Noises Off

en
00:00:53 "Noises Off..."
00:01:53 [doorman] Curtain's going up.
00:01:54 Curtain is going up!
00:01:58 [man] A big Broadway opening.
00:02:00 Everybody who's anybody in New York
00:02:04 Everybody but one man.
00:02:07 This man. Me!
00:02:10 Lloyd, where are you going?
00:02:13 I just have to...
00:02:15 - One of two things.
00:02:18 Mr. Fellows,
00:02:20 - It's facing the stage.
00:02:22 It's gonna be a disaster.
00:02:43 Five seconds,
00:02:49 I'm not running away.
00:02:52 out of watching an automobile crash.
00:02:55 It'll be the worst catastrophe
00:02:58 They'll forget their lines,
00:03:00 None of us will
00:03:02 They've got big pictures of us in the lobby.
00:03:05 I should've got on a plane
00:03:08 I should've got on a plane
00:03:11 I should've got on a plane
00:03:13 as soon as that curtain went up
00:03:16 As soon as that damn phone rang,
00:03:18 with that first plate of sardines.
00:03:20 [phone rings]
00:03:23 [woman] Hold on! Hold your horses.
00:03:28 Oh, Lord love a duck!
00:03:29 Shut up, I'm on my way.
00:03:32 It's no good you going on.
00:03:35 I can't open sardines
00:03:38 I've only got one pair of feet.
00:03:40 Hello?
00:03:42 Yes, but there's no one here, love.
00:03:45 No, Mr. Brent's not here.
00:03:47 He lives here, yes, but he don't live here
00:03:50 Mr. Philip Brent,
00:03:53 only now he writes them in Spain.
00:03:56 Nope, she's in Spain, too.
00:03:59 Am I in Spain?
00:04:02 I look after the house for them,
00:04:07 So, that's where I am.
00:04:09 No, because I got a nice plate of sardines
00:04:13 And they got color here
00:04:17 What's it called?
00:04:19 Where'd the paper go?
00:04:24 then you'll have to ring the house agents
00:04:27 Squire, Squire, Hackham
00:04:31 No, they're not in Spain.
00:04:35 Squire, Squire, Hackham and...
00:04:37 Hold on, I'll go and look.
00:04:41 Soon as you take the weight off your feet,
00:04:46 And I take the sardines.
00:04:51 No, I take the sardines.
00:04:52 [Lloyd] You leave the sardines
00:04:57 Yes, right. I hang up... the phone.
00:05:01 [Lloyd] And you leave the sardines.
00:05:04 I leave the sardines?
00:05:06 You leave the sardines.
00:05:08 I hang up the phone
00:05:12 Right!
00:05:15 We've changed that, have we, dear?
00:05:17 - No, dear.
00:05:21 I wouldn't say that, Dotty, my precious.
00:05:24 How about the words, dear?
00:05:28 Some of them have a very familiar ring.
00:05:31 It's like a slot machine up here.
00:05:34 I know that, Dotty.
00:05:36 I open my mouth and I never know
00:05:39 Three oranges or two lemons
00:05:41 Anyway, it's not midnight yet.
00:05:46 You're holding the receiver.
00:05:48 I'm holding the receiver.
00:05:50 "Squire, Squire, Hackham".
00:05:55 Squire, Squire, Hackham
00:05:58 I'm hanging up the phone.
00:06:01 Put your feet up for two minutes
00:06:05 Hold it!
00:06:06 My housekeeper, yes,
00:06:09 Hold it, Larry. Dotty!
00:06:11 We've got the place entirely to ourselves.
00:06:14 Hold it, Brooke.
00:06:15 Dotty!
00:06:16 Come back?
00:06:18 Yes, and go out again
00:06:21 The newspaper?
00:06:23 Oh, the newspaper.
00:06:25 Hang up the phone, you leave the sardines
00:06:31 - Here you are.
00:06:33 Don't worry about it, hon.
00:06:35 It's the dress rehearsal, Garry, hon.
00:06:38 - When was the tech rehearsal?
00:06:42 We're all thinking of it
00:06:45 - All those words...
00:06:48 And that accent.
00:06:52 Your words are fine. Your words are better
00:06:56 - Isn't that right?
00:06:57 Okay, so he's the... fine!
00:07:00 But, dear, you've been
00:07:04 Jesus, you know what I mean!
00:07:06 All right, Garry and Brooke are off.
00:07:10 No, but here we are. We're all thinking,
00:07:14 "We had two weeks to rehearse. We don't
00:07:18 That's right, sweetie! Isn't it?
00:07:20 Beautifully put, Garry.
00:07:21 We've got to play Des Moines
00:07:24 and then God knows where, and where
00:07:28 We're all feeling pretty much...
00:07:31 - Aren't you?
00:07:32 Anyway, you're off
00:07:34 Sometimes you have
00:07:37 - I know.
00:07:39 So, you're off.
00:07:40 Let me just say one thing,
00:07:43 I've worked with a lot of directors.
00:07:47 but I've never met one who was
00:07:52 Thank you, I'm very touched.
00:07:57 - And Brooke?
00:07:59 - Are you in?
00:08:01 - Are you there?
00:08:03 You're out, okay. I'll call again.
00:08:07 And on we go,
00:08:12 There I am holding the receiver.
00:08:17 - Always the same story...
00:08:21 I take the newspaper.
00:08:25 Always the same story.
00:08:28 it's a load off your stomach.
00:08:31 Leaving the receiver.
00:08:38 My housekeeper, yes, but...
00:08:41 And, noises off.
00:08:43 Stage!
00:08:46 My housekeeper, yes,
00:08:49 We've got the place
00:08:52 I'll just check.
00:08:53 Hello? Anyone at home?
00:08:56 No, there's no one here.
00:08:59 Great and this is all yours?
00:09:01 Just a little shack in the woods really.
00:09:03 - Converted posset mill, 16th century.
00:09:06 One has to have somewhere
00:09:09 Someone coming at 4:00, in fact.
00:09:12 I've got to get those files
00:09:15 Yes, we'll only just manage to fit it in.
00:09:19 - Right.
00:09:22 - All these doors.
00:09:25 Study, kitchen and
00:09:27 - Terrific, and which one's the...
00:09:29 - You know.
00:09:31 Fantastic.
00:09:34 Only now I've lost the sardines.
00:09:38 I'm sorry, I thought there was no one here.
00:09:40 I'm not here, I'm off.
00:09:43 The horse race, where they wear
00:09:46 - And who are you?
00:09:49 - Squire, Squire, Hackham and Dudley.
00:09:53 I'm Tramplemain.
00:09:55 Walking in here as if you own the place,
00:09:58 No, I just dropped in
00:10:01 To check some of the measurements.
00:10:07 And I'm showing
00:10:10 - What's wrong with the door?
00:10:13 Her interest is definitely roused.
00:10:16 - That's not the bedroom.
00:10:19 No, that's the downstairs bathroom
00:10:22 This is the housekeeper, Mrs. Crockett.
00:10:24 - Clackett, dear.
00:10:27 - Only it's the color.
00:10:29 - It's black and white at home.
00:10:31 I'll have the sound on low.
00:10:33 - We'll just inspect the house.
00:10:37 - [Lloyd] Sardines!
00:10:40 That's all right,
00:10:43 Sardines!
00:10:47 I forgot the sardines.
00:10:49 Lloyd! These damn sardines.
00:10:52 We gotta do something about them.
00:10:56 - Can't go on like what, Garry?
00:10:59 but we've got to work with these sardines.
00:11:02 - Sorry?
00:11:03 - What sardines?
00:11:07 and there are four plates of sardines
00:11:10 You want something instead of sardines,
00:11:14 You want Poppy
00:11:16 We don't want four plates
00:11:19 We're changing the sardines.
00:11:20 - We're not angry at you, Poppy.
00:11:24 I'm perfectly happy
00:11:27 I am, if you are, hon.
00:11:29 Garry, what exactly are you saying?
00:11:31 Simply this. Here we are,
00:11:35 - I see. You got that?
00:11:38 Right and on we go, from Dotty's exit.
00:11:41 - Yes?
00:11:44 Oh, no.
00:11:46 I just thought
00:11:48 - Of course, as long as Dotty's happy.
00:11:51 Would you do something for me?
00:11:53 Anything, sweetheart.
00:11:55 Take the sardines off with you.
00:11:59 - [Garry] I'm sorry about this.
00:12:02 We don't want the television, do we?
00:12:05 She's been in the family for generations.
00:12:07 Great. Come on, then.
00:12:11 Perhaps we should just have champagne.
00:12:13 Take it up with us.
00:12:16 - No, only...
00:12:18 She has been in the family for generations.
00:12:21 Sardines!
00:12:24 It's not for me to say of course,
00:12:28 Take the plunge,
00:12:31 - Great.
00:12:33 - Yes.
00:12:35 - Won't we, love?
00:12:38 Sardines! Can't put your feet up
00:12:43 See? She thinks it's great.
00:12:47 I think she's terrific.
00:12:49 - Terrific.
00:12:52 Before she comes back with the sardines.
00:12:55 - Up here?
00:12:57 - In here?
00:13:00 It's another bathroom.
00:13:04 I mean, in here.
00:13:06 - A black sheet.
00:13:10 This one!
00:13:12 - You're in a real state.
00:13:14 You can't even get the door open.
00:13:16 This is Mrs. Clackett's afternoon off.
00:13:21 Look at it.
00:13:23 Hold it!
00:13:27 And God said, "Hold it"!
00:13:31 And they held it,
00:13:36 - [Garry] Sorry, the door won't open.
