New York Minute

en
00:00:35 I'm late. I'm late.
00:00:46 Ready for your speech, Ms. Ryan?
00:00:52 Are you sure you're prepared this time?
00:00:57 Are you sure you're not
00:01:04 Sure you're not
00:01:07 Please welcome Jane Ryan.
00:01:14 What?
00:01:51 Just a dream.
00:02:08 Morning, Mom. Miss you.
00:02:17 - Morning.
00:02:23 I'm up.
00:02:25 I'm up.
00:02:56 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:02:58 My name is Jane Ryan.
00:03:00 My name is Jane Ryan.
00:03:03 Good morning, Justin.
00:03:05 "Simple Plan shoot...
00:03:07 ...59th and Ninth, New York City."
00:03:12 - Making sure you're up.
00:03:15 Three weeks into school,
00:03:18 Maybe I won't have to send you
00:03:23 School...
00:03:24 ...or Simple Plan video shoot?
00:03:27 I'm here today as a finalist
00:03:50 What excuses shall we
00:03:53 Ringo? Ringo, where are you?
00:03:58 "Death of a pet, religious holiday...
00:04:00 ...female problems." Last week.
00:04:06 "Lllnesses. Chickenpox." Print.
00:04:14 - Perfect.
00:04:58 Thank you, New York City!
00:05:01 Ringo, there you are.
00:05:04 Did the little mean lady scare you?
00:05:07 Yes, I know she did.
00:05:38 Jane. Why do you insist on playing Mom?
00:05:43 Not listening.
00:05:49 - How's it going, guys?
00:05:52 - Your breakfast is on the table.
00:05:54 Wait.
00:05:56 - There you go.
00:05:58 You're welcome.
00:06:03 Never, ever touch my day planner.
00:06:07 Okay, you need to chill on the nerd book,
00:06:12 Okay, how frequent are the contractions?
00:06:15 Have them head down to the hospital.
00:06:21 - Jane...
00:06:23 No, it's not fine.
00:06:26 I will do everything I can to get
00:06:30 - I know you will.
00:06:32 Jane, sorry, I know this is the biggest day
00:06:36 ...but Dad, will you sign my field-trip
00:06:40 Shakespeare in the Park?
00:06:46 You know, the one with
00:06:49 ...love, the tights, hair.
00:06:54 - Yeah! Thank you. I totally blanked.
00:06:58 - I know. Me too.
00:07:05 Would you mind giving your sister a lift?
00:07:07 - Not at all.
00:07:13 Breakfast was great, but I got to go.
00:07:15 Okay. Well, then, take this, okay?
00:07:17 - Thank you.
00:07:19 - Love you.
00:07:27 - I hope you don't get caught.
00:07:32 - Let's get the show on the road.
00:07:35 You might wanna think
00:07:38 - I'm saving up for college.
00:07:41 Mind putting on the radio?
00:07:45 - Not at all.
00:07:50 Too cool for school.
00:07:55 Yeah.
00:08:28 Where are we going? We have
00:08:32 ...and I can't be late.
00:08:33 We just have to make a pit stop
00:08:38 Wait, you have a manager?
00:08:41 - Howdy, Rox.
00:08:43 - Come on in.
00:08:54 Seventy-eight!
00:08:56 - So how's the party?
00:08:59 We're on a marathon mission.
00:09:01 So I burned you 30. Check it out.
00:09:03 Thanks.
00:09:05 - Why am I on the cover?
00:09:08 - You're the hottest one in the band.
00:09:11 - That's not saying much.
00:09:14 That will get you into the shoot.
00:09:17 ...we've got to hit up the A-and-R guys.
00:09:19 - We gotta get this contract.
00:09:23 Middle-aged guys, fancy suits...
00:09:26 ...bad, old-fashioned dancing.
00:09:28 - Got it? All right.
00:09:30 - Good luck.
00:09:36 Yeah, 79!
00:09:39 Who's there?
00:09:41 - Pool guy.
00:09:43 You're not the pool guy.
00:09:45 You get to go right to the head
00:09:47 Nassau County Department of Truancy.
00:09:51 Do you want to come over here?
00:09:55 On your feet, gentlemen.
00:09:58 - Up, up, up!
00:10:00 You let me do the interrogating, son,
00:10:06 My mom's gonna kill me.
00:10:08 Got six future felons for you, Strauss.
00:10:13 Days of detention, Lomax.
00:10:15 - Days of detention.
00:10:17 "Book them." Would you
00:10:20 You're a truancy officer,
00:10:23 You know, this kind of crud is what
00:10:27 I'm on the heels of the number-one truant
00:10:31 ...and when I find her, and I will find her...
00:10:33 ...your boys will be doing back flips
00:10:37 Hey, Einstein, over here.
00:10:39 I feel bad lumping you in there
00:10:43 ...because you strike me as being a...
00:10:47 I see a big future here.
00:10:50 I look at this face,
00:10:55 I see a Supreme Court judge.
00:10:57 Do you have any idea what a 10-day
00:11:02 You'll be lucky to be accepted
00:11:05 Now...
00:11:07 ...do yourself a favor.
00:11:09 Where can I find Roxanne Ryan?
00:11:11 You can give me
00:11:14 But if there's something I'm not,
00:11:17 Fine. Suit yourself.
00:11:24 - Car, car! Look out!
00:11:26 What's the matter with you?!
00:11:32 - Nice park.
00:11:55 Excuse me, could you just not?
00:12:00 Okay, speech at 3.
00:12:04 Perfect. Okay...
00:12:22 You can't sit here. I need quiet.
00:12:24 Chill. You won't even know I'm here.
