|
King of Marvin Gardens The
|
| 00:00:30 |
I promised that I would tell you... |
| 00:00:35 |
why I never eat fish. |
| 00:00:42 |
When we all moved in |
| 00:00:48 |
somehow fell to me... |
| 00:00:50 |
to keep the old man's mind off of things. |
| 00:00:54 |
We would play casino |
| 00:00:59 |
He never let me win. |
| 00:01:03 |
One time he put one |
| 00:01:08 |
into my hamburger. |
| 00:01:10 |
He was a practical joker. |
| 00:01:14 |
I broke my tooth on it. |
| 00:01:21 |
On Friday evenings |
| 00:01:25 |
Every Friday. |
| 00:01:27 |
Not on religious grounds... |
| 00:01:29 |
but because Grandpa was a fish enthusiast. |
| 00:01:35 |
"Keeps you from going blind," |
| 00:01:39 |
even though the bones |
| 00:01:46 |
My brother and I would sit |
| 00:01:51 |
waiting for his terrible coughing to begin. |
| 00:01:54 |
Then one of us would be |
| 00:01:57 |
to get a flat heel of bread |
| 00:02:02 |
He'd gulp it down, and slowly |
| 00:02:07 |
and then everything would be quiet again... |
| 00:02:10 |
and we would go on with the meal |
| 00:02:25 |
One Friday my parents went out... |
| 00:02:30 |
leaving my brother and I alone... |
| 00:02:33 |
to serve ourselves and Grandfather. |
| 00:02:37 |
Mom left the fish warming on the stove - |
| 00:02:43 |
breaded sole. |
| 00:02:48 |
The bread crumbs only helped |
| 00:02:56 |
When the inevitable coughing began... |
| 00:03:02 |
my brother and I just sat... |
| 00:03:06 |
and looked at each other... |
| 00:03:08 |
not moving. |
| 00:03:15 |
Grandfather's eyes got wide. |
| 00:03:18 |
His face became contorted and red... |
| 00:03:21 |
his arms flailing about. |
| 00:03:31 |
I raced to the kitchen and back... |
| 00:03:33 |
with a flat heel of pumpernickel. |
| 00:03:36 |
Grandfather reached out for it |
| 00:03:41 |
but... |
| 00:03:44 |
I... |
| 00:03:48 |
handed it to my brother instead... |
| 00:03:51 |
and... he... |
| 00:03:55 |
back to me. |
| 00:04:02 |
Grandfather pitched... |
| 00:04:06 |
face forward onto the dining room table |
| 00:04:12 |
knocking his chair over... |
| 00:04:14 |
pulling the tablecloth... |
| 00:04:17 |
silverware, mashed potatoes... |
| 00:04:21 |
fish, stewed tomatoes |
| 00:04:25 |
all of it - |
| 00:04:27 |
on top of him. |
| 00:04:33 |
Heaped on the floor... |
| 00:04:37 |
behind the table, he... |
| 00:04:43 |
looked like the... remains... |
| 00:04:46 |
of some chaotic dinner party. |
| 00:04:56 |
My brother took the incriminating |
| 00:05:00 |
and, uh - |
| 00:05:02 |
- [Quiet Clicking] |
| 00:05:06 |
into Grandpa's fingers. |
| 00:05:11 |
[Clicking Continues] |
| 00:05:13 |
I think at that moment... |
| 00:05:15 |
my brother and I |
| 00:05:22 |
"Don't ever say a word about this," he said. |
| 00:05:26 |
"Just go to bed and pretend... |
| 00:05:30 |
that you're asleep." |
| 00:05:36 |
The next morning... |
| 00:05:39 |
my parents explained to me that, uh... |
| 00:05:43 |
Grandpa had gone away on business... |
| 00:05:47 |
and had left me a very special... |
| 00:05:52 |
kiss good-bye. |
| 00:05:55 |
[Switch Clicks] |
| 00:05:57 |
- âªâª [Classical] |
| 00:06:00 |
I'm sorry, Dave. |
| 00:06:03 |
I don't care what the story is. |
| 00:06:07 |
Anything you say. I'm sorry. |
| 00:06:22 |
- âªâª [Stops] |
| 00:06:24 |
Let's hear our theme |
| 00:06:28 |
Until Wednesday, then, |
| 00:06:30 |
and I have been your host, |
| 00:06:33 |
- âªâª [Resumes] |
| 00:06:39 |
âªâª [Continues] |
| 00:06:41 |
- Eight minutes of theme? |
| 00:06:45 |
I don't know. He said he'd call back. |
| 00:06:48 |
I'm gonna tape at home for Wednesday. |
| 00:06:51 |
Maybe for from now on. |
| 00:06:54 |
Blinking lights, urgent telephone calls. |
| 00:07:00 |
I'll mail you the cassette. |
| 00:07:02 |
Hey, Dave, you know |
| 00:07:05 |
The guy said it was an emergency. |
| 00:07:08 |
There is no emergency |
| 00:07:11 |
Yeah, I know. I know. |
| 00:07:13 |
- [Sighs] What's the difference? |
| 00:07:17 |
If you don't mind hanging around, |
| 00:07:20 |
I've got another appointment. |
| 00:07:22 |
Okay, Dave. |
| 00:07:31 |
[Coughs, Sniffles] |
| 00:07:41 |
Frank. |
| 00:07:43 |
It's not your fault. Sorry. |
| 00:07:45 |
[No Audible Dialogue] |
| 00:07:48 |
Hey, Dave! |
| 00:07:51 |
Are you gonna mail in the show or what? |
| 00:08:22 |
[Coughing] |
| 00:08:29 |
[Chattering, Laughing] |
| 00:09:02 |
[Coughing Continues] |
| 00:09:27 |
[Coughs] |
| 00:09:52 |
[Conductor] |
| 00:09:58 |
[Train Approaching] |
| 00:10:26 |
[Clinking] |
| 00:10:32 |
[Clinking] |
| 00:10:39 |
[TV: Indistinct] |
| 00:10:46 |
[Woman On TV] |
| 00:10:49 |
Down, down, up and down. |
| 00:10:53 |
Two, three, and bring it back. |
| 00:11:06 |
...helps strengthen the arch and our butt. |
| 00:11:19 |
[Mimicking Coughing] |
| 00:11:26 |
Ready. And up. Down. |
| 00:11:31 |
There are 39 stations to choose from - |
| 00:11:35 |
plus television. |
| 00:11:37 |
If you don't like my stories, |
| 00:11:42 |
Jason called. |
| 00:11:44 |
Person to person, after midnight. |
| 00:11:50 |
I gave the operator |
| 00:11:54 |
Well, he didn't get through. |
| 00:11:56 |
Oh, he'll get through. |
| 00:11:58 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:12:02 |
[Woman On TV] |
| 00:12:04 |
And I never stuck a model train |
| 00:12:09 |
It was a cricket from a Cracker Jack box. |
| 00:12:12 |
Up and bounce, bounce. |
| 00:12:28 |
[Children Chattering] |
| 00:12:35 |
What's going on? |
| 00:12:37 |
- It's your brother again. |
| 00:12:39 |
- [Coughing] |
| 00:12:42 |
- What's he want? |
| 00:12:45 |
He made me write it down. |
| 00:12:47 |
Let me see it. |
| 00:12:51 |
"Get your" - |
| 00:12:55 |
It says, "Get your ass down here fast. |
| 00:12:59 |
Where's he calling - |
| 00:13:01 |
- Where's he calling from? |
| 00:13:04 |
- Jersey. |
| 00:13:06 |
- Down at the shore. |
| 00:13:10 |
What time is it? |
| 00:13:12 |
Let me see. |
| 00:13:14 |
- 1:30. |
| 00:13:28 |
You woke me up, Jason. |
| 00:13:33 |
[Train Horn Blowing] |
| 00:13:37 |
[Man Over P.A.] Train arriving |
| 00:13:42 |
Train arriving from Philadelphia, |
| 00:13:55 |
[Steam Hissing] |
| 00:14:03 |
Welcome, Davey! |
| 00:14:07 |
We're not really ready yet. |
| 00:14:10 |
I mean, it was supposed |
| 00:14:13 |
but things don't always work out |
| 00:14:16 |
And if you love Jason - |
| 00:14:21 |
I'm Sally. |
| 00:14:23 |
I would tell you that I've |
| 00:14:25 |
but I absolutely detest clichés. |
| 00:14:29 |
Listen, I would like to see my brother. |
| 00:14:33 |
I'm sure you can understand, I'm - |
| 00:14:35 |
Oh, Davey, he was supposed to be here. |
| 00:14:38 |
David. Okay? I mean, it was nice of you |
| 00:14:43 |
but, uh, no one's |
| 00:14:46 |
Naturally you're irritated. |
| 00:14:50 |
Oh, just a minute. |
| 00:14:53 |
Fine. |
| 00:14:57 |
Make a straight line. |
| 00:15:00 |
You got the song? |
| 00:15:03 |
⪠By the sea, by the sea |
| 00:15:08 |
⪠You and me |
| 00:15:10 |
Come on, Davey. Jason's waiting. |
| 00:15:13 |
âªâª [Humming] |
| 00:15:19 |
âªâª [Humming Continues] |
| 00:15:21 |
That's all, boys. |
| 00:15:34 |
[Men Chattering, Laughing] |
| 00:15:47 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:15:52 |
