|
Odd Couple The
|
| 00:01:35 |
Room, please. |
| 00:01:37 |
You alone? |
| 00:01:40 |
Luggage? |
| 00:01:43 |
How long |
| 00:01:46 |
Not very long. |
| 00:01:49 |
$5.00. |
| 00:01:52 |
$5.00. |
| 00:02:02 |
307. |
| 00:02:05 |
Haven't you anything higher? |
| 00:02:08 |
Higher? |
| 00:02:17 |
914? |
| 00:02:56 |
Good night. |
| 00:02:58 |
Goodbye. |
| 00:06:38 |
Baby! |
| 00:06:39 |
Yeah! |
| 00:09:05 |
Ante. |
| 00:09:06 |
Ante up. |
| 00:09:42 |
Excuse me, sir. |
| 00:09:44 |
Aren't you the one |
| 00:09:46 |
You don't like it, |
| 00:09:48 |
Jeez, it stinks in here. |
| 00:09:49 |
What time is it? |
| 00:09:51 |
Again? |
| 00:09:52 |
I just like to know |
| 00:09:53 |
You're winning $95. |
| 00:09:55 |
Where the hell are you running? |
| 00:09:57 |
I just asked what time it was. |
| 00:09:58 |
It's 10:30. |
| 00:10:02 |
Got to leave by 12:00. |
| 00:10:03 |
Oh, jeez. |
| 00:10:04 |
I told you that |
| 00:10:06 |
Murray, didn't I say that |
| 00:10:10 |
Don't talk to him. |
| 00:10:14 |
Want to rest for a while, Murray? |
| 00:10:16 |
Go lie down, sweetheart. |
| 00:10:17 |
You want speed or accuracy? |
| 00:10:22 |
Hey, you want to |
| 00:10:25 |
Smoke towards New Jersey. |
| 00:10:30 |
No kidding. I'm really worried |
| 00:10:32 |
He's never been |
| 00:10:34 |
Maybe somebody should call. |
| 00:10:37 |
Hey, Oscar! Why don't you |
| 00:10:39 |
Why don't we chip in |
| 00:10:42 |
How can you breathe here? |
| 00:10:43 |
How many cards |
| 00:10:46 |
Yes, Murray, we all |
| 00:10:48 |
You give us one more, |
| 00:10:50 |
If you gave us two, |
| 00:10:52 |
You understand |
| 00:10:54 |
Is Oscar playing or not? |
| 00:10:56 |
Hey, Oscar! |
| 00:10:58 |
Yeah? |
| 00:10:59 |
Hey, Oscar, you in or out? |
| 00:11:02 |
Out, pussycat, out! |
| 00:11:04 |
Told my wife I'd be home |
| 00:11:07 |
We're making an 8:00 plane |
| 00:11:11 |
Who goes to Florida in July? |
| 00:11:13 |
It's off-season. |
| 00:11:15 |
and you get the best room |
| 00:11:18 |
No cards. |
| 00:11:19 |
Some vacation. Six cheap people |
| 00:11:22 |
Dealer takes four. |
| 00:11:24 |
Hey, you think maybe |
| 00:11:27 |
I mean, he's never |
| 00:11:29 |
This is the same garbage |
| 00:11:32 |
I'm beginning to |
| 00:11:34 |
I'm out. |
| 00:11:35 |
Two kings. |
| 00:11:36 |
Straight. |
| 00:11:37 |
Maybe he's in his office |
| 00:11:41 |
Did you know that Felix |
| 00:11:42 |
was once locked |
| 00:11:44 |
He wrote out his entire will |
| 00:11:46 |
on half a roll |
| 00:11:48 |
What a nut. |
| 00:11:50 |
Don't play with your chips. |
| 00:11:51 |
I'm asking you nice. |
| 00:11:53 |
I'm not playing, |
| 00:11:54 |
Leave me alone, will you? |
| 00:11:55 |
If you stop playing |
| 00:11:57 |
I hate winners |
| 00:12:00 |
It's my house, Vinnie. |
| 00:12:01 |
You want to play with your chips, |
| 00:12:03 |
I'm in for a quarter. |
| 00:12:04 |
Won't you look |
| 00:12:06 |
What for? |
| 00:12:08 |
Who gets the Pepsi? |
| 00:12:10 |
I get a Pepsi. |
| 00:12:11 |
Murray the policeman |
| 00:12:13 |
Still didn't fix the refrigerator? |
| 00:12:15 |
It's been two weeks. |
| 00:12:17 |
Temper, temper. |
| 00:12:19 |
I'd go back with my wife. |
| 00:12:21 |
I'm out. Who wants food? |
| 00:12:23 |
What do you got? |
| 00:12:25 |
I got brown sandwiches |
| 00:12:29 |
Which one do you want? |
| 00:12:31 |
What's the green? |
| 00:12:32 |
It's either very new cheese |
| 00:12:35 |
I'll take the brown. |
| 00:12:36 |
You're not going to |
| 00:12:38 |
I'm hungry. |
| 00:12:40 |
His refrigerator's |
| 00:12:42 |
I saw milk |
| 00:12:43 |
that wasn't in a bottle. |
| 00:12:45 |
What are you, a health nut? |
| 00:12:47 |
I got six cards. |
| 00:12:49 |
It figures. |
| 00:12:50 |
Misdeal. |
| 00:12:52 |
You know who makes |
| 00:12:54 |
Ever taste his cream cheese |
| 00:12:57 |
Make up your mind... |
| 00:12:59 |
Aah! Oscar, you got beer |
| 00:13:04 |
You got it on the chips. |
| 00:13:06 |
You got it all over me now! |
| 00:13:08 |
Are we going to stand here |
| 00:13:10 |
or play some poker? |
| 00:13:12 |
Here. |
| 00:13:13 |
You got it on the suits. |
| 00:13:15 |
Don't put it |
| 00:13:17 |
Put it on the side. |
| 00:13:18 |
Wipe the cards. |
| 00:13:20 |
Get the beer. |
| 00:13:23 |
How can you play like this? |
| 00:13:25 |
Wipe the beer off. |
| 00:13:27 |
Come on, let's play |
| 00:13:29 |
What's the game? |
| 00:13:31 |
Who's playing here? |
| 00:13:32 |
Vinnie, what time you leaving? |
| 00:13:34 |
12:00. |
| 00:13:35 |
We got 10 minutes |
| 00:13:37 |
All right, this is |
| 00:13:40 |
"Five-card studarino" |
| 00:13:42 |
A red lady, a deuce cuatro, |
| 00:13:45 |
a big ace for |
| 00:13:47 |
The pot's shy. |
| 00:13:50 |
You didn't. |
| 00:13:51 |
You got a big mouth. |
| 00:13:53 |
I just did. |
| 00:13:55 |
I keep winning |
| 00:13:57 |
You owe everybody. |
| 00:13:59 |
If you don't have it, |
| 00:14:01 |
I'm through being nice. |
| 00:14:02 |
You owe me $6.00 apiece |
| 00:14:05 |
What buffet? |
| 00:14:08 |
Hot beer and sandwiches |
| 00:14:09 |
left over from high school. |
| 00:14:11 |
What do you want, |
| 00:14:13 |
Murray, lend me $20, |
| 00:14:15 |
you're in Central Park |
| 00:14:18 |
Maybe that's Felix. |
| 00:14:22 |
Pair of 6s. |
| 00:14:23 |
Three deuces. |
| 00:14:25 |
Why didn't you go |
| 00:14:27 |
If that's my wife, |
| 00:14:30 |
You look at your watch again, |
| 00:14:32 |
you get peanuts in your face. |
| 00:14:33 |
Cut. |
| 00:14:34 |
I can't hear you. |
| 00:14:36 |
Dabby? Dabby who? |
| 00:14:40 |
Oh, Daddy! For crying |
| 00:14:44 |
Brucey, how are you, baby? |
| 00:14:48 |
Huh? Yes...No, I couldn't... |
| 00:14:50 |
No, there's a lot of boys here. |
| 00:14:53 |
Boys, give me a break! |
| 00:14:55 |
My 5-year-old |
| 00:14:57 |
Must be costing him a fortune. |
| 00:14:59 |
How have you been, honey? |
| 00:15:04 |
Yes. It took three weeks. |
| 00:15:06 |
Next time, you tell Mommy |
| 00:15:10 |
Yeah, I know, honey, |
| 00:15:12 |
but you're not |
| 00:15:14 |
You hear this? |
| 00:15:16 |
We hear. We hear. |
| 00:15:19 |
Huh? Huh? Oh, Mommy |
| 00:15:22 |
All right, sweetheart. |
| 00:15:26 |
Ante $1 .00. |
| 00:15:27 |
You got |
| 00:15:29 |
Not after I get through |
| 00:15:32 |
Hello, Blanche. How are you? |
| 00:15:34 |
I got a good idea |
| 00:15:36 |
I'm a week behind |
| 00:15:39 |
Four weeks? It's not possible. |
| 00:15:40 |
It's not possible. |
| 00:15:42 |
Blanche, I keep a record |
| 00:15:45 |
I happen to know |
| 00:15:49 |
Look, don't threaten me |
| 00:15:52 |
because it's not a threat. |
| 00:15:54 |
With my expenses and my alimony, |
| 00:15:56 |
a prisoner takes home |
| 00:15:59 |
Very nice language |
| 00:16:03 |
I'm $800 behind in alimony. |
| 00:16:07 |
She can do it. |
| 00:16:08 |
What? |
| 00:16:09 |
Throw you in jail. |
| 00:16:10 |
If she can't aggravate me |
| 00:16:13 |
Aren't you worried |
| 00:16:14 |
The kids are living |
| 00:16:17 |
with a swimming pool |
| 00:16:18 |
Can we just play cards? |
| 00:16:20 |
I said you'd get into trouble. |
| 00:16:22 |
I should know... |
| 00:16:24 |
If you're my accountant, |
| 00:16:25 |
If you need money, |
| 00:16:27 |
Because I need money. |
| 00:16:28 |
You always lose. |
| 00:16:29 |
That's why I need money. |
| 00:16:30 |
Then don't play. |
| 00:16:32 |
Then don't come to my house |
| 00:16:34 |
Beautiful. |
| 00:16:36 |
Why are you yelling? |
| 00:16:39 |
Who's playing? |
| 00:16:41 |
Since 7:00! I said then |
| 00:16:44 |
You want a banana in the mouth? |
| 00:16:47 |
All right. |
| 00:16:49 |
Calm down! Calm down! |
| 00:16:52 |
I could arrest |
| 00:16:57 |
Let's just play cards, |
| 00:17:00 |
I can't see |
| 00:17:03 |
He owes money to everyone, |
| 00:17:05 |
and he still |
| 00:17:06 |
Life goes on, even for those |
| 00:17:08 |
who are divorced, |
| 00:17:10 |
Hello. Divorced, |
| 00:17:14 |
Hello, sweetheart. |
| 00:17:16 |
Yes, darling. |
| 00:17:20 |
Yes. Listen, darling, |
| 00:17:22 |
I told you not to call me |
| 00:17:24 |
I can't talk to you now. |
| 00:17:30 |
Hee hee hee! |
| 00:17:33 |
Yeah. Hold on just a second. |
| 00:17:35 |
Murray, it's your wife. |
| 00:17:41 |
I wish you were having |
| 00:17:43 |
Then she wouldn't bother me. |
| 00:17:45 |
Hello, Mimi. |
| 00:17:46 |
"What time are you |
| 00:17:48 |
"About 12:00, 12:30." |
| 00:17:49 |
About 12:00, 12:30. |
| 00:17:51 |
Why, what do you want, Mimi? |
| 00:17:53 |
A corned-beef sandwich |
| 00:17:55 |
Is she pregnant again? |
| 00:17:57 |
No, just fat. |
| 00:17:59 |
How could you hear? |
| 00:18:02 |
Who, Felix? |
| 00:18:05 |
What's wrong? |
| 00:18:07 |
You're kidding. |
| 00:18:10 |
No. How should I know? |
| 00:18:13 |
All right, all right, Mimi. |
| 00:18:16 |
Goodbye. |
| 00:18:19 |
What did I tell you? |
| 00:18:21 |
What do you mean, missing? |
| 00:18:23 |
He didn't go to work |
| 00:18:24 |
Nobody knows where he is. |
| 00:18:26 |
Mimi just spoke to his wife. |
| 00:18:28 |
Wait. No one |
| 00:18:30 |
Maybe he had an accident. |
| 00:18:32 |
They would have heard. |
| 00:18:33 |
If he's in a gutter, |
| 00:18:35 |
He's got 92 credit cards. |
| 00:18:37 |
When something happens to him, |
| 00:18:39 |
I'll call his wife. |
| 00:18:42 |
I thought he looked edgy |
| 00:18:46 |
Didn't you think he looked edgy? |
| 00:18:48 |
No. I thought you looked edgy. |
| 00:18:50 |
Frances. How are you? Oscar. |
| 00:18:52 |
Yeah. Yeah, I just heard. |
| 00:18:54 |
Tell her not to worry. |
| 00:18:56 |
You know women. |
| 00:18:57 |
Listen, Frances, the most |
| 00:19:00 |
Oh. She's not worried. |
| 00:19:02 |
Frances, do you have any idea |
| 00:19:05 |
You what? You're kidding. |
| 00:19:09 |
Oh, no. I...I didn't know. |
| 00:19:14 |
Yeah. No, he never told me. Yeah. |
| 00:19:18 |
All right. Yeah. |
| 00:19:21 |
and the minute I hear anything, |
| 00:19:24 |
All right. OK. Goodbye. |
| 00:19:40 |
You going to tell us, |
| 00:19:41 |
or do we hire |
| 00:19:48 |
They broke up. |
| 00:19:49 |
Who? |
| 00:19:51 |
Who? Felix and Frances who. |
| 00:19:55 |
The entire marriage is through. |
