American Pie Presents Beta House

en
00:00:48 Man, will you look at all the hot tail
00:00:48 Man, will you look at all the hot tail
00:00:51 Look, look. Oh, God.
00:00:53 Dad, listen, could you just... Please,
00:00:57 - Embarrass you?
00:00:58 Son, you spent the entire summer depressed
00:01:00 because your girlfriend ran off
00:01:03 Now, you gotta get out there
00:01:06 It's the only way to get your mind off her.
00:01:07 - Yes. Yes, that is what I'm talking about.
00:01:10 "Crush some ass"? Oh, come on.
00:01:12 Wait, wait, wait.
00:01:14 - I'll show you how it's done.
00:01:17 Watch this. Just watch and learn.
00:01:18 Excuse me, ladies? Hi. Hi.
00:01:21 - This is my son, Erik.
00:01:25 And he's moving in today,
00:01:28 and we were just wondering
00:01:32 in showing him a good time?
00:01:34 No, thanks.
00:01:36 Oh!
00:01:38 I'm sorry.
00:01:39 - He's a stallion, just like his old man!
00:01:43 Well, I tried, Erik.
00:01:44 Yeah, thanks.
00:01:50 - Son, son?
00:01:51 I want to show you something.
00:01:53 That is the list of all the chicks
00:01:57 Are you serious?
00:01:59 - Is that two-sided? It is! Nice!
00:02:01 Yeah. It's a good goal foryou to try
00:02:05 Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name
00:02:08 Uh...
00:02:09 We didn't tell you, but when you were three,
00:02:13 Trial...
00:02:15 Dad, there's like... Well,
00:02:18 Yeah, I went on kind of
00:02:20 Is that my mom's name?
00:02:22 Yeah, you know, on second thought,
00:02:24 Come on, guys. Let's get loaded here!
00:02:27 - I'm sorry.
00:02:30 - Did you have sex with his mom?
00:02:32 How was it?
00:02:42 Wow! This place is amazing.
00:02:45 Hi.
00:02:47 God, there are girls everywhere.
00:02:51 This is my room.
00:02:52 It still kind of sucks
00:02:54 Dude, whatever.
00:02:57 Besides, I got a single.
00:02:58 - Hold on to this. I'm gonna find a bathroom.
00:03:00 I'll be right back.
00:03:03 Hi, how you doing?
00:03:11 Wow. This is gonna
00:03:16 Yeah, isn't this the guy's bathroom?
00:03:19 No, it's coed. All the dorms are like this.
00:03:23 Cool, coed, yeah.
00:03:25 Don't worry. I won't peek.
00:03:27 Yeah, I won't peek... I won't peek, either.
00:03:30 I'm Ashley, what's your name?
00:03:34 Well, it's nice to meet you, Erik.
00:03:38 Hey, do you think you could pass me
00:03:43 - Yeah. Just give me a minute here, okay?
00:04:00 Erik?
00:04:05 Erik?
00:04:06 Alittle help here?
00:04:17 Ride the white whale, baby!
00:04:18 Ride the white whale.
00:04:20 - Oh, yeah.
00:04:22 I'm sorry, the doorwas...
00:04:23 - Hey, you must be Erik.
00:04:24 - I'm Bobby.
00:04:26 Hey.
00:04:27 - Come on in, man.
00:04:29 - You guys are busy. I can come back later.
00:04:32 and don't worry about Margie.
00:04:34 No, she's not.
00:04:36 - Sit down. You want a beer?.
00:04:39 - You sure?
00:04:41 Are you hungry?
00:04:45 - No, I just had a sandwich. Thanks.
00:04:48 - Where're you from?
00:04:50 East Great Falls.
00:04:54 Slow down, sassy pants.
00:04:56 All right, baby?
00:04:59 Yeah.
00:05:00 - College! Yeah! Best years of our lives!
00:05:05 Put it up.
00:05:07 Oh, high...
00:05:11 You wanna jump in on this?
00:05:12 - Come on. Margie loves it.
00:05:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm good.
00:05:16 Look, it was very nice to meet you,
00:05:19 Actually, I just came
00:05:21 I spilled a drink on it earlier,
00:05:26 Are you role-playing again?
00:05:28 Say the safe word, baby. Say the safe...
00:05:32 - Dude, I think she's choking!
00:05:34 I think she's choking.
00:05:35 - Do something.
00:05:36 I'm tied up and basted
00:05:38 All right, all right, all right. I got it.
00:05:41 Oh, my Jesus.
00:05:42 What do you want me to do with all this...
00:05:44 Get out!
00:05:45 - Erik? No!
00:05:48 All right, son!
00:05:50 Yeah! That's what being a Stifler's all about.
00:05:53 - No, no, no. She was choking.
00:05:55 - I was helping her.
00:05:56 Now, let's just give these kids some privacy.
00:05:59 Doing good. Keep it up.
00:06:03 I'm not trying to freak you out, roomie,
00:06:36 Is this where
00:06:43 Yeah, I'm Laura Johnson
00:06:47 My name is Dwight Stifler.
00:06:48 I'm here with the
00:06:50 and I've been given instructions
00:06:52 on a guided tour of the entire campus.
00:06:54 - That's so sweet.
00:06:57 Should we wear anything special?
00:07:02 Dude, there is no way that everybody
00:07:06 Look, he's holding her boob.
00:07:08 He is.
00:07:09 No, man, they are.
00:07:13 That'll be good.
00:07:15 That's not a cologne ad.
00:07:17 I've used that exact issue
00:07:24 You smell pretty.
00:07:28 - Sorry.
00:07:34 - Wow.
00:07:38 Yeah.
00:07:45 Welcome to college, boys.
00:07:49 Yeah. No, I wouldn't lie to you.
00:07:51 Most sororities won't even give you a bid
00:07:53 It shows that you work well
00:07:55 and that you're really prepared
00:07:57 You know what I'm saying?
00:07:58 - Really?
00:08:00 Oh, man. Who is this guy?
00:08:01 Dude, he's the reason we came
00:08:10 - You like that?
