|
Infidel The
|
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-- Captions by vitac -- |
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Captions paid for by |
| 00:00:34 |
[ arshad shouting in arabic ] |
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Reporter: Voices were raised |
| 00:00:46 |
At the home office decision |
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To allow militant egyptian |
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Into the u.K. |
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Al-masri, seen here preaching |
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Is a controversial figure |
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And has been linked |
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The reaction of the british |
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Has been mixed, |
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[ electronic pop music plays ] |
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¶ never say what you can he a ¶ |
| 00:01:16 |
¶ when voices whisper |
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Mommy, mommy, |
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One, two, three. |
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Move your arms. |
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[ speaking |
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[ doorbell rings ] |
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¶ cold comfort bound |
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That's it. |
| 00:01:34 |
[ doorbell rings ] |
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¶ there's someone else |
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Come on, darling. |
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¶ why don't you close |
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Darling, he's here. |
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Delivery man's here. |
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Is it all there? |
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Yeah. |
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[ sighs ] |
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Whoa! What do you want? |
| 00:02:11 |
A jihad |
| 00:02:14 |
Well, we, |
| 00:02:17 |
We surrender |
| 00:02:19 |
Saamiya: I wish you wouldn't |
| 00:02:21 |
I'm not being funny, |
| 00:02:22 |
But does lady gaga look |
| 00:02:25 |
It'll be |
| 00:02:27 |
You've got nothing |
| 00:02:28 |
I'm sure the weather |
| 00:02:29 |
I've already called time |
| 00:02:30 |
Oh, yeah, |
| 00:02:32 |
I'd help him sort out |
| 00:02:33 |
Ah, right, |
| 00:02:34 |
No, no, I was |
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Make sure you carry |
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Ta, mahmud. |
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Hey, ladies. |
| 00:02:41 |
[ music continues ] |
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¶ why don't you close |
| 00:02:55 |
Okay, mum. |
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¶ why can't you close |
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¶ why don't you close |
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¶ you'd see the other side |
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¶ other side of me ¶ |
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Whoa! |
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Weirdo! Aah! Weirdo! Aah! |
| 00:03:37 |
[ wind whistling ] |
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I wanted to speak to you |
| 00:04:03 |
What? Is it the -- |
| 00:04:06 |
Look, I know he's a bit |
| 00:04:08 |
Do what? |
| 00:04:10 |
Yeah. Readily, it is a bit |
| 00:04:14 |
[ tires squealing ] |
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Christ, bloody cabbies. |
| 00:04:21 |
Look, here's the thing -- |
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I think I know what you |
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Do you? |
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Yeah, uzma's a lovely girl, |
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For men, women are like |
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You know, |
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Till you've piled your plate up |
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So it's toppling |
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You got a bit of red meat, |
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A bit of turkey meat, |
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You get my drift? |
| 00:04:44 |
So, it's an all-you-can-eat |
| 00:04:47 |
Exactly. |
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Get off. |
| 00:04:50 |
Dad, the only woman |
| 00:04:52 |
I don't like buffets. |
| 00:04:54 |
I prefer sit-down meals |
| 00:04:56 |
Yeah, I know, I know, |
| 00:04:58 |
Where you always order |
| 00:04:59 |
Chicken karahi with chips |
| 00:05:01 |
Yeah, I do. |
| 00:05:03 |
So next time I need a dose |
| 00:05:05 |
I will call hanif kureishi. |
| 00:05:07 |
Dad, I need to tell you |
| 00:05:10 |
And I just need you |
| 00:05:14 |
Okay, all right. |
| 00:05:17 |
I'm zen. |
| 00:05:18 |
I'm gandhi. |
| 00:05:19 |
Go. Go for it. |
| 00:05:21 |
Right. Well -- |
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[ tires squealing ] |
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Stupid fuck. |
| 00:05:29 |
You stupid |
| 00:05:30 |
What's your fucking problem? |
| 00:05:34 |
[ classical music plays ] |
| 00:05:36 |
Wanker! |
| 00:05:39 |
Moron! |
| 00:05:46 |
All right, where were we? |
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I know uzma's mum |
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I'm not completely |
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Okay, well, um, she -- |
| 00:05:54 |
Hmm? |
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You know, she's obviously still |
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Especially the, uh -- |
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Would it upset you |
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Yes. |
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Although I -- |
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The point -- the point is she's |
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Yeah, I'm not surprised, |
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No, don't do |
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Look, what I'm trying |
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When did uzma's dad |
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Three years ago, |
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You know, um, |
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I was still so young, |
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I didn't want mum to even look |
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But now she's gone, too, |
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Uzma's flying out tomorrow |
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For her mum's wedding, |
| 00:06:31 |
When do we meet |
| 00:06:34 |
Well, um, they're all coming |
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And he wants |
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...Me, mum, you. |
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Okay, no problems. |
| 00:06:49 |
No. |
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Yeah. |
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No. |
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Yes. |
| 00:06:58 |
No! |
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That's fair enough, you know, |
| 00:07:02 |
Shut it! |
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Get in here! |
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Have you gone |
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Um, did you put |
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Don't change the subject! |
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God, isn't it enough that you |
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We get a whole fucking |
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Dad. |
| 00:07:27 |
Uh, wait a minute. |
| 00:07:30 |
Dad, come on. |
| 00:07:31 |
Look at this. |
| 00:07:34 |
I wrote a letter |
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Explaining why people like us |
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To wahhabi nutters |