00:12:27 I'm close to winning the fellowship.
00:12:31 What is this stupid thing, anyway?
00:12:33 This stupid thing is a four-year
00:12:37 Oxford?
00:12:38 - As in England?
00:12:42 - Maybe you would like to switch seats...
00:12:45 Yeah.
00:12:47 - Why Oxford?
00:12:51 Because Simple Plan's shooting
00:12:54 So I'll canvass the A-and-R guys,
00:12:57 ...and hopefully be the new opening act.
00:12:59 Great. There'll be lots of concerts
00:13:03 How's the school gonna know?
00:13:04 As far as they're concerned,
00:13:08 Chickenpox.
00:13:15 Chickenpox, my Aunt Fanny.
00:13:18 Who is it?
00:13:20 It's Savitsky, your landlord.
00:13:23 Mr. Savitsky,
00:13:27 ...because I'm working on a very big
00:13:30 - You're dizzy? You should lie down.
00:13:34 So get busy writing a check,
00:13:42 Where have you gone, Miss Ryan?
00:13:46 Where have you gone?
00:13:51 Well, your simple plan's about to get a bit
00:14:04 All right, open up.
00:14:09 Can you believe this?
00:14:11 - I'm sorry.
00:14:14 - Oh, my God!
00:14:16 - I'm so sorry!
00:14:20 - I'm sorry.
00:14:23 Tickets. Tickets, please.
00:14:28 Tickets, please. I'm not doing
00:14:31 - I suppose you'll need some money?
00:14:39 - Hello?
00:14:42 Tickets, please.
00:14:45 - Oh, my...
00:14:47 - I'm sorry.
00:14:58 I said I was...
00:15:00 Ticket.
00:15:03 Hi.
00:15:06 We are so over! Over!
00:15:13 Shoot.
00:15:15 Oh, very funny.
00:15:16 - Excuse me?
00:15:19 - I have a ticket. Give me a minute.
00:15:22 That was my twin sister you just threw off.
00:15:26 Oh, yeah. The phantom twin sister.
00:15:29 Do I look that stupid to you?
00:15:33 Do you want me to answer that?
00:15:34 - I have a ticket! It's in my purse!
00:15:37 Step away from the train.
00:15:41 - God, I'm sorry.
00:15:42 - Sorry.
00:15:44 Here, just give me a sec, okay? One sec.
00:15:47 Okay. If you can't get it out,
00:15:52 Did I just say that out loud?
00:15:55 Yeah, you did.
00:15:58 - Man, you're really stuck, you know that?
00:16:01 All right, on the count of three.
00:16:05 Oh, my God!
00:16:07 Oh, my God.
00:16:11 Hey, it looks nice.
00:16:13 Thanks.
00:16:20 All aboard! If you have a ticket.
00:16:25 I gotta go.
00:16:27 - Okay.
00:16:31 Hopefully.
00:16:33 - Bye.
00:16:43 The ripped look? It's so two minutes ago.
00:16:47 Stay away from me.
00:16:53 According to this schedule, it says there
00:16:57 Not today there isn't. Track construction.
00:17:00 - Next train for New York leaves in 3 hours.
00:17:05 - Taxi!
00:17:06 Taxi!
00:17:08 Nice move.
00:17:58 There you are.
00:18:01 Here I am.
00:18:03 All of the taxis are gone.
00:18:05 And you need a ride.
00:18:08 I give you ride.
00:18:10 - No.
00:18:14 No. I don't take rides from strangers.
00:18:17 But I got a limo. Big, long, white one
00:18:22 I don't believe you. It says it right here.
00:18:27 How could I forget?
00:18:30 It leaves for New York whenever you want.
00:18:35 - Jane!
00:18:38 Because I don't hear anyone.
00:18:40 I just wanna let you know I have a limo
00:18:44 Don't worry,
00:18:48 Your attention please, the 9:45 to...
00:18:51 - Thanks.
00:18:53 - No, it's okay. I got it.
00:18:56 No, it's okay. I insist.
00:18:58 Wait for me.
00:19:00 My personal assistant.
00:19:04 My name's Bennie.
00:19:08 "You and she." The correct grammar is "she."
00:19:13 Smarty pants.
00:19:14 You've reached the Ryan residence.
00:19:19 Yeah, Dr. Ryan, this is Max Lomax...
00:19:21 ...Nassau County Department of Truancy.
00:19:23 I'm calling in regard to
00:19:26 Could you call me at 993-1176...
00:19:30 ...and reference case number
00:19:35 Have a pleasant day.
00:19:54 How's it going?
00:19:59 How you doing?
00:20:05 Stop it.
00:20:07 - Roxy, please. I can't concentrate.
00:20:15 Please stop.
00:20:24 Get me Ma.
00:20:27 It's number-one adopted son.
00:20:30 Bennie? You said you be here by 9 a.m.
00:20:33 That was 20 minutes ago.
00:20:37 Bennie will be there soon, Ma.
00:20:39 Bennie, either you talk in Chinese
00:20:43 But enough with the accent.
00:20:45 - I'm sorry, Ma.
00:20:48 From 9 to 5, you're my number-one
00:20:53 Yes, I'm your killing machine, Ma.
00:20:59 Bye, Ma.
00:21:06 Kids.
00:21:49 Hey, bud? Are you lost?
00:21:57 Ancient Chinese proverb:
00:22:00 Never accept ride from stranger!
00:22:05 - Help! Help us!
00:22:08 - Help! He's gonna kill us!
00:22:15 Come on! Hurry!
00:22:18 Okay, let's go! Come on.
00:22:22 Thank you.
00:22:40 - Why is he after us?
