Mrs

en
00:01:18 Salutations, snack.
00:01:22 On second thought...
00:01:26 9-1-1!
00:01:29 Police! Civic authorities! ASPCA! ASAP!
00:01:32 Murder! Betrayal! Kidnapped!
00:01:34 No, birdnapped!
00:01:37 A cup of garlic, a twist of parakeet.
00:01:40 Eat your heart out, Julia Child.
00:01:44 Excuse me, but isn't it customary
00:01:50 In your case, I think not.
00:01:51 Afternoon snacks have few civil liberties.
00:01:54 But I'm not wholly without heart.
00:01:57 How about a nice soothing cigarette?
00:02:05 Oh, I will not do this. I cannot!
00:02:08 Oh, what a foul way for a bird to die!
00:02:13 No! My lungs are blackened!
00:02:15 Here we go again.
00:02:18 - Help me...
00:02:21 That line is not in the script.
00:02:24 - I wanted to comment on the situation.
00:02:27 Shoving a cigarette into Pudgie's mouth
00:02:31 This is a cartoon,
00:02:35 Lou, millions of kids see this cartoon.
00:02:39 You can't put words in Pudgie's mouth
00:02:43 It's voice-over. An interior monologue.
00:02:47 Pudgie, don't smoke.
00:02:50 - Actors.
00:02:53 Do you think it's morally right
00:03:00 - They're biased. That's a mistrial.
00:03:05 If you want a paycheck, stick to the script.
00:03:08 If you want to play Gandhi,
00:03:18 Then I've got to do what I've got to do.
00:03:21 That's very funny.
00:03:24 If you leave, you're not comin' back in.
00:03:27 I'm not takin' any crap from you, pal.
00:03:30 Well, in the words of Porky Pig:
00:03:36 Piss off, Lou.
00:04:10 - So what about that history test?
00:04:13 - Did you have fun in school?
00:04:21 - Dad?
00:04:24 Daddy!
00:04:30 - I thought you couldn't pick us up.
00:04:34 - You mean you got fired?
00:04:38 Actors.
00:04:40 Dude, congratulations on your
00:04:46 - A stripper?
00:04:48 - Two strippers?
00:04:50 - A party?
00:04:51 No. No parties.
00:04:54 Mom said you couldn't have one
00:04:57 Mom's not gonna be
00:05:04 Prepare yourself... for the wild kingdom.
00:05:28 Coming up toward the very end.
00:05:32 Come on off now. Here we go.
00:05:36 You want to feed him?
00:05:40 See if this guy will.
00:05:43 Sorry.
00:05:47 Get out!
00:06:15 - Gregory, Henderson and Hillard.
00:06:21 I know what you're going for with these
00:06:26 And let's do steel windows, not wood.
00:06:29 Eliminate the Oriental rug.
00:06:33 - More pink than red.
00:06:35 Union Square Inn. This is better.
00:06:38 More Arts and Crafts. A Dirk Van Erp lamp,
00:06:43 Excuse me. Miranda,
00:06:46 - Yes. Excuse me.
00:06:48 Just be one minute.
00:06:51 I just got off the phone
00:06:54 - Stuart Dunmeyer?
00:06:58 Stuart Dunmeyer?
00:07:00 He's putting millions into restoring
00:07:04 - He wants to make it into a $500-a-night B&B.
00:07:09 - He's been doing very well.
00:07:12 And he specifically asked for you, Miranda.
00:07:16 He did?
00:07:17 - I told him you'd call first thing tomorrow.
00:07:22 Miss Hillard? The operator
00:07:25 - She says it's an emergency.
00:07:30 Gloria?
00:07:44 - Oh, my God!
00:07:47 Yes, I'm sorry to say it is.
00:07:49 Are you aware it's illegal to possess
00:07:53 - What if you're married to one?
00:07:57 I'm going to respond myself.
00:08:01 You ate my begonias! God!
00:08:05 Get out of my way!
00:09:05 Miranda! Whassup?
00:09:08 You're home early, girlfriend.
00:09:11 Havin' a birthday in the house.
00:09:14 What the hell is going on around here?
00:09:16 Don't get mad, honey. Listen.
00:09:19 You're home a little early. I was gonna
00:09:26 Honey... What are you looking for?
00:09:31 I'd be careful.
00:09:43 Party's over.
00:09:48 She called you
00:09:52 Don't you dare
00:09:56 You have all the fun
00:09:58 - You chose the career.
00:10:03 Even when I try to do something fun,
00:10:06 I bring home a cake and gifts.
00:10:10 - And I have to clean up!
00:10:14 Why am I the only one
00:10:17 Why do you always
00:10:20 I don't. You do it yourself quite naturally.
00:10:23 - You set me up every time to be the bad guy.
00:10:27 You spend too much time with
00:10:31 I spend too much time with you, Daniel.
00:10:34 It's over.
00:10:38 Come on, Miranda. We've got problems,
00:10:43 We've been trying to work them out
00:10:47 Come on, please. Listen.
00:10:52 Maybe a family therapist
00:10:55 It's too late for that.
00:10:57 Well, let's take a vacation with the kids,
00:11:02 You're a different person.
00:11:05 Our problems would be waiting for us
00:11:09 We'll move, and hopefully
00:11:12 Daniel, please don't joke.
00:11:16 OK.
00:11:20 We've just grown apart. We're different.
00:11:25 - We have nothing in common.
00:11:35 Come on, Miranda. We love each other.
00:11:43 Don't we?
00:11:49 I want a divorce.
00:11:53 No.
00:12:01 We can't. We're a family. You know?
00:12:06 I'm so sorry.
00:12:48 Yeah, Ma, he told me all about it.
00:12:51 Yeah, Ma. I heard, I heard.
00:12:55 - Well, yeah, he's here.
00:12:59 Ma, he's not really in the mood to talk.
00:13:02 Yeah, depressed.
00:13:06 My marriage is not ending.
00:13:12 Ma, I think he's in a little bit of denial.
00:13:15 No, we're taking good care of
00:13:19 - Hi, Evelyn. Thanks for the jam.
00:13:22 That beige concealer.
00:13:26 - Next week.
00:13:29 Wait, hang on.
00:13:30 - Enough already. It's a man.
00:13:33 Bitch.
00:13:35 No, Ma, not you.
00:13:39 Ma, listen. We got people
00:13:42 Oh, yeah. It's a busy life, Ma.
00:13:47 Yeah, I'll tell him, Ma.
00:13:49 Don't worry, I'll tell him.
00:13:51 Yeah. Hold on, Ma.
00:13:52 She wants to know
00:13:55 - No way.
00:14:00 I will. All right. I love you, too.
00:14:02 Bye, Ma.
00:14:05 Hey, listen, you know you can always
00:14:10 Thank you, but I'm OK, really.
00:14:14 I know Miranda. It's gonna blow over.
00:14:22 Mr and Mrs Hillard, although these custody
00:14:27 we also realize, perhaps now more than
00:14:33 to deprive him or her
00:14:38 However, since at the present time Mr Hillard
00:14:45 it is the court's ruling
00:14:49 - Congratulations.
00:14:51 Mr Hillard will have visitation rights
00:14:55 - Can't you do something?
00:14:57 Isn't it traditional
00:15:01 Your Honor, please.
00:15:04 Every Saturday? That's one day a week.
00:15:06 That's not enough.
00:15:09 I have to be with my children. It's not
00:15:14 I know it seems like a lot,
00:15:17 I haven't been away from 'em for more than
00:15:22 - Mr Hillard, this ruling is only temporary.
00:15:26 I will assign a court liaison
00:15:29 There will be a continuance
00:15:33 - I'm giving you three months, Mr Hillard.
00:15:36 Three months in which to get a job,
00:15:41 If this proves to be a possibility for you,
00:15:43 I will consider a joint-custody arrangement
00:15:50 Well, it looks like there is
00:16:25 - That's all my stuff.
00:16:29 God, no. Why would you think that?
00:16:31 I should have never had a birthday, Dad.
00:16:34 - This never would have happened.
