Men in Black II
|
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Mysteries in History, |
00:00:29 |
Although no one has ever been able |
00:00:34 |
...a quasi-government agency, |
00:00:37 |
...supposedly carries out operations |
00:00:40 |
...in order to keep us safe from aliens |
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Here is one of their stories |
00:00:48 |
...from one of their files |
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1978. The leaders of Zartha |
00:00:57 |
...in order to escape the clutches |
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Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring |
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The Light of Zartha, |
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...that in the wrong hands it could |
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The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna, |
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...to hide the Light from Serleena. |
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But they had no choice. |
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Intervention would have meant |
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However, in an act of galactic bravery, |
00:01:35 |
...allowing the Zarthans to escape... |
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...so they might hide the Light |
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Serleena, released from her captors, |
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...and that she would destroy |
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And so, never knowing what happened... |
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...the people of Earth were saved |
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...known as the Men in Black. |
00:03:44 |
Harvey! |
00:03:47 |
Harvey, get over here! |
00:03:50 |
Harvey. Heel, heel! |
00:03:52 |
You're barking at the moon, moron. |
00:03:55 |
Harvey. Harvey! |
00:05:58 |
Hey, pretty lady. |
00:06:01 |
You taste good. |
00:06:07 |
Hey, what the--? |
00:06:13 |
Yeah, you too. |
00:07:04 |
Nothing fancy, no heroics. |
00:07:07 |
Got it. Hey! |
00:07:10 |
Hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy? |
00:07:12 |
-We were wondering why you're here. |
00:07:16 |
You know our arrangements. |
00:07:21 |
...and you get all the garbage |
00:07:23 |
What the hell are you doing here, |
00:07:26 |
Tee. |
00:07:28 |
Jeff.... |
00:07:29 |
Excuse my partner. |
00:07:33 |
...kind of stupid. |
00:07:45 |
You getting big, Jeff. |
00:07:53 |
You like jokes, huh? |
00:07:57 |
Jeffrey! |
00:08:06 |
All right. |
00:08:08 |
Sweet dreams, big boy. |
00:08:45 |
Sweet dreams... |
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...big boy. |
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Transit authority. |
00:08:56 |
We got a bug in the electrical system. |
00:09:01 |
People! We got a bug |
00:09:10 |
Now y'all running? |
00:09:11 |
No, no, no! Sit down! |
00:09:13 |
It's only a 600-foot worm. |
00:09:19 |
-Everybody out. |
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I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater. |
00:09:26 |
You decide? |
00:09:29 |
Larry? That's my man, Jeff. |
00:09:35 |
-Larry just made a decision. |
00:09:46 |
Don't make me do this, Jeff! |
00:10:15 |
Eighty-first Street. |
00:10:21 |
Just a second. |
00:10:23 |
May I have your attention, please? |
00:10:26 |
We thank you |
00:10:29 |
Had this been an emergency, |
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Because you don't listen. |
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How a man gonna bash through--? |
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"We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm! |
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I ask you nice, "Move to the next car." |
00:10:50 |
Thank you for participating. |
00:10:52 |
Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller, |
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Watch your step. |
00:11:03 |
I need a cleanup crew |
00:11:06 |
Revoke Jeff's movement privileges. |
00:11:09 |
Have him escorted |
00:11:12 |
And please check the expiration date |
00:11:21 |
Sorry, fellas. Station closed. |
00:11:23 |
-Emergency drill. For your safety. |
00:11:29 |
You're welcome. |
00:11:44 |
I know, by the book. |
00:11:47 |
Tee, when was the last time |
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This is a test. I can do this. |
00:11:57 |
Ever feel like you're alone |
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Yes. |
00:12:03 |
No. |
00:12:07 |
-Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie. |
00:12:11 |
Thanks. |
00:12:13 |
Hey, you're not alone |
00:12:16 |
-Remove the arm. |
00:12:19 |
Please, shut up, Charlie. |
00:12:19 |
Please, shut up, Charlie. |
00:12:24 |
I'm tired of you constantly talking |
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You meet a girl. She's into it. |
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"Wanna come back to my place for some |
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-Who are you and how'd you get in here? |
