Nativity

en
00:00:43 (♪ Here comes Santa Claus
00:00:45 'That's me, Paul Maddens,
00:00:49 'Yes, l look like an idiot.
00:00:52 'And there's my girlfriend, Jennifer,
00:00:55 'with our best mate,
00:00:58 'We were the three amigos
00:01:01 (♪ So jump in bed and cover your head
00:01:04 (♪ Cos Santa Claus comes tonight... (♪
00:01:07 'Jennifer and her family
00:01:10 'And it was Jennifer
00:01:14 'Gordon always said
00:01:16 'but the only thing
00:01:19 l'm completely above this.
00:01:22 lt's my last elf.
00:01:24 l could at least be Father Christmas.
00:01:27 - l can't do this any more.
00:01:31 There's no control being an actor.
00:01:35 - l agree.
00:01:37 l don't know,
00:01:40 - l think you should consider that.
00:01:42 That's why l'm going to train
00:01:46 Shh.
00:01:48 Give it three years and if you're
00:01:50 Try. Those who can't act, teach.
00:01:54 (Both) And those who can't teach,
00:01:57 - Who says that?
00:02:00 A truism?
00:02:02 (♪ Here comes Santa Claus
00:02:05 (Paul) 'And so that's what l did,
00:02:10 'and Jennifer
00:02:13 'As l was of her, when she went
00:02:17 'Gordon became a teacher at
00:02:20 'Every Christmas,
00:02:22 'his productions of the nativity won
00:02:26 Gordon Shakespeare's
00:02:30 has redefined nativity
00:02:34 that hangs over the city of Coventry
00:02:38 'Five stars.
00:02:40 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
00:02:45 'Paul Maddens' nativity was abysmal.'
00:02:48 Minus two stars.
00:02:51 (Paul) 'And that's when
00:02:54 ((♪ JACKSON 5:
00:03:01 (♪ Santa Claus is coming to town
00:03:07 (♪ You'd better watch out
00:03:11 Sit down! Oli, that's you
00:03:14 TJ, that's you in detention
00:03:17 and also, TJ, that's your parents
00:03:21 (♪ Santa Claus is coming to town... (♪
00:03:27 - Who is going to win the 5-star review?
00:03:31 Us, us, us! Us, us, us!
00:03:34 Us, us, us! Yeah!
00:03:38 - Who can spell me Bethlehem? Go.
00:03:42 No, next. Oli.
00:03:44 B-E-L-T...
00:03:46 No! TJ?
00:03:48 - B-E-L-E...
00:03:53 Good morning, boys and girls.
00:03:55 Good morning, Mrs Bevan!
00:04:00 Here we are on the run-up to Christmas.
00:04:02 - Yes!
00:04:04 Now, last year,
00:04:09 and, if you remember,
00:04:12 and she started shouting and crying
00:04:14 and some of you, l remember,
00:04:18 So, we are going to have to find
00:04:21 and this year, to make the best
00:04:27 is Mr Maddens. Yes!
00:04:31 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
00:04:33 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
00:04:37 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
00:04:41 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
00:04:45 Ooh.
00:04:47 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
00:04:50 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
00:04:53 (♪ And a happy New Year
00:04:56 (♪ Happy New Year... (♪
00:05:11 You have the talent,
00:05:14 Mrs Bevan, l did a three-year course
00:05:18 - l wasn't very good.
00:05:22 When are you going
00:05:25 These children are literally useless.
00:05:27 l am literally useless.
00:05:31 Think about Oakmoor. Think about
00:05:35 We agreed four years ago
00:05:37 that after my disastrous attempt to direct
00:05:42 Make this a good one, make this
00:05:47 and then l retire and you won't
00:05:50 Oh, and you've got a classroom
00:05:55 - Thank you.
00:06:14 - Hello.
00:06:18 Tell us, clearly, what happened at
00:06:22 Joseph got together with Mary and then
00:06:26 She has a baby, Jesus.
00:06:28 A couple of years later, about 30 years
00:06:33 Go and sit down. That was almost
00:06:38 Here's to a five-star review
00:06:40 of the St Bernadette's nativity
00:06:44 - Cheers.
00:06:46 (Laughter)
00:06:49 - (Rhythmic clapping)
00:06:52 (♪ A child Susie was
00:06:54 (♪ She said, "Miss! Miss! l can't get this!
00:06:59 (♪ When... (♪
00:07:01 - Who are you?
00:07:03 - What are you doing here, Mr Poppy?
00:07:11 Please try and keep it neat.
00:07:15 - How are you getting on, Fraser?
00:07:19 Mm-hm. You don't have to put
00:07:23 l thought we were supposed
00:07:26 - We are.
00:07:28 Yes, but this isn't
00:07:31 This is still a creative writing class.
00:07:33 - Who wants to do a play?
00:07:37 - Just move the tables to one side.
00:07:42 Alfie! Alfie, TJ, just put the tables back.
00:07:45 The next person to move their table
00:07:50 - (Bell rings)
00:07:55 - (Children shouting)
00:08:00 (Shouting and laughter)
00:08:06 - Mr Poppy! Come in now, Mr Poppy.
00:08:11 Come in now.
00:08:13 Get inside, please. l've told you before!
00:08:16 - Poppy! Poppy! Poppy!
00:08:20 - Poppy! Poppy!
00:08:22 Mr Poppy! Mr Poppy!
00:08:26 Mr Poppy!
00:08:30 Shh-chh-chh!
00:08:33 - Furzz-oop.
00:08:38 Can l just say l've really enjoyed
00:08:41 You're welcome.
00:08:42 - You haven't done this before.
00:08:46 - Classroom assistant?
00:08:48 l just wanted to check that.
00:08:52 - Do you want a sausage sizzler?
00:08:54 Young's, the newsagent
00:08:56 they do these sausages with tomato
00:09:01 They're £1 .50. Do you want to share
00:09:06 l'll introduce you to Tom, Stinky Tom.
00:09:09 l'm a bit busy. l shan't be doing that
00:09:12 See you later.
00:09:14 Fzz-shwoosh!
00:09:18 (♪ Can't you see it's gonna be
00:09:23 (♪ A merry, merry Christmas
00:09:29 (Dog whines)
00:09:30 Come here, baby. Hello.
00:09:33 Ooh! Right on me kippers. Ooh!
00:09:35 Cracker! Cracker, you hardly know me!
00:09:39 Cracker! Cracker!
00:09:41 Where are you going, you mental dog?
00:09:43 (Hums a tune)
00:09:53 Cracker... (♪ ln Nazareth...
00:09:56 Or... (♪ ln Nazareth...
00:09:59 l think low. Bark for high.
00:10:01 - (Barks)
00:10:04 - (Whines)
00:10:09 Cracker.
00:10:10 Cracker. Cracker, come here.
00:10:18 (Thud)
00:10:20 Help me, Mr Maddens!
00:10:23 This man is an idiot.
00:10:27 lf this was a village,
00:10:29 He's not a classroom assistant.
00:10:33 - He'll be a big help with the play.
00:10:37 The play that brings the children away
00:10:41 Whoopee. l've got a big oaf helping
00:10:45 - This is getting a bit personal.
00:10:48 - Who's what?
00:10:50 That's a photograph
00:10:53 - Why?
00:10:56 Mm-hm.
00:10:59 (Sighs)
00:11:07 Mr Poppy!
00:11:11 Sit down, please. Sit down.
00:11:14 Be quiet! Sit down now!
00:11:21 Why is Mr Maddens
00:11:24 His girlfriend left him at Christmas time.
00:11:27 - Where's his girlfriend now?
00:11:31 America, how cool is that?
00:11:34 lt is cool,
00:11:37 Can we keep it down over there,
00:11:43 - Bagsy drive the van.
00:11:46 - Nothing overrules the rules of bagsy.
00:11:48 - Mr Poppy, l'm insured to drive the van.
00:11:53 - Can you drive?
00:11:57 (Horn sounds)
00:11:59 - Gabriel comes in on a death slide.
00:12:02 One of those things. Duh-zzhoozh!
00:12:05 l don't think health and safety will
00:12:10 - OK, what about a BMX with trick pegs?
