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Juno en
00:00:47	It started with a chair...
00:01:14	I've wanted this
00:01:18	I know.
00:01:21	Wizard.
00:01:29	Jeez Banana,
00:01:35	This is the most magnificent discarded
00:04:10	Well, well, if it isn't
00:04:13	Back for another test?
00:04:16	I think the first one was defective,
00:04:18	The plus sign looks more like a
00:04:23	Third test today, Momma Bear, your
00:04:28	It's really easy to tell,
00:04:31	Yeah, maybe your little boyfriend's
00:04:35	Silencio, old man. Look, I just drank my
00:04:41	Well, you know where the lavatory is.
00:04:45	Pay for that pee stick when you're done.
00:04:47	Don't think it's yours just 'cause
00:05:20	What's the prognosis,
00:05:23	I don't know, it's not seasoned yet.
00:05:26	I'll take some of these.
00:05:32	There it is.
00:05:35	The little pink plus sign is so unholy.
00:05:39	That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch, this is one
00:07:07	Yo-yo-yiggity-yo.
00:07:09	I'm a suicide risk.
00:07:10	Juno?
00:07:11	No, it's Morgan Freeman, do you
00:07:14	Only the one in my pants.
00:07:19	I'm pregnant.
00:07:20	What? Honest to blog?
00:07:22	Yeah, it's Bleeker's.
00:07:24	It's probably just a food
00:07:28	This is not a food baby, I've taken three
00:07:35	How did you even generate enough pee for
00:07:40	I don't know, I drank
00:07:43	I'm telling you I'm pregnant and
00:07:48	Is this for real?
00:07:51	Unfortunately yes.
00:07:54	Oh, my God!
00:07:56	Oh shit! Phuket Thailand!
00:07:59	That was kind of the emotion that I
00:08:03	Are you going to
00:08:05	You need a note from your
00:08:08	Yeah, I know. No, I'm going to go to Women
00:08:13	Do you want me to call for you?
00:08:16	No, I can call myself.
00:08:17	Oh, but I do need your help with
00:08:22	You know, heavy lifting can
00:08:25	Seriously.
00:08:27	So, you were bored? That's how
00:08:30	No, the act was premeditated. I mean, the
00:08:35	So, when did you decide that
00:08:41	I don't know.
00:08:45	A year ago in Spanish class.
00:08:49	You love him.
00:08:52	It's actually really complicated, OK?
00:08:56	And I don't feel like talking
00:09:01	So what was it like?
00:09:03	Humping Bleek's bony bod?
00:09:06	Magnificent.
00:09:45	Hey, Bleek.
00:09:48	Wicked tiger.
00:09:50	It looks proud.
00:09:52	I swiped it from Ms. Rancick's lawn.
00:09:56	Wow, your shorts are like
00:09:59	My mom uses color-safe bleach.
00:10:01	Go Carole.
00:10:04	I'll tell her.
00:10:09	When I see them all running like that, with
00:10:13	I always picture them naked, even if I
00:10:19	I'm supposed to be running.
00:10:22	So guess what.
00:10:24	What? I don't know.
00:10:27	I'm pregnant.
00:10:40	What should we do?
00:10:44	Oh, you know, I was thinking I'd just
00:10:50	Because they were talking
00:10:54	how pregnancy can
00:10:57	Typically, yeah, yeah.
00:10:58	That's what happens when our
00:11:05	So, you're cool with that then?
00:11:07	Yeah, yeah, wizard. You know,
00:11:11	do whatever you think
00:11:18	Well, I'm sorry I had sex with you,
00:11:21	I know it wasn't your idea.
00:11:24	Whose idea was it?
00:11:26	I'll see you at school, alright?
00:11:32	Whose idea was it?
00:12:00	Hey, your book fell apart.
00:12:02	Right.
00:12:04	It must have looked at your face.
00:12:08	The funny thing is that Steve
00:12:11	Jocks like him always want freaky girls.
00:12:14	Girls with horn-rimmed glasses
00:12:19	Girls who play the cello
00:12:22	want to be children's
00:12:25	Oh yeah, jocks totally eat that shit up.
00:12:28	They just won't admit
00:12:30	supposed to be into perfect
00:12:32	Like Leah, who incidentally
00:12:36	Me too, I love Woody Allen!
00:12:43	Alright people.
00:12:44	We're doing chromatography
00:12:46	your partners and break
00:12:54	Well, there's nothing
00:12:58	I did the prep questions
00:13:00	so you can just copy
00:13:02	I couldn't copy your work.
00:13:04	You copy my work every week.
00:13:06	True, I'm kind of a deadbeat
00:13:08	No, no, I don't mind. I think you
00:13:10	Charisma.
00:13:13	Who's ready for some chromamagnificence?
00:13:16	I have a menstrual migraine, so I can't
00:13:20	Amanda, I told you to go to the
00:13:23	No, Josh, because I don't take orders.
00:13:28	You know, you've been
00:13:29	I got back from visiting
00:13:31	I already told you, nothing happened.
00:13:33	Well, I'm gonna set up the apparatus.
00:13:36	Juno, do you want to
00:13:38	It's my pleasure.
00:13:39	I'm going to the infirmary.
00:13:40	Good. Call me when you get off the rag.
00:13:41	Fine, call me when you
00:13:43	instead of cheating at
00:13:45	Just because you've had
00:13:47	a bottle of Snow Peak
00:13:49	Good, Amanda, I'll be sure to
00:13:54	I've actually heard that the Snow Peak
00:14:00	Isn't that right, Bleek?
00:14:17	Oprimo numero dos.
00:14:24	Yeah, I'm just calling to
00:14:29	What?
00:14:32	Can you just hold on for a
00:14:39	Okay, now I can,
00:14:41	Yeah, it's really awkward to talk on.
00:14:45	Yeah, I need an abortion.
00:14:49	Sixteen.
00:14:51	I'm gonna say it's been about two
00:14:57	Mind you, that's just
00:15:02	Sorry, how long have I been what?
00:15:04	Oh, I hate it when adults use
00:15:08	What does it even mean?
