|
Office Space
|
| 00:01:50 |
[Rap music plays on radio] |
| 00:02:10 |
[Turns down volume] |
| 00:02:13 |
[Turns up volume] |
| 00:02:23 |
Mother... shittin'... |
| 00:02:25 |
son of a... |
| 00:02:26 |
Ass! Ooh! |
| 00:02:28 |
I just... |
| 00:02:35 |
I was told... |
| 00:02:36 |
Have you seen... |
| 00:02:38 |
I was late again I would be |
| 00:03:01 |
[Sets car alarm] |
| 00:03:28 |
Mmm. No, no. |
| 00:03:46 |
NINA: Just a moment. |
| 00:03:49 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:03:51 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:03:54 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:03:56 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:03:59 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:04:01 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:04:04 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:04:07 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:04:08 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:04:11 |
BILL: |
| 00:04:13 |
Ahh... we have |
| 00:04:16 |
Yeah. |
| 00:04:18 |
one of the new cover sheets |
| 00:04:21 |
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. |
| 00:04:25 |
BILL: Mmm... yeah. |
| 00:04:26 |
You see, we're putting |
| 00:04:28 |
on all T.P.S. Reports now |
| 00:04:31 |
Did you see the memo |
| 00:04:33 |
Yeah. Yeah, |
| 00:04:37 |
I just, uh, forgot... |
| 00:04:38 |
but, uh, it's not shipping out |
| 00:04:40 |
so there's no problem. |
| 00:04:42 |
BILL: Yeah. |
| 00:04:44 |
If you could just go ahead |
| 00:04:45 |
you do that from now on, |
| 00:04:48 |
and, uh, I'll go ahead |
| 00:04:50 |
you get another copy |
| 00:04:52 |
PETER: No. I have the memo. |
| 00:04:55 |
BILL: |
| 00:04:58 |
Um... |
| 00:04:59 |
I came by here yesterday... |
| 00:05:02 |
NEWSCASTER: Four teams |
| 00:05:05 |
discovered a shipwreck |
| 00:05:07 |
Milton? |
| 00:05:09 |
Hi. Uh... |
| 00:05:10 |
could you turn that down |
| 00:05:12 |
But I was told |
| 00:05:14 |
to the radio at a reasonable |
| 00:05:17 |
Yeah. I know you're allowed to. |
| 00:05:19 |
I was just thinkin' |
| 00:05:23 |
Well, I... I... I told Bill |
| 00:05:26 |
listen to her headphones |
| 00:05:30 |
then I should be able |
| 00:05:31 |
while I'm collating... |
| 00:05:33 |
so I don't see why I should have |
| 00:05:35 |
Yeah. All right. OK. |
| 00:05:36 |
I enjoy listening |
| 00:05:38 |
PETER: Thanks. |
| 00:05:39 |
MILTON: From 9:00 to 11:00. |
| 00:05:40 |
DOM: Hi, Peter. |
| 00:05:42 |
What's happening? |
| 00:05:44 |
We need to talk |
| 00:05:46 |
Yeah. The cover sheet. |
| 00:05:49 |
Bill talked to me about it. |
| 00:05:50 |
Yeah. Did you get that memo? |
| 00:05:52 |
PETER: Yeah, I got the memo, |
| 00:05:54 |
and the problem is just |
| 00:05:57 |
and I've already |
| 00:05:59 |
so it's not even really |
| 00:06:01 |
Ah! Yeah. |
| 00:06:03 |
It's just we're putting |
| 00:06:05 |
on all the T.P.S. Reports |
| 00:06:07 |
so if you could go ahead |
| 00:06:10 |
to do that from now on, |
| 00:06:12 |
All right! |
| 00:06:16 |
[Telephone rings] |
| 00:06:18 |
NINA: Just a moment. |
| 00:06:20 |
[Ring] |
| 00:06:21 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:06:23 |
Peter Gibbons. |
| 00:06:26 |
Yes. |
| 00:06:27 |
NINA: Corporate accounts |
| 00:06:29 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:06:30 |
I have the memo. |
| 00:06:33 |
SAMIR: No. Not again. I... |
| 00:06:35 |
Why does it say paper jam |
| 00:06:37 |
I swear to God, |
| 00:06:39 |
I just kick this piece of shit |
| 00:06:42 |
MICHAEL: You and me both, man. |
| 00:06:44 |
That thing is lucky |
| 00:06:47 |
Piece of shit. |
| 00:06:49 |
PEGG Y: "Samir... |
| 00:06:51 |
"Na-Na... |
| 00:06:53 |
"Na-Naga..." |
| 00:06:55 |
- No. Thanks. |
| 00:06:56 |
SAMIR: Please. |
| 00:06:58 |
"Michael... Bolton"? |
| 00:07:01 |
That's me. |
| 00:07:02 |
Wow! Is that your real name? |
| 00:07:04 |
MICHAEL: Yeah. Ahem. |
| 00:07:06 |
So are you related |
| 00:07:08 |
MICHAEL: No. |
| 00:07:10 |
Oh. |
| 00:07:13 |
SAMIR: No one in this country |
| 00:07:16 |
It's not that hard. |
| 00:07:18 |
"Na-ee" and then "anajaad." |
| 00:07:20 |
MICHAEL: At least your name |
| 00:07:23 |
SAMIR: You know, there's |
| 00:07:25 |
MICHAEL: There was |
| 00:07:27 |
until I was |
| 00:07:28 |
and that no-talent |
| 00:07:31 |
and started winning Grammys. |
| 00:07:32 |
SAMIR: Hmm. |
| 00:07:33 |
Well, why don't you just go |
| 00:07:37 |
MICHAEL: Why should I change? |
| 00:07:39 |
Hey, guys. |
| 00:07:40 |
MICHAEL: What's up, G? |
| 00:07:42 |
Wanna go to Chotchkie's, |
| 00:07:44 |
SAMIR: Oh, it's a little early. |
| 00:07:45 |
I gotta get outta here. |
| 00:07:48 |
PEGG Y: Uh-oh. |
| 00:07:49 |
Sounds like somebody's |
| 00:07:52 |
[Peggy chuckles] |
| 00:07:56 |
PETER: |
| 00:07:58 |
One of these days, |
| 00:08:00 |
[lmitates machine gun] |
| 00:08:01 |
[Lmitates machine gun] |
| 00:08:03 |
Heh heh heh! |
| 00:08:04 |
So, can I get you gentlemen |
| 00:08:06 |
or maybe something |
| 00:08:07 |
some pizza shooters, shrimp |
| 00:08:10 |
- Just coffee. |
| 00:08:12 |
Sounds like a case |
| 00:08:13 |
[Brian chuckles] |
| 00:08:18 |
What if we're still doin' this |
| 00:08:22 |
It would be nice to have |
| 00:08:25 |
Lumbergh's gonna have me work |
| 00:08:27 |
I can tell already. |
| 00:08:29 |
I'm gonna end up doin' it, |
| 00:08:31 |
because I'm a big pussy... |
| 00:08:33 |
which is why I work |
| 00:08:35 |
MICHAEL: Uh, yeah, well, |
| 00:08:36 |
and I don't consider myself |
| 00:08:38 |
SAMIR: |
| 00:08:41 |
MICHAEL: They're gonna find out |
| 00:08:43 |
if they don't start treating |
| 00:08:44 |
SAMIR: That's right. |
| 00:08:46 |
MICHAEL: They don't understand. |
| 00:08:48 |
I could program a virus that'd |
| 00:08:50 |
PETER: Yeah. |
| 00:08:51 |
MICHAEL: Big time. |
| 00:08:54 |
STAN: Whoa! |
| 00:08:55 |
There she is. |
| 00:08:57 |
SAMIR: Peter, you know, |
| 00:09:01 |
If you're so obsessed with her, |
| 00:09:03 |
Oh, I can't do that. |
| 00:09:05 |
I'm just another |
| 00:09:06 |
You can't just walk up |
| 00:09:09 |
Besides, I'm still trying |
| 00:09:12 |
Oh, that reminds me. |
| 00:09:14 |
Why not? |
| 00:09:16 |
I'm gonna see this occupational |
| 00:09:20 |
Dude, |
| 00:09:22 |
PETER: |
| 00:09:24 |
She thinks it might help. |
| 00:09:26 |
Um... |
| 00:09:28 |
You know, |
| 00:09:31 |
I get thinking |
| 00:09:33 |
Yeah. I know what you mean. |
| 00:09:35 |
Yeah. |
| 00:09:37 |
What is that supposed to mean? |
| 00:09:40 |
Nothing. |
| 00:09:42 |
Why don't you just tell Anne |
| 00:09:44 |
and you wanna play poker |
| 00:09:45 |
I can't do that. |
| 00:09:47 |
and, besides, I think the guy |
| 00:09:51 |
I mean, |
| 00:09:53 |
Peter, she's anorexic. |
| 00:09:55 |
Yeah, I know. |
| 00:09:56 |
The guy's really good. |
| 00:09:59 |
Yeah, well, I don't think any |
| 00:10:01 |
is gonna help you solve |
| 00:10:03 |
Hey, and speaking of problems... |
| 00:10:05 |
what's this I hear about you |
| 00:10:06 |
with your T.P.S. Reports? |
| 00:10:07 |
SAMIR: |
| 00:10:12 |
TOM: Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! |
| 00:10:14 |
SAMIR: Is that Smykowski? |
| 00:10:16 |
- Samir! |
| 00:10:17 |
MICHAEL: Oh, probably workin' on |
| 00:10:19 |
TOM: I've been lookin' |
| 00:10:21 |
Have you seen this? |
| 00:10:23 |
PETER: What? |
| 00:10:25 |
TOM: So what? |
| 00:10:28 |
They're gonna downsize Initech. |
| 00:10:29 |
SAMIR: What are you talking |
| 00:10:31 |
TOM: How do I know? They're |
| 00:10:34 |
That's how I know. |
| 00:10:35 |
