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Ivan Vasilevich menyaet professiyu Ivan Vasilyevich Changes Occupation
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AN ExPERIMENTAL ARTISTIC |
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A NON-SCIENCE-FICTION, |
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AND NOT STRICTLY HISTORICAL |
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BASED ON M. BULGAKOV'S PLAY |
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IVAN VASSILYEVICH |
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Written by |
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Directed by |
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Directors of Photography |
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Production Designer |
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Music by |
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Starring |
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YURI YAKOVLEV |
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ALExANDER DEMYANENKO |
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NATALYA SELEZNYOVA |
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NATALYA KUSTINSKAYA |
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MIKHAIL PUGOVKIN |
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Long Iive Tsar Boris Fyodorovich! |
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Long Iive our father, our tsar! |
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GIory! |
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Damn! |
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Hey, what's the matter? |
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It's outrageous! |
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- Comrade Timofeyev, when wiII it end? |
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When wiII be the end |
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which Ieave our whoIe buiIding |
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There you go. |
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Ivan VassiIyevich, if you knew |
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I'm working on, you wouIdn't have |
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Experiments with eIectricity |
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and at home eIectricity must be used |
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How many times did I teII you... |
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I'm on Ieave, so I work at home. |
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As the pubIic representative, |
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Today you've burned the fuses, |
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STUPID |
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And what is this? |
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You see? |
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I'II need to raise the voItage. |
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Dangerous! Of course, it's dangerous, |
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Your onIy Iove |
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Our pIanet's turning, |
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The pIanet's fIying |
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It's very hard |
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A winter bIizzard is raging, |
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And thunderstorms are bIazing, |
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And stars in the sky are racing, |
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And peopIe don't see each other, |
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They just pass by each other, |
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They aIways Iose each other, |
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Never to find again. |
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But there's somewhere |
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My unforgettabIe, |
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My true big Iove. |
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I Iook for it, |
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But in everyday beat |
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It's hard for us to meet. |
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A winter bIizzard is raging, |
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And thunderstorms are bIazing, |
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And stars in the sky are racing, |
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And cities din in the rain. |
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And peopIe don't see each other, |
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They just pass by each other, |
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They aIways Iose each other, |
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Never to find again. |
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Never to find again. |
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I can imagine what's going to happen! |
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I hope we can avoid a scandaI! |
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Those scandaIs are so tiresome. |
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I was divorced three times. |
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Yes, that's right, three times. |
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I've never been as nervous as today. |
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WeII, I'm going to do it! |
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Oh, Shurik! |
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Your apparatus is going to kiII you! |
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My apparatus, Zinochka, wiII make me |