00:08:11 You have to give a little bit back
00:08:14 - Hey, hey, shower buddy!
00:08:17 Shower buddy?
00:08:18 Yeah, Erik and I met
00:08:21 - Really?
00:08:23 Oh, right, the coed bathrooms. Yeah.
00:08:25 It took me about three years
00:08:27 to approve that one. Worth it.
00:08:29 Oh, Ashley, hi. This...
00:08:31 Everyone, this is Ashley.
00:08:33 Hi, everybody.
00:08:35 This is my roommate, Denise.
00:08:37 Hey, y'all.
00:08:39 Well, I do declare, a real life Scarlett O'Hara.
00:08:42 Oh, my.
00:08:43 Well, hey, you guys aren't taking off,
00:08:45 Yeah, we're going to this cocktail mixer
00:08:48 Oh, no, no, no. The Geek House?
00:08:51 - I wanna stay but...
00:08:54 Plus, Ashley thinks this party
00:08:57 What? Like sleazy?
00:08:59 Hey, baby. How you doing, sweetheart?
00:09:01 No, you got the wrong idea
00:09:03 Look, this is just a little meet and greet
00:09:06 you know, demonstrate our school spirit
00:09:07 and our, you know,
00:09:10 Beta House fucking rules!
00:09:20 Real classy.
00:09:23 - Erik, it was really nice to see you again.
00:09:25 - Guys, till next time.
00:09:27 Bye, guys.
00:09:28 - It's nice to meet you.
00:09:30 Hey, Stifler,
00:09:33 Yeah, I never even heard of it.
00:09:34 I know a Geek house sounds harmless,
00:09:40 They were a social club for decades,
00:09:41 till a group of rich geeks came in
00:09:44 built the house, got a new charter.
00:09:46 Wait, a geek fraternity?
00:09:47 To get in,
00:09:49 Transfer $2 million to my Swiss account.
00:09:52 Then they check your family tree
00:09:55 No, I said buy at 60, not sell at 60.
00:09:59 They got billionaire alumni.
00:10:00 They got billionaire alumni.
00:10:00 Hey, it's only 100 grand.
00:10:02 They run the student government,
00:10:07 But don't even get me started
00:10:10 They attract the most beautiful women
00:10:14 Who wants to hang out
00:10:18 It's a new world out there.
00:10:20 These women realise
00:10:22 right out of school.
00:10:24 They've just adjusted their nesting habits.
00:10:29 Hey, don't sweat it.
00:10:32 Look out!
00:10:40 Judging?
00:10:50 Oh, the Beta House never disappoints.
00:10:53 - Are you serious? It's always like this?
00:10:57 - These girls are ridiculous.
00:11:07 Sweetie, you are naughty.
00:11:12 Bring that ruler. I've also been bad.
00:11:16 And this one over here's got great abs.
00:11:18 They look like fresh buttered rolls
00:11:21 This is the best idea I've ever had!
00:11:26 - No, I just... I can't handle it.
00:11:38 She's pulling them out.
00:11:45 Perfect 10!
00:11:51 - Beta! Beta!
00:11:56 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:12:00 Sex, alcohol, vulgarity, stupidity.
00:12:06 Once, this was a respected institution
00:12:09 We are declaring a new age
00:12:12 An age in which a student's worth
00:12:14 is no longer measured
00:12:16 but rather, his GPA.
00:12:19 We formed this fraternity to change the way
00:12:25 But as history has proven,
00:12:28 for a new civilization to emerge,
00:12:31 another must crumble.
00:12:36 We must destroy the Betas.
00:12:46 Hey, Stacey, my hands are wet.
00:12:49 Will you do it for me?
00:12:55 Thanks. Those Kegel muscle exercises
00:13:00 So what do we have to do to become Betas?
00:13:03 Well, obviously, you guys are cool with me.
00:13:05 What you need to do
00:13:07 - Have you guys met Wesley?
00:13:08 You haven't? All right.
00:13:10 Come on, I'll introduce you. Follow me.
00:13:18 Don't be fooled by his appearance.
00:13:19 His nickname is the Blackout Menace.
00:13:22 He's a perfect student,
00:13:24 except for his habit
00:13:26 blacking out,
00:13:29 and never remembering a thing.
00:13:41 Uh...
00:13:42 Excuse me. Where is this plane going to?
00:13:45 Detroit.
00:13:47 Thank God.
00:13:51 All right, excuse me.
00:13:55 Bangkok.
00:13:59 - Whose kid is that?
00:14:03 Congratulations.
00:14:08 Hey, buddy.
00:14:11 Are you serious?
00:14:12 Yep, just dropped Sung Lee off
00:14:17 Kid nearly caused an international incident.
00:14:20 Wesley!
00:14:22 Sorry to interrupt.
00:14:26 - Hi.
00:14:27 - Erik, right?
00:14:29 Mike Coozeman.
00:14:32 I was in a Mexican jail.
00:14:35 But I made it back in time for finals
00:14:39 education.
00:14:41 Right.
00:14:42 - You wanna dance?
00:14:45 Let's get sexy.
00:14:49 Hey, you ready?
00:14:51 There's a hundred hot horny chicks
00:15:12 Get some, baby! Get some!
00:15:29 Call me irresponsible
00:15:33 Call me unreliable
00:15:37 Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
00:15:41 Are you gonna start drinking?
00:15:44 No, I'm not drinking tonight, Bull.
00:15:48 Oh, really? Really? That's fine.
00:15:52 Because then I just might have
00:15:54 about a certain frat boy
00:15:58 All right, all right, all right.
00:16:00 One drink.
00:16:03 Yeah, just one.
00:16:24 Hey.
00:16:26 What the hell's with you, man?
00:16:27 Can you not see all this prime ass
00:16:30 Yeah, man, I see. It's... It's pretty cool.
00:16:32 Yeah, it's cool. You should be tearing it up!
00:16:35 You guys, it's just...
00:16:36 Remember last year?
00:16:38 You know, I did stuff I neverwould
00:16:42 and I kind of figured it would change me.
00:16:43 Yeah, okay.
