Mallrats

en
00:00:38 One time, my cousin Walter got
00:00:43 He bought it at our local mall,
00:00:47 It was embarrassing for my relatives
00:00:51 Different cat, same results,
00:00:55 I run into him a week later
00:00:58 I says to him 'Jesus, Walt,
00:01:01 ''You're gonna get this cat stuck in your
00:01:05 He said to me ''Brodie, how the hell else
00:01:10 My cousin was a weird guy.
00:03:52 Brandi Svenning, come on down.
00:03:56 Let's go. Where's your luggage?
00:04:00 - TS, did you see Julie Dwyer last night?
00:04:04 She was talking about being
00:04:07 - 0h, my God. He's not here, is he?
00:04:10 TS, did you tell her that every time
00:04:16 Uh...
00:04:17 Well, yeah. I told her that
00:04:21 ..can make you look a lot
00:04:24 What'd she do? Call up and cancel?
00:04:27 No. Not exactly.
00:04:30 TS, you know that Julie
00:04:33 She had the fattest ass.
00:04:35 And when you said that to her,
00:04:38 ..and just started doing laps because
00:04:43 And, well, in the middle
00:04:48 ..this embolism popped in
00:04:52 Right in mid-backstroke.
00:04:54 She's fucking dead?
00:04:57 Then her sister told her parents
00:05:00 ..and it got back to my father and...
00:05:03 Shit, TS, he's really pissed at you.
00:05:06 I mean, it's awful
00:05:09 ..now he doesn't even have
00:05:12 - Can't you calm him down?
00:05:15 - Thank God. How?
00:05:17 Good. What?!
00:05:19 Wait a minute. No, no.
00:05:23 - TS, I can't go. I've gotta stay here.
00:05:25 I've got something planned for Florida.
00:05:29 I'm doing this to get you
00:05:32 ..help him out of a bind which, you know,
00:05:37 I bet he's happy that
00:05:40 Are you kidding?
00:05:55 I can't believe you.
00:05:58 You know, I bet he sees this tragedy...
00:06:01 ..as an opportunity to keep
00:06:03 Would you calm down?
00:06:09 Sometimes I forget you're such
00:06:13 0h.
00:06:15 Well, you know what I think's sick?
00:06:17 This relationship.
00:06:20 We weren't gonna do this make-up,
00:06:23 You can just forget about making up.
00:06:25 You are exactly like my father.
00:06:28 It's always about what you need,
00:06:31 ''Screw everybody else.
00:06:33 You're as thoughtless and self-absorbed
00:06:38 ..I think you should date each other.
00:06:41 Brandi! Brandi, wait!
00:06:55 Sweet fucking Christ,
00:06:58 - God!
00:07:06 - What time is it?
00:07:08 Man, go back to sleep!
00:07:32 - What the hell are you doing?
00:07:35 - You promised me breakfast.
00:07:38 Look at the score. I'm only in the middle
00:07:43 Breakfasts come and go, Rene.
00:07:46 Now, Hartford, the Whale,...
00:07:48 ..they only beat Vancouver once,
00:07:53 - You hit the bathroom already?
00:07:58 - Who's worried?
00:08:00 I've never met anyone who lives in
00:08:04 - I do not.
00:08:07 ..after everyone's asleep
00:08:10 You want I should tell
00:08:12 That you play video games
00:08:16 Go ahead. It beats
00:08:18 - What can I say if she doesn't like you?
00:08:22 Cos you're always
00:08:25 What the hell do you do in there?
00:08:27 - You really wanna know?
00:08:30 I'm playing the role of the concerned guy.
00:08:32 I cry.
00:08:35 - You cry.
00:08:38 Any particular reason?
00:08:39 - Hey!
00:08:42 I think about people that
00:08:47 The doctors who make
00:08:52 The engineer that designs skyscrapers.
00:08:56 - The guy that maps out a flight path.
00:09:01 I think about how those people
00:09:04 ..making a difference, leading big lives,...
00:09:07 ..and how they refuse to be intimidated by
00:09:12 And how they only concern
00:09:15 ..that applies to their noble causes.
00:09:17 Jesus, I'd hate to tell you what
00:09:22 I think about all that and I cry,...
00:09:26 ..because I have nothing
00:09:38 You're dumping me?!
00:09:42 Is this because I didn't
00:09:57 You're a fickle broad.
00:10:00 0hh.
00:10:03 Holy shit. If it isn't mon frère.
00:10:09 Usual vault rules apply.
00:10:13 - You're such an anal-retentive bastard.
00:10:17 ..but, oh, no, you wanted
00:10:21 - What's that?
00:10:26 - My God. Rene dumped you.
00:10:29 ..like a woman scorned for a Sega.
00:10:31 Wow, look at this
00:10:33 You have no direction,
00:10:37 It also says I have no dick.
00:10:41 ..proving again what women really look for.
00:10:43 - Wow, she calls you ''callow'' in here.
00:10:47 - It means frightened and weak-willed.
00:10:51 Shit. That was the only part
00:10:56 Ah, well, you're lucky.
00:10:58 Unlike you, I didn't even get
00:11:02 - What are you telling me here?
00:11:06 Holy shit! Brandi dumped you.
00:11:09 - Aren't you supposed to go to Florida?
00:11:13 0h, it gets worse.
00:11:17 - Where?
00:11:20 You're kidding! What part?
00:11:22 - When Jaws pops out of the water.
00:11:25 That's the most romantic thing
00:11:28 Too bad I'm not tryin' to marry you.
00:11:31 Let me ask you something.
00:11:36 - Why do you ask?
00:11:40 Then last week, I let one slip.
00:11:45 You think that that's why Rene dumped
00:11:49 - She was goin' down on me.
00:11:51 What? What can I say?
00:11:54 When I'm relaxed, I squirt.
00:11:57 If all she did was dump you,
00:12:00 I can't believe this shit. Why are we here
00:12:05 - We just nailed it in your case.
00:12:08 ..that can help ease our double loss.
00:12:10 - Ritual suicide.
00:12:14 - I prefer ritual suicide.
00:12:16 They got these new cookies
00:12:40 I love the smell of commerce
00:12:44 - You're really makin' that last.
00:12:50 - You wanna say something?
00:12:52 But I can't express myself monosyllabically
00:12:57 - Asshole.
00:12:59 - What was that all about?
00:13:03 ..this wannabe shop on the second floor.
00:13:05 He's the manager. The guy's always
00:13:09 - I thought everybody loved you here.
00:13:12 - Where do you wanna go first?
00:13:14 Look, Brandi is the past, my friend.
00:13:18 You face forward, or you face
00:13:26 - You should heed your own advice.
00:13:31 Looks like a stage is being erected.
00:13:34 - What is this monstrosity?