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"this is an issue which should |
| 00:07:46 |
Whether sunni or shite." |
| 00:07:49 |
Yeah, well, I wrote a letter |
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But they didn't print it |
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We need his approval, |
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Give me one thing. |
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Give me one thing guaranteed |
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Than inviting |
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Into my family. |
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Look. |
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I just parked |
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It was two minutes! |
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My dead mum! |
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Tossers! |
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I don't believe it! |
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[ panting ] |
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They never come |
| 00:08:33 |
Not this time |
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Not unless |
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Was that you? |
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You fucking... |
| 00:08:46 |
[ classical music plays ] |
| 00:08:49 |
What's your problem, |
| 00:08:51 |
I'm trying to clear out |
| 00:08:54 |
[ speaking arabic ] |
| 00:08:56 |
You got something |
| 00:08:58 |
Is that what it is? |
| 00:09:00 |
Against mini-cab owners? |
| 00:09:02 |
Right, yeah, I got it. |
| 00:09:04 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 00:09:06 |
It's muslims, isn't it? |
| 00:09:12 |
Come out here. |
| 00:09:13 |
Stop it. Leave it. |
| 00:09:15 |
Fucking come out here! |
| 00:09:18 |
All right, I'm easy. Easy. |
| 00:09:22 |
Stop! Dad, stop it! |
| 00:09:25 |
It's not worth it! |
| 00:09:26 |
They think |
| 00:09:28 |
Come on. A minute ago, |
| 00:09:30 |
I don't mean cabbies. |
| 00:09:51 |
The car's at the pound |
| 00:09:53 |
I love this one. |
| 00:09:57 |
"he who looks after an orphan |
| 00:10:00 |
Ah. Yep. |
| 00:10:03 |
Because the prophet sallallahu |
| 00:10:06 |
I knew that, rashid. |
| 00:10:08 |
His father died |
| 00:10:10 |
You know, |
| 00:10:12 |
Yeah, well, the qur'an never |
| 00:10:16 |
Anyway, dad, |
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I really want |
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And I know her stepdad |
| 00:10:24 |
Yeah. |
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But we need him to think |
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[ scoffs ] |
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Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. |
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I meant observant ones, |
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Rashid, listen. |
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Look, I may not say my namaz |
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I may not even, |
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Every day |
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And, now and again, |
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A small sip of the old pale ale |
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But in here, in here, |
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Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, |
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Come on. |
| 00:10:57 |
I just need that |
| 00:11:00 |
When the time comes, |
| 00:11:01 |
I think maybe it's |
| 00:11:07 |
[ sighs ] |
| 00:11:10 |
All right. |
| 00:11:13 |
I promise that when |
| 00:11:17 |
Comes around... |
| 00:11:18 |
...I'll be very -- |
| 00:11:19 |
I'm joking. |
| 00:11:20 |
I promise that |
| 00:11:23 |
I will be the best muslim |
| 00:11:26 |
Hey? |
| 00:11:28 |
Come on. |
| 00:11:29 |
Come on, |
| 00:11:31 |
Subhan'allah, |
| 00:11:34 |
God, my dad's military service, |
| 00:11:37 |
You got mum's |
| 00:11:40 |
You got my birth... |
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Certificate. |
| 00:12:06 |
Saamiya? |
| 00:12:08 |
Huh? |
| 00:12:12 |
Where's my mother now? |
| 00:12:15 |
In jannah. |
| 00:12:18 |
She's flying with your father |
| 00:12:25 |
My father. |
| 00:12:41 |
Woman: |
| 00:12:42 |
I think we can think |
| 00:12:45 |
You were adopted |
| 00:12:48 |
From the whitechapel branch |
| 00:12:53 |
Waifs and strays? |
| 00:12:57 |
What was I, |
| 00:12:59 |
It's now simply called |
| 00:13:02 |
Right. |
| 00:13:05 |
So, who are |
| 00:13:08 |
Ah, we don't tend to use |
| 00:13:11 |
In these cases, mr. Nasir. |
| 00:13:12 |
Oh, what word |
| 00:13:14 |
Would you use "lazy" |
| 00:13:17 |
Or "couldn't quite be bothered |
| 00:13:19 |
"birth." |
| 00:13:21 |
Ah, okay, sorry. |
| 00:13:25 |
Can you not do that |
| 00:13:27 |
Yes, all right. |
| 00:13:28 |
If you wish to trace |
| 00:13:30 |
You will have to go |
| 00:13:32 |
That deal with that. |
| 00:13:33 |
They'll put you in touch |
| 00:13:35 |
...After which -- |
| 00:13:37 |
Just the real name, |
| 00:13:39 |
I'm sorry, |
| 00:13:41 |
Mrs. Keyes, please. |
| 00:13:43 |
In my culture, a man's name |
| 00:13:47 |
I'm afraid not. |
| 00:13:49 |
Just -- |
| 00:13:50 |
Look, you may have had |
| 00:13:53 |
Many waifs and strays |
| 00:13:55 |
Okay, well, |
| 00:13:58 |
I'm -- I'm sorry I'm taking |
| 00:14:01 |
No -- uh, you do -- |
| 00:14:06 |
So, there you go. |
| 00:14:09 |
Um, well, c-can you tell me |
| 00:14:12 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:14:14 |
No, no. |
| 00:14:16 |
You said you wouldn't tell me |
| 00:14:17 |
Look, I can't trace anything |
| 00:14:19 |
All right, all right. |
| 00:14:22 |
Will you go |
| 00:14:24 |
Yes, I'll be happy -- |
| 00:14:29 |
[ sighs ] |
| 00:14:30 |
Well, what is it? |
| 00:14:33 |
Jamal? |
| 00:14:36 |
Solly. |
| 00:14:39 |
Solly? Solly? |
| 00:14:43 |
No, there's got to be |
| 00:14:46 |
Can I just look at that, |
| 00:14:48 |
No, you said you'd go. |
| 00:14:49 |
That's before I knew my name |
| 00:14:51 |
Now, see here. |
| 00:14:53 |
Please, please, please. |
| 00:14:55 |
Mr. Nasir, |
| 00:14:57 |
I need to look at it. |
| 00:14:59 |
I need to look at it, |
| 00:15:02 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:15:05 |
Shimshiz-- |
| 00:15:08 |
I think it's pronounced |
| 00:15:09 |
Security. |
| 00:15:12 |
Yes. |
| 00:15:13 |
No. |
| 00:15:16 |
But that would mean |
| 00:15:19 |
I-I-I was -- |
| 00:15:21 |
Yes, mr. Nasir, |
| 00:15:23 |
As, indeed, it goes on to |
| 00:15:26 |
In common with many people |
| 00:15:29 |
You are, by birth, jewish. |
| 00:15:31 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:15:32 |
No, but I can't be. |
| 00:15:35 |
I'm so obviously not. |
| 00:15:37 |
[ scoffs ] |
| 00:15:39 |
Well, it's not what it says |
| 00:15:41 |
And you are also, |
| 00:15:43 |
Thank you. |
| 00:15:44 |
You find out |
| 00:15:46 |
And suddenly some bloke in |
| 00:15:48 |
That's ridiculous. |
| 00:15:49 |
¶ the virgin mary |
| 00:15:52 |
¶ the virgin mary |
| 00:15:55 |
¶ the virgin mary |
| 00:15:58 |
¶ and they say |
| 00:16:01 |
¶ he came from the glory ¶ |
| 00:16:04 |
¶ he came |
| 00:16:07 |
¶ he came from the glory ¶ |
| 00:16:10 |
¶ he came |
| 00:16:13 |
¶ oh, yes, believe us ¶ |
| 00:16:16 |
¶ oh, yes, believe us ¶ |
| 00:16:19 |
¶ he came |
| 00:16:22 |
[ folk music plays ] |
| 00:17:00 |
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. |
| 00:17:02 |
I'm sorry I drank some beer. |
| 00:17:04 |
I'm sorry I fancied that |
| 00:17:09 |
Please just make it |
| 00:17:17 |
Hello, george. |
| 00:17:19 |
Daniel, how are you? |
| 00:17:20 |
Very good. Very good. |
| 00:17:44 |
Easy, easy! |
| 00:17:46 |
Excuse me. Do you mind |
| 00:18:02 |
Man: A fabulous track there |
| 00:18:04 |
Or yusuf islam, |
| 00:18:07 |
Morning, jew. |
| 00:18:09 |
Morning. |
| 00:18:10 |
What would you like |
| 00:18:12 |
Crunchy bread. |
| 00:18:14 |
Sorry, |
| 00:18:15 |
Daddy? |
| 00:18:17 |
Can you do up my jews? |
| 00:18:21 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:18:24 |
Mmm. There's too much jew |
| 00:18:27 |
Sorry, did I say "tea"? |
| 00:18:33 |
Ah-jew! |
| 00:18:34 |
Ah-jew! |
| 00:18:35 |
Well, look, |
| 00:18:39 |
[ speaking hebrew ] |
| 00:18:41 |
Yes, good. |
| 00:18:44 |
I need to study this. |
| 00:18:47 |
[ bell tolls ] |
| 00:18:49 |
[ rock music playing, |
| 00:18:52 |
[ man singing indistinctly ] |
| 00:19:18 |
[ snoring ] |
| 00:19:19 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:19:22 |