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Serleena! |
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Why didn't you say it was you? |
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-Where's the Light? |
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You're looking for this Light. |
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You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill. |
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Where is the Light? |
00:13:07 |
We couldn't find it, but we found |
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He runs a pizza parlor |
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Let's go. And wipe your nose, idiot. |
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-Good pie. |
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Crowded. |
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Well, they got good pie. |
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What is wrong with you? |
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-You're gonna neuralyze me. |
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You took me here |
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You making a scene. |
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Let me ask you a question. |
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Six years in the Marines. |
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You like being a hero? |
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-You ever heard of James Edwards? |
00:14:04 |
Well, he saved the lives of 85 people |
00:14:08 |
No one knows he exists. |
00:14:10 |
And if no one knows he exists, |
00:14:19 |
Hey, how long we been partners? |
00:14:21 |
-Feb 1 . |
00:14:24 |
-Started at noon. |
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Get married. Have a bunch of kids. |
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Okay. |
00:14:41 |
Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy, |
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Here it is. |
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I don't know what to say. |
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Years from now, |
00:15:00 |
-"Employee" is misspelled? |
00:15:03 |
They'll say, "lmagine that. Big shot |
00:15:07 |
-Ben-- |
00:15:09 |
Bring up a case of Mountain Dew |
00:15:15 |
Hey, Bruno. |
00:15:18 |
Two slices of pepperoni and |
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-Whoever you are, don't hurt me. |
00:15:26 |
I don't know what you're talking about. |
00:15:30 |
I want to report a robbery-- |
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There. |
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Noise. |
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Kitchen! |
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You idiots see anything? |
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Wind blew the door open. |
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Nothing out of the ordinary. |
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For 25 years, I've traveled |
00:16:01 |
But it never left Earth, did it? |
00:16:04 |
What are you talking about? |
00:16:06 |
I'm running out of time. |
00:16:09 |
-I don't know what you mean. |
00:16:12 |
You hid the Light on Earth. |
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Once we have the Light, |
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You're too late. |
00:16:21 |
...the Light will leave |
00:16:25 |
Sorry you made the trip for nothing. |
00:16:37 |
Now we don't know |
00:16:40 |
He said third planet. |
00:16:43 |
-Third Rock from the Sun. |
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It's on Earth, and I know |
00:17:16 |
-Don't you ever go home? |
00:17:18 |
I see you neuralyzed another partner. |
00:17:28 |
Bee, Dee, when you use |
00:17:31 |
...attach a de-atomizer |
00:17:34 |
Hey, get some booties on them things. |
00:17:42 |
Check his visa. |
00:17:44 |
The Cephalopods have been making |
00:17:48 |
And why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph |
00:17:54 |
That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry. |
00:17:58 |
-What the hell's that supposed to mean? |
00:18:05 |
Good work in the subway. |
00:18:07 |
-I remember Jeff when he was yea high. |
00:18:11 |
Look. See those guys in black suits? |
00:18:13 |
-They work here. We got it covered. |
00:18:16 |
Dedication's one thing, but this job |
00:18:21 |
You want to look like me |
00:18:25 |
...ish? |
00:18:27 |
I'll be in the gym if you need me. |
00:18:30 |
All right, there was a killing earlier. |
00:18:33 |
Alien-on-alien. |
00:18:35 |
Take Tee with you |
00:18:39 |
Tee. Right. |
00:18:39 |
Tee. Right. |
00:18:46 |
You have got to stop neuralyzing |
00:18:49 |
He was crying |
00:18:52 |
I hate that. |
00:18:54 |
And plus, you can't count Elle. |
00:18:56 |
She wanted to go back to the morgue. |
00:19:00 |
-You need a partner. |
00:19:03 |
I'll be his partner. |
00:19:06 |
Jay, wait up. |
00:19:09 |
-Thought I'd never get out. |
00:19:11 |
Sure thing. |
00:19:13 |
