Major Payne

en
00:00:12 "Bad To The Bone" by George
00:00:31 Now on the day
00:00:34 The nurses all
00:00:37 And they gazed
00:00:39 At the joy they had found
00:00:41 The head nurse spoke up
00:00:44 Said leave this one alone
00:00:46 She could tell right away
00:00:48 That I was bad to the bone
00:00:51 Bad to the bone
00:01:26 Bad to the bone
00:01:28 Bad to the bone
00:01:30 Bad
00:01:32 - Let's move out !
00:01:35 - B-B-B-B-Bad
00:01:38 B-B-B-B-Bad
00:01:40 Bad to the bone
00:01:43 When I walk the streets
00:01:45 Kings and queens step aside
00:01:47 - Every woman I meet
00:01:49 They all stay satisfied
00:01:52 I wanna tell you about it
00:01:54 What I see
00:01:57 And I'm here
00:01:58 - That I'm bad to the bone
00:02:01 - Bad to the bone
00:02:03 - Bad to the bone
00:02:06 Let me take a look at that.
00:02:10 - Want me to show you a little trick ?
00:02:13 Take your mind
00:02:15 Give me your hand.
00:02:17 Now, you may feel
00:02:25 Agh ! My finger !
00:02:29 - Work every time.
00:02:31 And I'm bad to the bone
00:02:33 Bad to the bone
00:02:36 B-B-B-B-B-Bad
00:02:38 B-B-B-B-Bad
00:02:43 Bad to the bone
00:02:58 You had better give up, senor.
00:03:03 Nope, but I can clean
00:03:06 one of them burritos
00:03:11 And I'm bad to the bone
00:03:13 B-B-B-B-Bad
00:03:16 B-B-B-B-Bad
00:03:18 B-B-B-B-Bad
00:03:33 At ease, Payne.
00:03:37 Relax. Do you know
00:03:40 Sir, no, sir !
00:03:42 The promotion board report
00:03:46 This is the new
00:03:49 Your name is not on it.
00:03:52 You get two chances
00:03:54 then we gotta
00:03:58 Base admin is cutting your
00:04:02 General, are you tryin' to tell me
00:04:07 there is no room left for
00:04:11 The fighting is no longer
00:04:14 Now all the blood is shed
00:04:17 Boys like us
00:04:23 There gotta be somebody
00:04:26 I'm sorry, Major,
00:04:29 You've killed 'em all.
00:04:41 It's been two whole
00:04:46 and already I'm startin'
00:04:50 Problem is I ain't
00:04:55 God, I'm hungry.
00:04:58 Hungry for action.
00:05:01 - Hungry for blood.
00:05:04 Hell.
00:05:07 I'm just
00:05:15 - Feel I'm gettin' weaker...
00:05:19 while Charlie's growin'
00:05:24 I can't lose my edge.
00:05:26 I gotta keep my strength up.
00:05:31 Because the hard reality was...
00:05:35 I gotta get a job.
00:05:38 - And what better place...
00:05:40 than somewhere that would
00:05:43 my skills
00:05:46 Mister... Payne ?
00:05:51 This is a dramatization
00:05:55 You arrive on the scene to find
00:05:58 - Hello, ma'am.
00:06:01 by her husband,
00:06:04 - Happy to meet you.
00:06:08 Your objective is to effectively
00:06:12 Neutralize.
00:06:15 Begin.
00:06:17 He hit me !
00:06:21 - You like to beat women ?
00:06:24 Don't never... hit...
00:06:27 - Hear me ? Hear me ? Huh ?
00:06:42 Payne, what happened ?
00:06:45 It's civilian life, sir.
00:06:50 Listen, I made some calls,
00:06:54 It's not great, you understand,
00:07:00 So after two and a half weeks...
00:07:02 of livin' a civilian puke's
00:07:06 I was back in uniform,
00:07:12 Back to the sweet smell
00:07:16 and killin'.
00:07:19 Little did I know
00:07:22 I've toured 11 separate
00:07:26 from Iraq to Haiti,
00:07:28 but nothin' I did would prepare me
00:07:33 I was told it would be
00:07:36 It was sure to be
00:08:00 The Glee Club...
00:08:03 - will be meeting at 3:30.
00:08:13 Will the teachers
00:08:17 for the science fair judging.
00:08:19 Tiger ? Tiger, come back here.
00:08:22 - I'm not gonna chase you.
00:08:33 What you runnin' from, boy ?
00:08:35 She's tryin' to give me
00:08:37 You don't like needles ?
00:08:41 You want me to show you a little trick
00:08:46 Here, gimme your hand.
00:08:49 Now, you may
00:08:52 Hi, I'm Emily Walburn,
00:08:55 You must be Major Payne.
00:08:59 That's a mighty fine handshake
00:09:02 - You wanna wrestle ?
00:09:05 Uh, no thanks.
00:09:07 I wrestle with these kids all day.
00:09:12 Come on, Tiger.
00:09:14 Nice meetin' you,
00:09:19 Tiger !
00:09:22 I'm not gonna chase you.
00:09:27 Mmm.
00:09:33 - Come in.
00:09:44 Major Payne reportin'
00:09:50 What ?
00:09:52 Major Payne.
00:09:56 Oh. Right.
00:10:00 Come again ?
00:10:03 The green boys.
00:10:05 They wear those green things.
00:10:08 You know, it's funny, when they stand
00:10:15 Why are you here ?
00:10:17 The R.O.T.C. program.
00:10:20 I understand you've been placin'
00:10:25 - I am here to remedy that.
00:10:29 We have an R.O.T.C. program ?
00:10:33 - The green boys, sir.
00:10:36 Between us, I don't care
00:10:41 as long as you keep them
00:10:44 Is that all ?