00:12:15 We are not going to replace a donkey
00:12:19 - We can do it if we just work together.
00:12:22 Like we're Webber and Rice, and Posh
00:12:27 You and me.
00:12:28 - l think maybe this one.
00:12:32 lt's not gonna fit, is it?
00:12:35 - l don't believe it! Paul Maddens!
00:12:39 (American accent)
00:12:44 - Great to see you.
00:12:46 - Where have you been?
00:12:49 But you were gonna be the star,
00:12:52 - Was l? l never thought that.
00:12:56 And now you're down the road?
00:13:00 Goodness me, what a challenge!
00:13:01 Slowly, that dreadful school
00:13:07 - How's Jennifer? Do you speak to her?
00:13:12 So, you still keep in touch with her?
00:13:14 Yeah, even though
00:13:16 - Didn't she do well?
00:13:19 l know. l mean, if you think l'm talented,
00:13:24 Way above me, and...and...
00:13:26 - ...clearly, you.
00:13:29 lf you want to see
00:13:32 and just see where
00:13:35 come along to our Christmas bazaar.
00:13:37 - The talent they've got. Amazing.
00:13:40 - lt's worth a little look. Come along.
00:13:43 - What are you doing this year?
00:13:46 - Perhaps l could come and see yours?
00:13:49 Because, actually, Jennifer's coming.
00:13:51 - She's coming over to the UK?
00:13:55 Why would she do that?
00:13:57 Because she's gonna bring
00:14:00 Hollywood...are coming
00:14:05 - To see your show?
00:14:06 - To film your show?
00:14:08 - To make a film out of it?
00:14:12 And a book.
00:14:14 (Hums a tune)
00:14:27 Come, come, come, come, come.
00:14:29 Come close. This is... Shh.
00:14:33 Come in, gather round.
00:14:36 l'm not supposed to, but someone's
00:14:41 l've just been to get the Christmas tree,
00:14:45 a big Hollywood
00:14:50 are coming here to see our nativity,
00:14:52 but it's not a nativity,
00:14:56 in 3-D with 5-D sound,
00:15:00 Yeah!
00:15:04 Shh, shh, shh!
00:15:07 Zack, l mean, you could end up being...
00:15:09 - Zac Efron.
00:15:12 And you...you could be Shrek!
00:15:15 - And you, Bob...
00:15:18 ...you're like a little Gollum,
00:15:21 So, we're going to be super famous
00:15:25 Yeah!
00:15:28 - (Groans)
00:15:31 Ow. Ow.
00:15:33 Ow!
00:15:35 Oh!
00:15:37 Aargh!
00:15:39 With me now
00:15:41 the pupils
00:15:45 - You must be very excited?
00:15:51 Wait, wait.
00:15:52 We heard this morning that Hollywood
00:15:57 and we can hardly believe it.
00:15:58 Sit down, please. Sit, Cracker.
00:16:01 l am actually Mr Poppy and l am, er...
00:16:08 (TV volume off)
00:16:15 '...the true stars of a new Hollywood
00:16:22 (♪ He sees you when you're sleeping
00:16:26 (♪ He knows when you're awake...
00:16:30 How you doing, Paul?
00:16:35 Now, you don't want to be late.
00:16:37 Well done.
00:16:44 There you are! Oh, goodness, at last.
00:16:48 - This is Darren from the newspaper.
00:16:51 Come on, we've got to go this way.
00:16:55 l've told Darren everything l know
00:16:59 lt's wonderful that you're
00:17:02 - There you are, that's it.
00:17:11 Thank you, thank you. Good morning,
00:17:16 Good morning. Good morning,
00:17:20 Ha-ha! And the local news team.
00:17:23 And, as you can see, children,
00:17:27 The whole of the town
00:17:31 that St Bernadette's is going
00:17:37 - Three cheers for Mr Maddens! Hip, hip!
00:17:40 - Hip, hip!
00:17:42 - Hip, hip!
00:17:46 Mrs Bevan, boys and girls...
00:17:49 l'm sorry, cos there's obviously
00:17:55 because yesterday
00:18:00 that we were gonna have a...
00:18:10 And l'm only sorry
00:18:25 l didn't tell you.
00:18:27 l told Gordon Shakespeare!
00:18:30 Do you understand me? You were
00:18:34 - lt doesn't matter!
00:18:37 How are Hollywood
00:18:40 lt's a lie! lt's not true! l made it up!
00:18:46 You have messed up, right?
00:18:48 lt's up to you to face your responsibility
00:18:53 - (Door squeaks)
00:19:00 Yeah!
00:19:03 All you've got to do
00:19:06 and get the Hollywood people across.
00:19:08 One problem. She's not my girlfriend.
00:19:12 l don't know where she lives.
00:19:16 - Family? Has she got any family?
00:19:21 - Do you have any pets?
00:19:24 Brilliant! Just go round there.
00:19:27 Say, "The dog died. l need her number.
00:19:31 - How has the dog died?
00:19:35 The dog blew up!
00:19:38 They won't ask! They won't ask.
00:19:42 "Eugh!" They'd just think "Eugh"
00:19:55 We need those five stars. l need you all
00:20:00 We need something edgier,
00:20:04 Something like the RSC do, then bang,
00:20:09 That's what we should be doing.
00:20:13 Something that the Americans
00:20:16 That's it, l know, we could have...Herod.
00:20:20 King Herod, he's never done, is he?
00:20:24 That's it, wonderful. We can have
00:20:28 This dark shape brooding in the back,
00:20:31 coming forward onto the stage,
00:20:35 craving for their minds and blood
00:20:38 That's what we want.
00:20:46 (♪ Can't you see it's gonna be
00:20:52 (♪ A merry, merry Christmas
00:20:55 Thank you. Anything else
00:20:58 - (Burps) A, B, C, D...
00:21:02 (♪ You and me
00:21:07 (♪ And l feel like l need some more
00:21:10 (♪ And l feel your body
00:21:15 Oh.
00:21:17 (♪ Cos l'm just
00:21:22 (♪ Listen to lron Maiden,
00:21:28 (♪ l was going on a hill side
00:21:34 (♪ l was going on a hill side
00:21:47 (♪ Oh, Danny boy
00:21:51 (♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling...
00:22:02 What would you like to play?
00:22:04 l know you're not gonna let me,
00:22:07 OK, well, away you go,
00:22:11 - Careful.
00:22:15 ((♪ Rock version of Jingle Bells)
00:22:23 - You're through to the next round.
00:22:26 - The Hollywood round.
00:22:29 Please can l go to Hollywood? Please!
00:22:32 Hollywood, Bob, are gonna love it.
00:22:35 Aah! Ooh!
00:22:38 Look, l can't do it.
00:22:41 l've got to... Excuse me.
00:22:47 Keep going, it's good. lt's really good.
00:22:52 - Paul. Paul. Paul.
00:22:56 l just popped in to congratulate you.
00:22:59 - Thank you.
00:23:01 - Thank you. l'll do what l can.
00:23:04 Father, could l ask your advice?
00:23:06 l've just had a bit of a query from one
00:23:10 l'm not sure how to advise them.
00:23:15 One of them has told a lie.
00:23:16 We all know that there's
00:23:19 and there's a black Protestant lie,
00:23:24 l don't think so, l don't think so.
00:23:28 - Technically?
00:23:30 Well, you know, "ls that a nice meal?"
00:23:35 Even though you're feeling sick,
00:23:39 - But it's still a lie, isn't it?
00:23:43 No, but if you picked the woman up
00:23:46 the next time
00:24:00 Ee-aah! Ee-aah!
00:24:07 - Mrs Bevan, can l have a quick word?
00:24:11 - Can l grab you for two minutes?
00:24:14 Word has got out about the Hollywood
00:24:18 - They want to know why, how, when.
00:24:23 This is the cherry on the cake,
00:24:26 and they want you to go to a big
00:24:31 - No!
00:24:35 - l don't think l can come.
00:24:38 - Have you?
00:24:39 - l've got to go. Phone!
00:24:41 That will be somebody else.
00:24:47 (♪ l'm a little Christmas cracker
00:24:50 (♪ Hanging on a Christmas tree
00:24:53 (♪ Just a little Christmas cracker
00:24:56 (♪ A banger, banger, banger,
00:24:58 (Doorbell)
00:25:02 - How's it going?