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ReaIIy? |
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I'm sorry to bother you, |
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but I have terribIe news for you. |
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My gIoves have been stoIen from me |
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And I feII in Iove with another man. |
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- Yes, your gIoves. What about them? |
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WeII, it's done! |
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OnIy, pIease, no objections, |
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What? |
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You probabIy think it's MoIchanovsky? |
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Zupperman? |
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AII right! |
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He is... fiIm director Yakin. |
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WeII, weII, weII. |
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It's strange though. It happens |
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The man is toId that his wife is |
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At the very Ieast, it's impoIite. |
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You mean that taII, bIond man? |
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UnbeIievabIe! To show so IittIe |
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The bIond one is MoIchanovsky. |
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And Yakin is... |
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What? You ask |
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Today we're Ieaving for Gagry |
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And Iater, he wiII be given a fIat. |
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Sure, he is Iying! |
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Oh, aII this is so ridicuIous! |
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To insuIt a man because you're |
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He can't be Iying every minute! |
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During my many sIeepIess nights, |
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and I came to the concIusion |
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Can't you understand, AIexander, that |
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But your caImness |
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You know, Shurik, I even feeI Iike |
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- No, don't do it. |
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- I'm sure. |
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Goodbye, Shurik. |
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But don't canceI my house registration. |
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AIexander Sergeyevich! |
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PIease, teII Zinaida MikhaiIovna |
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that KapitoIina Nikiforovna offered |
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Zinaida MikhaiIovna has Ieft. |
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- Where for? |
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What do you mean, with her Iover? |
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- You're a very strange man. |
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You are some character! |
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If I were your wife, |
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If you were my wife, |
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You jerk! |
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Is that the dentaI cIinic? |
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Extension 3-62? |
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May I speak to Anton Shpak, pIease? |
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Anton, that's for you. |
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- Who's caIIing? |
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Keep your mouth open. |
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Speaking. |
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Anton Semyonovich? HeIIo. |
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I'm an actress. No, you don't know me, |
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So you work untiI four? |
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I'm Iooking forward to it! |
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WeII, Iet's continue. |
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A.S. Shpak |
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How Iucky for me to drop by! |
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FoIks, keep your money in a bank! |
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NaturaIIy, if you have it! |
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What do you care about my reIations |
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It's none of your business whether |
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That's our personaI matter. |
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No, that's a pubIic matter. Your |
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- What do You want from me? |
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Then you may divorce as much |
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When you're taIking, Ivan |
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What do you mean? |
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And about your suspicious machine. |
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I'm asking you to fiIe an appIication. |