00:22:47 - I think we lost him.
00:23:03 - You speak Chinese?
00:23:07 - Give me that!
00:23:17 Bring it on, tubby.
00:23:19 I didn't know you took jujitsu.
00:23:22 - Tae kwon do.
00:23:24 Two times a week.
00:23:26 Three years.
00:23:31 - Now I'm mad.
00:23:36 - That hurt.
00:23:42 Yeah!
00:23:48 I'm gonna kill you!
00:23:53 That's what we get for
00:23:56 - Please. It was exciting.
00:23:59 Almost being mugged and getting stuck
00:24:05 Now what?
00:24:07 These were my best heels.
00:24:09 Give me the other one.
00:24:11 Give me the shoe. Please. Thank you.
00:24:19 Now they're your best flats.
00:24:23 Either of you ladies spare some change?
00:24:25 - Oh, yeah, here.
00:24:29 - Just let him have the dollar.
00:24:36 Thanks. I got a dollar!
00:24:37 That is not just a cherry Slurpee.
00:24:41 I smell alcohol. Please don't freak.
00:24:47 Or not.
00:25:03 Yes!
00:25:07 Now we're cooking with gas.
00:25:12 Come on, folks. Police emergency.
00:25:16 Come on!
00:25:17 Back up, people. Clear the street.
00:25:23 I look like a duck waddling
00:25:27 DVD.
00:25:31 Very cheap. Need Holiday.
00:25:36 Wait!
00:25:42 Great. Just great.
00:25:46 - Can I use your restroom?
00:25:56 Down the aisle to the left.
00:25:59 She has her whole life ahead of her.
00:26:02 That's what I keep telling her.
00:26:35 You've reached the Ryan residence.
00:26:39 You have one new message.
00:26:41 Yeah, Dr. Ryan, this is Max Lomax...
00:26:44 ...Nassau County Department of Truancy.
00:26:57 - These for now, those for later.
00:27:01 - Thirsty too? Okay.
00:27:14 - You'll never pull it off.
00:27:16 - Not today. Not tomorrow.
00:27:26 I like the yellow one better.
00:27:28 Really?
00:27:34 What did you do, fall in?
00:27:36 Cash or charge?
00:27:39 I need some money.
00:27:42 Total amount is 47.24.
00:27:45 Oh, my God! My day planner!
00:27:48 I must have left it in the limo! My life is in
00:27:55 So I don't suppose I could start a tab?
00:27:58 Tab is for valid customers only.
00:28:00 Thank you. Don't come again.
00:28:03 This is all your fault.
00:28:05 How's it my fault you left
00:28:08 It's your fault I was even in the limo.
00:28:12 I can't even function
00:28:14 I'm trying to think of a reason
00:28:17 Still trying. Still trying.
00:28:21 - You need to chill. You just need to relax.
00:28:25 How am I supposed to relax?
00:28:34 - Snap out of it!
00:28:37 Listen. Okay, your speech doesn't start until
00:28:44 - Four and a half.
00:28:46 Roxy, spontaneity doesn't just happen.
00:28:49 You have to get there and rehearse.
00:28:53 Besides, where am I gonna
00:28:56 I have a plan.
00:28:58 Checking in, ladies?
00:28:59 - We're with the band.
00:29:01 - Well, then.
00:29:03 Welcome, Paris.
00:29:05 - How could you let them go?
00:29:08 - One of them even spoke Chinese.
00:29:11 What's so important
00:29:13 That stupid chip contains millions of dollars
00:29:17 Pirate music? You mean:
00:29:21 Bennie!
00:29:23 Okay. I know what you mean.
00:29:25 We send chip to Hong Kong...
00:29:28 ...they transfer it from chip
00:29:31 They sell pirated copies,
00:29:36 Okay, I understand.
00:29:39 I'll get the chip back
00:29:43 After all, I am your
00:29:46 Get chip, make compact disk,
00:30:05 What are we doing here?
00:30:06 Watch and learn.
00:30:09 I'd love to.
00:30:10 But I'm presenting an award this afternoon.
00:30:15 Carey, come. Hurry, hurry.
00:30:19 Now!
00:30:26 This is your plan?
00:30:28 Yep. And a pretty good one.
00:30:31 Breaking into a hotel room is exactly how
00:30:36 Not going in there.
00:30:42 Okay, I'm going in there.
00:30:45 Okay, I'm just going to get cleaned up,
00:30:49 Clean up, get out.
00:30:54 What?
00:30:57 - It's a...
00:31:02 I think.
00:31:05 Well...
00:31:06 ...you take a shower first...
00:31:08 ...and I'll take the doggy.
00:31:19 - Jane Ryan speaking.
00:31:23 - Roxy!
00:31:26 - What?
00:31:29 Let me... I'll talk to him.
00:31:31 - Be nice.
00:31:33 - Listen, you...
00:31:37 You can take money...
00:31:38 ...you can have the credit cards,
00:31:42 Shut up. I talk, you listen.
00:31:44 - Okay. Good idea.
00:31:48 Roxy, did you eat this man's chips?
00:31:50 - No.
00:31:52 - I didn't eat his chips.
00:31:56 No, not chips. Chip. My microchip.
00:32:00 Listen, we need that book back.
00:32:03 So meet us outside the Plaza Hotel
00:32:32 Found the chip!
00:32:48 - Hi.
00:33:00 Is today my birthday?
00:33:03 Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
00:33:07 - My sister.
00:33:09 ...if my mom finds you.
00:33:13 ...which has my entire life in it.
00:33:17 Okay, so psycho, day planner,
00:33:22 Yeah, makes perfect sense to me.