00:13:40 And God said, Poppy!
00:13:42 Am I doing something wrong?
00:13:44 - Freddie, darling, you're doing it perfectly.
00:13:48 And there was Poppy.
00:13:50 And God said, "Be fruitful and multiply.
00:13:53 - "And fetch Tim, to fix the doors".
00:13:57 She loves tech rehearsals, isn't she just...
00:14:02 - Everyone's always so nice to everyone.
00:14:06 Belinda's being all, you know.
00:14:08 Freddie, don't you like
00:14:10 Only thing I like about them
00:14:13 Freddie, it's so good to see you
00:14:17 Was that a joke?
00:14:18 This is such a nice company to work with.
00:14:21 Wait till we get to Broadway in six months.
00:14:23 - If.
00:14:26 Lloyd, my darling, are you all right?
00:14:27 I'm starting to know what God felt like when
00:14:32 What did he feel like?
00:14:34 Very pleased he'd taken his Valium.
00:14:36 He had six days, of course.
00:14:40 God said, "Where the hell is Tim"?
00:14:44 "Let there be doors that open when they
00:14:49 - Do something?
00:14:50 - I was getting bananas for the sardines.
00:14:54 I bet God had a stage manager
00:14:57 - That door won't close.
00:15:00 - Right.
00:15:03 Don't worry, Tim. Only another 24 hours,
00:15:07 Look, he's come down to earth,
00:15:10 Listen, since we've stopped anyway.
00:15:15 So we shan't have time for dress rehearsal.
00:15:17 - What?
00:15:19 Think of the first night
00:15:22 If we can just get through
00:15:24 for doors and sardines,
00:15:28 Doors and sardines.
00:15:29 Getting on, getting off,
00:15:33 That's farce. That's the theater.
00:15:39 God, you're so deep.
00:15:42 So, just keep going.
00:15:44 Bang, bang, bang!
00:15:47 Bang, you're on. Bang, you said it.
00:15:50 Everything will be perfectly...
00:15:53 - Oh, God!
00:15:57 - I thought he was with you.
00:16:00 Is Mr. Mowbray in his dressing room?
00:16:02 I don't think he would.
00:16:05 - Would who?
00:16:06 - I'm sure he wouldn't.
00:16:09 - Would what?
00:16:11 Now come on, people, be fair.
00:16:13 - Don't jump to conclusions.
00:16:16 Hurry up with those doors.
00:16:19 Right.
00:16:21 He should never have been let
00:16:26 He's been good in rehearsal.
00:16:28 Because in the rehearsal hall,
00:16:31 - You mean, you could see everyone.
00:16:34 Split in two.
00:16:35 There's a front and a back.
00:16:38 - He's not in his dressing room.
00:16:40 In the prop room, the paint shop,
00:16:43 - You've worked with him before.
00:16:46 Door's finished? Get the gear on.
00:16:50 No, it's my fault, my love.
00:16:52 - I cast him.
00:16:56 What could I do? We did summer
00:16:59 It's my fault.
00:17:02 This tour isn't just for her.
00:17:04 - We know that.
00:17:07 - Of course not.
00:17:09 - I just wanted to put something away.
00:17:12 Something to buy a little house.
00:17:15 - Don't blame yourself.
00:17:17 - I won't let you cry.
00:17:21 You couldn't expect Brooke
00:17:24 He was standing right there
00:17:27 Who are we talking about now?
00:17:29 It's all right,
00:17:31 Do you mean Selsdon?
00:17:37 - He's been here all the time.
00:17:41 You really surprised us.
00:17:44 - Not there.
00:17:46 - Are you all right?
00:17:48 Is it a party?
00:17:50 Is it a party?
00:17:52 Is it? How killing. I got it into my head
00:17:56 I was having a little postprandial snooze
00:18:00 so to be ready for the rehearsal.
00:18:02 - Isn't he lovely?
00:18:05 - What are we celebrating?
00:18:09 You look strained.
00:18:12 I can't find the gear.
00:18:15 Beer? In the wardrobe?
00:18:18 No, Selsdon.
00:18:20 Why don't you sit down quietly upstairs
00:18:23 I'll just do the bananas first.
00:18:25 He has been on his feet for 48 hours.
00:18:27 Don't fall down. We may not be insured.
00:18:30 [crash]
00:18:35 [Selsdon] What's next on the bill?
00:18:37 I thought we might try a spot of rehearsal.
00:18:39 - I won't, thank you.
00:18:41 You all go ahead. I'll just sit and watch.
00:18:44 - This is the beer in the wardrobe?
00:18:48 Yes, but we've got to rehearse, haven't we?
00:18:50 Rehearse, yes, well done.
00:18:53 Right, from Belinda
00:18:56 What's happened now?
00:18:57 The police.
00:18:59 They found an old man lying unconscious
00:19:02 - Thank you.
00:19:06 I thought, "Oh, my God"
00:19:10 No, I mean, if you stand
00:19:13 you can't help noticing
00:19:18 I'll tell you something, once you get it
00:19:24 Sixty years now, and the smell
00:19:30 Bless him.
00:19:31 Tell me, love. How did you get a job like
00:19:36 You're not somebody's girlfriend, are you?
00:19:38 Don't worry, he truly did not hear.
00:19:41 - Not here?
00:19:43 - Sit down, darling.
00:19:45 You're not on for another 20 pages.
00:19:47 I might go back to sleep.
00:19:51 And on we go. Dotty in the kitchen,
00:19:54 Garry and Brooke ascending the stairs.
00:19:57 Freddie and Belinda,
00:20:00 Time sliding irrevocably into the past.
00:20:02 Aren't they sweet?
00:20:03 - Garry and Dotty.
00:20:06 - It's supposed to be a secret.
00:20:09 Tramplemain and Mrs. Clackett?
00:20:11 - Didn't you know?
00:20:13 The one with the English degree.
00:20:16 - [Garry] What's happening?
00:20:18 What are we waiting for?
00:20:19 I don't know what you're waiting for.
00:20:23 Or maybe just the cue.
00:20:25 "You can't even get the door open".
00:20:28 - You can't even get the door open.
00:20:37 [Brooke] You can't even get the door open.
00:20:40 But this is Mrs. Clackett's afternoon off.
00:20:44 - Look at it.
00:20:46 I can't believe it.
00:20:48 - The perfect place for an assignation.
00:20:52 Our secret hideaway.
00:20:53 The last place on earth
00:20:56 - It's funny creeping in like this.
00:20:58 If Inland Revenue finds out
00:21:01 bang goes our claim to be resident abroad.
00:21:05 - I feel like an illegal immigrant.
00:21:08 - Champagne?
00:21:10 - Darling?
00:21:12 No children, no friends dropping in,
00:21:15 True.
00:21:17 There is something to be said
00:21:21 Leave those.
00:21:24 - What?
00:21:27 What I did with that first lot of sardines,
00:21:32 - Mrs. Clackett!
00:21:35 [Dotty] You've given me a turn.
00:21:38 - So did mine.
00:21:40 I thought you was in Spain.
00:21:41 - We are.
00:21:43 - We're not here.
00:21:46 - The income tax after you?
00:21:49 All right. You're not here.
00:21:51 Anybody asks for you,
00:21:55 Off to bed?
00:21:58 That's right. Nowhere like bed
00:22:02 You'll want your things, look.
00:22:04 Yes, thanks.
00:22:05 - That bed hasn't been aired, love.
00:22:09 I put all your letters in the study, dear.
00:22:11 What letters?
00:22:14 Not the ones from the income tax.
00:22:17 - Where are they?
00:22:20 In your desk, love.
00:22:23 - Yes, but I could hear voices.
00:22:27 - [Lloyd] Hold it. What's the trouble?
00:22:31 Sorry, Garry. Sorry, Brooke.
00:22:34 Why do I take this into the study?
00:22:38 No.
00:22:40 I just thought it might be more logical.
00:22:42 No.
00:22:45 I know it's late in the day
00:22:47 No, we've got several
00:22:51 Thank you, as long
00:22:53 I never understood why he carries a bag
00:22:57 They have to be out of the way
00:23:00 And Selsdon needs them in the study
00:23:02 - I see that.
00:23:06 [cast members] Selsdon!
00:23:08 - Am I on?
00:23:11 I thought I heard my voice.
00:23:13 Go back to sleep.
00:23:16 Oh, yeah.
00:23:18 - I see all that.
00:23:20 - I just don't know why I take them.
00:23:23 Why does that other idiot go out the front
00:23:27 I'm not getting at you, love.
00:23:28 Of course not. Why do l?
00:23:32 - Who knows?
00:23:34 The wellsprings of human action
00:23:38 Maybe something happened to you
00:23:42 that made you frightened
00:23:45 Or it could be genetic.
00:23:47 Or it could be, you know...
00:23:49 - Could well be.
00:23:51 - I understand all that.
00:23:54 I don't think the author knows.
00:23:57 I don't know why the author
00:24:00 I don't know why any of us came into it.
00:24:02 If you could just give me a reason
00:24:05 All right, I'll give you a reason.
00:24:08 You carry those groceries into the study
00:24:11 because it's just slightly after midnight,
00:24:14 and we're not going to be finished
00:24:17 Correction. Before we open tonight.
00:24:26 And on we go.
00:24:27 From after Freddie's exit
00:24:31 His wife left him this morning.
00:24:34 Oh.
00:24:37 Freddie?
00:24:42 I think the point is
00:24:46 when she mentions income tax.
00:24:48 You felt very insecure and exposed.
00:24:51 You wanted something familiar
00:24:57 Thank you.
00:25:01 - Bless you, darling.
