.
00:36:44 Well, just him. Not others.
00:36:45 You're right. Just him.
00:36:51 I guess you have to define it
00:36:53 So I guess we're saying...
00:36:58 ...we're exclusive?
00:37:00 - Yeah.
00:37:03 - I'm happy.
00:37:05 Secretly, this is what I was aiming for.
00:37:08 Well, not-so-secretly, me too.
00:37:11 Keep it light.
00:37:12 Light. Disease-free and light.
00:37:14 - Ha-ha-ha.
00:37:17 Goodbye.
00:37:21 Can I please get the garbage omelet,
00:37:26 ...and how about everything bageI...
00:37:28 ...with butter, cream cheese,
00:37:31 And then, you know what?
00:37:34 And I will make it very easy for you.
00:37:36 - You know, I'll have that same exact thing.
00:37:38 - I'll just have the turkey burger.
00:37:40 Is there a way to just wrap it in lettuce,
00:37:45 Can do no bun. Does that work?
00:37:48 Fries or salad?
00:37:49 Uh, I'll get the salad
00:37:53 Yep, coming up.
00:37:56 - Wow.
00:37:57 - You're eating like a bird there, huh?
00:38:00 He's visiting Erin for Thanksgiving
00:38:04 - All right.
00:38:05 I told you not to say anything.
00:38:07 We haven't seen each other
00:38:10 Okay, I understand.
00:38:12 - Wanna tighten up.
00:38:14 If you're so worried about your appearance,
00:38:18 - ... about your veiny, white skin?
00:38:19 Right now you look like an actor
00:38:22 - You're one to talk about appearances.
00:38:24 No offense, but with the moustache...
00:38:27 - What? You don't like it?
00:38:29 I don't care what you think.
00:38:32 Who's it for, the '83 Yankees bullpen?
00:38:35 - Now, there we are.
00:38:36 No, I'm actually trying to scratch a very
00:38:40 - What's a fuck-it list?
00:38:43 ...but it's women he's trying to bang
00:38:46 So, what kind of women
00:38:49 - Older women, between 45 and 60.
00:38:52 - This is where it's weird.
00:38:54 Okay, see, cougars, to me,
00:38:57 ...that want to be young now.
00:38:59 Okay? But what I'm looking for are older
00:39:02 ...that want to be young again.
00:39:05 See, when women see me
00:39:08 ...they're transported back
00:39:11 - The '70s, the early '80s.
00:39:13 All right?
00:39:15 So then, when I'm on top of them,
00:39:18 ...they see this person,
00:39:21 All right? See, this isn't a moustache,
00:39:24 It's a time machine
00:39:27 Right. You know what, it's-
00:39:29 Bottom line is don't get a moustache,
00:39:31 I don't think she's that kind of girI.
00:39:35 Okay, so she won't bang fat dudes...
00:39:37 ...but she will sleep with a guy
00:39:41 If she's gonna
00:39:43 - ... she'll dump you for not having a tan.
00:39:47 All right, I get the point.
00:39:51 Once you're in the machine,
00:39:53 You're gonna wanna put this on
00:39:57 ...unless you want your hands stained.
00:39:58 - Right this way.
00:40:01 - Enjoy the Faux de SoleiI.
00:40:34 - Ooh.
00:40:39 - Uh-
00:40:41 - Should I be wearing underwear?
00:40:44 Excuse me. Oh, God. Oh, goddamn it.
00:40:47 Oh, and it stings.
00:40:48 Fuck. Fuck, my eyes sting.
00:40:50 What is this? Excuse me.
00:40:51 Should I be wearing goggles?
00:40:53 It stings. Is this bad?
00:40:56 Ah. Tastes gross. Pff, pff.
00:40:59 Tastes like poison. Pff, pff.
00:41:01 Should I-? Is it bad if I eat it?
00:41:11 Erin, you just got sat another table.
00:41:13 No way. I closed out my section.
00:41:16 Well, you were requested. So...
00:41:20 Sorry, Mama.
00:41:24 Goddamn it.
00:41:29 I'm not gonna order anything,
00:41:32 But I got a tip for you.
00:41:34 Is it the tip of your penis?
00:41:37 - No, gross. Yes, it is.
00:41:41 Oh, my God.
00:41:44 - Twenty percent of my dick.
00:41:59 Oh, God, yes. Come on.
00:42:01 Where's the bedroom?
00:42:03 Come over here.
00:42:07 Oh, God. Oh, I missed you.
00:42:09 Come here. God!
00:42:11 Oh, God. Oh, God!
00:42:17 Oh!
00:42:24 PhiI!
00:42:26 They came in so fast,
00:42:29 Hi. I'm PhiI.
00:42:31 Hey. I'm Garrett.
00:42:32 - Nice to meet you.
00:42:34 - Why are you introducing yourself?
00:42:37 Get up. Fucking get up.
00:42:39 Is she still here?
00:42:40 - You got a handprint on your ass.
00:42:43 - Don't engage.
00:42:46 - They're the ones fucking.
00:42:50 You guys are all set up, so I'll just-
00:42:52 - Um...
00:43:10 Aw...
00:43:12 Mm. Corinne,
00:43:16 Thank you.
00:43:19 Sorry?
00:43:20 I spent-
00:43:23 Ahem. Well, very good.
00:43:27 - Um, Garrett.
00:43:30 Now, are you a singer or a musician?
00:43:33 No. Neither one. Excuse me.
00:43:35 Yeah, I'm just behind-the-scenes guy.