00:25:06 - l wonder if l might come in?
00:25:11 - Thank you.
00:25:14 (Clears throat)
00:25:21 You'd better sit down, Paul.
00:25:24 l've heard of some things
00:25:26 but to take a dog called Cracker
00:25:29 and then to put explosives in it
00:25:33 l think common parlance is "the pits".
00:25:36 Wait till Jennifer hears.
00:25:38 Yes, she'll probably be sitting there
00:25:42 sipping away at her Cristal champagne
00:25:45 That's her new boyfriend, by the way.
00:25:49 New boyfriend, you understand that?
00:25:51 Not the old boyfriend
00:25:54 (♪ Hooray for Hollywood... (♪
00:25:58 Excuse me.
00:26:04 - What did she say?
00:26:06 - When are you going to phone her?
00:26:10 And just when l've worked out
00:26:13 Phone her!
00:26:15 l can't phone her now
00:26:19 You're worried. You were
00:26:22 You love her,
00:26:26 and you feel butterfly things in your
00:26:29 And l understand that and you just
00:26:34 dial the number and say hello.
00:26:36 l don't know
00:26:38 You think l'm hung up over a woman
00:26:44 Well, l can see a man who's really
00:26:48 l'm frightened of you, because
00:26:51 l'm terrified because l don't know
00:26:55 l could help you mend your heart,
00:27:00 Open the door.
00:27:04 - Did you just slam that door?
00:27:06 Close it properly, please.
00:27:11 ((♪ RON SEXSMlTH:
00:27:16 (♪ Maybe this Christmas
00:27:22 (♪ Maybe this year
00:27:24 (♪ Love will appear
00:27:27 (♪ Deeper than ever before
00:27:32 (♪ And maybe forgiveness
00:27:41 (♪ Someone we've lost...
00:27:43 - (Dog whimpers)
00:27:48 (♪ Mm-mm-mm
00:27:50 (♪ Maybe this Christmas...
00:27:52 Hello?
00:27:54 (♪ Mm-mm-mm
00:27:57 (♪ Maybe this Christmas (♪
00:28:07 (Paul) l was very impressed with
00:28:11 l thought there was a wonderful
00:28:13 so you can all be
00:28:16 Because there's a wonderful array
00:28:19 l have no doubt you'll be able to handle
00:28:23 (♪ Things are going well in Nazareth
00:28:27 (♪ Our city is full of joy...
00:28:30 Right and that goes into...
00:28:32 - (Keyboard)
00:28:36 - That sounds good, doesn't it?
00:28:40 - (♪ Things are going well...
00:28:42 - (♪ ln Nazareth, our city is full of joy
00:28:46 - (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy
00:28:50 - (♪ ln Nazareth
00:28:52 - Do you...
00:28:54 Try it.
00:28:56 (♪ Things are really cool in Nazareth
00:29:01 (♪ Our city is full of joy
00:29:05 (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy...
00:29:08 Who thinks my song is better?
00:29:12 Anyone? This is far more linear.
00:29:16 Mine is actually influenced
00:29:22 OK, who prefers Mr Poppy's song?
00:29:27 Black! Darkness, and the audience
00:29:31 Some of the children,
00:29:35 come on here on that,
00:29:37 They're like toe, heel,
00:29:39 and then over here some more children,
00:29:43 and at the back as the cross opens up
00:29:47 The children turn round,
00:29:50 the city comes together
00:29:54 and people going "Hello"
00:29:57 Mr Poppy, these children
00:30:01 - Yes, they will.
00:30:05 - (Paul) You're not useless.
00:30:08 - No, l don't.
00:30:13 You told Mrs Bevan that we are.
00:30:15 - Who told you that?
00:30:18 You did say we were useless.
00:30:20 l didn't mean useless.
00:30:25 - But they will never be able to do that.
00:30:28 Anything we can do,
00:30:33 Oli, Oakmoor, shmoakmoor!
00:30:35 (♪ Beh-beh-beh-beh, beh-beh-beh-beh...
00:30:38 The final scene of the play
00:30:43 - You know what happens at the end?
00:30:46 - Baby Jesus is born.
00:30:49 Right, who fancies
00:30:54 to actually see a real baby being born?
00:30:58 Ah, l've been looking for you, my class.
00:31:01 We're talking about going on a field trip
00:31:05 - What do you mean?
00:31:08 Go to the farm and see some animals,
00:31:10 because it would be cool for you to see
00:31:14 Thank you. Can we come in, please?
00:31:16 Enough of this silliness.
00:31:19 How are they supposed to give
00:31:23 lt's called pretending. lt's what every
00:31:28 You can't pretend something
00:31:31 l'm pretending to like you
00:31:33 Who wants to go to hospital
00:31:39 ((♪ BLEU: "Snow Day")
00:31:41 - (♪ Hey, hey!
00:31:44 (♪ And the glare
00:31:48 (♪ When l heard the DJ speak to me
00:31:51 (♪ ln a voice that was
00:31:54 (Screams)
00:31:57 (Baby cries)
00:32:00 (♪ For a snowy day
00:32:04 (♪ Cos l need a break
00:32:11 (♪ l need a snow day...
00:32:13 Oh, piglets!
00:32:17 (♪ l need a snow day
00:32:23 (♪ Hey, hey! (♪
00:32:25 Hello, everybody.
00:32:26 l'd like to welcome you to our Christmas
00:32:31 As you know,
00:32:33 A time for charity and valuing those
00:32:40 So, in that spirit, l'd like to welcome the
00:32:49 (♪ Ding dong! Merrily on high
00:32:52 - (♪ ln heaven the bells are ringing
00:32:56 - (♪ Ding dong verily the sky
00:32:59 - (♪ ls riv'n with angels singing
00:33:03 - (♪ Gloria
00:33:09 (♪ Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!
00:33:13 (♪ Hosanna in excelsis (♪
00:33:19 That was good.
00:33:29 - They look beautiful.
00:33:41 Wow.
00:33:45 - Wow, he's good, isn't he?
00:33:50 Oh...
00:33:55 Look at him.
00:34:10 How are we? Are we all right?
00:34:14 OK, we know it a little bit. Listen,
00:34:18 You don't have to be getting this right.
00:34:20 This is just something we do
00:34:23 Just to give us an idea
00:34:26 - Mr Poppy, if you would, please.
00:34:30 (♪ He's not my type
00:34:34 (♪ She's not too bad
00:34:39 (♪ Not the most gorgeous
00:34:42 (♪ l've ever had
00:34:46 (♪ And yet there's something
00:34:50 (♪ Behind those eyes
00:34:54 (♪ A fire that flickers... (♪
00:34:58 (Shouting)
00:35:06 What's going on here?
00:35:09 Oli and Alfie, did l see you fighting?
00:35:15 Why were you fighting?
00:35:17 He said l'd be rubbish at Joseph,
00:35:21 and if l do, l would let the school down.
00:35:24 - Alfie, who made you director?
00:35:29 Alfie, it's not down to you
00:35:31 who's going to be rubbish or good
00:35:34 As far as l'm concerned
00:35:37 and so have you, Oli.
00:35:39 - You both want to try out for Joseph?
00:35:42 Yeah? Neither of you are going to.
00:35:46 l knew you'd never let me.
00:35:52 Jade, do you want
00:35:55 - Oli?
00:35:58 Take your feet off the seat.
00:36:05 - Come and try for Joseph, come on.
00:36:08 (♪ l'll grow to love her
00:36:13 (♪ lt might work out
00:36:16 (♪ Too young to know
00:36:19 (♪ What it's all about...
00:36:23 This one l'm quite excited about, but it is
00:36:28 But if you don't like it, you can just say.
00:36:31 - Hang on, what's down here?
00:36:35 l think l've just found...
00:36:38 - What's...
00:36:45 (♪ Together forever
00:36:49 (♪ And always home
00:36:52 - (♪ Together forever...
00:36:56 (♪ And always
00:36:59 (♪ Always home (♪
00:37:03 And kiss.
00:37:05 - (Both) No.
00:37:08 They don't have to kiss.
00:37:10 - (Poppy) What about just a cuddle?