That's what this staff meeting's |
| 00:10:37 |
It happened |
| 00:10:38 |
You have to interview |
| 00:10:40 |
They call them |
| 00:10:42 |
but what you're really doing... |
| 00:10:43 |
is interviewing |
| 00:10:44 |
MICHAEL: Every week you say |
| 00:10:46 |
and you're still here. |
| 00:10:47 |
TOM: Not this time. I bet |
| 00:10:49 |
The thought of having to go to |
| 00:10:51 |
and stand in line |
| 00:10:53 |
SAMIR: Shit. |
| 00:10:56 |
TOM: You know there are people |
| 00:10:58 |
that don't have to put up |
| 00:11:00 |
Like that guy |
| 00:11:03 |
You see, |
| 00:11:06 |
You have to use your mind... |
| 00:11:08 |
and come up with some really |
| 00:11:10 |
and you can make millions... |
| 00:11:13 |
MICHAEL: You think the pet rock |
| 00:11:15 |
Sure it was. |
| 00:11:17 |
The guy made a million dollars. |
| 00:11:21 |
You know, I had an idea |
| 00:11:24 |
a long time ago. |
| 00:11:26 |
PETER: Really? What was it, Tom? |
| 00:11:28 |
Well, all right. |
| 00:11:30 |
It was |
| 00:11:36 |
You see, it would be this mat... |
| 00:11:38 |
that you would |
| 00:11:40 |
and it would have different |
| 00:11:44 |
that you could jump to. |
| 00:11:51 |
MICHAEL: That is the worst idea |
| 00:11:53 |
SAMIR: Yes. Yes, it's horrible, |
| 00:11:59 |
Uh, look... |
| 00:12:01 |
I gotta get outta here. |
| 00:12:03 |
I'll see you guys later... |
| 00:12:04 |
if I still have a job. |
| 00:12:07 |
MICHAEL: Yeah. |
| 00:12:08 |
Our high school |
| 00:12:10 |
used to ask us what you would do |
| 00:12:12 |
didn't have to work... |
| 00:12:13 |
and whatever you'd say |
| 00:12:16 |
So if you wanted |
| 00:12:18 |
then you're supposed |
| 00:12:19 |
SAMIR: So what did you say? |
| 00:12:21 |
I never had an answer. |
| 00:12:23 |
I guess that's why |
| 00:12:25 |
No. You're working at Initech... |
| 00:12:27 |
'cause that question |
| 00:12:29 |
If everyone listened to her, |
| 00:12:30 |
because no one would clean shit |
| 00:12:33 |
SAMIR: You know what I would do |
| 00:12:35 |
I would invest half of it |
| 00:12:38 |
and then take the other half |
| 00:12:40 |
who works in securities... |
| 00:12:42 |
MICHAEL: Samir. Samir, |
| 00:12:44 |
The point of the exercise is |
| 00:12:45 |
what you would want to do if... |
| 00:12:49 |
"PC load letter"? |
| 00:13:08 |
[Turns on television] |
| 00:13:13 |
LAWRENCE: Hey, Peter, man! |
| 00:13:15 |
Check out this chick! |
| 00:13:17 |
Damn it! Lawrence, |
| 00:13:19 |
like we can't hear |
| 00:13:21 |
LAWRENCE: Oh, sorry, man! |
| 00:13:23 |
No, but... |
| 00:13:25 |
If you want to talk to me, |
| 00:13:31 |
Hey, man, check this out, dude. |
| 00:13:36 |
ANNOUNCER: |
| 00:13:39 |
Tumours that are detected... |
| 00:13:40 |
Aw, jeez, Lawrence. |
| 00:13:42 |
LAWRENCE: Sorry, man. I thought |
| 00:13:45 |
Doesn't that chick |
| 00:13:46 |
Yeah. |
| 00:13:48 |
A little bit. I... |
| 00:13:49 |
Hey, she hasn't been over here |
| 00:13:51 |
You two still goin' out? |
| 00:13:52 |
Yeah. |
| 00:13:54 |
I guess. I... I don't know. |
| 00:13:55 |
Sometimes I get the feeling |
| 00:13:57 |
Yeah. I get that feeling, |
| 00:14:01 |
What do you mean by that? |
| 00:14:02 |
I don't know, man. |
| 00:14:05 |
I just get that feeling |
| 00:14:07 |
she's the type of chick |
| 00:14:10 |
Uhh. |
| 00:14:14 |
Oh, I'm sorry, man. Look, I... I... |
| 00:14:16 |
You know, |
| 00:14:18 |
PETER: Forget it. Don't worry. |
| 00:14:20 |
Just... I had a rough day. |
| 00:14:21 |
LAWRENCE: Tell me about it, man. |
| 00:14:23 |
Ohh... |
| 00:14:25 |
Ooh, I gotta wake my ass up... |
| 00:14:27 |
at six a.m. |
| 00:14:30 |
drag up to Las Golindas. |
| 00:14:32 |
I'm doin' the drywall up there |
| 00:14:35 |
Let me ask you something. |
| 00:14:38 |
When you come in on Monday, and |
| 00:14:40 |
does anyone ever say to you... |
| 00:14:41 |
"Sounds like someone |
| 00:14:45 |
No. |
| 00:14:47 |
No, man. |
| 00:14:50 |
Shit, no, man. |
| 00:14:51 |
You'd get your ass kicked, |
| 00:14:54 |
PETER: Huh. |
| 00:14:55 |
LAWRENCE: We still goin' fishin' |
| 00:14:57 |
Ah, Lumbergh's gonna have me |
| 00:14:59 |
I just know it. |
| 00:15:00 |
LAWRENCE: Well, you can |
| 00:15:01 |
PETER: Yeah? How? |
| 00:15:03 |
Well... |
| 00:15:05 |
when a boss wants you |
| 00:15:07 |
he generally asks you |
| 00:15:10 |
PETER: Yeah. |
| 00:15:11 |
LAWRENCE: So all you gotta do is |
| 00:15:13 |
I got it... on the last few hours |
| 00:15:15 |
duck out early... |
| 00:15:17 |
turn off |
| 00:15:19 |
you should be home free, man. |
| 00:15:23 |
That's a really good idea. |
| 00:15:25 |
Fuckin' "A," man. |
| 00:15:27 |
Lawrence, what would you do |
| 00:15:32 |
I'll tell you what I'd do, man. |
| 00:15:35 |
Two chicks |
| 00:15:41 |
That's it? |
| 00:15:42 |
If you had a million dollars... |
| 00:15:44 |
you'd do two chicks |
| 00:15:46 |
Damn straight. I've always |
| 00:15:48 |
I think if I were a millionaire, |
| 00:15:51 |
'cause chicks dig dudes |
| 00:15:53 |
Well, not all chicks. |
| 00:15:54 |
The type of chicks that would |
| 00:15:57 |
Good point. |
| 00:15:58 |
LAWRENCE: What about you, now? |
| 00:16:00 |
Besides two chicks |
| 00:16:01 |
Well, yeah. |
| 00:16:03 |
Nothing. |
| 00:16:05 |
Nothin', huh? |
| 00:16:06 |
I would relax. |
| 00:16:08 |
I would sit on my ass all day. |
| 00:16:12 |
I would do nothing. |
| 00:16:14 |
You don't need a million dollars |
| 00:16:16 |
Take a look at my cousin. |
| 00:16:18 |
He's broke, don't do shit. |
| 00:16:23 |
NINA: Corporate accounts |
| 00:16:25 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:16:27 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:16:29 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:16:31 |
Corporate accounts payable. |
| 00:16:33 |
Just a moment. |
| 00:16:36 |
BILL: |
| 00:16:37 |
with every decision you make... |
| 00:16:40 |
"Is this good for the company? |
| 00:16:42 |
"Am I helping with..." |
| 00:16:44 |
PETER: Is that the guy? |
| 00:16:45 |
TOM: Yeah. We're screwed. |
| 00:16:47 |
BILL: OK, then, um... |
| 00:16:51 |
I'd like to go ahead |
| 00:16:53 |
a new member to our team here. |
| 00:16:56 |
This is, uh... |
| 00:16:58 |
Bob Slydell. |
| 00:17:01 |
Yeah. Uh... |
| 00:17:03 |
Bob is a consultant. |
| 00:17:06 |
Yeah. He's gonna be |
| 00:17:10 |
helping us out... |
| 00:17:11 |
a little here... |
| 00:17:13 |
asking some questions... |
| 00:17:14 |
maybe seeing |
| 00:17:16 |
we can make things run |
| 00:17:18 |
around here. |
| 00:17:21 |
Yeah. |
| 00:17:22 |
Oh, and remember, next Friday... |
| 00:17:25 |
is Hawaiian shirt day. |
| 00:17:29 |
So, you know, if you want to, |
| 00:17:32 |
wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. |
| 00:17:35 |
And I said I don't care |
| 00:17:38 |
Because I told Bill... |
| 00:17:39 |
that if they move my desk |
| 00:17:41 |
then I'm... I'm quitting. |
| 00:17:44 |
and I told Dom, too... |
| 00:17:45 |
because they've moved my desk |
| 00:17:49 |
and I used to be over |
| 00:17:51 |
and I could see the squirrels, |
| 00:17:54 |
but then they switched |
| 00:17:56 |
to the Boston stapler, but |
| 00:17:59 |
because it didn't |
| 00:18:00 |
and I kept the staples |
| 00:18:03 |
PETER: OK, Milton. |
| 00:18:04 |
MILTON: No, it's not OK, |
| 00:18:06 |
If they take my stapler, |
| 00:18:10 |
I'll set the building on fire. |
| 00:18:12 |
PETER: |
| 00:18:14 |
Uh, I'll talk to you later, |
| 00:18:16 |
MILTON: Peter... |
| 00:18:32 |
BILL: Good-bye. |
| 00:18:55 |
Come on. |
| 00:18:59 |
Oh, for cryin'... |
| 00:19:21 |
Hello, Peter. What's happening? |