00:43:38 He actually goes out and scouts
00:43:44 ...and he takes us
00:43:47 These seedy hole-in-the-walls
00:43:50 - That sounds cooI.
00:43:52 - She's building it up.
00:43:54 She's being sweet.
00:43:56 Believe me, it's a lot more interesting
00:43:59 Oh.
00:44:01 Cardboard containers, Karen. Please.
00:44:05 - Pretty much boxes. Pretty much boxes.
00:44:08 Oh. I often use boxes.
00:44:13 The thing about my job
00:44:16 In fact, both of our fields
00:44:19 - We're in very similar positions.
00:44:21 But we do it because we love it.
00:44:23 We do it because we love it.
00:44:25 So, Erin, did you know
00:44:28 No. He completely surprised me.
00:44:30 Surprised me too.
00:44:33 - No one knew.
00:44:35 But he surprised me at work
00:44:40 - Oh.
00:44:43 It wasn't a big deaI.
00:44:45 I didn't, like, rappeI in from
00:44:49 How come you never do that?
00:44:51 Because we live together, Karen.
00:44:52 I know, but it's nice
00:44:55 How long have you guys been together?
00:44:58 - It's been a long time now. Yeah.
00:45:00 It's kind of like when you get really drunk
00:45:04 ...you don't know how much time's
00:45:09 Oh.
00:45:10 Erin, Karen, would you come help me
00:45:14 Absolutely. Corinne's gonna go assassinate
00:45:18 - Oh. Hurry. Hurry up.
00:45:22 Um...
00:45:24 So, Ron, do you make all different sizes
00:45:29 Do you have any idea of the trouble
00:45:35 Ron, please,
00:45:37 I'll tell you what's bothering me there,
00:45:40 You just caused a prime-time problem
00:45:43 Now I gotta go home and listen to her
00:45:46 Ha, ha. You think some effing sappy shit
00:45:51 I stopped listening after "bucko. "
00:45:52 Listen up. We're in the effing trenches here,
00:45:56 All right? And we're here every day.
00:45:59 It's not about flowers and presents
00:46:02 Do you think you can just come in here
00:46:07 What?
00:46:08 You think that's what it's like
00:46:10 When you're in a serious,
00:46:15 You think you're gonna be able to work out
00:46:19 No. You're not gonna be able to keep it.
00:46:25 And I don't wanna say
00:46:30 If it goes away
00:46:33 Hey.
00:46:34 - Hey, how are you?
00:46:36 Hey, do you remember my friend Harper
00:46:38 Yeah, we've met. How are you?
00:46:54 What the rest did
00:46:58 But I don't mind
00:47:01 Drawn on two sides
00:47:05 But I don't mind
00:47:08 And I, I spit fire
00:47:11 - Hey.
00:47:14 - I love them. Yeah.
00:47:16 You don't believe me
00:47:19 They spent three years and all their money
00:47:22 Really?
00:47:23 These are the bands
00:47:25 I hate that. I hate that a band like this
00:47:30 It's just take a chance on someone
00:47:33 ...because they're genuinely talented.
00:47:36 Sorry. I'm sorry.
00:47:37 It's just frustrating because I know
00:47:41 It would be like a waste of time
00:47:43 Well, if you act all melodramatic
00:47:46 But if you showed your balls and you
00:47:50 ...and said "listen to this,"
00:47:53 Or get mad at you
00:47:56 There you are.
00:47:59 Hi. How are you?
00:48:01 - I'm all right. How are you?
00:48:03 What's going on?
00:48:04 - Hey. Garrett.
00:48:05 - Nice to meet you.
00:48:07 - We all work together. He is the bartender.
00:48:11 - Cheers.
00:48:12 Where have you been, Damon?
00:48:16 Aw...
00:48:17 No, she's just getting old...
00:48:19 ...and I want her to live closer to me,
00:48:22 Aw...
00:48:23 Gush.
00:48:24 It's funny, because I actually want my
00:48:30 - Damon is close with his mom.
00:48:32 - Well, you know, it's my mom, you know?
00:48:35 - "And then my mom. "
00:48:37 Mothers are important.
00:48:40 You wouldn't be here
00:48:42 Found it easy
00:48:44 Easy
00:48:57 Ooh. Shh.
00:49:00 What?
00:49:01 Maya. Oh.
00:49:05 Hells yeah.
00:49:07 - Icing and vodka.
00:49:09 - That's a great chaser. Mm.
00:49:15 So Damon seems like a good guy.
00:49:18 Oh, my God. He's amazing.
00:49:20 - Like my rock.
00:49:23 Yeah, I wouldn't get through work
00:49:25 Wow. And he's handsome,
00:49:30 - Are you jealous?
00:49:34 No. Mm-mm.
00:49:36 Yes, you are.
00:49:37 I'm just a little curious if you guys
00:49:41 You know. Sorry.
00:49:45 No. No. Not at all.
00:49:49 Oh, my God.
00:49:51 You always gotta close your eyes.
00:50:04 - Hey, Corinne.
00:50:06 I'm taking off.
00:50:09 Um, can I help you? I don't know
00:50:13 - No! No! No.
00:50:15 - Sorry. No. No thank you. I'm good.
00:50:17 - I'm good.
00:50:20 Our introduction was not how I imagined
00:50:27 ...but that was my hand.
00:50:30 The handprint on my, uh, buttocks...
00:50:36 ...and my genitalia.
00:50:39 You have a handprint on your crotch too?
