|
Other Guys The
|
| 00:00:47 |
In New Yotk City, |
| 00:00:52 |
On that line live Danson and Highsmith. |
| 00:00:58 |
Tell me again |
| 00:01:01 |
I think you can chalk that up |
| 00:01:21 |
Get rid of that asshole. |
| 00:01:22 |
-Uh-oh! |
| 00:01:34 |
Dude, you put a ding in my hood! |
| 00:01:40 |
Come on with it, then! |
| 00:01:47 |
Whoa, hey! |
| 00:01:56 |
That's trouble. |
| 00:02:12 |
Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit? |
| 00:02:25 |
That's it. I'm sick of all this running. |
| 00:02:35 |
Hang on! |
| 00:02:47 |
You have the right to remain silent! |
| 00:02:53 |
But I wanna hear you scream! |
| 00:03:11 |
Down on the ground! |
| 00:03:13 |
Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective! |
| 00:03:16 |
One at a time, all right? |
| 00:03:18 |
Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson, |
| 00:03:22 |
These suspects were caught |
| 00:03:25 |
a misdemeanor in some states. |
| 00:03:27 |
Do you think this arrest was worth |
| 00:03:30 |
Why don't we let New York City |
| 00:03:33 |
The greatest city on Earth, yeah! |
| 00:03:39 |
Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition. |
| 00:03:43 |
Danson, are the rumors about |
| 00:03:46 |
No comment. |
| 00:03:48 |
But, yes. |
| 00:03:51 |
Danson and Highsmith, |
| 00:03:58 |
No drinks. No drinks. |
| 00:04:03 |
Danson and Highsmith shoot, dtive, |
| 00:04:08 |
Then you got yout jokets, |
| 00:04:12 |
...and the othet guys. |
| 00:04:17 |
We know, we know. We know. |
| 00:04:20 |
All right, all right, all right. |
| 00:04:23 |
We're having a celebration tonight at Butter. |
| 00:04:26 |
Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling. |
| 00:04:29 |
-That little short bitch from Jetsey Shote. |
| 00:04:32 |
And most of you are on the list. |
| 00:04:35 |
You're the best. |
| 00:04:37 |
Guys, I'm gonna say something right now. |
| 00:04:39 |
It's about a man who came from Austria |
| 00:04:41 |
-Arnold Schwarzenegger! |
| 00:04:44 |
He became a champion |
| 00:04:47 |
-Arnold Schwarzenegger! |
| 00:04:49 |
They ruined the story. |
| 00:04:51 |
Let... What... The point is, |
| 00:04:53 |
we couldn't do our job if it weren't |
| 00:04:56 |
answering the phones, and all that |
| 00:04:58 |
All the gun fights, all the car chases, |
| 00:05:00 |
all the sex we don't wanna have with women, |
| 00:05:04 |
all due to what you guys do. Thank you. |
| 00:05:08 |
And we'd do it again and again. |
| 00:05:09 |
Hey, you shut your face! |
| 00:05:12 |
If we wanna hear you talk, |
| 00:05:13 |
I will shove my arm up your ass |
| 00:05:16 |
You hear me? You hear me? |
| 00:05:18 |
-Cash bar. |
| 00:05:20 |
Peace out, bitches. |
| 00:05:24 |
Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in. |
| 00:05:27 |
Come on. Bring it in a little bit. |
| 00:05:28 |
All right, right there. |
| 00:05:30 |
Just back up, just like right there. |
| 00:05:33 |
All right, just one... Just a... |
| 00:05:35 |
There you go, right there. Right there. |
| 00:05:38 |
This is their paperwork. |
| 00:05:40 |
That's right. |
| 00:05:43 |
It's thick, ugly, |
| 00:05:47 |
-No offense, Bob. |
| 00:05:48 |
-Anyway, now who wants it? |
| 00:05:50 |
All right! |
| 00:05:54 |
-Nice work. Thanks, Allen. |
| 00:05:55 |
"I'll do it! I'll do it!" |
| 00:06:07 |
Stop humming that song! |
| 00:06:10 |
-I can hum if I want to. |
| 00:06:13 |
I'm asking you to stop. |
| 00:06:14 |
-Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop. |
| 00:06:22 |
Could you not smile like that? |
| 00:06:24 |
Now you're asking me to mask my emotions |
| 00:06:27 |
That I will not do. |
| 00:06:33 |
Seriously, stop humming! Okay? |
| 00:06:36 |
This isn't accounting or wherever the hell |
| 00:06:38 |
you and your little pocket calculator |
| 00:06:42 |
Forensic accounting, okay. |
| 00:06:45 |
Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy |
| 00:06:49 |
Hey, guys. Reminder. |
| 00:06:51 |
The police union picnic's |
| 00:06:54 |
My wife's making her famous |
| 00:06:59 |
It's a bad time, Bob! |
| 00:07:01 |
All right. |
| 00:07:04 |
Going to get a slice. |
| 00:07:17 |
You know what I just did? |
| 00:07:18 |
I just walked out that door, |
| 00:07:21 |
and I was about to start bad mouthing you |
| 00:07:23 |
but I stopped myself, |
| 00:07:26 |
that a man who talks |
| 00:07:28 |
Wow, I actually appreciate that. |
| 00:07:30 |
Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you |
| 00:07:32 |
-No. You don't have to. |
| 00:07:34 |
I think you're a fake cop. |
| 00:07:36 |
The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? |
| 00:07:40 |
If we were in the wild, I would attack you. |
| 00:07:43 |
Even if you weren't in my food chain, |
| 00:07:47 |
If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, |
| 00:07:49 |
I would swim out in the middle of the ocean |
| 00:07:52 |
And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend. |
| 00:07:55 |
Okay, first off, |
| 00:08:00 |
Lions don't like water. |
| 00:08:01 |
If you'd placed it near a river or some sort |
| 00:08:05 |
But you find yourself in the ocean, |
| 00:08:08 |
I'm assuming |
| 00:08:10 |
coming up against a full-grown, |
| 00:08:15 |
You lose that battle. |
| 00:08:16 |
You lose that battle nine times out of ten. |
| 00:08:19 |
You've wandered into our school of tuna, |
| 00:08:24 |
We've talked to ourselves. |
| 00:08:26 |
-Yeah? |
| 00:08:28 |
"Lion tastes good. |
| 00:08:31 |
We've developed a system |
| 00:08:33 |
and aggressively hunt you and your family. |
| 00:08:36 |
And we will corner your pride, |
| 00:08:39 |
-your children, your offspring. |
| 00:08:41 |
We will construct a series |
| 00:08:44 |
We will be able to trap |
| 00:08:47 |
It's not gonna be days at a time, |
| 00:08:51 |
That will give us enough time |
| 00:08:54 |
go back to the sea, get more oxygen, |
| 00:08:57 |
You just lost at your own game. |
| 00:09:04 |
Did that go |
| 00:09:07 |
Nope. |
| 00:09:16 |
Two minutes before the markets open, |
| 00:09:17 |
Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global, |
| 00:09:21 |
With Boatdman is investment banket, |
| 00:09:23 |
who manages 40% |
| 00:09:27 |
How much did we lose? |
| 00:09:30 |
You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman. |
| 00:09:32 |
-$32. |
| 00:09:34 |
No, billion. |
| 00:09:39 |
Shit! |
| 00:09:41 |
Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. |
| 00:09:46 |
-Bang, bang. |
| 00:09:47 |
Then I raise up to take the leader out. |
| 00:09:49 |
Shit, I feel like I'm there now. |
| 00:09:51 |
I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof. |
| 00:09:53 |
He says, "Let's even the odds!" |
| 00:09:55 |
He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. |
| 00:10:01 |
Game over, bitches. |
| 00:10:04 |
-All right. |
| 00:10:07 |
Jimmy? Let's talk about |
| 00:10:12 |
Like my cock was made out of concrete. |
| 00:10:15 |
I know it's very tempting. |
| 00:10:17 |
You want to impress your friends. |
| 00:10:19 |
But this is serious stuff |
| 00:10:22 |
This is firing your weapon |
| 00:10:25 |
Officer Hoitz? |
| 00:10:27 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:10:28 |
-Come on! |
| 00:10:30 |
Would you like to share? |
| 00:10:31 |
No, I'd rather not. |
| 00:10:33 |
Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here |
| 00:10:35 |
and you haven't said a word. |
| 00:10:37 |
This is a safe room, no judgment here. |
| 00:10:39 |
Jerkoff. |
| 00:10:41 |
That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on. |
| 00:10:43 |
I relive it every night. |
| 00:10:46 |
Btonx, Octobet. |
| 00:10:48 |
Game 7 of the Wotld Seties. |
| 00:10:50 |
For all the marbles. High pressure, |
| 00:10:53 |
I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel. |
| 00:10:56 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area! |
| 00:10:58 |
Finally pulled my gun. |
| 00:10:59 |
Pulled a deadly weapon. |
| 00:11:01 |
Don't make me shoot! I'll do it! |
| 00:11:04 |
Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"? |
| 00:11:06 |
You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me! |
| 00:11:09 |
-You cost me 20 grand on that game! |
| 00:11:12 |
Cost the city a championship. |
| 00:11:14 |
I was being groomed |
| 00:11:16 |
Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner. |
| 00:11:19 |
Because you shot Derek Jeter! |
| 00:11:21 |
He's a biracial angel. |
| 00:11:22 |
You should've shot A-Rod. |
| 00:11:31 |
Yo, Paper Bitch. |
| 00:11:33 |
-What's up, man? |
| 00:11:35 |
-Paper Bitch. |
| 00:11:37 |
I don't like that, actually. |
| 00:11:38 |
I know you guys think it's fun, |
| 00:11:40 |
Still working on |
| 00:11:41 |
-Shit. |
| 00:11:43 |
What is this? That looks stupid. |
| 00:11:45 |
Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction. |
| 00:11:49 |
Some of the guys were talking. |
| 00:11:50 |
They were like, "How come you've never |
| 00:11:53 |
Good point. |
| 00:11:55 |
I'm sorry, I don't follow. |
| 00:11:56 |
You've never fired your weapon |
| 00:11:58 |
We all have, you know. |
| 00:12:00 |
Fellas, look, I know |
| 00:12:03 |
-Not true. |
| 00:12:04 |
I'm not gonna discharge my firearm |
| 00:12:06 |
Gamble, listen to me. |
| 00:12:08 |
We honor the flag, and you crap on it |
| 00:12:12 |
Jimmy. |
| 00:12:14 |
September '08. |
| 00:12:17 |
-Be a man. Do it. |
| 00:12:19 |
-Please, please, do it. |
| 00:12:20 |
-There you go. Pop it off! |
| 00:12:22 |
-Here we go. |
| 00:12:26 |
He did it! |
| 00:12:27 |
Hey! Shots fired! |
| 00:12:29 |
Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop! |
| 00:12:32 |
It's a real thing, right? |
| 00:12:34 |
-A desk pop? |
| 00:12:36 |
No, that's not real! |
| 00:12:37 |
They were so convincing in their argument, |
| 00:12:44 |
All right, Allen, |
| 00:12:46 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:12:47 |
Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy, |
| 00:12:51 |
All right, I'm gonna give you this. |
| 00:12:54 |
There. |
| 00:12:57 |
You get this back |
| 00:13:01 |
Listen, guys. |
| 00:13:05 |
And I got another job |
| 00:13:08 |
I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU |
| 00:13:11 |
so he can explore his bisexuality |
| 00:13:15 |
Now the last thing I need |
| 00:13:18 |
I'm just gonna ask you guys, |
| 00:13:21 |
Just think about... Just be smart. |
| 00:13:52 |
211 in ptogtess. |
| 00:13:54 |
They'te using a wtecking ball |
| 00:13:57 |
All right, we got it. |
| 00:13:58 |
-Good luck, guys. Have a good one. |
| 00:14:01 |
-No, I got work to do. |
| 00:14:04 |
Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith. |
| 00:14:07 |
You cream puffs, sit tight. |
| 00:14:09 |
You gotta be shitting me! |
| 00:14:11 |
You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay? |
| 00:14:13 |
I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly! |
| 00:14:23 |
Did he just... |
| 00:14:28 |
Let's go! Let's go! |
| 00:14:33 |
Come on, fellas! |
| 00:14:34 |
Wednesday night is taco night |
| 00:14:50 |
That's the second one this week! |
| 00:14:53 |
Hey, you monkeys! Stop! |
