Another Woman

en
00:00:20 If someone had asked me, when
00:00:24 I'd have said I'd reached a decent level of
00:00:30 Beyond that, I would say
00:00:33 Not that I was afraid of uncovering
00:00:37 But I always feel, if something
00:00:42 My name is Marion Post.
00:00:44 I'm Director of Undergraduate Studies
00:00:49 although right now I'm on leave
00:00:54 My husband is a very accomplished
00:00:57 who some years ago examined my heart,
00:01:02 It's the second marriage for us both, and
00:01:07 who lives with his former wife
00:01:10 She's a sweet girl who can be
00:01:14 and I've tried to take her
00:01:18 I also have a married brother.
00:01:21 My mother died recently,
00:01:26 Not much else to say, except
00:01:30 but construction noise next door
00:01:33 I subleased a one-room flat
00:01:37 A new book is always
00:01:41 and it requires that I really shut myself off
00:01:44 from everything but the work.
00:01:48 (d "Gymnopedie No. 1")
00:02:53 As I settled down to work that first
00:03:02 (man) Something about him
00:03:08 So this was my... my big experience
00:03:14 And I've never been able to get it out of
00:03:20 which are sort of bugging me.
00:03:25 (psychiatrist) What do
00:03:28 (man) Well, sometimes when I'm
00:03:34 Well, sometimes when I'm...
00:03:39 I find myself thinking about Giles.
00:03:43 And, uh, it's not that I'm not
00:03:47 I mean, I still am. I really am physically
00:03:53 While eavesdropping on the intimate
00:03:58 might be fascinating to some people,
00:04:02 when I rented the place.
00:04:04 (man) Well, um...
00:04:08 I don't really have to use him
00:04:21 I worked hard all day,
00:04:24 Beginning a book is always
00:04:28 and by late afternoon I'd become tired.
00:04:31 I lay my head down and closed
00:04:36 I don't know exactly
00:04:39 but one of the pillows must
00:04:42 because I gradually became
00:04:46 It was a woman's voice, and it was such
00:04:52 that I was totally arrested by its sadness.
00:04:57 (woman) I just know that I woke up
00:05:03 And time passed, and
00:05:09 I began having troubling
00:05:14 Like there was
00:05:20 Full of deceptions.
00:05:22 That these... these deceptions
00:05:25 had become so... so many,
00:05:28 and so much a part of me now,
00:05:31 that I couldn't even tell who I really was.
00:05:37 And suddenly I began to perspire.
00:05:41 I sat up in bed with
00:05:46 And I looked at my husband next to me,
00:05:49 and it was as if he... he was a stranger.
00:05:55 And I turned on the light
00:05:58 and I asked him to hold me.
00:06:01 (sobs)
00:06:04 And only after a long time
00:06:09 But for one moment, earlier,
00:06:12 it was as if a curtain had parted,
00:06:16 and I could see myself clearly.
00:06:20 But I was afraid of what I saw.
00:06:23 (sniffs)
00:06:25 And what I had to look forward to.
00:06:29 And I wondered...
00:06:32 I wondered about ending everything.
00:07:18 Please, please.
00:07:20 It is with a mixture of some joy,
00:07:27 that I hereby plunge into the big five-o.
00:07:36 I was, uh, I was fine till last week.
00:07:39 Then my son said to me, "Gee, Dad,
00:07:46 He's very funny, my son.
00:07:53 Marion, I was telling Lydia
00:07:56 - Oh, yes.
00:07:59 - No, this is an old brownstone.
00:08:03 Last week Lydia and I were at home.
00:08:07 - Mark...
00:08:10 - Mark!
00:08:14 - Are you crazy? He's drunk.
00:08:17 The living room floor,
00:08:20 - I gotta admit, it was a surprise.
00:08:24 So the door opens, and the
00:08:29 - Oh, no.
00:08:33 And we are in flagrante delicto.
00:08:35 You know what he does? He gets up,
00:08:39 this is not the pipe that needs fixing."
00:08:42 That was quick, Ken. Could you have
00:08:46 - No.
00:08:49 - Did he laugh?
00:08:51 He turned very red
00:08:57 Sad.
00:09:02 One good thing about becoming 50.
00:09:13 I know.
00:09:15 It's Laura. She had another fight with
00:09:19 It's not fair to Kathy.
00:09:23 Well, you tell her, cos once again
00:09:27 I know. Just... hold on a minute.
00:09:30 Will you talk to Marion? OK.
00:09:35 Laura? This is not a good habit to get into.
00:09:37 You know your mother's high-strung.
00:09:42 Well, it may not seem fair to you, but
00:09:49 Well, if she can't, then you
00:09:53 OK? I'll see you at my father's tomorrow.
00:09:57 We'll talk about it then. OK.
00:10:00 Bye-bye.
00:10:01 She listens to you cos she looks up
00:10:05 It's just... It's a terrible situation.
00:10:09 (d "The Bilbao Song" on piano)
00:10:15 Hey.
00:10:17 Take you back?
00:10:20 God, yeah.
00:10:34 Would you ever think of making love
00:10:42 Would you want me to?
00:10:44 I don't know. Would you want to?