00:15:09	Can I deactivate someday, or is
00:15:13	I guess Bleeker went
00:15:15	I guess that's why he
00:15:18	You should have seen this
00:15:21	I had to get out my Hazmat
00:15:25	My dad used to be in the Army, but now
00:15:29	He and my mom got
00:15:31	She lives on a Havasu
00:15:33	with her new husband and
00:15:35	Oh, and she inexplicably mails
00:15:39	And I'm like, Thanks
00:15:41	This cactus-gram stings even
00:15:45	That's my stepmom, Bren, she's
00:15:49	Owns a nail salon and always
00:15:53	So Juno, how was your
00:15:57	Which maneuver, sir? The one where I moved an
00:16:01	or the one where I downed a sixty-four
00:16:05	Juno, did you by any
00:16:11	Mac, you know that nice urn by the front
00:16:14	There was some blue shit,
00:16:16	I mean, gunk, stuff
00:16:21	I would never barf in your urn, Brenda.
00:16:25	I mean, maybe L.B. did it.
00:16:29	Liberty Bell, if you put one more Baco on that
00:16:36	All babies want to get borned!
00:16:41	All babies want to get borned!
00:16:45	Hey Su-Chin.
00:16:47	Hi, Juno.
00:16:49	How are you?
00:16:50	You know, pretty solid.
00:16:54	So did you write that
00:16:57	No, not yet.
00:16:59	I tried to work on it a little last night,
00:17:03	I'll sell you some of my Adderall.
00:17:06	No thanks, I'm off pills.
00:17:07	That's a wise choice 'cause I knew
00:17:11	She took too many behavioral meds at
00:17:16	and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall
00:17:25	I heard that was you.
00:17:28	It was good seeing you, Su-Chin.
00:17:33	Your baby probably has a
00:17:36	It can feel pain,
00:17:39	And it has fingernails.
00:17:42	Fingernails? Really?
00:18:01	Welcome to Women Now, where
00:18:04	Please put your hands where I can
00:18:08	Hey, I'm here for the big show.
00:18:11	Your name, please?
00:18:13	Juno MacGuff.
00:18:15	She thinks I'm using a fake name.
00:18:22	I need you to fill
00:18:24	We need to know about
00:18:30	Would you like a free condom?
00:18:32	They're boysenberry.
00:18:34	No, I'm off sex.
00:18:37	My boyfriend uses them every
00:18:41	They make his jocks smell like pie.
00:19:17	All babies want to get borned!
00:19:23	God appreciates your miracle!
00:19:26	Dude, what are you doing here?
00:19:28	I'm supposed to come get you at four.
00:19:30	I couldn't do it, Leah!
00:19:32	It smelled like a
00:19:34	And there were these horrible
00:19:36	And then the friggin'
00:19:38	give me these condoms that
00:19:41	and just babbling away about her
00:19:45	Yum!
00:19:46	And Su-Chin was there, and she was
00:19:48	like, "Oh hi! Babies have fingernails. "
00:19:51	Fingernails!
00:19:52	That's gruesome.
00:19:53	You think the baby can scratch
00:19:57	I'm staying pregnant, Leah.
00:19:59	Dude! You gotta keep your
00:20:02	She doesn't know that
00:20:05	What does that even mean?
00:20:07	I've been thinking.
00:20:09	I was thinking that I could have this baby
00:20:13	You know, like a woman with a bum
00:20:16	But then you're gonna get huge
00:20:20	- And you have to tell people that you're pregnant.
00:20:25	Maybe they'll totally shit and be really mad and
00:20:31	I was going to go to
00:20:36	You should look at adoption ads,
00:20:38	I see them all the
00:20:41	They have ads for parents?
00:20:43	Yeah! "Desperately Seeking Spawn. " Right next to
00:20:51	It's totally legit.
00:20:55	"Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple
00:21:01	"All that's missing is your bastard. "
00:21:03	I want a parakeet.
00:21:05	You're totally not even listening to me.
00:21:06	No, I heard you. I don't want to give the baby to
00:21:12	- Why?
00:21:14	- Okay, what did you have in mind exactly?
00:21:19	mid-thirties, with a cool Asian girlfriend who
00:21:24	But I don't want to be too particular.
00:21:27	OK, how about this?
00:21:29	"Educated, successful couple seeking
00:21:34	"You will be compensated. Help
00:21:39	That sounds great.
00:21:40	They sound like a friggin' cult. Besides, they
00:21:45	Oh, Juno! How about this one?
00:21:51	They were Mark and Vanessa Loring,
00:21:54	And they were beautiful
00:22:07	Paul? Are you coming downstairs to eat?
00:22:09	No, I don't think so.
00:22:10	You ran eight miles today, Puppy.
00:22:13	I'm not hungry, oddly.
00:22:15	But it's breakfast for supper.
00:22:18	Yeah.
00:22:20	Juno MacGuff called while
00:22:24	You know how I feel about her.
00:22:26	You've mentioned it a couple times.
00:22:30	She is just...
00:22:32	...different.
00:22:35	Yeah.
00:23:02	I'm not really sure how
00:23:05	Hon, did you get expelled?
00:23:06	No. The school would most likely
00:23:11	Well, I was just asking.
00:23:13	Do you need a large amount
00:23:16	No, I'm not asking for anything.
00:23:19	Except for maybe mercy. Like, it would
00:23:23	What have you done, Junebug?
00:23:25	No.
00:23:27	Dude, I think it's
00:23:37	I'm pregnant.
00:23:38	Oh, God.
00:23:40	But I'm going to give
00:23:42	I already found the perfect couple.
00:23:44	They're gonna pay for the
00:23:47	In thirty-odd weeks we can just
00:23:53	You're pregnant?
00:23:55	I'm sorry.
00:23:56	I'm sorry. And if it is any consolation,
00:24:00	I have heartburn that's
00:24:02	and I haven't take a
00:24:07	Morning!
00:24:08	I didn't even know you
00:24:11	Who is the kid?
00:24:12	The baby? I don't really know much
00:24:17	Nails? Really?
00:24:18	Yeah.
00:24:19	I mean, who is the father, Juno?
00:24:25	It's Paulie Bleeker.
00:24:28	Paulie Bleeker?
00:24:31	What?
