Looking for Eric

en
00:01:38 Nurse. What time is it?
00:01:41 - It's 4:00 in the morning.
00:01:43 Try and sleep.
00:01:45 Listen, I'm really sorry about
00:01:49 I don't know what got into me, nurse.
00:01:50 Eric, nobody's been hurt.
00:01:53 Everything's all right.
00:01:54 Listen, I got an early shift.
00:01:56 Can you get me clothes for me,
00:01:58 You won't be going anywhere.
00:01:59 - Eric, it's all right.
00:02:01 - Try and relax. Just lie down.
00:02:03 - It's okay.
00:02:04 It's all right.
00:02:06 I can't be late for work, nurse.
00:02:08 - It's okay.
00:02:10 - You get to sleep. You get to sleep.
00:02:14 - I can't be late.
00:02:18 Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry.
00:02:33 Oh, God, Lily, I'm so sorry.
00:02:40 You take it easy.
00:02:42 All right, Eric?
00:02:44 God, what have you been up to,
00:02:45 - Ah, I know, I know.
00:02:48 Something let go.
00:02:49 - Did you get any broken bones or owt?
00:02:51 - Has he been giving you any trouble?
00:02:53 - No, model patient. Been fine.
00:02:58 Guinness Book of Records, eh?
00:03:01 You what?
00:03:03 Three thousand times
00:03:06 It's a career change, isn't it?
00:03:09 From postman to astronaut.
00:03:11 I was daydreaming.
00:03:13 You went round the wrong fucking way.
00:03:14 - You're lucky somebody wasn't killed.
00:03:17 A good night's kip
00:03:18 and I'll be as fit as a butcher's dog.
00:03:21 Where's me car?
00:03:24 It's like you. It's fucked.
00:03:27 What about the police?
00:03:29 I've had a word with them.
00:03:31 They've gotta make a report, but I don't
00:03:34 due to your psychological condition.
00:03:52 Eric, if there's anything you need,
00:03:53 anything at all,
00:03:55 Any time. Day or night. All right?
00:03:57 Aye. Cheers, mate. Thanks.
00:04:02 All right. We've just dropped
00:04:04 The van'll be here in about an hour.
00:04:05 Can you let Ryan know, please?
00:04:06 Listen, I told you
00:04:08 It's only gonna be for a few hours,
00:04:10 How the fuck have you got in anyway?
00:04:13 Fucking hell.
00:04:19 Fuck's sake.
00:04:28 Hey, did you give
00:04:31 - What?
00:04:34 - Did you give them a key?
00:05:09 What have I told you about
00:05:14 - You hear me?
00:05:29 - Who are you?
00:05:31 Oh, are you Ryan's stepdad?
00:05:33 - Yeah.
00:05:45 I want that shit downstairs
00:05:47 And I won't tell you again, right?
00:05:49 Right.
00:05:51 No need to shout.
00:05:55 Jess?
00:06:02 For God's sake, Jess. It's nearly
00:06:06 Get up for school. You're late.
00:06:08 - It's the middle of the afternoon.
00:06:09 Will you get up for school?
00:06:11 Oh, just leave me alone.
00:06:12 Will you get up, Jess?
00:06:14 Obviously, I'm not going to
00:06:15 God, leave me alone.
00:06:17 Right, well, I'll just
00:06:19 - Eh? I'll just...
00:06:22 Who the fucking hell are you?
00:06:24 Look, Jess, will you sort this out?
00:06:28 - Trying to get me head down.
00:06:31 - What the...
00:06:33 - Pardon me?
00:06:36 Who the fuck am I?
00:06:38 I'm fucking room service!
00:06:40 Do you wish to register
00:06:43 Look at my room, man!
00:06:44 Look, just go away. Move!
00:06:47 Fuck off. I'm trying to sleep.
00:06:54 Look at my room.
00:06:57 Fucking sick of it!
00:07:00 - I'm up to here with it!
00:07:27 Hello. We're not available now.
00:07:29 Please leave your name
00:07:32 We will return your call.
00:07:35 Dad, it's me again.
00:07:38 Will you phone me, please?
00:07:41 D'you know I'm missing two classes now?
00:07:43 I've gotta rush back
00:07:46 You've really let me down, Dad.
00:07:50 Will you just ring me
00:08:07 Have you ever had a shrink, Eric?
00:08:12 You know what he asked me?
00:08:15 When's the last time you was happy?
00:08:25 Today, at Old Trafford,
00:08:29 the most talented, temperamental
00:08:44 Cantona takes control.
00:08:47 Looking for the shooting opportunity
00:08:49 Eric Cantona again
00:08:55 Crosses it towards Cantona.
00:09:00 Kanchelskis. It's a great ball.
00:09:03 Cantona takes it in his stride
00:09:05 and fires Manchester United
00:09:18 Drink a drink a drink
00:09:20 To the king, the king, the king
00:09:21 For he's the leader
00:09:24 He's the greatest centre forward
00:09:28 That the world has ever seen
00:09:30 Cantona. It's still Cantona.
00:09:44 Cantona for Manchester United.
00:09:48 Oh, but he's won it back.
00:09:50 Giggs. Here's Cantona.
00:09:52 Yes! Eric Cantona with the goal
00:10:18 Look at the state of him.
00:10:21 He's like a wonky wheel,
00:10:24 I know, it's hard to believe, isn't it?
00:10:26 A few years ago
00:10:27 He was a brilliant dancer.
00:10:31 I'm not being funny, but how long
00:10:36 Seven years.
00:10:39 And then he gets lumbered
00:10:41 How's that work?
00:10:45 - Hello, boys.
00:10:48 - What you got there?
00:10:51 - Oh, don't worry, this'll sort him out.
00:10:53 Dog's bollocks this.
00:10:54 What is this?
00:10:56 - Take it from me.
00:10:59 You been raiding
00:11:02 You wanna be banned from bookshops.
00:11:04 If you can open up your tiny minds
00:11:06 you might learn something.
00:11:08 What Eric needs is laughter.
00:11:11 According to him,
00:11:13 If you can make him laugh,
00:11:15 it's forced or artificial,
00:11:17 Apparently it lifts your spirits,
00:11:20 and all your body feels good.
00:11:22 If I was in Eric's shoes,
00:11:24 I'll be honest with you.
00:11:25 - Is that you volunteering?
00:11:28 I'm volunteering Jack.
00:11:31 Listen, what we're gonna do
00:11:33 Okay. One at a time. All go down there.
00:11:35 Tell him a joke, do a dance, do what
00:11:38 Try and cheer the lad up, all right?
00:11:42 - All right, Eric?
00:11:44 Did you, did you hear
00:11:58 Oh, dear.
00:12:04 Need to do better
00:12:06 - Hey, Eric. You all right?
00:12:08 - Hey, two monkeys in a bath, right.
00:12:10 One monkey turns to the other monkey
00:12:14 - Like that, right? Right?
00:12:15 The other monkey turns
00:12:17 "Put some cold water in, you daft cunt."
00:12:19 - Fucking hell.
00:12:21 That's not bad. It's better than
00:12:24 Yeah, whatever.
00:12:30 - Hi, Eric.
00:12:33 Hey, you're good at
00:12:34 - Yeah, yeah, aye.
00:12:36 Heavily laden postman.
00:12:38 - How many letters?
00:12:42 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:45 Stand in front of your imaginary mirror.
00:12:49 Yeah.
00:12:52 Think of someone who loves you
00:12:54 and imagine viewing yourself
00:13:00 Yeah?
00:13:03 Don't fuck about. Come on.
00:13:08 Have you had to have met them?
00:13:11 Do you have to have met the person?
00:13:13 Well, you...
00:13:16 - Come on.
00:13:18 - to get into it?
00:13:21 I'm here.
00:13:23 Stand in front of a fucking
00:13:26 - I am.
00:13:27 This might be hard for you.
00:13:30 And imagine viewing yourself
00:13:33 - It's fucking dead easy.
00:13:35 No, come on, do it now.
00:13:37 - No, come on.
00:13:38 Then gently press
00:13:41 against the biggest finger...
00:13:43 - Of your own hand or someone else's?
00:13:45 No, your hand.
00:13:47 - The same hand?
00:13:49 Have to sit down for this bit.
00:13:53 Keep at it, keep at it,
00:13:56 Now, with your eyes closed,
00:14:07 What's best? In through the nose
00:14:09 or in through the mouth
00:14:11 Just breathe.
00:14:12 Breathe through
00:14:14 I get dizzy if I breathe too much.
00:14:15 Shut up. Keep your eyes closed,
00:14:20 Allow yourself to see yourself
00:14:22 someone who loves you,
00:14:25 Someone who loves you
00:14:27 You are totally loved.
00:14:29 And you're holding your
00:14:31 - Are we there?
00:14:32 We're all there?
