|
Kick ass
|
| 00:00:27 |
Guardian of the universe protecting |
| 00:00:31 |
He can catch a bullet. |
| 00:00:34 |
And leap tall buildings |
| 00:00:36 |
- up in the sky! |
| 00:00:38 |
A mailman by day. the |
| 00:00:42 |
Defending the citizens of New |
| 00:00:45 |
The world has been protected by a |
| 00:00:48 |
...who have dedicated |
| 00:00:50 |
Mysterious traveller |
| 00:00:52 |
He has powers far beyond the |
| 00:01:07 |
I always wondered why |
| 00:01:12 |
I mean, all those comic |
| 00:01:16 |
You'd think that one eccentric loner |
| 00:01:22 |
I mean, is everyday |
| 00:01:25 |
Are schools and offices so thrilling... |
| 00:01:27 |
...that I'm the only one who |
| 00:01:31 |
Come on, be honest with yourself. |
| 00:01:34 |
At some point in our lives we |
| 00:01:54 |
That's not me, by the way. |
| 00:01:57 |
That's some Armenian guy with a |
| 00:02:01 |
Who am I? |
| 00:02:03 |
I'm Kick-Ass. |
| 00:02:15 |
That's me... back before any |
| 00:02:19 |
I guess I was the last person |
| 00:02:24 |
I'm not saying there was |
| 00:02:27 |
...but there's nothing special, either. |
| 00:02:30 |
- asshole! |
| 00:02:32 |
I wasn't a mathlete |
| 00:02:36 |
I didn't have a piercing |
| 00:02:39 |
or 3000 friends on myspace. |
| 00:02:41 |
My only superpower was |
| 00:02:46 |
And out of my friends, man, |
| 00:02:50 |
Like most people my age, I just existed. |
| 00:03:04 |
Good morning, class. |
| 00:03:05 |
Please open your books |
| 00:03:10 |
Kick in my bedroom door and you'll |
| 00:03:14 |
...or talking to my |
| 00:03:16 |
- You watching 'family guy'? |
| 00:03:18 |
Me neither. turn on |
| 00:03:26 |
Or jerking off, mostly |
| 00:03:30 |
Dave Lizewski. don't think I haven't |
| 00:03:37 |
Oh, I want your hands |
| 00:03:43 |
Sure, a lot of what got me |
| 00:03:45 |
...was making deposits in the |
| 00:03:49 |
Though, to be honest, it |
| 00:03:54 |
I swear, when my hormones balance out... |
| 00:03:57 |
...shares in kleenex are |
| 00:04:03 |
Dave Lizewski. shouldn't you be |
| 00:04:07 |
Yes, mrs Zane. |
| 00:04:11 |
Sorry. |
| 00:04:13 |
But don't get me wrong. I |
| 00:04:17 |
- Especially Katie Deauxma. |
| 00:04:21 |
Hey. |
| 00:04:26 |
Oh... no. |
| 00:04:28 |
You meant Erika. |
| 00:04:31 |
I know. I knew that. I was just kidding. |
| 00:04:35 |
Okay, cool. |
| 00:04:37 |
Oh my god. |
| 00:04:42 |
Hey, look, I'm Todd's mom. |
| 00:04:47 |
That's funny. this is your dad. |
| 00:04:49 |
No, that's still my mom, actually. |
| 00:04:54 |
Oh, the fuck! |
| 00:04:56 |
I was just a regular guy. |
| 00:04:58 |
No radioactive spiders, no refugee |
| 00:05:03 |
You know what? Todd said they |
| 00:05:06 |
They just don't sell it |
| 00:05:10 |
My mother was killed by |
| 00:05:13 |
As opposed to a gunman in the alley. |
| 00:05:16 |
So if you were hoping for any... |
| 00:05:17 |
I will avenge you, mother! |
| 00:05:20 |
...you're out of luck. |
| 00:05:22 |
In the 18 months since my mother died... |
| 00:05:24 |
...the only epiphany I had was |
| 00:05:28 |
Did they change the bee's face? |
| 00:05:31 |
No. |
| 00:05:40 |
How come nobody's ever |
| 00:05:43 |
Boy, I dunno. probably because |
| 00:05:46 |
What, putting on a mask and helping |
| 00:05:49 |
That's not superhero, though. |
| 00:05:51 |
Super's like being stronger than |
| 00:05:54 |
That's just hero. |
| 00:05:55 |
No, it's not even hero. |
| 00:05:59 |
Hello? Bruce Wayne? he |
| 00:06:02 |
Yes, but he had all the |
| 00:06:04 |
I thought you meant how come |
| 00:06:06 |
Yeah, Todd, that's what I meant. |
| 00:06:08 |
Dude, if anybody did it in real |
| 00:06:11 |
- They'd be dead in, like, a day. |
| 00:06:13 |
Yeah, okay, I'm not |
| 00:06:15 |
I just can't figure out why nobody does. |
| 00:06:17 |
Seriously, out of all the millions |
| 00:06:21 |
You'd think one would give it a try. |
| 00:06:24 |
Jesus, guys, does it not bug you? |
| 00:06:26 |
Why thousands of people wanna be Paris |
| 00:06:27 |
Hilton and nobody wants to be spiderman? |
| 00:06:29 |
Yeah, what's with that? she |
| 00:06:32 |
Maybe it's a porn tape. he |
| 00:06:35 |
You guys never saw 'One |
| 00:06:39 |
Oooh, guess who? |
| 00:06:44 |
Is it me or do you kinda |
| 00:06:48 |
Must be terrible to have a rich |
| 00:06:51 |
I wish you wouldn't have said anything |
| 00:06:52 |
Cos I feel like I'm |
| 00:06:54 |
The fact that he's always on his own. |
| 00:06:59 |
We should, like, talk to him. |
| 00:07:01 |
See if he wants to hang out with us. |
| 00:07:03 |
Oh, I didn't say we should |
| 00:07:05 |
Think about it. come |
| 00:07:07 |
If he was our friend, no one |
| 00:07:10 |
Go on then, Todd. |
| 00:07:11 |
- You wanna go talk to him? |
| 00:07:12 |
No, you wanna go talk |
| 00:07:13 |
- Dave, Dave should go. |
| 00:07:16 |
- Why? |
| 00:07:18 |
- You're a dick. |
| 00:07:20 |
You're a pussy. |
| 00:07:29 |
Fuck off! |
| 00:07:36 |
- Did you spray anything over there? |
| 00:07:44 |
If that guy spoke to me like |
| 00:07:46 |
Todd, when have you |
| 00:07:48 |
Whatever, man. I would have |
| 00:07:50 |
Well, you're not making sense. |
| 00:07:52 |
Well, what I'm saying is the |
| 00:07:54 |
would undoubtedly penetrate |
| 00:07:56 |
Leaving him totally vulnerable to the... |
| 00:07:58 |
- All right, and then... but, you know... |
| 00:08:01 |
Phones. Money. |
| 00:08:02 |
Dude, not again, come on. |
| 00:08:06 |
Phone. |
| 00:08:07 |
I don't have one someone |
| 00:08:09 |
- Pussy. |
| 00:08:12 |
- It's just comics. |
| 00:08:25 |
Look at this asshole just watching. |
| 00:08:32 |
Come on, be honest with yourself. |
| 00:08:36 |
Would you do anything differently? |
| 00:08:40 |
We see someone in trouble |
| 00:08:43 |
But we don't. |
| 00:08:49 |
The world I lived in... heroes |
| 00:08:54 |
I guess that would have been okay |
| 00:08:59 |
But they're not. |
| 00:09:02 |
Frankie, I'm telling you, man, |
| 00:09:05 |
This fucking guy comes out of nowhere. |
| 00:09:09 |
Kicks our asses and steals all the coke. |
| 00:09:12 |
- The guy that looks like batman? |
| 00:09:16 |
You did Tre, you said the |
| 00:09:19 |
- He said like a mask and stuff. |
| 00:09:21 |
Yeah, like batman. |
| 00:09:22 |
I didn't say "like batman". |
| 00:09:25 |
Okay. |
| 00:09:27 |
Let me tell you the problem |
| 00:09:30 |
Our mole with the Russians |
| 00:09:35 |
According to him, you sold him |
| 00:09:39 |
That's a fucking lie! |
| 00:09:41 |
I can't believe that you would believe |
| 00:09:45 |
Man! |
| 00:09:46 |
Let me see, Tre, |
| 00:09:49 |
That you're a greedy little |
| 00:09:51 |
Cock-sucker or all my coke |
| 00:09:54 |
- Batman. |
| 00:09:56 |
Enough! |
| 00:10:00 |
My son is waiting to go to the movies |
| 00:10:07 |
Joe, you're in charge. |
| 00:10:09 |
That's gotta be the worst |
| 00:10:20 |
Sorry you had to wait, buddy. |
| 00:10:22 |
the movie is starting in 10 minutes. |
| 00:10:23 |
It's okay, we're cool. |
| 00:10:25 |
We're only gonna miss the trailers. |
| 00:10:27 |
Yeah, but I wanna get some popcorn. |
| 00:10:29 |
When we get in there, get |
| 00:10:33 |
What d'you wanna drink? |
| 00:10:34 |
- You want a pepsi? |
| 00:10:35 |
Get him a pepsi and |
