|
Mary And Max
|
| 00:02:43 |
Mary Dinkle's eyes were the colour |
| 00:02:47 |
Her birthmark, the colour of poo. |
| 00:03:03 |
lt was Saturday afternoon |
| 00:03:08 |
Mary wished she had a friend |
| 00:03:24 |
Mary's mood ring, which she'd found |
| 00:03:29 |
which, according to the chart, |
| 00:03:32 |
meant she was either pensive, |
| 00:03:39 |
Her only friends were 'The Noblets' |
| 00:03:43 |
They weren't the real ones |
| 00:03:46 |
but fake ones she had to make herself |
| 00:03:51 |
and the chicken bones salvaged |
| 00:03:56 |
She had to make all her own toys, |
| 00:04:00 |
potato chip packets that |
| 00:04:08 |
Mary's father, Noel Norman Dinkle, |
| 00:04:12 |
worked in a factory, |
| 00:04:17 |
At show and tell, she told the class |
| 00:04:19 |
he could get as many free tea bags |
| 00:04:24 |
Her favourite tea bag was Earl Grey. |
| 00:04:28 |
She loved saying 'Earl Grey' |
| 00:04:33 |
and would like one day to marry |
| 00:04:40 |
They would live |
| 00:04:42 |
have 9 babies, 2 ducks... |
| 00:04:44 |
..and a dog called Kevin. |
| 00:04:49 |
Noel's hobby was to sit in his shed |
| 00:04:53 |
and stuff birds he'd found |
| 00:04:58 |
Mary wished he'd spend more time |
| 00:05:05 |
She also wished she had |
| 00:05:08 |
Her mother had told her |
| 00:05:12 |
How could someone be an accident? |
| 00:05:16 |
Grandpoppy Ralph had told her |
| 00:05:20 |
and found by dads |
| 00:05:26 |
Grandpoppy Ralph |
| 00:05:29 |
and had been a member |
| 00:05:34 |
Aaagh! Aaaaaghhh! |
| 00:05:36 |
They swam in winter to feel alive. |
| 00:05:40 |
Grandpoppy Ralph had said |
| 00:05:46 |
He had died the year before, aged 74, |
| 00:05:49 |
and his best mate, Ken, |
| 00:05:54 |
Born in a barn |
| 00:05:58 |
Ralph lived a long life, |
| 00:06:00 |
then died of pneumonia. |
| 00:06:03 |
Mary missed him |
| 00:06:04 |
and often wondered |
| 00:06:09 |
A lot of things puzzled Mary |
| 00:06:12 |
especially her mother, |
| 00:06:17 |
To Mary, Vera always seemed wobbly. |
| 00:06:22 |
A pretty vicious ball. |
| 00:06:25 |
Vera liked listening to the cricket |
| 00:06:29 |
and her main ingredient |
| 00:06:33 |
3/44. And Thompson 2/15... |
| 00:06:36 |
She told Mary it was a type of tea |
| 00:06:39 |
that needed constant testing. |
| 00:06:42 |
Just out of the reach |
| 00:06:51 |
Mary thought her mother tested |
| 00:06:58 |
Mary also couldn't understand |
| 00:07:04 |
Yesterday, she borrowed |
| 00:07:09 |
She told Mary she put things |
| 00:07:16 |
Vera was indeed a complicated soul. |
| 00:07:31 |
Oooh! |
| 00:07:33 |
Mary stopped daydreaming |
| 00:07:35 |
and went and fetched |
| 00:07:41 |
Her father had found the rooster |
| 00:07:44 |
after it had fallen off the back |
| 00:07:48 |
She named him Ethel. |
| 00:07:54 |
lt was time to watch 'The Noblets'. |
| 00:07:59 |
because everyone was brown, |
| 00:08:03 |
and had oodles of friends. |
| 00:08:06 |
There was nothing nicer, |
| 00:08:09 |
than the smell of a wet rooster... |
| 00:08:12 |
..the sound of rain on the roof |
| 00:08:14 |
and the taste of sweetened |
| 00:08:18 |
while watching your favourite cartoon. |
| 00:09:08 |
Meanwhile, a man called Max Horowitz |
| 00:09:16 |
Max's small television |
| 00:09:20 |
His big television, sound but no picture. |
| 00:09:25 |
He was 44 and liked 'The Noblets' |
| 00:09:27 |
as they lived in a delineated |
| 00:09:31 |
with constant adherent conformity |
| 00:09:34 |
and also because they had |
| 00:09:41 |
Max had trouble sleeping |
| 00:09:42 |
and had spent the night watching television |
| 00:09:49 |
He noted to himself it was the sixth fly |
| 00:09:58 |
He wondered if he should go to bed |
| 00:10:01 |
or have one more chocolate hotdog. |
| 00:10:05 |
He thought he'd try both |
| 00:10:09 |
lt had been 6 hours and 12 minutes |
| 00:10:16 |
And Henry's death |
| 00:10:21 |
lt had become asymmetrical |
| 00:10:23 |
and the sooner |
| 00:10:29 |
Tomorrow he would go to the pet store |
| 00:10:33 |
Henry lX. |
| 00:10:51 |
Next. |
| 00:10:54 |
lt was shopping day |
| 00:10:56 |
and Mary sat patiently while her mother |
| 00:11:03 |
To fill in time, she scanned the room |
| 00:11:06 |
and counted how many things |
| 00:11:09 |
There was sticky tape, rubber bands |
| 00:11:11 |
and a phone book with a picture |
| 00:11:16 |
with her hand on fire. |
| 00:11:19 |
People had weird names in America, |
| 00:11:25 |
Funny-sounding people |
| 00:11:30 |
She wondered what they looked like, |
| 00:11:33 |