| 00:19:57 |
You're kidding. |
| 00:19:59 |
After 12 years? |
| 00:20:01 |
They were such a happy couple. |
| 00:20:03 |
He'll go to pieces. |
| 00:20:05 |
He'll try something crazy. |
| 00:20:07 |
That's all he talked about... |
| 00:20:09 |
He'll kill himself. |
| 00:20:10 |
You hear what I'm saying? |
| 00:20:12 |
He'll kill himself! |
| 00:20:13 |
Stop being a cop |
| 00:20:15 |
Where did he go? |
| 00:20:17 |
He went to kill himself. |
| 00:20:19 |
Are you serious? |
| 00:20:20 |
She said he didn't |
| 00:20:23 |
because the kids were sleeping. |
| 00:20:25 |
Why? |
| 00:20:26 |
Because Felix is a nut. |
| 00:20:28 |
Did he say, "I'm going |
| 00:20:30 |
I don't know. |
| 00:20:33 |
He left a note? |
| 00:20:34 |
No. He sent a telegram. |
| 00:20:36 |
A suicide telegram? |
| 00:20:38 |
Felix the nut, that's who. |
| 00:20:40 |
Can you imagine getting it? |
| 00:20:41 |
She even has to |
| 00:20:55 |
Maybe he's bluffing. |
| 00:20:58 |
All they want is sympathy. |
| 00:21:00 |
We got a guy who |
| 00:21:02 |
from the George |
| 00:21:03 |
You never can tell |
| 00:21:05 |
what a guy will do |
| 00:21:06 |
9 times out of 10, |
| 00:21:08 |
What about the 10th time? |
| 00:21:10 |
They jump. He's right. |
| 00:21:12 |
Not with Felix. |
| 00:21:15 |
He wears his seat belt |
| 00:21:21 |
If you're going to |
| 00:21:23 |
where's the safest place |
| 00:21:26 |
With your friends, right? |
| 00:21:28 |
He may be hysterical. |
| 00:21:32 |
Like they do |
| 00:21:34 |
What do we say? |
| 00:21:36 |
Nothing. |
| 00:21:37 |
Are you through |
| 00:21:39 |
He could have hung himself |
| 00:21:41 |
Vinnie, open the door. |
| 00:21:43 |
Remember, like we |
| 00:21:50 |
Oh, hi, Felix. |
| 00:21:52 |
Hi. |
| 00:22:02 |
Hey, fellas. |
| 00:22:03 |
Hi, Felix. |
| 00:22:05 |
Hi, Felix. |
| 00:22:15 |
How's the game going? |
| 00:22:16 |
Good. |
| 00:22:17 |
Very nice. |
| 00:22:18 |
Good. |
| 00:22:20 |
Good, good. |
| 00:22:29 |
Sorry I'm late. |
| 00:22:58 |
Any...Any ginger ale left? |
| 00:23:01 |
Ginger ale? |
| 00:23:04 |
I got some root beer. |
| 00:23:06 |
Nope. Felt like a ginger ale. |
| 00:23:09 |
Somehow, I don't feel |
| 00:23:16 |
tonight. |
| 00:23:21 |
What's the bet? |
| 00:23:22 |
You bet a quarter. |
| 00:23:25 |
Murray, what do you say? |
| 00:23:29 |
Murray? |
| 00:23:31 |
Murray! |
| 00:23:32 |
Murray. |
| 00:23:33 |
What? What? |
| 00:23:34 |
It's up to you. |
| 00:23:35 |
Why's it always up to me? |
| 00:23:36 |
It's not. What do you do? |
| 00:23:38 |
I'm in. |
| 00:23:40 |
Um...anybody |
| 00:23:43 |
Call about you? |
| 00:23:45 |
No...no, not that |
| 00:23:48 |
Why, were you expecting a call? |
| 00:23:50 |
Did anyone call for Felix? |
| 00:23:52 |
- No. |
| 00:23:54 |
Were you expecting a call? |
| 00:23:55 |
Uh, no, I was just asking. |
| 00:23:59 |
I raise a dollar. |
| 00:24:01 |
Costs me $1 .25 then, right? |
| 00:24:03 |
Right. |
| 00:24:04 |
I just thought somebody |
| 00:24:10 |
Uh, nobody called, nobody called. |
| 00:24:15 |
What does it cost me |
| 00:24:18 |
$1 .25. For God's sake, |
| 00:24:20 |
All right, take it easy, everyone. |
| 00:24:22 |
Calm down. |
| 00:24:23 |
He makes me nervous! |
| 00:24:25 |
You make everybody nervous! |
| 00:24:27 |
I'm sorry! I'll kill myself! |
| 00:24:28 |
Murray! |
| 00:24:29 |
Oh, sorry. |
| 00:24:35 |
That's a pretty view from here. |
| 00:24:38 |
No! It's only 11 floors, |
| 00:24:42 |
See, it's only 11 floors. |
| 00:24:46 |
It says 12, |
| 00:24:51 |
Gee, it's chilly in here. |
| 00:24:55 |
Isn't it chilly in here? |
| 00:24:57 |
Yes. Very chilly. |
| 00:24:59 |
Want to play, Felix? |
| 00:25:01 |
We're in no rush. |
| 00:25:03 |
We'll be here till 3:00, |
| 00:25:08 |
I don't know, I just... |
| 00:25:10 |
don't feel much |
| 00:25:17 |
What do you feel like doing? |
| 00:25:20 |
I don't know. |
| 00:25:24 |
I'll think of something. |
| 00:25:31 |
Where are you going? |
| 00:25:32 |
To the john. |
| 00:25:34 |
Alone? |
| 00:25:37 |
I always go alone. Why? |
| 00:25:40 |
No reason. |
| 00:25:42 |
You going to be in there long? |
| 00:25:46 |
Long as it takes. |
| 00:25:58 |
Are you crazy, letting him |
| 00:26:00 |
Suppose he tries |
| 00:26:01 |
How can he kill himself |
| 00:26:04 |
Razor blades, poison... |
| 00:26:05 |
That's the kids' bathroom. |
| 00:26:06 |
Maybe he could |
| 00:26:08 |
He could jump! |
| 00:26:09 |
Isn't there a window? |
| 00:26:10 |
It's only 6 inches wide. |
| 00:26:12 |
He could break it |
| 00:26:14 |
He could flush himself |
| 00:26:16 |
He's not going to try anything. |
| 00:26:18 |
Listen. Listen. |
| 00:26:26 |
He's crying. |
| 00:26:28 |
You hear that? He's crying. |
| 00:26:33 |
Isn't that terrible? For God's |
| 00:26:36 |
What do you say to a man |
| 00:26:39 |
He's coming. |
| 00:26:41 |
He's coming. |
| 00:26:47 |
Sit down! Sit down. |
| 00:27:09 |
Well, I... |
| 00:27:11 |
I guess I'll just be |
| 00:27:15 |
Oh, Felix. |
| 00:27:17 |
Felix, wait a minute. |
| 00:27:19 |
Fellas, I can't talk now. |
| 00:27:21 |
We're your best friends. |
| 00:27:23 |
Fellas, please, no! |
| 00:27:25 |
Talk to us. |
| 00:27:27 |
There's nothing to talk about. |
| 00:27:28 |
There's just nothing |
| 00:27:30 |
It's over. |
| 00:27:32 |
Let him go. |
| 00:27:34 |
Leave me alone. |
| 00:27:35 |
Stop him! |
| 00:27:37 |
Come back here! |
| 00:27:38 |
Get him! Get him! |
| 00:27:40 |
Stop, Felix! |
| 00:27:42 |
Felix! Felix! |
| 00:27:44 |
Break it down! |
| 00:27:49 |
Let's break the door down. |
| 00:27:51 |
Break it in. |
| 00:27:53 |
Felix! |
| 00:27:54 |
He jumped. |
| 00:27:56 |
What? |
| 00:27:57 |
Ow! |
| 00:27:59 |
[Felix] |
| 00:28:01 |
Oh, my back! |
| 00:28:02 |
My back! |
| 00:28:04 |
My back. |
| 00:28:07 |
My back. |
| 00:28:10 |
Ohh, the back! |
| 00:28:12 |
Ah! Oh! |
| 00:28:18 |
Ohh. |
| 00:28:19 |
Would you |
| 00:28:21 |
Ow. My stomach. |
| 00:28:22 |
What's |
| 00:28:24 |
Nothing's the matter |
| 00:28:26 |
I didn't take anything. |
| 00:28:29 |
What did you take? |
| 00:28:30 |
I didn't take anything. |
| 00:28:32 |
Don't tell Frances |
| 00:28:34 |
He took pills. |
| 00:28:36 |
Little green ones |
| 00:28:38 |
Don't call Frances. |
| 00:28:40 |
When did you |
| 00:28:42 |
A couple of hours ago. |
| 00:28:45 |
How many pills |
| 00:28:47 |
I can't remember. |
| 00:28:50 |
A whole bottle |
| 00:28:51 |
My God! |
| 00:28:53 |
We don't even |
| 00:28:55 |
He took |
| 00:28:56 |
Maybe they |
| 00:28:58 |
He could be |
| 00:29:00 |
Walk him around. |
| 00:29:02 |
Open his collar. |
| 00:29:04 |
Watch my back! |
| 00:29:05 |
Keep the circulation |
| 00:29:06 |
I'm all right. |
| 00:29:08 |
One doctor |
| 00:29:10 |
All the interns |
| 00:29:13 |
You didn't call |
| 00:29:14 |
Get his head under |
| 00:29:17 |
My arm! |
| 00:29:18 |
Watch my arm! |
| 00:29:20 |
No, please...Ow! |
| 00:29:22 |
We got to get |
| 00:29:27 |
The pills are out. |
| 00:29:38 |
12 years. |
| 00:29:40 |
Did you know |
| 00:29:43 |
Yes, Felix, |
| 00:29:45 |
It's over |
| 00:29:47 |
That's |
| 00:29:48 |
Maybe it was just a fight. |
| 00:29:50 |
You've had fights |
| 00:29:52 |
No, no. It's over. |
| 00:29:54 |
She's getting |
| 00:29:56 |
My cousin, she's |
| 00:29:58 |
Who am I |
| 00:29:59 |
It's OK, Felix. |
| 00:30:04 |
All right, let's not |
| 00:30:07 |
Let's break it up. |
| 00:30:09 |
Yeah. Don't |
| 00:30:10 |
I'm ashamed. |
| 00:30:12 |
Let's call it a night. |
| 00:30:21 |
It's all right, Felix. |
| 00:30:23 |
Don't tell anybody |
| 00:30:25 |
Now you promise me. |
| 00:30:26 |
I'm going to Florida |
| 00:30:28 |
That's nice. |
| 00:30:30 |
We were going |
| 00:30:32 |
next winter |
| 00:30:34 |
Now they're |
| 00:30:36 |
OK, |
| 00:30:38 |
Good night, Oscar. |
| 00:30:39 |
Maybe one of us |
| 00:30:41 |
That's OK. |
| 00:30:43 |
Suppose he tries |
| 00:30:45 |
He won't. |
| 00:30:46 |
How do you know? |
| 00:30:48 |
I'm not going to |
| 00:30:50 |
I'm very tired. |
| 00:30:51 |
You hear? |
| 00:30:53 |
He's had |
| 00:30:55 |
Good night. |
| 00:31:06 |
If anything happens, |
| 00:31:09 |
I'm three blocks away. |
| 00:31:11 |
I'd be here in five minutes. |
| 00:31:13 |
If you need me, |
| 00:31:15 |
I'll be at |
| 00:31:17 |
in Miami Beach. |
| 00:31:18 |
You'll be the first one |
| 00:31:25 |
Oscar. |
| 00:31:26 |
Yeah? |
| 00:31:28 |
Are you sure? |
| 00:31:29 |
I'm sure. |
| 00:31:31 |
Good night, Felix. |
| 00:31:34 |
I guarantee things will |
| 00:31:37 |
Take away his belt |
| 00:31:46 |
Oh, Felix, Felix, |
| 00:31:51 |
I know, I know, |
| 00:31:56 |
I know! |
| 00:32:00 |
Oscar...what am |
| 00:32:05 |
We'll talk |
| 00:32:07 |
Come on. Get something |
| 00:32:09 |
Like some |
| 00:32:11 |
The terrible thing |
| 00:32:13 |
I always loved her. |
| 00:32:15 |
How about |
| 00:32:17 |
or Vienna Fingers |
| 00:32:19 |
You like a nice box |
| 00:32:21 |
I got everything |
| 00:32:22 |
We had so much |
| 00:32:24 |
We had two beautiful kids, |
| 00:32:26 |
Whoever had more |
| 00:32:27 |
or a more |
| 00:32:29 |
Nobody. Nobody. |
| 00:32:30 |
It's 12 years of marriage |
| 00:32:32 |
Drains can be fixed. |
| 00:32:34 |
Get me a pot |
| 00:32:36 |
It's not fair. |
| 00:32:37 |
Damn it, |
| 00:32:40 |
What's the matter? |
| 00:32:42 |
My neck. My neck. |
| 00:32:43 |
I got a nerve spasm |
| 00:32:45 |
Just take it easy. |
| 00:32:47 |
I can't |
| 00:32:49 |
Don't touch me. |
| 00:32:51 |
I just want to see |
| 00:32:53 |
I get it from tension. |
| 00:32:56 |
I wouldn't be |
| 00:32:57 |
Aah! Oh! |
| 00:32:59 |
Relax, damn it, |
| 00:33:01 |
Don't yell at me. |
| 00:33:03 |
Does that hurt? |
| 00:33:05 |
No. It feels good. |
| 00:33:06 |
You make the same sounds |
| 00:33:09 |
I know. |
| 00:33:11 |
If it'll make you |
| 00:33:14 |
I think so, too. |
| 00:33:16 |
The first sign |
| 00:33:18 |
and I fall |
| 00:33:20 |
Don't stop. It feels |
| 00:33:22 |
If you don't relax, |
| 00:33:25 |
Look at this... |
| 00:33:26 |
The only man in the world |
| 00:33:30 |
Bend over. |
| 00:33:33 |
OK, now, |
| 00:33:34 |
If this hurts, |
| 00:33:36 |
'cause I don't know |