- [Chattering Continues] |
| 00:15:54 |
Come on! |
| 00:16:02 |
Same old David, huh? |
| 00:16:04 |
You notice how it's Monopoly out there? |
| 00:16:08 |
Remember Boardwalk, |
| 00:16:11 |
- Go directly to jail? |
| 00:16:15 |
Don't pass go, don't collect $200. |
| 00:16:17 |
Jason, is there something I should do? |
| 00:16:21 |
Yeah. |
| 00:16:25 |
Give me your pen. |
| 00:16:28 |
I'm gonna give you an address. |
| 00:16:32 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! |
| 00:16:34 |
Give me a break! |
| 00:16:36 |
My brother's in town! All right. Wow. |
| 00:16:40 |
I'm giving you an address here. |
| 00:16:43 |
It's about a five |
| 00:16:46 |
When you get there, |
| 00:16:49 |
- Lewis. |
| 00:16:51 |
Tell him you're my brother, and I want |
| 00:16:55 |
Nothin' on the record. |
| 00:16:57 |
[Chuckles] |
| 00:16:59 |
And be... polite. |
| 00:17:01 |
Then meet me on the boardwalk. |
| 00:17:04 |
Take in the sights, look around. |
| 00:17:29 |
[Wind Whistling] |
| 00:17:35 |
- Go around the other way. |
| 00:17:39 |
I said, go around the back. |
| 00:17:56 |
What can we do for ya? |
| 00:17:58 |
Jason said, uh, |
| 00:18:03 |
- If that's okay. |
| 00:18:06 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:18:08 |
[Ringing Stops] |
| 00:18:13 |
- Have a seat in here anywhere. |
| 00:18:17 |
[Door Opens] |
| 00:18:19 |
- [Door Closes] |
| 00:18:40 |
[No Audible Dialogue] |
| 00:18:48 |
Listen, you don't have to push people. |
| 00:18:53 |
[Phone Ringing] |
| 00:19:15 |
[Ringing Continues] |
| 00:19:20 |
[Chattering Continues] |
| 00:19:26 |
- Well, can you think of more to service you now? |
| 00:19:28 |
You know I'm goin' to up and do it for ya. |
| 00:19:31 |
Well, I just wanted to tell you |
| 00:19:33 |
Well, how 'bout you just consider |
| 00:19:36 |
- Yeah, well, you know, man, |
| 00:19:39 |
- I'm not a troublemaker. I just - |
| 00:19:41 |
- I just want to say thank you. |
| 00:19:45 |
Thank you. I really mean that. |
| 00:19:48 |
I don't need thanks, |
| 00:19:51 |
Thanks. |
| 00:19:56 |
[Door Closes] |
| 00:19:58 |
You see, |
| 00:20:00 |
What's the message? |
| 00:20:03 |
Well, Jason said |
| 00:20:06 |
Gettin' to Lewis is known |
| 00:20:10 |
Well, Jason said that if Lewis knows - |
| 00:20:12 |
Right there, my boy, |
| 00:20:17 |
Jason says and Lewis knows. |
| 00:20:22 |
[Laughing] |
| 00:20:24 |
Jason says and Lewis knows. |
| 00:20:29 |
You want to change seats, |
| 00:20:32 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:20:37 |
- [Man Speaking, Indistinct] |
| 00:20:45 |
[Laughing] |
| 00:20:54 |
[Door Closes] |
| 00:21:18 |
- Wave your hands! |
| 00:21:18 |
- Wave your hands! |
| 00:21:22 |
[Cheering] |
| 00:21:38 |
[Woman] |
| 00:21:42 |
Wait! Wait for me, Gertrude! |
| 00:21:46 |
Wait for me! |
| 00:22:19 |
Well, you already met Sally. Jessica. |
| 00:22:22 |
Jessica! |
| 00:22:25 |
This is David. |
| 00:22:27 |
Hi. |
| 00:22:29 |
Hello. |
| 00:22:32 |
There it is, Davey. |
| 00:22:34 |
It's supposed to be the oldest and finest |
| 00:22:37 |
Come on, darlin'. Come on, Jess. |
| 00:22:42 |
Woodrow Wilson used to stay here. |
| 00:22:44 |
Did you know he used to live |
| 00:22:50 |
Anyway, the island's called Tiki. |
| 00:22:53 |
It's just seven miles |
| 00:22:55 |
It's the most fantastic place |
| 00:22:59 |
- Yes, dear? |
| 00:23:01 |
[Sally] |
| 00:23:04 |
âªâª [Piano, Striking Random Notes] |
| 00:23:13 |
âªâª [Continues] |
| 00:23:17 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:23:19 |
Jesus, it's really gonna be good |
| 00:23:23 |
Do you know that we haven't |
| 00:23:26 |
We haven't talked anything in years. |
| 00:23:29 |
Well, I know, |
| 00:23:32 |
is the Staebler Brothers' renaissance. |
| 00:23:35 |
I didn't forget, David. |
| 00:23:44 |
âªâª [Piano, Classical] |
| 00:23:48 |
- How are you tonight? |
| 00:23:50 |
- Oh. |
| 00:23:55 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:23:57 |
Sally, you know, we're not |
| 00:24:00 |
- You can leave some lights burning. |
| 00:24:02 |
- The bulbs must have blown. |
| 00:24:05 |
- How's about some candles? |
| 00:24:07 |
- Isnât this romantic? |
| 00:24:10 |
I'm for gettin' violins up here. |
| 00:24:12 |
Maybe it's the fuse. |
| 00:24:19 |
May I talk to Mr. Seymour, please? |
| 00:24:24 |
- Hey, Sal, bring one of those candles in here. |
| 00:24:27 |
- I can't see to piss. |
| 00:24:30 |
Mr. Seymour, |
| 00:24:34 |
We have no lights in 914. |
| 00:24:37 |
Would you? |
| 00:24:39 |
- Please, as soon as possible. |
| 00:24:42 |
Tell the man I want these lights |
| 00:24:45 |
Thank you very much. |
| 00:24:53 |
[Chuckles] |
| 00:24:53 |
[Chuckles] |
| 00:24:59 |
[Pops Lips] |
| 00:25:01 |
Blowout. |
| 00:25:03 |
Black Horse Pike, |
| 00:25:08 |
This lady, Lucy - real upset... |
| 00:25:13 |
because she's afraid that |
| 00:25:16 |
I got nothin' with Lucy. |
| 00:25:20 |
I don't have the key to Shirley's trunk. |
| 00:25:22 |
I drive her car all the time, |
| 00:25:27 |
but I never needed |
| 00:25:30 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:25:34 |
Crowbar I find on the floor - backseat. |
| 00:25:37 |
Pull it out, go outside the car... |
| 00:25:40 |
and I'm tryin' to... |
| 00:25:44 |
All of a sudden, |
| 00:25:48 |
Cops. |
| 00:25:51 |
I got to admit, let's face it, I look a little |
| 00:25:54 |
tryin' to pry open her trunk, not to mention |
| 00:25:59 |
in the front seat tryin' to hide herself |
| 00:26:03 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:26:06 |
with a big flashlight here, |
| 00:26:09 |
What have we got there, |
| 00:26:13 |
A Kleenex box filled with Swiss watches. |
| 00:26:16 |
And this bitch, Shirley... |
| 00:26:19 |
she's reported that her car |
| 00:26:23 |
[Chuckles] |
| 00:26:25 |
what you got at the train station is... |
| 00:26:30 |
You mean you'd have been there |
| 00:26:34 |
[Laughs] |
| 00:26:36 |
I'd have been there. |
| 00:26:43 |
Pathetic. |
| 00:26:45 |
Half of 'em don't even know |
| 00:26:50 |
They may wind up sitting on your jury. |
| 00:26:52 |
Jury? What are you talking about, jury? |
| 00:26:54 |
I'm telling you the whole charge |
| 00:26:57 |
It ain't even gonna get |
| 00:27:00 |
- It's some lunatic who's out in the street - |
| 00:27:02 |
totally confused, tryin' to hang my ass |
| 00:27:06 |
We got apologies in the morning. |
| 00:27:14 |
- [Barking Continues] |
| 00:27:17 |
I don't know if you ever heard about that. |
| 00:27:20 |
You wouldn't know what that was like, |
| 00:27:25 |
We've all done our time, Jason. |
| 00:27:27 |
- [Barking Continues] |
| 00:27:36 |
Isnât she beautiful? |
| 00:27:40 |
So beautiful. |
| 00:27:43 |
What do you think, David? |
| 00:27:46 |
Sure, darlin'. We'll bring her back |
| 00:27:50 |
How's that? In the meantime, |
| 00:27:53 |
You notice how it's not on most maps? |
| 00:27:55 |
It's just a dot here. |
| 00:27:57 |
But it's paradise. |
| 00:28:00 |
A kingdom. |
| 00:28:02 |
Staebleravia. |
| 00:28:04 |
- "Staebleravia"! Ya-hoo. |
| 00:28:07 |
I thought it was called Tiki. |
| 00:28:09 |
We're gonna get to rename it next month. |
| 00:28:11 |
- You can consider that your department. |
| 00:28:15 |