and if they were married, wore glasses |
| 00:11:39 |
Maybe in the USA |
| 00:11:42 |
Hmm... |
| 00:11:45 |
Maybe they found them in cans. |
| 00:11:48 |
But, no, they wouldn't fit |
| 00:11:53 |
Mary had an idea. |
| 00:11:56 |
She would write to one of the Americans |
| 00:12:02 |
She chose a Mr M Horowitz. |
| 00:12:15 |
Aarrgh. Mrs Dinkle! |
| 00:12:18 |
Come back here, Vera Dinkle! |
| 00:12:23 |
Aaarghhhh! |
| 00:12:26 |
Dear Mr M Horowitz, |
| 00:12:28 |
my name is Mary Daisy Dinkle |
| 00:12:32 |
and l am 8 years old, |
| 00:12:39 |
My favourite colour is brown |
| 00:12:41 |
and my favourite food |
| 00:12:45 |
followed closely by chocolate. |
| 00:12:49 |
l have a rooster called Ethel |
| 00:12:54 |
He doesn't lay eggs but will one day. |
| 00:12:58 |
My mother likes smoking, |
| 00:13:02 |
and my father likes playing in his shed |
| 00:13:07 |
Where do babies come from |
| 00:13:10 |
Do they come from cola cans? |
| 00:13:12 |
ln Australia |
| 00:13:17 |
Here is a drawing of me. |
| 00:13:18 |
l can't draw ears proper |
| 00:13:23 |
lt would be great if you could write back |
| 00:13:27 |
Yours 'sincerealy', Mary Daisy Dinkle. |
| 00:13:32 |
PS. l hope you like the chocolate bar |
| 00:13:38 |
lt's called a Cherry Ripe. |
| 00:13:54 |
Goodbye, letter. Don't forget to write. |
| 00:14:29 |
Max hated Thursdays |
| 00:14:32 |
the day of his weekly |
| 00:14:36 |
And tonight he'd felt |
| 00:14:39 |
because he'd eaten two chocolate |
| 00:14:44 |
OK, class... |
| 00:14:45 |
Eating chocolate was breaking the rules. |
| 00:14:49 |
He'd found the night |
| 00:14:52 |
because of Marjorie Butterworth's |
| 00:14:55 |
Class dismissed. |
| 00:14:56 |
Max had trouble understanding |
| 00:15:02 |
Flirting was as foreign to him |
| 00:15:11 |
Max found most people very confusing. |
| 00:15:17 |
But little did Max realise |
| 00:15:18 |
his night was about to become |
| 00:15:25 |
Hmm. |
| 00:15:30 |
He read Mary's letter four times |
| 00:15:38 |
whenever confronted |
| 00:15:52 |
Max's fragile existence |
| 00:15:59 |
And after staring out of the window |
| 00:16:03 |
he finally made a decision. |
| 00:16:27 |
Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle, |
| 00:16:30 |
thank you for the letter, |
| 00:16:34 |
after my Overeaters Anonymous class. |
| 00:16:39 |
l am trying to lose weight |
| 00:16:41 |
because my psychiatrist, |
| 00:16:44 |
says a healthy body |
| 00:16:49 |
Ooooh! |
| 00:16:50 |
He says my mind is not that healthy. |
| 00:16:54 |
Your drawing is an interesting |
| 00:17:00 |
l have never met anyone from Australia. |
| 00:17:03 |
Firstly, l will answer your question. |
| 00:17:09 |
Unfortunately, in America, |
| 00:17:14 |
l asked my mother when l was four |
| 00:17:17 |
and she said they came from eggs |
| 00:17:22 |
lf you aren't Jewish, |
| 00:17:26 |
lf you're an atheist, |
| 00:17:31 |
So this is where babies come from |
| 00:17:35 |
l share my home with a fish, |
| 00:17:37 |
some snails, whom l have named |
| 00:17:43 |
..a parakeet called Mr Biscuit |
| 00:17:48 |
and, finally, a cat called Hal. |
| 00:17:51 |
'Hal' is an abbreviation for halitosis, |
| 00:17:57 |
He followed me home |
| 00:18:00 |
shot his eye out with a beebee gun. |
| 00:18:03 |
Do you have a pet kangaroo? |
| 00:18:06 |
When l was born, my father |
| 00:18:10 |
She shot herself with my uncle's gun |
| 00:18:16 |
Do you like chocolate hotdogs? |
| 00:18:18 |
l invented the recipe for them |
| 00:18:23 |
When l was young, l invented |
| 00:18:29 |
My psychiatrist says |
| 00:18:32 |
so he just sits in the corner and reads. |
| 00:18:40 |
Last week l picked up |
| 00:18:46 |
People are always littering in New York. |
| 00:18:49 |
l do not understand |
| 00:18:54 |
Butts are bad |
| 00:18:57 |
and fish smoke them |
| 00:19:03 |
l am just joking because, of course, |
| 00:19:06 |
it is impossible for a cigarette |
| 00:19:11 |
Also, fish do not have pockets |
| 00:19:21 |
l am 44 years old |
| 00:19:23 |
and have 8 tracksuits |
| 00:19:30 |
l weigh 352 lb... |
| 00:19:33 |
Ooooh! |
| 00:19:35 |
..and am as tall as a 6-foot tree. |
| 00:19:38 |
Welcome to the New York Lottery! |
| 00:19:40 |
l enjoy entering the lottery |
| 00:19:42 |
and have chosen the same numbers |
| 00:19:46 |
Those numbers are 3... |
| 00:19:49 |
5... |
| 00:19:51 |
6... |
| 00:19:53 |
9... |
| 00:19:54 |
11 ... |
| 00:19:56 |
And 12. |
| 00:20:00 |
Are you a winner? |
| 00:20:03 |
Or a loser? |
| 00:20:04 |
l have had many different jobs |