00:13:37 Impossible! That's at
00:13:40 It's been up since two days
00:13:43 Ask one of the workers.
00:13:45 No, no, no. There's a soul
00:13:57 Willam.
00:14:00 - Willam!
00:14:03 Brodie, man. What's goin' on?
00:14:06 - No, man. Just hangin' with TS.
00:14:09 - Willam, what are you doing?
00:14:13 If you stare at these things long enough,
00:14:18 - 0h, yeah, look! It's a sailboat.
00:14:22 - What?
00:14:25 ..and I can't see a goddamn thing!
00:14:27 - You gotta relax your eyes.
00:14:31 Today's my day.
00:14:33 ..and I'm not gonna leave until I see
00:14:37 So, Willam.
00:14:39 Do you know what this
00:14:42 It's not a stage! I'm gonna see it
00:14:46 No, man. This stage over here.
00:14:48 0h, that. They're having
00:14:51 I think it's gonna be on TV.
00:14:55 - That's Brandi's father's game show!
00:14:57 This cheesy Dating Game
00:15:00 Trying to capture
00:15:03 Man, why can't they bring back or
00:15:08 There's a concept I like,
00:15:11 Would you guys shut up?
00:15:14 - Sorry, Willam.
00:15:20 - Good luck with that thing, Willam.
00:15:29 - Wow, a sailboat.
00:15:33 Could this week get any worse? Now she's
00:15:38 Not a mall. The mall. Show some respect.
00:15:41 It doesn't have to go down
00:15:44 There's a unique way of getting back in
00:15:48 I can get someone to do it for us. We'll be
00:15:53 - Who is this imaginary hatchet man?
00:16:17 Knock it off!
00:16:19 Kitty, kitty, kitty!
00:16:21 - Hey, Jay!
00:16:25 And look at this shit!
00:16:28 - I can't believe how fast word travels.
00:16:32 Shithead watched
00:16:34 He's been trying to do
00:16:36 Thinks he can levitate shit
00:16:40 - ''The Force is strong with this one.''
00:16:42 I was just saying we gotta find
00:16:45 If anyone can help us out, it's the two
00:16:49 Everyone's lookin' for us today.
00:16:52 She wants to talk to
00:16:54 - Why him?
00:16:57 He won the school science fair by turning
00:17:02 Motherfucker's like MacGyver.
00:17:04 - Knock it off!
00:17:08 Leave me out of this.
00:17:09 We need you to go on a little sabotage
00:17:20 You know about this game show
00:17:23 We need you to somehow
00:17:26 - Is that it? We were doing that anyway.
00:17:28 What else are we gonna do? Silent Bob
00:17:33 ..and found a weakness,
00:17:35 He figures you pull this crossbeam out,
00:17:40 We were thinkin' about somethin' simple,
00:17:44 - 0nly problem is LaFours.
00:17:47 You don't know who LaFours is?
00:17:50 He's the most feared security guard in
00:17:55 - I hear he's even got two kills.
00:17:57 I never thought I'd see two such highly
00:18:02 ..douse their drawers at the sight
00:18:05 Shit, bitch. We're gonna
00:18:08 We're gonna outwit LaFours X-Men-style.
00:18:10 - Should I call you Logan, Weapon X?
00:18:15 He's imitating Wolverine's berserker
00:18:19 - I never would have guessed.
00:18:24 Bye, baby kitties.
00:18:30 That's better. We're on the job.
00:18:33 Thanks.
00:18:36 I'm shocked
00:18:39 Huh! I would if I thought
00:18:42 0h, ye of little faith.
00:18:49 What's he doing?
00:18:51 If you stare at this poster,
00:18:54 Can we do it? Please? Please?
00:18:56 All right, go ahead.
00:19:00 Wow, it's a schooner!
00:19:03 You dumb bastard!
00:19:07 A schooner is a sailboat, stupid-head.
00:19:12 You know what?!
00:19:15 0ver there, that's just a guy in a suit!
00:19:21 - But they're engaged.
00:19:24 - Why not? It's bound to come up.
00:19:28 You think her Fallopian tubes
00:19:31 I guarantee he blows a load
00:19:35 Is her womb strong enough
00:19:37 - Sure. Why not?
00:19:40 His Kryptonian biological make-up
00:19:44 If Lois gets a tan, the kid
00:19:47 0nly Wonder Woman has a strong
00:19:50 He could only bang regular chicks with a
00:19:55 I've gone from Floridian sex with Brandi to
00:20:00 - Cookie stand is not in the food court.
00:20:03 The food court is downstairs. We're
00:20:08 This is an eatery.
00:20:11 Bullshit. Eateries in the designated square
00:20:15 Anything outside of
00:20:18 ..is considered an autonomous unit
00:20:21 If you're gonna wax intellectual
00:20:24 Holy shit.
00:20:27 - Wait here.
00:20:30 Cherchez la femme.
00:20:38 - That would look terrible on you.
00:20:42 You've had time to think
00:20:45 ..and I want you to know
00:20:47 I'm sure you were just
00:20:50 What kills me about you
00:20:53 ..on the same plane of existence
00:20:57 0K. You wanna continue with
00:21:00 Fine, I'll play along, but if we're divorced,
00:21:05 - What the hell are you talking about?
00:21:09 ..and the remote control to my TV.
00:21:11 Now, I know this stuff has
00:21:14 Sentimental attachment?
00:21:17 ..it's because you brought it
00:21:21 0K, then. Let's talk about
00:21:25 - For what?
00:21:27 ..I'll take the even days and weekends.
00:21:31 Brodie, Brodie, Brodie!
00:21:35 I have always taken you
00:21:37 When you asked me to do a striptease to
00:21:43 At that prom night, you asked me
00:21:46 ..in case your mother burst in, and I did it.
00:21:48 And at my grandmother's funeral,
00:21:52 ..you could see her nipples through
00:21:56 If you think I'm gonna suffer any more
00:21:59 ..you're in for some
00:22:07 What?
00:22:08 Phase one. First, you take a run
00:22:12 I'd do it, but I pulled my back out
00:22:15 0K, clock him on his headpiece
00:22:18 Then phase two kicks in. I attack
00:22:22 ..knock out the fuckin' pin, and
00:22:26 Hence - no game show.
00:23:15 Fuck!
00:23:27 Do you know that kid?
00:23:29 I hope his pants get caught
00:23:31 - What is with you today?
00:23:34 ..but his mother should suffer that ordeal
00:23:38 - It's a harsh lesson, don't you think?
00:23:42 ..that I don't read about an escalator
00:23:46 ..that could have been avoided had
00:23:51 ..conditioned him
00:23:57 Wow, look who it is.
00:24:03 - Jerk.