00:25:03 "Yes, but I could hear voices".
00:25:05 "Yes, but I could hear voices".
00:25:06 Yes, but I could hear voices.
00:25:08 - What sort of voices?
00:25:11 - But there's no one here.
00:25:14 Could be someone checking up.
00:25:15 I still don't see why you've got
00:25:18 Mrs. Clackett?
00:25:20 - She's been in the family for generations.
00:25:24 Come back. I'll fetch them.
00:25:27 - Why not?
00:25:29 - She's irreplaceable.
00:25:34 It's like a Sunday school outing.
00:25:37 You're still poking around?
00:25:39 - Still poking. Well, still around.
00:25:43 No.
00:25:45 Yes, checking the sheets and pillowcases.
00:25:49 - Mrs. Blackett.
00:25:51 Mrs. Clackett,
00:25:54 - I hadn't seen no one, dear.
00:25:57 - There's no voices here, love.
00:26:01 Oh, my God.
00:26:02 I beg your pardon.
00:26:03 - Oh, my God.
00:26:07 Oh, my God. The study door's open.
00:26:12 There's another car outside.
00:26:18 [door slams]
00:26:20 Nothing but flapping doors in this house.
00:26:23 "Final notice... steps will be taken...
00:26:27 That reminds me.
00:26:30 - Don't tell me. I'm not here.
00:26:34 - Leave everything to the agents.
00:26:39 Let them do anything,
00:26:41 I'll just sit down and turn on the...
00:26:47 I don't know. If it wasn't fixed to my
00:26:51 I didn't get this. I'm in Spain.
00:26:55 - I never had a dress like this, did l?
00:26:59 I shouldn't buy anything this tarty.
00:27:03 - I never should have touched it.
00:27:05 Stick it down and put it back.
00:27:08 I'll put it in the attic with the other things
00:27:13 All right. Now the study door's open again.
00:27:17 - [knocking sound]
00:27:23 Oh, my God, there's something
00:27:29 - It's you.
00:27:31 You put me in there in the dark
00:27:34 - Darling, why did you lock the door?
00:27:38 - I didn't lock the door.
00:27:40 - We can't stand here like this.
00:27:42 - In your underwear.
00:27:45 In here.
00:27:46 - Darling...
00:27:47 ...this glue isn't that special quick-drying
00:27:50 [Lloyd] Hold it!
00:27:52 - Mrs. Clackett's made us some sardines.
00:27:55 - We have a problem.
00:27:58 - Left.
00:28:00 Left one!
00:28:02 It could be anywhere. Could've gone over
00:28:06 [Poppy] Where'd you last see it?
00:28:07 - [Belinda] She didn't, it was in her eye.
00:28:11 She opens her eyes, very sort of...
00:28:14 - Careful where you put your feet.
00:28:19 No one move their feet.
00:28:21 [Belinda] Everyone, put your feet back
00:28:24 Pick up your feet one at a time.
00:28:37 Brooke, is this going to happen
00:28:40 We don't want the audience
00:28:43 - She'll just keep going, won't you?
00:28:45 - Can she hear anything without them?
00:28:50 You stepped on his hand.
00:28:52 Look at Freddie, the poor thing.
00:28:55 - What's the matter?
00:28:57 - No one touched him.
00:29:00 - It makes his nose bleed.
00:29:02 - He has a thing about blood.
00:29:05 Go hit the box office manager with this
00:29:07 and you'll have finished off
00:29:10 - Anyway, I found it.
00:29:12 - Where?
00:29:13 - Her eye?
00:29:15 - Not in your left eye.
00:29:18 I knew it hadn't gone far.
00:29:20 - Are you all right?
00:29:22 Clear the stage. Walking wounded,
00:29:25 Are you all right?
00:29:27 I have a thing about...
00:29:29 - We all understand, my love.
00:29:33 Sorry, I'll rephrase that.
00:29:36 Brooke, I withdraw that.
00:29:40 [cast members] Selsdon!
00:29:43 I think she might have dropped
00:29:46 Good, keep looking.
00:29:50 [Lloyd] "Anyway, we can't
00:29:52 "What? In your underwear.
00:29:56 In here.
00:29:57 Darling, this glue, it's not that special
00:30:01 That you can never get unstuck?
00:30:06 - Now what?
00:30:10 I didn't put it there.
00:30:11 Someone's in the bathroom
00:30:14 Is something creepy going on?
00:30:16 Are you coming to bed or aren't you?
00:30:19 - What did you say?
00:30:22 First the door handle,
00:30:24 I can feel goose pimples all over.
00:30:26 - Get something round you.
00:30:29 What did I do with the sardines?
00:30:32 You hear funny things
00:30:35 This one has been
00:30:37 Nothing creepy could survive
00:30:40 What? What is it?
00:30:44 The sardines. They've gone.
00:30:47 Perhaps there is
00:30:50 - I'm going to get into bed...
00:30:54 I suppose Mrs. Sprockett
00:30:57 - The bag.
00:31:01 - What is it?
00:31:04 What do you mean, bag?
00:31:08 What bag?
00:31:09 - No bag!
00:31:12 - I put it in the bedroom.
00:31:17 - The box! They've both gone.
00:31:20 What's happening?
00:31:22 - Wait in the bedroom.
00:31:24 - Get dressed then.
00:31:27 I'll fetch your dress out here.
00:31:32 - Your dress is gone!
00:31:35 Don't panic.
00:31:37 There's a rational explanation
00:31:40 I'll fetch Mrs. Splotchett,
00:31:43 You can't stand here looking like that.
00:31:47 Study, study!
00:31:51 Roger, there's something in there.
00:31:56 Darling, I know this is going
00:31:59 If we're not going to bed,
00:32:02 I can't come to bed.
00:32:04 - Why don't you put the sardines down.
00:32:09 Don't play the fool. Get that bottle
00:32:12 It eats through anything.
00:32:14 I've heard of people being stuck
00:32:20 [Lloyd] Selsdon.
00:32:21 You're on, Selsdon.
00:32:26 [Belinda] It's all right, Lloyd, he's coming.
00:32:28 There should be an arm coming through
00:32:35 - Here it comes.
00:32:37 They ought to be prosecuted
00:32:39 Hold it, let's take it again.
00:32:41 - Makes me want to sit down and weep.
00:32:45 The old turkey
00:32:47 Lloyd wants you to hold it.
00:32:49 Stop, Selsdon, darling!
00:32:51 Like the band playing on
00:32:54 - Stop?
00:32:56 Thank you, Belinda and Poppy.
00:32:58 - My dad was nearly on the Titanic.
00:33:02 - Beg your pardon?
00:33:04 It was before the war,
00:33:07 - Thank you. Poppy!
00:33:10 - Put the glass back.
00:33:12 Right, only a shade earlier
00:33:17 Start moving as soon as Freddie
00:33:21 "I've heard of people getting stuck
00:33:24 Start moving when you hear, "I've heard of
00:33:28 "Stuck with a problem,
00:33:30 I want your arm through the window.
00:33:34 Say no more.
00:33:37 What's that?
00:33:38 Would it be better
00:33:41 Only there does seem to be
00:33:44 between Freddie's exit and my entrance.
00:33:46 No, listen.
00:33:50 How about coming on a little earlier?
00:33:53 We're obviously thinking
00:33:56 Am I putting him on
00:33:59 Right, from your exit.
00:34:02 I've heard of people getting stuck
00:34:05 [door slams]
00:34:06 [glass breaking]
00:34:09 They ought to be prosecuted
00:34:13 It makes me want to sit down and weep
00:34:17 When I remember
00:34:20 What am I doing now?
00:34:23 I know they're all in Spain 'cause
00:34:27 And I know she's out 'cause
00:34:30 in her swimming costume.
00:34:33 Get the van loaded. No rush.
00:34:37 What've they got to offer?
00:34:42 50 quid, hardly worth lifting it.
00:34:47 Junk! Junk! Junk!
00:34:50 Yes, if you insist.
00:34:51 Now, where's his desk?
00:34:55 It's hard to adjust to retirement.
00:34:57 The prospective tenant
00:35:00 if there's any previous history
00:35:03 [door slams]
00:35:04 Yes, dear, everything's all nice
00:35:07 Has anything ever dematerialized before?
00:35:12 No, the things move
00:35:14 See, just like they do in any house.
00:35:17 I'll tell the prospective tenant.
00:35:23 There's a man in there.
00:35:25 - There's no one in the house.
00:35:27 - He's searching for something.
00:35:30 You can't see him? This is extraordinary.
00:35:34 [Garry] I left her in there.
00:35:37 - My God!
00:35:39 - There.
00:35:40 - The sardines.
00:35:43 I can see them.
00:35:45 I'm not letting them out of my hand.
00:35:49 I'm going to be opening
00:35:52 Been in and out of there
00:35:55 [Selsdon]
00:35:57 "It's time to hand over
00:36:01 She can't have gone back
00:36:04 "l may be 70", I said,
00:36:09 [Selsdon] He didn't have an answer to that.
00:36:13 - Or if he did, I didn't hear it.
00:36:17 That stuff that eats through anything
00:36:20 It just eats through trousers.
00:36:24 Listen, darling,
00:36:27 Darling, quick, this is an emergency.
00:36:32 I feel it. It's eating through
00:36:35 - There's something evil in this house.
00:36:38 - He's back.
00:36:40 - Oh, my God.
00:36:41 - He's walking abroad.
00:36:43 - Stay!
00:36:44 - Speak!
00:36:48 Hold on, you're just an intruder.
00:36:52 Nice to meet you.