| 00:33:40 |
[Groaning] |
| 00:33:48 |
[Wheezing] |
| 00:33:56 |
What's that noise? |
| 00:33:58 |
[Wheezing] |
| 00:33:59 |
I can't breathe. |
| 00:34:02 |
Open the window. |
| 00:34:04 |
Wait. We're not opening |
| 00:34:08 |
We'll go downstairs |
| 00:34:10 |
[Wheezing] |
| 00:34:13 |
I wish I were like you, |
| 00:34:16 |
But I'm weak, |
| 00:34:17 |
and I admit it... |
| 00:34:20 |
You'll outlive today's |
| 00:34:22 |
You want a lick? |
| 00:34:23 |
You don't understand. |
| 00:34:25 |
I'm nothing without |
| 00:34:27 |
You don't... |
| 00:34:28 |
You're not nothing. |
| 00:34:30 |
You're a person. |
| 00:34:32 |
You're flesh and blood and bones |
| 00:34:35 |
You're not a fish. |
| 00:34:37 |
You're you. |
| 00:34:39 |
You walk and talk |
| 00:34:41 |
and eat |
| 00:34:42 |
and send |
| 00:34:44 |
No one else does that, |
| 00:34:46 |
You're the only one |
| 00:34:50 |
You've stained me. |
| 00:34:52 |
Chocolate ice cream stains. |
| 00:34:55 |
Ice cream |
| 00:34:57 |
Oh, vanilla and coffee |
| 00:34:59 |
Chocolate does. |
| 00:35:03 |
Felix, leave that alone. |
| 00:35:06 |
That won't come out. |
| 00:35:08 |
That's |
| 00:35:09 |
You ready |
| 00:35:11 |
Oh, hi! |
| 00:35:12 |
Hey, there's |
| 00:35:14 |
Come over here, |
| 00:35:15 |
For a tip, I'll leave |
| 00:35:17 |
Is it informal, |
| 00:35:20 |
Never mind. I can't |
| 00:35:22 |
How about five quick minutes |
| 00:35:24 |
Aah! Ha ha ha! |
| 00:35:26 |
If you bite, |
| 00:35:28 |
What will you have? |
| 00:35:29 |
A cup of hot tea |
| 00:35:32 |
Cup of hot tea for |
| 00:35:34 |
You going to |
| 00:35:37 |
Let's see. I just |
| 00:35:40 |
Give me a corned beef |
| 00:35:44 |
and a high-calorie |
| 00:35:46 |
Isn't she cuu-cute? |
| 00:35:49 |
Ha ha ha! |
| 00:35:50 |
Ha ha ha! |
| 00:35:52 |
Ha ha! |
| 00:35:54 |
how are you |
| 00:35:56 |
Exactly. It's very easy |
| 00:35:59 |
We're men. |
| 00:36:01 |
We can meet new people. |
| 00:36:03 |
Divorce is much |
| 00:36:05 |
She's alone with the kids, |
| 00:36:07 |
How is she going to |
| 00:36:09 |
at her age, |
| 00:36:11 |
I don't know. |
| 00:36:12 |
Maybe someone |
| 00:36:15 |
Can we stop |
| 00:36:16 |
Would you like me |
| 00:36:19 |
How do you wipe out 12 years |
| 00:36:21 |
You don't. |
| 00:36:24 |
You can't spend |
| 00:36:26 |
It annoys people |
| 00:36:28 |
Brrr! |
| 00:36:29 |
What's the matter? |
| 00:36:30 |
Too cold. |
| 00:36:32 |
Why do they always |
| 00:36:34 |
I'll probably |
| 00:36:36 |
You want me to ask |
| 00:36:38 |
You got to be careful |
| 00:36:40 |
I never let Frances |
| 00:36:42 |
Oh, she must be crazy |
| 00:36:44 |
Where are you going? |
| 00:36:46 |
Let's move |
| 00:36:52 |
[Sniff |
| 00:36:53 |
Oh, I knew it. |
| 00:36:56 |
[Sniffling] |
| 00:36:57 |
[Nasal Honking] |
| 00:36:59 |
What's the matter now? |
| 00:37:01 |
[Honk Honk] |
| 00:37:02 |
I got this...My ears |
| 00:37:04 |
I got this |
| 00:37:06 |
It's the change |
| 00:37:08 |
I always get it from |
| 00:37:10 |
Maybe it'll go away. |
| 00:37:11 |
No. It's all part |
| 00:37:13 |
I get them |
| 00:37:15 |
Only in the summer? |
| 00:37:17 |
In the winter, too. |
| 00:37:20 |
I'm allergic |
| 00:37:21 |
and pillows and curtains |
| 00:37:23 |
Can you imagine that? |
| 00:37:25 |
That used to drive |
| 00:37:27 |
For a while, she |
| 00:37:29 |
except my |
| 00:37:31 |
I was impossible |
| 00:37:33 |
[Very Loud |
| 00:37:46 |
Stop that, will you? |
| 00:37:48 |
I'm trying |
| 00:37:51 |
You create a pressure |
| 00:37:53 |
It opens up |
| 00:37:55 |
[Loud Honking] |
| 00:38:09 |
Did it open up? |
| 00:38:11 |
Uh-huh. I think |
| 00:38:18 |
Felix, will you |
| 00:38:20 |
Don't tinker. |
| 00:38:22 |
I know. |
| 00:38:23 |
I can't help it. |
| 00:38:28 |
A marriage counselor |
| 00:38:31 |
Wrote on my chart... |
| 00:38:35 |
It takes two to make |
| 00:38:38 |
You don't know |
| 00:38:42 |
I'm a compulsive cleaner... |
| 00:38:44 |
always cleaning up |
| 00:38:46 |
Then I'd go into the kitchen |
| 00:38:50 |
because I'm also |
| 00:38:56 |
I cooked myself |
| 00:38:59 |
Stupid damned idiot! |
| 00:39:01 |
Hey, Felix, |
| 00:39:03 |
You'll get |
| 00:39:04 |
I can't stand it anymore. |
| 00:39:12 |
I hate me. |
| 00:39:14 |
Oh, boy, |
| 00:39:17 |
You don't hate you. |
| 00:39:20 |
You think no one else |
| 00:39:22 |
I thought |
| 00:39:24 |
I am. That's why I can |
| 00:39:26 |
Because I love you |
| 00:39:28 |
Then why |
| 00:39:30 |
How can I help you |
| 00:39:32 |
You think you're impossible |
| 00:39:34 |
Ha ha! Blanche |
| 00:39:36 |
"What time |
| 00:39:38 |
I'd say, "I don't know. |
| 00:39:40 |
Then 3 A.M., I'd wake her up, |
| 00:39:44 |
I've been one of |
| 00:39:47 |
for the past |
| 00:39:48 |
We saved $8.50 |
| 00:39:50 |
I'm never home. |
| 00:39:52 |
I burn cigar holes |
| 00:39:54 |
drink like a fish, |
| 00:39:57 |
Then for our 10th |
| 00:39:59 |
to the New York Rangers/ |
| 00:40:02 |
where she got hit |
| 00:40:06 |
I still can't figure out |
| 00:40:09 |
That's how |
| 00:40:11 |
Come on. Let's get |
| 00:40:13 |
The muggers |
| 00:40:15 |
I don't think I can take |
| 00:40:22 |
In two weeks, |
| 00:40:24 |
How will I work? |
| 00:40:26 |
You'll go on |
| 00:40:28 |
They'll throw |
| 00:40:30 |
Tonight you'll |
| 00:40:32 |
Tomorrow you get |
| 00:40:33 |
and your |
| 00:40:35 |
and you move |
| 00:40:36 |
It's your apartment. |
| 00:40:38 |
There's eight rooms. |
| 00:40:39 |
We could go for a year |
| 00:40:41 |
Don't you understand? |
| 00:40:43 |
Why? I'm a pest. |
| 00:40:45 |
I know you're a pest. |
| 00:40:46 |
Why do you want me |
| 00:40:48 |
Because I can't stand |
| 00:40:49 |
For crying out loud, |
| 00:40:51 |
What do you want... |
| 00:40:53 |
Oscar, if you mean it, |
| 00:40:54 |
there's a lot |
| 00:40:57 |
I'm very handy |
| 00:40:59 |
I know how to fix things. |
| 00:41:00 |
I fixed my wife's |
| 00:41:02 |
I don't have a hair dryer. |
| 00:41:04 |
Well, let me do |
| 00:41:05 |
I got to do something. |
| 00:41:07 |
You can take my wife's |
| 00:41:10 |
You can sleep in here, |
| 00:41:12 |
I can cook, you know? |
| 00:41:14 |
I'm a terrific cook. |
| 00:41:16 |
You don't |
| 00:41:17 |
I got enough potato chips |
| 00:41:19 |
Two meals a day at home. |
| 00:41:22 |
We got to pay alimony, |
| 00:41:23 |
OK, Felix, |
| 00:41:25 |
You like leg of lamb? |
| 00:41:27 |
Oh, I got to call Frances. |
| 00:41:30 |
Hey, will you |
| 00:41:32 |
We'll get |
| 00:41:34 |
Don't drive me crazy |
| 00:41:36 |
[Telephone Ringing] |
| 00:41:37 |
Well, listen, |
| 00:41:41 |
if I do anything |
| 00:41:43 |
or gets on your nerves, |
| 00:41:45 |
don't be afraid |
| 00:41:46 |
It's your apartment. |
| 00:41:48 |
I don't want |
| 00:41:50 |
Hello. |
| 00:41:51 |
I'm not here. |
| 00:41:53 |
You haven't |
| 00:41:55 |
You don't know |
| 00:41:56 |
I didn't call. |
| 00:41:58 |
Yes, he's here. |
| 00:42:01 |
Yes. |
| 00:42:02 |
How's she sound? |
| 00:42:04 |
What's she saying? |
| 00:42:06 |
Does she want |
| 00:42:08 |
I don't want to |
| 00:42:10 |
He's going to |
| 00:42:11 |
Tell her I'm not coming back. |
| 00:42:14 |
I've taken just |
| 00:42:16 |
I'm human, |
| 00:42:18 |
She's not |
| 00:42:19 |
that's suffered |
| 00:42:21 |
Tell her that. |
| 00:42:22 |
Yes, he's fine. |
| 00:42:23 |
Don't tell her |
| 00:42:25 |
You heard how |
| 00:42:27 |
I was going to |
| 00:42:28 |
Why did you tell her |
| 00:42:30 |
Yes, I understand, |
| 00:42:31 |
Ask her if she wants |
| 00:42:33 |
Do you want |
| 00:42:34 |
Give me the phone. |
| 00:42:36 |
You don't want |
| 00:42:38 |
OK, good night, |
| 00:42:39 |
She doesn't want |
| 00:42:42 |
No. |
| 00:42:43 |
Why did she call? |
| 00:42:46 |
Wants to know when you're |
| 00:42:50 |
She wants to have |
| 00:42:53 |
Listen, Felix, |
| 00:42:55 |
Let's go to bed, huh? |
| 00:42:56 |
She didn't want |
| 00:42:58 |
I'll get you |
| 00:43:00 |
You like stripes, |
| 00:43:02 |
I want to kill |
| 00:43:04 |
and she's |
| 00:43:05 |
How about some slippers? |
| 00:43:09 |
I'm glad... because she finally |
| 00:43:12 |
made me realize it's over. |
| 00:43:14 |
It didn't sink in |
| 00:43:17 |
Felix, I want you to go to bed. |
| 00:43:19 |
My marriage is really over. |
| 00:43:21 |
Well, it doesn't seem so bad now. |
| 00:43:24 |
I think I can live |
| 00:43:26 |
Live with it tomorrow. |
| 00:43:28 |
In a few minutes. |
| 00:43:30 |
I got to rearrange my life. |
| 00:43:32 |
Felix, this is my apartment. |
| 00:43:34 |
I make up the bedtime. |
| 00:43:35 |
You don't understand, Oscar. |
| 00:43:37 |
I just want to be |
| 00:43:38 |
You go to bed. I'll clean up. |
| 00:43:40 |
You don't have to clean up. |
| 00:43:41 |
I can't sleep with a room like this. |
| 00:43:43 |
Go to bed. |
| 00:43:45 |
I'll cook you breakfast. |
| 00:43:47 |
Listen, Felix, you're not going... |
| 00:43:49 |
You're not going to |
| 00:43:51 |
like rolling up rugs, are you? |
| 00:43:53 |
10 minutes. That's all |
| 00:43:55 |
Just 10 minutes. |
| 00:43:58 |
He's going to do the dishes. |
| 00:44:05 |
Hey, Oscar! |
| 00:44:07 |
Yeah? |
| 00:44:08 |
Oscar, I'm going to be all right. |
| 00:44:11 |
It may take a few days. |
| 00:44:13 |
I'm going to be all right. |
| 00:44:15 |
Good. Good. |
| 00:44:17 |
Good night, Frances. |
| 00:44:27 |
Morning, Harry. |
| 00:44:29 |
Good morning. |
| 00:44:30 |
Hey, there's my bus. |
| 00:44:32 |
Right, Fel. |
| 00:44:41 |
Hey, Oscar, what will |
| 00:44:55 |
The batter, number nine, |
| 00:44:58 |
second base. |
| 00:45:05 |
[Umpire] |
| 00:45:08 |
Well, that's |
| 00:45:10 |
It's not over yet. |
| 00:45:12 |
Bases loaded, Mazeroski up, |
| 00:45:14 |
You expect the Mets |
| 00:45:18 |
What's the matter... |
| 00:45:19 |
You never heard |
| 00:45:22 |
[Telephone Rings] |
| 00:45:24 |
Hello. Uh-huh. |
| 00:45:28 |
Phone for you, |
| 00:45:30 |
I'll call them back. |
| 00:45:32 |
He says it's |
| 00:45:37 |
Yeah? |
| 00:45:39 |
Oscar, just called |
| 00:45:41 |
Don't eat any frankfurters |
| 00:45:43 |
I decided to make franks and beans |
| 00:45:46 |