00:37:16 - That was excellent.
00:37:18 You've got a beautiful voice. And Oli?
00:37:22 - That was really good.
00:37:26 - So, what was all that about earlier?
00:37:31 But l don't care if someone's getting
00:37:36 People think you're a bad lad,
00:37:38 but the more bad things you do,
00:37:43 You've got real talent
00:37:48 There's only so many conversations
00:37:50 Only so many times l can tell you off,
00:37:53 You don't want to be told off by me.
00:37:56 l hate doing it.
00:38:00 But if you could show me more
00:38:04 you could be great in this show.
00:38:07 - So, can l be Joseph, Mr Maddens?
00:38:12 l'm thinking l can see my boy band here.
00:38:15 l'm thinking this is the boy band
00:38:19 - What about TJ?
00:38:21 - Why?
00:38:25 - OK.
00:38:27 How are we going to whittle this down?
00:38:30 - Good dancer. Zack is a great dancer.
00:38:34 - Matt.
00:38:37 Right, he's a good dancer
00:38:41 l don't think we need to bother with that.
00:38:45 Have you seen the looks he gets in
00:38:49 - Good. OK.
00:38:52 He struts. Bobby!
00:38:56 Good morning, Mr Poppy.
00:38:58 l'm a bit upset because l haven't
00:39:02 How do you know that?
00:39:04 - Bob, what do you want to be?
00:39:07 (♪ She's the brightest star
00:39:10 (Mr Poppy) Throw some shapes.
00:39:12 (♪ lt's like we're living
00:39:16 (♪ Why do l feel overcome
00:39:19 (♪ Cos she's shining down her light
00:39:22 (♪ And she's gonna be my girl
00:39:26 ls there room for a little one?
00:39:28 - Mm, yeah.
00:39:31 Get in there, baby. Get in.
00:39:33 Thank you, Bob. Chin up.
00:39:39 (Gordon) Things are moving apace,
00:39:43 lf they go down the road
00:39:46 it's going to be the end of everything.
00:39:48 We're going to be washed up
00:39:51 We need to find Jennifer Lore,
00:39:55 She works in one of five major studios.
00:39:57 l need somebody to go on line to find
00:40:01 We need to find out exactly what
00:40:05 Yes, Mr Shakespeare.
00:40:07 We can see what their show is like,
00:40:11 We can just beat them. lf their show's
00:40:24 We're going to do a warm-up
00:40:25 because it's important
00:40:29 that we warm our bodies
00:40:31 Minds are equally important
00:40:35 - Hi, Mr Poppy.
00:40:37 What we're gonna do is a gentle
00:40:40 l've actually got some music. A little
00:40:44 Copy what l do. And you, Mr Maddens.
00:40:47 ((♪ JACKSON 5: "l Want You Back")
00:41:08 (♪ Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh, oh
00:41:12 (♪ Let me tell you now
00:41:15 - (♪ Ooh, ooh
00:41:18 (♪ When l had you to myself
00:41:24 (♪ Those pretty faces always
00:41:29 (♪ But someone picked you
00:41:31 (♪ One glance was all it took
00:41:34 (♪ Now it's much too late for me
00:41:39 (♪ Oh, baby, give me one more chance
00:41:44 (♪ Won't you please let me
00:41:49 - (♪ Oh, darling, l was blind to let you go
00:41:54 - (♪ But now since l see you in his arms
00:41:59 (♪ Oh, l do now...
00:42:01 Spies!
00:42:04 Mr Maddens, it's the freak.
00:42:08 Cry God for Harry,
00:42:15 Come on, let's go!
00:42:19 Fall back!
00:42:27 Ha-ha! Break time!
00:42:29 l just wanted to say, if you needed any
00:42:41 - Step shuffle, change shuffle...
00:42:51 Gordon!
00:42:53 - Gordon! What are you doing?
00:42:58 - Why have you come to the school?
00:43:03 Excuse me. l don't think...no.
00:43:06 Mr Maddens!
00:43:11 Bundle!
00:43:16 Some of the children have described to
00:43:21 - Now, what on earth does that mean?
00:43:24 Bundle or rumble, l do not care.
00:43:27 You've dragged this school
00:43:31 lf it wasn't
00:43:33 you'd be off these premises
00:43:37 Get out, go on, back to your classrooms.
00:43:40 Sorry.
00:43:42 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
00:43:45 l know a lot of you have heard
00:43:49 so l'll hand you over
00:43:51 There was talk about, er...relocating.
00:43:54 - ls there any truth in this?
00:43:59 l don't want any of us
00:44:02 and start dreaming about Hollywood
00:44:05 when that is plainly a fantasy.
00:44:07 Yeah, but if the people from Hollywood
00:44:11 they'll maybe take them over there.
00:44:13 l'm worried about the religious aspect
00:44:16 lt's going to be absolutely 100 percent
00:44:21 - A normal nativity.
00:44:24 How much are you paying?
00:44:26 There will be no financial benefit.
00:44:29 lf you're making a film, there's got to be
00:44:33 - lt's Hollywood. They've got the money.
00:44:38 About a million pounds,
00:44:41 We gonna have to get agents.
00:44:43 - Alfie can't have contacts.
00:44:47 - My daughter is very beautiful.
00:44:50 - lt would be my daughter.
00:44:53 - (Chatter)
00:44:57 Hi, Jennifer, this is Paul. Paul Maddens.
00:44:59 Just wondering if you could
00:45:03 l have something to ask you,
00:45:06 lf you could give me a... Love you.
00:45:09 What are you...?
00:45:10 Don't say that!
00:45:13 - Why did you tell me to say that?
00:45:16 lt's not, it's a totally inappropriate
00:45:20 - Why are you in my house?
00:45:23 Well, it's not helping! l haven't
00:45:28 Get out! What are you doing?
00:45:31 l think he's doing it for the best because
00:45:35 - lt's not happening, is it?
00:45:38 - How?
00:45:40 - How's it gonna happen?
00:45:43 Desmond? Desmond?
00:45:45 You were going to be
00:45:48 Yeah, l was just chatting
00:45:50 Yes, you shouldn't be.
00:45:52 - Paul?
00:45:55 Why did you lie?
00:45:58 About what?
00:46:00 About America, about Hollywood,
00:46:03 - You've lied about all this.
00:46:06 - l'm in shock. l'm in shock.
00:46:09 - What are you gonna do?
00:46:12 - You've got to do something.
00:46:15 We've got to get Jennifer to somehow
00:46:19 Yes.
00:46:20 We're gonna film what we've done
00:46:25 - The best bits.
00:46:27 - Yes!
00:46:30 - Oh!
00:46:32 Just get something, get whatever you
00:46:36 Film it for the DVD, send the DVD.
00:46:39 - Stop saying DVD.
00:46:43 Well, l'm not doing the DVD.
00:46:46 (♪ She's the brightest star
00:46:49 (♪ lt's like we're living
00:46:54 (♪ Why do l feel overcome
00:46:58 (♪ Cos she's shining down her light
00:47:00 (♪ And she's gonna be my girl
00:47:05 ((♪ Piano music over dialogue)
00:47:18 Whoo!
00:47:22 OK, er...
00:47:36 OK, nice and loud. ln here, in here. Go!
00:47:43 (Sniffs)
00:47:45 (♪ l want you with me, Christmas...
00:47:52 'Hello, Miss Jennifer, you don't know me
00:47:56 and the children have got
00:47:59 'Mr Maddens is having
00:48:02 'Mr Maddens loves you so much
00:48:07 'Please, please come back
00:48:12 'Mr Maddens
00:48:16 'Without you Mr Maddens is lost.'
00:48:19 'Mr Maddens is miserable
00:48:22 'So...so please, please come,
00:48:25 'and come and see the show
00:48:28 'and everything will be good.'
00:48:33 (♪ To keep my heart aglow (♪
00:48:45 (MC) The Lord Mayor welcomes
00:48:56 - Hello. Paul Maddens.
00:48:59 - How do you do?
00:49:01 You look marvellous.
00:49:03 This old thing,
00:49:06 - You look like a Christmas cracker.
00:49:09 Let's hope you get pulled
00:49:13 - Can l take you for a drink, Mrs Bevan?
