Ivan Vasilevich menyaet professiyu Ivan Vasilyevich Changes Occupation

en
00:00:17 AN ExPERIMENTAL ARTISTIC
00:00:21 A NON-SCIENCE-FICTION,
00:00:23 AND NOT STRICTLY HISTORICAL
00:00:27 BASED ON M. BULGAKOV'S PLAY
00:00:30 IVAN VASSILYEVICH
00:00:36 Written by
00:00:39 Directed by
00:00:42 Directors of Photography
00:00:45 Production Designer
00:00:48 Music by
00:01:17 Starring
00:01:22 YURI YAKOVLEV
00:01:28 ALExANDER DEMYANENKO
00:01:35 NATALYA SELEZNYOVA
00:01:42 NATALYA KUSTINSKAYA
00:01:50 MIKHAIL PUGOVKIN
00:02:54 Long Iive Tsar Boris Fyodorovich!
00:03:04 Long Iive our father, our tsar!
00:03:06 GIory!
00:04:01 Damn!
00:04:05 Hey, what's the matter?
00:04:08 It's outrageous!
00:04:14 - Comrade Timofeyev, when wiII it end?
00:04:17 When wiII be the end
00:04:20 which Ieave our whoIe buiIding
00:04:23 There you go.
00:04:25 Ivan VassiIyevich, if you knew
00:04:29 I'm working on, you wouIdn't have
00:04:32 Experiments with eIectricity
00:04:35 and at home eIectricity must be used
00:04:40 How many times did I teII you...
00:04:42 I'm on Ieave, so I work at home.
00:04:46 As the pubIic representative,
00:04:49 Today you've burned the fuses,
00:04:54 STUPID
00:04:55 And what is this?
00:04:58 You see?
00:05:02 I'II need to raise the voItage.
00:05:06 Dangerous! Of course, it's dangerous,
00:05:52 Your onIy Iove
00:05:58 Our pIanet's turning,
00:06:04 The pIanet's fIying
00:06:10 It's very hard
00:06:18 A winter bIizzard is raging,
00:06:21 And thunderstorms are bIazing,
00:06:23 And stars in the sky are racing,
00:06:29 And peopIe don't see each other,
00:06:32 They just pass by each other,
00:06:35 They aIways Iose each other,
00:06:38 Never to find again.
00:06:43 But there's somewhere
00:06:50 My unforgettabIe,
00:06:52 My true big Iove.
00:06:55 I Iook for it,
00:06:58 But in everyday beat
00:07:01 It's hard for us to meet.
00:07:10 A winter bIizzard is raging,
00:07:12 And thunderstorms are bIazing,
00:07:15 And stars in the sky are racing,
00:07:18 And cities din in the rain.
00:07:21 And peopIe don't see each other,
00:07:24 They just pass by each other,
00:07:27 They aIways Iose each other,
00:07:30 Never to find again.
00:07:36 Never to find again.
00:07:56 I can imagine what's going to happen!
00:08:00 I hope we can avoid a scandaI!
00:08:02 Those scandaIs are so tiresome.
00:08:06 I was divorced three times.
00:08:09 Yes, that's right, three times.
00:08:12 I've never been as nervous as today.
00:08:16 WeII, I'm going to do it!
00:08:20 Oh, Shurik!
00:08:22 Your apparatus is going to kiII you!
00:08:25 My apparatus, Zinochka, wiII make me
00:08:29 ReaIIy?
00:08:33 I'm sorry to bother you,
00:08:35 but I have terribIe news for you.
00:08:42 My gIoves have been stoIen from me
00:08:45 And I feII in Iove with another man.
00:08:49 - Yes, your gIoves. What about them?
00:08:53 WeII, it's done!
00:08:56 OnIy, pIease, no objections,
00:09:00 What?
00:09:02 You probabIy think it's MoIchanovsky?
00:09:07 Zupperman?
00:09:09 AII right!
00:09:12 He is... fiIm director Yakin.
00:09:16 WeII, weII, weII.
00:09:21 It's strange though. It happens
00:09:25 The man is toId that his wife is
00:09:30 At the very Ieast, it's impoIite.
00:09:32 You mean that taII, bIond man?
00:09:37 UnbeIievabIe! To show so IittIe
00:09:41 The bIond one is MoIchanovsky.
00:09:45 And Yakin is...
00:09:49 What? You ask
00:09:53 Today we're Ieaving for Gagry
00:09:57 And Iater, he wiII be given a fIat.
00:10:03 Sure, he is Iying!
00:10:05 Oh, aII this is so ridicuIous!
00:10:07 To insuIt a man because you're
00:10:10 He can't be Iying every minute!
00:10:15 During my many sIeepIess nights,
00:10:19 and I came to the concIusion
00:10:24 Can't you understand, AIexander, that
00:10:32 But your caImness
00:10:35 You know, Shurik, I even feeI Iike
00:10:41 - No, don't do it.
00:10:43 - I'm sure.
00:10:47 Goodbye, Shurik.
00:10:53 But don't canceI my house registration.
00:11:02 AIexander Sergeyevich!
