My Life In Ruins

en
00:00:53 GEORGIA: Greece.
00:00:56 People come here from all over
00:01:02 to see the ancient ruins.
00:01:06 To bask in history.
00:01:11 To be a part of the birthplace
00:01:16 People reconnect with their souls.
00:01:21 They find their mojo.
00:01:28 In Greece, it's called kefi,
00:01:30 which means "passion, joy, spirit. "
00:01:37 (EXCLAIMS)
00:01:38 Late!
00:01:40 (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
00:01:41 GEORGIA: Goodbye, Genaki.
00:01:42 (GENAKI SPEAKING GREEK)
00:01:44 GEORGIA: In a week.
00:01:47 -GENAKI: Bravo. Where is the rent?
00:01:50 (GEORGIA SPEAKING GREEK)
00:01:56 (GREETING IN GREEK)
00:01:57 GEORGIA: Now, me, I love the beauty
00:02:03 But living in modern Greece
00:02:06 (HORN HONKING)
00:02:07 Sometimes things go fast.
00:02:11 Most times,
00:02:15 not so much.
00:02:17 I came here a year ago to teach
00:02:21 Cutbacks left me without a job.
00:02:26 I work at Pangloss Tours.
00:02:28 Georgia!
00:02:30 Oh, yeah. I've hit rock bottom.
00:02:39 Georgia. Again you cut out beach day.
00:02:42 They can go to the beach in any country.
00:02:44 On my tour,
00:02:47 Nobody comes to Greece to learn.
00:02:50 Maria, I disagree.
00:02:58 -It's open.
00:03:06 Don't you read the evaluations?
00:03:08 "What do you think of Georgia
00:03:11 "Average. Average. Average."
00:03:15 So I'm average.
00:03:16 Average is the lowest box you can check.
00:03:18 Do you think we have
00:03:21 And if we did, you'd be stinks.
00:03:23 -"I find your tour boring."
00:03:27 I think I've guided, like, 34 tours
00:03:29 and you give me the same tourists
00:03:32 Look! There they are.
00:03:37 -The Obnoxious Americans.
00:03:41 GEORGIA: The Miserable Marriages.
00:03:44 The Disgusted-With-Men-
00:03:48 -Stop!
00:03:52 -I don't see Mr. Funny.
00:03:55 There's always one annoying guy
00:04:00 Canadians. Polite Canadians.
00:04:04 -Can I have them?
00:04:05 They're in Group A. Nico's group.
00:04:07 GEORGIA: Why does Nico
00:04:10 His evaluations don't say, "Average."
00:04:13 (SIGHS)
00:04:14 God!
00:04:16 By the way,
00:04:20 -Excellent.
00:04:22 -I'm being sarcastic.
00:04:27 -Who's my driver? Not Themio.
00:04:30 You got the substitute. Procopi.
00:04:33 The creepy, hairy, creepy guy?
00:04:36 He's right behind me, isn't he?
00:04:42 -Does he speak English?
00:04:45 Maybe they caught a bear.
00:04:48 (MARIA LAUGHS)
00:04:50 So I have rules. You cannot speed,
00:04:52 you cannot smoke
00:05:00 Great, he doesn't speak English.
00:05:03 Don't forget to brush him.
00:05:05 -Maria! Maria!
00:05:12 Hey, thank you for my group, eh? Whoa!
00:05:16 He bribes you for the good group?
00:05:18 -No.
00:05:20 Oh.
00:05:29 That girl. That girl has no kefi.
00:05:33 What Greek does not have spirit, eh?
00:05:37 Maybe she's half Greek.
00:05:39 This was supposed to be temporary while
00:05:42 And now no one will hire her
00:05:46 Hey, if I make her quit, can I have a raise?
00:05:51 I don't want to know about it. Yes.
00:06:01 -Group B! Group B, everyone.
00:06:04 Group B, hello, I'm Georgia.
00:06:08 I'm Irv Giddeon,
00:06:11 and I've come here to see
00:06:14 And judging from your husband,
00:06:18 (LAUGHING)
00:06:21 There you are! And, indeed, funny.
00:06:25 I'm killing me.
00:06:27 How many of you, like me, have come here
00:06:29 to fondle as many nude statues
00:06:33 -Half the reason I came.
00:06:35 Jeez. This is comedy.
00:06:40 It's like mustaches on women.
00:06:44 You know, we left Adelaide last night
00:06:49 30 hours later, she's right on the bugle.
00:06:51 I'm giving it liquid yawns in the dunnies.
00:06:54 -It was a shocker, Barry.
00:06:55 -Are they speaking words?
00:06:58 but you can only understand
00:07:01 ...a bad case of the trots
00:07:04 It's the last time I ate fish.
00:07:07 (EXCLAIMS)
00:07:08 Excuse me. Is this Pangloss Tours?
00:07:12 Group B?
00:07:14 Sweet marble cake, she speaks American.
00:07:18 Okay. Ha-ha!
00:07:20 -Okay, everybody, let's get on the bus.
00:07:23 Okay, Group B, got your tickets?
00:07:29 (DOOR SCREECHES)
00:07:35 Spooky.
00:07:38 Okay. Now make sure that your luggage
00:07:43 -Okay, you got me.
00:07:45 -That's okay. Dr. Tullen?
00:07:50 I am Dr. Tullen.
00:07:53 -Do smile, darling.
00:07:55 Hey, big fellow, how many bells
00:07:58 What the hell? What the hell is he saying?
00:08:00 Oh, wake up, Australia.
00:08:04 -See, if it's...
00:08:05 ...10 hours ahead here,
00:08:09 Kimmy, what time is it back in the States?
00:08:11 -The right time.
00:08:14 Kim and AI Sawchuck. S-A-W-Chuck.
00:08:17 -Come on, Al. Come on, Big Al.
00:08:19 -Okay. How are you?
00:08:20 Okay, there you go. There you go.
00:08:25 There's no smoking on the bus.
00:08:33 -I have a question.
00:08:35 What's with the beekeeper?
00:08:38 My wife needs protection from the sun.
00:08:41 But we're not going to the sun.
00:08:43 (CHUCKLING)
00:08:44 That man is so rude. Make it stop.
00:08:54 Excuse me, ladies. Hey, there.
00:08:56 I'm Marc Mallard. IHOP.
00:08:59 That's the International House
00:09:02 Did one of you lose this?
00:09:05 Thank you, Marc. I must have dropped it.
00:09:09 It looks like a raspberry waffle.
00:09:12 -Or a tart.
00:09:16 Hi. I'm Lena María Angustias
00:09:21 And she's Lala Cruz.
00:09:22 -LENA: We're from España.
00:09:24 -Yeah.
00:09:26 -And we are both recently divorced.
00:09:30 Hmm.
00:09:32 Hi. I'm Marc Mallard. IHOP.
00:09:34 Hello. Georgia Yanokoupolis.
00:09:39 -I'll see you on the bus.
00:09:43 Group B? Yes. Names.
00:09:47 You don't speak English, do you?
00:09:50 And Maria gave you to me.
00:09:54 Luggage this way.
00:09:57 -Excuse me. I'm looking for the bus.
00:10:01 -This is it.
00:10:05 -Oh, cool.
00:10:07 Hey, Gator Phillips.
00:10:09 -I'm from Florida, the States.
00:10:14 No way, man.
00:10:19 -We are in Greece.
00:10:23 Right on. Thanks, man.
00:10:26 -Okay, here you go.
00:10:29 -Yeah.
00:10:34 (GREETS IN GREEK)
00:10:35 Kalimera, everyone.
00:10:38 Hello, beautiful people. I am Nico.
00:10:42 For you, warm loucoumades.
00:10:45 Oh, I'm so sorry. Wrong bus.
00:10:50 -KIM: Hey, wait a minute...