00:16:37 It was an accident waiting to happen, OK?
00:16:40 You did nothing wrong. You got that?
00:16:44 OK, gimme five.
00:16:53 You're the man of the house now.
00:16:55 Don't be messy.
00:16:58 - You can't go now.
00:17:02 We're in the middle of Charlotte's Web.
00:17:07 Well, Grandma will finish it for you.
00:17:12 She's not as good. She always skips parts,
00:17:17 She smells funny, too.
00:17:19 That's the formaldehyde.
00:17:24 Hey, come here.
00:17:29 It's the same as always.
00:17:33 - I love you.
00:17:40 I'll miss you. Saturday comes real quick.
00:17:45 - I'll miss you.
00:17:49 Oh, Dad...
00:17:53 - Take care of her.
00:17:57 Goodbye.
00:18:05 Thanks for the time, warden.
00:18:12 Bye, Dad.
00:18:35 As your court liaison,
00:18:38 - Your living environment...
00:18:44 And I will be coming by on Monday
00:18:49 Well, I'll put on a chicken.
00:18:52 And there's always the job issue.
00:18:54 This is the nearest employment office. I took
00:19:00 - Thank you.
00:19:04 Oh, yes. I do.
00:19:06 I do voices.
00:19:09 What do you mean, you do voices?
00:19:12 Well, I do voices.
00:19:14 Yes!
00:19:15 We're looking for intelligent life.
00:19:18 Happy to be in America.
00:19:22 I want you in the worst way.
00:19:24 This is certainly a rough meeting.
00:19:28 Hey, boss, give her a chance.
00:19:32 Look at me, Moneypenny.
00:19:36 I'm crazy to make a deal with you!
00:19:38 Nancy and I are still looking for
00:19:41 They're doin' it!
00:19:45 Don't make me smack you, sweetheart.
00:19:48 I do a great impression of a hot dog.
00:19:54 Mr Hillard, do you
00:19:57 I used to.
00:19:59 There was a time when I found myself funny.
00:20:02 But today you have proven me wrong.
00:20:07 Listen, bottom line...
00:20:10 I need to be with my children,
00:20:14 You just tell me what to do.
00:20:35 - Excuse me. You Tony?
00:20:37 Hi. I'm Daniel Hillard, the actor.
00:20:42 Follow me.
00:20:46 Oh, films! Will I be
00:20:50 - Not exactly.
00:20:53 You take all these cans.
00:20:56 Then you box those cans over there.
00:21:00 You box those, you ship those.
00:21:03 Any questions?
00:21:06 After you box 'em...?
00:21:08 You ship 'em.
00:21:10 Lots of luck, smartass.
00:21:16 I think I made a friend.
00:21:25 - Miranda.
00:21:34 Hello, Miranda.
00:21:36 - It's been a long time.
00:21:42 Mr Dunmeyer's come by
00:21:48 Let me show you to the conference room.
00:21:52 As you probably know,
00:21:55 These sketches are meant to reflect
00:21:59 You look better than ever.
00:22:01 The lobby will resemble a music salon with
00:22:07 I was thinking a 17th-century grand piano...
00:22:10 I've been following your career
00:22:14 A tufted sofa, a Flemish tapestry,
00:22:19 I'd love to get reacquainted. Catch up.
00:22:24 Mantel clocks.
00:22:26 Fringed, upholstered chairs, heavy drapes.
00:22:29 Can we talk? Over dinner, maybe?
00:22:34 Stuart, thank you. I...
00:22:37 I'm at the beginning of a divorce.
00:22:42 It just didn't work out.
00:22:44 - Oh, Miranda, I'm sorry.
00:22:48 No, really. I mean, I never
00:22:52 Well, I always hoped you'd find happiness.
00:22:56 Oh, God, that's so nice.
00:22:58 I was just worried my coming in here
00:23:03 No, no. Of course not. I...
00:23:06 I'm a professional. I'm...
00:23:08 I was flattered that you thought of me
00:23:14 Yeah, everything.
00:23:16 Well... Ancient history.
00:23:20 Yeah.
00:23:27 I'm late.
00:23:34 Can we talk maybe later in the week?
00:23:36 - Sure.
00:23:39 It's good to see you again.
00:24:04 Good, huh?
00:24:09 I know the place
00:24:12 It'll be OK. How do you like it?
00:24:16 - Nice.
00:24:19 Detestable.
00:24:22 Hey, just give me some time.
00:24:25 I'm not too comfortable
00:24:28 Neither are we.
00:24:30 I know it's hard, sweetie.
00:24:34 Can't you just tell Mom you're sorry?
00:24:39 Wish I could.
00:24:41 You know, grown-up problems...
00:24:44 They're a little more complicated, Nattie.
00:24:50 How is the old battle-axe?
00:24:53 - Your mom.
00:24:55 Oh. I'm glad to hear that.
00:24:59 I'd hate to think that she came down
00:25:04 What's amoebic dysentery?
00:25:07 It's an infection in your tummy
00:25:10 - Diarrhoea for ever?
00:25:14 - You die?
00:25:18 - I read about it in a science book.
00:25:24 Oh, honey, I don't want Mommy to die.
00:25:27 Then why did you say that?
00:25:32 Look, Dad, you're not trying very hard.
00:25:36 We only get to come here once a week.
00:25:40 You're right. I'm sorry. I'll try harder.
00:25:45 Nattie, I'll think good thoughts, OK?
00:25:49 - About Mommy?
00:25:54 - And call her a princess.
00:25:59 And right now I feel like a toad.
00:26:04 Daddy's a toad.
00:26:14 - That's Mom.
00:26:17 Come on, Nattie, we gotta go.
00:26:20 No, no! Come on, sit down.
00:26:22 Sit down!
00:26:24 You don't have to run off
00:26:27 Come on, you're on my time now.
00:26:30 You're my goddamn kids, too!
00:26:39 Come on.
00:26:49 Hi.
00:26:51 Oh, Daniel... Charming.
00:26:54 Thank you, Miranda.
00:26:58 Fleeing-my-homeland kind of thing.
00:27:01 But look at you!
00:27:03 This lovely Dances With Wolves motif.
00:27:08 - Are my children ready yet?
00:27:11 ...because you are an hour early
00:27:16 Daniel, I don't have time for this. I have to
00:27:22 Newspaper? Are you taking out
00:27:25 "DWF seeks WWM with BMW,
00:27:30 I'm placing an ad for a housekeeper.
00:27:34 Housekeeper?
00:27:37 I need someone to be there when the children
00:27:43 - How much are you gonna pay?
00:27:49 May I see the ad?
00:27:52 - I have a right as their father. Please?
00:27:56 - Are you offering?
00:27:59 What's the change?
00:28:01 - Are you guys all right?
00:28:05 Miranda, why not let me
00:28:08 I'll pick 'em up after school, be with them,
00:28:13 - That'd be great!
00:28:15 - Look. The kids love it.
00:28:18 I'll think about it.
00:28:24 We're his goddamn kids, too.
00:28:32 Kids say the darndest things.
00:28:35 Thank you. Any other choice phrases
00:28:42 Come on, everybody get their coats.
00:28:45 - Put them on and let's get out of here.
00:28:48 I would say go to the bathroom before we go,
00:28:57 Don't forget anything.
00:29:01 Come on, let's go.
00:29:03 - See you Saturday.
00:29:06 Goodbye, Daddy.
00:29:10 - Here's your ad.
00:29:12 Yeah, you'd better.
00:29:29 Hello. Are you calling
00:29:34 - Who was your previous employer?
00:29:39 - In a band?
00:29:41 Are your kids well-behaved, or do they need,
00:29:48 - I'll have to get back to you.
00:29:53 Ja, my name is llsa Himmelman. I want
00:29:58 - I have two girls and a boy.
00:30:02 I don't work with the males
00:30:08 Yikes.
00:30:13 Hello.
00:30:16 Leyla, get back in your cell!
00:30:20 Hello?
00:30:26 I am job.
00:30:30 - Do you speak English?
00:30:35 I'm sorry. The position has been filled.