00:10:46 - Oh ! Would you like
00:10:50 No. I'd like to see
00:10:53 Fall in ! Move it,
00:10:58 Come on, Williams !
00:11:01 Mo-o-o-o-ve !
00:11:05 Fall in, everyone !
00:11:07 Come on, people !
00:11:10 Hustle, hustle, hustle !
00:11:13 Giddyap, let's go !
00:11:21 Sir, the squad
00:11:30 Carry on.
00:11:38 My name is
00:11:43 As of 0800...
00:11:47 I am replacin'
00:11:49 as your commanding officer !
00:12:00 See now,
00:12:02 is a failure to communicate.
00:12:10 Do... not... attempt...
00:12:12 to challenge...
00:12:14 my... authority !
00:12:16 I have eight weeks
00:12:20 into a well-disciplined
00:12:23 From this day forward,
00:12:26 your sorry asses belong to me.
00:12:29 You will not eat, sleep,
00:12:34 or even dig in your butts
00:12:38 Know this: Killin'
00:12:43 and business is good !
00:12:46 - Yoo-hoo !
00:12:51 I have to go
00:12:53 - You hold it, turd.
00:12:58 I said hold it, or
00:13:01 and kick it around
00:13:06 Now, be advised, ladies,
00:13:09 - we are going to win
00:13:13 - I said win: Whiskey, Indian, November.
00:13:18 Get used to the sound
00:13:20 - Major Payne !
00:13:25 I did somethin' bad.
00:13:32 - You nasty little worm !
00:13:36 Go change your Huggies, boy,
00:13:38 and be back here pronto !
00:13:40 Stop that cryin' !
00:13:44 You think your tears'll stop Charlie
00:13:47 - and stickin' it in
00:13:50 - What the hell was that, you
00:13:59 Did I give you
00:14:01 - No, sir.
00:14:05 - otherwise I'll kick your ass
00:14:10 I see we have a sickly boy
00:14:14 We're gonna have to boost
00:14:16 Drop down,
00:14:21 - Count 'em out !
00:14:24 - Two, sir.
00:14:30 What are you laughin' at, pig-boy ?
00:14:35 You find a piece of candy
00:14:37 - No, sir !
00:14:39 - H-Heathcoat, sir !
00:14:43 You know, you remind me
00:14:46 If I poke your stomach
00:14:50 You know what ? I'm gonna help you
00:14:53 Drop down, give me 30 situps
00:14:57 Count 'em out !
00:15:00 - One, tubby, tubby !
00:15:03 - One, sir.
00:15:05 - Two, chubby, chubby !
00:15:07 Whoo !
00:15:11 Who you ? Redd Foxx ?
00:15:13 You Richard Pryor, ain't you ?
00:15:16 What's your name,
00:15:18 Dwight Williams, but the boys
00:15:20 - You can call me D.
00:15:23 Yeah, brother.
00:15:25 - You like the way I handle
00:15:29 It make you feel good to see
00:15:32 - Malcolm X.
00:15:35 - Yeah, brother ?
00:15:37 I... am not...
00:15:39 your damn brother !
00:15:41 Now drop down, give me
00:15:46 One, sir.
00:15:48 What are you lookin' at,
00:15:51 - Nothing, sir !
00:15:54 - No, sir !
00:15:58 Let me tell you all somethin':
00:16:03 And when a man
00:16:05 it make my Agent Orange act up,
00:16:08 - Do you understand me ?
00:16:11 - Do you all understand me ?
00:16:14 - I can't hear you.
00:16:17 And what is your damage,
00:16:21 You ignorant, or you
00:16:23 Yes, sir.
00:16:26 Oh. Thank you.
00:16:30 Now drop down,
00:16:33 for speakin' out of line !
00:16:36 - One, sir.
00:16:41 I didn't mean to offend you.
00:16:45 Can you read lips ?
00:16:48 If you don't answer me
00:16:53 I'm goin' put my foot in your ass !
00:16:57 Sir, yes, sir.
00:17:00 Hold on, guys.
00:17:05 Wait !
00:17:07 Hey, guys !
00:17:09 Come on !
00:17:12 Comin'.
00:17:17 Hello, gorgeous.
00:17:20 You know, you're out of
00:17:24 Yeah, well, uh, l-l like
00:17:27 - Admiral-- whatever.
00:17:32 Oooh. Looks like...
00:17:35 we got another major
00:17:39 - Oooh !
00:17:48 What's your name,
00:17:51 Uh, Cadet Alex Stone, sir !
00:17:55 Yes, sir !
00:18:02 Well, I'm glad to see
00:18:06 So do l. Heh-heh-heh.
00:18:16 From now on, my little group
00:18:20 you will strive
00:18:23 You will walk like me,
00:18:28 and until you win those games,
00:18:31 you will be bald like me !
00:18:35 Way to go this time, Alex.
00:18:38 Dotson, take these men
00:18:40 Yes, sir ! First
00:18:45 - Side straddle hop.
00:18:47 One, two, three.
00:18:50 Come on, bacon-boy !
00:18:56 - Ready, squad !
00:19:01 I'm writin' you up, buddy !
00:19:02 I'm writin' you up, buddy !
00:19:05 You're scaring me !
00:19:11 Hello, Miss Walburn.
00:19:13 Major Payne, could you please
00:19:18 why you shaved
00:19:20 Oh, that's my little
00:19:25 These boys have to
00:19:27 Their hairdo, that is.
00:19:32 Do they have to earn
00:19:42 What do you want,
00:19:45 Oh, he's upset about this morning.