00:36:54 No, you're not.
00:36:57 You've done something to Vicki.
00:37:01 I see, you've got some sardines.
00:37:03 - If there's nothing I can offer you...
00:37:05 I'll be running along.
00:37:08 Hello, police?
00:37:10 Someone has broken into
00:37:12 A sex criminal!
00:37:15 It's in the garden now!
00:37:18 The young woman has reappeared.
00:37:20 - No, he almost saw me.
00:37:23 No, but he's a burglar as well.
00:37:27 - The things are here.
00:37:29 We're just missing a plate of sardines.
00:37:31 - Here are the sardines.
00:37:33 This is the police. You want
00:37:36 So, what am I saying?
00:37:40 I thought something terrible
00:37:43 - It has. I know him.
00:37:46 - He's dealt with by our office.
00:37:49 But he mustn't see me like this.
00:37:51 You have to keep up standards
00:37:54 - Put something on!
00:37:56 There must be something in the bathroom.
00:38:00 "What"? I said.
00:38:01 "When have I ever needed to run off
00:38:05 "Except when some stupid berk goes
00:38:09 Stay in there and don't come out
00:38:12 I can't go around in front
00:38:15 I knew I shouldn't have brought
00:38:19 Help! Where are you?
00:38:23 Just put it on.
00:38:25 I'll find a bottom. I'll find a top.
00:38:32 There's someone in there.
00:38:37 - Darling, I'm finding such lovely things.
00:38:40 Do you remember this old biscuit tin
00:38:44 - Who are you?
00:38:47 I've taken your dress off you.
00:38:49 Where have you been?
00:38:52 Look at the state I'm in.
00:38:54 [crash]
00:38:55 I was just trying to explain to her
00:39:00 - and my fingers got stuck.
00:39:04 I'm trying to find something.
00:39:07 A pair of gold taps, anyway.
00:39:10 - Who are you?
00:39:11 Tax? Income tax?
00:39:12 That's right. In come the new taps,
00:39:16 - Tax inspectors everywhere!
00:39:20 Tin boxes flying about.
00:39:25 Are you dressed yet?
00:39:27 I've got the dress
00:39:29 - A man!
00:39:32 Attacks? Not attacks on women.
00:39:33 I'll try anything once,
00:39:36 Sex criminals everywhere.
00:39:38 Where is Vicki?
00:39:44 People everywhere. Tax on women?
00:39:47 I don't know. They put a tax
00:39:50 If I can't find her,
00:39:53 - W.C.? I'll fix it.
00:40:05 Sheik! I thought you were coming at 4:00.
00:40:10 You want to see over the house now,
00:40:14 Since you're upstairs already.
00:40:16 Him and his floozy.
00:40:19 - Let's start downstairs.
00:40:22 I'm sorry about this.
00:40:24 No connection with the house.
00:40:28 No other hands in my sardines.
00:40:32 ...is fully occupied, so perhaps the toilet
00:40:36 Who are these people?
00:40:38 We get 'em all the time, love.
00:40:40 This is the downstairs bathroom
00:40:44 - Arab sheiks!
00:40:46 Governor, your ballcocks have gone.
00:40:48 - We have him.
00:40:50 - Irish linen sheets off my own bed.
00:40:54 - In the study, however...
00:40:57 There she stands in her smalls,
00:41:01 - You!
00:41:02 - It's my little girl.
00:41:04 It's my little Vicki that ran away.
00:41:08 Would you believe it?
00:41:09 - What are you doing here like this?
00:41:13 Me? I'm taking our files on tax evasion
00:41:17 So, where's my other sheet?
00:41:21 A house of heavenly peace. I rent it.
00:41:26 - You?
00:41:27 I'm sorry, I still have my trousers
00:41:30 It's hard to do a quick change
00:41:32 [Lloyd] Get Tim to help you.
00:41:37 Come on, Tim.
00:41:39 - What?
00:41:42 - I must've dozed off down there.
00:41:45 - Do something?
00:41:47 We'll struggle through on our own.
00:41:50 while all the rest of us run around
00:41:54 Freddie, from your entrance,
00:41:59 "So, where's my other sheet"?
00:42:01 - Some other problem?
00:42:05 - Why did I ask?
00:42:08 - I know.
00:42:10 All of my studies in world drama
00:42:14 I don't understand why the Sheik just
00:42:18 'Cause he comes in and we all think,
00:42:22 - I see that.
00:42:25 But it is kind of a coincidence, isn't it?
00:42:29 It is kind of a coincidence.
00:42:31 Yes. Until you reflect that
00:42:36 Now unfortunately lost to us.
00:42:40 that Philip's father as a young man
00:42:45 - I see!
00:42:47 - Interesting.
00:42:49 - Will the audience get it?
00:42:52 With looks, gestures.
00:42:55 Yes, thank you.
00:42:58 Can we just finish the act?
00:43:00 God, I'm being so clever out here.
00:43:03 What'll be left when I'm in New York
00:43:06 - [Lloyd] "So, where's my other sheet"?
00:43:09 [knocking]
00:43:12 A house of heavenly peace. I rent it.
00:43:17 - You?
00:43:18 Certainly is me. Who else?
00:43:20 You walk in asking to view a house when
00:43:25 - You take all the clean sheets.
00:43:29 You toss me aside like a broken china doll.
00:43:32 What you're up to down in Basingstoke
00:43:36 I'll tell you one thing, Vicki...
00:43:38 [Lloyd] Brooke!
00:43:39 - Sorry.
00:43:42 We're two lines away
00:43:44 I don't understand.
00:43:45 - Give her the line.
00:43:47 - But I don't understand.
00:43:50 I say to you, "l tell you something",
00:43:54 I don't understand
00:43:59 Poppy, bring the book.
00:44:02 Is that the line? "l don't understand
00:44:07 Can we consult the author's text?
00:44:10 - I think it's...
00:44:14 We know you've worked in London
00:44:17 where they let you make the play up
00:44:21 Not when the author has provided us
00:44:25 Not at 1:00 in the morning.
00:44:29 Not when we're about to get a coffee break
00:44:33 We merely want to hear the line,
00:44:36 That's all. Nothing else.
00:44:40 I'm not being unreasonable, am l?
00:44:44 Exit? Does it say "exit"?
00:44:49 Oh, my God,
00:44:54 - Oh, dear.
00:44:56 I thought it was going to be Poppy
00:44:58 - It usually is.
00:45:01 - Why pick on, you know?
00:45:04 - Sweet?
00:45:07 - You mean?
00:45:09 Didn't you know? Where do you think
00:45:13 That's why he didn't realize they put
00:45:16 Here they come.
00:45:17 Okay, all forgotten.
00:45:21 - I think I'm going to throw up.
00:45:24 - No!
00:45:27 You pig!
00:45:29 - You mean?
00:45:31 - That's something I didn't know.
00:45:34 - Sit down, dear.
00:45:36 - That's something she didn't know.
00:45:40 - What's next?
00:45:42 Here he comes.
00:45:44 - Is she all right?
00:45:47 - Something she ate probably.
00:45:49 - I'm feeling a bit, you know, myself.
00:45:53 - Or throw up?
00:45:55 You're certainly overdoing it
00:45:57 Can we just have the last line...
00:46:00 of the act!
00:46:02 Me? Last line? Right.
00:46:04 I'll tell you one thing.
00:46:06 What's that, Dad?
00:46:08 When all around is strife and uncertainty,
00:46:11 there's nothing like a good
00:46:15 And, curtain!
00:46:33 [Lloyd] All right, let's reset for night, Act ll.
00:46:43 [Lloyd] No, in fact, they loved it
00:46:46 The end of Act II, they loved.
00:46:48 [Selsdon] What's this?
00:46:52 There's only one thing I'm missing
00:46:54 and that's a good old-fashioned
00:47:00 [Lloyd] They clapped and clapped...
00:47:03 Well, they clapped.
00:47:09 But then there was Decatur, Illinois.
00:47:14 And Paducah, Kentucky.
00:47:17 Okay, I wasn't there when they had
00:47:21 I missed out on the problems in Paducah.
00:47:23 But I couldn't hold their hands all the time.
00:47:25 How could I be in Decatur and Paducah
00:47:28 when I was in New York sorting out
00:47:31 I caught up with the show
00:47:33 I was right in there with them
00:47:43 Sir, your ticket?
00:47:45 I am the director.
00:48:06 Act l, places please.
00:48:08 Your calls Miss Otley, Miss Ashton,
00:48:12 Act l, places please.
00:48:14 Then maybe Act I places is what we'll get.
00:48:17 - What do you think?
00:48:20 She knows she's got to be
00:48:23 - Won't she?
00:48:24 - You know what Dotty's like.
00:48:27 We're only in Miami Beach.
00:48:30 - If only she'd speak.
00:48:33 - Look, if Dotty won't go on...
00:48:39 I'm sure she will, but if she doesn't...
00:48:41 - She must!
00:48:42 - But if she didn't...
00:48:46 - Four minutes.
00:48:49 I'll try again. Helps take your mind
00:48:58 - Has she gone?
00:49:02 - I didn't know you were coming here.
00:49:06 - Thank God you're here.
00:49:08 I don't want anyone to know I'm here.
00:49:10 - Dotty and Garry...
00:49:11 - They've had some kind of fight.
00:49:16 I want you to buy me some very large
00:49:20 Right, now Dotty's locked herself
00:49:23 - Don't let Poppy see.
00:49:27 The matinee finishes before 5:00.
00:49:30 I want two hours alone with Brooke
00:49:34 I'm on the 7:25 back to New York.
00:49:36 That's what I'm trying to tell you.