00:10:52 MARC: What a rip!
00:10:53 I'm gonna get... I could get you some later,
00:10:57 -Yeah...
00:10:58 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:10:59 Let's go.
00:11:01 I mean, who needs the carbs, right?
00:11:03 Not me. My ankles swell from the wheat.
00:11:06 (GEARS GRINDING)
00:11:08 Okay, you might want to write this down.
00:11:13 In 1834, Athens became
00:11:18 Now, I'm not just a tour guide.
00:11:22 MAN 1: Oh, great!
00:11:24 So I'm going to teach you
00:11:27 and monuments of ancient Greece.
00:11:29 -Like the propylea.
00:11:32 (ALL LAUGHING)
00:11:36 -My name is Georgia.
00:11:38 -My name is Georgia.
00:11:41 I'm Dorcas, Dorcas Wilmore.
00:11:44 And this is my husband, Barnaby.
00:11:47 Oh, I've got everyone a little souvenir.
00:11:51 -To remember our trip together.
00:11:53 -MAN 2: Oh, you shouldn't have.
00:11:56 Oh, no, it was nothing.
00:11:59 Hand those around, would you, dear?
00:12:03 Guide, this bus is really stuffy.
00:12:06 -My daughter, Caitlin, needs fresh air.
00:12:11 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:12:13 (AIR VENTS WHIRRING)
00:12:15 Uh-oh.
00:12:16 (ALL COUGHING)
00:12:20 -Turn it off!
00:12:22 (SHOUTING IN GREEK)
00:12:26 Smells like death.
00:12:31 GEORGIA: Sorry about that.
00:12:32 -Angie?
00:12:34 Is the Sasquatch gonna be
00:12:38 -He's the driver.
00:12:41 Right. Everyone,
00:12:44 -Hey, Procopi.
00:12:47 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:12:49 Oh, I'm sorry. He has a nickname
00:12:53 Poupi.
00:12:55 Did he just say, "Poop"?
00:12:56 Fair suck of the sav,
00:12:59 What's your last name?
00:13:01 (GEORGIA SPEAKING GREEK)
00:13:09 It's Kakas.
00:13:11 (SNIGGERING)
00:13:12 (ALL LAUGHING)
00:13:19 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:13:20 They're laughing at your name.
00:13:22 So what? Laughing is good.
00:13:28 (BUS RATTLING)
00:13:44 -Okay! Yeah.
00:13:47 (PEOPLE LAUGHING)
00:13:48 Come, come, come.
00:13:51 GEORGIA: All right, everybody,
00:13:54 Well, I have an exciting day planned.
00:13:58 Whenever we stop the bus, whether it be
00:14:02 the driver or I will lock the bus. So you
00:14:06 Cameras, sweaters, handbags, anything.
00:14:09 -What about sweaters?
00:14:11 -Handbags?
00:14:13 Cameras, too?
00:14:15 Cameras, too.
00:14:19 -Anything.
00:14:23 GEORGIA: We are now walking through
00:14:27 Okay. The Greek word "agora "
00:14:30 and in ancient times,
00:14:33 Plato and Socrates taught philosophy here.
00:14:35 -MAN 1: She still talking?
00:14:37 -Yes.
00:14:38 -Is there, like, a mini-mart around here?
00:14:40 I thought this was
00:14:42 -If you go back to...
00:14:44 I have a surprise for you. Look. Hey!
00:14:47 Come, beautiful people. Who wants to be
00:14:50 -Photo op here.
00:14:52 -Come on.
00:14:53 -BIG AL: I wish I was over there.
00:14:56 -That's the good group.
00:14:57 There's a god with a camera. He's a very
00:15:00 (ALL LAUGH)
00:15:02 All right, we're going to
00:15:05 It's an exciting chapter in history.
00:15:09 BIG AL: I'd rather get my picture taken
00:15:11 GEORGIA: It's this way. Come on.
00:15:17 The Temple of Hephaestus,
00:15:19 -built between 460 and 415...
00:15:22 -We're excited!
00:15:24 -I'm not sure if they allow beer here.
00:15:26 -Okay. There's a trash can over there.
00:15:28 Built between 460 and 415 B.C...
00:15:31 This place looks just like
00:15:34 -No, actually, I'm sure it doesn't.
00:15:37 (LAUGHING) Al and his crew could have
00:15:40 Dry wall, new roof, walk-in closets.
00:15:43 -Flip that house!
00:15:45 (ALL LAUGHING)
00:15:48 That's a joke. I'm sure that's a joke,
00:15:50 because making it new
00:15:53 The point is, it's ancient.
00:15:56 It's ancient. I mean, look at it.
00:16:01 Isn't it magnificent?
00:16:03 Come this way, beautiful people.
00:16:08 Now come around. Please, come around.
00:16:10 So come around, please.
00:16:14 -It's very nice, yes?
00:16:16 Enough culture. Now, souvenirs, yes?
00:16:19 Who wants that temple made of soap?
00:16:23 -Temple on a rope, yeah?
00:16:26 No, no, that's not authentic.
00:16:28 -You don't want that.
00:16:29 Hey, Group B.
00:16:32 Nico, what are you doing?
00:16:34 No, Group B, you're with me.
00:16:35 I've an hour of shopping
00:16:40 -MAN 2: This way, hon.
00:16:42 Come this way, follow the pretty ladies.
00:16:46 Meet back at the bus in 40 minutes.
00:16:52 Standing in the middle
00:16:55 and they want a 50-50 poly-cotton blend
00:17:10 Why am I spending my life
00:17:12 gorgeous ancient ruins
00:17:15 And Pangloss Tours pays lousy.
00:17:20 I don't have any friends here.
00:17:23 Really, I haven't had sex in forever.
00:17:27 -Forever is a long time.
00:17:34 -You speak English.
00:17:37 I do, too.
00:17:40 42 euros.
00:17:42 That's great. Anybody else?
00:17:46 Excellent. Excuse me. Nice to meet you.
00:17:52 -You must think I'm crazy.
00:17:56 Fair enough. Why would you not tell me?
00:18:00 I thought you needed to talk.
00:18:06 Do you ever question
00:18:08 -No.
00:18:11 -Talk more about the no sex.
00:18:14 You don't question? Come on,
00:18:17 Yes. But that is their job.
00:18:21 You know, it pays better.
00:18:23 Come on. You don't have a life plan?
00:18:25 -How do you plan life?
00:18:29 Come on.
00:18:32 What? We're working.
00:18:34 Everyone should take the time for a coffee.
00:18:36 That is the typical Greek mentality.
00:18:39 Woman. Where's your kefi?
00:18:42 -I have kefi. I have lots of kefi.
00:18:45 -No, you don't. No.
00:18:47 That's why you're so uptight and skinny.
00:18:51 Skinny?
00:18:55 Look, we're late, so no coffee. Hey.
00:18:58 Everybody in Nico's group
00:19:01 You want to have relation with me?
00:19:03 What's that postcard there?
00:19:05 SHOPKEEPER: Which one? Which side
00:19:10 Oh, that's nice. Good.
00:19:16 Group B!
00:19:19 Group B!
00:19:21 Gather up, Group B.
00:19:22 Well, we're a little behind schedule.
00:19:26 I picked up something
00:19:28 And it is a special treat.
00:19:31 -What is that?
00:19:33 -It's meat on a stick.
00:19:36 It looks like poodle.
00:19:38 (ALL GROAN)
00:19:39 -That's not right.
00:19:41 Hey. Hey, come to the Hard Rock Cafe.
00:19:45 -Dude, Hard Rock!
00:19:47 Chicken fingers and French fries!
00:19:50 No, no.
00:19:53 I have souvlaki.
00:19:55 I have souvlaki.
00:19:56 Yeah. Get a Greek salad.