00:50:44 - You ready?
00:50:47 - Okay. Well, see you later, Corinne.
00:50:50 Okay, bye.
00:50:52 Have a safe-
00:50:54 Have a safe flight, Garrett.
00:50:57 Or not- You're not flying. Okay.
00:51:04 Oh, yes. Middle seat. Awesome.
00:51:08 And a layover. Be fun.
00:51:11 Thank you for making this trip.
00:51:13 Thank you. That was the best.
00:51:15 I had fun.
00:51:16 I had fun too. Despite everything.
00:51:20 Please, please apologize
00:51:23 - I will.
00:51:24 - God, she hates me. She does.
00:51:31 I love you.
00:51:34 I love you too.
00:51:47 I miss you already.
00:52:07 Cruella de ViI
00:52:09 I'm pretty sure she was.
00:52:12 I think you're wrong about that.
00:52:14 Welcome home, buddy boy.
00:52:16 Dude, what the fuck is this?
00:52:18 - We got an open-door policy. It's cooI.
00:52:22 Well, we don't. He does.
00:52:24 - How was the trip, bro?
00:52:27 - Do we have beers?
00:52:29 - Will you grab me one?
00:52:30 Don't drink a beer on the toilet.
00:52:32 I was worried you'd get dumped...
00:52:34 ...and we'd have to go to the bar.
00:52:36 No. It was really good.
00:52:38 All the way.
00:52:40 - Not far enough.
00:52:42 - I can't reach.
00:52:44 I am not gonna hand you a beer
00:52:47 - I don't wanna get up.
00:52:49 I'm pooping as we speak.
00:52:52 Take it. There. Take it.
00:52:54 Thank you!
00:52:56 - I'm gonna go.
00:52:59 Did you tell her you loved her?
00:53:03 - I might have.
00:53:05 Yeah. I did.
00:53:07 Are you serious?
00:53:09 Wow.
00:53:10 - You gotta be carefuI.
00:53:12 - You gotta be carefuI.
00:53:15 How long have you been together?
00:53:18 That's a very long time.
00:53:19 Stop.
00:53:20 Okay. Four months, all right? So now,
00:53:24 ...do you think you've spent together,
00:53:28 - Uh, I don't know.
00:53:30 - Yeah. Forty days.
00:53:32 Sure, that sounds about right.
00:53:34 Now look, I have done the long-distance
00:53:37 And it doesn't matter how good
00:53:40 It literally can just rip it apart.
00:53:43 Look, it is just very hard to be away from
00:53:47 I know. I know it's not gonna be easy.
00:53:50 That's all I'm saying.
00:53:54 But maybe you never found
00:53:57 That's not a bad point.
00:54:00 - Jesus Christ.
00:54:03 You know what?
00:54:06 It's Erin, leave a message.
00:54:10 Well, now I miss you even more.
00:54:13 Thanks a lot.
00:54:18 I'm going to bed,
00:54:23 Okay, good night.
00:55:10 It's barely gonna fit.
00:55:13 But you saw the top off
00:55:15 What's the point?
00:55:18 This one looks little.
00:55:21 Okay, let's open our presents
00:55:23 It's exciting and sad,
00:55:27 Okay.
00:55:28 You did a good wrapping job too.
00:55:32 Oh... Centipede.
00:55:35 I love it!
00:55:39 That's so awesome.
00:55:41 I love my present.
00:55:43 I love you.
00:55:52 Hyah!
00:55:56 Hyah!
00:56:01 Hey, Corinne.
00:56:03 Can you ask Maya to keep it down
00:56:06 Maya, statue.
00:56:22 Hello.
00:56:24 Hi, um, Hugh Edwards, please.
00:56:26 - This is he.
00:56:31 - No.
00:56:34 No.
00:56:36 I wrote that piece that you liked
00:56:41 - Oh, yeah. How are you?
00:56:44 Um...
00:56:45 You told me
00:56:49 ...about a possible permanent position,
00:56:53 ...here I am, calling you.
00:56:55 Oh, right.
00:56:57 Well, look, honestly, we just got done
00:57:02 ...so we're not gonna be hiring
00:57:06 Sorry.
00:57:08 Why don't you try blogging? You know?
00:57:12 Look, uh, best of luck to you.
00:57:15 - Okay.
00:57:17 Thank you.
00:57:24 Fuck! Fuck.
00:57:26 I wanted that job, okay?
00:57:28 I wanted to be in New York.
00:57:30 Look at it this way, it's not like
00:57:34 They're just not taking anyone.
00:57:36 Yeah, I get it.
00:57:39 It's not just about the fucking job.
00:57:43 I know. Believe me, I know.
00:57:46 But there are other papers in New York,
00:57:50 I seriously doubt...
00:57:52 ...that if a paper like The Sentinel just cut
00:57:57 Yeah, but listen,
00:58:00 You're angry and you're frustrated
00:58:04 I know, I know.
00:58:06 That's the whole fucking problem
00:58:09 ...and I'm in this fucking kitchen right now,
00:58:13 Relax now, and try to get some sleep and
00:58:18 Um, I gotta go, okay?
00:58:19 - Bye.
00:58:26 - Wanna do some more of that later?
00:58:35 Long-distance fucking sucks.
00:58:39 Yep. Look, I told you it was rough.
00:58:42 I know. It's so rough.
00:58:44 And even worse, I'm so horny.
00:58:49 There's definitely someone here
00:58:52 - Don't tempt me.
00:58:55 What am I gonna do for a fucking job?