00:10:48 I don't know.
00:10:53 Actually, I don't think I see you
00:10:57 No?
00:11:03 Hey, Ken, what are you doing
00:11:06 Hello, Lydia. Look,
00:11:10 Would you say that she was the type
00:11:14 - Ken!
00:11:17 - I'm only teasing.
00:11:21 But not unpleasant
00:11:29 Next morning I'd agreed to meet
00:11:33 I waited as long as I could, but when
00:11:38 - Marion. I'm sorry.
00:11:40 - I got stuck in traffic.
00:11:44 - Sorry. I just need a few minutes.
00:11:48 You said eight, and I waited,
00:11:51 - Stupid bus wouldn't move.
00:11:54 I've gotta be disciplined when I'm writing,
00:12:00 I need to borrow some money. You know,
00:12:05 I heard. I'm sorry.
00:12:08 - Are you?
00:12:12 Because... I know you
00:12:16 Why, I hardly know you.
00:12:19 It's not from my lack of trying.
00:12:22 Oh, look, I know this must all be very
00:12:26 I'm sorry.
00:12:29 If you needed money,
00:12:33 Well... he wouldn't.
00:12:36 Well, why not? He has before.
00:12:39 Marion,
00:12:41 don't you know how he feels about you?
00:12:43 Sure. We've always been very close.
00:12:48 You're deluding yourself.
00:12:51 Of course, in a way he idolises you, but...
00:12:55 he also hates you.
00:13:01 I'm sorry, I don't accept that.
00:13:04 You're such a perceptive woman. How
00:13:09 Look, um, I'm late, and...
00:13:11 and, uh...
00:13:14 to tell you the truth, I make it a practice
00:13:19 They're fruitless, and people say
00:13:23 Why don't you just tell me how much you
00:13:33 The encounter with my
00:13:36 but I refused to let it
00:13:40 I had a reasonably productive day,
00:13:44 I began to feel anxious somehow.
00:13:52 (woman) I really can't
00:13:58 Lately I've had odd feelings
00:14:03 It's as if it's been... coming apart.
00:14:08 And I've just been,
00:14:14 I must admit,
00:14:16 I have moments when I question
00:14:22 I've told you there
00:14:26 The last time I saw him
00:14:29 before I was married, at a party.
00:14:32 (d "A Fine Romance")
00:14:46 Stop it. Just stop it. This is just crazy.
00:14:52 - How can you marry Ken? You love me.
00:14:56 What makes you think that I love you?
00:14:58 I know. There are some things
00:15:04 Well, I-I... I'm... I... You're wrong,
00:15:09 - It's you you're misleading.
00:15:13 I mean, Ken is your close friend.
00:15:16 I love everything about you, and
00:15:20 Stop it! Stop it. Right now.
00:15:24 (woman) Marion? We're toasting!
00:15:27 Just go away.
00:15:33 To Ken and Marion
00:15:37 And to Marion's new book. German
00:15:42 Let's hope not.
00:15:43 You'll go on for ever. Heidegger
00:15:47 Hey, I'd like to propose a toast.
00:15:50 To good health and happiness.
00:15:54 - Aren't you gonna drink to Marion?
00:15:57 I drink to Marion with my eyes.
00:16:01 Smoothie. Old smoothie.
00:16:02 (doorbell)
00:16:20 I was just returning some things.
00:16:26 You could stop staring.
00:16:29 I'm not a ghost.
00:16:33 Well, we did spend a few years together,
00:16:38 I wish you'd called.
00:16:40 I'm not staying. Although some of
00:16:48 - Would you like a drink?
00:16:51 Don't panic, I'm not accepting.
00:16:54 These are artefacts from
00:16:59 (Ken) I think perhaps you
00:17:02 Which one's Marion?
00:17:05 - I am.
00:17:08 Oh, my ex-husband
00:17:11 Now what does Emily Post say about
00:17:16 in a Holiday Inn while his wife is in the
00:17:21 - OK, that's enough. Now please leave.
00:17:24 I realise that you've been hurt, and
00:17:29 Forgive me. I accept your condemnation.
00:17:39 I'm so sorry.
00:17:42 (d "Make Believe")
00:18:01 What can I say to change your heart?
00:18:06 I'm really amazed at you.
00:18:08 He's your friend. He's just... He's just
00:18:13 Yes, he is my friend. And I love him.
00:18:17 But he's a prig. He's cold and he's stuffy.
00:18:22 Can't you see that? "I accept
00:18:29 He handled a very
00:18:32 Oh, too well. Do you like that?
00:18:35 He's a snob.
00:18:37 He's a wonderful man.
00:18:40 And he's... he's a terrific doctor.
00:18:44 He's cultured and he's honourable.
00:18:47 I love to be with him. I... I...
00:18:51 - I love reading books with him, and...
00:18:55 And he's sexy.
00:18:58 Adultery in the Holiday Inn?
00:19:03 He would never try to undermine you.
00:19:08 Even if he loved a woman passionately?
00:19:17 Maybe we should join the others.
00:19:20 Maybe I was wrong about you.
00:19:24 - Maybe you're two of a kind.
00:19:28 Maybe this conversation is scaring you.