00:19:59 Hard Rock.
00:20:04 -Hi, it's Caitlin, right? Having fun?
00:20:10 -Well, what are you listening to?
00:20:14 -When are we going to the beach?
00:20:18 Of course not. This sucks.
00:20:21 Sorry about that.
00:20:23 My daughter's chronically unhappy.
00:20:27 Hansdorf syndrome.
00:20:30 Mr. Tullen, I'm so sorry.
00:20:43 GEORGIA: Okay, let's learn some
00:20:45 Kalispera, kalispera, everyone.
00:20:49 (SIGHS)
00:20:50 Can you say it with me?
00:20:52 (ALL MUMBLING IN BROKEN GREEK)
00:20:55 Wow. Are you sure you're not Greek?
00:21:27 Hey, Georgia.
00:21:36 I'm sorry. I got sunblock in my eye.
00:21:40 I do.
00:21:47 (ENGINE RATTLING)
00:22:00 NICO: This way, please. Beautiful people.
00:22:04 What is this place?
00:22:06 Hey, hey, hey, Georgia, Georgia.
00:22:09 -You're staying there?
00:22:12 No way! Great hotel. Best chain in Greece.
00:22:17 This way, please, Canadians.
00:22:20 Everybody got your luggage?
00:22:22 Wow. What a dump.
00:22:26 Only about 3 at a time are
00:22:30 Oh, Al, honey. We gotta get to the room.
00:22:34 Kimmy, you know I can't perform
00:22:39 Get into them. It's duck's guts.
00:22:41 Crack open a tinny, love. After all
00:22:44 Actually, I'm a lightweight.
00:22:46 One drink and I'm looking
00:22:50 -That was a joke.
00:22:54 I've heard.
00:22:55 (ALL CHATTERING)
00:22:59 Just a converter?
00:23:02 Okay, I can get you water,
00:23:05 (ELEVATOR DINGS)
00:23:06 Here we go. Okay.
00:23:07 Come on, Barnaby. That's right. In you go.
00:23:10 There you go.
00:23:12 (ELEVATOR DINGS)
00:23:41 (EXCLAIMS IN GREEK)
00:23:42 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:23:43 Your elevator is broken.
00:23:47 Anthony Quinn.
00:23:58 We have to take the stairs.
00:24:03 -Why?
00:24:09 In the movie Zorba the Greek, the scene
00:24:11 have just lost all their life savings.
00:24:17 That's the way this whole country works.
00:24:20 If the shower doesn't work...
00:24:21 (SCREAMS)
00:24:22 I'm sorry.
00:24:24 ...they dance.
00:24:26 Or you want a little privacy,
00:24:28 (BOTH SCREAM)
00:24:29 (EXCLAIMS)
00:24:31 they dance.
00:24:33 I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry.
00:24:38 Or, God forbid, the toilet breaks...
00:24:42 Oh, flapjacks.
00:24:44 ...you get the Greek philosophy.
00:24:46 (IN GREEK ACCENT) "Relax, pee outside.
00:24:49 "Maybe it is your destiny
00:24:52 And then they dance.
00:24:56 You know, Greece was
00:25:01 It was the birthplace of art
00:25:04 And then they discovered the nap.
00:25:06 (PANTING)
00:25:13 This country's disregard for rules
00:25:20 What is with this hair? Is it a full moon?
00:25:26 You know, you've all just got to get
00:25:34 (GROANS)
00:25:35 Where's my fleabag of a room?
00:25:45 It's fixed.
00:25:54 Yeah.
00:26:05 (SIGHS)
00:26:11 (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
00:26:32 (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
00:26:34 Now what?
00:26:38 (PHONE RINGS)
00:26:41 -Maria!
00:26:44 I'm up to my ears in work here.
00:26:46 Greece has
00:26:49 (TOILET FLUSHING)
00:26:51 Like, first-class hotels with, like,
00:26:53 your own swimming pool in your room.
00:26:55 How do you find these crappy joints?
00:26:57 Lucky I find somewhere.
00:26:59 Yeah, you try finding a hotel
00:27:01 Maria...
00:27:08 Dear Maria,
00:27:11 you are my only friend in Greece.
00:27:17 After this tour,
00:27:23 I quit.
00:27:27 Love, Georgia.
00:27:29 (ELECTRIC SAW BUZZING)
00:27:33 Breakfast is on negative one,
00:27:36 Oh, cool.
00:27:42 Would you please mail this for me?
00:27:46 -I am on my coffee break.
00:28:00 (GREETING IN GREEK)
00:28:09 -11 euros.
00:28:13 You know, there are other ways to pay.
00:28:30 Does that ever work?
00:28:33 How many women have
00:28:40 4.
00:28:42 Oh.
00:28:44 I'll just pay.
00:28:50 (GREEK SONG PLA YING)
00:29:12 (GROANS IN DISGUST)
00:29:16 So we have here a beautiful church.
00:29:20 But you have ice creams, so we skip. Yes?
00:29:24 -ALL: Yeah.
00:29:25 ALL: (EXCITEDLY) Yeah!
00:29:27 GEORGIA:...rocks cut in the Byzantine era.
00:29:31 There are references to this church
00:29:34 called the Praktikon of Athens.
00:29:37 Take a glance and look around
00:29:39 The oldest parts of St. Marina's date back
00:29:47 (SPEAKING SPANISH)
00:29:48 (SPEAKING SPANISH)
00:29:49 Anybody else want a pamphlet?
00:29:53 Yes. Of course not.
00:29:55 BIG AL: Kimmy, do you see what I see?
00:29:58 (EXCLAIMING)
00:30:01 That would be a great place for snacks
00:30:07 -Do you think it's for sale?
00:30:11 Let's go find that preacher.
00:30:14 I think they call him a rabbi here.
00:30:16 We have to have photographs
00:30:19 Who won't believe we were here?
00:30:20 Well, Donald and Peggy for a start. What?
00:30:23 Why don't you all get in there?
00:30:25 Oh, that's very good of you.
00:30:27 IRV: You're welcome.
00:30:28 MR. TULLEN: He's going to take
00:30:29 IRV: Okay, here we go.
00:30:33 1, 2, 3.
00:30:37 4, 5, 6...
00:30:40 Sorry, how high are you going?
00:30:41 I'm going to keep counting
00:30:44 Forgot where I left off. Gotta start again.
00:30:48 1, 2...
00:30:49 Just take the picture, you idiot.
00:30:56 There you go, kiddo.
00:30:58 (WHISTLING)
00:31:01 Oh, my God!
00:31:03 DR. TULLEN: Georgia!
00:31:06 Hey, Poupi, if anybody's looking...
00:31:09 -Never mind. I'm not here, okay? I'm just...
00:31:13 I cannot put up with that twit any longer.
00:31:15 -Why not? I have to.
00:31:18 Yes, fine, I'm rude and boring
00:31:22 If you keep that tone with me,
00:31:25 Okay, you know what?
00:31:27 If you have a grievance, use these.
00:31:30 -Your evaluation forms. Take one.
00:31:33 GEORGIA: I usually hand these out
00:31:35 But this will give you 4 more days
00:31:38 Hey, hand them out to everybody.
00:31:40 What's Greek for "bipolar"?
00:31:42 (ALL LAUGHING)
00:31:44 Hey. Enough. Your jokes aren't funny.
00:31:51 You know, my wife and I have
00:31:55 This one, gotta be the worst.
00:31:58 Here we go again. Yeah, yeah,
00:31:59 -I know, yeah, I stink, I wrecked Greece.
00:32:03 -And it's just not the same.
00:32:05 I wouldn't be here with you, either.
00:32:07 I'm sure she's spending her vacation
00:32:22 I'm so sorry.
00:32:44 You know what?
