|
I Now Pronounce You Chuck Larry
|
| 00:00:25 |
RESYNCHRONiZATiON BY |
| 00:01:15 |
We're cleaning |
| 00:01:17 |
Pick him up. |
| 00:01:20 |
Yeah! |
| 00:01:22 |
Nice shot. |
| 00:01:23 |
Nice pass. Here we go. Ball. |
| 00:01:25 |
I got him. |
| 00:01:27 |
Don't let him shoot it! |
| 00:01:30 |
Come on, come on! |
| 00:01:32 |
Oh, yeah. Chuck, my man. |
| 00:01:36 |
Yeah, Tony! |
| 00:01:37 |
Tony, tag him. |
| 00:01:39 |
Good steal. |
| 00:01:40 |
Take the ball. Take the ball. |
| 00:01:41 |
Come on! |
| 00:01:42 |
Yeah! |
| 00:01:44 |
Come on, come on. Come on. |
| 00:01:47 |
Feel the power! |
| 00:01:48 |
Foul! Foul! |
| 00:01:50 |
That wasn't a foul. |
| 00:01:51 |
Chuck! |
| 00:01:52 |
Chuck! |
| 00:01:55 |
Chuck! Chuck! |
| 00:01:58 |
Hey, Darla, what's the matter with you? |
| 00:02:01 |
You slept with my twin sister on Saturday. |
| 00:02:04 |
How do you know |
| 00:02:06 |
'Cause I wasn't there. |
| 00:02:08 |
It sure looked like |
| 00:02:09 |
Oh, he's dead. |
| 00:02:11 |
Come on, let's figure this out together. |
| 00:02:14 |
Do me a favor. Say, "Oh, Chuck, |
| 00:02:17 |
Get out of here. |
| 00:02:18 |
No, I'm trying to do detective work here, |
| 00:02:21 |
I'm confused, too. |
| 00:02:23 |
Chuck, keep buttering my biscuit. |
| 00:02:28 |
You're right, that wasn't you. |
| 00:02:30 |
You are such a loser, Chuck! |
| 00:02:32 |
Let it go, Darla. |
| 00:02:33 |
Hey, look who's here. |
| 00:02:35 |
He has moved up |
| 00:02:37 |
He didn't even know |
| 00:02:40 |
That's a joke! |
| 00:02:41 |
He knew it wasn't you |
| 00:02:42 |
because you would never do |
| 00:02:45 |
Don't tell me I don't know |
| 00:02:46 |
You show up here in your... |
| 00:02:47 |
You shut your mouth, |
| 00:02:49 |
Whoa, whoa. |
| 00:02:51 |
Now, don't fight, you two. |
| 00:02:53 |
Give each other a kiss |
| 00:02:55 |
You're the only sisters you got. |
| 00:02:58 |
You dare us to? |
| 00:02:59 |
Unless that's too freaky |
| 00:03:02 |
You'd be surprised |
| 00:03:07 |
I'm sorry, |
| 00:03:10 |
Come forward. That's right. |
| 00:03:18 |
Saved by the bell, girls. |
| 00:03:20 |
Hear the bell, gentlemen? |
| 00:03:23 |
Somewhere something is burning! |
| 00:03:31 |
What we got? |
| 00:03:32 |
Both companies, first due, |
| 00:03:35 |
Larry, Larry, let's go. |
| 00:03:38 |
Shut up. |
| 00:03:40 |
Fat-ass! |
| 00:03:45 |
Chuck, you said you were gonna |
| 00:03:48 |
I will. I just gotta go |
| 00:03:50 |
I'll call you! |
| 00:03:52 |
No, I'm gonna call him! |
| 00:03:59 |
Hey, who's this guy? |
| 00:04:01 |
He's a transfer |
| 00:04:04 |
They say he put his captain |
| 00:04:06 |
For what? |
| 00:04:08 |
Don't know. |
| 00:04:09 |
And my advice, |
| 00:04:12 |
Hey, you. |
| 00:04:14 |
My friend Karl here says |
| 00:04:19 |
See, you're wrong, Karl. |
| 00:04:22 |
He lives at 845 Rutland Road, |
| 00:04:40 |
Four floors fully involved. |
| 00:04:42 |
Be nice to have |
| 00:04:44 |
Going in alive. |
| 00:04:45 |
Coming out the same way. |
| 00:04:47 |
Help me! |
| 00:04:49 |
Please! My son is up there! |
| 00:04:52 |
My baby! |
| 00:04:53 |
All right, all right, |
| 00:04:54 |
Bernie! |
| 00:04:55 |
My baby Bernie! Please! |
| 00:04:57 |
Please! |
| 00:04:59 |
Chuck, you got the keys. |
| 00:05:01 |
All right. |
| 00:05:04 |
Thing's a pain in my ass. |
| 00:05:08 |
It's open. |
| 00:05:10 |
Show off. |
| 00:05:14 |
Bernie! Bernie! |
| 00:05:16 |
I'm up here! |
| 00:05:18 |
Hang in there, little man! |
| 00:05:19 |
Hurry! |
| 00:05:20 |
Up the stairs. |
| 00:05:22 |
Let me hear that voice! |
| 00:05:23 |
I'm up here in my room! |
| 00:05:24 |
All right, try and stay calm. |
| 00:05:32 |
Where you at, buddy? |
| 00:05:34 |
Let's hear that voice! |
| 00:05:36 |
I'm over here! |
| 00:05:42 |
All right, let's find a new way in. |
| 00:05:48 |
Help me. |
| 00:05:51 |
Yes! |
| 00:05:53 |
All right, all right. |
| 00:05:55 |
Oh, thank God! |
| 00:05:57 |
Holy Shamu. |
| 00:05:59 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:06:01 |
There's a bed under there? |
| 00:06:03 |
Can you walk at all? |
| 00:06:05 |
I haven't walked |
| 00:06:07 |
All right, maybe if we strap a rocket ship |
| 00:06:10 |
No, no, we can do this. People lift cars. |
| 00:06:13 |
Well, cars. |
| 00:06:15 |
Hey, buddy, we're gonna help you |
| 00:06:17 |
How's my mom? |
| 00:06:18 |
If she survived the birthing process, |
| 00:06:21 |
So, what, just grab a side, |
| 00:06:23 |
Get a side there. |
| 00:06:24 |
What are we gonna do here? |
| 00:06:25 |
Come on. Come on! |
| 00:06:27 |
I know, let me chop him up. |
| 00:06:29 |
What? |
| 00:06:30 |
We gotta hurry up here. Let's |
| 00:06:32 |
Just grab the back of our coats. |
| 00:06:33 |
Turn around, Chuck. Grab |
| 00:06:35 |
Hey, hey, did you start this fire |
| 00:06:37 |
That's funny. |
| 00:06:38 |
Hold on to our coats. |
| 00:06:40 |
Go! |
| 00:06:47 |
Go! |
| 00:06:54 |
I'm running, Mama! |
| 00:06:56 |
I'm running like the wind! |
| 00:06:57 |
Slow down! Slow down! |
| 00:07:06 |
Mama! |
| 00:07:19 |
Chuck! Chuck, |
| 00:07:26 |
Thank God. |
| 00:07:36 |
Oh, my God! Oh, sweet Lord. |
| 00:07:42 |
They saved me, those two. |
| 00:07:45 |
I like you. I love you! |
| 00:07:47 |
Oh, get me a hero! |
| 00:07:50 |
Oh, get me out of here! |
| 00:07:52 |
So, how are the kids doing? |
| 00:07:53 |
Oh, Tori, she's great, man. |
| 00:07:55 |
She's playing soccer, |
| 00:07:58 |
It's awesome. |
| 00:08:00 |
Is he starting |
| 00:08:02 |
Yeah. I don't think |
| 00:08:05 |
Why not? |
| 00:08:07 |
May, me, my, mo, mo |
| 00:08:12 |
Okay, Eric? That's enough. |
| 00:08:14 |
Sit down |
| 00:08:15 |
Okay. |
| 00:08:17 |
Dad, you smell like smoke. |
| 00:08:20 |
I wasn't roasting |
| 00:08:22 |
That's so cool. |
| 00:08:27 |
Could you help me out, Teresa, |
| 00:08:28 |
and just grab that spaghetti sauce |
| 00:08:30 |
No. I have sub-train. |
| 00:08:32 |
Would you please? |
| 00:08:33 |
I just need a hand. |
| 00:08:35 |
Is last train for 15 minutes. |
| 00:08:39 |
All right, you can go. |
| 00:08:44 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:08:53 |
There we are, Bolognese. |
| 00:08:56 |
Looks more like bowl of shit. |
| 00:08:58 |
Yeah, thanks for all your help, Teresa. |
| 00:09:01 |
Okay, guys, so what is new? |
| 00:09:05 |
I'm auditioning |
| 00:09:09 |
You... You like that, huh? |
| 00:09:13 |
Yeah, I love it. |
| 00:09:16 |
That's what you said |
| 00:09:18 |
You're just jealous |
| 00:09:26 |
Isn't that supposed |
| 00:09:28 |
Yes. |
| 00:09:29 |
You, don't talk like that. |
| 00:09:30 |
You, get back in your chair |
| 00:09:33 |
...guy really wants to take the ball every day, |
| 00:09:36 |
and going right back |
| 00:09:37 |
And hits one |
| 00:09:39 |
Dunn back, |
| 00:09:42 |
And the Mets now have |
| 00:09:45 |
Oh, boy. |
| 00:09:48 |
Brownies are ready. |
| 00:09:49 |
Would you stop using |
| 00:09:51 |
But I like to bake. |
| 00:09:53 |
Guys, would you settle? |
| 00:09:54 |
Eric, why don't you watch |
| 00:09:55 |
Welcome to the Municipal Employee |
| 00:09:58 |
Please tell me your name. |
| 00:09:59 |
Larry Valentine. |
| 00:10:01 |
I'm sorry, |
| 00:10:04 |
Larry Valentine. |
| 00:10:07 |
You said, "Barry Schmalenpime. " |
| 00:10:10 |
Schmalenpime? |
| 00:10:12 |
You said, "Schmalenpime. " |
| 00:10:14 |
I was enunciating. |
| 00:10:16 |
You said, "I was enunciating. " |
| 00:10:18 |
Whoo! |
| 00:10:19 |
You said, "Whoo!" |
| 00:10:22 |
Dad, you have to try my brownies. |
| 00:10:27 |
Enough with the splits! |
| 00:10:33 |
Then it took 45 minutes |
| 00:10:37 |
And then it starts asking me |
| 00:10:40 |
Look, all I'm trying to do is change |
| 00:10:44 |
Okay, you would have to file |
| 00:10:48 |
Great. Let's do it. |
| 00:10:50 |
That's gonna take a while. |
| 00:10:52 |
Look, lady, I don't have a while, |
| 00:10:53 |
I'm a fireman. |
| 00:10:56 |
I guess if that happened, |
| 00:11:00 |
Are you trying |
| 00:11:01 |
Sort of. |
| 00:11:04 |
Anyhooser, beneficiaries can only be |
| 00:11:07 |
Births, deaths and marriages. |
| 00:11:09 |
According to our records, we did |
| 00:11:12 |
You had a year. |
| 00:11:16 |
Like a crazy person, |
| 00:11:20 |
Off the record. |
| 00:11:22 |
I could suggest something |
| 00:11:24 |
and perhaps more fulfilling |
| 00:11:27 |
That would be great. |
| 00:11:29 |
Should you remarry, |
| 00:11:31 |
your new wife at that time |
| 00:11:35 |
So if there's somebody special |
| 00:11:37 |
I mean, who knows, |
| 00:11:41 |
and you are ready |
| 00:11:45 |
maybe now's the time. |
| 00:11:51 |
Let's go crazy. |
| 00:12:10 |
Look how pretty she is. |
| 00:12:12 |
Going in alive. |
| 00:12:14 |
All right, baby. |
| 00:12:15 |
Come on, bud. |
| 00:12:20 |
Levine, Valentine, |
| 00:12:23 |
so I can get home to my wife |
| 00:12:25 |
Yeah. Absolutely. |
| 00:12:31 |
So he's auditioning |
| 00:12:33 |
Yeah, Pippin. |
| 00:12:34 |
Pippen? That ain't so bad. |
| 00:12:37 |
I don't know. |
| 00:12:40 |
Hey, Sinatra sang a lot. |
| 00:12:41 |
Yeah, that's true. |
| 00:12:43 |
Better than dancing. |
| 00:12:44 |
Yeah, it's just when I was his age, |
| 00:12:47 |
Maybe they'll make skipping |
| 00:12:50 |
Come on, man, |
| 00:12:52 |
Baton swallowing. |
| 00:12:54 |
Yeah. You're an idiot. |
| 00:12:56 |
I'm just busting your balls. |
| 00:12:57 |
Ladder 223, roof. |
| 00:13:00 |
Going upstairs. |
| 00:13:02 |
At least the whole pension thing's |
| 00:13:04 |
Yeah. Hey, you know what? |
| 00:13:06 |
I'll stick this pole up your ass, |
| 00:13:09 |
You talking to me |
| 00:13:10 |
Get down here now! |
| 00:13:13 |
I will destroy you! |
| 00:13:19 |
Hey, Larry, good news. |
| 00:13:23 |
Cool, man. |
| 00:13:24 |
You what? |
| 00:13:25 |
All right, I'll give you 1,000 bucks |
| 00:13:28 |
For 1,000 bucks, I'll start at the ass |