00:14:34 - Is this supposed to relax us?
00:14:36 This better not be some kind of
00:14:39 Oh, can't you shut up for a minute?
00:14:40 Weirdo cult thing?
00:14:41 - I'm not taking me pants off.
00:14:43 Fucking concentrate! Will you?
00:14:45 Just calm down, just fucking...
00:14:46 Well, it's him! You fucking...
00:14:48 Like Derek Acorah.
00:14:49 I'm trying to talk
00:14:51 not the fucking brain-dead.
00:14:53 Right. You're breathing, your fingers,
00:14:56 There's someone who likes you, you're
00:14:58 Now I've took you over to
00:15:01 Now I want you to think of
00:15:03 someone whose confidence and charisma
00:15:07 Okay.
00:15:09 Have you got
00:15:10 - Yes.
00:15:12 Charisma, confidence
00:15:14 - But you don't have to know these ones?
00:15:16 I'm just checking.
00:15:19 - Smug, who have you thought of?
00:15:23 - Sammy Davis, Jr.
00:15:28 Smug is looking through
00:15:32 Well, he's looking through one of them.
00:15:34 Sammy Davis, Jr.
00:15:38 Spleen?
00:15:40 Fidel Castro.
00:15:43 Okay. Fidel Castro.
00:15:46 Jack?
00:15:49 - Nelson Mandela.
00:15:52 Nice one. Nelson Mandela.
00:15:57 Travis?
00:16:00 Gandhi.
00:16:02 - Good one.
00:16:05 Eric Cantona. King Eric.
00:16:07 - Of course.
00:16:09 - Good man. Good man.
00:16:11 - I'll tell you what
00:16:13 Me?
00:16:15 Old Blue Eyes.
00:16:18 Mr Frank Sinatra.
00:16:23 I'm gonna emulate Frank Sinatra.
00:16:25 Hey, we could do a duet.
00:16:30 Right, what a room we've got here.
00:16:32 What a fantastic room. Sammy Davis, Jr,
00:16:34 Fidel Castro, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,
00:16:38 and Old Blue Eyes himself,
00:16:41 Eh? What a year that was.
00:16:47 You got hold of Winnie, now?
00:16:51 I need to see Winnie.
00:16:55 Winnie.
00:17:02 Here you are, come on,
00:17:05 - Eric, what's this, mate?
00:17:07 Have you not opened them?
00:17:10 What is he looking at me letters for?
00:17:13 Come and sit down.
00:17:16 Jack, what are you doing,
00:17:17 Are they yours? Have you not
00:17:21 Oh, for crying out bleeding loud.
00:17:23 - Eric.
00:17:25 Eric, what's going on, mate?
00:17:27 - Oh, for crying out loud.
00:17:29 Spleen, get on the phone
00:17:31 We're gonna have to
00:18:59 Flawed genius, eh?
00:19:03 Flawed postman.
00:19:11 How's your self care, Eric?
00:19:17 Have you ever thought about
00:19:21 Who loves you, Eric?
00:19:26 Takes care of you?
00:19:32 You know what knocked me for six?
00:19:39 "Have you ever done anything
00:19:47 Well, have you?
00:19:58 Fucking hell.
00:20:00 What the fuck?
00:20:08 - Is that really you?
00:20:14 Say something in French then.
00:20:21 Fucking hell, it is you.
00:20:24 What the fuck, man?
00:20:26 Wait till the fucking lads
00:20:29 They still fucking love ya.
00:20:33 It's Lily, n'est-ce pas?
00:20:36 I can't say her name.
00:20:39 I don't like to talk about her, Eric.
00:20:42 Say it.
00:20:44 I can't.
00:20:46 You have to face this. Right?
00:20:50 - I can't.
00:20:55 Lily. Fuck.
00:20:58 It's always fucking Lily.
00:21:03 - Open the trunk.
00:21:11 - You what?
00:21:14 we cannot get beyond danger.
00:21:26 Come on.
00:21:36 God.
00:21:46 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:21:51 God.
00:21:57 Here y'are, look at that.
00:21:59 "Manchester duo
00:22:05 19th of July, 1979.
00:22:10 Thirty years ago.
00:22:12 Used to love dancing. Rock 'n' roll.
00:22:15 You know, putting all the gear on
00:22:20 That's a picture from the night
00:22:23 - A great night.
00:22:26 What a pair of blue suede shoes.
00:22:29 Yeah, blue suede shoes.
00:22:31 Hey, they got sent from America.
00:22:35 I wonder what happened to them.
00:22:38 You know,
00:22:45 ...are the most toughest of them all.
00:22:49 Yeah.
00:22:51 They're the hardest to deal with.
00:22:54 Yeah.
00:23:04 It was a daft idea, really.
00:23:06 The compere, he pulled out these
00:23:10 one for the girls and one for the boys.
00:23:11 And you met for the first time
00:23:14 Anyway, he goes "Number 19.
00:23:18 ... Eric Bishop.
00:23:23 I got up on the dance floor,
00:23:26 "And for the ladies,"
00:23:28 Number one. Lily Devine.
00:23:34 Then I turned round, like,
00:23:39 absolutely fucking gorgeous.
00:23:42 She looked a little bit shy, like.
00:23:44 But you could sense
00:24:35 What a dancer. I couldn't believe it.
00:24:38 I was like, "Oh, what's going on here?"
00:24:41 But the second one, second number was,
00:24:45 I was ready for her then.
00:24:48 And the band start playing.
00:24:50 I was chucking her about and flipping
00:24:52 She just kept coming back
00:24:54 It was like she fucking trusted me,
00:25:42 I don't know.
00:25:43 I don't know if it was, like,
00:25:45 that just brought us closer together,
00:25:50 It was just like
00:25:51 that you know
00:25:54 Sometimes we didn't do anything,
00:25:55 we just sat there
00:26:00 I've never done that with anyone else,
00:26:07 And 30 years later, you can't even
00:26:12 Well, a lot of mistakes have been made.
00:26:17 A lot of water under the bridge.
00:26:25 Can you imagine being asked
00:26:27 to meet your ex-wife on a daily basis,
00:26:29 when you've hardly seen her
00:26:32 Well, I'm just a few weeks
00:26:35 I'm struggling. I am way behind
00:26:39 - lf I don't finish it, I can't graduate.
00:26:42 And it's been difficult with Daisy.
00:26:44 So I was just wondering, when you
00:26:47 instead of bringing her back to mine
00:26:50 can you keep her
00:26:53 Yeah, course I can.
00:26:55 Brilliant. That means I can study
00:26:59 - Oh, don't worry about it.
00:27:00 - You're no problem to your granddad.
00:27:02 - Are you, eh?
00:27:06 - Hello. What's the matter? Eh?
00:27:09 Oh, come here.
00:27:10 - Hey, look at that.
00:27:12 - Look at the sunshine, eh.
00:27:15 - She ready for this?
00:27:17 So where do you want us
00:27:22 - At Mum's.
00:27:27 I've hardly seen your mother for years.
00:27:30 - Don't ask me to do that, love.
00:27:31 - I can't, not now, it's just...
00:27:34 It doesn't make sense any more.
00:27:37 - I spoke to Mam and she don't mind.
00:27:41 Well, it's practical,
00:27:45 What did she say?
00:27:47 She said it might be good
00:27:52 Just tell me exactly what she said, Sam.
00:27:57 She said it doesn't
00:28:02 Well, you asked, Dad.
00:28:05 Five words.
00:28:08 "It doesn't really matter anymore."
00:28:13 That's what she said.
00:28:16 Now that is worse than hatred.
00:28:20 Oui. Much worse.
00:28:24 Oh, well, thanks a lot.
00:28:28 And then when I saw her...
00:28:31 She'd really taken care of herself.
00:28:34 Her hair, the way she stood, everything.
00:28:38 Fuck.
00:28:41 Brought it all back?
00:28:45 Oh, God, yeah.
00:28:46 Like it was yesterday. Nearly 30 years.
00:29:04 I'm fucked.
00:29:06 Oui.
00:29:09 Right with you, mon ami.
00:29:11 So I suggest a jump
00:29:16 off the nearest block of flats.
00:29:19 Oh, it's all right for you.
00:29:23 Playing beach football.
00:29:26 You've even got a fucking French accent.
00:29:29 Eh, look at me. Scrawny little fuck.
00:29:31 You've got it all, mate. All of it.
00:29:34 You think my friends
00:29:37 It's all just slipping
00:29:40 The lads look through me.
00:29:43 And I can't even trust meself.
00:29:44 I feel like... I feel like I'm floating
00:29:48 wandering round
00:29:55 What? What?
00:29:56 He that forecasts all perils
00:30:02 He that is afraid to shake the dice
00:30:05 If you do not enter a tiger's den,
00:30:07 Oh, stick your proverbs
00:30:09 How do you say that in French?