But if I say so myself, |
00:19:16 |
Not that I've had problems |
00:19:19 |
When you get down to-- |
00:19:21 |
Nice sled, very swank. |
00:19:23 |
Heated seats? Sometimes I get hives. |
00:19:46 |
Frank! |
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Bring your head in this window |
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Got it. |
00:20:00 |
Frank! |
00:20:03 |
My money? It's missionary. |
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I was in the Bowery, |
00:20:08 |
A little thick in the body, |
00:20:10 |
That's just not appealing to me, man. |
00:20:14 |
I say we do the good cop, |
00:20:16 |
You interrogate the witness |
00:20:19 |
How about we do the good cop, |
00:20:23 |
You got it, partner. |
00:20:26 |
Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me. |
00:20:30 |
What do we got? |
00:20:34 |
-What do we got? |
00:20:37 |
-We sent samples to Em for analysis. |
00:20:45 |
-Funny. |
00:20:47 |
Girl. Saw everything. |
00:20:50 |
She's taking it well. |
00:20:52 |
I won't answer any more questions. |
00:20:56 |
-I'll handle this one. |
00:20:59 |
Alone. A talking dog might be |
00:21:02 |
What do you want me to do? |
00:21:05 |
Sniff around. |
00:21:07 |
What? |
00:21:09 |
Funny. |
00:21:11 |
Take a deep breath. |
00:21:13 |
What part is she supposed |
00:21:20 |
I'm Agent Jay. |
00:21:21 |
Tell me what you saw. |
00:21:23 |
-A two-headed guy and a woman. |
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Gray, with tentacles |
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His skin off. |
00:21:30 |
It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer |
00:21:36 |
-What was the last thing you ate? |
00:21:38 |
-What time? |
00:21:40 |
-Spinach? |
00:21:43 |
You need pie. |
00:21:44 |
They kept asking Ben about a light. |
00:21:45 |
They kept asking Ben about a light. |
00:21:50 |
You okay? |
00:21:52 |
An hour ago, a man I've known |
00:21:56 |
...because of a woman |
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...and a two-headed guy |
00:22:01 |
So yeah, everything's okay. |
00:22:05 |
When we're kids, |
00:22:09 |
...our hearts tell us there is |
00:22:13 |
I know what I saw. |
00:22:23 |
I'm a member of a secret organization |
00:22:29 |
Ben was an alien. |
00:22:31 |
I don't know why they did it, |
00:22:36 |
Okay. |
00:22:39 |
-Okay? |
00:22:43 |
Okay. |
00:22:49 |
-I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to-- |
00:22:52 |
No! |
00:22:54 |
Just a little flash and everything |
00:22:58 |
After you flash me... |
00:23:02 |
...if I see you again, |
00:23:05 |
I'll see you. |
00:23:09 |
But you won't see me. |
00:23:11 |
Must be hard. |
00:23:13 |
Must be very lonely. |
00:23:31 |
Excuse me. |
00:23:33 |
-I gotta go. |
00:23:38 |
I'll flash you some other time. |
00:23:58 |
What? |
00:24:04 |
-Did you tell the girl you love her? |
00:24:10 |
You're attracted. She's not my species, |
00:24:14 |
I should take advice on love |
00:24:18 |
Easy, pal. That's canine profiling, |
00:24:39 |
Hey, Jay, wait up. |
00:24:41 |
Coming through. MiB brass. |
00:24:44 |
I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner. |
00:24:48 |
Frank, just cool out, dog. |
00:24:52 |
-Got kids? |
00:24:54 |
Want them? |
00:24:58 |
Get him off me! |
00:25:09 |
-Talk to me. |
00:25:11 |
Serleena. |
00:25:13 |
-Serleena. Old girlfriend? |
00:25:15 |
The perps were looking |
00:25:18 |
-Zartha. |
00:25:20 |
This makes no sense. |
00:25:22 |
-We took care of this a long time ago. |
00:25:26 |
That is very bad news. |
00:25:28 |
The Zarthans came to Earth |
00:25:32 |
-We don't do that. |
00:25:36 |
Well, Zed.... |
00:25:37 |
I got a Kylothian class C in my park. |
00:25:42 |
Positive. I gave the order. |
00:25:46 |
-lt's as if I gave it to you. |
00:25:49 |
-Can't. |
00:25:50 |
Sort of. He works at the post office. |
00:25:54 |
No. |
00:25:55 |
If Serleena gets to Kay before we do, |
00:25:58 |
The Earth's very existence |
00:26:01 |
Too bad you wiped out |
00:26:04 |
Bring him in. |
00:26:06 |
Now. |
00:26:07 |
How cool is this? Going to get Kay. |
00:26:11 |
The guy who taught you everything. |
00:26:14 |
-The greatest agent in MiB history! |
00:26:23 |
Stay. |
00:26:24 |
Listen, partner. |
00:26:27 |
...but I only play one here on Earth. |
00:26:30 |
-Whatever. Wipe your mouth. |
00:26:38 |
People of Truro, |
00:26:42 |
To facilitate your shipping needs... |
00:26:45 |
...all packages must be |
00:26:47 |
This one is an example of |
00:26:51 |
I think you know what I mean, |
00:26:54 |
Brown paper and triple-twist twine |
00:26:59 |
Thank you for your time. |
00:27:03 |
-Kay. |
00:27:07 |
Kevin. |
00:27:10 |
Kevin. That's funny. |
00:27:16 |
You don't remember. |
00:27:18 |
I never worked in a funeral home. |
00:27:23 |
Straight to the point. |
00:27:25 |
You were an agent of an organization |
00:27:29 |
We're the Men in Black. |
00:27:34 |
There is a free mental health clinic |
00:27:38 |
-Next. |
00:27:40 |
-Twenty Rugrats stamps. |
00:27:42 |
The Postal Service hasn't kept up |
00:27:47 |
...Berlin airlift stamps. |
00:27:50 |
American Samoa? |
00:27:53 |
I'm sorry, got a world to save here. |
00:27:57 |
There was no coma. |
00:27:59 |
-Who are you? |