Don Dimbleby. |
| 00:28:18 |
I call him "Dimblewit." |
| 00:28:21 |
You understand, this is a man |
| 00:28:27 |
Then he pours six million clams |
| 00:28:31 |
before he bothers to clear |
| 00:28:34 |
Now, in an operation this large... |
| 00:28:37 |
the casino is the name of the game. |
| 00:28:39 |
I mean, that's where you stand or fall. |
| 00:28:41 |
But Dimblewit, now, you see, he thinks |
| 00:28:46 |
- âªâª [Radio: Soft Jazz] |
| 00:28:50 |
You never can. |
| 00:28:52 |
[Sally] |
| 00:28:54 |
Come here. Let me help you. |
| 00:28:56 |
Lewis - |
| 00:29:00 |
Jason? Look, honey. |
| 00:29:04 |
Up, like this... |
| 00:29:06 |
or down? |
| 00:29:11 |
If Donald Dimbleby couldn't get |
| 00:29:18 |
He could have got one, all right. |
| 00:29:24 |
See, he just insulted the wrong people. |
| 00:29:27 |
Now, I've done business |
| 00:29:30 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:29:34 |
And you can run a place this big? |
| 00:29:39 |
I don't know. |
| 00:29:42 |
And I'm not gonna try and con ya. |
| 00:29:44 |
I can only tell you, |
| 00:29:46 |
I have been in training for it, |
| 00:29:49 |
Goddamn smart money. |
| 00:29:53 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:29:56 |
But who the hell knows? |
| 00:30:01 |
[Brushing Teeth] |
| 00:30:06 |
I got it worked out so we parcel off |
| 00:30:10 |
cover our total investment. |
| 00:30:13 |
Vacation villas. |
| 00:30:19 |
We retain two thirds for free. |
| 00:30:22 |
My pal Lewis's front money. |
| 00:30:26 |
I'd cut him in for a piece of the casino. |
| 00:30:28 |
[Imitating Lewis] |
| 00:30:31 |
I don't know too much about real estate. |
| 00:30:35 |
Well, I just told you |
| 00:30:39 |
Now tell me, how does it sound? |
| 00:30:46 |
Well, it sounds fantastic, Jason. |
| 00:30:52 |
But, then, what are you worried about? |
| 00:30:54 |
Good night, Davey - |
| 00:30:56 |
- Good night. |
| 00:31:00 |
You don't think we got radio in Hawaii? |
| 00:31:04 |
Hey, we'll package your show. |
| 00:31:08 |
I'll tell you what we can do. |
| 00:31:10 |
We can syndicate you to |
| 00:31:21 |
You bunk here tonight, okay? |
| 00:31:30 |
Tell me what you're so upset about. |
| 00:31:33 |
I'll tell you whether or not it's real. |
| 00:31:45 |
Frankly, I think what you've got |
| 00:31:48 |
Not enough space to run around |
| 00:31:56 |
Hey, David? |
| 00:32:00 |
How's about we change all that? |
| 00:32:05 |
Come on. |
| 00:32:16 |
Come on. Come on. Come on. |
| 00:32:19 |
Come on. Come on! |
| 00:32:22 |
Come on! Loosen up! |
| 00:32:37 |
I'll give you goddamn Olympic games! |
| 00:32:41 |
[Coughing, Wheezing] |
| 00:32:45 |
Come on! Come on! I'm two goddamn years |
| 00:32:50 |
- [Coughing Continues] |
| 00:32:53 |
David? Yeah. |
| 00:32:57 |
- Oh! |
| 00:32:59 |
- [Groaning] |
| 00:33:02 |
Goddamn it, exercise! You look like |
| 00:33:06 |
Come on. Give me gymnastics! |
| 00:33:10 |
Look at this. |
| 00:33:15 |
- Bimbos comin' for gym class! |
| 00:33:17 |
- Bimbos comin' for gym class! |
| 00:33:20 |
- Put it in a nutshell, doll. |
| 00:33:22 |
The nutshell is, |
| 00:33:26 |
Talk the manager of the St. James |
| 00:33:28 |
Surtees is always in a grim mood. |
| 00:33:30 |
- Look, he's already called the police, Jason. |
| 00:33:34 |
- It's not funny. It's no joke. |
| 00:33:37 |
She knows that I'm |
| 00:33:39 |
Okay. Try not to go off |
| 00:33:43 |
- Absolutely. |
| 00:33:46 |
I'm only out on goddamn bail here. |
| 00:33:48 |
I mean, let's be totally serene |
| 00:33:52 |
Jason. |
| 00:33:57 |
[Panting] |
| 00:34:00 |
and the water comes out rusty. |
| 00:34:02 |
Well, the Carlton's |
| 00:34:06 |
which your brother said |
| 00:34:09 |
So Sally says, |
| 00:34:11 |
- in Jason's own hotel?" |
| 00:34:15 |
She just shoos the little peon desk clerk away. |
| 00:34:18 |
- That's really peachy. I can just see it now. |
| 00:34:20 |
Me and the cops riding up together |
| 00:34:23 |
I don't mean to cast |
| 00:34:25 |
- I mean, I'm still out on a ridiculous felony charge. |
| 00:34:28 |
And all I asked from you |
| 00:34:30 |
- Now, wait a minute. |
| 00:34:34 |
- Hey, I went to see him. |
| 00:34:36 |
otherwise the man would've |
| 00:34:38 |
- Well, the place was weird. |
| 00:34:40 |
- Hey, I waited around. What's the difference? |
| 00:34:44 |
- Guns is all I need. |
| 00:34:46 |
- I meant to tell you I'm sorry. |
| 00:34:49 |
Ain't even registered. Will you please |
| 00:34:52 |
Now, you take this... in your hand. |
| 00:34:54 |
Come on. It ain't gonna go off |
| 00:34:57 |
Jesus Christ! Great to have flesh and blood |
| 00:35:01 |
- I'm sorry about the message. |
| 00:35:03 |
- Some pastrami, coleslaw, head cheese! |
| 00:35:05 |
- Do you need me? |
| 00:35:14 |
Do you want me to carry that? |
| 00:35:19 |
Sally made Jason buy this, you know. |
| 00:35:23 |
As if anyone would dare mug Sally. |
| 00:35:31 |
David... |
| 00:35:34 |
I wish you didn't really think |
| 00:35:40 |
- Aren't you? |
| 00:35:44 |
Of course I am. |
| 00:35:47 |
We all are. |
| 00:36:07 |
- [Chattering] |
| 00:36:10 |
- bus leaving from Camden - |
| 00:36:12 |
- Hey, Charles, where's my problem? |
| 00:36:14 |
- But wait a minute. You can't go up there! |
| 00:36:17 |
[Man On P.A.] Bus leaving from Camden, |
| 00:36:21 |
Jason, how can I get dressed? |
| 00:36:25 |
[Jason] |
| 00:36:28 |
I'm standing here, |
| 00:36:32 |
and you're insulting my people? |
| 00:36:34 |
Well, you're standing there. |
| 00:36:37 |
You got a whole battalion |
| 00:36:39 |
You got a woman trapped naked in the bathtub |
| 00:36:43 |
- You missed your - |
| 00:36:45 |
- Here's your dress, darlin'. Please hurry up. |
| 00:36:48 |
What are you lookin' at? What, |
| 00:36:50 |
- I was just trying to help. |
| 00:36:53 |
You gotta take a peek around here. |
| 00:36:55 |
All right. All right. Take it easy. |
| 00:36:57 |
What do you care about |
| 00:37:00 |
- What do you care about a lady, |
| 00:37:04 |
- It's the principle, Jason. |
| 00:37:06 |
- Principle. I'm attempting - |
| 00:37:09 |
- an orderly establishment. |
| 00:37:11 |
Who are you trying to bullshit here? |
| 00:37:16 |
- Now, what's goin' on here? |
| 00:37:20 |
- You promised Lewis would sign last week. |
| 00:37:23 |
we could work out the terms |
| 00:37:25 |
You can't even produce your owners for the |
| 00:37:27 |
And waste everybody's time? You know that |
| 00:37:31 |
Of course it's a smoke screen. |
| 00:37:34 |
- Well, you got it. |
| 00:37:36 |
- to cancel that last paragraph or not? |
| 00:37:39 |
If I can't get Lewis to cancel |
| 00:37:43 |
What are we talking about here? I'm the |
| 00:37:48 |
- Yes. |
| 00:37:52 |
God Almighty! |
| 00:37:55 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:37:58 |
Right. |
| 00:38:04 |
Yes, well - |
| 00:38:08 |
Under the, uh - |
| 00:38:13 |
I'm afraid I'm still going to have to |
| 00:38:17 |
That's understood. |
| 00:38:22 |
- What is it, uh, $38.50? |
| 00:38:26 |
Okay. Here's 20. |
| 00:38:30 |
I had a hunch that, uh... |
| 00:38:33 |
we weren't talkin' "principle" here today. |
| 00:38:37 |
Hey. Hey. |
| 00:38:41 |
You're gonna make real sure my money |
| 00:38:44 |
aren't ya, hard-on? |