[Crack] |
| 00:45:49 |
[Crowd Cheering] |
| 00:45:52 |
A triple play! |
| 00:45:55 |
The greatest fielding play |
| 00:45:57 |
and you missed it, Oscar! |
| 00:46:03 |
Are you crazy? |
| 00:46:05 |
Are you out |
| 00:46:07 |
Take your |
| 00:46:11 |
Oscar? Hey, Oscar. |
| 00:46:15 |
Os... |
| 00:46:18 |
[Siren] |
| 00:46:40 |
[Door Buzzer] |
| 00:46:47 |
I'm sorry |
| 00:46:48 |
Wipe your feet. |
| 00:46:49 |
What? |
| 00:46:51 |
If you know what's good for you, |
| 00:46:53 |
How's the game |
| 00:46:57 |
Hey, what happened |
| 00:47:00 |
It's been given the Good |
| 00:47:03 |
Deal the cards. |
| 00:47:05 |
Hey, Murray. |
| 00:47:06 |
Ante up. |
| 00:47:11 |
What are we |
| 00:47:12 |
Seven-card. |
| 00:47:14 |
[Felix Humming] |
| 00:47:20 |
A cold glass |
| 00:47:22 |
Thank you. |
| 00:47:23 |
Where's |
| 00:47:25 |
My what? |
| 00:47:26 |
Little round thing |
| 00:47:28 |
I think I bet it. |
| 00:47:30 |
Here. I knew I was |
| 00:47:33 |
Try to use |
| 00:47:35 |
Scotch, |
| 00:47:36 |
Scotch and water, |
| 00:47:38 |
I don't want |
| 00:47:40 |
but you know |
| 00:47:41 |
They leave little rings |
| 00:47:43 |
Little rings |
| 00:47:45 |
And we don't want |
| 00:47:47 |
And we have a nice, |
| 00:47:50 |
Gee, it smells good. |
| 00:47:52 |
Bacon, lettuce, and tomato |
| 00:47:54 |
on pumpernickel toast. |
| 00:47:55 |
You mean |
| 00:47:57 |
1, 2, 3. |
| 00:47:58 |
You put in toast |
| 00:48:00 |
If you don't like it, |
| 00:48:01 |
he'll make you meat loaf |
| 00:48:03 |
You know how I love to... |
| 00:48:05 |
I just vacuumed the rug. |
| 00:48:06 |
Mmm. Good. |
| 00:48:07 |
Hey, Oscar, |
| 00:48:09 |
Two 3 1/2 minute eggs |
| 00:48:12 |
Oh, double gin |
| 00:48:14 |
Be with you |
| 00:48:15 |
Who turned off |
| 00:48:17 |
What? |
| 00:48:18 |
The dehumidifier. |
| 00:48:19 |
Fellas, I asked you... |
| 00:48:22 |
I'm trying to get some of |
| 00:48:25 |
Murray, I'll give you |
| 00:48:27 |
I have had it |
| 00:48:29 |
In the last |
| 00:48:30 |
we've played |
| 00:48:32 |
I'm not giving up |
| 00:48:33 |
to watch cooking |
| 00:48:35 |
I can't breathe. |
| 00:48:36 |
is sucking everything |
| 00:48:38 |
Gee, this is delicious. |
| 00:48:40 |
I didn't have any supper. |
| 00:48:42 |
Perfect. And not |
| 00:48:44 |
It's really |
| 00:48:46 |
Cut me off |
| 00:48:47 |
Give me |
| 00:48:49 |
I don't want |
| 00:48:50 |
Martha and Gertrude |
| 00:48:52 |
That thing |
| 00:48:54 |
They'll find us |
| 00:48:56 |
Do something, Oscar. |
| 00:48:58 |
Don't come to me |
| 00:49:00 |
You get this |
| 00:49:02 |
I'm cooped up here |
| 00:49:06 |
Felix, get in here, will you? |
| 00:49:08 |
Coming! |
| 00:49:09 |
It was better before, |
| 00:49:11 |
with the garbage and the smoke. |
| 00:49:13 |
Did you notice what |
| 00:49:15 |
He cuts off the crusts. |
| 00:49:17 |
That's why it's so light. |
| 00:49:18 |
He only uses the soft green part |
| 00:49:20 |
It's really delicious. |
| 00:49:22 |
I'm going out of my mind. |
| 00:49:23 |
Felix, get in here! |
| 00:49:25 |
Forget it. I'm going home. |
| 00:49:27 |
The day his marriage busted up |
| 00:49:29 |
was the end of our poker game. |
| 00:49:31 |
Speed, you can't go now. |
| 00:49:33 |
You got no one to blame |
| 00:49:35 |
It's your fault. |
| 00:49:36 |
You're the one who stopped him |
| 00:49:40 |
He's right. That man |
| 00:49:42 |
Are you going to eat that pickle? |
| 00:49:44 |
I wasn't thinking of it. |
| 00:49:45 |
Unless you want it. |
| 00:49:47 |
Take it. I don't |
| 00:49:49 |
Deal the cards. |
| 00:49:50 |
What did you |
| 00:49:52 |
You want to play poker, |
| 00:49:54 |
You want to eat, |
| 00:49:56 |
Will you keep your pickles |
| 00:49:58 |
I'm losing $53 here, |
| 00:50:00 |
Felix! |
| 00:50:01 |
[Felix] |
| 00:50:02 |
Close the stinkin' restaurant |
| 00:50:04 |
We got a poker game |
| 00:50:06 |
Is it up to me... |
| 00:50:10 |
I don't think |
| 00:50:12 |
[Sniffing] |
| 00:50:13 |
What is |
| 00:50:15 |
Disinfectant? |
| 00:50:19 |
It's the cards. |
| 00:50:23 |
I'm getting |
| 00:50:24 |
I can't stand |
| 00:50:25 |
Wait a minute, Roy. |
| 00:50:27 |
I've been sitting here |
| 00:50:29 |
and ammonia |
| 00:50:31 |
Nature didn't intend for poker |
| 00:50:35 |
OK, |
| 00:50:37 |
Good. We got just enough |
| 00:50:39 |
Where is everybody? |
| 00:50:42 |
You got the nerve |
| 00:50:43 |
I've just been |
| 00:50:45 |
Well, I'm sorry. |
| 00:50:47 |
No. I guess no one |
| 00:50:50 |
I'd better be going, too. |
| 00:50:52 |
Bebe and I are driving to |
| 00:50:54 |
Just the two of you? |
| 00:50:56 |
You always do things |
| 00:50:58 |
We have to. |
| 00:51:00 |
You coming, Murray? |
| 00:51:02 |
Yeah. Why not? |
| 00:51:04 |
I got to stop off |
| 00:51:07 |
and a frozen eclair. |
| 00:51:09 |
Marriage. Huh! |
| 00:51:11 |
sure got the life, |
| 00:51:13 |
Yeah. Some life |
| 00:51:15 |
[Laughing] |
| 00:51:22 |
That's funny, |
| 00:51:24 |
They think we're happy. |
| 00:51:26 |
Ha ha ha! |
| 00:51:27 |
They really think we're |
| 00:51:30 |
Well, they don't know. |
| 00:51:31 |
They just don't know |
| 00:51:33 |
what it's like |
| 00:51:35 |
I'd be immensely grateful |
| 00:51:37 |
if you didn't |
| 00:51:39 |
Just a few things. |
| 00:51:41 |
Ha ha ha! |
| 00:51:43 |
I think they |
| 00:51:45 |
Well, they should |
| 00:51:47 |
Felix, will you leave |
| 00:51:49 |
I'm not through |
| 00:51:51 |
Don't you see |
| 00:51:53 |
Don't you |
| 00:51:55 |
Yes, I see it. |
| 00:51:57 |
I really don't think |
| 00:51:59 |
Felix, I'm telling you, |
| 00:52:02 |
Then tell me... |
| 00:52:04 |
The irony is that unless |
| 00:52:08 |
I'm going to kill you. |
| 00:52:13 |
What's wrong, Oscar? |
| 00:52:14 |
There's something wrong |
| 00:52:16 |
I don't think that |
| 00:52:18 |
in a big eight-room |
| 00:52:20 |
should have a cleaner house |
| 00:52:22 |
Wait. What are you |
| 00:52:24 |
I didn't say |
| 00:52:26 |
You don't have to |
| 00:52:27 |
What you do is worse. |
| 00:52:29 |
You're always |
| 00:52:30 |
You follow me around |
| 00:52:32 |
Last night, I found you |
| 00:52:33 |
washing the floor, |
| 00:52:35 |
and moaning, |
| 00:52:36 |
I didn't say |
| 00:52:38 |
Well, they were mine, |
| 00:52:39 |
I have feet, |
| 00:52:41 |
Should I climb |
| 00:52:43 |
No! Just walk |
| 00:52:45 |
Well, I appreciate that. |
| 00:52:47 |
I'm only trying to keep |
| 00:52:50 |
I didn't know |
| 00:52:52 |
Leave my pictures alone. |
| 00:52:53 |
I was just trying |
| 00:52:56 |
I want them uneven. |
| 00:52:58 |
Even up |
| 00:53:00 |
I was wondering |
| 00:53:03 |
How long what |
| 00:53:05 |
Before I got |
| 00:53:08 |
I didn't say |
| 00:53:10 |
Please don't do that. |
| 00:53:12 |
Same thing. You said |
| 00:53:14 |
No. You said you irritated me. |
| 00:53:16 |
What did you say? |
| 00:53:18 |
I don't remember. |
| 00:53:19 |
No difference. |
| 00:53:21 |
what I thought |
| 00:53:22 |
Don't repeat what |
| 00:53:24 |
Repeat what I said! |
| 00:53:26 |
My God, |
| 00:53:27 |
See? You did say it. |
| 00:53:29 |
I don't believe |
| 00:53:33 |
Oscar, I'm sorry. |
| 00:53:34 |
I don't know |
| 00:53:36 |
And don't pout. |
| 00:53:38 |
You want to fight, |
| 00:53:39 |
Fighting...I win. |
| 00:53:41 |
You're right. |
| 00:53:43 |
Everything you say about me |
| 00:53:45 |
Don't give in |
| 00:53:47 |
I'm not always right. |
| 00:53:49 |
You're right. I do that. |
| 00:53:51 |
Only this time, |
| 00:53:54 |
Oh, leave me alone. |
| 00:53:55 |
And don't sulk. |
| 00:53:58 |
I know, I know. Oh, damn me. |
| 00:54:02 |
Why can't I do just |
| 00:54:09 |
Why didn't you throw it? |
| 00:54:11 |
I almost did. Sometimes I get |
| 00:54:14 |
Then why don't you throw the cup? |
| 00:54:15 |
I'm trying |
| 00:54:17 |
Why are you trying |
| 00:54:18 |
What do you mean? Why? |
| 00:54:20 |
You were angry. |
| 00:54:21 |
Why didn't you throw it? |
| 00:54:23 |
Because I would still be angry |
| 00:54:24 |
and I would have a broken cup. |
| 00:54:26 |
How do you know? |
| 00:54:28 |
Why do you have to control |
| 00:54:30 |
every single thought |
| 00:54:32 |
Why don't you let loose |
| 00:54:34 |
Do something that you |
| 00:54:36 |
not what you think |
| 00:54:38 |
Stop controlling yourself, Felix! |
| 00:54:39 |
Relax! Get drunk! Get angry! |
| 00:54:41 |
Come on! Break the lousy cup! |
| 00:54:45 |
Ow! I hurt my arm! |
| 00:54:48 |
You're hopeless. |
| 00:54:49 |
You're a hopeless mental case. |
| 00:54:50 |
I shouldn't throw with that arm. |
| 00:54:53 |
Why don't you |
| 00:54:55 |
I'll leave your meals |
| 00:54:58 |
and slide in the newspapers. |
| 00:55:00 |
Oh, cut it out. I hurt easily. |
| 00:55:01 |
I can't help the way I am. |
| 00:55:03 |
You're not going |
| 00:55:05 |
I think all those tears |
| 00:55:07 |
is what gave you bursitis. |
| 00:55:15 |
Let me tell you something, Oscar. |
| 00:55:17 |
I may not be the easiest person |
| 00:55:19 |
in the world to live with, |
| 00:55:20 |
but you could have |
| 00:55:22 |
a whole lot worse. |
| 00:55:25 |
How? |
| 00:55:26 |
I put order in this house. |
| 00:55:28 |
For the first time in months, |
| 00:55:30 |
you're saving money, |
| 00:55:32 |
you're sleeping on clean sheets, |
| 00:55:34 |
you're eating hot meals |
| 00:55:36 |
and I did that. |
| 00:55:37 |
Yes, that's right. |
| 00:55:38 |
Then at night, after we've had |
| 00:55:40 |
your halibut steak |
| 00:55:44 |
I have to spend |
| 00:55:46 |
watching you Saran-Wrap |
| 00:55:48 |
Felix, when are you and I |
| 00:55:50 |
going to have some fun... |
| 00:55:51 |
get out of the house? |
| 00:55:53 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:55:54 |
We have fun. |
| 00:55:57 |
Fun? Listen, getting |
| 00:55:58 |
on channel two is not |
| 00:56:01 |
We don't always watch TV. |
| 00:56:03 |
Sometimes we read. Sometimes we talk. |
| 00:56:05 |
Yeah. I read, and you talk. |
| 00:56:07 |
I try to work, and you talk. |
| 00:56:08 |
I go to sleep, and you talk. |
| 00:56:10 |
We got your life |
| 00:56:11 |
but I'm still looking |
| 00:56:13 |
What are you saying... |
| 00:56:15 |