00:30:38 Oh, what a nightmare!
00:30:42 Let's go in for the kill.
00:30:53 Hello?
00:30:56 I'm calling in regards
00:31:01 Yes. Well, would you tell me
00:31:05 Oh, certainly, dear.
00:31:07 For the past 15 years I've worked for
00:31:12 That's Smythe, not Smith, dear.
00:31:15 And for them, I did housecleaning, cooking,
00:31:22 I grew quite attached to them after 15
00:31:27 Oh, but listen to me. I am going on when you
00:31:32 - Well, I have two girls...
00:31:36 No doubt the jewel of your eye.
00:31:38 - And one boy.
00:31:43 I must tell you,
00:31:46 Oh, I don't mind that, dear.
00:31:49 But I do have one rule: They'll only eat
00:31:54 And if there's any dispute, it's either
00:31:58 That's my rule.
00:32:01 No!
00:32:03 Would you mind coming on an interview?
00:32:08 - Oh, I'd love to, dear.
00:32:11 I'm at 2640 Steiner Street.
00:32:16 Steiner. Oh, how lovely.
00:32:18 - Could you tell me your name?
00:32:23 I thought I gave it to you, dear.
00:32:25 No.
00:32:32 - Doubtfire.
00:32:35 Doubtfire, dear. Mrs Doubtfire.
00:32:38 - Well, I look forward to meeting you.
00:32:42 - Bye-bye.
00:32:49 Showtime.
00:32:56 - Daniel, hi.
00:33:00 Honey, I'm so happy!
00:33:03 - Oh, come here.
00:33:08 - Is this gonna hurt?
00:33:11 - Are you sure?
00:33:14 OK, take a deep breath. Instant eye lift.
00:33:19 And the strings are under the wig.
00:33:22 - The man has five-o'clock shadow at 8.30am.
00:33:27 - I'm not gonna wax.
00:33:31 - I feel like Gloria Swanson.
00:33:35 I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille.
00:33:38 OK, everyone. Let's pray.
00:33:45 I hope you are using Jungle Red.
00:33:49 - Matches your lips.
00:33:51 I'm feeling fabulous
00:33:54 Every night is like the Bay of Pigs.
00:33:57 I can't lie to you. It's beautiful with him.
00:34:00 I don't know. This would scare the children.
00:34:05 I think we have to go to the next level.
00:34:07 Latex.
00:34:10 Oy, it was such a shandeh.
00:34:13 I should never buy gribbenes from a mohel.
00:34:17 - No, I feel like Bubbee. This is not working.
00:34:20 It's a work in progress and you're my brother.
00:34:25 - God bless you.
00:34:27 But look at this nice thing we have here.
00:34:50 It's not working. I need to go older.
00:34:52 Older? Like Shelley Winters older
00:34:56 - What's the difference?
00:35:00 - What about Joan Collins?
00:35:03 But I have some plaster.
00:36:09 Are we close?
00:36:11 Any closer and you'd be Mom.
00:36:30 That's disgusting!
00:36:34 The most revolting thing I've ever seen.
00:36:37 Awesome.
00:36:41 What is this? Turn it off, will you?
00:36:44 Come on. I want you
00:36:47 I want you to be polite to her, then...
00:36:51 Everybody stand over here
00:37:00 Hello. Mrs Hillard, I presume.
00:37:02 Yes. I'm Miranda Hillard.
00:37:05 Euphegenia Doubtfire.
00:37:07 Yes. Won't you please come in?
00:37:09 Thank you, dear.
00:37:12 - And these must be the cherubs.
00:37:16 - This is Natalie.
00:37:20 - Are you wearing bug spray?
00:37:22 It's quite all right, dear. No offense taken.
00:37:27 And at my age, it's like a good Stilton.
00:37:31 I admire that honesty, Nattie.
00:37:36 It often disappears with age
00:37:40 Look at that face.
00:37:43 one of the most honorable creatures
00:37:47 - Do you know that book, Stuart Little?
00:37:51 Mine, too! Maybe I could read it to you -
00:37:55 - That would be wonderful.
00:37:59 - This is Chris.
00:38:01 Hello.
00:38:03 Jeez, you're big for a lady.
00:38:07 Well, I was a fullback.
00:38:11 - Soccer?
00:38:14 - Yeah!
00:38:16 Yes, I was captain of the women's team.
00:38:21 Oh, but that was decades ago!
00:38:23 But I was more disciplined then. I always
00:38:27 I'm sure you're the same
00:38:31 - Well, not exactly.
00:38:35 Young men who don't do their studies
00:38:42 - And who is this young lady?
00:38:46 Hello, Lydia.
00:38:50 This isn't fair, Mom.
00:38:54 - This is all I need.
00:38:57 Dear, I don't think it's appropriate to argue
00:39:03 I just don't see why
00:39:06 Maybe she's right, dear. Maybe their father
00:39:10 No, I don't think so.
00:39:13 It's not my fault, honey. If he would
00:39:18 - You see, he's the kind...
00:39:21 I'm sure you'd want the children
00:39:24 before you verbally bash their father. Hm?
00:39:27 If I did that, I might never see them again.
00:39:32 - I'm sorry. You're right.
00:39:35 - You're absolutely right.
00:39:40 Why don't you guys go on upstairs?
00:39:43 - It's lovely to meet you.
00:39:46 You too, Lydie.
00:39:55 - Oh, they're a spirited bunch.
00:39:57 - Especially Lydie. She's got daggers for you.
00:40:00 - They're very upset with me right now.
00:40:04 How did you know?
00:40:06 You can sense it, dear -
00:40:10 I don't think he's in the Navy, the way she's
00:40:15 - Yes.
00:40:18 - Would you care to have a cup of tea?
00:40:20 - It's right in here.
00:40:23 - Did you decorate this yourself?
00:40:26 Oh, it reeks of taste!
00:40:30 - Here's my résumé.
00:40:34 - Let me start this tea.
00:40:37 You've had a hard day. You just sit yourself
00:40:43 Thank you. That's very nice of you.
00:40:46 Oh, not at all, dear.
00:40:48 - Oh. What a wonderful résumé.
00:40:52 "Expert in first aid and CPR."
00:40:54 And Heimlich manoeuvre, dear.
00:40:56 You can never be too prepared
00:41:00 They'll swallow anything.
00:41:05 Oh, let's see.
00:41:08 What a perfectly appointed little cubby!
00:41:11 Look at this. Everything
00:41:15 How precise! It's lovely.
00:41:18 My husband never appreciated it.
00:41:20 Oh. Poor dolt.
00:41:23 That's not the reason
00:41:26 No.
00:41:29 It's so sad, because marriage
00:41:33 So can divorce.
00:41:36 Daniel is a very difficult man to live with.
00:41:43 You don't have to be
00:41:48 My, you certainly do know your way
00:41:53 It's just because everything
00:41:58 I'm amazed there isn't a little label there
00:42:05 You remind me of someone.
00:42:08 Really? Who?
00:42:13 I feel like I've known you for years.
00:42:16 Maybe we knew each other in another life.
00:42:22 I would love for you
00:42:25 - So would I.
00:42:28 It would be an honor.
00:42:31 To us.
00:42:33 To us. The start of a business relationship.
00:43:07 Good evening, dear.
00:43:11 Evening, ma'am.
00:43:19 Cold night, isn't it?
00:43:21 Yes, it is.
00:43:24 Hope you have somethin' nice and warm
00:43:41 My back.
00:43:43 Jesus! If I find the misogynistic bastard
00:43:49 God...!
00:44:00 Excuse me.
00:44:02 Mrs Sellner!
00:44:05 Have we met?
00:44:07 No. But Danny's told me all about you.
00:44:11 I'm his sister.
00:44:15 His... much older sister.
00:44:19 - You have his eyes.
00:44:24 - Is Mr Hillard in? I have an appointment.
00:44:29 Let me go up and get him
00:44:32 - I'll come with you.
00:44:33 - Yes.
00:44:35 Because I have an appointment on Monday
00:44:41 I remember him saying something about that.
00:44:44 Are you sure, dear?