00:11:04 PIease, teII Zinaida MikhaiIovna
00:11:06 that KapitoIina Nikiforovna offered
00:11:10 Zinaida MikhaiIovna has Ieft.
00:11:13 - Where for?
00:11:15 What do you mean, with her Iover?
00:11:19 - You're a very strange man.
00:11:24 You are some character!
00:11:26 If I were your wife,
00:11:30 If you were my wife,
00:11:36 You jerk!
00:11:38 Is that the dentaI cIinic?
00:11:41 Extension 3-62?
00:11:46 May I speak to Anton Shpak, pIease?
00:11:55 Anton, that's for you.
00:11:57 - Who's caIIing?
00:12:01 Keep your mouth open.
00:12:03 Speaking.
00:12:05 Anton Semyonovich? HeIIo.
00:12:11 I'm an actress. No, you don't know me,
00:12:21 So you work untiI four?
00:12:28 I'm Iooking forward to it!
00:12:32 WeII, Iet's continue.
00:12:50 A.S. Shpak
00:13:10 How Iucky for me to drop by!
00:13:45 FoIks, keep your money in a bank!
00:13:50 NaturaIIy, if you have it!
00:13:52 What do you care about my reIations
00:13:55 It's none of your business whether
00:13:59 That's our personaI matter.
00:14:02 No, that's a pubIic matter. Your
00:14:06 - What do You want from me?
00:14:11 Then you may divorce as much
00:14:13 When you're taIking, Ivan
00:14:18 What do you mean?
00:14:20 And about your suspicious machine.
00:14:23 I'm asking you to fiIe an appIication.
00:14:26 Do it, or we'II fiIe a compIaint.
00:14:29 Wait. Wait! There's nothing
00:14:33 I simpIy invented
00:14:36 In other words, I can run through
00:14:40 - Go back to the past?
00:14:43 These experiments, AIexander,
00:14:45 can be done onIy by permission
00:14:48 Wait, Ivan VassiIyevich.
00:14:52 Let me expIain.
00:14:56 That's it!
00:16:24 And now we're going to test
00:16:27 You're witnessing
00:16:30 First, we'II try a cIose distance.
00:16:34 Look,
00:17:19 - Did You see it?
00:17:21 - You see?
00:17:24 What happened?
00:17:26 AIexander Sergeyevich,
00:17:29 What is it? What's going on?
00:17:33 Timofeyev, you wiII answer for it
00:17:38 Go to heII
00:17:40 - HaIf a fIat has vanished.
00:17:43 What do you mean, no big deaI?
00:17:59 I've seen some technicaI wonders,
00:18:06 - Excuse me, and who are you?
00:18:10 - I'm a friend of Anton Shpak.
00:18:14 What am I doing?
00:18:16 I'm waiting for my friend.
00:18:18 And how did you get into his fIat
00:18:21 Oh, go to heII!
00:18:27 Never mind. I've gone through time.
00:18:32 TeII me, can you Iift
00:18:35 A waII?!
00:18:36 Your invention is invaIuabIe.
00:18:38 - CongratuIations.
00:18:43 Why are you staring at me? There're
00:18:47 You're wearing the same imported
00:18:52 ReaIIy?
00:18:56 Is Shpak the onIy one in Moscow
00:18:59 What is your name?
00:19:02 I'm an artiste of aII big and smaII
00:19:06 And my name is too famous
00:19:11 Do you want to get back to Shpak's
00:19:15 I'd better take a Iook at your
00:19:17 - I Iike it.
00:19:20 You're my first witness.
00:19:23 It's my first time
00:19:26 Why are you staring? You're going to
00:19:30 Do you reaIize
00:19:33 You bet! But teII me...
00:19:37 Can you Iift a waII Iike that
00:19:41 - My, what a usefuI invention!
00:19:45 Forget the waII.
00:19:47 The most important thing is that
00:19:52 I can enter time.
00:19:58 You have ignored my question
00:20:01 Darn you!
00:20:03 What a machine! A breakthrough in
00:20:09 I can't wait!
00:20:13 and see the ancient Moscow!
00:20:16 What are you saying, Timofeyev?
00:20:19 Before seeing the ancient Moscow,
00:20:22 Just a minute!
00:20:24 If you mess again with the academic's
00:20:28 - I'm going to...
00:20:32 Do it.
00:20:35 - I'm so nervous.
00:21:25 ...to the heavenIy abode...
00:21:28 ...to the Reverend Father Superior,
00:21:31 Kuzma...
00:21:33 the Tsar and Grand Duke of aII Russia...
00:21:37 Of aII Russia...
00:21:40 is bowing Iow.
00:21:48 Go on writing.
00:21:51 Look!
00:21:56 You're kidding!
00:22:05 Mamma mia!
00:22:13 The demons!
00:22:16 The demons!
00:22:21 Away!
00:22:25 Woe is me, the sinner!
00:22:29 The eviI spirit!
00:22:31 - Wait! Where are you going? Wait!
00:22:50 - Who are You caIIing?
00:22:53 - Put down the phone.
00:22:58 - The phone! Put down the phone!
00:23:01 Put down the phone, I say!
00:23:04 - Easy! Easy!
00:23:06 Where are the demons?
00:23:18 Get them!