00:33:24 - Thank you.
00:33:27 But you might have a little trouble
00:33:31 - Why?
00:33:36 No. No, he didn't.
00:33:39 - Are you serious?
00:33:42 - Spit it out. Come on.
00:33:45 - Hello, Trey.
00:33:47 I'm on my way up. Change of schedule.
00:33:50 Bring my purse, dear.
00:33:53 Okay.
00:33:55 All right. So my mom's on her way up.
00:33:57 She's a senator. Anne Baxter Lipton.
00:34:02 - A senator?
00:34:05 - A senator.
00:34:06 I can never run for office now.
00:34:09 - Come here, little puppy.
00:34:12 - Get it out.
00:34:14 - Shake it out.
00:34:16 - Hey, easy...
00:34:18 - Come on.
00:34:21 I need the chip to get the day planner.
00:34:23 - This isn't happening.
00:34:25 Calm down. I don't want it.
00:34:28 Don't throw him.
00:34:32 - Keep it!
00:34:37 My bad.
00:34:40 Oh, thank God. Reinaldo.
00:34:43 Jane, what are you doing?
00:34:47 Without that chip, I am dead.
00:34:50 Okay. Come back here.
00:34:54 Okay. Here we go. Okay.
00:35:00 Trey? Trey?
00:35:02 - My mom.
00:35:04 - I'll be late for the Simple Plan shoot.
00:35:08 - Yeah.
00:35:10 - At least tell me your name before you go.
00:35:13 - Roxy.
00:35:16 I was taking a nap. Sorry.
00:35:20 Look what I got my little boy for lunch.
00:35:23 Thanks, Mom. I already ate.
00:35:25 Reinaldo.
00:35:27 Reinaldo, come here, boy.
00:35:31 Come here, my precious little baby.
00:35:35 Look what Mommy has.
00:35:41 - Hold on.
00:35:44 Trey. Where is Reinaldo?
00:35:47 He's not answering.
00:35:48 Come here, doggy.
00:35:52 Whatever you do, don't look down.
00:35:57 Mom, there's something
00:36:01 Now, Reinaldo, he...
00:36:05 I took him to the groomer's.
00:36:07 Why would you do that?
00:36:09 Because he smelled.
00:36:16 - Don't worry. We're getting out of here.
00:36:19 Oh, God, I almost forgot. I gotta go.
00:36:23 Don't forget to pick up Reinaldo.
00:36:25 Give me the dog.
00:36:30 Deals like this are the result of years
00:36:34 Things don't just fall out of the sky.
00:36:37 - How you doing?
00:36:58 - That wasn't so bad.
00:37:01 Can I have my towel, please?
00:37:11 - Sir, I need your help.
00:37:13 Help me find a dog
00:37:15 Who exactly are they?
00:37:17 Okay, puppy. Okay. Go home.
00:37:21 - What are you doing?
00:37:23 No, we need that dog.
00:37:24 That dog is my life. And when he poops,
00:37:28 Come on, Reinaldo! Come on.
00:37:31 - Good puppy. Okay.
00:37:41 - Am I squashing you?
00:37:45 - Did I just...?
00:37:48 If we keep bumping into each other like
00:37:53 I'm willing to take that chance.
00:37:55 - Roxy!
00:37:58 - How can I find you?
00:38:02 She's home every night.
00:38:04 - What's your name?
00:38:06 I'm Jim!
00:39:17 Here. How am I gonna survive
00:39:20 I don't know.
00:39:22 Come on. You can poopy.
00:39:27 Any luck?
00:39:30 Think we have something.
00:39:35 - False alarm.
00:39:37 - I'm starting to have heart palpitations.
00:39:41 We're gonna fix you up. I promise.
00:39:45 It's all gonna work out.
00:39:49 To get my day planner back.
00:39:52 - I'll go with you.
00:39:55 I don't think that's such a good idea.
00:39:57 Our togetherness today
00:40:01 Rox, I'll be fine.
00:40:03 It's in front of the Plaza.
00:40:06 It's not like this guy's exactly,
00:40:10 So have fun at the concert.
00:40:13 Video shoot.
00:40:15 59th and Ninth. If you care.
00:40:31 Okay, kiddies.
00:40:34 Playtime's over.
00:40:39 Where do you think you're going?
00:40:41 I'm on a case.
00:40:44 What do you mean?
00:40:47 So we're clear on that.
00:40:49 Yeah. I didn't think so.
00:40:58 Jeff. What's up, man? It's Trey.
00:41:00 Hey, you remember that Simple Plan
00:41:04 Yeah. Where is it?
00:41:07 That's awesome, man. You rock.
00:41:11 Boy, talk about anal-retentive.
00:41:18 I'm surprised she doesn't have trips to the
00:41:24 - Look, I think we...
00:41:27 I think we got off on the wrong foot
00:41:30 I just wanna know... Okay.
00:41:36 Give me my chip.
00:41:39 - What's this?
00:41:41 - Excuse me?
00:41:45 ...he ate your chip.
00:41:47 - Is this some kind of joke?
00:41:49 Can I have my day planner back?
00:41:51 You know what I think I do?
00:41:55 No, wait, that might damage the chip.
00:41:58 You give me my chip, or I'll kill you!
00:42:02 No, no. Please don't hurt him.
00:42:04 Give it to me. Let me have it!
00:42:09 Good shot, Reinaldo.
00:42:15 Disgusting!
00:42:29 Mike one, check. Testing, one, two.
00:42:33 Excuse me, fellas.
00:42:35 Excuse me, Cochise. Thattaboy.
00:42:38 - I'm so excited.
00:42:42 - You're good.