00:30:14 - Huh?
00:30:17 I'm fucking up to here
00:30:19 I'm still getting over the fucking
00:30:25 Always got more choices than we think.
00:30:27 Always.
00:30:29 Yeah, like what?
00:30:33 A shave.
00:30:35 Oh, I can't face her. Right?
00:30:38 Yes, you can.
00:30:43 Right?
00:31:21 - Eric.
00:31:25 No. Lily. Your first wife.
00:31:28 Yeah. Sorry, just a bit nervous.
00:31:32 She fed about half-hour ago.
00:31:37 There's fruit purée
00:31:40 - The nappies are underneath.
00:31:42 Oh, and the bibs are underneath.
00:31:44 And there's a bottle of water
00:31:47 Fantastic.
00:31:50 - Are you okay, Eric?
00:31:54 I'm sorry about the other day.
00:31:56 It's just that
00:31:58 Hadn't slept right.
00:32:02 - Fighting fit.
00:32:04 So are you okay for dropping her
00:32:07 - or would you rather meet back here?
00:32:10 It's only six weeks, isn't it?
00:32:12 - Yeah.
00:32:14 - Yeah.
00:32:19 - Fancy a cup of tea, Lily?
00:32:24 Look, Eric, let's just try and get
00:32:28 - Yeah.
00:32:31 - Okay. See you.
00:32:38 Hello.
00:33:00 Ryan, can I have a word, please?
00:33:03 - It's one of them.
00:33:07 Just a rough guess,
00:33:09 Yeah, I can see
00:33:11 - What the fuck is it doing there?
00:33:14 What else do you think it is,
00:33:15 - Just having a Bud.
00:33:17 - Who's nicked it?
00:33:19 - You've nicked it.
00:33:20 Where's it come from? You've nicked it.
00:33:22 Right, well, I'll get it sorted.
00:33:23 Yeah, well, get it
00:33:25 - Look, I'll do it when I can.
00:33:26 Here you are.
00:33:28 Hang on a minute.
00:33:29 - Going to the match.
00:33:32 - You got everything?
00:33:34 Man U versus Barcelona.
00:33:37 Watch the shopping, will you?
00:33:39 Eric, next time I'll try
00:33:41 Zac's a main player.
00:33:42 the best boxes in the stadium.
00:33:44 - Come on, lad, stop fucking about.
00:33:46 - You'd love it.
00:33:54 Where are you
00:34:13 What the fuck?
00:34:18 Oh, fucking hell!
00:34:22 Oh, shit! Fucking work coat!
00:34:26 Bastard! Oh, for fuck's sake!
00:34:30 Fucking hell! Fuck, fuck, fucking hell!
00:34:38 Jack Bishop. Ironmonger.
00:34:46 - Yeah. Yeah.
00:34:50 Were you close?
00:34:52 Well, he sat on me by mistake once.
00:35:10 She sent me this
00:35:19 "I can't love you any more than this.
00:35:23 "Lily."
00:35:25 I never ever answered her.
00:35:29 And the longer I left it,
00:35:32 And then there was just no going back.
00:35:36 So tell her the truth.
00:35:39 What can you say to someone
00:35:40 who's just laid
00:35:43 It's just like there.
00:35:51 You know what, fuck it. Fuck it.
00:35:56 There's just no way
00:35:58 I can't meet her every day.
00:36:00 I'll just end up back at that
00:36:03 You must speak to her.
00:36:05 - I can't.
00:36:10 I haven't got any words. And...
00:36:15 Fuck.
00:36:17 - Eric?
00:36:19 - Eric!
00:36:21 Come on, we're going for a pint.
00:36:24 Go on, Eric. You are a lucky man.
00:36:26 - Come on!
00:36:31 - Come on, mate...
00:36:33 All right, all right. I'm coming!
00:36:41 Fucking hell.
00:36:45 - Don't forget your wallet.
00:36:58 Hey up, hey up. What's the shirt, mate?
00:37:00 FC United, mate. People's club.
00:37:03 - Wouldn't wipe my arse on that, pal.
00:37:07 Sit down, Spleen.
00:37:09 - for God's sake.
00:37:11 Listen, pal.
00:37:13 They left me.
00:37:15 Who left you? United?
00:37:17 We got over 300 million fans.
00:37:18 - And we left you?
00:37:20 I told you this before, right?
00:37:22 "Leave your...
00:37:23 "change your politics,
00:37:25 "But never, never can you change
00:37:28 Yeah, all right, we may be small.
00:37:31 There's no fat bastard chairman can
00:37:34 No, 'cause
00:37:36 Our club.
00:37:37 And I'll tell you what, that's what
00:37:39 - 1878, weren't it, eh?
00:37:41 Newton Heath they were called.
00:37:44 You're pissing on your own history,
00:37:46 No, it's still there. Still there.
00:37:49 - We'll never die, pal, us.
00:37:51 He never fucking goes, Judge, anyway.
00:37:54 Yeah, but I've told him,
00:37:55 I can't afford it.
00:37:57 Exactly.
00:37:59 Car parks don't lie!
00:38:00 - They don't.
00:38:02 What kind of car
00:38:04 Not the kind of cars we can afford.
00:38:07 - go to the game?
00:38:08 with fucking baskets on the front.
00:38:11 Won't pay Glazer
00:38:14 Still sing "City's gonna die"
00:38:18 Two Uniteds but the soul is one
00:38:20 As the Busby Babes carry on
00:38:22 - Carry on
00:38:25 - Hypocrites, you are.
00:38:27 Walking adverts. Look at you.
00:38:29 We don't have sponsors on our chest.
00:38:32 - What?
00:38:34 - Who would sponsor you?
00:38:36 Tuesday night.
00:38:38 who put 50, 60 million quid
00:38:40 - Yeah.
00:38:43 What the fuck are you doing here?
00:38:44 You fucking don't know
00:38:46 - You make me sick.
00:38:48 - I'm going. I'm going!
00:38:51 The game's just starting,
00:38:55 - Come on, Meatballs.
00:38:59 Where are you going, to walk your dog?
00:39:03 - Fucking brilliant, innit?
00:39:06 Hey, here are, here are, here are.
00:39:08 Goal!
00:39:13 Who scored? Who scored? Who scored?
00:39:19 Fucking twats.
00:39:33 How many times I told you
00:39:35 - I'm not fucking about.
00:39:37 do some serious work.
00:39:40 - You're not fucking about?
00:39:42 I'm not fucking about.
00:39:44 Does this look like I'm fucking about?
00:39:46 - No.
00:39:47 Get that shit out your fucking garden.
00:39:50 Don't look at me.
00:39:51 Just get in the fucking house,
00:40:15 You all right?
00:40:39 Remember we used to be able to
00:40:43 Bit late for that now.
00:40:49 What does he want from ya?
00:40:52 - Who?
00:40:56 Nothing.
00:41:00 Good. Good to me.
00:41:01 Yeah. So good he gives you a smack, eh?
00:41:04 Is that what friends do these days?
00:41:06 You don't even know him. It's sorted.
00:41:09 Yeah. I used to have a laugh
00:41:11 I have a laugh with them.
00:41:16 Look, Ryan, I wanna help, mate.
00:41:22 What are you gonna do, Eric?
00:41:33 - Brownie, mate... Yeah...
00:41:36 Right, come on, lads.
00:41:38 I think it's time
00:41:40 I think it is, you know.
00:41:43 - Who is this, then?
00:41:45 I've got work tomorrow
00:41:47 Let's wrap it up, eh.
00:41:50 Five more minutes and that's it, yeah?
00:41:52 Five more minutes, I mean it.
00:42:14 Fucking hell.
00:42:16 You must say no.
00:42:19 No.
00:42:24 Come on, say it.
00:42:27 No.
00:42:32 In French.
00:42:34 Non.
00:42:37 Non.
00:42:39 Like you mean it. Non!
00:42:42 - Non.
00:42:48 Non!
00:42:50 - Non!
00:42:52 From your balls. Non!
00:42:56 - Non! Non! Non!
00:42:59 - Non! Non!
00:43:01 - Non! Non! Non! Non!
00:43:04 Non! Non! Non!
00:43:08 Non! Non! Non! Non!
00:43:11 Non! Non! Non! Non! Non!
00:43:20 Dad? Are you all right?
00:43:25 Non.
00:43:44 Remember Nottingham Forest?
00:43:46 No.
00:43:47 Oh, come on.
00:43:49 He bangs it over. You're there waiting.
00:43:50 - Bang, in it goes.
00:43:53 Oh, Man City.
00:43:55 Hughes down the right
00:43:57 Kanchelskis chips it over.
00:43:59 Bang, casual as you like. Straight in.
00:44:01 No.
00:44:03 Arsenal. Beckham crosses it over.
00:44:05 Their defender comes out, heads it away.