| 00:10:40 |
Like when they mix the |
| 00:10:44 |
And a pack of twizzlers. |
| 00:11:07 |
The comic books had it wrong. |
| 00:11:09 |
It didn't take a trauma or cosmic |
| 00:11:12 |
rays or a power ring |
| 00:11:16 |
Just the perfect combination |
| 00:11:54 |
You are fucking awesome. |
| 00:11:59 |
Come on then, bring it on! |
| 00:12:28 |
- Daddy, I'm scared. |
| 00:12:31 |
Be a big girl now. there's |
| 00:12:35 |
- Is it gonna hurt bad? |
| 00:12:38 |
Only for a second, sugar. |
| 00:12:40 |
A handgun bullet travels at more than... |
| 00:12:43 |
- 700 miles an hour. |
| 00:12:45 |
So at close range, like this, |
| 00:12:47 |
The force is gonna take you |
| 00:12:50 |
...but it's really no more |
| 00:12:53 |
I hate getting punched in the chest. |
| 00:12:56 |
You're gonna be fine, baby doll. |
| 00:13:06 |
How was that? not so bad. |
| 00:13:08 |
Kinda fun, huh? now |
| 00:13:12 |
You won't be scared when some |
| 00:13:15 |
- I wouldn't have been scared anyways. |
| 00:13:18 |
All right, up you get. come on. |
| 00:13:20 |
Two more rounds and then home. |
| 00:13:22 |
- Again? |
| 00:13:25 |
Only if we can go by the |
| 00:13:28 |
- The bowling alley? - |
| 00:13:34 |
Okay. two more rounds. no wincing... |
| 00:13:39 |
...no whining, and you got |
| 00:13:42 |
Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae. |
| 00:13:45 |
Good call, baby doll. |
| 00:13:51 |
So, have you thought about what |
| 00:13:55 |
Can I get a puppy? |
| 00:13:58 |
- You wanna get a dog? |
| 00:14:01 |
And a bratz moviestar makeover sasha. |
| 00:14:09 |
I'm just fucking with you, daddy. |
| 00:14:11 |
Look, I'll have a benchmade |
| 00:14:14 |
Oh, child. you always |
| 00:14:18 |
- You know what? |
| 00:14:19 |
- I'm gonna get you two. |
| 00:14:22 |
One balisong. two balisong. |
| 00:14:43 |
The glass of fashion |
| 00:14:46 |
- The observed of all observers, |
| 00:14:50 |
And I, of ladies most |
| 00:14:59 |
I'll be honest, |
| 00:15:01 |
There wasn't a whole lot of |
| 00:15:05 |
But even so, my new |
| 00:15:13 |
Shit. |
| 00:15:14 |
I called it preparation. |
| 00:15:20 |
But if you called it fantasizing, |
| 00:15:25 |
All I knew was I'd never |
| 00:15:45 |
Fuck! |
| 00:15:48 |
Okay, maybe I was still |
| 00:15:51 |
But it was a start. |
| 00:16:10 |
What the fuck are you looking at? |
| 00:16:13 |
- Nothing. |
| 00:16:20 |
Like every serial killer already knew, |
| 00:16:22 |
Eventually fantasizing just |
| 00:16:26 |
It was time to engage. |
| 00:16:30 |
Hurry up, man. |
| 00:16:35 |
What the fuck...? |
| 00:16:45 |
The fuck you looking at? |
| 00:16:48 |
I said what the fuck are you looking at? |
| 00:16:55 |
Two cheap shit losers |
| 00:16:58 |
...that someone probably |
| 00:17:02 |
- Say what? |
| 00:17:06 |
This motherfucker's obviously high. |
| 00:17:09 |
I'm not high. |
| 00:17:10 |
I just think it sucks you guys |
| 00:17:15 |
Just walk away from the car |
| 00:17:20 |
You're crazy, man. |
| 00:17:23 |
Fuck this shit. |
| 00:17:38 |
- Shit. |
| 00:18:22 |
I came round long enough to beg the |
| 00:18:24 |
Medic not to tell |
| 00:18:27 |
He promised he wouldn't. |
| 00:18:30 |
All I knew was my dad was gonna kill me. |
| 00:18:48 |
Why can't I have a gun? |
| 00:18:51 |
You're a doorman now. you |
| 00:18:53 |
I look like a putz. |
| 00:18:55 |
You look sharp. all them buttons. |
| 00:19:02 |
Have a nice day. |
| 00:19:31 |
- Good morning, Frank. |
| 00:19:34 |
Great. |
| 00:19:35 |
- Want some coffee? |
| 00:19:38 |
- Morning, Ange. |
| 00:19:39 |
- Chris. |
| 00:19:42 |
Frank, we got a thing. |
| 00:19:46 |
It's a big thing, Frank. |
| 00:19:51 |
Okay. |
| 00:19:53 |
- Sorry, hon. |
| 00:20:01 |
- Chris, where do you think you're going? |
| 00:20:03 |
Christopher. |
| 00:20:05 |
Frank, honey. |
| 00:20:09 |
Where do you think you're going? |
| 00:20:10 |
I don't mind you talking business. |
| 00:20:14 |
I should probably start |
| 00:20:17 |
Hey, go finish your oatmeal. |
| 00:20:19 |
God-dammit, I'm gonna be 18 |
| 00:20:26 |
Take a seat. |
| 00:20:30 |
So what's the problem? |
| 00:20:31 |
Our Russian says that tre just sold |
| 00:20:36 |
- Which Tre? Tre Tre? |
| 00:20:40 |
So now I'm getting fucked |
| 00:20:42 |
Or tre was telling the truth. |
| 00:20:44 |
What, this is my choice? I gotta |
| 00:20:50 |
Not the part about |
| 00:20:52 |
Just that he might have really |
| 00:20:59 |
I think we better invite our |
| 00:21:05 |
See what's really going on. |
| 00:21:23 |
Hey, early birdie. you beat me to it. |
| 00:21:26 |
I wanted to get you |
| 00:21:28 |
Happy birthday, sweetheart. |
| 00:21:32 |
Check this out. |
| 00:21:42 |
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. |
| 00:21:44 |
Oh my gosh! dad. |
| 00:21:50 |
Wow. watch, dad. |
| 00:21:53 |
Okay, pop quiz. what's the |
| 00:21:57 |
Balisong. it's Filipino. Ask me another. |
| 00:21:59 |
Excellent, good. |
| 00:22:01 |
The AR15 was a lighter... |
| 00:22:03 |
...smaller calibre |
| 00:22:07 |
Eugene Stoner's AR10. |
| 00:22:10 |
The name of... |
| 00:22:13 |
...John Woo's first |
| 00:22:17 |
'Tie Han Rou Qing'. 'The Young Dragons'. |
| 00:22:19 |
Daddy, look. |
| 00:22:21 |
Hey, come on, you're not looking. |
| 00:22:26 |
The point is some fucker |
| 00:22:30 |
And until we find out who that is, |
| 00:22:31 |
I don't wanna see any of you |
| 00:22:34 |
All right?! |
| 00:22:34 |
What the fuck d'you... |
| 00:22:36 |
Hello. |
| 00:22:38 |
Hey, Joe, yeah. |
| 00:22:40 |
No, he's just training |
| 00:22:44 |
Dad. phone. |
| 00:22:48 |
Dad, the phone's for you. |
| 00:22:50 |
- Who is it? |
| 00:22:56 |
What's the problem? |
| 00:22:57 |
Yeah, Frank... |
| 00:22:57 |
Turns out we ain't got |
| 00:22:59 |
- Really? |
| 00:23:01 |
But we do got a brand new industrial |
| 00:23:03 |
Microwave -they use it |
| 00:23:05 |
Well, that is neat. |
| 00:23:08 |
I think you must be |
| 00:23:09 |
Gives a shit about the fucking lumber! |
| 00:23:11 |
- yeah, o-okay. all right, frank. |
| 00:23:13 |
All right, I'm sorry. |
| 00:23:14 |
Get the fucking rest of the information. |
| 00:23:15 |
All right, okay. |
| 00:23:18 |
Right, come on, go ahead. |
| 00:23:20 |
Hey, look, the guys tell |
| 00:23:22 |
What do I know, huh? |
| 00:23:24 |
- Shut up. |
| 00:23:25 |
- Okay, he lie. |
| 00:23:27 |
- He lie about... |
| 00:23:32 |
This work like a regular microwave? |
| 00:23:34 |
Fuck do I know? we're not making a |
| 00:23:41 |
Here we go. |
| 00:23:42 |
Okay, I wanna know |
| 00:23:46 |
And don't tell me somebody |
| 00:23:52 |
Can he hear you? I don't |
| 00:23:57 |
I said who really sold you our coke? |
| 00:24:04 |
Who sold... |
| 00:24:07 |
...you... our... coke? |
| 00:24:13 |
Oh, shit! shit! |
| 00:24:21 |
This is awesome! |
| 00:24:22 |
I look like fricking wolverine. |
| 00:24:25 |
You still have that metal |
| 00:24:28 |
Yeah. it's gonna have a meltdown. |
| 00:24:33 |
Dave, I need to ask you something. |
| 00:24:37 |
Okay. |
| 00:24:38 |
The police report. they found you naked. |
| 00:24:41 |
You said you didn't remember why. |
| 00:24:45 |
The muggers, they didn't... |
| 00:24:48 |
What? |
| 00:24:51 |