00:58:58 Okay? What am I gonna do with my life?
00:59:01 I don't want to be a waitress forever.
00:59:04 No, seriously, listen to me.
00:59:06 I want to be a reporter.
00:59:09 What, like on the newspaper?
00:59:11 See, you understand. Fuck.
00:59:15 - Thank you.
00:59:17 There we go.
00:59:21 Jesus Christ.
00:59:22 Ha-ha-ha. Sorry.
00:59:25 Let me tell you, steroid-face. I'd think
00:59:29 Watch yourself, sweetheart.
00:59:31 Speaking of sweethearts,
00:59:33 - She doesn't have a dick.
00:59:35 No, she doesn't.
00:59:37 And you should put your mouth
00:59:39 Get her out of here
00:59:41 My friend is gonna kick your ass.
00:59:43 - Oh, is that right?
00:59:44 By the way, steroids have side effects.
00:59:48 They may include a small dick,
00:59:52 - You out of your mind?
00:59:54 We could all sit around and watch
00:59:58 - Bye.
01:00:01 Seriously.
01:00:03 Suck it!
01:00:05 Stupid fuck.
01:00:06 Let's get in there! We can take him!
01:00:09 Son of a bitch.
01:00:18 I need to get home.
01:00:23 Are you gonna be okay?
01:00:26 I'm fine.
01:00:52 Hi.
01:00:54 Honey, I'm just gonna tell you right now,
01:01:10 Shit.
01:01:21 - Hello?
01:01:23 Oh, my God.
01:01:26 Please, please, God, tell me you're okay.
01:01:28 Yeah, I'm fine. I just- Unh.
01:01:31 I was out late last night with Damon.
01:01:36 Damon? Yeah?
01:01:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:01:41 - Wow. Okay.
01:01:45 - Nothing.
01:01:48 Nothing happened, okay?
01:01:50 - Huh.
01:01:53 Please just tell me that you trust me.
01:01:55 3Z's in the conference room already.
01:01:58 Yeah. I'm sorry. Okay.
01:02:00 I gotta go. Can't talk.
01:02:03 Oh, shit.
01:02:11 Langford...
01:02:13 - Yes?
01:02:14 Uh, no. Thank you for asking. Um-
01:02:18 I've checked every newspaper
01:02:22 ...and all dead ends.
01:02:23 Well, the Chronicle has an opening,
01:02:26 ...so I recommended you
01:02:30 Thank you. Um-
01:02:33 I just- I sort of had my heart
01:02:36 Well, it's kind of brutaI out there.
01:02:41 Okay.
01:02:43 Thank you.
01:02:45 San Francisco Chronicle, may I help you?
01:02:54 San Francisco Chronicle, please hold.
01:02:58 - You can go in now.
01:03:04 I'm looking for any job opportunities in
01:03:10 Totally, I get it.
01:03:12 Yeah. You know, I tried them, but-
01:03:15 Thank you, though. Okay, thank you.
01:03:17 Why don't you try blowing me next time?
01:03:20 Um...
01:03:21 - Okay.
01:03:23 Sorry, I'm dealing with some shit.
01:03:26 I'm sorry. Bad timing.
01:03:27 - It's okay. It's good to know.
01:03:31 It's for a month from now.
01:03:34 It's mine. It's for my birthday.
01:03:41 Shit.
01:03:42 Mark's coming in from Florida
01:03:46 ...so I kind of gotta plan ahead.
01:03:48 - I'm so sorry.
01:03:51 It's fine.
01:03:52 This is not an excuse,
01:03:55 I haven't seen my girlfriend in a while.
01:03:58 I'm in a long-distance relationship too,
01:04:00 - It fucking sucks.
01:04:03 Tell me you have some suggestions.
01:04:07 Phone sex.
01:04:08 And, um, lots of it.
01:04:16 What are you wearing?
01:04:20 Uh...
01:04:21 Red lace panties and a bra and a garter.
01:04:26 Holy shit, you really went all out.
01:04:29 No, you fucking idiot, it's a fantasy.
01:04:32 - Oh, right.
01:04:35 Um...
01:04:36 What do you think is sexy?
01:04:38 White boxer briefs.
01:04:41 Really? Like Marky Mark?
01:04:43 Oh, God, especially like Marky Mark.
01:04:46 If you even say "Marky Mark"...
01:04:48 - ... I'm gonna fucking come right now.
01:04:52 Please. I'm so horny I can't even think.
01:04:54 - All right, sorry.
01:04:58 Okay, so tell me about something
01:05:03 I'm touching myself.
01:05:05 Yeah, okay, good. Where?
01:05:08 Everywhere. Absolutely everywhere,
01:05:12 - Up and down?
01:05:15 Oh, God, yeah, that's good.
01:05:16 - I want to make good on that. Hold on.
01:05:21 Hello? I lost you.
01:05:23 - Did I lose you?
01:05:26 - Hello?
01:05:27 - Okay, all right.
01:05:30 I wanna fuck you so hard.
01:05:33 I wanna come all over you.
01:05:35 No, I want you to come on the toweI
01:05:38 - Yeah, okay.
01:05:41 You know what I fucking love doing?
01:05:44 Oh, yeah.
01:05:45 - Wait, wait, wait.
01:05:47 - But I'm on top. Baby, I'm on top.
01:05:51 - I'm on top. How can you be on top?
01:05:54 No, we're on a plane.
01:05:55 Didn't I tell you that we're in your car?
01:05:57 You said the toweI next to my pillow.
