American Pie 2
|
00:00:32 |
- Sure you don't wanna go to my room? |
00:00:35 |
My roommate's already moved out. |
00:00:37 |
-all right. |
00:00:39 |
- Okay, Jim, relax. Relax. |
00:00:41 |
No strings attached, okay? |
00:00:44 |
Yeah, right. |
00:00:47 |
But you see, |
00:00:50 |
we've never even had |
00:00:53 |
- So do you not wanna do this? |
00:00:56 |
Oh, I do. Yeah. |
00:01:00 |
It's just that... |
00:01:02 |
you see, this is actually |
00:01:05 |
Well, not my first. |
00:01:08 |
since my first time. |
00:01:11 |
So, technically, |
00:01:13 |
And I don't-- |
00:01:16 |
So if I'm not up to par, |
00:01:19 |
Jim, this isn't exactly a turn-on. |
00:01:22 |
I mean, girls like a guy |
00:01:26 |
Hey, I'm confident. |
00:01:28 |
Oh, I am-- I'm absolutely, |
00:01:33 |
- Let's get naked. |
00:01:38 |
Seems like just yesterday my dad picked |
00:01:42 |
We popped a couple of beers... |
00:01:44 |
and he said, |
00:01:47 |
And today I get to say |
00:01:49 |
Honey, your speeches |
00:01:51 |
So, try and do what the kids say, |
00:01:54 |
I think I bring new meaning |
00:01:58 |
That's his dormitory up ahead. |
00:02:15 |
Turn over. |
00:02:23 |
- Can't bring alcohol in the dorms. |
00:02:26 |
Thank you, Matt. I'm just here |
00:02:30 |
- Now pin my leg up. |
00:02:32 |
Pin my leg up, like this. |
00:02:37 |
Maybe you can help |
00:02:44 |
Is that the one? No. |
00:02:45 |
There! |
00:02:50 |
Now I remember. |
00:02:53 |
I didn't do this for you. |
00:02:56 |
Thanks, dude. |
00:02:59 |
- Where's my big guy? |
00:03:06 |
-Jesus! |
00:03:08 |
- Dad, get out! |
00:03:11 |
Go, Dad! |
00:03:14 |
-Jeez! |
00:03:15 |
- I'm so sorry. |
00:03:18 |
son, I'm not embarrassed. |
00:03:19 |
I am! |
00:03:20 |
It's a perfectly normal thing |
00:03:24 |
This is human nature-- |
00:03:26 |
Son, everybody does it. Your mother |
00:03:30 |
Got your favourite. |
00:03:33 |
Honey, honey, listen. |
00:03:36 |
- Please just go! |
00:03:38 |
Honey-- |
00:03:43 |
- Hi, Mama. |
00:03:44 |
Natalie! |
00:03:46 |
I'm Jim's dad. |
00:03:47 |
You must be the parents |
00:03:49 |
I'm sorry I didn't get her name, |
00:03:52 |
because I have not been |
00:03:54 |
Natalie, get dressed! |
00:03:56 |
- Beer? |
00:03:59 |
- Thanks, Jim. Don't believe in locks? |
00:04:20 |
Hey, fuckface. |
00:04:22 |
- Mornin', dude. |
00:04:28 |
Before you go to Ann Arbor |
00:04:31 |
I wanna show you |
00:04:34 |
See what they are today, dude. |
00:04:37 |
Okay, here we go. |
00:04:43 |
- There's little hearts on her panties! |
00:04:46 |
There's little hearts on her panties! |
00:04:48 |
What the fuck, man? |
00:04:51 |
I'm disappointed in you. |
00:04:52 |
Here it is, the end of our freshman year |
00:04:55 |
One. |
00:04:57 |
You're a disgrace |
00:04:59 |
Look at the Stifmeister. |
00:05:02 |
and I'm not counting the hummer |
00:05:05 |
All right, here's a new idea |
00:05:08 |
You find a girl. |
00:05:10 |
You don't bother counting how many |
00:05:13 |
- You laugh at the people who do count. |
00:05:17 |
I'll get you a spoon |
00:05:19 |
Okay, people, notebooks closed. |
00:05:24 |
Oh, shit! |
00:05:27 |
- Are you kiddin' me? |
00:05:34 |
Yes! |
00:05:35 |
I'm never even gonna think |
00:05:38 |
Hey. How'd you do? |
00:05:40 |
- Fine. |
00:05:42 |
Can't believe I'm going abroad for summer. |
00:05:45 |
- You're gonna have a great time. |
00:05:49 |
- Did that exam blow or what? |
00:05:53 |
- Kev, what's up, man? How are you? |
00:05:55 |
Put your party hat on. |
00:05:57 |
- We got 12 weeks of immortality ahead. |
00:06:08 |
Weird. |
00:06:25 |
The one that got away, huh, son? |
00:06:35 |
Well, evidently you two... |
00:06:37 |
made quite the handsome couple |
00:06:42 |
I didn't see it. |
00:06:44 |
It was brought up |
00:06:47 |
Anyway, my point is... |
00:06:50 |
these little sexual debacles |
00:06:53 |
because you know what? |
00:06:54 |
It happens to the best of us. |
00:06:56 |
In fact... |
00:06:58 |
the first time |
00:07:01 |
got together... |
00:07:03 |
I used a condom. |
00:07:04 |
Well, she referred to it |
00:07:11 |
But I got over it. |
00:07:12 |
Anyway, keep your chin up. |
00:07:15 |
and good things will happen. |
00:07:17 |
Good to have you home, son. |
00:07:23 |
It's good to be home, Dad. |
00:07:26 |
It's gonna be nice to hit Stifler's |
00:07:29 |
- Did you get through 'em? |
00:07:32 |
Finch, how are you? |
00:07:40 |
It's Japanese. |
00:07:41 |
It means ''hello.'' |
00:07:45 |
- Finch, what happened to Latin? |
00:07:49 |
Changed majors. |
00:07:51 |
Wanted to understand |
00:07:53 |
- You got laid in an art museum? |
00:07:56 |
- And the Guggenheim with Francesca. |
00:07:59 |
And then my social-psych professor |
00:08:02 |
All right, enough. |
00:08:04 |
But I'll tell you, |
00:08:08 |
Stifler's mom. |
00:08:11 |
Stifler's mom is a goddess. |
00:08:17 |
How about some more of Stifmeister's |
00:08:20 |
This thing is like half alcohol. |
00:08:25 |
Mary, would I do that? |
00:08:27 |
- My name's Christy. |
00:08:32 |
Like it matters. |
00:08:33 |
Hey, how you doing? |
00:08:35 |
Howdy-howdy, fuckin' partners! |
00:08:37 |
Johnny C., how's it going? |
00:08:41 |
Looks like someone |
00:08:43 |
- This'll help. |
00:08:45 |
Missed you too. |
00:08:46 |
All right, everybody |
00:08:51 |
Fellas! How's it going? |
00:08:53 |
The keg's back there |
00:08:56 |
Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler |
00:09:01 |
around! |
00:09:03 |
Think about it. |
00:09:06 |
Okay, Stifler, take your shot. |
00:09:09 |
Come on, man. |
00:09:13 |
All right. |
00:09:15 |
You stupid fuck! |
00:09:18 |
- Are you Steve Stifler? |
00:09:21 |
Thank you for throwing |
00:09:23 |
- No problem. |
00:09:26 |
Well, I put the word out |
00:09:30 |
Just 'cause you fuckers don't have dicks |
00:09:36 |
- Hey, could I ask you a question? |
00:09:38 |
Is it true that Paul Finch |
00:09:44 |
Sons of bitches. |
00:09:46 |
My mom's a saint! |
00:09:49 |
The joke's on Finch! |
00:09:52 |
Hey, Carlos, Jason. |
00:09:54 |
What's goin' on? |
00:09:57 |
How was Iowa State? |
00:09:58 |
Did you see those fuckers |
00:10:02 |
Back at Stifler's. |
00:10:05 |
One difference. |
00:10:08 |
Some of these girls |
00:10:11 |
