|
In Memoria Di Me In Memory of Myself
|
| 00:00:17 |
I need to have an ideal, |
| 00:00:22 |
I don't want to keep chasing after |
| 00:00:25 |
the same freedom that everyone wants. |
| 00:00:29 |
It's false. |
| 00:00:32 |
It's false freedom. |
| 00:00:36 |
What kind of life |
| 00:00:39 |
I have lived without depriving myself |
| 00:00:43 |
I have loved. |
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And yet it seemed |
| 00:00:51 |
that I had nothing more to give. |
| 00:00:56 |
And my heart suffered. |
| 00:01:00 |
But I buried it inside me |
| 00:01:07 |
Anyway, for everyone else, |
| 00:01:14 |
I started losing sleep |
| 00:01:19 |
to look around and find |
| 00:01:27 |
I don't know why |
| 00:01:30 |
and reading the Gospel. |
| 00:01:37 |
It's hard to explain, but... |
| 00:01:40 |
a new way of being |
| 00:01:44 |
occurred to me. |
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What do you want to become? |
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A person. |
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IN MEMORY OF MYSELF |
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Come in. |
| 00:03:19 |
Please be seated. |
| 00:03:30 |
Congratulations, you have passed |
| 00:03:33 |
of isolation over the last few days. |
| 00:03:36 |
Tomorrow, you will encounter |
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Silence which sharpens discernment, |
| 00:03:44 |
which will judge a vocation. |
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If there is one. |
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As you know, this is a period |
| 00:03:53 |
It is a question of turning |
| 00:03:57 |
of changing the way you have looked |
| 00:04:04 |
To obtain this new perspective, |
| 00:04:06 |
we must envelop ourselves |
| 00:04:10 |
We are not accustomed |
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which speaks deep within us. |
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Where God dwells. |
| 00:04:23 |
The rules of the house |
| 00:04:27 |
You will learn this. |
| 00:04:30 |
Some of them |
| 00:04:34 |
They will challenge |
| 00:04:38 |
Your brothers |
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as you should look out for them. |
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Indicating the shortcomings |
| 00:04:51 |
is an act of charity. |
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It is like self-denunciation, |
| 00:04:58 |
the dark side of yourself |
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which needs |
| 00:05:04 |
Finally, do not forget that |
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while you are here to test the Order, |
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the Order will be testing you. |
| 00:05:15 |
After you. |
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I would like to introduce |
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Come. |
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This is the community |
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The retired Fathers, |
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the Father Superiors |
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With time, |
| 00:05:59 |
- Please be seated. |
| 00:06:05 |
We thank you, Father, for the food |
| 00:06:09 |
In the name of the Father, |
| 00:07:14 |
And these are our quarters. |
| 00:07:19 |
Follow me. |
| 00:07:40 |
You live here. |
| 00:07:46 |
Have you met Fausto? |
| 00:08:00 |
It's basic, |
| 00:08:04 |
The Father Master asked me |
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at the start. |
| 00:08:09 |
Anyway, it's the same everyday, |
| 00:08:12 |
barring exceptions. |
| 00:08:15 |
- Welcome. |
| 00:10:54 |
I am sorry. |
| 00:10:56 |
Hold this. You can fill up the bucket |
| 00:10:59 |
You can start |
