Last Holiday

en
00:02:32 - This way, please.
00:02:35 Oh, what's the use?
00:02:43 Sorry.
00:02:46 All right.
00:02:48 - Who's next?
00:02:50 Bird? Bird, Bird, Bird, Bird.
00:02:59 Oh, yes, yes.
00:03:06 Mm-hmm.
00:03:10 There you are.
00:03:14 Delayed, but now moving
00:03:18 Very rare, always fatal.
00:03:20 - Had X-rays taken?
00:03:22 So have I. Wonderful what
00:03:26 Do anything -
00:03:30 - Bird. George Bird?
00:03:37 Ah, Sit down,
00:03:45 - You married, Mr. Bird?
00:03:48 Living with any close relation?
00:03:51 No, I haven't any close relations.
00:03:55 - Oh. Some girlfriend perhaps?
00:04:00 Any special friend?
00:04:02 No. I had a great pal once,
00:04:08 Lonely sort of chap,
00:04:10 Looks like it, doesn't it?
00:04:14 Well, Mr. Bird...
00:04:16 according to this X-ray...
00:04:18 you're suffering from
00:04:22 known as Lampington's disease.
00:04:25 Come over here a moment.
00:04:27 Now then. Have a look at that.
00:04:31 What does it do to you, this -
00:04:34 Ah, now, that's very interesting,
00:04:36 that nobody spotted it
00:04:38 when Trevor Lampington
00:04:41 You see, between the stomach
00:04:45 I'm sorry, Doctor, but is it serious?
00:04:59 You want the honest truth,
00:05:02 - Yes, Doctor.
00:05:07 Lampington's disease
00:05:10 No pain, as a rule, you'll be glad to learn.
00:05:12 An acute case soon passes
00:05:17 But I feel all right now, Doctor.
00:05:19 In fact, my landlady says
00:05:22 It isn't what you feel, my dear chap,
00:05:26 Couldn't be wrong, I suppose?
00:05:28 I'm sorry. I - I'm very sorry.
00:05:31 Afraid you'll have to prepare yourself,
00:05:33 May be a few weeks,
00:05:36 Just possibly might be
00:05:38 but that's the limit,
00:05:40 And then? Finish?
00:05:43 What's your occupation, Mr. Bird?
00:05:46 I'm a salesman for the Chanbury
00:05:51 Saved any money?
00:05:53 About 300 or so.
00:05:55 And then I've an insurance policy.
00:05:57 I suppose the surrender
00:06:01 Well, if I were in your place,
00:06:04 walk out of me job
00:06:07 Torquay or Pinebourne...
00:06:09 find a good hotel
00:06:12 Now, don't forget.
00:06:14 Just a sort of numbness at first,
00:06:19 You said that before.
00:06:21 Well -
00:06:24 - Thanks very much.
00:06:27 - Feels all right so far.
00:06:32 How do you keep smiling
00:06:36 I'm so sorry, Mr. Bird.
00:06:38 Don't mention it.
00:06:41 When you come to think of it,
00:06:44 Couldn't agree with you more,
00:06:46 I mean to say... it's going to be all over
00:07:48 Don't lean against the window.
00:08:23 Well, Bird, you ought to have been
00:08:25 - I had to go to the clinic, Mr. Dinsdale.
00:08:29 - All right. I won't.
00:08:32 - I am going, Mr. Dinsdale.
00:08:34 But I'm going for good.
00:08:37 Here. Bird, don't be foolish.
00:08:39 I know the last time you asked me
00:08:42 No. Business wouldn't stand it,
00:08:45 Well, we won't quarrel
00:08:47 Not now, we won't.
00:08:49 Look, Bird. I'll -
00:08:52 - 450.
00:08:55 - 500.
00:09:02 Remember that with the next chap.
00:09:05 - Well, so long.
00:09:08 I don't know yet, but wherever it is,
00:09:12 Don't go, Bird.
00:09:16 650. 700. 750.
00:09:19 800. That's about what it'll be
00:09:22 The bank will be glad to advise
00:09:24 I'm not going to invest it.
00:09:27 - Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you.
00:09:31 Now, look.
00:09:35 Pinebourne? Oh, yes. Yes.
00:09:39 Oh, yes, any amount
00:09:41 What, uh, class of hotel had you in mind?
00:09:43 Well, what do you think?
00:09:45 Oh, something very reasonable,
00:09:48 - Pinebourne's rather exclusive, you know.
00:09:50 Oh, yes. In fact, it's very exclusive.
00:09:52 - Why, what do they do there?
00:09:57 Hmm. The Regal Hotel.
00:10:00 - No. That's not what you want.
00:10:03 The Regal? Well, although it's rather small,
00:10:07 Well, it can select me for a change.
00:10:10 Just you book me a single room
00:10:13 And I'd better have
00:10:15 Certainly. Return, of course?
00:10:19 One-way.
00:10:39 One moment, sir.
00:10:42 It's important. You are just
00:10:45 - What, me?
00:10:47 And believe me,
00:10:49 Won't take half a minute to explain.
00:10:52 Come inside, please.
00:10:56 Mind the step, please.
00:10:58 What's the idea?
00:11:00 You know about that big sale
00:11:03 Well, I went...
00:11:05 and was lucky enough to get some of
00:11:09 What do you expect me to do, cheer?
00:11:12 Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
00:11:15 Not specially. No.
00:11:18 You will be,
00:11:21 Savile Row.
00:11:23 And I've been looking out for somebody
00:11:26 That's why I called you in.
00:11:28 Try one of the jackets on.
00:11:32 All right.
00:11:44 Mm-hmm.
00:11:48 Wonderful.
00:11:52 Beautiful.
00:11:54 Perfect.
00:11:58 Don't take my word for it.
00:12:02 Over there.
00:12:08 See what I mean?
00:12:10 Best tailoring in London -
00:12:12 Wear two or three suits like this
00:12:15 and you're going to
00:12:17 - You'll begin to live.
00:12:20 But I see what you mean.
00:12:23 - Let's have a look at the rest of that stuff.
00:12:28 Thirty-five, five, less three,
00:12:30 Three, four, five, six,
00:12:32 Sixty-five pounds, 16 shillings.
00:12:37 Uh, do you know what I'll do for you?
00:12:39 I'll throw this other case in.
00:12:41 And that's because I've taken
00:12:44 Well, what do you say?
00:12:46 - Sixty-five, eh?
00:12:50 Sixty-five pounds,
00:12:52 That's it. Now...
00:12:56 believe it or not, but I have done you
00:12:59 and I want you to promise
00:13:02 - Will you?
00:13:04 - Come on. Come on.
00:13:06 Take that mustache off.
00:13:10 Make a nice all-round job of it.
00:13:12 Just to please me,
00:13:15 and get that mustache off.
00:13:17 - Will it give me a stiff upper lip?
00:13:21 I need it for longer than that.
00:13:23 My dear sir,
00:13:27 You've come into something big.
00:13:31 It's the look in your eye.
00:13:33 A special look.
00:13:36 It tells you
00:13:38 Quite so. But how big is it?
00:13:41 I don't know. Nobody knows.
00:13:44 Or if they do know,
00:13:48 And I'm leaving for it in the morning.
00:14:02 The 15th?
00:14:05 The same suite that you had before?
00:14:09 Well, I'll speak to
00:14:11 but I don't think it's possible
00:14:14 Yes, very busy indeed.