| 00:14:56 |
Let's go! |
| 00:14:58 |
Yeah! |
| 00:14:59 |
Heads up! |
| 00:15:01 |
Shit. |
| 00:15:16 |
Special Forces zipline. |
| 00:15:18 |
Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go! |
| 00:15:21 |
-These guys are pros. |
| 00:15:23 |
You thinking what I'm thinking, partner? |
| 00:15:25 |
Aim for the bushes. |
| 00:15:54 |
Cops still atgue to this day |
| 00:15:58 |
Maybe it was just ptide, having sutvived |
| 00:16:02 |
Maybe theit egos pushed them off. |
| 00:16:04 |
I don't know. But that shit was ctazy. |
| 00:16:07 |
Eithet way, thete was a hole |
| 00:16:12 |
Two days ago, this city wept. |
| 00:16:14 |
We lost two hetoes |
| 00:16:18 |
who paid that ultimate sactifice |
| 00:16:24 |
There wasn't even an awning |
| 00:16:25 |
-No, I know. |
| 00:16:28 |
Doesn't make sense, does it? |
| 00:16:29 |
I only hope God lets them take theit.357s |
| 00:16:33 |
It's our moment, Allen. |
| 00:16:37 |
-We're at a funeral. Show some respect. |
| 00:16:40 |
You don't think every other detective here |
| 00:16:46 |
Allen, listen to me. |
| 00:16:48 |
Their desks are empty. |
| 00:16:51 |
That someone is us, okay? |
| 00:16:55 |
-ls it? |
| 00:16:56 |
What about nine million |
| 00:17:00 |
all just stepping up and doing their part? |
| 00:17:02 |
As a little kid, didn't you dress up |
| 00:17:04 |
I'll tell you what I did as a little kid. |
| 00:17:07 |
I went to school and made my bed. |
| 00:17:09 |
And at age 11, I audited my parents. |
| 00:17:12 |
And believe me, there were some |
| 00:17:15 |
What the hell are you? |
| 00:17:17 |
Well, well, well. What do we got here? |
| 00:17:20 |
Look at these two jamokes, would you? |
| 00:17:27 |
Have some decorum. We're at a funeral. |
| 00:17:30 |
You wanna dance, brolio? |
| 00:17:33 |
I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks. |
| 00:17:37 |
That's horrible. |
| 00:17:38 |
Why don't you step back, man? |
| 00:17:39 |
You touch him, I swear to God |
| 00:17:41 |
I'm gonna beat the shit out of you |
| 00:17:43 |
He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole. |
| 00:17:45 |
-You wanna go? |
| 00:17:49 |
-Get him off. |
| 00:17:51 |
Yeah. How do you like that? |
| 00:17:53 |
-Pull his hair! |
| 00:17:55 |
This hurts so good. |
| 00:17:58 |
-Very sorry for your loss, ma'am. |
| 00:18:00 |
I love your shoes. |
| 00:18:02 |
-It's fine, it's fine. |
| 00:18:04 |
Punish him! |
| 00:18:06 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:18:08 |
Do it. That's how we do it in the hood. |
| 00:18:10 |
-Punish him. |
| 00:18:13 |
I'm the winner. |
| 00:18:15 |
What the hell is going on here? |
| 00:18:17 |
Two good men are dead, |
| 00:18:19 |
and you guys are fighting over |
| 00:18:22 |
Is that what's happening? |
| 00:18:23 |
Yes, that's exactly what's happening. |
| 00:18:26 |
Let me tell you something. |
| 00:18:28 |
-Sorry for your loss, Lorraine. |
| 00:18:30 |
-Sorry, Lorraine. |
| 00:18:33 |
Hi, I'm Jimmy. |
| 00:18:35 |
-Too soon? |
| 00:18:37 |
I'll tell you something about those guys. |
| 00:18:40 |
They knew that to become a good cop, |
| 00:18:45 |
Okay, and maybe you start |
| 00:18:48 |
Okay? So just watch it. |
| 00:18:52 |
Next time, me, you, library. |
| 00:18:54 |
-Not even close. |
| 00:18:57 |
-You are... |
| 00:18:59 |
I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay? |
| 00:19:02 |
Hey, don't flatter yourself. |
| 00:19:06 |
Move. |
| 00:19:16 |
-9:15, let's have a great day, everybody! |
| 00:19:26 |
Good morning. |
| 00:19:28 |
We've got shots fited. 509 East 10th Stteet. |
| 00:19:32 |
Thete ate latge amounts of cocaine |
| 00:19:34 |
Tty to stay out of ttouble, boys. |
| 00:19:35 |
There's no chance |
| 00:19:37 |
No chance. Too busy. |
| 00:19:39 |
All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture? |
| 00:19:43 |
-That's right. |
| 00:19:45 |
Go get them, guys. |
| 00:19:47 |
Shut up! |
| 00:19:48 |
Allen, could I see you in the hallway |
| 00:19:51 |
I... I'm super busy right now, Terry. |
| 00:19:52 |
No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick. |
| 00:19:54 |
It's about the construction permits |
| 00:19:56 |
-The scaffolding violations? |
| 00:20:00 |
So, what do you got? |
| 00:20:02 |
I got this! I'll put one right in your neck. |
| 00:20:04 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:20:05 |
Let's go. We're going to that call. |
| 00:20:08 |
-What is this? |
| 00:20:10 |
We're going to the car, |
| 00:20:12 |
-You're not gonna shoot me. |
| 00:20:14 |
-No. |
| 00:20:15 |
-That was an accident. |
| 00:20:17 |
-Now move. |
| 00:20:20 |
Hey. |
| 00:20:21 |
Does anybody see this? |
| 00:20:24 |
I'm being kidnapped. |
| 00:20:26 |
Really, we're in a police station |
| 00:20:30 |
-So, then what happened? |
| 00:20:32 |
I woke up, I took the belt off my neck, |
| 00:20:36 |
Talk about a wild weekend, right? |
| 00:20:37 |
I thought I was gonna |
| 00:20:41 |
What are you gonna do, though, you know? |
| 00:20:45 |
What the hell is this? |
| 00:20:47 |
It's my car. It's a Prius. |
| 00:20:50 |
I feel like we're literally driving around |
| 00:20:54 |
Detective Hoitz and Gamble |
| 00:20:57 |
Negatory, Martin and Fosse, |
| 00:20:59 |
We'll just see who's there first. |
| 00:21:00 |
You stay out of our crime scene! |
| 00:21:03 |
Go, go, go! |
| 00:21:05 |
You feel that, Allen? |
| 00:21:08 |
Big metal butterflies fluttering around |
| 00:21:10 |
Are you sure |
| 00:21:12 |
I got something to get you going. |
| 00:21:17 |
Let's go do some damage! |
| 00:21:20 |
Nope. |
| 00:21:24 |
What the hell is that? |
| 00:21:25 |
LRB. Little River Band. |
| 00:21:28 |
This music makes me feel like |
| 00:21:30 |
You know what? |
| 00:21:33 |
-Fine. |
| 00:21:34 |
No, no, no, don't say bye... |
| 00:21:35 |
You just signed |
| 00:21:37 |
Allen, punch that accelerator |
| 00:21:41 |
America! |
| 00:21:42 |
Allen! Allen, hit the brake! |
| 00:21:46 |
Seriously, slow the car down! |
| 00:21:48 |
Terry, I'm coming in. |
| 00:21:50 |
You're gonna smash |
| 00:21:52 |
Dude! What... |
| 00:21:58 |
That's a lot of cocaine. |
| 00:22:01 |
Did you yell "America" |
| 00:22:05 |
Nope. No. No. |
| 00:22:07 |
I've never actually put my foot |
| 00:22:10 |
to the ground with the accelerator like that. |
| 00:22:15 |
It got me slightly aroused. |
| 00:22:19 |
Here we go. |
| 00:22:23 |
Way to put your stamp |
| 00:22:27 |
-Prius, huh? |
| 00:22:29 |
Good mileage? |
| 00:22:30 |
-Outstanding. |
| 00:22:32 |
Did this come with a dental dam? |
| 00:22:35 |
-No. |
| 00:22:39 |
My Suburban shit one of these last night. |
| 00:22:41 |
I didn't know they put tampons on wheels. |
| 00:22:44 |
We've had our fun, huh? |
| 00:22:45 |
Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car. |
| 00:22:49 |
All right, everybody! |
| 00:22:50 |
I'm gonna need you all to back up now. |
| 00:22:53 |
"At the crime scene, LOL." |
| 00:22:56 |
-Good tweet, good tweet. |
| 00:22:58 |
Ametica has always been defined |
| 00:23:03 |
The Gtand Canyon, |
| 00:23:05 |
Wendy's Baconatot, extta bacon. |
| 00:23:08 |
I myself have 18 Lambotghinis |
| 00:23:13 |
and a Subatu station wagon. |
| 00:23:15 |
And it's because of this excess |
| 00:23:18 |
I implote you, please, do not stop ptofiting. |
| 00:23:22 |
Live fot excess. It's the Ametican way. |
| 00:23:32 |
Hello. |
| 00:23:34 |
Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you. |
| 00:23:41 |
Sir David. |
| 00:23:42 |
David. You're not returning my calls, |
| 00:23:46 |
-G'day, mate. |
| 00:23:48 |
Roger and his team are gonna babysit you |
| 00:23:50 |
because I think you're going to take off. |
| 00:23:52 |
Pamela, this is ridiculous. |
| 00:23:55 |
David, listen, |
| 00:23:57 |
You have until then to give me my money. |
| 00:24:00 |
I have zeroed in on a new investor. |
| 00:24:02 |
Well, then, you get theit money, |
| 00:24:05 |
Yes, yes, I'll tell him |
| 00:24:09 |
-David! |
| 00:24:11 |
Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. |
| 00:24:16 |
Heard everything, mate. |
| 00:24:17 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:24:19 |
guess who gave me the secrets |
| 00:24:25 |
That man there. |
| 00:24:27 |
Go! Go! |
| 00:24:30 |
-Side! |
| 00:24:32 |
You don't think I'm a real cop, do you? |
| 00:24:34 |
No, I don't. I've said that |
| 00:24:36 |
I was really honest about that. |
| 00:24:38 |
I'm working on a huge case, all right? |
| 00:24:40 |
Property owner with seven buildings |
| 00:24:42 |
He hasn't applied |
| 00:24:46 |
Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp |
| 00:24:50 |
-That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? |
| 00:24:54 |
Guess what? You're coming with me. |
| 00:24:58 |
It's a wooden gun. |
| 00:25:02 |
That hurts, man! |
| 00:25:06 |
I've always got Little River Band |
| 00:25:11 |
Claude, meet me outside, |
| 00:25:14 |
I'm flying Air Singapore. |
| 00:25:17 |
-Hey, Douglas. How's the wife? |
| 00:25:18 |
Attaboy! |
| 00:25:19 |
I'll be there in two minutes exactly. |
| 00:25:22 |
Another thing I hate about you? |
| 00:25:25 |
You're just mad |
| 00:25:28 |
Why do you even care? |
| 00:25:29 |
How can I help it? You know what? |
| 00:25:32 |
The way you fart. |
| 00:25:34 |
You're being ridiculous. |
| 00:25:35 |
They sound like a baby blowing out |
| 00:25:38 |
-What? |
| 00:25:39 |
-You know what bugs me about you? |
| 00:25:41 |
I'm pretty sure you've never voted. |
| 00:25:43 |
No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880. |
| 00:25:46 |
You're like a child in a leather jacket. |
| 00:25:49 |
Get out of the way, man! |
| 00:25:50 |
Wait. Are you David Ershon? |
| 00:25:52 |
Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, |
| 00:25:55 |
Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen, |
| 00:25:58 |
-Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? |
| 00:26:02 |
You have the right to remain silent. |
| 00:26:07 |
-What's the next part? |
| 00:26:09 |
As a floatation device. |
| 00:26:10 |
You know what? That's very funny. |
| 00:26:14 |
-Really? |
| 00:26:16 |
Am I being punk'd? |
| 00:26:18 |
Detective Allen Gamble. |
| 00:26:20 |
We are in a cocaine-covered car, |
| 00:26:23 |
-One David Ershon. |
| 00:26:26 |
-Thank you. 175 pounds. |
| 00:26:28 |
Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B |
| 00:26:32 |
We arrest this jerkoff |
| 00:26:35 |
Wait, wait, wait, |
| 00:26:37 |
For scaffolding permit violation... |
| 00:26:48 |
-I got my insurance card. Somewhere. |
| 00:26:50 |
-What the hell? You ran right into us! |
| 00:26:53 |
Wood? |
| 00:26:54 |
What the... |
| 00:26:55 |
-Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. |
| 00:26:57 |
Do not let these men take me. |
| 00:27:01 |
Hi. |
| 00:27:03 |
Why's she looking at you like that? |
| 00:27:05 |
That's my car! |
| 00:27:06 |
Hey, hey, hey! |
| 00:27:10 |
Hey! Excuse me! |
| 00:27:13 |
Why did they take our shoes? |
| 00:27:15 |
-What the hell just happened? |
| 00:27:20 |
I think we've walked 30 blocks, man. |
| 00:27:22 |
I don't get why we can't just call the office |
| 00:27:27 |