00:16:46 But you blew it
00:16:48 to run home and have sex
00:16:51 Yeah, Erik. That stunt might
00:16:53 - but this isn't high school.
00:16:55 I guess you guys are right.
00:16:56 Listen, college is your one chance
00:16:59 You get to hit the reset button on life.
00:17:02 - Never thought of it like that before.
00:17:09 - That a boy. Julie, this is my cousin, Erik.
00:17:12 I just wanted you to know Erik voted
00:17:15 and since he's, like,
00:17:18 I totally trust his taste.
00:17:21 - You want to dance, gorgeous?
00:17:25 Anybody you wanna be. Yeah.
00:17:38 Wow, you can really put that away.
00:17:40 You kidding me?
00:17:49 Hey, hey, everybody,
00:17:51 We're just having
00:17:53 No big deal.
00:17:57 I don't think so, Stifler!
00:17:59 You see,
00:18:03 I'm afraid your music won't be coming on
00:18:06 Don't... Don't listen to him.
00:18:09 That won't matter
00:18:11 based on the amount
00:18:14 you should be running out, just about now.
00:18:17 - Bullshit.
00:18:21 We're out of fucking booze!
00:18:25 I know!
00:18:26 Settle down! It's fine. We'll make a beer run.
00:18:29 They could do that,
00:18:30 oryou can all come to the Geek House
00:18:35 along with all the champagne you can drink.
00:18:39 We also have a heated pool
00:18:43 That is, if you even want to wear one.
00:18:45 Yeah!
00:18:50 Are you fucking kidding me?
00:18:52 Oh, it's your choice, people.
00:18:54 - Stay here and get puked on...
00:18:56 Or come party, VIP style.
00:18:59 All right! Let's go! Let's go!
00:19:11 Fucking Edgar.
00:19:14 Prick really knows how
00:19:17 Oh, yeah.
00:19:19 Oh, but it doesn't help that numbnuts here
00:19:22 Yeah.
00:19:23 - Sorry about that.
00:19:28 - Erik, for crying out loud, man!
00:19:40 Not again.
00:19:45 Morning, sexy.
00:19:50 Some party, huh?
00:19:52 Hey, baby. How you doing?
00:19:56 No. No, no, no.
00:20:01 How you feeling there, cuz?
00:20:03 A lot better. Thanks.
00:20:06 No need for thanks, we're family.
00:20:08 Right now, I gotta run.
00:20:10 take care of some official Beta business.
00:20:12 - Have some of Peaches' eggs.
00:20:15 All right. Thanks, Peaches.
00:20:18 Oh, buddy.
00:20:23 - I need this place.
00:20:25 Yeah.
00:20:28 So, guys, the hard-on champ is in?
00:20:30 - Yeah!
00:20:31 Aye, aye.
00:20:36 Yeah, I love this guy.
00:20:38 Beta? I love Beta!
00:20:41 You like Beta, baby?
00:20:43 I fucking love Beta, baby!
00:20:46 Shut up! Shut up! Everyone calm down.
00:20:48 I told you I didn't want to drink.
00:20:49 Look how the pig squeals!
00:20:52 All in favour of Bobby Coolidge?
00:20:53 - Everyone.
00:20:55 - Aye, aye.
00:20:58 All right, all right.
00:21:01 Oh, man!
00:21:04 Holy crap! Wow!
00:21:05 Man, this guy really knows
00:21:08 Give him a bid.
00:21:10 Yeah!
00:21:14 Oh, no!
00:21:16 Hey, hey, hey!
00:21:20 No offence, brother, okay? But I don't know
00:21:25 I'm with Bull on this one.
00:21:28 but he passed up sleeping
00:21:31 All right, all right, all right.
00:21:32 Look, I know Erik missed his big chance
00:21:35 that, I'm assuming, everybody in this room
00:21:38 - Am I right?
00:21:40 All right, does that mean
00:21:41 - Yes!
00:21:43 He was young and dumb
00:21:47 I think he's gonna surprise you
00:21:49 And anyway, he's a legacy,
00:21:51 So you can all fuck off.
00:21:54 - Aye.
00:21:56 Yeah, that's what I thought, bitches.
00:22:05 - Hey, you.
00:22:07 - We have to stop meeting like this.
00:22:13 - Are you okay?
00:22:18 You know, I think Denise has
00:22:22 She thinks he's sweet.
00:22:24 - Denise thinks Cooze is sweet?
00:22:32 - Wait, actually...
00:22:33 - I was thinking...
00:22:36 - Do you wanna go out with me once?
00:22:40 - Really?
00:22:43 Okay, keep...
00:23:01 What's going on?
00:23:03 This sucks.
00:23:05 Hey, guys. Don't go that way.
00:23:09 - Dude, I left the best sandwich in my dorm.
00:23:16 - Wait a second. Where are we?
00:23:19 Hey, guys. You wanna see something?
00:23:25 Yes.
00:23:43 Gentlemen,
00:23:45 today is the first day
00:23:48 You are the select few who have
00:23:53 Beta, baby!
00:23:58 Now, most fraternities do the pledging thing
00:24:03 Most pledging consists
00:24:07 designed to break you down.
00:24:09 But here at Beta,
00:24:11 I, Dwight Stifler, your pledge master,
00:24:16 to build teamwork and brotherhood.
00:24:21 Gentlemen, I give you your pledge board.
00:24:27 On this pledge board are 50 tasks
00:24:29 that you and your pledge brothers
00:24:32 if you want to become Betas.
00:24:34 To start things off,
00:24:36 I say we begin with my personal favourite,
00:24:49 Okay, so here's the low-down.
00:24:51 One of you has got to get your ass signed
00:24:57 All right, we're gonna go get a drink.
00:24:59 - Wesley...
00:25:00 Don't bother us.
00:25:04 Okay, who's gonna try and do this?
00:25:08 Oh, you guys, I got this. Who's got a pen?
00:25:15 Hey, baby, how's about signing my ass
00:25:26 She got Cooze! We gotta help him!
00:25:30 Down goes fatty!
00:25:34 Stripper brawl!