00:44:08 Take a step and half back
00:44:10 Bang, on the half volley. Straight in.
00:44:13 - Come on.
00:44:15 Oh, God, give me strength.
00:44:20 - Morning, Eric.
00:44:21 - Are the lifts working?
00:44:24 Third time this week.
00:44:34 Must have been amazing though.
00:44:35 Sixty thousand people watching ya.
00:44:40 - Scary, yeah.
00:44:42 - Yeah.
00:44:44 Scared it might stop.
00:44:47 I loved to surprise the crowd, you know?
00:44:51 Every time, in every game,
00:44:56 Sometimes it didn't work,
00:45:00 - In our minds forever.
00:45:03 But I had to surprise myself first.
00:45:07 You know, it depends on the limits
00:45:09 Play safe, no risk.
00:45:13 You know?
00:45:16 Remember Sunderland?
00:45:18 Ah, that was a beauty. Magnifique.
00:45:22 It was like a ballet. A dance.
00:45:26 ... squeezed past a
00:45:28 Here's Cantona. He's done it.
00:45:33 That is magnificent by Cantona.
00:45:38 It just sort of fills you up so
00:45:40 forget the rest of the shit in your life
00:45:58 I miss the games, me.
00:45:59 Only place where you can go
00:46:02 without getting arrested.
00:46:05 - Yeah. Even cry.
00:46:08 And see Englishmen kiss.
00:46:10 I mean, where else can you sing at the
00:46:14 That's what I really miss.
00:46:16 It's gotta be a good 10 years now
00:46:40 All right. Sweetest moment ever?
00:46:46 It wasn't a goal.
00:46:47 - It's gotta be a goal, Eric.
00:46:49 Come on. Last minute.
00:46:52 Beckham takes a corner.
00:46:54 He punches it away. It hits your chest.
00:46:57 Bang, you just whack it
00:47:04 No.
00:47:05 Wimbledon. It's gotta be Wimbledon.
00:47:07 You're going towards the ball.
00:47:08 You're sussing out the trajectory of it,
00:47:11 The spin on it.
00:47:13 The speed of the wind. Everything.
00:47:15 You stop it in mid-flight.
00:47:18 You come back, you whack it in.
00:47:20 In it goes. It's a goal.
00:47:26 It was a pass.
00:47:28 - A pass?
00:47:33 My God. To Irwin against Spurs. Yes!
00:47:38 Beautiful.
00:47:39 I know how clever he was.
00:47:43 Came in a flash. I just flicked it
00:47:45 Surprised everyone.
00:47:46 He took it in his stride
00:47:49 A gift.
00:47:50 Yeah, like an offering
00:47:55 What if he'd have missed?
00:47:57 You have to trust your teammates.
00:48:01 If not, we are lost.
00:48:06 It must have been tough on you
00:48:08 Nine months? The bastards.
00:48:12 I had to work hard, you know?
00:48:16 I needed something to fill me up
00:48:18 Something to aim for, you know?
00:48:22 It's funny, innit?
00:48:23 Sometimes we forget that
00:48:27 I'm not a man.
00:48:29 I am Cantona.
00:48:36 So what did you do
00:48:39 I learn the trumpet.
00:48:40 - A trumpet?
00:48:42 - You're taking the piss now, Eric.
00:48:45 Listen.
00:48:48 What?
00:49:35 Hi, Eric. I'm sorry about this.
00:49:37 I'm sorry to just call on you like this,
00:49:40 Me mum's had a bit of a fall
00:49:42 and I'm gonna have to whip her
00:49:44 Can you take Daisy for a couple of
00:49:47 - while I get her up there.
00:49:48 - Can you grab the pram? Can I come in?
00:49:50 - Come in, come in. I wasn't thinking.
00:49:52 I'm just making tea.
00:49:54 I've not tidied up in there yet, Lily.
00:50:01 So, butler on holiday, Eric?
00:50:04 Or have you sacked him?
00:50:06 Well, you know how it is
00:50:11 - Oh, my God.
00:50:13 Hey, hello, baby. Hello.
00:50:38 Sam's gonna have to find somebody else.
00:50:40 - Lily.
00:50:42 Lily, don't run off like this. Lily.
00:50:51 Lily, wait.
00:51:00 Jess? Jess!
00:51:04 - What, man?
00:51:06 - Where's your bike?
00:51:08 Right, listen. Look after Daisy
00:51:10 - What do you mean?
00:51:12 - Dad, I can't look after a baby.
00:51:15 Dad, I don't know how to. What do I do?
00:51:17 She's crying, Dad. Dad!
00:52:04 How's your mum?
00:52:06 My brother took her to hospital.
00:52:09 - She's just badly bruised.
00:52:12 I just thought I...
00:52:15 I thought I'd better explain, really.
00:52:18 - Explain?
00:52:20 Explain?
00:52:24 I was just 21, Eric.
00:52:27 I had your baby.
00:52:31 I loved you to absolute pieces.
00:52:37 You walked out on me.
00:52:39 Never come back.
00:52:42 And you left me to
00:52:47 Do you want me to explain
00:52:50 how I cried myself to sleep every night?
00:52:56 How I fell apart.
00:52:58 And I had to rebuild my life.
00:53:03 Just go, Eric Bishop.
00:53:06 Because I don't care.
00:53:21 She hates you. Right?
00:53:25 Now we are going somewhere.
00:53:28 Well, we're going nowhere.
00:53:29 I mean, she's right,
00:53:31 We're both fucking grandparents.
00:53:39 What?
00:53:45 Look, I'm getting a bit fed up
00:53:51 - Okay. I don't translate.
00:54:02 Oh, fuck it. What does it mean?
00:54:05 - Oh, come on, tell us.
00:54:07 Oh, look. You can't just say it
00:54:11 I will not be a burden.
00:54:13 Oh, you're not a burden, mate,
00:54:15 You're welcome here any time.
00:54:17 Just tell us what it means.
00:54:21 The noblest vengeance is to forgive.
00:54:27 She might forgive me?
00:54:35 Shit. It's Lily.
00:54:40 "Meet me in the pub.
00:54:44 Fucking hell.
00:54:46 I told you.
00:54:58 Hi, Lily. Would you like a drink?
00:55:00 - I'll just have half a cider, please.
00:55:07 - Can I have, half a cider, please?
00:55:18 There you go.
00:55:21 Seems like yesterday.
00:55:23 I know. It's hardly changed, has it?
00:55:27 But we have.
00:55:33 I'm really scared about opening
00:55:35 Just tell me, Eric.
00:55:39 - Just tell me.
00:55:42 The first time it happened was at
00:55:47 At first I thought it was
00:55:51 You know, too many people
00:55:54 All that hand-shaking and back-slapping.
00:55:57 "What's your plans now, son?"
00:56:00 On and on and on they went,
00:56:05 Then the old man come over.
00:56:07 No back-slapping from him.
00:56:10 Just them hard little eyes
00:56:15 And I saw you in the corner with Sam,
00:56:19 I remember 'cause you blew me a kiss.
00:56:22 But for some reason, that made him mad.
00:56:25 And he sort of grabs me on
00:56:27 like he used to do when I was a kid.
00:56:28 Shoving me backwards and forwards like
00:56:30 a fucking game show
00:56:33 "Fucking kisses?
00:56:38 "You had the brains to go to college.
00:56:40 "Now we'll see what you're made of.
00:56:41 "You've made your bed now, son,
00:56:45 Felt like me head was in a
00:56:48 Then he started prodding me with that
00:56:52 I felt like...
00:56:56 It was like I was
00:56:58 I was up there stuck on the
00:57:02 Eric Bishop with Jack Bishop,
00:57:08 Hey, where you going?
00:57:13 It was a panic attack, Eric.
00:57:16 They're more common than you think.
00:57:18 I mean, we come across it more or less
00:57:22 I didn't know what it was.
00:57:26 About half an hour later,
00:57:32 I came in and I just put an act on.
00:57:35 And you know what?
00:57:38 Putting an act on.
00:57:40 But why couldn't you tell me?
00:57:43 I just blanked it out.
00:57:47 I was terrified.
00:57:48 I thought I was going fucking bats
00:57:53 Later on, I'd see you feeding Sam.
00:57:58 And I don't know, I can't explain it,
00:58:03 I just couldn't handle it.
00:58:04 And then it got to the problem
00:58:09 Scared of going back to me own gaff.
00:58:12 I just thought you'd gone cold.
00:58:14 - No.
00:58:16 No way.
00:58:18 I just wanted you to touch me, Eric.
00:58:21 I felt fat, ugly.
00:58:24 No.
00:58:27 And I remember I had
00:58:29 Oh, God, yeah.
00:58:31 I didn't know I could scream like that.
00:58:33 Neither did I.
00:58:36 Staying out, getting drunk.