| 00:13:31 |
This I gotta see, baby. |
| 00:13:32 |
Come on. |
| 00:13:33 |
Nothing but net. |
| 00:13:35 |
Here you go, buddy. |
| 00:13:37 |
Chuck! |
| 00:13:39 |
Larry! |
| 00:13:41 |
Mayday! Mayday! |
| 00:13:45 |
Holy shit! |
| 00:13:47 |
We'll have to do that |
| 00:13:50 |
That's all right, buddy. |
| 00:13:54 |
This thing's gonna break, man. |
| 00:13:57 |
No! Hey, man, we came in alive, |
| 00:14:01 |
No! No! |
| 00:14:03 |
I got you! |
| 00:14:06 |
We got them over here! |
| 00:14:09 |
Chuck! Come on, man. |
| 00:14:11 |
Heads up! |
| 00:14:15 |
Urgent! Urgent! |
| 00:14:24 |
Mr. Levine? |
| 00:14:27 |
Mr. Levine? |
| 00:14:30 |
Do you know where you are? |
| 00:14:32 |
Am I in a Mötley Crüe video? |
| 00:14:37 |
Honey, how's my buddy doing? |
| 00:14:39 |
Honey? |
| 00:14:43 |
We're expecting |
| 00:14:45 |
And, Mr. Levine, |
| 00:14:48 |
Dr. Honey. |
| 00:14:53 |
Chuck. What's going on, man? |
| 00:14:57 |
Brace yourself, Larry. |
| 00:14:59 |
What I'm gonna tell you |
| 00:15:02 |
They removed your entire body. |
| 00:15:07 |
You're nothing but a head now. |
| 00:15:10 |
What? |
| 00:15:11 |
They said that there was enough fat |
| 00:15:15 |
so they got scientists in the other room |
| 00:15:17 |
God willing, |
| 00:15:19 |
You know, you're such a dick. |
| 00:15:21 |
What's going on is |
| 00:15:24 |
I would've died |
| 00:15:26 |
Would you stop being |
| 00:15:28 |
No. I owe you. |
| 00:15:31 |
Whatever you want, |
| 00:15:33 |
Whatever, whenever. |
| 00:15:35 |
Whatever? |
| 00:15:37 |
I'll take that rat. |
| 00:15:38 |
You want to find that rat for me? |
| 00:15:40 |
Hi, Dad. |
| 00:15:42 |
Tori. Hey, guys, come on in. |
| 00:15:44 |
They called me out of class, |
| 00:15:45 |
and nobody would tell me for, like, |
| 00:15:49 |
Did you die? |
| 00:15:50 |
Oh, no, Daddy's fine, buddy. |
| 00:15:52 |
I could go home right now |
| 00:15:54 |
I'm only staying here because your |
| 00:15:58 |
It's true, Eric. If he don't sleep with me, |
| 00:16:01 |
And you never know with Dr. Honey |
| 00:16:05 |
What are you, six years old? |
| 00:16:06 |
Hey, where you going? Come here. |
| 00:16:09 |
I'll split a Vicodin with you. |
| 00:16:12 |
Come on. |
| 00:16:13 |
Dr. Honey. |
| 00:16:15 |
Sweetie, what's the matter? |
| 00:16:18 |
This is the same hospital. |
| 00:16:28 |
I'm not gonna leave you. |
| 00:16:31 |
I'm never gonna leave you. |
| 00:16:37 |
I'm quitting |
| 00:16:38 |
Get out of here, man. |
| 00:16:40 |
No, Renaldo's cousin's got |
| 00:16:43 |
You want to sell cars? |
| 00:16:45 |
I don't want to. |
| 00:16:47 |
Every time I run into a fire, |
| 00:16:49 |
I'm all my kids got left. |
| 00:16:54 |
Just don't wanna |
| 00:16:56 |
Your father was a fireman. |
| 00:16:58 |
You are a fireman, man. |
| 00:17:00 |
One of the best Brooklyn's ever seen. |
| 00:17:04 |
I don't think I have |
| 00:17:06 |
We'll come up with something, |
| 00:17:08 |
Come on, I promise you. |
| 00:17:10 |
Oh, poor Charlie. |
| 00:17:11 |
Hey, there are my girls. |
| 00:17:12 |
How are you? How you |
| 00:17:14 |
How are you feeling? |
| 00:17:16 |
My leg. |
| 00:17:17 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:17:18 |
I need some help out of here. |
| 00:17:21 |
Let's get in here. |
| 00:17:22 |
Hey, who wants to massage |
| 00:17:24 |
Me! |
| 00:17:54 |
Larry. |
| 00:17:55 |
What time is it? |
| 00:17:57 |
I saved your life, and you said you owed me. |
| 00:18:00 |
Yeah, you saved my life. |
| 00:18:01 |
Then you got me out of bed |
| 00:18:03 |
We're even. That's great. |
| 00:18:04 |
Hey, look, I'm just gonna |
| 00:18:05 |
and it's gonna sound |
| 00:18:07 |
You're getting a breast |
| 00:18:09 |
No, look, I figured out |
| 00:18:11 |
and I don't have to |
| 00:18:12 |
Great. How? |
| 00:18:14 |
What we're gonna do is |
| 00:18:15 |
so that you inherit |
| 00:18:17 |
That way you'll be the one |
| 00:18:19 |
Absolutely. That's a great idea. |
| 00:18:22 |
Yeah. Domestic partnership. |
| 00:18:26 |
Domestic partnership. |
| 00:18:28 |
You mean like faggots? |
| 00:18:30 |
I mean, yeah, |
| 00:18:32 |
No, no, not, you know... |
| 00:18:35 |
Paper faggots? |
| 00:18:36 |
Okay, look, |
| 00:18:40 |
I'm gonna get |
| 00:18:42 |
All right. |
| 00:18:49 |
Right. |
| 00:18:55 |
I'm gonna have to pass. |
| 00:18:57 |
You can't! |
| 00:18:58 |
Why don't you pay some chick to marry you |
| 00:19:01 |
Some chick? Like who? |
| 00:19:03 |
I know plenty of chicks |
| 00:19:05 |
What do you want? A blonde? |
| 00:19:06 |
I'll get you a heavy girl. |
| 00:19:09 |
Hey, it doesn't matter. |
| 00:19:11 |
Look, man, |
| 00:19:14 |
Hey, you know who you could trust? |
| 00:19:16 |
She steals! |
| 00:19:18 |
She steals? |
| 00:19:20 |
I'm afraid. I think she's into voodoo. |
| 00:19:22 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:19:23 |
I can keep doing what I do |
| 00:19:27 |
Larry, look at us. |
| 00:19:30 |
But if we were gay, |
| 00:19:31 |
I'd be with someone |
| 00:19:33 |
I'm Mr. February, |
| 00:19:35 |
It would be like the prom king |
| 00:19:40 |
Oh, great, I play tuba. |
| 00:19:41 |
Larry, I love you, |
| 00:19:43 |
but I'm not in love with you, |
| 00:19:45 |
I still wanna be friends. |
| 00:19:47 |
All right, do me a favor. |
| 00:19:49 |
You're at my funeral |
| 00:19:51 |
and you're looking for my kids, |
| 00:19:53 |
'Cause they're in some factory |
| 00:19:55 |
making sneakers |
| 00:19:59 |
And you go home to nail some chick |
| 00:20:02 |
And you look up, |
| 00:20:06 |
are my kids. |
| 00:20:08 |
They're just tapping |
| 00:20:10 |
And they have tears |
| 00:20:14 |
You think of that |
| 00:20:20 |
How are they tapping on my window |
| 00:20:23 |
Oh, my God. You're... |
| 00:20:25 |
Yeah, I'm serious. |
| 00:20:27 |
Thirsty. Do you have |
| 00:20:30 |
Yeah, there's Gatorade |
| 00:20:32 |
The girls are here. |
| 00:20:36 |
Oh, they're thirsty. |
| 00:20:38 |
Larry, Larry, watch this. |
| 00:20:39 |
Hey, girls, |
| 00:20:44 |
I can't be gay, Larry. |
| 00:20:46 |
I could be a lesbian for you, |
| 00:20:48 |
I am so lonely in here. |
| 00:20:53 |
Dr. Honey! Dr. Honey. |
| 00:20:55 |
Yeah, I do. |
| 00:20:57 |
How are you feeling, |
| 00:20:59 |
It's still stiff |
| 00:21:01 |
That's normal. |
| 00:21:02 |
Hey, who untied you? |
| 00:21:06 |
What? What? |
| 00:21:09 |
Specific orders, girls. |
| 00:21:11 |
Now I'm gonna go |
| 00:21:14 |
Here, use the cane. |
| 00:21:17 |
Whap them, whap them! |
| 00:21:19 |
You... You're just |
| 00:21:20 |
I'm not an animal. |
| 00:21:23 |
You don't want to marry the town whore. |
| 00:21:26 |
What I'm talking about is no more involved |
| 00:21:30 |
How do we know no one's |
| 00:21:32 |
Because privacy laws |
| 00:21:35 |
Look, all we gotta do is just forward |
| 00:21:38 |
That's it. |
| 00:21:39 |
Oh, I don't know. |
| 00:21:41 |
I saved your life, bitch. |
| 00:21:45 |
Partners? |
| 00:21:48 |
Partners. |
| 00:21:49 |
Shake on it? |
| 00:21:51 |
You should've |
| 00:22:11 |
You're partners now, fellas. |
| 00:22:21 |
Teresa brought in the mail. |
| 00:22:23 |
That's a first. Me. |
| 00:22:25 |
Chuck. That's me. |
| 00:22:30 |
Chuck. |
| 00:22:33 |
Chuck. |
| 00:22:35 |
Chuck. |
| 00:22:36 |
What the hell? |
| 00:22:39 |
Chuck. |
| 00:22:41 |
Chuck. |
| 00:22:43 |
You gotta be kidding me. |
| 00:22:46 |
Is that doll for me? |
| 00:22:49 |
No, no, no, sweetheart. |
| 00:22:51 |
It's a... It's a training doll. |
| 00:22:53 |
They're testing us again, |
| 00:22:56 |
You remember Daddy |
| 00:22:57 |
You make sure the passageway |
| 00:23:00 |
To see if they're breathing. |
| 00:23:02 |
Sweetheart, go to your room, please. |
| 00:23:04 |
It's for me. She's fine. |
| 00:23:07 |
Whoa. |
| 00:23:11 |
Fire under control. |
| 00:23:14 |
Great to have you back, Larry. |
| 00:23:16 |
Great to be back, Captain. |
| 00:23:18 |
Captain! Found out what started the fire, |
| 00:23:23 |
Hey, brother, that's my weed. |
| 00:23:26 |
You want this back? |
| 00:23:28 |
I can't give you it back. But you know what? |
| 00:23:35 |
Whoa, man! |
| 00:23:38 |
Do that again. |
| 00:23:40 |
He likes it. |
| 00:23:43 |
All right, enjoy it. |
| 00:23:45 |
Hey, man. Looks like |
| 00:23:58 |
Mr. Valentine? |
| 00:23:59 |
Yeah. |
| 00:24:00 |
Hi. I'm Glen Aldrich |
| 00:24:03 |
I'd like to talk to you about |
| 00:24:12 |
Hey. |
| 00:24:14 |
Are you okay? |
| 00:24:15 |
That's how I always get down, |
| 00:24:20 |
Is your partner home? |
| 00:24:23 |
No, he... |
| 00:24:25 |
How did you... |
| 00:24:27 |
It's standard procedure. |
| 00:24:29 |
You see, when a previously |
| 00:24:31 |
to a domestic partnership filing |
| 00:24:34 |
there's an information sharing system |
| 00:24:37 |
to make sure |
| 00:24:38 |
Why do you ask? |
| 00:24:41 |
Secret? What, are you kidding me? |
| 00:24:43 |
No, we're telling everybody. |
| 00:24:45 |
Telling everybody what? |
| 00:24:46 |
Hey, butt out, Ron. |
| 00:24:48 |
Come over here. |
| 00:24:51 |
I hope you don't think we have any reason |
| 00:24:54 |
but the sad truth is some people |
| 00:24:57 |
as a cover to reap |
| 00:25:00 |
Wow. |
| 00:25:02 |
Who's that? |
| 00:25:03 |
That's Paula. |
| 00:25:06 |
So you haven't |
| 00:25:08 |
No. I'm newly gay. |
| 00:25:13 |
When... When she died, |
| 00:25:16 |
who'd make me as happy, |
| 00:25:19 |
and that's when I boarded |
| 00:25:22 |
Will you excuse me one second? |
| 00:25:24 |
Sure. |
| 00:25:26 |
Hey, homo, you see the moon balloons |
| 00:25:28 |
They're a jiggle away |
| 00:25:31 |
Oh, Chuck, don't tell me |
| 00:25:34 |
What key? |
| 00:25:35 |
Baby! How about a free show? |
| 00:25:39 |
Oh, you mean Ron, the mailman. |
| 00:25:42 |
Love the moon balloons. |
| 00:25:45 |
Hey, Chuck, |
| 00:25:48 |
This is Glen Aldrich from the Penis... |
| 00:25:52 |