01:06:01 Why would there be a toweI
01:06:03 They give out those hand towels
01:06:06 Well, we wouldn't be in first class,
01:06:09 - Fine, we're in coach.
01:06:12 Are they watching us fucking?
01:06:13 We're in a bathroom.
01:06:15 I don't wanna get that blue toilet shit
01:06:18 I'm not gonna put you in the toilet.
01:06:20 - Put the lid down-
01:06:23 We're not gonna get arrested. We'll lock
01:06:27 Oh, Christ, you know what?
01:06:31 Oh, fuck the car.
01:06:34 You know what?
01:06:37 This isn't really working.
01:06:39 - I'm sorry.
01:06:41 You know, I thought "blue balls"
01:06:44 ...but I'm getting a lot
01:06:47 I'm actually kind of concerned.
01:06:49 Oh, God.
01:06:52 That's okay.
01:06:53 I'll just tighten the vise grip
01:06:57 - All right. You do that.
01:07:00 - All right.
01:07:02 Bye.
01:07:06 Fuck!
01:07:08 You know, Garrett, I like the airplane.
01:07:11 Dan, are you kidding?
01:07:37 Hello?
01:07:38 Hello, Erin?
01:07:41 Hello.
01:07:43 Listen, we're all very impressed over here
01:07:46 ...and I would like to offer you the position
01:07:51 - Really?
01:07:54 So we'll need you to come in
01:07:58 ...and you can meet with our editors.
01:08:00 Okay. Thank you very much.
01:08:03 You're welcome. Bye-bye.
01:08:43 I'm sorry about not picking you up,
01:08:47 With the romance and the candles
01:08:53 Hey, Erin.
01:08:56 Hi, Dan.
01:08:58 I missed you.
01:08:59 I missed you too, Dan.
01:09:01 I missed you so much.
01:09:16 Wait.
01:09:19 Just wait, wait, baby.
01:09:25 Okay. Can I be done waiting now?
01:09:28 - Listen, okay?
01:09:30 I just- I need a second.
01:09:33 And I've missed you.
01:09:36 Oh, my God, I've missed you too.
01:09:40 What is it? Something's wrong.
01:09:42 I am really, really getting tired of us
01:09:48 I know. I know, but look,
01:09:51 Yeah.
01:09:53 And, um...
01:09:55 But there's a job.
01:09:58 What do you mean? What job?
01:10:00 Well, I interviewed
01:10:05 ...and they offered me a job.
01:10:07 Wow.
01:10:09 That's great.
01:10:11 - Yeah.
01:10:15 I don't know.
01:10:18 Oh. Man.
01:10:23 Wow.
01:10:25 What?
01:10:27 - Nothing.
01:10:29 It's a little strange to me...
01:10:32 ...because in one breath
01:10:35 ...that it's hard to be apart
01:10:38 And then in the next you're saying we
01:10:43 No, I mean, I don't know yet, okay?
01:10:45 And my goaI is to be here with you.
01:10:48 But this is such a big opportunity for me
01:10:53 Yeah, let's talk about this huge bomb
01:10:58 Fuck, Erin, you didn't even tell me
01:11:01 I didn't mean to keep it from you.
01:11:03 Well, you did.
01:11:06 It's something you either do or you don't.
01:11:10 You know, amazingly,
01:11:14 Fuck.
01:11:15 Erin, you know what?
01:11:21 I don't know, I'm feeling sexy tonight,
01:11:24 I got a good feeling like I might be getting
01:11:29 - Not it.
01:11:31 Come on, Dan, just shoot pooI.
01:11:32 All right, okay. I'm just trying
01:11:36 I'm gonna go get another drink.
01:11:46 Well, if you need me
01:11:50 No matter what
01:11:56 Garrett.
01:11:57 - Hi.
01:11:59 What are you doing here?
01:12:00 Uh, Box invited me.
01:12:02 Of course.
01:12:04 - Do you wanna do a shot of Jäger?
01:12:06 Hey, Christopher. Two.
01:12:09 This is so weird
01:12:12 - You look great.
01:12:14 Ahh. Thank you.
01:12:15 Hey. Um, I was just looking for you
01:12:20 - Hi.
01:12:22 Sorry, this is Erin, my, um...
01:12:27 GirI- Girlfriend.
01:12:30 This is Brianna, who I work with.
01:12:32 It's so nice to finally meet you.
01:12:34 Garrett is always talking about you
01:12:37 It's really nice to put a face to it.
01:12:39 - It's nice to meet you too.
01:12:42 So are you planning on moving out here
01:12:46 Ooh.
01:12:48 - Hell of a question.
01:12:50 - I-
01:12:52 She got big news today that pertains
01:12:56 Tell her your big news.
01:12:59 Big news that I just found out about.
01:13:03 - No?
01:13:05 - Yeah.
01:13:08 I'm gonna go sleep at Brandy's
01:13:13 I'm- Yeah, bye.
01:13:19 All right.
01:13:24 Here you go.
01:13:29 Well...
01:13:31 ...cheers.
01:13:36 - Are you okay?
01:13:38 Ha, ha.
01:13:40 - You have a lot of jingle jangles.
01:13:43 - Hi.
01:13:44 - Garrett, introductions.
01:13:47 - Hi.
01:13:49 - Oh.
01:13:51 ...Jägermeister.
01:13:52 Hello, DanieI.
01:13:54 I'm a very wealthy man.
01:13:57 Ha-ha-ha.