| 00:38:47 |
[Door Opens] |
| 00:38:56 |
If you hadn't come, |
| 00:38:59 |
dragging me out |
| 00:39:01 |
I mean, I don't want to go into a place |
| 00:39:04 |
and say, |
| 00:39:07 |
and have the cops called on me, |
| 00:39:09 |
All right. I'm not finished yet. |
| 00:39:12 |
- This water isn't hot enough. |
| 00:39:15 |
It's not steaming, Jason. It's cold! |
| 00:39:17 |
- Sally, the water is still hot. |
| 00:39:20 |
because you weren't out there |
| 00:39:23 |
Catching double pneumonia |
| 00:39:26 |
- Sally, it's all right. |
| 00:39:28 |
Could you bring |
| 00:39:30 |
- [Sally] Oh, not him! |
| 00:39:33 |
It's all right. Go ahead. |
| 00:39:35 |
[Sally] Jason, I'm just asking you |
| 00:39:37 |
in my shoes for once, |
| 00:39:40 |
How on earth do you think |
| 00:39:43 |
Poor Mommy. |
| 00:39:46 |
Poor baby. |
| 00:39:48 |
Hold it. Thank you, David. |
| 00:39:52 |
I mean, you told me that you owned |
| 00:39:55 |
You're so full of shit. |
| 00:39:57 |
What I told you was that we still |
| 00:40:00 |
You're full of shit! |
| 00:40:02 |
[Blowing] |
| 00:40:07 |
You take a bath in there sometime, |
| 00:40:09 |
Just go take one bath in there. |
| 00:40:14 |
I mean, you'd come out dirtier |
| 00:40:17 |
Just - I'm telling you, it won't even stay hot |
| 00:40:21 |
Just go in there |
| 00:40:23 |
- Go on. Shrivel your testicles. |
| 00:40:26 |
Oh, that'll do a lot of good. Terrific. |
| 00:40:28 |
I mean, it's just for a few more days, darling. |
| 00:40:32 |
Agura's flying in here Friday from Tokyo, |
| 00:40:35 |
It's 96% finalized. |
| 00:40:37 |
- Not like the St. James, darlin'. |
| 00:40:40 |
- Apple juice. |
| 00:40:42 |
- I am listening to you! |
| 00:40:45 |
that the St. James deal |
| 00:40:49 |
- Well, you didn't make that clear. |
| 00:40:51 |
But after that it doesn't matter anyway |
| 00:40:55 |
Brown as berries. |
| 00:40:58 |
We're goddamn Hawaii, babe. |
| 00:41:01 |
[Chuckling] |
| 00:41:07 |
That's funny. |
| 00:41:12 |
All I need to feel is that you're with me, |
| 00:41:16 |
Like we've got |
| 00:41:20 |
I'm still here, aren't I? |
| 00:41:22 |
Things are pretty weird |
| 00:41:25 |
[Horse Whinnying] |
| 00:41:30 |
It's not like home, huh? |
| 00:41:33 |
You were really fabulous |
| 00:41:36 |
You know, the girls, |
| 00:41:40 |
Yeah? When's all this go into effect? |
| 00:41:44 |
We'll know when it's time, won't we? |
| 00:41:48 |
Love takes time, you understand. |
| 00:41:51 |
You've read all that literature. |
| 00:42:11 |
No one reads anymore. |
| 00:42:15 |
I have been deprived my literary right... |
| 00:42:21 |
and I crave an audience. |
| 00:42:26 |
The form of the tragic autobiography |
| 00:42:32 |
or will be soon, |
| 00:42:39 |
Good-bye, written word. |
| 00:42:44 |
So I have chosen this form - |
| 00:42:49 |
radio - |
| 00:42:51 |
to author my life. |
| 00:42:54 |
Not because my life |
| 00:42:59 |
but because it is hopefully... |
| 00:43:02 |
comically unworthy. |
| 00:43:17 |
Besides... |
| 00:43:20 |
tragedy isn't Top 40. |
| 00:43:25 |
- Which is just as well. |
| 00:43:27 |
- Oh, God. I'm sorry. |
| 00:43:30 |
I didn't know anybody was in here. |
| 00:43:35 |
It's all right. I'm not doing anything. |
| 00:43:39 |
- What time is it? |
| 00:43:43 |
I - I couldn't sleep, and I was afraid if I |
| 00:43:47 |
No, no. It's fine. |
| 00:43:50 |
You should have all the time you need. |
| 00:43:54 |
- I know you're an artist. |
| 00:44:14 |
- [Jessica On Recorder] |
| 00:44:17 |
and I was afraid if I talked in there |
| 00:44:21 |
No, no. It's fine. You should |
| 00:44:27 |
- I know you're an artist. |
| 00:44:39 |
Who say now $150? |
| 00:44:43 |
175? 175, yes? 75. Hundred, $200. 200. |
| 00:44:48 |
225 and now 250. 250. Now 275. |
| 00:44:52 |
Bottom 275. Sold 250. |
| 00:44:55 |
Thank you, Henry. That was neat. |
| 00:44:57 |
Next. |
| 00:45:02 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:45:05 |
and by my accent you can |
| 00:45:08 |
And as you well know, Scottish people |
| 00:45:12 |
I love all the hustle around here. |
| 00:45:16 |
Down here, everybody's hustling all the time. |
| 00:45:20 |
Maybe you can explain to me why the tzimmis |
| 00:45:24 |
Nobody hires an auctioneer |
| 00:45:27 |
We all take five. What do you say? |
| 00:45:30 |
Pause that refreshes, boys, huh? |
| 00:45:33 |
[Man] |
| 00:45:35 |
Now, you, my brother, sit down right there |
| 00:45:47 |
- [Grunting] |
| 00:45:50 |
- [Women Screeching] |
| 00:45:52 |
- Mister, look, you give Magda back her purse |
| 00:45:56 |
- Oh, no, no. She's got it back. |
| 00:45:59 |
Come right in, ladies. |
| 00:46:04 |
2,000 years of civilized greed... |
| 00:46:06 |
has taught us to cling desperately |
| 00:46:09 |
Trust no one. |
| 00:46:12 |
What woods? |
| 00:46:15 |
- The man is sincere, Bambi. |
| 00:46:18 |
Thank you. Now, I really appreciate that. |
| 00:46:21 |
And I know that none of you expects me to |
| 00:46:25 |
but I am prepared to give you |
| 00:46:29 |
You see what we have here today? |
| 00:46:32 |
- What do you select? |
| 00:46:35 |
- Magda! |
| 00:46:39 |
Sophisticated taste from Magda, |
| 00:46:43 |
For you, Magda, 75 cents. |
| 00:46:47 |
Three quarters in my hand, |
| 00:46:50 |
You'd give me that radio for 75 cents? |
| 00:46:52 |
[Bambi] |
| 00:46:54 |
I got a clock radio here |
| 00:46:57 |
It's goin' once. It's goin' twice. |
| 00:46:59 |
I-I'd like to hear it play a minute. |
| 00:47:02 |
I'm sorry. Forgive me. |
| 00:47:05 |
- [Magda] Oh! |
| 00:47:09 |
- [All Chattering] |
| 00:47:12 |
Now, why don't you take |
| 00:47:18 |
- The other man just confused me. |
| 00:47:20 |
- Toaster? Sure. Here. |
| 00:47:23 |
- How about you take the toaster? |
| 00:47:28 |
Here's the Bulova for Dad. |
| 00:47:31 |
We don't want your money, ladies. |
| 00:47:36 |
- [All Chattering, Shouting] |
| 00:47:39 |
- [Lebowitz] Let's clear the entrance. |
| 00:47:42 |
Auction is over. |
| 00:47:46 |
[Chattering Continues] |
| 00:47:48 |
- Ah, geez. |
| 00:47:52 |
- I'm surprised they ever |
| 00:47:57 |
More like a retreat, rest home. |
| 00:47:59 |
Now wait a minute. Both of you. |
| 00:48:01 |
Look, before you call it a good day's work, |
| 00:48:05 |
Send 'em packin'. |
| 00:48:07 |
Very nice. |
| 00:48:09 |
Why be so shortsighted? Why don't you |
| 00:48:14 |
Goodwill don't balance my books. |
| 00:48:17 |
Jason, tell this schmuck about receipts. |
| 00:48:20 |
See, I got a news flash for you. |
| 00:48:23 |
with half the widows of South Jersey, and |
| 00:48:27 |
- But because merchandise |
| 00:48:31 |
Style from this schmuck, you schmuck, who |
| 00:48:35 |
Two Staeblers. |
| 00:48:38 |
Just the opposite, Mr. Lebowitz. |
| 00:48:40 |
I've been summoned here |
| 00:48:43 |
Surely even you understand that image |
| 00:48:47 |
Look. I have no time for jokes, Jason, |
| 00:48:51 |
- What are you aggravatin' me for? |
| 00:48:54 |
Here I am, goddamn reunited with my brother, |
| 00:48:57 |
Now, that's no way to do business. |
| 00:49:01 |
âªâª [Marching Band: Drums] |
| 00:49:07 |
[Whistle Blows] |
| 00:49:09 |
âªâª [Marching Band: |
| 00:49:12 |
Remember when we were kids? |
| 00:49:14 |