00:19:31 I have to go.
00:19:34 Why don't you do that?
00:19:44 (woman) I often wonder about real love.
00:19:48 Or should I say, I... I keep myself
00:19:53 - I don't mean the kind I've experienced.
00:19:56 It's deeper, much more intense.
00:20:03 Because I feel too much...
00:20:13 - Hi. How are ya?
00:20:16 This is great, this is really nice.
00:20:20 - Sure.
00:20:23 - No.
00:20:26 - You know your dad's not coming?
00:20:31 - Me?
00:20:33 - No, sure, I'm fine.
00:20:36 All right, well, we should get going
00:20:54 I've gathered a number of your
00:20:59 Pictures, letters.
00:21:02 You may as well have them.
00:21:04 I just can't seem to bring
00:21:08 - Was it unbearable, the past few months?
00:21:13 - I wish you'd consider moving to the city.
00:21:18 Clara comes in. She cleans and
00:21:23 so that's no different.
00:21:26 Twice a year the board
00:21:30 That gets me down to Washington,
00:21:38 I'm all right. I'm fine right here.
00:21:41 But you want nothing around
00:21:46 Well, there are times when even a
00:21:51 You think at your age you can meet
00:21:55 One hopes at my age
00:22:02 Are you aware that Paul and
00:22:06 Nothing Paul does would surprise me,
00:22:11 - He's had bad luck.
00:22:16 It's just that he doesn't have it
00:22:20 - I hope you're not still giving him money.
00:22:25 I've salvaged him from
00:22:30 and I've spent more money
00:22:35 Someday he'll defraud somebody in
00:22:41 And he'll go to jail.
00:22:44 (d "Sonata for Cello and Piano No. 2")
00:22:47 I noticed you sort of gave me
00:22:52 Well, I didn't think it was very
00:22:56 whether at his age
00:22:59 - Well, he didn't take it badly.
00:23:04 He's old now. He doesn't
00:23:07 I'm sorry.
00:23:09 It's OK, it's just...
00:23:12 Never mind, it's... youth.
00:23:15 Here are the photos.
00:23:18 And here's my mother's
00:23:22 They were never ones
00:23:27 Here's her book of Rilke's poems.
00:23:29 You know, she was the one who first
00:23:35 And there's a picture
00:23:38 That's really nice.
00:23:42 And there's Clara. Look how
00:23:45 You were so good to us. I can still
00:23:50 You used to sit up with us when we had
00:23:55 Oh, and here I am, older. I could go up
00:24:00 The time would just fly by
00:24:03 And there I am with my friend Claire.
00:24:08 We used to be so close,
00:24:12 And there's my mother. She loved
00:24:18 She loved all beautiful things.
00:24:22 That was her whole existence.
00:24:29 - Paul? I'd like to discuss something.
00:24:34 I've had a talk with my brother Ben.
00:24:37 And he has promised me that he will find
00:24:42 I don't wanna work
00:24:44 - It's paper products, Paul, not just boxes.
00:24:50 Paul...
00:24:53 There are some obligations
00:24:57 This has not been a good year.
00:25:00 Your mother is very ill, and I
00:25:04 to finish my study on
00:25:06 It's important that there is enough money
00:25:12 I want her to take that scholarship.
00:25:15 But I had other plans.
00:25:17 I'm sure those plans included
00:25:22 - That's not fair.
00:25:26 It's not because you're not smart enough,
00:25:31 I know. And Marion's a genius.
00:25:35 She has the opportunity
00:25:39 - Do you want to prevent her?
00:25:42 She's going to be something. She's got
00:25:48 If only I could stop her daydreaming in
00:26:05 (Marion) Paul?
00:26:09 What's wrong?
00:26:11 He's making me go to work
00:26:15 - Well, what do you wanna do?
00:26:18 Move out of the house, travel,
00:26:23 anything but work in a paper box factory.
00:26:27 I hate him. Both of them.
00:26:30 They live in their own world.
00:26:33 (d "Sonata for Cello and Piano No. 2")
00:26:56 - Is this close enough?
00:27:00 Why don't you come? He'd love to meet
00:27:05 Thank you, honey, but I'm really tired.
00:27:08 - Can I take a rain check?
00:27:11 It's really early, and Dad's
00:27:15 Do you see someone?
00:27:17 - I do.
00:27:20 It's just, uh... it's an acquaintance
00:27:28 All right, well, thanks a lot.
00:27:31 - OK.
00:28:54 I forgot half of that speech tonight.
00:28:59 Marion. I...
00:29:01 - Claire?
00:29:04 - Claire? I was just talking about you.
00:29:08 I was going through old photos at my
00:29:13 - I'm doing a play. And it's closing, but...
00:29:18 Yes. I guess you don't read
00:29:21 Well, yes, I do, but I just had no idea.
00:29:26 I'm sorry, what am I doing? I'm sorry.
00:29:30 - Marion Post.
00:29:33 Oh, my goodness. Claire, I have
00:29:37 - Well, we live in Monterey now.
00:29:41 - Sorry, we're meeting some friends.
00:29:46 - Do we?
00:29:49 - Come on, this way. Straight ahead.