00:23:38 Wait! Wait!
00:24:31 They've bricked me up!
00:24:39 That's what the Iife-giving cross
00:25:03 And where's the tsar?
00:25:09 You shouIdn't drink so much.
00:25:24 Where are they?
00:25:28 Hurry! Move it!
00:25:45 Why are they yeIIing?
00:25:47 They cannot yeII.
00:25:56 See how those dead can shoot?
00:25:59 - Open up, dog!
00:26:01 - You.
00:26:34 Oh, I feeI so bad!
00:26:38 I toId you aIready.
00:26:41 Don't dare Iying to me!
00:26:44 Not by human wish, but by God's wiII,
00:26:48 Very weII!
00:26:51 AIas, aIas, I'm the tsar
00:26:56 Send me back, magician!
00:26:59 I cannot! You see,
00:27:04 Thank you!
00:27:07 so I cannot send you back
00:27:11 - Buy them, then.
00:27:15 Oh, woe is me!
00:27:18 - Take it easy, Ivan VassiIyevich!
00:27:23 - do You drink vodka?
00:27:27 Good.
00:27:29 UnfortunateIy, there's no anise vodka.
00:27:34 I say, there's no anise vodka,
00:27:41 Drink it!
00:27:43 - Taste it from My cup.
00:27:46 Go on, taste it...
00:27:48 You think I want to poison you?
00:27:52 We don't do that any more,
00:27:54 and in our day, you'd sooner get
00:27:58 Don't be afraid, drink up!
00:28:01 - Let you be heaIthy, Boyar!
00:28:08 - Was it your housekeeper Who made it?
00:28:22 - Who made this machine? You?
00:28:25 I had a man Iike you.
00:28:29 - WeII?
00:28:30 I put him on a gun-powder barreI.
00:28:34 Why did you do it?
00:28:36 No, no. I don't drink. I don't drink,
00:28:39 - Don't you have any respect for me?
00:28:42 - Then drink.
00:28:47 - WeII, be heaIthy!
00:28:56 So, you Iive here?
00:28:59 - WeII, very cramped quarters.
00:29:03 - Yes, that's right.
00:29:06 And your woman,
00:29:09 My woman eIoped today with
00:29:14 You are kidding?!
00:29:17 When they catch them, first thing
00:29:21 Why?
00:29:24 I wish them every happiness.
00:29:32 How kind you are!
00:29:35 Oh, God! What's going on?
00:29:38 I sit here, whiIe the Swedes
00:29:41 Send me back, Boyar.
00:29:44 Go and buy those transistors.
00:29:49 Just a minute.
00:29:54 I'm busy.
00:29:58 - I'm going with you.
00:30:00 No, Ivan VassiIyevich,
00:30:03 Hurry up, though, Boyar!
00:30:06 I'm in a hurry myseIf.
00:30:10 What's going to happen to them?
00:30:12 - They'II be beheaded, that's aII.
00:30:15 To heII with them!
00:30:27 Take the demons aIive!
00:31:37 Wait!
00:33:24 Eureka!
00:33:26 The tsar's garb!
00:33:29 Put them on.
00:33:33 No way!
00:33:35 Put them on, or I'II kiII you!
00:34:45 TaIk to me, my dear guitar,
00:34:48 My friend of seven strings.
00:34:52 AII my heart is open ajar,
00:34:55 And the night with moonIight sings.
00:34:58 WeII, once,
00:35:03 And again many, many, many times.
00:35:08 Yes, once and again, and again
00:35:13 BIue cornfIowers in the fieId,
00:35:21 My heart is torn between the guiIt
00:35:27 WeII, once, then another time,
00:35:31 And again many, many, many times.
00:35:35 Yes, once and again, and again
00:35:42 - WeII, how do I Iook?
00:35:45 Let me tie up your teeth at Ieast.
00:35:53 - the other tsar Iooks smarter.
00:36:00 Sit down!
00:36:03 Take the stick.
00:36:05 - Go ahead, dictate.
00:36:08 The tsar, repeat it,
00:36:10 The tsar, repeat it,
00:36:13 Don't repeat ''repeat it''!
00:36:20 So you say:
00:36:24 I wrote it, comma.
00:36:28 Where the heII
00:36:31 What's up, comrades?
00:36:34 I'm asking you,
00:36:43 Who's that parasite who dared to
00:36:49 Did they put it here
00:36:55 Go on, Your Majesty!
00:37:03 I'm waiting for the answer
00:37:06 The tsar! The tsar's here!
00:37:12 The tsar's here!
00:37:14 Sit!
00:37:16 Where eIse can he be?
00:37:19 Have mercy, don't put me to death,
00:37:22 The demons grabbed you,
00:37:26 And, suddenIy, the demons vanished!
00:37:30 They were there, we don't deny it.
00:37:34 PIease, stop this ridicuIous panic!
00:37:38 I'm Theophanes, a cIerk
00:37:42 AII right, Fedya.
00:37:45 The rest, pIease, Ieave the tsar's
00:37:50 Bark at them!
00:37:52 Out!
00:38:00 Have mercy, Sire!
00:38:02 Stop your somersauIts! You did it
00:38:08 What's the matter with you, Sire?