01:14:11 What the fuck?
01:14:13 Fuck! Fuck! I don't know,
01:14:16 I got so drunk last night.
01:14:19 I'm sorry. I drank so much.
01:14:22 Ha-ha-ha. Hey.
01:14:26 Knock, knock, in there.
01:14:28 Hey, last night, awesome.
01:14:32 Seriously, the best sex of my life, ever.
01:14:34 You wanna go for round two?
01:14:36 Dan, you threw up on me!
01:14:38 I threw up on you a little bit
01:14:41 ...and I thought we were past that.
01:14:44 You cried all night.
01:14:45 Crying is a part of feeling, all right?
01:14:48 Come on. You want some breakfast?
01:14:51 I have a boyfriend.
01:14:54 Hey.
01:14:55 Hey.
01:14:57 Hey.
01:15:07 I should've just told you
01:15:12 You know, no matter what.
01:15:13 No.
01:15:15 You know, we'll figure it out.
01:15:18 We'll just figure it out.
01:15:24 I know that you keep saying
01:15:27 ...but we haven't.
01:15:30 But we will.
01:15:32 But we haven't and we need
01:15:37 Okay, well, uh...
01:15:39 Yeah, I know. Make a decision, then.
01:15:41 Why is this all on me?
01:15:43 What are you talking about, "why you"?
01:15:46 So it's all about whether
01:15:48 What about you moving
01:15:50 You kidding? I've been calling music labels
01:15:54 ...every day, diligently.
01:15:56 I called a labeI that turned out
01:15:58 ...who's collecting demos from his friends.
01:16:01 There's nothing. There are no jobs.
01:16:05 I love that you're fine with me
01:16:08 ...but you wouldn't even think about
01:16:12 - It's all about what's convenient for you.
01:16:15 And you hate your job.
01:16:19 Fine, I'll just make the decision
01:16:22 You can just totally leave it all on me.
01:16:25 I got it.
01:16:38 Look at me, oh, look at me
01:16:39 Is this the way I'll always be?
01:16:45 Jesus, Harper.
01:16:47 I'm checking out their packages.
01:16:50 Oh, that's gross.
01:16:53 - Um, hello?
01:16:57 - Hello?
01:16:59 - Where are you?
01:17:01 - Where are you?
01:17:04 I'm at, like, this sketchy club.
01:17:08 Oh, fun.
01:17:10 I can't hear you.
01:17:12 - Go outside.
01:17:15 You guys save mine.
01:17:18 He's an asshole.
01:17:20 Hey, Garrett.
01:17:22 - It's Harper. How you doing?
01:17:25 Look, Erin can't come to the phone...
01:17:27 ...because she's gonna meet a guy
01:17:30 ...and she's gonna make out with him
01:17:33 What?
01:17:35 I'm sorry.
01:17:38 Yeah, I know. It's okay.
01:17:40 No, it's just- You know Harper,
01:17:43 - Why was she saying all that stuff?
01:17:47 I told her about the fight, you know?
01:17:49 I had to, I'm sorry. I'm a fucking girI,
01:17:53 - Right.
01:17:55 Sure, I've seen Moesha.
01:17:57 CooI. Okay, what's going on with you?
01:17:59 Hey, listen. I know you're on a deadline
01:18:04 I know that, and you were right, by
01:18:08 I wanna help you
01:18:12 But that being said,
01:18:17 I want you in New York.
01:18:18 But not just you in New York, I want you
01:18:22 I wanna get a place with you,
01:18:25 A place that we can make our own...
01:18:26 ...where we can put Tom Cruise
01:18:29 ...and get Tom Cruise bed sheets
01:18:34 Or we could buy our own Centipede
01:18:36 ...and drink jugs of Sunshine Harbor
01:18:38 I just want a real relationship with you...
01:18:41 ...because I love you
01:18:44 And frankly, I am so tired of missing you.
01:18:49 And I know this is a lot to put on you.
01:18:52 And I'm open to whatever...
01:18:56 ...but I really wanna come out and see you
01:19:01 I'd like that.
01:19:03 Okay. Good.
01:19:06 - Okay.
01:19:09 Bye.
01:19:51 Maya Papaya.
01:19:55 She's upstairs in the shower.
01:19:58 - Baby? Hey.
01:20:00 - Hi. Hi.
01:20:03 - Hi.
01:20:06 - God, I missed you.
01:20:08 - Listen...
01:20:11 I wanna move to New York.
01:20:13 Are you serious?
01:20:16 Yes.
01:20:17 - Oh, my God.
01:20:23 So have you told the Chronicle yet?
01:20:26 No. I'm sort of waiting till Monday.
01:20:30 Okay.
01:20:31 PhiI wants to know if you guys
01:20:34 - Where you going?
01:20:37 Hey, Garrett.
01:20:40 - You can grab that for me.
01:20:42 - Start putting them on.
01:20:44 So...
01:20:46 Must be excited, huh?
01:20:47 Yeah. Excited.
01:20:49 It's wonderfuI.
01:20:52 You know, Garrett,
01:20:54 Of course.
01:20:56 I mean, she means everything to me.
01:20:59 And that, as you can see,
01:21:02 So it's been very hard for me watching her
01:21:06 ...to come with you
01:21:10 But, you know...
01:21:11 ...she loves you.
01:21:13 And, uh, I know how much you love her.
01:21:17 But you need to know how much
01:21:21 So don't break her heart.
01:21:23 Okay?
01:21:26 Or I'll cut your balls off.