I might actually have a chance. |
00:10:14 |
Hey, I remember you. |
00:10:18 |
Do you now? |
00:10:19 |
You're that guy who blew |
00:10:24 |
Splat. ''Oh, wait, Nadia, |
00:10:28 |
- Pathetic. |
00:10:30 |
It's exactly like old times. |
00:10:35 |
- I'm gonna miss you. |
00:10:39 |
I'll call you |
00:10:42 |
Go have fun. |
00:10:44 |
Bye. |
00:10:58 |
I can't believe |
00:10:59 |
Jim, it's not a big deal. |
00:11:01 |
They toyed with my emotions. |
00:11:05 |
- Hello. Hello. |
00:11:07 |
- How are you? |
00:11:11 |
Jessica's here. |
00:11:14 |
With Vicky. |
00:11:16 |
And Vicky got hot! |
00:11:20 |
What's that supposed to mean? |
00:11:22 |
Look at her. |
00:11:24 |
- Yeah, Jim, I see her. |
00:11:28 |
I'll be right back. |
00:11:33 |
- Hey, Vic, how are you? |
00:11:35 |
- I'm okay. |
00:11:37 |
That's good. |
00:11:38 |
- It's good to hear. |
00:11:42 |
Wow. |
00:11:43 |
Well, this is about as comfortable |
00:11:46 |
And I would know. |
00:11:49 |
- I'm gonna get a drink. |
00:11:52 |
- Why is this so weird? |
00:11:55 |
See, I knew it. |
00:11:59 |
You know, and we could |
00:12:02 |
I miss you, Kev. |
00:12:07 |
Whoa. |
00:12:09 |
Friends, right? |
00:12:12 |
Yeah, right. I mean, I know you said |
00:12:17 |
I'm sorry. |
00:12:20 |
an old habit-- |
00:12:23 |
Are you sure? |
00:12:24 |
Vic, why wouldn't I wanna |
00:12:27 |
Look, we'll-- |
00:12:31 |
- Friends. |
00:12:36 |
- Ozzy, my man! |
00:12:39 |
Shake off your chains of monogamy? |
00:12:42 |
I don't think so, Stifler. |
00:12:45 |
Dumb ass. What happened to |
00:12:49 |
Nova, as in Casanova, |
00:12:51 |
- He was an idiot. |
00:12:55 |
Hey, everyone, listen up! |
00:12:58 |
Nova's back, baby... |
00:13:00 |
and he's taken the lock |
00:13:04 |
Ozzy, I'm lobbing you a softball. |
00:13:07 |
Pull out your bat |
00:13:09 |
Mandy. |
00:13:11 |
This is my friend, Oz. |
00:13:16 |
- Hi, Oz. |
00:13:18 |
Listen. I have a girlfriend. |
00:13:21 |
It was a pleasure meeting you. |
00:13:24 |
Beer out back? |
00:13:27 |
You pussy! |
00:13:39 |
Stifler's mom's room. |
00:13:56 |
How did you do |
00:14:16 |
Tantra. |
00:14:23 |
What the fuck |
00:14:25 |
-Just relax. |
00:14:27 |
-Jesus Christ! |
00:14:30 |
Come back here, |
00:14:33 |
Easy! That's enough. |
00:14:35 |
Okay, guys, we went through this |
00:14:38 |
Finch got a black eye |
00:14:40 |
'Cause he fuckin' bit me! |
00:14:42 |
You touch me, I bite. |
00:14:43 |
- You two relax and shake hands. |
00:14:50 |
I need a drink. |
00:14:52 |
Why is everybody |
00:14:55 |
-Line's too long. I ain't gonna make it. |
00:14:58 |
Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're |
00:15:02 |
- Hey, you are a god. |
00:15:04 |
If I didn't have to hold my dick 'cause |
00:15:08 |
- I'm honoured, guys. |
00:15:11 |
You must teach me. |
00:15:13 |
How? |
00:15:16 |
Look what I found, Christy. |
00:15:19 |
What a coincidence. |
00:15:24 |
I've been saving this |
00:15:28 |
for a special girl, |
00:15:32 |
- You're so sweet. |
00:15:34 |
Weird. |
00:15:37 |
- Oh, my God. |
00:15:39 |
- Maybe I should mop that up. |
00:15:41 |
No problem. |
00:15:42 |
Whoa! Whoa, hey. |
00:15:44 |
- Take it slow. Come on. |
00:15:47 |
You know, they warn us |
00:15:51 |
Now, you may be intoxicated. |
00:15:55 |
Oh, yeah. |
00:15:57 |
Are you certain that you wish |
00:16:00 |
Hey, don't count |
00:16:03 |
- I'm just playing by the rules, baby. |
00:16:07 |
That's a pretty good fucking rule. |
00:16:13 |
Dude, the line's too long. |
00:16:16 |
It's gotta happen now. |
00:16:25 |
- Clamp it off. |
00:16:28 |
- How are you? |
00:16:32 |
- How are you? |
00:16:34 |
How 'bout I give you |
00:16:37 |
Go downstairs and get us some beers? |
00:16:39 |
I've got a surprise for you. |
00:16:42 |
I'm ready. |
00:16:46 |
- You want a beer? |
00:16:52 |
Okay, go. |
00:16:57 |
This is kind of kinky, |
00:17:05 |
That's it. |
00:17:11 |
Oh, that's great! |
00:17:13 |
That's great. |
00:17:15 |
How did you get it |
00:17:21 |
I can taste the bubbles. |
00:17:26 |
Actually, I can't. |
00:17:32 |
Much better. |
00:17:37 |
Wait a second. |
00:17:38 |
- Let's go. |
00:17:43 |
Christy? |
00:17:47 |
Oh, fuck! |
00:17:52 |
Yep. Half these got |
00:17:56 |
Gotta break up another one. |
00:17:59 |
- Isn't this the Stifler house? |
00:18:02 |
- What a MILF! |
00:18:06 |
Okay, now... |
00:18:08 |
do these high school kids |
00:18:10 |
because they're at |
00:18:12 |
or are we those weird older guys... |
00:18:15 |
that try to hang out with |
00:18:18 |
No way. We're definitely |
00:18:21 |
Cops! Cops! |
00:18:24 |
Break it up. |
00:18:26 |
Let's go. |
00:18:28 |
Ostreicher, Myers. |
00:18:30 |
Welcome back. |
00:18:31 |
Where's Steve Stifler? |
00:18:39 |
I got peed on. |
00:18:43 |
No, man, |
00:18:46 |
We can't party anywhere any more. |
00:18:48 |
And things are-- |
00:18:51 |
- Getting weird? |
00:18:54 |
First summer back from college. |
00:18:56 |
Yep, things are gonna get weirder. |
00:18:59 |
- What are you talkin' about? |
00:19:03 |
lt's just what happens, |
00:19:04 |
Kev, listen. |
00:19:08 |
My friends and I knew that |
00:19:11 |
You remember my first college summer? |
00:19:15 |
We treated every day out there |
00:19:18 |
Hell of a time. We capped it |
00:19:21 |
Best ever. |
00:19:23 |
My advice is do that. |
00:19:25 |
you're gonna see the big picture. |
00:19:43 |
-She's on the phone. It's long-distance. |
00:19:46 |
- Nadia! Nadia! |
00:19:48 |
New York. Hello. |
00:19:51 |
- Here. Wait. |
00:19:53 |
Yes, I am sure to go see |
00:19:56 |
Right. and don't ride |
00:19:59 |
I know they've done wonderful things |
00:20:03 |
- Dad! |
00:20:11 |
- How was college? |
00:20:14 |
Yeah. Yeah, it was-- |
00:20:17 |
You have not forgotten |
00:20:20 |
No. I-- |
00:20:23 |
- l definitely didn't. |
00:20:26 |
I'm coming to see you |
00:20:28 |
l hope you're ready for me... |
00:20:31 |
because l have not forgotten |
00:20:35 |
- Shit. |
00:20:38 |
No, Finch, |
00:20:41 |
Nadia called me this morning. |
00:20:43 |
She's coming here at the end of |
00:20:46 |
- That's killer. |
00:20:50 |
No, not ''good thing.'' |
00:20:52 |
I'll never be able to do it. |
00:20:54 |
Nadia is gonna be expecting |
00:20:58 |
