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Pal Joey en
00:00:26	Wait a minute, fellows.
00:00:28	- l never laid a hand on her.
00:00:31	That's the trouble with you nightclub
00:00:33	You think you can own
00:00:35	Show me a law in the country that says
00:00:40	No law, just don't buy a drink in your
00:00:44	- Let's get goin', bud.
00:00:48	She looked like she was 35.
00:00:50	Want I should ask
00:00:52	lf you had, you would have found out
00:00:55	But-- Well, can't
00:00:58	Come on !
00:01:00	- l can't. l'm broke.
00:01:02	One-way.
00:01:05	All aboard!
00:02:44	Thank you.
00:03:38	- Taxi!
00:03:41	Cab, lady?
00:03:44	Taxi, sir?
00:03:46	No, thanks. l got my car
00:03:49	Step lively for a tour
00:03:53	Aid, young man?
00:03:56	- What did you have in mind?
00:03:59	- Lovely homes and gardens.
00:04:03	Golden Gate Park,
00:04:08	overlooking the Pacific.
00:04:27	- Let your hips swing around the whirl.
00:04:30	Singer? l don't care if you sing like a
00:04:37	Legs, not tonsils.
00:04:41	l see what you mean.
00:05:06	Thanks a lot.
00:05:11	Hurry, hurry.
00:05:21	This is the place
00:05:24	This is the spot.
00:05:28	Hurry, hurry.
00:05:31	Plenty of seats available.
00:05:39	Everybody happy on the inside.
00:05:42	We got the greatest show in town.
00:05:46	Come on in and hear
00:05:50	the hottest band in town.
00:05:52	We got the finest food in town.
00:05:55	Hurry, hurry.
00:05:58	Go on right in, bud.
00:06:10	How are your fortune cookies?
00:06:21	Hi, maestro.
00:06:26	Remember your old pal Joey?
00:06:27	How could l forget? You still owe me
00:06:30	What do you think l'm doing here?
00:06:32	- Oh, man, am l glad to see you.
00:06:35	Take it out of
00:06:37	Tell the management
00:06:39	- You're always available.
00:06:42	That's the trouble, you see,
00:06:44	Excuse me a minute.
00:06:50	Listen, can't we go
00:06:54	Have a cup of coffee and
00:06:57	That'd be good,
00:07:00	lf she's a good-looking chick,
00:07:02	She's good-lookin' all right.
00:07:04	You don't understand.
00:07:08	New Joey, huh?
00:07:11	How good-lookin' is she?
00:07:15	Back again, huh?
00:07:27	I'm a red-hot mama
00:07:30	But I'm blue for you
00:07:33	l get purple with anger
00:07:36	At the things you do
00:07:40	And l'm green with envy
00:07:43	When you meet a dame
00:07:46	And you burn my heart up
00:07:48	With an orange flame
00:07:52	I'm a red-hot mama
00:07:55	But you're white and cold
00:07:58	Don't you know your mama
00:08:01	Has a heart of gold
00:08:06	Hey. Who's the mouse
00:08:11	A terrific rainbow
00:08:14	You got to lay off of her, Joey.
00:08:21	She has ambition too.
00:08:23	By the way, l'm helping her
00:08:26	Looks like she's pretty
00:08:35	- Has that crummy M.C. shown up yet?
00:08:39	Yeah, in a crap game. That's twice
00:08:43	What do you want me to do? Cut his
00:08:47	- Yeah, go right into the finale.
00:08:49	Over you and I
00:08:55	Come on, ladies and gentlemen.
00:08:58	You can do better than that.
00:09:02	Thank you. Thank you very much,
00:09:05	We bid you good evening. l'm very happy
00:09:09	San Francisco.
00:09:11	l've never seen him before.
00:09:12	l was born right here in this town,
00:09:16	Yes, sir, my mother
00:09:19	That's in Morse code. Secret Service
00:09:21	- You know this bum?
00:09:24	- What's his name?
00:09:27	ls that the same Joey Evans
00:09:30	at the Hi-Ho Club a few years back?
00:09:33	You mean the same Joey Evans who--
00:09:35	l've had a request to do a song that's
00:09:37	who are blowing their liquor license
00:09:41	""l didn't know--''
00:09:45	l didn't know what time it was
00:09:50	Till l met you
00:09:54	Oh, what a lovely time it was
00:09:59	How sublime it was too
00:10:03	I didn't know what day it was
00:10:08	You held my hand
00:10:11	Warm like the month of May it was
00:10:17	And I'll say it was grand
00:10:19	He's got them in a trance.
00:10:22	Better they stay awake.