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Do it, or we'II fiIe a compIaint. |
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Wait. Wait! There's nothing |
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I simpIy invented |
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In other words, I can run through |
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- Go back to the past? |
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These experiments, AIexander, |
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can be done onIy by permission |
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Wait, Ivan VassiIyevich. |
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Let me expIain. |
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That's it! |
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And now we're going to test |
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You're witnessing |
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First, we'II try a cIose distance. |
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Look, |
| 00:17:19 |
- Did You see it? |
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- You see? |
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What happened? |
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AIexander Sergeyevich, |
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What is it? What's going on? |
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Timofeyev, you wiII answer for it |
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Go to heII |
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- HaIf a fIat has vanished. |
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What do you mean, no big deaI? |
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I've seen some technicaI wonders, |
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- Excuse me, and who are you? |
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- I'm a friend of Anton Shpak. |
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What am I doing? |
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I'm waiting for my friend. |
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And how did you get into his fIat |
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Oh, go to heII! |
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Never mind. I've gone through time. |
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TeII me, can you Iift |
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A waII?! |
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Your invention is invaIuabIe. |
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- CongratuIations. |
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Why are you staring at me? There're |
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You're wearing the same imported |
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ReaIIy? |
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Is Shpak the onIy one in Moscow |
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What is your name? |
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I'm an artiste of aII big and smaII |
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And my name is too famous |
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Do you want to get back to Shpak's |
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I'd better take a Iook at your |
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- I Iike it. |
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You're my first witness. |
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It's my first time |
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Why are you staring? You're going to |
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Do you reaIize |
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You bet! But teII me... |
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Can you Iift a waII Iike that |
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- My, what a usefuI invention! |
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Forget the waII. |
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The most important thing is that |
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I can enter time. |
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You have ignored my question |
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Darn you! |
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What a machine! A breakthrough in |
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I can't wait! |
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and see the ancient Moscow! |
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What are you saying, Timofeyev? |
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Before seeing the ancient Moscow, |
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Just a minute! |
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If you mess again with the academic's |
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- I'm going to... |
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Do it. |
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- I'm so nervous. |
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...to the heavenIy abode... |
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...to the Reverend Father Superior, |
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Kuzma... |
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the Tsar and Grand Duke of aII Russia... |
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Of aII Russia... |
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is bowing Iow. |
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Go on writing. |
| 00:21:51 |
Look! |
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You're kidding! |
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Mamma mia! |
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The demons! |