00:49:39 - She's walked out?
00:49:42 - She won't speak to anyone.
00:49:45 I can't do it in five minutes,
00:49:48 - She's broken up with Garry before.
00:49:51 Not Brooke, Dotty!
00:49:53 There was the famous breakup
00:49:56 - You told me.
00:49:58 Garry threatened to kill him.
00:50:00 Listen, don't worry about Dotty.
00:50:03 Last night it happened again.
00:50:06 by banging on my door. It's Garry.
00:50:09 Let me tell you about my life
00:50:12 I have Hamlet's ghost on the phone
00:50:15 complaining that Polonius is sucking
00:50:18 Claudius is off every afternoon
00:50:20 Gertrude is off the entire week
00:50:23 Hamlet himself, would you believe, has
00:50:28 Last night Brooke rings me to say
00:50:31 She has a doctor's note
00:50:34 I haven't got the time to find
00:50:36 I have one afternoon
00:50:39 and Ophelia starts divorce proceedings,
00:50:43 with no medical aids except whiskey;
00:50:46 flowers; you've got money for the flowers,
00:50:50 I haven't come here to hear about
00:50:53 I've come to be taken out of myself.
00:50:57 - Have you done the front-of-house calls?
00:51:01 Don't let Poppy see those flowers.
00:51:10 [Tim] Ladies and gentleman,
00:51:12 The curtain will rise in three minutes.
00:51:17 We're going to be so late going up.
00:51:18 - No luck?
00:51:21 I haven't even started
00:51:23 Money? Is that for me?
00:51:25 - No.
00:51:27 - Is it?
00:51:29 Not up here.
00:51:32 I'll put it downstairs
00:51:37 You know what Dotty's like.
00:51:40 - He's hiding 'em up here now.
00:51:44 He's hiding them up here now.
00:51:46 Garry came rushing out, all fired up.
00:51:49 I couldn't understand what he said,
00:51:51 but I often feel with Garry
00:51:53 You know how stupid I can be,
00:51:56 - You poor thing.
00:52:00 - He's all right?
00:52:03 - He's going on?
00:52:06 What's this about Garry?
00:52:08 If you have to go on for Garry,
00:52:10 If she does, you'll have
00:52:13 - Money? Is that for us?
00:52:15 Oh, my God.
00:52:18 She's such a funny woman.
00:52:20 She's so up and down.
00:52:24 Last night?
00:52:25 She took me out for a drink
00:52:28 She was with you?
00:52:31 She was very sympathetic
00:52:33 - I won't let her sink her teeth into you.
00:52:37 She came back to my room for coffee.
00:52:39 Told me about her troubles.
00:52:42 I don't know what the guy
00:52:45 - Another thing.
00:52:47 - Where's Selsdon?
00:52:51 He's not in his dressing room.
00:52:54 You do them. I'll get Selsdon.
00:52:56 - What should I do?
00:52:58 You've done quite enough already.
00:53:01 [Poppy] Ladies and gentleman,
00:53:03 The curtain will rise in three minutes.
00:53:14 - He wants to kill someone?
00:53:19 - We've lost him!
00:53:21 Flowers.
00:53:27 Isn't that sweet of him?
00:53:29 - Very charming.
00:53:32 I'll take those.
00:53:35 Poppy's already done them.
00:53:37 She gave 'em two minutes?
00:53:40 [Tim] Ladies and gentleman,
00:53:43 The curtain will rise in one minute.
00:53:48 - I think she said three minutes.
00:53:52 - I think so.
00:53:56 [Tim] Ladies and gentleman,
00:53:59 The curtain will rise in two minutes.
00:54:05 - Any luck?
00:54:07 It was hidden
00:54:10 - Not a good sign.
00:54:11 Put it somewhere out of sight.
00:54:15 He's... not in the bar.
00:54:18 Have you checked the green room?
00:54:21 Now what?
00:54:22 Ladies and gentleman, please take your
00:54:26 - Tim already said two minutes.
00:54:29 Ladies and gentleman, please take your
00:54:33 - What the fuck is going on?
00:54:36 - I didn't know you were here.
00:54:40 I can't sit there and listen
00:54:44 - We're having big dramas back here.
00:54:47 This is a matinee.
00:54:50 The curtain will rise in three minutes,
00:54:53 In one minute, we all start running
00:54:58 - I've got to talk to you.
00:55:00 - I tried calling you.
00:55:03 - You're going on, aren't you?
00:55:06 - Are you all right?
00:55:12 - What's this?
00:55:13 I was lying on the floor of the green room.
00:55:16 For her relaxation.
00:55:18 - I saw it hidden behind the radiator.
00:55:22 - I'll put it where he won't find it.
00:55:25 What's this?
00:55:26 - Sorry.
00:55:30 - There's something I must tell you.
00:55:34 - [Belinda] What about Dotty?
00:55:35 - [Freddie] And Garry?
00:55:36 [Belinda] What about Selsdon?
00:55:38 This show is beyond
00:55:40 I'll sit out there in the dark
00:55:44 One minute was the last call,
00:55:51 - Is she all right?
00:55:54 - [Belinda] You're all right?
00:55:57 - Everyone was shouting, running around.
00:56:00 You don't have to go on
00:56:03 It's only a matinee. I'm sure Poppy
00:56:06 I'll see what's happening with Dotty.
00:56:09 Freddie, my darling, dear.
00:56:11 - Did I say something wrong?
00:56:13 Where have you been?
00:56:17 Everywhere. In front, the manager's office,
00:56:21 He's been looking for you back there.
00:56:22 Great shindig going on back there.
00:56:27 - I think he's heard.
00:56:31 "l know when you have your eye
00:56:33 "I've seen the way you look at Freddie".
00:56:36 - Me?
00:56:38 - You sure he said Freddie?
00:56:41 One of the two.
00:56:43 - I think they're coming.
00:56:45 - I knew they wouldn't.
00:56:49 - Yes, every word.
00:56:52 Ladies and gentleman,
00:56:56 The performance is about to begin.
00:56:58 - They're coming.
00:57:00 - How did you get here?
00:57:02 [Selsdon] In one word, amiss, that's how.
00:57:07 [Tim] Ladies and gentleman,
00:57:10 - I've done it!
00:57:13 Poor Lloyd, he'll choke
00:57:15 Try to give some poor fellow a leg up.
00:57:21 [Selsdon] There he is.
00:57:22 Are you all right?
00:57:24 - What's he say?
00:57:27 Very sensible. Only stir it up again.
00:57:29 [Selsdon] "l know when you put
00:57:32 "and you've got them into
00:57:34 - [Freddie] Are you all right?
00:57:37 She's fine.
00:57:39 [Tim] All right, everyone?
00:57:40 - Teddie or Freddie, one of the two.
00:57:43 Places, please.
00:57:46 [Freddie] Look, Garry, Dotty...
00:57:48 I'm not going to make a big speech,
00:57:54 We can't do it in silence, you guys!
00:57:59 What's the house like?
00:58:01 - That's the spirit!
00:58:03 It's quite good, for a matinee.
00:58:05 There's quite a crowd
00:58:09 Come on, girl, get the taps out.
00:58:13 Quiet then, please.
00:58:16 Preset please. Quiet on stage.
00:58:19 - Stand by. Curtain up. Act l.
00:58:22 - Now, what?
00:58:25 We've been sitting out there for an hour.
00:58:28 It's my fault, I was saying a few words.
00:58:31 Ever thought of having
00:58:33 Sorry, wrong moment.
00:58:35 Anybody else have any thoughts
00:58:37 Not right now. I mean, later.
00:58:40 You bought these flowers for Poppy?
00:58:42 - No, well, yes.
00:58:44 Have you ever heard
00:58:49 Then take $10 of your own money,
00:58:50 go to the flower stand and
00:58:53 Gave Poppy the flowers.
00:58:57 You could have half each.
00:59:00 Oh, dear.
00:59:01 - Don't cry.
00:59:05 Act l. In music. Summer noises.
00:59:10 House lights go.
00:59:16 [Dotty] Coming!
00:59:18 - [phone rings]
00:59:21 I'm coming!
00:59:25 Shut up, I'm coming.
00:59:28 Hold on.
00:59:30 - [applause]
00:59:32 [Dotty] I can't open sardines and answer
00:59:38 Hello? Yes, but there's
00:59:42 No, Mr. Brent's not here.
00:59:44 He lives here, yes, but he don't live
00:59:48 Mr. Philip Brent,
00:59:51 That's him,
00:59:54 No, she's in Spain, too.
00:59:57 They're all in Spain.
01:00:00 Am I in Spain? I'm not in Spain, dear.
01:00:03 I look after the house for them,
01:00:07 So, that's where I am.
01:00:09 No, because I've got a nice plate
01:00:13 They've got color and it's the Royal.
01:00:17 If it's to do with letting the house,
01:00:21 'cause they're the agents for the house.
01:00:23 Squire, Squire, Hackham
01:00:29 [Freddie screams]
01:00:38 [audience laughs]
01:00:39 My housekeeper, yes,
01:00:42 [Garry] So, we've got the place
01:00:46 [Brooke] Wow!
01:00:47 [Garry] I'll just check.
01:00:54 No, there's no one here.
01:00:56 - [Brooke] All these doors.
01:00:59 Study, kitchen, and a self-contained
01:01:03 [Brooke] Terrific! Which one's the...
01:01:05 - [Garry] Through here.
01:01:09 No, I've lost...
01:01:15 [Garry, Brooke and Dotty scream]
01:01:17 [Garry] I'm sorry, I thought
01:01:19 [Dotty] I'm not here.