00:38:13 Have you taken iII?
00:38:17 Don't sit Iike a dummy!
00:38:21 I've got a toothache.
00:38:23 He's got periostitis, a gumboiI.
00:38:25 - And you stop pestering the tsar!
00:38:27 Fedya, enough of your bowing! Are
00:38:34 - Nice to meet You.
00:38:37 but I don't recognize you.
00:38:40 Me? WeII, I might be.
00:38:45 How do you happen to be in the tsar's
00:38:50 - Oh, Sire, who is he?
00:38:55 What a fooI!
00:38:58 The tsar says that I'm Prince
00:39:03 - Oh my! Stay away!
00:39:07 - You've been executed!
00:39:11 By the tsar's order, you were hanged
00:39:23 WeII, thanks!
00:39:27 HeIp me out, or we'II screw it.
00:39:30 Why don't you say something, bastard?
00:39:32 Oh, now I remember!
00:39:36 What was his first name, the one
00:39:39 - Vanka the Robber.
00:39:42 That bandit was just my namesake.
00:39:46 Am I right?
00:39:48 PIease...
00:39:52 Why are they shouting there?
00:39:55 Yes, sir.
00:39:58 The tsar!
00:40:03 Go! Go! Score! Score!
00:40:07 The common peopIe wish to see their
00:40:12 Oh, no, it's out of the question.
00:40:14 We have no time for that.
00:40:21 They have to be sent away at once,
00:40:26 StiII wouIdn't say anything, damn him!
00:40:28 - Fedya, I hope there's no war going?
00:40:34 The Swedes are biting us, the Khan of
00:40:38 - You don't say!
00:40:40 - Why do You Let them?
00:40:46 Get up, Fyodor.
00:40:49 I don't bIame you...
00:40:52 Write down the tsar's edict.
00:40:55 I order
00:40:58 to Izyum Road
00:41:04 - Period.
00:41:12 Sign it, our great tsar.
00:41:14 I have no right to sign
00:41:24 No, I have no right to sign...
00:41:33 Acting for the tsar, I. Bunsha.
00:41:39 Here, Fedya.
00:41:41 And teII them
00:41:43 TeII them to capture Kazan on their
00:41:47 How come? Kazan is ours.
00:41:52 - ReaIIy?
00:41:53 You were too hasty to do it.
00:41:56 Since it's aIready taken, Iet it be.
00:42:06 WeII, go!
00:42:10 And in five minutes I don't want to
00:42:14 Mount your horses!
00:42:20 Start a song!
00:42:29 EarIy in the spring,
00:42:33 Vanyusha's bidding fareweII to his
00:42:37 CIad in a shirt of maiI,
00:42:41 ''Don't cry, Marusya, don't cry,
00:42:44 Marusya says nothing, onIy weeps,
00:42:48 Her sorrow
00:42:50 HoIds her heart in grips.
00:42:52 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
00:42:57 Drop the tears right onto his spear.
00:43:00 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
00:43:04 Drop a sea of tears,
00:43:08 Drop-drop-drop
00:43:14 In winter, coId 'n' severe,
00:43:17 Vanyusha's being greeted by his Iove.
00:43:21 CIad in a shirt of maiI,
00:43:25 ''I've come to you, I'm back, my dove.''
00:43:29 Marusya is so happy, she weeps,
00:43:33 Like a psaItery,
00:43:37 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
00:43:41 Drop the tears right onto his spear.
00:43:45 Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes,
00:43:49 drop so sweet a tear...
00:43:52 Drop, drop
00:43:53 Right onto his spear.
00:44:04 Drop, drop, drop!
00:44:11 Marusya is so happy, she weeps
00:44:15 Like a psaItery,
00:44:19 WeII, we got things going!
00:44:22 Why doesn't the inventor turn
00:44:25 - What a scandaI awaits me at home!
00:44:29 - I didn't teII UIyuana where I went.
00:44:34 We couIdn't care Iess,
00:44:38 Though owIs and woIves
00:44:43 AIexander Sergeyevich! I'm sorry
00:44:47 Did Ivan VassiIyevich drop by?
00:44:52 We couIdn't care Iess...
00:45:04 CLOSED FOR INVENTORY
00:45:15 CLOSED FOR REDECORATION
00:45:57 What a scoundreI!
00:46:00 I shouIdn't have confessed
00:46:08 Shurik, are you home?
00:46:12 Shurik!
00:46:24 Shurik!
00:46:44 What is that?
00:46:49 Oh, I've taken the bag of that
00:46:53 FILM STUDIO
00:46:57 First, this hystericaI woman
00:47:03 and then she mixed up our suitcases.
00:47:07 Karp SaveIyevich!
00:47:22 Wait for me and I'II be back.
00:47:34 HeIIo? Anyuta, you won't beIieve it!
00:47:38 I'm fIying to Gagry
00:47:41 Zinaida MikhaiIovna, I think
00:47:45 that it's aII over between us
00:47:49 Karp SaveIyevich,
00:47:52 PIease, return my bag, and here's
00:47:56 - I hope that aII My things are in it?
00:48:02 Oh, you bastard! You jerk!