No. jesus. no, I... I wasn't even... |
| 00:24:57 |
In the ambulance they threw my |
| 00:25:01 |
Okay, okay. |
| 00:25:09 |
Seemed like no time at all |
| 00:25:11 |
- Dave's what? |
| 00:25:15 |
Apart from some |
| 00:25:17 |
The doctors fixed me up pretty good. |
| 00:25:20 |
- Did you feel that? |
| 00:25:22 |
You're like fucking Jason Bourne |
| 00:25:25 |
- How about that? |
| 00:25:27 |
Give it a fucking rest. |
| 00:25:29 |
I've only been back like half a day and |
| 00:25:30 |
You're already making me |
| 00:25:32 |
He's right. I'm sorry. I'm |
| 00:25:35 |
- Stop with the fork. |
| 00:25:49 |
Hey. |
| 00:25:53 |
Dave, hey. |
| 00:25:55 |
Oh, hey. |
| 00:25:58 |
How are you? you look better. |
| 00:26:01 |
I'm good. yeah, much better. |
| 00:26:04 |
You're into comic books, aren't you? |
| 00:26:07 |
Well, me and Erika sometimes |
| 00:26:09 |
At this really great |
| 00:26:12 |
They make the best white |
| 00:26:15 |
Yeah? |
| 00:26:18 |
I could buy you one sometime |
| 00:26:26 |
- Sure. thank you. |
| 00:26:28 |
Sweet. well, I'll see you later. |
| 00:26:34 |
- Did you see that? |
| 00:26:35 |
Katie Deauxma just |
| 00:26:38 |
Yeah. you know, I really don't |
| 00:26:40 |
- What are you talking about? |
| 00:26:43 |
...Katie's all about the lame ducks. |
| 00:26:46 |
What's this got to do with me? |
| 00:26:48 |
I've been trying to figure |
| 00:26:51 |
- There's a rumour going around... |
| 00:26:53 |
- ...that you... |
| 00:26:55 |
- ...are gay. |
| 00:26:57 |
- What kind of rumour's that? |
| 00:27:00 |
- You guys have been mugged. |
| 00:27:02 |
...we didn't get beat up and |
| 00:27:05 |
It's not even true. the |
| 00:27:09 |
Don't worry about it. |
| 00:27:11 |
We know the truth. |
| 00:27:12 |
Right? |
| 00:27:13 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:27:13 |
Who knows, this might even get you laid. |
| 00:27:16 |
No, not if she thinks he's |
| 00:27:19 |
- That's really fucking helping me! |
| 00:27:26 |
I was getting back to my old self. |
| 00:27:28 |
I should have quit, of course... |
| 00:27:31 |
...but you can't just |
| 00:27:33 |
...what you want, who you |
| 00:27:37 |
No, I'm just standing around. |
| 00:27:40 |
No, I'm not! |
| 00:27:42 |
- It is what it is. |
| 00:27:46 |
Oh, yeah. didn't see that, did you? |
| 00:27:49 |
Think it's best that you just walk away. |
| 00:27:51 |
Well maybe you shouldn't do that. |
| 00:27:53 |
What? huh? |
| 00:27:54 |
Are you looking at me? |
| 00:27:54 |
Well, this is my business. |
| 00:28:08 |
Me? my hardware was fixed now. |
| 00:28:11 |
I was back and running |
| 00:28:24 |
Excuse me. Have you seen this cat? |
| 00:28:27 |
No? okay, thank you. |
| 00:28:29 |
Excuse me, ma'am, |
| 00:28:34 |
I'm sorry, did you see this cat? |
| 00:28:37 |
No? okay. |
| 00:29:00 |
Oh, great! |
| 00:29:03 |
Here, kitty. here, mr Bitey. |
| 00:29:11 |
Come on. no, no, no, no, no. |
| 00:29:13 |
No, no, no. mr Bitey, come on. |
| 00:29:15 |
Back here. come on, let's |
| 00:29:31 |
Fuck you, mr Bitey! |
| 00:29:36 |
Oh, god, I'm so sorry, man. |
| 00:29:38 |
You fucking... |
| 00:29:44 |
Thanks, freak. |
| 00:29:48 |
- Leave him alone. |
| 00:29:55 |
Yes it is. |
| 00:30:24 |
Hey, call 911! |
| 00:30:32 |
Hey, there's a dude dressed like a |
| 00:30:40 |
It's fucking awesome! |
| 00:31:10 |
Leave him alone! |
| 00:31:17 |
Give it up, man. just walk away. |
| 00:31:21 |
No, never. |
| 00:31:24 |
What the fuck is wrong with you? you'd |
| 00:31:28 |
...that you don't even fucking know? |
| 00:31:30 |
You 3 assholes laying into 1 |
| 00:31:35 |
And you wanna know |
| 00:31:40 |
Yeah, I'd rather die. so bring it on! |
| 00:31:48 |
You're fucking crazy, kid. |
| 00:31:56 |
Thank you. |
| 00:31:58 |
What?! |
| 00:32:00 |
Thank you. |
| 00:32:05 |
That fucking rocked. who are you? |
| 00:32:10 |
I'm Kick-Ass. |
| 00:32:16 |
Dude, you gotta check this shit out. |
| 00:32:18 |
What is it? |
| 00:32:20 |
And coming up after the hour. |
| 00:32:22 |
A costume vigilante has become |
| 00:32:25 |
After a Hamilton park resident filmed |
| 00:32:30 |
- This is awesome. |
| 00:32:32 |
Welcome to this special |
| 00:32:35 |
How far would you go |
| 00:32:38 |
This colourful individual |
| 00:32:41 |
...after a video of his intervention |
| 00:32:45 |
...became the most watched |
| 00:32:48 |
You 3 assholes laying into 1 guy... |
| 00:32:51 |
Myspace...38 friends. |
| 00:32:55 |
Kick Ass's myspace...16,000 |
| 00:32:58 |
This thing was going |
| 00:33:01 |
And finally, we want |
| 00:33:05 |
Does anyone have any idea |
| 00:33:09 |
He must be someone's |
| 00:33:12 |
Someone's next door neighbour. |
| 00:33:13 |
Holy shit. what happened? |
| 00:33:15 |
What happened? this guy happened. |
| 00:33:19 |
It's a great day for america, everybody. |
| 00:33:23 |
Everybody's favourite superhero |
| 00:33:27 |
Yeah! |
| 00:33:30 |
I like kick-ass. his costume is crappy. |
| 00:33:34 |
He looks like a transvestite... |
| 00:33:36 |
You know what? everyone likes kick-ass. |
| 00:33:39 |
Did you see the clip? He |
| 00:33:41 |
Good at getting his ass kicked. |
| 00:33:44 |
He should call himself |
| 00:33:47 |
That doesn't even make sense. |
| 00:33:52 |
That guy's gonna end up |
| 00:33:54 |
Are you serious? The guy owns. |
| 00:33:56 |
I'd e-mail his site if I |
| 00:33:59 |
I got 100 guys can fix a problem, |
| 00:34:04 |
I wouldn't wanna get in the way of |
| 00:34:07 |
I know you have mistaken me for |
| 00:34:30 |
So you don't actually read comics? |
| 00:34:32 |
I just started. |
| 00:34:34 |
I got recommended some like |
| 00:34:37 |
That kinda thing. |
| 00:34:38 |
I'm not really into the |
| 00:34:42 |
So I guess you're not gonna line up |
| 00:34:46 |
I guess not. but I was seriously |
| 00:34:50 |
I mean, I could really use some |
| 00:34:53 |
Help? really? what with? |
| 00:34:56 |
You know I volunteer |
| 00:34:59 |
No, I didn't. |
| 00:35:00 |
Well, there's this one guy, Rasul. |
| 00:35:04 |
...the more I found out about his |
| 00:35:10 |
Wow, that's weird. I'm usually |
| 00:35:16 |
Can I make a confession? |
| 00:35:19 |
Ever since I was little I've |
| 00:35:24 |
...like you. |
| 00:35:26 |
Is it okay to say that? |
| 00:35:31 |
I mean, I don't think you're |
| 00:35:43 |
Of course not, no. |
| 00:35:46 |
Thank you. |
| 00:35:52 |
I don't know if I was everything |
| 00:35:56 |
...but I tried my best. |
| 00:35:58 |
More importantly, I talked |
| 00:36:03 |
Long story short, this |
| 00:36:07 |
...turned out to be |
| 00:36:10 |
She didn't want the money |
| 00:36:12 |
...or an apology for the |
| 00:36:16 |
She just wanted him to get that they |
| 00:36:20 |
And let's be real, no other request |
| 00:36:41 |
Who the fuck are you supposed |
| 00:36:45 |
You know it ain't halloween |
| 00:36:48 |
I'm here to see Rasul. |
| 00:36:52 |
Who the fuck are you? |
| 00:36:54 |
I'm Ki... I'm a friend of Katie's. |
| 00:37:02 |
Kids nowadays in their tights. |
| 00:37:19 |
So, which one of you guys is Rasul? |
| 00:37:29 |
I'm Rasul. can't you |
| 00:37:36 |
What is this? trick |
| 00:37:40 |
Fuck. now I'm dead. |
| 00:37:43 |
I've a message for Rasul |
| 00:37:50 |