Our Pension Department. |
| 00:25:55 |
Hi. |
| 00:25:56 |
Oh, hey. |
| 00:25:59 |
He... He knows about our partnership, |
| 00:26:03 |
making sure we're not running |
| 00:26:07 |
People do that? |
| 00:26:10 |
Yeah. |
| 00:26:11 |
It just makes me so sad |
| 00:26:13 |
and gay to think |
| 00:26:16 |
Yeah. |
| 00:26:17 |
Yeah. |
| 00:26:19 |
I just want to go to my room right now |
| 00:26:23 |
Calm down. |
| 00:26:24 |
So you've moved your relationship |
| 00:26:28 |
Oh, great. We've just been having sex |
| 00:26:33 |
Loads of sex. |
| 00:26:34 |
Gay crazy sex. |
| 00:26:36 |
Man on man. |
| 00:26:38 |
Yeah, balls and wieners all the way. |
| 00:26:41 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:26:42 |
Well, I won't take up |
| 00:26:45 |
Bring the funk. |
| 00:26:47 |
Okay, thank you. |
| 00:26:49 |
So that's it? |
| 00:26:50 |
You don't... You don't have |
| 00:26:53 |
Oh, no. No, that's not really |
| 00:26:56 |
You see, if my report says I thought |
| 00:26:59 |
then the department assigns |
| 00:27:02 |
and he or she'll just drop in |
| 00:27:04 |
unannounced over the next three |
| 00:27:06 |
No big deal. |
| 00:27:08 |
Let me... Just asking |
| 00:27:10 |
that was out of the ordinary or... |
| 00:27:13 |
Oh, I can't tell you that. |
| 00:27:16 |
Oh, we will. |
| 00:27:20 |
Nice seeing you. |
| 00:27:22 |
Nice seeing you. |
| 00:27:23 |
We love your pants, |
| 00:27:24 |
We do. |
| 00:27:26 |
I think they are. |
| 00:27:27 |
Snazzy! |
| 00:27:29 |
Yeah, no one's gonna |
| 00:27:31 |
Well... Yes! |
| 00:27:33 |
He likes it rough. |
| 00:27:35 |
Bye-bye. |
| 00:27:36 |
Bye-bye now. Take care. Okay. |
| 00:27:37 |
You made a promise to me. |
| 00:27:38 |
All right, we're gonna |
| 00:27:39 |
Okay. We are. |
| 00:27:41 |
Sex now. |
| 00:27:42 |
Whoo! |
| 00:27:45 |
Why are we even seeing |
| 00:27:47 |
I just want to find out |
| 00:27:49 |
Maybe it's, you know, |
| 00:27:51 |
This guy'll be able |
| 00:27:54 |
Here, just give me your hand. |
| 00:27:56 |
Maybe we should |
| 00:27:58 |
You mean to look... |
| 00:27:59 |
Yeah, just a little bit like, you know. |
| 00:28:01 |
Yeah, that's good. |
| 00:28:02 |
Does this work, too? |
| 00:28:41 |
Alex McDonough. |
| 00:28:44 |
Nice to meet you. |
| 00:28:52 |
Nice to meet you. |
| 00:28:53 |
Yeah, meet to nice you. |
| 00:28:55 |
What was that, Japanese? |
| 00:28:57 |
What? What are you |
| 00:28:58 |
Meet to nice you. |
| 00:29:00 |
No, no, no, I didn't do that. |
| 00:29:01 |
You did. He did say it. |
| 00:29:03 |
You did. |
| 00:29:04 |
Okay. |
| 00:29:06 |
Okay, just come on in. |
| 00:29:07 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. |
| 00:29:11 |
So my assistant says |
| 00:29:14 |
is being challenged |
| 00:29:16 |
Well, not exactly challenged yet, |
| 00:29:20 |
Home visit? |
| 00:29:22 |
You're being targeted. |
| 00:29:23 |
Targeted? |
| 00:29:24 |
It's like an audit. |
| 00:29:27 |
It was a Glen somebody. |
| 00:29:29 |
Probably the initial interviewer. |
| 00:29:31 |
But if you get a follow-up from |
| 00:29:35 |
then we've got real trouble. |
| 00:29:36 |
Yeah, the city's really been cracking down |
| 00:29:40 |
What's that? |
| 00:29:41 |
Well, in Colorado, a heterosexual |
| 00:29:46 |
so the friend could be covered |
| 00:29:50 |
The state found out about it, |
| 00:29:52 |
fired Bensley and prosecuted them both |
| 00:29:54 |
Really? |
| 00:29:56 |
I mean, these people needed |
| 00:29:59 |
I mean, gays and lesbians have not |
| 00:30:02 |
to be made a mockery of. |
| 00:30:04 |
But you guys have |
| 00:30:05 |
because you're |
| 00:30:08 |
Oh, yeah, we're... |
| 00:30:12 |
I used to wrestle in high school, |
| 00:30:16 |
Okay. |
| 00:30:18 |
Curiosity kicking up again. |
| 00:30:21 |
What exactly did they get, |
| 00:30:25 |
Well, Bensley got five years |
| 00:30:30 |
And a coworker of Bensley's |
| 00:30:33 |
Why? What did he do? |
| 00:30:34 |
Well, Bensley told him what was going on |
| 00:30:38 |
so he was convicted of obstructing justice |
| 00:30:44 |
Pretty rough, huh? |
| 00:30:46 |
When I used to climb the rope in gym class, |
| 00:30:53 |
Well, there is a secret weapon |
| 00:30:55 |
that really might help get these guys |
| 00:30:58 |
Oh, good. Oh, great. |
| 00:30:59 |
Yeah, we do them |
| 00:31:02 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:31:04 |
Nobody tells. |
| 00:31:05 |
That was a key he was throwing away, |
| 00:31:08 |
Leave a trail. |
| 00:31:09 |
You know, |
| 00:31:11 |
for genuinely demonstrating |
| 00:31:13 |
is to take a quick drive |
| 00:31:16 |
and legitimize |
| 00:31:18 |
Legitimize? |
| 00:31:19 |
Get married. |
| 00:31:21 |
Marry Larry? |
| 00:31:34 |
All right, |
| 00:31:36 |
What do we got here? |
| 00:31:39 |
I Do, I Do Love Clay Aiken. |
| 00:31:41 |
Great Rear Endings. |
| 00:31:44 |
Till Dicks Do Us Part. |
| 00:31:46 |
Where are we gonna do this, |
| 00:31:48 |
What's the matter? |
| 00:31:50 |
No, no. It's just Paula always |
| 00:31:54 |
and I never got the chance to take her, |
| 00:31:56 |
You were great to her. |
| 00:32:00 |
Just, just... |
| 00:32:02 |
She would want you to move on |
| 00:32:04 |
find somebody new, |
| 00:32:06 |
You know what? |
| 00:32:09 |
And I'm marrying him today. |
| 00:32:10 |
Oh, yeah. What a lucky girl. |
| 00:32:13 |
Queers. |
| 00:32:14 |
What was that? |
| 00:32:16 |
I said tears. |
| 00:32:18 |
Your love for each other |
| 00:32:21 |
That's what I thought you |
| 00:32:22 |
Better watch what you say, |
| 00:32:23 |
Why don't you |
| 00:32:24 |
Doug Henning. |
| 00:32:26 |
You want a Brooklyn beating, |
| 00:32:28 |
You want to get him nuts? |
| 00:32:29 |
Then shut your mouth. |
| 00:32:34 |
Faggots. |
| 00:32:35 |
All right, that's it, my man. |
| 00:32:37 |
Grab the wheel. Grab |
| 00:32:38 |
Hey, I'm sorry! |
| 00:32:40 |
Hold him down, and I will... |
| 00:32:41 |
Come and drive now, moron! |
| 00:32:43 |
I'm sorry! |
| 00:32:44 |
Yeah! Yeah! |
| 00:32:48 |
Get him! Hold him down! |
| 00:33:02 |
Suki! Stupid cow. Sorry. |
| 00:33:05 |
Hey, may I help you? |
| 00:33:07 |
Yes, we're... We're... |
| 00:33:10 |
Gay? |
| 00:33:11 |
Yeah, we're marrying |
| 00:33:14 |
Gay. Civil or religious? |
| 00:33:17 |
Religious. |
| 00:33:19 |
I'm Jewish. |
| 00:33:20 |
I'm Catholic. |
| 00:33:23 |
Come on. |
| 00:33:25 |
Religious is more expensive. |
| 00:33:28 |
Look, you know what? |
| 00:33:30 |
Will you at least wear a |
| 00:33:32 |
It's important. |
| 00:33:33 |
Yeah, I will. |
| 00:33:34 |
We want a traditional wedding, too, |
| 00:33:40 |
Evidence for our future children, |
| 00:33:43 |
so they can see |
| 00:33:45 |
Yeah. |
| 00:33:46 |
That's nice. |
| 00:33:48 |
I think Chubb Rock needs a dress. |
| 00:33:50 |
That's okay. No, I'm fine. No. |
| 00:33:51 |
Okay. What size? |
| 00:33:55 |
No, no. That's... |
| 00:33:56 |
You know what I'm gonna do? |
| 00:33:59 |
I saw her wear one |
| 00:34:01 |
At least have garter belts |
| 00:34:02 |
Okay. |
| 00:34:04 |
You will need to have a witness. |
| 00:34:08 |
Hundred doll hairs? |
| 00:34:11 |
Come again? |
| 00:34:12 |
Do dolls come |
| 00:34:14 |
Doll hairs, like dollars. |
| 00:34:15 |
Doll hairs? |
| 00:34:18 |
Yeah. Yeah, he likes that. |
| 00:34:23 |
I had never heard that one. |
| 00:34:27 |
Okay, sorry, sorry. |
| 00:34:30 |
Yeah, go ahead. |
| 00:34:32 |
We'll... We'll get our own witness, |
| 00:34:35 |
Yeah. |
| 00:34:36 |
Will you be needing a room? |
| 00:34:38 |
What? |
| 00:34:39 |
For romantic time together. |
| 00:34:45 |
Whoa, whoa. No, no, |
| 00:34:47 |
We'll take two looms, |
| 00:34:49 |
Yeah. We're old-fashioned. |
| 00:34:52 |
That's very nice. |
| 00:34:55 |
I will give you key |
| 00:34:58 |
That's okay. |
| 00:35:00 |
But I'll give you key. |
| 00:35:02 |
Okay. |
| 00:35:03 |
Do you have the rings? |
| 00:35:04 |
Yeah. |
| 00:35:06 |
Now, the rings are |
| 00:35:09 |
because in a ring there's no beginning, |
| 00:35:15 |
'cause it's a circle. |
| 00:35:16 |
That's kind of nice. |
| 00:35:17 |
It's not like a triangle. |
| 00:35:19 |
Triangle has, |
| 00:35:21 |
This one is a circle. |
| 00:35:23 |
Okay, we get it. |
| 00:35:24 |
Three corners. |
| 00:35:26 |
Please exchange the rings. |
| 00:35:27 |
Larry, take that. |
| 00:35:30 |
Thanks. |
| 00:35:31 |
Is a promise of your love |
| 00:35:34 |
Okay. |
| 00:35:35 |
...for all eternity. |
| 00:35:36 |
Because it's a circle. |
| 00:35:38 |
Yes, we're familiar with shapes. |
| 00:35:42 |
I now pronounce you |
| 00:35:45 |
You may kiss the husband. |
| 00:35:57 |
I don't know. |
| 00:36:00 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:36:02 |
Kiss the husband. |
| 00:36:03 |
Yeah, we heard you. |
| 00:36:06 |
Oh, come on. Let's just... |
| 00:36:08 |
He's gonna take a picture, |
| 00:36:11 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:36:12 |
Oh! |
| 00:36:16 |
That's how we roll |
| 00:36:18 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:36:25 |
Do you do me? |
| 00:36:28 |
Oh, you couldn't handle it, |
| 00:36:32 |
Yeah. |
| 00:36:34 |
I think your witness |
| 00:36:45 |
The wires are all in place, |
| 00:36:52 |
The Chinese government |
| 00:36:55 |
And Elizabeth Taylor is Bigfoot. |
| 00:37:01 |
Turn off my brain. |
| 00:37:03 |
Hear, hear! |
| 00:37:07 |
There's a microphone |
| 00:37:13 |
They moved it. |
| 00:37:15 |
Yeah. |
| 00:37:16 |
He smell like |
| 00:37:25 |
Oh, yeah! Very Jewish! |
| 00:37:41 |
I've been hit! |
| 00:37:42 |
How you doing? |
| 00:37:45 |
He broke his leg. |
| 00:37:48 |
Hey, how come your maid |
| 00:37:50 |
She's working on something else, |
| 00:37:54 |
Yeah, right. |
| 00:37:55 |
How you doing there, |
| 00:37:58 |
$800. $800, Bob Barker! |
| 00:38:01 |
...retail price |
| 00:38:03 |
She's working hard |