00:28:01 |
The postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts, |
00:28:08 |
-ls that decaf? |
00:28:10 |
We have a breach. |
00:28:12 |
Full perimeter wipe-down, |
00:28:16 |
Get a mop and escort all civilian |
00:28:20 |
Listen to yourself, Kay. |
00:29:19 |
Why do you think you're |
00:29:24 |
Just about everybody who works |
00:29:35 |
No smoking. |
00:29:46 |
Kay. |
00:29:48 |
My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy |
00:29:51 |
You're nothing special. |
00:29:53 |
When you look at the stars, |
00:29:56 |
...like you don't know who you are. |
00:29:58 |
Like you know more about out there |
00:30:02 |
That's why she left you, Kay. |
00:30:09 |
Okay, I'll tell you what. |
00:30:11 |
You want to know who you really are, |
00:30:15 |
If not, people are waiting |
00:30:22 |
Think he'll bite? |
00:30:29 |
I'm just going for a ride. If things |
00:30:33 |
Hey, Kay. |
00:30:36 |
How's it hanging? |
00:30:53 |
Good to see you, Kay. |
00:30:55 |
Good to see you too, |
00:30:59 |
Well, let's see |
00:31:14 |
Welcome back, Agent Kay. |
00:31:17 |
Agent Kay. |
00:31:19 |
Greetings, Kay. |
00:31:23 |
Wow, look who's back. |
00:31:25 |
I don't mean to bother you-- |
00:31:28 |
-That's what they tell me. |
00:31:31 |
The most respected agent |
00:31:34 |
The most feared human in the universe. |
00:31:36 |
Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee? |
00:31:39 |
-Black, two sugars, if you're going. |
00:31:42 |
-Yeah, I'll take a-- My man? |
00:31:47 |
How'd it go? |
00:31:49 |
The Drolacks are gone |
00:31:52 |
Good work. |
00:31:53 |
What about that position you |
00:31:56 |
Still working on the alien |
00:32:00 |
That's not what you promised me. |
00:32:02 |
-You're breaking up. |
00:32:04 |
-I'll call you back. |
00:32:09 |
I think Earth might be in a bad way. |
00:32:14 |
-Well, neither rain, sleet, snow.... |
00:32:17 |
Get him armed and up to speed |
00:32:22 |
-Frank? |
00:32:23 |
I'm gonna need them together |
00:32:27 |
I need an assistant. It's not |
00:32:31 |
Dental? |
00:32:35 |
The most advanced technologies from |
00:32:37 |
The most advanced technologies from |
00:32:39 |
What's this? |
00:32:42 |
All is lost! All is lost! |
00:32:46 |
Don't touch that! |
00:32:48 |
I didn't do anything. |
00:32:50 |
Hands in your pockets. |
00:33:03 |
Your favorite weapon. |
00:33:08 |
-That? |
00:33:11 |
-Let's go put it on. |
00:33:13 |
The last suit you'll ever wear. |
00:33:15 |
Again. |
00:33:24 |
The deneuralyzer. |
00:33:27 |
Magneto-energy will surge |
00:33:30 |
...unlocking information that could |
00:33:35 |
Okay. What's that thing? |
00:33:39 |
The deneuralyzer. |
00:33:49 |
Welcome to planet Earth. |
00:33:53 |
Go out only at night. |
00:33:54 |
If you must go out during the daylight, |
00:34:03 |
Hey, hey, hey, hey! |
00:34:09 |
Name and planet of origin? |
00:34:12 |
Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn. |
00:34:17 |
-Any fruits or vegetables? |
00:34:21 |
Reason for visit? |
00:34:22 |
Education. I want to learn |
00:34:26 |
They told me I've got real potential. |
00:34:31 |
Help! Heart attack! |
00:34:34 |
Clear! |
00:34:37 |
Wake up, champ! |
00:34:44 |
-Oh, jeez. |
00:34:48 |
Lockdown. |
00:34:51 |
This is not good. This is not good. |
00:35:00 |
-Breach! We're being flushed. |
00:35:04 |
-Ever been to a water park? |
00:35:41 |
Flushed. |
00:35:44 |
Yeah, man, back when you was an agent, |
00:35:48 |
Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd |
00:35:53 |
I'd be like, "No." |
00:35:56 |
You can't quit on me. |
00:35:58 |
I save the world, you tell me |
00:36:01 |
Cool. |
00:36:05 |
-Hop in. |
00:36:13 |
Does that come standard? |
00:36:14 |
It came with a black dude, |
00:36:21 |
I could rule this place |
00:36:26 |
Trapped like rats... |
00:36:29 |
...in a Chia Pet. |
00:36:30 |
Computer, surveillance MiB. |
00:36:37 |
MiB's locked down. |
00:36:41 |
Computer, magnify. Times 10. |
00:36:46 |
Communicator. Frank. |
00:36:48 |
-Jay, where are you? |
00:36:51 |
-MiB's code 101. |
00:36:53 |
Some hot-looking biker chick. |
00:36:56 |
-Stay where you are. I'll be in touch. |
00:37:01 |
-Find Kay? |
00:37:03 |
-Not active. Civilian. |
00:37:05 |
-He was-- |
00:37:07 |
-To get-- |
00:37:08 |
-Memory's shot. But we'll find him. |
00:37:14 |
What? |
00:37:15 |
What do you make of that? |
00:37:18 |
-Yeah, a smile. |
00:37:21 |
Officially. The plans leaked out |
00:37:24 |
Computer, Internet. |
00:37:27 |
Deneuralyzer. |
00:37:33 |
Perfect. It's an old friend. |
00:37:42 |
Jay, ain't seen you in a while. |
00:37:44 |
Did you peep that drop-top thing |
00:37:47 |
My business is banging, dog. |
00:37:50 |
You gotta check out the website. |
00:37:54 |
Okay, whoa. He's retired, right? |
00:37:56 |
We need the deneuralyzer. |
00:37:58 |
-You're kidding. |
00:38:04 |
Do you remember me? |
00:38:07 |
Can't say I do. |
00:38:09 |
I think I'd remember that. |
00:38:12 |
The great Kay's a neutral. |
00:38:14 |
You're between me and my memories. |
00:38:19 |
No. |
00:38:21 |
Fresh out. |
00:38:24 |
Can't help you. |
00:38:28 |
Don't got it. |
00:38:38 |
Even if I did, if it doesn't work, |
00:38:42 |
If it does, I've brought back Kay, |
00:38:46 |