Katie? |
| 00:37:51 |
Oh, you're Rasul? |
| 00:37:53 |
Okay. you gotta stay away |
| 00:37:57 |
So if you just leave her |
| 00:38:01 |
What? |
| 00:38:04 |
Yo, kid. who the hell are you? |
| 00:38:07 |
And what is this? |
| 00:38:09 |
I'm kick-ass. Look me up. |
| 00:38:12 |
And this is me giving you a |
| 00:38:29 |
Or what? |
| 00:38:34 |
Or... I'll come back... |
| 00:38:38 |
...and break your fucking legs. |
| 00:38:45 |
I'm right here now, baby. |
| 00:38:50 |
Fuck! |
| 00:38:57 |
Hold him. |
| 00:39:06 |
You are so fucking dead, man. |
| 00:39:23 |
Okay, you cunts. Let's |
| 00:39:27 |
Eeny, meeny... |
| 00:39:29 |
...miny, mo. |
| 00:39:52 |
What the fuck?! |
| 00:40:21 |
Hey, I got one of those. |
| 00:40:41 |
Come on. |
| 00:40:43 |
So you wanna play. |
| 00:41:01 |
What the fuck? |
| 00:41:05 |
Oh, dude, that is |
| 00:41:11 |
Relax, we're on the same team. |
| 00:41:15 |
Hey, get up. |
| 00:41:22 |
Now, hit girl, we always |
| 00:41:27 |
To the wall, daddy, I |
| 00:41:32 |
- Nice shot, by the way. |
| 00:41:52 |
Let's go. |
| 00:41:55 |
Hey, asshole, you can't |
| 00:42:13 |
Wait, wait, wait. |
| 00:42:15 |
What? |
| 00:42:17 |
Who are you? |
| 00:42:19 |
Me? |
| 00:42:21 |
I'm Hit Girl. |
| 00:42:24 |
Big Daddy. |
| 00:42:33 |
Come on. |
| 00:42:39 |
Come on! |
| 00:43:17 |
Hit girl and Big Daddy. |
| 00:43:19 |
They were the real deal. |
| 00:43:23 |
Me? |
| 00:43:25 |
I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit. |
| 00:43:43 |
What is this? what am I looking at here? |
| 00:43:46 |
It was Sal's phone. They |
| 00:43:49 |
He must have taken that |
| 00:43:52 |
I know this sounds fucked-up, |
| 00:43:56 |
...I think it's that |
| 00:44:00 |
Who? |
| 00:44:02 |
Kick-Ass? |
| 00:44:04 |
One guy? |
| 00:44:06 |
Hold on, you're telling me one |
| 00:44:14 |
8 at Sal's place. 4 at that kid Rasul's. |
| 00:44:19 |
We have no merchandise |
| 00:44:21 |
Right. |
| 00:44:25 |
- One guy? |
| 00:44:28 |
If you're right, we'll look like |
| 00:44:32 |
What do you want me to do? |
| 00:44:35 |
I want kick-ass's fucking head |
| 00:44:49 |
I didn't say anything |
| 00:44:51 |
Good move, Ass... kick. |
| 00:44:57 |
You know what this is? |
| 00:44:59 |
It's all the cartridge crap that comes |
| 00:45:01 |
Out of your gay little |
| 00:45:03 |
You do know the police could have traced |
| 00:45:05 |
This right back to |
| 00:45:07 |
But lucky for you... I picked it up. |
| 00:45:11 |
Thank you. |
| 00:45:13 |
Let's call it insurance. makes it |
| 00:45:17 |
See, we like you, but |
| 00:45:22 |
Don't take it personal. |
| 00:45:24 |
I re-routed your IP address. |
| 00:45:27 |
Finding you was way too easy. |
| 00:45:31 |
Oh, shit. shit, I |
| 00:45:35 |
I, I owe you. |
| 00:45:38 |
I'm thinking of shutting |
| 00:45:41 |
Quitting. I mean, this |
| 00:45:46 |
I'm in way over my head. |
| 00:45:48 |
It's a shame. you have potential. |
| 00:45:50 |
Your call. but you know |
| 00:45:55 |
How do I get a hold of you? |
| 00:45:57 |
You just contact the mayor's office. |
| 00:45:58 |
He has a special signal |
| 00:46:01 |
In the shape of a giant cock. |
| 00:46:04 |
You need us, put on your website |
| 00:46:07 |
Hit girl, back to headquarters. |
| 00:46:11 |
Sweet dreams. |
| 00:46:19 |
I need you to get rid of Kick-Ass. |
| 00:46:21 |
- Yo. whoa, whoa, whoa. what's up? |
| 00:46:24 |
Kick-Ass is killing my men, |
| 00:46:27 |
My condolences, Frank. |
| 00:46:29 |
But I'm afraid I can't |
| 00:46:33 |
- little bit outside my jurisdiction. |
| 00:46:37 |
You're a fucking cop and |
| 00:46:39 |
That's so inside it's ball-deep |
| 00:46:42 |
Listen to me. |
| 00:46:43 |
The cops pay me to nail the |
| 00:46:47 |
- Everything else is in the grey area. |
| 00:46:51 |
Okay. |
| 00:46:56 |
Where's Cody? he's late. |
| 00:46:59 |
Thank you, Cody. We |
| 00:47:03 |
Let me out now? |
| 00:47:05 |
I gave you all them names and addresses. |
| 00:47:08 |
Hey, I won't say nothing to nobody. |
| 00:47:09 |
You and your crazy midget friend |
| 00:47:12 |
Hey, come on. |
| 00:47:13 |
Hey, I know some very bad people |
| 00:47:16 |
Let me go. hey, come on. |
| 00:47:18 |
Hey, hey, don't do this. you |
| 00:47:22 |
Please. hey. |
| 00:47:25 |
Come on, no, no... |
| 00:47:29 |
No, no, no! come on, please! |
| 00:47:32 |
Hey, you're crazy. please! |
| 00:47:46 |
What a douche. |
| 00:48:01 |
You have done self tan before, right? |
| 00:48:04 |
Yeah, like, I do it all the time. |
| 00:48:08 |
Murder, superheroes |
| 00:48:11 |
My life had turned into some fucked-up |
| 00:48:16 |
Even the good parts |
| 00:48:19 |
Oh, hey, I read those old |
| 00:48:22 |
They're actually pretty good. |
| 00:48:25 |
Yeah, they are. |
| 00:48:28 |
And it's been a whole week |
| 00:48:33 |
That's great. |
| 00:49:30 |
Once upon a time there were 2 |
| 00:49:35 |
...who were very good |
| 00:49:39 |
Frank D'Amico was the |
| 00:49:42 |
...and he came up with a |
| 00:49:49 |
Being framed as a drug dealer was the |
| 00:49:52 |
Worst thing that could |
| 00:49:57 |
Prison was not his natural habitat. |
| 00:50:00 |
He was very upset. |
| 00:50:06 |
With daddy in prison, his |
| 00:50:11 |
...and could not cope. |
| 00:50:15 |
But all clouds have a silver |
| 00:50:23 |
...Mindy was born. |
| 00:50:26 |
Marcus became the child's guardian... |
| 00:50:28 |
...and daddy started |
| 00:50:34 |
5 years later he left |
| 00:50:42 |
Now it was time for |
| 00:50:53 |
How did you find me, Marcus? |
| 00:50:55 |
One of us is still a cop, remember? |
| 00:51:07 |
Is this how you brainwashed Mindy? |
| 00:51:09 |
You say brainwashed, I |
| 00:51:11 |
You call this playing, Damon? |
| 00:51:13 |
Vigilante justice. mass |
| 00:51:19 |
So where is she? |
| 00:51:21 |
- She's safe. |
| 00:51:24 |
I miss her. |
| 00:51:27 |
I miss you both. |
| 00:51:30 |
I appreciate your concern, |
| 00:51:40 |
I should warn you, that asshole |
| 00:51:43 |
He got something to do with you, Damon? |
| 00:51:45 |
You started some kind of |
| 00:51:49 |
- Never heard of him. |
| 00:51:52 |
You keep carrying on |
| 00:51:54 |
It's only a matter of time |
| 00:51:57 |
He's been on D'Amico's payroll ever |
| 00:52:02 |
You know I'm not gonna stop. |
| 00:52:05 |
Not until D'Amico and his |
| 00:52:09 |
...are burnt to ashes and buried. |
| 00:52:15 |
It ain't gonna bring her back, damon. |
| 00:52:18 |
This is not the life for Mindy. |
| 00:52:23 |
You owe that kid a childhood. |
| 00:52:26 |
I'll tell you who owes her a childhood. |
| 00:52:29 |
Frank D'Amico! |
| 00:52:50 |
Holy shit. |
| 00:52:54 |
I don't fucking believe it. |
| 00:52:59 |
Follow him, round the corner. |
| 00:53:02 |
Not too fast. |
| 00:53:07 |
What's with the high-fives? |
| 00:53:09 |
I'll give you a |
| 00:53:12 |
High-fiving bullshit. |
| 00:53:16 |
Not too close. |
| 00:53:23 |
He's going in the alley. |
| 00:53:25 |
He's going in the alley. |
| 00:53:27 |
Okay, when I tell you, |
| 00:53:35 |
Hey, kick-ass. |
| 00:53:37 |
How you doing? |
| 00:53:41 |
Kill my men, huh? take my fucking coke! |
| 00:53:45 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa, boss. |
| 00:53:47 |
Boss, come on, we gotta go, baby. |