00:44:47 - If you can do it, I can.
00:44:50 - Is your ticker all right?
00:44:52 Oh, good! Cos I don't want to jump-start ya.
00:44:58 Damn door.
00:45:00 Come in, please, dear. Sorry about that.
00:45:03 Here we are. Daniel's abode.
00:45:08 Oh, that's mine, dear.
00:45:11 Well, just make yourself at home.
00:45:15 He'll be back. I'll go get him.
00:45:17 Don't be afraid. I'll be right there. Danny!
00:45:20 Danny boy, where are you?
00:45:24 Danny, there's a
00:45:27 - Oh, is she here?
00:45:29 Mrs Sellner, I just got out of the shower!
00:45:33 I think you'll be very pleased with me!
00:45:35 I've been through
00:45:39 And I'm becoming a new man
00:45:43 He'll be right there.
00:45:48 I want to keep you abreast
00:45:51 There have been two big developments!
00:45:56 Things are really starting to take shape,
00:46:00 Things were hairy for a while,
00:46:06 I'm my own man now! Oh, yes!
00:46:10 A job I could really sink my teeth into!
00:46:13 I'll be right there, Mrs Sellner!
00:46:18 So nice I don't have to
00:46:25 Mrs Sellner! How are you? Always a joy!
00:46:29 If you wanted some cheese,
00:46:32 Well, you'll be happy to know
00:46:36 One for an educational film
00:46:40 - And the other?
00:46:46 - Big girl!
00:46:49 She's half-English, half-American.
00:46:51 Half-sister, really. That makes her
00:46:55 Let me see, my father was American.
00:47:00 He was in London and...
00:47:04 Well, my sister was
00:47:07 Sorry. My sister's, not yours.
00:47:10 You see, she's not a very good housekeeper.
00:47:16 Really? Well, I would adore
00:47:20 Oh! Wouldn't we all! I'll go get her.
00:47:23 Sis! Oh, sis!
00:47:26 Sis, are you in here?
00:47:28 Tea? Cup of TNT.
00:47:48 Sick. Mom!
00:47:55 My face!
00:48:03 I've gotta go down and get it.
00:48:08 Norman Bates!
00:48:32 Miss Hillard?
00:48:34 - Yes, dear?
00:48:37 Oh, your tea!
00:48:39 I'll be right there with your tea!
00:48:45 Coming right up, dear!
00:48:49 - Two, please!
00:48:52 You got it. Coming right your way, dear!
00:48:56 I'll be right there with your tea!
00:49:01 No! Stop!
00:49:12 Oh, shit!
00:49:20 - Can I give you a hand?
00:49:24 I need a face.
00:49:28 - Are you sure?
00:49:37 I'm not a Muslim. I need a face! Oh, God.
00:49:44 Miss Hillard? The water's boiling.
00:49:48 Hello!
00:49:51 Oh, I'm sorry to frighten you, dear.
00:49:56 This is my nightly meringue mask.
00:50:00 It's basically egg whites, creme fraîche,
00:50:05 There you go, dear. Oh! You've got your
00:50:11 One drop or two? Would you like another?
00:50:13 Oh! There you go!
00:50:16 As you can see, I can't stay with you, dear.
00:50:21 There we go again! I'll go get Danny.
00:50:26 - Danny!
00:50:29 - It was lovely to have met you!
00:50:50 - Had a little accident.
00:50:58 Why wasn't I an only child?
00:51:36 - Sorry.
00:51:50 Ready? OK.
00:51:52 Did you have fun?
00:51:54 - What did you do?
00:51:57 The teacher liked it.
00:52:01 Here it is, Mel. $1,000 worth of hair.
00:52:05 - Alan, I was wondering if...
00:52:08 I'd rather make a coat for my wife.
00:52:12 All right, everyone.
00:52:15 - It's homework time. OK?
00:52:22 No. Now.
00:52:25 No.
00:52:28 We always watch Dick Van Dyke.
00:52:33 Really? Well, not any more.
00:52:37 The only thing you'll be watching
00:52:42 Now,
00:52:44 I know you're used to loosey-goosey.
00:52:47 But I run a much tighter ship.
00:52:50 Between the hours of 3pm and 7pm,
00:52:55 And when I'm in charge,
00:52:59 Those who do not follow the schedule
00:53:03 - Punished?
00:53:06 She'd never punish us.
00:53:09 Don't... fuss with me.
00:53:44 This is exploitation. It's not fair.
00:53:46 - Shut up, Lydie.
00:53:49 Ooh, my little ankle-biters.
00:53:52 Do I sense dissension in the ranks?
00:53:55 Are we ready for homework,
00:53:58 - No. Anything but this.
00:54:03 Go. Flee before me!
00:54:07 Onward and upward!
00:54:09 Go pump some neurons.
00:54:11 Expand your craniums.
00:54:13 - I miss Dad.
00:54:16 Me most.
00:54:20 I'm here, guys.
00:54:23 In some form.
00:54:28 Let's see.
00:54:33 OK. Pinch of basil.
00:54:39 Damn!
00:54:48 Mayday!
00:54:51 Oh, God! It's gonna blow!
00:54:55 Easy.
00:54:58 Damn. Calm down.
00:55:01 Come on.
00:55:04 How is it? Oh, my God.
00:55:08 This hollandaise smells like burnt rubber.
00:55:12 God, it's hot in here.
00:55:33 Look at this! My first day as a woman
00:55:55 - Hey, here's your food.
00:55:57 - 135.27.
00:56:01 And 27 cents.
00:56:03 Four dinners. 20 bucks extra for rushing us.
00:56:06 Rushing? Well, you could have been
00:56:10 - There's 140. Do you have change?
00:56:13 I thought you wouldn't.
00:56:47 Hello!
00:56:50 Hello! Anybody home?
00:56:55 - Where were you guys?
00:56:58 Mrs Doubtfire said we had to.
00:57:00 Oh, she did, huh?
00:57:03 Doing your homework. How great!
00:57:06 - Hi.
00:57:08 Look at this place! It looks wonderful!
00:57:26 Dinner is served, madam.
00:57:29 How lovely!
00:57:53 Mrs Doubtfire?
00:57:55 Lydia, dear. Get back inside
00:57:59 Look... I just want to apologize
00:58:03 - Oh, dear, it's all right.
00:58:08 It's just... I'm still kind of messed-up.
00:58:15 We all are, sweetie.
00:58:18 What?
00:58:20 I just mean I understand
00:58:27 Yeah.
00:58:30 Well, I also wanted to thank you.
00:58:32 - For what?
00:58:38 She hasn't been in this good a mood since...
00:58:45 It's been a long time.
00:58:47 - It has?
00:58:51 Well, I gotta go back in, but...
00:58:53 - Go.
00:58:57 You're welcome.
00:59:03 Bye.
00:59:11 Thank you.
00:59:26 Oh, no.
00:59:29 Well, milady!
00:59:33 A joy, as always.
00:59:54 I like that Mediterranean look in women.
00:59:58 Natural. Healthy.
01:00:01 Just the way God made ya.
01:00:05 He broke the mould when he made me, dear.
01:00:10 He sure did.
01:00:13 Bless you.
01:01:33 I am not a crook.
01:01:37 "She kissed Stuart and thanked him. "
01:01:40 "'How was it down there? ' asked Mr Little,
01:01:42 who was always curious to know
01:01:46 "'It was all right,' said Stuart. "
01:02:38 Back off, asshole!
01:02:40 Beat it!
01:02:44 Broke my bag, the bastard.
01:02:55 Lover boy's here.
01:02:58 What a beautiful little car for Don Juan.
01:03:05 So sad when that happens!
01:03:08 It was our junior year in college, and your
01:03:15 - I wasn't that young.
01:03:19 Elastic bands were flying out everywhere.
01:03:22 - That's not true!
01:03:26 - Isn't that the pretty picture!
01:03:30 Miranda. What a pleasant surprise
01:03:35 - And who is your gentleman caller?
01:03:38 - He just wanted to come and meet the kids.