00:48:05 I Ieft my husband, that saintIy man
00:48:10 a genius, an inventor,
00:48:12 for this scoundreI...
00:48:15 My goodness, such briIIiant Iines!
00:48:18 You haven't heard reaI Iines yet!
00:48:21 And two hours before our Ieaving,
00:48:23 I find him with some witch,
00:48:27 whom he's hoIding by her hand,
00:48:30 and behaving
00:48:35 We were rehearsing a scene.
00:48:38 This is my professionaI duty.
00:48:42 Enough! I'm fed up!
00:48:45 I'm Ieaving you
00:48:47 for director Budimir Kosoy
00:48:52 Kosoy is a fake.
00:48:55 And you're a faiIure!
00:48:59 Kosoy hasn't yet found anyone
00:49:02 What?
00:49:06 - But I've aIready rehearsed with him!
00:49:09 Here!
00:49:13 And who's pIaying Tsar Boris?
00:49:16 What Tsar Boris?
00:49:20 - Boriska?
00:49:23 - Boriska is to become a tsar?
00:49:27 That's how he, sIy fox, is paying
00:49:31 He wants to be a tsar
00:49:35 Death, that's what he deserves!
00:49:38 Oh, my God, what a character!
00:49:43 PIease, go on!
00:49:46 Why did you hurt this Boyar woman,
00:49:50 It's great! It's amazing!
00:49:54 Listen, I can't recognize you in your
00:49:58 Sergey Bondarchuk?
00:50:01 Oh, you're Yuri NikuIin!
00:50:07 Oh, my God!
00:50:11 Innokenty Smoktunovsky!
00:50:15 Kesha!
00:50:20 Why didn't you teII me?
00:50:22 - You vagabond, you viIe shrimp!
00:50:27 There, get it,
00:50:31 Oh, my God!
00:50:33 You scoundreI! Son of a bitch!
00:50:37 He is a reaI tsar!
00:50:41 HeIp! Somebody! CaII the poIice!
00:50:45 On your knees, you worm!
00:50:48 I've caught you, Yakin! AduIterer
00:50:51 Pray, son of a bitch!
00:50:56 - Oh, you're rehearsing?
00:51:02 What do you mean, rehearsing?
00:51:06 - Where are You going?
00:51:09 You act very weII!
00:51:12 And the tsar Iooks very authentic...
00:51:17 He Iooks just Iike Bunsha.
00:51:20 I've been robbed, Zinaida MikhaiIovna.
00:51:26 Who do you beIong to?
00:51:28 Excuse me, comrade actor,
00:51:32 - Whose serf are You?
00:51:36 A very stupid serf!
00:51:38 Excuse me, but why do you keep
00:51:42 - Where Did You get that word?
00:51:45 That part is denigrating!
00:51:49 Oh, God! Some apartment house!
00:51:53 We'II never win the honorary titIe of
00:51:56 This is an outrage! An outrage!
00:51:59 WeII, Iascivious shrimp, beg the Boyar
00:52:03 - Life.
00:52:06 Be mercifuI, O great tsar!
00:52:09 Life?
00:52:12 Be it your way.
00:52:20 Listen to me, Karp,
00:52:25 This is the reaI Ivan the TerribIe!
00:52:30 Do you remember I was teIIing you
00:52:33 WeII, Shurik did succeed with
00:52:43 - But he couId have kiIIed me!
00:52:48 It's crazy!
00:52:51 What do you mean, Ivan the TerribIe?
00:52:55 - Who's dead?
00:52:59 I mean the other one,
00:53:11 - Did You seduce the Boyar woman?
00:53:14 I am he... that Iiveth...
00:53:18 What do you mean, you Iiveth,
00:53:23 Liveth!
00:53:25 - HeIp me. Say something in SIavonic.
00:53:29 Thy... thy cherub.
00:53:33 Your ExceIIency, have mercy!
00:53:35 You have misunderstood me.
00:53:39 How can I understand you,
00:53:42 I don't know foreign Ianguages,
00:53:46 - do You Iove this Boyar woman?
00:53:51 Look at her! Beauteous to behoId,
00:53:54 crimson in her Iips, crescents in her
00:53:59 - What more do you want, dog?
00:54:02 Then marry her, fooI!
00:54:05 I'm asking for your hand,
00:54:10 HeIIo? GaIya? You're going to faII
00:54:14 Yakin has Ieft his witch,
00:54:17 and we're going to Gagry.
00:54:19 WeII, you sinning beard! ShouId I
00:54:24 - I swear!
00:54:26 - Yes, Sire!
00:54:31 - Thank him! Thank him!
00:54:39 Sire!
00:54:41 You can't stay here
00:54:45 PeopIe might think I don't know what.
00:54:47 Oh, God AImighty!
00:54:53 I've forgotten everything!
00:54:54 You must change your cIothes,
00:54:59 Oh, the demons' garb!
00:55:04 My mind is aII confused.
00:55:10 Stop being so fidgety! WeII, it is
00:55:15 You had better go
00:55:17 Yes, ma'am.
00:55:20 HeIIo? Vava?
00:55:25 Oh, my God!
00:55:31 He Iooks so much Iike our Bunsha!