01:01:22 The horse race, where they wear
01:01:25 [Garry] I'm from the agents. I dropped in
01:01:29 Do one or two odd jobs.
01:01:31 I'm showing a prospective tenant
01:01:34 [Brooke] What's with this door?
01:01:36 [Garry] She's thinking of renting it.
01:01:40 The bedroom?
01:01:42 - This is the housekeeper, Mrs. Crockett.
01:01:45 Only now I've lost the newspaper.
01:01:47 - [Garry] I'm sorry.
01:01:50 [Garry] She's been in the family
01:01:52 [Brooke] I've got to be
01:01:55 - [Garry] Let's just have champagne.
01:01:58 [Brooke] What?
01:01:59 [Garry] She's been
01:02:01 Sardines!
01:02:05 [Dotty] It's not for me to say, of course.
01:02:10 Take the plunge. You'll really enjoy it here.
01:02:12 - [Brooke] Great.
01:02:14 - [Dotty] We'll enjoy having you.
01:02:16 - [Brooke] Terrific.
01:02:18 Can't put your feet up
01:02:21 [Brooke] She thinks it's great.
01:02:24 I think she's terrific. Which way?
01:02:26 [Garry] Before she comes back
01:02:29 [Brooke] In here?
01:02:30 It's another bathroom.
01:02:32 You're always trying
01:02:35 [Garry] I mean, in here.
01:02:37 [Brooke] A black sheet.
01:02:40 [Garry] That's the linen closet.
01:02:41 This one!
01:02:43 - [Brooke] You're in a real state.
01:02:46 [Brooke] You can't even get the door open.
01:02:48 [Freddie] Yes, but this is
01:02:51 We've got the place
01:02:54 - Look at it!
01:02:57 [Belinda] I can't believe it.
01:02:58 - [Freddie] Perfect for an assignation.
01:03:02 [Freddie] The last place
01:03:04 [Belinda] I wonder if the beds are aired.
01:03:06 - [Freddie] Darling!
01:03:07 [Belinda] Why not? No children, no friends
01:03:13 [Freddie] True. There is something
01:03:14 [Belinda] Leave those.
01:03:16 - [laughter]
01:03:18 - [Belinda] What?
01:03:21 [Dotty] What I did with that first lot
01:03:25 [Freddie and Belinda] Mrs. Clackett!
01:03:27 [Dotty] You gave me a turn.
01:03:30 - [Dotty] I thought you was in Spain.
01:03:32 - [Belinda] You haven't seen us.
01:03:34 [Dotty] Then, you're not here.
01:03:36 If anybody asks for you,
01:03:40 Nowhere like bed when
01:03:44 You'll want your things.
01:03:45 - That bed hasn't been aired.
01:03:49 I put all your letters in the study.
01:03:51 - [Freddie] Where are they?
01:03:54 In your desk, love.
01:03:55 - [Garry] Yes, but I could hear voices.
01:03:58 [Garry] People's voices.
01:04:00 - [Brooke] She's opened our sardines.
01:04:02 I'll fetch them.
01:04:05 - [Brooke] Why not?
01:04:08 - [Dotty] Sardines, here. Sardines, there.
01:04:10 It's like a Sunday school outing.
01:04:12 You're still poking around, are you?
01:04:14 - [Garry] Still poking, still around.
01:04:18 [Garry] Checking the sheets and
01:04:21 - [Garry] Mrs. Blackett.
01:04:24 - [Garry] Is there anyone else in the house?
01:04:28 - [Garry] I thought I heard voices.
01:04:31 - [Garry] I must've imagined it.
01:04:34 - [Garry] I beg your pardon?
01:04:37 - [Garry] Why, what is it?
01:04:42 [Garry] There's another car outside.
01:04:46 Or Mr. Dudley's?
01:04:48 [Belinda] Nothing but
01:04:55 [Freddie] "The final notice... steps will be
01:05:00 [Dotty] That reminds me,
01:05:03 [Freddie] Don't tell me. I'm not here.
01:05:05 [Dotty] I'll just sit down and turn on...
01:05:08 I've forgotten the sardines.
01:05:11 If it wasn't fixed to my shoulders,
01:05:15 - Give it to me!
01:05:19 I'm in Spain. But if I didn't get it,
01:05:21 I never should've touched it.
01:05:23 [Belinda] Darling, I never had a dress...
01:05:30 Or rather a bunch of flowers
01:05:32 Didn't you?
01:05:34 [Belinda] I shouldn't buy anything
01:05:37 They aren't something
01:05:39 - [Freddie] I never should've touched it.
01:05:41 Stick it down. Why, put it back.
01:05:45 [Belinda] I'll just go and
01:05:47 Pack them away with the other things
01:05:53 [scuffling and banging]
01:06:06 [Garry] All right, now the study door's
01:06:10 What's going on?
01:06:17 Knocking.
01:06:20 Knocking!
01:06:23 [knocking]
01:06:25 Upstairs!
01:06:29 [knocking]
01:06:31 [Garry] Oh, my God.
01:06:35 It's you! Is it you?
01:06:39 I mean, you know, hidden under
01:06:44 I can't, you know,
01:06:47 Of course it's me.
01:06:49 You put me here in the dark
01:06:53 [Garry] But, darling,
01:06:56 Why did I lock the door?
01:06:59 [Garry] I didn't lock the door.
01:07:03 - Like what?
01:07:05 Okay, I'll take it off.
01:07:08 You, on!
01:07:09 In here.
01:07:10 [Freddie] Darling, this glue, it's not that
01:07:14 That you could never get unstuck.
01:07:21 [Garry] A hot water bottle?
01:07:23 I didn't put this hot water bottle,
01:07:25 I mean, I'm standing here,
01:07:29 Of course, it's me. You put me here in
01:07:38 [Garry] Someone in the bathroom
01:07:40 What? Don't panic!
01:07:45 - Why did you lock the door?
01:07:50 [Garry] There's some perfectly
01:07:53 I'll fetch Mrs. Splochett
01:07:56 You wait in here.
01:07:59 Wait in the study!
01:08:03 [Brooke] There's something in there.
01:08:06 [screams]
01:08:08 [Freddie] Darling, I know
01:08:11 [Belinda] If we aren't going to bed,
01:08:14 [Freddie] Darling, I can't come to bed.
01:08:17 [Belinda] Put the sardines down.
01:08:19 [Freddie] Darling, I'm stuck to the sardines.
01:08:22 [Belinda] Don't play the fool. Get that bottle
01:08:25 It eats through anything.
01:08:27 [Freddie] I've heard of people
01:08:30 but this is ridiculous.
01:08:35 I've heard of people getting stuck
01:08:43 No bars, no burglar alarm.
01:08:47 They ought to be prosecuted
01:08:51 [laughter]
01:08:53 [Selsdon] Sometimes it makes me want to
01:08:58 When I remember
01:09:02 What am I doing now?
01:09:09 I know they're all in Spain 'cause
01:09:13 I know she's out 'cause I just
01:09:18 in her swimming costume.
01:09:23 A line, a prompt.
01:09:26 "Get the van loaded".
01:09:27 - What?
01:09:30 Get the van loaded.
01:09:33 [Selsdon] There's no rush.
01:09:35 What have they got here.
01:09:40 Hardly worth lifting it.
01:09:48 They all say the same thing.
01:09:51 [Garry] The prospective tenant
01:09:53 if there is any history
01:09:56 [Dotty] Yes, dear,
01:09:58 [Garry] Has anything ever
01:10:06 I'll tell the prospective tenant.
01:10:09 - There's a man in there.
01:10:13 - Look, he's searching for something.
01:10:17 [Garry] This is extraordinary.
01:10:20 I left her in there. She's disappeared.
01:10:23 - [Garry] Oh, my God.
01:10:27 - [Dotty] The sardines.
01:10:32 [Dotty] I can see the way they're going, too.
01:10:34 [Garry] I'm not letting these sardines
01:10:37 But, where is my prospective tenant?
01:10:39 [Dotty] I'm going to be opening
01:10:41 Been in and out of here
01:10:46 [Selsdon] "Charles", he said,
01:10:48 "It's time to hang up the sawed-off shotgun
01:10:50 "and hand over the ammonia bottle
01:10:53 [Garry] She can't have gone back
01:10:56 [Selsdon] "l may be 70", I said,
01:11:04 He didn't have an answer to that.
01:11:10 [Garry] She's not in the bedroom.
01:11:14 [Selsdon] Or if he did, I didn't hear him.
01:11:17 [Freddie] That stuff that eats through
01:11:20 It just eats through trousers.
01:11:22 If it does,
01:11:26 Listen, darling,
01:11:29 Darling, quick, this is an emergency.
01:11:31 Have we got any stuff
01:11:34 If it eats through absolutely anything...
01:11:37 I think I can feel it.
01:11:42 [Garry] There's something
01:11:48 - [Freddie] Inland Revenue.
01:11:52 [Freddie] No, I'm not here.
01:11:55 I must go.
01:11:56 - [Garry] Stay!
01:11:58 - [Garry] Speak!
01:12:01 [Garry] Hold on, you're just an intruder.
01:12:05 [Freddie] Nice to meet you.
01:12:09 [Garry] No, you're not.
01:12:11 I'm going to come downstairs
01:12:14 [crash]
01:12:16 [laughter]
01:12:20 [Freddie] I see, you've got some sardines.
01:12:22 If there's nothing I can offer you...
01:12:30 - [Garry] Police!
01:12:34 Come back.
01:12:36 [Garry] Hello, police?