No. They took our shoes, |
| 00:27:30 |
There's no way that's going out on the radio. |
| 00:27:32 |
Look, if we're gonna do this together, |
| 00:27:35 |
I mean, you said I had a weak chin. |
| 00:27:39 |
How do you think that makes me feel? |
| 00:27:40 |
I mean, that list you have, |
| 00:27:45 |
I hear you. |
| 00:27:47 |
Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start. |
| 00:27:52 |
All right. Fresh start. |
| 00:27:57 |
Maybe we should call ourselves |
| 00:28:00 |
'cause it's feeling so fresh right now. |
| 00:28:03 |
Right? |
| 00:28:05 |
Let's do another fresh start, 'cause |
| 00:28:08 |
Fine, fresh start. |
| 00:28:11 |
It's the last one. |
| 00:28:12 |
I have to be able to express myself |
| 00:28:17 |
-Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up! |
| 00:28:20 |
Got a high profile kidnapping. |
| 00:28:22 |
David Ershon, wealthy banker, |
| 00:28:26 |
Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell. |
| 00:28:28 |
Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes? |
| 00:28:32 |
Who cares? It's not important, okay? |
| 00:28:34 |
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good. |
| 00:28:39 |
-Bye, guys. |
| 00:28:41 |
Come on. |
| 00:28:42 |
Guys, this is Don Beaman, |
| 00:28:45 |
Roger Wesley, head of his private security. |
| 00:28:48 |
-Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch! |
| 00:28:50 |
Hey, Terry! Take it easy! |
| 00:28:51 |
-That's the guy who took our guns, Captain. |
| 00:28:54 |
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you |
| 00:28:57 |
What is this? |
| 00:28:58 |
-Allen, tell me. Did you? |
| 00:29:00 |
Sorry, gentlemen. |
| 00:29:05 |
It's only protocol. |
| 00:29:06 |
Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this |
| 00:29:11 |
I've taken care of all necessary paperwork. |
| 00:29:13 |
And you fellas, at this point, |
| 00:29:16 |
Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges |
| 00:29:19 |
-Thank you, Captain. |
| 00:29:21 |
Australian? |
| 00:29:23 |
Special Forces, right? |
| 00:29:25 |
Best watch your step, Detective. |
| 00:29:27 |
There are three things I love in this world. |
| 00:29:30 |
Kylie Minogue, |
| 00:29:33 |
small dimples just above |
| 00:29:36 |
Beautiful features. |
| 00:29:37 |
...and the fear in a man's eye |
| 00:29:40 |
Hey! Shake your dicks. |
| 00:29:45 |
Come on, man. |
| 00:29:49 |
All right, look, they returned your shoes. |
| 00:29:52 |
And they returned your weapons. |
| 00:29:58 |
Allen, someone was nice enough |
| 00:30:01 |
some kind of stain on that, |
| 00:30:04 |
You might wanna think about |
| 00:30:06 |
Okay. |
| 00:30:07 |
You're mad at us, huh, Gene? |
| 00:30:09 |
First off, don't call me Gene. |
| 00:30:12 |
Guys, do you remember |
| 00:30:15 |
-Sure. |
| 00:30:16 |
Well, what did you do? |
| 00:30:19 |
The opposite. |
| 00:30:22 |
It's just "Captain." |
| 00:30:24 |
Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene." |
| 00:30:27 |
That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene." |
| 00:30:29 |
Police mistakenly attest |
| 00:30:33 |
Was he the victim of financial ptofiling? |
| 00:30:36 |
Financial profiling? That's crazy. |
| 00:30:41 |
That wasn't a security team. He said, |
| 00:30:45 |
I mean, when you hear hooves, |
| 00:30:49 |
What about donkeys or deer? |
| 00:30:51 |
They have hooves. |
| 00:30:55 |
Were you just thinking to yourself, |
| 00:30:57 |
-Yeah. |
| 00:31:00 |
Listen, why don't we just |
| 00:31:02 |
We'll talk the case down. |
| 00:31:04 |
We can have a little dinner. |
| 00:31:06 |
Two cops talking down a case |
| 00:31:09 |
-It's not dinner. |
| 00:31:10 |
And let me apologize in advance, okay, |
| 00:31:12 |
in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch. |
| 00:31:14 |
She's a big old broad, |
| 00:31:20 |
Okay, so I put together a little bio, |
| 00:31:25 |
I used Adobe Premiere. |
| 00:31:29 |
I recently just cut three minutes |
| 00:31:33 |
David Etshon is cuttently |
| 00:31:36 |
Who's that talking? |
| 00:31:37 |
It's the Ftontline Narration App. |
| 00:31:40 |
Etshon Consottium, cuttent financial |
| 00:31:44 |
His latgest clients include |
| 00:31:47 |
Lendl Global has those TV ads |
| 00:31:50 |
Yeah, oil, media, health care, |
| 00:31:53 |
Lendl Global, we'te in evetything |
| 00:31:56 |
David Etshon is often found |
| 00:31:59 |
-Yeah. |
| 00:32:01 |
I mean, this guy could be |
| 00:32:03 |
black market organ sales, |
| 00:32:06 |
How do you get that |
| 00:32:08 |
Hey, guys! Soup's on. |
| 00:32:10 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:32:13 |
Hi. |
| 00:32:14 |
-Hi. |
| 00:32:16 |
I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey, |
| 00:32:21 |
-Who are you? |
| 00:32:24 |
-Come on, seriously. Who is that? |
| 00:32:26 |
-Sweetie, it's a workstation. |
| 00:32:29 |
And you come in here, |
| 00:32:33 |
I know you're working. I'm so sorry. |
| 00:32:35 |
-Come on, seriously. |
| 00:32:37 |
Who is that? |
| 00:32:38 |
That's the old... |
| 00:32:42 |
Get over here. |
| 00:32:44 |
-Not... Not right now. |
| 00:32:46 |
Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay? |
| 00:32:48 |
Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is? |
| 00:32:50 |
-Are you really Allen's wife? |
| 00:32:54 |
People are shocked |
| 00:32:58 |
but somehow it works. |
| 00:33:00 |
-Are you gonna change? |
| 00:33:03 |
It's no big deal. You look really, really nice. |
| 00:33:05 |
Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay? |
| 00:33:10 |
Don't speak to her like that, Allen. |
| 00:33:11 |
Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App, |
| 00:33:16 |
Allen and his apps. He loves them. |
| 00:33:18 |
You know he's designed three of his own? |
| 00:33:22 |
One of them, |
| 00:33:24 |
and it'll tell you |
| 00:33:27 |
-Faceback. |
| 00:33:28 |
Got some horrible reviews |
| 00:33:31 |
-It's gonna hit. |
| 00:33:32 |
Why are you with Allen? |
| 00:33:34 |
I mean, that's not what I meant. |
| 00:33:38 |
It's a really typical |
| 00:33:41 |
You're gonna be bored by it. |
| 00:33:42 |
I was a dancer for the Knicks while |
| 00:33:46 |
Allen came into the ER |
| 00:33:49 |
Yes. |
| 00:33:50 |
Needless to say, I fell for him immediately. |
| 00:33:53 |
We immediately spent the next three days |
| 00:33:58 |
-and, to be honest, we didn't speak. |
| 00:34:00 |
of not communicating once verbally. |
| 00:34:03 |
We had actually, without knowing it, |
| 00:34:05 |
developed a language of eye flutters |
| 00:34:11 |
You know, Terry, |
| 00:34:14 |
After those three days of non-verbal |
| 00:34:19 |
I had to go to a specialist |
| 00:34:23 |
Similar to operating on a German shepherd |
| 00:34:27 |
-when they have hip dysplasia. |
| 00:34:31 |
It's funny, it's like a scene from that |
| 00:34:35 |
-With Meg Ryan. |
| 00:34:36 |
I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan |
| 00:34:40 |
-I'll think of it. I'll think of it. |
| 00:34:42 |
So, what about you, Terry? |
| 00:34:44 |
I did, yeah. |
| 00:34:46 |
We were supposed to get married, |
| 00:34:48 |
-Terry shot Derek Jeter. |
| 00:34:51 |
That's okay. |
| 00:34:52 |
She's Got Mail. |
| 00:34:54 |
That's it! Honey! |
| 00:34:56 |
-With Tom Hanks? |
| 00:34:58 |
-And Meg Ryan. |
| 00:34:59 |
He didn't have poison ivy up his ass. |
| 00:35:00 |
-Yes, he did. |
| 00:35:01 |
Way up there. |
| 00:35:03 |
Well, Terry, can't thank you enough |
| 00:35:06 |
What a wonderful, lovely evening. |
| 00:35:07 |
-lt was so, so nice meeting you, Terry. |
| 00:35:11 |
And remember, all I ask of you is, |
| 00:35:16 |
-She tells me that every day before I leave. |
| 00:35:19 |
I come downstairs and I make him |
| 00:35:21 |
and I say, "Listen, my little sugar balls, |
| 00:35:24 |
"you just don't get hurt." |
| 00:35:26 |
Yeah. Every morning. |
| 00:35:27 |
And then I show him my breasts, |
| 00:35:31 |
-"when you get back home." |
| 00:35:32 |
You know, Terry, they're not |
| 00:35:35 |
-but, man, are they perky. |
| 00:35:38 |
-And they are firm, and they are yours. |
| 00:35:42 |
Thank you for coming. |
| 00:35:44 |
Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? |
| 00:35:48 |
Go for Hoitz. |
| 00:35:49 |
-We found yout ted Ptius. |
| 00:35:51 |
It was ttying to vote fot Ralph Nadet. |
| 00:35:53 |
-Come on. |
| 00:35:55 |
There's gonna be fingerprints on that car. |
| 00:35:56 |
Tomorrow, we're gonna run those |
| 00:35:59 |
And if we get a hit, this case is gonna |
| 00:36:03 |
You do one thing |
| 00:36:05 |
-Okay. |
| 00:36:06 |
He'll bring it. |
| 00:36:07 |
-Good night! |
| 00:36:09 |
Thank you, Sheila. |
| 00:36:11 |
-Bye, Terry! |
| 00:36:14 |
-Bye, Terry! |
| 00:36:16 |
Bye, Sheila! |
| 00:36:17 |
-Night! |
| 00:36:19 |
Bye, Sheila. |
| 00:36:24 |
I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry! |
| 00:36:27 |
Bye, Sheila! |
| 00:36:32 |
Well, here she is. They left her |
| 00:36:37 |
You find anything? |
| 00:36:38 |
Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. |
| 00:36:41 |
From bodily fluid and hair samples, |
| 00:36:43 |
we determined that a bunch of old, |
| 00:36:46 |
-Oh, God. |
| 00:36:49 |
You know what that's called |
| 00:36:51 |
That's called a soup kitchen. |
| 00:36:52 |
It's pretty rough stuff. |
| 00:36:54 |
Not long after that, |
| 00:36:57 |
and gave birth on the floor. |
| 00:37:00 |
Placenta blew out |
| 00:37:02 |
Yeah, and then to top it all off, |
| 00:37:05 |
takes himself a nifty little dump |
| 00:37:09 |
I think he knew you guys were cops, |
| 00:37:11 |
because this is what I would call |
| 00:37:14 |
You were able to determine all of that |
| 00:37:15 |
-from the hair and fluid samples? |
| 00:37:17 |
What about fingerprints? |
| 00:37:19 |
-Nope, couldn't get a one. |
| 00:37:22 |
Yeah, that's mine. |
| 00:37:23 |
Any signs of a struggle or spent shells? |
| 00:37:25 |
No. Believe me, everybody that was |
| 00:37:30 |
In fact, they even left you a note here. |
| 00:37:32 |
"Thanks for the F-shack. |
| 00:37:36 |
Here's something we found. |
| 00:37:37 |
We found about a dozen |
| 00:37:39 |
No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out. |
| 00:37:43 |
Yeah, it's a real shame, you know. |
| 00:37:47 |
It's my first brand-new car. |
| 00:37:50 |
Found a deer vagina. |
| 00:37:53 |
-What? |
| 00:37:55 |
Then we took a closer look. |
| 00:38:00 |
Not even a free ticket. |
| 00:38:02 |
What are we gonna do? |
| 00:38:03 |
We got no fingerprints, |
| 00:38:06 |
Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call |
| 00:38:09 |
-They used your phone? |
| 00:38:11 |
Someone probably sat on it. |
| 00:38:13 |
It could have recorded some of their |
| 00:38:16 |
We gotta hear the other side of that call. |
| 00:38:18 |
Nope, no, it's nothing. |
| 00:38:19 |
-Nothing? It's the only lead we have. |
| 00:38:22 |
Why did you just get super jumpy? |
| 00:38:24 |
What? |
| 00:38:25 |
It's an ex-girlfriend, okay? |
| 00:38:28 |
What's the matter? |
| 00:38:29 |
She was just a bit of a handful, that's it. |
| 00:38:36 |
Allen, it's the only lead we have. |