| 00:20:08 |
My first job was collecting |
| 00:20:14 |
My second job was at Yiddel's |
| 00:20:17 |
where l worked at the machine |
| 00:20:22 |
l was born Jewish |
| 00:20:26 |
but l've since read many books |
| 00:20:27 |
that have proven God |
| 00:20:32 |
People like to believe in God because |
| 00:20:36 |
like where did the universe come from, |
| 00:20:40 |
do worms go to heaven... |
| 00:20:41 |
do worms go to heaven... |
| 00:20:42 |
..and why do old ladies have blue hair? |
| 00:20:46 |
Even though l'm an atheist, |
| 00:20:47 |
l still wear my yarmulke |
| 00:20:52 |
My third job was for a company |
| 00:20:58 |
l worked at the frisbee printing machine. |
| 00:21:02 |
A frisbee is a circular plastic disc |
| 00:21:07 |
lt is like a boomerang |
| 00:21:10 |
but it does not come back. |
| 00:21:14 |
My fourth job was when |
| 00:21:18 |
l didn't get paid much |
| 00:21:24 |
Jurors are outstanding members |
| 00:21:28 |
who haven't murdered anybody. |
| 00:21:31 |
l made it to the short list |
| 00:21:32 |
for a trial where a man |
| 00:21:36 |
at his own surprise birthday party. |
| 00:21:39 |
Unfortunately, l didn't get selected |
| 00:21:43 |
l'd been a mental patient at one point. |
| 00:21:47 |
Have you ever been hang gliding? |
| 00:21:49 |
My fifth job was as a garbage collector. |
| 00:21:53 |
l got to clean up after litterbugs |
| 00:21:58 |
Sometimes l used to pretend |
| 00:22:13 |
This is 911 . |
| 00:22:16 |
One time the police took me in |
| 00:22:19 |
but let me go when they decided |
| 00:22:23 |
except myself. |
| 00:22:27 |
The sixth job l had |
| 00:22:33 |
in the stationery supply department. |
| 00:22:37 |
Because l am good with numbers |
| 00:22:38 |
l had to work out how many |
| 00:22:43 |
One day they did a security check |
| 00:22:45 |
and asked whether l was a member |
| 00:22:49 |
l told them l was a member of |
| 00:22:54 |
They said this didn't count |
| 00:22:59 |
Fortunately, l did not remember |
| 00:23:04 |
Have you ever been a communist? |
| 00:23:07 |
Have you ever been attacked by a crow |
| 00:23:12 |
When l was 9, a crow attacked me |
| 00:23:20 |
l had to have three stitches |
| 00:23:24 |
and in spring l now wear a helmet |
| 00:23:28 |
People laugh at me |
| 00:23:31 |
l'm not sure why. |
| 00:23:33 |
People often confuse me |
| 00:23:41 |
New York is a very busy |
| 00:23:44 |
l would prefer to live |
| 00:23:47 |
like the moon. |
| 00:23:49 |
l don't like crowds, bright lights, |
| 00:23:55 |
New York has all these |
| 00:23:58 |
especially the smells. |
| 00:24:01 |
l often wear nose and ear plugs |
| 00:24:05 |
lt helps keep me calm. |
| 00:24:08 |
l find humans interesting |
| 00:24:14 |
l think, however, |
| 00:24:21 |
You appear very happy and l think |
| 00:24:25 |
as l know Australia |
| 00:24:31 |
Can you speed-read? |
| 00:24:33 |
l have taught myself to read |
| 00:24:36 |
one eyeball per page. |
| 00:24:39 |
l have to go now |
| 00:24:41 |
even though l have not told you |
| 00:24:44 |
in a condom factory. |
| 00:24:47 |
Write back soon. |
| 00:24:48 |
Your American friend, |
| 00:24:55 |
PS. Please find enclosed |
| 00:25:00 |
PPS. Thank you for the Cherry Ripe |
| 00:25:04 |
and l am glad you like chocolate |
| 00:25:08 |
l have never eaten |
| 00:25:10 |
but l will try some this week. |
| 00:25:14 |
PPPS. l have never used a condom. |
| 00:25:19 |
Gey gezunterheyt. |
| 00:25:23 |
Max hoped |
| 00:25:26 |
He'd always wanted a friend. |
| 00:25:29 |
A friend that wasn't invisible, |
| 00:25:36 |
He counted the stars and wondered |
| 00:25:41 |
it would take his letter |
| 00:25:51 |
Vera was not impressed... |
| 00:25:56 |
Aaaarrgh! |
| 00:25:57 |
..not impressed at all. |
| 00:26:01 |
This nutcase would not be |
| 00:26:07 |
There was enough ugliness in the world. |
| 00:26:10 |
Mary would be home from school |
| 00:26:12 |
enough time for another cup of tea |
| 00:26:17 |
and dissolve the memory of Max's letter |
| 00:26:22 |
Yeah, he's out. |
| 00:26:58 |
Stop! Wait! |
| 00:27:01 |
Hey. fellas, you got room |
| 00:27:06 |
Sure, Mrs Dinkle. Hop in! |
| 00:27:10 |
Good one. Kevin! |
| 00:27:12 |
Aaaarghhh! |
| 00:27:19 |
Come on, Vera. |
| 00:27:29 |
Ooh. Hmm. |
| 00:27:37 |
Mary, is that all the rubbish? |
| 00:27:40 |
Yep! |
| 00:27:42 |
See ya, Toots! |
| 00:27:45 |
Sweet baby Jesus. |
| 00:27:56 |
Ooooah! |
| 00:28:01 |
Even though Max's letter smelt |
| 00:28:06 |
Mary drank his words |
| 00:28:10 |
and hadn't been this excited |
| 00:28:13 |