| 00:38:05 |
She doesn't like when you talk |
| 00:38:07 |
$750? Oh, my balls, |
| 00:38:10 |
Hey, Big Ragoo, |
| 00:38:13 |
Oh... |
| 00:38:15 |
He thinks my feet stink. |
| 00:38:20 |
Now, that's a stink. |
| 00:38:23 |
See, I knew you were gonna |
| 00:38:27 |
Hey, it's Salisbury steak, Emeril. |
| 00:38:30 |
It stinks like manure! |
| 00:38:31 |
Yeah, it's supposed to. |
| 00:38:33 |
I can't believe you're gonna |
| 00:38:36 |
Hey, language! |
| 00:38:37 |
Okay, kids, |
| 00:38:39 |
Seriously, though, |
| 00:38:41 |
If I'm living here, |
| 00:38:43 |
How long is Uncle Chuck staying? |
| 00:38:45 |
Just for a little bit, okay? |
| 00:38:48 |
What happened to your place? |
| 00:38:50 |
Roaches. |
| 00:38:52 |
Yeah, big giant roaches. |
| 00:38:54 |
They ate my dog. |
| 00:38:55 |
Bastards! |
| 00:38:57 |
Language! |
| 00:38:58 |
Roaches are so ewwy. |
| 00:39:01 |
Did you hear that? |
| 00:39:03 |
"Ewwy" is another word not allowed said |
| 00:39:06 |
I think ewwy's a nice word. |
| 00:39:08 |
Ewwy! |
| 00:39:09 |
Funny. |
| 00:39:16 |
The Reds never even came up |
| 00:39:19 |
About five straight seasons |
| 00:39:22 |
the franchise's worse such stretch |
| 00:39:25 |
Yet heading into play today, the Reds |
| 00:39:29 |
They've got |
| 00:39:33 |
...who's eligible |
| 00:39:34 |
but hasn't fully recovered |
| 00:39:36 |
Real smooth. |
| 00:39:38 |
Why? What happened? |
| 00:39:39 |
You broke Tori's chair! |
| 00:39:40 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:39:42 |
I'm not kidding you. |
| 00:39:44 |
What the hell is that |
| 00:39:46 |
I'm exfoliating. |
| 00:39:48 |
Hey, that's a great idea, man. |
| 00:39:50 |
In case the gay inspector comes by. |
| 00:39:52 |
Yeah, yeah, |
| 00:39:56 |
TORl: Daddy, help! |
| 00:39:58 |
Tori? |
| 00:40:02 |
Somebody left the seat up. |
| 00:40:05 |
Real smooth, again. |
| 00:40:06 |
Why? What happened now? |
| 00:40:08 |
It was like that when I got here. |
| 00:40:10 |
Hey, it's okay, sweetheart. |
| 00:40:11 |
You see, Uncle Chuck, he's not used |
| 00:40:14 |
True that. |
| 00:40:16 |
Slow, slow, slow. |
| 00:40:21 |
Whoa, whoa... |
| 00:40:23 |
Your father's just jealous |
| 00:40:26 |
in that thing. |
| 00:40:27 |
He got his butt stuck |
| 00:40:29 |
I seen that. |
| 00:40:31 |
Hey, yeah. |
| 00:40:32 |
Uncle Chuck, |
| 00:40:34 |
Hey, don't you look at that! |
| 00:40:35 |
I didn't. Actually, you |
| 00:40:37 |
Maybe he should look at it. See. |
| 00:40:38 |
No, no, no. This is an experiment. |
| 00:40:42 |
Eric, see how this |
| 00:40:45 |
Open it up. |
| 00:40:51 |
All right, |
| 00:40:59 |
Yo, you got any tequila in this house? |
| 00:41:02 |
No, I don't. |
| 00:41:04 |
What the hell is this? |
| 00:41:06 |
No, that's your bed. |
| 00:41:08 |
That ain't a bed. That's a bed, |
| 00:41:11 |
No. Look, you're not |
| 00:41:13 |
Nobody's slept |
| 00:41:15 |
But, sweetheart, |
| 00:41:17 |
Of course I'm sleeping |
| 00:41:19 |
No. |
| 00:41:21 |
How about if I put |
| 00:41:22 |
Would that get me |
| 00:41:23 |
Don't you dare touch her PJs. |
| 00:41:26 |
You're kidding me. |
| 00:41:29 |
That's sick, Larry. Seriously. |
| 00:41:30 |
All right. |
| 00:41:32 |
You gotta call the shrink. |
| 00:41:34 |
I'm coming in the bed, Larry. |
| 00:41:36 |
Whoa, look at this. |
| 00:41:38 |
That's sweet of you. |
| 00:41:41 |
I don't feel comfortable with this, |
| 00:41:43 |
Would it help |
| 00:41:45 |
Hey, get your foot off |
| 00:41:46 |
Have some respect, |
| 00:41:48 |
Yeah, I'll be respectful. |
| 00:41:51 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:41:52 |
Why don't you turn the light off? |
| 00:41:54 |
I'm not around, Larry. |
| 00:41:56 |
Yeah. Yeah. See? |
| 00:42:00 |
Make yourself comfortable. |
| 00:42:02 |
That's right. |
| 00:42:07 |
You got Cinemax in here? |
| 00:42:09 |
No, I do not. |
| 00:42:11 |
What the hell am I supposed to do |
| 00:42:13 |
Keep it away from me. |
| 00:42:18 |
Can you lend me your foot for a second? |
| 00:42:26 |
Larry. |
| 00:42:30 |
You betrayed me, Larry. |
| 00:42:35 |
You made a promise |
| 00:42:39 |
All right. Hey, hey, hey. |
| 00:42:41 |
I swear to you, I will |
| 00:42:43 |
...with the end table! |
| 00:42:45 |
Stop it, man. |
| 00:42:46 |
If it was me, I would stop it. |
| 00:42:47 |
It was someone else. |
| 00:42:50 |
It scared me, too, Larry. |
| 00:42:56 |
Good morning, Daddy. |
| 00:42:59 |
Oh, hey, kids. |
| 00:43:00 |
Good morning, Uncle Chuck. |
| 00:43:03 |
What's doing, guys? |
| 00:43:04 |
Good morning, Teresa. |
| 00:43:06 |
Great morning. |
| 00:43:12 |
Why is Teresa in the bed? |
| 00:43:16 |
She was just cleaning it. She was... |
| 00:43:19 |
Spotless. Thank you. |
| 00:43:23 |
Hey. |
| 00:43:25 |
Hey, this is what got us in trouble |
| 00:43:28 |
Oh, boy. |
| 00:43:29 |
Come on, kids, |
| 00:43:31 |
Come on, come on, come on! |
| 00:43:33 |
You're gonna burn for that. |
| 00:43:34 |
Get Cinemax. |
| 00:43:36 |
While I'm sleeping |
| 00:43:38 |
Hey, you weren't sleeping |
| 00:43:40 |
You threw in some moves. |
| 00:43:41 |
I did not! |
| 00:43:42 |
Yeah. Smell your thumb. |
| 00:43:52 |
Smells like plastic. |
| 00:44:03 |
Hey, big guy. |
| 00:44:05 |
Hey, what the hell you doing |
| 00:44:09 |
Oh, once it's out on the street |
| 00:44:14 |
Lawrence Valentine, I presume? |
| 00:44:16 |
Yeah. That's me. |
| 00:44:17 |
Yeah, Clint Fitzer |
| 00:44:21 |
You know, funny thing, you put |
| 00:44:24 |
after you'd already been |
| 00:44:26 |
I found that interesting. |
| 00:44:29 |
And your garbage, |
| 00:44:31 |
well, from my experience, |
| 00:44:35 |
Can I see some |
| 00:44:36 |
Oh, that's just one zip away. |
| 00:44:44 |
Mr. Valentine, the law takes a dim view |
| 00:44:51 |
A very dim view, big guy. |
| 00:44:56 |
Shit. |
| 00:45:04 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:45:05 |
I'm putting a pillowcase |
| 00:45:06 |
Okay, you know what? |
| 00:45:08 |
It's my underwear, you idiot. |
| 00:45:11 |
No! |
| 00:45:13 |
I just ran into Clint Fitzer out front. |
| 00:45:16 |
The one that hot-ass lawyer |
| 00:45:18 |
We gotta make |
| 00:45:19 |
More gay? |
| 00:45:20 |
Yeah. He went through our trash. |
| 00:45:23 |
Well, let's gay |
| 00:45:24 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:45:27 |
Gay trash... Gay trash... |
| 00:45:29 |
Let's see. |
| 00:45:32 |
Huh? Huh? |
| 00:45:34 |
Yeah. What else? |
| 00:45:36 |
Anything you can do, I can do better |
| 00:45:39 |
I can do anything better than you |
| 00:45:42 |
Perfect. |
| 00:45:45 |
Eric, are those the cleats |
| 00:45:47 |
Uncle Chuck helped me |
| 00:45:50 |
Yeah, he didn't get Pippin, |
| 00:45:51 |
so we're gonna prime him |
| 00:45:52 |
For the Annie Get Your Gun thing. |
| 00:45:53 |
Go ahead, tap away. Nice. |
| 00:45:56 |
Sinatra tap-danced, come on. |
| 00:45:59 |
Nice. Nice. Big finish. |
| 00:46:01 |
Yeah. You wanna throw him |
| 00:46:05 |
I'm kidding. Come on. |
| 00:46:07 |
Think like a gay guy. |
| 00:46:09 |
Come on, gay. Gay it up. |
| 00:46:10 |
Here we go. Look at this. |
| 00:46:11 |
Shampoo for permed hair. |
| 00:46:13 |
Put it in there. |
| 00:46:14 |
Bandages. |
| 00:46:15 |
It's too rugged. |
| 00:46:17 |
Really? |
| 00:46:18 |
Gay guys like clean ears |
| 00:46:22 |
What do you got? |
| 00:46:23 |
Maxi Pads. |
| 00:46:24 |
Now we have vaginas? |
| 00:46:26 |
Get some Streisand shit or something. |
| 00:46:30 |
Gay. Very gay. Über gay. |
| 00:46:34 |
The gayest. |
| 00:46:41 |
Oh... |
| 00:46:43 |
Chuck! |
| 00:46:45 |
Hi! |
| 00:46:47 |
Oh, hey, did Larry tell you that |
| 00:46:51 |
That guy is an infection, |
| 00:46:53 |
'cause I'm gonna handle it. |
| 00:46:54 |
No, it's all good. |
| 00:46:59 |
Are you doing anything |
| 00:47:02 |
No. Why? |
| 00:47:03 |
Well, I'm involved with this group, |
| 00:47:07 |
Look, I know it's |
| 00:47:08 |
No, no, no! |
| 00:47:11 |
Let's party. Wow. |
| 00:47:13 |
Awesome. Awesome! |
| 00:47:14 |
Okay. It's gonna be a lot of fun. |
| 00:47:16 |
I'm sure. |
| 00:47:17 |
Here's the info. |
| 00:47:19 |
And don't forget |
| 00:47:22 |
My, husband? Yes, of course. |
| 00:47:25 |
Don't go anywhere without him. |
| 00:47:26 |
He's like a... |
| 00:47:31 |
Are you gonna be bringing |
| 00:47:36 |
Oh, I'm not gay, |
| 00:47:38 |
And I just broke up |
| 00:47:42 |
I mean... |
| 00:47:44 |
It's fine. |
| 00:47:48 |
I'll be there. |
| 00:47:49 |
Okay. |
| 00:47:50 |
Oh, you wanna go? |
| 00:47:52 |
See you. |
| 00:47:57 |
Hell, yeah! |
| 00:47:59 |
Sorry, did you say something? |
| 00:48:02 |
No, they got K-Y jelly, |
| 00:48:09 |
Okay. Bye. |
| 00:48:10 |
Bye. |
| 00:48:15 |
Yeah, this does work. |
| 00:48:21 |
Got some mail for you, |
| 00:48:23 |
Oh, okay. Thanks, Ron. |
| 00:48:28 |
Something I can do for you? |
| 00:48:29 |
I couldn't help overhearing |
| 00:48:32 |
talking about your arrangement |
| 00:48:35 |
Yeah, we're a couple, so... |
| 00:48:39 |
Right. I also caught |
| 00:48:44 |
What? I'm sorry? |
| 00:48:45 |
I heard you mention to the gentleman |
| 00:48:49 |
Oh. Yeah, you know what? |
| 00:48:53 |
I was feeling... |
| 00:48:55 |
It's nothing to worry about, sir. |
| 00:48:57 |
I don't bite. |
| 00:49:00 |
Oh, okay. |
| 00:49:01 |
Listen, just so you know, |
| 00:49:03 |
if you're ever home alone |
| 00:49:05 |
I make drop-offs. |
| 00:49:08 |
Yeah. |
| 00:49:09 |
And I always deliver. |
| 00:49:10 |
You know what? |
| 00:49:13 |
Right, I understand that. |
| 00:49:16 |
explore your other feelings, |
| 00:49:20 |
And it's always first-class. |
| 00:49:22 |
All right. Anything else you feel |
| 00:49:25 |
I handle with care. |
| 00:49:26 |
Okay, Ron, thank you very much. |
| 00:49:28 |
And I'd be happy to come in |
| 00:49:29 |
I'm sure you would. |
| 00:49:32 |
Used to holding |
| 00:49:41 |