00:29:59 (Marion)... Amnesty International and
00:30:04 (Jack) Listen, you gotta be kidding me.
00:30:09 a member of Amnesty International
00:30:13 Marion always had the urge
00:30:16 Just give me a flood or a famine. Ken too.
00:30:19 - Where do you find the time?
00:30:23 And head of the philosophy
00:30:26 I took two years of philosophy,
00:30:30 - They've got a great department.
00:30:35 And Claire, you never told me
00:30:38 - I thought I had.
00:30:41 - It was clear she'd be a gifted actress.
00:30:44 Don't you believe her.
00:30:49 Do you get to the theatre much?
00:30:53 I do. My husband really prefers
00:30:57 - I used to be a devoted Brechtian.
00:31:01 - Did you?
00:31:03 - Not the one here?
00:31:07 Sure I saw it. That's the most intelligent
00:31:12 - That's sweet of you.
00:31:15 Some of the speeches
00:31:18 - Exactly. The translation was awkward.
00:31:23 Hey, hey. Hey.
00:31:26 Look at me once in a while.
00:31:29 Huh?
00:31:30 You've been hanging on her
00:31:34 You're embarrassing me.
00:31:36 Jack is very impressed by certain things
00:31:40 Claire, take it easy.
00:31:41 Do you deny he's been looking
00:31:46 - I don't think you heard one word I said.
00:31:50 - If you'd rather be alone with her...
00:31:54 - We're just having a nice chat.
00:31:58 - This wouldn't be the first time.
00:32:01 - What does that mean?
00:32:04 We've been in this situation before,
00:32:06 where you so innocently wound up
00:32:10 Claire, you're being awfully theatrical.
00:32:13 I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:16 We didn't just drift apart,
00:32:21 - You're not talking about David?
00:32:26 - I know I never had any interest in him.
00:32:30 I had nothing to do with him. And I never
00:32:36 That's not true.
00:32:37 Your conversations were full of subtle
00:32:43 and... little gambits designed to seduce.
00:32:50 That's so untrue.
00:32:52 And you've held that against me?
00:32:54 He couldn't see anything except
00:32:59 We never spent a single moment alone.
00:33:03 And I say you seduced him. You just...
00:33:08 Maybe you didn't even know
00:33:11 Claire, let's get off the subject.
00:33:15 I must have seemed
00:33:17 This is nonsense! To have backed off of
00:33:23 I'm sure I brought it on myself.
00:33:26 You were my best friend. You were so
00:33:32 Of course you would want David
00:33:36 I refused his overtures. I told him he was
00:33:41 - By that time you had what you wanted.
00:33:45 I really believe that you may not
00:33:49 This is outrageous.
00:33:53 I swear to you, it was never in my mind.
00:33:58 Think about it. Just think about it
00:34:14 When I got home Ken was asleep.
00:34:20 The incident with Claire had
00:34:23 I thought if I read for a while
00:34:27 I thumbed through
00:34:31 When I was 16 I had done a paper
00:34:36 and on the image that the panther saw
00:34:41 And that image, I concluded,
00:34:46 Then I saw my mother's favourite poem,
00:34:50 "Archaic Torso of Apollo".
00:34:54 There were stains on the page,
00:35:01 They fell across the last line.
00:35:05 "For here there is no place
00:35:11 "You must change your life."
00:35:18 (Ken) You got in late last night.
00:35:20 (Marion) I ran into an old friend.
00:35:23 Then I didn't sleep. I don't think
00:35:27 I don't know how you do it. I'd collapse.
00:35:30 We're going to the concert
00:35:34 I'm good for today, it's tomorrow I'll feel it.
00:35:38 Yeah, but tomorrow we're going
00:35:42 And Friday, Mark and Lydia are
00:35:46 - Is it our anniversary already?
00:35:54 What's the matter?
00:35:56 I don't know.
00:36:00 What is it?
00:36:03 Well, you know, shouldn't we
00:36:06 We could go to the restaurant where
00:36:10 In Philadelphia?
00:36:17 Hold me.
00:36:22 Hey.
00:36:26 Honey.
00:36:30 I've already found your present.
00:36:40 Did I seduce you away from your wife?
00:36:46 No, I seduced you, don't you remember?
00:36:50 Then I was worried in case you wouldn't
00:36:57 Well...
00:36:59 So how was it with Laura last night?
00:37:03 Yeah.
00:37:06 I'd better get going, I guess. I have to
00:37:11 OK.
00:37:33 (psychiatrist) You're silent today.
00:37:36 Usually you're quite talkative.
00:37:40 (woman) Yeah, I... I-I have nothing to say.
00:37:47 (psychiatrist) Mm-hm.
00:37:57 (woman) I... That is,
00:38:04 (psychiatrist) Are you angry?
00:38:08 (woman) No, not that I'm aware of.
00:38:11 (psychiatrist) But you
00:38:15 (woman) No.
00:38:28 (d "Ecuatorial")
00:39:24 (Laura) She saw us, Scott.
00:39:28 (Scott) You said they were
00:39:30 (Laura) Dad said he was uncomfortable
00:39:35 and I tried to explain, make him trust me,
00:39:40 - Come on, I'm sure she's sophisticated.