00:19:51 Apparently he pissed all over
00:19:55 Well, maybe that's
00:19:58 'Cause he's six ? Woman, when I was
00:20:04 Well, I told him that you have
00:20:21 You think I owe you
00:20:25 Want me to take back some of those
00:20:32 Okay. I'm sorry
00:20:37 that can't hold your liquid
00:20:40 Now you get on outta my face
00:20:50 - Major, have you ever done
00:20:55 Woman, under this here hat...
00:20:59 I've trained 20,432...
00:21:02 combat killin' machines.
00:21:05 Well, that's just my point.
00:21:08 You see, now you're
00:21:12 Do you know what
00:21:16 Is that anything like where you take
00:21:20 after you torture him, so he don't have
00:21:27 Sort of.
00:21:30 I'd like to
00:21:34 Why don't you and I
00:21:37 in the emotional growth and development
00:21:41 What do you say ?
00:21:46 Will you be my big helper
00:21:53 - Yes.
00:22:04 Why do I feel
00:22:10 Ha ! Look at that baldy !
00:22:16 Hey ! Your head's
00:22:24 Nazi, fascist pig !
00:22:27 I know where I'm gonna shave him !
00:22:31 I didn't want you
00:22:34 Most of the body heat
00:22:38 and if I'm sick,
00:22:40 That damn Payne's already
00:22:43 Turd this, turd that.
00:22:46 Just shut up.
00:22:50 You tellin' me to shut up ?
00:22:52 and stop eatin' all that
00:22:57 I look like Curly
00:23:03 Did I say you
00:23:05 - No.
00:23:08 Ow !
00:23:12 Payne's gonna kill us.
00:23:16 I'm not sure he's familiar
00:23:19 Let's go, let's go,
00:23:21 Move it ! Saddle up
00:23:24 You ever hear of knocking,
00:23:26 You won't have to worry
00:23:29 I have good news
00:23:31 Pack your bedding, your kit
00:23:35 Where to ?
00:23:39 Hello, cue balls !
00:23:44 He's gotta be joking.
00:23:46 The squad that lives together,
00:23:50 Unity, turds.
00:23:53 That is the key word
00:23:57 Tiger, Leland,
00:23:59 you will reside
00:24:04 The rest of you garbage,
00:24:06 grab a rack and settle in.
00:24:09 grab a rack and settle in.
00:24:09 Let's move out.
00:24:12 You eyeball me again, I'll snatch it out
00:24:16 It's so damp.
00:24:20 You know how far we are
00:24:22 - Why can't I stay here ?
00:24:25 Major Payne, sir.
00:24:27 What ?
00:24:29 Sir, I think I speak for everyone
00:24:33 unacceptable, sir.
00:24:36 Really ?
00:24:40 Love my barracks night and day
00:24:44 Love my barracks
00:24:47 Won't complain
00:24:50 Won't complain
00:24:54 - Good plan this time, Alex.
00:24:58 All right, my little
00:25:01 uproot yourselves, climb out
00:25:05 You're gonna need it.
00:25:07 Tomorrow, ladies,
00:25:10 we gonna start
00:25:13 - The hard stuff ?
00:25:16 Let's move it, you turds !
00:25:19 You'll get no sympathy
00:25:22 You want sympathy, look in the
00:25:26 That's where
00:25:29 This ain't no walk in the park !
00:25:33 Hey, Dumbo ! You should be able
00:25:36 - with them big-ass ears, boy !
00:25:40 Hey, Williams ! You tell
00:25:45 if he don't get across that rope,
00:25:48 He'll hang you with it !
00:25:50 Heathcoat !
00:25:53 You get your fat body
00:25:56 - Take your fat,
00:26:00 Nobody's leavin' here until
00:26:03 is one minute,
00:26:06 Come on, he can't do it !
00:26:10 I can barely do it.
00:26:13 Slippery, he say !
00:26:16 You think Charlie care
00:26:19 Only thing he knows
00:26:21 What if this was
00:26:24 But it's not
00:26:28 - It is now.
00:26:30 One Mississippi.
00:26:34 Come on, guys ! What, are you crazy ?
00:26:37 Come on, guys ! What, are you crazy ?
00:26:44 - Damn ! Oh !
00:26:51 Who's the dummy now ?
00:26:55 So what is it, exactly ?
00:26:57 Concentrated dithiazanine.
00:26:59 - What the hell is that ?
00:27:02 This here'll pack enough punch
00:27:06 Payne'll never
00:27:09 He'll be makin' beef stool
00:27:12 - Yeah.
00:27:23 Kill !
00:27:40 Major Payne, sir ?
00:27:43 Can't you see
00:27:46 There's a call for you, sir.
00:28:27 He's coming !
00:29:10 Mmm. Mmm.
00:29:43 Hmm.
00:30:10 - Ready !
00:30:13 - Ready on the firing range !
00:30:16 - Turds, commence firing !
00:30:18 - Nah, that senile old fool
00:30:21 What kind of shootin' is that ?
00:30:23 Hey ! Hey, dummy !
00:30:26 What's the matter,
00:30:28 We gotta get rid of
00:30:30 You maggots couldn't
00:30:33 We're gonna
00:30:35 - Payne did something so vile,
00:30:38 so perverse,
00:30:41 so disgusting...
00:30:46 that Phillips will have
00:30:54 Like what ?
00:30:59 Why me ?
00:31:01 - 'Cause you have got the biggest tits.
00:31:05 - Shh. Shh.
00:31:10 Well, why not Wuligar ?
00:31:12 'Cause Wuligar's
00:31:31 Look, it's been
00:31:34 These Special Forces guys
00:31:38 Trust me.
00:31:43 What happened to
00:31:45 - This one's prettier.
00:31:47 - Shut up, Brian !
00:31:50 Williams, go.
00:31:57 Man, you sure about this ?