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Then remember to put it back in here. |
| 00:11:05 |
When the bell rings, we start the |
| 00:11:08 |
Yes, yes, thank you. |
| 00:11:10 |
- He already gave them to me. |
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Leave it. |
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Come in. |
| 00:14:09 |
"If anyone wants to be my follower, |
| 00:14:13 |
take up his cross and follow me." |
| 00:14:18 |
Man's secret yet constant thought |
| 00:14:22 |
to ensure a material existence |
| 00:14:28 |
This desperate, useless quest |
| 00:14:33 |
Causes him |
| 00:14:37 |
True life, however, is loving Him |
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This is true life |
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It's your turn, Fausto. |
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Mark 8, 31-35. |
| 00:15:24 |
In reference to |
| 00:15:27 |
De Rienzo's 34. |
| 00:15:30 |
"If anyone wants to be my follower, |
| 00:15:33 |
let him renounce himself, |
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Well... |
| 00:15:39 |
This passage... |
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explains what it means |
| 00:15:51 |
The key phrase is as follows: |
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"Anyone who wants to save his life, |
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but anyone who loses his life |
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will save it". |
| 00:16:07 |
Well, |
| 00:16:11 |
the point is... |
| 00:16:18 |
what is meant by life? |
| 00:16:25 |
The... |
| 00:16:28 |
term in the Greek text, |
| 00:16:30 |
psyche, |
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corresponds to the Hebrew term |
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nephesh... |
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Let me start again. |
| 00:16:44 |
The Greek term psyche, life, |
| 00:16:46 |
corresponds to the Hebrew term |
| 00:16:51 |
Therefore, |
| 00:16:54 |
life is... |
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breath. |
| 00:17:08 |
But also... |
| 00:17:15 |
Personality, |
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I'm sorry. |
| 00:19:08 |
Well, |
| 00:19:12 |
at the end of the day, |
| 00:19:15 |
as usual, |
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we have come before the Lord |
| 00:19:29 |
Let's attempt to go over the events |
| 00:19:36 |
the encounters we've had. |
| 00:19:41 |
We think back with gratitude |
| 00:19:47 |
We think back also on the moments |
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when we were concentrating only |
| 00:21:34 |
Fausto... |
| 00:23:54 |
"It is great not to be subject |
| 00:23:59 |
but it is far greater to remain |
| 00:24:05 |
Maximus the Confessor is telling us |
| 00:24:09 |
and therefore unreal. |
| 00:24:11 |
When for example we go through states |
| 00:24:15 |
we say that it was nothing, |
| 00:24:19 |
It was only the appearance, |
| 00:24:22 |
Therefore I tell you that |
| 00:24:24 |
learn not to let it show. |
| 00:24:28 |
Train yourselves to remain impassive, |
| 00:24:33 |
You will see that it will become |
| 00:24:39 |
One day, in the desert of Egypt, |
| 00:24:42 |
to ask if |
| 00:24:45 |
The monk said that his first task |
| 00:24:49 |
and insult them. |
| 00:24:51 |
And then go back to them |
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The young man went but when |
| 00:24:58 |
"I have done what you told me, |
| 00:25:03 |
And the monk answered: "Come back |
| 00:25:08 |
Our aim is to become indifferent |
| 00:25:14 |
We must not desire |
| 00:25:18 |
health over illness, |
| 00:25:20 |
success rather than scorn, |
| 00:25:22 |
or a long life |
| 00:25:26 |
Those of us here, |
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strive only for what fulfils the aim |
| 00:25:33 |
To resemble God. |