| 00:38:38 |
We either go with this |
| 00:38:41 |
Fine. Let's go see her. |
| 00:38:56 |
Hello, Christinith. |
| 00:38:57 |
Hello, Allen. |
| 00:39:01 |
-That's my partner, Terry. |
| 00:39:05 |
-Holy shit. Dude. |
| 00:39:08 |
I waited for you in Tower Records |
| 00:39:14 |
That was 13 years ago. |
| 00:39:19 |
Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert. |
| 00:39:25 |
Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here. |
| 00:39:27 |
-Hal, just place it down, please. |
| 00:39:31 |
Okay. |
| 00:39:36 |
I did things in bed with you |
| 00:39:41 |
No. |
| 00:39:43 |
-Christinith, your husband, it's awkward. |
| 00:39:46 |
-You're a lucky dog. |
| 00:39:51 |
Christine, this is a lovely house. |
| 00:39:53 |
It's Christinith. |
| 00:39:56 |
Christinith, you idiot! |
| 00:39:59 |
You come to our house, |
| 00:40:04 |
-What? |
| 00:40:06 |
Look, we really appreciate the hospitality. |
| 00:40:09 |
We'd just love to get the message off |
| 00:40:11 |
We believe it might give us information |
| 00:40:18 |
Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen, |
| 00:40:21 |
and everyone else stay here. |
| 00:40:24 |
-Okay, sweetie. |
| 00:40:31 |
-There's my phone. |
| 00:40:37 |
I hate you, you son of a bitch! |
| 00:40:40 |
-You're so strong. |
| 00:40:44 |
I hate you! I hate you! |
| 00:40:47 |
You're so adorable. |
| 00:40:50 |
You go, "l wuv you." |
| 00:41:00 |
You probably think because of the beard |
| 00:41:05 |
But I'm not. |
| 00:41:08 |
Shaved. |
| 00:41:10 |
-Allen! |
| 00:41:13 |
Question. |
| 00:41:15 |
What would you rather be, |
| 00:41:17 |
a bear or a dog? |
| 00:41:20 |
-I don't care. |
| 00:41:24 |
a bear dog. Half dog, half bear. |
| 00:41:28 |
'Cause that way, I could live in the house |
| 00:41:30 |
but I still get to make a doodie |
| 00:41:34 |
Allen! |
| 00:41:40 |
Allen! Allen! |
| 00:41:41 |
-This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go! |
| 00:41:44 |
You get back here |
| 00:41:47 |
Allen! Allen! |
| 00:41:49 |
I don't get it, man. I just do not get it. |
| 00:41:53 |
I mean, |
| 00:41:55 |
Your wife is crazy hot. |
| 00:41:57 |
I mean, even that Brazilian security chick, |
| 00:42:00 |
What is it with you and hot ladies? |
| 00:42:02 |
First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot. |
| 00:42:05 |
Dude, you're insane. |
| 00:42:10 |
-You wanna listen to this message or not? |
| 00:42:12 |
You have one job, mate. |
| 00:42:14 |
Find a sucket to invest with you |
| 00:42:16 |
so you can pay my boss back |
| 00:42:18 |
And I don't cate who. |
| 00:42:19 |
Right. I actually think I found a sucket... |
| 00:42:22 |
-He's talking to Ershon. |
| 00:42:24 |
Who's got $32 billion to rob? |
| 00:42:26 |
Once I get the money, I'll falsify the tecotds |
| 00:42:28 |
to show theit massive losses |
| 00:42:31 |
Now, since you'te following me, |
| 00:42:35 |
and aftet that... |
| 00:42:36 |
I told you it wasn't a security team. |
| 00:42:38 |
-He was being abducted. |
| 00:42:42 |
Nobody leaves our house |
| 00:42:43 |
-ls that him? |
| 00:42:45 |
Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere! |
| 00:42:46 |
-Holy shit! |
| 00:42:48 |
-You come back here! You get back here! |
| 00:42:58 |
2300 Park Avenue. |
| 00:43:03 |
Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found. |
| 00:43:05 |
Ershon is using the lottery money |
| 00:43:08 |
$32 billion. That's the state's money. |
| 00:43:11 |
Well, what do we tell Mauch? |
| 00:43:13 |
We have a scratchy cell phone message |
| 00:43:16 |
There's gotta be some sort of paper trail. |
| 00:43:20 |
then we can go to Mauch. |
| 00:43:22 |
So, I did some more research |
| 00:43:27 |
and I found some pretty interesting stuff. |
| 00:43:28 |
It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has... |
| 00:43:33 |
Hold on, I'm up. |
| 00:43:36 |
I gave my love to Etin |
| 00:43:40 |
She ptomised to be ttue |
| 00:43:44 |
I went to wat to come back |
| 00:43:48 |
And find five Btitish soldiets |
| 00:43:52 |
Had theit way with het |
| 00:43:56 |
It was consensual |
| 00:44:01 |
Done? |
| 00:44:02 |
Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm |
| 00:44:05 |
has only one client, David Ershon. |
| 00:44:08 |
Pretty rinky-dink operation |
| 00:44:11 |
Looks like we're going to Jersey |
| 00:44:14 |
That's a shitty day. |
| 00:44:18 |
And all theit fathets wete hanged |
| 00:44:22 |
And the childten all got pink eye |
| 00:44:27 |
While theit Harry Potter books wete butned |
| 00:44:40 |
Do you have fun singing those songs? |
| 00:44:42 |
I do. They're full of rich history. |
| 00:44:46 |
Damn it, I'm late. |
| 00:44:48 |
I thought you said you guys split up. |
| 00:44:50 |
Let's just keep our thing about work, okay? |
| 00:44:53 |
All right. Goodbye, buddy. |
| 00:44:55 |
Hey, get off me, man. |
| 00:45:15 |
What the hell are you doing? |
| 00:45:18 |
I'm dancing, Terry. |
| 00:45:21 |
I love you, Francine. |
| 00:45:23 |
If you were with me, you wouldn't be here |
| 00:45:26 |
This is a ballet studio, Terry. |
| 00:45:31 |
He loves you very much, Francine. |
| 00:45:34 |
-Who is this guy? |
| 00:45:36 |
It's the code. I'm your partner. |
| 00:45:38 |
I'm here to support a friend |
| 00:45:41 |
Francine, is this guy bothering you? |
| 00:45:43 |
Who's this, your new boyfriend? |
| 00:45:46 |
He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay? |
| 00:45:49 |
I know that this is a big surprise, |
| 00:45:51 |
but there are other things in the world |
| 00:45:55 |
Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance. |
| 00:45:58 |
What, you don't think I can do this shit? |
| 00:46:16 |
That was surprisingly good, Terry. |
| 00:46:18 |
-I love you, Francine. |
| 00:46:21 |
He loves you very much, Francine! |
| 00:46:23 |
I heard it when he said it. Thank you. |
| 00:46:25 |
You know what you're doing to me? |
| 00:46:27 |
And don't eyeball me, man! |
| 00:46:29 |
You're running around |
| 00:46:31 |
Terry! |
| 00:46:32 |
He does not approve of your behavior! |
| 00:46:34 |
Can you please go? |
| 00:46:36 |
And you, too, |
| 00:46:42 |
Let's go, Allen. |
| 00:46:44 |
I think we all experienced |
| 00:46:47 |
The ballet of emotion and feelings. |
| 00:46:49 |
You're kind of making things worse. |
| 00:47:00 |
-You okay? |
| 00:47:04 |
Hey, I didn't know you could dance. |
| 00:47:08 |
We used to do those dance moves |
| 00:47:10 |
show them how queer they were, okay? |
| 00:47:14 |
-You learned to dance like that sarcastically? |
| 00:47:17 |
Stay out of my personal life, okay? |
| 00:47:20 |
Stay focused on the case, man. |
| 00:47:24 |
All right, Terry. |
| 00:47:26 |
Hey, that was liberating for me. |
| 00:47:52 |
Here, check this out. |
| 00:47:56 |
Talking about how the lottery is looking |
| 00:47:57 |
to invest their $30-billion fund |
| 00:48:00 |
So he's dealing drugs? |
| 00:48:02 |
No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice. |
| 00:48:09 |
Look, I'm sorry. I just... |
| 00:48:11 |
I am in a bit of a state today. |
| 00:48:17 |
What happened? |
| 00:48:20 |
She was interested in taking this class |
| 00:48:23 |
Called "The Art of Oral Sex"? |
| 00:48:26 |
You know, we just don't have it |
| 00:48:29 |
It's always about her. |
| 00:48:31 |
Yeah, that's... That's messed up. |
| 00:48:35 |
Hey, I got you a gift. |
| 00:48:37 |
I just saw something, and I thought of you, |
| 00:48:41 |
I just wanted to be nice. |
| 00:48:42 |
Of course it's weird. |
| 00:48:43 |
It's a grown man |
| 00:48:47 |
There you go. Open it up. |
| 00:48:50 |
It's okay, you're welcome. |
| 00:48:52 |
I like to do things like that. |
| 00:48:54 |
Take a look what it says. |
| 00:49:05 |
You know, |
| 00:49:08 |
We both like women. |
| 00:49:10 |
But I got a weird sense of humor. |
| 00:49:13 |
I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard. |
| 00:49:15 |
Me, too. |
| 00:49:20 |
Real nice. You know, it's all class. |
| 00:49:25 |
-Okay. |
| 00:49:27 |
Yeah, believe me, I won't. |
| 00:49:29 |
Do you understand |
| 00:49:33 |
'Cause it's the FBl, right? |
| 00:49:36 |
And at first glance, you're like, |
| 00:49:40 |
But then at second glance, |
| 00:49:44 |
Get out of town. This is outrageous... |
| 00:49:47 |
Shut up! |
| 00:50:00 |
I'm gonna climb over |
| 00:50:03 |
one of these days, |
| 00:50:04 |
and it's gonna be glorious. |
| 00:50:10 |
Shouldn't we tell Mauch that |
| 00:50:12 |
For what? We're just going to check it out. |
| 00:50:14 |
I know, but it's procedure. |
| 00:50:17 |
Terry answers to no one. |
| 00:50:19 |
I do what I do. |
| 00:50:23 |
What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m. |
| 00:50:25 |
This is a shithole. |
| 00:50:34 |
I love bombs. |
| 00:50:35 |
I can't hear! I can't hear! |
| 00:50:40 |
There's blood blisters on my hands! |
| 00:50:42 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:50:43 |
How do they walk away in movies |
| 00:50:46 |
when it explodes behind them? |
| 00:50:47 |
There's no way! I call bullshit on that! |
| 00:50:51 |
When they flew the Millennium Falcon |
| 00:50:54 |
and it was followed by the explosion, |
| 00:50:58 |
Don't you dare badmouth Stat Wats! |
| 00:51:02 |
I need an MRl. |
| 00:51:04 |
I need an MRl! I've got soft tissue damage. |
| 00:51:09 |
There's no way |
| 00:51:11 |
Please stop. |
| 00:51:12 |
I just wanna go somewhere |
| 00:51:18 |
Fire Department said it was a gas leak, |
| 00:51:22 |
They didn't wanna kill us, |
| 00:51:24 |
Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay? |
| 00:51:27 |
I'm tired of this. All right? |
| 00:51:29 |
I'm tired of explosions |
| 00:51:32 |
I wanna go back to my desk. |
| 00:51:34 |
Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes |
| 00:51:38 |
You can't escape it by hiding |
| 00:51:40 |
You know what? Yes, you can. |
| 00:51:43 |
There's no explosions at my desk. |
| 00:51:46 |
There's no explosions at my home |
| 00:51:53 |
What are you afraid of, man? |
| 00:51:56 |
I'm your partner. You can tell me. |
| 00:52:02 |
I was a sophomore in college. |
| 00:52:05 |
The university I went to |
| 00:52:11 |
A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort |
| 00:52:16 |
came up with a nifty plan |
| 00:52:19 |
where she thought she'd date guys |
| 00:52:21 |
I go on dates all the time, |
| 00:52:23 |
with a whole bunch of, |
| 00:52:25 |
And I kind of need somebody to help me out, |
| 00:52:29 |
Yeah, I could make a schedule. |
| 00:52:31 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, |
| 00:52:33 |
-Provide transportation services. |
| 00:52:36 |
-It's gonna be a good time. |
| 00:52:38 |
She said she needed my help to make sute |
| 00:52:40 |
and that the guys paid her. |
| 00:52:44 |
-Oh, my God. You were a pimp. |
| 00:52:47 |
No, I was just trying to help a friend. |
| 00:52:49 |
We statted making a lot of money. |
| 00:52:53 |
And wouldn't you know it, |
| 00:52:56 |
decided they wanted to be a patt of it. |
| 00:52:59 |
Ptetty soon, thete wete about 14 ladies |
| 00:53:02 |
while they gave me money. |
| 00:53:03 |