You were always hollering, |
| 00:49:18 |
That still goes. |
| 00:49:20 |
Don't think you got |
| 00:49:24 |
I hear these islands are |
| 00:49:28 |
[Sniffs] |
| 00:49:30 |
âªâª [Marching Band: Continues] |
| 00:50:06 |
âªâª [Fades] |
| 00:50:08 |
âªâª [Bugle Call] |
| 00:50:11 |
[Crowd Whooping] |
| 00:50:15 |
âªâª [Trumpet: Jazz] |
| 00:50:21 |
[Chattering] |
| 00:50:37 |
[Sally Laughing] |
| 00:50:40 |
[Sally And Jessica Laughing, Chattering] |
| 00:50:46 |
[Jason] |
| 00:50:48 |
[Jessica] Spread 'em apart. |
| 00:50:52 |
- [Sally] That's not funny. |
| 00:50:55 |
[Laughing Continues] |
| 00:50:58 |
- [Jason] Come on. What are you doing? |
| 00:51:06 |
- [Laughing Continues] |
| 00:51:08 |
Your aim is totally off. |
| 00:51:10 |
[Jason] Are you gonna |
| 00:51:13 |
One, two, three! |
| 00:51:17 |
[Jason] |
| 00:51:22 |
- I'm all wet. |
| 00:51:26 |
âªâª [Calliope] |
| 00:51:31 |
This could've been |
| 00:51:35 |
It was full-out class until about 1930. |
| 00:51:39 |
I tell you, you could hop a plane to Bermuda |
| 00:51:43 |
Yeah. Look at it now. |
| 00:51:49 |
Let that be a lesson to us. |
| 00:51:52 |
I promise you strict controls on Tiki. |
| 00:51:55 |
We can't ever let it go downhill. |
| 00:51:58 |
That's why I won't let anybody |
| 00:52:03 |
And no pokerino. No frozen custard. |
| 00:52:07 |
No saltwater taffy. |
| 00:52:10 |
If anybody litters, we deport 'em. |
| 00:52:14 |
[Chuckles] |
| 00:52:18 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:52:25 |
[Jason] |
| 00:52:28 |
[Bertha] |
| 00:52:31 |
So tell me, how are you doing |
| 00:52:35 |
She seems very nice. |
| 00:52:38 |
We haven't exactly gotten intimate yet. |
| 00:52:41 |
Well, you're the most fascinating man |
| 00:52:45 |
- Did she say that? |
| 00:52:48 |
[Sally] |
| 00:52:56 |
[Metal Clanking] |
| 00:53:05 |
[Clanking Continues] |
| 00:53:16 |
âªâª [Organ] |
| 00:53:16 |
âªâª [Organ] |
| 00:53:21 |
âªâª ["Steppin' Out with My Baby"] |
| 00:53:56 |
âªâª [Tempo Speeds Up] |
| 00:54:11 |
âªâª [Tempo Slows Down] |
| 00:54:32 |
âªâª [Ends] |
| 00:54:37 |
[Applause Echoing] |
| 00:54:45 |
[Applause Ends] |
| 00:54:47 |
- [Electronic Feedback] |
| 00:54:51 |
Miss Hawaii. |
| 00:54:54 |
Style and grace... |
| 00:54:57 |
and a beautiful face... |
| 00:54:59 |
from our beautiful 50th state |
| 00:55:05 |
Yes, indeed! No contest! |
| 00:55:08 |
Major discovery! |
| 00:55:10 |
Totally major discovery! |
| 00:55:14 |
She's it! |
| 00:55:17 |
This is my favorite part of the show. |
| 00:55:21 |
I'm just having a ball. |
| 00:55:23 |
âªâª [Chord] |
| 00:55:26 |
Now, I noticed in your biographical sketch... |
| 00:55:30 |
that you haven't tap-danced |
| 00:55:34 |
No, sir. Not really, sir. |
| 00:55:37 |
Ask her an interesting question, lame, |
| 00:55:41 |
I see you brought |
| 00:55:43 |
Yes, sir, I did. |
| 00:55:45 |
âªâª [Flourish] |
| 00:55:48 |
[Chuckles] |
| 00:55:51 |
Well, how 'bout that? |
| 00:55:53 |
[Electronic Feedback] |
| 00:55:56 |
Thank you. We wish you |
| 00:56:01 |
[Clears Throat] |
| 00:56:03 |
And now... |
| 00:56:06 |
comes the moment |
| 00:56:12 |
I don't envy our judges. |
| 00:56:14 |
They've had to select |
| 00:56:18 |
and the most talented contestants ever. |
| 00:56:22 |
But at last, |
| 00:56:26 |
And there she is... |
| 00:56:28 |
being crowned by last year's queen... |
| 00:56:32 |
the most beautiful girl in the world... |
| 00:56:35 |
Miss America! |
| 00:56:37 |
[Jason] |
| 00:56:40 |
You look beautiful, darlin'! |
| 00:56:42 |
Take a walk! Come on! |
| 00:56:45 |
- [Applauding] |
| 00:56:48 |
[David] |
| 00:56:50 |
⪠Miss America ⪠|
| 00:56:55 |
⪠Here she comes ⪠|
| 00:56:58 |
⪠My ideal ⪠|
| 00:57:01 |
⪠The dreams of a million girls ⪠|
| 00:57:05 |
⪠Who are more than pretty ⪠|
| 00:57:07 |
⪠May come true in Atlantic City ⪠|
| 00:57:12 |
⪠And there she is ⪠|
| 00:57:15 |
⪠Walking on air, she is ⪠|
| 00:57:19 |
- ⪠Fairest of the fair she is âªâª |
| 00:57:23 |
We're pushin' 1:00 a.m., Staebes. |
| 00:57:27 |
Sticklers! |
| 00:57:30 |
[Chuckles] Nobody down here |
| 00:57:34 |
Nobody even wants it anymore. |
| 00:57:36 |
- Jason, what's happening? I haven't finished. |
| 00:57:39 |
- [Sally] Why can't she finish? |
| 00:57:42 |
Take Miss America and her pageant |
| 00:57:45 |
- [Sally] Let her finish. |
| 00:57:48 |
- She's almost finished. |
| 00:57:51 |
[David] |
| 00:57:53 |
[David, Sally] |
| 00:57:58 |
⪠Here she comes ⪠|
| 00:58:00 |
- ⪠Our ideal ⪠|
| 00:58:04 |
- ⪠The dreams of a million girls ⪠|
| 00:58:06 |
- You got it. |
| 00:58:08 |
- ⪠Who are more than pretty ⪠|
| 00:58:11 |
- [All] ⪠In Atlantic City ⪠|
| 00:58:13 |
[Sally] |
| 00:58:17 |
[Chattering, Laughing] |
| 00:58:23 |
âªâª [Sally Humming |
| 00:58:26 |
⪠Miss America âªâª |
| 00:58:29 |
âªâª [Organ Continues] |
| 00:58:34 |
[Chattering] |
| 00:58:43 |
- [Chattering] |
| 00:58:43 |
- [Chattering] |
| 00:58:46 |
- [Jessica] That means he's ready to eat, right? |
| 00:58:49 |
- Yeah, he looks like - He looks like a good one. |
| 00:58:52 |
- Nah, but he's - |
| 00:58:55 |
- They cook better when they're that size. |
| 00:58:57 |
- Okay. We need about four |
| 00:59:02 |
[Wind Whistling] |
| 00:59:17 |
Davey, which one do you like? |
| 00:59:29 |
[Men Speaking Japanese] |
| 00:59:38 |
Forgive me. |
| 00:59:40 |
We don't want to misunderstand |
| 00:59:44 |
They live with people in the same family? |
| 00:59:47 |
Exactly. At least that's the way |
| 00:59:53 |
In one, a girl lived intimately |
| 00:59:58 |
They developed an extraordinary level |
| 01:00:02 |
[Men Speaking Japanese] |
| 01:00:05 |
She taught him to make humanoid sounds... |
| 01:00:08 |
even English language phrases. |
| 01:00:11 |
They learned to sense one another's moods... |
| 01:00:14 |
to make each other happy. |
| 01:00:16 |
Uh, please. Just how did she |
| 01:00:21 |
Well, he liked to have the skin |
| 01:00:25 |
for one thing. |
| 01:00:27 |
She eventually learned |
| 01:00:31 |
if that's what you're curious about - |
| 01:00:36 |
The point is, there are a hundred avenues |
| 01:00:41 |
We're exploring many of them. |
| 01:00:43 |
Dolphins are only one example, of course. |
| 01:00:46 |
You see, we don't believe that people today... |
| 01:00:49 |
want to spend their whole vacation... |
| 01:00:51 |
lazing on their backs in the sun. |
| 01:00:54 |
They want to bring home |
| 01:00:57 |
But no nightclub? No entertainment? |
| 01:01:00 |
Oh, I can promise you stage shows |
| 01:01:03 |
like my brother's mind. |
| 01:01:06 |
You've been listening to the man. |
| 01:01:08 |
We're not talkin' about Las Vegas. |
| 01:01:10 |
He's already booked the most fantastic |
| 01:01:15 |
Gentlemen, lady, excuse me. |
| 01:01:17 |
I - I have a splitting headache. |
| 01:01:20 |
On your way home, |
| 01:01:23 |
and then we can all have a little dessert |
| 01:01:27 |
I'm sorry. Business discussions always disturb her. |
| 01:01:31 |
It's because, um, her father talked of nothing |
| 01:01:36 |
or something like that. |
| 01:01:38 |
- [Men Chuckling] |
| 01:01:40 |
Well, we too must be |
| 01:01:43 |
Oh, nonsense. Now, come on. |
| 01:01:46 |
We'll be leaving on an early flight |
| 01:01:49 |