01:03:41 Ah, this must be the famous Mrs Doubtfire.
01:03:45 It's a pleasure to meet you.
01:03:48 Yes, well...
01:03:51 - Odd. She's never mentioned you.
01:03:54 - No.
01:03:57 - You, too.
01:04:00 I have a home in London. I was born there.
01:04:05 - Here and there, dear. All over, really.
01:04:09 - Accent's a little kind of... muddled.
01:04:16 Dear, can you help me with something?
01:04:21 Yes. This is off my Mercedes.
01:04:23 Off your Mercedes, dear?
01:04:27 Oh, dear. They say a man
01:04:31 is compensating for smaller genitals.
01:04:33 But not in your case, cos I see
01:04:38 - It was lovely to meet you.
01:04:41 - Mrs Doubtfire, may I speak with you?
01:04:46 Could you stay
01:04:49 Stu. That's more of a thick soup
01:04:53 It's a name. It's short for Stuart.
01:04:55 - Is it?
01:04:58 - He was a friend. He is a friend.
01:05:01 - I don't know what's happening.
01:05:04 - Isn't he fabulous?
01:05:07 If you like that handsome, rugged type.
01:05:09 But personally I prefer
01:05:13 He just wants to go out and have a drink.
01:05:16 - I think that's pretty harmless. Don't you?
01:05:20 - They always have other intentions.
01:05:23 I'll just sip club soda
01:05:27 Dear Miranda. Wake up
01:05:30 Can't you see the lust in that man's eyes?
01:05:33 It's too soon, dear. Really.
01:05:36 You've got to give your divorce time.
01:05:38 Let your sheets cool down before you bring
01:05:44 Mrs Doubtfire, may I ask you a question?
01:05:46 Certainly, dear.
01:05:48 How long after Mr Doubtfire passed away...
01:05:51 Winston.
01:05:53 ...did you feel any desire...
01:05:59 Never.
01:06:01 Never again.
01:06:03 Once the father of your children
01:06:07 the only solution is
01:06:11 - Celibacy?
01:06:13 And if you violate that, heaven forgive ya.
01:06:17 Good luck.
01:06:20 Thank you.
01:06:27 "Preponderance. "
01:06:38 Bravo. "Discriminate. "
01:06:49 Oh, that's very good.
01:06:55 Check those. I'll be right back.
01:07:20 - Oh, God.
01:07:22 - Oh, my God!
01:07:26 Lydia! We gotta call the cops!
01:07:28 - We gotta dial 911 now!
01:07:31 Mrs Doubtfire. He's a she!
01:07:34 What?!
01:07:36 - He's half man, half woman!
01:07:39 - All right, everyone. Calm down.
01:07:44 - In the balls!
01:07:46 - She's got 'em?
01:07:48 All right. Listen to me.
01:07:51 I'm not... who you think I am.
01:07:53 - No shit!
01:08:00 Oh, my God.
01:08:06 - Dad?
01:08:09 - Dad?
01:08:14 You don't really like
01:08:17 Well, some of it's comfortable... No!
01:08:20 It's a pain in the padded ass.
01:08:25 I don't go to old-lady bars or
01:08:28 It's the only way
01:08:31 - Who did this?
01:08:41 It's really you in there.
01:08:44 Yeah.
01:08:48 It's just a mask. And this is a body suit.
01:08:53 - It's good.
01:08:56 Hi.
01:08:59 - Sorry I scared you. Come here, Chris.
01:09:03 I get it. I just...
01:09:07 - Not just yet.
01:09:11 Yeah.
01:09:13 Well, now that you know,
01:09:17 Cos if she finds out, I'll only be able
01:09:23 And we can't tell Nattie,
01:09:26 So you have to promise me,
01:09:30 - You promise?
01:09:34 It's OK.
01:09:38 All right? It's our little secret.
01:09:45 Most of the dinosaurs were herbivorous.
01:09:49 But this Tyrannosaurus rex
01:09:53 is a carnivore.
01:10:02 The reptile-like Saurischia
01:10:08 and the bird-like
01:10:11 Ornithischia.
01:10:20 Now, we're going to go
01:10:23 where no human being has ever been.
01:10:25 Oh, no.
01:10:29 Which one's the dinosaur?
01:10:31 - The one in the middle, I think.
01:10:38 I can't believe they're still
01:10:42 There should be a disclaimer: Do not operate
01:10:47 It's incredible.
01:10:49 This guy used to put me to sleep
01:10:54 He has the warmth of a snow pea. Makes
01:10:59 What kind of idiot
01:11:04 Me.
01:11:08 You?
01:11:10 Jonathan Lundy.
01:11:13 Jonathan Lundy, General Manager, owner?
01:11:17 Daniel Hillard, former employee.
01:11:21 Maybe.
01:11:23 That's funny.
01:11:25 I don't mean to criticize. I just...
01:11:28 - Sometimes I have...
01:11:32 I'm gonna cancel it. It's pullin' down
01:11:36 You know what you gotta do?
01:11:38 Start from scratch.
01:11:41 - A little Tyrannosaurus rex comes out...
01:11:46 That shipment's gotta make
01:11:50 Tone, this is Mr Lundy.
01:11:53 - He knows who I am.
01:11:56 Did you ever wish that you could
01:12:00 look at it and say "This is not my life"?
01:12:30 Miranda. What are you home early for, dear?
01:12:33 I had an appointment. Oh, thank you!
01:12:35 With the court liaison. Mrs Sellner.
01:12:39 - I can't believe it.
01:12:42 She says Daniel has some woman
01:12:47 - I told her he doesn't even have a sister.
01:12:53 She's a social worker, dear. Really!
01:12:57 And besides, how could he replace you?
01:13:01 And so quickly. Really!
01:13:03 She's supposed to be older
01:13:08 Really?
01:13:11 Mrs Doubtfire.
01:13:15 - Yes?
01:13:19 - You must have had your share of problems.
01:13:25 But I always say: The bad times fade away,
01:13:29 and the good ones
01:13:32 - Yes. Excuse me.
01:13:38 As I hold this cold meat,
01:13:43 When did he... pass on?
01:13:47 Eight years ago, dear. This November.
01:13:50 What happened?
01:13:52 - He was quite fond of the drink.
01:13:56 - It was the drink that killed him.
01:13:59 - He was an alcoholic?
01:14:03 So it was quite literally
01:14:06 - How tragic!
01:14:13 Oh, but he was a good man, though, really.
01:14:17 A sainted man.
01:14:20 And despite his mountains of faults, dear,
01:14:23 I always say: A flawed husband
01:14:27 - Who needs a husband when I've got you?
01:14:32 - Well...
01:14:34 You can't imagine what it was like
01:14:38 Tell me, dear. What was so horrible
01:14:43 Well, at first, nothing.
01:14:45 He was so... romantic.
01:14:49 - So passionate.
01:14:51 He sounds like an absolute stud, dear.
01:14:54 I hope you don't mind me
01:14:58 How was he... you know...
01:15:02 Oh, well. That part was always...
01:15:06 OK.
01:15:08 Just OK?
01:15:11 He was probably a Casanova
01:15:15 - What was the matter with Winston?
01:15:17 Winston's idea of foreplay was
01:15:25 It was Daniel's spontaneity and energy
01:15:28 Really?
01:15:30 Everyone else I knew
01:15:35 Like me, I guess.
01:15:37 But Daniel was so wonderfully different.
01:15:42 I always say:
01:15:46 But after a few years,
01:15:50 - Why?
01:15:54 And he was always between jobs.
01:15:58 If I got home early to be with them,
01:16:02 The house would be wrecked
01:16:07 He never knew, but so many nights I just...
01:16:14 Really?
01:16:17 The truth is, I didn't like who I was
01:16:22 I would turn into this horrible person.
01:16:25 I didn't want my kids growing up
01:16:30 When I'm not with Daniel, I'm better.
01:16:34 And... I'm sure he's better
01:16:40 Well, you never...
01:16:42 I mean... Did you ever
01:16:49 Daniel never liked
01:16:58 I used to think Daniel could do anything.