Okay, and all I'm gonna |
00:21:03 |
is rump roast. |
00:21:06 |
Come on. |
00:21:08 |
Jim, you've had experience |
00:21:10 |
Ah, yes, you would be |
00:21:12 |
the flute-fetish band geek that made me |
00:21:15 |
Yes, that's great experience. |
00:21:17 |
You just gotta |
00:21:21 |
- Brings it all together. |
00:21:23 |
She just sells her cottage |
00:21:28 |
My romantic life |
00:21:30 |
Take me out to the pasture |
00:21:33 |
Super start to a super summer, fellas. |
00:21:39 |
Guys, I got it. |
00:21:42 |
For what? |
00:21:44 |
We're moving to the lake. |
00:21:49 |
We're gonna be the shit. |
00:21:52 |
Plenty of opportunities |
00:21:55 |
Throw a huge party at the end |
00:21:58 |
Dude, that's a great idea. That way |
00:22:01 |
and we'll be able to prepare |
00:22:04 |
This is it. |
00:22:08 |
Just thought I'd say |
00:22:10 |
Hey, Mr Levenstein. |
00:22:14 |
- All packed up, I see. |
00:22:17 |
Don't worry, okay? |
00:22:19 |
Come on and give |
00:22:32 |
Keep it real, homies. |
00:22:34 |
You too, sir. |
00:22:37 |
All right, let's go. |
00:22:39 |
I've been running |
00:22:41 |
and I don't think the four of us |
00:22:44 |
- Not on summer jobs. |
00:22:48 |
So, I invited someone else. |
00:22:53 |
Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's |
00:22:57 |
Deck the halls! |
00:23:00 |
Wipe my ass and lick my balls! |
00:23:02 |
It's Stifler time, baby! |
00:23:18 |
Stifler, if you're gonna be living |
00:23:22 |
All right, you and Finch |
00:23:26 |
Kevin, Stifler's stench |
00:23:29 |
Finch, fist yourself. |
00:23:33 |
That's right, baby. |
00:23:35 |
Yeah, baby, we're here! |
00:24:04 |
- It's a palace. |
00:24:09 |
Isn't this great? |
00:24:12 |
Are you kidding me? |
00:24:29 |
This just won't do. |
00:25:03 |
Guys. |
00:25:07 |
Check this out. |
00:25:20 |
Will you idiots tell me |
00:25:29 |
Don't touch me |
00:25:31 |
''Tantric?'' |
00:25:35 |
It's a Buddhist discipline. |
00:25:36 |
You learn to channel |
00:25:41 |
When you can do that, you can have sex |
00:25:45 |
And this stuff's for real? |
00:25:46 |
It's been around for centuries. |
00:25:49 |
With tantra you can make |
00:25:51 |
feel like one giant orgasm. |
00:25:54 |
Eventually, you can sustain |
00:25:58 |
- Maybe you can teach me sometime? |
00:26:01 |
- True. |
00:26:03 |
- You can't possibly be that bad. |
00:26:06 |
No way. |
00:26:08 |
I guess there's only one person |
00:26:12 |
Oh, yeah? |
00:26:28 |
Hey, are you here for |
00:26:31 |
Guests go in the amphitheatre. |
00:26:33 |
Do you know where I could find |
00:26:35 |
Guests bring food. |
00:26:38 |
a bear came, and then the bear |
00:26:41 |
which means they shot it in the head |
00:26:44 |
You must know Michele. |
00:26:46 |
One, two, three, four. |
00:27:06 |
That's a lot of flutes. |
00:27:12 |
Good luck. Thanks. |
00:27:14 |
Good job. |
00:27:22 |
Jim. Holy potatoes! |
00:27:25 |
You're really here? |
00:27:28 |
Oh, shoot! |
00:27:29 |
We're not supposed to |
00:27:31 |
'cause this one time, here... |
00:27:34 |
this kid had these cookies-- |
00:27:36 |
Let me guess. A bear came. |
00:27:39 |
Cool. |
00:27:40 |
It's like you know |
00:27:44 |
Was that a question? |
00:27:46 |
I don't know. Maybe. |
00:27:48 |
Do you wanna answer it anyway? |
00:27:52 |
I left you like-- |
00:27:56 |
Really? |
00:27:57 |
You didn't think I was weird... |
00:28:00 |
because of the way |
00:28:02 |
Weird, no. |
00:28:05 |
Surprising, yes. |
00:28:07 |
I get nasty when I'm horny. |
00:28:10 |
That's kind of why I'm here. |
00:28:13 |
You remember, |
00:28:17 |
Wow.Jeez. |
00:28:20 |
How could I forget? |
00:28:22 |
You sucked. You didn't know |
00:28:25 |
But wasn't it fun even though |
00:28:29 |
- I'm sorry. ''Terrible?'' |
00:28:34 |
Sorry. |
00:28:35 |
I could give you |
00:28:39 |
Really? |
00:28:42 |
Shoot. Okay, wait here. |
00:28:45 |
- Yeah. |
00:28:47 |
Cool idea. |
00:28:58 |
What are you doing? |
00:29:02 |
You're all right. Here we go. You know |
00:29:06 |
Everyone's supposed to be in |
00:29:09 |
It's piss-poor to be this late. |
00:29:12 |
You can tell by the tone of my voice |
00:29:15 |
Here they are. Got him home. |
00:29:17 |
Wait a minute. |
00:29:21 |
Yeah, sure. |
00:29:22 |
Petey! |
00:29:24 |
All right. Well, always something |
00:29:27 |
We are just so thrilled to have you. |
00:29:31 |
But we are just so overjoyed... |
00:29:33 |
to have someone |
00:29:35 |
Here you go. |
00:29:37 |
Look at this. |
00:29:39 |
I know it's not yours... |
00:29:41 |
but you are going to make |
00:29:43 |
This is fantastic. |
00:29:45 |
You just own this |
00:30:06 |
What was he doing |
00:30:08 |
Who knows? |
00:30:09 |
I'll tell you something. I'm about |
00:30:19 |
Kids, entertain yourselves. |
00:30:22 |
No, no, no, Petey. |
00:30:25 |
All right, all right. |
00:30:30 |
Folks, he's just a little nervous. |
00:30:34 |
This isn't right. |
00:30:35 |
Just blow on it, kid. |
00:30:37 |
Here we go. |
00:30:50 |
Play! Do something. |
00:31:03 |
Special, my ass. |
00:31:05 |
Come on. Give the little guy |
00:31:09 |
Come on, Petey. |
00:31:14 |
Come on, honey. |
00:31:16 |
Come on, Petey. |
00:31:19 |
What the hell. |
00:31:25 |
All right! |
00:31:26 |
All right, Petey! |
00:31:31 |
Rock and roll! |
00:32:14 |
Thank you! |
00:32:18 |
Thank you, Tall Oaks. |
00:32:25 |
My name is Petey! |
00:32:28 |
Thank you! |
00:32:31 |
And I have gigantic balls! |
00:32:50 |
Not now! |
00:32:55 |
Hey, hey, hey. |
00:32:58 |
- I wanna talk to you! |
00:33:01 |
He is special. |
00:33:04 |
He's my bitch. |
00:33:08 |
Well, Michele has confirmed it. |
00:33:10 |
- I suck. |
00:33:14 |
I gotta get some practice. |
00:33:16 |
Don't worry about it. I mean, |
00:33:20 |
We plop a keg on the deck |
00:33:24 |
It's like a hummingbird feeder. |
00:33:27 |
- You think so? |
00:33:30 |
Guaranteed hotties. |
00:33:32 |
Fellas, nice pad. |
00:33:34 |
Good view, but... |
00:33:37 |
the Sherminator sensors detect |
00:33:41 |
High likelihood of |
00:33:45 |
The girls are coming. |
00:33:49 |
The Sherminator's got a point, Kev. |
00:33:52 |
Since when do you start listening |
00:33:56 |
Since he made me realize |
00:34:00 |
I mean, look around, dude. |
00:34:03 |