since Grandpoppy Ralph |
| 00:28:18 |
She wrote back immediately |
| 00:28:20 |
on some butchers' paper |
| 00:28:24 |
Dear Max, |
| 00:28:29 |
l don't think my parents like you |
| 00:28:33 |
send stuff to my neighbour Len Hislop |
| 00:28:36 |
at 26 Lamington Drive, |
| 00:28:41 |
He's old with no legs. |
| 00:28:44 |
They got chew'd'ed off |
| 00:28:47 |
when some Japanese peoples |
| 00:28:53 |
Piranhas are goldfish that have teeth. |
| 00:28:58 |
He's scared of outside, |
| 00:29:06 |
He's started giving me 50 cents a week |
| 00:29:11 |
l'm saving to buy a castle in Scotland |
| 00:29:17 |
Do you get 'The Noblets' in America? |
| 00:29:20 |
Well, my favourite Noblet |
| 00:29:24 |
He wants to be everyone's friend, |
| 00:29:30 |
ln your letter, you said |
| 00:29:34 |
Well, neither do l. |
| 00:29:36 |
A-ha! |
| 00:29:39 |
Yesterday at school, Bernie Clifford |
| 00:29:43 |
and called me 'poo face' |
| 00:29:47 |
l wish l could peel it off like a bandaid. |
| 00:29:50 |
He also laughed |
| 00:29:53 |
Ethel pecked them off |
| 00:29:56 |
and Mum couldn't thread a needle |
| 00:30:00 |
so she used pegs instead. |
| 00:30:05 |
When l got home, l climbed into |
| 00:30:12 |
The other kids also laugh at my haircut. |
| 00:30:14 |
Dad has to cut my hair |
| 00:30:17 |
real hairdressers |
| 00:30:20 |
who stuff mattresses. |
| 00:30:24 |
My teacher, Mrs Pendergast, |
| 00:30:28 |
l told my mum |
| 00:30:36 |
l don't think Mrs Pendergast |
| 00:30:45 |
l better go now. |
| 00:30:50 |
Your friend in Australia, |
| 00:30:55 |
PS. Have you ever been teased? |
| 00:31:03 |
PSS. l've never been hang gliding |
| 00:31:09 |
but would love a frisbee |
| 00:31:14 |
PSSS. l'm sending you some |
| 00:31:22 |
and a cake called a lamington, |
| 00:31:52 |
Have you ever been teased? |
| 00:31:56 |
Ooooooooooaaaahhhh! |
| 00:31:58 |
Mary's letter |
| 00:32:00 |
Max had buried deep down in his shoes. |
| 00:32:04 |
We've got him cornered now. |
| 00:32:09 |
Take this, Jew-boy, Jew-boy, Jew-boy. |
| 00:32:16 |
And as usual, |
| 00:32:31 |
And 36 chocolate hotdogs later... |
| 00:32:35 |
..and after only two hours sleep, |
| 00:32:39 |
Max's meltdown faded away |
| 00:32:48 |
Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle, |
| 00:32:51 |
thank you for your letter, chocolate bar, |
| 00:32:57 |
The chocolate got crushed, so l blended |
| 00:33:01 |
and now l am drinking it right now. |
| 00:33:07 |
After much thought, l think |
| 00:33:11 |
Tell Bernie Clifford |
| 00:33:16 |
which means when you get to heaven |
| 00:33:19 |
you will be in charge |
| 00:33:22 |
This of course is a lie |
| 00:33:26 |
but in this case |
| 00:33:30 |
l wish l could be in charge |
| 00:33:34 |
but, of course, l cannot |
| 00:33:41 |
My neighbour lvy is also an atheist. |
| 00:33:43 |
She doesn't talk much but makes me |
| 00:33:50 |
She is partly blind |
| 00:33:52 |
and sometimes l find her hair |
| 00:33:57 |
l do not tell her as Dr Bernard Hazelhof |
| 00:34:04 |
Here is a list of what l eat |
| 00:34:08 |
Mondays - Glicks Potato Knish, |
| 00:34:10 |
Tuesdays - Yiddels Noodle Kugel, |
| 00:34:13 |
Wednesdays - |
| 00:34:17 |
Thursdays - Yentls Cheezy Blintz |
| 00:34:19 |
and Fridays - chicken nuggets. |
| 00:34:23 |
On Saturday nights |
| 00:34:27 |
Last week l invented |
| 00:34:31 |
Recipes are like |
| 00:34:34 |
Dr Bernard Hazelhof told me you should |
| 00:34:41 |
and to never eat |
| 00:34:46 |
l once ate a watermelon |
| 00:34:50 |
but not all at once. |
| 00:34:53 |
Do you have |
| 00:34:57 |
My Overeaters Anonymous meetings |
| 00:35:00 |
and just make me tense. |
| 00:35:10 |
lt would be good |
| 00:35:15 |
She would be a bit like the Tooth Fairy |
| 00:35:25 |
lvy says she is only a 'little bit' blind |
| 00:35:31 |
She should get a cane |
| 00:35:35 |
She could make the end pointy |
| 00:35:38 |
and collect rubbish at the same time. |
| 00:35:42 |
l think l will write a letter to the Mayor |
| 00:35:46 |
He will be very impressed. |
| 00:35:49 |
lvy says she doesn't need a cane |
| 00:35:57 |
She says she could find me |
| 00:36:02 |
She says l smell like liquorice |
| 00:36:10 |
l think she smells like cough medicine |
| 00:36:16 |
l have never told her this |
| 00:36:18 |
as Dr Bernard Hazelhof said |
| 00:36:27 |
People often think |
| 00:36:33 |
l cannot understand |
| 00:36:40 |
Maybe this is why |
| 00:36:45 |
of course except for you. |
| 00:36:48 |
A real friend has been |
| 00:36:54 |
The other two are to own every Noblet |