01:17:05 But then, I was serious enough
01:17:31 - This is great!
01:17:35 I'll bet it's very exclusive. Probably need
01:17:41 - Amazing!
01:17:44 Not a single body
01:17:48 - Lydie...
01:17:50 Where? Oh. On the board.
01:17:53 Oh, isn't he a stunning piece of work?
01:17:56 Look, Nattie. That's called liposuction.
01:18:10 I hope he had protection,
01:18:14 - Let's go say hi.
01:18:17 - That's amazing.
01:18:26 - Hello! You look lovely!
01:18:30 Oh, guys, I'm so glad you could make it.
01:18:32 - By the looks of you, that water's so cold!
01:18:37 Your tummy looks different from my daddy's.
01:18:40 Oh, Nattie! Not everyone has
01:18:45 - Got your swimsuits? Wanna go for a dip?
01:18:49 - Good! How about you, Mrs Doubtfire?
01:18:53 Isn't there enough flesh here
01:18:57 - Come, Mrs Doubtfire. Don't be bashful.
01:19:01 - We'd be re-enacting the Titanic.
01:19:05 Oh, no. Just go. Leave me here.
01:19:09 You can't get heatstroke
01:19:12 OK. Well, let's go, kids. Swim time.
01:19:15 - Go, dear. I'll be fine.
01:19:18 - Anything you need, put it on my tab.
01:19:21 Touch me again and
01:19:25 I'll just sit here and watch you
01:19:33 Oh, God. What am I doing here?
01:20:05 - Is everything all right, ma'am?
01:20:09 - Can I have another?
01:20:11 Great.
01:20:23 Soda with a lime, please.
01:20:35 - It's on me.
01:20:46 Four iced teas, Todd.
01:20:50 So, whose rugrats?
01:20:54 Miranda Hillard's.
01:20:56 - Miranda Hillard?
01:21:00 No kidding? You?
01:21:03 Won't have anything to do with kids?
01:21:08 People change, Ron.
01:21:10 I'm pushing 40. I don't want to
01:21:14 She's got an awful lot
01:21:16 Three terrific kids, and I'm crazy about
01:21:21 She's a sweetie pie.
01:21:24 God knows they need a stable father figure
01:21:29 - What about their real father?
01:21:35 Loser? Oh, yeah?
01:21:43 Oh, sir!
01:21:45 I saw it! Some angry member
01:21:50 Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way.
01:21:54 I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.
01:22:04 Good waste of juice.
01:22:06 Loser.
01:22:10 What are you lookin' at?
01:22:44 Hi, boys and girls.
01:22:46 Today we'll be talking about dinosaurs.
01:22:49 It's A Dinosaurus Line!
01:22:56 And please welcome... the king!
01:23:03 It's a dinner show. Hi! Where you from?
01:23:07 Thank you very much. Thank you! All right!
01:23:09 Ladies and gentlemen,
01:23:12 Please welcome... James Browntosaurus!
01:23:19 I eat wood
01:23:21 It tastes good
01:23:24 No meat, big feet
01:23:26 I eat wood
01:23:29 Oh, I got to help myself!
01:23:33 Oh, thank you, James. But right now...
01:23:39 I'm a raptor, doin' what I can
01:23:42 Gonna eat everything
01:23:45 Yo, yo, see me, I'm livin' below the soil
01:23:49 I'll be back but I'm comin' as oil
01:23:55 Very impressive, Mr Hillard!
01:23:58 - I didn't know anybody was watching.
01:24:02 - Well, thanks.
01:24:06 - They'd be entertained and get information.
01:24:10 You don't have to play down to 'em,
01:24:13 - Listen, I'd like to hear more of your ideas.
01:24:17 - How about a dinner meeting?
01:24:20 Next Friday. Bridges Restaurant.
01:24:25 I'll be there.
01:24:32 Take five.
01:24:34 Take five million. You're dead.
01:24:41 We've just had our first
01:24:46 - This is terrific, Dad.
01:24:50 - No, I'm stuffed.
01:24:52 Well, I didn't make it myself.
01:24:56 It's OK, Dad. Thanks.
01:24:58 The place looks great. The food's terrific.
01:25:02 I'm really proud of you.
01:25:05 Yeah. Me, too.
01:25:07 Me, too.
01:25:12 I'll be right back.
01:25:20 - Thank you for knocking.
01:25:25 Look at this!
01:25:27 I see you got someone to clean for you.
01:25:30 No.
01:25:33 - Hi, guys.
01:25:36 - Are they ready?
01:25:39 - You cooked?
01:25:43 Thanks to this Amish
01:25:46 - I'm very impressed.
01:25:49 Give me a second chance. OK?
01:25:53 - I can't get rid of Mrs Doubtfire. She's terrific.
01:25:57 She's the best thing
01:26:00 The kids are all doing better in school.
01:26:05 I find myself getting home early just
01:26:12 Sounds like an amazing woman.
01:26:15 She is.
01:26:25 - I kinda like the black one.
01:26:28 I don't know. Actually... Mrs Doubtfire!
01:26:30 - Yes?
01:26:33 Oh! Then I'm your woman.
01:26:35 - Which one?
01:26:38 It's my birthday.
01:26:40 Stu's taking me out to dinner.
01:26:45 Neither.
01:26:47 They're both too brazen, dear.
01:26:50 Red is the traditional
01:26:53 And the black one is far too short.
01:26:57 They both say to me "I'm easy. "
01:26:59 You want to be Kilimanjaro
01:27:03 Why buy the cow
01:27:06 No, let's find something more your own age.
01:27:10 Something a little less tawdry.
01:27:13 Let's see.
01:27:15 How about this lovely frock?
01:27:18 Don't you think?
01:27:21 And old. I wore that
01:27:24 A classic never dies, dear.
01:27:28 I think we should ask the kids.
01:27:31 - I'd go with the short, black one.
01:27:36 There. You see? I agree.
01:27:38 Fine. You ask my opinion,
01:27:42 - I will not be held responsible for your virtue.
01:27:47 - Stu has invited you and the kids to join us.
01:27:52 I wouldn't miss that for the world!
01:27:56 - I'm so glad.
01:28:00 Friday night, seven o'clock.
01:28:03 - This Friday at seven?
01:28:08 - Bridges?
01:28:10 - Friday at seven.
01:28:12 Sorry.
01:28:15 - Bridges?
01:28:17 - The restaurant Bridges?
01:28:22 - I can't. Please, don't. It's bingo night, dear.
01:28:26 I can't, dear. It's my turn
01:28:29 - Please join us.
01:28:32 I can't have my birthday without you.
01:28:34 It's so important to us that you be there.
01:28:38 I can't have a birthday without you.
01:28:43 Please promise you'll come with us,
01:28:49 Who could resist that little face?
01:28:53 - I promise.
01:28:57 Thank you, dear.
01:29:00 - Are you all right?
01:29:02 Let's see... Nothing.
01:29:04 - Anything in May?
01:29:06 It doesn't look good.
01:29:09 I'm sorry. Mr Lundy is completely booked
01:29:13 - I'll meet him any time, anywhere.
01:29:17 Please. I can't cancel.
01:29:20 Take my advice: Don't cancel.
01:29:27 Thank you.
01:29:43 - Come along, Nattie.
01:29:47 - Shouldn't you cover your shoulders?
01:29:50 - Good evening, Mr Lundy.
01:29:52 Oh, God. Here we go.
01:29:56 - Mrs Doubtfire, you look wonderful.
01:29:59 Come on. I hope you're all hungry.
01:30:06 - Good evening, Mr Lundy.
01:30:10 No, I'm sorry. He hasn't arrived yet.
01:30:12 But we can seat you.
01:30:15 Nonsmoking, please.
01:30:18 - Tanya will seat you. Table 15.
01:30:23 - Reservation. Dunmeyer.
01:30:27 - Smoking or nonsmoking?
01:30:29 - Smoking!
01:30:32 No, I don't. But I did.
01:30:35 I found the best way to keep from smoking
01:30:40 I have to randomly ingest just a little bit
01:30:44 And I know you're Mr Health. Bless you
01:30:49 - Smoking.