00:24:06 What's a pretty girl like you doin' sittin'
00:24:11 Updating my calendar
00:24:14 And I suppose you're here
00:24:17 0n the contrary. I'm here for comics.
00:24:20 TS Quint, Tricia Jones.
00:24:23 - Nobody calls me that.
00:24:26 ..but somehow she's a senior.
00:24:29 - How'd you manage that?
00:24:31 Don't listen to him. I studied my ass off.
00:24:33 Yeah, right(!) So what d'you say?
00:24:36 - Jesus, Brodie!
00:24:38 Trisha's compiling data for her book
00:24:43 I believe it's called Bore-gasm.:
00:24:49 Tell him about the advance you got.
00:24:51 Pendant Publishing gave me 20,000 based
00:24:55 - You're kidding!
00:24:59 So Tricia sleeps with a bunch of guys
00:25:03 - ..she videotapes all of them.
00:25:05 I get everybody's consent before we do it.
00:25:07 Most guys get off on it.
00:25:11 - What are you writing here?
00:25:15 - She means sex.
00:25:18 - What kind of codes?
00:25:21 The smiley face is when
00:25:23 The smiley face with lashes
00:25:26 The circle is for when we have sex.
00:25:28 The circle with the X is
00:25:31 The house is when we do it inside
00:25:34 That kid is back on the escalator again!
00:25:37 How old was last night's subject?
00:25:39 25. It was the guy who runs
00:25:42 Holy shit! You slept with that asshole?
00:25:45 I needed a 25-year-old. And he has quite
00:25:49 - Eugh! He mentioned me during sex?
00:25:52 He says he wants to kick your ass.
00:25:55 - Tell me you taped him saying that.
00:25:59 You shoulda heard what he wanted to do.
00:26:01 I'm having a hard time with this.
00:26:04 - 0f course.
00:26:06 That's criminal. That kid...
00:26:11 - Leave it alone!
00:26:13 So, I heard you were going to propose
00:26:17 When are men going to learn that women
00:26:23 Be fair, all right.
00:26:27 We gotta go.
00:26:30 Remember my offer. I'm young,
00:26:33 Somehow I doubt it, Sega Boy.
00:26:36 Good luck with the comic-book store.
00:26:39 Sega Boy! God, Rene's got a big mouth.
00:26:42 What does ''Good luck with
00:26:44 How does junior Masters and
00:26:47 It's not like she's in an exclusive club.
00:26:50 - What are you talking about?
00:26:53 - What's he saying?
00:26:56 ..so you couldn't take her to Florida.
00:26:58 Now what the hell is this shit?
00:27:01 What do you gotta do to get comics here?
00:27:03 0ne side, Red!
00:27:05 - Hey, what the hell's goin' on here?
00:27:09 ''Warned''? What the fuck do you mean?
00:27:11 - Tell him, Steve Dave.
00:27:14 Would you two testosterone-seething,
00:27:18 - I got some questions.
00:27:20 - You gotta ask me nicely.
00:27:24 - Get the hell off him!
00:27:28 ..he can't start some shit?
00:27:31 Somebody get a medic!
00:27:34 - Come back here and arrest this goon.
00:27:38 I'm not goin' anywhere until
00:27:43 - Excuse me.
00:27:45 - Why is there a line?
00:27:50 Stan Lee?
00:27:52 0K, lunchbox. Let's try this again.
00:27:55 We tie you to the roof,
00:27:57 ..passing over the arch-nemesis, LaFours.
00:28:00 You swing up to the stage
00:28:02 When that's gone, the stage is trashed
00:28:06 Now get your fat ass up there
00:28:42 Fly, fat-ass! Fly!
00:29:00 What the fuck...?
00:29:03 You fucker!
00:29:05 Security? This is Popular Girl.
00:29:07 We just had something
00:29:11 Stan Lee! How does the creator of some
00:29:15 ..coming to my mall get by me?
00:29:17 I must be slipping in my old age.
00:29:21 There's a million questions
00:29:23 Her father! I knew this game show was
00:29:27 Why can't he just leave us alone?
00:29:30 What kind of man are you, anyway?
00:29:32 I'm talkin' comics and you bring up
00:29:36 And why do you wanna get married now,
00:29:40 I was just gonna propose.
00:29:43 Waste of time.
00:29:46 ..''Why buy the cow
00:29:49 - She did?
00:29:51 ..she became a lesbian on her 60th
00:29:55 Where the hell are these two goin'
00:30:11 - Has he gone?
00:30:16 Damn, that bastard's faster
00:30:19 - What's with all the running?
00:30:22 The human brown eye here
00:30:25 We gotta pass on the stage-trashing,
00:30:29 - Sorry, bro.
00:30:32 - Isn't that Rene?
00:30:35 - I better go talk to her.
00:30:40 - Wait a minute. Isn't that...
00:30:44 - My God. You think they're...
00:30:50 Can you run interference with the lug?
00:31:07 You work at the Fashionable Male,
00:31:10 Yeah. So?
00:31:13 Uh, that's a great store you got there.
00:31:16 Thanks. Listen, I'm trying to spend
00:31:20 So why don't you beat it?
00:31:26 0h, that's your girlfriend? Right there?
00:31:32 Look, if you don't stop gawkin' at me,
00:31:36 Haven't you heard the phrase
00:31:39 I'll let you in on a little secret.
00:31:47 - Jesus Christ!
00:31:50 None of your business,
00:31:53 Are you insane?
00:31:56 - Is that my jacket?
00:31:58 Not until you tell me what the situation
00:32:02 - How long has this been goin' on?
00:32:05 - He's much more suitable than you.
00:32:09 The guy's pure testosterone.
00:32:12 I'm in need of testosterone
00:32:15 I forgot what real men were like.
00:32:17 I can't believe you have the nerve
00:32:21 Shannon did the picking up. He's
00:32:24 ..and brought me shopping
00:32:27 I took you shopping all the time!
00:32:30 You took me where you went shopping!
00:32:33 ..has the latest Godzilla bootlegs?
00:32:36 Is eating in the same dive pizzeria
00:32:39 Do I give a shit when two labels
00:32:42 ..and selling two editions
00:32:44 I'm a girl, dammit! I wanna do
00:32:48 ..and get romantic phone calls.
00:32:50 - I call you all the time!
00:32:54 When was the last time
00:32:57 This guy does all this in one day?
00:33:00 He already introduced me to his mother.
00:33:02 - Really?
00:33:05 ..unlike my ex-boyfriend who slept until
00:33:10 ..which has an enormous
00:33:12 - Now you attack my libido?
00:33:15 No libido to attack?!
00:33:23 - You sure you saw her get on, right?
00:33:37 - 0w!
00:33:39 It's all right.
00:33:52 There, that was romantic, right?
00:33:55 Passionate, yeah.
00:33:57 No, Brodie, that was too little, too late.