Mahmud! |
| 00:19:24 |
[ speaking arabic ] |
| 00:19:26 |
Mahmud, wake up. |
| 00:19:30 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:19:32 |
Come, come. |
| 00:19:34 |
Oh, geez. |
| 00:19:35 |
You've fallen asleep. |
| 00:19:38 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 00:19:40 |
Oh, I got to go back. |
| 00:19:41 |
Christ, |
| 00:19:43 |
[ sighs ] |
| 00:19:46 |
Imam... |
| 00:19:47 |
Yes? What? |
| 00:19:49 |
There's something I'd like |
| 00:19:51 |
Is it about rashid |
| 00:19:52 |
I mean, I know it's |
| 00:19:55 |
That al-masri's her stepdad, |
| 00:19:57 |
No. Well, yeah. |
| 00:19:58 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:20:00 |
Here's the thing -- |
| 00:20:02 |
I've just found out something |
| 00:20:06 |
Ah, a difficult thing? |
| 00:20:08 |
[ sighs ] |
| 00:20:10 |
Something that deeply challenges |
| 00:20:14 |
Yes, yes, exactly. |
| 00:20:16 |
I think I know what it is |
| 00:20:18 |
You do? |
| 00:20:19 |
Yes. |
| 00:20:22 |
Really? |
| 00:20:24 |
I mean, the thing is, the qur'an |
| 00:20:27 |
Yes, of course. |
| 00:20:28 |
But islam is about mercy |
| 00:20:31 |
And my interpretation |
| 00:20:34 |
If you're gay, |
| 00:20:37 |
Oh, for christ's sake, |
| 00:20:39 |
Now, now, I know |
| 00:20:42 |
That ye who practice their lusts |
| 00:20:45 |
Rain down on them |
| 00:20:48 |
That's not actually -- |
| 00:20:50 |
But I think that brimstone |
| 00:20:52 |
Is already raining |
| 00:20:56 |
Yes, but -- |
| 00:20:57 |
And maybe that's enough |
| 00:20:58 |
No, well -- |
| 00:21:00 |
Now, the punishment for this |
| 00:21:04 |
Some say. |
| 00:21:06 |
But if you read my book, |
| 00:21:09 |
You'll find a whole host |
| 00:21:12 |
That when two men... |
| 00:21:14 |
[ speaking indistinctly ] |
| 00:21:23 |
Well, have you see those |
| 00:21:26 |
No. |
| 00:21:28 |
Well, agyness deyn |
| 00:21:29 |
So, of course, |
| 00:21:31 |
To be honest, they look a bit |
| 00:21:34 |
It's like having a club foot. |
| 00:21:36 |
Muna, mahmud didn't come home |
| 00:21:41 |
[ speaking indistinctly ] |
| 00:21:42 |
Just afraid to answer |
| 00:21:44 |
The thing is, right, |
| 00:21:46 |
We are all hezbollah now! |
| 00:21:49 |
Nabi, fish fingers? |
| 00:21:51 |
Kill the unbelievers! |
| 00:21:54 |
The thing is, |
| 00:21:57 |
That when men's mothers die, |
| 00:22:00 |
They're |
| 00:22:02 |
Hmm. Well, has he |
| 00:22:06 |
No. |
| 00:22:07 |
Tattoo? |
| 00:22:09 |
Back wax? |
| 00:22:10 |
Well, what |
| 00:22:13 |
That midlife crisis-y |
| 00:22:15 |
No. |
| 00:22:16 |
Honestly. |
| 00:22:19 |
What you have to do is, |
| 00:22:22 |
Keep an eye out for anything |
| 00:22:25 |
He's been near |
| 00:22:30 |
You think |
| 00:22:32 |
[ snickers ] |
| 00:22:35 |
Of course not! |
| 00:22:36 |
This is mahmud |
| 00:22:39 |
[ door opens, closes ] |
| 00:22:44 |
Mahmud? |
| 00:22:45 |
I need to take a shower. |
| 00:22:53 |
Jew! Jew! Jew! Jew! |
| 00:22:56 |
Aah! |
| 00:22:58 |
So, I'm dying to know. |
| 00:23:02 |
I don't know. |
| 00:23:03 |
It was a weird wedding -- |
| 00:23:05 |
Catering by al-qaeda. |
| 00:23:08 |
Check out |
| 00:23:16 |
Oh, jesus. |
| 00:23:17 |
I'm still hoping for an upgrade |
| 00:23:21 |
[ lau ghs ] |
| 00:23:23 |
So, how did it go |
| 00:23:25 |
Actually not bad, |
| 00:23:26 |
He seemed to take it |
| 00:23:28 |
And I'm keeping him sweet. |
| 00:23:29 |
I found this clip of this '80s |
| 00:23:32 |
And -- wow! |
| 00:23:34 |
Dad, you look great. |
| 00:23:38 |
[ lau ghs ] |
| 00:23:40 |
Mr. Nasir, |
| 00:23:42 |
Thank you. |
| 00:23:43 |
Um, can I use my computer, |
| 00:23:46 |
Yeah. |
| 00:23:48 |
Bye, rashid. |
| 00:23:50 |
And, mr. Nasir, |
| 00:23:55 |
Dad, look at this. |
| 00:23:57 |
It's a "support palestine" |
| 00:23:58 |
That uzma's stepdad's |
| 00:24:01 |
I thought we should go, |
| 00:24:03 |
Is the bloke with the hook |
| 00:24:06 |
You know I'm fond of him. |
| 00:24:07 |
Dad, it's a just cause, |
| 00:24:11 |
Oh, of course, yeah. |
| 00:24:13 |
Okay. Oh, I forgot to show you |
| 00:24:16 |
[ electronic pop music play s ] |
| 00:24:21 |
Eh? |
| 00:24:22 |
I've never seen this. |
| 00:24:24 |
It's your favorite. |
| 00:24:26 |
Gary page. |
| 00:24:27 |
So, what happened |
| 00:24:30 |
Oh, I don't know. |
| 00:24:31 |
He died or disappeared |
| 00:24:36 |
Stop! Stop! |
| 00:24:39 |
You morons! |
| 00:24:42 |
I always go |
| 00:24:43 |
It's when I fucking close |
| 00:24:45 |
Fuck off, you fucking paki! |
| 00:24:48 |
[ crowd boo ing ] |
| 00:24:49 |
Dad, I'm sorry. |
| 00:24:50 |
I hadn't watched it |
| 00:24:52 |
[ indistinct shouti ng ] |
| 00:24:58 |
I always knew |
| 00:25:02 |
Okay, so, um -- |
| 00:25:03 |
Oh, yeah, yeah. |
| 00:25:04 |
Thank you. |
| 00:25:06 |
Okay. |
| 00:25:42 |
[ scoffs ] |
| 00:26:24 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:26:25 |
Nothing. |
| 00:26:27 |
I just was wondering |
| 00:26:30 |
Order a new suit |
| 00:26:32 |
You know, |
| 00:26:34 |
Um, I don't know. |
| 00:26:37 |
Where were you last night? |
| 00:26:40 |
Last night, I-I stayed |
| 00:26:44 |
Yeah, just thinking, |
| 00:26:49 |
And stuff. |
| 00:26:51 |
All right. |
| 00:26:58 |
Wasif: Any driver at all -- |
| 00:27:00 |
Sharif: Oh, um, I got |
| 00:27:03 |
You know, |
| 00:27:04 |
To move some boxes |
| 00:27:06 |
Oh, yeah, yeah, |
| 00:27:07 |
Thank you, sharif. |
| 00:27:09 |
It's all right. |
| 00:27:10 |
Sharif? |
| 00:27:12 |
We're all friends, |
| 00:27:14 |
Yeah. |
| 00:27:16 |
I mean, we can tell |
| 00:27:18 |
I hope so. |
| 00:27:24 |
It's good to know. |
| 00:27:30 |
[ indistinct conversations ] |
| 00:27:37 |
That david schwimmer -- |
| 00:27:40 |
He's, uh, jewish, isn't he? |
| 00:27:43 |
He's got enough money |
| 00:27:45 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:27:47 |
Yeah, you're right, yeah -- |
| 00:27:50 |
They're all jews |
| 00:27:52 |
On tv? The whole country's |
| 00:27:55 |
It's basically |
| 00:27:58 |
Exactly, yeah. |
| 00:28:00 |
Yeah, bloody jews. |
| 00:28:02 |
I don't know |
| 00:28:03 |
They're people of the book, |
| 00:28:05 |
Yeah, people of the checkbook, |
| 00:28:08 |
[ laughter ] |
| 00:28:11 |
That's a good one -- |
| 00:28:13 |
[ laughing ] |
| 00:28:22 |
Oh, that's -- |
| 00:28:23 |
Yeah? |
| 00:28:26 |
Yeah, you know, |
| 00:28:29 |
Anyway, uh, very good. |
| 00:28:34 |
Jew scum! |
| 00:28:41 |
[ man speaking on radio ] |
| 00:28:43 |
It's here on the left. |
| 00:28:45 |
I put the cones |
| 00:29:17 |
[ doorbell ringing ] |
| 00:29:31 |
You got really fucking -- |
| 00:29:34 |
You american? |
| 00:29:36 |
[ british accent ] nah, I'm a -- |
| 00:29:38 |
Come on, move your cab. |
| 00:29:40 |
What happened to that |
| 00:29:43 |
You saw the space was marked. |
| 00:29:45 |
Well, great. I've lived here |
| 00:29:47 |
I'll park |
| 00:29:48 |
Just move it up a bit further |
| 00:29:51 |
I like that space. |
| 00:29:53 |
Oh, yeah, yeah, I see, |
| 00:29:54 |
Yeah, it's a bit like the |
| 00:29:57 |
Oh, here it is! |
| 00:29:59 |
The anti-semitic stuff! |
| 00:30:01 |
I'm not being |
| 00:30:02 |
What else you want |
| 00:30:04 |
Hymie? Kike? Huh? |
| 00:30:05 |
Bollocks. |
| 00:30:08 |
No, no, no. No, no, no. |
| 00:30:10 |
Yeah? Yeah? |
| 00:30:12 |
Yeah? Why not? |
| 00:30:17 |
I'm a jew. |
| 00:30:19 |
Shit! |
| 00:30:21 |
Don't you dare tell anyone. |
| 00:30:23 |
I'm the shoe bomber. |
| 00:30:25 |
No, listen to me. I just found |
| 00:30:28 |
My real parents... |
| 00:30:33 |
[ laughs, snorts ] |
| 00:30:36 |
Is that funny? |
| 00:30:37 |
Why should I believe you? |
| 00:30:39 |
Why the fuck |
| 00:30:41 |
Well, that's a point. |
| 00:30:44 |
No point in asking you to drop |
| 00:30:46 |
Because circumcised? |
| 00:30:47 |
Are you? We all are. |
| 00:30:51 |
I know. |
| 00:30:53 |
Nah, what are you |
| 00:30:54 |
Come on, word association. |
| 00:30:55 |
Car. |
| 00:30:57 |
Volvo. |
| 00:30:58 |
Right on. |
| 00:31:00 |
Uh, happy. |
| 00:31:01 |
Ish. |
| 00:31:03 |
Two out of three. |
| 00:31:04 |
Crystal. |
| 00:31:07 |
Nacht. |
| 00:31:08 |
Wow. Even I would have said, |
| 00:31:10 |
Still, |
| 00:31:11 |
Listen, listen, |
| 00:31:12 |
My real name -- |
| 00:31:14 |
Please don't do that. |
| 00:31:16 |
...Is solly shimshileewitz. |
| 00:31:19 |
Solly shimshileewitz? |
| 00:31:20 |
Now do you believe me? |
| 00:31:22 |
Why didn't they just call you |
| 00:31:24 |
And be done with it? |
| 00:31:25 |
It was nice talking to you, |
| 00:31:27 |
That's almost as jewy a name |
| 00:31:31 |
What did you say? |
| 00:31:32 |
Izzy shimshileewitz -- used |
| 00:31:35 |
There's an izzy shimshileewitz? |
| 00:31:37 |
Is he still alive? |
| 00:31:38 |
Fuck knows. |
| 00:31:40 |
Where are you going? |
| 00:31:41 |