00:32:47 -Lovely. Just what we wanted, wasn't it?
00:32:51 DORCAS: Nice bit of shopping.
00:32:54 -I know a good place for shopping.
00:33:00 Look at this stuff.
00:33:04 No, no, no.
00:33:10 Peekaboo!
00:33:15 Do you like the gold?
00:33:17 I love that.
00:33:18 She doesn't have any arms so she makes
00:33:23 Really?
00:33:27 (LAUGHING)
00:33:32 GATOR: Eat hearty, men.
00:33:34 -For tonight we dine in Greece!
00:33:39 (EXCLAIMING)
00:33:45 -What was his name?
00:33:48 When it's over,
00:33:50 Some women run away to Greece. So...
00:33:52 I did not move to Greece
00:33:56 -Why? Who'd you shave for?
00:34:00 Georgia, come here,
00:34:01 I don't think I like
00:34:03 (SHOUTING IN GREEK)
00:34:06 Georgia! We need you. Just, real...
00:34:08 -Okay.
00:34:11 What's going on? What's going on?
00:34:12 Look, this guy here is charging everybody
00:34:17 and he's charging me and my wife
00:34:21 It's just cultural interaction.
00:34:22 He offers you a price and then
00:34:26 You know, it's just... It's called bargaining.
00:34:28 -It's called "rip-off."
00:34:31 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:34:34 -What did he just call me?
00:34:36 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:34:37 You fat tourists.
00:34:41 My tourist friends.
00:34:43 I could give you idiots
00:34:46 authentic Greek items made
00:34:48 He could give you handmade authentic
00:34:53 But you dummies
00:34:56 You have good taste.
00:34:58 This junk is made in Korea.
00:35:00 Things are made in Corinth.
00:35:01 By prisoners.
00:35:03 By friends.
00:35:04 For you, I'll double the price.
00:35:05 I can make you a good price.
00:35:07 Yeah, that's what we want
00:35:10 And to your guide, a kickback.
00:35:12 What?
00:35:13 Kick back and enjoy your stay.
00:35:16 -Okay?
00:35:17 How much do you want for it?
00:35:18 20 euros.
00:35:20 20 euros.
00:35:21 -Is that good?
00:35:24 -Okay.
00:35:25 Okay. Okay.
00:35:28 (KIM EXCLAIMING)
00:35:34 -Nobody touches Big Al's hottie.
00:35:36 -BIG AL: Dirty greaseball.
00:35:41 How much are these?
00:35:43 Oh, good heavens. They're far too
00:35:54 Oh, yeah, we're getting checked out, dude.
00:35:57 -Really?
00:36:00 It's only a matter of time before
00:36:06 -Dude, behind you.
00:36:09 They're checking out
00:36:14 It's like 4th of July
00:36:16 Okay. They want a show?
00:36:18 Let's show the Spaniards
00:36:32 (GRUNTING)
00:36:36 (GIGGLING)
00:36:42 It doesn't count
00:36:49 What is it with tourists and ice cream?
00:36:51 They had some this morning,
00:36:56 and now again with the $4 cones.
00:37:02 -No, thank you.
00:37:13 Okay, fine.
00:37:24 I sort of got you this.
00:37:27 Thanks, but no thanks.
00:37:36 That is tasty.
00:37:53 I'm sorry about this morning.
00:38:01 You know, I was a much nicer guy
00:38:06 She died 3 years ago.
00:38:09 She used to say to me,
00:38:16 She would say, "You're not as funny
00:38:22 It's nice you had a good marriage.
00:38:25 We fought every day.
00:38:27 I took her to Egypt. We fought all day
00:38:30 about whether the pyramids
00:38:35 (CHUCKLING)
00:38:38 It was magic.
00:38:42 28 years.
00:38:45 I woke up every day smiling.
00:38:51 -I could live with that.
00:38:54 All you gotta do is let it happen.
00:39:00 -I'm open.
00:39:03 You're as tight as my Aunt Gladys' ass.
00:39:08 -Hey.
00:39:10 (EXHALES)
00:39:12 -Be alert. Be like...
00:39:18 Okay. I'm open, yay!
00:39:21 Oh, no, no!
00:39:24 Come on, Irv, look what you made me do.
00:39:27 (LAUGHING)
00:39:28 -GEORGIA: Okay, that's a keeper.
00:39:32 You get some kerosene.
00:39:35 -Yeah.
00:39:37 Mmm-hmm.
00:39:38 And then you light that sucker on fire
00:39:42 And then you light that sucker on fire
00:39:43 All right. I have to gather the group.
00:39:47 -We're good?
00:39:52 Okay.
00:39:56 Group B! Group B, everybody.
00:39:59 Everybody. I hope everyone enjoyed their
00:40:03 Let's get on the bus and sweat it off.
00:40:06 Has anybody seen Dorcas? Anybody?
00:40:09 All right. We'll wait for her.
00:40:25 I'd like to apologize for
00:40:29 Have you ever had one of those days?
00:40:34 -Yes, Irv.
00:40:36 I would like to apologize to everybody.
00:40:40 I take Preparation H, 'cause I'm an asshole.
00:40:43 (ALL LAUGH)
00:40:45 DORCAS: Wait for me. Thank you, Georgie.
00:40:47 I'm the last one. Okay, Poupi, let's go.
00:40:53 I got these for you, girls.
00:40:56 -It's too much.
00:41:01 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:41:07 Drive, Poupi, drive!
00:41:16 Hey! Who's seen the Olympics on TV?
00:41:23 Well, we're going to Olympia,
00:41:27 The ancient games began in 776 B.C.
00:41:30 Now, all through the era of the Pisatans...
00:41:32 Flapjack, you want to race me
00:41:35 ...the Olympic games took place
00:41:39 Here's something interesting.
00:41:40 Until they were abolished
00:41:45 And then in 1896...
00:41:49 Well, that's about the year
00:42:07 I know every fact and every figure
00:42:10 I mean, I love it here.
00:42:14 And I get it,
00:42:16 Well, if you call it a job, it ain't fun.
00:42:20 I mean, look at porn stars. They get to
00:42:24 You never hear about a happy porn star.
00:42:27 I had the best job in the whole world.
00:42:31 (LAUGHING)
00:42:32 You were a porn star?
00:42:37 -No, really, were you?
00:42:41 -Get out.
00:42:44 -I wish I had that job.
00:42:49 But then Elinor got sick.
00:42:55 I had to take care of her and...
00:42:58 She always wanted to come to Greece.
00:43:05 Hey. Yesterday, I quit. This is my last tour.
00:43:13 Well, it's my last tour, too.
00:43:16 (LAUGHS)
00:43:20 Georgie! How did these columns fall over?
00:43:26 Well, there were 2 earthquakes
00:43:28 (IRV CLEARING THROAT)
00:43:31 The columns fell over from the incredible
00:43:36 (LAUGHS) Oh!
00:43:37 Isn't that sweet?
00:43:42 -Better.
00:43:44 Looks like a short stack fell over.
00:43:47 Come on, Barnaby.
00:43:55 GEORGIA: Hey, does everybody know
00:43:58 This way. Come on, this way.
00:44:00 Okay. That flame that you saw
00:44:04 is first lit by a reflection from the sun.
00:44:07 All right, now, this is the palestra.
00:44:11 This is where the athletes would wrestle.
00:44:14 (EXCLAIMS)
00:44:24 (CHEERING)
00:44:34 What?
00:44:35 Do you need anything?
00:44:39 Doing okay? Hey!
00:44:43 -You really are listening to nothing.
00:44:47 We forgot the charger.
00:44:50 This trip sucks.
00:44:53 Caitlin?
00:44:56 It's okay. And I understand.
00:44:59 -What is it you understand?
00:45:03 -The genetic thing.