Nah. I'm not complaining. |
| 00:56:17 |
You got a lot to say. |
| 00:56:19 |
What's worrying me |
| 00:56:23 |
You're not going to |
| 00:56:26 |
You're not going to |
| 00:56:27 |
I'm going to cut up |
| 00:56:29 |
and make coleslaw for tomorrow. |
| 00:56:31 |
I don't want any coleslaw |
| 00:56:32 |
I just want to have |
| 00:56:34 |
I thought you liked my coleslaw. |
| 00:56:35 |
I love your coleslaw. |
| 00:56:37 |
I'll take your |
| 00:56:40 |
to work tomorrow, |
| 00:56:41 |
Let's go out of the house. |
| 00:56:43 |
All right, let's go. |
| 00:56:44 |
I only make it for you. |
| 00:56:46 |
If you wanted to go out, |
| 00:56:48 |
You think I like |
| 00:56:50 |
in the kitchen all day long? |
| 00:56:56 |
Strike! Ow! |
| 00:56:57 |
Hey, how about that? |
| 00:56:59 |
When you're right, you're right. |
| 00:57:00 |
A person has to get |
| 00:57:03 |
Hmm? |
| 00:57:04 |
Yeah. |
| 00:57:06 |
Bowling is wonderful exercise, Felix, |
| 00:57:09 |
but that's not |
| 00:57:11 |
the kind of relaxation |
| 00:57:13 |
I mean, the night was made |
| 00:57:15 |
Like what? |
| 00:57:16 |
Like unless I get to touch |
| 00:57:18 |
in the next two weeks, |
| 00:57:19 |
I'm in big trouble. |
| 00:57:21 |
Oh, you mean women? |
| 00:57:23 |
If you want to give it a name, |
| 00:57:25 |
That's funny. I haven't thought |
| 00:57:28 |
I fail to see the humor. |
| 00:57:31 |
Look, |
| 00:57:33 |
why don't we spend one night |
| 00:57:34 |
talking to someone |
| 00:57:36 |
You mean... |
| 00:57:38 |
That's what I mean. |
| 00:57:42 |
I can't. |
| 00:57:43 |
Why not? |
| 00:57:45 |
I'm just not ready for it yet. |
| 00:57:46 |
I don't want to discuss it. |
| 00:57:55 |
I intend to go out. |
| 00:57:57 |
I get as lonely |
| 00:57:59 |
but I've only been separated |
| 00:58:01 |
Give me a little time, will you? |
| 00:58:02 |
There isn't any time left. |
| 00:58:04 |
I saw TV Guide, and there's |
| 00:58:06 |
12 in the corner. |
| 00:58:08 |
What am I asking you, |
| 00:58:10 |
All I want to do |
| 00:58:12 |
with a couple of girls. |
| 00:58:14 |
Can't you go out yourself? |
| 00:58:16 |
I may want to come back |
| 00:58:18 |
If we walk in and find you |
| 00:58:20 |
it puts a damper on things. |
| 00:58:22 |
I'll take a pill and go to sleep. |
| 00:58:24 |
Why take a pill |
| 00:58:26 |
Because I'd feel guilty. |
| 00:58:28 |
If it doesn't make sense to you, |
| 00:58:30 |
it's the way I feel. |
| 00:58:31 |
Go ahead and shoot. |
| 00:58:40 |
Anyway, who would I call? |
| 00:58:42 |
I don't even know |
| 00:58:43 |
Leave that to me. |
| 00:58:45 |
Two sisters live in our building... |
| 00:58:47 |
One's a widow, |
| 00:58:49 |
They're a barrel of laughs. |
| 00:58:50 |
How do you know? |
| 00:58:52 |
I was trapped in the elevator |
| 00:58:54 |
Please, Felix. |
| 00:58:55 |
I can call them now. |
| 00:58:58 |
If it means that much to you... |
| 00:58:59 |
Atta baby. That's the Felix |
| 00:59:02 |
Wait. What do they look like? |
| 00:59:03 |
Don't worry. Yours is very pretty. |
| 00:59:11 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:59:12 |
We're all set. |
| 00:59:14 |
Which one do I get? |
| 00:59:15 |
The divorcee. |
| 00:59:17 |
Why do I get the divorcee? |
| 00:59:18 |
I don't care. |
| 00:59:20 |
I don't want the widow. |
| 00:59:22 |
I'm just doing this |
| 00:59:23 |
Take whoever you want. |
| 00:59:25 |
When they walk in, |
| 00:59:27 |
I just want some laughs. |
| 00:59:28 |
What are they... old... |
| 00:59:31 |
What's the matter with you? |
| 00:59:32 |
They're young. |
| 00:59:34 |
Where did you say you met them? |
| 00:59:37 |
Don't forget and suddenly |
| 00:59:39 |
It's Gwendolyn and Cecily! |
| 00:59:41 |
No Frances! |
| 00:59:43 |
Gwendolyn and Cecily! |
| 00:59:49 |
"Rule, Britannia, |
| 00:59:54 |
Supposing my kids see me? |
| 00:59:56 |
I'm going to night clubs |
| 00:59:59 |
I've got two American |
| 01:00:06 |
Where are we going to have dinner? |
| 01:00:08 |
What? |
| 01:00:09 |
Where are we going to have dinner? |
| 01:00:11 |
Anywhe...Anywhe... |
| 01:00:12 |
Anywhere you say. |
| 01:00:14 |
You mean a restaurant? |
| 01:00:16 |
We'll cut down on laundry. |
| 01:00:17 |
We don't wear socks on Thursdays. |
| 01:00:19 |
We can't afford restaurants. |
| 01:00:20 |
Here? |
| 01:00:22 |
I'll cook. We'll save $30, $40. |
| 01:00:24 |
What kind of a double date is that? |
| 01:00:25 |
Well, you'll be |
| 01:00:27 |
No, I won't. I'd put it up |
| 01:00:29 |
Once I get my potatoes in, |
| 01:00:31 |
I got all the time in the world. |
| 01:00:33 |
What happened |
| 01:00:35 |
Who are you calling? |
| 01:00:36 |
Frances. I want to get |
| 01:00:38 |
The girls will be |
| 01:01:01 |
I'd like fresh ground. |
| 01:01:02 |
That's fresh. |
| 01:01:04 |
That's not fresh. |
| 01:01:06 |
How much? |
| 01:01:07 |
4 pounds exactly. |
| 01:01:15 |
Is that one ripe? |
| 01:01:19 |
Not for tonight. Couple of days. |
| 01:01:21 |
Thank you. |
| 01:01:29 |
Hey. Beautiful. |
| 01:01:32 |
Beautiful! |
| 01:01:42 |
I'm home, dear! |
| 01:01:54 |
Something wonderful |
| 01:01:57 |
No, sir, no doubt about it, |
| 01:02:00 |
I am the luckiest man on Earth. |
| 01:02:02 |
Felix...Felix. |
| 01:02:04 |
Felix, listen. I got the wine. |
| 01:02:05 |
Batard-Montrachet. $6.25. |
| 01:02:08 |
You don't mind, do you, pussycat? |
| 01:02:09 |
We can walk to work |
| 01:02:12 |
No kidding, Felix. |
| 01:02:14 |
One little suggestion... |
| 01:02:15 |
a little bit with the lights |
| 01:02:17 |
and up very softly |
| 01:02:20 |
Hey, do you think Mozart |
| 01:02:27 |
What's the matter, Felix? |
| 01:02:29 |
I can tell from your conversation. |
| 01:02:31 |
All right, Felix. |
| 01:02:35 |
What is it? |
| 01:02:37 |
Let's start with |
| 01:02:39 |
What time? |
| 01:02:42 |
7:30? Try 8:00. |
| 01:02:44 |
All right, so it's 8:00. So? |
| 01:02:46 |
So you said you'd be home at 7:00. |
| 01:02:48 |
Is that what I said? |
| 01:02:50 |
"I'll be home at 7:00" |
| 01:02:52 |
So I said I'd be home at 7:00, |
| 01:02:54 |
So what's the problem? |
| 01:02:56 |
If you knew you were |
| 01:02:58 |
why didn't you call me? |
| 01:03:02 |
I couldn't call you. I was busy. |
| 01:03:04 |
Too busy to pick up a phone? |
| 01:03:05 |
I was in the office working. |
| 01:03:07 |
In the office working? |
| 01:03:09 |
I called your office at 7:00. |
| 01:03:11 |
It took me an hour to get home. |
| 01:03:12 |
I couldn't get a cab. |
| 01:03:13 |
Since when do they have cabs |
| 01:03:16 |
Hey, wait a minute, will you? |
| 01:03:18 |
I want to get this down |
| 01:03:19 |
because nobody's going to believe me. |
| 01:03:21 |
You mean now I got to call you |
| 01:03:23 |
if I'm coming home |
| 01:03:24 |
Not any dinner... |
| 01:03:26 |
Just the ones that I've |
| 01:03:28 |
since 5:00 this afternoon |
| 01:03:29 |
to help save you money |
| 01:03:31 |
to pay your wife's alimony. |
| 01:03:33 |
Felix, this is no time |
| 01:03:35 |
to have a domestic quarrel. |
| 01:03:37 |
We got two girls |
| 01:03:41 |
You mean you told them |
| 01:03:43 |
I don't remember what I said. |
| 01:03:45 |
7:30, 8:00...What the hell |
| 01:03:47 |
I'll tell you what the hell |
| 01:03:49 |
You told me they would |
| 01:03:51 |
You were going to be here at 7:00, |
| 01:03:52 |
help me with the hors d'oeuvres, |
| 01:03:54 |
then at 7:30 they get here, |
| 01:03:55 |
and we have drinks... cocktails. |
| 01:03:57 |
At 8:00 we're going to eat dinner. |
| 01:03:58 |
Well, it's now 8:00, |
| 01:04:00 |
The meat loaf is done! |
| 01:04:02 |
Now if we don't eat |
| 01:04:04 |
the whole damn thing |
| 01:04:06 |
God help me. |
| 01:04:08 |
Never mind helping you! |
| 01:04:09 |
Tell him to save my meat loaf! |
| 01:04:14 |
Can't you keep it warm? |
| 01:04:16 |
What do you think I am... |
| 01:04:18 |
I'm lucky I got it |
| 01:04:20 |
Wh-Wh-What am I going to do? |
| 01:04:22 |
I don't know. Keep |
| 01:04:24 |
Wh-Wh-What gravy? |
| 01:04:26 |
Don't you have any gravy? |
| 01:04:27 |
Where am I going to |
| 01:04:29 |
I don't know. |
| 01:04:30 |
I thought it comes |
| 01:04:32 |
When you cook the meat... |
| 01:04:33 |
You don't know what |
| 01:04:35 |
You just don't know, |
| 01:04:37 |
It doesn't come! |
| 01:04:39 |
Well, you asked my advice, so... |
| 01:04:40 |
Your advice? |
| 01:04:41 |
You didn't even know |
| 01:04:43 |
till I showed it to you! |
| 01:04:45 |
You want to talk to me, buddy, |
| 01:04:47 |
Spoon! You dumb ignoramus! |
| 01:04:49 |
That is a ladle! |
| 01:04:51 |
You did not know that's a ladle! |
| 01:04:53 |
Get ahold of yourself. |
| 01:04:55 |
You think it's so easy? |
| 01:04:56 |
The kitchen's yours, all yours. |
| 01:04:58 |
You go make a meat loaf |
| 01:04:59 |
that come a half-hour late. |
| 01:05:01 |
Listen to me. I'm arguing |
| 01:05:05 |
They're here... the dinner guests. |
| 01:05:06 |
I'll get a saw |
| 01:05:08 |
Listen! I want to tell you |
| 01:05:10 |
I won't take the blame |
| 01:05:12 |
Who's blaming you? |
| 01:05:14 |
I care! I take pride in what I do. |
| 01:05:17 |
You're going to explain to them |
| 01:05:19 |
OK. You can take a picture |
| 01:05:22 |
Now take off that stupid apron |
| 01:05:24 |
because I'm opening the door. |
| 01:05:25 |
This is the last time |
| 01:05:28 |
People like you don't even |
| 01:05:30 |
and that's why they have TV dinners. |
| 01:05:32 |
Are you through? |
| 01:05:33 |
Yeah. |
| 01:05:34 |
Then smile. |
| 01:05:38 |
Hi there. |
| 01:05:40 |
Hello. |
| 01:05:41 |
I hope we're not late. |
| 01:05:43 |
No, not at all. |
| 01:05:44 |
Perfectly! Come on in. |
| 01:05:47 |
Oh, it's lovely. |
| 01:05:49 |
Thank you. |
| 01:05:51 |
Oh, Felix, I'd like you to meet |
| 01:05:53 |
two elevator acquaintances of mine... |
| 01:05:58 |
Gwendolyn and Cecily. |
| 01:05:59 |
No, Cecily and Gwendolyn. |
| 01:06:01 |
Oh, terribly sorry! |
| 01:06:03 |
Cecily and Gwendolyn. |
| 01:06:04 |
Don't tell me... Robin? No. |
| 01:06:06 |
Cardinal? |
| 01:06:08 |
No. Wrong both times. |
| 01:06:10 |
Pigeon. Yes. |
| 01:06:11 |
Cecily and Gwendolyn Pigeon. |