This actually ain't |
| 00:49:43 |
Just some regular |
| 00:49:48 |
I'm dirty! Who's dirty? |
| 00:49:53 |
Oh, my God, it's Homopalooza. |
| 00:50:02 |
You know what? Find Alex, say hello, |
| 00:50:05 |
I'm going to take a leak. |
| 00:50:06 |
You're gonna go |
| 00:50:09 |
What's wrong with that? |
| 00:50:10 |
I peed three times |
| 00:50:12 |
I'll be fine. |
| 00:50:13 |
Apple martini? |
| 00:50:27 |
Oh, yeah. There's my lawyer. |
| 00:50:36 |
Look at that. Perfection. |
| 00:50:40 |
I want to suck your blood. |
| 00:50:44 |
Suck my what? |
| 00:50:47 |
Nothing. |
| 00:50:49 |
It's cool. |
| 00:50:51 |
I was talking to somebody else. |
| 00:50:54 |
Hey! Don't go, bitch! |
| 00:50:57 |
Don't be a tease! |
| 00:51:00 |
You whore! |
| 00:51:09 |
Hello? |
| 00:51:14 |
Anybody here? |
| 00:51:20 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:51:38 |
Chuck! Hey! |
| 00:51:42 |
Alex? That's you, right? |
| 00:51:43 |
Yeah. I'm Catwoman. |
| 00:51:48 |
Wow, so... |
| 00:51:49 |
I had no idea Dracula |
| 00:51:52 |
I like Betty Butterfly the most. |
| 00:51:54 |
On, Stevie! On, Bobby! On, Sarah! |
| 00:51:58 |
That's my brother, Kevin. |
| 00:52:00 |
He's your brother? |
| 00:52:01 |
Yes. |
| 00:52:02 |
He's gotta come out of the closet already. |
| 00:52:05 |
It must eat him up inside |
| 00:52:07 |
Shut up. |
| 00:52:12 |
My underwear's |
| 00:52:15 |
Seriously, I got some applesauce |
| 00:52:18 |
I can't wait to launder |
| 00:52:20 |
What's up, apple dumpling? |
| 00:52:22 |
What's crack-a-what? |
| 00:52:25 |
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Kevin, |
| 00:52:28 |
Oh, hey, man. |
| 00:52:30 |
Larry, Chuck's better half. |
| 00:52:31 |
Oh, wow. |
| 00:52:32 |
Better two-thirds, actually. |
| 00:52:34 |
So, I got a question. |
| 00:52:37 |
I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do |
| 00:52:39 |
Who's pitching |
| 00:52:41 |
You mean who's the chick |
| 00:52:44 |
Please don't feel obligated to answer that. |
| 00:52:47 |
I know it's not, |
| 00:52:48 |
Really not a problem. Let's see. |
| 00:52:51 |
Who do you think |
| 00:52:53 |
One, two, three. Chuck! |
| 00:52:56 |
So Chuck! |
| 00:52:57 |
What do you mean, Chuck? |
| 00:53:00 |
Why would you think |
| 00:53:02 |
Well, he's an apple. |
| 00:53:04 |
Very masculine. |
| 00:53:06 |
And you're Count Suckula |
| 00:53:10 |
I'm drinking through a straw |
| 00:53:13 |
Oh, yeah, that was worse. All right. |
| 00:53:16 |
I also think it's because |
| 00:53:19 |
And that's very rare |
| 00:53:23 |
Well, you have very sweet |
| 00:53:26 |
I do? |
| 00:53:27 |
Us chicks should |
| 00:53:28 |
Take it easy, buddy. |
| 00:53:30 |
Girls rule and boys drool. |
| 00:53:32 |
Yeah. |
| 00:53:34 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:53:35 |
You okay? Breathe! |
| 00:53:37 |
This is my jam! |
| 00:53:38 |
This is my jam! You know that! |
| 00:53:41 |
Okay, okay. |
| 00:53:44 |
So? |
| 00:53:46 |
You gonna show me your moves? |
| 00:53:49 |
Oh, my God, |
| 00:53:52 |
I can't dance for shit. |
| 00:53:53 |
Hell, no. |
| 00:53:59 |
Look at these guys, man. |
| 00:54:04 |
Gay guys know how to dance good. |
| 00:54:11 |
Get in the circle right now! |
| 00:54:12 |
Yeah, it's gonna be a blast. |
| 00:54:14 |
Any second, man. |
| 00:54:15 |
I can't wait. I can't wait! |
| 00:54:18 |
Look at this. |
| 00:54:19 |
Hey, the butterfly's coming |
| 00:54:24 |
That's my brother! |
| 00:54:26 |
This is his jam! |
| 00:54:32 |
Kevin's having fun. |
| 00:54:33 |
I didn't need to see that. |
| 00:54:35 |
I'm flying! |
| 00:54:37 |
We gotta look good at this. |
| 00:54:38 |
It's showtime, boys! |
| 00:54:39 |
Whoa! |
| 00:54:42 |
I'm sorry! |
| 00:54:43 |
No, it's part of it. |
| 00:54:44 |
All right, Larry, get up. |
| 00:54:51 |
We're busted, dude, |
| 00:54:53 |
Let's go junior high on their ass. |
| 00:54:55 |
Junior high? |
| 00:54:56 |
Yeah. Let's do this. |
| 00:54:58 |
Okay. |
| 00:55:14 |
Is it working? |
| 00:55:15 |
I don't know. |
| 00:55:18 |
I think it is. |
| 00:55:32 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:55:34 |
We really pulled this one |
| 00:55:37 |
Bad choice of words, there, Larry. |
| 00:55:45 |
Hey, Chuck, Larry. We got a basketball |
| 00:55:48 |
If you guys want to play, |
| 00:55:50 |
Okay, right on. Thank you. Thank you. |
| 00:55:53 |
Nice to meet you guys. |
| 00:55:54 |
Sinners and fornicators! |
| 00:55:58 |
We are here to save you |
| 00:56:02 |
Hey, buddy! |
| 00:56:03 |
Wait, come on already! |
| 00:56:06 |
Now, give it a rest. |
| 00:56:08 |
Aren't you worried about |
| 00:56:11 |
This is what these guys do |
| 00:56:13 |
They just want everyone to be |
| 00:56:16 |
Gay is not the way! |
| 00:56:21 |
It's over, baby. |
| 00:56:23 |
Gay is not the way! |
| 00:56:25 |
Hey, hey! You heard the man. |
| 00:56:29 |
This is a public sidewalk. |
| 00:56:33 |
And we have every right |
| 00:56:34 |
Yeah! |
| 00:56:37 |
Homosexuality is |
| 00:56:42 |
Hey, news flash, man. |
| 00:56:47 |
Gay is the way! Gay is the way! |
| 00:56:50 |
Hey, what makes you think |
| 00:56:53 |
how other people |
| 00:56:55 |
I'm a minister. |
| 00:56:58 |
Well, I'm a fireman. |
| 00:56:59 |
I say you're blocking emergency access, |
| 00:57:02 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa! |
| 00:57:05 |
You are a disgrace! |
| 00:57:07 |
You're a flamer, |
| 00:57:10 |
All right, oh, my God. There's |
| 00:57:12 |
Just let it go. Just let it go. |
| 00:57:14 |
Come on, come on. |
| 00:57:16 |
Have a good day. |
| 00:57:18 |
Faggots. |
| 00:57:20 |
I'm sorry? |
| 00:57:22 |
Oh, I called you a faggot. |
| 00:57:25 |
Faggot. |
| 00:57:31 |
For your information, |
| 00:57:38 |
Homos, one. Crazy people, zero. |
| 00:57:49 |
Gentlemen, I have |
| 00:57:51 |
What you shove up your ass |
| 00:57:53 |
Captain... |
| 00:57:54 |
Now, it's not my style to get involved |
| 00:57:58 |
And if sometimes I've given you |
| 00:58:00 |
the impression that I'm your friend, |
| 00:58:03 |
However, I seriously doubt |
| 00:58:08 |
You and Paula, the most beautiful couple |
| 00:58:12 |
And you, if my pencil sharpener had a skirt, |
| 00:58:17 |
Look, do you have any idea of the stress |
| 00:58:21 |
I've already got |
| 00:58:23 |
And now, thanks to you two bozos, |
| 00:58:25 |
I've got the Pension Department |
| 00:58:27 |
not to mention every flaming fruit bat |
| 00:58:29 |
that wants to come down here to our house |
| 00:58:32 |
We should tell him the truth. |
| 00:58:34 |
We'll tell him the truth. |
| 00:58:36 |
I don't want to hear about it. |
| 00:58:38 |
And if this marriage is |
| 00:58:40 |
in response to this pension problem, |
| 00:58:43 |
I will report you. |
| 00:58:45 |
where you won't have |
| 00:58:47 |
because your asses'll be busier |
| 00:58:54 |
I just wanted to thank you again |
| 00:58:57 |
Oh, yeah, |
| 00:58:59 |
You sound a little down. |
| 00:59:02 |
He's at school with the kids, |
| 00:59:05 |
So does that mean that you can have |
| 00:59:08 |
A girl's day? |
| 00:59:09 |
I need some new shoes, |
| 00:59:12 |
Girl's day! |
| 00:59:13 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:59:16 |
Girl's day! Sure. |
| 00:59:20 |
I'll pick you up. |
| 01:00:41 |
So, by trading in |
| 01:00:46 |
we can offer our clients |
| 01:00:51 |
Any questions? |
| 01:00:56 |
There never are. |
| 01:00:58 |
Thank you, Mr. Auerbach, |
| 01:01:02 |
Our next parent is Larry Valentine, |
| 01:01:06 |
Hi, everybody! |
| 01:01:09 |
and I'm proud to be one because |
| 01:01:12 |
and make sure |
| 01:01:16 |
Whoa! We got some questions already. |
| 01:01:20 |
Yeah. |
| 01:01:22 |
I don't like girls, either. |
| 01:01:29 |
No, no. |
| 01:01:32 |
You were married |
| 01:01:34 |
Yes. |
| 01:01:35 |
Does that mean |
| 01:01:38 |
Kids, Mr. Valentine is here to talk |
| 01:01:42 |
Mr. Valentine? |
| 01:01:45 |
Yes, that is correct. |
| 01:01:46 |
Do you have two jobs? |
| 01:01:47 |
Because my dad said |
| 01:01:56 |
Larry. |
| 01:01:57 |
Steve. |
| 01:01:59 |
Rough crowd, huh? |
| 01:02:00 |
Kids. |
| 01:02:02 |
So, listen. We're all set |
| 01:02:06 |
Oh, great. We're all set? |
| 01:02:08 |
No, we're all set, |
| 01:02:11 |
All right, well, then, I guess I'll see you |
| 01:02:14 |
Oh, you know what? |
| 01:02:17 |
We are good. |
| 01:02:18 |
No, no, no, we're not good. |
| 01:02:20 |
We don't need you for Little League. |
| 01:02:23 |
Okay, Steve, what's going on? |
| 01:02:27 |
Larry, I don't want to get into this |
| 01:02:31 |
Hey, you know what, Steve? |
| 01:02:34 |
I'm trying to get Eric |
| 01:02:37 |
That kid interested |
| 01:02:39 |
You got a better chance getting |
| 01:02:42 |
in a hamburger, buddy. |
| 01:02:48 |
Fight! Fight! Fight! |
| 01:02:53 |
Your dad's gay and so are you. |
| 01:03:04 |
Oh, my hair! |
| 01:03:06 |
Oh, my clothes! |
| 01:03:07 |
Oh, am I frizzy? |
| 01:03:09 |
You asshole! Go back to Jersey! |
| 01:03:14 |
Come on, honey! |
| 01:03:21 |
Whoa, nice pad. |
| 01:03:24 |
Oh, thank you. |
| 01:03:25 |
Hey, you are soaked. Do you want to borrow |
| 01:03:29 |
No, no. I'm great, I'm great. |
| 01:03:32 |
Okay, but I am freezing, so... |
| 01:03:38 |
What are you doing there? |
| 01:03:39 |
Well, it's wet. |
| 01:03:48 |
Actually, you know what? |
| 01:03:51 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:03:55 |
Thanks. |
| 01:04:06 |
So, that's a great body |
| 01:04:10 |
it could be the best body |
| 01:04:12 |
Shut up. |
| 01:04:14 |
Besides Larry's. But yours... |
| 01:04:17 |
Your tush looks like |
| 01:04:20 |
and Larry's is made of pudding |
| 01:04:23 |
and God knows what. |
| 01:04:24 |
Well, these are real, by the way. |
| 01:04:27 |
Everyone thinks they're fake, |
| 01:04:30 |
Alex. You don't gotta lie to me. |
| 01:04:34 |
You kidding me? |
