Antichrist

en
00:06:48 How are you?
00:06:53 Didn't we just talk about that?
00:06:57 That was yesterday.
00:06:59 Today is Tuesday.
00:07:04 So I've been here long?
00:07:09 A month.
00:07:15 Wayne says that
00:07:18 my grief pattern is atypical.
00:07:26 Yeah.
00:07:33 Gotta talk with Wayne.
00:07:36 I think he gives you too much medication,
00:07:41 Stop it, please.
00:07:43 Trust others to be smarter than you.
00:07:45 He's straight out of medical school,
00:07:48 I've treated ten times
00:07:53 But you're not a doctor.
00:07:56 No, I'm not.
00:07:59 And I'm proud that I'm not
00:08:04 There is nothing atypical about your grief.
00:08:17 It was my fault.
00:08:22 What about me?
00:08:24 I was there, too.
00:08:25 I could have stopped him.
00:08:28 No.
00:08:33 You didn't know that he
00:08:41 I was aware that he would sometimes
00:08:44 wake up
00:08:48 and crawl out of bed...
00:08:50 and walk about...
00:08:54 just as you thought
00:08:57 He could open the baby gate.
00:09:02 He...
00:09:03 He woke up...
00:09:08 and... was confused...
00:09:20 Hey!
00:09:42 Dr. Wayne says he wants me back home.
00:09:48 You couldn't leave it, could you?
00:09:50 You had to meddle.
00:09:51 This place leads nowhere.
00:09:54 On the contrary.
00:09:57 Grief...
00:10:00 It's not a disease,
00:10:01 it's a natural, healthy reaction.
00:10:04 You can't just remove it, you mustn't.
00:10:07 Wayne knows you're a therapist.
00:10:10 He says you shouldn't treat your own family.
00:10:13 In principle I agree, but...
00:10:16 But you're just so much smarter, aren't you?
00:10:21 I love you.
00:10:25 Nothing hurts more than
00:10:29 subjected to mistakes and wrongs.
00:10:32 No therapist can know
00:12:51 - It hurts.
00:12:55 There's no way around it.
00:13:01 I want to talk to -
00:13:03 I'm not gonna let you do that.
00:13:10 Will it just go on and on?
00:13:12 No. No, it'll change.
00:13:18 Will it get any worse?
00:13:21 Yes, it will.
00:13:44 You've always been distant from me and Nick.
00:13:49 Ever I come to think of it...
00:13:52 very, very distant.
00:13:55 Okay.
00:13:57 Can you give me some examples from this?
00:14:03 Hell, that's not that difficult to understand.
00:14:09 Last summer, for instance...
00:14:14 You were terribly distant last summer.
00:14:18 As a father, and as a husband.
00:14:22 And that was Nick's last summer
00:14:24 you missed that on.
00:14:27 Too bad.
00:14:32 I never interested you...
00:14:35 until now...
00:14:37 that I'm your patient.
00:14:41 Perhaps I'm not supposed to
00:14:45 There is nothing you can't talk about.
00:14:50 You're indifferent to whether
00:15:02 I bet you have a lot of clever
00:15:12 Well, actually...
00:15:15 it was to honor your wish.
00:15:18 You wanted peace to write.
00:15:21 Perhaps I didn't mean it.
00:15:23 What I understood...
00:15:27 is that you wanted to write alone.
00:15:29 That you and Nick were going to go to Eden,
00:15:32 just the two of you.
00:15:34 That way, you could finish your thesis.
00:15:39 But I didn't.
00:15:42 You didn't?
00:15:44 You see?
00:15:46 You didn't even know that.
00:15:47 Why did you give up? That's not like you.
00:15:50 The whole project just seemed
00:15:54 As you said,
00:15:57 "Glib".
00:15:59 I never called your subject "glib".
00:16:01 Perhaps you didn't use that word,
00:16:05 And all of a sudden, it was glib.
00:16:11 Or even was some, some kind of lie.
00:16:14 I see.
00:16:16 No, you don't see.
00:16:18 You see a lot of things, but not that.
00:17:49 Inhale. On a count of five...
00:17:54 call me, call me.