00:14:18 - Yes, Mrs. Rockingham?
00:14:20 asking me if I'd call at his office.
00:14:22 Oh, yes. Uh -Well, I'm afraid you'll have to
00:14:26 Mr. Gambini has Mr. Prescott with him.
00:14:37 - A light?
00:14:42 Thank you.
00:14:46 Good afternoon.
00:14:48 I have a room booked here.
00:14:50 Oh, yes, Mr. Bird.
00:14:53 Will you sign here, please?
00:14:55 Just your name and address will do.
00:15:02 I haven't any address, I'm afraid.
00:15:04 Not any address?
00:15:06 No. I've been traveling about
00:15:09 I like travel, you know. Don't you?
00:15:11 I like what I've heard about it.
00:15:13 - Oh, I see you've been lucky, Mr. Bird.
00:15:17 Oh,
00:15:19 I'm sure Mr. Bellinghurst
00:15:21 - Thank you.
00:15:24 Uh, Mr. Gambini,
00:15:26 Oh, Mr. Bird. Welcome to our Regal Hotel.
00:15:31 And if at any time you have the smallest
00:15:35 - I hope you will enjoy your stay with us very much.
00:15:39 We have many important people
00:15:42 This gentleman you see with me -
00:15:45 secretary to Mr. Bellinghurst,
00:15:48 - Is he here?
00:15:51 And many very rich
00:15:55 You said you wanted to see me,
00:15:57 I can't wait all day, you know.
00:15:59 Of course, Mrs. Rockingham.
00:16:01 I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
00:16:05 Just a little formality.
00:16:11 Miss Mellows, see that everything
00:16:15 Of course, Mr. Gambini. I think you'll
00:16:18 but if not, please let me know.
00:16:20 Page, take Mr. Bird to 13.
00:16:46 I forgot your soap. I'm always forgetting...
00:16:48 because the last place I was in,
00:16:50 I see,
00:16:52 - What's the matter?
00:16:55 Well, why are we whispering?
00:16:57 Oh, I've talked like this for years.
00:17:00 I was in Birmingham before this...
00:17:02 but I wanted a change.
00:17:04 So did I - and I've got one.
00:17:07 Maggie Craven.
00:17:09 This is the poshest place
00:17:13 It's the poshest place
00:17:16 That'll do, Maggie, Nineteen's ringing for you,
00:17:19 I bet she is, Never stops,
00:17:23 - I'm Mrs. Poole. I'm the housekeeper here.
00:17:26 Well, I don't think
00:17:29 but if you've any complaint to make
00:17:31 I shall be in the linen room
00:17:36 Thank you.
00:17:39 Bird, eh? A General Bird used to shoot
00:17:44 He'd an extremely large nose.
00:17:46 Has your Mr. Bird a large nose?
00:17:48 No, Miss Hatfield. Just an ordinary nose.
00:17:50 Oh, probably not the same family.
00:17:52 I remember all these Birds had long noses.
00:17:55 Beaky Birds
00:17:58 Cor, you ought to have seen the labels
00:18:02 Cairo, India, New York, Los Angeles.
00:18:05 Only give me a tenner though
00:18:07 That proves he's got plenty of money.
00:18:09 - The richer they are, the less they give you,
00:18:13 - Wonder what he is.
00:18:15 How about working that lift?
00:18:43 I say. Mrs. Poole.
00:18:46 Yes, Mr. Bird?
00:18:48 Oh, no. It's very nice, thank you.
00:18:50 It's posh, isn't it? In fact,
00:18:54 Please, don't shut that door.
00:18:56 and we're not supposed to
00:18:59 Oh, I wasn't thinking about
00:19:01 I just wanted a word with you
00:19:05 I feel, um -
00:19:09 I - I've got to talk to somebody.
00:19:12 Well, why me?
00:19:15 I shouldn't be in here anyhow.
00:19:18 Look. Don't look at me like that.
00:19:24 And look at me as though
00:19:26 It's the limit.
00:19:28 And if you get any wrong ideas about that,
00:19:33 Well, now that you're here, give me a hand
00:19:37 By the way-
00:19:39 before you start, you might like to know
00:19:43 as a sort of mystery man,
00:19:46 I oughtn't to have come here.
00:19:49 What about all this traveling
00:19:51 All the traveling I've done is among Midland
00:19:55 What's wrong with that?
00:19:57 - Come into some money?
00:20:00 Never earned more than about
00:20:02 But I'm not married,
00:20:04 Well, you're not spending
00:20:09 But why? Wanted a bit of high life?
00:20:13 In a way, I suppose.
00:20:16 I got into some trouble - uh...
00:20:19 heard some bad news.
00:20:21 I thought I might as well
00:20:24 What bad news? What sort of trouble?
00:20:33 - Think I'd better not.
00:20:37 But you needn't think
00:20:41 But now that you are here,
00:20:45 Be a mystery man,
00:20:47 And tell 'em what you think.
00:21:02 I could never get Sir Herbert
00:21:05 One of his fads.
00:21:07 - I'll take those.
00:21:09 "Nay, Herbert," I'd say,
00:21:11 but it didn't make a bit of difference,
00:21:13 Fancy!
00:21:15 - What did I tell you? You would come here.
00:21:18 As good as. I'm grumbling, all right.
00:21:21 About as much life here
00:21:23 We ought to have gone
00:21:25 You and your Brighton.
00:21:27 So I was wondering if he could be
00:21:31 One of the girls -
00:21:34 went mad and wouldn't
00:21:37 Mr. Chalfont, you're not listening.
00:21:39 What? Oh, yes, I am.
00:21:43 Very fond of lumber rooms.
00:21:46 Don't like birds in them though.
00:21:56 That's the man, coming in now.
00:21:59 - Well turned out. Savile Row.
00:22:02 Possibly.
00:22:18 If that's the man,
00:22:20 The family nose couldn't have
00:22:23 Perhaps he's had an inch or two removed.
00:22:25 Reminds me of
00:22:28 the one that went to Australia.
00:22:30 - Fancy!
00:22:32 - Nice-looking sort of chap too, Joe.
00:22:36 Unless that Rockingham piece
00:22:40 Expecting your husband back tonight?
00:22:43 I'm not sure. Either tonight
00:22:46 I think he ought to be careful.
00:22:48 - Why?
00:22:50 He isn't the right type.
00:22:52 - Too slapdash.
00:23:32 Take a card. Any card.
00:23:37 You probably think this is one of those
00:23:41 Thanks. Your name's Bird, isn't it?
00:23:44 Mine's Chalfont.
00:23:46 I promised to do some tricks for the boys' club
00:23:50 Aren't you Rufus Chalfont, the inventor?
00:23:52 Yes. I designed a new
00:23:58 Trying to enjoy myself,
00:24:01 You invented the Chalfont subsoiler.
00:24:03 Good man. Good man. First sensible
00:24:07 Now look here, Mr. Chalfont.
00:24:09 If you really want to do
00:24:11 Go on. This is like
00:24:13 You ought to improve
00:24:16 Up to a point it's a good job,
00:24:19 - Yes, yes, yes. I do know.
00:24:22 but I wouldn't know
00:24:24 Mmm. That blade wants thinking out
00:24:26 My dear fellow,
00:24:28 Of course the subsoiler's the thing
00:24:32 You're a splendid fella.
00:24:34 Oh. That's the card you picked.