So, what's my incentive? |
00:38:49 |
Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs |
00:38:56 |
Alien prisoners released, |
00:39:00 |
Prisoners of MiB, |
00:39:03 |
Now it's the scum's turn. |
00:39:05 |
I'm in a jam, |
00:39:08 |
I need the Light of Zartha, |
00:39:12 |
Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth. |
00:39:14 |
Find a deneuralyzer. |
00:39:18 |
Check. |
00:39:20 |
Now. |
00:39:25 |
Jarra, good to see you. |
00:39:31 |
Okay, that should do it. |
00:39:33 |
If I could have your attention |
00:39:38 |
Keep your hands inside the vehicle. |
00:39:40 |
lf, during the ride, |
00:39:44 |
...there's nothing we can do about it. |
00:39:48 |
Have you removed all your jewelry? |
00:39:52 |
-Are you allergic to shellfish? |
00:39:54 |
Right, then! |
00:40:04 |
Have you used this? |
00:40:05 |
I used it to make some hot-air popcorn. |
00:40:09 |
Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n! |
00:41:07 |
Perfect. |
00:41:23 |
-You're back. |
00:41:25 |
-How'd you know his head grows back? |
00:41:30 |
Real nice. Okay, that's the last time |
00:41:37 |
-Kay, you remember anything? |
00:41:40 |
-Kay! |
00:41:42 |
I never got the updated software. |
00:41:46 |
Your brain needs to reboot. |
00:41:49 |
Give it a minute. |
00:41:50 |
Kay! |
00:41:52 |
Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. |
00:41:55 |
Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. |
00:41:57 |
All those years of loyalty and trust, |
00:42:04 |
Right over there! |
00:42:07 |
-Where's Kay? |
00:42:10 |
Kay's retired. I'm his |
00:42:13 |
Right in the pie hole. |
00:42:17 |
-Lower your weapon. |
00:42:25 |
Jay, how are you, boo-boo? |
00:42:28 |
-These guys really need Kay. |
00:42:31 |
-Tell me something we don't know. |
00:42:34 |
I am so sorry. |
00:42:36 |
-God bless you. |
00:42:40 |
If I don't bring Kay back to MiB, |
00:42:44 |
-Now, where is he? |
00:42:46 |
You don't look too good. |
00:42:49 |
Yeah, and you look like crap. |
00:42:54 |
I take that back. He look like crap. |
00:42:59 |
-Bend him! |
00:43:01 |
Wait, don't bend him. |
00:43:41 |
Damn decent of you. |
00:43:43 |
Don't mention it. |
00:44:06 |
-I'm gonna be sick. |
00:44:09 |
-Fellas, I think he's telling the truth. |
00:44:15 |
-Didn't I teach you anything, kid? |
00:44:21 |
Go for the mosh tendrils! |
00:44:26 |
Kay, he's a ball-chinnian. |
00:44:33 |
-You were in a tight spot. |
00:44:35 |
-You need a partner. |
00:44:38 |
I'm back. You got some dust |
00:44:41 |
So you got your memory back. |
00:44:43 |
-What the hell is going on? |
00:44:46 |
-The Light of Zartha? |
00:44:48 |
Cool. |
00:44:53 |
You don't remember |
00:44:55 |
Must've neuralyzed myself |
00:44:58 |
-Good plan. What you doing? |
00:45:01 |
-Wait, no. Whoa. |
00:45:04 |
What you remember is you used |
00:45:08 |
I drive the new hotness. |
00:45:11 |
Old and busted, new hotness. |
00:45:23 |
Old busted hotness. |
00:45:26 |
-Serleena, please. |
00:45:29 |
I'm just touched you remembered me. |
00:45:33 |
Never forget a pretty |
00:45:38 |
Zed? |
00:45:40 |
Zed? Look at you. |
00:45:42 |
Twenty-five years, |
00:45:45 |
Cut out the meat and dairy. |
00:45:47 |
And you, still a pile of squirmy |
00:45:51 |
So feisty. |
00:45:58 |
Bring him in. |
00:46:00 |
Don't think so. |
00:46:01 |
What about the Light's secret? |
00:46:05 |
...it self-destructs, |
00:46:09 |
I lose, you lose. |
00:46:13 |
You don't want the Light on Earth |
00:46:20 |
All right, Serleena. |
00:46:23 |
You win. |
00:46:26 |
Zed? Is that you? |
00:46:30 |
Zed. Hello? |
00:46:42 |
So feisty. |
00:46:49 |
Fastest way back to MiB, |
00:46:52 |
Right here. Right. |
00:46:56 |
Next right on 37th. |
00:46:58 |
Right here. Right! |
00:47:01 |
We're not going back. |
00:47:03 |
Headquarters has been breached, man. |
00:47:08 |
Not ready. |
00:47:10 |
Look, you've been out for five years. |
00:47:14 |
I understand you're scared. |
00:47:17 |
-I'm not scared. |
00:47:19 |
I just thought we was bonding. |
00:47:23 |
You're acting like a rookie. |
00:47:27 |
-No wonder Zed brought me back. |
00:47:31 |
Your attitude makes for |
00:47:34 |
Tell it to the hand. |
00:47:38 |
Exactly. Serleena broke into MiB |
00:47:43 |
Into a trap. |
00:47:45 |
Which is why we can't |
00:47:48 |
We need a plan. Where we going? |
00:47:51 |
-You're the boss. |
00:47:58 |
I'll contact the witness. |
00:48:01 |
Things have changed. |
00:48:05 |
See, originally, I'd-- |
00:48:08 |
No, I was going to-- |
00:48:13 |
-Then neuralyzed her? |
00:48:14 |
-Then neuralyzed her? |
00:48:14 |
MiB code 773ll-1 clearly states |
00:48:21 |
-Drop that weapon! |
00:48:23 |
Jay, I'm-- I'm sorry. |
00:48:24 |
No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault. |
00:48:28 |
Kay, my partner. |
00:48:30 |
Pleasure. |
00:48:33 |
Thanks for sending those agents over |
00:48:37 |
MiB procedural code 594-B... |
00:48:40 |
...states that MiB personnel |
00:48:43 |
Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here. |
00:48:48 |
Ben. |
00:48:50 |
-Was he 5'7", thinning hair? |
00:48:53 |
Nope. Never seen him before |
00:48:56 |
That is a hell of a fish. |
00:49:01 |
Wait a minute. |
00:49:08 |
You left yourself clues? |
00:49:09 |