00:24:32	I didn't think he had it in him!
00:24:34	I know, right?
00:24:36	Right, this is no laughing matter.
00:24:38	No, it's not.
00:24:40	And Paulie is actually great.
00:24:43	In chair.
00:24:46	You were thinking about adoption?
00:24:48	Yeah, there's this couple.
00:24:50	They've been trying to
00:24:54	We found them in the Penny
00:24:57	They have a legitimate lawyer and I was
00:25:02	Junebug, that is a
00:25:04	Probably tougher than you
00:25:08	I know...
00:25:11	...It's just that I'm
00:25:14	Damn skippy, you're not!
00:25:16	You don't even remember to give
00:25:19	That was once! And she
00:25:23	Honey, had you considered,
00:25:28	No.
00:25:29	Well, you're a little Viking!
00:25:33	First things first,
00:25:35	we have to get you healthy.
00:25:36	You need prenatal vitamins,
00:25:38	Incidentally, they do incredible
00:25:42	Oh, and we need to schedule
00:25:44	Figure out where
00:25:46	Juno, I'm coming with you
00:25:50	You're just a kid. I don't want you to get
00:25:54	Thanks, Dad.
00:25:56	I thought you were the kind of
00:26:05	I don't really know
00:26:21	Tell it to me straight, Bren.
00:26:24	I think kids get bored
00:26:26	And I think Junebug was
00:26:29	I am not ready to be a Pop-Pop.
00:26:31	You're not going to be a Pop-Pop.
00:26:33	Somebody else is going to find a precious blessing
00:26:39	Did you see that coming
00:26:42	Yeah. But I was hoping she was
00:26:45	That was my first instinct too.
00:26:51	And I'm going to punch that Bleeker kid
00:26:53	Mac, no. You know it wasn't his idea.
00:28:04	Hi! I'm Vanessa. You must
00:28:08	Vanessa.
00:28:10	It's Vanessa, right?
00:28:12	Thanks for having me and my
00:28:15	Oh no. Thank you.
00:28:18	Come on in.
00:28:19	Can I take your coat or your hat?
00:28:22	Oh, yeah, sure, thanks.
00:28:24	Wicked pic in the Penny Saver,
00:28:26	Not like those people with
00:28:29	Honestly, who do they
00:28:32	You found us in the Penny Saver?
00:28:33	Hi. Mark Loring. I'm the husband.
00:28:36	- How you doing? Mac McGuff.
00:28:39	Hi.
00:28:40	This is Gerta Rauss, our attorney.
00:28:42	Gerta Rauss.
00:28:45	Hi, pleased to meet you.
00:28:48	And this, of course, is Juno.
00:28:51	Like the city in Alaska.
00:28:52	No.
00:28:54	No?
00:28:55	Hon?
00:28:56	Shall we sit down and
00:28:58	I thought I'd get some drinks.
00:28:59	What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino
00:29:04	A Maker's Mark, please. Up.
00:29:08	She's kidding.
00:29:10	Junebug has a wonderful sense of humor,
00:29:13	I see.
00:29:17	So, Juno. First off,
00:29:21	I'm a junior.
00:29:23	No, I mean in your pregnancy.
00:29:27	Oh. Uh, actually my stepmom took me yesterday
00:29:32	Oh, that's marvelous.
00:29:33	So you're into your second trimester?
00:29:37	Yeah, apparently.
00:29:40	I'm due on May 4.
00:29:42	Great.
00:29:43	My girlfriends tell me the first
00:29:45	I didn't notice it at all.
00:29:47	I'm more concerned about when they have to
00:29:54	I think pregnancy is beautiful.
00:29:57	Well, you're lucky it's not you.
00:30:02	So, let's talk how we're
00:30:05	Well, don't I just have the thing?
00:30:07	Squeeze it on out and hand it over?
00:30:10	Mark and Vanessa are willing
00:30:14	What does that mean?
00:30:15	It means they'd send
00:30:18	let Juno know how the baby is
00:30:21	Whoah. I don't want photos
00:30:27	Can't we just kick this old school?
00:30:29	I stick the baby in a
00:30:32	Like Moses in the reeds.
00:30:35	Technically, that would be
00:30:38	Exactly! Right?
00:30:40	Do you know what I mean?
00:30:41	Like in the good old days.
00:30:45	Well, then we all agree a traditional closed
00:30:51	Shit, yes, just close her on up.
00:30:54	Obviously, we would compensate
00:30:57	Are you looking for any
00:31:02	Excuse me?
00:31:06	No.
00:31:08	No, I don't want to
00:31:11	...I want...
00:31:14	...I just want the baby to be
00:31:19	And be good parents, you know?
00:31:22	I'm in high school.
00:31:26	I'm ill-equipped.
00:31:30	You're doing a beautiful
00:31:33	Vanessa has wanted a baby
00:31:36	I want to be a mommy so badly!
00:31:39	You don't say.
00:31:40	Have you ever felt like you
00:31:43	Yes.
00:31:44	Heating and air conditioning.
00:31:46	There you go.
00:31:48	I was born to be a mother.
00:31:50	Some of us are.
00:31:51	How about you, Mark, are you
00:31:56	Betcha, yeah.
00:31:59	Every guy wants to be a father.
00:32:02	help out with the science
00:32:07	Yeah, all that.
00:32:10	Maybe Gerta could take us through the
00:32:14	Could I use the facilities first? Being
00:32:21	The downstairs bathroom is being re-tiled,
00:32:27	Oh yeah! Room with the toilet.
00:32:30	Is she alright?
00:33:18	Sorry.
00:33:20	Sorry, I didn't expect
00:33:21	I just came up to get something.
00:33:23	Did your wife send you
00:33:25	No.
00:33:27	Do we come off as paranoid
00:33:32	I stole a squirt of your wife's perfume.
00:33:34	Really?
00:33:36	It's Clinique Happy.
00:33:37	Get a whiff of those sparkling topnotes!
00:33:40	Is that supposed to make me feel happy?
00:33:43	You should feel happy, Holmes.
00:33:45	I'm giving you and Vanessa the gift of life.
00:33:49	And you don't even have to be there
00:33:52	Viscera?