01:30:52 - Follow me, please.
01:30:56 Thank you very much
01:31:09 - He's pissed already.
01:31:13 - Would you like to join us?
01:31:18 That would make my day!
01:31:21 Will you excuse me, dear?
01:31:25 - I can do it for you.
01:31:28 All right, dear. There you go.
01:31:32 - Oh, and your bag too, ma'am.
01:31:35 Oh, I'm very sorry, dear. It's my medicine.
01:31:38 - I have to go take my medicine now.
01:31:41 I can't take it orally, dear.
01:31:45 - Would you like something to drink?
01:31:49 I like 'em light and woody.
01:32:01 - Hello. Bridges Restaurant. May I help you?
01:32:05 Mr Lundy is expecting me for dinner. Will you
01:32:11 - I'll deliver the message personally, sir.
01:32:23 Oh, Stu!
01:32:26 I hope you like it.
01:32:28 It's gorgeous! Thank you!
01:32:31 Did I miss anything?
01:32:34 Well, yes. Look. This is the gift
01:32:40 - Isn't it gorgeous!
01:32:42 It is very real, Mrs Doubtfire.
01:32:44 You can either wear that or feed a small
01:32:50 Mommy, I need to go.
01:32:53 - Mrs Doubtfire, would you take her?
01:32:57 - She wants you, dear.
01:33:00 OK.
01:33:06 Yes, well...
01:33:08 Children, look at that lovely
01:33:12 Why don't you go over and pick what
01:33:17 - We'll be back.
01:33:21 That's a pretty impressive
01:33:24 Oh, thank you. Thank you.
01:33:26 A fella gives a gift like that,
01:33:31 Bit of a going-down payment, huh?
01:33:34 - Excuse me?
01:33:37 Hide the weasel? Park the porpoise?
01:33:40 Bit of the old humpty dumpty?
01:33:42 - Little Jack Horny? The horizontal mambo?
01:33:47 The bone dance, eh?
01:33:50 Bit of the old cunning linguistics? Hm?
01:33:53 - Mrs Doubtfire, please.
01:33:58 - I hope you're up for a little competition.
01:34:01 She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear.
01:34:07 She uses it and the lights dim.
01:34:11 Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.
01:34:15 I hope you bring cocktail sauce.
01:34:19 She's got crabs.
01:34:22 I'm being blunt as a spoon, aren't I?
01:34:25 Forgive me.
01:34:33 It's the wine. Oh, gosh!
01:34:36 Be back in a flash.
01:34:43 - Mrs Doubtfire!
01:34:46 - You're going into the men's room.
01:34:50 I do need new glasses, dear. Sorry!
01:34:56 Hello!
01:35:28 Jesus! God!
01:35:42 - Excuse me. May I have a menu?
01:35:48 - What's France like?
01:35:54 Thank you very much.
01:35:57 - Mr Lundy.
01:35:59 - Sorry I'm late. Did you get my message?
01:36:03 - How about a drink?
01:36:06 Double Chivas on the rocks.
01:36:08 Bring him two doubles so he can catch up.
01:36:11 - A Scotch drinker, huh? That's my kinda guy!
01:36:21 - OK, everybody. Are we ready to order?
01:36:26 Shouldn't we wait for Mrs Doubtfire?
01:36:30 Yes.
01:36:43 - How are we doin' over here?
01:36:46 Oh, yes.
01:36:52 Now...
01:36:55 What can you do
01:36:58 Bottom line: Don't patronize kids.
01:37:02 You gotta personalize it. Make it fun.
01:37:07 - That's what I'm interested in.
01:37:10 Well, I wonder what's happened
01:37:13 - We could cross over to the news.
01:37:17 But...
01:37:49 - May I help you, ma'am?
01:37:55 - Oh, my goodness!
01:38:02 - Forgive me. Excuse me.
01:38:05 Thank you. Oh, let's see here!
01:38:07 - May I take your order, ma'am?
01:38:12 Let's see. I'll have the poached salmon.
01:38:17 - And you, sir?
01:38:19 - Make mine not spicy. I'm allergic to pepper.
01:38:24 Thank you. Cheers. Your health.
01:38:37 Oh, my God.
01:38:39 So sorry about that. Just one moment.
01:38:43 Carpe dentum - seize the teeth.
01:38:45 Let me assist you.
01:38:47 A spoon. Oh, how clever. Wait. I've got it.
01:38:51 Wait. There. Make a pincer.
01:38:53 Come at it from both sides. Together - up.
01:38:58 Thank you. There it is.
01:39:01 Just shake them off, like a dog.
01:39:04 Sorry. Oh, forgive me.
01:39:06 - That's all right.
01:39:10 I'll be right back. I just have to
01:39:14 - Tell him to purée the salmon, if you will.
01:39:18 Thank you. Sorry about that.
01:39:27 Oh, that one.
01:39:34 Oh. I didn't know there was
01:39:44 Damn it! Oh, there it is.
01:39:50 Excuse me.
01:40:13 Where the hell have you been?
01:40:17 Bully!
01:40:24 Daniel?
01:40:27 Are you wearing ladies' perfume?
01:40:32 Yes, I am.
01:40:37 Are you wearing lipstick?
01:40:41 Yeah.
01:40:44 Why?
01:40:46 - It rubbed off.
01:40:51 A girl I used to date. She's a waitress.
01:40:54 - A waitress? Here?
01:40:57 On the way to the bathroom...
01:41:03 - You dog!
01:41:11 I got the stretch outside.
01:41:15 - Hey, it's the '90s.
01:41:18 Does she have a lady friend for me?
01:41:21 - Go ahead. Ask her.
01:41:24 Go on. Come on, go get 'em!
01:41:34 Hey, Dan!
01:41:36 I need my order for table 39!
01:41:38 - Relax. I'll be out in a minute.
01:41:47 39.
01:42:01 Table 39!
01:42:20 Hot jambalaya!
01:42:34 - Can I help you, ma'am?
01:42:36 But after all those Scotches
01:42:42 - Daniel?
01:42:46 Why in God's name
01:42:54 Oh, damn.
01:43:03 Well...
01:43:08 I'd like you to meet
01:43:11 Host?
01:43:13 Euphegenia Doubtfire, dear. I specialize in
01:43:22 Surprise!
01:43:27 Oh, thank you very much.
01:43:29 - This looks terrific.
01:43:32 Well, I hope the dear lady's all right.
01:43:35 - Shall we start?
01:43:41 Tell me. Why would Mrs Doubtfire
01:43:44 I'm a hip old granny who could
01:43:49 and yo, yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.
01:44:07 Stu?
01:44:11 Oh, he's choking. He's choking!
01:44:14 Help us! Somebody help!
01:44:17 Oh, God! Oh, God!
01:44:19 - He's choking here! Call 911!
01:44:23 - Mrs Doubtfire! Help us! He's choking!
01:44:27 - Mrs Doubtfire!
01:44:31 - Mrs Doubtfire, he's choking!
01:44:37 One more time, dear. Work with me!
01:44:41 Come on!
01:45:01 I'm all right.
01:45:04 - Are you all right?
01:45:06 Almost lost ya.
01:45:13 - Dad.
01:45:18 Daddy?
01:45:25 Yeah, honey. It's me.
01:45:30 Happy birthday.
01:45:34 Daniel...
01:45:36 Daniel! Oh, my God!
01:45:38 Oh, my God!
01:45:41 The whole time...
01:45:43 - The whole time?!
01:45:46 Don't talk to me! Don't touch me!
01:45:50 I have to go. We have to leave now.
01:45:53 We have to leave now!
01:45:59 - You guys go.
01:46:02 Bye.
01:46:05 Sorry about the pepper. I was...
01:46:19 What are you lookin' at? Show's over.
01:46:27 Miss Robeson,
01:46:31 Nothing further, Your Honor.
01:46:34 Mr Hillard, since you've determined
01:46:39 you are entitled to make
01:46:53 Your Honor, in the past two months,
01:46:58 and made it "an environment
01:47:02 I'm also holding down a job as a shipping
01:47:08 Ahead of schedule.