To move my cab. |
| 00:31:43 |
What, 'cause you |
| 00:31:44 |
Yeah, welcome |
| 00:31:50 |
Would you like a chip? |
| 00:31:51 |
Got one. |
| 00:31:53 |
[ booing ] |
| 00:31:54 |
[ doorbell ringing ] |
| 00:32:02 |
Yes? |
| 00:32:04 |
I called earlier |
| 00:32:08 |
You the guy that phoned five |
| 00:32:11 |
Uh, yeah. |
| 00:32:14 |
'cause we jewish old-age homes |
| 00:32:16 |
Share info |
| 00:32:18 |
We're very tight |
| 00:32:20 |
Us jewish old-age homes -- |
| 00:32:21 |
Very tight. |
| 00:32:42 |
Dad? |
| 00:32:44 |
No! |
| 00:32:46 |
Firstly, |
| 00:32:49 |
Yeah, all right, I'm sorry. |
| 00:32:51 |
A-a-a-and secondly, |
| 00:32:52 |
I'm perhaps five years younger |
| 00:32:53 |
Yes, you're right. |
| 00:32:55 |
Yes. |
| 00:32:58 |
Is izzy shimshileewitz |
| 00:33:00 |
Yes. |
| 00:33:03 |
Can I go in, please? |
| 00:33:05 |
No, you don't understand. |
| 00:33:07 |
I'm his son...I think. |
| 00:33:10 |
Do you have some sort |
| 00:33:13 |
No, no, no, no. |
| 00:33:15 |
I was adopted. |
| 00:33:16 |
I've just found out my birth |
| 00:33:19 |
Really? |
| 00:33:20 |
What, and you're definitely |
| 00:33:22 |
Yes, yes. |
| 00:33:25 |
Look, I'm sorry, |
| 00:33:26 |
But as mr. Shimshileewitz's |
| 00:33:28 |
I have to think |
| 00:33:29 |
He's a really sick man now. |
| 00:33:30 |
Well, then, you have |
| 00:33:33 |
A muslim son? |
| 00:33:35 |
It would kill him |
| 00:33:37 |
[ sighs ] |
| 00:33:39 |
What do you know |
| 00:33:42 |
They've got big noses. |
| 00:33:46 |
They like money. |
| 00:33:48 |
Oh, they do. |
| 00:33:52 |
Okay, so, |
| 00:33:55 |
Look, what you need to do, |
| 00:33:57 |
Is think about what it means |
| 00:34:01 |
And then...We'll think |
| 00:34:07 |
By the way, |
| 00:34:10 |
Like a shriveled old man, |
| 00:34:11 |
Was it because of |
| 00:34:13 |
Because that is genetic, |
| 00:34:15 |
Right. |
| 00:34:17 |
[ monitor beeping ] |
| 00:34:28 |
[ door opens ] |
| 00:34:32 |
Dodi, you've come back |
| 00:34:36 |
Can I come in, please? |
| 00:34:52 |
[ tea kettle whistling ] |
| 00:35:01 |
[ whistling stops ] |
| 00:35:12 |
[ "la bamba" plays ] |
| 00:35:18 |
[ music stops ] |
| 00:35:19 |
[ music resumes ] |
| 00:35:22 |
[ music stops ] |
| 00:35:25 |
Two sugars. |
| 00:35:26 |
Thank you. |
| 00:35:28 |
Look... |
| 00:35:32 |
Leonard -- |
| 00:35:35 |
"lenny" to my very few friends. |
| 00:35:38 |
No, I don't drink. |
| 00:35:39 |
Right. Of course. |
| 00:35:40 |
Me, I've recently developed |
| 00:35:43 |
Mm. So, uh...Jews. |
| 00:35:50 |
Yeah? |
| 00:35:52 |
Tell me about them. |
| 00:35:55 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:35:58 |
Uh, well, let's see. |
| 00:36:02 |
I know. |
| 00:36:04 |
Let's start with me, |
| 00:36:08 |
As american as knish |
| 00:36:11 |
And slavish support |
| 00:36:13 |
You know, |
| 00:36:15 |
I didn't think |
| 00:36:18 |
In the whole fucking world, |
| 00:36:21 |
Britain, |
| 00:36:23 |
A jew in britain -- |
| 00:36:26 |
That's like an american driving |
| 00:36:29 |
[ british accent ] or a yank |
| 00:36:32 |
What's the bloody world |
| 00:36:34 |
[ normal voice ] |
| 00:36:36 |
In london alone, you've got |
| 00:36:37 |
Your hampstead |
| 00:36:40 |
You've got your peter |
| 00:36:42 |
You've got your hendon |
| 00:36:45 |
And scum of kosher scum, |
| 00:36:49 |
Of which heritage |
| 00:36:53 |
Who, by the way, in case you |
| 00:36:55 |
Why I came to this fucking |
| 00:36:58 |
And why I know so much |
| 00:37:02 |
Knish? |
| 00:37:05 |
A doughy, kosher, |
| 00:37:07 |
And then you've got |
| 00:37:09 |
You know, jews without angst, |
| 00:37:11 |
Who really are not jews |
| 00:37:13 |
[ laughing ] and then, of |
| 00:37:15 |
What in the fuck |
| 00:37:17 |
Hello? |
| 00:37:19 |
Yeah, yeah, adam. |
| 00:37:21 |
No, no, no, I'm gonna -- |
| 00:37:24 |
Wh-wh-what? Why? |
| 00:37:26 |
Oh, christ, why? |
| 00:37:28 |
Adam, you -- you -- |
| 00:37:31 |
Fuck off, |
| 00:37:37 |
Right. Well, I-I guess |
| 00:37:39 |
That was my -- |
| 00:37:42 |
Supposed to go to a bar mitzvah |
| 00:37:46 |
Now -- now I got |
| 00:37:49 |
It's just I hate going |
| 00:37:53 |
All those jews jewing it up |
| 00:37:56 |
[ clears throat ] |
| 00:38:01 |
What, you? You? |
| 00:38:03 |
Mm-hmm. |
| 00:38:04 |
[ laughs ] go -- |
| 00:38:07 |
Osama bin liner, |
| 00:38:10 |
No, no, no. Come on. |
| 00:38:12 |
You know? |
| 00:38:16 |
You call that a shrug? |
| 00:38:19 |
That's not a shrug. |
| 00:38:20 |
That's blending in. |
| 00:38:21 |
Look, |
| 00:38:24 |
Palms up, shoulders, |
| 00:38:29 |
[ moaning ] |
| 00:38:31 |
[ folk music plays ] |
| 00:38:45 |
¶ hey ¶ |
| 00:39:03 |
¶ hey ¶ |
| 00:39:10 |
¶ hey ¶ |
| 00:39:24 |
Oy. |
| 00:39:27 |
Oy. |
| 00:39:30 |
Hmm? |
| 00:39:31 |
Oy. |
| 00:40:18 |
Oy. |
| 00:40:20 |
Oy. |
| 00:40:22 |
Oy. |
| 00:40:24 |
Oy. |
| 00:40:37 |
[ classical music pl ays ] |
| 00:40:45 |
Doesn't it just make you |
| 00:40:47 |
All your possessions |
| 00:40:49 |
And pull them |
| 00:40:52 |
From your burning village? |
| 00:40:59 |
[ folk music plays ] |
| 00:41:12 |
¶ hey ¶ |
| 00:41:26 |
Oy! |
| 00:41:30 |
Oy. |
| 00:41:31 |
That's it. |
| 00:41:36 |
Yes! |
| 00:41:38 |
Fucking get in there! |
| 00:41:42 |
Great. |
| 00:41:57 |
Saamiya: Mahmud? |
| 00:41:59 |
[ door opens ] |
| 00:42:01 |
I need to call rashid. |
| 00:42:02 |
Hey, how you doing? |
| 00:42:04 |
Ah, you look smart. |
| 00:42:05 |
Thanks. |
| 00:42:08 |
Okay. |
| 00:42:09 |
Yeah, it's a work to-do. |
| 00:42:13 |
Nice. |
| 00:42:14 |
Hey, you look -- |
| 00:42:16 |
What? |
| 00:42:18 |
More rounded? Fat? Fat? |
| 00:42:20 |
No, you look great. |
| 00:42:22 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:42:24 |
Anyway, I came to tell you that |
| 00:42:27 |
That al-masri's |
| 00:42:28 |
Oh, shit. |
| 00:42:30 |
I promised him I'd go. |
| 00:42:31 |
Mahmud, we haven't |
| 00:42:36 |
This...Terrifying shithead |
| 00:42:38 |
Is gonna become |
| 00:42:40 |
Ah. |
| 00:42:42 |
Saamiya, look -- |
| 00:42:45 |
We meet him, |
| 00:42:47 |
And just we sort it out |
| 00:42:50 |
That's it. |
| 00:42:51 |
And besides, |
| 00:42:54 |
How meshugga can he be? |
| 00:42:56 |
Sorry? |
| 00:42:58 |
How many, you know, |
| 00:43:00 |
Sugars short of a very sweet cup |
| 00:43:04 |
You know, mahmud, |
| 00:43:06 |
I never thought I would end up |
| 00:43:08 |
Who thinks he looks good |
| 00:43:10 |
In a tottenham hotspur shirt |
| 00:43:13 |
Who teaches our 4-year-old |
| 00:43:16 |
And rather than get up |
| 00:43:20 |
That only happened |
| 00:43:21 |
Mm -- |
| 00:43:23 |
That rashid gave me |
| 00:43:26 |
I forgot to clean it. |
| 00:43:28 |
But none of that matters, |
| 00:43:29 |
Because the only thing |
| 00:43:31 |
Between a husband and a wife |
| 00:43:33 |
And you've always promised |
| 00:43:36 |
And I've always believed |
| 00:43:40 |
Should I? |
| 00:43:45 |
Of course. |
| 00:43:47 |
Of course. |
| 00:43:57 |
¶ I saw you walking |
| 00:44:04 |
¶ your mind as black |
| 00:44:11 |
¶ so was it the truth when |
| 00:44:17 |
¶ I thought |
| 00:44:24 |
[ singing indistinctly ] |
| 00:44:36 |
Hey. |
| 00:44:38 |
Yeah, |
| 00:44:40 |
What time |
| 00:44:42 |
Well, there's a rumor |
| 00:44:44 |
That he's been banned by the |
| 00:44:47 |
Which some people |
| 00:44:49 |
[ scoffs ] |
| 00:44:52 |
It's hot, though, |
| 00:44:54 |
Yeah. |
| 00:44:56 |
Whew. |
| 00:45:03 |
Dad, what is that |
| 00:45:18 |
I've brought this |
| 00:45:21 |
And one reason alone! |
| 00:45:26 |
[ crowd chanting |
| 00:45:27 |
[ shouting indistinctly ] |
| 00:45:32 |
Ow! Ow! |
| 00:45:49 |
Lenny: Okay, last run-through |
| 00:45:53 |
Hitler, "protocols |
| 00:45:55 |
Hitler, the fact that you're |
| 00:45:58 |
Oh, well, hey, well, |
| 00:46:00 |
There may be one or two, |
| 00:46:02 |
[ mumbling ] |
| 00:46:04 |
That's it? |
| 00:46:06 |
Okay. |
| 00:46:08 |
Have you memorized |
| 00:46:10 |
Yeah, but just a few. |
| 00:46:11 |
Just sprinkle in a few words |
| 00:46:14 |
You know, "schlep," |
| 00:46:17 |
"traipse"? That's an english |
| 00:46:20 |
It is? |
| 00:46:23 |
Ah, hello! |
| 00:46:26 |
It's so nice to meet you. |
| 00:46:29 |
Monty. |
| 00:46:30 |
Man: Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:46:32 |
Sammy and louie. |
| 00:46:36 |
[ cheers and applause ] |
| 00:46:46 |
Mazel tov! |
| 00:46:47 |
[ applause ] |
| 00:46:49 |
Okay, what kind of jew |
| 00:46:51 |
A smelly one? |
| 00:46:53 |
Hippy jew. |
| 00:46:55 |
Now a buddhist. |
| 00:46:56 |
A buddhist jew? |
| 00:46:58 |
Believes you should renounce |
| 00:47:01 |
But still keep |
| 00:47:02 |
Oof! |
| 00:47:04 |
I'd like to offer her |
| 00:47:08 |
What kind of jew is that? |
| 00:47:10 |
That is my ex-wife. |
| 00:47:13 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:47:15 |