00:39:44 - I thought you said she was pretty hip.
00:39:48 She's great. She... I dunno,
00:39:54 She's a little... judgmental.
00:39:56 You know? She sort of stands
00:40:02 I've heard her make remarks
00:40:06 I always think that she's gonna
00:40:10 I just... Now I feel really
00:40:15 - (Scott) Cheap?
00:40:17 - Cheap?
00:40:18 - I thought it was very romantic.
00:40:21 (Scott) With the fire, and the wine...
00:40:25 (Laura) Yeah. It was.
00:40:29 I couldn't work any more that day.
00:40:32 I felt I needed some fresh air.
00:40:35 I walked the streets aimlessly, just trying
00:40:42 I don't know how long I wandered,
00:40:44 but when I looked up I was
00:41:07 What's happened?
00:41:10 I don't know.
00:41:14 Well, what are you doing here?
00:41:22 - Something must be wrong.
00:41:27 Marion, you don't seek out
00:41:32 You must need something.
00:41:34 Yes, I do need something.
00:41:37 Only I don't know what it is, exactly.
00:41:41 - Well, what do I have I could offer?
00:41:46 You and I were so close
00:41:52 How honest do you want me to be?
00:41:55 It was just today that I realised how long
00:42:00 Well...
00:42:03 I gave up pursuing you when I realised
00:42:08 - That's not true.
00:42:15 You know...
00:42:17 I realised... that I disappointed you.
00:42:22 And worse, I realised that I embarrass
00:42:28 Of course, that's falling apart now,
00:42:33 She wants me to work for Cousin Andrew.
00:42:41 But she's right, you know, because I never
00:42:47 Well, would that be so awful?
00:42:53 You used to say that.
00:42:55 I know. I know I did, but...
00:42:59 - Times change.
00:43:03 Do you remember, some years ago,
00:43:06 when I, uh, I showed you something I'd
00:43:12 No, I don't remember. I was
00:43:17 Yes, I'm sure.
00:43:22 "It's too emotional. It's maudlin."
00:43:25 "Your dreams may be meaningful to you,
00:43:31 "It's so embarrassing."
00:43:34 I said that?
00:43:36 Exactly your words.
00:43:41 So I try not to embarrass you...
00:43:44 any more.
00:43:52 I should go.
00:43:55 (d "Symphony No. 4 in G Major")
00:44:15 I've spent all afternoon trying to
00:44:19 to celebrate your anniversary on Friday.
00:44:22 What's wrong with
00:44:25 where you had your first
00:44:30 - You see? He thinks like you think.
00:44:34 I should drink. I should drink. If I ever
00:44:40 Excuse me, I'm sorry to disturb you, but...
00:44:43 I was a pupil of yours
00:44:48 Cynthia Frank? You probably
00:44:51 Yes, I do. I do remember you.
00:44:53 - You changed my life.
00:44:56 You... she was the inspiration for every
00:45:01 - That's very kind of you.
00:45:05 There was a particular talk you gave
00:45:11 Well, your ideas were amazing to me,
00:45:18 Well, didn't mean to interrupt,
00:45:21 I've seen you here before, and I never was
00:45:27 Thanks.
00:45:28 (Mark) Hey, all right. All right. Well done.
00:45:31 Do you remember that lecture? It's terrific
00:45:38 (Lydia) It's very touching.
00:45:41 I had spent a second sleepless night,
00:45:47 I couldn't write at all, and
00:45:52 Usually I can't sleep in the day,
00:45:56 I closed my eyes for a few minutes, and
00:46:03 (psychiatrist) You're not
00:46:08 You haven't said a thing,
00:46:14 I don't believe you have nothing to say.
00:46:20 I think it's because you're angry.
00:46:24 Too choked with rage to speak.
00:46:27 What is it that enrages you?
00:46:37 (woman) Life.
00:46:40 - Life?
00:46:45 The cruelty, the injustice.
00:46:48 The suffering of humanity.
00:46:51 Illness, ageing... death.
00:46:54 All very abstract. "Humanity."
00:47:00 Get your own life in order.
00:47:03 - (sighs) Yeah.
00:47:13 What would you say
00:47:17 - Self-deception.
00:47:21 - I don't think she can part with the lies.
00:47:27 - Not that she doesn't want to.
00:47:31 When she wants to, she will.
00:47:34 - It's all happening so fast.
00:47:37 I'm trying to prevent her
00:47:41 - You don't think she would?
00:47:45 - She has?
00:47:47 That's not her style. She's doing it
00:47:51 and has been since she was very young.
00:47:55 Now, if you'll pardon me,
00:48:16 Now that my life is...
00:48:19 drawing to a close,
00:48:22 I have only regrets.
00:48:25 Regrets that the woman
00:48:30 is not the one I loved the most deeply.
00:48:34 Regrets that there is no love between
00:48:41 Regrets that perhaps I've been
00:48:47 too demanding, that I haven't
00:48:54 But I was so unhappy myself,
00:48:57 so caught up in those stupid
00:49:04 Even though I have achieved
00:49:10 I asked too little of myself.