00:25:38 Stifler, we need some help!
00:25:40 Oh, cousin got clothes-lined.
00:25:47 That's gonna leave a big bruise.
00:25:53 Those girls are wild tonight.
00:25:58 I used to fuck girls like you in prison.
00:26:03 - Oh, I love a good stripper brawl.
00:26:07 - You started it!
00:26:09 - You started it!
00:26:11 What? I didn't do anything.
00:26:13 You charged that stripper with a pen
00:26:16 Maybe if her panties
00:26:18 then you would have done something...
00:26:19 Shut up. Shut up!
00:26:21 ...some syrup. That idiot?
00:26:24 - Hey there, gorgeous. You work here?
00:26:28 You see,
00:26:30 and one of our tasks
00:26:34 A professional dancer like yourself.
00:26:37 So I was just, you know, wondering
00:26:40 That's a different approach
00:26:44 - Bend over.
00:26:46 My name's Erik Stifler, by the way.
00:26:48 Let me get one for the year book.
00:26:53 Nice smile.
00:26:55 - You have any relation to Dwight Stifler?
00:26:58 - Hey, Stifler.
00:27:01 Good to see you.
00:27:02 I can see where he gets his charm from.
00:27:05 - You come see me soon, okay?
00:27:08 All right, boys.
00:27:11 - In the bag! Done!
00:27:13 Good job, boys.
00:27:16 I think that stripper's implant broke my face.
00:27:30 Everyone, let's go.
00:28:23 Sweet Caesar's ghost!
00:28:32 Fifteen, check.
00:28:35 Sixteen, check.
00:28:48 Hmm.
00:28:56 - Who's that guy?
00:28:59 I have my proficiency exam next week.
00:29:01 - Nice!
00:29:02 Hey, what's...
00:29:06 It's from the Greek Olympiad.
00:29:09 It was, like, a series of competitions
00:29:12 They got really out of hand,
00:29:15 The Betas were legendary at them, though.
00:29:17 - Cool. Yeah.
00:29:19 Oh, and remember, Erik...
00:29:30 Yeah.
00:29:35 Swahili.
00:29:37 This place is swell, isn't it?
00:29:40 Look at how juicy.
00:29:42 Sucking the crab? Wow.
00:29:44 - This place is fun.
00:29:47 I thought you'd like it here, you know.
00:29:50 I like this mallet.
00:29:54 - Oh, my God. Are you okay? Here.
00:29:59 It doesn't really taste that bad.
00:30:01 Dude, I'm telling you,
00:30:04 I did her again last night!
00:30:06 Oh, I can't believe that. You're the man!
00:30:09 I think I know that girl.
00:30:10 You know,
00:30:13 I know. I guess I just have a jaded opinion.
00:30:15 Really? Why's that?
00:30:17 It's just the typical story.
00:30:19 Boy meets girl.
00:30:22 starts sleeping with every girl he can.
00:30:23 Girl finds out
00:30:27 But that was high school.
00:30:29 Right, older and wiser. And you're on a date
00:30:34 I know, and I'm watching you.
00:30:37 - Dine and ditch.
00:30:38 That's, like, one of my favourite plays of...
00:30:40 Oh, my God!
00:30:44 Little help here!
00:30:50 You are just the sweetest.
00:30:53 You just bring it out in me, babe.
00:30:59 - Perfect.
00:31:05 - Careful, my feet are real sensitive.
00:31:18 Oh, my.
00:31:21 I love foot massages.
00:31:27 Oh, my!
00:31:41 I can't!
00:31:49 - I'm sorry.
00:31:52 It's totally fine, really.
00:31:56 Here, let me just take care of you.
00:32:02 Okay.
00:32:05 Ooh!
00:32:13 - You like that?
00:32:16 You do that almost as good as I do.
00:32:26 How're you feeling?
00:32:28 Hey. Good, thanks.
00:32:31 - Here, let me see.
00:32:33 No, no. Ashley, it's...
00:32:34 Oh, my God, Erik.
00:32:37 No, it's just a little red.
00:32:39 Here, let me.
00:32:42 Are you sure?
00:32:44 It's not...
00:32:48 - Does it hurt?
00:32:52 Does that feel better?
00:32:56 Mmm-hmm.
00:32:58 Wow!
00:33:00 - Oh, man!
00:33:03 No, it's no big deal.
00:33:04 I guess I should just
00:33:06 - I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry.
00:33:10 Wow, that cream feels good.
00:33:13 Ash, you might wanna...
00:33:15 Just relax.
00:33:17 It's still hot.
00:33:45 Oh, my God! Mr Biggles!
00:33:57 - This is really, really embarrassing.
00:34:00 I just haven't seen anything like that.
00:34:04 Well, I was a virgin until last year,
00:34:06 and then my girlfriend dumped me
00:34:12 Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
00:34:17 In four months?
00:34:19 Well, you see, there was this incident
00:34:25 very taboo in my household.
00:34:29 Well, you have more self-control
00:34:33 I'm really sorry about Mr Biggles.
00:34:36 Yeah.
00:34:42 - Just a little... Right.
00:34:46 Oh, baby, I love you. Whoa, baby,
00:34:50 - Hey, Bull. Have you seen Stifler?
00:34:54 - What meeting would he be at?
00:34:57 And it was after my parents...
00:35:00 Well, they had to fire
00:35:06 because they caught me with them.
00:35:08 And that's when I knew that I had a problem.
00:35:13 But I have been sex-free for two years now
00:35:18 and, you know, never felt better.
00:35:27 You are so brave.
00:35:31 Get it in there! Yeah! Faster! Faster!
00:35:36 - I'm going as fast as I can.
00:35:42 Faster, I said!
00:35:45 - I think I'm gonna...
00:35:48 Yes! Yes!
00:35:50 God, yes.
00:35:54 Oh, boy.
00:36:06 You call yourself a man?
00:36:08 Get back here and fuck me!
00:36:13 Okay, okay. All right, listen.
00:36:17 I'm gonna go get an icepack
00:36:21 You know the secret,
00:36:28 Oh, your friend. He wants to come play!