Most fascinating, these plans of yours. |
| 01:01:53 |
Anyhow, since we're talking |
| 01:01:57 |
perhaps we should soon |
| 01:02:07 |
You've always had this, Davey. |
| 01:02:11 |
Jason, you gave me the impression |
| 01:02:16 |
- I'm not saying - |
| 01:02:19 |
Are you trying to teach me about business? |
| 01:02:22 |
I mean, you really think that you ever |
| 01:02:26 |
[Chuckles] |
| 01:02:29 |
[Bell Dings] |
| 01:02:31 |
Listen. |
| 01:02:34 |
Those Orientals got nobody else |
| 01:02:38 |
Well, if it's such a desirable piece of property... |
| 01:02:41 |
why don't they have somebody else |
| 01:02:44 |
Because we're talking about |
| 01:02:48 |
I mean, I checked |
| 01:02:52 |
and these Orientals think |
| 01:02:55 |
Nobody'll touch it, and Dimblewit |
| 01:02:58 |
so they think that Tiki's a white elephant. |
| 01:03:03 |
Jason, even if you could sew up a down payment, |
| 01:03:06 |
Hey, don't "nightclub" me. |
| 01:03:11 |
[Sally] Oh, for God's sakes. |
| 01:03:14 |
Your brother changes his mind twice a day. |
| 01:03:16 |
Sally, if David |
| 01:03:19 |
I am welcoming the opportunity |
| 01:03:22 |
But, Jason, if somebody doesn't want something, |
| 01:03:27 |
He's never gonna understand |
| 01:03:30 |
I mean, he doesn't - |
| 01:03:33 |
He's got only one thing - |
| 01:03:40 |
[Door Locks] |
| 01:03:46 |
She's not all wrong. |
| 01:03:48 |
I mean, there is a grain of truth there. |
| 01:03:54 |
Jason, you're asking me |
| 01:03:57 |
Mm-hmm. |
| 01:04:00 |
Like two years ago, when we were gonna |
| 01:04:04 |
all expenses paid. |
| 01:04:06 |
Cook's Tours. Holland American Lines. |
| 01:04:09 |
Well, that's the perfect example. |
| 01:04:13 |
I convinced the U.S.I.A. that we are |
| 01:04:18 |
and then you gotta show up |
| 01:04:22 |
Now, look, Jason. |
| 01:04:23 |
I don't hear from you for a year and a half, and |
| 01:04:27 |
That's exactly what I'm talkin' about. |
| 01:04:32 |
Now, why not give me a chance, |
| 01:04:35 |
Suppose I do fall on my ass? |
| 01:04:38 |
My suggestion is we call it a night. |
| 01:04:41 |
If you two could hear yourselves - |
| 01:04:43 |
We could hear ourselves a whole lot better |
| 01:04:52 |
- Come on, Jessie. Let's go. |
| 01:04:58 |
No, honey. It's nighty-night, |
| 01:05:01 |
[Sighs] |
| 01:05:03 |
Now, now. Tomorrow's another day. |
| 01:05:06 |
Another day, another dollar. |
| 01:05:11 |
You're the one |
| 01:05:14 |
Why don't you just go to bed? |
| 01:05:16 |
I say you get in that bedroom right now. |
| 01:05:56 |
Jason, why don't you sleep out here tonight |
| 01:06:00 |
I think you can squeeze two |
| 01:06:04 |
[Jessica, Muffled] |
| 01:06:07 |
I'd better go. |
| 01:06:10 |
[Sally, Jessica Arguing, Indistinct] |
| 01:06:12 |
[Sighs] I've already told them |
| 01:06:18 |
"The Philosopher King," after you. |
| 01:06:22 |
[Sally] |
| 01:06:25 |
Yeah. |
| 01:06:26 |
I get to feed alfalfa to the rabbits, right? |
| 01:06:31 |
Oh, David, stuff is just gettin' |
| 01:06:36 |
[Sally] |
| 01:06:47 |
Why must you always walk away like that? |
| 01:07:01 |
I know you're afraid, David. |
| 01:07:07 |
But I don't know... |
| 01:07:10 |
what it is that makes you afraid. |
| 01:07:39 |
You'd better go to bed now. |
| 01:07:53 |
[Jason Exhales] |
| 01:07:59 |
I know. |
| 01:08:03 |
I love you too. |
| 01:08:11 |
[Door Closes] |
| 01:08:17 |
[Hammering] |
| 01:08:51 |
Good-bye to all this, huh? |
| 01:08:56 |
How deep is beauty? |
| 01:08:59 |
Skin deep. |
| 01:09:00 |
- How deep is beauty? |
| 01:09:05 |
[Chuckles] |
| 01:09:10 |
- Out goes the old, |
| 01:09:14 |
- Farewell to finery! |
| 01:09:18 |
- Tiki Hawaii! Winter is out! |
| 01:09:21 |
- Farewell! |
| 01:09:24 |
- It's all over! |
| 01:09:27 |
- Good-bye to this! |
| 01:09:28 |
- No more diets! |
| 01:09:31 |
- You throw one, I'll throw one. |
| 01:09:34 |
Three, four. |
| 01:09:36 |
- And take that too! |
| 01:09:46 |
Hey, darlin'. Where are you goin'? |
| 01:09:48 |
Sally, are you all right? |
| 01:10:00 |
There. Now we're a cooperation, huh? |
| 01:10:03 |
No more competition. Are you happy? |
| 01:10:06 |
- [Jessica Sniffling] |
| 01:10:08 |
Hey, did you want any of this stuff? |
| 01:10:12 |
Should we save something for you? |
| 01:10:16 |
Come on. This will be your hope chest, |
| 01:10:20 |
Here it is. |
| 01:10:22 |
Oh, don't. |
| 01:10:26 |
I want you to stay |
| 01:10:29 |
as long as you can, okay? |
| 01:10:31 |
Oh, you don't need this though. |
| 01:10:34 |
I mean, they're gonna have |
| 01:10:36 |
by the time you're old and... withered. |
| 01:10:41 |
Fat. |
| 01:10:43 |
Saggy-breasted. |
| 01:10:45 |
Stretch marks |
| 01:10:49 |
and your dumpy behind. |
| 01:10:51 |
Tsk. Oh. Nah, you're not gonna |
| 01:10:55 |
No. Nor this. |
| 01:10:58 |
Or this. Or this. |
| 01:11:02 |
It's all for you now, Jessie. |
| 01:11:06 |
- It's all you, honey. |
| 01:11:09 |
Hmm. |
| 01:11:10 |
I'm just along for the ride now. |
| 01:11:13 |
Isn't it funny how things change? |
| 01:11:17 |
You know? |
| 01:11:21 |
Yeah. You won't forget old Sal, |
| 01:11:24 |
You gonna forget old Sal? |
| 01:11:27 |
Hey, don't you cry. |
| 01:11:29 |
Miss America. Come on. |
| 01:11:32 |
That's good. |
| 01:11:36 |
Yes, I am. I will be your chaperone. |
| 01:11:39 |
Now - |
| 01:11:45 |
I'll wait up for you, see? |
| 01:11:47 |
I'll stay home, and I'll wait up, |
| 01:11:51 |
And every night when you come home, |
| 01:11:56 |
How about that? Huh? All right? |
| 01:12:09 |
Tame, you go first. |
| 01:12:13 |
[Glass Breaking] |
| 01:12:16 |
All right. No. |
| 01:12:20 |
You've known Sally a long time, |
| 01:12:24 |
My whole life, practically. |
| 01:12:27 |
She's my stepmother. |
| 01:12:44 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:12:47 |
It's my eye makeup. |
| 01:12:59 |
Dearly beloved, |
| 01:13:02 |
to lay sweet Maybelline |
| 01:13:07 |
That's my eyeliner... |
| 01:13:11 |
eye shadow... |
| 01:13:13 |
and eyelashes. |
| 01:13:17 |
Do you know that eyelashes |
| 01:13:21 |
They are, really. |
| 01:13:24 |
Minks. |
| 01:13:26 |
I've been walking around for 20 years |
| 01:13:35 |
[Sniffles] |
| 01:13:40 |
May I greet the morning... |
| 01:13:43 |
as I am... |
| 01:13:46 |
with my own naked face. |
| 01:13:49 |
Yes? |
| 01:13:51 |
Sally. Come on. |
| 01:13:54 |
Run some of that energy off. |
| 01:13:57 |
Come on, sweetheart. |
| 01:13:59 |
Yeah. I just wanna sit here. |
| 01:14:02 |
Sally. Please come |
| 01:14:06 |
Come on. Come on. |
| 01:14:09 |
Come on. I'll go slow. Come on. |
| 01:14:12 |
[No Audible Dialogue] |
| 01:15:22 |
âªâª [String Quartet] |
| 01:15:25 |
I never went anywhere. |
| 01:15:27 |
Never left my cabin. |
| 01:15:31 |
Except to pick up some milk and cheese |
| 01:15:36 |
Never saw anybody... |
| 01:15:39 |
except old Ma Saboski... |
| 01:15:41 |
who ran it by herself. |
| 01:15:47 |
She had a Sunday supplement... |
| 01:15:51 |
color photograph of Johnny Unitas... |
| 01:15:54 |
Scotch-taped to her wall. |
| 01:15:56 |
[Footsteps] |
| 01:16:00 |
I told myself that I had all that I needed... |
| 01:16:03 |
in the way of human companionship. |
| 01:16:10 |
But then I couldn't make it |
| 01:16:13 |