| 00:19:23 |
Um... |
| 00:19:25 |
I'm gonna need you... |
| 00:19:27 |
to go ahead |
| 00:19:29 |
so if you could be here |
| 00:19:33 |
nine, that would be great. |
| 00:19:35 |
OK? |
| 00:19:38 |
Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. |
| 00:19:40 |
Um... |
| 00:19:42 |
I'm also gonna need you |
| 00:19:45 |
on Sunday, too, OK? |
| 00:19:47 |
We, um... |
| 00:19:49 |
lost some people this week... |
| 00:19:51 |
and, uh... |
| 00:19:53 |
we need to sort of play |
| 00:19:55 |
Thanks. |
| 00:20:00 |
PETER: So I was sitting |
| 00:20:01 |
and I realised, ever since |
| 00:20:06 |
every single day of my life |
| 00:20:09 |
the day before it. |
| 00:20:11 |
So that means that every single |
| 00:20:16 |
that's on the worst day |
| 00:20:18 |
What about today? |
| 00:20:20 |
Is today |
| 00:20:21 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:20:26 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:20:28 |
Go on. |
| 00:20:29 |
PETER: Is there any way |
| 00:20:33 |
just zonk me out so that, like, |
| 00:20:35 |
that I'm at work... in here? |
| 00:20:38 |
Could I come home... |
| 00:20:39 |
and think that I've been fishing |
| 00:20:43 |
That's... really not what I do, |
| 00:20:45 |
Heh. |
| 00:20:46 |
However... |
| 00:20:49 |
the good news is, |
| 00:20:52 |
I want you to do something |
| 00:20:56 |
I want you to try and relax. |
| 00:21:01 |
I want you to relax |
| 00:21:04 |
beginning with your toes |
| 00:21:11 |
Now I want you |
| 00:21:14 |
You're beginning to feel |
| 00:21:18 |
as you slip deeper and deeper... |
| 00:21:20 |
into a state |
| 00:21:23 |
All your cares and concerns |
| 00:21:27 |
Deeper and deeper. |
| 00:21:29 |
Way down. |
| 00:21:31 |
Your concern about your job... |
| 00:21:34 |
melts away... |
| 00:21:36 |
way... |
| 00:21:38 |
way down. |
| 00:21:39 |
Unh. |
| 00:21:43 |
Now, when I count backwards |
| 00:21:46 |
you'll be in a state |
| 00:21:48 |
Your worries, cares, |
| 00:21:52 |
and you will remain |
| 00:21:55 |
until I snap my fingers. |
| 00:21:57 |
Three. |
| 00:21:59 |
Deeper and deeper. |
| 00:22:00 |
Way... |
| 00:22:02 |
way down. |
| 00:22:03 |
Two. |
| 00:22:05 |
Deeper and deeper... |
| 00:22:07 |
W-w-w-way down... |
| 00:22:10 |
[Laboured breathing] |
| 00:22:12 |
Whu... whu... |
| 00:22:14 |
One. |
| 00:22:17 |
ANNE: [Gasps] Oh, my God! |
| 00:22:20 |
Ew... ew... |
| 00:22:22 |
- Is he breathing? |
| 00:22:23 |
ANNE: Oh! Where's the phone? |
| 00:22:38 |
[Beeping] |
| 00:22:52 |
Ahh... |
| 00:22:56 |
[Telephone rings] |
| 00:22:58 |
[Ring] |
| 00:23:00 |
[Beep] |
| 00:23:01 |
Yeah, hi, it's Bill Lumbergh. |
| 00:23:03 |
It's about... |
| 00:23:04 |
ten o'clock. |
| 00:23:06 |
Yeah. Just, uh... |
| 00:23:07 |
wondering where you are. |
| 00:23:09 |
[Ring] |
| 00:23:10 |
[Beep] |
| 00:23:11 |
Yeah. Hi. |
| 00:23:14 |
Uh... |
| 00:23:15 |
I just wanted |
| 00:23:17 |
that we did start |
| 00:23:19 |
usual time this morning. |
| 00:23:21 |
Yeah. It isn't a half day |
| 00:23:25 |
so if you could just go ahead... |
| 00:23:27 |
and get here |
| 00:23:29 |
that would be terrific. |
| 00:23:37 |
PETER: Ahh... |
| 00:23:49 |
BILL: Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lum... |
| 00:23:51 |
Yeah. It's... |
| 00:23:54 |
Yeah. It's me again. |
| 00:23:56 |
Uh, I was away from my desk |
| 00:23:59 |
- [Telephone rings] |
| 00:24:03 |
Hello? |
| 00:24:04 |
ANNE: Peter, what's going on? |
| 00:24:06 |
PETER: Huh? |
| 00:24:07 |
ANNE: It's three-thirty. |
| 00:24:11 |
Because I... I... |
| 00:24:13 |
I didn't feel like it. |
| 00:24:15 |
ANNE: |
| 00:24:16 |
First, you just sit there |
| 00:24:18 |
then you walk out and embarrass |
| 00:24:21 |
and don't blame this |
| 00:24:23 |
- That's total bull... |
| 00:24:28 |
[Telephone rings, |
| 00:24:30 |
ANNE: Listen, asshole. |
| 00:24:32 |
We're through. |
| 00:24:34 |
Oh, and one more thing... |
| 00:24:36 |
I've been cheating on you! |
| 00:24:38 |
[Anne hangs up, machine beeps] |
| 00:24:42 |
BILL: So, from now on, |
| 00:24:45 |
if you've worked on two or more |
| 00:24:50 |
and you need the extra columns |
| 00:24:53 |
Otherwise, |
| 00:24:54 |
TOM: Where's Peter? |
| 00:24:55 |
I heard he didn't show up |
| 00:24:57 |
MICHAEL: Uh, I don't know. |
| 00:24:58 |
BILL: |
| 00:24:59 |
MICHAEL: Who's that guy? |
| 00:25:01 |
BILL: So, uh... any questions? |
| 00:25:18 |
Hi. I'm Peter. |
| 00:25:19 |
JOANNA: Hi. Can I help you? |
| 00:25:20 |
PETER: What are you doin' |
| 00:25:21 |
Uh, well, our specials today |
| 00:25:25 |
It's actually right there |
| 00:25:30 |
BRIAN: Hey, look who's back! |
| 00:25:31 |
Table for three to... |
| 00:25:36 |
PETER: I was askin' |
| 00:25:38 |
Would you like to have lunch |
| 00:25:41 |
Are you... are you serious? |
| 00:25:42 |
PETER: Yeah. |
| 00:25:44 |
Yeah. I... I don't think |
| 00:25:48 |
Oh. OK, well, |
| 00:25:50 |
I'm gonna go next door |
| 00:25:52 |
and if you'd like |
| 00:25:53 |
no big deal, all right? |
| 00:25:55 |
And if not, that's cool, too. |
| 00:25:56 |
- OK? |
| 00:25:58 |
PETER: All right. |
| 00:26:00 |
JOANNA: When you say, |
| 00:26:01 |
do you mean |
| 00:26:03 |
PETER: Flinger's. |
| 00:26:05 |
JOANNA: OK. |
| 00:26:07 |
What you do at Initech... |
| 00:26:09 |
is you take the specifications |
| 00:26:12 |
and you bring them down |
| 00:26:15 |
TOM: Yes. Y-yes. |
| 00:26:17 |
PORTER: |
| 00:26:19 |
why couldn't the customers... |
| 00:26:20 |
just take them directly |
| 00:26:23 |
TOM: Well, I'll tell you why. |
| 00:26:26 |
Uh, because... |
| 00:26:28 |
engineers are not good |
| 00:26:31 |
SLYDELL: Uh-huh. So... |
| 00:26:34 |
you physically take the specs |
| 00:26:39 |
Well... |
| 00:26:42 |
no. My secretary does that |
| 00:26:45 |
SLYDELL: Huh. |
| 00:26:47 |
PORTER: So then you must |
| 00:26:48 |
to the software people. |
| 00:26:49 |
Well... |
| 00:26:52 |
no. |
| 00:26:53 |
I mean... |
| 00:26:54 |
sometimes. |
| 00:26:56 |
SLYDELL: What... what would you |
| 00:27:01 |
Well, look, |
| 00:27:03 |
I deal with |
| 00:27:05 |
so the engineers don't have to. |
| 00:27:07 |
I have people skills. |
| 00:27:09 |
I am good at dealing |
| 00:27:11 |
Can't you understand that?! |
| 00:27:12 |
What the hell is wrong |
| 00:27:15 |
I... |
| 00:27:22 |
SLYDELL: Let's see... |
| 00:27:23 |
you are... |
| 00:27:26 |
Michael... |
| 00:27:28 |
- Bolton? |
| 00:27:32 |
PORTER: |
| 00:27:34 |
MICHAEL: Yeah. |
| 00:27:37 |
SLYDELL: Are you any relation |
| 00:27:39 |
MICHAEL: No, it's... it's |
| 00:27:41 |
SLYDELL: Ha ha. |
| 00:27:43 |
I love his music. I do. |
| 00:27:44 |
- I'm a Michael Bolton fan. |
| 00:27:46 |
SLYDELL: For my money, I don't |
| 00:27:48 |
than when he sings |
| 00:27:51 |
But you must really |
| 00:27:52 |
[Men laugh] |
| 00:27:55 |
Yeah, he's... he's... |
| 00:27:57 |
he's pretty... |
| 00:27:58 |
You're goddamn right, he is. |
| 00:28:00 |
- [Men laugh] |
| 00:28:02 |
PORTER: So tell me, what's |
| 00:28:05 |
Mmm... |
| 00:28:08 |
[Michael clears throat] |
| 00:28:09 |
I don't... I don't know. |
| 00:28:11 |
I mean, I guess I sort |
| 00:28:14 |
SLYDELL: That's a riot. |
| 00:28:17 |
But it must be twice |
| 00:28:18 |
being you have |
| 00:28:20 |
I celebrate |
| 00:28:22 |
Anyway, let's get down |
| 00:28:25 |
You know, |
| 00:28:32 |
Hi. |
| 00:28:33 |
Hey. |
| 00:28:36 |
I wonder if I'm allowed |
| 00:28:40 |
I think it would be OK. |
| 00:28:43 |
Would you like to sit down? |
| 00:28:44 |
OK. |
| 00:28:46 |
Ahh. |
| 00:28:49 |
Wow! |
| 00:28:50 |