00:55:36 - Pah!
00:55:38 - Dear Tsar, we must go.
00:55:42 We have a pIane to catch.
00:55:46 Godspeed!
00:55:48 May we thank you for everything?
00:55:51 You're a very spirited man!
00:56:16 HeIIo? Shurochka?
00:56:17 Can you imagine? Yakin
00:56:20 He proposed, and we're Ieaving
00:56:27 Go!
00:56:35 Oh, how beautifuI it is!
00:56:50 Beauteous!
00:56:54 Cigarette break!
00:57:00 - The Swedish Ambassador!
00:57:06 The Swedish ambassador
00:57:42 Bring the ambassador in.
00:57:47 Knit your brows! Knit your brows!
00:58:26 Der grosse Konig,
00:58:28 Des Schwedischen Konigreichs sende
00:58:34 seinen treuen Diener,
00:58:37 zu Ihnen, Czar and Grande Duc
00:58:43 Ivan VassiIyevich...
00:58:47 usarussa.
00:58:49 - This foreign tourist speaks weII!
00:58:53 I'II be damned if I know.
00:58:57 - We need an interpreter.
00:59:00 He got drunk as a Iord
00:59:03 - So We cooked him in boiIed water.
00:59:07 Schwedete armie erobern hut.
00:59:10 Answer something.
00:59:13 HitIer kaput!
00:59:16 Go on, Mister Ambassador.
00:59:20 - Kemska district.
00:59:26 AbsoIuteIy.
00:59:30 Look, comrade.
00:59:34 I wouId Iike to know
00:59:39 It's very simpIe.
00:59:42 They want Kemsk Region. They went to
00:59:46 What? Kemsk Region?
00:59:48 Ja, Kemska rejion. Ja, ja...
00:59:53 Take it if you want it! Oh, God!
00:59:56 - But you can't do it, benefactor.
01:00:00 Our state won't be any poorer for it.
01:00:04 Have mercy, our great tsar,
01:00:11 What are you doing, son of a bitch?
01:00:16 We shaII never have enough regions
01:00:18 So whadda I say my king?
01:00:23 Say your king
01:00:26 Whadda about Kemsk region?
01:00:28 Such questions, my dear ambassador,
01:00:32 We have to consuIt with comrades.
01:00:36 Yes, by the way, here's a IittIe
01:00:43 Here!
01:00:53 WeII, auf Wiedersehen!
01:01:04 Everyone can go!
01:01:10 The guards can go, too.
01:01:13 The guards can go.
01:01:25 Why are you crawIing, oId chap?
01:01:28 The ambassador has Iost his chest
01:01:32 He shouIdn't be so absent-minded. One
01:01:38 Why are you staring at me?
01:01:41 - do You think I took it?
01:01:45 You didn't take it, did you?
01:01:48 Maybe it has sIid under the throne?
01:01:52 No.
01:01:54 WeII, then nothing can be done.
01:01:56 What a misfortune!
01:02:05 I am again tormented by some
01:02:08 Shpak's tape recorder,
01:02:12 What are you driving at?
01:02:14 I'm asking you, you tsar's mug,
01:02:18 The Tartar Prince Yedigey is here
01:02:22 No.
01:02:27 CaIIing hours are over.
01:02:31 The tsar wishes to refect.
01:02:49 - I must be dreaming!
01:02:52 - Who's going to pay for this banquet?
01:02:57 Fedya, what is in there?
01:03:00 Hare's kidneys,
01:03:02 pike heads with garIic.
01:03:06 Red caviar.
01:03:08 And from overseas...
01:03:13 EggpIant caviar!
01:03:16 BeautifuI!
01:03:18 - WeII, tsar, Iet's drink.
01:03:49 Beauteous!
01:03:50 I Iook for him aII over the house, and
01:03:54 Why don't you Iook me in the eye?
01:03:56 Ivan VassiIyevich,
01:03:59 Everything I've got by working
01:04:03 Oh, Iook at you!
01:04:07 You don't Iook Iike yourseIf!
01:04:10 - Imported tape recorder, suede jacket...
01:04:15 There's nothing Ieft!
01:04:17 He can't stand on his feet!
01:04:21 Oh, God! What's going on?
01:04:25 Leave me aIone, oId woman,
01:04:28 OId woman? You jerk!
01:04:31 I'm five years younger than you!
01:04:34 Let's go home, now!
01:04:36 You are a witch!
01:04:39 HeIp!
01:04:41 Ivan VassiIyevich, caIm down.
01:04:48 - Witch!
01:04:52 - And What do You want?
01:04:55 that's the Iist of stoIen things.
01:04:58 Two tape recorders, two movie cameras,
01:05:03 Is it the way to hand in a petition
01:05:07 What do you mean? Stop your
01:05:11 You and your drunken tricks! I'II fiIe
01:05:17 I see you never stop, Iackey!
01:05:21 HeIIo? Is that a psychiatric ward?
01:05:25 My husband has got a deIirium tremens.
01:05:30 - Stop! Take the knife away!
01:05:35 Just Iook at our activist!
01:05:39 - LowIy trash!
01:05:42 Lackey!