00:42:46 - Hi.
00:42:48 I was wondering if you knew
00:42:52 But I mean, I also wanted
00:42:58 Come on! Move it!
00:42:59 - Do you have a pass?
00:43:02 I'll be right back, okay?
00:43:04 - I'll figure it out.
00:43:10 Simple Plan.
00:43:12 They rock.
00:43:17 Got all their LPs.
00:43:21 I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
00:43:26 How come you're not in school?
00:43:28 Okay, okay. Don't worry.
00:43:33 - Excuse me. Coming through.
00:43:37 We're gonna need
00:43:39 So are you guys ready?
00:43:42 Are we ready?
00:43:44 Rox, where are you?
00:43:45 This is the scene live in midtown,
00:43:49 ...is shooting their latest music video.
00:43:54 Nice. Get ready. Welcome, Simple Plan!
00:44:03 What's up, New York City?
00:44:55 Old-school dance moves.
00:45:13 Hi. Please give it a listen.
00:45:16 - Nice packaging. Let's take a look.
00:45:19 Hello, Miss Ryan.
00:45:21 So nice to finally meet you face to face.
00:45:26 It's been quite a chase
00:45:29 One not without a few clever maneuvers
00:45:34 ...but here we are.
00:45:38 - I'll go quietly.
00:45:44 - Just brains.
00:45:47 - Yeah?
00:45:49 What's that?
00:45:56 - I have to get by.
00:46:00 You may want to check your fly.
00:46:23 Roxy!
00:46:30 Hey, man, what's up?
00:46:35 It's Lomax.
00:46:37 Everybody, jump. Jump!
00:46:47 Roxy!
00:47:10 - Lomax!
00:47:13 Lomax?
00:47:15 - We're trapped.
00:47:34 Roxy?
00:47:38 Roxy!
00:47:43 Has everybody washed their hands?
00:47:49 I'm next!
00:47:57 That's gotta hurt.
00:48:02 Sorry about that. Sorry. Excuse me.
00:48:06 I'm looking for two girls and this little dog
00:48:10 - Did you see where they went?
00:48:12 - They went to the Simple Plan after-party.
00:48:15 You know, I'm going there now.
00:48:19 - I could give you a ride.
00:48:22 Thanks.
00:48:29 - This Lomax guy is crazy.
00:48:38 Okay.
00:48:39 - Let's hide in the tent.
00:48:50 Cover up the manhole. We're done here.
00:48:53 Give me a hand!
00:48:58 The climactic event
00:49:02 And I'm drenched with a dog
00:49:05 No. See, we're in luck.
00:49:09 - I'm just trying to look on the bright side.
00:49:15 Well, I don't know. I was thinking that...
00:49:19 That what?
00:49:20 We haven't spent
00:49:25 And today has made me realize
00:49:30 And I don't know, I was having fun.
00:49:33 And you were too, because I saw
00:49:36 ...when we were crowd surfing.
00:49:39 - I was acting for the cameras.
00:49:44 Okay, so maybe it was a little fun.
00:49:48 - What's with that Lomax guy?
00:49:52 He's been after me for years,
00:49:56 What can I say?
00:49:58 You're insane. You know that?
00:50:00 Yeah. I know.
00:50:08 You okay, buddy?
00:50:10 Yeah, I'm doing just fine,
00:50:13 Wife and kids? Think it'll rain?
00:50:16 Are we through chitchatting?
00:50:18 Tell me where this sewer pipe leads?
00:50:20 Well, that one there comes directly
00:50:24 Only way in or out.
00:50:33 - How's the patient?
00:50:36 I'm gonna miss my daughter's speech
00:50:39 She's gonna be so disappointed.
00:50:46 The unpublicized event has drawn
00:50:50 Come on, move off the road. Please?
00:51:02 Hi, it's Jane. Leave a message.
00:51:04 Jane. Hey, it's Jim.
00:51:07 The guy that ripped your skirt
00:51:12 Sorry about that.
00:51:15 Anyway, I was just calling
00:51:19 So...
00:51:22 I'll keep looking for you.
00:51:26 See you.
00:51:30 We need to get out of here.
00:51:33 Wait a sec. Columbia's
00:51:36 Right.
00:51:38 I got you nine blocks away.
00:51:48 She can't get a date
00:51:51 What's up with this fool?
00:51:54 White people are crazy.
00:51:57 Roxy, Columbia's on the West Side.
00:52:04 - Here we are. Let's find a subway.
00:52:08 Good idea.
00:52:16 - Can I help you?
00:52:21 We're from the gas company.
00:52:25 - No gas here. Okay.
00:52:28 I can't have anyone seeing you leave
00:52:32 - Mickey, show them out the back way.
00:52:36 Oh, come on.
00:52:39 - What? What is it?
00:52:42 It's 1:13. I'm never gonna make it.
00:52:45 What's wrong with that girl?
00:52:46 - She doesn't do well under pressure.
00:52:51 - Call 991. Call 991.
00:52:53 Call 991! 991?
00:52:56 Stay calm!
00:52:59 Thank you. I'm not thirsty.
00:53:01 It's okay. Breathe. Breathe. Deep breaths.
00:53:04 Happy thoughts. Sing with me, okay?
00:53:33 - You okay?
00:53:36 Dang, what's that all about?
00:53:38 In two hours, I'm supposed to make
00:53:43 It's been a rough day.
00:53:44 Sweetheart, if it was all smooth sailing,
00:53:48 - Bored to tears, that's what.
00:53:51 Take this sister over here.
00:53:55 Good. It's the curve balls
00:53:59 Shows us what we're made of.
00:54:00 And sometimes, if we're real lucky...