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The demons! |
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Away! |
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Woe is me, the sinner! |
| 00:22:29 |
The eviI spirit! |
| 00:22:31 |
- Wait! Where are you going? Wait! |
| 00:22:50 |
- Who are You caIIing? |
| 00:22:53 |
- Put down the phone. |
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- The phone! Put down the phone! |
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Put down the phone, I say! |
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- Easy! Easy! |
| 00:23:06 |
Where are the demons? |
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Get them! |
| 00:23:38 |
Wait! Wait! |
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They've bricked me up! |
| 00:24:39 |
That's what the Iife-giving cross |
| 00:25:03 |
And where's the tsar? |
| 00:25:09 |
You shouIdn't drink so much. |
| 00:25:24 |
Where are they? |
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Hurry! Move it! |
| 00:25:45 |
Why are they yeIIing? |
| 00:25:47 |
They cannot yeII. |
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See how those dead can shoot? |
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- Open up, dog! |
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- You. |
| 00:26:34 |
Oh, I feeI so bad! |
| 00:26:38 |
I toId you aIready. |
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Don't dare Iying to me! |
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Not by human wish, but by God's wiII, |
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Very weII! |
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AIas, aIas, I'm the tsar |
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Send me back, magician! |
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I cannot! You see, |
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Thank you! |
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so I cannot send you back |
| 00:27:11 |
- Buy them, then. |
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Oh, woe is me! |
| 00:27:18 |
- Take it easy, Ivan VassiIyevich! |
| 00:27:23 |
- do You drink vodka? |
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Good. |
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UnfortunateIy, there's no anise vodka. |
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I say, there's no anise vodka, |
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Drink it! |
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- Taste it from My cup. |
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Go on, taste it... |
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You think I want to poison you? |
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We don't do that any more, |
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and in our day, you'd sooner get |
| 00:27:58 |
Don't be afraid, drink up! |
| 00:28:01 |
- Let you be heaIthy, Boyar! |
| 00:28:08 |
- Was it your housekeeper Who made it? |
| 00:28:22 |
- Who made this machine? You? |
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I had a man Iike you. |
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- WeII? |
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I put him on a gun-powder barreI. |
| 00:28:34 |
Why did you do it? |
| 00:28:36 |
No, no. I don't drink. I don't drink, |
| 00:28:39 |
- Don't you have any respect for me? |
| 00:28:42 |
- Then drink. |
| 00:28:47 |
- WeII, be heaIthy! |
| 00:28:56 |
So, you Iive here? |
| 00:28:59 |
- WeII, very cramped quarters. |
| 00:29:03 |
- Yes, that's right. |
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And your woman, |
| 00:29:09 |
My woman eIoped today with |
| 00:29:14 |
You are kidding?! |
| 00:29:17 |
When they catch them, first thing |
| 00:29:21 |
Why? |
| 00:29:24 |
I wish them every happiness. |
| 00:29:32 |
How kind you are! |
| 00:29:35 |
Oh, God! What's going on? |
| 00:29:38 |
I sit here, whiIe the Swedes |
| 00:29:41 |
Send me back, Boyar. |
| 00:29:44 |
Go and buy those transistors. |
| 00:29:49 |
Just a minute. |
| 00:29:54 |
I'm busy. |
| 00:29:58 |
- I'm going with you. |
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No, Ivan VassiIyevich, |
| 00:30:03 |
Hurry up, though, Boyar! |
| 00:30:06 |
I'm in a hurry myseIf. |
| 00:30:10 |
What's going to happen to them? |
| 00:30:12 |
- They'II be beheaded, that's aII. |
| 00:30:15 |
To heII with them! |
| 00:30:27 |
Take the demons aIive! |
| 00:31:37 |
Wait! |
| 00:33:24 |
Eureka! |
| 00:33:26 |
The tsar's garb! |
| 00:33:29 |
Put them on. |
| 00:33:33 |
No way! |
| 00:33:35 |
Put them on, or I'II kiII you! |
| 00:34:45 |
TaIk to me, my dear guitar, |
| 00:34:48 |
My friend of seven strings. |
| 00:34:52 |
AII my heart is open ajar, |
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And the night with moonIight sings. |
| 00:34:58 |
WeII, once, |
| 00:35:03 |
And again many, many, many times. |
| 00:35:08 |
Yes, once and again, and again |
| 00:35:13 |
BIue cornfIowers in the fieId, |
| 00:35:21 |
My heart is torn between the guiIt |
| 00:35:27 |
WeII, once, then another time, |
| 00:35:31 |
And again many, many, many times. |
| 00:35:35 |
Yes, once and again, and again |
| 00:35:42 |
- WeII, how do I Iook? |
| 00:35:45 |
Let me tie up your teeth at Ieast. |
| 00:35:53 |
- the other tsar Iooks smarter. |
| 00:36:00 |
Sit down! |
| 00:36:03 |
Take the stick. |
| 00:36:05 |
- Go ahead, dictate. |
| 00:36:08 |
The tsar, repeat it, |
| 00:36:10 |
The tsar, repeat it, |
| 00:36:13 |
Don't repeat ''repeat it''! |
| 00:36:20 |
So you say: |
| 00:36:24 |
I wrote it, comma. |
| 00:36:28 |
Where the heII |
| 00:36:31 |
What's up, comrades? |
| 00:36:34 |
I'm asking you, |
| 00:36:43 |
Who's that parasite who dared to |
| 00:36:49 |
Did they put it here |
| 00:36:55 |
Go on, Your Majesty! |
| 00:37:03 |
I'm waiting for the answer |
| 00:37:06 |
The tsar! The tsar's here! |
| 00:37:12 |
The tsar's here! |
| 00:37:14 |
Sit! |
| 00:37:16 |
Where eIse can he be? |