00:24:39 - Mr. Bird?
00:24:41 My name's Prescott,
00:24:44 who, as you probably know,
00:24:46 - Yes, I heard he was. - Well, the
00:24:48 wonders if you'd care to join him in a cocktail
00:24:52 - Are you sure it's me? Bird?
00:24:55 The minister is always
00:24:57 and gain their impressions
00:25:00 - By the way, you can be quite frank with him.
00:25:03 A quarter to 8:00 then,
00:25:20 Bless you.
00:25:26 Really, Miss Fox. I'm surprised at you.
00:25:29 - I wasn't thinking, Lady Oswington.
00:25:33 Hiding his face, if you ask me.
00:25:36 Very peculiar indeed.
00:25:45 What do I do about this?
00:25:47 Come here.
00:25:50 Seems like it. I'm sorry.
00:25:52 Oh, don't apologize.
00:25:54 Well, I've started
00:25:56 and I've just been asked to have a drink
00:25:59 - How's that?
00:26:04 Thank you very much, Mrs. Poole.
00:26:06 No, it isn't very kind of me.
00:26:10 - And don't look at me like that.
00:26:13 Like a little lost dog or something.
00:26:16 Oh, I wish you'd tell me what's wrong.
00:26:20 All right. Off you go,
00:26:30 - What can I get you?
00:26:33 Ah, Mr, Bird,
00:26:35 - White lady and a double martini, George.
00:26:41 All right, Joe. You've seen her now.
00:26:43 No harm in looking, is there?
00:26:45 What have I gotta do so you get to know her?
00:26:48 Who wanted to come here? We're half a mile
00:26:54 Well, now, Mr. Bird,
00:26:56 - You're doing all right.
00:26:58 That's what we want to hear, eh, Prescott?
00:27:00 Doing all right.
00:27:02 But you're making one or two
00:27:05 Oh, we are, eh?
00:27:07 Do you really want to know,
00:27:10 No. Go on, my dear chap. Tell me.
00:27:12 We make machinery
00:27:14 - Certainly. Must have exports.
00:27:17 Yes, but a lot of that machinery
00:27:19 make the goods we want to
00:27:21 In the meantime, we aren't making enough
00:27:25 to grow more food for ourselves,
00:27:28 - That's what you think, eh?
00:27:32 I could show you 200 farms in one county
00:27:36 for combine harvesters, drying plants,
00:27:40 I'm sorry, Minister, but you've
00:27:43 Yes, we'll have to go in.
00:27:46 I want some more information
00:27:49 Tomorrow, perhaps.
00:28:02 Something there I might use,
00:28:04 - Just what I was thinking, Minister.
00:28:08 - Up in my room, tomorrow, or the day after.
00:28:16 Thank you. Won't you join us?
00:28:18 And I'm in the chair. So what will you have,
00:28:22 A glass of beer, thank you.
00:28:26 - You don't mean it?
00:28:31 - But how exciting.
00:28:33 But that means, if someone asks you a question,
00:28:37 Well, what's wrong with that?
00:28:41 Because, for one thing,
00:28:44 - Could you?
00:28:50 What are you thinking about?
00:28:55 I was thinking that
00:28:58 looking like that...
00:29:01 I'd have thought you were
00:29:04 And yet here you are,
00:29:09 You know, there's something
00:29:12 Oh, dear.
00:29:15 All right, Joe Clarence. If you want to
00:29:18 why don't you go across
00:29:20 That's just what I would do, if we was anywhere
00:29:24 Don't be silly. What's the difference?
00:29:27 And talking about eating,
00:29:30 So come on, Joe.
00:29:34 All right. I'll have a bash at it.
00:29:36 Follow me, girl,
00:29:40 Excuse me. Uh, you're the very
00:29:44 Sorry, I've never been there.
00:29:47 There you are, Joe. What did I tell you?
00:29:50 - All right. I made a mistake.
00:29:53 - Uh, Clarence. Joe Clarence.
00:29:56 - That's right, Mr. Bird.
00:29:58 That's what I wanted
00:30:00 - You'll all have one with me. George.
00:30:02 - Let's enjoy our miserable selves. You know why, chum?
00:30:04 'Cause we're a long time dead.
00:30:07 Excuse me.
00:30:25 Where now would you like me
00:30:27 - Put me?
00:31:08 - What's the idea?
00:31:12 - Wake you up, did we?
00:31:15 Well, you've gotta get up sometime, chum,
00:31:18 We don't get our lay-in till Saturday.
00:31:24 - I - I'm sorry about all this noise.
00:31:27 Well, of course it is horrible.
00:31:29 there is one of our best clients
00:31:32 He arrange with me to make
00:31:35 Today he come back,
00:31:37 You know this gentleman,
00:31:40 Very important gentleman
00:31:42 Very, very rich.
00:31:45 - Sheep?
00:31:49 Mr. Bird, I ask the waiter to bring you
00:31:55 Mmm.
00:32:02 So I got this commercial type
00:32:05 About all I did get on this trip.
00:32:07 No, the luck's out, darling.
00:32:10 I wish you wouldn't do that in here.
00:32:13 Only just, I imagine.
00:32:16 Gambini sent for me yesterday.
00:32:18 I had to swear you'd pay him
00:32:21 Well, I can't, of course.
00:32:26 You'd better tell me, hadn't you, Derek?
00:32:28 Hmm. No. I'd better not.
00:32:32 But if you know how to raise about 300
00:32:36 now is the time to tell me how it's done.
00:32:39 No, uh, diamond necklaces
00:32:41 Don't be silly. Everything I had
00:32:45 Hmm. Anybody new in the pub?
00:32:48 Yes. A man called Bird,
00:32:52 Though he makes me feel uncomfortable.
00:32:56 - Rich type?
00:32:59 It's hard to say.
00:33:01 - Well, a bird in the hand -
00:33:04 Perhaps not. But if you knew
00:33:08 Oh, well. I'll have a shot at Wrexham.
00:33:11 If that's no go, I'll have a last try
00:33:15 Nice people we're turning into.
00:33:18 Squadron Leader
00:33:21 Sheila, only daughter
00:33:24 - And now, look at us.
00:33:26 - I won't.
00:33:40 Well, I'm sorry, madam,
00:33:43 that no young children are allowed.
00:33:46 I think it's a shame too.
00:33:48 I'd rather have children
00:33:50 - Good morning.
00:33:53 - Good-bye.
00:33:56 If you'd like to talk to your friends about it,
00:34:00 No, thank you. As a matter of fact, I was
00:34:04 - Is his name Smith or Robinson?
00:34:08 - Ministry of Food?
00:34:12 - Yes, I think you do, rather.
00:34:15 But as a favor-
00:34:18 would you allow me to glance
00:34:24 If you want any information,
00:34:27 Gambini, eh?
00:34:30 - What about you?
00:34:33 Don't know enough about
00:34:35 Just waiting for a young man
00:34:38 Oh, I see. Well, good luck.
00:34:40 There's a Mrs. Poole here, isn't there?
00:34:43 Mrs. Poole's the housekeeper.
00:34:46 I used to know her husband.
00:34:48 I'd like to have a word with her.
00:34:50 Could you, uh, fix it?
00:34:53 Just wait over there,
00:34:56 Of course.
00:35:01 You know, what you did last night made
00:35:04 It did. And listen, George, old son,
00:35:08 - Make you a nice little packet, if you're interested.