01:47:11 In regards to my behavior,
01:47:13 I can only plead insanity.
01:47:16 Because, ever since my children were born,
01:47:18 the moment I looked at them,
01:47:22 Once I held them, I was hooked.
01:47:26 I'm addicted to my children, sir.
01:47:28 I love them with all my heart.
01:47:31 And the idea of someone telling me I can't
01:47:36 It's like someone saying I can't have air.
01:47:39 I can't live without air,
01:47:43 Listen, I would do anything. I just want
01:47:49 We have a history.
01:47:52 And I just... They mean everything to me.
01:48:00 So, please.
01:48:01 Don't take my kids away from me.
01:48:09 Thank you.
01:48:21 Mr Hillard...
01:48:23 You've been able to fool a lot of people into
01:48:29 No easy task.
01:48:31 And your little speech seemed to be
01:48:40 But I believe it to be a terrific performance
01:48:46 - No. It's not that.
01:48:51 is that your lifestyle over the past month
01:48:56 And I refuse to further subject
01:49:00 to your peculiar
01:49:04 It is this court's decision
01:49:08 Oh, God, no.
01:49:09 You will have supervised
01:49:13 Supervised, sir?
01:49:15 A court liaison will accompany you
01:49:19 I am suggesting a period of psychological
01:49:26 We will re-examine this case
01:49:29 Thank you. Court is adjourned.
01:49:46 I don't do laundry.
01:49:49 I don't do bathtubs. I don't do toilets.
01:49:53 My children have been potty-trained
01:49:56 Well, I don't do washing.
01:49:59 I don't do dinners. I don't do reading.
01:50:06 Yes. Well, we have your number.
01:50:10 - We'll be getting back to you.
01:50:13 I'll show you to the door.
01:50:18 Yes, here we are. Please...
01:50:26 Laura, that shipment
01:50:29 Yes, but...
01:50:31 Laura, I'm not gonna wait
01:50:35 You do that. Call me back.
01:50:39 Oh, guys, please don't be so depressed.
01:50:42 Everything's gonna be all right.
01:50:45 - I miss her spaghetti.
01:50:48 I miss her stories.
01:50:51 Don't worry. We will find someone.
01:50:55 Nobody like her.
01:50:59 All right. I admit things were a lot nicer
01:51:04 The house was so warm and cosy, the beds
01:51:09 She isn't real! We have to stop referring
01:51:14 Hello, my dears!
01:51:18 We have a wonderful show today.
01:51:21 We have Mr Van Zandt from the Sierra Club,
01:51:24 and he's going to bring some animals
01:51:28 - Do you know what that means, poppets?
01:51:32 Oh, no, dear! It's Kovacs! Welcome, Kovacs!
01:51:36 Hi, guys. Did you say "extinction"?
01:51:39 It's not something smelling bad. Extinction
01:51:45 - Oh, my God.
01:51:48 - Very mad!
01:51:50 I'm mad! You know why? Because next,
01:51:55 Doesn't it make you mad that
01:51:59 Ooh! "Planet of the Apes": Who gets the role?
01:52:05 - I'd be better than Charlton Heston!
01:52:09 You could fly to Persia on that rug.
01:52:25 - Shall we tell them where we'll be tomorrow?
01:52:29 Tomorrow, poppets,
01:52:32 But you don't have to pack
01:52:36 We're going across the Atlantic Ocean
01:52:41 - You came from England?
01:52:44 - Do you know about England?
01:52:47 It's an island, dear. A glorious one.
01:52:49 - They have a queen and a royal family.
01:52:54 - It's a full house.
01:52:57 Thanks to mobile phones.
01:53:00 Do you know what language
01:53:03 - Pakistani?
01:53:07 But we'll get into that tomorrow,
01:53:10 - You owe me a kiss, Kovacs.
01:53:13 - All right, dear.
01:53:15 - And here's a monkey bite!
01:53:21 Well, that's all for today. Bye-bye.
01:53:24 Cut!
01:53:27 That's a wrap, folks! Thank you very much.
01:53:34 We're a smash! Number one in our time slot!
01:53:39 Yes! Calls from Detroit, Cleveland,
01:53:43 - All with offers to syndicate.
01:53:46 Daniel?
01:53:48 Yes?
01:53:49 - Miranda.
01:53:56 Yeah.
01:53:57 I'll be right out. Just wait here.
01:54:22 Welcome to Euphegenia's house.
01:54:25 A little drafty but...
01:54:31 What can I do for you?
01:54:35 First of all, congratulations on the show.
01:54:37 Thanks. You got to see the dress rehearsal.
01:54:42 We've... The kids...
01:54:45 We've been watching every day.
01:54:49 It's nice to know they can see me every day.
01:54:55 Look, Daniel. I know it's gonna take
01:55:00 all the horrible things
01:55:03 It's... It's so hard.
01:55:07 But I know somehow you and I will be
01:55:14 But the kids...
01:55:20 I don't wanna hurt our children.
01:55:24 So what do you want me to do?
01:55:26 You want me to pretend everything's
01:55:33 Jesus, Miranda.
01:55:36 I can only see them now with supervision.
01:55:38 Some woman watches me with the kids
01:55:42 If I try to hug 'em, she wonders why.
01:55:46 You just sat there in that courtroom and
01:55:51 - I was angry.
01:55:54 - You hurt me, too!
01:55:57 You lied... You know what?
01:56:00 I don't wanna do any more
01:56:07 Ever since this happened,
01:56:10 And the only thing I know in my heart
01:56:14 when Mrs Doubtfire
01:56:17 Yeah?
01:56:20 She... brought out the best in them.
01:56:24 - She brought out the best in you.
01:56:33 They miss her terribly.
01:56:38 - What are you saying?
01:56:51 I need them.
01:56:59 Well, tomorrow we'll have Frank,
01:57:04 A big knock at the door.
01:57:06 Who could that be?
01:57:10 Mr Sprinkles, boys and girls!
01:57:13 Hello! What do you have for me today?
01:57:16 Mrs Doubtflier,
01:57:21 It's the new baby-sitter.
01:57:24 Come on, guys! Get up! Let's go!
01:57:29 Come on.
01:57:32 It's gonna be all right.
01:57:34 Chris, wait right over there. Everybody.
01:57:48 Daddy!
01:57:52 Hi.
01:57:55 - What's goin' on?
01:57:59 Your dad's gonna take you
01:58:04 Really?
01:58:06 What about the courts? That legal stuff.
01:58:09 - Ask your mom.
01:58:13 No more supervised visits.
01:58:17 - Just us?
01:58:31 Go get Mr Bear.
01:58:34 - Go get your stuff. Hurry up.
01:58:41 - Would you like to come in?
01:58:45 OK.
01:58:49 Thank you.
01:58:57 See ya.
01:59:03 "Dear Mrs Doubtfire - Two months ago
01:59:08 "Now they live in different houses. "
01:59:11 "My brother Andrew says that we aren't
01:59:16 "Did I lose my family?"
01:59:18 "Is there anything I could do
01:59:23 "Sincerely, Katie McCormick. "
01:59:28 Oh, my dear Katie.
01:59:31 You know, some parents get along
01:59:37 They don't fight all the time
01:59:41 Much better mommies and daddies for you.
01:59:44 And sometimes they get back together.
01:59:48 And sometimes they don't, dear.
01:59:51 And if they don't,
01:59:53 don't blame yourself.
01:59:56 Just because they don't love each other
02:00:02 There are all sorts of
02:00:05 Some families have one mommy,
02:00:10 or two families.
02:00:12 Some children live with their uncle or aunt.
02:00:15 Some live with their grandparents,
02:00:20 Some live in separate homes
02:00:23 in different areas of the country.
02:00:25 They may not see each other for days,
02:00:32 But if there's love, dear,
02:00:36 those are the ties that bind.
02:00:39 And you'll have a family
02:00:45 All my love to you, poppet.
02:00:47 You're going to be all right.
02:00:52 Bye-bye.