| 00:53:48 |
- Fucking scumbag! |
| 00:53:49 |
Boss, come on, he's had enough. |
| 00:53:51 |
Come on, Frank, he's |
| 00:53:54 |
What the fuck are you looking at? huh? |
| 00:54:09 |
Come on, come on. come |
| 00:54:12 |
Fuck. shit. damn. |
| 00:54:14 |
Come on, come on, get in. |
| 00:54:22 |
He was so young. no-one |
| 00:54:26 |
I just can't believe |
| 00:54:30 |
Oh, I know. but, Katie... |
| 00:54:34 |
...guys like Rasul get |
| 00:54:38 |
No, I know, I know, but |
| 00:54:41 |
What if kick-ass did it? I feel like |
| 00:54:45 |
You're talking crazy. there's no way. |
| 00:54:47 |
He probably didn't even |
| 00:54:50 |
Yeah. |
| 00:54:50 |
You got nothing to worry about. |
| 00:54:54 |
I'm so glad you're |
| 00:54:58 |
That's okay. it's not a problem. |
| 00:55:01 |
You're the best. |
| 00:55:05 |
I hope it's okay to say this, |
| 00:55:13 |
I don't fucking believe this. |
| 00:55:17 |
What kind of children's |
| 00:55:23 |
What kind of kid has a... |
| 00:55:24 |
...a spiderman party, sure, |
| 00:55:28 |
They selling paper plates |
| 00:55:31 |
Frank, you're scaring |
| 00:55:34 |
Since when did you start getting |
| 00:55:37 |
Since when I asked you fucks to deliver |
| 00:55:40 |
That's when. |
| 00:55:40 |
Give me a break, it's been a week. |
| 00:55:42 |
We got half the crew out |
| 00:55:46 |
We're busting our asses here. |
| 00:55:49 |
What the hell are you doing? |
| 00:55:51 |
You're back on the powder now as well? |
| 00:55:53 |
Mommy, I want a kick-ass |
| 00:55:58 |
I know a way you can get him. |
| 00:56:00 |
Shit! |
| 00:56:01 |
Chris, how long you been there? |
| 00:56:02 |
What the hell are you |
| 00:56:04 |
- Do you wanna hear it or not? |
| 00:56:07 |
Okay, look. you're a superhero and... |
| 00:56:10 |
...you can't trust anyone because |
| 00:56:13 |
Comic books this kid |
| 00:56:16 |
The point is, there's only one way a |
| 00:56:20 |
...I can be that stranger. you've |
| 00:56:23 |
I know I can do it. I |
| 00:56:27 |
Like what? |
| 00:56:30 |
I need these things. |
| 00:56:36 |
What, are you fucking kidding |
| 00:56:38 |
It's, it's everything I need. |
| 00:56:40 |
And you might have to screw someone |
| 00:56:43 |
Louie? oh, hey, Chris. uhhuh. |
| 00:56:44 |
Or, or somebody. it |
| 00:56:46 |
- Tony. |
| 00:56:48 |
Tony? |
| 00:56:49 |
- I hate tony. |
| 00:56:52 |
I swear, dad, if you let |
| 00:57:00 |
Tony. |
| 00:57:02 |
Tony Romita, one of america's |
| 00:57:05 |
was arrested in Queens today... |
| 00:57:07 |
...after a 911 call from someone |
| 00:57:10 |
So, how are things going with Katie? |
| 00:57:13 |
Oh, just peachy. |
| 00:57:15 |
We had a sleepover and |
| 00:57:17 |
...watching the entire 'ugly |
| 00:57:21 |
I'm telling you, the, the longer |
| 00:57:24 |
I know. I was gonna tell |
| 00:57:28 |
- I don't know when's the right time. |
| 00:57:32 |
- She didn't see that, did she? |
| 00:57:35 |
- Hi. |
| 00:57:37 |
Did you watch the tv? |
| 00:57:40 |
How cool is that? |
| 00:57:41 |
What? |
| 00:57:42 |
- Hey, look. |
| 00:57:44 |
Check this out. |
| 00:57:47 |
Far from being put off, this |
| 00:57:51 |
...has decided to take crime |
| 00:57:53 |
...as his actions last night proved. |
| 00:57:55 |
- Red mist, how do you see it? |
| 00:57:59 |
...and Kick-Ass proved that one |
| 00:58:02 |
So if anyone out there needs |
| 00:58:06 |
And I'm just one click |
| 00:58:10 |
Can we turn that off now? |
| 00:58:12 |
What's so special about that guy? |
| 00:58:14 |
He caught a drug dealer. |
| 00:58:17 |
- You saw him bring out a ton of stuff. |
| 00:58:21 |
Yeah, he's got a way better |
| 00:58:23 |
- He's got a cape. |
| 00:58:25 |
Capes rock. |
| 00:58:26 |
I'm kinda feeling the cape. looks good. |
| 00:58:29 |
What, better than kick-ass? |
| 00:58:32 |
They're both kinda hot. I just |
| 00:58:36 |
Don't you think, Dave? |
| 00:58:39 |
Yeah, Dave, what do you |
| 00:58:41 |
...is he the kinda guy you'd go |
| 00:58:45 |
No, Marty, he's not really my type. |
| 00:59:42 |
Kick-Ass. |
| 00:59:45 |
Red mist. |
| 00:59:47 |
Oh, shit. fuck me, that kinda hurt. |
| 00:59:51 |
- Are you okay? |
| 00:59:53 |
I can't believe you're here, |
| 00:59:57 |
You inspired me. no kick-ass, |
| 01:00:01 |
Wow. hey, really? |
| 01:00:04 |
Straight up. and listen, if you... |
| 01:00:06 |
...wanted me to be your |
| 01:00:10 |
You wanna be my sidekick? |
| 01:00:11 |
Yeah, man. you and me |
| 01:00:16 |
You wanna go fight some crime? |
| 01:00:18 |
Oh, what you mean like right now? |
| 01:00:20 |
Yeah, man. come on, I got |
| 01:00:23 |
Er, I mean, like to be honest with you, |
| 01:00:25 |
I only ever fight crime |
| 01:00:28 |
So I'm gonna need to |
| 01:00:35 |
Sweet. |
| 01:00:38 |
- Is that yours? |
| 01:00:50 |
Satnav got my iPhone so I can |
| 01:00:54 |
When we're driving around. |
| 01:00:56 |
Got a little bit of mood |
| 01:00:59 |
Rear-view camera. no big deal. |
| 01:01:01 |
Check this. You're |
| 01:01:08 |
The mist. |
| 01:01:14 |
That's right, we're |
| 01:01:21 |
- Smoke? |
| 01:01:24 |
I feel a little weed takes the |
| 01:01:26 |
You know. |
| 01:01:26 |
Going up against a crowd can |
| 01:01:32 |
Something wrong? |
| 01:01:35 |
You're so not how I expected. |
| 01:01:44 |
I got this e-mail from this chick. |
| 01:01:46 |
She said this guy's been |
| 01:01:49 |
I got her address and stuff. |
| 01:01:53 |
- Sure. why not? |
| 01:02:02 |
So, we're sitting there |
| 01:02:04 |
So I told her, "sit on my lap, |
| 01:02:05 |
We'll talk about the |
| 01:02:17 |
- Yeah? |
| 01:02:21 |
He did very good. |
| 01:02:23 |
- Don't kill him till I get there. |
| 01:02:31 |
Looks like reading all |
| 01:02:34 |
Your boy did good, Frankie. |
| 01:02:39 |
He's his father's son. |
| 01:02:40 |
Come on now who do you |
| 01:02:42 |
Who do you who do you |
| 01:02:43 |
Who do you think you are? |
| 01:02:48 |
Bless your soul |
| 01:02:51 |
Oh... I forgot. |
| 01:03:01 |
I think you're crazy |
| 01:03:05 |
I think you're crazy |
| 01:03:10 |
I think you're crazy |
| 01:03:14 |
Just like me |
| 01:03:20 |
My heroes had the heart to |
| 01:03:25 |
What the fuck?! |
| 01:03:30 |
Oh, shit. |
| 01:03:33 |
- Hey, what are you doing? |
| 01:03:36 |
Yeah. sh-shouldn't we call the fire... |
| 01:03:40 |
Shit! |
| 01:04:00 |
Mikey! |
| 01:04:03 |
Fuck. |
| 01:04:05 |
- Shit. fuck. |
| 01:04:09 |
Red Mist! |
| 01:04:19 |
Hey, man, can you hear me? |
| 01:04:25 |
Oh, jeez. |
| 01:04:34 |
Red Mist! |
| 01:04:36 |
Red mist! Where the fuck are you?! |
| 01:05:14 |
We gotta get the hell outta |
| 01:05:37 |
Holy shit. |
| 01:05:39 |
- Did you see those bodies? |
| 01:05:45 |
- Why did you save the teddy? |
| 01:05:48 |
I don't know, man. come on. |
| 01:06:03 |
Come. |
| 01:06:05 |
What the hell are you doing, Frank? |
| 01:06:07 |
You know I can't be here. |
| 01:06:09 |
That motherfucker kick-Ass burnt |
| 01:06:13 |
Gigante. |
| 01:06:13 |
Wait, wait, wait. slow |
| 01:06:16 |
You gotta help me, vic. My son |
| 01:06:21 |
They're all dead! |
| 01:06:23 |
Everybody in the warehouse is dead. |
| 01:06:26 |
- Put the gun down, Vic, it's Chris. |
| 01:06:31 |
It's not red mist you gotta |