00:32:01 No, I checked on that.
00:32:03 Watch this.
00:32:06 Yo, turd-sniffer. Maggot-face !
00:32:09 See ?
00:32:11 Let's go.
00:32:22 - Get in.
00:32:25 Get in.
00:32:32 - Get in !
00:32:39 Now put your head
00:32:41 - Are you crazy ?
00:32:47 - Closer.
00:32:51 Closer.
00:32:54 Now, now, now put
00:33:00 Good. Now hold it.
00:33:02 Hold it. Okay.
00:33:13 - Hello, Betty.
00:33:25 Got no worry, got no stress
00:33:28 Got no worry, got no stress
00:33:31 'Cause we feel good
00:33:34 'Cause we feel good
00:33:37 Major Payne's
00:33:40 Major Payne's
00:33:43 Makes us squat
00:33:45 He makes us squat
00:33:48 Got no worries
00:33:51 - Got no worries, got no care
00:33:54 I'm a baldheaded son
00:33:57 I'm a baldheaded
00:34:00 Used to be Samson
00:34:03 Used to be Samson
00:34:05 Gotta earn my right
00:34:08 Gotta earn my right
00:34:11 I'll tell you, ladies,
00:34:15 Maybe I'll have to
00:34:18 - to Pimp Daddy Payne !
00:34:19 - Heh-heh-heh.
00:34:25 What are the boys doing
00:34:28 They puttin' on
00:34:35 I thought we had a little talk about
00:34:40 Weren't you gonna
00:34:44 Yeah, but they started it.
00:34:47 - Well, I'm stopping it.
00:34:50 - I was just gonna--
00:34:57 All right, ladies !
00:34:59 Take off those dresses. Head to
00:35:03 Let's move it.
00:35:06 - You should shave your legs more.
00:35:09 Good day, Miss Walburn.
00:35:13 Do you really think
00:35:15 is the best way to gain
00:35:18 They may not like me,
00:35:21 Let me be more direct.
00:35:24 - They hate you.
00:35:26 It'll draw them close together,
00:35:30 - That's a very cynical plan.
00:35:34 Here. I would like you to consider
00:35:39 I want you to have this book.
00:35:42 Read it.
00:35:46 "The ABC's of the Loving
00:35:50 - I don't need your book.
00:35:52 - I don't want it.
00:35:54 - I don't want it.
00:36:03 Okay.
00:36:18 Shut up.
00:36:20 All right. I got a surefire plan
00:36:24 - What is it ?
00:36:26 - It's gonna cost us. How much you got ?
00:36:29 - I got 25.
00:36:32 - All right, Dotson !
00:36:36 All right, we're takin' out
00:36:38 - Yeah !
00:36:43 "Love is the key...
00:36:46 to understandin'."
00:37:02 "The Three Bees.
00:37:05 Bee a good listener.
00:37:08 Bee sensitive
00:37:12 Well, hello, Miss Walburn.
00:37:15 I just came by to let you know that
00:37:19 so you might not want to
00:37:25 I will be... sensitive...
00:37:28 to his needs.
00:37:31 Have you been
00:37:33 I might have glanced at it
00:37:37 Oh, well, that's very good !
00:37:41 - Oh, shucks.
00:37:44 - He's back ! He's back !
00:37:48 The man who lives
00:37:50 Aw, boy, get on outta here with that
00:37:53 Go on, now. Git !
00:37:56 Sensitive.
00:38:03 Sensitive, sensitive.
00:38:08 Hello, there, fella.
00:38:12 It's called a nightmare.
00:38:15 You know
00:38:18 Well, that's all this is.
00:38:21 Why don't you run on back
00:38:24 before that man jump out the closet
00:38:32 Sensitive.
00:38:35 You call that
00:38:39 Let me give you
00:38:42 - Both of his parents are dead.
00:38:47 Lived in the Chelsea orphanage
00:38:51 I know all about it.
00:38:53 Well, then you should also know that
00:38:57 is a sadistic father figure
00:39:02 Maybe what he need...
00:39:04 is for you to pop your titty
00:39:07 and let the boy grow up.
00:39:10 Excuse me ?
00:39:14 I didn't stutter.
00:39:16 I said:
00:39:18 "Pop your titty out his mouth...
00:39:22 and stop babyin' him !"
00:39:25 I don't call it babying.
00:39:28 And I call it neutering !
00:39:32 And I call you an insecure,
00:39:36 dictatorial, egomaniacal,
00:39:42 I ain't frigid.
00:39:44 He's still there !
00:39:48 You wanna see nurturin' ?
00:40:04 He's in there ?
00:40:13 - If he's still in there,
00:40:17 Major Payne just terminated that
00:40:22 And if he's still in there,
00:40:29 You run on back to bed.
00:40:32 That bad man ain't
00:40:34 Thank you, Major.
00:40:37 I love you.
00:40:48 What's your angle, boy ?
00:40:52 - No, sir !
00:40:55 Major, Major !
00:40:57 He's just trying to show you
00:41:03 I don't like it.
00:41:06 Make me feel all funny.
00:41:20 - Uh, good night, Miss Walburn.
00:41:36 - Where is he ?
00:41:40 Alex ! Alex !
00:41:50 - Alex, did you do it ?
00:41:52 - Where were you ?
00:41:55 Squad ! Atten-hut !
00:42:01 Let's go, maggots.
00:42:04 Payne's not here
00:42:07 Payne's not here
00:42:09 Butt's so tight
00:42:11 Butt's so tight
00:42:14 - Sound off
00:42:16 - Sound off
00:42:18 Break it on down
00:42:22 Break it on down
00:42:28 Break it down
00:42:33 You like to rhyme,
00:42:37 What's your name ?