| 00:37:19 |
Have mercy, don't put me to death, |
| 00:37:22 |
The demons grabbed you, |
| 00:37:26 |
And, suddenIy, the demons vanished! |
| 00:37:30 |
They were there, we don't deny it. |
| 00:37:34 |
PIease, stop this ridicuIous panic! |
| 00:37:38 |
I'm Theophanes, a cIerk |
| 00:37:42 |
AII right, Fedya. |
| 00:37:45 |
The rest, pIease, Ieave the tsar's |
| 00:37:50 |
Bark at them! |
| 00:37:52 |
Out! |
| 00:38:00 |
Have mercy, Sire! |
| 00:38:02 |
Stop your somersauIts! You did it |
| 00:38:08 |
What's the matter with you, Sire? |
| 00:38:13 |
Have you taken iII? |
| 00:38:17 |
Don't sit Iike a dummy! |
| 00:38:21 |
I've got a toothache. |
| 00:38:23 |
He's got periostitis, a gumboiI. |
| 00:38:25 |
- And you stop pestering the tsar! |
| 00:38:27 |
Fedya, enough of your bowing! Are |
| 00:38:34 |
- Nice to meet You. |
| 00:38:37 |
but I don't recognize you. |
| 00:38:40 |
Me? WeII, I might be. |
| 00:38:45 |
How do you happen to be in the tsar's |
| 00:38:50 |
- Oh, Sire, who is he? |
| 00:38:55 |
What a fooI! |
| 00:38:58 |
The tsar says that I'm Prince |
| 00:39:03 |
- Oh my! Stay away! |
| 00:39:07 |
- You've been executed! |
| 00:39:11 |
By the tsar's order, you were hanged |
| 00:39:23 |
WeII, thanks! |
| 00:39:27 |
HeIp me out, or we'II screw it. |
| 00:39:30 |
Why don't you say something, bastard? |
| 00:39:32 |
Oh, now I remember! |
| 00:39:36 |
What was his first name, the one |
| 00:39:39 |
- Vanka the Robber. |
| 00:39:42 |
That bandit was just my namesake. |
| 00:39:46 |
Am I right? |
| 00:39:48 |
PIease... |
| 00:39:52 |
Why are they shouting there? |
| 00:39:55 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:39:58 |
The tsar! |
| 00:40:03 |
Go! Go! Score! Score! |
| 00:40:07 |
The common peopIe wish to see their |
| 00:40:12 |
Oh, no, it's out of the question. |
| 00:40:14 |
We have no time for that. |
| 00:40:21 |
They have to be sent away at once, |
| 00:40:26 |
StiII wouIdn't say anything, damn him! |
| 00:40:28 |
- Fedya, I hope there's no war going? |
| 00:40:34 |
The Swedes are biting us, the Khan of |
| 00:40:38 |
- You don't say! |
| 00:40:40 |
- Why do You Let them? |
| 00:40:46 |
Get up, Fyodor. |
| 00:40:49 |
I don't bIame you... |
| 00:40:52 |
Write down the tsar's edict. |
| 00:40:55 |
I order |
| 00:40:58 |
to Izyum Road |
| 00:41:04 |
- Period. |
| 00:41:12 |
Sign it, our great tsar. |
| 00:41:14 |
I have no right to sign |
| 00:41:24 |
No, I have no right to sign... |
| 00:41:33 |
Acting for the tsar, I. Bunsha. |
| 00:41:39 |
Here, Fedya. |
| 00:41:41 |
And teII them |
| 00:41:43 |
TeII them to capture Kazan on their |
| 00:41:47 |
How come? Kazan is ours. |
| 00:41:52 |
- ReaIIy? |
| 00:41:53 |
You were too hasty to do it. |
| 00:41:56 |
Since it's aIready taken, Iet it be. |
| 00:42:06 |
WeII, go! |
| 00:42:10 |
And in five minutes I don't want to |
| 00:42:14 |
Mount your horses! |
| 00:42:20 |
Start a song! |
| 00:42:29 |
EarIy in the spring, |
| 00:42:33 |
Vanyusha's bidding fareweII to his |
| 00:42:37 |
CIad in a shirt of maiI, |
| 00:42:41 |
''Don't cry, Marusya, don't cry, |
| 00:42:44 |
Marusya says nothing, onIy weeps, |
| 00:42:48 |
Her sorrow |
| 00:42:50 |
HoIds her heart in grips. |
| 00:42:52 |
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, |
| 00:42:57 |
Drop the tears right onto his spear. |
| 00:43:00 |
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, |
| 00:43:04 |
Drop a sea of tears, |
| 00:43:08 |
Drop-drop-drop |
| 00:43:14 |
In winter, coId 'n' severe, |
| 00:43:17 |
Vanyusha's being greeted by his Iove. |
| 00:43:21 |
CIad in a shirt of maiI, |
| 00:43:25 |
''I've come to you, I'm back, my dove.'' |
| 00:43:29 |
Marusya is so happy, she weeps, |
| 00:43:33 |
Like a psaItery, |
| 00:43:37 |
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, |
| 00:43:41 |
Drop the tears right onto his spear. |
| 00:43:45 |
Drop, drop, drop! Marusya's eyes, |
| 00:43:49 |
drop so sweet a tear... |
| 00:43:52 |
Drop, drop |
| 00:43:53 |
Right onto his spear. |
| 00:44:04 |
Drop, drop, drop! |
| 00:44:11 |
Marusya is so happy, she weeps |
| 00:44:15 |
Like a psaItery, |
| 00:44:19 |
WeII, we got things going! |
| 00:44:22 |
Why doesn't the inventor turn |
| 00:44:25 |
- What a scandaI awaits me at home! |
| 00:44:29 |
- I didn't teII UIyuana where I went. |
| 00:44:34 |
We couIdn't care Iess, |
| 00:44:38 |
Though owIs and woIves |
| 00:44:43 |
AIexander Sergeyevich! I'm sorry |
| 00:44:47 |
Did Ivan VassiIyevich drop by? |
| 00:44:52 |
We couIdn't care Iess... |
| 00:45:04 |
CLOSED FOR INVENTORY |
| 00:45:15 |
CLOSED FOR REDECORATION |
| 00:45:57 |
What a scoundreI! |
| 00:46:00 |
I shouIdn't have confessed |
| 00:46:08 |
Shurik, are you home? |
| 00:46:12 |
Shurik! |
| 00:46:24 |
Shurik! |
| 00:46:44 |
What is that? |
| 00:46:49 |
Oh, I've taken the bag of that |
| 00:46:53 |
FILM STUDIO |
| 00:46:57 |
First, this hystericaI woman |
| 00:47:03 |
and then she mixed up our suitcases. |
| 00:47:07 |
Karp SaveIyevich! |
| 00:47:22 |
Wait for me and I'II be back. |
| 00:47:34 |
HeIIo? Anyuta, you won't beIieve it! |
| 00:47:38 |
I'm fIying to Gagry |
| 00:47:41 |
Zinaida MikhaiIovna, I think |
| 00:47:45 |
that it's aII over between us |
| 00:47:49 |
Karp SaveIyevich, |
| 00:47:52 |
PIease, return my bag, and here's |
| 00:47:56 |
- I hope that aII My things are in it? |
| 00:48:02 |
Oh, you bastard! You jerk! |
| 00:48:05 |
I Ieft my husband, that saintIy man |
| 00:48:10 |
a genius, an inventor, |
| 00:48:12 |
for this scoundreI... |
| 00:48:15 |
My goodness, such briIIiant Iines! |
| 00:48:18 |
You haven't heard reaI Iines yet! |
| 00:48:21 |
And two hours before our Ieaving, |
| 00:48:23 |
I find him with some witch, |
| 00:48:27 |
whom he's hoIding by her hand, |
| 00:48:30 |
and behaving |
| 00:48:35 |
We were rehearsing a scene. |
| 00:48:38 |
This is my professionaI duty. |
| 00:48:42 |
Enough! I'm fed up! |
| 00:48:45 |
I'm Ieaving you |
| 00:48:47 |
for director Budimir Kosoy |
| 00:48:52 |
Kosoy is a fake. |
| 00:48:55 |
And you're a faiIure! |
| 00:48:59 |
Kosoy hasn't yet found anyone |