00:35:14 - Mr. Bird.
00:35:18 Might be me she's after really. Eh?
00:35:20 - Then again, it might not.
00:35:23 You weren't going out
00:35:25 - Yes. Putting. Why not?
00:35:27 So am I. Perhaps we all are.
00:35:30 You'd better join us.
00:35:32 Oh, all right. But I'd like to
00:35:38 - I can give you a quarter of an hour.
00:35:49 Mr. Holmes. You'll find her
00:35:53 The name's on the door.
00:35:55 Much obliged.
00:36:00 But we're not altogether strangers.
00:36:02 Frank and I were in "C" Division
00:36:05 You've probably heard him mention me.
00:36:07 Yes, I remember.
00:36:09 - But what's it all about anyhow?
00:36:13 What do you know about this chap Bird?
00:36:15 - Bird?
00:36:17 Well, the smart clothes he wears
00:36:20 They belonged to Lord Fristover,
00:36:23 Two of his shirts were bought
00:36:25 So, I think he comes from Chanbury.
00:36:28 Yes, but what's he doing here?
00:36:31 - Spending his savings to see life.
00:36:34 Oh, just when I thought I needn't
00:36:37 I have to start worrying
00:36:39 Just because he has a helpless look
00:36:42 I have to start getting upset
00:36:45 I thought you women
00:36:47 Oh, I hate this "you women" stuff.
00:36:50 But if you must know, if we don't worry,
00:36:53 and if we do worry,
00:36:56 Oh, I thought I had more sense.
00:36:59 Well, I'm glad you haven't.
00:37:01 Can you tell me anything
00:37:04 Good-looking, nice clothes,
00:37:06 but he can't pay his bill
00:37:09 Hmm. Well, I may need your help again
00:37:12 - Not at all. I'll do all I can to help you.
00:37:17 Good-bye.
00:37:26 The answer is no.
00:37:28 I'm always fond of early autumn.
00:37:30 I've, uh, put up one or two blacks lately.
00:37:34 I'm not surprised.
00:37:36 you ought to be more careful.
00:37:38 Sheila, eh?
00:37:40 By the way, I wouldn't make any mistake
00:37:43 She's still very devoted to me.
00:37:47 - What about this fellow Bird?
00:37:50 Everybody seems impressed except me.
00:37:52 I think he's a counterjumper
00:37:56 Well, he might be worth trying.
00:37:58 I think I'll run up to town first
00:38:02 Poor old Derek.
00:38:04 He's rather desperate just now,
00:38:07 - Has he tried everything?
00:38:10 Even working?
00:38:12 Isn't that rather a beastly remark?
00:38:14 It depends how you feel about work.
00:38:16 I've got a very hot tip on a horse.
00:38:19 - All you gotta do is stick on 50 quid, same as me.
00:38:23 Can't, chum, 'cause I promised.
00:38:26 Either I'm doing you a favor,
00:38:28 Either you trust me, or you don't.
00:38:32 All right, Joe. I trust you.
00:38:35 That's the talk, Georgie.
00:38:39 I was just stealing a cutting for my garden.
00:38:41 I always do, wherever I go.
00:38:43 - My mother always did.
00:38:47 When my husband, Sir Herbert,
00:38:50 - Fancy.
00:38:52 And I've only one.
00:38:55 Eighty, if a day, the poor old thing.
00:38:58 Mr. Bird seems a very unhappy young man.
00:39:02 - I can't say I have.
00:39:04 But then they all are now.
00:39:06 They try to be sane in a mad world...
00:39:08 while, when I was a girl,
00:39:11 - So much more satisfactory, don't you think?
00:39:17 Been doing some work
00:39:20 - Our subsoiler blade?
00:39:22 Take a look at this. There's a proposition
00:39:25 Don't want to rush you, but look it over as soon
00:39:29 Playing croquet with Mrs. Rockingham,
00:39:32 I've forgotten how to play croquet.
00:39:34 I've never played in my life.
00:39:37 Good shot, partner.
00:39:41 So, as far as I can see,
00:39:44 that starts at a fat salary,
00:39:46 - That's all.
00:39:48 Not good enough?
00:39:50 - Well, what about a week ago?
00:39:54 What do I do now?
00:39:56 You put your ball through that hoop, partner.
00:39:59 - Though it's about a hundred-to-one you can't.
00:40:08 You've done it!
00:40:11 You're too good for us, Mr. Bird.
00:40:14 - How do you do it?
00:40:17 Your go, Mrs. Rockingham.
00:40:20 I've had a word from old Kyle.
00:40:22 He's interested in our proposition.
00:40:26 Now, that blade ought to be lighter,
00:40:28 - Yes. And thinner- if you can make it just as strong.
00:40:32 Come along, Mr. Chalfont.
00:40:35 No, no, partner. Keen as mustard.
00:40:37 - Silly game, this. Make it rain, will you?
00:40:49 Oh! Oh.
00:40:59 Thank you.
00:41:11 - What a horrible cigarette case.
00:41:22 Do you know anything about hands?
00:41:25 No.
00:41:27 I have a cousin who specializes in them.
00:41:29 She looks at hands more than faces.
00:41:33 I don't really observe anything very much.
00:41:35 I'm really in a dream half the time.
00:41:37 Pleasant dream?
00:41:40 Not lately.
00:41:43 We were going to talk about me,
00:41:45 - Yes.
00:41:56 I'm sorry.
00:41:58 - They're the cheapest I can find.
00:42:01 It's a bigger mistake
00:42:05 Why do you say things like that to me
00:42:08 I'm probably trying to do
00:42:14 Kiss me.
00:42:28 No?
00:42:31 No.
00:42:33 I'm sorry.
00:42:37 What a nuisance.
00:42:43 Well, say something.
00:42:45 All right, then. Get out of this, and start living
00:42:51 I don't think I want to listen to this.
00:42:53 No, but for once you're going to
00:42:56 And I say start living a real life.
00:42:59 If you still want your husband, then
00:43:02 If he isn't worth it,
00:43:05 - Mind your own damn business.
00:43:08 I only wish someone had talked to me
00:43:11 - I'm going.
00:43:13 I don't care if I drown.
00:43:17 Why would you live with this trash?
00:43:19 Look at this!
00:43:24 There's no honest workmanship in that,
00:43:27 You might as well have asked
00:43:30 with cardboard
00:43:32 Please, Sir Robert, I tell you. I ask for the best
00:43:36 A laddie with a wee fretwork set
00:43:39 I don't know what the country's coming to when
00:43:43 Man, Gambini, they may swindle you, but they
00:43:47 I say.
00:43:50 Well, my dear sir,
00:43:52 Let me know if you're going
00:43:55 because I happen to live
00:43:57 I asked for some alterations
00:44:00 I know,
00:44:02 Well, look what they've given me,
00:44:09 That's what you get nowadays.
00:44:11 Just fellas hanging around,
00:44:14 Now be fair. Look at the rotten stuff
00:44:18 - What's your name, sir?
00:44:20 And you're Sir Robert Kyle.
00:44:22 Very likely.
00:44:24 that I was working on the Clyde
00:44:28 - Maybe, but you had good stuff to work with.
00:44:30 And these chaps hadn't.
00:44:34 We've had two world wars
00:44:36 since you worked
00:44:40 Hello, hello!
00:44:43 Hello, Bird. You've got a fierce look in your eye.