This place is really... nice. |
| 00:28:53 |
Yeah. Is it? |
| 00:28:55 |
JOANNA: Yeah, my God, |
| 00:28:57 |
I like the uniforms better, |
| 00:29:00 |
I like yours. |
| 00:29:01 |
JOANNA: Ugh! |
| 00:29:06 |
"We're not in Kansas anymore." |
| 00:29:07 |
JOANNA: Yeah. |
| 00:29:09 |
Really. Ha ha. |
| 00:29:12 |
It's on your... |
| 00:29:14 |
Ohh! Yeah. That's... |
| 00:29:16 |
That's, uh... |
| 00:29:18 |
That's one of my... |
| 00:29:21 |
PETER: |
| 00:29:22 |
JOANNA: |
| 00:29:24 |
like these suspenders and, uh, |
| 00:29:28 |
We're actually required |
| 00:29:30 |
um, fifteen pieces of flair. |
| 00:29:33 |
It's really stupid, actually. |
| 00:29:35 |
Do you get to pick 'em |
| 00:29:36 |
JOANNA: Yeah, yeah, we do. |
| 00:29:38 |
Although I didn't actually |
| 00:29:39 |
I just sort of grabbed, |
| 00:29:43 |
I don't even know what they say. |
| 00:29:46 |
I don't really like |
| 00:29:48 |
OK. |
| 00:29:49 |
JOANNA: |
| 00:29:52 |
PETER: Initech. |
| 00:29:54 |
JOANNA: And... Yeah? |
| 00:29:57 |
I sit in a cubicle... |
| 00:29:58 |
and I update bank software |
| 00:30:02 |
What's that? |
| 00:30:04 |
PETER: Well, see, they wrote |
| 00:30:06 |
and, uh, to save space... |
| 00:30:08 |
they used two digits |
| 00:30:09 |
So like 98 instead of 1998. |
| 00:30:12 |
Uh, so I go through these |
| 00:30:15 |
and, uh... |
| 00:30:18 |
I, uh, I don't like my job, |
| 00:30:21 |
I don't think I'm gonna go |
| 00:30:24 |
You're just not gonna go? |
| 00:30:26 |
PETER: Yeah. |
| 00:30:27 |
Won't you get fired? |
| 00:30:29 |
I don't know. |
| 00:30:30 |
But I really don't like it, |
| 00:30:35 |
So you're gonna quit? |
| 00:30:36 |
Nah-uh. Not really. Uh... |
| 00:30:39 |
I'm just gonna stop going. |
| 00:30:43 |
PETER: What? |
| 00:30:44 |
Uh, when did you decide |
| 00:30:46 |
PETER: About an hour ago. |
| 00:30:47 |
- Oh, really? |
| 00:30:49 |
JOANNA: An hour ago. |
| 00:30:51 |
So you're gonna get another job? |
| 00:30:53 |
I don't think I'd like |
| 00:30:55 |
Well, what are you going to do |
| 00:30:58 |
You know, I've never |
| 00:31:01 |
I don't think |
| 00:31:04 |
Ahh... |
| 00:31:05 |
well, so what do you want to do? |
| 00:31:08 |
I want to take you |
| 00:31:10 |
and then I want to go back to my |
| 00:31:12 |
Do you ever watch "Kung Fu"? |
| 00:31:15 |
I love "Kung Fu." |
| 00:31:17 |
- Channel 39. |
| 00:31:19 |
PETER: You should come over |
| 00:31:21 |
- OK. |
| 00:31:23 |
OK. Can we order lunch first? |
| 00:31:25 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:31:27 |
[Mumbles] |
| 00:31:34 |
[Lnaudible conversation] |
| 00:31:41 |
BILL: |
| 00:31:47 |
[Laughter] |
| 00:31:50 |
BILL: Anyway, sounds great, Bob. |
| 00:31:55 |
Hi, Milton. What's happening? |
| 00:31:57 |
MILTON: Nothing. |
| 00:31:59 |
BILL: I'm going to have |
| 00:32:01 |
and move your desk |
| 00:32:03 |
if you could go ahead |
| 00:32:06 |
against that wall as possible... |
| 00:32:08 |
that would be great. |
| 00:32:09 |
MILTON: No, because I was... |
| 00:32:10 |
BILL: That way, |
| 00:32:12 |
for some of these boxes |
| 00:32:14 |
we need to put in here, |
| 00:32:17 |
Oh. Oh, there it is. |
| 00:32:20 |
Here, let me just go ahead |
| 00:32:23 |
[Milton moans] |
| 00:32:25 |
Great. |
| 00:32:27 |
So if you could just get to that |
| 00:32:30 |
that would be terrific, OK? |
| 00:32:33 |
Thanks a bunch, Milton. |
| 00:32:36 |
[Mumbles] OK. |
| 00:32:39 |
I could set the building |
| 00:32:44 |
- Peter. |
| 00:32:46 |
What the hell's going on, man? |
| 00:32:47 |
I thought you'd come in here |
| 00:32:49 |
No. I just came to get |
| 00:32:51 |
I'm not gonna stay. |
| 00:32:52 |
I got a phone number, |
| 00:32:55 |
MICHAEL: What? |
| 00:32:56 |
You were supposed to come in |
| 00:32:59 |
PETER: Michael, I did nothing. |
| 00:33:02 |
I did absolutely nothing... |
| 00:33:04 |
and it was everything |
| 00:33:06 |
MICHAEL: I hope you have |
| 00:33:09 |
You're supposed to be at your |
| 00:33:12 |
PETER: The who? |
| 00:33:13 |
MICHAEL: The consultants. |
| 00:33:17 |
PETER: Oh, yeah... right. |
| 00:33:21 |
MICHAEL: Wait, Peter. |
| 00:33:24 |
Tell 'em you've been sick. |
| 00:33:25 |
Oh, no way. No, I feel great. |
| 00:33:27 |
It's the best day of my life. |
| 00:33:31 |
SLYDELL: Next batter |
| 00:33:33 |
PORTER: Uh-huh. |
| 00:33:34 |
SLYDELL: Ah, there you are. |
| 00:33:37 |
You must be Peter Gibbons. |
| 00:33:38 |
Uh-huh. Terrific. |
| 00:33:40 |
I'm Bob Slydell. This is |
| 00:33:42 |
PETER: Oh, hi, Bob. Bob. |
| 00:33:43 |
SLYDELL: Grab a seat |
| 00:33:47 |
You see, what we're |
| 00:33:49 |
is we're just, |
| 00:33:52 |
for how people spend their day |
| 00:33:54 |
So if you would... |
| 00:33:55 |
would you walk us through |
| 00:34:00 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:34:02 |
PETER: Well, I generally come in |
| 00:34:06 |
Uh, I use the side door. |
| 00:34:08 |
That way Lumbergh can't see me. |
| 00:34:11 |
And after that, I just sort of |
| 00:34:15 |
PORTER: Uh, "space out"? |
| 00:34:17 |
PETER: Yeah. |
| 00:34:18 |
I just stare at my desk. |
| 00:34:20 |
But it looks like I'm working. |
| 00:34:22 |
I do that for probably |
| 00:34:25 |
I'd say in a given week... |
| 00:34:27 |
I probably only do |
| 00:34:29 |
of real, actual work. |
| 00:34:33 |
SLYDELL: Peter, |
| 00:34:36 |
and indulge us and just... |
| 00:34:38 |
tell us a little more? |
| 00:34:39 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:34:41 |
Let me tell you something |
| 00:34:44 |
Ahh... |
| 00:34:46 |
The thing is, Bob, |
| 00:34:49 |
It's that I just don't care. |
| 00:34:51 |
PORTER: Don't... don't care? |
| 00:34:53 |
It's a problem of motivation, |
| 00:34:56 |
Now, if I work my ass off... |
| 00:34:57 |
and Initech |
| 00:34:59 |
I don't see another dime. |
| 00:35:01 |
So where's the motivation? |
| 00:35:03 |
And here's something else, |
| 00:35:05 |
I have eight different bosses |
| 00:35:07 |
- I beg your pardon? |
| 00:35:08 |
- Eight? |
| 00:35:09 |
So that means that |
| 00:35:12 |
I have eight different people |
| 00:35:15 |
That's my only real motivation, |
| 00:35:19 |
That and the fear |
| 00:35:20 |
But you know, Bob... |
| 00:35:22 |
that'll only make someone |
| 00:35:23 |
not to get fired. |
| 00:35:25 |
SLYDELL: Would you bear with me |
| 00:35:28 |
PETER: OK. |
| 00:35:30 |
SLYDELL: What if... |
| 00:35:32 |
this is strictly hypothetical... |
| 00:35:35 |
but what if you were offered |
| 00:35:39 |
equity-sharing program? |
| 00:35:41 |
Would that do anything for you? |
| 00:35:42 |
I don't know. I guess. |
| 00:35:44 |
Uh, it's been really nice |
| 00:35:47 |
- Yes. |
| 00:35:48 |
SLYDELL: Pleasure's all on this |
| 00:35:51 |
Good luck |
| 00:35:53 |
I hope your firings |
| 00:35:54 |
- OK. |
| 00:35:56 |
SLYDELL: Great. Wow. |
| 00:36:05 |
BILL: |
| 00:36:07 |
Listen, uh... |
| 00:36:15 |
STAN: Joanna, would you |
| 00:36:18 |
JOANNA: Yeah. |
| 00:36:19 |
I'm sorry I was late, but I |
| 00:36:24 |
STAN: We need to talk about |
| 00:36:26 |
JOANNA: Really? |
| 00:36:29 |
I also... |
| 00:36:30 |
STAN: Well, fifteen |
| 00:36:33 |
JOANNA: Oh. OK. |
| 00:36:34 |
STAN: Now, you know, |
| 00:36:36 |
you want to just |
| 00:36:39 |
Well, like Brian, for example... |
| 00:36:40 |
has thirty-seven pieces of flair |
| 00:36:44 |
And a terrific smile. |
| 00:36:45 |
OK, so you want me to wear more? |
| 00:36:49 |
Look, Joanna... |
| 00:36:50 |
Yeah? |
| 00:36:51 |
People can get |
| 00:36:53 |
They come to Chotchkie's for |
| 00:36:57 |
OK? That's what |
| 00:36:58 |