That's called a stable of whotes. |
| 00:53:06 |
We decided I shouldn't use my real name. |
| 00:53:11 |
I'm telling you, you were a pimp. |
| 00:53:12 |
No! Are you even listening to the story? |
| 00:53:18 |
Anyway, one day, |
| 00:53:20 |
and I don't like what I see. |
| 00:53:24 |
I mean, I had gotten out of conttol, |
| 00:53:28 |
You can't have a conscience |
| 00:53:31 |
One night, two of my favorite girls, |
| 00:53:33 |
Candy and Jolene, said, |
| 00:53:35 |
and they dropped me off |
| 00:53:37 |
That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess. |
| 00:53:39 |
I made a promise to myself and to her |
| 00:53:46 |
So, as soon as I graduated from college, |
| 00:53:47 |
I became an accountant |
| 00:53:51 |
The most stable job I could think of. |
| 00:53:55 |
An accountant for law and order. |
| 00:54:00 |
I just don't wanna ever feel out of control |
| 00:54:04 |
Don't worry. I got your back. |
| 00:54:06 |
Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill |
| 00:54:09 |
-I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. |
| 00:54:13 |
You can eithet walk the plank |
| 00:54:16 |
The choice is youts. |
| 00:54:18 |
-I want to take my panties off. |
| 00:54:22 |
Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer |
| 00:54:27 |
Gentlemen, please. |
| 00:54:29 |
-Remember us, hotshot? |
| 00:54:32 |
Thete she blows. |
| 00:54:36 |
Two of those Russian waters, please. |
| 00:54:39 |
Guess where we just came from? |
| 00:54:43 |
Yes, that awful gas leak. |
| 00:54:45 |
Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one |
| 00:54:49 |
I just thank God |
| 00:54:54 |
I absolutely abhor death. |
| 00:54:57 |
Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. |
| 00:55:01 |
We know that wasn't your security team |
| 00:55:03 |
And we know you're targeting a big fish |
| 00:55:05 |
You talk or I beat you |
| 00:55:08 |
God, this water is good. |
| 00:55:11 |
Shut up, Allen. |
| 00:55:12 |
I assure you, |
| 00:55:16 |
I understand there was a bit of a mix-up |
| 00:55:20 |
The cucumber accents the water |
| 00:55:26 |
Perhaps by way of apology, |
| 00:55:31 |
for the Knicks game, |
| 00:55:38 |
Come on, Knicks! Come on! |
| 00:55:44 |
Hey. This feels weird sitting here. |
| 00:55:48 |
It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, |
| 00:55:53 |
Come on. |
| 00:55:55 |
Call me! |
| 00:55:58 |
-Excuse me. |
| 00:56:00 |
No more. |
| 00:56:01 |
Gentlemen, you have a choice. |
| 00:56:10 |
Fantastic! You're so unbelievable! |
| 00:56:17 |
Damn it. He did it again. |
| 00:56:20 |
-Excuse me. |
| 00:56:23 |
Mr. Ershon, |
| 00:56:25 |
That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters |
| 00:56:28 |
No, no, no. No more water. |
| 00:56:30 |
No, I was very much looking forward |
| 00:56:32 |
-How great is Jetsey Boys? |
| 00:56:37 |
You totally undersold it. |
| 00:56:40 |
Wow, what a musical. |
| 00:56:42 |
Hey. Get over here. |
| 00:56:45 |
-What's wrong with you? |
| 00:56:46 |
That's not what we're here for. |
| 00:56:48 |
We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay? |
| 00:56:51 |
It's the oldest game in the book for a reason, |
| 00:56:54 |
I come strong, then you come in. |
| 00:56:55 |
-You got it? |
| 00:56:57 |
-I come strong, then you come in. |
| 00:56:59 |
Now you listen to me, you piece of shit. |
| 00:57:01 |
It's just you and me, |
| 00:57:04 |
How did you cover your losses up? |
| 00:57:08 |
-Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable! |
| 00:57:12 |
You wanna talk to me? |
| 00:57:15 |
Allen, what are you doing? |
| 00:57:19 |
I'm gonna make you eat |
| 00:57:22 |
Get away from me! |
| 00:57:29 |
Where is he? |
| 00:57:32 |
Look, I'm really sorry about that. |
| 00:57:36 |
I saw how aggressive you were being, |
| 00:57:38 |
"Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that, |
| 00:57:42 |
What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop." |
| 00:57:47 |
Okay, then there it is. That's it. |
| 00:57:52 |
Well, while you were going crazy, |
| 00:57:55 |
-Think it's his phone sheet. |
| 00:57:58 |
Seven calls to the lottery office. |
| 00:58:00 |
That could be the evidence |
| 00:58:04 |
-Get back. Colombian drug lords. |
| 00:58:09 |
Jesus! |
| 00:58:19 |
Can you imagine where you'd be |
| 00:58:29 |
-We call this in, right? |
| 00:58:33 |
I'm sorry, my butterfly. |
| 00:58:36 |
We'll load them up, send them back to go. |
| 00:58:48 |
-Holy shit. |
| 00:58:51 |
What do you mean, what? Where are we? |
| 00:58:55 |
We're in the high desert. |
| 00:58:57 |
They took my shoes again, man! |
| 00:59:01 |
-They took your wooden gun? |
| 00:59:09 |
-Hello? |
| 00:59:11 |
Captain, it's Allen Gamble. |
| 00:59:12 |
Yeah, yeah. Where are you? |
| 00:59:14 |
Captain, it's a long stoty, |
| 00:59:17 |
We are in Las Vegas, all right? |
| 00:59:19 |
We were kidnapped, put on a freight train, |
| 00:59:22 |
Let me just stop you right there. |
| 00:59:25 |
Captain, I am being straight with you. |
| 00:59:26 |
Look, we think something's going on, okay? |
| 00:59:29 |
We think Ershon is targeting the lottery |
| 00:59:32 |
Wait. How many times |
| 00:59:38 |
Terry, Captain wants to know |
| 00:59:39 |
how many times |
| 00:59:41 |
Twice. |
| 00:59:43 |
Twice. Terry says twice. I agree. |
| 00:59:45 |
I'm hanging up. I'm done. |
| 00:59:51 |
I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand |
| 00:59:56 |
Martin and Fosse, super cops, |
| 01:00:01 |
So, we busted that junkie. |
| 01:00:08 |
Solved the Castien case. |
| 01:00:09 |
$74,000? That's all they took? |
| 01:00:12 |
There's millions of dollars of diamonds |
| 01:00:15 |
How about this, Gamble? |
| 01:00:17 |
All right? Just shut it. |
| 01:00:19 |
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you. |
| 01:00:23 |
I know it's off the subject, |
| 01:00:26 |
-Captain? |
| 01:00:27 |
-ls it a bad time? |
| 01:00:30 |
-Not me, right? |
| 01:00:32 |
Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with |
| 01:00:35 |
He wanted to come down and pay us a visit. |
| 01:00:37 |
Hello, gentlemen. |
| 01:00:39 |
-Hello, sir. |
| 01:00:40 |
-You know, I was talking to Gene here. |
| 01:00:43 |
Yes, I was talking to Gene here, |
| 01:00:47 |
I don't know what you two have been up to, |
| 01:00:49 |
but I've been getting calls |
| 01:00:53 |
In 40 years of enforcing the law, |
| 01:00:56 |
When that happens, stop. |
| 01:01:00 |
-Gene, how's the family? |
| 01:01:03 |
-My son's bisexual, so... |
| 01:01:08 |
Gentlemen, do we understand each other? |
| 01:01:10 |
-Cut the crap! |
| 01:01:17 |
Guy never comes down here. |
| 01:01:19 |
Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy |
| 01:01:21 |
-He's a heavyweight cat, that guy. |
| 01:01:25 |
Yeah. I think you missed the point. |
| 01:01:29 |
Blue and white found your firearms down |
| 01:01:34 |
You know what? |
| 01:01:36 |
I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun. |
| 01:01:38 |
-To give me back my real gun? |
| 01:01:40 |
'Cause I'm gonna give you this. |
| 01:01:43 |
It's a rape whistle. |
| 01:01:46 |
and someone with an actual gun |
| 01:01:50 |
We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real! |
| 01:01:55 |
Next, I want you guys to hand in all |
| 01:02:00 |
The financial district's |
| 01:02:02 |
Don't you get it? This case is talking to us! |
| 01:02:05 |
I'm a peacock, Captain! |
| 01:02:08 |
You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this. |
| 01:02:11 |
-They fly, they fly a little bit. |
| 01:02:14 |
One more thing, do me a favor, |
| 01:02:19 |
Was that accidental, or were you trying |
| 01:02:22 |
I don't even understand the reference. |
| 01:02:24 |
-You don't understand what you said? |
| 01:02:26 |
Get out. Go. |
| 01:02:38 |
How did they get that story? |
| 01:02:42 |
I'm tired of being treated like a jerk |
| 01:02:45 |
Hey, guys. |
| 01:02:46 |
There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment |
| 01:02:50 |
-so if you just wanna come by the old... |
| 01:02:53 |
Let me ask you something. |
| 01:02:54 |
What do you even do around here |
| 01:02:57 |
Well, I serve as treasurer to the union. |
| 01:03:00 |
I make a wicked pot of decaf. |
| 01:03:03 |
Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit! |
| 01:03:08 |
Probably right, Terry. |
| 01:03:12 |
I'm gonna go for a walk. |
| 01:03:14 |
-Bob! |
| 01:03:16 |
Come on! Bob! |
| 01:03:18 |
I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset. |
| 01:03:38 |
Actually, we don't do that here. |
| 01:03:44 |
-This coffee table? |
| 01:03:50 |
-Five hundred thousand? |
| 01:03:53 |
-What? |
| 01:03:55 |
Or not? I'm... |
| 01:03:59 |
-Terry. |
| 01:04:00 |
-Well... |
| 01:04:04 |
-I want to be with you. |
| 01:04:09 |
You know where you belong. |
| 01:04:13 |
Instead, you're here |
| 01:04:15 |
I mean, look at this. This is nonsense! |
| 01:04:16 |
Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson. |
| 01:04:19 |
The chaos of the coffee table? |
| 01:04:24 |
You think I don't know |
| 01:04:26 |
This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents |
| 01:04:31 |
in the face of capitalist-driven isolation. |
| 01:04:33 |
Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman |
| 01:04:36 |
How did you know that, Terry? |
| 01:04:38 |
I took some classes at RlSD |
| 01:04:40 |
so I could make fun of these lame artsy |
| 01:04:42 |
-Terry, lower your voice! |
| 01:04:45 |
-ls this man bothering you? |
| 01:04:48 |
Terry, he's gay. Okay? |
| 01:04:51 |
He's even wearing a T-shirt that says, |
| 01:04:54 |
All right? And also, he is my boss. |
| 01:04:56 |
Happy for you, man. Good. |
| 01:04:57 |
Can you get out of here now? |
| 01:04:59 |
Mr. Reger, everything is fine. |
| 01:05:03 |
Nice toot, sailor. Jesus. |
| 01:05:06 |
Terry, what are you doing? |
| 01:05:09 |
Look, I waited three years |
| 01:05:12 |
Just give me one more year. |
| 01:05:14 |
Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done. |
| 01:05:17 |
Fine. |
| 01:05:19 |
-Terry, don't touch that! Terry! |
| 01:05:22 |
I don't need this shit. I don't need you! |
| 01:05:25 |
And when you call me, I'm not coming back! |
| 01:05:28 |
-Oh, boy! Over the top! |
| 01:05:32 |
I'll burn this bitch down to the ground! |
| 01:05:35 |
-Fresh! Energetic! |
| 01:05:38 |
Stop critiquing me, okay? |
| 01:05:42 |
-Yes, you are. |
| 01:05:44 |
I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow! |
| 01:05:47 |
Yes! Yes! |
| 01:05:59 |
These braised short ribs taste |
| 01:06:02 |
-Sweetie. |
| 01:06:04 |
"Who in the world would slow roast |
| 01:06:07 |
"and serve it to their husband?" |
| 01:06:09 |
-You would. |
| 01:06:12 |
-Captain took us off the case. |
| 01:06:18 |
I told Terry about my dark days in college, |
| 01:06:23 |
Well, honeydick, that was a long time ago. |
| 01:06:29 |
No, you don't get it. |
| 01:06:32 |
It wants to get out. It wants to walk around. |
| 01:06:35 |
It wants some walking around money, |
| 01:06:38 |
And it wants to walk up with the people |
| 01:06:43 |
-You feel me? |
| 01:06:45 |
Gator never been about that, |