| 00:37:02 |
Dr Bernard Hazelhof says |
| 00:37:07 |
but not stupid ones like mine. |
| 00:37:12 |
l have now run out of things to tell you. |
| 00:37:17 |
Please, write soon. |
| 00:37:19 |
Your friend in America, |
| 00:37:25 |
PS. Do not worry about not smiling. |
| 00:37:30 |
My mouth hardly ever smiles |
| 00:37:32 |
but it does not mean |
| 00:37:39 |
PPS. Please find enclosed a frisbee, |
| 00:37:44 |
some Chocolate Pop Rocks, |
| 00:37:47 |
and an illustration of a turtle |
| 00:37:53 |
PPPS. Did you know that turtles |
| 00:38:03 |
Dear Max, |
| 00:38:05 |
when l told Bernie Clifford |
| 00:38:07 |
l'll be in charge of all the chocolate |
| 00:38:11 |
he cried. |
| 00:38:14 |
l also hide'd some dog's poo |
| 00:38:19 |
Your advice was great |
| 00:38:24 |
so l can save to come and see you. |
| 00:38:27 |
l am sad to hear you are fat. |
| 00:38:29 |
Mum says l am fat too |
| 00:38:34 |
which l think is a type of cow. |
| 00:38:37 |
Maybe you should only eat things |
| 00:38:42 |
On Mondays you could only eat |
| 00:38:44 |
milkshakes, marshmallows |
| 00:38:50 |
Oooh! |
| 00:38:55 |
For my birthday, my Mum baked a cake |
| 00:39:02 |
l hope you like the photos l sent. |
| 00:39:05 |
The first one is of Ethel, |
| 00:39:08 |
The next one is one of myself |
| 00:39:11 |
after l ate the Chocolate Pop Rocks |
| 00:39:16 |
Next is Len. |
| 00:39:18 |
He's still trying hard not to be afraid of outside |
| 00:39:28 |
The next one is of dad in his shed, |
| 00:39:32 |
and then one of the times |
| 00:39:35 |
while she was asleep in her stickers |
| 00:39:39 |
Next, when l got my slinky |
| 00:39:44 |
Then one of the times |
| 00:39:48 |
And, finally, a photo of my other neighbour |
| 00:39:55 |
He's a Greek and smells like |
| 00:39:59 |
and his skin is smooth, |
| 00:40:05 |
Mum says he's a wog and has a stutter |
| 00:40:13 |
She says you have to hit him |
| 00:40:16 |
to get his words out. |
| 00:40:18 |
P-P-P-P...Popodopolous. |
| 00:40:20 |
l wish he was my boyfriend |
| 00:40:24 |
like Katherine Ramsay told me |
| 00:40:27 |
She said it's when two people go 'nuddy' |
| 00:40:30 |
and rub on each other to make babies. |
| 00:40:34 |
l told her she's a liar |
| 00:40:39 |
'cos babies really come |
| 00:40:41 |
and eggs laid by rabbits |
| 00:40:46 |
She said ladies get knocked up |
| 00:40:48 |
and bake babies in their stomachs |
| 00:40:51 |
till they spurt out their 'vag-eye-ners' |
| 00:40:56 |
Have you got a girlfriend, Max, |
| 00:40:59 |
Have you done sexing? |
| 00:41:02 |
Valentine's Day is soon |
| 00:41:03 |
and l want to give Damian a present |
| 00:41:08 |
Can you explain love |
| 00:41:14 |
Once again, Mary's letter |
| 00:41:19 |
Max knew nothing about love. |
| 00:41:21 |
lt was as foreign to him as scuba diving |
| 00:41:25 |
and he'd had an appalling history |
| 00:41:30 |
One Valentine's Day |
| 00:41:32 |
he'd given Zelda Glutnik a gift |
| 00:41:43 |
The only companion |
| 00:41:47 |
was his hot water bottle. |
| 00:41:50 |
Romance and love |
| 00:41:52 |
was a mysterious language |
| 00:41:56 |
lf only Mary had asked |
| 00:41:59 |
or asked for an explanation |
| 00:42:02 |
lf only there was |
| 00:42:08 |
He kept eating and thinking. |
| 00:42:27 |
But love was not like Max's Rubik's Cube. |
| 00:42:33 |
No matter how he analysed it, |
| 00:42:37 |
Beat it, creep! |
| 00:42:39 |
He felt love but couldn't articulate it. |
| 00:42:43 |
lts logic was as foreign to him as... |
| 00:42:49 |
The stars made more sense. |
| 00:42:59 |
12, have you responded |
| 00:43:02 |
The anxiety and stress were too much. |
| 00:43:05 |
The inscrutability of love finally won, |
| 00:43:21 |
He was diagnosed |
| 00:43:24 |
and spent the next 8 months |
| 00:43:30 |
They marinated him |
| 00:43:33 |
and performed |
| 00:43:42 |
Meanwhile, Mary wondered and waited. |
| 00:43:48 |
Maybe Max's typewriter |
| 00:43:51 |
Maybe America had run out of ink. |
| 00:43:55 |
Maybe his pets had eaten him. |
| 00:43:59 |
Maybe it was her. |
| 00:44:01 |
Was she too demanding, |
| 00:44:14 |
Filled with anger, confusion |
| 00:44:18 |
Mary tried to erase |
| 00:45:12 |
Max had recovered. |
| 00:45:13 |
And life was balanced, safe |
| 00:45:21 |
But Mary still lingered in his mind. |
| 00:45:26 |
Half of him wanted to write to her immediately. |
| 00:45:28 |
The other half didn't want to end up |
| 00:45:33 |
At least there was always Mr Ravioli |
| 00:45:38 |
He was a much safer option. |
| 00:45:42 |