With her wanking boyfriend, |
| 00:47:19 |
Maurice gross? |
| 00:47:20 |
Psychic investigator |
| 00:47:23 |
Julie. |
| 00:47:25 |
Denise. |
| 00:47:28 |
I'm so sorry to hear |
| 00:47:31 |
Yeah. |
| 00:47:34 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:47:36 |
I suppose |
| 00:47:38 |
Well, being |
| 00:47:42 |
It's a wisecrack. |
| 00:47:44 |
Oh. |
| 00:47:46 |
I thought you people -- |
| 00:47:48 |
For wisecracking, |
| 00:47:49 |
Ladies, this is |
| 00:47:53 |
Solomon shimshileewitz. |
| 00:47:55 |
Please, just call me "solly." |
| 00:47:56 |
How do you do? |
| 00:47:58 |
Hello. |
| 00:47:59 |
Lovely event, |
| 00:48:02 |
Yes, it's very, |
| 00:48:06 |
I-I-it, uh -- actually, |
| 00:48:14 |
It's very jewish. |
| 00:48:16 |
Mm, you're right. |
| 00:48:20 |
Oh, now, solly, I'm sure |
| 00:48:23 |
That denise and I |
| 00:48:26 |
...Of the north london ladies |
| 00:48:28 |
Eretz? |
| 00:48:30 |
I know it. |
| 00:48:31 |
So, we were wondering -- |
| 00:48:32 |
So, we wondered if you might |
| 00:48:35 |
I'd be delighted. |
| 00:48:36 |
"we, the undersigned, |
| 00:48:38 |
Believe that the state |
| 00:48:41 |
"israel is unfairly demonized |
| 00:48:44 |
And all other forms |
| 00:48:47 |
"despite being |
| 00:48:49 |
"a shining example |
| 00:48:51 |
Which simply wants |
| 00:48:54 |
"in peace |
| 00:48:58 |
Oh, thanks, |
| 00:49:01 |
If you wouldn't mind. |
| 00:49:03 |
[ laughs ] |
| 00:49:06 |
J-j-just here, is it? |
| 00:49:08 |
Thank you. |
| 00:49:12 |
I have a twitch! |
| 00:49:13 |
Aah! |
| 00:49:14 |
That really hurt! |
| 00:49:15 |
Are you all right? |
| 00:49:17 |
Man: Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:49:20 |
Rabbi finestein |
| 00:49:22 |
[ singing in hebrew ] |
| 00:49:44 |
[ mumbling ] |
| 00:49:45 |
[ clears throat ] |
| 00:49:50 |
[ rapping in hebrew ] |
| 00:50:23 |
[ indistinct conversation ] |
| 00:50:27 |
Be happy to do it. |
| 00:50:28 |
Sorry to interrupt. |
| 00:50:30 |
I think we should go. |
| 00:50:32 |
Ladies and gentlemen -- |
| 00:50:35 |
[ chuckles ] |
| 00:50:38 |
Today our blessed |
| 00:50:41 |
Sammy and louie, |
| 00:50:45 |
[ applause ] |
| 00:50:48 |
Yeah, yeah, it's -- it's good |
| 00:50:51 |
Please don't come crying to me |
| 00:50:53 |
When your prostate blows up |
| 00:50:55 |
And your wife runs off |
| 00:50:56 |
With a psychic investigator |
| 00:50:59 |
[ audience murmurs ] |
| 00:51:02 |
What? |
| 00:51:03 |
Speech. |
| 00:51:05 |
Anyway, boys, |
| 00:51:09 |
Is to public speaking as... |
| 00:51:12 |
Stephen hawking is |
| 00:51:14 |
He has asked schmuggins here |
| 00:51:18 |
Of telling a classic |
| 00:51:21 |
Sadly, though, I've become |
| 00:51:23 |
A bit tired and emotional |
| 00:51:27 |
So, I -- |
| 00:51:29 |
So I've decided |
| 00:51:32 |
To -- to -- to give the task |
| 00:51:36 |
And classic |
| 00:51:38 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:51:44 |
[ applause ] |
| 00:51:53 |
Uh...Hello. |
| 00:51:57 |
Dear lord. |
| 00:52:01 |
How about the story |
| 00:52:03 |
And fischel, the -- |
| 00:52:07 |
Yeah. How about that? |
| 00:52:10 |
That's, uh... |
| 00:52:13 |
So... |
| 00:52:15 |
...There was a tale of, |
| 00:52:18 |
Akiba. |
| 00:52:19 |
...Akiba, |
| 00:52:24 |
And he always observed |
| 00:52:31 |
Uh... |
| 00:52:33 |
Then, in the syn-- |
| 00:52:37 |
The -- the -- |
| 00:52:39 |
That's it, the shul. |
| 00:52:40 |
Shul. |
| 00:52:42 |
In the shul came fischel, |
| 00:52:45 |
Well, what an idiot he was. |
| 00:52:48 |
And he went up to the rabbi, |
| 00:52:51 |
"rabbi, rabbi! |
| 00:52:54 |
My foreskin |
| 00:53:00 |
Um, he did. |
| 00:53:02 |
No, he didn't. |
| 00:53:03 |
He did, and the rabbi looked |
| 00:53:07 |
And fischel said, |
| 00:53:09 |
What do I do?" |
| 00:53:12 |
And... |
| 00:53:13 |
Can you help me |
| 00:53:15 |
Yes, yes. |
| 00:53:17 |
Rabbi akiba says, |
| 00:53:19 |
"moses said that when -- |
| 00:53:22 |
"when the light |
| 00:53:24 |
We must turn our faces |
| 00:53:26 |
That's it, yeah. |
| 00:53:27 |
"and as joshua said when |
| 00:53:30 |
We must turn our faces |
| 00:53:32 |
To the ground. |
| 00:53:33 |
"but I say --" |
| 00:53:36 |
Yeah, what did he say? |
| 00:53:38 |
Well, rabbi akiba says... |
| 00:53:44 |
Uh, rabbi akiba |
| 00:53:48 |
And he says... |
| 00:53:55 |
[ speaking yiddish ] |
| 00:54:14 |
[ laughing ] |
| 00:54:16 |
[ laughter ] |
| 00:54:24 |
What was that? |
| 00:54:25 |
Don't ask me. |
| 00:54:27 |
[ up-tempo music plays ] |
| 00:54:33 |
[ man singing in hebrew ] |
| 00:55:09 |
[ brakes squeal ] |
| 00:55:11 |
Jesus. |
| 00:55:12 |
See? |
| 00:55:13 |
Soon as I'm in a cab... |
| 00:55:17 |
That was good tonight. |
| 00:55:20 |
Thanks, lenny. |
| 00:55:22 |
Hey, mahmud. |
| 00:55:23 |
This jew thing -- what -- |
| 00:55:27 |
Izzy shimshileewitz. |
| 00:55:30 |
What, he's still alive? |
| 00:55:31 |
Yeah, well, I think so. |
| 00:55:33 |
I-I can't be sure. |
| 00:55:36 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:55:37 |
The rabbi. |
| 00:55:39 |
He said I've got to get |
| 00:55:42 |
Did he? |
| 00:55:44 |
Yeah. |
| 00:55:45 |
When are you |
| 00:55:47 |
Soon as possible. |
| 00:55:49 |
You know what? I'm gonna take |
| 00:55:51 |
Yeah? |
| 00:55:53 |
Yeah, I'm not gonna let |
| 00:55:55 |
Get held back |
| 00:55:57 |
I think -- |
| 00:55:58 |
That's really good |
| 00:55:59 |
I'm gonna go. |
| 00:56:00 |
But you will be tactful, |
| 00:56:02 |
Yeah. |
| 00:56:04 |
Because, you know, |
| 00:56:06 |
My dad -- you know, |
| 00:56:08 |
When he died... |
| 00:56:11 |
You know, and now I've got |
| 00:56:15 |
And it's just too much. |
| 00:56:16 |
Look, finding out you're jewish |
| 00:56:19 |
That suddenly every moment's |
| 00:56:27 |
Salaam alaykum, mahmud. |
| 00:56:30 |
Alaykum a salaam, |
| 00:56:42 |
Hey. |
| 00:56:43 |
Hey. |
| 00:56:45 |
Good night. |
| 00:56:46 |
Uh, dad... |
| 00:56:47 |
That was a bit weird today, |
| 00:56:49 |
Wasn't it, |
| 00:56:51 |
Weird, yeah. |
| 00:56:53 |
I was just -- |
| 00:56:56 |
To show support for them, |
| 00:56:59 |
Yeah, but I think, |
| 00:57:02 |
You could, uh... |
| 00:57:04 |
Just a touch. |
| 00:57:06 |
[ laughter ] |
| 00:57:08 |
Okay. All right. |
| 00:57:11 |
Good night. |
| 00:57:13 |
Good night. |
| 00:57:22 |
Saamiya: |
| 00:57:26 |
He isn't 60 until June. |
| 00:57:31 |
Saamiya. |
| 00:57:34 |
Do you remember |
| 00:57:38 |
And you promised to love me |
| 00:57:42 |
With faith and obedience |
| 00:57:46 |
Yes, of course. |
| 00:57:49 |
Who is it?! Huh?! |
| 00:57:50 |
That hurts! |
| 00:57:52 |
Work? What are you |
| 00:57:54 |
That pram-faced tart |
| 00:57:57 |
Blimey, |
| 00:57:59 |
But I-I was |
| 00:58:01 |
Anyway, you know, |
| 00:58:02 |
By the qur'an, I could have |
| 00:58:04 |
Oh, that's why you've been |
| 00:58:06 |
All of this time, |
| 00:58:07 |
Ow! Stop it! |
| 00:58:08 |
You know, I knew I should have |
| 00:58:10 |
That hurts. Stop. |
| 00:58:12 |
Will you calm down? |
| 00:58:14 |
I want to tell you |
| 00:58:17 |
Oh. No, it's not -- |
| 00:58:19 |
What? |
| 00:58:20 |
You're not -- |
| 00:58:22 |
Mahmud, I spoke to the imam |
| 00:58:25 |
And he told me that you told him |
| 00:58:28 |
And I just laughed |
| 00:58:30 |
Hey. |
| 00:58:32 |
I've seen this |
| 00:58:35 |
They're called bears -- |
| 00:58:37 |
No, no, no, |
| 00:58:39 |
I'm not gay. |
| 00:58:40 |
I've got the wrong end |
| 00:58:42 |
Listen to me. |
| 00:58:48 |
The truth is... |
| 00:58:50 |
Mm? |
| 00:58:52 |
...I'm... |
| 00:58:55 |
Frightened... |
| 00:58:57 |
Frightened? |
| 00:59:00 |
...Of meeting |
| 00:59:03 |
At least, |
| 00:59:06 |
Till I started going to these |
| 00:59:09 |
Really? |
| 00:59:11 |
Yeah, yeah, night classes |
| 00:59:13 |
Yeah. |
| 00:59:15 |
[ chuckles ] |
| 00:59:17 |
[ mumbling ] |
| 00:59:20 |
Mahmud, |
| 00:59:24 |
You're not ashamed |
| 00:59:26 |
Ashamed? |
| 00:59:30 |
Wow. |
| 00:59:32 |
Come here...And show me |
| 00:59:38 |
You big, |
| 00:59:44 |
[ sighs ] |
| 00:59:54 |
[ door opens ] |
| 00:59:57 |
Ah. Hello. |
| 00:59:58 |
How is he? |
| 01:00:00 |
Stable, but no better. |
| 01:00:02 |
That's why I'm here 24/7 |
| 01:00:04 |
[ scoffs ] |
| 01:00:06 |
Sorry. |
| 01:00:08 |
That's kind of weird |
| 01:00:10 |
Rabbi, so, this is my friend |
| 01:00:13 |
He's been helping, |
| 01:00:15 |
I seem to remember us |
| 01:00:18 |
Yeah, he did. Lenny's been |
| 01:00:20 |
Has he? |
| 01:00:22 |
Been doing my teacher thing, |
| 01:00:24 |
For my yid-muslo, uh, |
| 01:00:29 |
Say your shema. |
| 01:00:32 |
The shema -- |
| 01:00:34 |
Oh, don't tell me |
| 01:00:38 |
Uh, well, |
| 01:00:42 |
Yeah, I can do this. |
| 01:00:44 |
Genesis -- |
| 01:00:45 |
Uh, in hebrew. |
| 01:00:49 |
Gen-hesis. |
| 01:00:50 |