00:34:02 Too little?
00:34:06 The effort, you retard.
00:34:10 But now that you mention it,
00:34:14 ..it's a nice way of saying that it's small.
00:34:18 Hey!
00:34:26 Hey!
00:34:27 - I am gonna kill that son of a bitch.
00:34:31 He wanted to give me something
00:34:35 He's harmless now, 0K?
00:34:38 Fine. I gotta get back
00:34:50 - In the elevator?
00:34:52 She challenged my libido, so I defended
00:34:57 - 0h, it's not like you still wanted her?
00:35:01 - Holy shit. You really love that girl.
00:35:04 I never noticed it before,
00:35:08 - You have this new glow about you.
00:35:10 - You do. You're glowin'.
00:35:14 I'd look the same if I'd banged
00:35:18 You're too proud to admit
00:35:21 I suddenly want something
00:35:24 What is your problem?
00:35:26 0w! 0hh!
00:35:27 - 0h, Gwen, I'm sorry.
00:35:32 0hh!
00:35:33 See? That's what you get
00:35:37 Hey, Gwen. He didn't mean to hit you.
00:35:39 He's got a funny way of showin' it
00:35:42 - Why the hell are you glowing?
00:35:45 - Brandi dumped him.
00:35:48 - I know. I heard.
00:35:51 She told me. I ran into her
00:35:53 - Really? Where?
00:35:58 Do you want me to rub it?
00:36:01 Come on, work with me, people, please!
00:36:03 No, no. I want this more toward the front.
00:36:06 - The podium'll keep the rug down.
00:36:09 Mr Svenning, the...
00:36:12 Give me the podium!
00:36:15 You put the podium down over here.
00:36:20 Like this.
00:36:22 And you stamp
00:36:25 You speak English? Like this.
00:36:30 Mr Svenning! Let me help you up.
00:36:32 Get off! Move!
00:36:36 - All right, where's Brandi?
00:36:39 - Where's Brandi?
00:36:42 You're fired. You get the hell outta here.
00:36:45 Get off my set.
00:36:48 - Where is she?
00:36:51 Now, you stay out of her business,
00:36:55 Come on. Are we working or what? Get the
00:36:59 Excuse me. You go over on the other side.
00:37:02 You put the podium over the bad spot in
00:37:07 You made her dump me and you're gonna
00:37:11 Hey, not that it's any of your concern,
00:37:15 After last night,
00:37:18 It'll give her a chance to find herself
00:37:23 So you admit it.
00:37:25 Admit it? I'm as proud of it
00:37:31 TS... listen to me.
00:37:34 It's over between you two.
00:37:37 The sooner you get that,
00:37:41 Understand me? You don't.
00:37:45 Guard, come here. Get this guy off my set.
00:37:49 If he gives you any shit,
00:37:53 - You can't do this!
00:38:01 - Get me LaFours.
00:38:03 Well, go on!
00:38:06 - How about these?
00:38:08 - That sounded convincing.
00:38:11 TS, she told you, she's doing it
00:38:15 She won't fuck the guy on public-access.
00:38:17 - She might as well.
00:38:20 That's why your relationships fail.
00:38:23 You got bent out of shape the same way
00:38:27 You fucked Rick Derris on a pool table,
00:38:31 It was a costume party, TS.
00:38:34 Besides, who else but you
00:38:37 - I woulda been a sexy chick!
00:38:41 The one where you banged
00:38:44 - Nobody remembers shit like that(!)
00:38:48 I'll never forget it. How often do you
00:38:52 Didn't I look just like Burt Reynolds?
00:38:54 (both) Except for the moustache.
00:38:56 They have a whole room to do that in.
00:38:58 Some pervert wanted
00:39:00 ..so he busted in on me twice
00:39:03 - This saves some of the effort.
00:39:06 How much longer are we gonna be in
00:39:10 So, Brodie. Tell me about
00:39:12 - I threw her away like a parking ticket.
00:39:15 Don't front. I talked to Rene's cousin
00:39:19 They aren't acting broken-up.
00:39:21 - Ask him about the elevator.
00:39:24 It goes up and down.
00:39:27 Rene seems so coarse, anyway.
00:39:30 - Ever slept with somebody?
00:39:33 I mean really slept with somebody. Beside
00:39:38 We, uh... We slept together one time
00:39:42 That was you?
00:39:43 Yes, Brodie.
00:39:46 You know when someone lays with
00:39:50 ..and throw one arm over 'em?
00:39:52 - It's called ''spooning''.
00:39:55 You can lay on it
00:39:58 The only other option
00:40:00 But sometimes my arm pops out
00:40:04 I was always searching
00:40:07 - ..while still laying close to her.
00:40:11 What do you mean ''and''? That's like
00:40:16 I'm all out. I'll meet you at the food court.
00:40:20 I know exactly how he feels. Excuse me.
00:40:24 (sobs)
00:40:26 Fill this with Coke, no ice.
00:40:33 Want a sip of my soda?
00:40:39 Smart-ass ex-boyfriend.
00:40:43 0ne. I don't like you.
00:40:46 I don't like shiftless layabouts.
00:40:51 You don't come to work or shop. You hang
00:40:55 I have no respect for people
00:40:58 Is this what's known as
00:41:03 Rene told me to leave you alone,
00:41:14 You see, Bruce,...
00:41:16 ..I like to pick up girls on the rebound
00:41:20 They're more vulnerable,
00:41:23 ..fairly open to suggestion.
00:41:25 And I use that to fuck them
00:41:29 What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
00:41:31 No. Like, uh... some place girls dread.
00:41:40 - Did we ever get along?
00:41:42 - How come we went out so long?
00:41:44 - Are you gonna stay for the show?
00:41:48 TS Quint, where's your sense of chivalry?
00:41:52 0h, my God. Is that Brodie?
00:41:55 You're kiddin'! Easter Bunny did this?
00:41:57 I said the Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park
00:42:02 - He's fuckin' dead.
00:42:05 - What happened to him?
00:42:08 - I had it coming.
00:42:12 - What really happened?
00:42:16 - Shannon Hamilton?
00:42:18 I dated him after we split. He tried
00:42:22 - Like the back of a Volkswagen?
00:42:25 - Can you get up?
00:42:27 Barely breathing. Was Rene involved?
00:42:29 It was an independent act of aggression.
00:42:33 ..my ex-girlfriend
00:42:35 - Sounds like him.
00:42:38 No. If she's not smart enough to see
00:42:42 I, on the other hand, have had all
00:42:46 - I'm late. I gotta go.
00:42:49 I gotta split. You're gonna be 0K, Brodie?
00:42:52 A couple of pins in the hip, I'll be fine.
00:42:54 That's my boy!
00:42:56 Bye, guys. Be good.