- It's about fun. |
| 00:37:00 |
OK, so more then, yeah? |
| 00:37:03 |
Look, we want you |
| 00:37:07 |
Now if you feel that the bare |
| 00:37:11 |
but some people choose |
| 00:37:14 |
and we encourage that, OK? |
| 00:37:17 |
You do want to express yourself, |
| 00:37:20 |
Y-yeah. |
| 00:37:21 |
OK, great, great. |
| 00:37:23 |
OK. |
| 00:37:26 |
SLYDELL: Right, so there's |
| 00:37:29 |
we can easily lose. |
| 00:37:31 |
Then there's Tom Smykowski. |
| 00:37:35 |
He's useless. |
| 00:37:36 |
Gone. |
| 00:37:37 |
DOM: Sounds good to me. |
| 00:37:39 |
SLYDELL: Here's a peculiar... |
| 00:37:41 |
- Uh, Milton Waddams. |
| 00:37:43 |
PORTER: You know, squirrelly |
| 00:37:45 |
DOM: Oh, yeah. |
| 00:37:47 |
SLYDELL: We... we can't actually |
| 00:37:48 |
of him being |
| 00:37:50 |
PORTER: I looked into it |
| 00:37:52 |
and I found that |
| 00:37:54 |
is that he was laid off |
| 00:37:57 |
and no one ever |
| 00:37:58 |
but through some kind of glitch |
| 00:38:00 |
he still gets a paycheque. |
| 00:38:02 |
So we just went ahead |
| 00:38:05 |
BILL: Great. |
| 00:38:06 |
DOM: |
| 00:38:08 |
SLYDELL: Just a second there, |
| 00:38:09 |
We, uh, we fixed the glitch. |
| 00:38:13 |
So he won't be receiving |
| 00:38:15 |
So it'll just work itself out |
| 00:38:18 |
PORTER: We always like to avoid |
| 00:38:21 |
The problem is solved |
| 00:38:22 |
[Laughter] |
| 00:38:23 |
SLYDELL: I'd like to move us |
| 00:38:26 |
Now, we had a chance |
| 00:38:29 |
and, boy, that's just |
| 00:38:31 |
with upper management |
| 00:38:33 |
Eech. Ooh. |
| 00:38:35 |
Yeah. Um... |
| 00:38:39 |
I'm going to have to go ahead... |
| 00:38:40 |
and sort of disagree |
| 00:38:42 |
Yeah, uh, he's been |
| 00:38:44 |
and I'm just not sure |
| 00:38:48 |
that we would want |
| 00:38:50 |
He's also been having |
| 00:38:53 |
with his T.P.S. Reports. |
| 00:38:56 |
PORTER: I'll handle this. |
| 00:38:58 |
We feel... |
| 00:39:01 |
that the problem |
| 00:39:03 |
SLYDELL: Mm-mmm. |
| 00:39:05 |
PORTER: It's that you haven't |
| 00:39:07 |
to get him really motivated. |
| 00:39:08 |
SLYDELL: There it is. |
| 00:39:10 |
Yeah... Ah, well... |
| 00:39:13 |
I'm just not sure about that |
| 00:39:15 |
SLYDELL: Yeah, Bill, let me ask |
| 00:39:18 |
How much time would you say |
| 00:39:21 |
dealing with |
| 00:39:28 |
Yeah... |
| 00:40:26 |
[Alarm blaring] |
| 00:40:34 |
LAWRENCE: Hey, Peter, man! |
| 00:40:35 |
Check out channel nine. |
| 00:40:53 |
DOM: Hi, Peter. |
| 00:40:55 |
PETER: Oh, hi, Dom. |
| 00:41:43 |
BILL: So... Peter... |
| 00:41:45 |
what's happening? |
| 00:41:46 |
Ahh, now, |
| 00:41:49 |
and have those T.P.S. Reports |
| 00:41:53 |
PETER: No. |
| 00:41:55 |
Ahh... yeah... |
| 00:41:58 |
So I guess we should |
| 00:42:00 |
and have a little talk, hmm? |
| 00:42:03 |
PETER: Not right now, Lumbergh, |
| 00:42:06 |
In fact, I'm going to have |
| 00:42:10 |
Just come back another time. |
| 00:42:11 |
I got a meeting with the Bobs |
| 00:42:15 |
BILL: Uh, I wasn't aware |
| 00:42:17 |
PETER: |
| 00:42:23 |
BILL: That sounds good, Peter. |
| 00:42:25 |
And, uh, we'll go ahead and... |
| 00:42:27 |
get this all fixed up for you. |
| 00:42:29 |
Great. |
| 00:42:30 |
[Mumbles] |
| 00:42:35 |
Hi, Milton. What's happening? |
| 00:42:38 |
[Mumbles] |
| 00:42:39 |
I... I didn't receive |
| 00:42:41 |
Uh, you're going to have to talk |
| 00:42:45 |
I did and they said... |
| 00:42:47 |
BILL: |
| 00:42:49 |
and move you downstairs |
| 00:42:52 |
No, I... I... |
| 00:42:54 |
BILL: New people are coming, |
| 00:42:58 |
MILTON: But there's no space... |
| 00:42:59 |
BILL: So if you could go ahead |
| 00:43:03 |
and move it down there... |
| 00:43:04 |
that would be terrific. |
| 00:43:06 |
OK? |
| 00:43:08 |
MILTON: Uh, excuse me... |
| 00:43:10 |
I believe you have my stapler, |
| 00:43:15 |
PORTER: You've been missing |
| 00:43:17 |
PETER: I wouldn't say |
| 00:43:21 |
PORTER: Good one. |
| 00:43:22 |
SLYDELL: |
| 00:43:24 |
I'm sure you've... you've heard |
| 00:43:27 |
circulating |
| 00:43:29 |
about how we're going to do |
| 00:43:31 |
with some software people. |
| 00:43:33 |
Well, Bob, I have heard that. |
| 00:43:36 |
PORTER: We'll be getting rid |
| 00:43:38 |
First, Mr. Samir Naga... |
| 00:43:42 |
SLYDELL: Naga... |
| 00:43:44 |
PORTER: Naga-gonna work here |
| 00:43:47 |
And Mr. Mike Bolton. |
| 00:43:50 |
You're gonna layoff |
| 00:43:52 |
PORTER: Yeah. We're gonna bring |
| 00:43:54 |
Farm some work out to Singapore, |
| 00:43:56 |
SLYDELL: It's standard |
| 00:43:58 |
PETER: Do they know this yet? |
| 00:44:00 |
SLYDELL: No. No, of course not. |
| 00:44:02 |
We find it's always better |
| 00:44:05 |
Studies have |
| 00:44:07 |
there's less chance |
| 00:44:09 |
if you do it at the end |
| 00:44:10 |
Peter, what we'd like to do |
| 00:44:13 |
to have as many |
| 00:44:17 |
working right underneath you. |
| 00:44:18 |
This is a big promotion, Pete. |
| 00:44:20 |
So you're going |
| 00:44:23 |
and give me more money? |
| 00:44:27 |
SLYDELL: Uh-huh. |
| 00:44:28 |
Wow! |
| 00:44:31 |
MICHAEL: Hmm. Yeah. |
| 00:44:33 |
That's it. |
| 00:44:36 |
Give it to me. |
| 00:44:38 |
Come on, you little fucker, |
| 00:44:39 |
That's what I need. |
| 00:44:41 |
Let's do exactly that, |
| 00:44:43 |
- Michael. |
| 00:44:45 |
PETER: Listen to me. |
| 00:44:49 |
What are you doing tonight? |
| 00:44:52 |
PETER: Michael, there comes |
| 00:44:54 |
and maybe that time for you |
| 00:44:58 |
when it doesn't hurt to start |
| 00:45:02 |
Uh, no offence there, Peter... |
| 00:45:04 |
but speak for yourself there, |
| 00:45:05 |
I'm not the one who's been |
| 00:45:08 |
I know you had this religious |
| 00:45:12 |
but get your shit together, |
| 00:45:16 |
Yeah, and, uh, and I... Listen... |
| 00:45:19 |
That virus |
| 00:45:21 |
the one that could |
| 00:45:23 |
for a bunch of money. |
| 00:45:25 |
Yeah, what about it? |
| 00:45:26 |
Well, how does it work? |
| 00:45:28 |
It's pretty brilliant. |
| 00:45:30 |
What it does is every time |
| 00:45:32 |
where interest is computed... |
| 00:45:34 |
the computer ends up with |
| 00:45:36 |
which it usually rounds off. |
| 00:45:38 |
What this does is it takes |
| 00:45:40 |
and puts it into an account. |
| 00:45:42 |
- This sounds familiar. |
| 00:45:45 |
PETER: Right, uh... |
| 00:45:46 |
MICHAEL: |
| 00:45:48 |
There were hackers that did it |
| 00:45:51 |
- So they check for this now. |
| 00:45:54 |
Initech's so backed up with all |
| 00:45:57 |
they'd never notice. |
| 00:45:58 |
You're right. |
| 00:46:00 |
Even if they wanted to, they |
| 00:46:02 |
MICHAEL: Thumbs up their asses. |
| 00:46:05 |
PETER: So, Michael, what's |
| 00:46:09 |
It's not worth the risk. |
| 00:46:13 |
What if you didn't have |
| 00:46:17 |
MICHAEL: Cock gobblers! |
| 00:46:21 |
Samir and I are |
| 00:46:25 |
You haven't been showin' up, |
| 00:46:27 |
Actually, I'm being promoted. |
| 00:46:29 |
- What?! |
| 00:46:32 |
It's completely unfair. |
| 00:46:34 |
And I realised something today. |
| 00:46:36 |
It's not just about me |
| 00:46:39 |
It's about all of us together. |
| 00:46:43 |
I don't know what happened to me |
| 00:46:46 |
Maybe it was just shock, |
| 00:46:49 |
but when I saw that fat man |
| 00:46:51 |
Michael, we don't have |
| 00:46:54 |
We weren't meant to spend it |
| 00:46:57 |
Human beings were not meant |
| 00:47:00 |
staring at computer screens |
| 00:47:02 |
filling out useless forms... |
| 00:47:03 |
and listening |
| 00:47:05 |
drone on |
| 00:47:07 |