| 01:04:37 |
Oh, no big deal if they are or not. |
| 01:04:40 |
I've got nothing to hide. |
| 01:04:43 |
Feel them? |
| 01:04:45 |
I mean, I... |
| 01:04:49 |
I have a... |
| 01:04:51 |
I'd rather feel a flabby man pec, |
| 01:04:55 |
but in the name of science, |
| 01:04:57 |
your bodacious Bahama mamas, |
| 01:05:00 |
or whatever the guys call them nowadays, |
| 01:05:03 |
Yes, go ahead. |
| 01:05:07 |
Well? |
| 01:05:09 |
Yeah, they're real. |
| 01:05:12 |
Told you. |
| 01:05:13 |
And creamy. |
| 01:05:17 |
And fun. |
| 01:05:19 |
For someone who would like |
| 01:05:22 |
But to me, it's, like, ew. |
| 01:05:24 |
I just got a little nauseous there, |
| 01:05:28 |
You want a bite? |
| 01:05:30 |
No, no, no. |
| 01:05:33 |
I'll do that again. |
| 01:05:34 |
No, no, I meant food. |
| 01:05:37 |
Oh! I'm sorry. |
| 01:05:40 |
Yeah, no... Just... |
| 01:05:43 |
That was funny. |
| 01:05:55 |
Nice, nice. |
| 01:06:00 |
Wait a minute, wait a minute. |
| 01:06:03 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 01:06:05 |
You don't want to play? |
| 01:06:07 |
Hey, Chuckie, |
| 01:06:09 |
You play real physical defense, |
| 01:06:13 |
or rubbing up against |
| 01:06:16 |
Just 'cause you're gay doesn't mean |
| 01:06:19 |
Oh, really? 'Cause every time |
| 01:06:21 |
I feel like you were |
| 01:06:23 |
Yeah. Let the WNBA play. |
| 01:06:28 |
Fine, go. |
| 01:06:31 |
Unbelievable. |
| 01:06:43 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:06:45 |
What, you want |
| 01:06:48 |
Huh? You want to mess |
| 01:06:50 |
'Cause this queer don't take shit |
| 01:06:53 |
You ready? I'm a fireman, man! |
| 01:06:58 |
Put your fists down. |
| 01:07:20 |
Me, too. |
| 01:07:22 |
You, too? |
| 01:07:24 |
You, too, what? |
| 01:07:27 |
I'm gay. |
| 01:07:32 |
I can't believe |
| 01:07:36 |
Oh, God, it feels so good. |
| 01:07:38 |
It's just like a wave |
| 01:07:43 |
It's so liberating. |
| 01:07:45 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:07:49 |
Do you remember |
| 01:07:53 |
First time I said... Yeah. |
| 01:07:56 |
I was with Larry. |
| 01:07:58 |
Your lover. |
| 01:08:00 |
Who, by the way, |
| 01:08:02 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 01:08:04 |
He's mine, though, so... |
| 01:08:06 |
Oh, no, that's your man. |
| 01:08:08 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 01:08:09 |
Yeah. |
| 01:08:10 |
My whole life |
| 01:08:14 |
But you and Larry have given me |
| 01:08:18 |
"To thine own self be true. " |
| 01:08:22 |
There's nothing worse than pretending |
| 01:08:27 |
Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm glad. |
| 01:08:32 |
and anything else we can do, |
| 01:08:35 |
Would you help me |
| 01:08:40 |
I guess. |
| 01:08:41 |
Yes! |
| 01:08:42 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. |
| 01:08:44 |
Oh, yes, yes, yes, girl! |
| 01:08:48 |
Hey, did you guys catch |
| 01:08:50 |
They got a shot of my cousin |
| 01:08:53 |
I missed it. Took my sister |
| 01:08:56 |
for a second opinion. |
| 01:08:57 |
They said there's nothing |
| 01:09:02 |
What the hell is so funny? |
| 01:09:30 |
No! |
| 01:09:48 |
Pick that up, would you? |
| 01:09:50 |
I ain't picking that up! |
| 01:09:51 |
You want my soap, Renaldo? |
| 01:09:57 |
Hey, Tony, give me your soap. |
| 01:09:59 |
No. I don't share soap. |
| 01:10:01 |
Come on, give me the damn bar of soap! |
| 01:10:03 |
Get out of here! Get out of here! |
| 01:10:12 |
Who's gonna do it? |
| 01:10:41 |
Hey, how you doing? |
| 01:10:45 |
Hey, Duncan. |
| 01:10:48 |
I'll tell you about that later. |
| 01:10:55 |
'Cause I'm every woman |
| 01:11:00 |
Anything you want now, baby |
| 01:11:07 |
Let me hear you say it |
| 01:11:12 |
Lawrence. |
| 01:11:13 |
Oh, a little louder |
| 01:11:16 |
Everybody sing now |
| 01:11:21 |
I can't hear you sing |
| 01:11:32 |
All right, yours is done. |
| 01:11:34 |
Yours, too. |
| 01:11:35 |
All right, take a look. |
| 01:11:37 |
"Girlz Rule" with a "Z." |
| 01:11:39 |
This is so awesome. |
| 01:11:41 |
I hope you like yours. |
| 01:11:42 |
Let's see here. |
| 01:11:44 |
"Friends forever. " |
| 01:11:47 |
Anything with forever and you in it |
| 01:11:49 |
This is great. |
| 01:11:52 |
You know what's |
| 01:11:54 |
That those Guidos wouldn't even |
| 01:11:57 |
We could get a court order |
| 01:12:01 |
Court order? No, no, no. |
| 01:12:03 |
They're just having |
| 01:12:06 |
Calm down. Relax. |
| 01:12:08 |
Come on. |
| 01:12:09 |
Okay. |
| 01:12:16 |
You're right. You're right. |
| 01:12:17 |
But you know what would really |
| 01:12:22 |
Is a foot rub. |
| 01:12:24 |
Please. Please. |
| 01:12:29 |
Oh, they're good. |
| 01:12:34 |
You know, I love that you're |
| 01:12:37 |
A chubby what-what? |
| 01:12:38 |
Well, you know, |
| 01:12:40 |
I mean, is that the type of guy |
| 01:12:45 |
No, he's my first fatty. |
| 01:12:48 |
Yeah, you guys really seem |
| 01:12:52 |
I float his boat |
| 01:12:55 |
Yeah, I've never had that, really had that, |
| 01:13:01 |
I don't even know |
| 01:13:03 |
What? |
| 01:13:04 |
I'm serious. Come on. |
| 01:13:07 |
Give me some moves. |
| 01:13:11 |
How do I turn Larry on? |
| 01:13:15 |
I mean, to get him into bed, of course, |
| 01:13:19 |
No! |
| 01:13:21 |
Really. Seriously. |
| 01:13:23 |
Well, he likes it |
| 01:13:30 |
That gets him crazy. |
| 01:13:31 |
Really? |
| 01:13:32 |
Yeah, it's a spot of his. |
| 01:13:35 |
Try it on me. |
| 01:13:36 |
Try it on you? Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:13:38 |
Yeah. |
| 01:13:39 |
You know, I just grab it and... |
| 01:13:42 |
Usually when I do this to Larry, |
| 01:13:47 |
I love it. |
| 01:13:49 |
Yeah. Like that? |
| 01:13:51 |
Sure, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, |
| 01:13:53 |
And then you can go to some hair-pulling, |
| 01:13:56 |
Like that? |
| 01:13:57 |
Oh, yeah, let him know you're there, |
| 01:14:00 |
And then the slap out |
| 01:14:01 |
That is good. |
| 01:14:04 |
Yeah. Not Ultimate Fighting |
| 01:14:07 |
Just light and sexual and fun. |
| 01:14:10 |
How did you get to be |
| 01:14:13 |
I don't know. |
| 01:14:15 |
I used to be kind of a jerk. |
| 01:14:19 |
But then you meet |
| 01:14:23 |
who makes you |
| 01:14:26 |
Actually, it makes you want to |
| 01:14:35 |
Yeah. You know, it's true when women say |
| 01:14:38 |
either gay or married. |
| 01:14:41 |
And of course, |
| 01:14:44 |
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:14:49 |
if I wasn't so |
| 01:14:52 |
or chunky monkeys... |
| 01:14:55 |
Chubby chaser. |
| 01:14:56 |
Oh, yeah, yeah. |
| 01:14:59 |
I would be just so all over you. |
| 01:15:01 |
Oh, come on. No way. |
| 01:15:04 |
Are you kidding me? |
| 01:15:05 |
You're gorgeous, and you're smart, |
| 01:15:14 |
I'm just so happy I met you. |
| 01:15:16 |
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 01:15:19 |
Friends. Friends forever. |
| 01:15:32 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:15:40 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:15:42 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. |
| 01:15:46 |
I just never felt this way |
| 01:15:49 |
Because you're gay. |
| 01:15:51 |
And you're married. |
| 01:15:53 |
This is so wrong! |
| 01:15:54 |
No, it's not about right or wrong, |
| 01:15:57 |
or gay or straight, |
| 01:16:04 |
Wow. |
| 01:16:06 |
No! I can't see you. |
| 01:16:08 |
I can't see you. |
| 01:16:10 |
Alex, don't say that. Please? |
| 01:16:12 |
I believe in marriage. |
| 01:16:15 |
I betrayed you. I betrayed Larry! |
| 01:16:21 |
Larry, he's a great guy, but I gotta be |
| 01:16:26 |
All he does is watch his baseball games, |
| 01:16:30 |
You have to go. I'm sorry. |
| 01:16:32 |
He hits me, though. |
| 01:16:34 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 01:16:46 |
Hey! |
| 01:16:49 |
What the hell's going on out here? |
| 01:16:52 |
Nothing. I'm just draining a few buckets |
| 01:16:55 |
making small talk, you know? |
| 01:16:57 |
You'd think on such a nice day, |
| 01:16:58 |
your husband would want to |
| 01:17:01 |
Where is he, anyway? |
| 01:17:03 |
No, he's at his mother's. |
| 01:17:05 |
No, Daddy. |
| 01:17:08 |
he always talks about |
| 01:17:11 |
He is? |
| 01:17:14 |
Hey! |
| 01:17:16 |
I just felt a breeze, |
| 01:17:20 |
and that breeze is blowing |
| 01:17:34 |
Hey, guys, we got a perpetrator |
| 01:17:37 |
Apparently tried to break in last night, |
| 01:17:41 |
You're the guys |
| 01:17:43 |
Yeah, that's us. All right, |
| 01:17:45 |
The guy got stuck upside-down, |
| 01:17:49 |
That's pretty funny. |
| 01:17:52 |
Oh, I'm sorry, |
| 01:17:57 |
Hey, anybody! |
| 01:18:00 |
I just peed on my face! |
| 01:18:02 |
All right, relax, buddy, |
| 01:18:06 |
Unlike some people around here, |
| 01:18:09 |
Who are you talking about? |
| 01:18:11 |
Why? What happened? |
| 01:18:13 |
Fitzer came by today, |
| 01:18:14 |
your obsession |
| 01:18:16 |
Obsession? What? What? |
| 01:18:19 |
Don't even give me that, |
| 01:18:21 |
You know what? |
| 01:18:23 |
Fitzer would actually think that, |
| 01:18:25 |
Hey, man, I gotta lie to you! |
| 01:18:27 |
Thanks to you, |
| 01:18:30 |
Especially Alex! |
| 01:18:33 |
I can't even get close to her. |
| 01:18:36 |
Why can't you have fun with me? |
| 01:18:39 |
Because you've changed! |
| 01:18:41 |
Ever since you forced me |
| 01:18:43 |
you're so goddamn controlling. |
| 01:18:44 |
You don't act like my freaking husband, |
| 01:18:47 |
"Don't do this!" "Don't do that!" |
| 01:18:51 |
You're smothering me, man! |
| 01:18:53 |
What you guys need |
| 01:18:55 |
Shut up! |
| 01:18:56 |
Idiot, the only reason you're feeling that way |
| 01:19:00 |
That's what happens |
| 01:19:02 |
Fat-ass, we're not |
| 01:19:05 |
I'm just in some gay, |
| 01:19:07 |
Yeah, that you can't commit to, |