He wondered what Mary was doing |
| 00:45:47 |
But she was far from content |
| 00:45:50 |
and struggled on by herself, |
| 00:46:03 |
Life went on as usual for Max |
| 00:46:06 |
and even though he opted |
| 00:46:09 |
misfortune was never far away. |
| 00:46:42 |
Luckily, his manslaughter charges |
| 00:46:46 |
because he was labelled |
| 00:46:49 |
and unlikely to have a motive |
| 00:46:53 |
Oop. |
| 00:46:55 |
..unlike most people. |
| 00:46:58 |
From then on, |
| 00:47:02 |
and things went back to normal |
| 00:47:04 |
until after his 48th birthday, |
| 00:47:10 |
Welcome |
| 00:47:12 |
and these are tonight's |
| 00:47:15 |
3, 5, |
| 00:47:18 |
6, 9, |
| 00:47:24 |
11 and 12! |
| 00:48:12 |
Max was sensible |
| 00:48:14 |
and had bought a lifetime supply |
| 00:48:17 |
and the complete Noblet collection. |
| 00:48:24 |
Two of his life goals had come true. |
| 00:48:28 |
But he still had a lot of money |
| 00:48:31 |
so decided to give it to lvy... |
| 00:48:34 |
..who was also very sensible... |
| 00:49:11 |
..until her own numbers came up. |
| 00:49:24 |
lvy willed everything |
| 00:49:28 |
whose owner relocated |
| 00:49:33 |
his wife's new breasts, a Ferrari |
| 00:49:47 |
Despite achieving all his life's goals, |
| 00:49:51 |
Max still felt incomplete. |
| 00:49:56 |
Mr Ravioli just wasn't |
| 00:49:59 |
and seemed more interested |
| 00:50:05 |
Mary had given Max |
| 00:50:08 |
and there was just no comparison. |
| 00:50:12 |
She missed him too |
| 00:50:14 |
but no longer saved to see him. |
| 00:50:19 |
She now saved |
| 00:50:32 |
One day Mr Ravioli got up, |
| 00:50:42 |
Max sought Dr Hazelhof's advice. |
| 00:50:47 |
He told Max that true friendship |
| 00:50:52 |
not through the eyes, |
| 00:50:54 |
and that it was time he wrote to Mary |
| 00:51:02 |
Max understood. |
| 00:51:22 |
Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle, |
| 00:51:25 |
there is something l have to tell you |
| 00:51:28 |
which will explain |
| 00:51:32 |
Each time l received one of your letters, |
| 00:51:38 |
This is because recently, |
| 00:51:43 |
they diagnosed that l have a new thing |
| 00:51:50 |
which is a neurobiological, |
| 00:51:57 |
l prefer 'Aspie' for short. |
| 00:52:01 |
l will now list some of the traits |
| 00:52:08 |
No.1 - l find the world |
| 00:52:13 |
because my mind |
| 00:52:21 |
2 - l have trouble understanding |
| 00:52:28 |
When l was younger, l made a book |
| 00:52:39 |
l still have trouble with some people. |
| 00:52:42 |
lvy was hard to understand |
| 00:52:46 |
and because her eyebrows weren't real. |
| 00:52:51 |
3 - l have bad handwriting, |
| 00:52:53 |
am hypersensitive... |
| 00:52:56 |
..clumsy |
| 00:52:59 |
and can get very concerned. |
| 00:53:06 |
4 - l like solving problems. |
| 00:53:16 |
And finally No.5 - |
| 00:53:22 |
Dr Bernard Hazelhof says |
| 00:53:27 |
but one day there will be a cure |
| 00:53:32 |
l do not like it when he says this. |
| 00:53:35 |
l do not feel disabled, defective |
| 00:53:40 |
l like being an Aspie. |
| 00:53:43 |
lt would be like trying to change |
| 00:53:49 |
There is one thing |
| 00:53:55 |
l wish l could cry properly. |
| 00:54:00 |
l squeeze and squeeze |
| 00:54:06 |
l cry when l cut onions |
| 00:54:09 |
Anyway, do you like the word |
| 00:54:12 |
lt is a type of fruit. |
| 00:54:14 |
Do you have |
| 00:54:17 |
My top 5 are ointment, bumblebee, |
| 00:54:21 |
Vladivostok, banana |
| 00:54:24 |
and testicle. |
| 00:54:28 |
l have also invented some new words |
| 00:54:32 |
'confuzzled', which is being confused |
| 00:54:40 |
'snirt', which is a cross between |
| 00:54:45 |
and 'smushables' ... |
| 00:54:47 |
..which are squashed groceries |
| 00:54:53 |
l have sent a letter |
| 00:54:57 |
asking them to include my words |
| 00:55:00 |
but l have not heard back. |
| 00:55:04 |
lt is now time for me to go |
| 00:55:08 |
There is a woman there |
| 00:55:12 |
who confuzzles me. |
| 00:55:14 |
She kisses me without my permission |
| 00:55:18 |
so tonight l have decided to rub onions |
| 00:55:25 |
Your friend in America, |
| 00:55:35 |
PS. Please find enclosed |
| 00:55:37 |
some chocolate-covered ants |
| 00:55:42 |
PPS. Not much has happened |
| 00:55:46 |
except for my manslaughter charges, |
| 00:55:56 |
Mary was thrilled |
| 00:56:00 |
and suddenly had a fabulous idea. |
| 00:56:03 |
A-ha! |
| 00:56:38 |
Mary and Max's friendship |
| 00:56:42 |
and her tears were the best gift |
| 00:56:48 |
lnside Max's head |
| 00:56:54 |