00:44:46 Not at all,
00:44:48 - Certainly not. Just a little argument.
00:44:53 I tell you, Mr. Bird, I am very grateful
00:44:58 To everyone who come here I say it is
00:45:02 but that is one big lie.
00:45:04 But with you is honest truth,
00:45:06 And all of the time you remind me
00:45:09 - There's something about you, Mr. Bird.
00:45:12 And where is your brother now,
00:45:15 He's dead, my brother.
00:45:21 - Get wet this afternoon?
00:45:24 Me and Daisy got properly soaked.
00:45:26 Got a nice bit of news for you,
00:45:28 It all comes of trusting a bloke
00:45:31 I couldn't get us tens on that horse.
00:45:34 Left 'em standing like I was told she would.
00:45:39 - 400 quid?
00:45:42 But that's no reason why we don't
00:45:49 I'm holding up the dinner, sir,
00:45:52 which is like Klondike
00:45:54 Some nights they all drink like fishes.
00:45:57 And why this should be
00:46:00 This'll be a great night for getting rid of
00:46:04 which has been weighing upon us
00:46:07 My friend, of some things
00:46:10 I shall eat a little soup
00:46:13 and try to listen to La Scala di Milano
00:46:24 Come on, everybody. Drink up. Laugh and be happy.
00:46:29 Him and his lucky days.
00:46:31 And these are 10 bob a time too, George.
00:46:34 They're not worth it, Daisy.
00:46:40 Your friend Bird keeps giving you
00:46:43 - Can't understand how he takes everybody in.
00:46:47 Probably won a few hundreds
00:46:50 and everybody thinks he's somebody
00:46:53 - Eh, Sheila?
00:46:56 I'm worried about Derek.
00:47:02 I'm sorry, sir, but don't forget
00:47:05 Ring up and tell 'em
00:47:07 Delayed by urgent business.
00:47:10 No, not when they won't vote for you anyway.
00:47:14 My husband, Sir Herbert, always said champagne
00:47:18 Nonsense!
00:47:20 What did you say?
00:47:22 I said nonsense, Lady Os - Oswington.
00:47:25 - Absolute nonsense.
00:47:32 Oi, chum, join in. Don't be shy.
00:47:37 Right-o, chum.
00:47:39 - Cheers.
00:47:51 Enjoying yourself, George?
00:47:53 No. Can't really say I am, Daisy.
00:47:56 And it's about time I started.
00:47:59 Joe'll want you to play poker tonight.
00:48:03 And you'll have to play too, George,
00:48:06 Cards.
00:48:08 I'll have three cards, please.
00:48:11 - One, two, three.
00:48:15 - One.
00:48:24 I'll check the bet.
00:48:30 Ten.
00:48:33 All right, Georgie.
00:48:36 Mmm. I'm away.
00:48:38 Ten...
00:48:40 and 20 more.
00:48:43 Ooh.
00:48:46 Well -
00:48:50 All right, Georgie,
00:48:56 - Heavens! A royal flush!
00:48:59 Look at that.
00:49:02 All right, gents, that's penalties.
00:49:04 - You're a very lucky man, Mr, Bird,
00:49:08 I don't know, Joe.
00:49:13 - Must we go on?
00:49:15 - Can't stop when you're winning, Bird, old boy.
00:49:18 - My deal.
00:49:37 I'm sorry, Sheila.
00:49:40 - We've had it.
00:49:43 Something's gone wrong.
00:49:46 Binney's in a flap.
00:49:49 He's broke too, and -
00:49:51 Hold it.
00:49:57 - Mr. Rockingham?
00:49:59 But I've had a long day
00:50:02 I'll try not to keep it too long.
00:50:06 - Perhaps you'd like to leave us.
00:50:16 Mr. Rockingham,
00:50:19 I was.
00:50:21 Last week, on the 9th to be exact,
00:50:24 On the 3rd you crossed to the Hook.
00:50:28 I daresay. Not quite sure about the dates,
00:50:33 - Fond of travel, aren't you?
00:50:36 But you see, Inspector, I need a job.
00:50:39 I see.
00:50:43 Yes, slightly. Used to run into him
00:50:47 - Not lately, eh?
00:50:49 What I say is that you were
00:50:51 this afternoon at a quarter to 3:00
00:50:54 Well, what if I was?
00:50:57 - Derek.
00:50:59 While your husband's thinking it over
00:51:02 We believe that Binney and one or two others
00:51:06 It looks as if your husband's
00:51:09 And don't imagine
00:51:11 is like trying to slip a few pairs
00:51:14 It's not.
00:51:16 Talk to me.
00:51:18 There is something to know then.
00:51:23 Look, you've got a first-class war record.
00:51:25 You can leave that out. They seem to, anyhow,
00:51:29 I've got a job. Supposed to be good where I come
00:51:34 But I couldn't afford to have a whiskey and soda
00:51:37 - I can't either.
00:51:39 And I don't think that's so funny
00:51:42 But I'd rather go and dig ditches
00:51:45 trying to make easy money
00:51:52 Like to tell me anything?
00:51:59 All right, I'll see you in the morning.
00:52:01 Think it over.
00:52:03 - Good night, Mrs. Rockingham.
00:52:11 Oh, Derek, how could you?
00:52:13 I know. I've been a stupid ape.
00:52:16 If only I could find a way of paying the bill,
00:52:20 If I get 100 quid
00:52:22 Oh, if, if, if.
00:52:24 Isn't there anybody here
00:52:27 If there isn't, I'm for it.
00:52:29 I must phone a fellow
00:52:32 May take time though.
00:52:34 No, I couldn't.
00:52:39 - Good night. Thanks for the game.
00:52:42 - Good night.
00:52:44 Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Good night.
00:52:47 Sleep well.
00:52:53 Ooh, that's a nice little packet,
00:52:59 Listen, George, old cock,
00:53:02 Now, look, I've got six fish restaurants,
00:53:07 and I'm starting two more.
00:53:09 Why don't you come in with me, Georgie?
00:53:12 You're one of those lucky boys.
00:53:15 You don't have to put any money up,
00:53:19 Thanks, Joe...
00:53:21 but it's no use.
00:53:25 I have to go away soon.
00:53:27 Must you go?
00:53:29 - Looks like it,
00:53:34 A long way, Joe.
00:53:42 And I'm sorry,
00:53:51 What's the matter, old son?
00:54:03 Nothing.
00:54:06 Feel a bit muzzy.
00:54:16 - Good night, Georgie.
00:54:18 Thanks for the game.
00:55:00 - Oh, it's you.
00:55:03 It would have to be you, wouldn't it?
00:55:06 Needn't be.
00:55:10 No, I didn't mean it like that.
00:55:12 You're the one person here
00:55:15 We're in a terrible mess.
00:55:18 But after the way I behaved this afternoon,
00:55:22 I don't agree.
00:55:24 I gave you some advice unasked for...
00:55:26 and people who give advice
00:55:29 What do I do?
00:55:35 It's desperately urgent.
00:55:37 Then we must pay our bill here.
00:55:47 There's about a hundred here.
00:55:50 I'll look after the bill
00:55:53 - But can you -
00:55:59 I must have known from the first
00:56:03 There was always something about you.
00:56:05 Yes, but it's urgent.
00:56:07 Rockingham. Derek Rockingham.
00:56:10 Oh, very well!
00:56:18 Derek!