00:36:31 I'm going to see you again!
00:36:37 - I'm a grizzly bear!
00:36:39 I'm gonna steal a picnic basket
00:36:43 Okay, lay your head back.
00:36:45 Ready? Are you ready for it?
00:36:48 Hands and feet inside the tram.
00:36:56 Hey, get back here!
00:37:01 Stifler, I forgot to tell you...
00:37:03 Whoa.
00:37:05 - Get your ass over here, punk.
00:37:15 Oh, dude. On her teddy bear? Really?
00:37:19 Dude, he hasn't busted a nut
00:37:21 What do you think I should do?
00:37:23 - Man, you gotta beat the bishop.
00:37:24 - You need to punch that clown. A lot.
00:37:29 - You need to masturbate, dude. A lot.
00:37:32 So next time you won't blow your load
00:37:35 Yeah.
00:37:52 Just gotta clean the pipes.
00:38:16 - Who is it?
00:38:18 We were gonna hang out, remember?.
00:38:22 Yeah! Yeah, I remember.
00:38:24 I... I lost track of time, Ashley.
00:38:28 - Are you okay in there?
00:38:31 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
00:38:35 Erik, are you naked?
00:38:36 Just putting on my t-shirt right now.
00:38:40 There it is.
00:38:41 Whew!
00:38:43 - Hi.
00:38:44 - Can I come in?
00:38:47 - Bobby's disgusting.
00:38:50 - But I know a cool place we can go.
00:38:59 All right. Right hand, yellow.
00:39:03 Ooh.
00:39:04 I love this game.
00:39:07 Don't you fall or you're losing those boxers.
00:39:09 Oh, really?
00:39:14 - Are you okay?
00:39:17 Ow.
00:39:19 - Hi.
00:39:36 I'm sorry.
00:39:38 - What? Are you a virgin or something or...
00:39:44 It's just when I... When I get too excited...
00:39:50 Oh, it's embarrassing.
00:39:57 Here.
00:39:59 - Let me just take care of you again.
00:40:07 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Cheers, cheers.
00:40:11 Mmm.
00:40:14 Let me get that for you.
00:40:24 It's not gonna go off again, is it?
00:40:26 Absolutely not.
00:40:29 Alot? Okay.
00:40:52 Come on.
00:40:53 Oh, just how much have
00:40:57 I'm really sorry. It's not working.
00:41:02 My stupid friends, they said that if I would...
00:41:05 Erik, it's okay. It happens.
00:41:08 Wine?
00:41:19 All right, boys. We got a live one here.
00:41:20 Two clicks north, three clicks east.
00:41:23 All right, three clicks east.
00:41:27 Let's blast our big giant ones.
00:41:29 Fire in the hole!
00:41:34 Direct hit!
00:41:36 - Yes!
00:41:41 I love the smell of boobies in the morning.
00:41:44 Hey, so how's it going with Denise?
00:41:46 Well, okay, so we hooked up
00:41:53 Hand jobs?
00:41:54 They're actually the best hand jobs
00:41:57 - Oh, really?
00:42:00 The only problem is
00:42:04 she keeps... Pulls my hands away.
00:42:06 She says she's embarrassed.
00:42:07 Uh-oh.
00:42:08 - Maybe she has an abnormally large bush.
00:42:14 - Come on.
00:42:16 Huh?
00:42:17 What? Crying Game? Boys Don't Cry?
00:42:19 - That's based on true stories, boys.
00:42:22 - Yeah.
00:42:23 Hey, man, maybe she's a hermaphrodite.
00:42:25 Transvestite? Alittle Shanghai Surprise!
00:42:27 Well, come on. You said yourself,
00:42:28 she gives you the best hand jobs
00:42:31 Yeah, so?
00:42:32 So, how do you think she got so good at it?
00:42:35 Probably from working her own gear.
00:42:38 So you guys think that I might have been
00:42:41 Maybe. There's only one way to find out.
00:42:44 You gotta get into those pants.
00:42:47 Oh, wait. This is too perfect.
00:42:54 - What the...
00:42:56 Yeah!
00:43:11 I want you to go down on me, Cooze.
00:43:13 Are you sure? Because I can wait.
00:43:16 No, I want you down there now.
00:43:21 That's it, Cooze.
00:43:31 That's it, Cooze.
00:43:33 Suck my cock!
00:43:34 She's got a dick!
00:43:37 Are you okay?
00:43:39 Oh, my God. I just had the worse nightmare.
00:43:43 What was it about? Who's got a dick?
00:43:47 I do.
00:43:57 Oh, my God.
00:43:59 I can't take this anymore.
00:44:18 Hello?
00:44:19 I thought you were gonna call me.
00:44:22 Oh, hey.
00:44:23 Yeah. I fell asleep.
00:44:25 I'm sorry.
00:44:28 Were you dreaming about me?
00:44:30 Maybe.
00:44:32 Hey, can you hold on for one sec?
00:44:36 Because this
00:44:40 isn't a dream.
00:44:47 Oh, God. That's not mine. That's Bobby's.
00:44:59 That's not mine.
00:45:16 Guys. What the hell are you doing?
00:45:19 Number 33, baby.
00:45:21 We got a chance to do number 33,
00:45:24 - Half-naked girl here.
00:45:26 Dude, the manager just called.
00:45:28 - We haven't even rehearsed for that bit yet.
00:45:33 Really?
00:45:35 Ashley, it is Number 33.
00:45:38 Maybe, we could just finish later
00:45:43 It's cool.
00:45:47 I'm coming with you.
00:45:50 - We rocked that place.
00:45:52 Awesome!
00:45:55 Number 46, sex in the stacks. Chalk it up.
00:46:02 Number 26, receive a golden shower.
00:46:04 Number 27, perform a Cleveland steamer.
00:46:07 - Check.
00:46:08 Get a panda in the grotto.
00:46:10 - Thirty, get a blumpkin.
00:46:13 After corned beef. It was disgusting.
00:46:16 - All right. Yeah. That was pretty good.