Loaded up with bizarre forms |
| 00:56:56 |
their letters flew thick and fast |
| 00:57:01 |
Max learnt to read Mary's letters |
| 00:57:04 |
and at the slightest tingle of tension, |
| 00:57:08 |
take his medication |
| 00:57:12 |
Each letter he would iron, laminate |
| 00:57:18 |
which also soothed his nerves. |
| 00:57:26 |
He enjoyed answering her questions |
| 00:57:30 |
Do sheep shrink when it rains? |
| 00:57:33 |
Why do old men |
| 00:57:37 |
Do gooses get goosebumps |
| 00:57:43 |
Are there Noblets in heaven? |
| 00:57:44 |
And if a taxi goes backwards, |
| 00:57:49 |
ln turn, Mary simply enjoyed |
| 00:57:55 |
how many people |
| 00:58:03 |
..how the latest Henry had died... |
| 00:58:15 |
..and new recipes he'd invented |
| 00:58:22 |
Each nourished the other |
| 00:58:24 |
and, as Mary grew taller, |
| 00:58:27 |
Max grew wider |
| 00:58:29 |
their friendship becoming stronger |
| 00:58:39 |
Although Max found solace in Mary, |
| 00:58:42 |
he still found the rest of the world bewildering. |
| 00:58:45 |
And he couldn't understand |
| 00:58:47 |
why he was seen as the odd one |
| 00:58:50 |
while everyone else |
| 00:58:55 |
Humans were endlessly illogical. |
| 00:58:59 |
Why did they throw out food when |
| 00:59:04 |
Why did they clear the rainforests |
| 00:59:09 |
And why did they create bus timetables |
| 00:59:16 |
He agreed with his favourite physicist |
| 00:59:23 |
the universe and man's stupidity. |
| 00:59:28 |
And for Mary, even though |
| 00:59:34 |
Bullseye! |
| 00:59:35 |
..her world was far from perfect. |
| 00:59:39 |
The grip of love had her by the throat. |
| 01:00:03 |
At 4:59pm, on the 8th of the 8th, 1988... |
| 01:00:11 |
..Noel Norman Dinkle |
| 01:00:15 |
and, after 40 years |
| 01:00:22 |
To celebrate, Noel announced |
| 01:00:27 |
and taking up metal detecting instead. |
| 01:00:31 |
But, sadly, it was not a hobby |
| 01:01:12 |
ln his will, Noel had left Mary |
| 01:01:15 |
so she decided to go to university |
| 01:01:20 |
yearning to learn more about her friend. |
| 01:01:24 |
Mary was as popular at university |
| 01:01:30 |
Damian went there too, |
| 01:01:34 |
Hi there, M-M-Mary. |
| 01:01:37 |
Hi...hello! |
| 01:01:50 |
That was damn f-f-funny! |
| 01:02:24 |
Hey, Damian, |
| 01:02:30 |
Oh, th-th-th-thanks, Mary. |
| 01:02:32 |
Um. M-Mary, |
| 01:02:35 |
Sure, babe! |
| 01:02:37 |
Um, um, you've got d-d-d-d-dog's poo |
| 01:02:54 |
Dear Max, |
| 01:02:56 |
l have been such an idiot. |
| 01:02:58 |
l've wasted all my money |
| 01:03:01 |
when l should have been saving |
| 01:03:04 |
l know love upsets you |
| 01:03:08 |
All l want to say is that love |
| 01:03:12 |
l hope you are well and enjoy |
| 01:03:17 |
Love Mary. |
| 01:03:33 |
Oh, you should be ashamed! |
| 01:03:35 |
- Come on, baby. Let's go. |
| 01:03:38 |
l told you never to talk to strangers. |
| 01:03:50 |
Noel's sudden death |
| 01:03:55 |
and she coped |
| 01:05:36 |
Dear Max, |
| 01:05:37 |
our wedding day was everything |
| 01:05:41 |
making up for the terrible year l've had. |
| 01:05:46 |
Although all the guests |
| 01:05:49 |
l felt very welcome. |
| 01:05:55 |
Damian is so perfect. |
| 01:06:00 |
And for our honeymoon |
| 01:06:01 |
he took me to Mykonos |
| 01:06:05 |
l got to ride a donkey |
| 01:06:06 |
and found the perfect gift for Len. |
| 01:06:10 |
Poor Len, he's still struggling |
| 01:06:15 |
Aaaaahhhh! |
| 01:06:22 |
Damian and l are so similar. |
| 01:06:25 |
He even has his own penfriend, |
| 01:06:33 |
Mary...M-M-M-Mary. |
| 01:06:35 |
Mary...M-M-M-Mary. |
| 01:06:38 |
Ohhh. |
| 01:06:41 |
Mary was bursting with self-esteem |
| 01:06:45 |
and her confidence |
| 01:06:50 |
At university, she shone |
| 01:06:53 |
and took it upon herself |
| 01:07:05 |
She did her thesis |
| 01:07:08 |
and used Max as her case study. |
| 01:07:13 |
Her professors |
| 01:07:15 |
and her writing praised far and wide. |
| 01:07:19 |
Soon, publishers queued |
| 01:07:23 |
and by her 25th birthday, thousands |
| 01:07:30 |
Dear Max, |
| 01:07:32 |
l am very proud to give you |
| 01:07:34 |
the very first copy of my book |
| 01:07:37 |
and the hopes that we have |
| 01:07:43 |
Even more exciting |
| 01:07:44 |
is that l am finally coming to meet |
| 01:07:50 |
l'm also going to give you |
| 01:07:53 |
Your loving friend, Mary. |
| 01:07:56 |
PS. Please find enclosed |
| 01:08:06 |
Max didn't take the news |
| 01:08:10 |
not very well at all. |
| 01:08:13 |
Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle, |