00:49:15 Suddenly the dream shifted and I found
00:49:21 It seemed to be where I had run
00:49:26 (d "Ecuatorial")
00:49:39 - What's going on?
00:49:43 Would she like to observe the rehearsal?
00:49:48 She plays innumerable roles.
00:49:51 Would you ever think of making love
00:49:55 - Would you want me to?
00:49:59 Well, somehow I've never seen you
00:50:03 No. That's a pretty insulting thing to say.
00:50:07 It's you that's the type not to make love
00:50:12 - Now who's being insulting?
00:50:16 Well, it's 1am.
00:50:20 Let's try being honest. There's not much
00:50:27 - Is there not? I haven't noticed.
00:50:30 I'm trying to tell you something.
00:50:33 - Well, was it ever?
00:50:37 Marion, I'm tired.
00:50:39 We rarely sleep together any more,
00:50:43 It's the same routine. I know what
00:50:47 Yeah, it's true, we are both creatures of
00:50:53 And could you please try not
00:50:59 Last night you kept saying "Larry". I
00:51:04 At the mention of Larry Lewis's name,
00:51:07 I experienced odd feelings
00:51:12 I wanted to weep in the dream,
00:51:15 but the tears wouldn't come.
00:51:19 - Are you married?
00:51:25 Oh yes.
00:51:28 Yes, I had heard that.
00:51:30 Larry wants us to move back
00:51:33 We've had such a nice time in Santa Fe.
00:51:37 - Are you happy?
00:51:41 Why don't I leave you two?
00:51:50 I see your by-line
00:51:54 Did you read my novel?
00:51:57 I have it, but I am embarrassed
00:52:01 You inspired one of the characters.
00:52:04 Oh?
00:52:06 - I hope you weren't too rough on me.
00:52:14 Your wife is lovely.
00:52:16 Yes. I met her right after
00:52:19 Her name's Jennifer.
00:52:24 - Do you have any children?
00:52:27 We have a daughter.
00:52:29 It's been the greatest,
00:52:44 Do you ever think of me?
00:52:47 (Larry) Do you ever think of me?
00:52:50 Once in a while.
00:52:54 I hope you're happy with Ken.
00:52:57 I ran into him on the street not too
00:53:02 I think of you more than once in a while.
00:53:06 But without regret. Please,
00:53:10 (Claire) Darling, come here for a moment.
00:53:16 Which character
00:53:19 Hlenka. I gave you
00:53:23 I described our times together.
00:53:25 You'll recognise it.
00:53:28 I have to go now.
00:53:31 My wife needs me.
00:53:41 Marion, please, don't cry.
00:53:44 Although I am glad to hear
00:53:47 - I'd like to go home.
00:53:51 I just thought you might like
00:53:55 Your first husband's suicide scene.
00:53:59 It's touching.
00:54:01 Sam was not a suicide.
00:54:03 How do you know? It was
00:54:09 He died in his sleep from
00:54:14 I was at his funeral.
00:54:16 (Jack) Well, you know,
00:54:19 Alone in a hotel room,
00:54:21 depressed...
00:54:24 (Marion) Sam was a wonderful man.
00:54:27 We had such lovely times together.
00:54:32 You taught me so much.
00:54:35 You were a wonderful pupil. Certainly
00:54:40 Still, the age difference...
00:54:43 I shouldn't have seduced you.
00:54:47 I should have resisted that temptation.
00:54:50 I shouldn't have made you adore me,
00:54:54 the temptation was too great.
00:54:57 And so I paid the price.
00:55:00 We both paid the price.
00:55:02 Inevitably there comes a time when
00:55:08 And what seemed like constant joyous
00:55:12 becomes suffocation.
00:55:15 Ironically, that's what they
00:55:19 "Suffocation."
00:55:22 Oh, Sam.
00:55:24 (Jack) Wait, there's another important
00:55:28 No.
00:55:31 No more.
00:55:36 That night we had what was
00:55:39 with Tom and Eleanor Banks.
00:55:43 Everyone was full of energy, and
00:55:49 Not only was I tired but the dream
00:56:00 Tom and Eleanor are funny.
00:56:02 All that carrying-on about ESP
00:56:06 You'd think they'd be more sensible.
00:56:09 And then when you put it down so
00:56:13 You were a little cruel, however correct.
00:56:16 I was so tired, I was in a stinking mood.
00:56:21 Maybe there is more to life than meets
00:56:25 Their beliefs are one step ahead of Ouija
00:56:30 You'd think no one had sailed
00:56:33 If we're so contemptuous of Tom and
00:56:37 It's just when they get on to certain topics.
00:56:43 Why do we have to see people every night
00:56:48 - Well, that's not so.
00:56:52 Yours, mine, people we hardly know.
00:56:55 We've known Tom and Eleanor for years.
00:56:57 - And you don't even enjoy him.
00:57:00 You've spoken contemptuously many
00:57:04 - which you don't take seriously.
00:57:06 No, you're not. You disguise it
00:57:10 - You're trying to provoke an argument.
00:57:15 - I didn't think we were.
00:57:19 We talk.