| 01:06:13 |
The Pigeon sisters. |
| 01:06:15 |
Or as our friends in Chelsea |
| 01:06:18 |
used to call us, |
| 01:06:19 |
the Coo-coo Pigeon Sisters. |
| 01:06:22 |
I like that. |
| 01:06:23 |
Why, thank you. |
| 01:06:24 |
Girls, I'd like you to meet |
| 01:06:27 |
my roommate and our chef |
| 01:06:29 |
Mr. Felix Ungar. |
| 01:06:31 |
How do you do? |
| 01:06:32 |
How you do? |
| 01:06:37 |
Well, we did that beautifully. |
| 01:06:39 |
Shall we sit down, |
| 01:06:41 |
make ourselves comfortable? |
| 01:06:42 |
Yes, I'd love to. This is so nice. |
| 01:06:46 |
Perfume. |
| 01:06:48 |
Look. Shall I sit here? |
| 01:06:50 |
Sure, sure. Anyplace you like. |
| 01:06:51 |
Anyplace at all. |
| 01:06:53 |
Don't sit on the hors d'oeuvres. |
| 01:06:59 |
Well... |
| 01:07:06 |
Well, this is ever so nice, |
| 01:07:09 |
Yes. |
| 01:07:11 |
It's so much neater |
| 01:07:12 |
Do you have help? |
| 01:07:14 |
Yes. I have a man |
| 01:07:17 |
Well, aren't you the lucky one! |
| 01:07:27 |
Boy, this is really nice. |
| 01:07:31 |
You know, I was telling Felix |
| 01:07:33 |
how we happened to meet. |
| 01:07:35 |
Who's Felix? |
| 01:07:37 |
He is. |
| 01:07:38 |
Oh, yes, of course. |
| 01:07:39 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:07:41 |
You know, it happened to us |
| 01:07:43 |
What did? |
| 01:07:45 |
Stuck in the lift again. |
| 01:07:46 |
No kidding! |
| 01:07:48 |
And poor Mr. Kessler |
| 01:07:49 |
We were in there |
| 01:07:51 |
Is that right? |
| 01:07:53 |
Oh, nothing much, I'm afraid. |
| 01:07:55 |
Oh, honestly. |
| 01:07:57 |
Oh, Gwen. |
| 01:08:06 |
You're terrible. |
| 01:08:07 |
I know. |
| 01:08:13 |
Boy, this is really nice. |
| 01:08:15 |
And ever so much cooler |
| 01:08:18 |
Oh, yes. |
| 01:08:20 |
Oh, it's like equatorial Africa |
| 01:08:21 |
on our side of the building. |
| 01:08:23 |
Well, last night it was so bad, |
| 01:08:25 |
Gwen and I sat there |
| 01:08:27 |
cooling ourselves |
| 01:08:29 |
Can you imagine such a thing? |
| 01:08:31 |
Well, I'm working on it. |
| 01:08:33 |
Honestly! |
| 01:08:34 |
Honestly! |
| 01:08:36 |
But no, no... |
| 01:08:37 |
Actually, it's impossible |
| 01:08:40 |
Cece and I really don't know |
| 01:08:42 |
Why don't you sleep |
| 01:08:44 |
We haven't got one. |
| 01:08:45 |
Yeah, but we have. |
| 01:08:47 |
Oh, you! |
| 01:08:48 |
Ooh, I told about that one, |
| 01:09:08 |
Yeah, they say it may rain Friday. |
| 01:09:11 |
Oh? |
| 01:09:16 |
Well, that should |
| 01:09:19 |
Yes. I wouldn't be surprised. |
| 01:09:22 |
Although sometimes |
| 01:09:25 |
Yes, it does, doesn't it? |
| 01:09:26 |
Yes. Sometimes |
| 01:09:28 |
Yes, it can get... |
| 01:09:32 |
Dinner's served. |
| 01:09:34 |
No, it isn't. |
| 01:09:35 |
Yes, it is. |
| 01:09:36 |
No, I'm sure the girls |
| 01:09:38 |
a little cocktail first, |
| 01:09:40 |
Well, I wouldn't |
| 01:09:41 |
There you are. |
| 01:09:43 |
I don't know. What have you got? |
| 01:09:45 |
Meat loaf. |
| 01:09:47 |
She means to drink. |
| 01:09:48 |
We have everything, |
| 01:09:50 |
I mix in the medicine cabinet. |
| 01:09:55 |
What will it be? |
| 01:09:56 |
Oh... a double vodka. |
| 01:10:00 |
Oh, darling, please. |
| 01:10:02 |
My sister... Honestly, |
| 01:10:04 |
she watches over me |
| 01:10:06 |
Make it a small double vodka. |
| 01:10:09 |
Small double vodka... |
| 01:10:10 |
And for the beautiful mother hen? |
| 01:10:16 |
Well, um, I think I'd |
| 01:10:19 |
Um...what... I know, I know. |
| 01:10:22 |
I would like a double Drambuie |
| 01:10:25 |
unless, of course, |
| 01:10:26 |
you haven't got the crushed ice. |
| 01:10:28 |
I was up all night |
| 01:10:31 |
I shall return. |
| 01:10:32 |
Um, excuse... |
| 01:10:34 |
Oscar? |
| 01:10:35 |
Where are you going? |
| 01:10:37 |
To get the refreshments. |
| 01:10:38 |
Inside? |
| 01:10:40 |
You can finish |
| 01:10:42 |
Don't forget to look |
| 01:11:00 |
Well... |
| 01:11:15 |
Ha ha! |
| 01:11:23 |
Oscar tells me you're sisters. |
| 01:11:25 |
Yes, that's right. |
| 01:11:27 |
From England. |
| 01:11:28 |
Yes, yes, that's right. |
| 01:11:31 |
I see. |
| 01:11:32 |
We're not brothers. |
| 01:11:36 |
Yes. We know. |
| 01:11:38 |
Uh, yes... |
| 01:11:41 |
Although I am a brother. |
| 01:11:43 |
Oh, yeah. I have a brother. |
| 01:11:45 |
Lives in Buffalo. |
| 01:11:47 |
Yes. We know. |
| 01:11:49 |
You know my brother? |
| 01:11:50 |
No! No, we know |
| 01:11:52 |
that Buffalo is upstate in New York. |
| 01:11:54 |
Thank you. |
| 01:11:56 |
We've been there. Have you? |
| 01:11:58 |
No. Is it nice? |
| 01:11:59 |
Oh, it's lovely. |
| 01:12:01 |
Oh, isn't that interesting? |
| 01:12:06 |
Silly me. |
| 01:12:08 |
Thank you. |
| 01:12:22 |
How long have you two been |
| 01:12:24 |
in the United States of America? |
| 01:12:28 |
Oh, um...four? |
| 01:12:30 |
Almost four years now. |
| 01:12:32 |
Just visiting? |
| 01:12:34 |
No, no, no. We live here. |
| 01:12:37 |
Do you work here, too? |
| 01:12:38 |
Oh, yes, yes. We're secretaries |
| 01:12:39 |
for a health club. |
| 01:12:41 |
People bring us their bodies, |
| 01:12:43 |
and we do wonderful |
| 01:12:45 |
Actually, if you're interested, |
| 01:12:46 |
we could get you 10% off. |
| 01:12:48 |
Off the price, |
| 01:12:52 |
I couldn't help it. |
| 01:12:55 |
Oscar! |
| 01:12:56 |
Where's the drinks? Huh? |
| 01:13:07 |
And what field of endeavor |
| 01:13:08 |
are you engaged in? |
| 01:13:10 |
Uh, I write the news |
| 01:13:12 |
Oh, fascinating. |
| 01:13:14 |
Where do you get your ideas from? |
| 01:13:21 |
From, uh, uh... |
| 01:13:24 |
the news. |
| 01:13:26 |
Oh, yes, of course. |
| 01:13:28 |
Well, maybe you can |
| 01:13:30 |
in one of your news reports. |
| 01:13:31 |
Well, you do something spectacular, |
| 01:13:33 |
maybe I will. |
| 01:13:34 |
We've done spectacular things, |
| 01:13:37 |
but I don't think |
| 01:13:39 |
all over the telly, do you, Gwen? |
| 01:13:40 |
No |
| 01:13:42 |
Could you imagine? |
| 01:13:46 |
Oscar! |
| 01:13:50 |
This apartment is so big, |
| 01:13:52 |
sometimes you have to holler. |
| 01:13:55 |
Well, just you two baches live here? |
| 01:13:57 |
Uh, baches? |
| 01:14:00 |
Oh, you mean bach...bachelors? |
| 01:14:02 |
Oh, we're not bachelors. |
| 01:14:03 |
We're divorced. |
| 01:14:05 |
That is, Oscar's divorced, |
| 01:14:07 |
and I'm getting, uh... |
| 01:14:09 |
Oh, small world! |
| 01:14:12 |
We've cut the dinghy loose, |
| 01:14:14 |
Well, you couldn't have |
| 01:14:15 |
a better-matched |
| 01:14:17 |
I suppose not. |
| 01:14:20 |
Although technically I am a widow. |
| 01:14:22 |
I was divorcing my husband, |
| 01:14:25 |
but he died before |
| 01:14:32 |
Oh, I'm awfully sorry. |
| 01:14:34 |
Divorce is a terrible |
| 01:14:35 |
Oh, it can be |
| 01:14:37 |
if you haven't |
| 01:14:38 |
Now, that's true. |
| 01:14:40 |
Sometimes it can drag out for months. |
| 01:14:42 |
I was lucky. Snip, cut, |
| 01:14:44 |
Oh, but of course, |
| 01:14:46 |
that's all water |
| 01:14:52 |
I'm terribly sorry. |
| 01:14:53 |
I think I've forgotten your name. |
| 01:14:55 |
Felix. |
| 01:14:56 |
Of course. Felix. |
| 01:14:57 |
Like the cat. |
| 01:14:59 |
Cat. |
| 01:15:00 |
Oh, well, the Pigeons |
| 01:15:02 |
will have to beware |
| 01:15:04 |
That's terrible. Quit it! |
| 01:15:06 |
Here. |
| 01:15:10 |
That's the worst part |
| 01:15:14 |
Childhood sweethearts, were you? |
| 01:15:16 |
No. That's my little boy and girl. |
| 01:15:19 |
He's 7, and she's 5. |
| 01:15:21 |
Oh, sweet. |
| 01:15:24 |
They live with their mother. |
| 01:15:25 |
I imagine you must |
| 01:15:27 |
Oh, I can't stand |
| 01:15:30 |
but that's what happens |
| 01:15:32 |
When do you get to see them? |
| 01:15:34 |
Every night. |
| 01:15:35 |
I drop by on the way home, |
| 01:15:37 |
and I take them on weekends, |
| 01:15:38 |
and I get them on holidays... |
| 01:15:42 |
Well, when is it that you miss them? |
| 01:15:44 |
Whenever I'm not there. |
| 01:15:46 |
If they didn't have to |
| 01:15:48 |
I'd get up and make them breakfast. |
| 01:15:49 |
They love my French toast. |
| 01:15:51 |
Well, you certainly are |
| 01:15:53 |
Oh, it's Frances |
| 01:15:55 |
She's the little girl? |
| 01:15:57 |
No, she's the mother... |
| 01:15:58 |
What, the one you're divorcing? |
| 01:16:00 |
Yeah. She's done a terrific job |
| 01:16:01 |
in bringing them up. |
| 01:16:03 |
They always look so nice, so polite, |
| 01:16:05 |
speak beautifully. |
| 01:16:06 |
Never "yeah," always "yes." |
| 01:16:08 |
Oh, isn't that lovely? |
| 01:16:10 |
And she's done it all. |
| 01:16:11 |
She's...She's a wonderful woman. |
| 01:16:13 |
She's the kind of a woman who... |
| 01:16:15 |
What am I doing? |
| 01:16:17 |
You're not interested |
| 01:16:18 |
Why, nonsense! |
| 01:16:20 |
You've a right to be proud. |
| 01:16:22 |
You have two |
| 01:16:24 |
and a wonderful ex-wife. |
| 01:16:25 |
Here's Frances. See? |
| 01:16:28 |
she's pretty! |
| 01:16:30 |
Yeah. |
| 01:16:31 |
Isn't she pretty, Cecy? |
| 01:16:33 |
Oh, yes. Pretty, pretty girl. |
| 01:16:35 |
She is pretty. |
| 01:16:37 |
There's no one in the picture. |
| 01:16:39 |
I know. That's a picture |
| 01:16:41 |
We had a beautiful apartment. |
| 01:16:43 |
Oh, it is. It's pretty. |
| 01:16:44 |
It's very pretty. |
| 01:16:46 |
Those are lovely lamps. |
| 01:16:47 |
Oh, thank you. |
| 01:16:49 |
We got those in Mexico... |
| 01:16:50 |
on our honeymoon. |
| 01:16:54 |
Gee, I used to love |
| 01:16:56 |
That was my whole life... |
| 01:16:58 |
my wife and my kids |
| 01:17:05 |
Well... |
| 01:17:10 |
Does she have the lamps now, too? |
| 01:17:13 |
Oh, yes. |
| 01:17:15 |
I gave her everything... |
| 01:17:16 |
the children... |
| 01:17:18 |
the lamps. |
| 01:17:22 |
I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? |
| 01:17:24 |
I didn't mean to get emotional. |
| 01:17:28 |
Would you like |
| 01:17:34 |
Oh, please. |
| 01:17:36 |
Please, you mustn't be ashamed. |
| 01:17:39 |
I think...I think |
| 01:17:41 |
in a man to be able to cry. |
| 01:17:43 |
So do I. |
| 01:17:44 |