00:33:53	Blood and guts.
00:33:58	Is that a Les Paul?
00:34:01	Yes, it is.
00:34:02	Vanessa gave me my own
00:34:05	She gave you your own room in
00:34:11	She's got you on a
00:34:14	Oh, it's beautiful.
00:34:16	You know? I always loved
00:34:19	What do you play?
00:34:21	I rock a Harmony.
00:34:27	So is it mahagony?
00:34:28	What happens if you crack the neck?
00:34:31	Tell me about it. I used
00:34:33	band when I lived in Chicago
00:34:35	for the Melvins and I
00:34:36	stage and it cost me
00:34:40	When was that?
00:34:42	93. Best time for rock and roll.
00:34:45	Nuh-uh, '77! Punk Volume #1.
00:34:50	You're crazy.
00:34:51	You weren't there,
00:34:53	You couldn't understand the magic.
00:34:54	You weren't even alive!
00:34:58	What's that?
00:35:02	It's a Pilates machine.
00:35:06	What do you make with it?
00:35:08	You don't make anything.
00:35:13	My wife ordered one of those
00:35:15	Tony Little Gazelles off the TV.
00:35:17	You know, from the
00:35:20	That guy just doesn't look right to me.
00:35:30	I'll be right back.
00:35:34	Excuse me.
00:35:44	Hi.
00:35:46	Hi.
00:35:47	You're playing music?
00:35:48	Juno wanted a little
00:35:51	Your guitar is named Kimber?
00:35:53	Yeah.
00:35:54	That's cool. My axe is named Roosevelt.
00:35:56	After Franklin, not Ted. He
00:36:01	Gerta is downstairs, we still have
00:36:04	a lot of stuff to go over.
00:36:07	I got it.
00:36:09	Not to interrupt the jam session.
00:36:15	So, just look these over and if you
00:36:18	We would really appreciate it if you would just
00:36:24	Ultrasounds, anything of that nature.
00:36:26	For sure. You want to know how
00:36:31	You think you're really
00:36:34	Yeah. I like you guys.
00:36:39	How sure would you say you are?
00:36:43	Would you say you're 80% sure, 90% sure?
00:36:48	I'm going to say I'm about 104% sure.
00:36:51	Really?
00:36:53	Seriously, if I could just have the thing
00:36:57	But I'm guessing it looks probably
00:37:01	And we should let it get
00:37:05	- Yeah.
00:37:06	Keep it in the oven.
00:37:07	I think that's a great idea.
00:37:09	Nice to meet you both.
00:37:10	Please, drive carefully.
00:37:15	- Take care.
00:37:51	Hey, man.
00:37:52	Hey, Vijay.
00:37:54	Did you hear Juno MacGuff is pregnant?
00:37:56	Yeah.
00:37:58	- Like our moms and teachers!
00:38:00	Did you hear it's yours?
00:38:03	Yup.
00:38:04	What a trip, man.
00:38:06	I don't really know too much about it.
00:38:09	You should grow a moustache.
00:38:11	I can't.
00:38:12	Me neither.
00:38:13	But I'm going to stop
00:38:15	Raise my sperm count.
00:38:44	Juno, hey.
00:38:45	Hey, Bleek.
00:38:46	Me and some guys are gonna go to the movies
00:38:49	with the guy who has eighteen kids.
00:38:52	Do you want to come?
00:38:54	Sounds awesome, but I got my ultrasound.
00:38:57	Oh, really?
00:38:59	Can I...
00:39:02	...Should I come?
00:39:06	Oh, you can't waste those donut balls,
00:39:07	But maybe I could drop by later.
00:39:12	Okay, cool.
00:39:14	- Later, Bleek.
00:39:18	I'll save you a seat.
00:39:30	There's your baby.
00:39:32	Oh, my God.
00:39:36	There's a hand.
00:39:39	And an arm.
00:39:44	And there's the feet.
00:39:49	Would you look at that?
00:39:52	Check out Baby Big-Head. Dude,
00:39:56	Excuse me, I am a sacred vessel.
00:39:59	All you've got in your
00:40:02	It's amazing that there's
00:40:06	What? I'm not made of stone.
00:40:09	Well, there you have it.
00:40:11	Would you like to know the sex?
00:40:13	- Yes.
00:40:14	- Please, Junebug?
00:40:17	Planning to be surprised
00:40:18	I want Mark and Vanessa to be surprised, and
00:40:23	Are Mark and Vanessa
00:40:25	No, they're the adoptive parents.
00:40:28	Oh. Well, thank goodness for that.
00:40:31	What's that supposed to mean?
00:40:33	I just see a lot of teenage
00:40:36	It's obviously a poisonous
00:40:39	How do you know that I'm so poisonous?
00:40:41	What if these adoptive parents
00:40:44	Or like stage parents.
00:40:47	They could be utterly negligent.
00:40:49	of raising a kid than my
00:40:51	Have you considered that?
00:40:54	No, I guess not.
00:40:56	What is your job title, exactly?
00:40:58	I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.
00:41:02	Well I'm a nail technician, and I think
00:41:06	Excuse me?
00:41:07	You think you're so special because
00:41:12	My five year-old daughter could do that, and let me tell
00:41:14	So why don't you go back to night
00:41:23	Bren, you's a dick!
00:41:26	I love it.
00:42:31	Juno? Wow, I didn't
00:42:33	I have something really cool to
00:42:37	No, actually she's working late tonight.
00:42:40	She's trying to accrue as much
00:42:43	Oh right. I hear these
00:42:46	Wanna come in? I was just
00:42:48	Would you like one?
00:42:50	What is it with you rich people
00:42:54	It's probably got something to do with
00:42:57	They're not bad, though.
00:42:59	Why aren't you at work?
00:43:02	I work mostly from home. I'm a composer.
00:43:05	No shit.
00:43:07	Like Johannes Brahms?
00:43:08	No, more commercial stuff.
00:43:11	Like what?
00:43:12	Commercials.
00:43:15	Have you seen the ads for the
00:43:28	Paid for this kitchen.
00:43:32	You're quite the sellout, Mark.
00:43:35	What would the Melvins say?
00:43:38	Did you say you had
00:43:40	Behold, good sir! Your future child.