00:45:06 Sorry, your husband told me
00:45:08 that makes your daughter prickly.
00:45:12 Hansdorf syndrome.
00:45:17 Hansdorf is my maiden name.
00:45:24 (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
00:45:27 That's a coincidence.
00:45:30 DR. TULLEN: Stuart.
00:45:31 How dare you insult me
00:45:33 It was a joke, dear. Good heavens!
00:45:35 -DR. TULLEN: How could you possibly say...
00:46:00 Beautiful ladies,
00:46:03 -Yeah?
00:46:05 GEORGIA: Everybody. Everybody.
00:46:07 The newspaper says
00:46:12 And the good part is?
00:46:13 If we all think good thoughts,
00:46:16 Are you listening, God?
00:46:17 You don't have to shout,
00:46:20 (SINGING) Blue skies shining on me
00:46:26 1, 2, 3!
00:46:27 (EXCLAIMS IN GREEK)
00:46:29 No!
00:46:31 -Here you go.
00:46:32 No, no, no!
00:46:35 I'm ever so sorry,
00:46:40 -It's okay.
00:46:43 (CHEERING)
00:46:44 Kimmy, stop doing the dishes
00:46:46 Sue, bung your Khy Pass over here,
00:46:48 (SPEAKING GREEK)
00:46:51 -10 euros.
00:46:57 I say, that was ever such fun.
00:47:01 Hello. Hello, lovely lady. Thank you.
00:47:05 Silly twit.
00:47:10 Dorcas, here's the deal.
00:47:15 -I'm sorry.
00:47:19 Okay. You're a lovely woman.
00:47:24 It's just that people are going to
00:47:26 That's my cell phone.
00:47:29 I just want to ask... Wow! You're good.
00:47:34 Actually, it was only 10.
00:47:36 Well, waste not, want not, is what I say.
00:47:39 All right.
00:47:43 (SINGING) Nothing but blue skies
00:47:52 I wish I could be happy like you.
00:47:54 God, you've gotta get more sex.
00:47:57 -Irv...
00:48:00 Don't you have a boyfriend?
00:48:02 I'm on a tour bus, like,
00:48:05 Well, you gotta get in touch
00:48:10 I think we can get in here
00:48:13 Actually, there's someone
00:48:17 At the bar.
00:48:22 -Yes.
00:48:24 Go for it.
00:48:35 Just make sure it's zoned for a parking lot.
00:48:40 (GROANS)
00:48:42 I like daisies.
00:48:45 I'll call you back.
00:48:47 So do I.
00:48:49 2 Metaxa tonics, Nick.
00:48:51 So you work at an IHOP?
00:48:51 So you work at an IHOP?
00:48:53 Yeah, well, I mean, that makes it sound
00:48:56 I'm the number one
00:48:59 I sold 100 franchises last year.
00:49:01 We're expanding Ohio,
00:49:05 How do we say, "Cheers"?
00:49:08 We say, "ya mas, to our health."
00:49:10 (TOASTS IN GREEK)
00:49:15 So what do you do for fun?
00:49:18 For fun?
00:49:22 Syrup.
00:49:25 I collect vintage syrups.
00:49:29 Yeah. Some people are
00:49:33 I'm into vintage syrups.
00:49:37 you think, "Oh, my God,
00:49:40 No. The oldest I have is 1948.
00:49:42 So it's post-war, but it's still really special.
00:49:46 I mean, it's still edible. You can pote it.
00:49:49 I never watch Jeopardy!
00:49:50 Anyway, so the thing that
00:49:53 no matter how bad your day is.
00:49:55 ...a German waffle,
00:49:58 I mean, we had to have
00:50:00 because the waitresses
00:50:02 And no one wants to eat crap
00:50:06 Sometimes in Mississippi.
00:50:07 But usually you find that
00:50:09 a food that's not appetizingly named,
00:50:13 That's why I love any kind
00:50:16 Swedish crepes. It just automatically
00:50:20 My favorite, though, natural.
00:50:24 It's very, very fattening, and... Not that
00:50:28 Fat people are our biggest demographic.
00:50:30 I bought 2 houses in Florida
00:50:46 -MR. TULLEN: Good morning.
00:50:50 Mmm-hmm.
00:50:53 Georgia. Did I see you on a date last night?
00:50:58 -How was it?
00:51:01 Hey, that was fun last night.
00:51:03 -Maple trees rock.
00:51:06 Mmm-hmm.
00:51:07 NICO: Please, to the left here,
00:51:11 I see you enjoy Greece, eh?
00:51:13 -Yeah.
00:51:15 Thanks!
00:51:16 Hey, listen, I can't buy for everybody, so...
00:51:19 -Yeah. What does it say?
00:51:22 (GATOR EXCLAIMS)
00:51:24 I do, bro! Awesome! Thank you, man!
00:51:28 (SPEAKS GREEK)
00:51:29 -Let me help you.
00:51:31 I'm just helping you.
00:51:32 -Louder, please.
00:51:34 -No! I can manage. Really.
00:51:37 -Thank you.
00:51:41 Your group. Losers.
00:51:44 (MIMICS WALKER SQUEAKING)
00:51:46 "What? What?"
00:51:50 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) "So hot. So hot."
00:51:52 "How much is this? How much is that?"
00:51:56 (MIMICS WALKER SQUEAKING)
00:52:00 (LAUGHING)
00:52:04 Hello, everybody.
00:52:06 Hey!
00:52:08 Don't diss my group. They're nice people.
00:52:12 It's so cold in here.
00:52:18 (MOUTHING)
00:52:22 That's everyone. Except the Americans.
00:52:25 Al, just think. This course
00:52:31 Well, I wonder if Jesus ever played here.
00:52:34 Big Al. Kim.
00:52:37 You know how you like to get up
00:52:41 Please go on.
00:52:43 I have a very exciting idea.
00:52:48 Irv, how am I gonna do that?
00:52:49 History has got a lot of dirty stories.
00:52:55 Sex sells.
00:53:07 GEORGIA: Well, it turned out to be
00:53:10 Thanks for the nice weather, Irv.
00:53:13 (PEOPLE LAUGH)
00:53:14 Good on you, Irv.
00:53:15 I thought you were joking last night.
00:53:19 Irv, do you think you could bless Barnaby?
00:53:23 Maybe he'd move a bit faster.
00:53:25 I bless you in the name of Socrates,
00:53:30 -Hallelujah.
00:53:32 This is appropriate,
00:53:35 which is the most mystical spot
00:53:38 In ancient times, the oracle of Delphi
00:53:42 for kings and commoners, like,
00:53:47 Or other stuff.
00:53:52 Like, "Shall I take a lover?"
00:53:55 WOMAN: Hey, look out.
00:53:58 That's what we're talking about.
00:54:01 -Now, the oracle was a virgin.
00:54:04 And she was dressed in flowing gowns
00:54:09 Some say she wore nothing at all.
00:54:12 KEN: Hey, I like that.
00:54:14 KIM: Oh, my.
00:54:16 GEORGIA: And then she would inhale
00:54:18 -DORCAS: Louder, please.
00:54:21 -Louder.
00:54:26 "Oh, Zeus, fill me with your wisdom.
00:54:31 "Oh, Zeus, my body is your vessel.
00:54:39 "Take me! Take me! Take me! "
00:54:44 Poupi!
00:54:46 (HORN BLARING)
00:54:47 (TIRES SCREECHING)
00:54:54 (ALL EXCLAIMING)
00:54:57 -Caitlin, are you all right?
00:55:00 -Everybody all right?
00:55:01 Alive! Alive! Please, alive, everybody.
00:55:06 (AIR HISSING)
00:55:08 Okay. Okay.
00:55:09 Everybody, let's get off the bus, okay?
00:55:12 Okay, it's gonna be
00:55:14 Irv, Olga, Svetlana? You okay?