01:05:43 The poIice wiII decide who's a Iackey
01:05:46 Is it the poIice?
01:05:48 - Wait! He's not Bunsha!
01:05:52 He's Ivan the TerribIe. The reaI one.
01:06:07 I'm busy. CaII me Iater.
01:06:10 - Oh, my God! What's going on?
01:06:14 I beg you to promise that you won't
01:06:17 Of course! You have my word.
01:06:20 - Thank You.
01:06:28 HeIIo? The poIice?
01:06:31 That's Shpak speaking, who's been
01:06:34 No, it's not about the robbery.
01:06:38 Engineer Timofeyev has a Iive
01:06:43 No, I don't drink.
01:06:48 I'm giving you my word of honor!
01:06:51 I'II be waiting.
01:06:59 I can imagine how they fight now
01:07:03 Fedya, what are you doing there, by
01:07:08 Here!
01:07:13 Listen, oId chap, do they accept
01:07:20 - We can arrange it.
01:07:22 The tsarina is here, Sire.
01:07:30 Fedya, go back to the kidneys! It was a
01:07:35 What? Whoa! Whoa!
01:07:45 Dear tsarina! I'm so gIad!
01:07:50 HeIIo, I'm the tsar. Nice to meet you.
01:07:55 Very pIeased, I'm the tsar. Nice to
01:08:01 PIease, come to our tabIe.
01:08:06 This way, pIease.
01:08:10 Haven't we met before?
01:08:12 - What are you saying, shit?
01:08:15 Hey! Waiter!
01:08:19 Excuse me for a minute.
01:08:22 - Sorry, your name, pIease?
01:08:27 WonderfuI! Enchanting!
01:08:31 Marfa VassiIyevna, how enchanting!
01:08:34 - Oh, no!
01:08:38 Your heaIth!
01:08:43 WeII, everyone keeps saying: tsar,
01:08:47 You think, Marfa VassiIyevna,
01:08:50 No, on the contrary!
01:08:53 Every working man has two days off,
01:08:57 And our working hours are not fixed.
01:09:00 PIease, eat, Margarita VassiIyevna.
01:09:05 You know, a tsar's job is so unheaIthy
01:09:11 They wrote it in the HeaIth Magazine
01:09:14 that the nervous ceIIs are never
01:09:17 You work and work, our great tsar,
01:09:22 Margo, you aIone understand me!
01:09:29 - One more gIass to Go with a pike head?
01:09:35 TeII me, pIease, do you have
01:09:39 - I see you're dead drunk!
01:09:42 Why don't you pIay, maestro?
01:09:49 That's not a big bIack cIoud coming...
01:09:57 A cIoud!
01:10:00 That's not a thunderstorm striking...
01:10:09 A thunderstorm!
01:10:11 That's the tsar of Crimea, a viIe dog...
01:10:21 A dog!
01:10:28 What do you mean, a dog?
01:10:31 How dare you sing such songs
01:10:35 You got out of hand here, without me.
01:10:39 You ought to sing songs for the masses,
01:10:43 Like... how does it go?
01:10:46 We're not the tiIi-tiIi,
01:10:50 CooI it, Vanya. We'II do everything.
01:10:54 Excuse me, what's your name again?
01:10:56 - I'm Marfa VassiIyevna!
01:11:00 Oh, Marfusha! The night is stiII young!
01:11:03 Give us a Iine,
01:11:06 Wait! Quiet!
01:11:08 AII of a sudden,
01:11:13 Out of the bIue,
01:11:15 Love knocked down
01:11:19 Upon my door.
01:11:21 Is that it? Is that you?
01:11:28 Snow was faIIing, dawn after dawn,
01:11:31 Days were rainy and mean.
01:11:35 So many years, why were you gone?
01:11:38 Where have you ever been?
01:11:45 Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked,
01:11:50 And suddenIy, aII made sense.
01:11:53 Fate pIayed tricks. Fate intrigued.
01:11:56 And here's our meeting, hence.
01:11:59 I froze at sea, traveIed by train.
01:12:02 I know it was not in vain.
01:12:04 No, it was not in vain,
01:12:10 AII has happened, aII came true.
01:12:16 How couId I Iive aII this through?
01:12:22 If you wait and take it in,
01:12:28 Then you can get it, what you dreamed
01:12:31 And go hope for more.
01:12:34 Everybody dance!
01:12:37 Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked,
01:12:41 And, suddenIy, aII made sense.
01:12:45 Fate pIayed tricks. Fate intrigued.
01:12:48 And here's our meeting, hence.
01:12:50 I froze at sea, traveIed by train.
01:12:53 I know it was not in vain.
01:12:55 No, it was not in vain,
01:14:14 A mutiny in the army!
01:14:29 My dear autocrat, we're done in!
01:14:33 I demand that the banquet go on!
01:14:38 Why are we done in? Why?
01:15:15 This way!
01:15:20 Come on, Prince, hurry up!
01:15:24 Everything wiII be ready in 3 minutes.
01:15:48 Wait a bit, Ivan VassiIyevich. You'd
01:15:52 Damn!
01:16:14 Do you smoke?
01:16:18 You don't? Good.
01:16:21 So teII me, who are you?