| 01:06:52 |
-Sweetie, I'm sorry. |
| 01:06:54 |
-I just... |
| 01:06:59 |
The attending physician told me, |
| 01:07:04 |
And I went back there, |
| 01:07:08 |
and I saw you. |
| 01:07:10 |
You were weak, scared, |
| 01:07:13 |
ass up, inflamed, crying. |
| 01:07:17 |
At that moment, I knew. |
| 01:07:23 |
Pimps don't cty |
| 01:07:29 |
Pimps don't cty |
| 01:07:31 |
No, they don't |
| 01:07:35 |
They don't shed a teat |
| 01:07:38 |
Pimps don't cty |
| 01:07:44 |
They nevet shed a teat |
| 01:07:51 |
Come lay with me. |
| 01:07:54 |
Every time you say, "Be safe," |
| 01:07:57 |
You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be. |
| 01:08:01 |
Allen, I'm pregnant. |
| 01:08:04 |
Whose baby is that? |
| 01:08:06 |
Who's the man who did that to you? |
| 01:08:11 |
I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about. |
| 01:08:14 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:08:18 |
You need to leave. |
| 01:08:19 |
Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out! |
| 01:08:40 |
Hey. |
| 01:08:42 |
Hey. What are you doing here? |
| 01:08:47 |
Come here when I have lady troubles, |
| 01:08:52 |
What are you doing here? |
| 01:08:55 |
Sheila and I got into it tonight. |
| 01:08:59 |
She threw me out. |
| 01:09:02 |
Well, you're not a cop till your wife |
| 01:09:05 |
Does it bother you that the Castien robbers |
| 01:09:09 |
They're junkies. Who cares? I mean... |
| 01:09:12 |
I don't know if a junkie can go down |
| 01:09:16 |
How you fellas doing? |
| 01:09:18 |
We're about to have us a little screw party |
| 01:09:22 |
if you wanna join us. |
| 01:09:23 |
You're not going |
| 01:09:25 |
Here's what we're talking about. |
| 01:09:29 |
with fingers in each other's pooper |
| 01:09:31 |
in a stranger's car |
| 01:09:33 |
It's gonna be a nice evening. |
| 01:09:35 |
Well, we're not participating in that. |
| 01:09:37 |
Let me rephrase it. |
| 01:09:39 |
We got a jar of old mustard, |
| 01:09:42 |
and we're just get in there |
| 01:09:46 |
Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys? |
| 01:09:47 |
-How do you know who we are? |
| 01:09:50 |
-Police, shithead. |
| 01:09:53 |
Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops! |
| 01:09:55 |
Rub your dicks on the car |
| 01:09:57 |
You turned my beautiful Prius |
| 01:09:59 |
We are gonna have sex in your car! |
| 01:10:05 |
I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight. |
| 01:10:07 |
Fortunately, I know |
| 01:10:09 |
Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on. |
| 01:10:12 |
-No, I already have a beer. |
| 01:10:14 |
I'm talking about doing |
| 01:10:16 |
Drinking with Terry Hoitz. |
| 01:11:06 |
This sucks, man. |
| 01:11:08 |
now we gotta hand over |
| 01:11:10 |
Yeah, it's not right. |
| 01:11:11 |
Oh, my God, I'm hungover. |
| 01:11:16 |
So, you guys are law enforcement? |
| 01:11:17 |
Yeah, we're an independent |
| 01:11:19 |
along with the FBl and the Federal Reserve, |
| 01:11:21 |
regulate the stock market |
| 01:11:24 |
And the Federal Reserve is a prison? |
| 01:11:26 |
No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank |
| 01:11:29 |
and loans money to other banks. |
| 01:11:31 |
-ls that a wastebasket? |
| 01:11:34 |
Thank you. |
| 01:11:37 |
-You all right? |
| 01:11:42 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 01:11:44 |
I got so drunk last night. |
| 01:11:45 |
I think I thought a tube of toothpaste |
| 01:11:50 |
Come on in, fellas. |
| 01:11:53 |
You gotta be kidding me. |
| 01:11:56 |
We're turning over our investigation to you? |
| 01:11:58 |
Let me assure you there will be |
| 01:12:00 |
between me and David Ershon. |
| 01:12:02 |
And if this were an actual investigation, |
| 01:12:06 |
This is all the evidence we have, |
| 01:12:10 |
Yes. Very much so. |
| 01:12:11 |
From everything I've heard, I understand |
| 01:12:13 |
you guys are the best |
| 01:12:17 |
Outside of Enron and AlG |
| 01:12:20 |
and Bernie Madoff, |
| 01:12:22 |
WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers. |
| 01:12:24 |
Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective. |
| 01:12:26 |
-Would you like a seat, or you're fine? |
| 01:12:28 |
Okay. Let me just assure you fellas, |
| 01:12:30 |
David Ershon is an upstanding citizen. |
| 01:12:34 |
I am playing squash with him |
| 01:12:35 |
and we're having dinner. |
| 01:12:37 |
You listen to me, |
| 01:12:39 |
you play squash with Ershon, right? |
| 01:12:41 |
Your kids go to school with his? |
| 01:12:44 |
I will take a look at your evidence, |
| 01:12:46 |
and I will take a second look |
| 01:12:48 |
And when I come back and bust your ass, |
| 01:12:50 |
we're locking David Ershon |
| 01:12:53 |
He still doesn't understand the concept. |
| 01:13:16 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:13:18 |
We just handed all of our evidence over |
| 01:13:21 |
Are you a big man, huh? |
| 01:13:24 |
-I'm talking to you. |
| 01:13:25 |
You wake up in the morning, you say, |
| 01:13:28 |
"Look, I'm wearing a belt! |
| 01:13:29 |
-"I've got big boy pants on!" |
| 01:13:32 |
You borrow a little jacket, you go? |
| 01:13:34 |
You take your lunch |
| 01:13:36 |
You got your big boy pants and your snack? |
| 01:13:39 |
I could say big, loud things! |
| 01:13:41 |
I could be demonstrative! |
| 01:13:43 |
-Stop! |
| 01:13:45 |
You're scaring the shit out of me, man! |
| 01:13:47 |
Is this how you conduct yourself? |
| 01:13:50 |
What the hell are you doing, man? |
| 01:13:52 |
I'm so tired of you getting angry |
| 01:13:58 |
It's exhausting. |
| 01:14:01 |
I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk. |
| 01:14:04 |
You wanna know why |
| 01:14:06 |
'Cause the more I try and do right, |
| 01:14:10 |
We've got a possible jumpet |
| 01:14:16 |
All units, fite depattment, en toute. |
| 01:14:18 |
-SEC. |
| 01:14:21 |
We have to go. |
| 01:14:22 |
-But the Captain. |
| 01:14:24 |
All units, I need a tespondent. |
| 01:14:40 |
Shit. It's Beaman! |
| 01:14:43 |
-He's gotta know something. |
| 01:14:46 |
Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this. |
| 01:14:48 |
I took an online class |
| 01:14:51 |
I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn. |
| 01:14:53 |
-I got no bullhorn. |
| 01:14:55 |
-Bullhorn, anyone? |
| 01:14:59 |
Police business. |
| 01:15:01 |
Okay, let me turn it on. |
| 01:15:04 |
Mt. Beaman? Mt. Don Beaman? |
| 01:15:07 |
It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's... |
| 01:15:10 |
Look, thete's a lot to live fot in this life. |
| 01:15:13 |
A lot of gteat things, like soda pop, |
| 01:15:18 |
They do not care! |
| 01:15:20 |
Give me this. I know how to talk to him. |
| 01:15:22 |
Listen, we all know you'te a scumbag, |
| 01:15:26 |
Rotten piece of shit. |
| 01:15:27 |
That's worse than what I was saying. |
| 01:15:29 |
I'm not gonna lie to you, Don. |
| 01:15:31 |
People down hete ate statting to mutmut |
| 01:15:35 |
-I don't care! |
| 01:15:37 |
I say you can do it. |
| 01:15:40 |
I mean, I don't want you to jump. |
| 01:15:45 |
Look, he's flying! |
| 01:15:52 |
Stop that. |
| 01:15:54 |
Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over. |
| 01:15:56 |
Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle. |
| 01:16:00 |
Detectives, all your work's done here. |
| 01:16:03 |
What about Ershon targeting the lottery? |
| 01:16:04 |
You know why Ershon was calling down |
| 01:16:09 |
Because he was hooking up |
| 01:16:11 |
the one on TV with all the numbered balls. |
| 01:16:13 |
Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him |
| 01:16:16 |
It was right there in front of you |
| 01:16:18 |
-Can't be. |
| 01:16:20 |
-What? |
| 01:16:22 |
Yeah, that's right. |
| 01:16:23 |
You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown. |
| 01:16:27 |
-It's done. No, no. It's done. |
| 01:16:29 |
-Save yourselves some gas. |
| 01:16:32 |
Is there an appeal process we can... |
| 01:16:33 |
Had to do what you had to do, Captain. |
| 01:16:36 |
Wow! That hurt. |
| 01:16:41 |
-Excuse me. Where's my car? |
| 01:16:43 |
Couple of homeless people |
| 01:16:45 |
-That's an official police car. |
| 01:16:54 |
Wow, Mauch was upset, huh? |
| 01:16:56 |
Really? |
| 01:16:57 |
The only thing I had to be proud of |
| 01:17:00 |
That was all I had. Now it's gone. |
| 01:17:03 |
I know. I know. You still got me. |
| 01:17:06 |
Don't you get it? |
| 01:17:09 |
I told you that scaffolding violation |
| 01:17:12 |
I can't believe you still doubt me |
| 01:17:14 |
It's a real case, and I'm a real cop. |
| 01:17:19 |
-You carry a rape whistle. |
| 01:17:21 |
There is nothing about you |
| 01:17:24 |
You got no gun, no car, no wife, |
| 01:17:28 |
Leave me alone. |
| 01:17:30 |
A mutt case. |
| 01:17:31 |
Terry, I am a cop, |
| 01:17:34 |
A btoken pattnetship. |
| 01:17:36 |
I'm a cop! |
| 01:17:37 |
And getting busted down |
| 01:17:41 |
Allen and Tetty hit the ttifecta. |
| 01:17:47 |
But sometimes |
| 01:17:51 |
that's when you find out what's teal... |
| 01:17:56 |
...and what needs doing. |
| 01:18:04 |
Whethet it's ditecting ttaffic... |
| 01:18:06 |
Come on! |
| 01:18:08 |
...ot ctacking a multibillion dollat ftaud. |
| 01:18:23 |
-Do you work here? |
| 01:18:25 |
The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien |
| 01:18:28 |
They also did damage to your office? |
| 01:18:30 |
Some police officers came by |
| 01:18:32 |
Do you recall what they looked like? |
| 01:18:34 |
One of them had an Australian accent. |
| 01:18:37 |
You don't happen to do any business |
| 01:18:41 |
No. Our main client is Lendl Global. |
| 01:18:44 |
Can I ask what this is about? |
| 01:18:59 |
Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch! |
| 01:19:11 |
'Cause that's what a teal cop is. |
| 01:19:13 |
No, I didn't say "Lock her up." |
| 01:19:16 |
A guy who does what needs to be done. |
| 01:19:19 |
A guy who knows how to use his datk side |
| 01:19:23 |
And then you move to Flotida. |
| 01:19:34 |
One, two, three, attack! |
| 01:19:37 |
Terry, it's me. |
| 01:19:39 |
-Tap out. Tap out. |
| 01:19:41 |
Are you tapping out, |
| 01:19:43 |
I'm tapping out! |
| 01:19:45 |
You crazy? What are you doing, man? |
| 01:19:48 |
-They might be watching us. |
| 01:19:50 |
-Turn out the lights. |
| 01:19:51 |
-They could be watching us. |
| 01:19:53 |
I found some big information, okay? |
| 01:19:55 |
-About what? |
| 01:19:59 |
How'd you get in here? |
| 01:20:01 |
-We can't be too careful. |
| 01:20:04 |
-This place might be bugged. |
| 01:20:11 |
First off, I missed you. |
| 01:20:15 |
-What's going on? |
| 01:20:17 |
-Fine, I kind of missed you, too. |
| 01:20:22 |
Okay. I found out whose losses |
| 01:20:26 |
-It's Lendl Global. |
| 01:20:28 |
Lendl staged the Castien robbery |
| 01:20:31 |
so they could break into |
| 01:20:34 |
They then altered all the records |
| 01:20:37 |
that Ershon had cost them |
| 01:20:40 |
You're not supposed to be doing this. |
| 01:20:44 |
I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh? |
| 01:20:47 |
This is bad, Allen. This is bad. |