| 01:08:16 |
l cannot express myself |
| 01:08:22 |
and so l will list my emotions |
| 01:08:28 |
hurt, confuzzledness, betrayal, discomfort, |
| 01:08:36 |
This last one is not really an emotion |
| 01:08:39 |
but l thought you should know about it anyway. |
| 01:09:13 |
With her suitcase packed for New York, |
| 01:09:19 |
She hadn't been this excited since |
| 01:09:26 |
But her excitement |
| 01:09:31 |
like a chocolate in the sun. |
| 01:10:45 |
Mary slowly sank |
| 01:10:50 |
and cooking sherry. |
| 01:10:52 |
The only colour left in her life |
| 01:10:58 |
only an arm's length away |
| 01:11:09 |
She lost interest in the world |
| 01:11:14 |
as a horrible apparition began to haunt. |
| 01:11:19 |
She started to spend her nights |
| 01:11:24 |
and eating two-minute noodles. |
| 01:12:30 |
Each day, with strength and shame, |
| 01:12:34 |
Mary trudged to the letterbox in hope, |
| 01:12:38 |
only to swivel, shrivel |
| 01:13:37 |
My dearest Mary, |
| 01:13:39 |
by the time you read this, |
| 01:13:42 |
to begin a new life. |
| 01:13:45 |
You probably haven't even noticed |
| 01:13:49 |
I have fallen in love |
| 01:13:54 |
and I'm going to live |
| 01:13:59 |
lt's been hard to watch you become |
| 01:14:02 |
Your research into m-m-mental illness |
| 01:14:05 |
but your i-idealistic pursuit to remedy it |
| 01:14:11 |
Mary, you have to realise y-you are not |
| 01:14:14 |
you can smooth on the world |
| 01:14:18 |
l love you, Mary, |
| 01:14:20 |
but l love Desmond more. |
| 01:14:23 |
l hope one day your heart will heal |
| 01:14:27 |
Yours compassionately, |
| 01:14:53 |
Aaaarghh! |
| 01:14:56 |
Dear Mayor Ridiculani, |
| 01:14:58 |
on Monday l counted 27 people |
| 01:15:06 |
l would like to recommend |
| 01:15:09 |
to a minimum of $1 million |
| 01:15:14 |
and would be happy... |
| 01:15:51 |
Thank you. |
| 01:16:37 |
Sorry. |
| 01:16:59 |
Dear Mary, |
| 01:17:02 |
please find enclosed |
| 01:17:06 |
as a sign that l forgive you. |
| 01:17:10 |
When l received your book, |
| 01:18:11 |
On the way home, |
| 01:18:16 |
He felt complete |
| 01:18:18 |
the world was back in balance. |
| 01:19:43 |
" When l was just a little girl |
| 01:19:49 |
" l asked my mother, what will l be? |
| 01:19:56 |
" Will l be pretty, will l be rich? |
| 01:20:02 |
" Here's what she said to me... |
| 01:20:07 |
" Que sera sera |
| 01:20:13 |
" Whatever will be will be |
| 01:20:18 |
" The future's not ours to see |
| 01:20:23 |
" Que sera sera |
| 01:20:54 |
" Que sera sera |
| 01:20:59 |
" Whatever will be will be |
| 01:21:05 |
" The future's not ours to see |
| 01:21:10 |
" Que sera sera |
| 01:21:16 |
" What will be will be |
| 01:21:22 |
" Que sera sera " |
| 01:21:48 |
Ah! |
| 01:21:50 |
Len had saved the day |
| 01:21:54 |
he finally conquered his agoraphobia. |
| 01:22:03 |
Moron! |
| 01:22:14 |
Dear Mary, |
| 01:22:16 |
please find enclosed |
| 01:22:20 |
as a sign that l forgive you. |
| 01:22:25 |
When l received your book, |
| 01:22:28 |
felt like they were in a tumble dryer, |
| 01:22:35 |
The hurt felt like when l accidentally |
| 01:22:39 |
Ow! |
| 01:22:41 |
The reason l forgive you |
| 01:22:47 |
You are imperfect, and so am l. |
| 01:22:51 |
All humans are imperfect, |
| 01:22:54 |
even the man outside my apartment |
| 01:22:58 |
When l was young, |
| 01:23:04 |
Dr Bernard Hazelhof said |
| 01:23:08 |
then l would have to get used |
| 01:23:12 |
just me and the coconuts. |
| 01:23:15 |
He said l would have to accept myself, |
| 01:23:22 |
and that we don't get to choose |
| 01:23:25 |
They are a part of us |
| 01:23:31 |
We can, however, choose our friends |
| 01:23:35 |
and l am glad l have chosen you. |
| 01:23:40 |
Dr Bernard Hazelhof also said |
| 01:23:43 |
that everyone's lives |
| 01:23:48 |
Some are well paved. |
| 01:23:52 |
have cracks, banana skins |
| 01:23:58 |
Your sidewalk is like mine |
| 01:24:05 |
Hopefully, one day |
| 01:24:09 |
and we can share |
| 01:24:17 |
You are my best friend. |
| 01:24:23 |
Your American penpal, |
| 01:24:30 |
PS. l have recently found the perfect job |
| 01:24:35 |
All l have to do is eat things |
| 01:26:01 |
Max? |
| 01:26:17 |
Hello? |
| 01:26:23 |
Max, it's us! |
| 01:26:26 |
We're here! |
| 01:26:30 |
Oh, Max? |
| 01:26:39 |
Max had died peacefully |
| 01:26:44 |
after finishing his final can |
| 01:28:00 |
You are my best friend. |
| 01:28:11 |
He smelt like liquorice |
| 01:28:17 |
as tears rolled from her eyes |
| 01:28:20 |
the colour of muddy puddles. |