All right, |
00:34:05 |
Come on. |
00:34:08 |
Hey, what's up? |
00:34:10 |
You know, we're just trading |
00:34:13 |
who hooked up with who, |
00:34:15 |
So, Vicky? |
00:34:17 |
Well, there was this one guy. |
00:34:21 |
You know, there was |
00:34:24 |
three. |
00:34:25 |
Look at you. |
00:34:29 |
All right, Oz. Now that Kevin |
00:34:31 |
You haven't had the slightest bit |
00:34:34 |
Don't you fuckin' say no. |
00:34:38 |
Even if I did... |
00:34:40 |
it wouldn't be anything more |
00:34:43 |
Very uninteresting. |
00:34:46 |
How about you, Jessica? How many chicks |
00:34:49 |
Gee, wouldn't you like to know. |
00:34:52 |
Fuck yeah, I would. |
00:34:56 |
Come on, Ozzy. |
00:34:57 |
Yeah, man. Ball. |
00:34:59 |
- Hey, Vic, you wanna play? |
00:35:08 |
Where are the fuckin' females? |
00:35:10 |
Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? |
00:35:15 |
Dude, give him a break. |
00:35:18 |
Ozzy, go deep. |
00:35:20 |
- Yeah, bro. You playing? |
00:35:25 |
No, keep going. |
00:35:27 |
- What are you doin'? |
00:35:37 |
Are you okay? |
00:35:40 |
- You okay? |
00:35:50 |
Amazing. |
00:35:54 |
The Force is strong |
00:35:58 |
Whoa. |
00:36:00 |
The Sherminator detects serious heat |
00:36:04 |
Preparing to deploy beer. |
00:36:09 |
Dude, let me give you a valuable |
00:36:13 |
Drop the whole |
00:36:14 |
Please repeat previous statement. |
00:36:16 |
Look, I know your last name |
00:36:19 |
And that rhymes |
00:36:22 |
which was a big hit movie |
00:36:24 |
But you can't tell me |
00:36:28 |
System overload. |
00:36:34 |
Freak. |
00:36:37 |
Vic, hey, you guys are leaving? |
00:36:40 |
You know, we barely had a chance |
00:36:44 |
- What are you doing this weekend? |
00:36:47 |
- Cool. Let's hang out. |
00:36:49 |
- Bye, Kev. |
00:36:55 |
No, no, that's all wrong. |
00:36:58 |
Thank you. |
00:37:01 |
- So what does he mean, ''meet up''? |
00:37:04 |
grab lunch, whatever. |
00:37:05 |
I told you, we're just friends now. |
00:37:09 |
- I'm sure he understands quite well. |
00:37:12 |
Oh, no, sir. These are all |
00:37:18 |
Sure. Well, we're friends. |
00:37:20 |
But it's not like I see her |
00:37:23 |
I don't see her with a boyfriend. |
00:37:28 |
Hey, Vicky only slept with |
00:37:31 |
I mean, that like makes me 50%% |
00:37:35 |
You dipshit. |
00:37:37 |
She didn't sleep with one guy. |
00:37:41 |
What? |
00:37:42 |
When a girl tells you |
00:37:44 |
multiply it by three |
00:37:46 |
Didn't you fuckers |
00:37:52 |
He did not sleep with three girls, |
00:37:55 |
aren't gonna dance in here |
00:37:57 |
between the afros |
00:38:00 |
It's not gonna happen. |
00:38:01 |
- Kevin did not sleep with three girls. |
00:38:06 |
It's not a lie. It's an adjustment. |
00:38:08 |
- The rule of what? |
00:38:10 |
If a guy tells you how many girls he's |
00:38:13 |
Take that number and divide it by three. |
00:38:16 |
So, if Kevin's saying it's been three |
00:38:20 |
- None? |
00:38:23 |
It's an exact science, |
00:38:27 |
Ozzy, I'm happy for you. |
00:38:28 |
At least you've seen a nice bod |
00:38:31 |
Keep your fantasies to yourself. |
00:38:33 |
Dude, use your fuckin' brain. |
00:38:35 |
''I'm the American college chick. |
00:38:39 |
Your European cultural shit |
00:38:42 |
Hot Spanish guy. |
00:38:45 |
Love your ding-dong.'' |
00:38:47 |
I'm tellin' you, right now there |
00:38:51 |
- Knock it off. |
00:39:12 |
Oh, my God! |
00:39:16 |
Guys, check it out. |
00:39:19 |
Lesbians. |
00:39:21 |
Lesbians live here. |
00:39:23 |
You know, |
00:39:25 |
that it is possible for women |
00:39:29 |
Friends can hold hands. |
00:39:31 |
Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear |
00:39:34 |
- Go jerk off. |
00:39:37 |
Tantra teaches you to hold |
00:39:40 |
in anticipation |
00:39:42 |
to release it upon the world. |
00:39:45 |
I'm filling up to the brim. |
00:39:47 |
That's fucking disgusting! |
00:39:58 |
Hey, Heather. You're in! |
00:40:01 |
How's the studying going? |
00:40:03 |
I'd hardly call it studying. |
00:40:05 |
I've been going |
00:40:07 |
hanging out |
00:40:09 |
going with Pierre |
00:40:11 |
- Who's Pierre? |
00:40:14 |
He's got a girlfriend back in France, so |
00:40:17 |
That sounds cool. |
00:40:18 |
Yeah, I've overheard them |
00:40:23 |
And, well, it made me think. |
00:40:26 |
Hey, Oz, l'm reaching under my shirt |
00:40:32 |
Oz, come on. It's phone sex. |
00:40:35 |
Okay. |
00:40:39 |
I'm going over to my bed. |
00:40:43 |
and l'm lying down. |
00:40:45 |
And I'm slowly... |
00:40:48 |
reaching downstairs. |
00:40:51 |
Grab it. |
00:40:54 |
Listen, Heather, |
00:40:57 |
If we can't be with each other, |
00:41:01 |
- Right? |
00:41:03 |
Okay, here we go. |
00:41:08 |
And I'm rubbing it |
00:41:10 |
And it feels so good. |
00:41:12 |
- Yeah, me too. |
00:41:15 |
I got-- |
00:41:16 |
Call waiting. |
00:41:19 |
Shit. Hello? |
00:41:23 |
Wrong number. |
00:41:25 |
Hey. Hello. Wrong number. |
00:41:29 |
All right, look, man. I got |
00:41:32 |
and I'm trying to have sex |
00:41:36 |
Good for you, man. |
00:41:42 |
Sorry about that. |
00:41:44 |
I think you were |
00:41:47 |
Oh, yeah. |
00:41:49 |
Oh, yeah, Heather. I'm rubbing it |
00:41:54 |
Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself. |
00:41:58 |
Heather, baby. |
00:42:01 |
Why don't you tell me my dick |
00:42:03 |
Stifler, get off! |
00:42:04 |
I am getting off just listening |
00:42:08 |
- Keep going. |
00:42:10 |
Yeah, all right. |
00:42:13 |
- I love you. |
00:42:16 |
- Nice talking with you, Steven. |
00:42:21 |
Repressed. |
00:42:32 |
Check it out. |
00:42:33 |
Potential lesbians |
00:42:43 |
All right. |
00:42:45 |
I need confirmation. |
00:42:48 |
Stifler. Hey, man, |
00:42:50 |
Go get him. |
00:42:52 |
You ass. |
00:42:59 |
Shit, dude! |
00:43:04 |
Big blue rubber dicks |
00:43:08 |
- The people demand rubber dicks! |
00:43:09 |
Dildo, dildo, dildo! |
00:43:14 |
- What are you doing? |
00:43:18 |
- Where'd you get this? |
00:43:21 |
Shit! Guys, they're back. |
00:43:25 |
Stall 'em! |
00:43:28 |
Come on. Come on! |
00:43:29 |
- Come on. Come on. |
00:43:32 |
Danielle, Amber, hi. |
00:43:35 |
Just needed the paper, huh? |
00:43:40 |
- Which room? |
00:43:43 |