In case I was deneuralyzed because |
00:49:14 |
If the joker that had got deneuralyzed |
00:49:18 |
Boys. |
00:49:22 |
All right. You pointing at something. |
00:49:29 |
Excuse me. |
00:49:32 |
The astronaut. |
00:49:35 |
Jay? |
00:49:37 |
Okay, all right. He's pointing.... |
00:49:39 |
He's like.... |
00:49:44 |
Who would stack boxes like this? |
00:49:46 |
A box stacker who's not stacking boxes. |
00:49:50 |
It's an arrow. |
00:49:55 |
-Jay? |
00:49:58 |
Whatever we're looking for |
00:50:03 |
Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil. |
00:50:09 |
I hope I'm not slowing you down. |
00:50:12 |
Good work, partner. Yeah. |
00:50:15 |
-We gotta figure out where it goes. |
00:50:18 |
-No. Not yet. |
00:50:23 |
I know the code, |
00:50:27 |
To us. Well, for help. |
00:50:30 |
Well, she can't stay here. |
00:50:35 |
-You can stay with friends of mine. |
00:50:39 |
Kind of. |
00:50:40 |
Jay! |
00:50:42 |
-Low bridge! |
00:50:45 |
Hey, what's happening, fellas? |
00:50:49 |
-Bad. |
00:50:50 |
-I need your help. This is Laura. |
00:50:54 |
Easy, easy! |
00:50:56 |
They're worms. |
00:50:57 |
Once you go worm, |
00:51:01 |
-That's what they say. They just: |
00:51:05 |
They're suspended |
00:51:07 |
-We were framed. |
00:51:10 |
-Kay! |
00:51:12 |
-They said you were dead. |
00:51:15 |
Laura's very important to me. |
00:51:17 |
To us. To the stuff-- |
00:51:22 |
-Keep an eye on her. |
00:51:25 |
No problem! |
00:51:29 |
-Why don't you sit here? |
00:51:31 |
Hey, shut up! |
00:51:36 |
My communicator, in case you need it. |
00:51:42 |
-Nice move. |
00:51:46 |
-Just watch out for Neeble. |
00:51:53 |
-Which one of y'all is Neeble? |
00:51:55 |
Him, right there. It's fine. |
00:51:59 |
Don't fall asleep. |
00:52:03 |
Twister! |
00:52:07 |
Run over your plan one more time. |
00:52:12 |
You neuralyzed memory of the Light |
00:52:16 |
Right. |
00:52:17 |
Photo pointing to a key in a pizzeria |
00:52:22 |
-ln the locker, we'll find another clue. |
00:52:29 |
-I like to keep my enemies confused. |
00:52:35 |
-Are you gonna slow me down? |
00:52:39 |
Why don't you go grab us some coffee? |
00:52:41 |
Sure. How do you take it? |
00:52:45 |
I don't know what's in there, |
00:52:49 |
Kay, for real, man. |
00:52:57 |
Kay! |
00:52:59 |
All hail Kay! All hail Kay! |
00:53:02 |
Oh, Kay, can you see |
00:53:06 |
You are the man who would be king |
00:53:09 |
Praise Kay! |
00:53:10 |
Oh, good and gentle townsfolk |
00:53:15 |
-...did I leave anything here? |
00:53:19 |
Left to illuminate our streets |
00:53:22 |
-I've been looking everywhere for this. |
00:53:27 |
I got y'all, it's cool. |
00:53:30 |
Titanium case. |
00:53:33 |
-That's banging. |
00:53:36 |
Jay. |
00:53:39 |
All hail Jay! |
00:53:41 |
Oh, Jay, can you see |
00:53:43 |
-Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of-- |
00:53:47 |
-Wait! The commandments! |
00:53:49 |
The tablet! The tablet! |
00:53:52 |
We have lived by its word, and peace |
00:53:57 |
Pass it on to others! So that they too |
00:54:00 |
Be kind! Rewind! |
00:54:02 |
Reconcile your past... |
00:54:04 |
...in order to move into your future! |
00:54:07 |
Two for one every Wednesday. |
00:54:09 |
Give twice as much as ye receive |
00:54:13 |
Every Wednesday. |
00:54:14 |
Large adult entertainment section |
00:54:22 |
That's just nasty. |
00:54:24 |
-What's with the video card? |
00:54:26 |
-The watch? |
00:54:28 |
-Of what? |
00:54:30 |
Guess. |
00:54:31 |
I guess we have till midnight. |
00:54:37 |
Look. Here's an idea. Let's stop |
00:54:41 |
...get a couple fission carbonizers |
00:54:46 |
It's all about to make sense, kid. |
00:54:48 |
Is this card valid? |
00:54:51 |
-This card hasn't been used in years. |
00:54:55 |
-Billions of frequent flier miles. |
00:54:58 |
I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can |
00:55:02 |
The airlines black out holidays. |
00:55:08 |
Can you tell us anything |
00:55:11 |
You never checked out a tape. |
00:55:13 |
You reserved one once, |
00:55:17 |
-Newton. |
00:55:19 |
It's all stopped up. |
00:55:27 |
-Still think I'm paranoid? |
00:55:31 |
Gentlemen, my name is Newton. |
00:55:36 |
-You need professional help. |
00:55:41 |
Okay, so, new case, huh? |
00:55:43 |
Episode 27, Light of Zartha. |
00:55:47 |
Got it. |
00:55:49 |
Jarra, it's a sin they've kept |
00:55:53 |
Their agent Jay caught me siphoning |
00:55:57 |
They're touchy about global warming. |
00:55:59 |
I need a spacecraft that can travel |
00:56:03 |
I'll give you |
00:56:05 |
-Give me Jay. We'll call it even. |
00:56:08 |
You've got till midnight. |
00:56:15 |
Gatbot, I got a little |
00:56:23 |
Newton? Newton, is that you? |
00:56:26 |
Yes, Mom, I'm up here |
00:56:29 |
I wanna have your baby. |
00:56:30 |
Would you like some mini-pizza? |
00:56:34 |
You guys want some mini-pizzas? |
00:56:37 |
They're like mini-bagels, |
00:56:40 |
She'll put a little fontina cheese on. |
00:56:43 |
She has palsy, so she ends |
00:56:52 |
No, thanks, we're cool. |
00:56:54 |
All right. |
00:56:57 |
Over here. |
00:57:03 |
This is it. |
00:57:05 |
Finally some hard evidence. |
00:57:07 |
Gentlemen, before I play the tape, |
00:57:12 |
What's up with anal probing? |
00:57:13 |