00:17:55 Just... follow me, do it with me. Inhale.
00:18:00 Inhale, on a count to five...
00:18:04 Inhale. Two...
00:18:11 Stay with me, stay with me.
00:18:15 Inhale.
00:18:17 2, 3, 4, 5, hold.
00:18:22 2, 3, 4, 5, exhale.
00:18:26 2, 3, 4- good.
00:18:28 Imagine,
00:18:29 imagine you're blowing
00:18:34 calmly, quietly...
00:18:39 Yes, yes, that's good. That's good.
00:18:47 That's very good.
00:18:49 I told you there would be a change.
00:18:52 You're still mourning
00:19:01 What phase?
00:19:02 Anxiety.
00:19:05 Anxiety?
00:19:06 Yes.
00:19:08 This is physical.
00:19:13 It's dangerous.
00:19:14 No, it's not dangerous.
00:19:17 Just as your grief wasn't dangerous.
00:19:20 A main part of anxiety is physical:
00:19:24 Dizzy spells,
00:19:26 dry mouth,
00:19:28 distorted hearing,
00:19:30 trembling,
00:19:31 heavy breathing,
00:19:33 fast pulse,
00:19:34 nausea...
00:19:46 Hey!
00:19:53 Easy.
00:19:54 Never screw your therapist.
00:19:57 No matter how much
00:20:02 I know it distracts you, but
00:20:04 it's not good for us.
00:20:05 Do the breathing.
00:20:08 Hold...
00:20:12 Exhale.
00:20:15 Do you love me?
00:20:17 Yes, I do.
00:20:21 Then help me.
00:20:26 It's what I'm doing.
00:20:35 Exposure - that's the only thing
00:20:40 Everything else is... just talk.
00:20:45 You have to have the courage to stay
00:20:50 And then you'll learn
00:20:55 Let's make a list of things you're afraid of.
00:20:58 At the top, you put the situation
00:21:07 But I don't know what I'm afraid of.
00:21:11 Just... take your time.
00:21:16 I'm thinking.
00:21:18 Okay.
00:21:25 I'm thinking, but...
00:21:29 Can't I just be afraid
00:22:31 No, no!
00:23:15 This won't do.
00:23:21 Stupe, stupidest thing I could do to you.
00:23:29 If you can't tell me...
00:23:32 what you're afraid of,
00:23:34 maybe it would be easier for you to tell me
00:23:36 where you're afraid?
00:23:38 Where would you feel most exposed?
00:23:43 What would be the worst place?
00:23:47 An apartment?
00:23:53 The street?
00:23:56 A store?
00:24:00 The park?
00:24:04 Visiting someone, maybe.
00:24:18 The woods.
00:24:21 The woods?
00:24:27 The woods, yes.
00:24:28 It's funny because
00:24:30 you were the one that always wanted
00:24:35 What scares you about the woods?
00:24:38 What frightens you... there?
00:24:44 Everything.
00:24:52 Tell me what you think
00:25:02 Eh?
00:25:06 Is it any woods in particular?
00:25:15 Eden.
00:25:16 Eden?
00:25:22 What do you say we put...
00:25:26 a garden around Eden,
00:25:32 No... Not quite at the top.
00:25:47 No.
00:25:55 Stop it.
00:25:57 Okay.
00:26:14 It's, it's okay.
00:26:16 - I'm sorry.
00:26:19 I don't know.
00:27:00 We can start by working on your expectations.
00:27:03 Close your eyes.
00:27:10 Feel the seat underneath you.
00:27:14 Feel yourself sinking down into it...
00:27:18 enfolding you...
00:27:21 It's a nice feeling.
00:27:25 What you feel is a pleasant warmth...
00:27:28 and heaviness.
00:27:32 Your breath is deep...
00:27:36 Regular... easing.
00:27:41 Now...
00:27:43 Imagine you're at Eden.
00:27:47 Imagine you arrived
00:27:53 Tell me what you see.
00:28:01 I'm at the bridge.
00:28:04 It's evening.
00:28:07 Almost no birds can be heard.
00:28:12 The water is running without a sound.
00:28:17 Darkness comes out anytime here.
00:28:22 I walk into it.