00:42:40 No, let me guess.
00:42:43 Turds ! Front leanin'
00:42:47 I'm 'a teach you
00:42:53 One !
00:42:55 Don't you feel dumb ?
00:42:58 Two !
00:43:02 Three.
00:43:04 Don't you ever make no jokes
00:43:07 otherwise I stomp you
00:43:29 All right, ladies.
00:43:33 Hey, Dunne.
00:43:36 Heh-heh.
00:43:40 - All right, we're headin'
00:43:43 for two hours
00:43:45 Yo, Payne !
00:43:52 You Payne ?
00:43:55 I got somethin'
00:43:57 Fee-fi-fo-fum.
00:44:01 What beanstalk
00:44:16 You know, I heard you've been
00:44:20 In fact,
00:44:22 in the real man's military !
00:44:25 - I heard that it's time
00:44:30 Know what I heard ?
00:44:33 I heard your mother was so fat
00:44:41 - Yes !
00:44:44 You thinkin'
00:44:49 Actually,
00:44:53 Heh-heh-heh.
00:44:57 Now, what I'm goin' do
00:45:01 and I'm 'a put it 'cross
00:45:03 - Don't give me
00:45:12 Agh.
00:45:14 Y-You said you were gonna--
00:45:16 hit me in the face.
00:45:19 What, you callin' me
00:45:23 Ooh !
00:45:30 Oh, children.
00:45:33 Somebody's gonna answer
00:45:38 I want names.
00:45:41 I wanna know
00:45:46 Don't all run at once.
00:45:50 I guess nobody's
00:45:53 Guess I just had that one a-comin'.
00:45:58 Well, you know
00:46:01 Seven 23-hour days...
00:46:05 full of fun and adventure.
00:46:07 I'm gonna
00:46:12 Sir.
00:46:15 Yes, turd ?
00:46:18 It was me, sir.
00:46:20 Well, that's one
00:46:23 Do I have
00:46:28 What about you,
00:46:30 I acted alone, sir.
00:46:33 The rest of the squad
00:46:39 That's a pretty bold move
00:46:44 What do you think
00:46:47 I don't know, sir.
00:46:51 You don't know.
00:46:53 I guess you should
00:46:57 What, and send you
00:47:00 Dotson !
00:47:02 - Sir, yes, sir !
00:47:07 Stone. You are now
00:47:12 If these men win
00:47:16 it'll be because you
00:47:20 If they lose,
00:47:22 it'll be
00:47:28 - I don't accept that responsibility.
00:47:37 If I'm the new squad leader,
00:47:42 What'd you say to me, turd ?
00:47:44 Why don't you go back to hell
00:47:50 Boy, I am two seconds
00:47:53 Like white on rice and a glass of milk
00:47:57 I will put my foot
00:48:00 the water on my knee
00:48:03 Try it.
00:48:11 - You want me gone, boy ?
00:48:15 I said, "Do you want
00:48:18 Yes, sir !
00:48:21 Then you meet me outside
00:48:26 You ladies want me gone,
00:48:54 Where is the first place trophy
00:48:59 Wellington Academy, sir !
00:49:02 I want that trophy.
00:49:05 If you turds can bring me
00:49:09 I will resign my command.
00:49:12 This is a black op, gentlemen.
00:49:15 If you are discovered,
00:49:20 and you will pay the price.
00:49:24 That is my deal.
00:49:27 Do you accept it ?
00:49:34 Sir... yes, sir.
00:49:37 Then bring me my trophy.
00:49:58 This is it, our big chance
00:50:02 We got two miles to get
00:50:05 Hustle, move it !
00:50:08 Go, go, go ! This is
00:50:11 What, you think I'm gonna come
00:50:15 Anyway, I called my dad.
00:50:18 Bye. Have a good time.
00:50:24 - Whoa. Where you goin' ?
00:50:26 You can't come.
00:50:28 Why don't you stay back here
00:50:54 What's the matter with you,
00:50:56 They won't let me go on no black op.
00:51:00 No one ever lets you do
00:51:04 Aw, phooey !
00:51:06 What about all those stories about
00:51:10 Like Little Red Riding Hood ?
00:51:14 Spike Lee ?
00:51:18 You ever hear the story about
00:51:25 Let me tell you that story.
00:51:32 Once upon a time,
00:51:34 deep, deep in the jungle,
00:51:37 there was a little engine
00:51:39 He was chuggin' his way
00:51:43 Chugga, chugga, chugga.
00:51:47 This little engine's
00:51:49 was to take some AK-47s
00:51:54 over the mountain
00:51:58 Needless to say,
00:52:00 there was plenty opposition.
00:52:03 You think that stopped
00:52:06 No, siree, Bob.
00:52:09 Chugga, chugga, chugga.
00:52:13 Toot, toot !
00:52:15 Not even when they climbed
00:52:20 and blood and snot was
00:52:23 You think that stopped
00:52:27 Damn skippy.
00:52:31 Chugga, chugga, chugga.
00:52:38 It wasn't until...
00:52:40 Charlie rigged a bridge
00:52:44 just as the little engine was makin'
00:52:49 Boom !
00:52:52 And blood and guts and spit
00:52:56 And Bubba come
00:52:59 both legs missin'.
00:53:02 Lula May's baby boy !
00:53:05 He look up at me.
00:53:09 I can't feel my legs."
00:53:13 I said, "Bubba,
00:53:16 And I looked down,
00:53:18 and them little bloody nubs
00:53:23 And I said, "Bubba, it's
00:53:27 'Less you can flip upside down
00:53:31 All of a sudden,
00:53:36 It was just me and my sidearm.
00:53:39 And I had
00:53:42 but to blast my way out.