I told those fudgepackers |
| 00:47:10 |
Ohh. That is not right, Michael. |
| 00:47:14 |
For five years now, |
| 00:47:17 |
hoping for a promotion, |
| 00:47:21 |
Five years... |
| 00:47:22 |
of your mid-twenties now gone. |
| 00:47:25 |
And you're gonna |
| 00:47:26 |
they're gonna throw you |
| 00:47:29 |
You know why? |
| 00:47:30 |
So Bill Lumbergh's stock |
| 00:47:35 |
Ugh. |
| 00:47:36 |
Michael, let's make |
| 00:47:38 |
and let's take enough money |
| 00:47:40 |
so that we never have |
| 00:47:45 |
Your software works, right? |
| 00:47:47 |
Of course it works. |
| 00:47:50 |
Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't |
| 00:47:52 |
I don't know the credit union's |
| 00:47:54 |
Yeah. But Samir does. |
| 00:47:58 |
SAMIR: |
| 00:47:59 |
PETER: That's the beauty of it. |
| 00:48:01 |
Each withdrawal, it's a fraction |
| 00:48:05 |
But you take a few thousand |
| 00:48:07 |
you space it out |
| 00:48:08 |
that's a few |
| 00:48:10 |
It's like "Superman III." |
| 00:48:12 |
SAMIR: "Superman lll"? |
| 00:48:14 |
I have to leave now. |
| 00:48:17 |
PETER: For another job where |
| 00:48:21 |
SAMIR: |
| 00:48:24 |
I'm tired of being |
| 00:48:28 |
Yes, but I'm not going to do |
| 00:48:31 |
Illegal? |
| 00:48:33 |
Come on. Sit down. |
| 00:48:36 |
Come on. This isn't Riyadh. |
| 00:48:38 |
They're not going |
| 00:48:41 |
The worst they'd do is put you |
| 00:48:44 |
into a white-collar, |
| 00:48:47 |
Shit, we should be so lucky. |
| 00:48:50 |
- Really? |
| 00:48:52 |
MICHAEL: Shit! |
| 00:48:53 |
I'm a free man. I haven't had |
| 00:48:56 |
So what do you think? |
| 00:48:58 |
This thing is actually |
| 00:49:00 |
PETER: Samir? |
| 00:49:03 |
You came here looking |
| 00:49:06 |
And this is the knock |
| 00:49:09 |
Tomorrow is your last day |
| 00:49:11 |
You have two options... |
| 00:49:13 |
unemployment |
| 00:49:15 |
What's it gonna be? |
| 00:49:17 |
- I have a question. |
| 00:49:19 |
In this conjugal visits, |
| 00:49:23 |
Yep, you sure can. |
| 00:49:29 |
OK, I'll do it. |
| 00:49:30 |
PETER: That's what I'm talkin' |
| 00:49:33 |
Can we discuss the plan? |
| 00:49:34 |
OK, yeah, good, right. |
| 00:49:36 |
It works like a computer virus. |
| 00:49:37 |
All we do is load it into |
| 00:49:40 |
It'll do the rest. |
| 00:49:41 |
PETER: Get me that disk, |
| 00:49:43 |
Before we go any further, |
| 00:49:46 |
We have to swear to God, |
| 00:49:49 |
that nobody knows about this |
| 00:49:51 |
No family members, |
| 00:49:54 |
- Of course. |
| 00:49:55 |
LAWRENCE: Don't worry, man! |
| 00:49:58 |
- What the fuck is that? |
| 00:50:00 |
PETER: All right. Here's how |
| 00:50:03 |
SLYDELL: Peter, congratulations. |
| 00:50:06 |
PETER: Thank you, Bob. |
| 00:50:07 |
PORTER: We'll get some people |
| 00:50:27 |
[Bang bang] |
| 00:51:18 |
[Bang] |
| 00:51:31 |
MICHAEL: That was easy. |
| 00:51:33 |
Yeah, I guess it was. |
| 00:51:35 |
What'd you do with the... |
| 00:51:36 |
DREW: Hey, man. |
| 00:51:38 |
PETER: Oh, hey, Drew. |
| 00:51:40 |
You guys hear |
| 00:51:42 |
That he got laid off? |
| 00:51:43 |
No, man, check it out. |
| 00:51:44 |
Last week, after he found out |
| 00:51:47 |
he tries to kill himself by |
| 00:51:50 |
PETER: Is he dead? |
| 00:51:51 |
DREW: No, man, check it out. |
| 00:51:53 |
His wife comes home early |
| 00:51:56 |
DREW: He tries to play it off |
| 00:51:58 |
TOM: I was having some trouble |
| 00:52:01 |
It's jammed. |
| 00:52:02 |
I... I couldn't get it |
| 00:52:04 |
- I... I... I mean, reverse. |
| 00:52:07 |
DREW: |
| 00:52:09 |
he decides he wants to live. |
| 00:52:11 |
TOM: Yeah, I think I'm OK. |
| 00:52:13 |
Right. |
| 00:52:14 |
Seems to be working now. |
| 00:52:18 |
See you later, honey. |
| 00:52:20 |
Love ya. |
| 00:52:22 |
DREW: But as soon as he backs |
| 00:52:26 |
He gets slammed big-time |
| 00:52:29 |
- Is he OK? |
| 00:52:31 |
Broke both his wrists, legs, |
| 00:52:34 |
but he's getting |
| 00:52:36 |
Like seven figures. |
| 00:52:37 |
He's getting out |
| 00:52:39 |
He's throwing a big party |
| 00:52:41 |
We're all invited. |
| 00:52:43 |
I'm thinking I might take |
| 00:52:45 |
Things go well, I might be |
| 00:52:48 |
Oh, oh, oh... |
| 00:52:50 |
You know what I'm talking about. |
| 00:52:53 |
Yeah. Right. |
| 00:52:55 |
See you guys there. |
| 00:52:58 |
MICHAEL: |
| 00:53:02 |
SAMIR: I can't believe |
| 00:53:04 |
It's not like |
| 00:53:08 |
I stole something. |
| 00:53:10 |
Oh, yeah. I guess we all did. |
| 00:53:12 |
PETER: |
| 00:53:15 |
What did you steal? |
| 00:53:18 |
Call it a going-away present. |
| 00:54:54 |
MICHAEL: Who's got my keys? |
| 00:54:55 |
SAMIR: I'm driving. |
| 00:54:56 |
PETER: |
| 00:54:58 |
All right? OK? |
| 00:55:00 |
It's fun, and it's exciting. |
| 00:55:02 |
I gotta... I gotta go. All right? |
| 00:55:04 |
Joanna's coming over. |
| 00:55:05 |
Don't worry. |
| 00:55:08 |
Monday morning, we're gonna |
| 00:55:10 |
Everything will be OK. |
| 00:55:12 |
Don't miss Tom's barbecue. |
| 00:55:14 |
All right? Good night! |
| 00:55:15 |
[Rapping] Back up in your ass |
| 00:55:20 |
What were you guys |
| 00:55:23 |
Oh, um... l'm not really |
| 00:55:30 |
I really can't. |
| 00:55:34 |
So, when the subroutine |
| 00:55:37 |
it uses all these |
| 00:55:40 |
that just get rounded off. |
| 00:55:41 |
So we simplified |
| 00:55:43 |
and we round 'em all down |
| 00:55:46 |
into an account that we opened. |
| 00:55:49 |
So you're stealing? |
| 00:55:52 |
Uh, no. |
| 00:55:53 |
It's, uh, very complicated. |
| 00:55:57 |
It's aggregate, so I'm talking |
| 00:56:00 |
and, uh, over time, |
| 00:56:03 |
Oh, OK. So you're gonna make |
| 00:56:07 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:56:08 |
It's not yours? |
| 00:56:09 |
Uh... well, it becomes ours. |
| 00:56:12 |
How is that not stealing? |
| 00:56:16 |
I don't think |
| 00:56:19 |
Um, the 7-Eleven, right? |
| 00:56:22 |
You'd take a penny |
| 00:56:24 |
From the crippled children? |
| 00:56:26 |
No, that's the jar. |
| 00:56:27 |
I'm talking about the tray... |
| 00:56:30 |
Oh, for everybody. OK. |
| 00:56:32 |
Yeah. |
| 00:56:34 |
I'm just talking about |
| 00:56:37 |
But we do it |
| 00:56:39 |
and we do it |
| 00:56:41 |
So what's wrong with that? |
| 00:56:43 |
I don't know. |
| 00:56:44 |
PETER: It's not wrong. |
| 00:56:46 |
Initech is wrong. |
| 00:56:47 |
Initech is an evil corporation, |
| 00:56:49 |
Chotchkie's is wrong. |
| 00:56:51 |
Doesn't it bother you that you |
| 00:56:53 |
and you have to put on |
| 00:56:55 |
Yeah, but I'm not about |
| 00:56:58 |
taking money from the register. |
| 00:56:59 |
Well, maybe you should. |
| 00:57:02 |
The Nazis had pieces of flair |
| 00:57:05 |
What? |
| 00:57:08 |
Look, we don't... l'm... |
| 00:57:10 |
We don't have |
| 00:57:12 |
Let's just go to the barbecue, |
| 00:57:18 |
TOM: Michael, Samir, |
| 00:57:20 |
- Hey, Tom. |
| 00:57:22 |
I'd like you to meet |
| 00:57:25 |
Rob, Michael. Samir. |
| 00:57:27 |
Peter! How are you? |
| 00:57:31 |
PETER: Tom, hi. This is somebody |
| 00:57:34 |
- This is, uh, Joanna. |
| 00:57:36 |
Hi. Forgive me |
| 00:57:39 |
[Laughing] |
| 00:57:44 |
[Coughing] |
| 00:57:47 |
Peter, come here a minute. |
| 00:57:51 |
Well... what do you think? |
| 00:57:53 |
PETER: Huh... that's... |
| 00:57:55 |
that's exactly as you |
| 00:57:59 |
Uh, listen, I heard about |
| 00:58:02 |
Congratulations. |
| 00:58:03 |
Well, thanks, Peter. |
| 00:58:04 |
You know, I'm glad you're here, |
| 00:58:08 |
I know how you get depressed |
| 00:58:11 |
I just wanted you to know |