00:43:45	Hey, look at that.
00:43:50	I think it looks like my friend Paulie.
00:43:53	Is he also bald and amorphous?
00:43:55	No, he's the dad.
00:44:00	Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?
00:44:02	I can't, the doctor can. But I
00:44:07	Well, it can only go one of two ways.
00:44:10	That's what you think.
00:44:11	I drink tons of booze so you might end up with one
00:44:17	Junk, huh?
00:44:19	You know, it's parts.
00:44:20	I know what junk is.
00:44:21	Yeah, right.
00:44:22	We definitely want it to
00:44:24	Well, you don't need
00:44:26	My stepmom, Bren, makes
00:44:30	I can't stand in front of
00:44:33	I hope you're ready.
00:44:37	Ooh... do you hear that?
00:44:40	What?
00:44:41	This is my favorite song. It's Sonic
00:44:45	Oh, yeah, yeah, I know the Carpenters.
00:44:48	Chick drummer, freaky dude.
00:44:51	You haven't heard the Carpenters
00:45:02	Yeah, I like this.
00:45:06	What did you say your favorite band was?
00:45:08	Didn't. It's a three-way tie between the
00:45:13	I definitely need to make you some
00:45:21	The Wizard of Gore?
00:45:23	That is Herschel Gordon Lewis.
00:45:26	Please. Dario Argento is so
00:45:32	Argento?
00:45:33	He's alright, but Lewis
00:45:37	We're talking buckets of goo.
00:45:39	Red corn syrup all over the place.
00:45:44	Quite frankly, this
00:45:49	Give me the tape.
00:46:05	This is even better than Suspiria.
00:46:07	What'd I tell ya?
00:46:08	You have decent taste in slasher movies.
00:46:13	Here's to dovetailing interests.
00:46:18	Have you guys thought of
00:46:21	Sort of, yes. Vanessa
00:46:28	Madison?
00:46:32	Isn't that a little, gay?
00:46:38	Well, pretentious much? Should everyone
00:46:44	My dad went through this huge obsession
00:46:48	He decided to name me after Zeus's wife,
00:46:52	Zeus had tons of lays, but I'm
00:46:58	She was supposed to be really beautiful
00:47:03	That suits you.
00:47:06	Thanks?
00:47:11	You're something else.
00:47:18	Vanessa. You'd better go.
00:00:04	I'll handle this. I'm really
00:00:08	No, Juno, no.
00:00:11	Juno, what's going on?
00:00:13	- Nothing.
00:00:14	Nothing, I went to the doctor today.
00:00:16	Is there something wrong with the baby?
00:00:17	The baby is great.
00:00:18	It's the right size and everything.
00:00:21	Here.
00:00:24	It's the baby.
00:00:25	It's your baby.
00:00:30	It kinda looks like it's waving.
00:00:34	Like it's saying "Hey,
00:00:38	Yeah, it kind of does.
00:00:40	Juno was nice enough to
00:00:43	I came as soon as I got that
00:00:46	It was crazy actually,
00:00:48	My stepmom verbally abused the ultrasound
00:00:58	Wow, what kind of swag did you score?
00:01:01	Mall madness, huh?
00:01:02	It's just some stuff I
00:01:05	Don't you usually get all
00:01:07	When my stepmom was pregnant with my
00:01:12	But I wasn't jealous 'cause
00:01:15	I doubt anyone's gonna
00:01:17	Why wouldn't they
00:01:18	I don't think people know how to feel about
00:01:25	What isn't set...
00:01:29	You don't think I'm
00:01:32	No, I don't, Juno.
00:01:34	We went through a situation before
00:01:36	where it didn't work out.
00:01:37	Cold feet.
00:01:44	You should have gone to China.
00:01:47	I hear they give away
00:01:51	They put em in those T-shirt guns
00:01:53	and shoot them out at sporting events.
00:01:58	Your parents are probably
00:02:00	Naah. I'm already pregnant,
00:02:02	so what other kind of
00:02:06	I should probably bounce.
00:02:08	Hey, don't forget your bag.
00:02:10	Ah, bag!
00:02:16	Okay, take care.
00:02:40	Where the hell have you been, Junebug?
00:02:42	I just drove to St. Cloud to show
00:02:45	I ended up staying
00:02:47	A couple of hours? Why are you
00:02:51	They wanted to know about this stuff.
00:02:56	You could have mailed it to them.
00:02:57	Why would you drive an hour
00:03:02	I don't know, I just did.
00:03:05	And while Mark and I
00:03:07	we watched The Wizard of Gore,
00:03:09	And he burned me a couple
00:03:13	He's kind of cool.
00:03:17	Juno, you can't just
00:03:21	No, it was not a big deal.
00:03:25	You don't understand.
00:03:26	Mark is a married man,
00:03:29	Oh, come on.
00:03:31	Listen,
00:03:32	Bren-duhhh.
00:03:34	You're acting like you're the
00:03:37	and get huge and shove a baby
00:03:42	What does it even
00:03:43	I can have friends that are married.
00:03:45	It doesn't work that way, kiddo.
00:03:47	You don't know squat about
00:03:49	You don't know anything about me!
00:03:51	I know enough.
00:03:54	We don't even have a dog!
00:03:56	Yeah, because you're
00:04:00	I have sacrificed a lot for you, Juno.
00:04:04	I'm going to get Weimaraners.
00:04:06	Wow, dream big!
00:04:07	Oh, go fly a kite.
00:04:34	Hi, Juno.
00:04:35	What can I do for you?
00:04:38	Bleeker home?
00:04:40	Bleeker's mom was
00:04:42	But now she looks a hobbit.
00:04:46	You know, the fat one
00:04:55	Hey, man,
00:04:57	Don't concentrate so hard.
00:05:00	Hey, what's up?
00:05:01	Not much, I just wanted to come say hey.
00:05:04	I miss hanging out with
00:05:10	Orange Tic-Tacs are
00:05:14	The day I got pregnant, his mouth
00:05:27	You seem to be getting...
00:05:29	...pregnant-er these days.
00:05:34	Ya know, I set up this
00:05:37	...and this married couple in Saint
00:05:42	Really?