| 00:49:02 |
What? |
| 00:49:06 |
- But I've aIready rehearsed with him! |
| 00:49:09 |
Here! |
| 00:49:13 |
And who's pIaying Tsar Boris? |
| 00:49:16 |
What Tsar Boris? |
| 00:49:20 |
- Boriska? |
| 00:49:23 |
- Boriska is to become a tsar? |
| 00:49:27 |
That's how he, sIy fox, is paying |
| 00:49:31 |
He wants to be a tsar |
| 00:49:35 |
Death, that's what he deserves! |
| 00:49:38 |
Oh, my God, what a character! |
| 00:49:43 |
PIease, go on! |
| 00:49:46 |
Why did you hurt this Boyar woman, |
| 00:49:50 |
It's great! It's amazing! |
| 00:49:54 |
Listen, I can't recognize you in your |
| 00:49:58 |
Sergey Bondarchuk? |
| 00:50:01 |
Oh, you're Yuri NikuIin! |
| 00:50:07 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:50:11 |
Innokenty Smoktunovsky! |
| 00:50:15 |
Kesha! |
| 00:50:20 |
Why didn't you teII me? |
| 00:50:22 |
- You vagabond, you viIe shrimp! |
| 00:50:27 |
There, get it, |
| 00:50:31 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:50:33 |
You scoundreI! Son of a bitch! |
| 00:50:37 |
He is a reaI tsar! |
| 00:50:41 |
HeIp! Somebody! CaII the poIice! |
| 00:50:45 |
On your knees, you worm! |
| 00:50:48 |
I've caught you, Yakin! AduIterer |
| 00:50:51 |
Pray, son of a bitch! |
| 00:50:56 |
- Oh, you're rehearsing? |
| 00:51:02 |
What do you mean, rehearsing? |
| 00:51:06 |
- Where are You going? |
| 00:51:09 |
You act very weII! |
| 00:51:12 |
And the tsar Iooks very authentic... |
| 00:51:17 |
He Iooks just Iike Bunsha. |
| 00:51:20 |
I've been robbed, Zinaida MikhaiIovna. |
| 00:51:26 |
Who do you beIong to? |
| 00:51:28 |
Excuse me, comrade actor, |
| 00:51:32 |
- Whose serf are You? |
| 00:51:36 |
A very stupid serf! |
| 00:51:38 |
Excuse me, but why do you keep |
| 00:51:42 |
- Where Did You get that word? |
| 00:51:45 |
That part is denigrating! |
| 00:51:49 |
Oh, God! Some apartment house! |
| 00:51:53 |
We'II never win the honorary titIe of |
| 00:51:56 |
This is an outrage! An outrage! |
| 00:51:59 |
WeII, Iascivious shrimp, beg the Boyar |
| 00:52:03 |
- Life. |
| 00:52:06 |
Be mercifuI, O great tsar! |
| 00:52:09 |
Life? |
| 00:52:12 |
Be it your way. |
| 00:52:20 |
Listen to me, Karp, |
| 00:52:25 |
This is the reaI Ivan the TerribIe! |
| 00:52:30 |
Do you remember I was teIIing you |
| 00:52:33 |
WeII, Shurik did succeed with |
| 00:52:43 |
- But he couId have kiIIed me! |
| 00:52:48 |
It's crazy! |
| 00:52:51 |
What do you mean, Ivan the TerribIe? |
| 00:52:55 |
- Who's dead? |
| 00:52:59 |
I mean the other one, |
| 00:53:11 |
- Did You seduce the Boyar woman? |
| 00:53:14 |
I am he... that Iiveth... |
| 00:53:18 |
What do you mean, you Iiveth, |
| 00:53:23 |
Liveth! |
| 00:53:25 |
- HeIp me. Say something in SIavonic. |
| 00:53:29 |
Thy... thy cherub. |
| 00:53:33 |
Your ExceIIency, have mercy! |
| 00:53:35 |
You have misunderstood me. |
| 00:53:39 |
How can I understand you, |
| 00:53:42 |
I don't know foreign Ianguages, |
| 00:53:46 |
- do You Iove this Boyar woman? |
| 00:53:51 |
Look at her! Beauteous to behoId, |
| 00:53:54 |
crimson in her Iips, crescents in her |
| 00:53:59 |
- What more do you want, dog? |
| 00:54:02 |
Then marry her, fooI! |
| 00:54:05 |
I'm asking for your hand, |
| 00:54:10 |
HeIIo? GaIya? You're going to faII |
| 00:54:14 |
Yakin has Ieft his witch, |
| 00:54:17 |
and we're going to Gagry. |
| 00:54:19 |
WeII, you sinning beard! ShouId I |
| 00:54:24 |
- I swear! |
| 00:54:26 |
- Yes, Sire! |
| 00:54:31 |
- Thank him! Thank him! |
| 00:54:39 |
Sire! |
| 00:54:41 |
You can't stay here |
| 00:54:45 |
PeopIe might think I don't know what. |
| 00:54:47 |
Oh, God AImighty! |
| 00:54:53 |
I've forgotten everything! |
| 00:54:54 |
You must change your cIothes, |
| 00:54:59 |
Oh, the demons' garb! |
| 00:55:04 |
My mind is aII confused. |
| 00:55:10 |
Stop being so fidgety! WeII, it is |
| 00:55:15 |
You had better go |
| 00:55:17 |
Yes, ma'am. |
| 00:55:20 |
HeIIo? Vava? |
| 00:55:25 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:55:31 |
He Iooks so much Iike our Bunsha! |
| 00:55:36 |
- Pah! |
| 00:55:38 |
- Dear Tsar, we must go. |
| 00:55:42 |
We have a pIane to catch. |
| 00:55:46 |
Godspeed! |
| 00:55:48 |
May we thank you for everything? |
| 00:55:51 |
You're a very spirited man! |
| 00:56:16 |
HeIIo? Shurochka? |
| 00:56:17 |
Can you imagine? Yakin |
| 00:56:20 |
He proposed, and we're Ieaving |
| 00:56:27 |
Go! |
| 00:56:35 |
Oh, how beautifuI it is! |
| 00:56:50 |
Beauteous! |
| 00:56:54 |
Cigarette break! |
| 00:57:00 |
- The Swedish Ambassador! |
| 00:57:06 |
The Swedish ambassador |
| 00:57:42 |
Bring the ambassador in. |
| 00:57:47 |
Knit your brows! Knit your brows! |
| 00:58:26 |
Der grosse Konig, |
| 00:58:28 |
Des Schwedischen Konigreichs sende |
| 00:58:34 |
seinen treuen Diener, |
| 00:58:37 |
zu Ihnen, Czar and Grande Duc |
| 00:58:43 |
Ivan VassiIyevich... |
| 00:58:47 |
usarussa. |
| 00:58:49 |
- This foreign tourist speaks weII! |
| 00:58:53 |
I'II be damned if I know. |
| 00:58:57 |
- We need an interpreter. |
| 00:59:00 |
He got drunk as a Iord |
| 00:59:03 |
- So We cooked him in boiIed water. |
| 00:59:07 |
Schwedete armie erobern hut. |
| 00:59:10 |
Answer something. |
| 00:59:13 |
HitIer kaput! |
| 00:59:16 |
Go on, Mister Ambassador. |
| 00:59:20 |
- Kemska district. |
| 00:59:26 |
AbsoIuteIy. |
| 00:59:30 |
Look, comrade. |
| 00:59:34 |
I wouId Iike to know |
| 00:59:39 |
It's very simpIe. |
| 00:59:42 |
They want Kemsk Region. They went to |
| 00:59:46 |
What? Kemsk Region? |
| 00:59:48 |
Ja, Kemska rejion. Ja, ja... |
| 00:59:53 |
Take it if you want it! Oh, God! |
| 00:59:56 |
- But you can't do it, benefactor. |
| 01:00:00 |
Our state won't be any poorer for it. |
| 01:00:04 |
Have mercy, our great tsar, |
| 01:00:11 |
What are you doing, son of a bitch? |
| 01:00:16 |
We shaII never have enough regions |
| 01:00:18 |
So whadda I say my king? |
| 01:00:23 |
Say your king |
| 01:00:26 |
Whadda about Kemsk region? |
| 01:00:28 |
Such questions, my dear ambassador, |
| 01:00:32 |
We have to consuIt with comrades. |
| 01:00:36 |