01:16:24 - I am the tsar.
01:16:27 - Wait. your name?
01:16:31 - First, second name?
01:16:35 Ivan...
01:16:37 - Date of birth?
01:16:44 - Joking?
01:16:48 - Wait. Residence?
01:16:53 What paIace?
01:16:57 - What am I accused of, Boyar?
01:17:01 - Was it you who busted Shpak's pIace?
01:17:05 I took Kazan, I took Astrakhan,
01:17:08 I took ReveI,
01:17:12 There he is! You're bagged!
01:17:15 -What's up, foIks? Who are you?
01:17:18 You're Iying!
01:17:22 See? He got drunk out of his wits!
01:17:26 I had to caII the psychiatric ward.
01:17:30 Oh, that's what it's aII about!
01:17:34 He took Kazan. He took Astrakhan.
01:17:38 It's deIirium tremens.
01:17:40 What's the patient's reaI name?
01:17:44 - Bunsha, Ivan VassiIyevich.
01:17:48 I hate him!
01:17:51 Attention!
01:17:53 Get ready!
01:18:04 Take the impostors aIive!
01:18:16 BIack caviar!
01:18:20 Red caviar!
01:18:24 And from overseas, eggpIant caviar!
01:19:16 Comrade Timofeyev! AIexander
01:19:21 Ivan VassiIyevich, hurry up!
01:19:37 - are You aII right?
01:19:41 The poIice wiII beIieve it! You wiII
01:19:48 Sire!
01:20:00 Why do you have poIice at your door,
01:20:05 There was a burgIary at your friend
01:20:08 ReaIIy?
01:20:14 - We detained One more.
01:20:19 Not detained. I was on my way
01:20:24 I'm deIighted to hand myseIf in to my
01:20:28 - Who are you?
01:20:34 So you insist that you're Ivan
01:20:37 Your ID, pIease.
01:20:40 - I forgot it at home.
01:20:45 WeII, anybody! You may ask my wife,
01:20:50 WeII, weII, weII.
01:20:53 What did you want to make
01:20:56 I confess that against my wiII, under
01:21:01 I acted temporariIy as a tsar.
01:21:03 A tsar?
01:21:06 Yes, a tsar.
01:21:09 You're Iying, dog!
01:21:14 HooIigan!
01:21:17 Everything I've got by working
01:21:21 Three tape recorders,
01:21:25 three home-made cigarette cases,
01:21:32 And they want to be awarded the titIe
01:21:39 UIyana Andreyevna, teII us again
01:21:45 I've aIready toId you!
01:21:47 My husband, Ivan VassiIyevich Bunsha.
01:21:50 - They'II cure you, aIcohoIic.
01:21:58 - Impostor!
01:22:02 - So, who is he?
01:22:06 They wiII cure you, too.
01:22:13 - It turns out you've got 2 husbands?
01:22:19 And they're both Bunshas?
01:22:24 Yes, both of them.
01:22:29 You'II be cured.
01:22:32 And you'II be cured.
01:22:37 And I'II be cured, too.
01:22:41 What you toId me is grandiose!
01:22:45 If I were you,
01:22:49 I ain't in no hurry.
01:23:02 Is that it? Is that you?
01:23:08 UIyana Andreyevna,
01:23:10 The tsarina tried to seduce me,
01:23:21 - MiIosIavsky was aImost in our hands!
01:23:25 - Yes! Arrest him!
01:23:29 Wait!
01:23:31 HoId on! Get him!
01:24:07 I was absoIuteIy sure
01:24:11 Hurry up, Prince.
01:24:15 - Where have You been aII this time?
01:24:25 They're after me, Prince!
01:24:30 Run, Ivan VassiIyevich!
01:24:36 - Hurry, Ivan VassiIyevich!
01:24:39 Oh, God, forgive me my sins!
01:24:42 EviI spirit!
01:24:45 - FareweII, Prince!
01:25:18 - It's outrageous!
01:25:20 - He's taunting us!
01:25:24 Oh, you're aIready out of the asyIum?
01:25:27 - Stop your hooIiganism!
01:25:30 That's scandaIous!
01:25:32 He's wearing gIasses just for nothing!
01:25:40 We send them to coIIege,
01:25:46 What was it?
01:25:49 Was itjust a dream, or was it reaI?
01:25:54 Ivan the TerribIe... MiIosIavsky...
01:26:00 Oh, I forgot. Zina has Ieft me.
01:26:07 No, it's aII nonsense!
01:26:10 I was just knocked out!
01:26:14 And what if it's not nonsense?
01:26:17 My goodness!
01:26:20 You smoked again!
01:26:23 And, of course, you didn't eat
01:26:34 - You haven't Ieft for Gagry?
01:26:38 You're going crazy
01:26:47 Oh, how did you get yourseIf
01:26:52 Zina, teII me the truth.
01:26:57 - Where have You been?
01:27:00 AII right...
01:27:01 Give me a straight answer.
01:27:07 - What Yakin? What is it with You?
01:27:14 We have no director by that name.
01:27:19 - is it true?
01:27:22 Hurray!
01:27:46 Ciao!
01:27:48 Thank you for your attention!
01:27:51 The End