- I'm in a lesbian stronghold. |
00:43:46 |
- Why you asking me so many questions? |
00:43:49 |
- Maybe. |
00:43:52 |
Happy painting, boys. |
00:43:56 |
You gotta get out of there. |
00:43:58 |
Oh, shit, balls! |
00:44:04 |
- Very original, Steven. |
00:44:21 |
I can wear that |
00:44:23 |
I love that one. |
00:44:25 |
Help me zip, please. |
00:44:30 |
- Did I show you my cute pink shoes? |
00:44:34 |
They're getting naked. |
00:44:39 |
- Cute. |
00:44:48 |
Shit. She's de-pantsing. |
00:44:50 |
Oh, man. |
00:44:52 |
Wait. They can't hear us inside? |
00:44:56 |
No, man. |
00:44:59 |
This girl is so hot. |
00:45:06 |
Two possible lesbians |
00:45:08 |
Lesbians? |
00:45:11 |
Did you say lesbians? |
00:45:13 |
Hot lesbians! |
00:45:18 |
- Don't touch me. |
00:45:29 |
That better not have been |
00:45:34 |
This is not gonna fit. |
00:45:36 |
- Too big. |
00:45:42 |
Johnny West is missing. |
00:45:45 |
Maybe you kicked it |
00:45:49 |
Okay, let me look. |
00:45:51 |
Wait. Didn't you have it |
00:45:53 |
Maybe. |
00:45:58 |
Guys, get the hell |
00:46:03 |
Come on! |
00:46:04 |
- It's clear! |
00:46:12 |
They're coming back. |
00:46:19 |
I'm just so glad I found him. |
00:46:22 |
I know. |
00:46:26 |
Guys, we got nothin' |
00:46:29 |
I just remembered, I got that dildo |
00:46:35 |
Holy shit! |
00:46:38 |
Oh, my God! |
00:46:39 |
You could have asked me |
00:46:43 |
Stop it. |
00:46:46 |
- What the hell was that? |
00:46:53 |
- No 9 11 . |
00:46:55 |
- My God, it's the painting kids. |
00:46:58 |
Okay, no, no, no. |
00:47:00 |
- Look. Stifler did break in here. |
00:47:04 |
But we just followed him in |
00:47:08 |
I just wanted proof that you chicks |
00:47:15 |
You wanna mess with 'em? |
00:47:18 |
Yeah, it'll be fun. |
00:47:19 |
Let's do it. |
00:47:23 |
You guys like that? |
00:47:32 |
Ozzy, stand by for confirmation. |
00:47:37 |
That's a big 10-4 |
00:47:41 |
Sounds like your little friends |
00:47:47 |
You won't be needing this. |
00:47:51 |
Who wants me to touch Amber? |
00:47:54 |
l do, l do. |
00:47:56 |
- Who the hell is that? |
00:47:58 |
This is John... Smith. |
00:48:02 |
I'm turning off my radio now. |
00:48:06 |
Okay. |
00:48:10 |
Ass, baby. |
00:48:17 |
That's nice. |
00:48:21 |
I know. |
00:48:26 |
Excuse me? |
00:48:27 |
Yeah, I like that. |
00:48:30 |
I got some painting |
00:48:33 |
Jim, hold on. |
00:48:36 |
- What? |
00:48:38 |
And I would love |
00:48:40 |
Bravo! |
00:48:46 |
One finger on the cheek. |
00:48:49 |
We want... |
00:48:51 |
palm grasping. |
00:48:54 |
That's too much. |
00:48:56 |
You don't touch, |
00:48:58 |
- Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it. |
00:49:02 |
-Jesus Christ. |
00:49:08 |
I'm touching his ass. |
00:49:11 |
Red Leader, |
00:49:13 |
l'm touching his ass. |
00:49:16 |
Mommy! |
00:49:18 |
You can go. |
00:49:19 |
That really wasn't bad. |
00:49:21 |
- I wanna go home. |
00:49:25 |
Never mind. |
00:49:28 |
Danielle is feeling my breasts. |
00:49:33 |
No way, dude! |
00:49:35 |
Her breasts are so luscious. |
00:49:37 |
What a wonderful Christmas gift |
00:49:39 |
My nipples are so hard. |
00:49:42 |
I think I can fix these. |
00:49:50 |
Sweet Jesus. |
00:49:54 |
Your turn. |
00:49:56 |
Oh, yeah! |
00:49:58 |
No, no, no. |
00:50:01 |
Him. |
00:50:06 |
Kiss. |
00:50:08 |
Dude, no. |
00:50:10 |
- Wait. What? |
00:50:13 |
We want more. |
00:50:16 |
- You're gonna love it. |
00:50:22 |
Okay, dude. |
00:50:26 |
One, two... |
00:50:29 |
three. |
00:50:32 |
- That doesn't even count. |
00:50:34 |
- That's how you kiss your mother. |
00:50:36 |
Make it real. |
00:50:39 |
we'll do anything you want. |
00:50:42 |
Anything? |
00:50:43 |
Anything. |
00:50:47 |
- You better like it. |
00:50:50 |
I wouldn't lie. |
00:50:59 |
That is what I'm talking about. |
00:51:01 |
Kev, you can look. |
00:51:08 |
That's it. |
00:51:10 |
Where's your tongue? |
00:51:17 |
Good boys. |
00:51:18 |
- Very good. |
00:51:21 |
What? I wasn't trying! |
00:51:23 |
That's not fair! |
00:51:25 |
I wasn't trying there! |
00:51:27 |
No judgment. |
00:51:29 |
Wait a second. |
00:51:31 |
- Fuck no! |
00:51:35 |
- I kissed Jim! |
00:51:38 |
- Ladies. |
00:51:41 |
As you were. |
00:51:44 |
- Here we go. |
00:52:00 |
Them girls sound like the two |
00:52:03 |
- Honey, come on. Food's ready. |
00:52:15 |
I can't believe this. |
00:52:20 |
- Oh, God. |
00:52:23 |
Hello. |
00:52:41 |
Okay, I think that's enough now. |
00:52:43 |
- I want more. |
00:52:48 |
We're gonna get more physical |
00:52:54 |
- Hand jobs. |
00:52:58 |
Hand jobs. |
00:53:01 |
You do him. |
00:53:05 |
I'm sorry? |
00:53:06 |
- You go. |
00:53:13 |
Don't be a wimp. |
00:53:18 |
Okay. It's okay. |
00:53:20 |
I know what I have to do. |
00:53:23 |
I need to keep this party goin'. |
00:53:26 |
I'm takin' one for the team. |
00:53:29 |
Mother of God! |
00:53:31 |
Come on, you pussies! |
00:53:33 |
- I am not touching that. |
00:53:35 |
Why can't you guys |
00:53:38 |
I was the one doin' |
00:53:44 |
And now for our devoted listeners, |
00:53:50 |
Let me try that dildo. |
00:53:55 |
Now, wait just a minute. |
00:53:56 |
Stifler wanted to give |
00:53:59 |
No. Stifler wanted one from us. |
00:54:03 |
What? Bullshit. |
00:54:05 |
He did. |
00:54:07 |
Very horrible. |
00:54:08 |
You guys, you wanna |
00:54:11 |
Just watching the game, Kev. |
00:54:13 |
I just wanna |
00:54:16 |
We just did something together. |
00:54:20 |
Ho, ho, ho. |
00:54:23 |
Now, just so there's no confusion... |
00:54:26 |
Santa Porn has just brought us |
00:54:30 |
Here you go. |
00:54:32 |
All right. Here. |
00:54:34 |
And the Stifmeister's provided us |
00:54:37 |
Whack away, Jim. |
00:54:39 |
Does this stuff really |
00:54:41 |
- Oh, yeah! |
00:54:49 |
Stifmeister's palace of love-- |
00:54:51 |
straight love. |
00:54:54 |
Oh, hey. |
00:54:57 |
- How about you? |
00:54:59 |
Silence. |
00:55:00 |
I didn't really think you were gonna be |
00:55:02 |
Yeah, you're more than welcome |
00:55:04 |
Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks. |
00:55:07 |
Okay, bye. |
00:55:09 |
Stifler, was that-- |
00:55:14 |
She's coming. |
00:55:20 |
Stifler's mom is coming here. |
00:55:25 |
Efforts must be doubled. |
00:55:28 |