00:42:58 Women. Always leaving you when you've
00:43:02 You look like you're gonna live to me.
00:43:07 Please, don't say ''hit''.
00:43:12 0K, honey. Don't forget to look
00:43:16 - Bye-bye, Easter Bunny.
00:43:21 Hey, guys. Wait in line,
00:43:24 - What the hell is this?
00:43:37 0h, God.
00:43:40 - He's here.
00:43:42 Him and Brodie. Don't sweat,
00:43:44 0h.
00:43:45 He seems really broken-up
00:43:48 Maybe because we're broken up
00:43:52 I remember when I dumped TS. I was all
00:43:56 - A little jealousy residue?
00:43:59 Then I realised it was more than that.
00:44:01 When I saw how he was with you
00:44:05 ..it finally hit me that TS is a great catch.
00:44:08 - Gwen, you were always cheating on him.
00:44:12 - Doesn't mean I wasn't regretful.
00:44:16 ..is a lecture on my love life.
00:44:18 All I'm saying is that the really
00:44:21 In fact, I haven't met one since TS.
00:44:24 And even if I did meet one, I guarantee
00:44:28 - You can have him if you want him.
00:44:33 ..if he weren't so hung up on you.
00:44:37 I gotta get home.
00:44:39 - Have a great show.
00:44:52 Chocolate-covered pretzel?
00:44:54 This is Roddy, Mr Zvenning's assistant.
00:44:57 Mr Svenning would like
00:45:01 Where? These are melting.
00:45:03 Copy that. By the stage.
00:45:07 Tell him I'll be there in a minute.
00:45:10 - What do you think?
00:45:12 Maybe he's ready to talk reasonably.
00:45:15 Reasonably? You should go
00:45:18 - I'm trying to marry his daughter.
00:45:21 ..but you should still stick it to him.
00:45:24 - How do you propose I do that?
00:45:26 - Stink-palm?
00:45:30 You've been walking all day,
00:45:33 Look at you. A grown man
00:45:36 I probably look like my old man.
00:45:39 There. Now you shake hands with the guy.
00:45:43 - Why?
00:45:45 Scrub all you like.
00:45:48 What will his colleagues and family think?
00:45:53 Meanwhile, you are left
00:45:56 Small price to pay for
00:46:00 I think I'll pass. But do me a favour.
00:46:02 Stay here while I go talk to him.
00:46:16 I assure you tonight's programme
00:46:19 I hope so, for your sake. It's
00:46:23 The Easter Bunny was accosted earlier.
00:46:25 If there's anything resembling the trouble
00:46:29 ..you'll end up hosting
00:46:33 Gentlemen, please trust me.
00:46:35 I have taken the necessary precautions to
00:46:42 - (man) Look out!
00:46:44 0h. Ah... (clears throat)
00:46:47 Nothing to worry about.
00:46:49 Sound test. Sound test.
00:46:52 I tell you what. Why don't...
00:46:55 Why don't I meet you back
00:47:06 - Somebody said you wanted to see me.
00:47:11 I accept that you
00:47:15 The two of you have been
00:47:19 ..for you to have slimed
00:47:22 ..and I am sure you did just that
00:47:27 Probably while I was at home.
00:47:29 Brandi has a bright future.
00:47:35 She is an extremely intelligent
00:47:39 ..and I'm sure that one day she will
00:47:46 But you...
00:47:48 You, on the other hand,
00:47:56 And no chance of making it
00:48:03 My daughter is too good for you.
00:48:07 You will never ever be with her, hm?
00:48:14 So, if there isn't anything else...
00:48:18 Hey, fellas.
00:48:20 Well, well, well, if it isn't my neighbour.
00:48:24 Mr Svenning, how've you...
00:48:26 Damn, would you feel that iron-grip
00:48:30 So! What's going on here?
00:48:33 0h, TS and I were just discussing
00:48:37 0f which he does have many.
00:48:39 Hey, look at that ring. What is that?
00:48:42 That is my junior-college class ring.
00:48:46 I also hope to come loud one day,
00:48:53 Say, would you like
00:48:56 They're a little melty,
00:48:59 If I remember correctly,
00:49:03 - Um... Dark chocolate?
00:49:06 - 0h, no.
00:49:07 - No, no, please.
00:49:14 Thank you.
00:49:17 Mm!
00:49:24 That's good.
00:49:29 And, you know, being a man who believes
00:49:37 ..I have something to offer
00:49:41 Really? What's that?
00:49:49 - What is this?
00:49:51 0nce I realised the both
00:49:54 ..I decided to set up this little ambush...
00:49:56 ..to remove you and your sidekick
00:50:03 Hey, why am I his sidekick?
00:50:08 Rene! Get Jay and Silent Bob!
00:50:11 Please! Hurry!
00:50:14 - Did somebody call your name?
00:50:16 - I have to go to the bathroom. Wait here.
00:50:20 - It's your day.
00:50:24 What you need is
00:50:26 I guarantee you'd see
00:50:29 ..and maybe some big-titted
00:50:32 Look at me, you sloppy bitch!
00:50:36 Dude, you're a mad chick magnet.
00:50:39 TS. Brodie. Security guards.
00:50:42 Under arrest. They need help. Go!
00:50:47 Wow. A sailboat.
00:50:51 - Brenda?
00:50:59 This is illegal!
00:51:06 0h, all right. I believe when
00:51:10 ..the bag of contraband
00:51:12 ..will give them reason to lock us up,
00:51:16 Isn't that right, Mr LaFours?
00:51:21 ''Come, son of Jor-El. Kneel before Zod!''
00:51:25 Snootchy bootchies!
00:51:35 - Vulcan nerve pinch?
00:51:37 See that stink-palm? He licked his hand.
00:51:40 - We gotta go. They'll be looking for us.
00:51:44 - You wanna hide? I know a place.
00:51:47 - Don't I get to wash my hand first?
00:52:06 What the shit are we gonna do?
00:52:19 Yeah. Come on, we're fucked.
00:52:27 Yeah! Badass! Yeah!
00:52:51 Where do you get those wonderful toys?
00:52:58 - This is where we're hiding?
00:53:03 Neither does any
00:53:08 - What do you see in this place?
00:53:13 - Hey, Walt!
00:53:15 - They know me here.
00:53:18 Why is the sound of defeat in your voice?
00:53:20 Might be because I've been defeated.
00:53:22 Man, you're giving up? You used to be
00:53:27 That guy punched Amanda Gross's
00:53:31 - That wasn't me. That was you.
00:53:34 - And it was her grandmother.
00:53:38 Hey, you should have boards
00:53:41 Bloody savage.
00:53:43 That is one of your more admirably
00:53:46 You would beat up a grandmother,...
00:53:48 ..or a senior citizen's community,
00:53:52 Yeah, but only if they were really old.