| 00:29:42 |
We thank you, Lord, for the food... |
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Lord... |
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recognizing our own sins is greater |
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He who weeps for an hour for himself |
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is greater than he |
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He who recognizes his own weaknesses |
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is greater than he who sees an angel. |
| 00:30:12 |
He who follows Christ in secret |
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is greater than he |
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Nobody can recognize his own sins |
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without at the same time knowing God. |
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Not before, nor after. |
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At the very same instant. |
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The same identical intuition |
| 00:30:51 |
We thank you, Lord, |
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for the food that |
| 00:30:57 |
and that we ate in your presence. |
| 00:31:01 |
In the name of the Father, |
| 00:31:04 |
Amen. |
| 00:31:23 |
Soul of Christ, sanctify me, |
| 00:31:27 |
Blood of Christ, inebriate me, water |
| 00:31:32 |
Passion of Christ, comfort me. |
| 00:31:36 |
Good Lord, hear me |
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Do not let me stray from You. |
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Defend me from my evil enemy |
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Let me come to You to praise You and |
| 00:31:55 |
Soul of Christ, sanctify me, |
| 00:32:00 |
Blood of Christ... |
| 00:32:06 |
Defend me from my evil enemy |
| 00:32:11 |
Let me come to You to praise You and |
| 00:37:01 |
As you must have realized, |
| 00:37:06 |
Serious family matters forced him |
| 00:37:11 |
In the hope of his return one day, |
| 00:37:14 |
let us pray to the Lord |
| 00:37:21 |
We offer thanks to you, Lord Jesus. |
| 00:37:23 |
Watch over us that |
| 00:37:28 |
May you be blessed now |
| 00:37:31 |
In the name of the Father, the Son |
| 00:37:43 |
- The doctor's here. |
| 00:37:54 |
Father... |
| 00:37:57 |
I'm sorry to bother you. |
| 00:37:59 |
What is it? |
| 00:38:02 |
It's about Panella. |
| 00:38:04 |
I saw him leave |
| 00:38:08 |
- I heard noises and... |
| 00:38:16 |
Why are you lying, Father? |
| 00:38:21 |
Because it's right. |
| 00:38:23 |
And so it should be referred |
| 00:38:30 |
It is also right that Fausto left |
| 00:38:35 |
In any event, |
| 00:38:40 |
His parents came to pick him up. |
| 00:38:45 |
Do you require |
| 00:39:48 |
A community based on Christ |
| 00:39:56 |
But living alongside others and |
| 00:40:00 |
is a great opportunity for us |
| 00:40:05 |
How we appear to others and |
| 00:40:11 |
The comments of others serve |
| 00:40:15 |
the image |
| 00:40:18 |
Only humiliation can teach us |
| 00:40:24 |
Listen, Andrea, |
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to what your brothers |
| 00:40:35 |
You seem too sure of yourself. |
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You are too curious, |
| 00:40:47 |
You seem presumptuous. |
| 00:40:52 |
It seems like you are running away |
| 00:40:57 |
It feels like you are judging me. |
| 00:41:02 |
You seem cold, indifferent. |
| 00:41:08 |
I'm afraid of you, |
| 00:41:15 |
You seem vain. |
| 00:43:05 |
It's the new schedule |
| 00:43:08 |
It's tomorrow. |
| 00:43:11 |
You'll have to write it tonight. |
| 00:44:25 |
We have taken refuge here, |
| 00:44:28 |
the dwelling of God, |
| 00:44:30 |
that takes us in and absolves us |
| 00:44:34 |
What have we given up? |
| 00:44:37 |
Only that which |
| 00:44:40 |