00:49:16 - You'd like a glass of champagne.
00:49:18 lt's very nice, very cooling.
00:49:20 - Patrick Burns.
00:49:22 - Coventry Evening Telegraph.
00:49:26 - Excited?
00:49:29 - Hollywood?
00:49:32 l've got contacts there,
00:49:36 Yeah, yeah, from a young lady.
00:49:39 Yeah. You know, sorry, l know how this
00:49:44 No, no, l'm off duty. l'm off duty.
00:49:47 - l hear there's no such thing.
00:49:50 Gordon was just saying how you had
00:49:54 and then he said to her,
00:49:58 - Really?
00:50:04 l'm sensing a lot of anger.
00:50:07 Are you? Why would that be, l wonder?
00:50:09 Could it be because you are the man
00:50:13 my one honest attempt
00:50:17 Are you sure it was me?
00:50:19 "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"
00:50:21 - And now, when there's a chance...
00:50:25 - So you do remember it?
00:50:29 Look at you now,
00:50:32 You're no one if you haven't had
00:50:35 That's why they call them
00:50:39 - (Applause)
00:50:41 Can l thank you for your attendance
00:50:45 because l would like to congratulate
00:50:49 for the incredible opportunity that
00:50:53 Mr Maddens.
00:50:56 Now, in honour of this occasion,
00:51:01 the mayor's parlour
00:51:04 and we would like to offer the cathedral
00:51:08 Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:51:23 Mr Maddens. This is brilliant.
00:51:28 Prepare to be amazed.
00:51:31 We're doing it at the cathedral.
00:51:34 What?
00:51:35 We're doing the show
00:51:40 - Yes! The cathedral's got a spire.
00:51:43 You don't seem to understand
00:51:46 that the bigger this gets,
00:51:49 He's getting corporate sponsors to give
00:51:54 We need money. We need lights.
00:51:58 We need someone to help us
00:52:02 - l think l need someone...
00:52:06 - What are you doing?
00:52:09 - Mr Maddens?
00:52:11 - Mr Maddens, you're upset, aren't you?
00:52:15 l can give you a cuddle?
00:52:18 l promise. Feel this.
00:52:21 You're hurting me.
00:52:24 We can do this, Mr Maddens, can't we?
00:52:28 - No, we can't.
00:52:31 Look, l'll leave you here, all right?
00:52:35 - (Music playing)
00:52:41 Believe, Mr Maddens. Believe.
00:52:43 (♪ l've had a little makeover
00:52:47 Out to here. The audience is here.
00:52:49 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink...
00:52:53 - Yes.
00:52:57 (♪ Cos l'm about to shine...
00:52:59 This is an old cathedral.
00:53:03 - (♪ There's no starlight like mine...
00:53:07 - (♪ Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh...
00:53:10 Now, see,
00:53:13 That has got to come in after the...
00:53:18 (♪ Bosh! Sparkle and shine...
00:53:21 lt has to have that ferocity to it.
00:53:23 lt's a cathedral we're trying to fill,
00:53:26 At the moment you're not even
00:53:30 (♪ l've had a little makeover
00:53:37 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink
00:53:40 (♪ We'll loosen up all right
00:53:43 (♪ Stand back and put your shades on
00:53:49 (♪ My blinding light will thrill you
00:53:52 (♪ Cos there's no starlight like mine
00:53:55 (♪ Sparkle and shine
00:53:58 (♪ Planets gather round
00:54:01 (♪ Sparkle and shine
00:54:04 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound
00:54:07 (♪ Here's something you won't believe
00:54:10 (♪ lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve...
00:54:14 ♪ Eve ♪
00:54:22 Very good, very good, well done.
00:54:25 - (Bell rings)
00:54:28 Mr Poppy! Mr...
00:54:32 Right, carefully, please. Carefully, Lucy.
00:54:37 Hello, Sadie.
00:54:39 Um...l don't really want to do it.
00:54:42 - You don't want to do what?
00:54:47 Come here, sit down, sit down.
00:54:51 (Clears throat)
00:54:54 Sadie, that was absolutely brilliant.
00:54:55 Everyone's gonna laugh at me.
00:54:58 No, everyone's gonna laugh with you.
00:55:00 Anyone who tells you that anyone's
00:55:05 because you were great up there,
00:55:08 You were really good.
00:55:12 (Sighs)
00:55:15 Truth be known, l need you.
00:55:20 lf you don't do it for yourself,
00:55:23 l'm a man literally on the edge
00:55:27 But if you go now,
00:55:30 it will really, genuinely,
00:55:33 hurt me.
00:55:36 You were great up there.
00:55:39 - Do l have to wear a stupid costume?
00:55:42 lt's the nativity, you can't look cool.
00:55:44 Go on, go and have your lunch.
00:55:53 (Sighs)
00:55:56 Oh, you're joking.
00:56:20 (Saffron) 'Dear Father Christmas, l'm
00:56:24 'so please could you make
00:56:27 'and make Hollywood
00:56:30 'PS. Make me be Mary.
00:56:36 (Oli) 'Dear Santa, please send me
00:56:41 'l want to be happy
00:56:43 'because she never spends
00:56:46 'And please let me be Joseph. She's
00:56:50 'Thank you very much. From Oli.'
00:56:58 (Charlotte) 'Dear Santa, please
00:57:02 'l'd really love for everyone in the world
00:57:07 'Please help him get his girlfriend back
00:57:11 'Thank you very much.
00:57:21 (Lucy) 'Dear Father Christmas,
00:57:24 'because he seems really sad,
00:57:29 'So, please help him find his smile.
00:57:32 'Love from Lucy.'
00:57:46 Right, who wants to go
00:57:50 - Me!
00:57:54 - What's going on?
00:57:57 - What do you mean?
00:57:59 - Are you being serious?
00:58:02 Aah! l want to kiss you!
00:58:05 And me too?
00:58:07 No, no, you've got to be here,
00:58:11 Yes, Mr Maddens.
00:58:15 - l will do.
00:58:18 (♪ Hollywood's a-coming!
00:58:24 (PA) 'Flight 715 is now ready
00:58:28 - Mr Maddens!
00:58:30 - Room for two little ones?
00:58:33 - William and Saffron are coming.
00:58:37 l've got the consent forms from the
00:58:41 Miss Rye and l thought it'd be
00:58:45 because they can do the singing,
00:58:48 The gate's closing.
00:58:51 Ponies, horses, donkeys and cats.
00:58:54 - You'd better take these back.
00:58:58 - Desmond.
00:59:00 l'm not taking two children
00:59:03 ((♪ THE RONETTES: "Sleigh Ride")
00:59:12 (♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling
00:59:16 (♪ Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong
00:59:19 (♪ Come on, it's lovely weather
00:59:23 (♪ Outside the snow is falling
00:59:27 (♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong (♪
00:59:30 - Mr Maddens, look what we've found!
00:59:33 So, we're in the right area. We're closer
00:59:38 We should be getting
00:59:42 Saffron!
00:59:46 lf we come across anyone, let me do
00:59:50 Now just follow me.
00:59:52 Excuse me.
00:59:54 l have an appointment with Jennifer
00:59:59 - Can l see some lD, please?
01:00:03 - l need to see a piece of lD.
01:00:06 l haven't got it with me.
01:00:09 You're not on the list. So l wouldn't be
01:00:13 ls it possible to check? l'm here.
01:00:17 l just updated this, but l'll check one
01:00:23 - Follow me! Come on, this way!
01:00:27 Come here! Stop!
01:00:29 Quick!
01:00:31 Come on!
01:00:36 OK, come here, come here.
01:00:38 - Hold on tight.
01:00:45 Stop, wait! Respect the badge! Stop!
01:00:48 - Help! l can't slow down!
01:00:52 Think Gabriel!
01:00:56 What do you mean, it's not my bit?
01:01:00 (Bleating)
01:01:08 (Piglet squealing)
01:01:27 Oh!
01:01:34 Good morning,
01:01:36 That's a David Lowestein?
01:01:40 Good morning,
01:01:44 l know.
01:01:46 Putting you through.
01:01:50 - Hi. My name is Paul Maddens.
01:01:54 That's for a Shaun Michell?