âªâª [Piano] |
| 01:16:17 |
They're gonna be down here any second. |
| 01:16:25 |
Well, we're in the middle of something, |
| 01:16:30 |
âªâª [Piano, Louder] |
| 01:16:32 |
Do you want me |
| 01:16:38 |
Look, David, there have been lots of men. |
| 01:16:47 |
At first, Sally carried me... |
| 01:16:50 |
and then I just tagged along... |
| 01:16:53 |
until I got old enough. |
| 01:16:56 |
And we went together. |
| 01:16:59 |
Sort of a package deal. |
| 01:17:04 |
That's a polite way of putting it. |
| 01:17:08 |
When my father left, she didn't |
| 01:17:18 |
That's what I mean when I talk about |
| 01:17:23 |
You mean, sleepwalking along |
| 01:17:27 |
Jessica! Jessie. |
| 01:17:34 |
Do you think that you're the only one |
| 01:17:39 |
What are you doin' down there, darlin'? |
| 01:17:42 |
Come on. Let's mule train out of here. |
| 01:17:47 |
[Approaching Footsteps] |
| 01:17:50 |
Ah, here they come. |
| 01:17:54 |
Oh. Tsk. Aren't we chichi? |
| 01:17:58 |
Aren't we "shiekery," Davey? |
| 01:18:03 |
Jess and Jase. Jase and Jess. |
| 01:18:06 |
Come on, darlin'. |
| 01:18:08 |
Are you sure |
| 01:18:13 |
Good night. |
| 01:18:19 |
- [Jason] Whoop! |
| 01:18:21 |
[Jason Laughs] |
| 01:18:35 |
[David On Tape Recorder] |
| 01:18:39 |
like white snow - |
| 01:18:46 |
[Siren Wailing In Distance] |
| 01:19:03 |
Once, while pretending to be living alone... |
| 01:19:07 |
in a cabin in the woods... |
| 01:19:10 |
it began to snow... |
| 01:19:14 |
for 11 days... |
| 01:19:16 |
and 11 nights. |
| 01:19:21 |
The end of the sixth day... |
| 01:19:25 |
I began to feel... |
| 01:19:28 |
that I was... |
| 01:19:31 |
disappearing. |
| 01:19:38 |
Shit. |
| 01:19:40 |
Edit that out, Frank. |
| 01:19:43 |
Edit that out too. |
| 01:19:47 |
Bitch. |
| 01:19:54 |
[David On Tape Recorder] |
| 01:19:58 |
that you were... uncertain... |
| 01:20:02 |
that you were |
| 01:20:08 |
that you were in a set... |
| 01:20:15 |
that all of the... |
| 01:20:18 |
things were... |
| 01:20:22 |
props... |
| 01:20:26 |
put there to stimulate you... |
| 01:20:29 |
and that you were, in fact... |
| 01:20:36 |
under observation in some... |
| 01:20:39 |
white hospital? |
| 01:20:52 |
God. Vomit. |
| 01:20:56 |
[Sighs, Mutters] |
| 01:20:59 |
Edit all that out, Frank. |
| 01:21:04 |
The roads... |
| 01:21:08 |
were impassable. |
| 01:21:11 |
The blizzard... |
| 01:21:14 |
had been falling... |
| 01:21:16 |
for eight days. |
| 01:21:19 |
- [Buzzing] |
| 01:21:23 |
- over the windowsill - |
| 01:21:27 |
enclosing the windows... |
| 01:21:31 |
cutting off all the white light. |
| 01:21:42 |
- Jesus. Start again. |
| 01:21:45 |
- Who are you? |
| 01:21:49 |
Yeah. What do you want? |
| 01:21:53 |
Hey, who - who sent you? |
| 01:21:55 |
- Hey, what is - |
| 01:21:59 |
- Ju - Just stay right there. |
| 01:22:02 |
- Yeah, no way, man. |
| 01:22:04 |
- We're just pickup and deliverymen. |
| 01:22:08 |
- We ain't goin' nowhere, right? |
| 01:22:11 |
[Clattering] |
| 01:22:14 |
[David On Tape Recorder] |
| 01:22:18 |
did it begin to decompose... |
| 01:22:33 |
into a chicken fucking sandwich. |
| 01:22:37 |
- [Sighs] |
| 01:22:39 |
[Water Dripping] |
| 01:23:16 |
Hey, wait a minute. |
| 01:23:21 |
Wait a minute, I said! |
| 01:23:23 |
I got a piece of business |
| 01:23:26 |
He's out for the evening. |
| 01:23:32 |
In that case, |
| 01:23:36 |
I'm not gonna cause you any trouble. |
| 01:23:39 |
I just want to find out a few things. |
| 01:23:42 |
As long as you ain't |
| 01:23:46 |
There are two types put me uptight - |
| 01:23:50 |
a dirty double-crosser... |
| 01:23:53 |
and a dirty trouble causer. |
| 01:23:58 |
You know what a dirty double-crosser is? |
| 01:24:03 |
That's a cat that sails |
| 01:24:07 |
and all the way back... |
| 01:24:10 |
without taking a bath for the duration. |
| 01:24:15 |
[Chuckling] |
| 01:24:17 |
Now... |
| 01:24:20 |
a dirty trouble causer... |
| 01:24:24 |
he's somethin' else again. |
| 01:24:28 |
He might be a cat |
| 01:24:32 |
with my superiors. |
| 01:24:34 |
I'm in a hurry. |
| 01:24:38 |
I hope you're cautious, |
| 01:24:42 |
Let's go. |
| 01:24:52 |
You know, you remind me of a little sweet cat |
| 01:24:57 |
Carried a little derringer around like that. |
| 01:25:02 |
One day it went off in his pants. |
| 01:25:05 |
Changed his life. |
| 01:25:09 |
I just want to forewarn you. |
| 01:25:11 |
Some cats mistakenly presume that |
| 01:25:15 |
he's on a hostile mission. |
| 01:25:32 |
Ooh. Oh. |
| 01:25:37 |
Do you wanna stay cordial? |
| 01:25:39 |
Don't ever point no weapon at me. |
| 01:25:45 |
- Okay. |
| 01:25:49 |
Move. |
| 01:25:55 |
You're not a whole lot smarter |
| 01:26:06 |
[Grunting] |
| 01:26:06 |
[Grunting] |
| 01:26:08 |
âªâª [Jazz] |
| 01:26:20 |
[People Chattering, Laughing] |
| 01:26:24 |
âªâª [Continues] |
| 01:26:26 |
[No Audible Dialogue] |
| 01:26:33 |
[Applauding, Cheering] |
| 01:26:40 |
âªâª [Continues] |
| 01:26:52 |
I was only playing with you |
| 01:26:55 |
I'm Lewis. |
| 01:26:57 |
Heard Jase talk about you many a-times. |
| 01:27:00 |
Many a-times. |
| 01:27:02 |
- You're the philosopher. |
| 01:27:05 |
An hour ago two hoodlums |
| 01:27:08 |
Yeah, I heard that. |
| 01:27:10 |
They were told to pick up |
| 01:27:13 |
Why are you after Jason? |
| 01:27:15 |
After him? |
| 01:27:20 |
You've got to be kidding. After him? |
| 01:27:24 |
Is that how come you requested |
| 01:27:27 |
Oh, I neglected to mention, |
| 01:27:31 |
- Oh, yeah? [Chuckling] |
| 01:27:35 |
- Come here. |
| 01:27:42 |
- Hey, what do they call you? |
| 01:27:45 |
I wonder why in the hell |
| 01:27:53 |
- Can't hear yourself think around here. |
| 01:28:14 |
You put Jason in jail. |
| 01:28:16 |
Why not? I kept him out enough times. |
| 01:28:19 |
Odd way to pay somebody back |
| 01:28:22 |
Pay back? |
| 01:28:24 |
You come to tell me who owes who? |
| 01:28:27 |
I had the impression that he opened up |
| 01:28:30 |
Places that you couldn't get into, |
| 01:28:33 |
like Daytona, Atlanta, New Orleans. |
| 01:28:36 |
- Places that brought you a lot of money. |
| 01:28:39 |
So I don't forget a job well done. |
| 01:28:42 |
But maybe you don't know about Hawaii. |
| 01:28:45 |
No, I know about Hawaii. |
| 01:28:47 |
You send a guy down there - You send a flunky |
| 01:28:51 |
You can't send a flunky down there. |
| 01:28:53 |
Of course he's got ideas of his own. What do |
| 01:28:57 |
That's why he's working this job for you. |
| 01:29:00 |
You think everything goes down |
| 01:29:03 |
Everything's settled over a lobster dinner? |
| 01:29:07 |
I send him on errands. |
| 01:29:11 |
- For a venture. |
| 01:29:16 |
He'll make a fortune for me. |
| 01:29:20 |
He wants to start off for himself |
| 01:29:23 |
That's all there is to that. |
| 01:29:27 |
Look, son, if Jason's tired of Atlantic City... |
| 01:29:31 |
I'll send him to Hawaii. |
| 01:29:33 |
Fine. |
| 01:29:35 |
You wanna go along, also fine. |
| 01:29:38 |
We'll buy you boys some kind |
| 01:29:42 |
[Chuckles] |
| 01:29:44 |
Maybe I know my brother |
| 01:29:49 |
One thing about him - |
| 01:29:52 |
If he insists he's still workin' for me... |
| 01:29:55 |