What's hebrew |
| 01:00:52 |
Ex-hodus. |
| 01:00:55 |
I've had |
| 01:00:56 |
No, wait, wait, |
| 01:00:57 |
No, listen, listen, rabbi. |
| 01:00:58 |
My friend has drunk |
| 01:01:01 |
He's danced like a cossack |
| 01:01:03 |
He told a funny story |
| 01:01:05 |
And by the way, |
| 01:01:08 |
I'm a jew, and my friend here |
| 01:01:12 |
Come back when you've found |
| 01:01:15 |
Where am I gonna find |
| 01:01:17 |
Look, rabbi, I haven't even told |
| 01:01:21 |
Well, perhaps that's |
| 01:01:22 |
Now, if you don't mind, |
| 01:01:23 |
I've got a dying man's soul |
| 01:01:25 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. |
| 01:01:26 |
Listen, you sanctimonious |
| 01:01:27 |
[ indistinct shouting ] |
| 01:01:29 |
Stop it! |
| 01:01:31 |
You're disturbing the residents. |
| 01:01:35 |
Hi. |
| 01:01:47 |
"hi"? |
| 01:01:49 |
Sorry. |
| 01:01:51 |
¶ I'm a bow-legged chicken, |
| 01:01:54 |
¶ never been so happy |
| 01:01:57 |
You don't want to listen |
| 01:01:58 |
To what that oversized toddler |
| 01:02:01 |
I mean, I'm a little bit racist |
| 01:02:04 |
But this asshole? |
| 01:02:05 |
If you have just an ounce |
| 01:02:08 |
He will never let you |
| 01:02:10 |
I -- I should -- |
| 01:02:12 |
I -- I should tell everyone |
| 01:02:14 |
That would be a very unjewish |
| 01:02:17 |
You know, we don't like to call |
| 01:02:20 |
We're proud, |
| 01:02:24 |
And -- |
| 01:02:26 |
No, no, I told you -- |
| 01:02:29 |
Yeah, yeah, |
| 01:02:31 |
About themselves, |
| 01:02:32 |
With all the warmongering and |
| 01:02:37 |
Oh, oh -- "if you -- |
| 01:02:40 |
We'll raze your hospitals |
| 01:02:43 |
Unlike the very quiet way in |
| 01:02:46 |
Strap bombs to themselves |
| 01:02:49 |
Yeah, yeah, you know -- |
| 01:02:51 |
That there are |
| 01:02:52 |
Killed by the israeli army |
| 01:02:55 |
[ brakes squealing ] |
| 01:02:58 |
What exactly is your problem, |
| 01:03:01 |
Who are you to tell me |
| 01:03:06 |
No, don't look -- |
| 01:03:08 |
I would have been at my father's |
| 01:03:11 |
What exactly |
| 01:03:12 |
That it's my fault? |
| 01:03:13 |
Yes! |
| 01:03:15 |
You self-hating mentalist! |
| 01:03:17 |
Get out of my cab. |
| 01:03:18 |
You what? |
| 01:03:19 |
You heard me! |
| 01:03:22 |
Americans |
| 01:03:24 |
Be driving a black cab, |
| 01:03:25 |
Asshole. |
| 01:03:26 |
I'm gonna tell my family. |
| 01:03:28 |
You know what? |
| 01:03:31 |
[ scoffs ] |
| 01:03:32 |
Islamophobe. |
| 01:03:37 |
Suck my fat one! |
| 01:03:39 |
¶ get ready to start ¶ |
| 01:03:41 |
¶ flap your elbows |
| 01:03:43 |
¶ then you wiggle and you waddle |
| 01:03:47 |
¶ come and dance with me, |
| 01:03:48 |
¶ tap your toes and glide ¶ |
| 01:03:50 |
¶ and we'll always be together |
| 01:03:53 |
¶ we'll walk with a wiggle |
| 01:03:56 |
¶ doing the tennessee wig walk ¶ |
| 01:04:00 |
Rashid, saamiya, |
| 01:04:03 |
There's something |
| 01:04:11 |
Daddy, the funny men have come |
| 01:04:17 |
Mahmud. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. |
| 01:04:21 |
This is mr. Al-masri. |
| 01:04:23 |
Please call me arshad. |
| 01:04:25 |
Yes, yes, yes, uh... |
| 01:04:27 |
Salaam alaykum, arshad. |
| 01:04:31 |
Alaykum a salaam. |
| 01:04:35 |
Hey. |
| 01:04:37 |
Hey. |
| 01:04:38 |
And this is hazeem. |
| 01:04:40 |
Hey, hey. |
| 01:04:42 |
Whoa. |
| 01:04:45 |
Um, welcome. |
| 01:04:47 |
You are very welcome. |
| 01:04:50 |
So, uh...What did you |
| 01:04:54 |
What? |
| 01:04:55 |
You came in saying that you have |
| 01:04:59 |
Yeah, I -- I was just gonna |
| 01:05:04 |
I'm, uh... |
| 01:05:08 |
¶ bow-legged chicken, |
| 01:05:11 |
¶ never been so happy |
| 01:05:13 |
¶ walk with a wiggle |
| 01:05:14 |
¶ ba-gawk ¶ |
| 01:05:16 |
¶ doing the tennessee wig walk ¶ |
| 01:05:20 |
It was just something in my head |
| 01:05:22 |
And I thought nabi |
| 01:05:25 |
Is it the theme song of the |
| 01:05:31 |
Very good. |
| 01:05:35 |
So, let us sit. |
| 01:05:37 |
Friends and family need |
| 01:05:41 |
[ clears throat ] |
| 01:05:43 |
[ clears throat ] |
| 01:05:53 |
Uzma, where's your mum? |
| 01:05:56 |
Oh, she's just in the... |
| 01:06:00 |
Salaam alaykum, kashmina. |
| 01:06:03 |
Mahmud. |
| 01:06:04 |
So, let us talk |
| 01:06:08 |
Yes. He's, uh... |
| 01:06:14 |
Though, um... |
| 01:06:17 |
As the holy qur'an says... |
| 01:06:21 |
Says... |
| 01:06:23 |
Children are |
| 01:06:27 |
Not quite. |
| 01:06:29 |
Your wealth and your children |
| 01:06:32 |
With allah -- |
| 01:06:35 |
At-taghabun ayah 15. |
| 01:06:37 |
Of course, right? |
| 01:06:40 |
Come, now. |
| 01:06:41 |
I do not expect everyone to know |
| 01:06:45 |
No. I don't even know |
| 01:06:48 |
All I need to be |
| 01:06:51 |
Is to know |
| 01:06:54 |
Oh. Of course. |
| 01:06:56 |
And on that note, |
| 01:06:58 |
In the hope of sealing |
| 01:07:01 |
Which may join |
| 01:07:04 |
You will forgive me the need |
| 01:07:09 |
Brother arshad |
| 01:07:12 |
Back to ibrahim ibn walid |
| 01:07:15 |
Imam of medina |
| 01:07:20 |
I have to be careful |
| 01:07:23 |
You will have seen |
| 01:07:26 |
They have been chasing me |
| 01:07:28 |
Here in brighton. |
| 01:07:29 |
I must be on guard to preserve |
| 01:07:31 |
The dignity |
| 01:07:35 |
Yeah, absolutely. |
| 01:07:37 |
For example, |
| 01:07:41 |
That you once wrote a letter |
| 01:07:44 |
Calling on muslims |
| 01:07:48 |
Yeah, listen, that whole shia |
| 01:07:51 |
You know, I got really upset |
| 01:07:53 |
Moderation is, of course, |
| 01:07:56 |
In moderation. |
| 01:08:01 |
[ chuckles ] |
| 01:08:03 |
[ laughter ] |
| 01:08:08 |
But...This western idea |
| 01:08:12 |
Of the "moderate muslim" -- |
| 01:08:17 |
That idea |
| 01:08:22 |
But then, |
| 01:08:27 |
How do you mean? |
| 01:08:30 |
Tariq. |
| 01:08:32 |
[ crowd chanting "burn it" ] |
| 01:08:41 |
What are you doing |
| 01:08:43 |
Yes, nabi, |
| 01:08:45 |
Yes. |
| 01:08:46 |
Tariq: We've put the film |
| 01:08:49 |
You have? |
| 01:08:51 |
43,000 hits |
| 01:08:54 |
Insha'allah. |
| 01:08:57 |
What mahmud is doing, nabi, |
| 01:09:00 |
That even a liberal, |
| 01:09:03 |
Can only be stretched |
| 01:09:08 |
Am I right, mahmud? |
| 01:09:12 |
Absolutely. |
| 01:09:17 |
So, uzma and rashid, |
| 01:09:21 |
I give their marriage |
| 01:09:27 |
Let us celebrate. |
| 01:09:30 |
Please, sing for us, |
| 01:09:32 |
No, no, no. |
| 01:09:33 |
Brother arshad has |
| 01:09:36 |
Ah. |
| 01:09:38 |
Not really. |
| 01:09:40 |
Please, arshad sahib, we would |
| 01:09:42 |
Well, well, well, |
| 01:09:47 |
That my mother taught me. |
| 01:09:51 |
[ clearing throat ] |
| 01:09:55 |
[ singing in arabic ] |
| 01:10:33 |
[ doorbell ringing ] |
| 01:10:40 |
Uh, I-I'll go and get that. |
| 01:10:43 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:10:45 |
That was very nice. |
| 01:10:50 |
[ indistinct shouting ] |
| 01:10:51 |
Mr. Nasir? |
| 01:10:54 |
You are under arrest |
| 01:10:56 |
Of having performed actions |
| 01:10:59 |
To the racial and religious |
| 01:11:02 |
Yeah. |
| 01:11:03 |
How dare you gatecrash |
| 01:11:06 |
What were you |
| 01:11:08 |
Put anthrax |
| 01:11:10 |
Come on, now, |
| 01:11:11 |
Yes, yes. Sorry. |
| 01:11:13 |
What is this man guilty of, |
| 01:11:16 |
[ indistinct shouting ] |
| 01:11:18 |
...When the jewish-controlled |
| 01:11:20 |
Produces offensive |
| 01:11:26 |
[ crowd boos ] |
| 01:11:27 |
Shouldn't a muslim speak out |
| 01:11:31 |
Of his brothers |
| 01:11:36 |
He wasn't speaking out! |
| 01:11:38 |
What happened to your precious |
| 01:11:44 |
You hypocrites?! |
| 01:11:45 |
Whatever. |
| 01:11:46 |
Burning a jew's hat, |
| 01:11:48 |
Constitutes |
| 01:11:50 |
I must warn you, sir, |
| 01:11:51 |
Will be taken down and used |
| 01:11:53 |
Anything? |
| 01:11:55 |
[ crowd chanting "mahmud" ] |
| 01:11:58 |
[ indistinct shouting ] |
| 01:12:04 |
[ wind howling ] |
| 01:12:12 |
I'm jewish! |
| 01:12:15 |
Monty: What? |
| 01:12:19 |
What? |
| 01:12:22 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:12:24 |
I'm jewish. |
| 01:12:26 |
I was born a jew. |
| 01:12:30 |
I was adopted... |
| 01:12:35 |
Uzma! |
| 01:12:36 |
Well, I suppose that's |
| 01:12:38 |
Well, is it? |
| 01:12:39 |
I mean, it's like |
| 01:12:41 |
He can take the piss out of jews |
| 01:12:43 |
Wouldn't arrest him for it, |
| 01:12:45 |
This is clearly nonsense, |
| 01:12:46 |
He doesn't |
| 01:12:47 |
Yes, he does. |
| 01:12:49 |
What are you talking about? |
| 01:12:51 |
Rashid: Dad. |
| 01:12:52 |
It's true. I'm sorry. |
| 01:12:54 |
No, no, no, please. |
| 01:12:56 |
[ indistinct shouting ] |
| 01:12:58 |
Uzma! |
| 01:13:06 |
Uzma! |
| 01:13:08 |
Get inside, get inside. |
| 01:13:09 |
All right, |
| 01:13:11 |
Could you all kindly fuck off |
| 01:13:15 |
He's a live one, |
| 01:13:17 |