00:57:20 Why go out with Mark and Lydia
00:57:23 If that's all that's bothering you,
00:57:27 But neither should we drive all the way
00:57:31 Don't do that. Don't make
00:57:35 OK, but it's the same level
00:57:39 We might as well have it on the floor.
00:57:42 - I don't believe we're discussing this.
00:57:46 We are simply going through a less active
00:57:51 Why? I just wanna know why.
00:57:54 Why don't we just go to bed?
00:57:57 There was a time that
00:58:02 Marion, you're still the most
00:58:06 But we won't make love tonight
00:58:13 I hadn't realised how much of that
00:58:18 I'm really sorry. If I've done
00:58:24 I accept your condemnation.
00:58:36 (d"Cello Suite No.6 in D Major")
00:58:41 (Sam) You were a wonderful pupil.
00:58:43 Certainly the most interesting one
00:58:54 I love you.
00:58:56 I love you too.
00:59:03 - Happy birthday.
00:59:05 Oh, I wanted to. Open it.
00:59:12 While you were out I read your paper.
00:59:17 It's your work that's brilliant.
00:59:23 - What is it? From a play or something?
00:59:26 It's an original from a French
00:59:30 - I love it.
00:59:33 It was all I could afford
00:59:56 (d "The Bilbao Song")
01:00:01 The following morning I realised I'd
01:00:06 I thought it would be a simple thing,
01:00:10 The truth was I couldn't really
01:00:14 After window-shopping for an hour or so,
01:00:18 At first I didn't think there'd be
01:00:22 but somehow I was drawn to look further.
01:00:25 The place was empty and dusty,
01:00:30 It was full of odd pieces, and I found
01:00:57 (woman sobbing)
01:01:08 (Marion) Excuse me. Are you all right?
01:01:14 Thank you. I'm OK.
01:01:21 Can I help you?
01:01:25 I'm sorry. I don't know why
01:01:30 Thank you.
01:01:32 Thank you. I was... I was just
01:01:37 And I just felt so sad.
01:01:40 Oh, but this is a very optimistic work.
01:01:43 You know, I saw the original
01:01:48 I think, of all the paintings Klimt did
01:01:54 I'm sorry.
01:02:00 Are you an artist?
01:02:02 Yes. Well, I used to do some
01:02:05 I was absolutely in love
01:02:11 It's funny. Just this morning I was
01:02:15 - I'd like to get back into it.
01:02:22 I guess we all imagine
01:02:27 But that was a long time ago.
01:02:31 Well, anyway...
01:02:36 - Are you feeling better now?
01:02:39 - What kind of paintings did you do?
01:02:46 We left the store and walked together.
01:02:48 I wanted to know her better
01:02:51 We talked about art, and the discussion
01:02:56 We stopped at a gallery and spent
01:03:00 and I took a chance and invited her to
01:03:05 She suggested a little out-of-the-way
01:03:10 We ordered a bottle of wine, although
01:03:14 The result was that I wound up
01:03:17 and while I really wanted to find out about
01:03:23 50.
01:03:26 I didn't think anything of turning 30.
01:03:33 Everybody said I would.
01:03:36 Then they said I'd be crushed turning 40.
01:03:40 But they were wrong. I didn't
01:03:46 Then they said that I'd be
01:03:52 And they were right.
01:03:57 I'll tell you the truth.
01:04:01 I don't think I've ever recovered
01:04:05 Aw, gee, 50's not so old.
01:04:08 No, I know it isn't, but...
01:04:12 you just suddenly look up
01:04:16 You're in a good spot, aren't you?
01:04:21 Well, I thought I was.
01:04:25 And then there's chances gone by
01:04:29 Well, like what?
01:04:32 I don't know.
01:04:39 Maybe it would be nice to have a child.
01:04:46 You really think that?
01:04:53 I do.
01:04:56 I've never said it before, but I do.
01:05:02 (Sam) How arrogant! How
01:05:05 I told you I didn't want a baby!
01:05:07 What do you mean, "didn't want a baby"?
01:05:10 - It was partly mine!
01:05:14 - I'm just destroyed!
01:05:17 - and I have to stop and bring it up.
01:05:21 - You know it would devolve down to me.
01:05:25 - I told you, it was not part of my plan.
01:05:29 Consulting you?! It's my baby!
01:05:31 Do I have to consult you for every move
01:05:35 - You said you wanted children.
01:05:38 I don't have the future stretched
01:05:42 It's easy for you to say. You've done
01:05:46 trying to make something of myself!
01:05:49 But you could do it without asking me! Or
01:05:54 I didn't want to be argued out of it. We've
01:05:59 Do you want to bring a child
01:06:03 You're the one that hates it so much,
01:06:06 forever lecturing me on the
01:06:09 - I hate you so!
01:06:12 I can't stand this any more! Let me go!
01:06:16 To be capable of such a lack of feeling!
01:06:19 Knowing how I felt!
01:06:21 Caring only about how you felt!
01:06:23 Your career. Your life of the mind.
01:07:14 (woman) I feel... I feel a little depressed.
01:07:19 I met a really sad woman today.
01:07:23 A woman you'd think
01:07:26 and she doesn't. She has nothing.
01:07:29 And it made me feel frightened.
01:07:33 Because I feel...