00:46:18 By the power granted to me
00:46:20 I now pronounce you life partners.
00:46:25 Would you like to seal it with a kiss?
00:46:27 - No.
00:46:28 Number 41. Make it official.
00:46:33 Because I'm a gentleman.
00:46:36 Wow. You boys are such an inspiration.
00:46:41 I think it's time we do
00:46:43 - What do you think?
00:46:54 Stifler, I'm afraid I gotta see everyone's IDs.
00:46:58 Come on, Manny. You're joking, right?
00:47:01 I'm afraid not.
00:47:02 You see, the new ownership
00:47:05 doesn't condone underage drinking.
00:47:06 Officers, please escort these minors
00:47:10 Can I touch your gun?
00:47:12 Bye-bye.
00:47:15 I'm not just fucking with your traditions,
00:47:20 Take him away.
00:47:24 You know, you are way too classy,
00:47:27 and have way too nice of a body to be
00:47:32 Don't listen to him, honey.
00:47:34 I'll have a gimlet, please. Thank you.
00:47:38 Stifler.
00:47:39 What?
00:47:41 Excellent. Thanks, Marty. Send him in.
00:47:44 You have a lawyer?.
00:47:48 Thanks for coming. I'm glad you got here.
00:47:50 Well, you know me.
00:47:53 - Betas for life, baby.
00:47:56 Mr Levenstein?
00:47:57 Hey, Erik. How's your mom and dad?
00:47:59 They're good. They're really good, actually.
00:48:01 - Well, that's good.
00:48:03 He's a Beta alum.
00:48:06 This guy has gotten us out of more shit
00:48:09 Well you Beta boys do keep me busy,
00:48:12 Now, I've just talked to the district attorney.
00:48:14 He's an old school chum of mine.
00:48:18 if you promise never to set foot
00:48:23 This is ridiculous.
00:48:25 Where am I gonna have Sunday brunch?
00:48:27 Oh, look, I know you're upset.
00:48:29 They do have a great omelet bar,
00:48:31 - But you're just gonna have to give it up.
00:48:35 These geeks... These geeks are messing
00:48:40 You want to step inside, Noah?
00:48:42 - Oh, it's open?
00:48:44 Oh, thanks Marty.
00:48:46 If you wanna grab a sandwich,
00:48:51 Look, fellas,
00:48:53 there is a bigger picture here
00:48:57 Is that what you thought
00:49:01 No.
00:49:03 - No. It wasn't.
00:49:06 So I think something has to be done here.
00:49:11 Of course. Of course.
00:49:14 So what would you do?
00:49:17 What would I do?
00:49:21 I would crush those geeks
00:49:29 But that's just me.
00:49:31 See you boys at homecoming.
00:49:34 I will. Thank you.
00:49:45 Come on.
00:50:02 Freeze, human.
00:50:19 Uphold the galactic alliance with my cock.
00:50:28 What the hell is going on in there?
00:50:30 Sounds like a dog with its dick
00:50:34 - All right, this way.
00:50:42 Okay.
00:50:48 Guys, I really gotta take a dump.
00:50:51 Oh, come on. Not now.
00:50:52 That fast food I ate put me over.
00:50:55 Oh! I can't wait.
00:50:58 Well, hurry up, then.
00:51:04 Okay. All right.
00:51:12 Okay.
00:51:20 All right.
00:51:25 Come on.
00:51:29 Ooh!
00:51:30 - Bobby, what are you doing, man?
00:51:34 Upper-decker, baby.
00:51:36 Oh, my God.
00:51:39 Betas, we are leaving. Go, go, go!
00:51:47 What's happening?
00:51:57 Well, pledges,
00:51:59 you completed every task
00:52:03 I, along with every other Beta in this room,
00:52:10 Congratulations, you're all Betas!
00:52:13 Oh, yeah.
00:52:17 Hey, cuz.
00:52:20 Yeah.
00:52:31 So it sounds like you got yourself
00:52:33 Oh, yeah. You know what?
00:52:35 we can spend a lot more time together, too.
00:52:41 What? Are you kidding me?
00:52:42 Edgar, get you and the Mensa rejects
00:52:50 You have crossed me
00:52:56 We're gonna settle this once and for all!
00:53:01 Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
00:53:04 Oh! What the fuck?
00:53:12 We, the members of the Geek House,
00:53:16 to the Greek Olympiad.
00:53:18 The Greek Olympiad?
00:53:19 As much as I'd love to kick
00:53:22 I hate to tell you, the Greek Olympiad's
00:53:26 What's the matter?.
00:53:31 Afraid?
00:53:34 - Let's do this.
00:53:36 We are playing for charters.
00:53:39 If we win, you give up your charter
00:53:44 And if you win,
00:53:46 we move out and you take our house.
00:53:49 This place against your mansion?
00:53:51 Consider it another tradition
00:53:56 You're on.
00:54:01 Are you out of your mind?
00:54:03 The Greek Olympiad
00:54:06 You'll all get thrown off campus.
00:54:08 - That's a chance we're gonna have to take.
00:54:13 I mean, yes, it's a combination of skill,
00:54:18 but there is a degree of perversion
00:54:20 which I don't think
00:54:23 Do you happen to remember the name
00:54:25 to ever win the Greek Olympiad?
00:54:27 Well, I haven't the foggiest
00:54:29 His name was Noah Levenstein.
00:54:34 Uh-huh.
00:54:35 Well, I knew that would
00:54:37 But, you know, fellas,
00:54:40 I was just a dumb kid.
00:54:42 Mr Levenstein, we need you.
00:54:44 Tradition states
00:54:47 comes back to officiate.
00:54:49 I know it's tradition.
00:54:52 I... I suppose I could do it.
00:54:55 I'd have to call in
00:54:57 Excellent. You will not regret this.
00:55:00 - Stifler! This just came for you, man.
00:55:07 This is interesting.
00:55:10 Hello!
00:55:14 I'm here. What's this big bombshell?
00:55:24 Are you sure you weren't followed?
00:55:26 You? What the hell are you doing here?
00:55:32 - Well, well, Stifler.