00:05:44	What are they like?
00:05:45	The guy, he's awesome.
00:05:49	His name is Mark and
00:05:51	he likes old horror movies
00:05:54	We actually hung out this afternoon.
00:05:56	Is that normal?
00:05:58	Probably not, but...
00:06:00	I talked to dad and Bren and they said
00:06:05	So,
00:06:07	I think we should be cool.
00:06:09	That's a relief.
00:06:16	I'm gonna start looking
00:06:18	like a pretty big dork soon.
00:06:21	Will you still think
00:06:25	I always think you're cute.
00:06:28	I think you're beautiful.
00:06:29	Jeez, Bleek.
00:06:32	I do.
00:06:36	Hey Junebug, when this is all over
00:06:40	Yeah.
00:06:43	That would be awesome.
00:06:44	Once Tino gets a new drumhead
00:06:46	we're just, like, ready to rock.
00:06:50	We could always get back together too.
00:06:53	That's an option.
00:06:58	Were we together?
00:07:01	Yeah, we were once.
00:07:04	That time.
00:07:12	What about Katrina De Voort?
00:07:14	You could totally go out
00:07:16	I don't like Katrina.
00:07:18	She smells like soup.
00:07:20	Her whole house smells of soup.
00:07:31	Okay.
00:07:33	So we have Custard, Cheesecake.
00:07:37	They're yellow.
00:07:40	I wanted to pick something
00:07:42	we get the baby and then we
00:07:47	Why does everyone think
00:07:50	I don't know any guy
00:07:54	I'm thinking more
00:07:58	I don't know. Maybe I should
00:08:05	Or you could wait a few more months.
00:08:07	It's not like the baby's going to storm
00:08:16	"What to Expect" says that readying the baby's
00:08:22	Especially if you're adopting.
00:08:26	Nesting?
00:08:29	Are you going to build the
00:08:34	You should read the book. I flagged
00:08:39	I think it's too early to paint.
00:08:40	That's my opinion.
00:08:43	I disagree.
00:08:48	This wall is going to need something.
00:08:53	Our first family photo
00:08:56	Right up there.
00:09:01	Can you see it?
00:09:06	Yum! This pretzel tastes
00:09:09	Share the love, sweetness!
00:09:10	You can't have any.
00:09:13	She's assaulting me!
00:09:15	She's denying me fresh-baked goodness!
00:09:17	Oh, my God.
00:09:20	That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.
00:09:23	Of the Penny Saver Lorings?
00:09:28	Dude, she's, like, really pretty.
00:09:30	You sound totally shocked or something.
00:09:34	She's totally gonna steal
00:09:36	Right, seriously.
00:09:47	Boring!
00:09:59	I could so go for a huge cookie right now with like,
00:10:04	God, Spermy. Must you always feed?
00:10:07	It's like, never-ending for you.
00:10:12	Juno!
00:10:13	Hi, Vanessa!
00:10:14	What brings you to the mall today?
00:10:16	I was just shopping with my girlfriends.
00:10:19	You're gay?
00:10:21	No.
00:10:22	Just ignore her.
00:10:24	Well, how are you feeling?
00:10:25	Great! Everything's stupendous.
00:10:27	Oh, coming in on that snooze button.
00:10:33	That's incredible.
00:10:35	Oh, God.
00:10:37	What?
00:10:38	Kicking away.
00:10:43	Could I feel it?
00:10:46	Are you kidding?
00:10:49	At school everyone's just
00:10:53	I'm a legend.
00:11:00	I can't feel anything.
00:11:04	It's not moving for me.
00:11:08	You should try talking to it.
00:11:09	They can hear you, even though it's
00:11:28	Hi, baby.
00:11:35	It's me. It's Vanessa.
00:11:42	I can't wait to meet you.
00:11:51	Can you hear me, baby?
00:11:54	Sweet angel?
00:12:07	I felt it!
00:12:10	That was magical.
00:12:17	Thank you.
00:12:19	Thank you.
00:13:12	Hello?
00:13:13	Hey!
00:13:14	So, I've been listening to that
00:13:18	Yeah? What's the verdict?
00:13:20	Well, it's cute.
00:13:22	It's cute?
00:13:23	When you're used to listening to the
00:13:26	everything else just sounds
00:13:30	I imagine you have a collection of
00:13:34	Well...
00:13:35	...consider it your musical education.
00:13:38	I can't wait to see what
00:13:40	Stop surfing porn and get back to work.
00:13:43	Just wanted to call and say hi.
00:13:46	Go learn something.
00:13:49	- Oh, a little trip down Mexico way.
00:13:54	How many months has it been now?
00:13:56	You're getting huge.
00:13:58	It's homing in on the eight. You
00:14:02	I wish my funbags would get bigger.
00:14:04	Trust me, you don't. I have to
00:14:07	and rub all this nasty cocoa butter
00:14:13	Hot!
00:14:17	Why is everyone always staring at me?
00:14:19	Well, you are kind of convex, you know?
00:14:23	Whoah! Who's been doing their
00:14:26	I have no choice. Keith has
00:14:30	Do not call Mr. Conyers "Keith".
00:14:32	'Cause my barf reflex is
00:14:35	But Keith's hot.
00:14:39	Eww, he's all beardy!
00:14:42	Did you hear that Bleek is going
00:14:47	Katrina?
00:14:49	No way, he doesn't like Katrina.
00:14:51	Must be like a pity date or something.
00:14:53	I heard he asked her and
00:14:55	and then prom, and then
00:14:59	He told me that Katrina's
00:15:01	Oh my God, it totally does.
00:15:03	I was there four years ago for her birthday
00:15:08	But you know, boys have endured
00:15:11	Oh, please.
00:15:13	There is no way that they're having sex,
00:15:15	They wouldn't even be holding hands.
00:15:17	I wouldn't be so sure,
00:15:19	Yeah, 'cause Bleek trusts me.
00:15:21	We're best friends.
00:15:23	Are you jealous?
00:15:24	I thought you said you
00:15:28	Not jealous, don't care.
00:15:29	I know Bleek doesn't like
00:15:31	toy with her emotions like
00:15:34	Uh-huh, I'm really convinced.