00:55:18 -Is everybody okay?
00:55:20 Everybody's fine,
00:55:23 You know, this whole thing happened
00:55:26 -GEORGIA: Who?
00:55:31 Creepy driver, checking out the goats.
00:55:34 Angie, everyone on the bus
00:55:37 I call it "mysterious."
00:55:40 Personally, I think he shaved his neck
00:55:43 -What?
00:55:45 Yeah, he's quiet, but he's nice.
00:55:48 Fine. Yeah, sometimes he's nice,
00:55:51 Hot, not mad.
00:55:54 -Okay. Smile, he feels terrible.
00:55:57 BIG AL: He's the one not wearing the bell.
00:55:59 -Work it. Whoo!
00:56:16 Sorry about your bus.
00:56:20 You distracted me.
00:56:26 -I was just trying to have fun.
00:56:30 That's good, I guess.
00:56:35 The first day,
00:56:37 you asked me if I wonder
00:56:41 -Yeah.
00:56:45 What do you call that guy?
00:56:48 He goes in front of people
00:56:53 We called him Uncle Phil.
00:56:56 What? No. No.
00:56:58 He's in front of the people
00:57:01 Stick! That's a conductor.
00:57:03 Right. Right. A conductor. He comes out.
00:57:07 -He waves his stick.
00:57:10 And people get to hear
00:57:14 He hears the music up close.
00:57:19 And that's what my job is like. I sit there.
00:57:22 I turn the wheel this way. Turn that way.
00:57:26 And before me comes this great vision.
00:57:31 The scenery
00:57:34 is frozen.
00:57:38 Frozen music.
00:57:42 And you know what I like?
00:57:44 You got the best seat in the house.
00:57:48 Yes.
00:58:12 Thank you.
00:58:15 I like your passion for our history.
00:58:18 But you are too busy looking up.
00:58:22 Look here.
00:58:28 I know, I'm touching your chests.
00:58:31 Good.
00:58:42 What happened with the pancake man
00:58:45 Nothing.
00:58:47 Good.
00:58:54 ALL: Yeah!
00:58:57 (ALL CHEERING)
00:59:07 GEORGIA: You can do it. Come on.
00:59:11 Take deep breaths of
00:59:15 KIM: Better than my workout at Curves.
00:59:18 -Trick or treat?
00:59:21 -Come on.
00:59:23 it's beautiful, but, come on,
00:59:26 GEORGIA: This is a very spiritual place.
00:59:29 You can actually feel the energy
00:59:32 Do you feel it? This is the temple of Apollo
00:59:36 and the sanctuary of the oracle.
00:59:39 Come on, Barnaby.
00:59:40 GEORGIA: Now, the Pythia, or the oracle,
00:59:44 except for the high priest.
00:59:47 she was hidden,
00:59:50 Like, she would go,
00:59:54 "The oracle is in. Any questions?"
00:59:58 Wasn't she a virgin?
00:59:59 (ALL EXCLAIM)
01:00:00 KEN: How's that?
01:00:02 Then maybe you better do it.
01:00:04 Yeah, go on Irv. You go in there.
01:00:07 You can't spell virgin without I-R-V.
01:00:11 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) All right,
01:00:15 -Anybody got a question?
01:00:16 Are my legs good enough for a miniskirt?
01:00:19 Hubba-hubba.
01:00:22 I've got a serious question.
01:00:24 Am I ever gonna get
01:00:26 Turn the damn phone off.
01:00:30 -I know that. All right.
01:00:32 She's got one. Yeah.
01:00:35 Why did my husband cheat on me?
01:00:38 It wasn't you he cheated.
01:00:41 Some men cheat themselves
01:00:48 Thank you.
01:00:51 Okay.
01:00:54 I've always wanted to start a family, but...
01:00:58 Well, Big Al is
01:01:02 I'm scared.
01:01:05 Being a parent is the best thing
01:01:08 And I guarantee you,
01:01:14 -See?
01:01:16 Irvacle. What is it? Orvacle.
01:01:20 Well, go on, Caitlin, ask a question.
01:01:22 -Go on. Go on.
01:01:26 Will my daughter ever stop sulking?
01:01:27 Will my parents ever stop fighting?
01:01:30 Parents sometimes forget
01:01:40 Thank you.
01:01:43 Look, basically,
01:01:46 Siph the pyth.
01:01:48 -Where's the gents'?
01:01:50 -Oh! The men's room.
01:01:52 It's right up there. Oracle closed.
01:01:55 Yay! Good job.
01:02:02 I got a bar. I got a bar! I lost it.
01:02:20 Hi, Oracle.
01:02:24 I can't start something when
01:02:28 -I mean, it's...
01:02:31 I'm looking for something.
01:02:34 -What?
01:02:37 (LAUGHING)
01:02:38 -Georgia.
01:02:40 You're looking for obstacles
01:02:54 (IRV LAUGHING)
01:02:57 (ALL CHATTERING)
01:03:01 -This place is great.
01:03:04 GEORGIA: I'm so happy to hear that.
01:03:06 Barnaby, do come on.
01:03:09 Oh, my God!
01:03:11 (EXCLAIMING)
01:03:12 Barnaby!
01:03:14 -What?
01:03:17 What? What?
01:03:18 He hasn't got his walker.
01:03:24 It's the healing powers of Delphi.
01:03:26 No, it was Irv.
01:03:28 You heard him bless Barnaby on the bus.
01:03:31 He's a miracle worker.
01:03:34 Maybe he's a god of Delphi.
01:03:36 I'm not a god.
01:03:39 (ALL LAUGHING)
01:03:41 -Okay.
01:03:44 BIG AL: To the bus!
01:03:50 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
01:03:52 Sexy! Very nice.
01:03:55 -Let's go again!
01:03:58 GATOR: I've never even seen
01:04:09 -You look beautiful!
01:04:12 -Is it new?
01:04:15 Do I have a tag? Anywhere?
01:04:17 -No.
01:04:20 Poupi?
01:04:23 You ever kill a man?
01:04:34 -He nodded.
01:04:36 -I saw him nod.
01:04:37 -That's $700.
01:04:40 BIG AL: No, I saw him nod.
01:04:43 You looking for somebody?
01:04:47 No.
01:04:48 Really? Me, neither.
01:04:54 Irv, don't you think everyone in the group
01:05:01 -Yes, I do.
01:05:06 Or maybe you're God?
01:05:08 -Georgia.
01:05:09 I haven't made a number 2
01:05:12 If I was God, I would fix that first.
01:05:15 Okay, maybe you're not the God,
01:05:17 Like Zeus or Apollo.
01:05:19 -That's true.
01:05:20 -No, no. No, I'm Zeus.
01:05:22 I'm Zeus.
01:05:26 -Irv, you know what? I can't.
01:05:30 -Where are you going?
01:05:32 But the guy that you're not looking for
01:05:37 -Okay.
01:05:38 What?
01:05:40 I think you have a bigger problem.
01:05:42 Yeah, Greece!
01:05:46 Oh!
01:05:54 Oh...
01:05:59 Hey, Gator!
01:06:02 Hey! Georgia!
01:06:03 Georgia, I've been kicking
01:06:06 -Asses!
01:06:09 Hey, where'd you get this shirt?
01:06:11 -You like it?
01:06:12 -That guy Nico gave it to me.
01:06:14 -He's so cool!
01:06:17 -Yeah! It's got, "I love Greece! "
01:06:20 (WHISPERING)
01:06:32 Excuse me.
01:06:33 -Greek toes taste funny to you, hey?
01:06:37 GEORGIA: No, no, no, no.
01:06:39 (SPEAKING GREEK)
01:06:40 Orgy!
01:06:41 I get the tour guide!
01:06:45 Gator!