01:21:29 - I'm not fucking kidding.
01:21:32 - I'm kidding.
01:21:34 - I'm kidding.
01:21:36 Thanks.
01:21:44 Um...
01:21:45 - So should I-?
01:21:47 - Yep. Okay.
01:21:52 Fucker.
01:21:56 Yeah, I wish I had lived in New York
01:21:59 Oh, yeah?
01:22:01 I feeI like I could have really
01:22:07 So, what are your plans for work?
01:22:11 Oh, I'm gonna wait tables
01:22:14 You still gonna do the writing?
01:22:16 - There are no jobs in New York, PhiI.
01:22:19 Well, I mean, you know, not right now...
01:22:22 ...but I think the newspaper business
01:22:27 Oh, yeah. No, that is a sensible gamble.
01:22:30 I can see Corinne's convinced.
01:22:33 She's onboard.
01:22:34 Well, you can always write just to write.
01:22:37 No one can stop you from doing that.
01:22:40 I'm not gonna not do what I do.
01:22:44 I just might take a while, you know.
01:22:46 I'm not gonna give it up.
01:22:48 Well, even if you did, you'd still be there
01:22:54 Exactly.
01:23:08 Hey.
01:23:10 I was looking for you.
01:23:12 How you doing?
01:23:14 I'm okay, how are you?
01:23:16 Good. You wanna take a little walk?
01:23:19 Sure.
01:23:21 Come on.
01:23:26 What are you doing out here?
01:23:28 Nothing.
01:23:40 What's going on?
01:23:42 You have to take the job.
01:23:43 No. No, I'm not gonna give up
01:23:47 No, no, no. Lookit, lookit.
01:23:50 You need to take the job.
01:23:52 You need to take the job.
01:23:55 This is about asking you to give up
01:24:00 I'm not gonna do it.
01:24:02 And if you moved to New York,
01:24:06 But you'd eventually resent me,
01:24:09 I can't. I won't.
01:24:12 What's gonna happen to us?
01:24:16 We can't see each other
01:24:18 That's not a relationship.
01:24:24 But I love you.
01:24:45 This is...
01:24:48 - Why don't we just sit down for a minute?
01:25:03 I really thought that we were something.
01:25:08 We were.
01:25:11 We were something.
01:25:50 He's here. No, I'm picking him up now.
01:25:54 - How you doing?
01:25:55 - What do you think, home or bar?
01:25:57 Bar. All right.
01:25:58 Yeah, I'm really disturbed...
01:26:00 ...because you would think that you would
01:26:03 But I don't see baby pigeons ever.
01:26:05 So, what do you want to do?
01:26:08 I mean, we can get you some harder liquor,
01:26:12 - No, this is good, buddy. Thanks, paI.
01:26:15 Drink a little Frangelico?
01:26:18 If you wanna dive off the deep end
01:26:22 ...listen to, like, the Garden State
01:26:26 - That probably wouldn't be the best thing.
01:26:30 I'm okay, buddy. Thanks. This is good.
01:26:32 - I want to hug you.
01:26:34 You need a hug, man. Come on, man.
01:26:38 Okay. Thanks.
01:26:41 Why are your eyes closed?
01:26:44 - Mine?
01:26:46 - Are yours not closed?
01:26:48 Oh.
01:26:50 Are your eyes-?
01:26:51 I just close my eyes when I hug.
01:26:54 No big deaI.
01:27:09 You playing?
01:27:11 - Yeah.
01:27:14 - I'm okay.
01:27:17 That's one hell of a high score.
01:27:20 Yeah. Gonna be reaI tough to beat.
01:27:43 Hey, Erin, congratulations
01:27:46 Thank you.
01:27:52 So keep an open mind. Okay, we are
01:27:57 I got a tip from Chuck at the Crime desk.
01:28:00 And it's a sublet...
01:28:02 ...and it's right in my price range,
01:28:06 Are you kidd-? Is this blood?
01:28:09 Did someone get bludgeoned in here?
01:28:11 I'm not really sure of the details.
01:28:14 Something about a narcotics bust
01:28:19 But let's be positive.
01:28:21 Yes. No, you're right. You're right.
01:28:24 I think it's an up-and-comer.
01:28:27 They got a Boston Market on the corner.
01:28:32 It smells like a skin infection in there.
01:28:34 Smells like freedom to me.
01:28:37 The happiest people I know
01:28:40 Grab it, Erin.
01:28:43 You'll be trapped and dead.
01:28:47 Are you kidding? It's a shit hole.
01:28:49 The reason your conversation
01:28:52 ...is because the walls are paper-thin,
01:28:54 Erin, you're not gonna
01:28:57 I actually like music that comes through
01:29:01 I'm gonna take this place.
01:29:03 And I so appreciate what you and PhiI
01:29:06 ...but it is time for me to move out.
01:29:08 I think you got a view
01:29:12 Erin, I know you love this place, but there's
01:29:17 Really?
01:29:20 Yeah.
01:29:22 - Let's go.
01:29:25 All right. You were right.
01:29:26 - PhiI. PhiI!
01:29:31 - Can we go to Boston Market?
01:29:35 Any way you want it
01:29:36 That's the way you need it
01:29:38 Ah. I look like such an idiot.
01:29:40 Trust me. It works.
01:29:41 But I'm not into
01:29:44 But you asked me for my help, all right?
01:29:46 You have a problem, I have a solution.