00:53:49 "Die, pig ! Die ! You'll never take
00:53:54 Bam ! "I saw what you did
00:53:58 - Major ! Major ! Major !
00:54:03 Hello, Miss Walburn.
00:54:06 You just missed
00:54:10 No. I didn't, actually.
00:54:14 In fact, I'd love to talk to you
00:54:19 Perhaps over dinner ?
00:54:24 Okay.
00:54:27 Okay. I'll go get ready.
00:54:29 - Me too.
00:54:32 - Okay.
00:54:35 All right, good-bye.
00:54:40 To be continued.
00:54:43 - what Bubba used as a penis.
00:55:42 Well, ain't you gonna eat ?
00:55:46 I think I'll wait a moment.
00:55:49 Them some mighty fine vittles.
00:55:53 Shouldn't let 'em
00:55:57 You know, I think you're really
00:56:00 with the way you're
00:56:03 That was almost
00:56:06 you tried to do
00:56:09 May I make a suggestion ?
00:56:13 Proceed.
00:56:17 Well, your story,
00:56:21 was a bit rough.
00:56:25 You mean,
00:56:27 Yes, and the eye-gouging part.
00:56:32 You need to loosen up.
00:56:35 Not everything
00:56:40 What do you
00:56:49 I like to hang upside down
00:56:51 take my gun apart
00:56:54 before my nose
00:56:59 Oh, that's great !
00:57:02 But is there anything that you like
00:57:06 - Like what ?
00:57:09 Negative.
00:57:13 Do you like the movies ?
00:57:16 Negative.
00:57:25 I don't suppose you dance.
00:57:30 I've been known
00:57:34 in my day.
00:57:44 There's only one place
00:57:46 To see freaky girls
00:57:48 Doin' tricks
00:57:51 Ain't you gonna dance ?
00:57:53 Benson.
00:57:54 Not like others
00:57:56 Just do any effect to turn us on
00:58:01 Benson.
00:58:03 Nobody does the robot anymore.
00:58:05 Then I guess I gotta dig
00:58:09 - I get hard after seein' you
00:58:11 How hard
00:58:13 When you make
00:58:15 Pop that coochie
00:58:18 Pop that coochie
00:58:22 Pop that coochie
00:58:24 Pop, Pop that coochie, baby
00:58:27 Pop, pop
00:58:30 Freaky girls
00:58:32 Roamin' to the music
00:58:34 Bend over backwards, make me shout
00:58:37 - Moving that body
00:58:39 Bringin' to the man
00:58:41 Doin' what they did
00:58:43 Just work that body
00:58:45 Shake it, don't break it
00:58:48 Bend over
00:58:50 Show me those
00:58:52 Play that butt
00:58:54 Then blow me
00:58:56 Girl, you know
00:59:20 Williams, you take these guys and fan
00:59:24 Gotcha.
00:59:26 Wuligar. You take these two
00:59:29 - Got it ?
01:00:40 Don't move !
01:01:00 Madison is a loser.
01:01:12 Man, get in there.
01:01:27 All right ? And then
01:01:31 Boom ! Heh-heh-heh.
01:01:34 You know, that was the first time I ever
01:01:39 causin' instant death
01:01:44 But enough about me, woman.
01:01:48 I'm surprised you ain't dropped
01:01:52 - Ain't you never been married ?
01:01:55 Yeah, I was.
01:01:57 What happened ?
01:02:00 No.
01:02:04 I wanted children.
01:02:08 Any man that'd leave you
01:02:12 and have his brains
01:02:15 Well, thank you, Benson.
01:02:21 How about you ?
01:02:26 Negative. I figured if the Marines
01:02:29 they'd have issued me one.
01:02:36 Well,
01:02:38 I had a really
01:02:41 Heck, bein' with you is
01:02:49 - I got somethin' for you.
01:02:52 It's a bullet.
01:02:56 It's somethin' special.
01:03:00 It's from my heart.
01:03:04 Really ? Well,
01:03:07 From my heart.
01:03:10 I took it out myself
01:03:13 And I want you
01:03:17 Thank you, Benson.
01:03:37 Good night.
01:03:42 Good night, princess.
01:04:00 Whee-e-e-e, doggie !
01:04:25 What the hell
01:04:29 It was a trap.
01:04:31 You set us up.
01:04:33 I mighta made a little
01:04:38 You didn't think they was
01:04:41 We got the crap kicked out of us
01:04:45 Tonight wasn't
01:04:49 It was about
01:04:53 Did you ?
01:04:55 Did you even
01:04:58 Oh, I saw it.
01:05:00 And when you saw it,
01:05:04 Yeah, to get rid of you.
01:05:07 That's not
01:05:09 Did you want it ?
01:05:11 I wanted it.
01:05:14 - To own it ?
01:05:16 - Deserve it ?
01:05:19 - To win it ?
01:05:20 Then let's win it,
01:05:24 If you really want it,
01:05:32 Welcome, parents, to Madison School.
01:05:35 For your convenience,
01:05:37 we will be announcing activities
01:05:41 if they happen.
01:05:53 Hey, Heathcoat,
01:05:56 Nah, of course not.
01:05:58 - How 'bout you, Williams ?
01:06:01 My parents said they'd
01:06:07 What the hell
01:06:12 Me ? Nothing.
01:06:17 Look at you, though.
01:06:19 Regular little soldier man.
01:06:21 You a hard-ass now ?
01:06:25 What are you
01:06:27 It's Parents Day,
01:06:32 You're drunk.
01:06:34 Don't you walk away
01:06:38 Oh.
01:06:41 Gimme a little salute.
01:06:43 I'm not gonna salute you.
01:06:45 You salute your superiors.
01:06:48 - Or don't they teach that around here ?