01:01:59 Paul Maddens to see
01:02:02 - Can l take your name again, sir?
01:02:07 - And that's a P-A-U-L-L?
01:02:10 - No, just one L.
01:02:14 - Sir, move away from the desk.
01:02:18 Tony, we have children in reception!
01:02:20 - So what's the problem there?
01:02:23 - Calm down.
01:02:27 - And he's been...
01:02:36 You look amazing.
01:02:39 - Why are you here?
01:02:41 You didn't give me much of a choice.
01:02:45 Paul, l don't understand
01:02:47 Look, you shouldn't be involved in it
01:02:50 but somehow we've got to a situation
01:02:53 where the whole town thinks
01:02:56 Why do l feel
01:02:58 l tried to maintain a contact with you.
01:03:01 - You did not want anything to...
01:03:05 - This is that letter of agreement.
01:03:07 - You can take time off and come and...
01:03:11 Hang on. All of a sudden, an executive
01:03:17 - l'm not an executive producer.
01:03:21 l...l file, l answer phone calls,
01:03:25 l put people in meetings,
01:03:27 - A secretary?
01:03:29 You can't be a secretary.
01:03:32 She does a lot more than that,
01:03:35 Yes, l am. l am pretty much a secretary.
01:03:40 l'm sorry, look l know this is mad.
01:03:43 l know this is insane
01:03:46 l'm asking you for one more favour
01:03:50 l can't do anything, l have no power.
01:03:52 lf you can't do it, who can?
01:03:55 - No, l'm sorry you came all this way.
01:03:59 Paul, listen, l'm really sorry
01:04:02 - ls there a Harvey or Bob?
01:04:05 - Who could help me out?
01:04:07 No, but l'm not leaving here with these
01:04:13 Come here!
01:04:15 - Kevin, get Security.
01:04:18 Come on. Here it is. This way. This way.
01:04:22 Have you heard of the nativity?
01:04:25 - (Sighs)
01:04:28 Right, so we're doing our nativity show.
01:04:30 - Mary meets Joseph, they give birth...
01:04:33 OK, you know the story, then,
01:04:37 lt happens every year in every school
01:04:43 So, what's so special about yours?
01:04:45 A good question.
01:04:48 One, two, three, four.
01:04:51 - (♪ Things are really cool in Nazareth...
01:04:56 (♪ Our city is full of joy
01:05:01 (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy...
01:05:05 Yes, that's a Shaun Burridge,
01:05:08 (Paul) Last chance.
01:05:13 - Bye, Paul. Thanks for dropping by.
01:05:20 (Sighs)
01:05:25 They're not coming, are they?
01:05:30 No, they're not.
01:05:31 - ls it our fault?
01:05:35 No, it's not your fault. Come on.
01:05:40 Although you could
01:05:48 They're expecting Hollywood
01:05:54 Mr Parker, we can make that happen.
01:05:57 l got 50 states.
01:05:59 l've got hundreds of towns
01:06:04 that are putting on a nativity play.
01:06:07 l don't need to travel 6,000 miles.
01:06:09 Mr Parker, l need you to do this for me.
01:06:14 l have worked here
01:06:17 every morning at ten to eight
01:06:23 At nine o'clock l get you your coffee,
01:06:27 l take away the letters,
01:06:31 l take the other letters and put them
01:06:35 Jennifer,
01:06:39 that's what you're paid to do.
01:06:42 l know.
01:06:45 - Yes.
01:06:53 - Hello.
01:06:58 No joy.
01:07:04 (Mrs Bevan) To take two children
01:07:07 - Mrs Bevan, l have consent.
01:07:11 lt was the first thing Mr Poppy gave me.
01:07:14 Otherwise it would be abduction and
01:07:18 l would never have got on the plane
01:07:20 Do you realise the school could get
01:07:29 - What is this?
01:07:33 What is that? Did you do that?
01:07:38 Desmond, l trusted you.
01:07:41 Small lives.
01:07:45 - But you have been a disaster.
01:07:48 - Did you know about this?
01:07:53 - No.
01:07:55 - We've got to tell her.
01:07:59 Well, actually, Hollywood,
01:08:03 Paul, Mr Maddens panicked, l think,
01:08:07 and, er...lied.
01:08:10 Why did l ever, ever for a minute
01:08:14 would ever have
01:08:17 and out of the ordinary
01:08:20 and helpful to me and the children?
01:08:23 Why did l ever think that would happen?
01:08:26 - Mrs Bevan.
01:08:29 - Sorry?
01:08:35 You're irresponsible, you're not focused.
01:08:38 You're, l think, possibly
01:08:41 You have an attitude of wanting
01:08:45 rather than a professional adult.
01:08:48 Which anybody can do. Any fool
01:08:52 "Hands up, who wants to go
01:08:56 And it transpires that you are that any
01:09:01 For five minutes
01:09:04 but, no, it transpires
01:09:09 (Sobs)
01:09:13 As you know, l've been away
01:09:16 and in that time something
01:09:22 l'm afraid l let you believe
01:09:25 and they're not coming.
01:09:27 But worse than that,
01:09:29 we are not actually being allowed to do
01:09:34 Can't we do the show anyway?
01:09:38 Unfortunately not. Mrs Bevan
01:09:42 Please, please, please, Mr Maddens.
01:09:48 l told a lie,
01:09:50 and l let that lie grow and multiply
01:09:55 and, as l've told you all, probably,
01:09:59 a lie always, always causes
01:10:04 Which is why l shan't be here next term.
01:10:09 This will be my last term here.
01:10:13 And worse than losing my job,
01:10:17 much worse than that is that
01:10:22 And...
01:10:26 ...that's a very hurtful thing for me.
01:10:30 Come on, back to your class, please.
01:10:33 (♪ Have yourself a merry little Christmas
01:10:42 (♪ Let your heart be light
01:10:50 (♪ Next year all our troubles
01:11:01 - There's a wee joke in it.
01:11:04 Oh!
01:11:08 - Just that little bit there.
01:11:12 - Hey.
01:11:15 - l'm all right.
01:11:24 (♪ Until then
01:11:28 - l love you.
01:11:31 (♪ Somehow
01:11:40 (♪ So have yourself
01:11:44 (♪ A merry little Christmas... (♪
01:11:48 Who are you
01:11:52 We are the three kings
01:11:58 He's the new King of the Jews.
01:12:01 Kill every boy child in this land!
01:12:04 - Where's my baby? Where's my baby?
01:12:11 (Shouting)
01:12:18 (Screaming)
01:12:34 l am the King!
01:12:40 (♪ So have yourself
01:12:44 (♪ A merry little Christmas
01:12:51 (♪ Now... (♪
01:12:53 Nouns are used to name a person,
01:12:59 We've got football,
01:13:03 Nouns can be replaced
01:13:08 They can replace nouns
01:13:10 So, ours, she, one, he, it,
01:13:16 - Are you all right, Cleo?
01:13:19 - What's the problem?
01:13:22 - TJ?
01:13:26 Everyone misses Mr Poppy.
01:13:28 We'd be doing the play
01:13:49 Poppy! Poppy!
01:13:57 What am l doing? Meet me in the hall
01:14:03 (Cheering)
01:14:07 (Sighs)
01:14:16 - All right?
01:14:20 Desmond, l've come to apologise.
01:14:23 l said some things to you
01:14:26 and that weren't true
01:14:29 and l want you to come and do the play
01:14:33 and l can't do it without you.
01:14:37 l messed everything up.
01:14:40 l know l put it on you, l know l did.
01:14:43 You were right all along,
01:14:45 and for a dundus, you've been right on
01:14:49 You said l was scared, l denied it.
01:14:52 You said l was still in love with Jennifer,
01:15:04 Well, let's do it. What are you waiting
01:15:08 - You're going to do it?
01:15:11 Right, thank you.
01:15:21 Oh, my gosh!
01:15:24 lt looks amazing.
01:15:27 You remember
01:15:29 - Don't be nervous, you're a Nazarean.
01:15:33 l don't want to be a building.
01:15:37 You're playing part of Nazareth
01:15:39 Now, please, everyone calm down!
01:15:42 Fingers crossed, my friend.
01:15:43 - l'm nervous. l don't want to do it.