| 01:19:10 |
I swear to God, I feel like I'm the only one |
| 01:19:13 |
Work! That's right, it's become work! |
| 01:19:17 |
Face it, we are not |
| 01:19:19 |
I found somebody |
| 01:19:22 |
Instead of being jealous of that, |
| 01:19:25 |
Because I still love my wife. |
| 01:19:26 |
Well, move on already. |
| 01:19:29 |
Your house is like |
| 01:19:32 |
One of these days |
| 01:19:35 |
one that your kids don't gotta |
| 01:19:38 |
No, you can't keep it in your pants |
| 01:19:40 |
and that's why we're |
| 01:19:41 |
Whoa, back up, buddy. |
| 01:19:45 |
'Cause you can't open |
| 01:19:47 |
Everything with Paula's name on it |
| 01:19:49 |
and filed under |
| 01:19:52 |
Guys, could you at least call |
| 01:19:54 |
What is your rush, idiot? |
| 01:19:57 |
You know what? I cannot deal with sleeping |
| 01:20:00 |
So don't bother coming |
| 01:20:01 |
Oh, wouldn't dream of it, honey. |
| 01:20:03 |
You are a lousy best friend |
| 01:20:07 |
Hey! For the record, |
| 01:20:10 |
I was faking it. |
| 01:20:12 |
You're a monster! |
| 01:20:19 |
Oh, my God, |
| 01:20:22 |
I love you, I love you, I love you! |
| 01:20:24 |
I love you! |
| 01:20:30 |
Wow, that's a gay bracelet. |
| 01:20:33 |
I hope Fitzer sees that. |
| 01:20:36 |
Shut up. |
| 01:20:47 |
You needed to see us? |
| 01:20:49 |
Shut the door. |
| 01:20:52 |
You know, |
| 01:20:55 |
I pissed without spraying |
| 01:20:58 |
so I was in a relatively good mood. |
| 01:21:00 |
Until I received this. |
| 01:21:04 |
Seems the guys in the company |
| 01:21:06 |
They all signed that petition requesting |
| 01:21:10 |
What? |
| 01:21:11 |
I'm not gonna do it, |
| 01:21:13 |
to keep the peace. |
| 01:21:14 |
Now, personally, |
| 01:21:16 |
before your little act gets busted. |
| 01:21:19 |
What? |
| 01:21:20 |
Hey, we've been together forever! |
| 01:21:22 |
So were my balls, |
| 01:21:24 |
What? |
| 01:21:25 |
Valentine, go to work. |
| 01:21:36 |
Hey, fellas! |
| 01:21:38 |
Hey. Heard you guys have been |
| 01:21:44 |
You mind if I take a look at it? |
| 01:21:47 |
Oh, what do you know? |
| 01:21:51 |
It's impressive. |
| 01:21:53 |
Let's go down the list, |
| 01:21:56 |
Nootzie! Hey, you remember that time |
| 01:22:01 |
and dragged your limp body out? |
| 01:22:03 |
Even though Chuck's leg was broken, |
| 01:22:07 |
I mean, that was pretty |
| 01:22:10 |
Wow. Renaldo! |
| 01:22:13 |
Man, I remember your first day |
| 01:22:16 |
Remember you were so scared |
| 01:22:19 |
And Chuck and I, |
| 01:22:21 |
we cleaned you up |
| 01:22:23 |
You begged us not to tell anyone, |
| 01:22:25 |
Let's ask. |
| 01:22:26 |
You guys hear that story before right now? |
| 01:22:29 |
No, but it's hilarious. |
| 01:22:31 |
Yeah, it is hilarious. |
| 01:22:35 |
Tony! Nice signature. |
| 01:22:38 |
Hey, is that the same one you used |
| 01:22:41 |
when you gambled away |
| 01:22:44 |
I guess his money wasn't |
| 01:22:46 |
or keep your wife |
| 01:22:48 |
Again? |
| 01:22:50 |
I guess Chuck's |
| 01:22:52 |
to work next to big strong heroes |
| 01:22:56 |
Oh, look at that. Fire. |
| 01:22:58 |
Well, I hope it's not a bad one, |
| 01:22:59 |
'cause the faggot who's been |
| 01:23:01 |
is now, thanks to you, |
| 01:23:08 |
"That's when Sadie said, |
| 01:23:10 |
"'Love will always help you |
| 01:23:14 |
Sleeping. Sleeping. |
| 01:23:20 |
That was easy. |
| 01:23:57 |
Paula, you know I love you. |
| 01:24:02 |
I gotta. |
| 01:24:23 |
Hey. |
| 01:24:26 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:24:28 |
Me, too. |
| 01:24:31 |
That stuff I said... |
| 01:24:32 |
I know. |
| 01:24:35 |
Can I sleep in the bed tonight? |
| 01:24:40 |
I'd like that. |
| 01:24:43 |
All right. |
| 01:24:46 |
Come here. |
| 01:24:57 |
Handle with care. |
| 01:25:00 |
Larry... |
| 01:25:03 |
Don't let him sleep |
| 01:25:08 |
Don't do the voice. |
| 01:25:10 |
Okay, then. |
| 01:25:11 |
Hey! Hey, hey! |
| 01:25:13 |
You ready for your big day, |
| 01:25:15 |
Big day? |
| 01:25:16 |
My audition, Dad. Me and Uncle Chuck |
| 01:25:20 |
He wanted to work with you, |
| 01:25:23 |
Why don't you do one last rehearsal, |
| 01:25:27 |
Fabulicious! |
| 01:25:29 |
Did you hear that? |
| 01:25:31 |
Hey, come on, come on. |
| 01:25:33 |
May, me, my, mo, mo |
| 01:25:37 |
Anything you can do, I can do better |
| 01:25:42 |
No, you can't |
| 01:25:45 |
No, you can't |
| 01:25:46 |
Yes, I can, yes, I can |
| 01:25:48 |
Yes, he can! Hit it! |
| 01:25:51 |
There's my star! |
| 01:25:53 |
Turn it around, and a flip, flip, flip, |
| 01:25:58 |
Double-time! |
| 01:26:05 |
And a Russian split! |
| 01:26:06 |
Oh, you nailed it! |
| 01:26:09 |
My kid is pretty awesome. |
| 01:26:10 |
There's only one guy I know |
| 01:26:12 |
Who? The homeless guy from our wedding. |
| 01:26:16 |
That dude was |
| 01:26:21 |
Balls and wieners. |
| 01:26:23 |
Is it true? |
| 01:26:24 |
Alex? |
| 01:26:28 |
Look at this. |
| 01:26:30 |
Sixteen depositions from women |
| 01:26:33 |
over the last year and a half. |
| 01:26:34 |
Just 16? |
| 01:26:36 |
Thank God the 500 other ones |
| 01:26:38 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:26:41 |
Alex, know what it is? |
| 01:26:44 |
Chuck's... |
| 01:26:46 |
He's got a bit of a problem. |
| 01:26:48 |
He messes around |
| 01:26:52 |
he's ashamed of being gay. |
| 01:26:55 |
Now, is it all just about you, |
| 01:26:57 |
or do you really just don't consider |
| 01:27:00 |
No, I don't. |
| 01:27:06 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:27:08 |
Guys, guys, the shit is |
| 01:27:11 |
And if I'm gonna defend you, |
| 01:27:12 |
I have to know the truth. |
| 01:27:14 |
You have to look me in the eyes |
| 01:27:18 |
and that this marriage |
| 01:27:20 |
Alex, we're gay, okay? |
| 01:27:22 |
And we are married. |
| 01:27:29 |
It's real. |
| 01:27:33 |
Can you help us out? |
| 01:27:35 |
Okay. |
| 01:27:37 |
Okay. This investigation is |
| 01:27:40 |
They are gonna quiz you |
| 01:27:43 |
every aspect |
| 01:27:45 |
But since you guys are telling the truth, |
| 01:27:51 |
Just for the record, I thought |
| 01:27:55 |
Does that help us out at all? |
| 01:28:04 |
Let's go over it again. |
| 01:28:07 |
April 26th. Taurus. |
| 01:28:09 |
Got it. |
| 01:28:10 |
Yours? |
| 01:28:11 |
September 9th. Virgo. |
| 01:28:13 |
How about |
| 01:28:15 |
That would be |
| 01:28:17 |
I can tell you |
| 01:28:20 |
Whoa! |
| 01:28:47 |
I love you, Mr. February! |
| 01:28:50 |
You're going down! |
| 01:28:56 |
I'm on fire! Help me! |
| 01:28:58 |
We're all with you, Larry! |
| 01:29:00 |
Fear the queer! |
| 01:29:12 |
Thou shalt not lie with men! |
| 01:29:14 |
All right, Mr. February, |
| 01:29:17 |
let's go show these guys |
| 01:29:20 |
What the heck? |
| 01:29:35 |
What are you guys doing here? |
| 01:29:36 |
We're here to apologize and back you up, |
| 01:29:40 |
Yeah, we all lost a lot of friends on this job |
| 01:29:44 |
We don't want to lose two more |
| 01:29:47 |
Yeah. We're partners for life. |
| 01:29:50 |
Not partners like youse two, |
| 01:29:52 |
but you know what I mean. |
| 01:29:54 |
Yeah. |
| 01:29:56 |
I love youse guys. |
| 01:29:58 |
That's all right, man. |
| 01:29:59 |
Molest him! No, I'm just kidding. |
| 01:30:06 |
Hey, Chuckie. |
| 01:30:08 |
I gotta ask you something. |
| 01:30:10 |
...why'd you pick Larry? |
| 01:30:12 |
I mean, I work out, |
| 01:30:16 |
Am I not good-looking enough for you |
| 01:30:19 |
No, no, no. |
| 01:30:21 |
You're a 10. |
| 01:30:23 |
I just like them chubby. |
| 01:30:28 |
I'm a 10! |
| 01:30:30 |
You hear that? I'm a 10! |
| 01:30:33 |
On a scale to 100. |
| 01:30:35 |
You're just jealous |
| 01:30:40 |
Good morning, everyone. |
| 01:30:43 |
and I'll be presiding |
| 01:30:46 |
It's going to be a long day, |
| 01:30:50 |
and just get started. Mr. Fitzer. |
| 01:30:58 |
Thank you, Your Councilship. |
| 01:31:07 |
It's for later. |
| 01:31:10 |
Mr. Valentine, |
| 01:31:17 |
Love. |
| 01:31:19 |
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about! |
| 01:31:21 |
Please sit down, sir. |
| 01:31:22 |
Sorry. |
| 01:31:26 |
Mr. Levine. |
| 01:31:29 |
Sixteen local women |
| 01:31:32 |
sexual relations with you |
| 01:31:36 |
including four Canadian strippers |
| 01:31:44 |
That's true. I did have |
| 01:31:50 |
but I was kind of having |
| 01:31:55 |
Larry's forgiven me for that. |
| 01:31:57 |
And that's all that counts to me |
| 01:32:00 |
That's right, Fitzer, |
| 01:32:01 |
One more and you're out, sir. |
| 01:32:04 |
Sorry, sir, you're cool. He sucks. |
| 01:32:07 |
We should question them ex parte. |
| 01:32:09 |
Gentlemen. |
| 01:32:11 |
At this time, |
| 01:32:14 |
Mr. Levine, please step outside. |
| 01:32:18 |
Yeah. No problem. |
| 01:32:23 |
I'll miss you. |
| 01:32:25 |
I'll miss you, too, buddy. |
| 01:32:27 |
I like it rough! |
| 01:32:28 |
One for the road. |
| 01:32:30 |
Like it rough. |
| 01:32:32 |
I did the cooking |
| 01:32:36 |
The toilet was thankful. |
| 01:32:37 |
He ain't the greatest chef in the world. |
| 01:32:41 |
We met back in the fire academy in 1987. |
| 01:32:45 |
I was top of our class. |
| 01:32:47 |
He burned off his eyebrows first day. Gone. |
| 01:32:49 |
Larry tried to eat the fire, |
| 01:32:52 |
His favorite song, |
| 01:32:56 |
You're Beautiful by James Blunt. |
| 01:33:00 |
You're beautiful |
| 01:33:02 |
Just gets me every time. |
| 01:33:04 |
You're beautiful |
| 01:33:07 |
That is a nice song. |
| 01:33:10 |
The thing he likes most about me |
| 01:33:14 |
All of them. |
| 01:33:15 |
I'd say my sweet, sensitive eyes, |
| 01:33:22 |
The worst day |
| 01:33:24 |
This little kid fell |
| 01:33:27 |
Chuck was the first one there. |
| 01:33:29 |
I dove in. |
| 01:33:30 |
He pulled him out. |
| 01:33:32 |
I worked on him. |
| 01:33:33 |
Worked on him, worked on him, but... |