[ engine turns over ] |
| 01:13:19 |
How was I inciting |
| 01:13:21 |
Schvartse, sir. |
| 01:13:24 |
How do you even know |
| 01:13:33 |
Rash -- |
| 01:13:35 |
No. |
| 01:13:39 |
Rashid! |
| 01:13:50 |
At least |
| 01:13:53 |
[ blues harmonica plays ] |
| 01:14:02 |
¶ whoo ¶ |
| 01:14:33 |
Nabi. |
| 01:14:35 |
Something at school today? |
| 01:14:37 |
Infidel. |
| 01:14:38 |
For crying out loud. |
| 01:14:41 |
[ television turns on ] |
| 01:14:43 |
I'm jewish! |
| 01:14:45 |
I was born a jew. |
| 01:14:46 |
Jesus, moses, and allah. |
| 01:14:47 |
I just found out. |
| 01:14:51 |
[ indistinct shouti ng ] |
| 01:14:57 |
Matthew: There were |
| 01:15:00 |
Well, |
| 01:15:01 |
Matthew, |
| 01:15:04 |
Is multiculturalism |
| 01:15:06 |
He's a hero for our times, |
| 01:15:08 |
Somebody that we have to |
| 01:15:10 |
This is the way |
| 01:15:13 |
We need to look at people |
| 01:15:15 |
"yes, you're proud |
| 01:15:17 |
You might look |
| 01:15:20 |
Not what I would say, |
| 01:15:21 |
If you were in his shoes, |
| 01:15:22 |
Man: It's not something |
| 01:15:24 |
Hey, guys. |
| 01:15:25 |
Hey, mahmud. |
| 01:15:27 |
I think this is where |
| 01:15:28 |
[ television turns off ] |
| 01:15:30 |
How's it going? |
| 01:15:31 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, |
| 01:15:33 |
Yeah, yeah, |
| 01:15:34 |
Doing lovely, sir, |
| 01:15:35 |
You all right? |
| 01:15:38 |
Where's wasif? |
| 01:15:40 |
Um... |
| 01:15:47 |
Is there anyone else |
| 01:15:50 |
You need someone |
| 01:15:55 |
All right, well, I... |
| 01:15:58 |
I might just...Work from home |
| 01:16:04 |
Yeah. G-good idea. |
| 01:16:06 |
I'll go -- |
| 01:16:09 |
Some... |
| 01:16:12 |
This. |
| 01:16:13 |
Mahmud. |
| 01:16:18 |
Things will work out. |
| 01:16:32 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:16:34 |
I'm going to stay |
| 01:16:35 |
No, no. Just put it away. |
| 01:16:38 |
Let -- let go. |
| 01:16:41 |
How long |
| 01:16:42 |
I don't know. |
| 01:16:45 |
Because I'm a jew? |
| 01:16:46 |
No, mahmud, |
| 01:16:48 |
Something you promised |
| 01:16:53 |
[ car door opens ] |
| 01:16:54 |
Nabi: Daddy! |
| 01:16:55 |
Hey, my baby girl. |
| 01:16:58 |
Daddy? |
| 01:17:00 |
What is a jew? |
| 01:17:02 |
Well, |
| 01:17:03 |
On "the apprentice" |
| 01:17:04 |
[ horn honking ] |
| 01:17:05 |
And why did some naughty man |
| 01:17:08 |
Because you are one? |
| 01:17:09 |
Hurry up! |
| 01:17:11 |
Who did that? |
| 01:17:14 |
I'll kill him. |
| 01:17:18 |
Rashid: |
| 01:17:19 |
Yeah, but that's -- |
| 01:17:20 |
It doesn't matter |
| 01:17:22 |
[ horn honking ] |
| 01:17:23 |
I loved her, dad. |
| 01:17:27 |
Rashid! |
| 01:17:29 |
And I can explain. |
| 01:17:30 |
My dad, my real dad -- |
| 01:17:32 |
I've got to try and prove |
| 01:17:35 |
Where's my dad? |
| 01:17:38 |
[ car door closes, |
| 01:17:47 |
[ camera shutter clicking ] |
| 01:17:58 |
Enough already! |
| 01:18:42 |
[ indistinct conversation ] |
| 01:18:44 |
Get away, man. |
| 01:18:49 |
[ sniffling ] |
| 01:18:59 |
[ vehicle passing, |
| 01:19:02 |
Fuck off! |
| 01:19:15 |
Come on, my friend. |
| 01:19:18 |
Up. There. |
| 01:19:22 |
Leytonstone, huh? |
| 01:19:23 |
Golders green. |
| 01:19:24 |
Golders green? |
| 01:19:25 |
Yeah. |
| 01:19:27 |
All right. |
| 01:19:33 |
I want to see |
| 01:19:35 |
You can't. |
| 01:19:36 |
Why not? |
| 01:19:38 |
Well, for one thing, |
| 01:19:40 |
And for another... |
| 01:19:52 |
I've done it, okay? |
| 01:19:56 |
Whoo-hoo. |
| 01:19:58 |
Have you had |
| 01:20:01 |
Huh? Have I jumped |
| 01:20:03 |
Have I ruined my muslim life |
| 01:20:06 |
He can't stop -- |
| 01:20:08 |
He's not allowed to. |
| 01:20:11 |
Oh, really? |
| 01:20:13 |
Oh, well, then I can go in here |
| 01:20:16 |
Eh? Whoo-hoo. |
| 01:20:18 |
I'm in. I'm out. |
| 01:20:20 |
I'm really sorry. |
| 01:20:22 |
But it's a prayer |
| 01:20:27 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 01:20:31 |
He got your letter, though, |
| 01:20:36 |
I didn't send anything. |
| 01:20:38 |
Perhaps you'd like to go in, |
| 01:20:41 |
I know some of our recently |
| 01:20:44 |
That can help |
| 01:20:46 |
Thank you. |
| 01:20:55 |
Fuck! |
| 01:20:57 |
[ clattering ] |
| 01:21:08 |
[ music box chiming ] |
| 01:21:36 |
[ sighs ] |
| 01:21:46 |
[ television turns on ] |
| 01:21:48 |
Mahmud: I'm jewish! |
| 01:21:53 |
I was born a jew. |
| 01:21:56 |
I was adopted... |
| 01:22:14 |
[ bird chirping ] |
| 01:22:44 |
Mahmud, I-I'm -- |
| 01:22:47 |
If I wasn't such a schmuck |
| 01:22:50 |
Forget it. |
| 01:22:52 |
Besides... |
| 01:22:55 |
This gives you |
| 01:23:02 |
You could have used |
| 01:23:04 |
I wanted him to get it |
| 01:23:09 |
Did you wipe |
| 01:23:10 |
Fuck no. |
| 01:23:17 |
Look what he wrote on it. |
| 01:23:22 |
He remembered it, then -- |
| 01:23:25 |
Well, that's -- |
| 01:23:31 |
[ sighs ] |
| 01:23:33 |
My life's still shot, |
| 01:23:37 |
My family's left me. |
| 01:23:41 |
My son loves this girl |
| 01:23:44 |
'cause I'm |
| 01:23:48 |
Why can't they |
| 01:23:51 |
I mean, who cares |
| 01:23:54 |
Now, look, |
| 01:23:57 |
However many |
| 01:23:59 |
However many brazilians she, |
| 01:24:05 |
...She just would never, |
| 01:24:10 |
That's what it's like |
| 01:24:15 |
A minute ago, |
| 01:24:17 |
I know, I know. |
| 01:24:19 |
[ women chanting ] |
| 01:25:26 |
Reporter: Tonight, |
| 01:25:28 |
We ask the question, |
| 01:25:29 |
Islamic clerics, |
| 01:25:32 |
Are they working for the good |
| 01:25:35 |
Or are they dangerous fanatics |
| 01:25:37 |
Driven by a desire to destroy |
| 01:25:54 |
Hey. |
| 01:25:57 |
So, uh... |
| 01:26:01 |
Running. |
| 01:26:03 |
Are you, uh... |
| 01:26:06 |
Are you going |
| 01:26:09 |
Well, |
| 01:26:16 |
Do you know |
| 01:26:19 |
Well, she's obviously |
| 01:26:22 |
That because her mum |
| 01:26:24 |
To leave muhammad |
| 01:26:26 |
She will have to go |
| 01:26:29 |
Where the women of her age |
| 01:26:32 |
If they've still got |
| 01:26:39 |
Okay, listen. |
| 01:26:41 |
I'm going to this event, |
| 01:26:44 |
I'm gonna stand up, |
| 01:26:46 |
What? |
| 01:26:47 |
Yeah. |
| 01:26:48 |
I've read the qur'an. |
| 01:26:51 |
I think -- |
| 01:26:53 |
He knows |
| 01:26:54 |
Do you really want to make |
| 01:26:57 |
In front |
| 01:27:00 |
Yeah, but, son, |
| 01:27:01 |
It's -- it's not exactly |
| 01:27:04 |
Oh, oh, it is. |
| 01:27:06 |
Since your little moment |
| 01:27:07 |
It's not just |
| 01:27:09 |
Who want to see arshad. |
| 01:27:11 |
No, no, no! |
| 01:27:13 |
Oh. |
| 01:27:14 |
Dad, please. |
| 01:27:19 |
Son, son. |
| 01:27:22 |
[ sighs ] |
| 01:27:34 |
My eyes. |
| 01:28:02 |
They're starting about now -- |
| 01:28:05 |
Mum, forget it. |
| 01:28:07 |
You know, muna's gone. |
| 01:28:09 |
Well, that's -- |
| 01:28:11 |
But, rashid -- |
| 01:28:13 |
Remember what he's done. |
| 01:28:16 |
Look not at what a man has done, |
| 01:28:19 |
Who taught you that, |
| 01:28:22 |
Daddy. |
| 01:28:28 |
Arshad: If that means |
| 01:28:31 |
Even tearing down |
| 01:28:34 |
Which disgust and dismay |
| 01:28:39 |
So be it. |
| 01:28:41 |
[ applause ] |
| 01:28:50 |
Thank you. |
| 01:28:53 |
Thank you very much, my brothers |
| 01:28:56 |
Now, any questions? |
| 01:28:59 |
Yes? |
| 01:29:01 |
Brother arshad, |
| 01:29:03 |
How can we support |
| 01:29:07 |
Well, by listening and acting |
| 01:29:10 |
But also, if you wish, there are |
| 01:29:14 |
Details are available |
| 01:29:16 |
Yes, brother? |
| 01:29:19 |
Tell us also, brother, |
| 01:29:21 |
How come you are |
| 01:29:25 |
Mum, I'm gonna go and -- |
| 01:29:28 |
Have you seen uzma? |
| 01:29:29 |
Rashid, |
| 01:29:31 |
That is very kind of you |
| 01:29:33 |
Well, I have the advantage, |
| 01:29:35 |
From a long and eminent line |
| 01:29:39 |
But who knows |
| 01:29:43 |
[ applause ] |
| 01:29:47 |
Thank you very much. |
| 01:29:49 |
So, if there are |
| 01:29:52 |
Yes, holy sister? |
| 01:29:54 |
[ high-pitched voice ] |
| 01:29:57 |
Is it possible that you, |
| 01:30:00 |
There's something |
| 01:30:01 |
Which is... |
| 01:30:18 |
You're stretched it really badly |
| 01:30:21 |
[ normal voice ] |
| 01:30:23 |
Why won't you let my son |
| 01:30:26 |
Well, well, |
| 01:30:29 |
[ laughter ] |
| 01:30:30 |
Answer the question. |
| 01:30:31 |
Mum, what is he doing? |
| 01:30:32 |
The holy qur'an |
| 01:30:36 |
Do not marry your girls |
| 01:30:40 |
[ applause ] |
| 01:30:43 |
Until they believe. |
| 01:30:44 |
I beg your pardon? |
| 01:30:45 |
Well, that's how |
| 01:30:48 |
An islamic woman can marry |
| 01:30:52 |
And my son |
| 01:30:54 |
And how can I |
| 01:30:56 |
When I cannot believe |
| 01:30:59 |
Oh. Welcome. |
| 01:31:01 |
No, no, no, no. Don't -- |
| 01:31:04 |
[ laughter ] |
| 01:31:06 |