00:28:37 The little deers... are hiding,
00:28:44 Is it difficult to walk there?
00:28:48 No. Not really.
00:28:53 In fact, it's almost okay.
00:29:04 In among the trees,
00:29:07 on the slope,
00:29:10 there's a? foxhole.
00:29:16 How do you feel there?
00:29:21 I can't really tell.
00:29:24 It should be easy, passing.
00:29:27 And yet,
00:29:29 it's like walking through mud.
00:29:42 The trunk is thick.
00:29:47 The tree rots so slowly.
00:29:51 It has some strange kind of personality.
00:29:56 I've always found that.
00:30:03 Now...
00:30:06 Where are you, are you,
00:30:12 Yes, I am.
00:30:17 I'm walking up the path
00:30:22 Then don't go in.
00:30:24 Don't go in.
00:30:27 It's the outside you're afraid of.
00:30:28 Don't look around.
00:30:30 No.
00:30:33 Lie down on the green.
00:30:38 You want me to lie down?
00:30:39 Lie down on the grass.
00:30:44 On top of all the plants?
00:30:46 Yes, lie down on the plants.
00:31:02 Are you lying down?
00:31:05 Yes.
00:31:08 Good.
00:31:09 What is everything like around you?
00:31:14 Green.
00:31:16 It's all very green.
00:31:20 Good.
00:31:23 Now will you do what I ask you?
00:31:28 Yes.
00:31:30 What do you want me to do?
00:31:34 I want you...
00:31:36 to melt into the green.
00:31:40 Don't fight it.
00:31:42 Just - turn - green.
00:31:55 No matter what happens:
00:32:00 Let fear come, if it likes.
00:32:03 Remember: what the mind can
00:32:58 What's wrong?
00:33:00 Ground is burning.
00:33:02 The ground is not burning.
00:33:09 Gotta go.
00:33:30 I want to lie down, just for a minute.
00:33:36 Sure.
00:33:38 Yeah, we'll take a rest.
00:36:09 Shouldn't we go home?
00:36:17 Yeah.
00:36:20 Yeah, we should.
00:37:27 Slowly...
00:37:32 Stay with it.
00:37:38 I know it hurts.
00:37:40 Stay! Stay in there!
00:40:47 It's just the stupid acorns.
00:42:19 What are you doing?
00:42:21 I'm just...
00:42:24 setting up a little exercise.
00:42:28 It's... it's like a...
00:42:33 It's like a game.
00:42:34 You cheated me yesterday.
00:42:37 Running is not good.
00:42:38 You have to really feel the grass.
00:42:42 I want you to go from this stone...
00:42:45 to this stone.
00:42:48 Pretty scary, huh?
00:42:51 You're ready?
00:42:54 Yeah.
00:42:56 I'll give you a ride.
00:42:58 I'll put you on the first stone.
00:43:03 Stay with me.
00:43:06 Here we go.
00:43:07 Now put your foot down. I got you.
00:43:09 I got you. I'm right here.
00:43:12 I can't do this.
00:43:13 Yes, you can.
00:43:15 You can and you will. Just like I will.
00:43:18 We're gonna walk together.
00:43:20 We're gonna walk together, okay? Now...
00:43:23 Alright now, breathe.
00:43:25 Let's step off the rock.
00:43:27 And step on that grass.
00:43:30 Step down.
00:43:31 See? What happened?
00:43:34 Keep breathing. Keep, keep breathing.
00:43:36 I've got you.
00:43:38 You're really doing great.
00:43:39 Okay? Keep breathing.
00:43:42 Five, five and five.
00:43:48 You're almost there.
00:43:49 You're almost there. You're doing great.
00:43:54 ...Five.
00:44:00 We're there, we are there.
00:44:02 There, you told me.
00:44:08 You did it.
00:44:13 You learned something.
00:44:17 Didn't you?
00:44:22 You did beautifully.
00:44:25 You did beautifully.
00:45:16 I miss him so much.
00:45:38 I've been afraid of here before.
00:45:41 Yes, it seems likely.
00:45:46 I just didn't know it was fear.
00:45:53 I became afraid, and I stopped writing.