00:54:04 ...there's a blessing waiting for us
00:54:08 Well, what if there's been
00:54:11 That last wrong turn brought you
00:54:14 So prepare to be blessed.
00:54:17 Mickey. Bring me my toolbox.
00:54:21 - Who's Major Bling?
00:54:25 This is where the bling is born.
00:54:29 You got nothing to worry about.
00:54:39 Just so we're clear,
00:55:09 Boy, you is filthy.
00:55:30 Boyfriend. Well, you girlfriend now.
00:55:48 New York Knicks, baby! New York Knicks!
00:56:07 - You look so hot.
00:56:09 Sisters got some sister in them!
00:56:12 Y'all good to go.
00:56:34 - Thank you so much.
00:56:36 - I promise we'll pay you back.
00:56:39 - Thank you.
00:56:41 - Good luck.
00:56:42 - All right.
00:56:44 Hello? Oh, it's for you.
00:56:48 Hello? Jane Ryan speaking.
00:56:49 I have your boyfriend.
00:56:52 - I don't have a boyfriend.
00:56:55 My sister doesn't
00:56:58 Okay, look. Whatever.
00:57:02 You meet me in Times Square
00:57:06 ...in 20 minutes,
00:57:10 He's gonna burn my book.
00:57:12 He's not gonna burn your book.
00:57:17 - We have to go.
00:57:19 We need a ride, Big Shirl.
00:57:21 - Mickey, get your cab.
00:57:23 - Around the corner.
00:57:25 - Be careful. All right. See you.
00:57:30 Who's that cracker?
00:57:34 I don't know.
00:57:37 Hurry, get in the car!
00:57:40 Okay.
00:57:44 Jane, start the car.
00:57:46 I'm not exactly a strong driver.
00:57:53 Step out of the car, Ryan. It's all over.
00:57:55 - What do I do?
00:58:05 Watch out for the guy!
00:58:07 - Slow down!
00:58:09 - Braking. Red.
00:58:11 Stop!
00:58:19 Nassau County Department of Truancy.
00:58:24 - Okey-dokey.
00:58:26 Tim Brooger. My wife, Steffi.
00:58:29 - Pleased to meet you.
00:58:40 How you got your driver's license
00:58:44 You didn't? You failed your driver's test?
00:58:48 I got 100 percent on the written.
00:58:54 - Are we gonna be in a car chase?
00:58:57 - We've never been in a car chase.
00:59:00 - Seen them on TV.
00:59:03 - Oh, shoot...
00:59:06 Done, sir.
00:59:08 - Where is he? Is he behind us?
00:59:15 We drove all the way from Minnetonka,
00:59:19 The Big Apple.
00:59:21 - They say it's the city that never sleeps.
00:59:27 - Red light, red light!
00:59:30 Red!
00:59:32 I read the rule book.
00:59:35 Hi. I need to go to 112th...
00:59:39 Go! Floor it!
00:59:43 - Oh, God!
00:59:46 God, that is so hot!
00:59:53 Would you give me just a little air?
00:59:56 - I can't do this.
01:00:01 - I'm getting killed.
01:00:06 Whoopsy-daisy!
01:00:07 - Can you drive a little bit faster?
01:00:10 I'll drive!
01:00:12 I don't know if this would be helpful,
01:00:16 Sure, we use that for campfire sing-alongs
01:00:22 Testing. Testing, one, two.
01:00:25 - Roxanne Ryan, this is the law.
01:00:28 - Pull over. Give yourself up.
01:00:30 You think I'm kidding. I'm not.
01:00:34 You'll be in detention the rest of your life.
01:00:38 - This is kind of fun.
01:00:40 Where'd he go?
01:00:43 I think we lost him.
01:00:45 You might wanna look to your right.
01:00:47 Okay, playtime's over, Ryan.
01:00:51 - Pull over!
01:00:57 You're going the wrong way!
01:00:58 - I thought you said right here.
01:01:02 I have it under control.
01:01:03 Yeah, right. Then where are we going?
01:01:06 What are you doing?
01:01:08 Signaling. I know the rules.
01:01:12 Why are we reversing?
01:01:15 - We're going the wrong way.
01:01:19 - You're mine now, Ryan.
01:01:23 - We'll make it.
01:01:25 - Who's the professional here, you or me?
01:01:30 Go!
01:01:35 Look, there's a gate!
01:01:42 I'm sorry.
01:01:55 - Take some of that.
01:01:59 I just saved your life,
01:02:03 - Welcome to my world.
01:02:06 It means you're always
01:02:08 - Looking down on you?
01:02:10 I've been looking out for you.
01:02:13 Hey. Let me out of this car!
01:02:21 Thanks for nothing!
01:02:23 - How have you been looking out for me?
01:02:29 The one day, the one time I want it
01:02:33 ...I get inducted into the Roxy Ryan
01:02:36 I've been trying to help you
01:02:40 Lot of good that's done.
01:02:42 Where are you going? I'm not finished.
01:02:45 Yeah, well, I am.
01:02:47 Why don't you run along and have fun.
01:02:51 As opposed to you, which is walking away
01:02:56 I don't have time for a real conversation.
01:02:59 - I'm too busy taking care of things.
01:03:02 You did. The minute you stopped taking
01:03:06 That doesn't mean you get
01:03:12 You know what I miss most about Mom?
01:03:15 Is that she loved that we were different.
01:03:18 And you punish me for it.
01:03:22 From the day Mom died...
01:03:24 ...you've done nothing but push me
01:03:27 - I have not.