Love so commonplace that |
| 00:44:45 |
We have discovered that |
| 00:44:48 |
Daily routines, rituals |
| 00:44:51 |
and liturgies which prevent us |
| 00:44:55 |
But this is still no guarantee |
| 00:44:59 |
We quote the Scriptures, |
| 00:45:02 |
meditate on the Gospel, |
| 00:45:04 |
but no one knows better than we do |
| 00:45:10 |
Should we blame ourselves for this? |
| 00:45:18 |
Is there another path for us, |
| 00:45:24 |
No. |
| 00:45:25 |
We know that we must be |
| 00:45:29 |
that when hearing the Gospel, |
| 00:45:35 |
That when sensing love, |
| 00:45:39 |
That when hoping for forgiveness, |
| 00:45:45 |
And when it should fall |
| 00:45:49 |
asks God to account for what it, |
| 00:45:53 |
and it alone, should have done. |
| 00:46:11 |
You are judging. |
| 00:46:18 |
There is no love in what you say. |
| 00:46:24 |
I don't pretend |
| 00:46:29 |
I am here to learn |
| 00:46:36 |
But love is |
| 00:46:44 |
I think people |
| 00:46:48 |
even if they have never read a word |
| 00:46:50 |
of the tons of literature |
| 00:46:57 |
How can you be |
| 00:47:02 |
We are called upon to explain |
| 00:47:13 |
The Gospel exists. |
| 00:47:16 |
He who explains it must give |
| 00:47:22 |
You are the Gospel when |
| 00:47:28 |
It is through you that the people |
| 00:47:34 |
If there weren't a single copy |
| 00:47:41 |
if I was told |
| 00:47:44 |
that Jesus Christ was only a lie... |
| 00:47:50 |
But if through someone else, |
| 00:47:52 |
I truly experienced Him myself, |
| 00:47:56 |
be certain... |
| 00:47:59 |
Be certain |
| 00:48:02 |
than with all the other |
| 00:53:56 |
Please be seated. |
| 00:54:11 |
The Father Master informs me |
| 00:54:13 |
that you show great ability |
| 00:54:18 |
In particular, he praised |
| 00:54:23 |
As you know, our job here |
| 00:54:26 |
is to enhance |
| 00:54:31 |
The work of the Lord |
| 00:54:37 |
the gifts He bestowed on us. |
| 00:54:45 |
Who are you? |
| 00:54:49 |
Why have you come here? |
| 00:54:53 |
Write about the process |
| 00:54:58 |
the reasons for it. |
| 00:55:00 |
Try to explain it. |
| 00:55:09 |
Personally, I would be happy |
| 00:55:27 |
I know it's hard at first. |
| 00:55:30 |
But try and keep at it, |
| 00:55:34 |
We are certain that |
| 00:55:44 |
I am counting on you, Andrea. |
| 00:59:56 |
Why are you following me? |
| 01:00:39 |
To be everything in life, |
| 01:00:44 |
I'd managed to give up |
| 01:00:50 |
It was all the same, I said. |
| 01:00:54 |
We're just ants. |
| 01:00:57 |
Ghosts. |
| 01:01:01 |
Then one evening, |
| 01:01:04 |
I went out into the street |
| 01:01:06 |
and made up my mind |
| 01:01:14 |
All I had to do to die |
| 01:01:24 |
I'm not pretending I was enlightened. |
| 01:01:29 |
It only lasted a second. |
| 01:01:34 |
And everything was so present. |
| 01:01:42 |
In the depths of it, |
| 01:01:46 |
I didn't feel alone anymore. |
| 01:01:54 |
I realized that evil |
| 01:01:58 |
was what I myself was doing, |
| 01:02:03 |
and that I needed forgiveness. |
| 01:02:08 |
Perhaps for the first time |
| 01:02:11 |
in my life, I felt... |
| 01:02:15 |
I felt loved. |
| 01:02:20 |
And so I... |
| 01:02:24 |
And so I came here, |
| 01:02:27 |
in order not to lose myself. |
| 01:02:35 |
But the silence |
| 01:02:38 |
of this church |
| 01:02:41 |
is empty. |
| 01:02:52 |
They need truth |
| 01:02:54 |
to be dead. |
| 01:03:01 |
They need truth to be... |
| 01:03:03 |
dead. |
| 01:03:09 |
Why are you here? |
| 01:03:12 |
I'm here for myself. |
| 01:03:20 |
Because the world won't change, |
| 01:03:22 |
if I don't change first. |
| 01:03:26 |
We aren't changing the world. |
| 01:03:29 |
We're only copying it. |
| 01:03:35 |
And why are you still here? |
| 01:03:45 |
Because I'm afraid. |
| 01:03:50 |
Who's in the infirmary? |
| 01:05:51 |
Come in. |
| 01:05:56 |
I hope I'm not disturbing you. |
| 01:06:00 |
Last night I overheard something |
| 01:07:05 |