| 01:20:49 |
No wonder the captain wanted us |
| 01:20:51 |
Yeah, I bet |
| 01:20:54 |
-That's why they killed him. |
| 01:20:56 |
Here's the other thing. |
| 01:20:57 |
Tomorrow, there's a massive |
| 01:20:59 |
Ershon's leading it. |
| 01:21:01 |
I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is |
| 01:21:04 |
but we gotta stop it. |
| 01:21:05 |
It's time to let the peacock fly. |
| 01:21:08 |
I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do. |
| 01:21:10 |
So do l. We're cops. |
| 01:21:12 |
No. I like what I do now. |
| 01:21:17 |
What? |
| 01:21:18 |
I like working traffic. I'm not going with you. |
| 01:21:22 |
What is this traffic bullshit? |
| 01:21:29 |
-What are you talking about? |
| 01:21:32 |
The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? |
| 01:21:35 |
It's Terry's intersection. |
| 01:21:39 |
There's this one guy, Phillip? |
| 01:21:42 |
You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to. |
| 01:21:43 |
What happened to you? |
| 01:21:46 |
No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done. |
| 01:21:49 |
-Get in the car. |
| 01:21:54 |
-Apartment pop. Now get in the car. |
| 01:21:58 |
Okay, I'll be honest. This is only |
| 01:22:01 |
So stop pointing it at me. |
| 01:22:02 |
Look, tomorrow morning, |
| 01:22:06 |
For what? He doesn't care. |
| 01:22:07 |
He's been dodging this case for too long |
| 01:22:11 |
I want him to look me in the eye |
| 01:22:13 |
Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares. |
| 01:22:16 |
I hope I'm not alone. |
| 01:22:19 |
Hope you bring it. |
| 01:22:23 |
We got a big day out there. Big one. |
| 01:22:25 |
We got a full moon. |
| 01:22:28 |
Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right? |
| 01:22:32 |
The new bathmats are in. |
| 01:22:36 |
One more thing. |
| 01:22:40 |
Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job. |
| 01:22:44 |
Well, don't ignore it. |
| 01:22:45 |
If you live in Crown Heights, |
| 01:22:48 |
Gene Mauch to kitchen accessoties. |
| 01:22:53 |
I gotta go. Go get 'em. |
| 01:22:58 |
The oak. |
| 01:23:00 |
I like to keep the oak together |
| 01:23:03 |
And these chopping boards? |
| 01:23:05 |
Hey, Captain. |
| 01:23:07 |
Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing? |
| 01:23:10 |
What are you doing here? |
| 01:23:12 |
-I need you to be straight with me. |
| 01:23:16 |
Hey, Terry. Look at this. |
| 01:23:19 |
-I thought you were working traffic today. |
| 01:23:23 |
-Besides, partners' code, right? |
| 01:23:28 |
Hey, why have you worked your ass off |
| 01:23:32 |
All right, fine. |
| 01:23:35 |
You really went into deep water on this one. |
| 01:23:38 |
Ershon's connected to all the higher ups, |
| 01:23:40 |
and I gotta save |
| 01:23:44 |
You keep hiding from shit in the world, |
| 01:23:46 |
and eventually the world |
| 01:23:49 |
-Nice. |
| 01:23:51 |
I heard it in an episode |
| 01:23:53 |
You keep this thing real quiet, |
| 01:23:57 |
and maybe I'll see what I can do. |
| 01:23:59 |
But if you make a lot of noise |
| 01:24:00 |
and you attract the media attention, |
| 01:24:04 |
I am out, okay? |
| 01:24:05 |
Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice. |
| 01:24:07 |
But there's one case, |
| 01:24:11 |
This is it. |
| 01:24:13 |
All right. Then you do us proud. |
| 01:24:17 |
'Cause I don't want no scrubs. |
| 01:24:19 |
-Really? |
| 01:24:21 |
-You're not aware that's a TLC song? |
| 01:24:25 |
-Second time. |
| 01:24:26 |
now you're saying you don't want no scrubs. |
| 01:24:28 |
-I don't even understand the reference. |
| 01:24:29 |
I have no idea what you're talking about. |
| 01:24:31 |
Remember, this thing gets messy, |
| 01:24:33 |
-You can trust us. |
| 01:24:35 |
You gotta creep. Creep. |
| 01:24:38 |
Come on. |
| 01:24:40 |
You don't say "Creep-creep" |
| 01:24:43 |
Hey, guys. |
| 01:24:45 |
You know Danson and Highsmith |
| 01:24:48 |
Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that, |
| 01:24:49 |
I mean, at a certain point, |
| 01:24:52 |
Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys. |
| 01:24:56 |
You ready? |
| 01:24:58 |
-Yeah. |
| 01:25:08 |
-No, but the highlights are great. |
| 01:25:11 |
-Sexy but serious. |
| 01:25:13 |
Excuse me. |
| 01:25:15 |
Who the hell are all these people? |
| 01:25:18 |
You know, they're just some people |
| 01:25:22 |
Who are they? |
| 01:25:25 |
Well, they are some Chechen patriots, |
| 01:25:30 |
And the black chaps |
| 01:25:36 |
You owe money |
| 01:25:38 |
Yes. Yes, I do. |
| 01:25:40 |
-You're a piece of work. |
| 01:25:43 |
Probably best to get started. |
| 01:25:47 |
This is good, baby. |
| 01:25:50 |
The only thing that bugs me is |
| 01:25:53 |
-ls it the lotto? Who is it? |
| 01:25:58 |
I have to tell you, |
| 01:26:04 |
And I can assure you |
| 01:26:06 |
will be invested with the utmost diligence. |
| 01:26:09 |
Your rates of return are really exciting. |
| 01:26:11 |
We think our members |
| 01:26:13 |
Yeah. I mean, we've averaged, |
| 01:26:18 |
All right. |
| 01:26:20 |
I can feel that tingling in my balls |
| 01:26:22 |
Beautiful. |
| 01:26:24 |
All right, listen up. |
| 01:26:25 |
I am Detective Gamble. |
| 01:26:28 |
We need your cooperation. |
| 01:26:30 |
David Ershon. |
| 01:26:32 |
You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement, |
| 01:26:34 |
and in connection |
| 01:26:37 |
This is a bad idea. |
| 01:26:38 |
Hey, guys. |
| 01:26:41 |
Bob? What are you doing here? |
| 01:26:44 |
I'm investing. |
| 01:26:46 |
Do you remember we talked about |
| 01:26:48 |
-This is what it was for. |
| 01:26:50 |
It's a more aggressive investment strategy |
| 01:26:53 |
Allen! We're the suckers. |
| 01:27:03 |
Gentlemen, you're here illegally |
| 01:27:08 |
We are within our rights to take action. |
| 01:28:08 |
So much for quiet as church mice! |
| 01:28:10 |
Go! |
| 01:28:16 |
Who the hell are those guys? |
| 01:28:18 |
Gentlemen, I can get you |
| 01:28:21 |
Even I admit that's not very tempting, |
| 01:28:25 |
-Get in the front! |
| 01:28:27 |
Go on! Go! |
| 01:28:29 |
-Shit! |
| 01:28:32 |
Oh, my... |
| 01:28:35 |
Jeanie! Get over here! |
| 01:29:24 |
Hold the wheel! |
| 01:29:31 |
-Open the back! |
| 01:29:41 |
They're gonna kill me. |
| 01:29:44 |
-Well, I'm gonna kill you first! |
| 01:29:47 |
We have two togue police officets. |
| 01:29:50 |
-and holding David Etshon hostage. |
| 01:29:52 |
-It's us, we're good guys! |
| 01:29:55 |
Where do we go? Where do we go? |
| 01:29:57 |
I have a small apartment. |
| 01:30:00 |
I use it mainly for my parents |
| 01:30:03 |
Not at the same time. That would be wrong. |
| 01:30:08 |
Let's hear it from the top, every detail. |
| 01:30:12 |
I think the best way to tell the story |
| 01:30:16 |
then going back to the beginning, |
| 01:30:21 |
maybe giving different characters' |
| 01:30:25 |
Just to give it a bit of dynamism, |
| 01:30:28 |
Just tell us what happened. |
| 01:30:29 |
I lost a bunch of money from some people |
| 01:30:32 |
What about Don Beaman? |
| 01:30:34 |
Beaman knew |
| 01:30:36 |
so they sent down Wesley |
| 01:30:39 |
He forced him at gunpoint |
| 01:30:41 |
and then forced him onto the ledge. |
| 01:30:43 |
It was only a matter of time before he fell. |
| 01:30:45 |
At least we stopped you |
| 01:30:49 |
Well, but, yeah, but you didn't. |
| 01:30:52 |
By 9:00 in the morning, |
| 01:30:55 |
and from there it's transferred |
| 01:30:57 |
By 9:01, it's gone. |
| 01:30:59 |
-Well, what if we stop the transfer? |
| 01:31:02 |
What if we stop the transfer? |
| 01:31:05 |
You'd have to be at Endemic Bank |
| 01:31:08 |
find the clerk, |
| 01:31:10 |
We gotta stop it. |
| 01:31:11 |
There's no way. |
| 01:31:13 |
Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew, |
| 01:31:16 |
You could let me go, |
| 01:31:21 |
-It's not a bribe. |
| 01:31:24 |
You're offering to pay us money |
| 01:31:28 |
It's not a bribe. |
| 01:31:30 |
We hang low here tonight. |
| 01:31:33 |
We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it. |
| 01:31:35 |
First things first, I gotta go see Sheila. |
| 01:31:37 |
No way, it's too dangerous. |
| 01:31:38 |
Look, Terry, we don't know |
| 01:31:41 |
but tonight, |
| 01:31:45 |
All right, go. Go. Be careful. |
| 01:31:47 |
Thanks, I will. |
| 01:31:50 |
Will you say hi to Sheila for me? |
| 01:31:51 |
-Okay. |
| 01:31:53 |
Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you. |
| 01:31:56 |
He wants to make sure you know |
| 01:31:57 |
that he'll be there for you |
| 01:32:00 |
-Yeah. |
| 01:32:02 |
Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man. |
| 01:32:04 |
If something happens to you, |
| 01:32:07 |
All of her wants, her needs, |
| 01:32:10 |
Why do you say it |
| 01:32:13 |
Just go, man. |
| 01:32:15 |
Okay. Thanks. |
| 01:32:17 |
Go. |
| 01:32:22 |
Janeco Gallery. |
| 01:32:24 |
Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up. |
| 01:32:37 |
Please pick up. |
| 01:32:39 |
Hello. |
| 01:32:41 |
Hey, sweetie. |
| 01:32:44 |
You know what, I can't talk anymore. |
| 01:32:47 |
Baby, where are you? I wanna see you. |
| 01:32:50 |
I'm near the place where we did it |
| 01:32:52 |
Do you remember? |
| 01:32:54 |
Okay, yeah, I got it. |
| 01:32:56 |
I'm just warning you, though. Watch out. |
| 01:32:59 |
Don't wotty, sweetie. |
| 01:33:02 |
I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come. |
| 01:33:08 |
After all those years, |
| 01:33:11 |
I was worried I might not see you again. |
| 01:33:15 |
There's some |
| 01:33:16 |
and now they're after us. |
| 01:33:20 |
It's just the old lady. |
| 01:33:27 |
Hello, Allen. |
| 01:33:29 |
Hello, Mama Ramos. |
| 01:33:32 |
Sheila said she doesn't know what happened |
| 01:33:36 |
-She also says... |
| 01:33:38 |
...she wants you on top of her, |
| 01:33:42 |
and riding her like a bucking bronco |
| 01:33:45 |
while she sucks your thumb and says, |
| 01:33:49 |
You, you tell your daughter... |
| 01:33:51 |
He said he'll always love you. |
| 01:33:53 |
And he's so happy |
| 01:33:56 |
Allen. |
| 01:33:57 |
He also says that |
| 01:33:59 |
he wants you to stare into each other's eyes |
| 01:34:04 |
-I love when we do that, Mom. |
| 01:34:07 |
Iick the sex off each other. |
| 01:34:11 |
I don't wanna do this. |
| 01:34:14 |
-You say things that are too personal. |
| 01:34:18 |
She said she loves you, |
| 01:34:20 |
and wants to hold your hand |
| 01:34:23 |
Come on. That's not all she said. |
| 01:34:26 |
No. |
| 01:34:29 |
-She says other things, but I don't want... |
| 01:34:32 |
You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow. |
| 01:34:35 |
Okay. |
| 01:34:39 |
She says she wants to unplug all the clocks |
| 01:34:44 |
-and have a three-day F marathon. |
| 01:34:47 |
She wants to walk wrong for a week |
| 01:34:52 |
That's just lovely. |
| 01:34:54 |
No more! He says things I can't say. |
| 01:34:58 |
It involves a mannequin hand |
| 01:35:12 |
Now what'd she say? |
| 01:35:16 |
She says she loves you. |
| 01:35:24 |
I'm so sorry about everything. |
| 01:35:29 |
And I just had to come here tonight |