00:58:39 Off with the lads all the time.
00:58:43 All the lies you told.
00:58:45 I know. It's not so much
00:58:49 which I did, I hold me hands up.
00:58:52 I just couldn't get back.
00:59:05 Are you all right, Daisy? Yes, you are.
00:00:03 And up again.
00:00:06 - Spleen, all right, mate?
00:00:07 - Are you coming?
00:00:11 - Eric. You all right, mate?
00:00:13 - How's it going? How's it going?
00:00:15 - Okay, yeah.
00:00:18 - Daisy.
00:00:19 - Hiya, Dolly.
00:00:21 Tell you what.
00:00:22 - We're on our way.
00:00:24 You coming or what?
00:00:25 - You can get on and bring kid.
00:00:27 Hey. Yeah, I'll come,
00:00:29 No, I can't. I've gotta meet Lily,
00:00:31 - You're gonna meet who?
00:00:33 You're joking?
00:00:34 - No, I'm not. I'm not.
00:00:36 Hang on, we're only...
00:00:38 We only meet and have a chat when we
00:00:40 You're a bit of a sly dog, aren't ya?
00:00:42 Nowt to it, mate. Jesus Christ, don't
00:00:45 Hey, get in there, mate.
00:00:47 Eric's meeting Lily
00:00:48 Shut it! Shut up.
00:00:50 Eric's meeting Lily
00:00:51 Shut it. Shut up.
00:00:52 - Eric Bishop's meeting Lily
00:00:54 - See ya, Dolly.
00:00:56 Eric's meeting Lily
00:00:57 Here, listen have a good match.
00:01:05 You know what, Lily?
00:01:06 I'll always be grateful that you never
00:01:11 To be honest, it hurt that she
00:01:14 Just didn't seem fair somehow.
00:01:16 Well, you got all the crap, didn't you?
00:01:22 I just took her to see Cantona.
00:01:25 Yes and no.
00:01:27 You know something,
00:01:32 And then I got to thinking,
00:01:40 Jesus, is there something
00:01:41 No.
00:01:43 No, nothing. She's
00:01:45 Why? Well, look at you
00:01:48 This never happens.
00:01:50 Have you been talking?
00:01:52 No, we've been sat
00:01:54 I mean, God, what would me
00:01:57 - She ain't gonna bite you, Dad.
00:02:02 - I'm just shocked, that's all.
00:02:07 I was sat about six inches
00:02:10 I just wanted to put me arms
00:02:15 When you have learned
00:02:18 how to kick a ball,
00:02:22 Not for me, mate. I've lost it.
00:02:26 Nobody forgets rock 'n' roll.
00:02:30 I haven't, you know,
00:02:35 I mean, I just can't.
00:02:36 She touched me on the arm.
00:02:40 Anyway, enough of that bollocks.
00:02:43 Tell us about Fergie at Old Trafford.
00:02:46 There is no such word as can't.
00:02:48 - Let's dance.
00:02:51 - I'm the girl. Come on.
00:02:53 Whoa, fucking hang
00:02:54 I think you've got
00:02:57 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
00:03:00 Right, that's it. What the fuck?
00:04:12 You know what?
00:04:14 We're smoking too much of this shit,
00:04:16 It's gonna have to stop.
00:04:25 Women.
00:04:36 She works part time
00:04:39 Help Sam. She does baby massage.
00:04:43 Same at the old folks' home.
00:04:44 She just nourishes
00:04:48 Know what she told me?
00:04:50 "You caused me to change, Eric.
00:04:54 "Everything I imagined crumbled.
00:04:57 "I never expected to be on me own."
00:05:00 - Do you know what I do?
00:05:02 No, I shouldn't be telling you this.
00:05:05 Well, you gotta tell me now, Lily.
00:05:09 About once every three months,
00:05:11 I go on the net and I'll pick out
00:05:14 You know,
00:05:17 Even by the sea sometimes
00:05:20 And then I just up and I go.
00:05:23 Never the same place,
00:05:27 - It sounds great.
00:05:30 Do you not get a bit lonely
00:05:34 No. Sometimes I take a lover.
00:05:40 Shocked?
00:05:41 Well, I suppose
00:05:47 Probablement, some lean, shy,
00:05:53 athletic foreign student
00:05:54 fascinated by a mature woman
00:06:00 Fucking hell, mate, I was hoping
00:06:03 Fucking hell.
00:06:09 - No way.
00:06:12 Jesus Christ, I don't believe it.
00:06:15 Me blue suede shoes.
00:06:19 I had a bonfire in
00:06:21 Went round the house and I gathered
00:06:23 absolutely everything
00:06:25 Come to throwing them on and,
00:06:32 Thank God for that.
00:06:34 That was a good night.
00:06:37 You know what? It was the best night.
00:06:41 I like this woman.
00:06:46 She has big balls.
00:06:52 Yeah, well, one day she's gonna
00:06:54 and not feel sorry for me.
00:06:57 Personal trainer. New regime. Day one.
00:07:01 - What?
00:07:18 I'll show you.
00:07:21 Front and side. Yeah. Front and side.
00:07:25 Open it. Open yourself to the right.
00:07:28 And with a jump. Okay?
00:07:30 Jump, open.
00:07:33 Jog.
00:07:35 Right, jump and open.
00:07:38 Left, jump, open.
00:07:40 Good. And again.
00:07:44 And again.
00:07:54 Good.
00:08:05 What are you doing?
00:08:10 What are you doing?
00:08:11 What's it look like I'm doing?
00:08:14 I'm keeping fit, mate.
00:08:16 - What?
00:08:20 Are you all right?
00:08:22 Part of me new regime.
00:08:26 You're something.
00:08:28 You two, come over to my gaff tonight.
00:08:32 And bring Meatballs with ya.
00:08:34 Still jogging?
00:08:37 - What's happening?
00:08:38 - Right, lads. Come in.
00:08:40 - What's the Bobby Moore?
00:08:42 There's far too much shit
00:08:44 - Not kidding, are you.
00:08:46 So we're having a clear-out of tellies.
00:08:47 Telly number one. In here, lads.
00:08:49 Right, here we go.
00:08:52 - Hello, ladies.
00:08:54 Aye aye, what's going on here?
00:08:56 - Fucking hell.
00:08:58 Is that Maureen
00:08:59 Eric, get out.
00:09:01 No, I've seen this. It's called,
00:09:04 Eh, Ryan?
00:09:05 Eric, can you fuck off, please?
00:09:08 You can't tell
00:09:09 You're smoking a spliff,
00:09:11 you're watching a porn film.
00:09:12 Yeah, well what's
00:09:14 Get the telly out, lads.
00:09:16 Right, come on, let's be having it.
00:09:18 You're not taking my telly.
00:09:19 There's another one in the kitchen.
00:09:21 That's my telly. I got that for you.
00:09:22 One in Jess's room.
00:09:24 Don't even think
00:09:26 - Cheers, lads.
00:09:28 That's my telly! That's my telly.
00:09:31 You're not taking...
00:09:32 - Cheers, lads.
00:09:34 Spleen's gonna get
00:09:36 And there's one in Ryan's
00:09:38 Don't even think about going in my room.
00:09:40 Leave the one
00:09:41 - Don't...
00:09:43 Leave the one in your room?
00:09:44 What, what are you doing?
00:09:57 That smells good, Dad.
00:09:58 - Oh, it is. Lovely.
00:10:01 Steak, chips,
00:10:06 - About time, Eric. I'm starving.
00:10:08 Dearie me.
00:10:15 Where's our plates?
00:10:17 Didn't I tell you, lads?
00:10:19 New rules. No work, no food.
00:10:23 What?
00:10:26 I've been waiting for this.
00:10:30 So?
00:10:32 Oh, yeah.
00:10:34 Play your games, Eric. Not arsed.
00:10:36 Good. 'Cause it makes me feel great.
00:10:38 Yeah, I hope it does.
00:10:41 Fucking mangey twat.
00:11:19 Hello?
00:11:21 Eric, did you just phone me?
00:11:24 Yeah, that was me, Lily.
00:11:28 And what did you want?
00:11:30 Christ, I've forgotten what
00:11:33 So you thought you'd
00:11:37 Oh, no. I was just wondering if
00:11:40 at the weekend, you know,
00:11:42 Sam can come as well, you know,
00:11:45 Only if you want to, like,
00:11:48 You know, if you're not in
00:11:51 with your young athletic lover
00:11:54 Very funny, Eric.
00:11:56 I didn't mean it like that, Lily.
00:11:58 Yes. Yeah, I'd like that, Eric.
00:12:02 I must warn you.
00:12:05 Okay. Yeah, no problem.
00:12:06 - That's great. Thanks, Eric.
00:12:09 Bye. Bye.
00:12:11 Yes! Fucking hell.
00:12:37 Shit.