01:06:49 50 on Gator.
01:06:50 Gator!
01:06:57 (POUPI PLAYING GUITAR SOFTLY)
01:07:14 -Hello.
01:07:18 -You want to sit?
01:07:20 -Let me.
01:07:25 I just wanted to tell you that I really liked
01:07:34 It was poetry.
01:07:36 -(LAUGHING) No, it wasn't.
01:07:38 -Where did you learn English?
01:07:44 Of course.
01:07:46 Wait. What should we drink to?
01:07:49 It's my birthday in 6 months.
01:07:53 You will be 25?
01:07:55 Yes, I will.
01:08:07 So... Oh!
01:08:15 Thank you. I should eat more fruit.
01:08:22 It's really good.
01:08:27 So I just wanted to tell you...
01:08:32 You're such a nice guy. And I'm...
01:08:38 This can't happen.
01:08:39 But it must.
01:08:44 Yeah, when I thought
01:08:46 You know what?
01:08:49 because this whole moving here
01:08:52 to be brave and spontaneous, and...
01:08:57 Okay.
01:09:02 (EXCLAIMING)
01:09:04 You know,
01:09:08 you know, jump into a thing, thing?
01:09:11 -Georgia?
01:09:14 Your butt is too small.
01:09:16 That did it.
01:09:45 Is this the first time you made love
01:09:48 No. This was the third time.
01:09:51 -What?
01:09:53 The first time was 2 hours ago
01:09:58 -Second time, elevator.
01:10:01 Yeah.
01:10:04 (THUDDING)
01:10:06 What was that?
01:10:08 The Tullens?
01:10:10 Let's go find out.
01:10:12 -Come on. Come on. Come on.
01:10:20 (DOOR OPENING)
01:10:24 -Hi.
01:10:29 -Hi.
01:10:35 -Hi.
01:10:41 -Hi.
01:10:46 Hi.
01:10:47 -Hi.
01:10:49 Hi.
01:10:51 -What time is it?
01:10:54 I have to drive.
01:10:57 Irv! I don't know how you do it.
01:11:01 (IN ACCENT) Little blue pill. Pfizer make it.
01:11:07 I'm sweating.
01:11:08 Oh! Hello.
01:11:11 Hot in your rooms, too, is it?
01:11:15 GEORGIA: Yeah, it's hot. It's...
01:11:19 -Dorcas?
01:11:21 -Irv, do you wanna do something crazy?
01:11:25 A little swap.
01:11:28 I think I'm gonna need another blue pill.
01:11:30 Not that kind of swap!
01:11:37 Poor Nico. Did you hurt your lip?
01:11:41 No, it's nothing.
01:11:42 You hurt your head.
01:11:44 Poor Nico, let me kiss it better.
01:11:51 Now I'll buy us all a drink. Waiter!
01:12:08 Yes.
01:12:12 (SPEAKING SPANISH)
01:12:29 I feel so tired.
01:12:32 -Good night.
01:12:35 Good night.
01:12:39 Good night, you two.
01:12:50 (WHISTLING)
01:12:59 -Good morning, good morning.
01:13:03 Good morning.
01:13:04 -Hey!
01:13:06 Gotcha.
01:13:08 -Irv.
01:13:11 -Good morning.
01:13:13 Okay. Right back at you.
01:13:14 -Hot today, huh, Nico?
01:13:17 IRV: Yo, Gator.
01:13:20 GATOR: Morning, gang!
01:13:21 Georgia. How are you this morning?
01:13:25 -Fine, thank you. And how are you?
01:13:32 8:00 a.m. and already hot?
01:13:36 Good morning, Caitlin.
01:13:45 -Poupi, do you know of a close beach?
01:13:50 And do you have any
01:13:54 -Of course.
01:13:57 -Good.
01:13:59 -Yes.
01:14:00 I like to keep my options open.
01:14:08 Wow! Is it hot, huh? Sorry about that.
01:14:14 Poupi? What do you say we try the AC?
01:14:17 (ALL MUTTERING)
01:14:19 -Are you sure?
01:14:21 MR. TULLEN: Oh, no, please.
01:14:22 I don't want to be asphyxiated
01:14:26 Well, Irv?
01:14:30 Boogie-woogie, bully-bully.
01:14:36 (VENTS HUMMING)
01:14:38 Hey, it works!
01:14:41 That's lovely.
01:14:42 That's great, Irvinator.
01:14:44 (ALL CHEERING)
01:14:47 We've got a packed schedule today.
01:14:50 a tour of a monastery,
01:14:57 But we're not doing any of that.
01:15:04 -Yeah!
01:15:07 Hit it, Poupi.
01:15:11 And now we dance.
01:15:13 (DREAM DANCEPLAYING)
01:15:16 GATOR: Georgia's got some moves!
01:15:18 -Here we go.
01:15:20 -Come on, come on. Up you get.
01:15:24 Come on! Everybody up!
01:15:29 (ALL WHOOPING)
01:15:44 (LAUGHS MIRTHLESSLY)
01:15:51 GEORGIA: This is great!
01:15:53 (ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
01:15:57 (GOT 2 B LUVPLAYING)
01:16:01 And go!
01:16:03 Come on! Come on! Come on!
01:16:06 (ALL SHOUTING EXCITEDLY)
01:16:11 (SINGING) I've got money in my pocket
01:16:13 I've got loving in the air
01:16:15 There is nothing that will stop me
01:16:18 And I really just don't care
01:16:23 Elizabeth, dear,
01:16:25 DR. TULLEN: I won't, I don't want to
01:16:29 If you don't come out,
01:16:35 You know you set my world on fire
01:16:37 -It's got to be love
01:16:40 It's got to be love not a broken heart
01:16:42 Well, that was certainly worth the wait.
01:16:45 You know you set my world on fire
01:16:47 -It's got to be love
01:16:50 Here. My nephew.
01:16:52 Feel like jumping in the river
01:16:57 The different places smiling faces
01:17:01 And all are happy people
01:17:06 'Cause everything you want
01:17:13 -What's your name?
01:17:16 I'm Doudi, Doudi Kakas.
01:17:21 Of course.
01:17:23 -It's got to be love
01:17:26 It's got to be love not a broken heart
01:17:28 Come on! Get in there! Tsunami time!
01:17:31 You know you set my world on fire
01:17:33 -It's got to be love
01:17:36 It's got to be love not a broken heart
01:17:38 -It's got to be love
01:17:40 You know you set my world on fire
01:17:43 (ALL EXCLAIMING)
01:17:50 (SCREAMING)
01:17:53 -It's got to be love
01:17:55 You know you set my world on fire
01:17:57 It's got to be love
01:18:00 You know you set my world on fire
01:18:04 MAN: Here.
01:18:11 (GEORGIA SINGING IN GREEK)
01:18:13 A woman sends me kisses on the wind.
01:18:24 POUPI: Hoping they will bring love to her.
01:18:26 POUPI: Hoping they will bring love to her.
01:18:34 She's waiting for a long time.
01:18:58 You waited too long.
01:19:01 Well, I had to give you a few years
01:19:05 You're welcome!
01:19:07 (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
01:19:08 (LAUGHING)
01:19:09 I've missed you.
01:19:13 Not as much as I missed you.
01:19:20 ...of a woman in love.
01:19:31 That's lovely.
01:19:34 BIG AL: Classic.
01:19:36 -All right, who wants the last pancake?
01:19:39 Hook me up! Hook me up now!
01:19:41 I feel like I've had a month of Sundays.
01:19:43 I'm gonna re-up the firewood
01:19:46 Hey, I've got something better for that fire.
01:19:49 Whoa!
01:19:51 (ALL CHEERING)
01:19:53 Yes! Yeah!
01:19:56 GATOR: She did it.
01:19:57 That really burns.