| 01:06:33 |
No, no, no, it's not. Kick-Ass |
| 01:06:36 |
You don't have to worry about |
| 01:06:41 |
- Why, what does it do? |
| 01:06:44 |
What? |
| 01:06:44 |
God-damn it, just sit down. |
| 01:06:52 |
What are you doing? What |
| 01:06:54 |
You bought this to spy on |
| 01:06:56 |
Don't you remember? |
| 01:06:57 |
- And you put it in the warehouse? |
| 01:06:59 |
I thought it'd be cool to put the |
| 01:07:03 |
Watch. |
| 01:07:09 |
I told her, "sit on my lap, |
| 01:07:10 |
We'll talk about the |
| 01:07:16 |
- Yeah? |
| 01:07:20 |
He did very good. don't |
| 01:07:22 |
Right. |
| 01:08:38 |
Who the hell is this guy? |
| 01:08:40 |
I don't know, dad. |
| 01:08:43 |
But Kick-Ass told me we're not |
| 01:08:45 |
Maybe he knows who this guy is. |
| 01:08:49 |
I want this place locked down. |
| 01:08:52 |
Nobody comes in, nobody goes out. |
| 01:08:56 |
Not until somebody |
| 01:08:58 |
...and pulls his fucking |
| 01:09:04 |
Listen, they're on to |
| 01:09:08 |
They're on to you. |
| 01:09:09 |
I thought they were |
| 01:09:12 |
Not any more. gigante put |
| 01:09:16 |
Different superhero. |
| 01:09:17 |
In a warehouse, killing a |
| 01:09:21 |
I'm gonna guess that was you. |
| 01:09:24 |
- I killed all the cameras. |
| 01:09:27 |
...you need to get ghost, |
| 01:09:30 |
Appreciate that. |
| 01:09:36 |
Mindy... no more homework, baby doll. |
| 01:09:40 |
It's time for Frank |
| 01:09:51 |
X-Men, the Fantastic Four. |
| 01:09:54 |
Right now, I envied |
| 01:09:57 |
Everything was out of control. I |
| 01:10:01 |
You okay, buddy? you look tired. |
| 01:10:04 |
Early night tonight, maybe? |
| 01:10:06 |
And there was no-one I |
| 01:10:08 |
Dave? hello? |
| 01:10:10 |
Yeah, you bet I will. |
| 01:10:14 |
I never felt more alone. |
| 01:10:20 |
I'd always dreamed of |
| 01:10:23 |
...but this was a nightmare. |
| 01:10:30 |
It was time to stop |
| 01:10:36 |
But there was one last |
| 01:10:42 |
What's the difference between |
| 01:10:46 |
Spiderman gets the girl. |
| 01:10:56 |
Hey, I'm Kick-Ass. |
| 01:11:03 |
I'm Kick-Ass. you mail me? |
| 01:11:06 |
Please. |
| 01:11:08 |
Oh, fuck! oh, fuck! |
| 01:11:11 |
Fucking freak in a mask! |
| 01:11:13 |
- Get out of my house! |
| 01:11:15 |
All right? |
| 01:11:16 |
Oh, no, no, no, it's |
| 01:11:19 |
- I, I was only trying to surprise you, I'm sorry. |
| 01:11:22 |
What the fuck are you doing? |
| 01:11:25 |
- Because I am Kick-Ass. - |
| 01:11:28 |
And I'm also not gay. |
| 01:11:31 |
Fuck! |
| 01:11:32 |
And I'm an idiot, and a shit friend. |
| 01:11:36 |
Oh my god. |
| 01:11:37 |
I know. If it makes you feel any better, |
| 01:11:38 |
I, I don't think you can hate me any |
| 01:11:43 |
Please... |
| 01:11:46 |
...look, I'm really, really sorry. |
| 01:11:50 |
I've never met anyone who's |
| 01:11:55 |
...lovely as you. |
| 01:12:00 |
You deserve better. |
| 01:12:20 |
Dave. |
| 01:12:22 |
Yes? |
| 01:12:24 |
My mom has the burglar |
| 01:12:26 |
So you should probably use the window. |
| 01:12:34 |
Or... |
| 01:12:40 |
...or you could just stay. |
| 01:12:43 |
Stay? What like when |
| 01:12:54 |
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. |
| 01:12:58 |
Well... |
| 01:13:29 |
We gotta get over it... |
| 01:13:31 |
...on top of it and then into |
| 01:13:35 |
Daddy, I think I've found one. |
| 01:13:37 |
It's perfect and they |
| 01:13:41 |
Ah, it's 300,000 bucks. |
| 01:13:44 |
Well, can you think of anything |
| 01:13:46 |
Oh my gosh. that is cool. |
| 01:13:51 |
Yeah. |
| 01:13:53 |
Add to shopping cart. |
| 01:13:55 |
Okay. |
| 01:13:59 |
Out of Kick-Ass and Red Mist, |
| 01:14:03 |
Why are they fighting? |
| 01:14:06 |
- What do you think? |
| 01:14:08 |
But Kick-Ass is cuter. |
| 01:14:10 |
Really? |
| 01:14:10 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 01:14:12 |
I for one would definitely fuck |
| 01:14:18 |
- You would? |
| 01:14:21 |
Do you feel like checking out |
| 01:14:24 |
...where she's a shoe |
| 01:14:26 |
- we could make the next showing... |
| 01:14:31 |
Guess we're not invited. |
| 01:14:34 |
You know what? Come here. |
| 01:14:36 |
I'm gonna convert you to |
| 01:14:39 |
Suddenly I understood why superheroes |
| 01:14:44 |
I got why people didn't risk |
| 01:14:47 |
Because, for the first time in my |
| 01:14:52 |
Something to lose. |
| 01:14:56 |
Katie worried about me getting hurt, |
| 01:14:58 |
So I promised her my |
| 01:15:01 |
And the truth was I |
| 01:15:04 |
I hadn't even checked the |
| 01:15:10 |
Okay, I'm off, then. |
| 01:15:13 |
No Katie tonight? |
| 01:15:15 |
Tomorrow. Wednesday, she's got |
| 01:15:19 |
You seem like a different |
| 01:15:22 |
Your mom would have been so happy to |
| 01:15:26 |
Have a good night. |
| 01:15:39 |
Hey, baby. |
| 01:15:40 |
Hey, what's going on? |
| 01:15:42 |
I gotta do a Kick-Ass thing. |
| 01:15:44 |
What? I thought you were done with that. |
| 01:15:47 |
This is the last time. I totally swear. |
| 01:15:50 |
I worry about you. |
| 01:15:52 |
Well, I wish you wouldn't worry. |
| 01:15:54 |
I can't help it, I do because I... |
| 01:15:58 |
...I care about you a lot. |
| 01:16:03 |
I care about you a lot, too. |
| 01:16:37 |
This better be pretty serious, dude. |
| 01:16:38 |
Cos I promised my girlfriend |
| 01:16:40 |
How about both of us being dead? |
| 01:16:44 |
Dead? how? |
| 01:16:46 |
Well, it turns out those |
| 01:16:49 |
Had some bad motherfuckers for friends, |
| 01:16:52 |
There's a price on our heads, man. |
| 01:16:54 |
A price on our heads? what |
| 01:16:57 |
I'm not messing with you, dude. |
| 01:16:59 |
They trashed my place. |
| 01:17:01 |
- and you're next, okay! |
| 01:17:07 |
Shit. |
| 01:17:10 |
What do we do? |
| 01:17:14 |
Remember you mentioned that |
| 01:17:17 |
Yeah. |
| 01:17:19 |
Well, do you think they can help us? |
| 01:17:30 |
Hot chocolate... extra marshmallows. |
| 01:17:36 |
Man, that looks even cooler |
| 01:17:39 |
Child, you know that's because in the |
| 01:17:44 |
Nice job. I'm gonna |
| 01:17:47 |
Okay, baby doll. sleep tight. |
| 01:17:49 |
Thanks. |
| 01:17:51 |
- Oh, kick-ass? |
| 01:17:53 |
You go get dressed. I'll tell |
| 01:17:56 |
We'll have our hot |
| 01:17:58 |
- Okay, daddy. |
| 01:18:10 |
There you go. |
| 01:18:12 |
- Do you know where that is? |
| 01:18:15 |
Right, let's go. |
| 01:18:18 |
Shit. |
| 01:19:55 |
Okay, okay, okay. |
| 01:20:04 |
Well. here you are and... Red Mist. two. |
| 01:20:14 |
- Pleasure to meet you. |
| 01:20:17 |
Please, come in. |
| 01:20:19 |
After you. |
| 01:20:24 |
Hit girl. manners, honey. |
| 01:20:29 |
Hi, I'm hit girl. |
| 01:20:32 |
No! |
| 01:20:40 |
Your ass is mine! |
| 01:20:42 |
He's with me, he's okay. |
| 01:20:43 |
Shut the fuck up kid. your |
| 01:20:46 |
Are you shitting me? |
| 01:20:47 |
He's fine. He's with me! Let him go! |
| 01:20:50 |
Get outta here! Get |
| 01:20:53 |
Hot damn. I always wanted one of these. |
| 01:20:54 |
- Are you seriously gonna take that? |
| 01:21:02 |
If you don't get your wannabe |
| 01:21:04 |
...you're gonna have a lot |
| 01:21:05 |
That's really funny. you're so fired. |
| 01:21:07 |
Kick-Ass... |
| 01:21:08 |