00:56:20 Darling, it's all right. Our troubles are over.
00:56:24 And he'll pay our hotel bill tomorrow.
00:56:26 My dear chap, this is terrific.
00:56:30 - God knows when I'll be able to pay you back.
00:56:33 Oh, no, I say, this is one time
00:56:37 I mean, you have to find a man
00:56:43 And I'll be hard to find.
00:56:47 Oh, but what about a drink
00:56:50 No, thanks.
00:56:54 Rum bloke.
00:56:57 Darling, you're shivering.
00:57:00 Let's go in.
00:57:13 Thought you'd still be playing poker,
00:57:18 Winning too, weren't you?
00:57:20 How do you know?
00:57:22 Well, the waiter who brought your drinks
00:57:26 What'd you do with the winnings?
00:57:28 Give them away?
00:57:34 - Yes.
00:57:37 I'll bet she wheedled them out of you.
00:57:40 Have you got to be so hard
00:57:43 Yes. And don't start pawing me about
00:57:51 It wasn't like that.
00:57:56 I can see now you're the sort of woman
00:57:59 but it wasn't like that.
00:58:03 What was it like then?
00:58:06 It's late.
00:58:10 I feel miserable.
00:58:14 Not close to anyone.
00:58:16 On my own,
00:58:19 Oh, no, I wouldn't know
00:58:22 And I suddenly thought
00:58:25 Well, I'm sorry I spoke like that to you.
00:58:29 - It's all right.
00:58:32 And nothing's all right about you,
00:58:35 Why don't you get away from here?
00:58:40 Because I don't know how to make myself
00:59:02 You aren't leaving, are you?
00:59:04 Yes. At least I think so.
00:59:06 - Well, nobody told me.
00:59:09 - Going home?
00:59:12 - Going to some other hotel?
00:59:15 - What are the other hotels here?
00:59:19 Posh?
00:59:21 Posh-ish. Much bigger than this.
00:59:25 Well, I'll go and see
00:59:28 Now you pop off, Maggie.
00:59:32 What's the matter with everybody
00:59:34 All creating.
00:59:36 That Miss Fox crying because
00:59:40 Fair old stinker.
00:59:43 Maggie, ask Miss Fox if she would
00:59:47 Okeydokey.
01:00:08 Come in.
01:00:13 - Oh, Mr. Bird, it's so good of you.
01:00:19 Miss Fox, is it true
01:00:22 After five years
01:00:25 It was all so sudden and so -
01:00:29 Just because of last night.
01:00:33 What will you do now, Miss Fox?
01:00:35 I don't know, I'm sure, Mr. Bird.
01:00:37 What would you like to do,
01:00:40 Sometimes my cousin and I have talked
01:00:44 Giftee Shoppee,
01:00:47 You know, just a quaint,
01:00:49 but though she has a little money of her own
01:00:54 How much would you want to start it?
01:01:02 Oh, no, Mr. Bird. It's very kind,
01:01:05 I'll lend it to you then. You can pay it back
01:01:09 Oh, Mr. Bird,
01:01:12 Miss Fox! Miss Fox!
01:01:14 This is your chance. Take it.
01:01:16 Miss Fox, where are you?
01:01:19 Don't answer. Or tell her to go to blazes.
01:01:21 Miss Fox, where are you?
01:01:24 I'm here, Lady Oswington.
01:01:30 Miss Fox, just this once
01:01:34 - Oh, thank you, Lady Oswington.
01:01:37 Oh, yes, Lady Oswington.
01:01:39 Well, I don't. I'd rather have anything,
01:01:43 I wasn't aware that anybody asked
01:01:46 Come along, Miss Fox. I don't know
01:01:49 I'd better ask Sir Herbert when I see him.
01:01:52 It shouldn't be long now.
01:02:07 Oi! Anybody there?
01:02:09 You're wasting your breath, chum,
01:02:12 - Pulled who out?
01:02:15 The whole issue. On strike.
01:02:17 Yes, they're all out.
01:02:19 Came down from Amalgamated Unions
01:02:22 and now you couldn't get
01:02:24 - You staying in Pinebourne?
01:02:26 - Thought of coming here.
01:02:29 I'm pulling them out after tea.
01:02:32 You won't get a sausage
01:02:34 - Well, I'm a busy man. Cheerio.
01:02:39 I've just left a 15-stone woman
01:02:43 That'll do her more good than I can.
01:02:47 Oh, thanks very much.
01:02:49 - Tried to golf here yet?
01:02:52 You don't, eh?
01:02:55 Oh, just live for pleasure.
01:02:57 I hope you don't mind me
01:02:59 but can you tell me anything
01:03:02 Shouldn't have thought you'd heard of that.
01:03:05 Of course,
01:03:07 but you don't hear
01:03:10 Lampington.
01:03:12 Oh, yes, Sir Trevor,
01:03:14 If you wouldn't mind signing the register.
01:03:18 I'm here to spend the night
01:03:21 Really, Sir Trevor?
01:03:23 Mmm.
01:03:26 - Thank you, Sir, Trevor.
01:03:31 Sir Trevor, it's a very great pleasure
01:03:34 - Indeed? Who are you?
01:03:37 Sir Robert has told me of you...
01:03:39 and I arranged to make for you tonight
01:03:42 Oh? What would that be?
01:03:44 Some nice hors d'oeuvres,
01:03:47 Poison!
01:03:49 All you will make for me would be
01:03:53 Oil
01:03:57 I'm just warning you, chum.
01:03:59 If you give him this special, nice dinner tonight,
01:04:03 I don't know you.
01:04:09 - Union member?
01:04:12 Twelve-hour sympathetic strike.
01:04:15 You pass the word round the rest of you in front
01:04:18 - I'm pulling everybody out.
01:04:28 Mrs. Rockingham.
01:04:32 Oh, bless you for this.
01:04:36 I couldn't sleep a wink last night.
01:04:44 What are you doing?
01:04:46 I've stopped it just to talk to you
01:04:49 You see, I couldn't thank you properly last night.
01:04:52 - Oh, that's all right.
01:04:55 I've been a pig, and you're heaven.
01:05:05 - Ringing for the lift?
01:05:08 - Haven't seen Mr. Bird, have you?
01:05:12 I'm tired of all this fuss
01:05:14 I'm so sorry. I can't think what can have happened.
01:05:18 Not very efficient, is it,
01:05:21 Some of us are still busy men,
01:05:24 And some of us have to keep on being busy
01:05:27 Oh, it's coming up now.
01:05:32 Ah, Mr. Bird!
01:05:34 See you later.
01:05:37 Mr. Bird, you were complaining
01:05:40 - Oh, was I?
01:05:46 This afternoon then?
01:05:53 - What's all this about the window?
01:05:55 I must have an excuse to talk to you,
01:05:59 Well, Mr. Bird, I'm afraid there's only one thing
01:06:03 and that's to wedge them,
01:06:06 I see.
01:06:09 I wanted to give you a chance to explain
01:06:14 - I didn't sleep a wink.
01:06:16 I... wouldn't take
01:06:19 I didn't mean to be angry with you.
01:06:22 But there's no need
01:06:24 Don't take any notice of that.
01:06:27 - I think that's better. Don't you, Mr. Bird?
01:06:30 Oh, I think so, Mrs. Poole,
01:06:34 I don't understand you.
01:06:36 What is the matter with you?