00:45:59 What was different, the last time?
00:46:07 I heard a sound.
00:46:29 Nick?
00:46:34 Nick!
00:46:41 Nick!
00:46:52 Nick!
00:47:00 Nick!
00:48:04 You didn't hear Nick screaming.
00:48:10 Apparently not.
00:48:12 And because you experienced something
00:48:16 you placed Eden very high
00:48:24 Eden was the catalyst
00:48:27 You jumped to conclusions...
00:48:29 and tied the emotional event with a place.
00:48:33 When you feel threat, it's natural to react.
00:48:36 If the danger were real,
00:48:40 because your adrenaline would
00:48:45 But what you're experiencing
00:48:49 The scream wasn't real.
00:49:01 Stop!
00:49:06 Calm down.
00:49:08 You shouldn't have come here.
00:49:11 You're just so damn arrogant.
00:49:15 But this may not last.
00:49:19 Have you thought of that?
00:49:31 Oak trees grow to be hundreds of years old.
00:49:36 They only have to produce one single tree
00:49:42 May sound benign to you, but
00:49:44 it was a big thing for me to realize that
00:49:54 The acorns fell on the roof then, too...
00:49:59 kept falling, and falling,
00:50:03 and dying, and dying.
00:50:11 And I understood that...
00:50:15 everything that used to be
00:50:19 was perhaps hideous.
00:50:24 Now I could hear
00:50:31 The cry of all the things that are to die.
00:50:39 It's all... very touching...
00:50:44 if it was a children's book.
00:50:50 Acorns don't cry.
00:50:53 You know that as well as I do.
00:50:56 That's what fear is.
00:50:59 Your thoughts distort reality...
00:51:03 not the other way around.
00:51:11 Satan's Church -
00:51:12 Satan? Jesus!
00:51:14 Nature is Satan's Church.
00:51:17 What?
00:51:22 Well, there you have him.
00:51:25 That was his brother.
00:51:57 Nick?
00:52:00 He drifted away from me the last time.
00:52:05 He was always out and about.
00:52:08 He might have made more of an effort
00:54:10 You look like you slept well.
00:54:13 Thanks, I did.
00:54:21 I just wanted to say how happy
00:54:28 I love you, darling.
00:54:39 Did you have a good sleep?
00:54:43 I've just been having a lot of...
00:54:45 crazy dreams.
00:54:48 Dreams are of no interest
00:54:52 Freud is dead, isn't he?
00:54:57 Yeah.
00:55:13 What are you doing?
00:55:15 Look!
00:55:19 I'm well again.
00:55:29 I'm cured.
00:55:32 I see clearer.
00:55:37 I'm fine.
00:55:45 You can't just be happy for me, can you?
00:57:54 Chaos reigns.
01:02:07 I'd like to do one more exercise.
01:02:09 It's like role playing.
01:02:13 My role...
01:02:14 is...
01:02:16 all the thoughts that provoke your fear...
01:02:19 Yours...
01:02:20 is rational thinking.
01:02:27 I am nature...
01:02:30 All the things that you call nature.
01:02:39 Okay, Mr. Nature.
01:02:44 What do you want?
01:02:49 To hurt you as much as I can.
01:02:57 How?
01:03:00 How do you think?
01:03:09 By frightening me?
01:03:14 By killing you.
01:03:18 Nature can't harm me.
01:03:20 You're just the whole greenery outside.
01:03:23 No, I'm more than that.
01:03:27 I don't understand.
01:03:30 I'm outside, but also...
01:03:36 within.
01:03:40 I'm nature of all human beings.
01:03:43 Oh, that kind of nature.
01:03:50 The kind of nature that
01:03:51 causes people to do
01:03:55 That's exactly who I am.
01:03:58 That kind of nature interested me
01:04:04 That kind of nature
01:04:10 But you shouldn't underestimate Eden.
01:04:15 What did Eden do?
01:04:17 I discovered something else
01:04:23 If human nature is evil,
01:04:27 then that goes as well...
01:04:28 for the nature of...
01:04:31 Of the women?
01:04:35 Female nature?
01:04:37 The nature of all the sisters.