Get him outta here, get him |
| 01:21:12 |
Kick-Ass, I'm sorry, I... |
| 01:21:14 |
Get in the car. get in there. |
| 01:21:29 |
You better fire this asshole. |
| 01:21:31 |
Ignore him... |
| 01:21:34 |
A bazooka? |
| 01:21:37 |
Okay. |
| 01:21:39 |
We had a fucking deal, dad, that |
| 01:21:43 |
...and all I'm asking is you let |
| 01:21:46 |
Chris, you gotta look at this |
| 01:21:50 |
I gotta send a public service |
| 01:21:52 |
...that being a superhero |
| 01:21:55 |
And the big motherfucker... |
| 01:21:57 |
...nobody knows who he is. |
| 01:21:59 |
- That's not fair. |
| 01:22:02 |
What are you gonna do to them? |
| 01:22:04 |
You really wanna be |
| 01:22:10 |
Yeah. |
| 01:22:11 |
Then sit down, shut up and watch. |
| 01:22:23 |
Frank, we're ready. enjoy the show. |
| 01:22:26 |
- Are you controlling this thing? |
| 01:22:29 |
Big brother, watch and learn. |
| 01:22:31 |
Welcome back. breaking news, |
| 01:22:33 |
A worldwide web broadcast |
| 01:22:35 |
Who calls himself Kick-Ass |
| 01:22:39 |
Rumours have it this will |
| 01:22:42 |
...that he will announce his |
| 01:22:45 |
...but as word of mouth spreads |
| 01:22:48 |
...it could be one of the most widely |
| 01:22:53 |
Where's Dave? |
| 01:22:54 |
There are no clues as yet as to |
| 01:22:56 |
Holy shit, have you guys noticed... |
| 01:22:58 |
He's with Katie, obviously. |
| 01:23:01 |
Why else would I be here? |
| 01:23:03 |
There's no idea who is behind |
| 01:23:06 |
...but we could see |
| 01:23:09 |
Dave, why didn't you tell me |
| 01:23:12 |
You're on the news. Call me. |
| 01:23:14 |
We go live to the countdown |
| 01:23:29 |
Showtime. |
| 01:23:33 |
Hello, boys and girls. now this... |
| 01:23:38 |
...well, you know who this guy is. |
| 01:23:40 |
And this guy here is Big Daddy. |
| 01:23:43 |
And these are my friends. |
| 01:23:47 |
Yeah. yeah, there |
| 01:23:51 |
Now, big daddy and kick-ass |
| 01:23:54 |
...show you why being |
| 01:23:59 |
You know what a silent 'K' is? |
| 01:24:01 |
That's when 'k' is at the beginning |
| 01:24:03 |
Of the word but you |
| 01:24:05 |
...like in the word 'knuckle-duster'. |
| 01:24:10 |
That must've hurt. let's |
| 01:24:14 |
I think it did. now in France they |
| 01:24:18 |
Baton. |
| 01:24:19 |
We got some of kick-ass's batons. |
| 01:24:22 |
Go ahead, boys. |
| 01:24:26 |
You know, in america we say |
| 01:24:32 |
Which is very good for |
| 01:24:36 |
It's also good for hitting balls. |
| 01:24:40 |
We don't do them individually... |
| 01:24:42 |
...we do them all together. |
| 01:24:44 |
Gentlemen, please. |
| 01:24:46 |
Oh, this looks very painful. |
| 01:24:52 |
Due to the distressing |
| 01:24:54 |
...we are unable to broadcast the |
| 01:24:58 |
Fuck. |
| 01:24:59 |
No, no... |
| 01:25:03 |
Despite initial speculation that |
| 01:25:06 |
...or publicity stunt, it is now clear |
| 01:25:10 |
That all signs point to the intention to |
| 01:25:12 |
Stage a live execution |
| 01:25:28 |
Even with my metal plates and |
| 01:25:32 |
...I gotta tell you... that hurt. |
| 01:25:37 |
Kerosene. yes, the silent killer. |
| 01:25:41 |
But not half as much as the idea |
| 01:25:45 |
Katie. |
| 01:25:46 |
My dad. |
| 01:25:48 |
Todd and Marty. |
| 01:25:50 |
And all the things I'd never do. |
| 01:25:52 |
Like learn to drive. |
| 01:25:55 |
Or see what me and Katie's |
| 01:25:58 |
- or find out what happened on 'Lost'. |
| 01:26:01 |
And if you think I'm gonna make it |
| 01:26:03 |
Through this since I'm |
| 01:26:07 |
...quit being such a smartass. |
| 01:26:09 |
Hell, dude, you never seen 'sin city'... |
| 01:26:12 |
...'Sunset Boulevard', |
| 01:26:15 |
And this... |
| 01:26:17 |
...for all you cavemen out there... |
| 01:26:20 |
...is fire. |
| 01:26:22 |
No. |
| 01:26:31 |
Fire. fire is good. |
| 01:26:34 |
Fire is our friend. |
| 01:26:37 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:26:45 |
Gentlemen... |
| 01:26:48 |
...time to die. |
| 01:26:56 |
What the...? |
| 01:27:02 |
- What the fuck just happened? |
| 01:27:56 |
Get the lighter! |
| 01:27:58 |
It's on the floor right |
| 01:28:06 |
I got it. |
| 01:28:22 |
No! |
| 01:28:23 |
Take cover, child! |
| 01:28:30 |
Now switch to kryptonite! |
| 01:28:34 |
Kryptonite. yeah. |
| 01:29:05 |
Go to Robin's Revenge! |
| 01:29:09 |
Robin. Robin, Robin... |
| 01:29:56 |
Show's over, motherfuckers. |
| 01:30:04 |
I think I'm in love with her, dude. |
| 01:30:06 |
She looks like she's |
| 01:30:09 |
I can wait. I solemnly |
| 01:30:13 |
That should be really |
| 01:30:17 |
Yeah. |
| 01:30:37 |
Good job. |
| 01:30:47 |
I'm so proud of you, baby doll. |
| 01:30:52 |
Are you okay? |
| 01:30:57 |
Yeah. |
| 01:31:00 |
But getting shot, daddy, it hurt |
| 01:31:05 |
That's because I used low |
| 01:31:13 |
You're the kindest |
| 01:31:16 |
No, I just... |
| 01:31:20 |
... love you. |
| 01:31:27 |
I love you, too, daddy. |
| 01:31:36 |
I love you, too, daddy. |
| 01:31:40 |
Sleep tight. |
| 01:32:00 |
What's your name? |
| 01:32:03 |
I mean your real name. |
| 01:32:05 |
A superhero never |
| 01:32:07 |
What? look, you can't go on... |
| 01:32:12 |
However you lived before... |
| 01:32:17 |
...it's over. |
| 01:32:21 |
Is there anybody else? Any family or...? |
| 01:32:24 |
Look, I can take care of myself. |
| 01:32:27 |
I saved your sorry ass. |
| 01:32:30 |
What about money? you |
| 01:32:34 |
I've got 3 million |
| 01:32:37 |
That long term enough for you? |
| 01:32:43 |
It's not all about the money. |
| 01:32:46 |
I owe you. |
| 01:32:49 |
If it wasn't for you I'd be dead. |
| 01:32:52 |
And if it wasn't for you... |
| 01:32:56 |
...my dad wouldn't be. |
| 01:33:15 |
Look... |
| 01:33:17 |
...pack up whatever you need |
| 01:33:22 |
I just need to clean my face. |
| 01:33:24 |
Just go. |
| 01:34:21 |
I meant like pyjamas |
| 01:34:24 |
You can't take that stuff to my house. |
| 01:34:26 |
You know what my dad |
| 01:34:33 |
He would have wanted me |
| 01:34:37 |
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. |
| 01:34:56 |
Is this Frank D'Amico's place? |
| 01:34:59 |
All that security. |
| 01:35:01 |
Are you crazy? |
| 01:35:03 |
My mom already died for nothing. |
| 01:35:06 |
So I'm sure as hell not gonna |
| 01:35:12 |
You can't do this on your own. |
| 01:35:15 |
Exactly. |
| 01:35:19 |
Do you wanna deal with owing my dad? |
| 01:35:23 |
Then shut the hell up |
| 01:35:35 |
Is that what I think it is? |
| 01:35:38 |
Damn straight. you better start |
| 01:35:43 |
...you're gonna be using |
| 01:35:52 |
Listen up, we got 5 minutes and |
| 01:35:56 |
And don't leave a mess. |
| 01:36:12 |
- Everything okay? |
| 01:36:17 |
I can't believe I got my |
| 01:36:19 |
You know, it's not the... |
| 01:36:25 |
Well, let her in. |
| 01:36:30 |
It's a little kid. what's |
| 01:36:37 |
Are you okay, sweetheart? |
| 01:36:39 |
I... I lost my mommy and daddy. |
| 01:36:43 |
She lost her mommy and daddy. |
| 01:36:46 |
You wanna use my cell phone? |
| 01:36:50 |
Now can you remember the number? |
| 01:37:36 |
Had I ever been a real superhero? |
| 01:37:39 |
The most I'd ever had to offer |
| 01:37:42 |
...and a slightly elevated |
| 01:37:47 |