00:15:36	Prom is for wenises, anyway.
00:15:38	As soon as you're old enough
00:15:50	Are you honestly and truly going
00:15:55	Uh, hi?
00:15:56	Leah just said that you
00:15:58	Yeah, I did ask her if she wanted to go.
00:16:01	A bunch of us from the
00:16:04	then go the prom, then go
00:16:09	We're getting a stretch limo.
00:16:12	Your mom must be pretty stoked
00:16:16	You're mad. Why are you mad?
00:16:19	I'm not mad. I'm in a great mood.
00:16:21	Despite the fact that I'm in
00:16:23	despite the fact that pretty
00:16:26	fun of me behind my back,
00:16:29	girlfriend gave me the
00:16:32	Katrina's not my girlfriend! And I
00:16:37	That's just the way her face looks.
00:16:41	Just take Soupy Sales to prom, I can think
00:16:47	I might pumice my feet or go
00:16:50	maybe get hit by a truck
00:16:54	All those things would be exponentially
00:17:01	You're being really immature.
00:17:05	You have no reason to be mad
00:17:08	I should be royally ticked off at you.
00:17:11	I should be really cheesed off. I
00:17:16	Why? Because I got bored and had sex with
00:17:20	Like I'd marry you! You'd
00:17:23	And I know that you
00:17:25	because there was a lot of stuff on TV.
00:17:27	The Blair Witch Project was
00:17:30	"I haven't seen this since it came out,
00:17:39	You just take Katrina the
00:17:41	I'm sure you two will
00:17:45	I still have your underwear.
00:17:47	I still have your virginity!
00:17:49	Would you shut up!
00:17:51	What? Are you ashamed that we did it?
00:17:53	- No.
00:17:54	you don't have to have the
00:17:59	I'm a planet!
00:18:04	Wait, let me get your bag.
00:18:07	What's another ten pounds?
00:18:55	Hi.
00:18:56	Wow. That shirt's working hard.
00:18:58	Is Vanessa here?
00:18:59	No. We are safe.
00:19:03	I'm glad you're here, I
00:19:10	Almost there.
00:19:15	Whoah, Mark! Is this the
00:19:18	Hilarious.
00:19:20	This is where I keep all my old comics,
00:19:22	And I want to show you one.
00:19:24	You're one of those guys?
00:19:26	Take a look.
00:19:31	Most Fruitful Yuki?
00:19:34	Is this a pregnant superhero?
00:19:36	Isn't that great?
00:19:37	I found it in Japan when
00:19:38	It reminds me of you.
00:19:40	Hells, yeah!
00:19:42	This actually makes me
00:19:47	Yuki is a real bad ass.
00:19:48	You should be very proud
00:19:52	Thank you.
00:19:54	Oh, how about some tunage?
00:19:56	Alright, don't look, no matter what.
00:20:01	This one is actually kinda slow.
00:20:03	But it's Mott the Hoople so it's
00:20:13	I know this one.
00:20:14	- You do?
00:20:18	I danced to this at my senior prom.
00:20:21	Who'd you dance with?
00:20:23	Cynthia Vogel, great dance partner.
00:20:25	She let me put my
00:20:27	- Hot.
00:20:30	I can just, totally,
00:20:33	Like a total dork!
00:20:37	Her hands there,
00:20:42	And my hands down here.
00:20:44	This is how we did it in '88.
00:20:45	Like this?
00:20:47	Just like this.
00:20:48	You've never been to a dance before?
00:20:50	Dances are for nerds and squares.
00:20:52	What are you?
00:20:54	I don't know.
00:20:58	I feel like there's
00:21:17	I'm leaving Vanessa.
00:21:22	What?
00:21:23	I'm getting a place in the city.
00:21:24	It's something I've wanted
00:21:27	No!
00:21:29	No?
00:21:30	No! You definitely can't do that.
00:21:32	That's one big, fat sack of no!
00:21:35	What is the matter?
00:21:37	You guys are supposed
00:21:42	I thought you'd be cool with this.
00:21:45	I want things to be perfect.
00:21:47	I don't want them to be shitty and
00:21:53	Look, I'll have the baby, and
00:21:57	A baby is not going to fix everything.
00:21:59	Besides, I don't know if I'm
00:22:02	But you're old!
00:22:08	How do you think of me?
00:22:10	Why are you over here?
00:22:15	I...
00:22:17	I just like being a piece of
00:22:22	This is what my life has
00:22:25	I'm underground.
00:22:29	- This is my fault.
00:22:30	Is Vanessa mad at you because of me?
00:22:33	That's got nothing to do with it.
00:22:35	You were in love when you married her!
00:22:38	If you're in love once,
00:22:40	My friend Leah has been with the
00:22:44	You're just not trying hard enough.
00:22:46	I'm such an idiot. I can't
00:22:47	No, you know what, Mark.
00:22:48	Do not divorce your wife!
00:22:52	Will you please just do me a
00:22:57	You're so young.
00:22:59	I'm not that young.
00:23:00	I'm old enough to know when
00:23:04	Oh, and you know what,
00:23:06	I bought another Sonic Youth album
00:23:16	Juno? What's going on?
00:23:19	Nothing.
00:23:20	Why are you crying?
00:23:22	I'm not crying. I'm just
00:23:27	What's the matter?
00:23:28	What's the matter?
00:23:30	She's just a little
00:23:32	It's part of the process.
00:23:38	What did you do?
00:23:42	I didn't do anything...
00:23:45	Just...
00:23:50	I've been thinking.
00:23:52	- What?
00:23:57	What are you talking about?
00:24:00	Just wondering if it's,
00:24:02	Just wondering if we're ready.
00:24:05	Yeah, we're ready.
00:24:06	We're ready. We've read the
00:24:09	We have a nursery that is completely...
00:24:11	Vanessa, I know we're prepared.
00:24:22	Wait a minute.
00:24:23	Juno, don't listen to him.
00:24:27	He's just being a guy.
00:24:28	The books all say the same thing.
00:24:30	A woman becomes a mother
00:24:32	A man becomes a father
00:24:36	He's going to get there.
00:24:39	It just happened so fast.