00:55:34 Looks like we meet again.
00:55:36 - All right, this is a set-up. I'm out of here.
00:55:40 The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
00:55:43 What we had was a rivalry,
00:55:46 but what Edgar did
00:55:50 Wait, how do you even know the guy?
00:55:53 He tried to pledge
00:55:56 He was the first regular sized guy
00:56:01 They used to have this tradition
00:56:04 Be gentle.
00:56:05 They'd tell us we had to bang the sheep
00:56:06 and that we couldn't come out
00:56:10 Now, one of two things happened.
00:56:13 Either they would come out crying,
00:56:16 orthey would beat off in the rubber
00:56:21 And then there was Edgar.
00:56:26 Good luck.
00:56:35 We gotta check it out.
00:56:43 For the love of God, man!
00:56:47 That sick bastard fucked the sheep.
00:56:51 That's a great story
00:56:55 I'm sure you'll figure something out, Shitler.
00:57:15 Welcome to the Greek Olympiad!
00:57:26 Competing today in this ancient tradition
00:57:29 are the Beta House...
00:57:32 - Beta! Beta!
00:57:34 And the Geek House.
00:57:39 Now, when we think of the term
00:57:44 we hearken back to ancient traditions.
00:57:48 We conjure up images of mighty warriors
00:57:52 in their little skirts, getting all oiled up,
00:57:57 writhing around with each other.
00:57:59 Some called it wrestling,
00:58:04 But enough history. On with the games.
00:58:17 The first event is called
00:58:20 The man who undoes all the brassieres
00:58:25 You know, Ed,
00:58:27 it's really a shame all that practice on your
00:58:31 Please, Dwight. I spent a season
00:58:34 It was before I met you.
00:58:38 Gentlemen, are we ready?
00:58:41 Decline and fall, Dwight. Decline and fall.
00:58:45 Start unsnapping.
00:59:02 You know, I still hold
00:59:05 Hands of a surgeon.
00:59:11 - Oh, what's up with Edgar?
00:59:13 Squad clasps are really difficult to deal with.
00:59:21 Done.
00:59:23 Done!
00:59:25 I knew it!
00:59:26 Betas win.
00:59:31 Yeah!
00:59:34 Hey, nice try, Edgar.
00:59:36 Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
00:59:39 You know, with a little more to work with,
00:59:43 The next event is The Battle of Ares.
00:59:47 Two men fighting to the death,
00:59:53 or until one knocks the other into the water.
00:59:57 Yeah! Ride that!
01:00:00 You guys are so done, Edgar.
01:00:03 Why don't you just save some face,
01:00:05 Not quite yet.
01:00:07 You haven't met our new initiate, have you?
01:00:18 His name is Dave Maul,
01:00:20 and he is the number-one rated
01:00:23 on the science fiction convention tour.
01:00:25 Oh, he's a virgin.
01:00:26 Are you ready, boys?
01:00:29 Joust!
01:00:48 Oh, shit!
01:00:55 Take him! Take him!
01:00:58 Finish him.
01:01:01 Go! Come on!
01:01:08 - Geeks win!
01:01:12 The next event is called Demeter's Feast.
01:01:15 Now, in ancient Rome,
01:01:19 And often sacrificed
01:01:23 Today, we've taken a pig, greased it up,
01:01:26 and the first one who catches it, wins.
01:01:33 Hey, you sure you're up for this pigging?
01:01:35 Stifler, I grew up on a farm with 652 pigs,
01:01:38 I can tell what the pig is thinking.
01:01:50 Silly, little, fat man.
01:01:52 Hey, Edgar, what's the deal with
01:01:54 You haven't heard of parkour, have you?
01:02:03 What the...
01:02:05 Go! Go! Go! Go!
01:02:28 Damn.
01:02:42 Come here, pork chop.
01:02:45 Geeks!
01:03:16 Geeks win!
01:03:22 Shut up.
01:03:24 Greek Roulette is a very dangerous game.
01:03:30 One of these chambers contains a capsule
01:03:33 with aged horse semen.
01:03:39 Gentlemen, let us begin.
01:03:57 Disgusting.
01:04:03 Come on, come on!
01:04:08 You're busted. Come on.
01:04:10 - It's gonna be...
01:04:14 You know, I gotta hand it to you, Edgar.
01:04:15 I really didn't think
01:04:17 I thought you'd probably
01:04:19 I wouldn't miss watching you shoot
01:04:25 Come on, man.
01:04:26 Come on, Stifler!
01:04:32 Yeah!
01:04:35 - We can do this! Yes, yes!
01:04:40 That's how we do.
01:04:41 Oh, boy!
01:04:43 - Come on! Come on!
01:04:47 Come on, baby. Eat it!
01:04:56 Yeah!
01:04:57 - Put two canisters in there!
01:05:00 That's too many, Dwight.
01:05:02 Unless Edgar's afraid, put in two canisters.
01:05:06 Fine! Put in two!
01:05:09 Put in two.
01:05:15 Go!
01:05:16 Go!
01:05:19 Be a man, huh?
01:05:22 Warm it up.
01:05:26 All right, all right! All right!
01:05:28 - All right!
01:05:31 We're good? Back to the match.
01:05:33 You're good baby.
01:05:34 Oh, no. I can't watch this.
01:05:39 Yeah! Yeah!
01:05:41 - Yeah! Yes!
01:05:43 - Yes! Yes!
01:05:47 You're up.
01:05:49 Come on!
01:05:52 - Do it.
01:05:54 Do it!
01:05:57 - Do it!
01:05:59 - Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
01:06:07 Oh.
01:06:10 Yes! We won! Sucker!
01:06:14 Betas win.
01:06:16 - Enjoy Mister Ed's jizz.
01:06:22 Tough loss, there, Edgar,
01:06:24 You've got to get right back
01:06:27 So to speak.
01:06:33 The ancient game of the Wife Carry
01:06:38 The first couple
01:06:42 - You owe me big time for this.
01:06:46 - Okay.
01:06:52 How pathetic. Now!
01:06:59 What? What...
01:07:00 Really? You trying to give Bandhu a hernia?