00:13:05 Did you know about this?
00:13:08 Tell me the truth now, Jess.
00:13:11 Honestly, Dad, I don't know.
00:13:15 Jesus Christ. What the fuck
00:13:19 I don't know, Dad.
00:13:21 It's not fucking fake, is it?
00:13:25 That twat in the black car.
00:13:27 Who the fuck is he, Jess?
00:13:30 Zac.
00:13:32 He's a real hard case.
00:13:37 He's clever, yeah?
00:13:41 Well, when did it start?
00:13:43 - Well, I did try and tell you, but...
00:13:47 It seems like you don't care.
00:14:47 Fuck!
00:14:50 You looking for this?
00:14:56 Pass that thing here.
00:14:57 Thing? It's a fucking gun, Ryan.
00:15:01 What are you doing in my room? It's none
00:15:03 This is my house!
00:15:07 Eric, you don't know what's
00:15:08 Well, you better fucking tell me then.
00:15:11 If I don't get that to him, yeah?
00:15:15 You better go and tell him to fuck off.
00:15:17 Or I will, all right?
00:15:19 You're not fucking having it, Ryan.
00:15:20 Fuck off!
00:15:23 Give me the fucking gun, Eric!
00:15:25 Bollocks!
00:15:28 - You're going fucking nowhere.
00:15:30 You're going fucking nowhere.
00:15:32 - Fucking nowhere.
00:15:34 No. Fuck off. Bastard.
00:15:38 You fucking stupid little prick!
00:15:45 - Dad, are you all right?
00:15:48 Look at your head.
00:15:51 Oh, shit.
00:15:53 Are you sure, Dad?
00:15:57 Right.
00:16:00 Listen. I'll ring Meatballs, right?
00:16:03 He said I could use his car.
00:16:05 get the fucking keys off him,
00:16:08 Dad, I'm not leaving you like this.
00:16:10 Just go on. I can't go round.
00:16:12 Go on. Jess, I'll be all right.
00:16:14 - Dad, I'll be quick, yeah?
00:16:20 Fuck.
00:16:27 Oh, God, this is like looking
00:16:29 Jess, we could be here all night.
00:16:31 I know, Dad, but...
00:16:39 What's he saying?
00:16:41 Everyone's saying,
00:16:42 Oh, shit.
00:16:47 - Well?
00:17:00 Have you seen this guy?
00:17:02 And he's about 19.
00:17:04 And he's wearing a blue top.
00:17:07 What?
00:17:10 - What's up?
00:17:12 - For fuck's sake.
00:17:14 Fuck, man,
00:17:16 - Go, Dad.
00:17:18 Well, he hasn't, has he?
00:17:20 - He's what?
00:17:22 A fucking bullet-proof vest?
00:17:24 I thought you knew.
00:17:26 How am I supposed to know he's got...
00:17:29 Right, it's the next left here.
00:17:33 - For fuck's sake.
00:17:34 - Look at this, for fuck's sake, man.
00:17:36 There's a fucking ambulance there
00:17:38 Try and have a fucking look.
00:17:39 There's someone going in
00:17:41 - I can't see, Dad.
00:17:43 - I can't see anything.
00:17:44 For fuck's sake.
00:17:51 I can't see him. I can't see him, Dad.
00:17:53 There's no-one in
00:17:54 I can't see anything.
00:17:56 The fucking copper's
00:17:57 - They're armed police!
00:17:59 All right. Fucking hell,
00:18:53 What the fuck is going on, Ryan?
00:18:57 Don't know what to do, Eric.
00:19:04 - You shot someone?
00:19:11 First he told me it was just a fake.
00:19:14 Then it was only to defend himself.
00:19:19 Just hiding it?
00:19:22 Someone else just pulls the trigger.
00:19:25 And some kid just gets
00:19:26 I didn't think that were gonna happen.
00:19:30 Zac asked me to do it as
00:19:36 Did he pay ya?
00:19:39 Just sort of like brought me
00:19:44 Gave me £200. After a week,
00:19:48 "I don't wanna look after it any more."
00:19:49 But he just shook his head
00:19:53 Why doesn't he hold it?
00:19:56 It's back to prison if he gets caught.
00:19:59 And he can get it
00:20:02 And if you get caught?
00:20:07 I get five years, Eric, minimum.
00:20:08 Fuck, Ryan! That's five years
00:20:20 He shot someone.
00:20:25 - A drug dealer?
00:20:28 You've got no idea, Eric.
00:20:33 You're telling me he shot someone
00:20:36 Yeah.
00:20:38 Jesus fucking Christ.
00:20:42 - Did he kill him?
00:20:45 He shot him in the back. He'll live.
00:20:48 Right, that's it. We're going
00:20:50 - Come on! Cops, now!
00:20:52 - Eric!
00:20:54 We just go to the cops
00:20:55 No. Listen to me. You can't.
00:21:01 Trust me. They've done it before.
00:21:04 Please, Eric, listen to me.
00:21:06 If we go to the coppers, yeah,
00:21:09 They'll rip his fucking face apart.
00:21:12 Fuck's sake.
00:21:16 Fucking... What the fuck's going on?
00:21:20 I can't fucking believe it.
00:21:23 If I get off, they get Jess.
00:21:26 That's how it fucking works,
00:21:32 I've got to speak to him.
00:21:35 You can't speak to him.
00:21:38 They don't give a fuck.
00:21:39 But we can't fucking live like this.
00:21:41 We can't go to the cops.
00:21:45 I've gotta find him, ain't I?
00:21:47 No, you can't. Eric, listen.
00:21:50 - Right, give me his number.
00:21:52 - Give me his number.
00:21:54 Ryan, give me his fucking number or
00:21:59 Fucking number, now.
00:22:34 Fuck me. How are you, Jack?
00:22:37 I'm all right. Name's Eric.
00:22:39 Jack. Jack Nicholson. One Flew Over
00:22:43 Heard you've been having a bit of
00:22:46 In with the fruitcakes
00:22:49 Nasty rumours them, Jack.
00:22:51 Listen. You've gotta
00:22:54 I haven't seen it.
00:22:56 Got to? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:22:57 I can't fucking...
00:23:00 More germs than a sailor's cock them
00:23:02 Put it away.
00:23:04 - D'you know my nickname?
00:23:06 The Prophet.
00:23:08 I can sense the future, me.
00:23:10 And I sense that
00:23:12 with your tail
00:23:14 Up the carpet, up the floorboard
00:23:19 Yes, yeah, you fucking are.
00:23:20 I can't. Listen.
00:23:22 If you don't want it,
00:23:23 and that's the end of it.
00:23:25 - Throw it away, will ya?
00:23:27 Here are, Buzz.
00:23:32 Oh, for fuck's sake. Fuck off.
00:23:36 I'm fucking kidding.
00:23:38 - Get him. Go on. Go on, boy.
00:23:40 - Made your mind up?
00:23:41 - Go on. Get him, boy.
00:23:44 Let me go, you bastards.
00:23:45 - What d'you wanna do, Jack?
00:23:47 Fuck off. Get it out.
00:23:50 Bite him! Bite the bastard! Get him!
00:23:59 Dad?
00:24:01 You all right?
00:24:31 You ready? Ready? Here we go.
00:24:34 Open wide.
00:24:38 Lovely, eh?
00:24:40 - Tasty. Tasty.
00:24:42 That's nice, isn't it, eh?
00:24:45 Here we are. Look at this.
00:24:47 Oh, no way. Look at that.
00:24:49 - Wow.
00:24:51 You made that?
00:24:53 Yeah. Don't laugh.
00:24:54 He didn't even make it.
00:24:56 Well, I got the recipe from
00:24:59 - I had to bribe him to do it.
00:25:00 lt'd have been cheaper for me to
00:25:03 - Well, at least I made it.
00:25:04 I tell you what,
00:25:06 - It does.
00:25:08 Look what your Uncle Jess has made.
00:25:11 Here you are.
00:25:13 Might even put some in the liquidiser
00:25:15 - Cheers. Cheers.
00:25:17 Here's to you both.
00:25:19 Seriously, I cannot thank you
00:25:21 I would never have managed without ya.
00:25:23 - Come on.
00:25:24 Well, no. My supervisor said
00:25:26 So, I know it's a bit late, but I should
00:25:29 Tell you what, love, though,
00:25:32 - You don't half deserve it.
00:25:33 Well, that's down to you two.
00:25:35 Seriously, I managed to get
00:25:37 and I could not have done it, honestly.
00:25:39 I can't thank you enough.
00:26:09 - Are you okay, Eric?
00:26:12 I've just got this headache
00:26:16 Hope it isn't us.
00:26:19 No. It's been
00:26:23 Honestly.
00:26:25 What is it then?
00:26:29 It's just the boys. It's a long story.