01:12:40 Or rather, someone has broken
01:12:43 Yes, a sex criminal.
01:12:49 And a young woman is missing!
01:12:53 And a young woman is missing!
01:12:57 [Brooke] It's in the garden now!
01:13:00 [laughter]
01:13:02 - [Garry] Are you all right?
01:13:06 [Garry] He almost saw her!
01:13:10 He's taken our things.
01:13:12 - [Brooke] The things are here.
01:13:19 [Selsdon] I knew I shouldn't have
01:13:22 [Freddie] Help! Where are you?
01:13:25 [Garry] Just put it on.
01:13:28 I'll find a bottom. I'll find a top.
01:13:37 [Brooke] There's someone in there.
01:13:41 [Belinda] Darling,
01:13:43 Do you remember this old biscuit tin
01:13:46 On the very first anniversary of our...
01:13:49 [Brooke] Oh, my God,
01:13:52 [Freddie] I've taken your dress off you.
01:13:56 Where have you been?
01:14:05 [Selsdon] A pair of gold taps, anyway.
01:14:07 - [Freddie] Who are you?
01:14:23 I don't know. They put a tax
01:14:25 [Garry] If I can't find her,
01:14:28 [Selsdon] W.C.? I'll fix it.
01:14:45 No sheik yet?
01:14:49 [Garry] I mean, you know,
01:14:52 It's after 3:00 because I've been
01:14:58 - Listen.
01:14:59 I've got to talk to you now.
01:15:03 It's never a good time.
01:15:07 What? Christ, Freddie's quick change.
01:15:10 Those thieving devils.
01:15:13 There she stands in her sheet
01:15:16 so no one in the world can see you.
01:15:18 My little girl, so far as I could see
01:15:22 [Selsdon] It's you, I mean, I think.
01:15:24 [Belinda] It's her, isn't it?
01:15:26 Dad!
01:15:27 [Selsdon] Surely that was our little Vicki
01:15:33 Here she is again.
01:15:36 [Belinda] So where's my...
01:15:39 So where's my other sheet?!
01:15:42 A house of heavenly peace. I rent it.
01:15:47 You?
01:15:48 I tried calling. You're in rehearsals
01:15:52 or in the morning.
01:15:54 No, I'm not going to be put off.
01:15:57 As soon as that curtain's down,
01:16:00 She's being difficult.
01:16:04 Then you'll be on the next plane
01:16:06 I'm starting to know the way you operate.
01:16:10 You can't walk away from it this time.
01:16:21 And, curtain.
01:16:34 [screaming]
01:16:44 [Lloyd] If you thought Miami Beach
01:16:47 you're very much mistaken, my friend.
01:16:49 Things got a lot worse backstage
01:16:54 Then after Spartanburg,
01:16:58 After Lynchburg,
01:17:02 Then after Parkersburg and Petersburg,
01:17:04 there was Peter Piper picked
01:17:10 But nothing could've prepared us
01:17:17 Cleveland.
01:17:30 [telephone rings]
01:17:43 [scuffling and fighting]
01:17:46 [screaming and bickering]
01:17:49 [phone continues ringing]
01:17:54 [Garry] Quiet!
01:17:57 [Dotty] Hold on, I'm coming!
01:18:04 Hold on. I can't pick sardines
01:18:09 I've only got one leg.
01:18:12 Hello?
01:18:14 Hello? Yes, but there's no one here.
01:18:18 No, Mr. Brent's not here. He lives in Spain.
01:18:22 Mr. Philip Brent,
01:18:25 Only why he wants to get mixed up
01:18:28 He'd be safer off in a snake pit.
01:18:30 No, she's in Spain, too.
01:18:36 Am I in Spain? No, I'm not in Spain.
01:18:39 I'm in agony, that's where I am.
01:18:42 We haven't been on the road
01:18:45 and already she's trying to kill me.
01:18:47 I'm back there standing with sardines
01:18:50 she's kicking me in the...
01:18:55 If it's to do with letting the house...
01:19:00 - I can't find him.
01:19:04 They're next to the study... the phone.
01:19:08 Squire, Squire, Hackham
01:19:11 I'm going to do something wrong here.
01:19:15 Always the same, isn't it?
01:19:18 As soon as you got too much on your plate,
01:19:23 Speak of the devil.
01:19:25 They go putting their foot in it now,
01:19:28 I'll take care of that,
01:19:32 Look, see? That'll keep them
01:19:36 What I'm holding now, I don't know.
01:19:50 My housekeeper, yes.
01:19:53 So, we've got the place
01:19:58 I'll just check.
01:20:02 Hello? Anyone at home?
01:20:07 So, what do you think?
01:20:10 Great! And this is all yours?
01:20:14 Just a little shack in the woods, really.
01:20:17 Converted posset mill. 16th century.
01:20:20 [phone crashes]
01:20:22 One has to have somewhere to entertain
01:20:28 There's someone on the phone now,
01:20:31 It's probably this Arab,
01:20:36 I'll just have a word with him.
01:20:38 Right, and I've got to get those files
01:20:42 Yes, we'll only just manage to pick it in,
01:20:46 Right then.
01:20:47 I won't bother to pull the champagne.
01:20:50 - [Brooke] All these doors!
01:20:52 Study, kitchen and a self-contained
01:20:56 receiver.
01:20:57 Terrific.
01:20:59 - And which one's the...
01:21:01 - You know.
01:21:04 [Garry] It's through here.
01:21:06 [Brooke] Fantastic!
01:21:14 Just come for me sardines.
01:21:16 - I thought there was no one here.
01:21:20 I'm from the agents.
01:21:21 - Lost the phone?
01:21:23 - I've never lost the phone before.
01:21:25 I'll just put it up here
01:21:28 - Look.
01:21:30 I just dropped in
01:21:32 To check some of the measurements.
01:21:35 Now the plate's gone.
01:21:36 I'm showing a prospective tenant
01:21:38 [Brooke] What's with this door?
01:21:40 She's thinking of renting it.
01:21:42 - That's not the bedroom.
01:21:47 And W.C. suite.
01:21:50 Sardines here!
01:21:53 - She's not really here.
01:21:55 It's the Royal, you know.
01:21:57 You shouldn't have stood on them.
01:21:58 - Don't worry about us.
01:22:02 - We'll just inspect the house.
01:22:06 - I'm sorry.
01:22:08 We don't want the television, do we?
01:22:10 Right, she didn't explain about
01:22:15 because obviously there's been
01:22:18 I'm just, in case... somebody's
01:22:22 Great! Come on, then.
01:22:25 I thought we ought to get that straight.
01:22:26 - Take it up with us.
01:22:28 - Don't let my files out of sight.
01:22:31 - What?
01:22:32 Okay, her! She's been
01:22:37 Sardines. I'll just give the floor a wash
01:22:42 Look what I've got hold of now.
01:22:44 - Great!
01:22:47 I'll just put this up here.
01:22:49 Then if he wants it,
01:22:53 You'll have to do the sardines,
01:22:54 'cause I have to go to the kitchen
01:22:58 See, she thinks it's great.
01:23:01 - So, what do you think?
01:23:04 - I mean, do you want to do the...
01:23:06 I don't know, just kind of wrap them up...
01:23:09 - Up here?
01:23:12 - In here.
01:23:13 - It's another bathroom.
01:23:16 Always trying to get me in the bathroom.
01:23:19 Bag! Box!
01:23:20 A black sheet.
01:23:22 Box! Box! Bag! Bag!
01:23:24 You're in a real state.
01:23:26 If we haven't got the upstairs...
01:23:28 You can't even get the door open.
01:23:31 This is Mrs. Clackett's afternoon off.
01:23:44 We've got the place entirely to ourselves.
01:23:46 - Look at it!
01:23:48 I can't believe it.
01:23:49 - A perfect place for an assignation.
01:23:51 But how odd to find a telephone
01:23:54 - I'll put it back.
01:23:56 - Sensible.
01:23:59 - Why don't you put it on the table?
01:24:02 Look, it's caught round
01:24:04 So it is.
01:24:09 - I think I've disentangled it.
01:24:14 Anyway... Our little secret hideaway.
01:24:17 - The last place on earth anyone will...
01:24:20 But it's rather funny creeping in like this.
01:24:22 What?
01:24:24 - You're thinking, "It's damn serious".
01:24:28 You're thinking about Inland Revenue.
01:24:31 Absolutely, Inland Revenue.
01:24:33 To cut a long story short,
01:24:36 Yes, but we must have our little talk
01:24:39 You're thinking, "lf Inland
01:24:43 "bang goes our claim to be residents
01:24:46 Leave those downstairs!
01:24:49 - Not upstairs.
01:24:52 One moment they're kicking you to death,
01:24:53 the next moment they expect you
01:24:58 - Newspaper!
01:25:00 My heart jumped right out of the sofa.
01:25:02 - We thought you'd gone.
01:25:06 - We are.
01:25:08 - We're not here.
01:25:11 The main thing is
01:25:14 I can guess who thought of this.
01:25:16 - We're off to bed.
01:25:19 - Has the bed been aired?
01:25:22 - I'll get a hot water bottle.
01:25:28 - Let me at her!
01:25:31 She's left you on your own, has she?
01:25:33 What are you supposed to do?
01:25:38 - What's she telling you now?
01:25:41 I'm supposed to tell him that!
01:25:43 - In the pigeon house?
01:25:47 Anybody would think
01:25:50 - Yes, but I can hear voices.
01:25:55 Box voices, I mean...
01:25:58 But there's no one here.
01:25:59 [Garry] Darling, I saw
01:26:02 These bags, I'm not sure they were...