01:19:59 It's a blazer!
01:20:00 (ALL GROANING)
01:20:02 Keep your day job.
01:20:06 -All right.
01:20:07 -Oh, yeah.
01:20:09 No, no, no, you're not.
01:20:11 Yes! Yes! Burn it.
01:20:14 I cannot believe you just did that.
01:20:16 I feel lighter.
01:20:18 I can't believe it. Irv?
01:20:21 -Irv!
01:20:23 -What happened?
01:20:26 -Irv!
01:20:31 -Call an ambulance!
01:20:34 DR. TULLEN: Now, you stay with us!
01:20:37 Irv? Irv?
01:20:41 GEORGIA: So we've been told the hospital
01:20:44 They're gonna run some tests and...
01:20:46 -When does he get out?
01:20:49 They really aren't. The doctors actually
01:20:52 But, look, they don't know Irv
01:20:55 -Right.
01:20:58 All right. This is the propylaeum.
01:21:00 Just up those stairs is the Parthenon.
01:21:03 How many more stairs?
01:21:06 About 30, 50. A lot.
01:21:08 (GROANS)
01:21:10 It's okay.
01:21:11 We're tired, and the stress of Irv is... Yeah.
01:21:18 Anyone who wants to, follow me.
01:21:49 GEORGIA: Incredible, isn't it?
01:21:52 -KIM: Tell us about it.
01:21:55 Well, we have traveled
01:22:00 Delphi, Athens, Olympia.
01:22:04 And this city, Athens, got its name
01:22:10 And the Parthenon was built to honor her.
01:22:13 It was finished in 432 B.C.
01:22:19 Let me tell you why I love it here.
01:22:23 Listen to the sound of the wind
01:22:29 (WIND WHISTLING)
01:22:34 That is the same wind that
01:22:40 It's the sound of nature
01:22:47 And for me, that's history.
01:22:53 I tell you what, Angie.
01:22:55 It's just plain beautiful. That's what it is.
01:22:57 -It was lovely.
01:23:00 It's Greek-alicious.
01:23:06 Yes, Gator.
01:23:08 There's still something I haven't seen.
01:23:10 What's that?
01:23:12 A Greek hospital.
01:23:16 -Yeah.
01:23:17 -Good call, Gator.
01:23:20 I know a good one. I'll take us all.
01:23:23 Fine, fine, take your stupid pictures
01:23:26 and I go get you some ice cream.
01:23:29 Good morning, Nico.
01:23:31 Yeah? I have a headache in my head.
01:23:34 The bus air conditioner, it break,
01:23:38 never stops to complain,
01:23:40 Wait a minute!
01:23:42 Did you just call us Americans?
01:23:45 Americans, Canadians.
01:23:48 You jerk!
01:23:49 (ALL EXCLAIMING)
01:23:57 KEN: Runs like a sheila!
01:24:01 And the Greek word for hospital
01:24:04 Say it with me.
01:24:05 (ALL REPEAT IN GREEK)
01:24:07 Very good. This is one of
01:24:09 Only the best for our Irv.
01:24:12 -Hey, hey, hey.
01:24:16 Dude!
01:24:18 This nice guy is for you.
01:24:19 You coming
01:24:21 Here you go, mate,
01:24:22 This is great. Thank you, all.
01:24:25 -Looking good, Irv.
01:24:28 Because you missed the Parthenon.
01:24:29 -Wear it in good health, boss.
01:24:32 Friends.
01:24:35 This is great.
01:24:36 So many visitors. Nice.
01:24:39 -Now get out, yes.
01:24:42 MARC: Get well, Irv.
01:24:44 -KIM: You're looking good, Irv.
01:24:47 -Yo, Gator.
01:24:49 (EXCLAIMS)
01:24:50 -DORCAS: Bye, Irv.
01:24:55 Bye, Irv.
01:25:00 Thank you.
01:25:02 My pleasure.
01:25:22 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
01:25:25 CAITLIN: Say, "Cheese."
01:25:29 Great buffet, Ange.
01:25:33 Angie, I've got benecoupola and dolmades
01:25:37 -Or, as they say in Greek, poli kala.
01:25:42 Hey, listen, it's not a big deal,
01:25:46 Yeah. We know. It's Georgia.
01:25:49 So why do you call me Angie?
01:25:51 Look at you.
01:25:55 You know,
01:25:57 -We love her.
01:26:01 Yes, I do. Yes.
01:26:03 (HAPPY PLAYING)
01:26:06 Look who's here.
01:26:11 -Hi.
01:26:14 -For you.
01:26:16 MR. TULLEN: Let's have a look at you.
01:26:18 (SINGING) No, I cannot count the ways
01:26:22 You have made my life so blessed
01:26:26 All I know is that you came
01:26:30 And made beauty of my mess
01:26:33 You make me happy
01:26:37 You make me feel the way I do
01:26:40 Hey, Poups.
01:26:42 You know, you turned out to be all right
01:26:49 -Am I interrupting something?
01:26:53 Excuse me.
01:26:56 -I'll get some wine.
01:26:58 Georgie, I got these for you.
01:27:00 Dorcas, you shouldn't do this.
01:27:04 It's all right. I've got the receipt.
01:27:06 (EXCLAIMS)
01:27:07 -Good for you.
01:27:14 Oh.
01:27:16 -Georgia. I saw you.
01:27:19 To my hand you can speak.
01:27:22 You wrote this. "Excellent."
01:27:24 "Georgia is terrific."
01:27:27 "You are so lucky
01:27:30 I look like Angelina Jolie.
01:27:32 No, you don't. Who wrote this?
01:27:34 -I did. I wrote that.
01:27:37 -I did.
01:27:39 -We love Angie.
01:27:41 -She's the best.
01:27:43 It's a fluke. So no raise.
01:27:45 Fine.
01:27:47 All right, 10%. That's as high as I go.
01:27:50 Okay.
01:27:51 You didn't get a letter from me, did you?
01:27:53 Sure I did. Butt-smoocher.
01:27:57 "Dear Maria,
01:28:01 The rest got stained. Coffee?
01:28:05 Coffee?
01:28:06 Everybody should take the time
01:28:10 I've heard everyone should take time
01:28:13 I just said that. What?
01:28:16 You found your kefi.
01:28:20 Yes.
01:28:22 And who the hell are you?
01:28:24 -Procopi.
01:28:25 -Procopi.
01:28:27 -Poupi Kakas.
01:28:30 Maria, will you make me a full-time driver?
01:28:33 Okay. Georgia, 20%. That's as high as I go.
01:28:38 Okay. Why are you being nice to me?
01:28:47 -It's open.
01:28:50 You got the job there.
01:29:00 I have a job here.
01:29:04 And it won't be easy.
01:29:09 I knew his father. Same thing.
01:29:13 -Are you sure?
01:29:16 -If you'll be my driver.
01:29:20 -Will you hold on just a second?
01:29:25 (GEORGIA SPEAKING GREEK)
01:29:27 Everyone. Everyone.
01:29:29 I'm so happy I met you,
01:29:33 To Georgia!
01:29:36 ALL: To Georgia!
01:29:38 -To Irv!
01:29:41 GEORGIA: Okay, so I'm staying in Greece.
01:29:45 I have no idea what's going to happen.
01:29:48 But as the man says,
01:29:51 I've waited a long time to be this happy.
01:29:55 And the thing about happy...
01:29:58 Wait. What was I saying?
01:30:01 Yeah, I'm gonna enjoy it.
01:30:05 Subtitles: Arigon
01:30:13 -Teach me to dance.
01:30:17 Did you say dance?
01:30:21 (CHEERS)
01:30:22 (LAUGHING)
01:30:25 And now we dance.
01:30:28 (ALL LAUGHING)
01:30:33 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)