his ass is gonna rot in correctional |
| 01:30:01 |
[Glass Slams On Bar] |
| 01:30:06 |
[Groans] |
| 01:30:09 |
Listen, son. |
| 01:30:11 |
I'll invite him to live |
| 01:30:15 |
but no business. |
| 01:30:18 |
You I can talk to. |
| 01:30:22 |
You and me could work up |
| 01:30:27 |
Jason's no businessman. |
| 01:30:32 |
He won't listen to my opinion. |
| 01:30:37 |
I think he's an artist. |
| 01:30:41 |
[Wind Whistling] |
| 01:30:47 |
[Ship Horn Blows In Distance] |
| 01:30:58 |
[Grunts] |
| 01:31:01 |
Some pitiful shine off the streets - |
| 01:31:05 |
I was his goddamn turning point, Brother. |
| 01:31:09 |
That's right. Jason Staebler. |
| 01:31:13 |
Lewis was nickels and dimes |
| 01:31:16 |
- You're living in his suite. |
| 01:31:19 |
The man was hustling numbers |
| 01:31:22 |
I built up his entire organization. |
| 01:31:24 |
And if you think for one second, David, |
| 01:31:27 |
you're dead wrong, so forget it. |
| 01:31:30 |
Well, don't tell me. Tell the Japanese. |
| 01:31:33 |
[Door Opens] |
| 01:31:35 |
I don't want you in the shower, honey, |
| 01:31:37 |
- I'm totally packed! |
| 01:31:39 |
I don't even know why you and I |
| 01:31:41 |
because Mount Fuji-face only knows Lewis |
| 01:31:46 |
Yeah, with whose money? |
| 01:31:48 |
Oh, come on. What are you talking about? |
| 01:31:52 |
asking what they should do |
| 01:31:54 |
Thousands of 'em. I can't sleep at night. |
| 01:31:58 |
Oh, David. For Christ's sake! |
| 01:32:01 |
What are you letting us |
| 01:32:03 |
Just let me row us into shore, |
| 01:32:06 |
Close? You keep pretending |
| 01:32:08 |
He wants me out of his hair. |
| 01:32:11 |
Let Lewis clear up the phony rap. |
| 01:32:14 |
Do you realize |
| 01:32:17 |
Nothing? |
| 01:32:19 |
I've left a thousand places. |
| 01:32:23 |
You see, David, if everything |
| 01:32:26 |
then it's all a mirage. |
| 01:32:28 |
I've been knocking around this old world |
| 01:32:31 |
and I can tell you one thing right off the bat - |
| 01:32:34 |
Do you know, even my makeup kit is empty. |
| 01:32:36 |
Plan "A" busts, you switch to plan "B," |
| 01:32:41 |
And then maybe you end up with something. |
| 01:32:43 |
A lot of plans. |
| 01:32:48 |
You know, David, I think you'd be happier |
| 01:32:53 |
Every week for $110 |
| 01:32:57 |
that you have been boring me to death with |
| 01:33:01 |
What about her, Jason? |
| 01:33:03 |
Send her home from Hawaii in a basket? |
| 01:33:06 |
What are you, the consulting psychiatrist |
| 01:33:10 |
- Can't you see I'm trying to have |
| 01:33:13 |
- Now, will you get in that room |
| 01:33:16 |
- We've got a limousine, Sally. |
| 01:33:19 |
I don't care whether |
| 01:33:22 |
Just do me a favor, darling. |
| 01:33:26 |
- Mm-hmm. |
| 01:33:36 |
Look, we'll leave Sally here. |
| 01:33:38 |
Then Jessica, you and I can go together... |
| 01:33:40 |
settle the backing, |
| 01:33:43 |
You still think there's a deal! |
| 01:33:45 |
Your household is crumbling, and you're putting |
| 01:33:49 |
That's just great. You two run off with Jessie |
| 01:33:52 |
- You two pulling Jessie's titty in the hot sand. |
| 01:33:55 |
- and you are going to stand trial on Friday. |
| 01:33:58 |
- There's not gonna be a trial. |
| 01:34:00 |
- Can't you think? Huh? |
| 01:34:02 |
Now, just be quiet, will you, darlin'? |
| 01:34:06 |
It's very simple. |
| 01:34:10 |
Jason, just - Jason, are you gonna leave me? |
| 01:34:13 |
- Well, let's just drop it then. |
| 01:34:18 |
I mean, you want Jessica to stay and take care |
| 01:34:22 |
I merely thought that the girl |
| 01:34:25 |
Actually, this way it's much better, |
| 01:34:29 |
Oh, Christ, Jason! |
| 01:34:32 |
Will you open your eyes? |
| 01:34:35 |
Okay, okay. The big problem |
| 01:34:39 |
Well, isn't it? |
| 01:34:41 |
How's this? I'll shoot myself, huh? |
| 01:34:44 |
Then the three of you can run off to |
| 01:34:47 |
How's this? You just stop acting crazy |
| 01:34:49 |
- You want me to have to beg you, is that it? |
| 01:34:52 |
- That's a perfectly good solution. |
| 01:34:55 |
I'm simply telling you, get your ass |
| 01:34:59 |
Now, we've both had a bellyful of you. |
| 01:35:02 |
How's this? I'll shoot your brother David, |
| 01:35:05 |
and you can run off with Jessica, which is what |
| 01:35:09 |
- Just give me the gun. |
| 01:35:11 |
- Just give me the gun. |
| 01:35:12 |
Now, let me tell you what's number one with me. |
| 01:35:15 |
It's my brother. Now, for 30 years, David and I |
| 01:35:19 |
We finally have an opportunity. |
| 01:35:22 |
And if you think for one second |
| 01:35:25 |
with all the scene |
| 01:35:27 |
and then it's gonna be Jessica and you and me |
| 01:35:32 |
No, ma'am. Never. |
| 01:35:35 |
You wait a minute! Just a minute, you! |
| 01:35:38 |
I'll shoot you, and then your little brother |
| 01:35:42 |
- and live happily ever after! |
| 01:35:44 |
- They'll probably pin a medal on me! |
| 01:35:47 |
Your mother's gonna murder one of us. |
| 01:35:50 |
So far the only one |
| 01:35:53 |
I can see it right now. "Matron Slays Three |
| 01:36:00 |
- [Grunts] |
| 01:36:02 |
[Screaming] |
| 01:36:10 |
[Shower Running] |
| 01:36:40 |
Oh, please, go off. |
| 01:36:44 |
[Whimpers] |
| 01:36:47 |
[Sobbing] |
| 01:36:51 |
Oh. |
| 01:36:54 |
Oh. |
| 01:36:58 |
Oh. |
| 01:37:04 |
[Dog Whining] |
| 01:37:49 |
[Horn Blows] |
| 01:37:58 |
There was no way that... |
| 01:38:02 |
the middle-aged Kewpie doll |
| 01:38:04 |
that Miss America was in the cards. |
| 01:38:11 |
The dinners with - |
| 01:38:15 |
the Japanese businessmen in bibs... |
| 01:38:17 |
and... |
| 01:38:19 |
the latest come-on with Lili's dolphins... |
| 01:38:24 |
all seemed harmless. |
| 01:38:31 |
No sense in not going along |
| 01:38:35 |
and not enjoying the games... |
| 01:38:37 |
when... |
| 01:38:41 |
that's what the trip seemed to be about. |
| 01:38:46 |
No need not to speculate |
| 01:38:49 |
behind the doors... |
| 01:38:52 |
late at night when you couldn't sleep. |
| 01:38:58 |
The goals didn't seem serious for moments. |
| 01:39:03 |
Then certainly nothing more serious |
| 01:39:08 |
Maybe there even would be a trip... |
| 01:39:11 |
to blue Hawaii. |
| 01:39:18 |
I certainly didn't want to stop it. |
| 01:39:23 |
But in the fun house... |
| 01:39:27 |
how do you know who's really crazy? |
| 01:39:33 |
How do you know... |
| 01:39:35 |
that it's supposed to be you... |
| 01:39:38 |
that stops it right now? |
| 01:39:44 |
[Sobbing] |
| 01:39:52 |
The gun was... |
| 01:39:55 |
always with the water pistols. |
| 01:40:02 |
[Gasps] |
| 01:40:05 |
[Exhales] |
| 01:40:19 |
Until Wednesday... |
| 01:40:25 |
this has been your host, David Staebler. |
| 01:40:28 |
[Sniffles] |
| 01:40:31 |
The program is Etcetera. |
| 01:41:14 |
What are you looking at this for? |
| 01:41:45 |
Do you know what time it is? |
| 01:41:48 |
Don't worry about me. I'm all right. |
| 01:42:01 |
Oh, I'm sorry. |
| 01:42:04 |
It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. |
| 01:42:08 |
- Good night. |
| 01:42:15 |
[Coughing] |
| 01:42:22 |
[Coughing Continues] |
| 01:42:25 |
[Coughs, Clears Throat] |
| 01:42:27 |
[Coughing Continues] |
| 01:42:39 |
[Coughing Continues] |