I think it's sweet... |
| 01:17:46 |
terribly, terribly sweet. |
| 01:17:48 |
Please, because you're |
| 01:17:50 |
No! No, it's |
| 01:17:53 |
speak so highly of the woman |
| 01:17:57 |
Oh, dear. |
| 01:17:59 |
Now...Now you've got me thinking |
| 01:18:03 |
Oh, Gwen, please. |
| 01:18:04 |
Well, it was a good marriage |
| 01:18:06 |
at first, wasn't it? |
| 01:18:07 |
Yes. |
| 01:18:09 |
Everybody said so, didn't they? |
| 01:18:11 |
Not like you and George. |
| 01:18:14 |
No. That's right. |
| 01:18:15 |
George and I were never happy... |
| 01:18:18 |
not for one single, solitary day. |
| 01:18:23 |
This is ridiculous! |
| 01:18:25 |
I don't know what brought this on. |
| 01:18:26 |
I was feeling so good |
| 01:18:29 |
I haven't cried since I was 14. |
| 01:18:36 |
Is everybody happy? |
| 01:18:46 |
What the hell happened? |
| 01:18:48 |
Nothing, nothing. |
| 01:18:49 |
Nothing? I'm gone three minutes, |
| 01:18:50 |
and I walk into a funeral parlor. |
| 01:18:52 |
What did you say to them? |
| 01:18:53 |
I didn't say anything to them. |
| 01:18:56 |
I can't leave you alone |
| 01:18:58 |
If you really want to cry, |
| 01:19:00 |
and look at your meat loaf. |
| 01:19:01 |
Well, why didn't you call me? |
| 01:19:05 |
Girls, I'm terribly sorry... |
| 01:19:06 |
really I am. |
| 01:19:08 |
I forgot to warn you |
| 01:19:10 |
He's a walking soap opera! |
| 01:19:12 |
I think he's the dearest thing |
| 01:19:15 |
I've ever met. |
| 01:19:17 |
He's so sensitive, |
| 01:19:19 |
so fragile. |
| 01:19:20 |
I just want to |
| 01:19:23 |
and take care of him. |
| 01:19:34 |
I think when he comes out |
| 01:19:36 |
you may have to. |
| 01:19:39 |
We better get some |
| 01:19:42 |
No, wait, Felix. |
| 01:19:45 |
Maybe we can salvage it. |
| 01:19:47 |
Yeah, let's see it. |
| 01:19:49 |
See it? See what? |
| 01:19:52 |
I'd throw it down the incinerator, |
| 01:19:53 |
but it won't burn twice. |
| 01:19:58 |
l...l...I've got |
| 01:20:01 |
Why don't we eat up at our place? |
| 01:20:03 |
That's a wonderful idea! |
| 01:20:05 |
That is, if you don't |
| 01:20:07 |
I'm crazy about potluck! |
| 01:20:08 |
Of course, |
| 01:20:10 |
You'll have to take off |
| 01:20:11 |
We can always open up |
| 01:20:13 |
Give us five minutes |
| 01:20:15 |
Five minutes? |
| 01:20:16 |
Can't you make it four? |
| 01:20:19 |
Ooh, don't forget the wine. |
| 01:20:20 |
How could I forget the wine? |
| 01:20:22 |
And Felix. |
| 01:20:24 |
No. I won't forget Felix. |
| 01:20:30 |
You bet your sweet |
| 01:20:34 |
Felix, baby, I love you! |
| 01:20:36 |
You just overcooked us |
| 01:20:38 |
into one hell of a night. |
| 01:20:40 |
Get the ice bucket. |
| 01:20:43 |
I'm not going. |
| 01:20:46 |
I said I'm not going. |
| 01:20:48 |
Are you out of your mind? |
| 01:20:50 |
You know what's |
| 01:20:53 |
You've just been invited |
| 01:20:54 |
to spend the evening |
| 01:20:56 |
in a two-bedroom hothouse |
| 01:20:57 |
with the Coo-coo Pigeon Sisters. |
| 01:20:59 |
What do you mean you're not going? |
| 01:21:00 |
I've nothing left to say to them. |
| 01:21:03 |
I already told them |
| 01:21:05 |
Felix, they are crazy about you. |
| 01:21:08 |
I'm telling you, they told me. |
| 01:21:10 |
One of them wants to wrap you up |
| 01:21:13 |
and make a bundle out of you. |
| 01:21:15 |
You're doing better than I am. |
| 01:21:17 |
Don't you understand? |
| 01:21:18 |
I cried in front of two women. |
| 01:21:21 |
They loved it. |
| 01:21:23 |
I'm thinking of getting hysterical. |
| 01:21:24 |
Don't you see? |
| 01:21:26 |
I'm still emotionally tied |
| 01:21:27 |
to Frances |
| 01:21:29 |
I'm going to scrub the pots |
| 01:21:31 |
and wash my hair. |
| 01:21:32 |
Your pots and your hair can wait. |
| 01:21:35 |
You're coming upstairs with me. |
| 01:21:37 |
I'm not going. |
| 01:21:39 |
What am I going to do up there |
| 01:21:42 |
with two girls? |
| 01:21:43 |
Felix, if I miss this opportunity, |
| 01:21:45 |
I'll never forgive you. |
| 01:21:50 |
You're not going to |
| 01:21:51 |
make any effort to change? |
| 01:21:53 |
This is the person |
| 01:21:55 |
until the day you die? |
| 01:21:59 |
We are what we are. |
| 01:22:23 |
It's 12 floors... not 11! |
| 01:25:52 |
Hello, sports fans. |
| 01:25:53 |
Speculation is running high |
| 01:25:56 |
as to the possibility |
| 01:25:58 |
the great right-hander |
| 01:26:00 |
for three unknown young players |
| 01:26:02 |
and an undetermined |
| 01:26:04 |
Moonjean has racked up 10 wins |
| 01:26:07 |
so far this year, |
| 01:26:09 |
which is, incidentally, |
| 01:26:12 |
It looks to this reporter |
| 01:26:14 |
that the Yankee office |
| 01:26:16 |
by many protests... |
| 01:27:04 |
How long will this go on? |
| 01:27:06 |
You talking to me? |
| 01:27:07 |
Yeah, I'm talking to you. |
| 01:27:09 |
What do you want to know? |
| 01:27:10 |
I want to know if you'll spend |
| 01:27:12 |
the rest of your life |
| 01:27:14 |
not talking to me. |
| 01:27:15 |
You had your chance |
| 01:27:19 |
I begged you to come |
| 01:27:21 |
Here. Here's a key |
| 01:27:24 |
You stick to the hallway |
| 01:27:26 |
and you won't get hurt. |
| 01:27:28 |
Meaning what? |
| 01:27:29 |
If you want to live here, |
| 01:27:31 |
I don't want to see you, |
| 01:27:32 |
I don't want to hear you, |
| 01:27:34 |
I don't want to smell your cooking. |
| 01:27:35 |
Kindly remove that spaghetti |
| 01:27:37 |
from my poker table. |
| 01:27:42 |
What the hell is so funny? |
| 01:27:44 |
It's not spaghetti. |
| 01:27:57 |
Now it's garbage. |
| 01:28:11 |
You're crazy. |
| 01:28:12 |
I'm a neurotic nut, |
| 01:28:15 |
That's really funny |
| 01:28:17 |
coming from a fruitcake like you. |
| 01:28:19 |
I'm not cleaning that up. |
| 01:28:21 |
Is that a promise? |
| 01:28:23 |
Did you hear what I said? |
| 01:28:25 |
I'm not cleaning that up. |
| 01:28:26 |
That's your mess. Look at it. |
| 01:28:28 |
It's hanging all over the wall. |
| 01:28:33 |
I like it. |
| 01:28:36 |
You'd just let it hang there, |
| 01:28:38 |
Just let it hang |
| 01:28:40 |
until it got all |
| 01:28:43 |
It's disgusting. |
| 01:28:44 |
Well, I'm cleaning it. |
| 01:28:46 |
Leave that alone. |
| 01:28:48 |
You leave that alone. |
| 01:28:49 |
You touch one strand |
| 01:28:51 |
and I'm going to punch you |
| 01:28:53 |
right in your sinuses. |
| 01:28:54 |
Hey, Oscar, come on, now. |
| 01:28:56 |
Now, listen, |
| 01:28:58 |
why don't you just |
| 01:29:00 |
Go to your room. |
| 01:29:02 |
I said go to your room. |
| 01:29:03 |
Let's just all settle down. |
| 01:29:08 |
I'm warning you, Felix. |
| 01:29:10 |
You want to live |
| 01:29:12 |
you better keep |
| 01:29:14 |
and lock your windows, too. |
| 01:29:47 |
All right, Oscar. |
| 01:29:52 |
What's happened? |
| 01:29:53 |
Something made you |
| 01:29:55 |
Is it something I said |
| 01:29:57 |
Nothing you said. |
| 01:29:59 |
Don't start me, Felix. |
| 01:30:00 |
Is it the cooking |
| 01:30:03 |
I can tell you |
| 01:30:06 |
It's the cooking, |
| 01:30:08 |
It's the talking in your sleep. |
| 01:30:10 |
It's those moose calls |
| 01:30:12 |
at 2:00 in the morning. |
| 01:30:17 |
I can't take it anymore, Felix. |
| 01:30:19 |
I'm cracking up. |
| 01:30:21 |
Everything you do irritates me, |
| 01:30:23 |
and when you're not here, |
| 01:30:25 |
the things you'll do |
| 01:30:27 |
You leave me little notes |
| 01:30:30 |
I've told you 158 times |
| 01:30:32 |
I cannot stand little notes |
| 01:30:35 |
"We are all out |
| 01:30:37 |
Took me three hours |
| 01:30:40 |
that F.U. was Felix Ungar. |
| 01:30:52 |
It's not your fault, Felix. |
| 01:30:53 |
It's a rotten combination, |
| 01:30:56 |
Yeah. I get the picture. |
| 01:30:58 |
I haven't even |
| 01:31:00 |
I got a typewritten |
| 01:31:03 |
of the 10 most |
| 01:31:05 |
that drive me berserk, |
| 01:31:08 |
but last night was the topper. |
| 01:31:11 |
Oh, brother, that was the topper. |
| 01:31:12 |
That was the ever-loving |
| 01:31:16 |
I had it all set up |
| 01:31:17 |
with that English Betty Boop |
| 01:31:20 |
and I wind up drinking tea |
| 01:31:21 |
and telling them |
| 01:31:23 |
I warned you |
| 01:31:24 |
in the first place. |
| 01:31:26 |
Don't point that finger at me |
| 01:31:27 |
unless you intend to use it. |
| 01:31:29 |
Get off of my back, Oscar! |
| 01:31:30 |
What's this? |
| 01:31:32 |
I haven't seen you |
| 01:31:33 |
since the day |
| 01:31:35 |
in your pancake batter. |
| 01:31:36 |
Oscar, you're asking |
| 01:31:38 |
I don't want to say, |
| 01:31:40 |
I think you ought to hear it. |
| 01:31:41 |
You got anything on your chest |
| 01:31:44 |
you better get it off. |
| 01:31:45 |
All right! |
| 01:31:48 |
You're a wonderful guy, Oscar. |
| 01:31:50 |
You've done everything for me. |
| 01:31:52 |
If it weren't for you, |
| 01:31:53 |
I don't know what |
| 01:31:55 |
You gave me |
| 01:31:57 |
and something |
| 01:31:59 |
I'm never going to |
| 01:32:01 |
You're tops with me. |
| 01:32:07 |
If I've just been told off, |
| 01:32:09 |
I think I may have missed it. |
| 01:32:11 |
It's coming. |
| 01:32:13 |
You are also one of |
| 01:32:15 |
in the world. |
| 01:32:17 |
I see. |
| 01:32:18 |
Totally unreliable, undependable, |
| 01:32:20 |
Keep going. I think you're hot. |
| 01:32:22 |
No. That's it. |
| 01:32:24 |
How do you like that? |
| 01:32:25 |
Good. Good! |
| 01:32:27 |
Because now... |
| 01:32:29 |
I'm going to tell you off. |
| 01:32:31 |
For six months, |
| 01:32:33 |
I've lived alone |
| 01:32:35 |
all alone in eight big rooms. |
| 01:32:37 |
I was dejected, despondent, |
| 01:32:39 |
and then you moved in... |
| 01:32:42 |
my closest and dearest friend. |
| 01:32:45 |
And after three weeks |
| 01:32:48 |
I'm about to have |
| 01:32:50 |
Do me a favor, will you, Felix? |
| 01:32:52 |
Move into the kitchen. |
| 01:32:54 |
Live with your pots, pans, |
| 01:32:57 |
When you want to come out, |
| 01:33:00 |
just ring a bell, |
| 01:33:03 |
I'm asking you nicely, Felix, |
| 01:33:05 |
as a friend... |
| 01:33:12 |
Walk on the paper, will you? |
| 01:33:23 |