What were you and Zanna |
| 01:07:18 |
Well? Answer me ! |
| 01:07:34 |
He has some doubts. |
| 01:07:37 |
He is asking himself questions. |
| 01:07:39 |
What do you mean, |
| 01:07:50 |
Well? |
| 01:08:01 |
Explain to your brothers |
| 01:08:11 |
He feels he is dying in here. |
| 01:08:27 |
Here we prepare you |
| 01:08:32 |
To be ready to serve Him |
| 01:08:35 |
whenever needed. |
| 01:08:45 |
You should be ready |
| 01:08:48 |
overcome diffidence and opposition, |
| 01:08:52 |
face wars |
| 01:08:55 |
and even martyrdom. |
| 01:09:02 |
And you must always be prepared |
| 01:09:05 |
to carry out |
| 01:09:15 |
If you are incapable |
| 01:09:21 |
you are free to return to the world. |
| 01:09:37 |
The doors remain open |
| 01:09:40 |
for those who wish to leave. |
| 01:09:49 |
The novitiate is when |
| 01:09:55 |
and the Order tests the novice. |
| 01:10:06 |
Do not forget this. |
| 01:10:10 |
Not all of you will see it through. |
| 01:11:50 |
"If your brother does something wrong, |
| 01:11:55 |
If he listens to you, you have |
| 01:28:09 |
I have decided to leave. |
| 01:28:20 |
If I stayed, |
| 01:28:26 |
I can't do it. |
| 01:28:30 |
Why should I? |
| 01:28:35 |
It would be madness. |
| 01:28:39 |
To God? |
| 01:28:43 |
But God is everywhere. |
| 01:28:46 |
He is in me. |
| 01:28:50 |
I'm taking him with me. |
| 01:29:04 |
What will you do? |
| 01:29:08 |
I don't know. |
| 01:29:12 |
I'm going to go in |
| 01:29:17 |
opposite to everyone in here. |
| 01:30:35 |
Who am I? |
| 01:30:41 |
Tell me who I am. |
| 01:30:55 |
Tell me why I'm here. |
| 01:31:09 |
Who am I? |
| 01:31:24 |
I pretend... |
| 01:31:28 |
I pretend... |
| 01:31:31 |
I'm pretending... |
| 01:31:37 |
I'm pretending ! |
| 01:31:39 |
I'm not able to love. |
| 01:32:26 |
I'm not able to love. |
| 01:33:06 |
It's not me you're looking for. |
| 01:33:13 |
It's not me. |
| 01:33:21 |
Do you understand? |
| 01:33:29 |
I'm worthless. |
| 01:33:49 |
I don't believe in anything. |
| 01:34:50 |
I'm coming with you. |
| 01:34:53 |
We're leaving tonight. |
| 01:35:09 |
Father. |
| 01:35:11 |
Andrea... |
| 01:35:16 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:35:19 |
Accepting who we are |
| 01:35:26 |
I'm sorry, Father. |
| 01:35:30 |
Andrea, |
| 01:35:34 |
make up your mind |
| 01:35:37 |
but a new beginning. |
| 01:37:49 |
Why did you come to me? |
| 01:37:54 |
To tell me that you want to be free? |
| 01:37:58 |
You have always been free here. |
| 01:38:02 |
You look at me with pride. |
| 01:38:06 |
You should know that I, too, |
| 01:38:09 |
spent some time chasing after |
| 01:38:16 |
Your freedom is a desperate freedom, |
| 01:38:21 |
shouting against |
| 01:38:30 |
But Christ did not descend |
| 01:38:36 |
He wasn't forcing man to believe, |
| 01:38:48 |
He let Himself be killed, |
| 01:38:52 |
to believe or not. |
| 01:38:57 |
To love Him. |
| 01:39:00 |
Or reject Him. |
| 01:39:10 |
What He was asking |
| 01:39:13 |
unconstrained love. |
| 01:39:19 |
But Christ had |
| 01:39:27 |
Humanity doesn't want to be free, |
| 01:39:30 |
but to be slaves. |
| 01:39:39 |
And so we, |
| 01:39:42 |
we above all others, |
| 01:39:44 |
have chosen His freedom. |
| 01:39:48 |
We, |
| 01:39:52 |
and we alone, |
| 01:39:56 |
that it is not the freedom of choice |
| 01:40:06 |
Not the love you desire, |
| 01:40:12 |
but the mystery. |
| 01:40:20 |
The terrifying mystery... |
| 01:44:52 |
I was created to carry out a plan |
| 01:44:58 |
I occupy a place in the eyes of God, |
| 01:45:01 |
in God's world, |
| 01:45:03 |
that no one else occupies. |
| 01:45:07 |
It doesn't matter if I am rich, |
| 01:45:10 |
poor, admired or |
| 01:45:15 |
God knows me and calls me by name. |
| 01:45:20 |
He has entrusted me with a task |
| 01:45:24 |
I have a mission |
| 01:45:26 |
and in some way |
| 01:45:30 |
God did not make me in vain. |
| 01:45:53 |
IN MEMORY OF MYSELF |