01:29:51 Yeah, good to go to an early bird speciaI
01:29:54 You haven't been out with a lady
01:29:56 So this is about getting back
01:29:59 Yeah. No, I know.
01:30:00 Now, sure, you're not gonna find yourself
01:30:04 ...but you might find a nice horse
01:30:08 You get to the bottom
01:30:10 ...drop her off and
01:30:12 That makes it worse.
01:30:13 Wooh! Sorry I'm running late, boys.
01:30:16 Three beers, yes?
01:30:18 Oh, no.
01:30:20 - What the fuck?
01:30:22 What? You're not Charlie Chaplin fans?
01:30:25 I love Charlie Chaplin.
01:30:27 I'm not a fan of the guy
01:30:29 Where are you going with this?
01:30:31 At no point during shaving
01:30:33 - "CooI it. I'm gonna look like Hitler"?
01:30:37 It's the plastered hair.
01:30:38 I knew you guys
01:30:40 I'm shaving it, and then... I get that
01:30:43 - Too far.
01:30:45 I started going back and forth,
01:30:48 If I stop now, and you can
01:30:52 If you don't like it,
01:30:54 - You are doing Hitler.
01:30:57 Pick a character and go-
01:30:58 - Hey, game faces. Hello.
01:31:01 - How you doing?
01:31:02 You guys didn't go to schooI with us.
01:31:05 We did not. No.
01:31:06 You have a very foxy eye for detaiI.
01:31:09 - Wanna dance?
01:31:13 - Time machine.
01:31:15 Maybe my friend Garrett here
01:31:17 I'm good. No. I'm good.
01:31:20 - Bye, gentlemen. Shall we?
01:31:22 Hold on, hold on
01:31:26 Oh, man, this is ridiculous.
01:31:28 I know it's ridiculous.
01:31:30 - You know you don't have to be here.
01:31:33 No. Well, yeah. No, not this though.
01:31:38 Look, Box and I, this is what we do.
01:31:42 So if you're worried about us,
01:31:45 But you, you don't need to be here.
01:31:47 Yeah. I know.
01:31:50 Okay, then.
01:31:52 - Okay.
01:31:54 These dudes don't look
01:31:56 Oh, boy.
01:32:01 Sorry.
01:32:24 Hello.
01:32:26 How was work?
01:32:28 - You know? Uh, it was awesome.
01:32:32 Oh, hey. You got a package today.
01:32:34 - Oh, yeah?
01:32:48 It's from Garrett.
01:32:55 Oh. What does it say?
01:32:59 "They're gonna be in San Francisco.
01:33:03 Who is?
01:33:07 The Boxer Rebellion.
01:33:09 That was one of the first bands
01:33:14 Are you gonna go?
01:33:17 That depends.
01:33:20 On whether or not you'll be my date.
01:33:22 I can get drunk there, right?
01:33:24 There's sort of
01:33:28 ...that I can't quite just put my finger on.
01:33:32 I don't know, but just push your way in.
01:33:34 It's urine. It's urine. I smell urine.
01:33:37 Oh, good. That means it's a good club.
01:33:39 And puke. Oh, yeah.
01:33:43 Well, that's even better.
01:34:00 - Sorry.
01:34:04 Hi.
01:34:07 Hi, Corinne.
01:34:08 - Hey, Garrett. I like your haircut.
01:34:11 And your dick's in your pants,
01:34:15 I'm gonna go check out the...
01:34:19 Oh, fuck it. I'm just not gonna be here.
01:34:22 You're gonna just-?
01:34:29 - Hi.
01:34:33 What are you doing here?
01:34:34 I manage the band.
01:34:36 - You do?
01:34:39 - Really?
01:34:41 That's- That's great.
01:34:45 - Really?
01:34:47 - Wow.
01:34:51 You were right, as it turns out.
01:34:55 Well, I hate to say "I told you so. "
01:34:58 No, you don't.
01:35:01 - You love it.
01:35:02 Who are you kidding?
01:35:07 So are you living in New York?
01:35:10 I actually just moved to Los Angeles.
01:35:13 - Really?
01:35:14 The band actually lives in L.A.
01:35:17 And, I don't know if you know this,
01:35:21 ...but L.A. is not only in the same
01:35:24 ...it's in the same state. So...
01:35:27 Yeah. It's very close.
01:35:30 Yeah. It's a one-hour flight.
01:35:33 A six-hour drive.
01:35:36 - Eighteen-hour hot-air balloon ride.
01:35:39 If you were to go that way.
01:35:44 Can I ask you a question?
01:35:47 Yeah.
01:35:50 I don't know what your situation is...
01:35:55 I miss you.
01:36:00 That's not a question.
01:36:04 Yeah, it is.
01:36:11 I'm always here
01:36:17 Waiting for you
01:36:25 Eyes of the night
01:36:31 Just to see
01:36:39 There's two of us
01:36:46 They follow
01:36:54 I can't believe she left
01:36:57 It's a schooI night
01:37:00 She didn't like-
01:37:03 How am I gonna win that crazy one over?
01:37:05 Now that we're spending more time
01:37:07 ...which I couldn't be happier about,
01:37:11 Just so we don't have to sneak around
01:37:14 Shh. But for tonight,
01:37:18 That's very mature.
01:37:22 Shh, shh, shh...
01:37:24 Wait, wait, wait.
01:37:32 C- Uh-
01:37:33 Are you guys-? Are you dry humping?
01:37:36 - No.
01:37:39 - But I didn't-
01:37:42 Mommy? Are you okay?
01:37:44 Maya, statue!!!