With no power comes no responsibility. |
| 01:37:51 |
Except... |
| 01:37:54 |
...that wasn't true. |
| 01:38:44 |
- Holy shit. |
| 01:39:40 |
I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation |
| 01:39:45 |
You're living in the |
| 01:39:50 |
A girl can do what she wants to |
| 01:39:54 |
An' I don't give a damn |
| 01:40:01 |
Not me |
| 01:40:06 |
Not me |
| 01:40:08 |
God damn! |
| 01:40:11 |
Shit! |
| 01:40:21 |
What the fuck? |
| 01:40:27 |
Get in here! help me out man! |
| 01:40:34 |
Holy fuck... everybody's dead! |
| 01:40:39 |
She's behind the counter. |
| 01:40:56 |
Do you think they caught him? |
| 01:40:59 |
If they didn't, he will. |
| 01:41:02 |
- Get out there. |
| 01:41:05 |
Yeah, now. |
| 01:41:17 |
What the fuck is going on? |
| 01:41:18 |
We got her trapped. she's unarmed. |
| 01:41:20 |
So what the hell are |
| 01:41:22 |
- Go get her. |
| 01:41:25 |
I ain't got no fucking |
| 01:41:29 |
You do now. |
| 01:41:32 |
Now move! |
| 01:41:35 |
Go on. |
| 01:41:53 |
Fuck this shit. I'm getting the bazooka. |
| 01:41:59 |
Bazooka? |
| 01:42:00 |
Bazooka? |
| 01:42:02 |
It's only me, boss. |
| 01:42:17 |
Un... under control? you're grabbing |
| 01:42:23 |
Sir? |
| 01:42:26 |
Do it. |
| 01:42:49 |
I always wanted to say this... |
| 01:42:53 |
...say hello to my little friend! |
| 01:43:16 |
Glory, glory, hallelujah |
| 01:43:26 |
- His truth is... |
| 01:43:29 |
...marching on |
| 01:43:36 |
His truth is marching on |
| 01:43:55 |
Holy shit! |
| 01:44:05 |
That is one weird sounding bazooka. |
| 01:44:07 |
Stu! |
| 01:44:14 |
Fuck! |
| 01:44:25 |
Get them! |
| 01:44:36 |
Playtime's over, kid. |
| 01:44:38 |
I never play. |
| 01:44:41 |
Oh, really? |
| 01:46:01 |
Ruin my business, huh? |
| 01:46:04 |
Kill every single |
| 01:46:37 |
God, I wish I had a son like you. |
| 01:46:46 |
Time for a family reunion. |
| 01:46:49 |
Hey. |
| 01:46:51 |
Why don't you pick on |
| 01:47:13 |
- Are you okay? |
| 01:47:17 |
Time to go home. |
| 01:48:55 |
Thanks, Kick-Ass. |
| 01:48:57 |
My daddy... |
| 01:49:01 |
...he would have been |
| 01:49:14 |
Dave. |
| 01:49:16 |
- Dave Lizewski. |
| 01:49:30 |
Mindy. |
| 01:49:33 |
Mindy MacReady. |
| 01:49:52 |
- Bye-bye. |
| 01:49:56 |
Mindy moved in with Marcus and |
| 01:49:59 |
- Bye. |
| 01:50:02 |
First school she'd ever been to... |
| 01:50:03 |
On the promise that |
| 01:50:07 |
Hey. |
| 01:50:08 |
Not that she needed me to. |
| 01:50:09 |
Hey, new kid. |
| 01:50:11 |
Hi. |
| 01:50:13 |
Lunch money... now. |
| 01:50:24 |
Kick-Ass was gone but not forgotten. |
| 01:50:28 |
And my world was much safer |
| 01:50:32 |
They said I was their inspiration... |
| 01:50:35 |
But all I did was make a door into a |
| 01:50:37 |
World I dreamed about |
| 01:50:40 |
A world full of superheroes, huh? |
| 01:50:45 |
As a great man once said... |
| 01:50:50 |
..."wait till they get a load of me". |
| 01:51:09 |
Take me, I'm alive |
| 01:51:12 |
Never was a girl with a wicked mind |
| 01:51:14 |
But everything looks better |
| 01:51:19 |
I had everything |
| 01:51:21 |
Opportunities for eternity |
| 01:51:29 |
I see your eyes |
| 01:51:31 |
I can see in your eyes, your eyes |
| 01:51:37 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:51:40 |
I'll never be good enough |
| 01:51:42 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:51:45 |
And everything you love |
| 01:51:50 |
Every time I look inside your eyes |
| 01:51:57 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:52:09 |
Taste me, drink my soul |
| 01:52:11 |
Show me all the things that I shouldn't |
| 01:52:13 |
Know when there's a new moon on the rise |
| 01:52:18 |
I had everything |
| 01:52:21 |
Opportunities for eternity |
| 01:52:28 |
I see your eyes |
| 01:52:31 |
I can see in your eyes, your eyes |
| 01:52:36 |
Everything in your eyes, your eyes |
| 01:52:42 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:52:44 |
I'll never be good enough |
| 01:52:47 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:52:49 |
And everything you love |
| 01:52:54 |
And every time I look inside your eyes |
| 01:53:01 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:53:14 |
I would die for you, my love |
| 01:53:20 |
My love |
| 01:53:20 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:53:24 |
And I would die for you, my love |
| 01:53:29 |
My love |
| 01:53:31 |
We'll burn up in the light |
| 01:53:34 |
Every time I look inside your eyes |
| 01:53:39 |
I'm running in the light |
| 01:53:41 |
Look inside your eyes |
| 01:53:44 |
I'm running in the light |
| 01:53:45 |
Look inside your eyes |
| 01:53:51 |
You make me wanna die |
| 01:54:19 |
We are young |
| 01:54:21 |
We are strong |
| 01:54:23 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:54:26 |
We're not cool |
| 01:54:28 |
We are free |
| 01:54:31 |
And we're running |
| 01:54:43 |
We could rule the world |
| 01:54:45 |
On a silver platter |
| 01:54:47 |
From the wrong to the right line |
| 01:54:49 |
To the open stream |
| 01:54:51 |
With a crash and burn |
| 01:54:55 |
Turn it upside down |
| 01:54:57 |
Just you and me |
| 01:54:59 |
We are the dream |
| 01:55:01 |
No other way to be |
| 01:55:05 |
We are young |
| 01:55:07 |
We are strong |
| 01:55:09 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:55:13 |
We're not cool |
| 01:55:15 |
We are free |
| 01:55:17 |
And we're running |
| 01:55:22 |
I could change the world |
| 01:55:24 |
I can make it better |
| 01:55:26 |
Kick it up and down |
| 01:55:28 |
Take a chance on me |
| 01:55:29 |
With your fake smile |
| 01:55:31 |
And you think you're better |
| 01:55:33 |
Gonna put it down |
| 01:55:35 |
Put it at your feet |
| 01:55:38 |
No bridge to burn |
| 01:55:40 |
Nowhere to turn for me |
| 01:55:43 |
We are young |
| 01:55:45 |
We are strong |
| 01:55:47 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:55:51 |
We're not cool |
| 01:55:53 |
We are free |
| 01:55:55 |
And we're running |
| 01:55:59 |
We are young |
| 01:56:01 |
We are strong |
| 01:56:03 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:56:06 |
We're not cool |
| 01:56:08 |
We are free |
| 01:56:10 |
And we're running |
| 01:56:15 |
What do they know about us |
| 01:56:18 |
Are they thinking of somebody else |
| 01:56:22 |
Are they wondering what we might be |
| 01:56:26 |
Are they thinking of you or of me |
| 01:56:30 |
We are young |
| 01:56:31 |
We are strong |
| 01:56:33 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:56:37 |
We're not cool |
| 01:56:39 |
We are free |
| 01:56:41 |
And we're running |
| 01:56:45 |
We are young |
| 01:56:47 |
We are strong |
| 01:56:49 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:56:53 |
We're not cool |
| 01:56:54 |
We are free |
| 01:56:56 |
And we're running |
| 01:57:00 |
We are young |
| 01:57:02 |
We are strong |
| 01:57:04 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:57:08 |
We're not cool |
| 01:57:10 |
We are free |
| 01:57:12 |
And we're running |
| 01:57:16 |
We are young |
| 01:57:18 |
We are strong |
| 01:57:20 |
We're not looking for where we belong |
| 01:57:23 |
We're not cool |
| 01:57:25 |
We are free |