01:07:35 I feel if I don't stop myself,
01:07:38 as the years go by,
01:07:45 She can't allow herself to feel.
01:07:48 So the result is she's led this...
01:07:52 cold cerebral life, and... and has
01:07:59 Well, you know, we've
01:08:02 how I... how I only... only
01:08:06 That's exactly what she does. She...
01:08:09 She's pretended for so long
01:08:13 but you can see clearly
01:08:19 She had an abortion years ago,
01:08:24 She rationalises it in many ways,
01:08:26 but I think the truth is she was afraid of
01:08:33 And she's a very bright woman,
01:08:36 But like me, she... Well, you know
01:08:44 I've run away from men
01:08:47 because the intensity of their
01:08:53 I guess you can't keep deep feelings
01:08:59 I just don't want to look up when I'm
01:09:05 (d "The Bilbao Song")
01:09:14 (woman) Anyhow,
01:09:16 while we were at lunch,
01:09:21 In the midst of a conversation,
01:10:11 (Ken) Marion?
01:10:15 You're late.
01:10:17 I got you an anniversary present.
01:10:20 I know it's tomorrow,
01:10:29 I didn't know what to get you.
01:10:38 As I said, I always like an opera.
01:10:46 Happy anniversary.
01:10:49 Come on, let's get dressed.
01:10:54 I'm not going anywhere.
01:10:57 What are you talking about?
01:11:03 I saw you and Lydia in the restaurant
01:11:08 I watched the two of you.
01:11:13 Afterwards I went walking for
01:11:21 Actually, if I'd had any perception,
01:11:25 I would have been
01:11:29 Because you and I committed adultery for
01:11:36 That was a very different situation.
01:11:39 I don't think it was.
01:11:48 I guess it wouldn't mean much if
01:11:55 It was never very serious.
01:11:59 And it was, uh, utterly foolish
01:12:05 I feel sorry for you, Ken, because in your
01:12:15 Have we been lonely?
01:12:20 At least I've come to recognise it.
01:12:28 The following days,
01:12:31 Mostly I walked the streets
01:12:35 trying to put everything in order.
01:12:37 I felt the need to talk to my brother Paul,
01:12:40 who had made an important
01:12:45 Strange. Lynn and I go through hell
01:12:49 you and Ken never fight
01:12:53 - So will you move out? Or will he?
01:12:59 I really do want a clean start.
01:13:01 I wanna do a lot of things differently.
01:13:05 And that does mean between us, too.
01:13:10 I'd like to spend a lot more
01:13:14 I'd like to get to know everyone.
01:13:18 If that's OK with you.
01:13:36 So was it Dad's fault?
01:13:39 Oh, we both did, you know?
01:13:42 I mean, I'm just as much
01:13:46 - Maybe more.
01:13:50 I just wanted to make sure that the
01:13:55 Well, I... to tell you the truth, I'm really...
01:13:58 I'm not shocked, I'm just
01:14:04 If I can be honest, I always felt there was
01:14:09 I don't know. Maybe too comfortable,
01:14:15 Just something, you know?
01:14:19 Well, I hope that this isn't
01:14:24 I really value your friendship.
01:14:26 Yeah, and I value yours.
01:14:39 - Yes?
01:14:43 and I thought you should know that
01:14:47 - I can hear all your patients quite clearly.
01:14:50 Well, thank you. I'll take care of it. I've had
01:14:56 By the way, you have a young woman
01:15:01 I wonder if you could tell me
01:15:05 Oh, yes. She's terminated her treatment.
01:15:09 She's gone away. I don't have any way of
01:15:18 I resumed work. It went well,
01:15:21 and I was undisturbed
01:15:24 The writing seemed to flow
01:15:27 Once on a sunny morning
01:15:30 and I thought I would look through
01:15:35 I was curious about the character Hlenka,
01:15:41 I opened the book, leafed through,
01:15:44 and sat down as my eye
01:15:55 "Hlenka and I accidentally
01:15:59 while we were both
01:16:02 "I knew her because she was the
01:16:07 "Recently they had decided to marry.
01:16:12 because from the moment he introduced
01:16:18 "I convinced her to have a drink with me."
01:16:21 "It was the only time I'd ever been
01:16:25 "She was lovely, and I spoke
01:16:30 because I was embarrassed
01:16:33 which I felt were painfully obvious. "
01:16:38 "We walked around in Central Park
01:16:42 "I told her about a book I was planning
01:16:48 "She spoke enthusiastically
01:16:51 but I thought it was too enthusiastic,
01:16:54 as if she were trying to convince
01:16:59 "Soon it began to rain."
01:17:02 "We ducked into an underpass
01:17:06 "I remember thinking
01:17:09 and how beautiful she
01:17:13 "And I wanted to tell her so many things
01:17:19 "And I think she knew everything,
01:17:23 "And yet some instinct told me that
01:17:31 "Her kiss was full of desire,
01:17:34 and I knew I couldn't share
01:17:42 "And then a wall went up, and just
01:17:47 "But it was too late, because I now knew
01:17:52 if she would one day
01:17:58 I closed the book, and felt a strange
01:18:05 And I wondered if a memory is something
01:18:11 For the first time in