| 01:33:36 |
And Larry stayed with me |
| 01:33:39 |
I just couldn't get that kid |
| 01:33:46 |
When my wife died... |
| 01:33:48 |
That was the worst. |
| 01:33:51 |
...I collapsed. |
| 01:33:52 |
He knew it was coming, but... |
| 01:33:53 |
What we have, |
| 01:33:57 |
He's the best man I know. |
| 01:33:59 |
I'd do anything for him. |
| 01:34:02 |
I love him. |
| 01:34:04 |
I love him. |
| 01:34:08 |
What's going on? |
| 01:34:10 |
It was good. |
| 01:34:11 |
You want me to grab those? |
| 01:34:13 |
I'm sorry? |
| 01:34:14 |
I says are we done yet? |
| 01:34:16 |
Not quite. They want to talk to the kids. |
| 01:34:20 |
Now, why don't you tell us |
| 01:34:24 |
Dad and Uncle Chuck |
| 01:34:26 |
Do you know why? |
| 01:34:27 |
'Cause they do everything together. |
| 01:34:29 |
Just like Will and Grace. |
| 01:34:36 |
It is kind of an unusual situation, isn't it? |
| 01:34:40 |
Having two fathers? |
| 01:34:42 |
I don't have two fathers. |
| 01:34:46 |
I have my daddy, |
| 01:34:47 |
and Uncle Chuck is more like a mommy, |
| 01:34:52 |
Why am I the woman? |
| 01:34:56 |
Okay, that's all, thank you. |
| 01:34:57 |
Bottlenose dolphins. |
| 01:34:59 |
Orcas, gray whales, harbor seals |
| 01:35:03 |
Huh? |
| 01:35:05 |
Species that sometimes mate |
| 01:35:07 |
Bottlenose dolphins, orcas, gray whales, |
| 01:35:13 |
I didn't know that. |
| 01:35:16 |
Thank you, my dear. |
| 01:35:21 |
Remind me never to go skinny-dipping |
| 01:35:29 |
I just have to say |
| 01:35:35 |
He's gay, too? |
| 01:35:36 |
That's right, fellas, I'm gay. |
| 01:35:38 |
You guys have |
| 01:35:40 |
No, no problem. |
| 01:35:45 |
And Chuck and Larry, |
| 01:35:47 |
you've inspired me |
| 01:35:51 |
Wherever he may be. |
| 01:35:53 |
Hey, I'm a 10. I'm a 10. |
| 01:35:56 |
You're not my type. Sorry. |
| 01:35:59 |
Fitzer, can we wrap this up? |
| 01:36:01 |
I just have one more question to ask, |
| 01:36:05 |
if these gentlemen would |
| 01:36:07 |
By all means, Mr. Fitzer. |
| 01:36:10 |
Chuck, Larry, |
| 01:36:12 |
would you say that there's a fair amount |
| 01:36:18 |
Absolutely. |
| 01:36:19 |
More passion than you can imagine, buddy. |
| 01:36:20 |
Yes. |
| 01:36:22 |
Now, if you'd be so kind, |
| 01:36:26 |
You'd like to... |
| 01:36:28 |
Councilman Banks, my clients have been |
| 01:36:31 |
And to ask for a display of intimacy |
| 01:36:34 |
is simply demeaning. |
| 01:36:35 |
I'm afraid I have to agree. |
| 01:36:38 |
from a hearing about fraud |
| 01:36:43 |
I'm just saying, |
| 01:36:45 |
that if these two men are |
| 01:36:48 |
I don't see why |
| 01:36:50 |
I'm just asking for one kiss, Councilman. |
| 01:36:53 |
Yeah! Come on, fellas, |
| 01:36:56 |
I will not stand for it! This is unbelievable! |
| 01:37:00 |
Hey, come on, no. |
| 01:37:03 |
It's demeaning to us. |
| 01:37:04 |
Plus, we don't want to get you all horny. |
| 01:37:08 |
Kiss! Kiss! |
| 01:37:13 |
Order. |
| 01:37:15 |
Order! |
| 01:37:18 |
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! |
| 01:37:19 |
I'm not doing this, Alex. |
| 01:37:21 |
You know what? |
| 01:37:24 |
Well? |
| 01:37:27 |
I guess it's showtime. |
| 01:37:31 |
Going in straight... |
| 01:37:32 |
Coming out gay? |
| 01:38:04 |
Enough! I'd rather change |
| 01:38:09 |
than see two straight guys kissing. |
| 01:38:10 |
But we're not straight. |
| 01:38:12 |
We're not. |
| 01:38:13 |
Can't you deal with that? |
| 01:38:16 |
If these gentlemen are gay, |
| 01:38:19 |
Anybody seen me |
| 01:38:21 |
I didn't think so. |
| 01:38:23 |
And who might you be, sir? |
| 01:38:25 |
Captain Phineas J. Tucker, Councilman. |
| 01:38:27 |
You may search my record. |
| 01:38:30 |
from Mayor Dinkins, Mayor Koch and, |
| 01:38:33 |
And let me tell you something. |
| 01:38:37 |
They lied on a government form |
| 01:38:40 |
which is despicable. |
| 01:38:42 |
But interestingly enough, Excellency, |
| 01:38:46 |
even though they were |
| 01:38:48 |
I actually believe |
| 01:38:50 |
What good are you speaking of, Captain? |
| 01:38:52 |
Well, first off, |
| 01:38:54 |
they let us know |
| 01:38:57 |
you go beyond extraordinary |
| 01:39:00 |
Whenever, whatever. |
| 01:39:02 |
Then they apparently inspired |
| 01:39:05 |
to come out of his super-sized closet, |
| 01:39:08 |
thus releasing his rage |
| 01:39:09 |
and preventing what looked like to be |
| 01:39:16 |
And most importantly, |
| 01:39:18 |
they showed us |
| 01:39:21 |
be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, |
| 01:39:26 |
pansexual, transsexual, omnisexual, |
| 01:39:28 |
or that thing where the chick ties the belt |
| 01:39:35 |
it has absolutely nothing to do |
| 01:39:53 |
It's true, Councilman Banks. |
| 01:39:59 |
Let them know. |
| 01:40:00 |
We're not gay. |
| 01:40:03 |
No. |
| 01:40:05 |
Unfortunately, we hurt people, |
| 01:40:09 |
people we wouldn't want to hurt |
| 01:40:14 |
For the record, |
| 01:40:18 |
Don't use it. |
| 01:40:21 |
but I was ignorant. |
| 01:40:24 |
It's like "kike" for me. |
| 01:40:27 |
Or "fat boy" for me. |
| 01:40:31 |
It stings a little |
| 01:40:33 |
I didn't know that. |
| 01:40:34 |
I only do it 'cause you do it. |
| 01:40:36 |
What is this? Gays of Our Lives? |
| 01:40:40 |
Shall we cue the violins? |
| 01:40:43 |
This isn't a folk concert, |
| 01:40:45 |
And I believe I hear the sound |
| 01:40:51 |
for stealing from the City of New York. |
| 01:40:54 |
What exactly have we stolen? Nothing! |
| 01:40:58 |
Due to a weird rule |
| 01:41:01 |
my friend Larry here had |
| 01:41:03 |
The system may be flawed at times, |
| 01:41:06 |
"I'm in a calendar!" |
| 01:41:10 |
But it's the law. |
| 01:41:16 |
I'm sorry, |
| 01:41:19 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:41:20 |
Daddy! |
| 01:41:23 |
Councilman Banks. Councilman. |
| 01:41:26 |
Well, you better |
| 01:41:28 |
because I'm going |
| 01:41:30 |
How is that, Captain? |
| 01:41:32 |
I'm a co-conspirator. |
| 01:41:35 |
from day one, |
| 01:41:37 |
Captain! |
| 01:41:38 |
Yeah, he didn't know nothing. |
| 01:41:39 |
Fine. I'll have all three of you arrested. |
| 01:41:44 |
Slap some cuffs on me, |
| 01:41:48 |
I drove them to the airport. |
| 01:41:50 |
I picked out Chuck's dress. |
| 01:41:51 |
Yeah, I knew about it. |
| 01:41:52 |
Dress? Why does everybody |
| 01:41:55 |
Is it the way I walk? |
| 01:41:57 |
And I caught the bouquet! |
| 01:42:02 |
See, that's the way it works |
| 01:42:04 |
You throw one of us in the fire, |
| 01:42:08 |
You throw one of us in jail, |
| 01:42:12 |
So? What's it gonna be? |
| 01:42:18 |
Everything would have been fine |
| 01:42:20 |
me and Larry make out |
| 01:42:22 |
Then you had to go |
| 01:42:24 |
I am your commanding officer. |
| 01:42:27 |
Not in here you're not, |
| 01:42:29 |
No, in here you're the big mouth |
| 01:42:32 |
We should whup your ass! |
| 01:42:33 |
Yeah! |
| 01:42:35 |
That's right. |
| 01:42:37 |
Hey, Chuck. |
| 01:42:38 |
Jeez, Larry. What? |
| 01:42:40 |
Free Chuck and Larry! |
| 01:42:45 |
What? |
| 01:42:47 |
Yo, dum-dums! You got a visitor. |
| 01:42:53 |
Well, gentlemen, |
| 01:42:56 |
Mr. Levine, Mr. Valentine. |
| 01:42:57 |
All right. |
| 01:42:59 |
The city would like to offer you a deal. |
| 01:43:02 |
We're willing to drop all charges |
| 01:43:05 |
with two conditions. |
| 01:43:06 |
One, you plead guilty |
| 01:43:10 |
The charge is reduced to a misdemeanor, |
| 01:43:13 |
and the city saves face. |
| 01:43:15 |
Done. |
| 01:43:16 |
Two, you are celebrities |
| 01:43:20 |
They've obviously |
| 01:43:22 |
they think you're heroes. |
| 01:43:25 |
Now, raising money |
| 01:43:29 |
and the community has |
| 01:43:33 |
Whatever it takes. |
| 01:43:34 |
What do you need us to do? |
| 01:44:16 |
These two guys right here talking |
| 01:44:19 |
Making a commitment |
| 01:44:23 |
Now before, they were on the down-low, |
| 01:44:29 |
Now, in a lie, |
| 01:44:33 |
It never ends. |
| 01:44:35 |
You know? |
| 01:44:38 |
'Cause that has a bunch of, |
| 01:44:41 |
This one is a big circle of... |
| 01:44:42 |
Okay, you know, wrap up the circle thing. |
| 01:44:44 |
Moving on. |
| 01:44:45 |
I'm gonna move quicker now. |
| 01:44:48 |
Do you, Kevin "Butterfly" McDonough, |
| 01:44:51 |
take Fred G. Duncan to be |
| 01:44:57 |
I dizoo. |
| 01:44:59 |
And do you, Fred G. Duncan, |
| 01:45:02 |
take this guy over here |
| 01:45:05 |
I do. |
| 01:45:07 |
Well, then, by the power vested in me |
| 01:45:08 |
by the Commonwealth of Canada |
| 01:45:11 |
which has always been very pro-gay, |
| 01:45:15 |
it's my pleasure to now pronounce |
| 01:45:53 |
There's my lawyer. |
| 01:45:56 |
You don't wanna dance, do you? |
| 01:45:58 |
I don't think so. |
| 01:46:01 |
Your brother forgave me. |
| 01:46:03 |
Well, my brother wasn't the one |
| 01:46:08 |
You mean you only let me touch your boobs |
| 01:46:11 |
That's sexist. |
| 01:46:12 |
I could bring that to the courtroom. |
| 01:46:18 |
Look at Larry, though. |
| 01:46:21 |
Looks like he took my advice |
| 01:46:23 |
Which is great for him, but I don't |
| 01:46:27 |
I mean, these bracelets here... |
| 01:46:34 |
I haven't taken this thing off |
| 01:46:40 |
Yeah, that's what I thought. |
| 01:46:57 |
Well, you've got about 30 seconds |
| 01:47:02 |
Really? |
| 01:47:04 |
And this is my jam, too. |
| 01:47:08 |
What a delicious-looking cake! |
| 01:47:11 |
Oh, maybe Tori |
| 01:47:14 |
That's nice. You gay, her father. |
| 01:47:17 |
No, I'm not gay. |
| 01:47:19 |
Oh, it's okay, man. |
| 01:47:22 |
I don't have to come out! |
| 01:47:23 |
Which one's your husband? |
| 01:47:25 |
No, no! The lady in there. |
| 01:47:27 |
Which guy? |
| 01:47:28 |
No, no guy. No. |
| 01:47:29 |
Hey, you know when you lie, |
| 01:47:32 |
I'm not lying! |
| 01:47:39 |
~ N3krA AnD L3prA ~ |