''Efforts must be doubled.'' |
00:55:32 |
Absolutely. |
00:55:41 |
Jenny, where'd you put |
00:55:43 |
- I think I shoved it in your box. |
00:55:45 |
Bad man. |
00:55:53 |
Jim, what are you |
00:55:55 |
Well, I thought |
00:55:57 |
You can't just |
00:56:00 |
Loo, l need your help. |
00:56:04 |
Nadia's coming back |
00:56:08 |
I don't wanna be this awkward... |
00:56:10 |
bumbling, nervous guy with her. |
00:56:13 |
I don't wanna seem |
00:56:14 |
Well, I know that feeling. |
00:56:17 |
Spend your life playing |
00:56:19 |
it doesn't exactly give you |
00:56:23 |
- I think you're pretty cool. |
00:56:30 |
Michele, why did you |
00:56:34 |
I didn't ditch you. |
00:56:38 |
Our date was over. |
00:56:40 |
I mean, did you want some... |
00:56:42 |
funky, weird, |
00:56:46 |
It's not like I wanted you to pretend |
00:56:50 |
Why would I pretend that? |
00:56:52 |
Guys do that. |
00:56:55 |
Yeah, well, |
00:56:59 |
I know. |
00:57:01 |
Okay, I'm gonna help you. |
00:57:04 |
Really? |
00:57:06 |
Yeah, I feel bad |
00:57:09 |
even though you kind of did. |
00:57:16 |
Let's just get started. |
00:57:19 |
- Now, I'm a hot girl. |
00:57:21 |
- Okay, what do you wanna do? |
00:57:24 |
No, you dingbat. |
00:57:26 |
You don't just go |
00:57:29 |
You gotta preheat the oven |
00:57:36 |
Kiss me, here. |
00:57:43 |
Good. Okay, now... |
00:57:45 |
the collarbone-- kiss. |
00:57:51 |
Good, Jim. |
00:57:54 |
You're making me wet. |
00:57:55 |
Holy shit. Really? |
00:57:57 |
No, I was just saying that |
00:58:00 |
Of course. |
00:58:22 |
Does direction matter, |
00:58:26 |
Okay, Jim, |
00:58:29 |
Your main problem is |
00:58:34 |
Do I seem uptight |
00:58:37 |
The biggest pointer |
00:58:40 |
you have to feel comfortable |
00:58:45 |
Stand up. |
00:58:47 |
Stand up. |
00:58:49 |
- Now, this is a fucked-up situation. |
00:58:53 |
- We're skipping a few chapters. |
00:58:55 |
This is good. This is good. |
00:59:01 |
- Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. |
00:59:04 |
You've got to control yourself |
00:59:08 |
I haven't even touched you yet, |
00:59:11 |
I'm sorry. |
00:59:14 |
Right, right. |
00:59:17 |
- Chairs. |
00:59:22 |
Mastodons. |
00:59:26 |
Cleaning my bathroom. |
00:59:29 |
Dung beetles. |
00:59:31 |
Okay. Now, don't freak out. |
00:59:33 |
I'm gonna do something |
00:59:36 |
Oh, that's cold! |
00:59:39 |
I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. |
00:59:42 |
Okay, I think you've just |
00:59:55 |
Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. |
01:00:04 |
Pointer-- less tongue. |
01:00:24 |
- What is it? A guest book? |
01:00:27 |
''Best thing was the blow-out |
01:00:30 |
- There he is. |
01:00:32 |
August '93.'' |
01:00:35 |
Yeah, his cottage was |
01:00:37 |
Guys, this is what |
01:00:40 |
- Something we'll always remember. |
01:00:43 |
Absolutely. |
01:00:46 |
- You go fish. |
01:00:53 |
Gin. |
01:01:43 |
What the fuck? |
01:02:22 |
''Dear Jim. |
01:02:25 |
Chicago is beautiful, |
01:02:29 |
I'm counting the days. |
01:02:35 |
Well, I wish |
01:03:04 |
- Have you been dirty? |
01:03:09 |
Do you want me to clean you? |
01:03:11 |
''Apply a few drops |
01:03:15 |
All right. |
01:03:21 |
I that a loofah, |
01:03:24 |
What the hell. |
01:03:44 |
Shit. |
01:03:50 |
God! |
01:03:52 |
I been missin' out. |
01:04:12 |
Oh, shit! |
01:04:19 |
Shit! |
01:04:26 |
- Everybody okay? |
01:04:29 |
I'm fine. |
01:04:31 |
Shut the fuck up or I'll break down |
01:04:33 |
No, don't come in here. I'm fine. |
01:04:37 |
- You sure? |
01:04:39 |
- 'Night. |
01:04:54 |
Oh, shit! |
01:05:20 |
- Poison control. |
01:05:26 |
Yeah, I kind of... |
01:05:29 |
Super Glued myself... |
01:05:30 |
to myself. |
01:05:34 |
No, no! |
01:05:36 |
Don't send an ambulance. |
01:05:38 |
Look, is there anything, you know, |
01:05:45 |
Paint thinner. |
01:06:41 |
Shit. |
01:06:49 |
Don't move! |
01:06:51 |
Hands where we can see 'em! |
01:06:54 |
Both hands! |
01:06:58 |
I can't! I can't! |
01:07:00 |
I'm glued! |
01:07:03 |
Sorry. |
01:07:04 |
Relax your hands. |
01:07:07 |
I'll take it from here, okay? |
01:07:10 |
Don't worry, Jimbo. |
01:07:12 |
Jim, this happens |
01:07:19 |
Left foot first. |
01:07:22 |
- Watch your head. |
01:07:27 |
Excuse me, sir. |
01:07:30 |
Fuck, no! |
01:07:32 |
Okay, sir, you're just gonna have |
01:07:42 |
This summer's |
01:07:59 |
Mucilage is dangerous territory... |
01:08:02 |
and I would think |
01:08:07 |
would have a warning |
01:08:11 |
I thought it was a lubricant. |
01:08:15 |
I was trying to use lubricant. |
01:08:24 |
Son, couldn't you have left |
01:08:28 |
Excuse me? |
01:08:30 |
Well, that kind of material |
01:08:33 |
Oh, well, we're sorry. |
01:08:38 |
But, you see, |
01:08:41 |
because he's having |
01:08:44 |
Thanks, Dad. |
01:08:45 |
Your opinion of his taste |
01:08:48 |
is not a priority, lady. |
01:08:52 |
It's at the bottom |
01:08:57 |
Thank you. Okay? |
01:08:59 |
My son... |
01:09:01 |
is sitting here right now... |
01:09:03 |
with his hand |
01:09:07 |
But that doesn't mean |
01:09:09 |
Because you don't have a penis! |
01:09:11 |
- Or maybe you do! |
01:09:13 |
Sorry. I'm sorry. |
01:09:15 |
You know, it just bugs me |
01:09:20 |
You know, they speak. |
01:09:28 |
- How you doin', son? |
01:09:34 |
Boy, that doesn't look |
01:09:36 |
Good job, Doctor. |
01:09:38 |
The swelling should subside |
01:09:42 |
Eight or nine-- |
01:09:45 |
Beach party's in a week. |
01:09:51 |
Doctor, my son has |
01:09:55 |
and there's a young lady coming... |
01:09:57 |
that he's been waiting to-- |
01:10:01 |
he's been waiting to get with. |
01:10:03 |
I'd tell your son to keep |
01:10:06 |
Oh, yes. Believe me, I will be |
01:10:10 |
But if his pants... |
01:10:13 |
decide to come off |
01:10:15 |
could he have |
01:10:20 |
penis? |
01:10:21 |
Okay. |
01:10:26 |
This should shave |
01:10:28 |
Oh, good. |
01:10:30 |
Thank you, Doctor. |
01:10:32 |
Jim... |
01:10:35 |
that's good news. |
01:10:38 |
This has been a good-news day, son. |
01:10:41 |
Little chilly out there. |
01:10:45 |
Well, here we are. |
01:10:48 |
You know, Jim... |
01:10:50 |
I think we should keep your mother |
01:10:53 |
I think the whole glue thing |
01:10:57 |