00:24:40	We put the ad in the paper and I thought
00:24:43	Two weeks later, she's on that couch.
00:24:46	She answered our prayers.
00:24:47	Ever since then it's
00:24:54	What are you saying?
00:24:59	That it feels a little like bad timing.
00:25:04	What would be a good time for you, Mark?
00:25:08	There's just some things
00:25:11	Like what? Be a rock star?
00:25:14	Don't mock me.
00:25:16	I'm just saying that this is,
00:25:19	This is something that's
00:25:25	Your shirt is stupid.
00:25:28	Grow up.
00:25:29	If I have to wait for
00:25:31	I'm never going to be a mother.
00:25:37	I never said I'd be a good father.
00:28:35	I called Gerta Rauss and she said
00:28:39	It's called a "collaborative divorce. "
00:28:42	It's all the rage right now, supposedly.
00:28:45	And it would be pretty easy
00:28:47	Thanks for making the call, I guess.
00:28:57	Have you found a place to stay yet?
00:28:59	- Yeah, downtown.
00:29:02	No, it's not a hotel. It's a loft.
00:29:05	Aren't you the cool guy?
00:29:12	I wanted a baby so bad.
00:29:15	I know.
00:29:36	- It looks like a bill from
00:30:21	I never realize how much
00:30:23	I've been somewhere really
00:30:34	Hey, Dad.
00:30:36	Hey, big puffy version of Junebug.
00:30:38	Where have you been?
00:30:40	Dealing with things way
00:30:46	Where is everybody?
00:30:48	Bren took Liberty Bell to
00:30:52	When will you guys learn
00:30:57	You're looking a little morose, honey.
00:30:59	What's eating you?
00:31:08	I'm just, like, losing
00:31:12	Can you narrow that down for me?
00:31:15	I just...
00:31:16	...wonder if...
00:31:19	...two people can
00:31:22	You mean like couples?
00:31:24	Yeah, like,
00:31:25	People in love.
00:31:28	Are you having boy trouble
00:31:30	I don't really much approve of
00:31:33	That's kind of messed up.
00:31:35	No, dad!
00:31:36	I mean, that's pretty skanky.
00:31:37	Isn't that what you girls
00:31:39	Please stop.
00:31:41	Tore up from the floor up?
00:31:42	That's not what it's about.
00:31:48	I just need to know that it's possible that
00:31:56	It's not easy, that's for sure.
00:31:59	I don't have the best track
00:32:04	I've been with your
00:32:06	and I'm proud to say
00:32:10	Look...
00:32:12	...In my opinion...
00:32:14	The best thing you can do is find a person
00:32:22	Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty,
00:32:25	Handsome, what have you,
00:32:29	the right person is still gonna
00:32:35	That's the kind of person
00:32:38	Yeah.
00:32:43	I think I've found that person.
00:32:46	Yeah, sure you
00:32:49	You know I'll always be there to love you, support
00:32:54	Obviously.
00:33:00	Dad, I think I'm just gonna,
00:33:02	shove out for a sec, but,
00:33:05	I won't be home late.
00:33:06	Okay.
00:33:09	You were talking about me, right?
00:33:11	Oh, yeah.
00:34:08	Hi.
00:34:12	Did you put like a hundred
00:34:15	Oh, yeah, that was me.
00:34:18	Why?
00:34:19	They're your fave.
00:34:21	You can never have too many of your
00:34:25	Yeah, well thanks, I...
00:34:27	...I think I'm pretty much set
00:34:31	You know, Bleek, I was thinking.
00:34:33	I'm sorry I was such a huge bitch
00:34:38	It's okay.
00:34:42	Also,
00:34:45	I think I'm in love with you.
00:34:49	What, you mean as friends?
00:34:51	No.
00:34:53	I mean, for real.
00:34:55	Because you're, like, the
00:34:59	And you don't even have to try.
00:35:03	I try really hard, actually.
00:35:05	You're, like, naturally smart.
00:35:08	You're not like everyone else.
00:35:09	You don't stare at my stomach
00:35:12	And every time I see you, the
00:35:19	It does?
00:35:33	I think it's because my heart
00:35:37	Mine too.
00:35:41	That's all I could ask for.
00:35:46	You're golden, man.
00:35:50	Can we make out now?
00:35:53	Yeah.
00:36:07	You know, you can go into early
00:36:35	Dad!
00:36:37	What?
00:36:39	Dad, either I just peed my pants or...
00:36:42	Or?
00:36:44	Thundercats are go!
00:36:46	All out, all out!
00:36:48	Do you have the admittance form?
00:36:50	What about the parking stickers?
00:36:51	Have you got Liberty Bell?
00:36:53	Oh, sweetie, sweetie!
00:36:58	Here we go.
00:37:03	Hurry! Start the car, go!
00:37:05	Gas!
00:37:10	- Wait, wait!
00:37:16	- Don't do that.
00:37:18	- That.
00:37:22	Bren, when do I get that
00:37:25	It's called a spinal block, and
00:37:27	The doctor said you're
00:37:30	Come on! I have to wait
00:37:32	Why can't I just have
00:37:36	Honey, doctors are sadists who like to
00:37:41	Oh, shit.
00:37:42	Excuse me! Can we give my kid
00:38:15	And then...
00:38:17	...out of nowhere...
00:38:19	...there it was...
00:38:22	There he was.
00:38:30	I decided not to call Bleeker to
00:38:33	He had a big meet against Manteno and I
00:38:43	But he figured it out anyway.
00:39:02	Someday you'll be back here, honey.
00:39:07	On your terms.
00:39:20	Hey.
00:39:22	Nice legs.
00:40:06	Bleeker decided he didn't
00:40:09	Neither did I, really.
00:40:20	I think he was always hers.
00:40:26	Would you like to meet your son?
00:40:30	I have a son?
00:41:00	How do I look?
00:41:03	Like a new mom.
00:41:04	Scared shitless.
00:41:32	It ended with a chair.
00:42:30	As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally
00:42:38	I know people are supposed to fall
00:42:42	I guess normalcy's not really our style.
00:42:50	Hey.
00:42:52	Hey.
00:42:58	Ready?
00:42:59	Yeah.

Juno