A bit harder. |
| 01:31:16 |
And what are you today, |
| 01:31:20 |
What is the... |
| 01:31:23 |
[ laughter ] |
| 01:31:25 |
I am a muslim. |
| 01:31:26 |
[ speaking arabic ] |
| 01:31:30 |
Well, well, well, well. |
| 01:31:34 |
At-taghabun ayah 73 -- |
| 01:31:37 |
Strive hard |
| 01:31:40 |
I believe my shahada, |
| 01:31:44 |
Because it's |
| 01:31:46 |
And you know what else |
| 01:31:49 |
The jews have |
| 01:31:52 |
You know what it's called? |
| 01:31:54 |
What is he talking about? |
| 01:31:56 |
Do you know what moses called |
| 01:31:58 |
Elah -- |
| 01:32:03 |
Because it's the same god. |
| 01:32:05 |
Very, very good, |
| 01:32:07 |
You've learned some |
| 01:32:10 |
[ chuckles ] |
| 01:32:12 |
So, maybe you tell us, |
| 01:32:14 |
Before all this |
| 01:32:17 |
About your parentage |
| 01:32:20 |
How often did you go |
| 01:32:23 |
Five times a day |
| 01:32:26 |
Well... |
| 01:32:29 |
[ laughter ] |
| 01:32:30 |
Oh, dear. |
| 01:32:32 |
Devotion at home, then? |
| 01:32:35 |
I'll bet if you got |
| 01:32:37 |
It would have two big holes |
| 01:32:41 |
Yeah. |
| 01:32:42 |
Not that, either? |
| 01:32:45 |
At least, I assume |
| 01:32:48 |
You kept yourself free |
| 01:32:50 |
You're able to admit, |
| 01:32:53 |
With your hand |
| 01:32:58 |
That alcohol |
| 01:33:08 |
Hmm. |
| 01:33:11 |
Okay, okay, my son. |
| 01:33:13 |
I think you |
| 01:33:16 |
Yeah. |
| 01:33:22 |
You can also add |
| 01:33:27 |
I've lied... |
| 01:33:31 |
To the people |
| 01:33:34 |
I've been a poor father. |
| 01:33:36 |
Been trying so hard to find |
| 01:33:41 |
I forgot who I am, |
| 01:33:46 |
Which is |
| 01:33:50 |
And, yes, I have not been |
| 01:33:56 |
But who here has? |
| 01:33:59 |
Who here has, |
| 01:34:04 |
And what is your name, |
| 01:34:12 |
My name is mahmud nasir. |
| 01:34:17 |
And for once, yes, |
| 01:34:19 |
It was |
| 01:34:22 |
And of that, |
| 01:34:25 |
[ crowd murmuring ] |
| 01:34:27 |
A good man, |
| 01:34:30 |
Should not just never lie |
| 01:34:33 |
He should also |
| 01:34:38 |
Oh, and, |
| 01:34:40 |
"strive hard |
| 01:34:44 |
It's al-tawbah ayah 73. |
| 01:34:50 |
Here's the thing |
| 01:34:53 |
Some of them really do teach us |
| 01:34:55 |
And that's fantastic. |
| 01:34:57 |
Some of them are out there, |
| 01:34:58 |
Protecting our oppressed |
| 01:35:01 |
And some of them... |
| 01:35:04 |
...Are beardy, weirdy fuckers |
| 01:35:09 |
[ cheers and applause ] |
| 01:35:16 |
Now, listen, you. |
| 01:35:20 |
I don't care about all |
| 01:35:24 |
Get off of my stage! |
| 01:35:27 |
Your son will never marry |
| 01:35:31 |
Oh, what's that? |
| 01:35:33 |
What's that in your eye, |
| 01:35:35 |
It's -- it's brought on |
| 01:35:38 |
It's called a blepharospasm -- |
| 01:35:42 |
Tell you what, |
| 01:35:45 |
Close your eyes? |
| 01:35:46 |
[ snaps fingers ] |
| 01:35:49 |
[ rock music plays ] |
| 01:36:03 |
In 1962 in manchester, |
| 01:36:07 |
His name |
| 01:36:10 |
Later to be known |
| 01:36:14 |
My favorite pop star. |
| 01:36:16 |
Yeah. |
| 01:36:17 |
Gary made one good album |
| 01:36:21 |
This one in particular -- |
| 01:36:24 |
Gary -- oh, fuck it. |
| 01:36:27 |
Gary "died" |
| 01:36:31 |
Yeah, at that time he was |
| 01:36:33 |
And nonpayment of child support |
| 01:36:35 |
To five kids |
| 01:36:39 |
Stop! Stop! Stop! |
| 01:36:43 |
Fuck off, you fucking paki! |
| 01:36:46 |
[ crowd murmuring ] |
| 01:36:48 |
Now, his left eye, |
| 01:37:07 |
Well done. |
| 01:37:16 |
Oh, and by the way -- |
| 01:37:19 |
Just so you know, |
| 01:37:23 |
Scientologists. |
| 01:37:25 |
[ laughter ] |
| 01:37:27 |
[ rock music plays ] |
| 01:37:39 |
Come here, |
| 01:37:42 |
That's my dad. |
| 01:37:44 |
Dad, that was class. |
| 01:37:46 |
I know. It's when he came out |
| 01:37:49 |
I'd -- I'd know that tone |
| 01:37:52 |
But it wasn't until you told me |
| 01:37:54 |
Thanks, my son. |
| 01:37:57 |
Hey. |
| 01:38:06 |
Hey! |
| 01:38:10 |
Lenny: |
| 01:38:14 |
Liverpool street. |
| 01:38:18 |
Liverpool street. |
| 01:38:20 |
Liverpool fucking motherfucking |
| 01:38:23 |
Anyone! For fuck's sake! |
| 01:38:25 |
Man: I can't hear you. |
| 01:38:27 |
Woman: I'm never using |
| 01:38:28 |
Right, sorry. |
| 01:38:31 |
[ telephone rings ] |
| 01:38:32 |
Yeah. |
| 01:38:33 |
Mahmud: Yeah, I'd like a car |
| 01:38:35 |
Mahmud, where are you? |
| 01:38:36 |
You -- |
| 01:38:38 |
And then you don't show up |
| 01:38:41 |
In fact, |
| 01:38:43 |
Like you're |
| 01:38:46 |
It's today, lenny! |
| 01:38:49 |
You schmucking twat. |
| 01:38:56 |
[ up-tempo music plays ] |
| 01:39:00 |
[ camera shutter clicks ] |
| 01:39:09 |
Mmm! |
| 01:39:12 |
[ man rapping in arabic ] |
| 01:39:44 |
[ cheering ] |
| 01:40:01 |
Are you all right? |
| 01:40:03 |
Oh, mahmud, mahmud. |
| 01:40:05 |
Saamiya: Oh, my god, mahmud, |
| 01:40:06 |
Somebody come and help. |
| 01:40:08 |
[ indistinct conversations ] |
| 01:40:15 |
Hey. |
| 01:40:17 |
Muslim enough for you? |
| 01:40:20 |
Actually wasn't that bad, |
| 01:40:22 |
Hmm. |
| 01:40:23 |
I quite enjoyed it, |
| 01:40:26 |
What was that? |
| 01:40:28 |
What was what? |
| 01:40:29 |
What was that? |
| 01:40:31 |
What? That you did -- |
| 01:40:32 |
You did a big...Gesture, |
| 01:40:35 |
Big-nose gesture |
| 01:40:36 |
I did not. |
| 01:40:38 |
No, I was just doing a -- |
| 01:40:43 |
Who were you waving at? |
| 01:40:46 |
What? |
| 01:40:47 |
Who were you waving at? |
| 01:40:48 |
I was waving at you. |
| 01:40:50 |
You see, no, |
| 01:40:52 |
You -- you -- |
| 01:40:55 |
The schnozzle mime. |
| 01:40:57 |
That's what you did. |
| 01:40:58 |
It's -- it's -- it's all |
| 01:41:00 |
You know that? |
| 01:41:01 |
Asking to move your cab |
| 01:41:03 |
You know, I do a wave at you, |
| 01:41:05 |
I invite you to my son's |
| 01:41:08 |
You know, if you're |
| 01:41:09 |
At least stop sounding |
| 01:41:11 |
Ha! |
| 01:41:12 |
What? |
| 01:41:14 |
What? |
| 01:41:16 |
I don't understand. |
| 01:41:18 |
You are "you people." |
| 01:41:20 |
That's -- no, there's nature |
| 01:41:23 |
This nose -- big, yes, |
| 01:41:26 |
It's not jewish. |
| 01:41:27 |
You know, yeah. |
| 01:41:28 |
It was made in pakistan. |
| 01:41:29 |
It's not jewish because it |
| 01:41:31 |
To be a real jewish nose. |
| 01:41:32 |
You're actually |
| 01:41:34 |
You're very racist. |
| 01:41:35 |
I'm saying that my nose is |
| 01:41:37 |
You don't even know |
| 01:41:38 |
You have some papers |
| 01:41:40 |
I don't care |
| 01:41:42 |
Who knows if you're |
| 01:41:43 |
Let me tell you something. |
| 01:41:45 |
Your cockney accent |
| 01:41:48 |
¶ yes, I got to have faith ¶ |
| 01:41:50 |
¶ mm, I got to have faith ¶ |
| 01:41:53 |
¶ because I got to have faith, |
| 01:41:55 |
¶ I got to have faith, |
| 01:41:58 |
¶ baby ¶ |
| 01:42:00 |
¶ I know |
| 01:42:03 |
¶ saying please, please, |
| 01:42:05 |
¶ you say |
| 01:42:07 |
¶ maybe, huh ¶ |
| 01:42:10 |
¶ you mean every word you say ¶ |
| 01:42:12 |
¶ can't help |
| 01:42:15 |
¶ and another who tied me down |
| 01:42:18 |
¶ before this river ¶ |
| 01:42:21 |
¶ becomes an ocean ¶ |
| 01:42:24 |
¶ before you throw my heart |
| 01:42:27 |
¶ oh, baby, I reconsider ¶ |
| 01:42:31 |
¶ my foolish notion ¶ |
| 01:42:33 |
¶ well, I need someone |
| 01:42:35 |
¶ but I'll wait |
| 01:42:38 |
¶ yes, I got to have faith ¶ |
| 01:42:40 |
¶ mm, I got to have faith ¶ |
| 01:42:43 |
¶ because I got to have faith, |
| 01:42:45 |
¶ I got to have faith, |
| 01:42:49 |
[ intro to "this confusion" |
| 01:42:56 |
¶ I went to the house of love ¶ |
| 01:43:00 |
¶ I thought it was the place |
| 01:43:03 |
¶ I thought I knew |
| 01:43:07 |
¶ but I was really lost |
| 01:43:10 |
¶ I've spoke to many wiser men ¶ |
| 01:43:14 |
¶ they talk |
| 01:43:17 |
¶ unless you do it |
| 01:43:21 |
¶ until my soul |
| 01:43:24 |
¶ oh, lord, you've got |
| 01:43:27 |
¶ you got to give some ¶ |
| 01:43:29 |
¶ you got to point the way out ¶ |
| 01:43:31 |
¶ oh, lord, |
| 01:43:34 |
¶ I want to understand ¶ |
| 01:43:35 |
¶ I want to know who I am ¶ |
| 01:43:38 |
¶ lord, help me please |
| 01:43:45 |
¶ you've just got to help me |
| 01:43:52 |
¶ never gonna work it out ¶ |
| 01:43:56 |
¶ never gonna learn |
| 01:44:00 |
¶ know I'm gonna be the fool ¶ |
| 01:44:03 |
¶ always gonna get it |
| 01:44:06 |
¶ but there is a way to go ¶ |
| 01:44:10 |
¶ never gonna set this world |
| 01:44:13 |
¶ until I find myself ¶ |
| 01:44:17 |
¶ get myself in my own sight ¶ |
| 01:44:20 |
¶ oh, lord, |
| 01:44:22 |
¶ you got to give some ¶ |
| 01:44:24 |
¶ you got to point the way out ¶ |
| 01:44:27 |
¶ oh, lord, |
| 01:44:29 |
¶ I want to understand ¶ |
| 01:44:31 |
¶ I want to know who I am ¶ |
| 01:44:34 |
¶ lord, help me please |
| 01:44:41 |
¶ you've just got to help me |