I don't know how I get myself |
01:11:04 |
But thanks for understanding. |
01:11:06 |
You've been really cool. |
01:11:08 |
I mean, between this and... |
01:11:10 |
you know-- |
01:11:14 |
You know, you may be |
01:11:18 |
or Jimbodinny to these guys |
01:11:21 |
I want you to know |
01:11:24 |
who still remember where |
01:11:29 |
We're awful proud of you, son. |
01:11:32 |
Thanks, Dad. |
01:11:35 |
Don't forget your penis cream. |
01:11:56 |
That was it. |
01:11:58 |
Right there. |
01:12:02 |
The fiicus, the water-- |
01:12:06 |
One more stimulant, |
01:12:10 |
Finch, stay the fuck |
01:12:14 |
That's a jizz-free fiicus. |
01:12:18 |
There he is. Morning, Jimbo. |
01:12:22 |
Oh, very colourful. |
01:12:28 |
You're the only guy I know |
01:12:35 |
Casa de Stifler. |
01:12:41 |
You're here now? |
01:12:44 |
You know, if you want to |
01:12:47 |
Okay, then. |
01:12:52 |
- Hey, Stifler, was that-- |
01:12:58 |
She's here. |
01:13:01 |
My lady has arrived. |
01:13:06 |
- I gotta prepare. |
01:13:09 |
- Great. Stifler's mom is here? |
01:13:15 |
Not unless Stifler's mom |
01:13:17 |
Moped? |
01:13:22 |
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. |
01:13:25 |
- That's Stifler's little brother. |
01:13:29 |
Pussy, man. |
01:13:31 |
Take a number. |
01:13:33 |
Gentlemen, why all the noise? |
01:13:36 |
- What is that? |
01:13:39 |
- Are you wearing a dress? |
01:13:44 |
Little brother, meet Shitbreak. |
01:13:46 |
- That's your brother? |
01:13:51 |
My lady's not coming. |
01:13:55 |
So my entire stockpile |
01:14:00 |
and I look ridiculous! |
01:14:03 |
Excuse me. |
01:14:10 |
- That didn't look too good. |
01:14:12 |
- Let's go find your room. |
01:14:20 |
I can't believe |
01:14:22 |
That only took, what, six weeks? |
01:14:25 |
So, are you alone too? |
01:14:28 |
- Yep. |
01:14:31 |
I'm all alone. |
01:14:34 |
Guess what I had in mind? |
01:14:40 |
Hey, Marco, |
01:14:43 |
- What the hell's going on over there? |
01:14:47 |
It's just my flatmates. |
01:14:49 |
I guess this is kind of |
01:14:51 |
- Yeah, I guess so. |
01:14:53 |
- I can't wait. |
01:14:55 |
Bye-bye. |
01:15:01 |
- Surprise! |
01:15:04 |
You're here? You're here. |
01:15:07 |
Jim, I got so tired |
01:15:09 |
But you're-- you're early. |
01:15:12 |
Okay. |
01:15:15 |
- I will leave. |
01:15:18 |
No. |
01:15:21 |
Don't leave. |
01:15:27 |
It's just, |
01:15:30 |
I mean, the party won't be |
01:15:36 |
I can stay here until then? |
01:15:38 |
Yeah. |
01:15:41 |
I'm gonna be right back. |
01:15:43 |
- Okay. |
01:15:46 |
who's in my room. |
01:15:50 |
all right, Ive got a plan. |
01:15:52 |
Okay. |
01:15:55 |
and you say... |
01:15:56 |
''Hello, this is Michele, |
01:15:59 |
And obviously, Nadia won't |
01:16:02 |
And then we break up |
01:16:06 |
And you're all healed |
01:16:09 |
- You're evil. |
01:16:12 |
I'm like Cupid. |
01:16:14 |
And I know how |
01:16:16 |
This is gonna be fun. |
01:16:18 |
I'm sorry I didn't |
01:16:20 |
but we just started seeing |
01:16:25 |
But I'd really love it |
01:16:28 |
I think you should stay |
01:16:31 |
Good for you, Jim. |
01:16:35 |
That's great-- |
01:16:38 |
She just loves my nipples. |
01:18:10 |
- Oh, my God. |
01:18:13 |
No. |
01:18:14 |
I'm fine. |
01:18:16 |
I might have to |
01:18:22 |
What's the big deal |
01:18:25 |
I mean, okay... |
01:18:26 |
so she's 50,000 times hotter |
01:18:30 |
but come on, it's just sex. |
01:18:33 |
Oh, no. |
01:18:34 |
You saw the thing on the Internet. |
01:18:37 |
Did it look like I might have had... |
01:18:39 |
a slight interest in Nadia then? |
01:18:43 |
Add another year to that. |
01:18:45 |
Okay. |
01:18:47 |
Hey, why don't you bring Nadia |
01:18:51 |
It'll be a cool date. |
01:18:53 |
We'll see how things go. |
01:19:00 |
Michele, you have been great. |
01:19:04 |
Thank you. |
01:19:06 |
Anytime. |
01:19:14 |
Come on. |
01:19:19 |
You ready to break up? |
01:19:21 |
You big, stupid dummy! |
01:19:23 |
Theatre is so cool! |
01:19:25 |
I don't care if you are the best lay |
01:19:29 |
- I hate your guts anyway. |
01:19:32 |
And I don't care if you did give me |
01:19:37 |
because you smell really bad. |
01:19:41 |
I smell really bad! |
01:19:43 |
Because we've been having |
01:19:46 |
and I haven't showered, |
01:19:51 |
So, don't you go being all |
01:19:55 |
because I am now impervious... |
01:19:58 |
to your unrelenting machismo |
01:20:02 |
And that includes fucking me |
01:20:13 |
We had something special. |
01:20:55 |
Vicki. Hey. |
01:20:57 |
I'm so glad you came. |
01:21:00 |
Can I help you? |
01:21:03 |
- Kevin. |
01:21:04 |
That's my date. |
01:21:21 |
You saved them all. |
01:21:23 |
How sweet. |
01:21:25 |
You don't think I'm a dork? |
01:21:30 |
Whatever you are, Jim, |
01:21:36 |
Kevin left. |
01:21:38 |
Kevin left? |
01:21:41 |
Just wandered down the beach. |
01:21:46 |
You okay, Kev? |
01:21:51 |
Wanna tell us what's up? |
01:21:55 |
Wanna feel Finch's ass? |
01:22:00 |
No, I went to say hi to Vicky... |
01:22:04 |
and she was there with a date. |
01:22:06 |
You hooked up with three girls |
01:22:09 |
Rule of three, Oz. |
01:22:17 |
I guess I was living in the past-- |
01:22:20 |
and be with Vicky, |
01:22:22 |
You remember |
01:22:25 |
You know, we made |
01:22:28 |
I guess I never took it. |
01:22:33 |
My brother said that by the end |
01:22:36 |
And I see it. |
01:22:38 |
No matter what, times change |
01:22:42 |
The problem is, |
01:22:45 |
You know, Kevin, |
01:22:47 |
I've been obsessed |
01:22:50 |
I can't have a real future with... |
01:22:52 |
other than a very kinky, |
01:22:57 |
I got to find a new goddess. |
01:23:01 |
It's gonna take patience, |
01:23:04 |
- You kinda get used to it, though, huh? |
01:23:11 |
Look, Kev, different does not |
01:23:15 |
As a matter of fact, |
01:23:18 |
Or am I gonna have to drag your ass |
01:23:22 |
I'll walk. |
01:23:39 |
You know, |
01:23:43 |
- Oh, you're sweet. |
01:23:47 |
- Oh. Thanks. |
01:23:50 |
- Wanna fuck? |
01:23:53 |
Come on, baby. |
01:23:56 |
- I think you better-- |
01:23:59 |
Wow. You know, |
01:24:02 |
Come here, dude. |
01:24:06 |
You're ruining my mojo. |
01:24:09 |
It takes years to develop |
01:24:11 |
Come on, man! |
01:24:15 |
- Hey, Pop Tart. |