01:07:02 Oh, once again your pathetic little brain
01:07:05 Bandhu, up.
01:07:11 All right, Erik. We got this. Let's go.
01:07:14 We're fucked.
01:07:18 Come on, Erik! Go, go, go!
01:07:20 We can beat those Betas.
01:07:23 How'd you feel about that...
01:07:32 Come on! Come on!
01:07:45 Maybe I should have carried you.
01:07:49 Man, that is one scary chick.
01:07:52 That's a chick?
01:07:53 Okay.
01:07:56 And now, the Peloponnesian War.
01:07:59 The first team to consume
01:08:03 Throwing up does not disqualify.
01:08:04 Gentlemen, inside this cylindrical
01:08:08 lies 55 metric litres of malted alcohol.
01:08:12 Remember, fellas,
01:08:14 Most of them are lonely problem drinkers,
01:08:16 Beware, gentlemen,
01:08:19 but we are more than men.
01:08:21 We are more than men!
01:08:23 We, sirs, are Geeks!
01:08:26 Yes!
01:08:30 - Gentlemen, chug-a-lug!
01:08:36 Drink!
01:08:43 Edgar!
01:08:47 I only have one thing to say to you.
01:08:48 What's that, you philistine?
01:08:58 Puking doesn't disqualify!
01:09:02 - Geeks, attack!
01:09:11 Come on, Edgar.
01:09:16 That's all you got, huh? That's all you got?
01:09:28 Go back to the keg!
01:09:30 We got a man down!
01:09:32 Gentlemen, we need to attain
01:09:35 Attach the device!
01:09:42 - What the hell is that?
01:09:44 Open valves.
01:09:47 That's the Geeks taking the lead.
01:09:53 Let's go!
01:10:01 Open the valves all the way.
01:10:07 - Yeah!
01:10:09 Betas win!
01:10:18 With the Greek Olympiad tied,
01:10:28 The final event is called
01:10:33 Quite simply, the first man
01:10:37 who excretes his manly juices,
01:10:42 in the ejaculatory sense,
01:10:47 loses.
01:10:57 I cannot wait to see you come in your pants.
01:10:59 Let's do this.
01:11:12 Pi is equal to 3. 1415...
01:11:14 - No big deal at all.
01:11:16 I feel like Santa Claus
01:11:22 - That was nothing. I'm okay.
01:11:24 No big deal.
01:11:27 Shake that thing.
01:11:40 - I like your boobs.
01:11:43 Pretend you're sucking my man breast!
01:11:46 Give it up, Stifler.
01:11:49 And my brain is way biggerthan yours.
01:11:52 I've got experience on my side.
01:11:53 I'll take that over
01:11:57 We shall see. Bring her in!
01:12:00 We flew this young lady in from Las Vegas.
01:12:03 She's the number one stripper
01:12:06 Enjoy, Dwight.
01:12:10 Oh, no!
01:12:13 Good luck.
01:12:20 I'm in trouble here, boys.
01:12:23 This chick is ridiculous. Bring her in!
01:12:25 Oh, God! Oh, God!
01:12:37 What the fuck?
01:12:42 Look at my tail, Edgar.
01:12:44 Look how fluffy it is.
01:12:47 Somebody make her stop.
01:12:49 Edgar, you got a little wool fetish, buddy?
01:12:52 No! Make her stop!
01:13:02 He's done.
01:13:11 Betas win.
01:13:16 Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta! Beta!
01:13:30 To the winners,
01:13:35 To Beta House!
01:13:38 Beta, baby!
01:13:39 Congratulations, Stifler.
01:13:43 - Thanks, Noah. Betas for life.
01:13:55 Now this is a frat party.
01:13:57 No. This is a Beta party.
01:14:21 - Hey, I got a little surprise for you.
01:14:26 A little present for you being
01:14:30 Okay.
01:14:32 - Are you ready for your present?
01:14:36 I'm really confused right now,
01:14:40 Oh, man this is fucked up even for me.
01:14:44 DENISE: Here it comes.
01:14:45 Oh, my God. If it's biggerthan mine,
01:14:48 I'm not wearing any panties.
01:14:52 Easy, Cooze. Everybody can see you.
01:14:55 Well, I'm sure we can find some place
01:14:58 - Okay.
01:15:01 Come on.
01:15:05 - Where are you taking me?
01:15:19 I'm nervous.
01:15:21 What are you talking about?
01:15:24 - Are you sure?
01:15:33 Why don't I take care of you.
01:15:39 Okay.
01:15:41 Okay.
01:15:54 Oh, my.
01:15:58 I can't! I can't!
01:16:00 Look, just let yourself go, baby.
01:16:02 There's nothing you can do
01:16:05 - Are you sure?
01:16:08 Okay!
01:16:12 Why are you bringing me in here?
01:16:14 Well, this being our new house,
01:16:16 I thought I'd come up with my own task
01:16:20 Okay. What's that gonna be?
01:16:24 Well, I think it's kind of better if I...
01:16:26 If I show you.
01:16:33 Hmm.
01:16:34 Sex in a movie theatre.
01:16:36 I like the way you think, Erik Stifler.
01:16:54 I'm coming! I'm coming!
01:16:57 I'm coming!
01:17:00 Oh, my...
01:17:05 Okay. I was a little surprised by that.
01:17:08 I'm sorry.
01:17:10 It's okay.
01:17:14 - It was actually really sexy.
01:17:17 Yeah. Can you do that every time?
01:17:20 - Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:23 Oh, my God.
01:17:34 - Hey, buddy, take a little dip in the pool?
01:17:37 Oh, wait a minute.
01:17:41 Yes. The elusive female ejaculation.
01:17:45 Not a lot of girls can do that. Congrats.
01:18:09 Beta House fucking rules!
01:19:08 Yes!
01:19:18 Hey, big boy,
01:19:21 ready to fill me up with some more protein?
01:19:25 No, no, no. No!
01:19:32 Yes, the Blackout Menace strikes again.
01:24:32 Wear this foryour next dance, honey.
01:24:35 Thanks.