Hey, stay away from me, Oscar. |
| 01:33:26 |
Oscar! Oscar, |
| 01:33:28 |
Oscar! |
| 01:33:30 |
This is the day |
| 01:33:32 |
Oscar! |
| 01:33:34 |
No! Oscar! |
| 01:33:42 |
Oscar! |
| 01:33:45 |
You hit me, |
| 01:33:46 |
you've got yourself |
| 01:33:49 |
Those dogs should be on a leash. |
| 01:33:56 |
Oscar, can I speak to you calmly? |
| 01:33:58 |
First you'll bleed. Then we'll talk. |
| 01:34:01 |
I got you now, Felix. |
| 01:34:03 |
There's no place |
| 01:34:05 |
Are you out of your mind? |
| 01:34:06 |
If you want to fight, |
| 01:34:08 |
I don't want you |
| 01:34:10 |
I don't want you |
| 01:34:13 |
my hall, or my building. |
| 01:34:14 |
I don't want you at all. |
| 01:34:16 |
What? |
| 01:34:17 |
It's over, Felix... |
| 01:34:19 |
We're getting an annulment. |
| 01:34:20 |
I don't want to live with |
| 01:34:22 |
I want you to |
| 01:34:25 |
You mean actually move out? |
| 01:34:28 |
Actually, physically, immediately. |
| 01:34:29 |
You mean move out this minute? |
| 01:34:31 |
Yes. If you can do it sooner, |
| 01:34:33 |
I'd appreciate it. |
| 01:34:39 |
You know, I've got a good mind |
| 01:34:44 |
Why doesn't he hear me? |
| 01:34:46 |
I know I'm talking. |
| 01:34:49 |
If you really want |
| 01:34:51 |
Then go! |
| 01:34:53 |
I want you to go, so go! |
| 01:34:55 |
When are you going? |
| 01:34:57 |
You're in a bigger hurry |
| 01:34:58 |
than Frances was. |
| 01:35:00 |
Take as much time |
| 01:35:02 |
I want you to follow |
| 01:35:04 |
In other words, |
| 01:35:06 |
Not in other words. |
| 01:35:08 |
Those are the perfect ones! |
| 01:35:10 |
All right. I just wanted |
| 01:35:13 |
Let it be on your conscience. |
| 01:35:15 |
Let what be on my conscience? |
| 01:35:16 |
I'm perfectly willing to stay here |
| 01:35:18 |
and clear the air |
| 01:35:20 |
but you refuse, right? |
| 01:35:22 |
Right. I'm tired |
| 01:35:24 |
That's why I want you to leave. |
| 01:35:26 |
Remember, what happens to me |
| 01:35:29 |
Let it be on your head. |
| 01:35:30 |
Let what be on my head? |
| 01:35:32 |
Why can't you get thrown out |
| 01:35:34 |
like a decent human being? |
| 01:35:36 |
Let what be on my head? |
| 01:35:38 |
Huh? |
| 01:35:51 |
I'm leaving now |
| 01:35:52 |
according to your wishes and desires. |
| 01:35:55 |
Either I'll come back |
| 01:35:56 |
and get the rest of my clothes, |
| 01:35:58 |
or someone else will. |
| 01:36:02 |
You are not going anyplace |
| 01:36:06 |
Take what back? |
| 01:36:08 |
"Let it be on your head." |
| 01:36:10 |
What the hell is that? |
| 01:36:11 |
The curse of the cat people? |
| 01:36:13 |
I can't leave if you're |
| 01:36:16 |
Is this how you left |
| 01:36:18 |
No wonder she wanted |
| 01:36:20 |
I'll have yours dipped in bronze. |
| 01:36:22 |
Would you get out |
| 01:36:50 |
Uh, where will you go? |
| 01:36:54 |
Oh, come on, Oscar. |
| 01:36:56 |
You're not really |
| 01:37:02 |
All right, Felix, you win. |
| 01:37:04 |
We'll try to |
| 01:37:05 |
Come back, Felix. |
| 01:37:07 |
Felix! |
| 01:37:09 |
Felix, come back! |
| 01:37:11 |
Don't leave me like this! |
| 01:37:14 |
I'm telling you, |
| 01:37:16 |
I know Felix. |
| 01:37:18 |
You mean, you just |
| 01:37:20 |
That's right. I threw him out. |
| 01:37:22 |
It was my decision. |
| 01:37:23 |
Let it be on my head. |
| 01:37:25 |
Let what be on your head? |
| 01:37:27 |
I don't know. |
| 01:37:28 |
He's out there somewhere. |
| 01:37:30 |
He was driving us |
| 01:37:31 |
and his ashtrays. |
| 01:37:33 |
All of you said so. |
| 01:37:34 |
We didn't say kick him out, Oscar. |
| 01:37:36 |
I did it for us! |
| 01:37:38 |
Us? |
| 01:37:39 |
Yes. Do you know |
| 01:37:41 |
for next Friday night's poker game |
| 01:37:43 |
as a change of pace? |
| 01:37:44 |
What? |
| 01:37:46 |
A luau. A Hawaian luau... |
| 01:37:47 |
roast pork, fried rice, spare ribs. |
| 01:37:49 |
They don't play |
| 01:37:51 |
He's out there alone. |
| 01:37:53 |
I'm really worried. |
| 01:37:54 |
Why don't we |
| 01:37:56 |
How are we going to find him? |
| 01:37:58 |
It's a big city. |
| 01:38:00 |
We'll look for a guy |
| 01:38:02 |
who's crying. |
| 01:38:03 |
Come on. |
| 01:38:17 |
They won't like this |
| 01:38:18 |
You're not supposed to look |
| 01:38:20 |
for a missing person |
| 01:38:22 |
So take it out of my taxes. |
| 01:38:24 |
We'll try his apartment first. |
| 01:38:33 |
Frances hasn't heard from him |
| 01:38:34 |
since he called to get her recipe |
| 01:38:36 |
for meat loaf. |
| 01:38:38 |
Where to now? |
| 01:38:39 |
Cruise along Riverside Drive. |
| 01:38:41 |
This is crazy, Oscar. |
| 01:38:43 |
Why don't we call the cops? |
| 01:38:45 |
Drive the car. |
| 01:38:55 |
Hey, what are you doing, Murray? |
| 01:38:57 |
Off-duty arrest. |
| 01:39:00 |
Caught them gambling. |
| 01:39:09 |
We already combed |
| 01:39:11 |
Why don't we go back |
| 01:39:14 |
Because I'm afraid |
| 01:39:15 |
The poor guy. |
| 01:39:17 |
Will you stop saying |
| 01:39:19 |
What about me? |
| 01:39:20 |
I got this curse on my head. |
| 01:39:22 |
Let's go back, Oscar. |
| 01:39:24 |
He'll kill himself |
| 01:39:26 |
Then his ghost will follow me |
| 01:39:28 |
around the apartment, |
| 01:39:30 |
haunting and cleaning, |
| 01:39:34 |
Come on, Oscar. |
| 01:39:36 |
It will take your mind off Felix. |
| 01:39:38 |
Stop mentioning his name. |
| 01:39:41 |
I know what you're |
| 01:39:43 |
but you're wrong. |
| 01:39:44 |
It's his fault... not mine. |
| 01:39:46 |
He shouldn't have moved in here |
| 01:39:47 |
in the first place. |
| 01:39:49 |
He should have stayed with Blanche. |
| 01:39:50 |
Why should he? |
| 01:39:52 |
Because it's his wife. |
| 01:39:53 |
No. Blanche is your wife. |
| 01:39:55 |
His wife is Frances. |
| 01:39:56 |
What are you... |
| 01:39:59 |
The game is over. Give me my cards. |
| 01:40:01 |
I don't want to play anymore. |
| 01:40:03 |
I won't worry about him. |
| 01:40:05 |
He's not worrying about me. |
| 01:40:06 |
He's in the streets somewhere |
| 01:40:08 |
crying and sulking |
| 01:40:10 |
I think I smell spaghetti. |
| 01:40:12 |
It's linguini. |
| 01:40:13 |
Don't you care |
| 01:40:15 |
Thought you weren't worried. |
| 01:40:16 |
I'm not worried, damn it. |
| 01:40:19 |
That's him. I'll bet that's him. |
| 01:40:21 |
Open the door. |
| 01:40:23 |
Everybody play cards |
| 01:40:25 |
Just deal them out. |
| 01:40:28 |
OK, open the door. |
| 01:40:32 |
Hello. |
| 01:40:34 |
How do you do? |
| 01:40:36 |
Hello there, Cecily. |
| 01:40:38 |
Gwendolyn. |
| 01:40:39 |
Please, gentlemen, don't stand up. |
| 01:40:41 |
May I see you |
| 01:40:43 |
Certainly. Certainly, Gwendolyn. |
| 01:40:45 |
What's the matter? |
| 01:40:50 |
I think you know. |
| 01:40:52 |
I've come for Felix's things. |
| 01:41:01 |
You mean my Felix? |
| 01:41:03 |
Oh, yes. Yes. Felix Ungar... |
| 01:41:05 |
that sweet, tortured man |
| 01:41:07 |
who's in my flat at this moment |
| 01:41:08 |
pouring his heart |
| 01:41:11 |
Gwen? |
| 01:41:12 |
Gwen, Felix doesn't want to stay. |
| 01:41:15 |
Please tell him to stay. |
| 01:41:16 |
Please, girls, this is embarrassing. |
| 01:41:18 |
I can go to a hotel. |
| 01:41:20 |
Nonsense. There's plenty |
| 01:41:22 |
I'll be in the way. |
| 01:41:24 |
How could you possibly |
| 01:41:26 |
Want to see |
| 01:41:28 |
Haven't you said enough already? |
| 01:41:30 |
Please. Please. |
| 01:41:31 |
Until you get settled. |
| 01:41:33 |
Please, say yes. |
| 01:41:34 |
We'd be so happy. |
| 01:41:37 |
Well, maybe just for a few days. |
| 01:41:39 |
Oh, that's marvelous! |
| 01:41:40 |
Get the rest of your things. |
| 01:41:42 |
We'll go and clean the house. |
| 01:41:43 |
And cook dinner. |
| 01:41:45 |
It will be nice to have a man |
| 01:41:48 |
Good night, gentlemen. |
| 01:41:50 |
Sorry to interrupt |
| 01:41:51 |
your bridge game. |
| 01:41:53 |
- Ta-ta! |
| 01:42:13 |
I told you it's always |
| 01:42:16 |
Gee. What nice girls. |
| 01:42:25 |
Hey, Felix, |
| 01:42:27 |
are you really going to |
| 01:42:29 |
Just for a couple of days |
| 01:42:31 |
until I can get my own pad. |
| 01:42:34 |
Aren't you going |
| 01:42:35 |
For what? |
| 01:42:37 |
The two greatest |
| 01:42:38 |
taking you in, throwing you out. |
| 01:42:40 |
Oscar, you're right. |
| 01:42:41 |
Getting thrown out |
| 01:42:43 |
In gratitude, I remove the curse. |
| 01:42:45 |
Bless you and thank you, |
| 01:42:47 |
Wicked Witch of the North. |
| 01:42:50 |
Probably the girls. |
| 01:42:51 |
They hate it when I'm late. |
| 01:42:53 |
It's your wife. |
| 01:42:55 |
Oh. Um, do me a favor, Murray. |
| 01:42:57 |
Tell her I can't |
| 01:42:59 |
Tell her I'll call her |
| 01:43:01 |
because we have |
| 01:43:04 |
Tell her if I sound |
| 01:43:05 |
it's because I'm not the same man |
| 01:43:07 |
she threw out three weeks ago. |
| 01:43:10 |
Just tell her that, Murray. |
| 01:43:11 |
I will when I see her. |
| 01:43:19 |
Hello, Blanche. |
| 01:43:21 |
I got a good idea |
| 01:43:23 |
You got my checks, right? |
| 01:43:24 |
So now we're all even up? |
| 01:43:27 |
No, I haven't been |
| 01:43:28 |
I've just been |
| 01:43:31 |
You don't have to |
| 01:43:33 |
I'm just doing what's right. |
| 01:43:35 |
That's very nice of you, too. |
| 01:43:37 |
Well, good night, Mr. Madison. |
| 01:43:38 |
You need any heavy cleaning, |
| 01:43:40 |
I get $1 .50 an hour. |
| 01:43:41 |
Wait. |
| 01:43:43 |
Yeah. Yeah. OK, right. |
| 01:43:45 |
Talk to you tomorrow night. |
| 01:43:47 |
Kiss the kids for me, will you? |
| 01:43:48 |
Good night, Blanche. |
| 01:43:50 |
Felix, what about |
| 01:43:51 |
You won't break up the poker game? |
| 01:43:53 |
Me? Never! |
| 01:43:55 |
Marriage may come and go, |
| 01:43:56 |
but the game must go on. |
| 01:43:58 |
So long, Frances. |
| 01:44:01 |
So long, Blanche. |
| 01:44:06 |
Well, are we just |
| 01:44:08 |
or are we going to play poker? |
| 01:44:10 |
Let's play. |
| 01:44:12 |
Hey, boys, boys, boys, |
| 01:44:14 |
let's watch the cigarette butts, shall we? |
| 01:44:16 |
This is my house... not a pigsty. |
| 01:44:21 |
Ante a quarter, fellas. |