01:03:31 The biggest day of your academic career,
01:03:37 Well, forgive me for wanting the day
01:03:42 I make honor roll, Dad doesn't notice
01:03:46 I'm captain of the cheerleading squad,
01:03:50 One game, because he's busy going
01:03:56 You wanna know why I want
01:03:59 It's because it's 3000 miles
01:04:08 Well, I really hope you get it, then.
01:05:51 Roxy.
01:06:04 Don't you worry. I'm not going to let
01:06:09 Hey, I don't know who you are
01:06:12 ...but you've caused me a great deal
01:06:15 Not to mention, I am this close
01:06:18 So let's have it. Let's have it.
01:06:21 You finished?
01:06:25 Ancient Chinese proverb:
01:06:29 - Anyone, help!
01:06:47 Perfect timing.
01:06:50 Hello!
01:06:51 Help!
01:06:53 Help!
01:06:54 - Help me!
01:06:56 Roxy?
01:06:58 - Trey?
01:07:00 - What are you doing in there?
01:07:05 - Thanks.
01:07:08 I'm coming to find you, next thing I know,
01:07:13 Just when you think the day
01:07:20 - You okay?
01:07:23 She was gonna give a speech today.
01:07:27 ...because there's no way she's getting
01:07:32 You sure about that?
01:07:40 - Do you wanna take a field trip right now?
01:07:44 - Come on.
01:07:46 Taxi!
01:07:52 Now, it's just you and me.
01:07:57 All alone. No excuses.
01:08:04 Come on. Drink this.
01:08:06 Drink this, and then the chip
01:08:09 This goes in here, chip come out here.
01:08:13 I'm not kidding around. Drink it.
01:08:16 See?
01:08:18 Like that. Hey, that's pretty good.
01:08:24 Come on.
01:08:27 This movie isn't out yet.
01:08:32 Neither is this CD.
01:08:34 So that's what these guys are up to.
01:08:38 Just listen to me. Give me that chip.
01:08:43 I don't even know what this is.
01:08:45 But it's not gonna be pleasant.
01:08:48 Now, give me the chip!
01:08:50 Look into my eyes.
01:08:53 I'm torturing you.
01:08:56 It's unbearable!
01:08:58 Bennie! This is your idea of torture?
01:09:02 It's pathetic!
01:09:04 We do it my way.
01:09:07 Cats have nine lives.
01:09:09 I wonder if little doggy does.
01:09:17 Okay. I hope they haven't started.
01:09:20 I can't run in these heels.
01:09:21 The increase and/or decrease
01:09:25 ...or other such political aggregate...
01:09:27 ...can be regarded as the penultimate
01:09:33 Go see what she's doing.
01:09:37 Cut it out in there! You make a mess,
01:09:45 Sorry!
01:09:48 - He bit me!
01:09:50 Come on, Reinaldo. Come on!
01:09:52 Come on.
01:10:06 - Hey, stranger.
01:10:08 - I have 28 minutes to go 111 blocks.
01:10:12 - Where'd they go?
01:10:15 - Okay.
01:10:23 Hold on, okay?
01:10:27 - You all right?
01:10:40 This is it.
01:10:44 I don't see her.
01:10:47 Jane Ryan?
01:10:50 - Yeah?
01:10:54 - Are you sure you know what you're doing?
01:10:57 ...I got her into this mess,
01:11:00 Plus, how hard could it be reading
01:11:04 Just go with me on this one.
01:11:07 Okay, yeah. You're gonna do great.
01:11:20 - All right. See you out there. Good luck.
01:11:32 Nice blazer, Muffie.
01:11:40 Oh, gridlock!
01:11:42 - Do you have a horn?
01:11:45 Hey, what are you doing?
01:11:47 Sorry.
01:11:49 Excuse us.
01:11:52 - Sorry.
01:11:56 In this instance, we must defer to the
01:12:00 ...who laid the foundation of a free market.
01:12:07 Mother.
01:12:09 What are you doing here?
01:12:12 I'm honorary chair of the McGill Fellowship.
01:12:18 - I wanted to see you present the award.
01:12:21 Our last finalist is from Long Island
01:12:25 She's student-body president
01:12:29 Please welcome Jane Ryan.
01:12:43 Keep it together. It's okay.
01:12:56 Oh, my God.
01:13:00 You may proceed...
01:13:02 ...Miss Ryan.
01:13:08 - Please.
01:13:14 Oh, man.
01:13:21 Well...
01:13:22 ...as many of you all know...
01:13:27 ...the economy is...
01:13:29 ...very, very important to all of us.
01:13:34 Take the word "economy."
01:13:37 You have "eco,"
01:13:43 You know, which we're all
01:13:47 And we have "onomy," which...
01:13:51 ...is pig Latin for "money."
01:13:55 Money, economy.
01:13:58 Right.
01:14:14 - Go, go, go. Good luck.
01:14:18 - Are you coming? Come on.
01:14:30 Well...
01:14:32 ...for as the...
01:14:35 ...the famous,
01:14:40 ...Avril Lavigne...
01:14:43 ...stein once said, and I quote:
01:14:47 "Why'd you have to go and make things
01:14:51 I see the way you're acting, like you're
01:14:56 Life's like this:
01:15:00 ...and you break, and you take
01:15:03 You turn it into honesty...
01:15:05 ...and promise me I'm never
01:15:10 No. No.
01:15:14 No."
01:15:23 - Oh, thank God.
01:15:26 Well, ladies and gentlemen,
01:15:30 ...will the real Jane Ryan please stand up?
01:15:38 Reinaldo!
01:15:40 Trey, what is going on?
01:15:43 Apparently, the dog groomer delivers.
01:15:48 Are you okay?
01:15:50 What are you doing here?