01:24:16 |
Excuse him. Come here. |
01:24:20 |
Go out in the driveway. |
01:24:23 |
All right. |
01:24:34 |
Gentlemen, |
01:24:41 |
Guys, if you'll excuse me, |
01:24:44 |
Good luck. |
01:24:49 |
So what was this year like for you? |
01:24:51 |
Did you miss high school? |
01:24:53 |
Well, no. |
01:24:55 |
When you travel as much as I do, |
01:25:00 |
But I have great memories. |
01:25:06 |
- Wow, can we go in there? |
01:25:12 |
Yes. |
01:25:14 |
Yes, we can. |
01:25:16 |
How romantic. |
01:25:20 |
Jim, come on. |
01:25:37 |
It's beautiful! |
01:25:41 |
Cool! |
01:25:45 |
Jim, I have told you |
01:25:49 |
What are yours? |
01:25:56 |
You. |
01:25:57 |
You have not changed. |
01:26:04 |
Jim, relax. |
01:26:07 |
We are just, how do you say, |
01:26:12 |
Actually, |
01:26:14 |
What do you mean? |
01:26:16 |
Well, this one time |
01:26:25 |
Holy shit! |
01:26:28 |
What? Tell me. |
01:26:31 |
Well, this one time at band camp... |
01:26:36 |
I got stuck playing this trombone. |
01:26:38 |
And I can't play anything at all. |
01:26:41 |
And everyone thought |
01:26:43 |
but I didn't know what to think, |
01:26:45 |
and I didn't know |
01:26:48 |
It was so funny! |
01:26:51 |
- I gotta go. |
01:26:56 |
Please don't take this |
01:26:58 |
but you're-- |
01:27:01 |
you're everything |
01:27:04 |
And as much as I may really... |
01:27:07 |
really regret |
01:27:12 |
there's somebody else |
01:27:14 |
You want the band geek? |
01:27:17 |
Nadia... |
01:27:19 |
I am a band geek. |
01:27:22 |
I just never joined the band. |
01:27:29 |
You go get your geek. |
01:27:33 |
Someday I will find mine. |
01:27:53 |
Hey. Kevin Myers. |
01:27:56 |
Hi. |
01:27:58 |
It's okay, man. |
01:28:01 |
- Can you give us a sec? |
01:28:05 |
Look, you don't have to do this. |
01:28:07 |
Maybe I was being selfish... |
01:28:10 |
in wanting to be your friend. |
01:28:13 |
Maybe it's just not gonna work. |
01:28:16 |
I would much rather have you as a friend |
01:28:32 |
Party on! |
01:28:39 |
- From the lighthouse all the way-- |
01:28:49 |
What are you doing here? |
01:28:51 |
I was gonna pick you up |
01:28:53 |
I took an earlier flight, |
01:28:55 |
- Yeah, you did. |
01:28:59 |
We'll get used to it. |
01:29:02 |
Come on. I wanna hear all about it. |
01:29:06 |
Steve, this cop-watch |
01:29:08 |
Hello? |
01:29:11 |
Man, this sucks. |
01:29:14 |
Who is it out there? |
01:29:19 |
It's the Stifmeister, baby. |
01:29:21 |
I that so? |
01:29:27 |
Life's a bitch, isn't it? |
01:29:32 |
It's all right. |
01:29:35 |
I'm used to girls ignoring me. |
01:29:37 |
Or making fun of me. |
01:29:39 |
''Come on, Sherman. |
01:29:43 |
Like the movie. |
01:29:46 |
I get it, okay? |
01:29:50 |
Maybe I am a geek. |
01:29:51 |
Whatever. |
01:29:56 |
Yes! Yes, you are! |
01:30:01 |
All right. |
01:30:04 |
I am the Sherminator. |
01:30:08 |
A sophisticated sex robot |
01:30:11 |
to change the future |
01:30:15 |
I am lucky lady? |
01:30:17 |
That's right, Nadia. |
01:30:19 |
You've been targeted |
01:30:21 |
Come with me |
01:30:27 |
Help! |
01:30:32 |
- Fuck me, geek! |
01:30:35 |
No fuckin' way! |
01:30:43 |
- Forget it. |
01:31:01 |
Cheers, bud. |
01:31:08 |
Hey, Steve, look what I found. |
01:31:11 |
- Dude, don't touch the shirt. |
01:31:16 |
- Hi. |
01:31:18 |
Brilliant. |
01:31:22 |
Good luck trying to break |
01:31:24 |
- Lesbians? |
01:31:33 |
- What? |
01:31:39 |
Oh, man. |
01:31:42 |
I will do anything-- anything-- |
01:31:46 |
Okay? I'll grab |
01:31:50 |
I'll caress it, even. |
01:31:53 |
Oh, yeah. |
01:31:55 |
It's true. I'll kiss everybody here. |
01:32:00 |
Because I am comfortable |
01:32:04 |
Oh, yeah. |
01:32:07 |
At least have a drink |
01:32:11 |
- All right. |
01:32:15 |
All right. |
01:32:19 |
You truly are a Stifmeister. |
01:32:21 |
- Welcome back to the party. |
01:32:25 |
- Ladies, I am down with the funky shit. |
01:32:28 |
One time at this party, |
01:32:33 |
Thank you. Thank you. |
01:32:35 |
Our next soloist |
01:33:06 |
Petey? |
01:33:12 |
This kid is killing me. |
01:33:16 |
- You suck, retard. |
01:33:19 |
I'm a very special boy. |
01:33:37 |
How's this |
01:33:50 |
Come on, guys. |
01:34:21 |
That untalented bastard. |
01:35:03 |
- Good for them. |
01:35:08 |
- Wanna dance? |
01:35:11 |
We'll be back. |
01:35:56 |
You know, there's only one word |
01:35:59 |
- Bitchin'. |
01:36:03 |
Am I gonna have a hangover? |
01:36:12 |
Later. |
01:36:14 |
- Good-bye. |
01:36:16 |
- Let's go to our page. |
01:36:19 |
This party was crazy! |
01:36:22 |
- You drank him under the table. |
01:37:02 |
- Best summer ever, huh, fellas? |
01:37:05 |
- Sorry things didn't work out for you. |
01:37:09 |
I have all the time in the world. |
01:37:12 |
So, are we gonna |
01:37:14 |
- Hell, yeah, we are. |
01:37:16 |
Well, we're gonna try. |
01:37:28 |
- That's a sweet car. |
01:37:37 |
- Stifler's mom. |
01:37:39 |
How did you know I was here? |
01:37:41 |
I called a couple of weeks ago. |
01:37:43 |
Didn't Steven tell you that |
01:37:46 |
I guess it slipped his mind. |
01:37:50 |
What's your name? |
01:37:54 |
Jeanine. |
01:37:58 |
Okay, well... |
01:38:00 |
I've been thinking, and, |
01:38:03 |
There's a whole world out there. |
01:38:07 |
-Just can't be. |
01:38:12 |
Good. |
01:38:17 |
- You want to get it on? |
01:38:24 |
See you guys later. |
01:38:26 |
Where are you goin', man? |
01:38:28 |
Give me, like, three days. |
01:38:34 |
Wait, was that who I think-- |
01:38:36 |
- No. |
01:38:38 |
- I think it was. |
01:38:44 |
Who the hell was that? |
01:38:46 |
That was-- |
01:38:47 |
That was-- Someone was lost. |
01:38:49 |
- Lookin' for the lake. |
01:38:53 |
What a dumb ass. |
01:39:01 |
Incredible. |
01:39:05 |
What are you worried about? |
01:39:07 |
Everything in. Let's go. |
01:39:10 |
Yeah, I do. |
01:39:13 |
- I have a girlfriend now. |
01:39:15 |
- She's my girlfriend. |
01:39:18 |
Let's go! Let's go! |
01:39:20 |
- Where's Shitbreak? |
01:39:21 |
- Took the bus. |
01:39:23 |
Wait a second. |
01:39:25 |
Who the fuck was in that car? |
01:39:34 |
Oh, Finchy, I missed you. |
01:39:37 |
Oh, Jeanine. Jeanine. |
01:39:40 |
Call me Stifler's mom. |
01:39:44 |
Oh, Stifler's mom! |
01:39:49 |
^ BugTitleZ ^ |