01:15:48 But it's you and me.
01:15:54 Come on, Mr Maddens. We've got to
01:15:59 This is what everybody in Nazareth
01:16:02 Not on the women, no.
01:16:07 (Whispers) Buddy, Buddy,
01:16:10 Look, the audience are filling up.
01:16:12 OK, everybody listen up, all right?
01:16:16 Big bit of advice
01:16:18 Can everybody make sure
01:16:21 because there won't be a chance
01:16:24 So, you can use my caravan,
01:16:27 Come back! Come back!
01:16:30 Now, l have just had a phone call
01:16:34 - What is all this?
01:16:36 l cancelled this performance!
01:16:41 - You know you are sacked.
01:16:44 - Desmond! Desmond!
01:16:48 - Well done, young man. Look at them!
01:16:50 Don't they look wonderful?
01:16:53 - l need to have the microphone.
01:16:56 - Can you watch from that wing, please?
01:16:59 This is gonna be sensational.
01:17:09 Ladies and gentlemen, mums and dads,
01:17:11 l just want to thank you for
01:17:16 But if l had to single any one person out
01:17:20 for their time, their diligence
01:17:24 it would have to be Mrs B,
01:17:29 - Come on, come and take a bow.
01:17:32 Mrs Bevan. Come on. Come on.
01:17:35 (Cheering)
01:17:40 Um...hello. Thank you very much, ladies
01:17:45 Er...this will be my last nativity play,
01:17:50 We're used to the school hall,
01:17:51 we don't have all this beauty around us
01:17:57 The mums and dads who've been
01:18:01 you know, things can go
01:18:05 Don't expect... l was going to say,
01:18:08 But, er...l shouldn't have said that.
01:18:11 Smack.
01:18:13 Nobody ever expects enough
01:18:18 Everyone expects them
01:18:22 and l'm going to change that.
01:18:26 That's what l said
01:18:29 tonight it stands
01:18:31 l've not seen it.
01:18:36 But all l know is that each and every
01:18:41 and wonderful
01:18:46 Hear, hear.
01:18:49 Hope you enjoy it.
01:19:01 (♪ Things are really cool in Nazareth
01:19:07 (♪ Our city is full of joy
01:19:11 (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy
01:19:17 (♪ Barely out of school in Nazareth
01:19:22 (♪ Parents join hand in hand
01:19:26 (♪ This is no one-night stand
01:19:30 (♪ A wedding is being planned
01:19:34 (♪ Here in Nazareth...
01:19:39 Sing out, sing out.
01:19:42 (♪ Nazareth, the place to live
01:19:47 (♪ Always willing to forgive
01:19:51 (♪ Nazareth, your big heart swells
01:19:54 (♪ We can hear those wedding bells
01:20:02 (♪ Feeling in a fix in Nazareth
01:20:08 (♪ Rules there to be obeyed
01:20:12 (♪ Arrangements are being made
01:20:17 (♪ Got to get your kicks
01:20:20 (♪ ln Nazareth
01:20:24 (♪ Maybe you'll run away
01:20:27 (♪ Start out a brand-new day
01:20:31 (♪ Still you cannot betray
01:20:35 (♪ Good old Nazareth...
01:20:39 (Cheering and whistling)
01:20:50 (♪ He's not my type
01:20:54 (♪ She's not too bad
01:20:57 (♪ Not the most gorgeous l've ever had
01:21:04 (♪ l'll grow to love her
01:21:08 (♪ lt might work out
01:21:12 (♪ Too young to know what it's all about
01:21:18 (♪ And yet there's something
01:21:22 (♪ Behind those eyes
01:21:26 (♪ A fire that flickers but never lies
01:21:33 (♪ Could l love him?
01:21:37 (♪ Could she love me?
01:21:40 (♪ You can't rush
01:21:52 (♪ One look
01:21:54 (♪ And we're forever
01:21:58 (♪ One look
01:22:00 (♪ And it's like we've always known
01:22:05 (♪ One look
01:22:09 (♪ We're boxing clever
01:22:13 (♪ Together forever
01:22:17 (♪ And always home
01:22:20 (♪ Together forever
01:22:24 (♪ And always...
01:22:26 (♪ Always, always
01:22:28 (♪ Home! (♪
01:22:31 (Cheering and applause)
01:22:39 (Applause fades)
01:22:45 OK, mate, it's your big moment.
01:22:50 Don't look down.
01:22:52 (Thunderclap)
01:22:56 (Screams)
01:23:18 (♪ OK, people, hear the news
01:23:23 (♪ OK, people, forget the blues
01:23:27 (♪ Good news, click your fingers
01:23:31 (♪ Good news always lingers
01:23:34 (♪ Good news, feel the beat
01:23:36 (♪ Good news, wakey-wakey
01:23:41 (♪ Good news, shakey, shakey!
01:23:45 (♪ Good news!
01:23:54 (♪ Hey, little sister, hear the word
01:23:59 (♪ There ain't no need for a big stork bird
01:24:04 (♪ Time to holler, time to dance...
01:24:06 Ooh!
01:24:08 (♪ You're gonna need some bigger pants
01:24:11 (♪ Good news! Good news!
01:24:14 (♪ Yeah, good news
01:24:20 (♪ Good news, yeah!
01:24:24 (♪ Your belly's growing
01:24:30 - Mr Maddens?
01:24:32 l have a tummy ache,
01:24:34 - Have you tried taking deep breaths?
01:24:38 - Tried taking your hat off, for once?
01:24:40 - Alfie, you're just gonna have to do it.
01:24:43 - Can you go on in Sam's place, please?
01:24:46 - Why?
01:24:48 You already look like Barbarella. Go in
01:25:01 (Applause)
01:25:05 (Applause and cheering)
01:25:13 Mary and Joseph were told they had
01:25:19 because of the nasty, mean King Herod.
01:25:23 - (Gordon) Stop, everyone!
01:25:25 Stop! You shut up!
01:25:28 That will do. OK. That's the end! Stop!
01:25:31 - l'll have that, please. Give me that.
01:25:34 Right, my name's Gordon Shakespeare.
01:25:36 You thought you were here to see
01:25:40 Not to see this substandard chav fest!
01:25:44 lt falls upon me to tell you that
01:25:48 No one was coming and nobody will!
01:25:50 That man is a sham!
01:25:54 As if Hollywood
01:25:58 Look at him. He's a dishonest person.
01:26:03 He lied.
01:26:11 What is it?
01:26:16 lt's a star.
01:26:19 (Whirring)
01:26:26 lt's Hollywood!
01:26:33 Ladies and gentlemen,
01:26:37 may l please introduce to you
01:26:42 and her sparkling sparklers!
01:26:49 (♪ Ooh, ooh
01:26:52 (♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
01:26:56 ♪ Ah
01:26:59 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh...
01:27:03 OK, everybody, clap your hands. l'm
01:27:08 (♪ l've had a little makeover
01:27:13 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink
01:27:17 (♪ We'll loosen up all right
01:27:19 (♪ Stand back and put your shades on
01:27:23 (♪ Because l'm about to shine
01:27:26 (♪ My blinding light will thrill you
01:27:29 (♪ Cos there's no starlight like mine
01:27:32 (♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
01:27:35 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:27:38 (♪ Planets gather round
01:27:41 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:27:44 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound
01:27:47 (♪ Here's something you won't believe
01:27:50 (♪ lt's the first time ever, Christmas Eve
01:27:59 (♪ l've got my light within me
01:28:05 (♪ l'm dizzy with self-confidence
01:28:11 (♪ l'm lighting up the skies tonight
01:28:14 (♪ So come on, join the party
01:28:17 (♪ Make the moment last all night
01:28:20 (♪ And keep the skies all starry...
01:28:24 Oli! Oli! Your mum's here.
01:28:28 So, when you do your rap, just look
01:28:32 - And the donkey's freaking out.
01:28:34 l didn't have any mints so l gave it
01:28:37 - You gave it chocolate?
01:28:41 (♪ Here's something you won't believe
01:28:45 (♪ lt's the first time ever
01:28:49 (Applause)
01:29:11 The four kings saw the beautiful
01:29:19 They thought she looked... Rrrr!