01:06:51 They kicked you out.
01:06:54 Don't you sass me
01:07:00 You're mine now.
01:07:03 And you will respect me.
01:07:07 Now you salute me.
01:07:09 No !
01:07:11 You hit that boy again,
01:07:16 - This is between me and my son.
01:07:18 Whoever he is,
01:07:38 Now I'm gonna ask you nicely,
01:07:46 You go on now.
01:08:10 Go on back
01:08:18 Major Payne, sir.
01:08:20 Yeah.
01:08:23 I wanna
01:08:25 Come again ?
01:08:28 I wanna
01:08:31 - What, you want to steal it ?
01:08:35 - You want to win it ?
01:08:40 The rest of you men
01:08:46 Meet me on the parade ground,
01:08:50 We got work to do.
01:08:52 Squad, atten-hut !
01:09:10 What you want
01:09:12 Baby, I got
01:09:15 What you need
01:09:19 All I'm askin'
01:09:21 - Is for a little respect when you come home
01:09:24 - Hey, baby
01:09:26 - When ya get home
01:09:28 - Mister
01:09:31 I ain't gonna do you wrong
01:09:36 I ain't gonna do you wrong
01:09:40 All I'm askin' is for a
01:09:44 - Just a little bit just a little bit
01:09:48 And all I'm askin'
01:09:52 Is to give me my propers
01:09:56 - Just a, just a, just a
01:10:00 - Just a little bit
01:10:04 Two. Three.
01:10:09 Four. Five.
01:10:13 Six. Seven.
01:10:17 Eight.
01:10:20 Ooh, your kisses
01:10:23 Sweeter than honey
01:10:26 - And guess what, so is my money
01:10:30 All I want you to do for me
01:10:34 - Re-re-re-re, re-re-re-respect
01:10:36 Whip it to me
01:10:38 - Just a little bit
01:10:40 Just a little bit
01:10:42 R-E-S-P-E-C-T
01:10:46 R-E-S-P-E-C-T
01:10:50 - Sock it to me, sock it to me
01:10:54 - Whoa, yeah, a little respect
01:10:58 - You're runnin' out of food
01:11:00 - And I ain't lyin'
01:11:02 - Re-re-re-re, re-re-re-respect
01:11:06 - Well, you might want
01:11:08 - To keep on tryin'
01:11:10 - You're runnin' out of food
01:11:14 - Respect when you come home
01:11:18 - I get tired, keep on tryin'
01:11:22 - Or you might walk
01:11:35 Squad ! Atten-hut !
01:11:39 Present arms !
01:11:42 Order arms !
01:11:46 Left face !
01:11:52 Right face !
01:11:55 Rank, rest !
01:12:02 You're still
01:12:06 You're just not a soggy one.
01:12:09 From now on,
01:12:12 You've graduated...
01:12:16 You're a family,
01:12:19 Let's win them games.
01:12:34 Squad !
01:12:36 Atten-hut !
01:12:39 General on deck.
01:12:49 Major, I have news so good
01:12:53 America needs you.
01:12:55 There's a situation in Bosnia
01:13:00 As of this moment, you are reinstated
01:13:04 at the rank
01:13:06 - Thank you, sir !
01:13:10 Your unit will be
01:13:12 You will arrive tomorrow
01:13:15 Here are your tickets.
01:13:19 Uh, General, uh, tomorrow are
01:13:23 Games ? Payne,
01:13:29 You wanted in.
01:13:32 You don't take this,
01:13:41 Sir, the major
01:13:44 Good man. I'll see you
01:14:10 Hey, hey, hey, Major.
01:14:13 Back to killin'.
01:14:17 I didn't think so.
01:14:20 Go lead your men
01:14:23 Great. What happened
01:14:27 and all that other bullshit
01:14:29 I never said families
01:14:33 Don't you watch Oprah ?
01:14:56 So it's true.
01:15:05 You know, when they're through with you,
01:15:11 I asked to leave.
01:15:15 Them boys need you !
01:15:19 All that hard work they did,
01:15:22 - They did it for themselves.
01:15:25 Look, woman.
01:15:27 I toured
01:15:30 I didn't do that to come back
01:15:35 What'd you really think
01:15:38 Put up a white picket fence ?
01:15:43 That's not me.
01:15:49 You're a no good
01:15:54 You're a liar
01:15:57 And I don't know why
01:16:01 I let you do these things
01:16:06 My friends keep tellin' me
01:16:09 That you ain't no good
01:16:12 Oh-h-h-h
01:16:17 That I'd leave you
01:16:22 I guess I'm uptight
01:16:25 And I'm stuck like glue
01:16:29 'Cause I ain't never
01:16:31 I ain't never
01:16:33 I ain't never no, no
01:16:37 Loved a man the way--
01:16:39 I can't believe
01:16:43 Alex, where
01:16:46 To the games.
01:16:49 You guys better start getting ready.
01:16:53 We don't have to go to the games.
01:16:57 We don't have a chance
01:16:59 Listen, Payne or no Payne,
01:17:03 I'm gonna go out there
01:17:06 We busted our asses off
01:17:10 Now I didn't go through all that
01:17:15 So how 'bout it, guys ?
01:17:19 - Uh, I'm--
01:17:22 - I can't hear you !
01:17:26 Just a little bit
01:17:29 Sir, yes, sir !
01:17:31 One more time,
01:17:33 Sir, yes, sir-r-r-r !
01:17:51 Taggert, present arms.
01:17:54 Stapleton, present arms !
01:17:59 Wellington, present arms !
01:18:07 Madison, present arms !
01:18:10 Cadets, order arms !
01:18:17 Welcome, men,
01:18:20 to the 58th annual Junior R.O.T.C.