01:06:39 I'll tell you
01:06:41 For years -years - nothing happened.
01:06:48 Win over a hundred at poker,
01:06:51 shares in subsoilers, run holiday camps,
01:06:54 Oh, shh. Be quiet.
01:06:56 And when I try to tell somebody about it,
01:07:00 Please, be quiet.
01:07:02 and we could go out together
01:07:05 I can't this afternoon.
01:07:07 I promised to go a walk.
01:07:09 - With that Rockingham girl?
01:07:12 Then you're even sillier
01:07:15 Now, Mr. Bird,
01:07:39 Waiter!
01:07:43 I'll have another cake.
01:07:46 Have 'em all, ma'am.
01:08:07 - Waiter,
01:08:09 - Waiter.
01:08:11 - W-W-Waiter.
01:08:13 Waiter?
01:08:16 I want somebody to help Williamson
01:08:18 for the National Agricultural
01:08:20 - You do?
01:08:22 Unless I can find someone at once, Pennington
01:08:26 - And we've had enough of that.
01:08:28 Mm-hmm.
01:08:30 This might look good too,
01:08:34 one of the people
01:08:36 You mean -
01:08:38 I mean I'm offering you an appointment
01:08:44 Sorry. Can't take it.
01:08:47 - Did you ring for some more tea, Prescott?
01:08:51 This isn't a political appointment,
01:08:54 You'll notice that I haven't asked
01:08:57 - No, you haven't, have you?
01:09:00 we're the only people who could keep
01:09:04 If it wasn't for us and the confidence
01:09:07 you'd have rising prices, industrial disputes,
01:09:11 - What about that tea, Prescott?
01:09:15 You won't get any more tea.
01:09:18 Excuse me.
01:09:20 - Go on, speak to them.
01:09:22 Yes.
01:09:24 Ladies and gentlemen,
01:09:28 Mr. Bird.
01:09:30 I only wanted to say,
01:09:33 then we'd better look after ourselves.
01:09:35 Won't do us any harm. So let's get together
01:09:38 Good old George, I'll run the bar,
01:09:40 Oh, no, you won't. You and your bar.
01:09:42 And if I get some help in the kitchen,
01:09:46 There you are.
01:09:48 Then I put it into casserole.
01:09:50 Put in the onions and fry the bacon.
01:09:54 Some herbs.
01:09:58 Pieces of rabbit.
01:10:00 And let it simmer
01:10:04 And then I put it potatoes,
01:10:07 Again it simmers.
01:10:10 And then lapin en gibelotte,
01:10:13 Just good cooking
01:10:17 Everybody hard at it, eh?
01:10:19 Splendid. Splendid.
01:10:24 Yep, too many blinking knives and forks
01:10:29 All goes down the same way too,
01:10:31 Still, when you gotta lay 'em out like this,
01:10:38 Oh, tables being laid.
01:10:40 That's the spirit. Great show.
01:10:45 That's right. All pulling together.
01:10:49 Next time I'm gonna be one of them blokes.
01:10:53 Terrible amount of waste labor
01:10:56 Oughtn't to be difficult to invent
01:10:59 I'm sure I look nicer
01:11:01 - That's enough, Mr. Chalfont.
01:11:05 - Everyone in full production, Bird?
01:11:08 I almost feel like kissing you again.
01:11:12 - Hasn't anybody ever said that to you before?
01:11:16 Poor darling. But why?
01:11:19 I don't know. Just getting up, working,
01:11:24 Like millions of other chaps.
01:11:26 I'm surprised
01:11:28 Now, that's enough.
01:11:33 Go on. Scoot.
01:11:37 Regal Hotel.
01:11:39 Speak up. Don't mumble.
01:11:42 Do we what?
01:11:44 Of course we take young children.
01:11:46 What are their names?
01:11:49 Oh, but how sweet.
01:11:52 I had a cousin - or rather, a second cousin,
01:11:57 she was a Dulcibella.
01:11:59 She ran away with a Greek sea captain.
01:12:04 Noise? Why shouldn't
01:12:07 And if I'm here I'll make a noise with them.
01:12:14 Good afternoon.
01:12:16 No. I've got a room here.
01:12:20 Answering the telephone.
01:12:24 Oh, it's monstrous.
01:12:27 And you're too old to stand there talking
01:12:33 Silly old duffer.
01:12:35 Time we had a wet,
01:12:38 Good evening, gentlemen. Come in.
01:12:40 The bar's open.
01:12:43 Don't breathe on those glasses!
01:12:45 Most people crumble the bread
01:12:48 And in this, as in so many other matters,
01:12:52 The pieces of bread -
01:12:57 should be placed in the bowl...
01:12:59 and the milk poured over the bread.
01:13:03 A pinch of sugar is added.
01:13:06 And then what have you got?
01:13:08 A poor basin of slops
01:13:11 Aye, a good dinner.
01:13:13 A capital dinner,
01:13:16 Hear! Hear!
01:13:18 Aye, and to whoever it was among us
01:13:21 that instead of sitting down and girning
01:13:25 - Hear! Hear!
01:13:27 Well, I think we've all shown
01:13:31 Oh, no, you don't. Bird arranged all this.
01:13:33 - Up you come. You're the boy we want.
01:13:37 Oh, our friend Mr. Bird, was it?
01:13:47 Thanks very much.
01:13:49 I think several of us
01:13:52 so I don't deserve any special thanks,
01:13:56 I don't know why most of you came here,
01:13:59 It was a sort of last chance.
01:14:02 Somehow I didn't enjoy myself,
01:14:05 But tonight's been different.
01:14:08 No, and don't forget, Georgie boy,
01:14:11 We haven't just passed the time.
01:14:14 We have... filled it
01:14:17 And there's a lot to be said for that because
01:14:24 No, uh...
01:14:26 all I wanted to say was...
01:14:30 don't thank me.
01:14:32 Let me thank you...
01:14:35 all of you, for tonight.
01:14:37 You gave m -
01:14:47 If you're interested, Sir Robert, it's all set.
01:14:51 And my group can manufacture them.
01:14:53 But they've still got to be marketed
01:14:56 And there's the man. He started me on the idea,
01:15:00 What do you say to that, Mr. Birdie?
01:15:02 Much obliged,
01:15:05 You're just wasting your time.
01:15:07 I must say I'm surprised
01:15:09 About to say the same, old man. It's a wonderful
01:15:13 Aye. It's a great chance to benefit not only
01:15:18 But you're like so many others nowadays -
01:15:22 So you won't take it, eh?
01:15:24 - It's not that I won't. I can't.
01:15:26 In my young days, my dear young man,
01:15:29 Oh, what's the use?
01:15:31 Look, I can't take this job
01:15:34 because quite soon I'm going to die.
01:15:37 You're what?
01:15:39 Die. Pass on.
01:15:41 - Kick the bucket.
01:15:44 For years and years I go on and on
01:15:47 Then when I'm going to die, I come here,
01:15:54 Money.
01:15:56 Travel. Jobs. Influence.
01:16:01 Just because I'm going to die.
01:16:03 One moment, my friend.
01:16:06 You look healthy enough to me.
01:16:08 If you must know,
01:16:12 Lampington's disease?
01:16:14 Do you know who you're talking to?
01:16:17 Uh, Sir-
01:16:19 Sir Trevor Lampington,
01:16:23 and if you've got Lampington's disease...
01:16:25 I'm in the Sadler's Wells Ballet.