00:53:54 Maybe I was deluded. 0r maybe
00:53:58 ..if something stupid could trip up
00:54:02 You're gonna listen to me,
00:54:05 Jesus, man! Haven't I made it clear during
00:54:10 Half the time, I'm just talkin'
00:54:14 Sometimes, yes, but on occasion
00:54:18 This morning may have been such a time.
00:54:20 You know what you need?
00:54:24 You've given me enough
00:54:26 Not from me. From Ivannah.
00:54:28 Who's Ivannah?
00:54:38 - I can't even find the words.
00:54:41 - Why do palm-reading topless?
00:54:44 She could tell me I was gonna die
00:54:48 - Your maleness amazes me sometimes.
00:54:52 - What kind of people use this service?
00:54:56 - You're not suggesting we...
00:54:59 I've already reached my lowest.
00:55:03 - You used to like tits, too.
00:55:06 ..but why would I pay some hag money
00:55:10 ..coupled with sagging, wrinkled boobs?
00:55:13 Man, this place is
00:55:17 You've come for a
00:55:20 Amongst other things.
00:55:23 Talents like those I possess
00:55:26 If you have heart condition,
00:55:30 ..or have a family history
00:55:33 ..Empire Entertainment
00:55:37 ..in the fortune-telling
00:55:42 - You guys still in?
00:55:46 You give me 58 dollar, 60 cent.
00:55:52 What?
00:55:54 - You expect me to pay?
00:55:56 My God! I can't believe you.
00:56:00 You'll thank me later.
00:56:04 Thank you.
00:56:06 Mm.
00:56:09 All right, gentlemen. Free your mind.
00:56:13 - I'd like to free something.
00:56:16 - That's what I was thinking.
00:56:22 Mmm.
00:56:23 I sense a grave disturbance
00:56:27 A difficulty in affecting
00:56:33 Something hard.
00:56:35 - I'm convinced she's got the gift.
00:56:38 Miss, I appreciate the effort, and I'm
00:56:42 ..but my shallow friend here
00:56:45 ..so you can cut the theatrics.
00:56:48 Great. I do much better when
00:56:52 - You don't have to say anything.
00:56:56 But in order to do that...
00:56:58 ..I have to work completely...
00:57:02 ..unfettered.
00:57:10 Ahh... ohh, yes.
00:57:13 0h, I can definitely sense
00:57:17 Girl trouble.
00:57:19 Apparently, you're both on the outs
00:57:24 - That's amazing.
00:57:27 0hh, you both feel
00:57:32 ..but only one of you makes it vocal.
00:57:35 The other one suffers silently.
00:57:39 - God, you're right.
00:57:41 How can this be resolved?
00:57:43 I would say... yes.
00:57:46 Combine your efforts. That's what I see.
00:57:48 - Let me tell you what I see.
00:57:51 I don't buy her power.
00:57:53 All right, when's my birthday?
00:57:55 Between the first and last...
00:58:00 ..of 0ctober.
00:58:03 - D'you hear that?
00:58:05 Miss Ivannah, why are you
00:58:08 How come you're not in a larger, upscale
00:58:13 Believe it or not, some people
00:58:16 And, unfortunately, it's
00:58:20 - Really?
00:58:23 - 0h, you have a third nipple?
00:58:26 It's as clear as day!
00:58:29 - You can stare at it. I don't mind.
00:58:32 Understanding is reached
00:58:39 0f course.
00:58:41 Miss Ivannah, thank you. I can't tell
00:58:45 Thank you very much.
00:58:48 I won't.
00:58:57 - Do you have...
00:58:59 - No.
00:59:01 You could double-check me, if you like.
00:59:04 - Really?
00:59:05 Come on!
00:59:16 Works every time.
00:59:29 - Whoa! You're gonna what?
00:59:32 Are you kidding? Last time we were here,
00:59:36 He can't touch us once it starts. It's a live
00:59:41 - It can't happen.
00:59:43 ''Understanding is reached
00:59:46 - Brandi will respond to confrontation.
00:59:52 What the hell is your problem? You're
00:59:56 - I'm being rational.
00:59:58 ..you might want to win Rene back.
01:00:00 - Rene who?
01:00:03 Meet me by the stage
01:00:05 - Where are you going?
01:00:08 What the hell am I supposed to do?
01:00:11 Dude, this looks like your mom.
01:00:13 - I've been lookin' for you two.
01:00:16 - In a bookstore?
01:00:19 - I need help. You up for getting stoned?
01:00:29 You, um, looking at that couple inside?
01:00:33 Actually I was just looking
01:00:36 0h, yeah. That's kinda nice.
01:00:40 - What? The bras?
01:00:42 - They look happy.
01:00:46 You know, it reminds me
01:00:50 ..when Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy
01:00:54 0f course, the Green Goblin showed up...
01:00:56 ..and pumpkin-bombed
01:00:59 But aside from that,
01:01:02 0h, my God!
01:01:04 Holy shit!
01:01:07 - Aren't you...
01:01:12 - 'S up, boys? You guys on this show?
01:01:15 Between hopin' to win, the crowd
01:01:19 ..I'd be scared as hell if I were yous two.
01:01:21 Sure, man. What if you fuck up?
01:01:25 I'd be piss-scared I'd get a boner
01:01:28 He's right. This is live.
01:01:31 Shut the fuck up, man.
01:01:34 There's only one thing that could take off
01:01:39 Make you forget how many people
01:01:42 And what's that?
01:01:43 Snootchy bootchy nootchies!
01:01:47 The Fantastic Four. Reed Richards.
01:01:50 - Like his...
01:01:52 We never tackled stuff like that then,
01:01:58 I can't believe I'm talking to you.
01:02:02 - Let's do the list. Spider-Man.
01:02:04 - The Incredible Hulk.
01:02:06 - 0h, man, this is so cool. The X-Men.
01:02:10 Shit, man. You are a god!
01:02:12 Hey, look at that couple.
01:02:17 That's the second time
01:02:20 I like that sort of thing.
01:02:24 Had one. We just broke up.
01:02:27 The Thing. Is his dork made of
01:02:30 It's a superhero secret. Tell me, why
01:02:35 She was a pain in the ass. She wanted
01:02:39 Said I was too into
01:02:41 Yeah, I can relate.
01:02:43 There was a time when
01:02:46 I had a girl, probably the same as yours.
01:02:50 She always complained that I spent
01:02:54 ..and eventually we broke up.
01:02:57 See? What did she know?
01:02:59 - Probably had a slew of women since.
01:03:04 Jagger and me, we had a running
01:03:08 Matter of fact, last time
01:03:11 - Damn, that's hot!
01:03:14 Did you ever get back together with her?
01:03:16 0ne day I found out she'd got married.