01:18:25 This morning,
01:18:28 But by the end of the day today, we will
01:18:33 The trophy of a champion.
01:18:36 Let the games begin !
01:18:48 Good shot, Williams.
01:18:50 All right, Fox.
01:18:52 Yes !
01:18:55 Come on, guys ! Maggots !
01:18:58 Pull !
01:19:12 Go, Tiger ! Go !
01:19:44 Whoa ! Catch it !
01:19:47 Oh, I gotcha now !
01:20:09 Benson.
01:21:50 - On your mark. Get set.
01:22:02 One, sir. Two, sir.
01:22:05 Five, sir. Six, sir.
01:22:07 Four, sir. Five, sir.
01:22:28 Listen, Heathcoat.
01:22:32 Come on !
01:22:34 Come on !
01:22:37 See you later, loser.
01:22:46 - Is that him ?
01:23:14 - He just tripped him !
01:23:22 Second place:
01:23:25 Third place: Stapleton.
01:23:28 Fourth place: Taggert.
01:23:51 All right, knock it off!
01:23:56 Get off of him !
01:24:00 Hold it right there !
01:24:03 Knock it off ! Knock it off !
01:24:06 I want
01:24:12 This is unsatisfactory !
01:24:14 I demand that
01:24:16 be disqualified
01:24:19 Lieutenant, I can only disqualify
01:24:23 That's not enough !
01:24:26 These animals are so pathetic, their own
01:24:31 Ain't no need
01:24:49 Major Payne.
01:24:52 I was told you were
01:24:54 Well, what could be more important than
01:24:59 I suggest
01:25:02 Is that okay with you,
01:25:07 Cadets. I'm pleased to announce
01:25:11 who will compete for first and second
01:25:15 Wellington Academy
01:25:22 Arms, hut !
01:25:25 Ladies and gentlemen, Wellington Academy.
01:25:28 - Forward march !
01:25:31 Hup. Hup.
01:25:35 All right, gentlemen. Let's look
01:25:41 Hello,
01:25:43 While you were on vacation, we've been
01:25:47 I don't see no problem.
01:25:51 Yeah,
01:25:54 So why'd ya come back ?
01:25:59 Maybe I didn't come back
01:26:01 Why'd you
01:26:04 Maybe I told myself that I want
01:26:08 and ain't gonna leave
01:26:10 So that's it ?
01:26:13 It's all about the trophy ?
01:26:19 Maybe... I like ya.
01:26:24 Just like ?
01:26:29 Maybe... I like you a lot.
01:26:33 That's it ?
01:26:37 Don't push the "maybe," baby.
01:26:41 Now let's win this thing !
01:26:43 We have nobody
01:26:46 - 'Course we do.
01:26:49 - Tiger.
01:26:51 - What ?
01:26:53 That boy know the drill
01:26:56 I can't do it.
01:26:59 Ladies and gentlemen,
01:27:05 You need me to tell you the story about
01:27:12 Then you get out there
01:27:17 Toot. Toot.
01:27:22 Toot. Toot.
01:27:27 Ladies and gentlemen, Madison Preparatory School.
01:27:38 Drill team leader:
01:27:54 Bust a move !
01:27:56 Now here we are together
01:27:58 Ready to do whatever
01:28:01 We started out as boys
01:28:06 So stand back and step clear
01:28:10 If you don't believe
01:28:15 Oh, yeah, here we come
01:28:19 Hip-hop, hip-hop
01:28:22 Hip-hop, hip-hop
01:28:24 We can get down
01:28:26 We can get down
01:28:28 - Hit me with a one, two
01:28:30 - Hit me with a three, four
01:28:33 Hit me with a one, two,
01:28:36 - One, two... three, four
01:28:40 - Ahhhhh-hoo
01:28:46 Forward march
01:28:48 Huh, huh, huh, huh
01:28:56 Order arms
01:29:04 Philly stomp
01:29:14 Ho
01:29:45 Hit it
01:29:47 Oh, yeah
01:29:50 One, two, three
01:29:53 Get down and get funky and you
01:29:57 Go, Tiger
01:30:00 Get down, do dat, do dat
01:30:05 - Get down, do dat, do dat
01:30:10 - Get down, do dat, do dat
01:30:14 Salute
01:30:16 Madison Preparatory School.
01:31:10 Company ! Atten-hut !
01:31:17 Sir, squad
01:31:22 Post.
01:31:30 My name...
01:31:32 is Major Benson
01:31:37 I'd like to be the first
01:31:40 to the Madison School.
01:31:42 What we've tried
01:31:45 is a family environment.
01:31:48 One of trust
01:31:52 I'd like for you to think of me
01:31:58 - but as your friend.
01:32:02 And what the hell is that ?
01:32:05 He's mine.
01:32:15 That-a-boy. Sit.
01:32:17 Good boy.
01:32:24 You know, there ain't no pets allowed
01:32:30 Yeah, well,
01:32:32 He's my blind seein'-eye dog.
01:32:37 What in the world would anybody want
01:32:40 The dog ain't blind.
01:32:42 I'm the one that's blind,
01:32:46 Oh, I see you
01:32:49 got a little attitudinal problem
01:32:53 I'm gonna fix that up
01:32:55 Hey, Corporal !
01:33:00 Go tell Mama
01:33:19 Heh-heh-heh.
01:33:22 Ah, heh-heh-heh.
01:33:25 Oh, heh-heh.
01:33:27 Ah, heh-heh-heh.
01:33:30 Ho-ho-ho. Heh-heh-heh.
01:33:32 Ho-ho-ho. Heh-heh-heh.
01:33:35 Oh, heh-heh-heh.
01:33:38 Ah, heh-heh-heh.