Aliens travel billions of light |
00:57:18 |
Boy, move. |
00:57:20 |
Okay. Just a question. |
00:57:24 |
Here is one of their stories |
00:57:28 |
...from one of their files |
00:57:33 |
1978. Devastating war of Zartha |
00:57:38 |
Looks like Spielberg's work. |
00:57:40 |
But the Zarthans had a great treasure, |
00:57:44 |
A source of power so awesome, |
00:57:48 |
...could mean victory and restoration |
00:57:51 |
...or complete annihilation, if it |
00:57:56 |
A group of Zarthans made the journey, |
00:58:00 |
Lauranna. |
00:58:02 |
...Princess Lauranna. |
00:58:05 |
Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black |
00:58:09 |
But they could not intervene. |
00:58:12 |
No. |
00:58:14 |
It was night. |
00:58:17 |
And it was raining. |
00:58:19 |
You've been very wise. |
00:58:21 |
Kay, please. If Serleena takes |
00:58:26 |
If we extend protection for the Light |
00:58:30 |
...we put Earth in jeopardy. |
00:58:33 |
-Where is it? |
00:58:36 |
If you want it, go get it. |
00:58:42 |
No! |
00:59:13 |
And so never knowing it happened... |
00:59:15 |
...the people of Earth |
00:59:18 |
...by a secret society of protectors-- |
00:59:23 |
I shouldn't have. |
00:59:25 |
You never sent it off the planet. |
00:59:29 |
You hid it here. |
00:59:32 |
The worm guys. |
00:59:38 |
Are you one of Newton's |
00:59:41 |
-Yes, ma'am, I am. Look here, please. |
00:59:46 |
A neuralyz-- |
00:59:49 |
Okay, first, get some contact lenses. |
00:59:53 |
Joints look like they pick up cable. |
00:59:55 |
Second, take her to Cambodia. Get |
01:00:00 |
Third, the second y'all get back |
01:00:04 |
...move your bum ass |
01:00:07 |
-Let's go. |
01:00:09 |
-Agent Jay? |
01:00:12 |
And there ain't no such thing |
01:00:22 |
-You wanna go to Cambodia? |
01:00:27 |
Hey, Mom? |
01:00:29 |
Communicator, Jay. |
01:00:32 |
-Laura, it's me. |
01:00:35 |
What's up, Jay? |
01:00:37 |
-Quit touching my butt! |
01:00:41 |
They're good at this. |
01:00:44 |
They were telling me about Oprah, |
01:00:47 |
Maybe landed in Chicago. |
01:00:51 |
-Are you wearing a bracelet? |
01:00:54 |
Is it glowing? |
01:01:00 |
-lt's never done that before. |
01:01:03 |
Communicator, Frank. |
01:01:05 |
Deactivate the lockdown. We're headed |
01:01:10 |
Got it, Jay. Scrad? |
01:01:13 |
Bitch. |
01:01:15 |
Why didn't you say I love you? |
01:01:17 |
-He's a dog. I don't even like him. |
01:01:22 |
That's why you didn't neuralyze her. |
01:01:25 |
-Like you did with Lauranna? |
01:01:30 |
I don't want to see you |
01:01:33 |
Whatever, man. |
01:01:39 |
Laura? |
01:01:47 |
Damn! |
01:01:53 |
Never stood half a chance. |
01:01:56 |
Oh, boy. |
01:01:58 |
That's gonna leave a scar. |
01:02:01 |
-Where's Laura? |
01:02:03 |
-Some dumb two-headed guy. |
01:02:07 |
We got 39 minutes. |
01:02:10 |
...pull yourselves together. |
01:02:13 |
Damn. |
01:02:15 |
That's feeling better. |
01:02:17 |
-Hey, guys, wait up! |
01:02:20 |
Serleena has the bracelet. |
01:02:22 |
She also wants me. |
01:02:24 |
-What's the book say? |
01:02:27 |
-We need wig-splitting weapons. |
01:02:35 |
Paw Paw's coming to visit me. |
01:02:38 |
Paw Paw and ZuZu love |
01:02:41 |
Don't worry, folks. I used to live |
01:02:45 |
Don't worry, folks. I used to live |
01:02:49 |
Nice place. |
01:02:50 |
Nice place. |
01:03:04 |
See you. |
01:03:15 |
You did not see a room |
01:03:18 |
You will cherish and love each other |
01:03:21 |
Which could be the next 28 minutes, |
01:03:25 |
And she can stay up |
01:03:28 |
...and have cookies |
01:03:41 |
Four minutes to launch. |
01:03:44 |
Four minutes to launch. |
01:03:46 |
-Your ship is ready. |
01:03:54 |
Ready, guys? |
01:03:55 |
Lock and load, baby. |
01:03:57 |
-You ready, kid? |
01:03:59 |
I saved the world |
01:04:02 |
They're the Backstreet Boys of |
01:04:07 |
Know what you're doing? |
01:04:09 |
I'm about to attack one |
01:04:12 |
...with four worms and a mailman. |
01:04:16 |
No, no, wait! |
01:04:23 |
A code 101 lockdown! |
01:04:25 |
The building gets pressurized. |
01:04:29 |
Yeah, you knew. |
01:04:32 |
You got it. |
01:04:39 |
It's about time you guys got here. |
01:05:05 |
Yummy. Someone I need to eat. |
01:05:09 |
Get to the launch pad. The bracelet |
01:05:13 |
-Do not come back for me. |
01:05:15 |
Do not come back for me. |
01:05:22 |
-Worm guys, give me some cover fire. |
01:05:36 |
Go! |
01:05:48 |
-Limber. |
01:05:51 |
-Shut off power so they can't take off. |
01:05:57 |
-That way. |
01:06:00 |
No problem. |
01:06:16 |
Nice to see you again, Kay. |
01:06:22 |
-Three minutes to launch. |
01:06:25 |
Three minutes to launch. |
01:06:27 |
Hello, Jay. Long time. |
01:06:29 |
Jarra! What's up, man? |
01:06:32 |
-What's it been? Five years? |
01:06:34 |
You count every one |
01:06:37 |
You shouldn't have tried to steal |
01:06:42 |
Over our dead titanium bodies! |
01:06:45 |
Two minutes. |
01:06:53 |
Let's play this one by ear. |
01:06:58 |
-I should have vaporized you before. |
01:07:02 |
Didn't you, Kay? |
01:07:04 |
You silly little man. |
01:07:35 |
Two minutes to launch. |
01:07:39 |
Just go, I'll be fine! |
01:07:41 |
What you talking about? |
01:07:44 |
Jarra, you are under arrest |
01:07:48 |
...and for making that many copies. |
01:07:51 |