01:15:52 Well, aside from completely
01:15:55 I'm sorry. I wanted to read
01:15:58 No. Please. Here. I can take it from here.
01:16:03 Are you sure?
01:16:06 Ladies and gentlemen,
01:16:12 Roxy, behind you!
01:16:14 Nassau County Department of Truancy.
01:16:16 This girl, Roxanne Ryan,
01:16:19 And that girl, Jane Ryan, is an accomplice
01:16:24 And she stole my stupid ugly mutt too.
01:16:26 I don't know what is going on here,
01:16:29 Come here, ugly doggy.
01:16:31 - And I order you to give him back.
01:16:37 - Officer!
01:16:39 Arrest that man!
01:16:42 Yes, ma'am.
01:16:43 Oh, my baby.
01:16:46 Fly.
01:16:49 Every time.
01:16:50 - Hey, that's my mom's dog!
01:16:56 It doesn't look like Cats.
01:17:00 Everybody, freeze.
01:17:05 Someone please explain to me
01:17:11 I think I can do that.
01:17:14 See, this guy over here...
01:17:16 ...that man who thinks he's Chinese...
01:17:19 - And his mother are criminals dealing
01:17:24 ...and probably Gucci handbags.
01:17:28 - Probably.
01:17:30 - We know him. He drove us over here.
01:17:36 A cop and an actor.
01:17:38 And how, may I ask, did you two
01:17:41 - I think I can shed some light on that.
01:17:45 ...senator, it was this crime fighter here,
01:17:51 ...who tracked down the Bang family
01:17:56 So really, we're just witnesses
01:18:03 - Yeah! What she said.
01:18:07 Did you engineer this collar?
01:18:11 Well, I don't want to gloat, senator,
01:18:15 ...might be a more appropriate
01:18:18 I love you.
01:18:23 Just a second.
01:18:25 I assume that wasn't the speech
01:18:29 - Not exactly, but...
01:18:31 But you should have heard the real one.
01:18:34 It was amazing, and I know this, because
01:18:39 And trust me, she would have won
01:18:42 I'm sorry today didn't work out
01:18:46 See, I thought today was about the speech,
01:18:53 ...my academic future.
01:18:56 But instead, it was about something
01:19:02 It just took me a few wrong turns
01:19:12 - That was something else, wasn't it?
01:19:17 Yes. You gotta... Come on.
01:19:20 Gotta give it up for the Cats!
01:19:24 Who let the cats out?
01:19:26 Get your hands where I can see them.
01:19:28 - Who let the cats out?
01:19:31 Zip it, Odd Job.
01:19:33 Thanks to you, that's all gonna change.
01:19:40 Let me do it.
01:19:47 - So you're not mad?
01:19:50 I can't believe what you did for me today.
01:19:53 - Listen...
01:19:56 ...for saying the things I said earlier.
01:19:59 ...I was having a meltdown.
01:20:02 That's because every time I tried to fix it,
01:20:05 The point is...
01:20:08 ...we haven't spent the day together
01:20:14 ...and I've really missed you.
01:20:18 I've missed you too.
01:20:21 And I'm so, so sorry
01:20:25 ...like you had to take Mom's place.
01:20:30 She would have been really proud.
01:20:33 Both of us.
01:20:53 It was really great bumping
01:20:57 Maybe we could bump again.
01:21:01 Did I just say that?
01:21:04 - Yeah.
01:21:05 And I'm glad you did.
01:21:08 - So how about you just give me a call?
01:21:12 Yeah.
01:21:15 Jane Ryan?
01:21:19 Bye.
01:21:21 Bye.
01:21:22 Allow me to introduce myself.
01:21:28 Listen, I am so sorry about everything
01:21:31 You know what?
01:21:33 I think you handled yourself really well
01:21:37 The McGill Foundation
01:21:40 ...if you would represent us
01:21:46 But...
01:21:48 - I don't understand.
01:21:51 This would have been an amazing speech.
01:21:55 It's not just that you wanted to win...
01:21:58 ...it's that you absolutely refused to fail.
01:22:01 And you didn't.
01:22:03 You deserve this fellowship, Jane.
01:22:08 - Congratulations and good luck.
01:22:16 - Can you believe it?
01:22:22 I don't...
01:22:24 - Thank you.
01:22:31 One, two, three, four!
01:23:06 - Hey.
01:23:08 So have you given any thought
01:23:12 Yeah. Yeah, I'm not gonna
01:23:15 It's not gonna work out for me. Sorry.
01:23:19 It's okay. I mean, your whole life's here.
01:23:22 Jane, I'm playing. I'm moving. I'm actually
01:23:28 Really? Seriously?
01:23:30 - Are you excited?
01:23:36 I've got this great idea for the video.
01:23:38 It's, like, Roxy, and she's dressed
01:23:42 Well, maybe I should just be happy that I'm
01:23:47 ...and keep these thoughts to myself.
01:23:55 Open up! Police!
01:23:58 Cut it, guys. Cut it.
01:24:15 Sorry to break up the party here, kids.
01:24:18 But you see, I got this little VW Bug
01:24:24 License number 2 Quilted Laxative 4
01:24:31 Where's Roxanne Ryan?
01:24:33 You've got to be kidding me.
01:24:36 I am.
01:24:38 I just stopped by to wish you
01:24:42 ...and maybe get an autograph.
01:24:45 Of course you may, Officer Lomax.
01:24:52 Thank you, ma'am.
01:24:59 Hey, lggy Pop, crank the juice on that half
01:25:04 You heard him. Let's roll the guitars.
01:25:07 Nice work, son.
01:30:44 [ENGLISH]