01:03:19 I had blown it. I had missed my window.
01:03:22 No way. What'd you do?
01:03:25 I went on with my life.
01:03:27 I created some special new superheroes.
01:03:31 They were characters that reflected
01:03:35 - How so?
01:03:38 ..to conceal his own mangled form, right?
01:03:41 Yeah.
01:03:42 0K, that was me beneath the armour.
01:03:46 The Hulk. A normal guy one minute,...
01:03:49 ..a rage of emotions the next.
01:03:51 Just like me when I thought
01:03:54 So you created each character as
01:03:58 Yeah. The girl that got away.
01:04:00 Look, do yourself a favour, Brodie.
01:04:03 Don't wait, because all the money,...
01:04:06 ..all the women, even
01:04:09 ..they can't substitute for that one person.
01:04:12 - I dunno. All the comics in the world.
01:04:16 - Well, good talking to you.
01:04:19 You keep reading 'em,
01:04:23 - Hey, Stan.
01:04:26 - She really meant that much to you?
01:04:31 ..for just one more day with her.
01:04:34 Take care.
01:04:45 - Stan!
01:04:47 - Hey, I think he bought it.
01:04:50 It was the Vulture's soliloquy from
01:04:54 - ''Love Be a Vulture Tonight.''
01:04:58 0h, forget it. But I think
01:05:01 He seems to be really hung up
01:05:05 - But he'll outgrow it.
01:05:13 I think I felt it move.
01:05:15 - Just kidding.
01:05:18 Lend me that tape of Shannon Hamilton.
01:05:23 - It's at my house.
01:05:26 - I don't have a licence.
01:05:29 You still got that stage schematic? I need
01:05:39 - Jesus, what's with him?
01:05:44 Yeah, but everything is fine.
01:05:46 We're about to start.
01:05:48 0h, you are in for something
01:05:52 I have lined up...
01:05:56 - Excuse me.
01:05:58 Jesus.
01:06:04 Sorry.
01:06:05 I've lined up some
01:06:08 ..and this promises to be a lot of fun.
01:06:12 - Should you be in bed or something?
01:06:17 ..for the world.
01:06:21 Go and make sure everybody's
01:06:26 Uh! 0h, no, no, no.
01:06:35 - How much did you smoke?
01:06:39 - These guys were lightweights.
01:06:41 My treat. As long as you promise,...
01:06:44 ..next time you pop your old lady,
01:06:48 - Let's hope there is a next time.
01:06:51 You're never gonna believe who I just met.
01:06:54 - What the hell happened to these two?
01:06:58 Wait a minute. There's only two.
01:07:01 - I never saw a third guy.
01:07:04 What the hell happened to those guys?
01:07:06 - They got lightheaded.
01:07:08 - They gonna cancel the show?
01:07:11 I'm supposed to be on it.
01:07:14 We're taking their place.
01:07:17 - Didn't Svenning have you arrested?
01:07:21 Something's going on.
01:07:23 Mr Svenning has come down
01:07:26 - What happened to those two?
01:07:30 - Is this the guy Svenning had arrested?
01:07:33 All right, Quint. I dunno how you got
01:07:37 We'll postpone the start
01:07:39 You called down the thunder.
01:07:42 - Security!
01:07:43 What?
01:07:46 - Jesus Christ, you knocked him out.
01:07:49 You call Security?
01:07:52 They got stoned and knocked
01:07:54 - That's not what... ow!
01:07:58 Whatever.
01:08:02 Look, dude. No more shit. Just go out
01:08:07 When Tricia shows up here with
01:08:10 I'm on it. Wait a sec.
01:08:36 Good evening and welcome
01:08:39 0ne match made here ignites
01:08:43 Hi. I'm Bob Summers, your host.
01:08:45 Tonight we'll watch as
01:08:48 ..woos our beautiful,
01:08:52 Ladies and gentlemen, get ready
01:08:55 ..as we introduce the suitors!
01:09:20 0ur first suitor goes to Marymount
01:09:24 Say hi to Doug Paging.
01:09:32 Do it, Doug!
01:09:34 0ur second suitor hails
01:09:37 ..where he majors in communications.
01:09:40 Say hi to Rob Feature.
01:09:50 0ur final suitor goes to Rutgers,...
01:09:52 ..where he majors in
01:09:55 A nice welcome for Gill Hicks.
01:10:00 Pay attention, dick.
01:10:03 May the best man win.
01:10:05 Now I would like to introduce our lovely
01:10:09 ..where she majors
01:10:12 A big welcome
01:10:28 All right, everybody knows
01:10:31 0ur lovely suitor-ette will ask
01:10:34 ..and make her decision based
01:10:38 - Brandi, are you ready?
01:10:42 Then you may fire when ready.
01:10:45 0K.
01:10:48 Suitor No.1.
01:10:50 If you were a car,
01:10:55 Um... the kind you'd never
01:11:02 0K. Suitor No.2.
01:11:04 Can't you call me the second suitor?
01:11:10 0K. Second suitor.
01:11:13 - If we were making whoopee...
01:11:17 Um...
01:11:20 Uh, well, if we were, uh...
01:11:25 - What, like fucking?
01:11:30 Yeah.
01:11:31 If we were, uh, you know,
01:11:42 No, I think that's personal.
01:11:45 0K.
01:11:47 Suitor No.3.
01:11:51 Well, first I'd take you shopping
01:11:56 ..then we'd do lunch, probably at the
01:12:01 Then at night, we'd take in an opera.
01:12:06 Then I'd follow it all up
01:12:09 ..where I'd pop on the radio, and then
01:12:16 That was the biggest
01:12:20 I mean, look at you! You're the kind
01:12:23 I should know, we can smell our own.
01:12:32 Suitor No.1.
01:12:34 If we fell in love,
01:12:38 When Jaws popped out of the water.
01:12:40 Excuse me?
01:12:42 I propose to you now. I propose you
01:12:46 ..and you don't give up on somebody
01:12:49 And take off your socks when
01:12:52 He hates it when you leave 'em on.
01:12:55 - What?
01:12:58 Suitor No.1. You sound familiar.
01:13:01 - Like your conscience, maybe?
01:13:05 Now make with the questions.
01:13:07 Suitor No.3.
01:13:09 Is your kiss like a soft breeze,...
01:13:12 ..a firm handshake, or a jackhammer?
01:13:14 - Why's the funny guy moving his hands?
01:13:19 What the fuck is going on up there?
01:13:22 Definitely a jackhammer.
01:13:25 ..and when I'm done, you're not
01:13:29 Where do you come up with this shit?
01:13:31 That is the cheesiest response to
01:13:35 I saw you kiss
01:13:39 Suitor No.2, you have to wait
01:13:43 Richard Dawson, just go back to your
01:13:50 - Who the hell'd you see me kiss?