I want him in pieces. |
01:07:55 |
Jarra Jr. is going, going... |
01:07:58 |
...gone! |
01:08:13 |
-Rectum. |
01:08:16 |
Never get tired of that one. |
01:08:17 |
-Where do we shut off the power? |
01:08:26 |
-I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute. |
01:08:36 |
Down to one now, Jarra! |
01:08:48 |
Thirty seconds to launch. |
01:08:58 |
Fifteen seconds to launch. |
01:09:04 |
Ten seconds to launch. |
01:09:06 |
Eight. |
01:09:07 |
Seven. |
01:09:09 |
Six. |
01:09:11 |
Five. |
01:09:12 |
Four. |
01:09:13 |
Three. |
01:09:15 |
Two. |
01:09:17 |
Launch terminated. |
01:09:20 |
-What did you mean, leave you? |
01:09:23 |
Cracked your head. |
01:09:26 |
-Half the time you were on your back. |
01:09:31 |
You've lost, you insignificant speck. |
01:09:34 |
You've wasted 25 years |
01:09:37 |
The total annihilation of Zartha. |
01:09:41 |
I'll give you one last chance |
01:09:46 |
-What are you gonna do to stop me? |
01:09:51 |
Your flight's been canceled. |
01:10:00 |
Shut down power. Shut down power. |
01:10:05 |
Yeah. |
01:10:08 |
-Worms! |
01:10:15 |
-Give me the bracelet. |
01:10:18 |
Everybody in the car. |
01:10:34 |
This bracelet is what |
01:10:37 |
It's often something small. |
01:10:39 |
It's not the Light. |
01:10:43 |
If we don't get there in 11 minutes... |
01:10:45 |
...that bracelet will go nuclear |
01:10:48 |
What?! |
01:10:51 |
Hello. |
01:10:53 |
-Wait. |
01:11:10 |
Damn. |
01:11:12 |
-Modified to hyper-speed! |
01:11:19 |
What's that? |
01:11:20 |
At hyper-speed, you have |
01:11:28 |
Toggle switches for the ailerons. |
01:11:37 |
I just want you to know-- |
01:11:39 |
Hold on to that for one second. |
01:11:45 |
Computer, worms. |
01:11:47 |
I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me |
01:11:52 |
-...turn around and exit the planet." |
01:11:56 |
Main hall, egg display. |
01:11:58 |
We're taking fire. |
01:12:01 |
Computer at MiB can destroy |
01:12:07 |
Jay? Frank. You were the best darn |
01:12:12 |
Godspeed. |
01:12:15 |
Frank? Frank? |
01:12:17 |
Okay, here we go, automatic pilot. |
01:12:22 |
-lt is not automatic piloting. |
01:12:26 |
-I could use a steering wheel! |
01:12:32 |
-Didn't you ever have a Game Boy? |
01:12:35 |
You know what? Move. |
01:12:37 |
That is not the navigational stalk! |
01:12:52 |
Okay, straight down. |
01:12:59 |
Idiots. |
01:13:10 |
Subway may not be the best place |
01:13:15 |
-Where is he? |
01:13:17 |
Jeff. Hang on! |
01:13:21 |
Oops. |
01:13:23 |
Teeth. |
01:13:58 |
Running out of time, Kay. |
01:14:02 |
Right here. |
01:14:05 |
-What? |
01:14:08 |
-No. No way. |
01:14:11 |
You're mistaken. I work at a pizzeria. |
01:14:13 |
Two days ago, I was running a post |
01:14:17 |
Laura, you are the Light. |
01:14:21 |
The leader of your people. |
01:14:24 |
The power is within you |
01:14:27 |
I protected you until it was |
01:14:36 |
You will save a world. |
01:14:40 |
-I'm a Libra. |
01:14:42 |
-When you get sad, it rains. |
01:14:47 |
It rains because you're sad, baby. |
01:15:43 |
It's not fair. |
01:15:50 |
Never is. |
01:15:54 |
We are who we are... |
01:15:55 |
...even if we sometimes forget. |
01:16:07 |
Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you! |
01:16:10 |
Get back in the subway! |
01:16:18 |
That's not good. |
01:16:22 |
Wait! No! |
01:16:25 |
Jay! |
01:16:26 |
I cannot emphasize strongly enough how |
01:16:32 |
Laura! You have to go! |
01:16:35 |
Oh, jeez. |
01:16:38 |
Go. He's fine. |
01:16:42 |
Nope! |
01:16:46 |
About to lay the smackdown |
01:16:49 |
Laura! It's your destiny! |
01:16:52 |
I was talking, Kay! |
01:16:55 |
Hey! No biting. |
01:16:59 |
If you don't go, we all die. |
01:17:05 |
You're just as beautiful |
01:17:14 |
Kay? A little help? |
01:17:29 |
Kay? |
01:17:32 |
Might I suggest a bigger gun? |
01:18:01 |
-Kid? |
01:18:03 |
-Thanks for bringing me back. |
01:18:07 |
Why didn't you tell me? |
01:18:08 |
Would you have let her go? |
01:18:32 |
So, what's it like on the outside? |
01:18:36 |
It's nice. |
01:18:38 |
Sleep late on the weekends. |
01:18:45 |
I did miss this city. |
01:18:48 |
So Laura is Princess Lauranna's |
01:18:54 |
-Did y'all--? |
01:18:58 |
Let's go? |
01:18:59 |
Thousands of people in New York |
01:19:04 |
Plan needs to be thought out. |
01:19:13 |
Kid, I'll get you trained yet. |
01:19:15 |
I want one of those. |
01:19:17 |
Damn! |
01:19:23 |
-Hey. |
01:19:24 |
-How you doing? |
01:19:27 |
We've all been there. The girl is gone |
01:19:31 |
-No. |
01:19:33 |
No. |
01:19:34 |
Still sulking? |
01:19:36 |
-No. |
01:19:37 |
You miss her. It happens to all of us. |
01:19:41 |
When our bodies were in the positions |
01:19:45 |
Zed! |
01:19:47 |
Come on, man! Damn! |
01:19:49 |
I'll tell you about dames. |
01:19:51 |
They say they want to be scratched, |
01:19:55 |
Hey! Frank. |
01:19:56 |
What? Still sitting shiva? |
01:19:59 |
No. No advice. |
01:20:01 |
No talking. |
01:20:03 |
Hell, no. |
01:20:05 |
Fellas, I swear, I'm fine. |
01:20:09 |
All hail Jay! All hail Jay! |
01:20:12 |
-I brought them from Grand Central. |
01:20:16 |
I thought it would put things |
01:20:18 |
It's kind of sad. |
01:20:21 |
They need to know the world |
01:20:24 |
Still a rookie. |
01:20:29 |
Whoa. |