01:26:05 When we went into the,
01:26:07 I still don't see why you have
01:26:10 Because if someone left
01:26:14 they obviously wish them
01:26:17 Mrs. Clockett?
01:26:18 It could be, on her way up here
01:26:24 I'll fetch them.
01:26:28 Mrs. Crackett,
01:26:32 At least I thanked
01:26:36 You're still poking around?
01:26:38 Yes, still poking. Still pulling.
01:26:43 Lucky I can't see far with this leg.
01:26:46 Just trying all the doors...
01:26:52 - Mrs. Blackett...
01:26:55 - Is there anyone else in the house?
01:27:01 I thought I heard boxes.
01:27:03 - There's no voices here, love.
01:27:07 - [big crash]
01:27:12 I beg your pardon.
01:27:16 Oh, my God!
01:27:28 - Why, what is it?
01:27:33 They'll need these things inside the...
01:27:39 You know what I mean.
01:27:47 Nothing but flapping doors in this... handle.
01:27:56 "Final notice... steps will be taken...
01:28:01 Oh, my God, who are you?
01:28:03 - I'm Philip.
01:28:08 - There were these sardines on the floor.
01:28:10 - And he slipped.
01:28:14 No, he's just a bit shaken.
01:28:25 You were going to tell me a gentleman
01:28:30 What?
01:28:31 You were going to tell me a gentleman
01:28:35 A gentleman come about the house.
01:28:37 - Don't tell me, I'm not here.
01:28:41 Just leave everything
01:28:45 All right, then, love.
01:28:50 I've forgotten the sardines.
01:28:52 No, I haven't forgotten the sardines.
01:28:57 What a surprise!
01:28:58 I guess I'll just go into the kitchen
01:29:03 I didn't get this. I'm not here.
01:29:07 But if I didn't get it,
01:29:10 Darling, I never had
01:29:15 - Didn't you?
01:29:19 - It's not something you gave me?
01:29:23 No, it's lovely.
01:29:25 Stick it down, put it back, never saw it.
01:29:28 I'll just put it in the attic
01:29:33 All right, now the study door's
01:29:35 What's going on?
01:29:37 Knocking. Upstairs.
01:29:40 [knocking]
01:29:42 Oh, my God. There's something
01:29:45 Listen, I can't.
01:29:46 I can't because
01:29:50 You'll just have to... Come on!
01:29:53 I mean, whatever's in there.
01:29:56 Look, there's no need to keep banging.
01:29:59 There's nothing I can... It won't...
01:30:03 Listen, climb round to the...
01:30:08 Shin down the...
01:30:13 For God's sake!
01:30:15 "Final notice... steps will be taken...
01:30:20 - It's you!
01:30:22 You put me in here in the dark
01:30:25 I put you in there, but you managed
01:30:29 - Why did you lock the door?
01:30:33 - Someone locked the door.
01:30:36 - Anyway, you can't stand here like that.
01:30:40 With people going in and out!
01:30:42 - Okay, I'll take it off.
01:30:44 "Final notice... steps will be taken...
01:30:48 - Now what?
01:30:52 - I didn't put it there.
01:30:55 Is someone in the bathroom
01:30:59 [Brooke] There's something freaky
01:31:01 Darling!
01:31:05 - What did you say?
01:31:08 I mean, there's the door handle.
01:31:10 Now, the first water box.
01:31:12 - I feel goose pimples all over.
01:31:14 Get the covers over our heads!
01:31:16 What did I do with those sardines?
01:31:19 You hear funny things
01:31:22 But this one has been
01:31:25 I can't see how anything creepy
01:31:29 What is it? What's happening?
01:31:32 The sardines, they've gone!
01:31:37 Oh, my God!
01:31:39 You put a plate of sardines down for
01:31:43 to find, I mean, these days,
01:31:47 when you come back is a plate of...
01:31:50 Perhaps there is
01:31:52 I'm going to get into bed
01:31:54 Because there they are, exactly where l...
01:32:00 I suppose Mrs. Stockett must've...
01:32:04 Jesus, what is going on?
01:32:06 - Bag!
01:32:08 What do you mean, bag?
01:32:09 - Sardines!
01:32:17 Bag? What bag?
01:32:20 - No bag!
01:32:22 Your bag's suddenly here now.
01:32:24 It's in the bedroom. It was in the bedroom.
01:32:28 - I'll put it in the bedroom.
01:32:32 The box. They've both not gone.
01:32:37 [Garry] What's happening? Where's
01:32:40 - No.
01:32:43 I am not going in there.
01:32:45 I'll fetch your dress out here.
01:32:49 Your dress has gone.
01:32:52 [Garry] Don't panic!
01:32:54 There's a perfectly rational explanation...
01:33:03 for this.
01:33:06 [screaming]
01:33:12 Darling, I know this is going
01:33:16 If we're not going to bed,
01:33:18 - Are you all right?
01:33:20 What happened?
01:33:21 - She's killed this one now.
01:33:24 She's putting sardines
01:33:26 - Are you all right?
01:33:28 - He's all right.
01:33:29 She'll get you next time.
01:33:31 - There's a rational explanation for all this.
01:33:34 I'll fetch Mrs. Splotchett
01:33:36 I'm here.
01:33:38 I fetch Mrs. Splotchett
01:33:40 No, she won't. She doesn't know
01:33:43 - I'll tell you.
01:33:45 No, he's not in there, my precious.
01:33:47 - He's here, look, and so am l.
01:33:52 Look, I know this is
01:33:56 It's a shock to find a man
01:33:59 Isn't it, darling?
01:34:01 But now we've all met.
01:34:04 Won't we, darling?
01:34:06 This is my husband.
01:34:10 Why don't you get that bottle
01:34:14 - It eats through anything.
01:34:16 I've heard of people getting stuck
01:34:24 No bars, no burglar alarms.
01:34:27 They ought to be prosecuted
01:34:31 Come in, and join the party, honey.
01:34:34 A burglar. This is most exciting.
01:34:38 This is all my fault because when I say,
01:34:40 "I've heard of people
01:34:43 and I open this door...
01:34:48 No bars, no burglar alarms.
01:34:50 They ought to be prosecuted
01:34:55 Oh, dear. I've done it again.
01:34:57 Sometimes it makes me
01:35:00 I know, it's getting
01:35:02 When I think I used to do banks.
01:35:05 Just keep going!
01:35:08 When I remember I used to do
01:35:11 I'm breaking into paper bags.
01:35:13 - Keep going.
01:35:15 You see, the coast was clear.
01:35:19 We'll think of something.
01:35:21 No, I was listening most carefully.
01:35:23 I've heard of people getting stuck
01:35:26 And he opens a door.
01:35:29 No bars, no burglar alarms.
01:35:33 They ought to be prosecuted
01:35:35 They always come in threes, don't they?
01:35:38 When I think I used to do banks.
01:35:40 When I remember I used
01:35:44 Hold on! We know this man!
01:35:47 He's not a burglar.
01:35:51 He's that nice man
01:35:53 [all] Oh!
01:35:55 I've been working on Hamlet
01:35:57 You think he needs working on
01:36:00 He's playing the burglar now?
01:36:02 Okay, I'll think of something.
01:36:05 - I fetched the sardines.
01:36:08 She's fetched the sardines!
01:36:10 - Get the tax demand.
01:36:13 All right, I suggest.
01:36:19 What's he saying?
01:36:20 He's saying, "Ring the police"!
01:36:23 Ring the police?!
01:36:25 It's for you.
01:36:27 - No phone.
01:36:31 - [Belinda] Here's the phone.
01:36:34 [phone rings]
01:36:36 Pick it up!
01:36:38 [all] Pick it up!
01:36:39 It's the police!
01:36:40 I'll just tell them a young woman is missing.
01:36:43 Yes, a young woman is missing.
01:36:45 It's in the garden now.
01:36:48 It's her. We forgot all about her.
01:36:51 - No, he almost saw me.
01:36:54 - So what do you think of that, my sweet?
01:37:00 House of heavenly peace! I rent it.
01:37:06 It's the other one!
01:37:09 Yes, it's their wedding day!
01:37:12 What a happy ending!
01:37:15 To the first act!
01:37:17 Of their new life together.
01:37:19 They just want to be alone
01:37:21 If only someone would pull the shades.
01:37:25 Come in?
01:37:26 - It's the mother of the bride.
01:37:29 Pull the shades!
01:37:30 Last line!
01:37:33 I'll tell you one thing, Vicki...
01:37:37 [all] What's that, Dad?
01:37:39 When all around is strife and uncertainty,
01:37:42 there's nothing like
01:37:46 Curtain!
01:38:37 [Selsdon] What's this?
01:38:45 Only one thing I'm missing now
01:38:49 [audience] Sardines!
01:38:51 [laughter and cheers]
01:38:55 Bravo!
01:38:59 Yes! I did it!
01:39:05 We did it!
01:39:09 [Lloyd] My wonderful cast!
01:39:13 Never doubted it for a moment.
01:39:17 Let me tell you something.
01:39:22 Look at these two. Don't they make
01:39:27 Tim's wonderful.
01:39:31 Poppy's wonderful.
01:39:35 We're all wonderful.
01:39:39 That's all it takes to have a success.
01:39:41 Wonderful actors,
01:39:43 six months on the road, professionalism.
01:39:47 Plus something else.
01:39:49 I think some kind of miracle.
01:39:54 Yes, and by the way, another funny thing
01:39:59 I didn't tell you about this one.
01:40:03 What, you don't believe this?
01:40:07 Never seen anything like it in my life,
01:40:12 Translation: dima360 [notabenoid.com]