00:26:33 I just, gotta figure out
00:26:38 So there is something wrong.
00:26:44 Shit. It's not worth moaning about.
00:26:50 D'you know what, Eric?
00:26:52 Sometimes you just have to risk it.
00:26:59 I'll get there.
00:27:01 Fancy a coffee?
00:27:04 Yeah, okay.
00:27:15 Armed police!
00:27:16 Armed police officer.
00:27:18 - Get down on the floor!
00:27:19 Fucking not moving.
00:27:25 Not moving. Not moving.
00:27:30 Put your hands behind your back.
00:27:32 Put your hands behind your back.
00:27:34 Just do as they say,
00:27:38 Do as we say. It's all right.
00:27:39 It's all right, Lily.
00:27:41 Leave us. Leave 'em alone.
00:27:44 It's okay, Lily.
00:27:47 There's a fucking baby!
00:27:51 Lily. Lily, calm down.
00:27:55 Bring him here.
00:27:57 - Help me.
00:27:58 All right. All right. Come on.
00:28:00 - Onto your knees.
00:28:02 Onto your feet.
00:28:08 It's okay, sweetheart.
00:28:14 - That's one out.
00:28:22 Fuck's going on?
00:28:24 Fuckers! Jess.
00:28:27 - Dad!
00:28:31 - Sam, are you all right?
00:28:33 Sam! Sam!
00:28:39 Lily, are you all right, love?
00:28:43 Oh, fucking hell.
00:28:44 Lily, are you okay?
00:28:47 Where have the fucking lads gone?
00:28:48 What the fuck's going on?
00:29:08 They're looking for a gun.
00:29:11 Are the lads in a gang?
00:29:13 - No, don't be daft.
00:29:17 Is there a gun in the house?
00:29:25 If you invited me, Daisy and Sam
00:29:28 you know what that means,
00:29:32 Yeah, Lily.
00:29:42 Now, what really happened
00:29:45 - To me eye?
00:29:48 I told you what happened, Lily.
00:29:51 Some nutter on the post round
00:30:00 Hiya. Hiya. We've got your daughter
00:30:03 waiting to take them home.
00:30:05 If you wanna follow me,
00:30:06 - Okay.
00:30:30 I don't get it.
00:30:33 Where's it gone?
00:30:34 Fucking state of this.
00:30:39 They've lifted the floorboards.
00:30:41 That's a good question.
00:30:54 - Are you surprised?
00:30:56 - Eh? You surprised, eh?
00:30:59 Oh. So was the fucking chicken.
00:31:00 - Fucking hell.
00:31:02 Hey, I've never been a lover of chicken,
00:31:07 - Oh, God's sake.
00:31:10 Put it on loudspeaker.
00:31:16 Yeah, it's me.
00:31:18 Have they gone?
00:31:20 Yeah. How the fuck do you know?
00:31:24 Right, Ryan. You still got it or what?
00:31:28 Yeah, I still got it.
00:31:30 Good.
00:31:31 Right, this calls for a bit
00:31:34 - D'you hear me?
00:31:38 Good. I'm gonna need it soon.
00:31:48 So what are you
00:31:51 Let that fucker shoot
00:31:53 for laughing at his shirt or something,
00:31:54 then stick it under your bed for him,
00:31:57 Fucking ruining other people's lives.
00:32:04 - And yours, Dad.
00:32:10 If we ever get through this shit,
00:32:11 things are fucking changing
00:32:16 Oh, what fucking now?
00:32:19 What's that about?
00:32:22 They've put a video of you on YouTube.
00:32:25 Who's put me on fucking YouTube?
00:32:27 Who d'you think?
00:32:29 That fucking twat with the camera!
00:32:31 That's why that fucking twat
00:32:35 Come on, boy. Come on, boy.
00:32:42 Let me out. Get him out.
00:32:49 Get me away from it. Bastards!
00:32:52 I'm sat there,
00:32:56 And I'm looking at meself, I'm looking
00:32:59 And it was like being out of me
00:33:01 looking down on meself,
00:33:04 I can't fucking cope with it, mate.
00:33:10 I don't know what to do, Eric.
00:33:13 There's nowt I can do.
00:33:19 Always got more choices than we think.
00:33:24 Oh, not another shave? I've done that.
00:33:27 Different possibilities.
00:33:29 You try something, it doesn't work.
00:33:31 Try something else. Always.
00:33:33 Like what?
00:33:35 Your teammates.
00:33:37 Oh, God, I, couldn't even begin
00:33:41 I mean, where do I start?
00:33:43 "Have you got a minute, lads, yeah?
00:33:44 "It's about my lad. He's minding
00:33:48 "who shoots kids in the back if they
00:33:50 I mean, God, I'm just too ashamed.
00:33:56 They are your friends, are they?
00:33:58 Yeah, they're me mates, yeah.
00:33:59 You think you can say everything
00:34:03 Yeah, I suppose you can, yeah.
00:34:05 So trust them.
00:34:07 - Play him at his own game.
00:34:08 - Like what?
00:34:10 and phone the fucking dibble.
00:34:11 - Yeah, but gun in his house.
00:34:13 - Why can't you do that?
00:34:16 The only thing you can do
00:34:19 It's out. Out of the question.
00:34:21 - There's a gun in your house.
00:34:24 Stop going on about lynch mob,
00:34:26 - Here are, he'll know.
00:34:29 All right, Meats?
00:34:30 - All right, mate?
00:34:32 - Another book.
00:34:35 We know that.
00:34:36 Is that the latest research
00:34:40 You can't negotiate with 'em,
00:34:44 You've just gotta fuck 'em up.
00:34:46 You've gotta make them think
00:34:49 They're a big gang of thugs,
00:34:51 I mean, like they got muscles
00:34:54 And they got, like... They got guns
00:34:58 I don't care about all this
00:35:00 Listen, does anyone
00:35:02 - Right. Who, who's on what here?
00:35:04 - Yeah, get us a pint of bitter.
00:35:06 Oh, I'll just say fucking
00:35:07 Hurry up.
00:35:09 - Thanks, Eric.
00:35:10 I still say we've
00:35:12 Oh, will you fuck off
00:35:15 Steve. Can I have a round, please?
00:35:18 Usual, Eric?
00:35:20 Yeah, yeah, same again
00:35:25 - Eric.
00:35:28 He that sews thistles
00:35:31 What?
00:35:33 He that sews thistles
00:35:36 - Thistles, prickles?
00:35:38 If they are faster than you,
00:35:43 If they are taller,
00:35:47 If they are stronger
00:35:50 - Remember?
00:35:51 Right. But not always.
00:35:54 To surprise them,
00:35:57 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:58 - Yeah. Okay.
00:36:01 Fuck, yeah.
00:36:03 Here you go, Eric. There's your drinks.
00:36:05 Right, yeah. Cheers. Listen.
00:36:07 Stick the rest of 'em on the bar
00:36:10 - Okay. Thank you.
00:36:11 - Nice one.
00:36:14 Here we are, here we are.
00:36:16 - Good man.
00:36:18 - Have you got 'em all there?
00:36:19 - Here you go.
00:36:21 - Lager. Bitter.
00:36:24 Right, listen.
00:36:26 What is he frightened of?
00:36:28 - Spleen. Spleen.
00:36:31 Gangsters. Other gangsters.
00:36:33 - No. No.
00:36:34 - His nana?
00:36:36 Knock fuck out of him, he'll come up
00:36:39 - Unions.
00:36:41 Go on. What?
00:36:42 Give us a clue.
00:36:44 Losing face. He's frightened of
00:36:48 Think about it.
00:36:49 Fucking wide-boy like him.
00:36:51 That's what I was saying.
00:36:52 Change. Me change, as well.
00:36:54 So if we could think of some way
00:36:55 - Yeah.
00:36:57 Showing him up?
00:36:58 Yeah. Something like that. Fucking hell.
00:37:00 - YouTube.
00:37:02 YouTube.
00:37:03 What the fuck's? Is that, is
00:37:06 No, he's right.
00:37:07 YouTube. Listen.
00:37:10 What sort of video?
00:37:19 Okay. Here we go.
00:37:22 directly to Worsley Road.
00:37:24 Take the...
00:37:28 Left turn on to A572 for rendezvous,
00:37:34 Over. Do you hear me?
00:37:36 Meatballs, are you near me?
00:37:38 Getting me head down.
00:37:41 Travis, are you, where are you?
00:37:45 Where are you?
00:37:48 Where are you? Meatballs,
00:37:51 This is going to cock.
00:37:53 - Where's coach two?
00:37:55 Where's coach two? Where is it?
00:38:00 You're worse than
00:38:02 What the fuck is going on in here?
00:38:06 What are you doing?
00:38:08 Tell him to slow down.
00:38:11 Slow down.
00:38:14 Spoil it. Just fucking sit down!