Yes, by the way, here's a IittIe |
| 01:00:43 |
Here! |
| 01:00:53 |
WeII, auf Wiedersehen! |
| 01:01:04 |
Everyone can go! |
| 01:01:10 |
The guards can go, too. |
| 01:01:13 |
The guards can go. |
| 01:01:25 |
Why are you crawIing, oId chap? |
| 01:01:28 |
The ambassador has Iost his chest |
| 01:01:32 |
He shouIdn't be so absent-minded. One |
| 01:01:38 |
Why are you staring at me? |
| 01:01:41 |
- do You think I took it? |
| 01:01:45 |
You didn't take it, did you? |
| 01:01:48 |
Maybe it has sIid under the throne? |
| 01:01:52 |
No. |
| 01:01:54 |
WeII, then nothing can be done. |
| 01:01:56 |
What a misfortune! |
| 01:02:05 |
I am again tormented by some |
| 01:02:08 |
Shpak's tape recorder, |
| 01:02:12 |
What are you driving at? |
| 01:02:14 |
I'm asking you, you tsar's mug, |
| 01:02:18 |
The Tartar Prince Yedigey is here |
| 01:02:22 |
No. |
| 01:02:27 |
CaIIing hours are over. |
| 01:02:31 |
The tsar wishes to refect. |
| 01:02:49 |
- I must be dreaming! |
| 01:02:52 |
- Who's going to pay for this banquet? |
| 01:02:57 |
Fedya, what is in there? |
| 01:03:00 |
Hare's kidneys, |
| 01:03:02 |
pike heads with garIic. |
| 01:03:06 |
Red caviar. |
| 01:03:08 |
And from overseas... |
| 01:03:13 |
EggpIant caviar! |
| 01:03:16 |
BeautifuI! |
| 01:03:18 |
- WeII, tsar, Iet's drink. |
| 01:03:49 |
Beauteous! |
| 01:03:50 |
I Iook for him aII over the house, and |
| 01:03:54 |
Why don't you Iook me in the eye? |
| 01:03:56 |
Ivan VassiIyevich, |
| 01:03:59 |
Everything I've got by working |
| 01:04:03 |
Oh, Iook at you! |
| 01:04:07 |
You don't Iook Iike yourseIf! |
| 01:04:10 |
- Imported tape recorder, suede jacket... |
| 01:04:15 |
There's nothing Ieft! |
| 01:04:17 |
He can't stand on his feet! |
| 01:04:21 |
Oh, God! What's going on? |
| 01:04:25 |
Leave me aIone, oId woman, |
| 01:04:28 |
OId woman? You jerk! |
| 01:04:31 |
I'm five years younger than you! |
| 01:04:34 |
Let's go home, now! |
| 01:04:36 |
You are a witch! |
| 01:04:39 |
HeIp! |
| 01:04:41 |
Ivan VassiIyevich, caIm down. |
| 01:04:48 |
- Witch! |
| 01:04:52 |
- And What do You want? |
| 01:04:55 |
that's the Iist of stoIen things. |
| 01:04:58 |
Two tape recorders, two movie cameras, |
| 01:05:03 |
Is it the way to hand in a petition |
| 01:05:07 |
What do you mean? Stop your |
| 01:05:11 |
You and your drunken tricks! I'II fiIe |
| 01:05:17 |
I see you never stop, Iackey! |
| 01:05:21 |
HeIIo? Is that a psychiatric ward? |
| 01:05:25 |
My husband has got a deIirium tremens. |
| 01:05:30 |
- Stop! Take the knife away! |
| 01:05:35 |
Just Iook at our activist! |
| 01:05:39 |
- LowIy trash! |
| 01:05:42 |
Lackey! |
| 01:05:43 |
The poIice wiII decide who's a Iackey |
| 01:05:46 |
Is it the poIice? |
| 01:05:48 |
- Wait! He's not Bunsha! |
| 01:05:52 |
He's Ivan the TerribIe. The reaI one. |
| 01:06:07 |
I'm busy. CaII me Iater. |
| 01:06:10 |
- Oh, my God! What's going on? |
| 01:06:14 |
I beg you to promise that you won't |
| 01:06:17 |
Of course! You have my word. |
| 01:06:20 |
- Thank You. |
| 01:06:28 |
HeIIo? The poIice? |
| 01:06:31 |
That's Shpak speaking, who's been |
| 01:06:34 |
No, it's not about the robbery. |
| 01:06:38 |
Engineer Timofeyev has a Iive |
| 01:06:43 |
No, I don't drink. |
| 01:06:48 |
I'm giving you my word of honor! |
| 01:06:51 |
I'II be waiting. |
| 01:06:59 |
I can imagine how they fight now |
| 01:07:03 |
Fedya, what are you doing there, by |
| 01:07:08 |
Here! |
| 01:07:13 |
Listen, oId chap, do they accept |
| 01:07:20 |
- We can arrange it. |
| 01:07:22 |
The tsarina is here, Sire. |
| 01:07:30 |
Fedya, go back to the kidneys! It was a |
| 01:07:35 |
What? Whoa! Whoa! |
| 01:07:45 |
Dear tsarina! I'm so gIad! |
| 01:07:50 |
HeIIo, I'm the tsar. Nice to meet you. |
| 01:07:55 |
Very pIeased, I'm the tsar. Nice to |
| 01:08:01 |
PIease, come to our tabIe. |
| 01:08:06 |
This way, pIease. |
| 01:08:10 |
Haven't we met before? |
| 01:08:12 |
- What are you saying, shit? |
| 01:08:15 |
Hey! Waiter! |
| 01:08:19 |
Excuse me for a minute. |
| 01:08:22 |
- Sorry, your name, pIease? |
| 01:08:27 |
WonderfuI! Enchanting! |
| 01:08:31 |
Marfa VassiIyevna, how enchanting! |
| 01:08:34 |
- Oh, no! |
| 01:08:38 |
Your heaIth! |
| 01:08:43 |
WeII, everyone keeps saying: tsar, |
| 01:08:47 |
You think, Marfa VassiIyevna, |
| 01:08:50 |
No, on the contrary! |
| 01:08:53 |
Every working man has two days off, |
| 01:08:57 |
And our working hours are not fixed. |
| 01:09:00 |
PIease, eat, Margarita VassiIyevna. |
| 01:09:05 |
You know, a tsar's job is so unheaIthy |
| 01:09:11 |
They wrote it in the HeaIth Magazine |
| 01:09:14 |
that the nervous ceIIs are never |
| 01:09:17 |
You work and work, our great tsar, |
| 01:09:22 |
Margo, you aIone understand me! |
| 01:09:29 |
- One more gIass to Go with a pike head? |
| 01:09:35 |
TeII me, pIease, do you have |
| 01:09:39 |
- I see you're dead drunk! |
| 01:09:42 |
Why don't you pIay, maestro? |
| 01:09:49 |
That's not a big bIack cIoud coming... |
| 01:09:57 |
A cIoud! |
| 01:10:00 |
That's not a thunderstorm striking... |
| 01:10:09 |
A thunderstorm! |
| 01:10:11 |
That's the tsar of Crimea, a viIe dog... |
| 01:10:21 |
A dog! |
| 01:10:28 |
What do you mean, a dog? |
| 01:10:31 |
How dare you sing such songs |
| 01:10:35 |
You got out of hand here, without me. |
| 01:10:39 |
You ought to sing songs for the masses, |
| 01:10:43 |
Like... how does it go? |
| 01:10:46 |
We're not the tiIi-tiIi, |
| 01:10:50 |
CooI it, Vanya. We'II do everything. |
| 01:10:54 |
Excuse me, what's your name again? |
| 01:10:56 |
- I'm Marfa VassiIyevna! |
| 01:11:00 |
Oh, Marfusha! The night is stiII young! |
| 01:11:03 |
Give us a Iine, |
| 01:11:06 |
Wait! Quiet! |
| 01:11:08 |
AII of a sudden, |
| 01:11:13 |
Out of the bIue, |
| 01:11:15 |
Love knocked down |
| 01:11:19 |
Upon my door. |
| 01:11:21 |
Is that it? Is that you? |
| 01:11:28 |
Snow was faIIing, dawn after dawn, |
| 01:11:31 |
Days were rainy and mean. |
| 01:11:35 |
So many years, why were you gone? |
| 01:11:38 |
Where have you ever been? |
| 01:11:45 |
Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked, |
| 01:11:50 |
And suddenIy, aII made sense. |
| 01:11:53 |
Fate pIayed tricks. Fate intrigued. |
| 01:11:56 |
And here's our meeting, hence. |
| 01:11:59 |
I froze at sea, traveIed by train. |
| 01:12:02 |
I know it was not in vain. |
| 01:12:04 |
No, it was not in vain, |
| 01:12:10 |
AII has happened, aII came true. |
| 01:12:16 |
How couId I Iive aII this through? |
| 01:12:22 |
If you wait and take it in, |
| 01:12:28 |
Then you can get it, what you dreamed |
| 01:12:31 |
And go hope for more. |
| 01:12:34 |
Everybody dance! |
| 01:12:37 |
Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked, |
| 01:12:41 |
And, suddenIy, aII made sense. |
| 01:12:45 |
Fate pIayed tricks. Fate intrigued. |
| 01:12:48 |
And here's our meeting, hence. |
| 01:12:50 |
I froze at sea, traveIed by train. |
| 01:12:53 |
I know it was not in vain. |
| 01:12:55 |
No, it was not in vain, |
| 01:14:14 |
A mutiny in the army! |
| 01:14:29 |
My dear autocrat, we're done in! |
| 01:14:33 |
I demand that the banquet go on! |
| 01:14:38 |
Why are we done in? Why? |
| 01:15:15 |
This way! |
| 01:15:20 |
Come on, Prince, hurry up! |
| 01:15:24 |
Everything wiII be ready in 3 minutes. |
| 01:15:48 |
Wait a bit, Ivan VassiIyevich. You'd |
| 01:15:52 |
Damn! |
| 01:16:14 |
Do you smoke? |
| 01:16:18 |
You don't? Good. |
| 01:16:21 |
So teII me, who are you? |
| 01:16:24 |
- I am the tsar. |
| 01:16:27 |
- Wait. your name? |
| 01:16:31 |
- First, second name? |
| 01:16:35 |
Ivan... |
| 01:16:37 |
- Date of birth? |
| 01:16:44 |
- Joking? |
| 01:16:48 |
- Wait. Residence? |
| 01:16:53 |
What paIace? |
| 01:16:57 |
- What am I accused of, Boyar? |
| 01:17:01 |
- Was it you who busted Shpak's pIace? |
| 01:17:05 |
I took Kazan, I took Astrakhan, |
| 01:17:08 |
I took ReveI, |
| 01:17:12 |
There he is! You're bagged! |
| 01:17:15 |
-What's up, foIks? Who are you? |
| 01:17:18 |
You're Iying! |
| 01:17:22 |
See? He got drunk out of his wits! |
| 01:17:26 |
I had to caII the psychiatric ward. |
| 01:17:30 |
Oh, that's what it's aII about! |
| 01:17:34 |
He took Kazan. He took Astrakhan. |
| 01:17:38 |
It's deIirium tremens. |
| 01:17:40 |
What's the patient's reaI name? |
| 01:17:44 |
- Bunsha, Ivan VassiIyevich. |
| 01:17:48 |
I hate him! |
| 01:17:51 |
Attention! |
| 01:17:53 |
Get ready! |
| 01:18:04 |
Take the impostors aIive! |
| 01:18:16 |
BIack caviar! |
| 01:18:20 |
Red caviar! |
| 01:18:24 |
And from overseas, eggpIant caviar! |
| 01:19:16 |
Comrade Timofeyev! AIexander |
| 01:19:21 |
Ivan VassiIyevich, hurry up! |
| 01:19:37 |
- are You aII right? |
| 01:19:41 |
The poIice wiII beIieve it! You wiII |
| 01:19:48 |
Sire! |
| 01:20:00 |
Why do you have poIice at your door, |
| 01:20:05 |
There was a burgIary at your friend |
| 01:20:08 |
ReaIIy? |
| 01:20:14 |
- We detained One more. |
| 01:20:19 |
Not detained. I was on my way |
| 01:20:24 |
I'm deIighted to hand myseIf in to my |
| 01:20:28 |
- Who are you? |
| 01:20:34 |
So you insist that you're Ivan |
| 01:20:37 |
Your ID, pIease. |
| 01:20:40 |
- I forgot it at home. |
| 01:20:45 |
WeII, anybody! You may ask my wife, |
| 01:20:50 |
WeII, weII, weII. |
| 01:20:53 |
What did you want to make |
| 01:20:56 |
I confess that against my wiII, under |
| 01:21:01 |
I acted temporariIy as a tsar. |
| 01:21:03 |
A tsar? |
| 01:21:06 |
Yes, a tsar. |
| 01:21:09 |
You're Iying, dog! |
| 01:21:14 |
HooIigan! |
| 01:21:17 |
Everything I've got by working |
| 01:21:21 |
Three tape recorders, |
| 01:21:25 |
three home-made cigarette cases, |
| 01:21:32 |
And they want to be awarded the titIe |
| 01:21:39 |
UIyana Andreyevna, teII us again |
| 01:21:45 |
I've aIready toId you! |
| 01:21:47 |
My husband, Ivan VassiIyevich Bunsha. |
| 01:21:50 |
- They'II cure you, aIcohoIic. |
| 01:21:58 |
- Impostor! |
| 01:22:02 |
- So, who is he? |
| 01:22:06 |
They wiII cure you, too. |
| 01:22:13 |
- It turns out you've got 2 husbands? |
| 01:22:19 |
And they're both Bunshas? |
| 01:22:24 |
Yes, both of them. |
| 01:22:29 |
You'II be cured. |
| 01:22:32 |
And you'II be cured. |
| 01:22:37 |
And I'II be cured, too. |
| 01:22:41 |
What you toId me is grandiose! |
| 01:22:45 |
If I were you, |
| 01:22:49 |
I ain't in no hurry. |
| 01:23:02 |
Is that it? Is that you? |
| 01:23:08 |
UIyana Andreyevna, |
| 01:23:10 |
The tsarina tried to seduce me, |
| 01:23:21 |
- MiIosIavsky was aImost in our hands! |
| 01:23:25 |
- Yes! Arrest him! |
| 01:23:29 |
Wait! |
| 01:23:31 |
HoId on! Get him! |
| 01:24:07 |
I was absoIuteIy sure |
| 01:24:11 |
Hurry up, Prince. |
| 01:24:15 |
- Where have You been aII this time? |
| 01:24:25 |
They're after me, Prince! |
| 01:24:30 |
Run, Ivan VassiIyevich! |
| 01:24:36 |
- Hurry, Ivan VassiIyevich! |
| 01:24:39 |
Oh, God, forgive me my sins! |
| 01:24:42 |
EviI spirit! |
| 01:24:45 |
- FareweII, Prince! |
| 01:25:18 |
- It's outrageous! |
| 01:25:20 |
- He's taunting us! |
| 01:25:24 |
Oh, you're aIready out of the asyIum? |
| 01:25:27 |
- Stop your hooIiganism! |
| 01:25:30 |
That's scandaIous! |
| 01:25:32 |
He's wearing gIasses just for nothing! |
| 01:25:40 |
We send them to coIIege, |
| 01:25:46 |
What was it? |
| 01:25:49 |
Was itjust a dream, or was it reaI? |
| 01:25:54 |
Ivan the TerribIe... MiIosIavsky... |
| 01:26:00 |
Oh, I forgot. Zina has Ieft me. |
| 01:26:07 |
No, it's aII nonsense! |
| 01:26:10 |
I was just knocked out! |
| 01:26:14 |
And what if it's not nonsense? |
| 01:26:17 |
My goodness! |
| 01:26:20 |
You smoked again! |
| 01:26:23 |
And, of course, you didn't eat |
| 01:26:34 |
- You haven't Ieft for Gagry? |
| 01:26:38 |
You're going crazy |
| 01:26:47 |
Oh, how did you get yourseIf |
| 01:26:52 |
Zina, teII me the truth. |
| 01:26:57 |
- Where have You been? |
| 01:27:00 |
AII right... |
| 01:27:01 |
Give me a straight answer. |
| 01:27:07 |
- What Yakin? What is it with You? |
| 01:27:14 |
We have no director by that name. |
| 01:27:19 |
- is it true? |
| 01:27:22 |
Hurray! |
| 01:27:46 |
Ciao! |
| 01:27:48 |
Thank you for your attention! |
| 01:27:51 |
The End |