| 00:58:14 |
I used to be the same way. |
| 00:58:16 |
- Really? |
| 00:58:18 |
Maybe I didn't whine as much. |
| 00:58:19 |
But I bet I hated my job |
| 00:58:22 |
and I'd been doing it |
| 00:58:24 |
Wow. |
| 00:58:26 |
Just remember, if you |
| 00:58:29 |
good things can happen |
| 00:58:32 |
I mean, look at me. |
| 00:58:35 |
Thanks, Tom. |
| 00:58:38 |
TOM: Ah, sure. |
| 00:58:40 |
[Music playing] |
| 00:58:45 |
ROB: Conjugal visits? |
| 00:58:48 |
Minimum-security prison |
| 00:58:50 |
I have a client in there |
| 00:58:53 |
He says the trick is... |
| 00:58:54 |
kick someone's ass |
| 00:58:56 |
or become someone's bitch. |
| 00:58:57 |
Then everything |
| 00:59:00 |
Why do you ask, anyway? |
| 00:59:02 |
MICHAEL: Oh, no, we just... |
| 00:59:04 |
SAMIR: It's a... |
| 00:59:11 |
- Hey, Peter. |
| 00:59:13 |
That's something |
| 00:59:15 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:59:18 |
DREW: Hey, isn't that the girl |
| 00:59:21 |
PETER: Yep. |
| 00:59:23 |
Who's she here with? |
| 00:59:25 |
She's with me. |
| 00:59:28 |
- Really? |
| 00:59:30 |
All right, Peter. |
| 00:59:34 |
Make sure you wear a rubber, |
| 00:59:38 |
Why's that, Drew? |
| 00:59:39 |
Are you kidding me? |
| 00:59:41 |
She gets around. All right? |
| 00:59:45 |
She does, does she? |
| 00:59:47 |
Oh, yeah, like a record. |
| 00:59:51 |
PETER: Like with who? |
| 00:59:53 |
Oh, let's see, uh... |
| 00:59:56 |
Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. |
| 00:59:59 |
Uh, let me see, who else? |
| 01:00:02 |
Lumbergh? |
| 01:00:06 |
JOANNA: What if you get caught? |
| 01:00:08 |
Oh, I just don't know |
| 01:00:11 |
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea |
| 01:00:14 |
What? |
| 01:00:16 |
What are you... |
| 01:00:18 |
Oh, right, Lumbergh. |
| 01:00:20 |
Aah! |
| 01:00:21 |
Oh... God... Lumbergh! |
| 01:00:24 |
Peter, what is wrong with you? |
| 01:00:26 |
That was, like, two years ago. |
| 01:00:28 |
What? Did you know him? |
| 01:00:30 |
Yeah, I know him. I know him. |
| 01:00:31 |
He's my boss. |
| 01:00:33 |
He's my unholy, |
| 01:00:36 |
Oh, he's not that disgusting. |
| 01:00:38 |
PETER: He represents all |
| 01:00:41 |
and you slept with him. |
| 01:00:43 |
Hey, that is none |
| 01:00:46 |
I didn't ask you who you slept |
| 01:00:49 |
I don't care. |
| 01:00:50 |
I didn't think you |
| 01:00:52 |
Listen to you. |
| 01:00:54 |
Who do you think you are? |
| 01:00:56 |
How dare you judge me? |
| 01:00:58 |
I mean, what are you? |
| 01:01:01 |
No, you're just |
| 01:01:04 |
wannabe criminal man. |
| 01:01:06 |
Yeah, well, that may be. |
| 01:01:08 |
But at least I never |
| 01:01:11 |
OK, that's... l'm done. |
| 01:01:12 |
I wanna get out of the car, OK? |
| 01:01:15 |
Call me when you grow up. |
| 01:01:17 |
Wait. That's probably |
| 01:01:19 |
So don't call me, OK? |
| 01:01:20 |
Say hello to Lumbergh for me! |
| 01:01:29 |
Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. |
| 01:01:31 |
Lumbergh fucked her. |
| 01:01:32 |
Lumbergh fucked her. |
| 01:01:34 |
That is great. |
| 01:01:36 |
I mean, she was seeing |
| 01:01:39 |
Ohh, ohh, ohh. |
| 01:01:43 |
Ooh. |
| 01:01:45 |
If you could just move |
| 01:01:47 |
That's it. Great. |
| 01:01:50 |
Peter, what's happening? |
| 01:01:52 |
Um, could you give me |
| 01:01:56 |
Oh! |
| 01:02:11 |
- Joanna. |
| 01:02:13 |
We need to talk. |
| 01:02:15 |
Do you know what this is about? |
| 01:02:21 |
My, uh, flair? |
| 01:02:22 |
Yeah. |
| 01:02:24 |
Or your lack of flair, |
| 01:02:28 |
I'm counting, |
| 01:02:31 |
Let me ask you a question, |
| 01:02:33 |
What do you think of a person |
| 01:02:38 |
Huh, what do I think? |
| 01:02:42 |
if you want me to wear |
| 01:02:45 |
like your, uh, pretty boy |
| 01:02:47 |
why don't you just |
| 01:02:49 |
thirty-seven pieces of flair? |
| 01:02:51 |
Well, I thought |
| 01:02:53 |
that you wanted |
| 01:02:56 |
JOANNA: Yeah. |
| 01:02:58 |
I do want to express myself. |
| 01:03:00 |
And I don't need thirty-seven |
| 01:03:04 |
All right? There's my flair. OK? |
| 01:03:07 |
And this is me |
| 01:03:11 |
There it is. |
| 01:03:13 |
I hate this job. |
| 01:03:14 |
I hate this goddamn job, |
| 01:03:32 |
Oh, shit. |
| 01:03:33 |
- Shit. |
| 01:03:35 |
- Shit. |
| 01:03:37 |
- Shit. |
| 01:03:40 |
SAMIR: I... I... Shit. |
| 01:03:41 |
MICHAEL: What happened? |
| 01:03:42 |
PETER: You tell me, Michael! |
| 01:03:45 |
SAMIR: Yes, it's your software. |
| 01:03:46 |
PETER: Corporate accounting |
| 01:03:48 |
three hundred five thousand, |
| 01:03:51 |
twenty-six thirteen, Michael! |
| 01:03:54 |
SAMIR: Oh, shit. |
| 01:03:55 |
MICHAEL: They probably |
| 01:03:57 |
for another three or four days. |
| 01:03:59 |
Michael! You said this thing |
| 01:04:03 |
What happened? You said |
| 01:04:05 |
MICHAEL: |
| 01:04:06 |
No, it didn't! |
| 01:04:08 |
SAMIR: |
| 01:04:11 |
MICHAEL: OK. |
| 01:04:12 |
I must have put a decimal point |
| 01:04:15 |
I always do that. I always |
| 01:04:18 |
Oh! Well, this is not |
| 01:04:22 |
MICHAEL: |
| 01:04:23 |
This was all your idea, asshole. |
| 01:04:26 |
All right. OK. |
| 01:04:28 |
Let's try not to get |
| 01:04:31 |
Let's calm down, try to figure |
| 01:04:33 |
We gotta close that account |
| 01:04:37 |
WORKERS SINGING: |
| 01:04:41 |
Happy birthday to you |
| 01:04:46 |
Happy birthday, Mr. Lumbergh |
| 01:04:51 |
Happy birthday to you |
| 01:04:59 |
BILL: Looks terrific. |
| 01:05:01 |
Mmm. |
| 01:05:02 |
Here, Peg, you wanna |
| 01:05:07 |
Mmm. |
| 01:05:09 |
Oh, that is terrific. |
| 01:05:10 |
Just terrific. |
| 01:05:11 |
Thanks, everybody. |
| 01:05:15 |
It's very special. |
| 01:05:16 |
NINA: |
| 01:05:19 |
Let's pass it along and make |
| 01:05:22 |
MILTON: But last time I didn't |
| 01:05:25 |
Just pass. |
| 01:05:26 |
OK, here. But this... |
| 01:05:33 |
The cake... |
| 01:05:37 |
The ratio of people to cake |
| 01:05:57 |
[Mumbles] I could set |
| 01:05:59 |
Is there some way |
| 01:06:03 |
Hand them a cheque for the exact |
| 01:06:06 |
I... I think |
| 01:06:09 |
Well, we have to do something. |
| 01:06:11 |
Maybe we could launder |
| 01:06:14 |
That's a great idea. |
| 01:06:16 |
OK, how do we do that? |
| 01:06:18 |
I don't know. |
| 01:06:19 |
I don't even know what it means. |
| 01:06:21 |
I think coke dealers do it. |
| 01:06:23 |
OK, all right. |
| 01:06:26 |
My cousin's a cokehead. |
| 01:06:33 |
Fuck. |
| 01:06:34 |
We're in deep shit. |
| 01:06:36 |
Yes, we are in very, |
| 01:06:44 |
- Milton. |
| 01:06:46 |
BILL: What's happening? |
| 01:06:47 |
Say, Milton, |
| 01:06:49 |
MILTON: But... no. |
| 01:06:51 |
BILL: Since you're down here... |
| 01:06:52 |
it would be really great |
| 01:06:55 |
take care of the cockroach |
| 01:06:58 |
That's really not my job, and I |
| 01:07:01 |
For now, |
| 01:07:03 |
and get yourself a flashlight |
| 01:07:06 |
and crawl down... |
| 01:07:07 |
DOM: Bill? |
| 01:07:10 |
We got a big problem... big. |
| 01:07:12 |
Some major glitch in accounting, |
| 01:07:19 |
'Scuse me. |
| 01:07:22 |
'Scuse me. |
| 01:07:24 |
[Door closes] |
| 01:07:26 |
OK... but that's |
| 01:07:30 |
Here we go, here we go. |
| 01:07:32 |
Uh, launder. |
| 01:07:36 |
"To conceal the source |
| 01:07:40 |
"as by channelling it through |
| 01:07:43 |
"To conceal..." |
| 01:07:45 |
SAMIR: That doesn't really |
| 01:07:47 |
PETER: I can't believe |
| 01:07:49 |
We're looking up money |
| 01:07:51 |
Yeah, well, you guys |
| 01:07:56 |
I can't believe Joanna |
| 01:07:57 |
That's what I can't believe. |