00:38:19 Okay, men, take convoy. Stay back.
00:38:27 Okay, men, stay in
00:38:29 Let's go. Come on, let's fucking go.
00:38:30 Come on,
00:38:32 Stop fucking about.
00:38:34 We need to get in
00:38:36 We got 45 minutes.
00:38:38 - Are we all right for it?
00:38:39 - Are we all up for it?
00:38:41 Operation Cantona!
00:38:45 What a friend we have in Jesus
00:38:48 He's our saviour from afar
00:38:51 What a friend we have in Jesus
00:38:54 And his name is Cantona
00:38:57 Ooh, ah, Cantona
00:39:00 Ooh, ah, Cantona
00:39:06 Cantona, ooh, ah, Cantona
00:39:34 Wait a minute. Fucking dog.
00:39:42 - How big is it?
00:39:43 Big. It's fucking big.
00:39:45 Should have brought some steak.
00:39:50 Give us them sausages.
00:39:57 - Here are, here are.
00:39:59 - Come on, get him. Get him.
00:40:01 Fucking hell,
00:40:02 Shut up, shut up.
00:40:04 God, you big ugly git.
00:40:06 - All right. Hang on. Fuck's sake, man.
00:40:09 Come on.
00:40:11 - Right. Here, here, here. Right.
00:40:14 Get the fucker.
00:40:16 He's going,
00:40:18 That's it. Got the fucker.
00:40:19 Shut up, shut up.
00:40:22 Post, special delivery.
00:40:28 Come on.
00:40:31 Right, Sonny.
00:40:36 Okay, men. Operation Cantona.
00:40:41 - Express yourselves.
00:40:56 Come on!
00:40:59 Fucking hell's going on?
00:41:04 Oi! Nobby.
00:41:10 Go and get Fenner.
00:41:11 - Fenner.
00:41:13 - Fenner.
00:41:15 What? What you shouting for?
00:41:16 Have a look out
00:41:18 - Where's the phone?
00:41:19 - Fenner, phone, Buzz.
00:41:22 Fucking hell!
00:41:23 The fuck's going on?
00:41:25 What? What? What the fuck is going on?
00:41:28 Get off the fucking car.
00:41:32 Have a look. Look out the window.
00:41:35 Get off the car. Hey.
00:41:42 - Come on then. Who fucking wants it?
00:41:45 Come on. Get off the fucking grass.
00:41:48 I'll take your fucking head off.
00:41:49 - Leave him alone, you.
00:41:51 - What are you gonna do, eh?
00:41:53 or I'll fucking have you, you fucking.
00:41:54 You gonna do us all, are ya?
00:41:55 I'll have you first, you fucking fat
00:41:58 - You recognise that?
00:42:00 Eh, you fucking do. It's yours. Eh?
00:42:02 Fucking. What you fucking...
00:42:05 All of ya, fucking come on.
00:42:06 Right, boys. Fire!
00:42:10 - Turn it off!
00:42:12 - There you go.
00:42:13 - Come on.
00:42:16 Fuck off.
00:42:17 Fuck off. Fuck off. Hey, is this it?
00:42:20 Right, boys. Get in there.
00:42:28 - Come on. Come on.
00:42:30 Get away with that fucking camera.
00:42:32 - D'you recognise it now?
00:42:34 - What?
00:42:35 It's a fucking gun. What d'you want?
00:42:37 Do you recognise it?
00:42:38 It's a fucking gun.
00:42:41 Oh, fucking nice one.
00:42:42 - D'you recognise it now, eh?
00:42:44 - Acknowledge it now.
00:42:47 No, it's a fucking gun.
00:42:50 Get to fuck.
00:42:52 Fucking hell! No! Leave it out! Fuck!
00:42:55 - Do you recognise it?
00:42:58 Right, boys.
00:43:00 - Decorate!
00:43:02 Fucking hell. You got it in me eye!
00:43:06 You fucking divs.
00:43:08 Do you recognise it now?
00:43:09 Fuck off.
00:43:26 Okay, boys, hold fire.
00:43:30 Hold it. Hold it.
00:43:35 All right, boys, it's a court. Get back.
00:43:37 You fucker.
00:43:39 All right, fat Eric,
00:43:42 - And?
00:43:45 You get that, boys?
00:43:48 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:43:53 I am gonna smash this
00:43:56 Whoa, not the fucking tiles.
00:43:59 - Are they Italian?
00:44:01 You fucking twat.
00:44:03 You fucking cunt. Fucking pack it in!
00:44:22 You know that family?
00:44:26 You don't look at 'em, you don't talk
00:44:30 Because you know what'll happen?
00:44:33 Come on, tosspot,
00:44:36 Well, let me tell you your future.
00:44:39 We're gonna turn up
00:44:41 and we're gonna take this house
00:44:47 And this little movie that you've been
00:44:53 One word to Ryan
00:44:56 It's YouTube.
00:44:58 Well, whatever it is.
00:45:01 With your fucking poncy posing pouch
00:45:05 and all the people laughing
00:45:09 You fancy that, do ya? Eh?
00:45:12 And if you try and run away
00:45:15 or some rabbit hole
00:45:19 we'll find ya.
00:45:20 I'll find ya! You know why?
00:45:23 'Cause I'm a fucking postman!
00:45:32 Ooh, ah, Cantona
00:45:35 Ooh, ah, Cantona
00:45:39 Ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah
00:45:43 Cantona
00:45:49 Get on, boys. Well done.
00:45:50 Come on, let's get to the match.
00:45:53 Well done, boys, well done.
00:45:57 Oh, man. Oi, Eric,
00:46:00 It's what I'm here for, innit?
00:46:02 D'you know what I mean?
00:46:04 And then, like, you've
00:46:06 It's all right.
00:46:07 I'm just, I'm sorry
00:46:09 - It's all right.
00:46:10 - Thanks. Thanks, Eric.
00:46:12 - You're welcome, honest.
00:46:15 Have you spoke to Lily?
00:46:16 Nah. She's not
00:46:18 You've got to speak to her.
00:46:19 Just tell her what happened
00:46:21 Listen, that's all finished with, that.
00:46:22 I mean, she's had enough. You know what?
00:46:25 Yeah, but she ain't had enough.
00:46:27 If she knows about what I
00:46:29 - Listen, lads. Listen. Leave it.
00:46:31 Call her or something, then. Dad.
00:46:32 I will, I will, I will.
00:46:36 Come on, Cantona, you dozy git.
00:46:40 Come on. We're gonna miss the match.
00:46:45 Come on.
00:47:10 - It's a nice place, isn't it?
00:47:16 - Hiya. Are you all right.
00:47:56 I'm proud of you, kid, proud of you.
00:47:58 Oh, Dad.
00:48:00 So proud of you for Daisy as well.
00:48:04 Come on, Sam.
00:48:05 All the hooligans on the outside.
00:48:07 - There you go.
00:48:09 In the wheelie bin.
00:48:11 - Yeah?
00:48:12 No taking the piss out of my hairdo,
00:48:15 Oh, come on.
00:48:17 - You haven't got the book on it?
00:48:19 - Meatballs.
00:48:21 I know what I'm doing.
00:48:23 Yeah, reading books.
00:48:26 That's it. No, come on.
00:48:28 Oh, no, this is so embarrassing.
00:48:29 Come on. Come on, it's your graduation.
00:48:31 Sam and Daisy, come on.
00:48:33 - Where's Jess? Cheers, mate.
00:48:41 All right now.
00:48:43 God, she looks beautiful, doesn't she?
00:48:45 I'm so happy for her.
00:48:50 Listen, thanks for ringing, you know.
00:48:52 Made today a lot easier.
00:48:54 I was just so embarrassed
00:48:57 after all that nonsense at the house.
00:49:00 Tell you what, I don't know
00:49:03 It took a lot of courage,
00:49:06 And d'you know, them boys,
00:49:09 they love you to pieces. So does Sam.
00:49:13 You must have done something right, eh?
00:49:17 I wanna take a picture of Mum and Dad.
00:49:19 Mum. Dad. Come on. Your turn now.
00:49:21 No, no. No, it's all right, love.
00:49:22 - Oh, come on. Come on. Come on.
00:49:25 - Will you take her?
00:49:28 Come on, it'll be all right.
00:49:29 - Where do you want us?
00:49:32 You're all right, it's on automatic
00:49:34 What, here?
00:49:35 - Just press that.
00:49:37 - All right. Nice one.
00:49:39 Dad, what the hell
00:49:42 It's me blue shoes.
00:49:43 Are you kidding me?
00:49:46 And you think I didn't notice,
00:49:48 Lunatic? Moi?
00:49:55 That's a lovely one.
00:50:27 When the seagulls... follow the trawler,
00:50:33 it's because they think sardines
00:50:37 will be thrown into the sea.
00:50:40 Thank you very much.