01:04:41 Women do not control their own bodies -
01:04:47 I have it in writing in my books.
01:04:50 The literature that you used in your research
01:04:55 But you read it as proof of the evil of women?
01:04:59 You were supposed to be critical of
01:05:03 Instead you're embracing it.
01:05:05 Do you know what you're saying?
01:05:09 Forget it.
01:05:11 I do not know why I said it.
01:05:14 I can't work anymore now.
01:05:27 Hit me.
01:05:29 What?
01:05:30 Hit me so it hurts.
01:05:33 No.
01:05:34 Hit me, please.
01:05:36 No!
01:05:37 I can't stand it.
01:05:40 I don't want to. I don't want to.
01:05:54 Then you don't love me.
01:05:58 Okay.
01:06:01 Maybe I don't love you.
01:06:02 Yeah.
01:06:58 Again.
01:07:00 Again.
01:07:06 The Sisters from Regensburg
01:07:08 could start a hail storm.
01:07:52 I'm not gonna continue this
01:07:57 Good and evil...
01:08:00 have nothing to do with therapy.
01:08:04 You know how many innocent women
01:08:08 just for being women?
01:08:10 I'm sure you do. Many.
01:08:13 Not because they were evil.
01:08:16 I know.
01:08:18 It's just, sometimes, I forget.
01:08:24 The evil you talk about is an obsession.
01:08:28 Obsessions never materialize.
01:08:32 Anxieties can't trick you into doing things
01:08:36 It's like hypnotism.
01:08:37 You can't be hypnotized into doing
01:08:42 normally do, something against your nature.
01:08:47 You understand me?
01:08:48 Yeah, I think so.
01:08:50 You think so? Well, you don't have to
01:09:13 What's this?
01:09:15 It's from the medical officer
01:09:21 The autopsy?
01:09:25 They performed an autopsy?
01:09:27 I didn't wanna tell you,
01:09:32 Well... What did they find?
01:09:36 Nothing that would have any...
01:09:37 bearing on the case.
01:09:40 The only abnormality
01:09:44 of the bones in his feet, of an earlier date.
01:09:49 We did not attach any significance to this.
01:10:06 You are aware that you put Nick's
01:10:15 It's right. How weird...
01:10:23 A slip of the mind that day?
01:10:25 How weird.
01:11:33 Herself.
01:11:38 Bastard! You're leaving me, aren't you?
01:11:43 You bastard!
01:11:45 You're leaving me!
01:11:47 I'm not.
01:11:48 I'm helping you.
01:11:49 - You're leaving me, aren't you?
01:12:05 - I love you.
01:12:07 Yes.
01:12:09 I don't believe you!
01:12:10 I don't fucking believe you!
01:17:16 Where are you?
01:17:21 You bastard!
01:17:24 Where are you?
01:17:35 Where are you?
01:17:50 Where are you?
01:18:00 Where are you?
01:18:07 You bastard!
01:18:19 Where are you?
01:18:24 Where are you?
01:18:29 How dare you leave me?
01:18:42 You said you wanted to help me.
01:18:46 Where are you?
01:18:51 Where are you?
01:20:15 Where are you?
01:20:21 You bastard!
01:21:34 Get out!
01:21:35 Get out! You bastard!
01:21:39 Get out!
01:21:42 You bastard!
01:21:44 Get out!
01:21:47 Get out!
01:22:09 Get out!
01:22:12 You bastard!
01:22:15 Get out!
01:23:17 I'm sorry.
01:24:04 You gotta get this thing off... my leg.
01:24:30 I can't find the wrench.
01:25:37 Did you want to kill me?
01:25:40 Not yet.
01:25:44 The three beggars aren't here yet.
01:25:47 The three beggars?
01:25:51 What does that mean?
01:25:54 When the three beggars arrive,
01:26:01 I see.
01:26:26 The crying woman is a scheming woman.
01:26:41 False in legs,
01:26:46 False in breasts,
01:28:42 Hold me.
01:28:48 Hold me.
01:30:13 There is no such constellation.
01:30:43 But none of it is any use
01:30:45 None of it is any use.
01:30:52 No!
01:38:16 Subtitle made available by: Dr. Na'el Hariri