01:13:53 - He seemed unimpressed.
01:13:57 Suitor-ette, this guy's a homophobe.
01:14:01 Is this the kinda guy
01:14:04 - I don't hate gay people.
01:14:06 - Yes. I mean no.
01:14:10 Can't be comfortable with his sexuality.
01:14:15 - Brodie told me to give this to you.
01:14:19 I don't wanna be here when that tape
01:14:22 Suitor-ette, how about
01:14:26 - Um, I don't think that...
01:14:29 - What are you talking about?
01:14:32 - Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh over here.
01:14:37 Why not? Because he's fat? You got
01:14:44 Snootchy bootchies!
01:14:46 Are you ready?
01:14:58 Uh...
01:15:00 If I have a conviction, I stick to it.
01:15:03 - Were you ever in love?
01:15:06 0h, really?
01:15:09 Well, he, uh... We broke up.
01:15:12 - Why?
01:15:16 - I mean, were you unhappy?
01:15:19 - Why?
01:15:22 Hey, what about the rest of us?
01:15:25 - Suitor No.2.
01:15:28 - 0h, Gill, just shut the fuck up.
01:15:31 Second suitor.
01:15:36 Already did once today.
01:15:41 My cousin Walter jerked off
01:15:45 He was on a plane to New Mexico
01:15:48 The plane started spinning
01:15:51 He decides it's all over, and whips it
01:15:55 All the other passengers take a cue from
01:15:59 So all the passengers are beating off,
01:16:03 ..when all of a sudden, the hydraulics
01:16:08 It lands safely, and everyone puts their
01:16:14 Nobody mentions the phenomenon
01:16:23 - Well, did he come or what?
01:16:27 There's just some things
01:16:30 Second suitor. If you were a comic-book
01:16:35 Wow. That's a great question.
01:16:38 What does one gauge his response on?
01:16:42 The ability to banter well with villains?
01:16:44 - How's your comic collection, Brodie?
01:16:48 0h, comics! What are you talkin' about?
01:16:53 I knew it. Suitor No.1, you
01:16:58 No. No, but you sure do.
01:17:01 I was in love.
01:17:05 ..who wouldn't fall to pieces
01:17:08 - How so?
01:17:11 - What was I supposed to do?
01:17:14 Show a little backbone? What did you do?
01:17:17 When I walked away, did you make
01:17:21 You just ran off and cried on the shoulder
01:17:25 Boy Wonder? I'm all man, lady.
01:17:28 So you're here now,
01:17:31 You're airing all our
01:17:34 You've gone this far.
01:17:37 We were hours away from spending a
01:17:42 ..and she backs out
01:17:44 The girl who was meant to be
01:17:48 - When I tried to explain this to him,...
01:17:51 ..he was such an asshole about it...
01:17:53 ..that even though it killed me
01:17:57 You know, I've been crying all day,
01:18:01 Well, he just goes on with his life.
01:18:05 You put yourself on an auction block,
01:18:09 Do I get a chance to field any questions?
01:18:11 No!
01:18:12 I think I should say something here.
01:18:16 Suitor No.1 has pined over you all day,
01:18:20 When this public opportunity to do that
01:18:25 ..risked life and limb, and faced the odds
01:18:29 I'm tired of this whole thing.
01:18:33 Forget about the shit that happened
01:18:36 I think the audience
01:18:46 Well, ask her, you silly bastard.
01:18:51 Miss Suitor-ette,...
01:18:53 ..suitor No.1 loves you, has always
01:18:58 He's only got one question
01:19:03 Will you marry me?
01:19:22 Yes.
01:19:45 Snootchy bootchies,
01:19:58 - Are we set or what?
01:20:17 0h, a sailboat.
01:20:31 I think it's safe to say
01:20:34 These two lucky people will be winging
01:20:39 ..for a week of theme parks, beaches,...
01:20:41 ..and a lot more, from the look of it.
01:20:43 Well, I guess that about wraps it up for...
01:20:46 Not just yet, Pat Sajak.
01:20:49 All right?
01:20:53 You, all right.
01:20:55 I believe you have
01:20:59 - Yeah? What's that?
01:21:02 The girl.
01:21:04 You have my heart.
01:21:09 What can I say? I love the retard.
01:21:13 I thought tonight we were supposed...
01:21:15 Hey, Hamilton!
01:21:17 Let's try to wrap this up.
01:21:20 All right, that's it.
01:21:23 I am gonna fuck you up beyond repair.
01:21:41 Sailboat. Sailboat. Goddamn sailboat.
01:21:45 Ladies and gentlemen, this
01:21:49 ..is a pillar of the shopping community,...
01:21:51 ..who informed me earlier
01:21:54 ..to screw my girlfriend
01:21:57 What? Like the back of a Volkswagen?
01:22:04 And as he comes up here...
01:22:08 Holy shit.
01:22:11 Without further ado, I present
01:22:15 ..of the proprietor of Fashionable Male.
01:22:17 Now, Silent Bob!
01:22:21 I said ''Now, Silent Bob!''
01:22:25 When, Lord? When the hell
01:22:30 Now! Now, now, now!
01:22:43 Who's your favourite New Kid?
01:22:47 Ohh, yes. Don't make me
01:22:50 Ohh, yeah. Call me Donny. Come on.
01:22:54 - Yeah. Please don't go, girl.
01:22:58 Hey, that girl's only 15.
01:23:03 15! I thought she was 36.
01:23:07 Come on, guys.
01:23:22 Hey. Where you're going, they screw
01:23:26 - Really?
01:23:28 Hey! You can't strike
01:23:31 0h, come on. Just once.
01:23:33 All right, but make it fast.
01:23:38 Would you have gone on vacation
01:23:41 Well, what do you think?
01:23:44 I don't know. I think you would have.
01:23:47 But I would have sent you a postcard.
01:23:51 What the hell is wrong with me?
01:23:53 If the tape was out of reach,
01:23:57 The Jedi mind-trick!
01:23:59 Holy shit, motherfuckin' Yoda and shit!
01:24:02 ''Adventure? Excitement?''
01:24:05 ''A Jedi craves not these things.''
01:24:34 Did you see that shit?
01:24:37 I call that illegal.
01:24:41 So...
01:24:44 So what?
01:24:45 I was wonderin', if maybe
01:24:48 Yeah?
01:24:51 Would you like to come over
01:24:54 I can't guarantee you
01:25:03 It was a warm-up. Please, come on! The
01:25:07 Svenning, the show was a piece of shit.
01:25:10 The only thing that saved it
01:25:13 Hi, I'm Bentley Garrison, with the network.
01:25:17 Hilarious. You got great presence.
01:25:19 - Ever considered hosting a talk show?
01:25:22 Him?!
01:26:27 Yeah?