01:29:23 So they decided to follow her.
01:29:39 One time.
01:29:41 Come on. Come on.
01:29:45 - Two times, come on.
01:29:50 - (♪ Peace to the star
01:29:57 (♪ What a moment when l saw her first
01:30:01 (♪ She stole my heart
01:30:03 (♪ So it's about to burst
01:30:06 (♪ l'm the guy she twinkles for, je t'adore
01:30:11 (♪ Cos she's blinding me with love
01:30:14 (♪ She's my saviour from above
01:30:16 (♪ She's the brightest star l've ever seen
01:30:19 (♪ Brightest star
01:30:21 (♪ lt's like we're living
01:30:24 (♪ lt's like some kind of dream
01:30:26 (♪ Why do l feel overcome
01:30:30 (♪ Because she's shining down her light
01:30:33 (♪ And she's going to be my girl
01:30:39 (♪ l'm feeling like l've got to follow her
01:30:42 (♪ With frankincense
01:30:45 Excuse me.
01:30:47 (♪ She is going to lead the way
01:30:52 (♪ Hallelujah feeling good
01:30:54 (♪ Time to leave this neighbourhood...
01:31:06 Hello, Mr Maddens.
01:31:11 You weren't coming.
01:31:13 l know.
01:31:41 (♪ She's my shining star from above
01:31:44 (♪ She twinkles and she sprinkles
01:31:47 (♪ l want to squeeze her, please her
01:31:49 (♪ Extra spicy!
01:31:51 (♪ She makes me hot under the collar
01:31:54 (♪ l wish l could lasso her
01:31:56 (♪ She's tiny, she's shiny
01:31:58 (♪ l love her and l need her
01:32:04 (Cheering)
01:32:09 Eventually, Mary and Jo-Jo found an
01:32:16 You can use my stable. At least it's dry.
01:32:19 - Yeah, man. Huh!
01:32:22 They asked the animals if they could
01:32:27 (Whinnying)
01:32:29 The donkey said nay, but the other
01:32:34 And everyone what was anyone
01:32:37 (Explosions and screaming)
01:32:44 Buddy, what happened?
01:32:47 Well, l put that plug in
01:32:51 Don't worry, l'll take care of it. You've
01:32:55 Shh, l'm going to give you all a candle.
01:32:59 As soon as you've got one, just make
01:33:03 Everyone, this is Jennifer, who
01:33:07 - Hello. Hi.
01:33:44 (♪ Sometimes life is not all it can be
01:33:49 (♪ And here we are
01:33:56 (♪ Wondering just how far
01:34:01 (♪ And here we are
01:34:08 (♪ Then from the darkness
01:34:14 (♪ And who we are
01:34:22 - (♪ One night
01:34:25 (♪ One moment
01:34:29 (♪ One night, one moment
01:34:38 (♪ And everything's changed
01:34:41 (♪ One night, one moment
01:34:46 (♪ Tonight is so pure and so special
01:34:52 (♪ We'll never feel lonely again
01:34:57 (♪ Cos we are all standing together
01:35:03 (♪ As friends
01:35:07 (♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:10 (♪ And everything's changing forever
01:35:15 (♪ One night, one moment...
01:35:27 (Laughter and applause)
01:35:34 Yes!
01:35:38 Come on, everybody! Clap your hands!
01:35:43 We're gonna tear the roof off this place!
01:35:47 Bob! Bob!
01:35:49 - Wig out! Yeah!
01:35:55 Alice, best back flips ever!
01:35:58 (Cheering)
01:36:01 Oli!
01:36:11 Edward, best fluffercuff!
01:36:13 - (Squelching)
01:36:18 (Cheering)
01:36:23 - Best burp ever!
01:36:29 We've got a special guest
01:36:31 Thomas, joined by Becky. Boogie!
01:36:37 Rock and roll!
01:36:43 Yeah!
01:36:45 Mr Maddens, come up!
01:36:47 Come on!
01:36:51 Bring Jennifer with you, come on!
01:37:04 (Cheering)
01:37:10 Miss Rye! l love you!
01:37:15 Critic man, come up and boogie!
01:37:18 lt doesn't matter
01:37:32 Gordon, come up.
01:37:35 - No, Gordon! Gordon!
01:37:41 (Cheering)
01:37:52 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:37:55 (♪ Planets gather round
01:37:57 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:38:00 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound
01:38:03 (♪ Here's something you won't believe
01:38:06 (♪ lt's the first time ever, Christmas
01:38:08 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:38:11 (♪ Planets gather round
01:38:13 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:38:16 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound
01:38:19 (♪ Here's something you won't believe
01:38:21 (♪ lt's the first time ever
01:38:28 'And from that night me and Jennifer fell
01:38:32 'all over again.
01:38:35 'And as for our nativities,
01:38:41 Don't mind being a shepherd
01:38:45 (♪ Sometimes life is not all it can be...
01:38:49 l always wanted to be Mary
01:38:54 l would like to be Angel Gabriel.
01:38:57 Ah-ah-ah-ah...
01:38:59 (♪ And just how far this road can lead...
01:39:01 l wouldn't mind being a donkey.
01:39:03 (Squelching)
01:39:05 Actually, l'd quite like to be the star.
01:39:07 - (Burps)
01:39:09 (♪ Then from the darkness
01:39:15 (♪ And who we are
01:39:19 You might not like this but you might do.
01:39:23 - (♪ One night
01:39:26 (♪ One moment
01:39:28 (♪ And everything's changed
01:39:30 (♪ One night, one moment
01:39:39 (♪ And everything's changed
01:39:42 (♪ One night, one moment
01:39:47 (♪ Tonight is so pure and so special
01:39:53 (♪ You'll never feel lonely again
01:39:59 (♪ Cos we are all standing together
01:40:04 (♪ As friends
01:40:08 (♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh
01:40:10 (♪ And everything's changing forever
01:40:17 (♪ One night
01:40:21 (♪ One moment (♪
01:40:30 (Paul) Why do you want
01:40:32 Because l love to,
01:40:38 ((♪ Silent Night)
01:40:45 (♪ Silent night
01:40:50 (♪ Holy night
01:40:54 (♪ All is calm
01:40:58 (♪ All is bright
01:41:02 (♪ Round young Virgin Mother and Child
01:41:09 (♪ Holy lnfant so tender and mild
01:41:17 (♪ Sleep in heavenly peace
01:41:37 (♪ Silent night
01:41:41 (♪ Holy night
01:41:45 (♪ Shepherds quake at the sight
01:41:53 (♪ Glories stream from heaven afar
01:42:00 (♪ Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia
01:42:09 (♪ Christ the Saviour is born
01:42:17 (♪ Christ the Saviour is born...
01:42:28 - (♪ Silent night
01:42:32 - (♪ Holy night
01:42:36 (♪ Son of God
01:42:40 (♪ Love's pure light
01:42:44 (♪ Radiant beams from thy holy face
01:42:52 (♪ With the dawn of redeeming grace
01:43:00 (♪ Jesus Lord at thy birth
01:43:24 (♪ Jesus Lord
01:43:28 (♪ At thy
01:43:33 (♪ Birth (♪
01:43:43 Get in there, baby. Get in.
01:43:52 (♪ Ooh, ooh
01:43:58 ♪ Ah
01:44:01 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh...
01:44:04 OK, everybody, clap your hands.
01:44:07 l'm a superstar
01:44:10 (♪ l've had a little makeover
01:44:16 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink
01:44:22 (♪ Stand back and put your shades on
01:44:28 (♪ My blinding light will thrill you
01:44:34 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
01:44:37 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:44:40 (♪ Planets gather round
01:44:43 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:44:46 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound
01:44:49 (♪ Here's something you won't believe
01:44:52 (♪ lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve
01:45:01 (♪ l got my light within me
01:45:07 (♪ l'm dizzy with self-confidence
01:45:14 - (♪ l'm lighting up the skies tonight
01:45:19 - (♪ Let's make the moment last all night
01:45:26 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
01:45:32 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:45:35 (♪ Planets gather round
01:45:38 (♪ Sparkle and shine
01:45:41 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound
01:45:44 (♪ Here's something you won't believe
01:45:47 (♪ lt's the first time ever