01:16:27 Are you quite sure?
01:16:33 That you're suffering
01:16:54 Mrs. Poole! Mrs. Poole!
01:16:59 Shh! Don't make such a noise!
01:17:01 It's all been a mistake!
01:17:12 - Nice morning,
01:17:14 Can I speak to Mr. Clarence
01:17:16 Twenty-five. Mr. Bird to speak
01:17:18 - You look different, Mr. Bird.
01:17:21 Well, don't be too happy. There's a something
01:17:23 - Nonsense.
01:17:26 Joe, something tremendous
01:17:28 I must get back to Chanbury
01:17:30 and I wondered if I could borrow
01:17:33 Then I could be back here by teatime.
01:17:36 And you.
01:17:44 My tank's nearly full.
01:17:46 - Not later than 6:00, even if I take it easy.
01:17:49 Well, seems a bit nippy.
01:17:52 - I'll say so long, George.
01:17:54 - See you tonight, old son?
01:18:00 Hello. Came down with the milk.
01:18:04 - Only for the day.
01:18:06 I fixed everything, thanks to you, Bird.
01:18:10 You pop up and see Sheila.
01:18:13 All right, driver.
01:18:18 Your call to Chanbury, Sir Trevor.
01:18:21 Thank you.
01:18:29 Is that Dr. Pevensey?
01:18:32 Yes, I gather you're a busy man.
01:18:34 In fact, so busy that it's just about 50-to-1
01:18:37 at the wrong set of X-ray plates.
01:18:39 This is Lampington.
01:18:43 Lampington, the man whose disease
01:18:47 Now, stop being busy for a moment
01:18:51 - I told Bird it was thanks to him.
01:18:55 - What happened in town?
01:18:57 Got a quick passage somewhere
01:19:00 It's all right now.
01:19:05 - Yes, there is.
01:19:08 Yes.
01:19:11 This is the last time.
01:19:13 Either we pay our way and go straight,
01:19:18 I love you.
01:19:20 But if you want me to stay with you...
01:19:23 there must be no more
01:19:29 I promise.
01:19:33 - I'll do my best.
01:19:36 No.
01:19:38 Tomorrow.
01:19:40 I want to see Bird again, just once.
01:19:43 I want him to feel
01:19:46 Good girl.
01:19:56 Lovely day for the road.
01:19:59 That's right, Cecil.
01:20:01 I'd like to take a lovely lorry out
01:20:04 Go on, enjoy yourself, Cecil.
01:20:06 That's just what I intend to do, Noel.
01:20:19 There's no doubt about it.
01:20:22 I must have been looking
01:20:25 I remember now, Doctor,
01:20:27 There was another man who looked
01:20:31 Oh!
01:20:33 The chap who was so indignant when I told him
01:20:36 Those must have been Bird's plates.
01:20:38 After what I told Bird,
01:20:41 - Probably a good thing for us he did.
01:20:44 About the last man I'd like to see
01:20:47 Come along. Let's get on.
01:20:51 Next, please.
01:20:56 - Well?
01:21:00 And Bird is the name.
01:21:03 - And Bird is his name and he's not rich at all?
01:21:06 Now do you understand, Joe?
01:21:08 Poor George thought he had
01:21:11 So he couldn't start anything,
01:21:13 That's right,
01:21:15 when something he said
01:21:18 As I said to Miss Fox,
01:21:21 the one that went to Australia
01:21:23 Yes, but our nice Mr. Bird isn't going to die,
01:21:26 - I really think we ought to do something about it.
01:21:30 - Can't see what the fuss is about.
01:21:33 Fellow was exactly what I said he was, except
01:21:36 Only told him he was booked
01:21:38 If he thought he was going to die,
01:21:41 'Cause he wanted
01:21:44 That's right, isn't it, Mrs. Poole?
01:21:46 You girls get on with your work
01:21:49 But somebody ought to have
01:21:52 I knew there was something.
01:21:55 There is only one thing to do,
01:21:58 Mr. Bird, who I like very much
01:22:02 and now he live, which is
01:22:06 So tonight I give for him a very special dinner
01:22:11 and we say how much we like him
01:22:14 That's the talk, Harry boy.
01:22:33 - Afternoon.
01:22:36 - Taking him up the vet's?
01:22:39 Poor old sausage.
01:22:42 Might as well.
01:22:46 All right, Perc, get down then.
01:22:49 Have a last sniff round.
01:22:51 - What's this I hear about your friend?
01:23:09 I'm sorry we have to wait so long.
01:23:11 Well, Gambini, this may be Bird's dinner,
01:23:14 and I'm tired waiting for it,
01:23:17 I must say, I agree with Sir Robert.
01:23:20 - Aye, no right to keep us waiting.
01:23:23 Well, of course,
01:23:26 As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to think
01:23:30 - You mean this dinner?
01:23:32 A doctor made a mistake, that's all.
01:23:38 The Regal Hotel...
01:23:41 Pine -
01:23:45 Pinebourne.
01:23:49 Tell them.
01:23:53 And give my love to -
01:24:00 my love to -
01:24:06 Give my love to them all.
01:24:16 Funny thing.
01:24:20 Thought I was going to die.
01:24:25 Right after all.
01:24:30 Just had to happen.
01:24:35 But it's all right, you know.
01:24:41 Not bad at all.
01:24:49 Good thing, really.
01:24:53 Not bad.
01:25:03 Good.
01:25:07 Well, I do think he might have turned up.
01:25:09 - He's got your car too, hasn't he?
01:25:12 I suppose it's all right
01:25:15 But I know Sir Herbert
01:25:17 I'm thinking it may be just possible
01:25:20 Oh, well, no harm done, really, eh?
01:25:22 - Oh, no, he's nice, Mr. Bird.
01:25:26 I talked to him about a job, but there
01:25:29 - No proof.
01:25:31 I'm beginning to think
01:25:33 You were a wee bit overhasty.
01:25:36 But he seemed to have something
01:25:38 Might have been 'cause he was feeling he was
01:25:41 I believe that's just it, Mr. Clarence.
01:25:43 Now, of course, it's different.
01:25:46 Seemed to me a commonplace sort of chap,
01:25:48 Not above throwing his weight about.
01:25:50 But he never pretended to be anything else.
01:25:54 - He was -
01:25:58 I don't know.
01:26:01 Let's talk about something else.
01:26:08 Regal Hotel, Pinebourne.
01:26:11 Yes?
01:26:13 Yes?
01:26:15 Bird? Yes, he was -
01:26:20 What?
01:26:25 Mrs. Poole speaking.
01:26:35 Yes, all right.
01:26:37 I'll tell them.
01:26:56 As you know, it was at this stage
01:27:00 that we'd planned
01:27:03 - Well, I think we still ought to have it.
01:27:06 But with one little modification.
01:27:08 As our friend Bird has not condescended
01:27:12 we're doing without him.
01:27:14 - And, in my humble opinion, doing very well.
01:27:17 And we can still drink a toast -
01:27:20 And why not, ladies and gentlemen?
01:27:22 A doctor made a mistake.
01:27:25 But like Mr, Bird, who's probably
01:27:29 that he perhaps adorns more gracefully
01:27:32 we're all alive too -
01:27:34 alive and kicking too!
01:27:36 Perhaps in some ways
01:27:41 I'm sorry to interrupt you.
01:27:43 I think you'd like to know