| 01:35:32 |
And the reason why I act like |
| 01:35:37 |
I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning |
| 01:35:41 |
and intelligent and wonderful you are, |
| 01:35:45 |
-I'd just lose you. |
| 01:35:49 |
We have a place that's safe. All right. |
| 01:36:04 |
I'm gonna break your hip. |
| 01:36:14 |
I'm about to do you grandpa-style. |
| 01:36:32 |
I brought some music. |
| 01:36:38 |
Not what I would've chosen, but screw it. |
| 01:36:40 |
All right. Let's go, Monday morning, |
| 01:36:44 |
Let's do it. |
| 01:36:45 |
-You want my gate code? |
| 01:36:54 |
That's Wesley! |
| 01:37:06 |
Yes! |
| 01:37:10 |
-Where'd you learn to drive like that? |
| 01:37:15 |
Shit, Allen, they're coming. |
| 01:37:19 |
-Oh, my God! |
| 01:37:23 |
-Do something, Allen! |
| 01:37:47 |
Someone's been playing Gtand Theft Auto. |
| 01:37:50 |
I did that! |
| 01:37:52 |
-I did that! |
| 01:37:53 |
-That's what I'm talking about! |
| 01:37:56 |
Did you see that? It went backwards |
| 01:37:58 |
Gator turns vans upside-down like |
| 01:38:02 |
Why are you calling yourself Gator? |
| 01:38:04 |
It's a nickname I had in college. |
| 01:38:07 |
-He was a pimp. |
| 01:38:11 |
Is it me or does it smell |
| 01:38:14 |
My poor car. |
| 01:38:16 |
Right now the streets are a bloodbath. |
| 01:38:18 |
And, statistically speaking, |
| 01:38:21 |
10 of you are gonna be dead |
| 01:38:24 |
Got a couple of tips, |
| 01:38:27 |
One, try your hardest |
| 01:38:31 |
-It's a good tip. |
| 01:38:33 |
Gentlemen, we got a hot one. |
| 01:38:35 |
Hoitz and Gamble have Etshon hostage, |
| 01:38:39 |
Yes! Gun, gun! |
| 01:38:41 |
Pass up the guns. Pass them up. |
| 01:38:43 |
There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No? |
| 01:38:44 |
Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along? |
| 01:38:46 |
I do! |
| 01:38:48 |
All right, you, sweetie. |
| 01:38:49 |
-Move! Let's go. |
| 01:39:01 |
Cool, a helicopter! |
| 01:39:09 |
Jesus! |
| 01:39:15 |
-Who are those guys? |
| 01:39:18 |
We were gonna do a Chechen version |
| 01:39:21 |
Anyway, it went terribly wrong. |
| 01:39:26 |
I feel like it's not fair |
| 01:39:29 |
Oh, no. |
| 01:39:32 |
Damn it. |
| 01:39:37 |
Watch your head. God, your hair is soft. |
| 01:39:39 |
VO5 Hot Oil. |
| 01:39:44 |
You're gonna wreck! |
| 01:39:46 |
I'm not gonna wreck! |
| 01:39:50 |
-I'm gonna wreck! You're right! |
| 01:40:11 |
-This was a very clever idea. |
| 01:40:26 |
They're gone. |
| 01:40:29 |
Let's go. |
| 01:40:42 |
They are Nigerians. |
| 01:40:54 |
-This is a shortcut. |
| 01:40:55 |
You cannot go down there. |
| 01:41:04 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:41:12 |
Hit him! |
| 01:41:20 |
-Where are we? |
| 01:41:28 |
What the hell? |
| 01:41:31 |
Jesus! |
| 01:41:39 |
Them having a helicopter |
| 01:41:42 |
Go! |
| 01:41:48 |
Come on! |
| 01:41:51 |
We're cops! Hit the chopper! |
| 01:42:15 |
This is Martin and Fosse, en route. |
| 01:42:20 |
Set up a perimeter. |
| 01:42:23 |
Take the light! |
| 01:42:44 |
Do not authorize that transfer. |
| 01:42:46 |
This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him. |
| 01:42:48 |
He will tell you not to authorize it, okay? |
| 01:42:50 |
-Tell him! |
| 01:42:53 |
Approve it. |
| 01:42:55 |
Now. |
| 01:42:57 |
Do not touch anything! |
| 01:42:59 |
I swear to God |
| 01:43:01 |
Not a person in this room believes |
| 01:43:03 |
Yeah? |
| 01:43:06 |
Thank you so much, gentlemen, |
| 01:43:10 |
I have two competing bids |
| 01:43:14 |
They're at 30 million, and holding. |
| 01:43:17 |
-Wait! Can't you let me... |
| 01:43:19 |
But computers. |
| 01:43:23 |
What if, one day, they were in charge? |
| 01:43:28 |
Now if you don't shut up, |
| 01:43:32 |
That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp. |
| 01:43:34 |
Now! |
| 01:43:42 |
You just stood there! |
| 01:43:44 |
I didn't know that "now" meant that. |
| 01:43:47 |
-I knew what that meant. |
| 01:43:49 |
You kill us and you kill Ershon. |
| 01:43:52 |
-Who's got the golden goose now, huh? |
| 01:43:58 |
Shit! |
| 01:44:00 |
He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate. |
| 01:44:02 |
He immediately called your bluff. |
| 01:44:04 |
Get up. And kill the police. |
| 01:44:06 |
I just wanna make sure I get it right. |
| 01:44:08 |
Did you want this transfer approved |
| 01:44:12 |
You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun. |
| 01:44:15 |
Police, don't move! Drop your weapons! |
| 01:44:18 |
Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy! |
| 01:44:21 |
I hope you like the taste |
| 01:44:24 |
-Police! Down on the ground! |
| 01:44:35 |
-Hey, hey, you okay? |
| 01:44:38 |
Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry. |
| 01:44:41 |
-I'm sorry. |
| 01:44:43 |
You can call me Gene |
| 01:44:45 |
Okay. Thanks for coming by. |
| 01:44:47 |
Attaboy. |
| 01:44:49 |
Come on, stay with me. Stay with me. |
| 01:44:51 |
We're losing him! We're losing him! |
| 01:44:55 |
No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting. |
| 01:44:58 |
I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? |
| 01:45:00 |
-Are you all right? |
| 01:45:02 |
Hey, let me tell you something. |
| 01:45:04 |
As far as paperwork goes, |
| 01:45:07 |
-You know why? |
| 01:45:08 |
Ain't too proud to beg. |
| 01:45:10 |
Come on. |
| 01:45:12 |
-What? |
| 01:45:14 |
-I don't know what you're talking about. |
| 01:45:16 |
Still nothing. I swear to you. |
| 01:45:19 |
I'm gonna go over and check on Terry. |
| 01:45:24 |
It was the king of the mutt cases, |
| 01:45:27 |
but Allen and Tetty had wotked it like stats. |
| 01:45:33 |
Within 24 houts of leatning |
| 01:45:36 |
and Lendl's massive losses, |
| 01:45:38 |
the govetnment issued TARP funds |
| 01:45:41 |
Lendl is in everything, |
| 01:45:46 |
They wete too big to fail. |
| 01:45:48 |
Etshon now tesides in Palomino |
| 01:45:53 |
He still invests. Cuttency's just diffetent. |
| 01:45:57 |
Roget Wesley was linked |
| 01:46:00 |
by secutity cam footage |
| 01:46:03 |
It only showed the back of theit heads. |
| 01:46:05 |
But Allen's Faceback app |
| 01:46:10 |
Tetty mattied Ftancine. |
| 01:46:12 |
He played hatp at the teception |
| 01:46:15 |
He had leatned how to play it |
| 01:46:17 |
to make fun of the faity |
| 01:46:20 |
Tetty asked Sheila to be his best man, |
| 01:46:24 |
Let's be honest, |
| 01:46:28 |
But guess what? |
| 01:46:29 |
The people that do the teal wotk, |
| 01:46:33 |
you don't see them on TV |
| 01:46:37 |
I'm talking about the day-in, |
| 01:46:40 |
Come on, man, you know who |
| 01:46:44 |
-See? That's a no-go. |
| 01:46:46 |
You think you broke this Ershon case open? |
| 01:46:48 |
You did nothing. |
| 01:46:50 |
Corporate lobbyists are spending millions |
| 01:46:51 |
to make sure guys like Ershon |
| 01:46:54 |
Derek Jeter? |
| 01:46:57 |
Yeah, it's me. You were set up |
| 01:47:00 |
-I told you! |
| 01:47:03 |
with a quick trigger finger next to that door |
| 01:47:06 |
it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us. |
| 01:47:09 |
Now, I've been doing my own investigation |
| 01:47:11 |
and I was close. I was real close. |
| 01:47:14 |
So I forgive you, Terry. |
| 01:47:16 |
I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about |
| 01:47:18 |
I'm glad you're doing better. |
| 01:47:20 |
The whole damn system is clogged up |
| 01:47:23 |
And the news doesn't say a word about it. |
| 01:47:26 |
The same corporations |
| 01:47:29 |
Courts and the law is all we have left. |
| 01:47:32 |
So here's you guys' next case. |
| 01:47:35 |
Guy by the name of Carl Bachand, |
| 01:47:38 |
He took three billion in TARP funds. |
| 01:47:43 |
Take him down, but be careful. |
| 01:47:48 |
Thanks, Derek. |
| 01:47:51 |
Hey, Derek! Wait! |
| 01:47:53 |
get some more information |
| 01:47:56 |
What just happened? |
| 01:48:00 |
Goldman Sachs. |
| 01:48:06 |
Hi. Cute glasses. |
| 01:48:09 |
-What was that? |
| 01:48:11 |
What? Dude, what is it with you |
| 01:48:14 |
Honestly, I have no idea |
| 01:48:17 |
Tell me who you lost your virginity to. |
| 01:48:19 |
She actually became a TV actress. |
| 01:48:22 |
Heather Locklear, what? |
| 01:48:24 |
-You've heard of her? |
| 01:48:26 |
-She was much chubbier back then. |
| 01:53:31 |
That was you. |
| 01:53:32 |
I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor. |
| 01:53:34 |
If you say something funny, I'll laugh. |
| 01:53:36 |
-All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke. |
| 01:53:39 |
All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday. |
| 01:53:43 |
-It's time to get laid. |
| 01:53:46 |
So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse, |
| 01:53:48 |
"look, I know usually you want money, but |
| 01:53:52 |
"Do you think I could have sex with you |
| 01:53:54 |
-Was he a farmer? |
| 01:53:57 |
That's probably a Health Code violation, |
| 01:54:01 |
They weren't gonna have sex with the duck! |
| 01:54:03 |
No, I just mean Health Code violation |
| 01:54:05 |
to have the duck brought into |
| 01:54:10 |
So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it." |
| 01:54:13 |
So he goes in there, gives it to her. |
| 01:54:16 |
-He gives her what? |
| 01:54:19 |
She goes, "You know what? If you do that |
| 01:54:23 |
-It's like getting laid twice for free. |
| 01:54:25 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 01:54:26 |
-The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. |
| 01:54:30 |
-Very good. |
| 01:54:31 |
and now he's being paid back the duck. |
| 01:54:33 |
He goes, "Oh, my God, this is |
| 01:54:37 |
-Now he's walking home, right? Walking... |
| 01:54:41 |
-With a duck as currency... |
| 01:54:43 |
...to her. Great. Good. |
| 01:54:45 |
So he's walking home, now he can't wait |
| 01:54:50 |
He's walking down the street with the duck, |
| 01:54:52 |
truck comes by and runs over his duck. |
| 01:54:53 |
-Kills the duck? |
| 01:54:55 |
-So the duck is now dead. |
| 01:54:57 |
The kid starts crying, truck driver stops, |
| 01:55:01 |
Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy |
| 01:55:04 |
-and he watched his beloved duck die. |
| 01:55:08 |
So far, I don't know |
| 01:55:10 |
The guy feels so bad about killing the duck, |
| 01:55:13 |
And the kid's happy with the two bucks? |
| 01:55:15 |
He's ecstatic! He got laid twice, |
| 01:55:18 |
Seems like a duck would be worth |
| 01:55:22 |
This was a while back. You what I'm... |
| 01:55:24 |
So he goes home, his dad goes, |
| 01:55:26 |
"Tell me! Tell me!" He goes, |
| 01:55:30 |
"l got a duck for the fuck, |
| 01:55:32 |
"and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" |
| 01:55:36 |
So it's like a limerick. |
| 01:55:39 |
You didn't think that was funny? |
| 01:55:41 |
I thought it was entertaining |
| 01:55:43 |
the way all the words were put together, |
| 01:55:45 |
but in terms of content? |
| 01:55:48 |
No. |
| 01:55:52 |
Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. |
| 01:56:01 |
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. |
| 01:56:06 |
And cut. |