| 01:07:58 |
- Yeah. You didn't know that? |
| 01:08:01 |
MICHAEL: A couple of years ago, |
| 01:08:06 |
You mean Ron Lumbergh, |
| 01:08:10 |
Yeah. |
| 01:08:14 |
Her fucking... Her children |
| 01:08:18 |
Ron's not related to Bill, |
| 01:08:20 |
[Knock on door] |
| 01:08:21 |
SAMIR: Who's that? |
| 01:08:24 |
All right, nobody panic. |
| 01:08:26 |
Probably just Lawrence. |
| 01:08:30 |
Good evening, sir. |
| 01:08:32 |
I come from a rough area. |
| 01:08:34 |
I used to be addicted |
| 01:08:35 |
but now I'm off |
| 01:08:37 |
That is why I'm selling |
| 01:08:40 |
- No, no. |
| 01:08:42 |
MICHAEL: You used to be |
| 01:08:45 |
Yeah. Um... |
| 01:08:48 |
Look, I'm very sorry. |
| 01:08:50 |
I do not know anything |
| 01:08:52 |
MICHAEL: We're not asking you |
| 01:08:55 |
All we need is for you |
| 01:08:56 |
PETER: If he doesn't |
| 01:08:58 |
SAMIR: No. Wait a minute. |
| 01:09:00 |
Look, you just give us |
| 01:09:03 |
I could talk to him. |
| 01:09:05 |
STEVE: I lied. |
| 01:09:06 |
All that stuff I said |
| 01:09:09 |
just helps me sell magazines. |
| 01:09:12 |
I'm actually an unemployed |
| 01:09:18 |
- You're a software engineer? |
| 01:09:21 |
Things, they must be |
| 01:09:23 |
Actually, man... |
| 01:09:25 |
I make more money selling |
| 01:09:27 |
than I ever did at Initrode. |
| 01:09:28 |
Heh. At Initrode? |
| 01:09:30 |
Wait a minute, |
| 01:09:32 |
about all this stuff |
| 01:09:34 |
I mean, we know a lot of |
| 01:09:39 |
Actually, um, |
| 01:09:46 |
What am I gonna do with |
| 01:09:50 |
MICHAEL: |
| 01:09:51 |
What were we thinking? |
| 01:09:54 |
You know what I can't |
| 01:09:55 |
How is it that all these stupid |
| 01:09:58 |
can be so good at crime... |
| 01:09:59 |
and smart guys like us |
| 01:10:02 |
SAMIR: We're new to it, though. |
| 01:10:03 |
If we had more experience... |
| 01:10:06 |
No. You know what I think? |
| 01:10:09 |
I think |
| 01:10:11 |
all over that building |
| 01:10:13 |
Even if we could launder money, |
| 01:10:15 |
What we've done is bad enough. |
| 01:10:16 |
We get caught |
| 01:10:18 |
we're not going |
| 01:10:20 |
No. We're going to federal |
| 01:10:23 |
SAMIR: I don't want to go |
| 01:10:25 |
Why the hell did I do this? |
| 01:10:27 |
I've never done anything wrong |
| 01:10:29 |
We weren't thinking clearly... |
| 01:10:31 |
because you told us |
| 01:10:33 |
Now look at us, we're worried |
| 01:10:35 |
Don't worry about it. |
| 01:10:37 |
[Hisses] |
| 01:10:39 |
I'm going home. |
| 01:10:41 |
Me, too. |
| 01:10:44 |
You are a very... |
| 01:11:06 |
[Knocks] |
| 01:11:07 |
Lawrence, you awake? |
| 01:11:08 |
LAWRENCE: Yeah. |
| 01:11:11 |
You wanna come over? |
| 01:11:13 |
LAWRENCE: No, thanks, man. |
| 01:11:14 |
I don't want you |
| 01:11:18 |
[Crickets chirping] |
| 01:11:21 |
In light of the senselessness |
| 01:11:24 |
that you have committed |
| 01:11:26 |
I hereby sentence you, |
| 01:11:29 |
and Samir Naan... Nanadajibad... |
| 01:11:34 |
to a term of no less |
| 01:11:36 |
in a federal |
| 01:11:43 |
Peter Gibbons... |
| 01:11:45 |
you've led a trite |
| 01:11:50 |
and you're a very bad person. |
| 01:11:54 |
[Bang] |
| 01:12:28 |
Hey. |
| 01:12:31 |
You're not working |
| 01:12:33 |
JOANNA: No, no. I got fired. |
| 01:12:36 |
- What happened? |
| 01:12:38 |
JOANNA: Some customers... |
| 01:12:40 |
Actually, a line cook... |
| 01:12:42 |
but he just happened |
| 01:12:45 |
I might be going away |
| 01:12:47 |
Uh... to jail. |
| 01:12:51 |
You were right |
| 01:12:53 |
That was a bad idea. |
| 01:12:54 |
I'm gonna take the blame for it, |
| 01:12:58 |
I'm on my way now |
| 01:13:00 |
and leave the confession |
| 01:13:04 |
Joanna, I want to apologise. |
| 01:13:06 |
I had no right to get pissed off |
| 01:13:08 |
Lumbergh is not my problem. |
| 01:13:10 |
It wasn't even |
| 01:13:12 |
I don't know why I can't just... |
| 01:13:16 |
like I'm supposed to, |
| 01:13:18 |
Peter, most people |
| 01:13:20 |
But you go out there and find |
| 01:13:24 |
Yeah. Well... |
| 01:13:28 |
I may never be happy |
| 01:13:30 |
but I think that if |
| 01:13:32 |
that I could be happy |
| 01:13:34 |
I've been a real asshole. |
| 01:13:36 |
But, if you'd give it |
| 01:13:39 |
OK, shut up. |
| 01:13:45 |
BRIAN: |
| 01:13:48 |
Get a room, you two! Ha ha! |
| 01:13:53 |
I hate that guy. |
| 01:14:44 |
MILTON: Then Mr. Lumbergh |
| 01:14:46 |
and then payroll told me |
| 01:14:49 |
And I still haven't received |
| 01:14:51 |
And he took my stapler, |
| 01:14:54 |
And then they moved my desk |
| 01:14:56 |
And there was |
| 01:14:58 |
Why don't you go back down |
| 01:15:01 |
Mr. Lumbergh |
| 01:15:02 |
- Mr. Lumbergh... |
| 01:15:05 |
OK. But, I... I'm gonna just... |
| 01:15:08 |
[Mumbling] |
| 01:15:15 |
I have to take |
| 01:15:17 |
because I told him |
| 01:15:25 |
It's my stapler. |
| 01:15:27 |
A Swingline, the brand |
| 01:15:48 |
[Knocks] |
| 01:15:49 |
Lawrence, you in there? |
| 01:15:52 |
Whoa. Hey, Peter, man. |
| 01:15:54 |
PETER: Hey. |
| 01:15:56 |
So, I might be going away |
| 01:15:58 |
LAWRENCE: Yeah, I know, man. |
| 01:16:00 |
It's a bummer, dude. |
| 01:16:02 |
Yeah. Yeah. |
| 01:16:06 |
Well, time to go face the music. |
| 01:16:09 |
You take care of yourself |
| 01:16:12 |
You too, man. |
| 01:16:14 |
All right. |
| 01:16:17 |
Hey, Peter. |
| 01:16:18 |
Yeah? |
| 01:16:21 |
Watch out for your cornhole, |
| 01:16:24 |
OK, Lawrence. |
| 01:16:25 |
[Sirens] |
| 01:16:38 |
MAN: Stay clear, now. |
| 01:16:41 |
PETER: Holy shit. |
| 01:17:50 |
PETER: Wait a minute. |
| 01:17:53 |
You don't want that, Peter, man. |
| 01:17:54 |
That's toasted, man. |
| 01:17:56 |
PETER: I think I know someone |
| 01:18:07 |
[Honk honk] |
| 01:18:10 |
Hey, man. |
| 01:18:12 |
Wanna go to lunch? |
| 01:18:15 |
PETER: Brought mine in a pail... |
| 01:18:16 |
plus Joanna's supposed |
| 01:18:19 |
SAMIR: |
| 01:18:22 |
PETER: Not too bad, not too bad. |
| 01:18:24 |
How's Penetrode? |
| 01:18:25 |
MICHAEL: Initrode. |
| 01:18:27 |
They're all right. |
| 01:18:28 |
SAMIR: It's work. |
| 01:18:30 |
PETER: Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:18:31 |
MICHAEL: |
| 01:18:33 |
PETER: No, thanks. I, uh... |
| 01:18:35 |
I'm doing good here. |
| 01:18:38 |
So, uh... |
| 01:18:42 |
Yeah. |
| 01:18:44 |
I think the fire pretty much |
| 01:18:47 |
I wonder if the money burn up. |
| 01:18:49 |
It would be shame. |
| 01:18:51 |
Yeah. |
| 01:18:52 |
SAMIR: So you sure you don't |
| 01:18:55 |
That's one thing |
| 01:19:00 |
MICHAEL: All right, chief. |
| 01:19:02 |
PETER: |
| 01:19:03 |
MICHAEL: All right. |
| 01:19:06 |
Stay in touch, man. |
| 01:19:07 |
PETER: OK. Will do. |
| 01:19:12 |
PETER: This isn't so bad, huh? |
| 01:19:15 |
Making bucks, getting exercise, |
| 01:19:20 |
Fuckin' "A." |
| 01:19:24 |
Fuckin' "A." |
| 01:19:44 |
MILTON: |
| 01:19:46 |
May I speak to you, please? |
| 01:19:48 |
I asked for a mai tai, |
| 01:19:50 |
And I said no salt, no salt... |
| 01:19:53 |
for the margarita, |
| 01:19:54 |
Lo siento mucho, señor. |
| 01:19:57 |
I won't be leaving a tip, |
| 01:20:00 |
I could shut |
| 01:20:02 |
Sir? |
| 01:20:04 |
I'll take my traveller's cheques |
| 01:20:10 |
I could write a letter |
| 01:20:12 |
I could have this place |
| 01:20:15 |
I could put, I could put |
| 01:20:19 |
There was salt on the glass, |
| 01:20:36 |
DREW: Give a ride |
| 01:20:38 |
Aaaah! |
| 01:20:54 |
LAWRENCE: Don't come back |
| 01:20:56 |
Ha ha ha. You big fag. |
| 01:21:20 |
JOANNA: I'm working |
| 01:21:21 |
and it's very cool. |