00:10:25	lf they won't drink,
00:10:28	Grand to see your face
00:10:32	Hear your voice say I'm yours
00:10:35	Alone
00:10:39	l didn't know what time it was
00:10:43	And then I met you
00:10:47	Oh, what a lovely time it was
00:10:51	How sublime it was too
00:10:54	I didn't know what day it was
00:10:58	Then you held my hand
00:11:01	Warm like the month of May it was
00:11:05	And I'll say it was grand
00:11:09	Grand to be alive, to be young
00:11:12	To be mad, to be yours alone
00:11:16	Grand to see your face
00:11:19	Hear your voice say
00:11:25	He's cute!
00:11:27	You think anyone
00:11:30	That's a lie.
00:11:33	- What l mean is--
00:11:38	l'm wise and
00:11:45	l'm wise and
00:11:52	I'm so wise
00:11:54	And I know what time it is now
00:12:03	Thank you very much.
00:12:09	Okay, hit the finale.
00:12:11	- Say, when do I start?
00:12:14	- What about my billing?
00:12:16	My billing. You know,
00:12:19	- Are you kidding?
00:12:21	l got a big following. Put my picture
00:12:23	You'll have the rope up
00:12:25	One bad night
00:12:27	Get this straight, lover boy.
00:12:30	I don't want you sniffing
00:12:32	One false move and
00:12:36	Yeah, you.
00:12:38	That's what l like, Mike.
00:12:42	Say, nobody's brought it up yet,
00:12:47	- What?
00:12:49	l made it a point never to argue
00:12:54	When the sun goes down
00:12:57	Take your ma and your pa
00:13:00	Boston is England
00:13:04	New York is anyone
00:13:07	But this great big town
00:13:10	ls America's first
00:13:14	San Francisco
00:13:20	She was one of those new kids,
00:13:23	So l coached her a little bit,
00:13:26	She was singin' all those ballads
00:13:28	One day when the fleet landed...
00:13:30	she wanted to know from me
00:13:32	So l told her.
00:13:35	Things were never
00:13:39	- Linda English, Joey Evans.
00:13:43	Yeah, she was quite a doll, that little
00:13:48	Mine? lt was your redheaded girl.
00:13:50	lf you want to get technical
00:13:52	she was really the manager's girl,
00:13:55	So good to see
00:13:57	l've been out of the country. l've been
00:14:00	- You don't look very tan.
00:14:05	lf you really want to know what
00:14:09	- Easy.
00:14:11	- Excuse me, Miss, uh--
00:14:14	- For you, Ned.
00:14:26	l heard about you, buster.
00:14:29	- Big reputation.
00:14:31	But I'm too much of a lady
00:14:36	My sister worked
00:14:39	She told me all about you.
00:14:41	Which one was she?
00:14:43	The one you didn't
00:14:46	Oh, she was the ugly one.
00:14:52	Hey, fellows, good news.
00:14:55	Got a call from the agent, and he wants
00:14:59	Shorty, you call the union
00:15:03	Okay, Ned.
00:15:05	Something must have happened to
00:15:08	- You want to go along?
00:15:12	Wait a minute. Maybe this could be
00:15:16	Ned boy, l'll never
00:15:18	Oh, yes, you wiIl forget it.
00:15:22	- Nice to have met you, Miss, uh--
00:15:25	Gotta remember that.
00:15:56	There is a small hotel
00:16:00	With a wishing well
00:16:03	l wish that we were there
00:16:07	Together
00:16:10	There is a bridal suite
00:16:13	One room bright and neat
00:16:16	Complete for us to share
00:16:19	Together
00:16:23	Looking through the window
00:16:26	You can see a distant steeple
00:16:30	Not a sign of people
00:16:33	Who wants people
00:16:37	When the steeple bell
00:16:40	Says, good night, sleep well
00:16:44	We'll thank the small hotel
00:16:59	l don't recognize the body,
00:17:01	That's Mrs. Prentiss Simpson.
00:17:05	She didn't pick up that action
00:17:07	You're right. She used to be
00:17:12	Then she married a wealthy guy
00:17:14	- lt was all in the papers.
00:17:17	""vanessa, the Undresser.'' l didn't
00:17:21	Not a bad-looking mouse.
00:17:23	lt's too bad you can't
00:17:30	And when the steeple bell
00:17:33	Says, good night, sleep well
00:17:38	We'll thank the small hotel
00:17:41	Together
00:17:55	Sold to the highest bidder, our
00:18:05	Ladies and gentlemen, l believe
00:18:09	l know you'll be
00:18:11	that the Children's Hospital
00:18:14	$17,605.
00:18:19	lt's a wee bit short
00:18:22	but unfortunately we seem to
00:18:27	Just a minute, Mrs. Simpson.
00:18:29	l believe l have
00:18:32	How much would you bid to hear
00:18:38	This is her favorite charity.
00:18:42	How much will you pay
00:18:44	that made her name
00:18:50	Don't tell me you don't
00:18:52	She used to be vera
00:18:56	You needn't start the bidding.
00:19:00	l will get things going
00:19:08	Yes, sir, a thousand bucks
00:19:11	do the number exactly
00:19:14	Well, not exactly because...
00:19:17	she promised the police commissioner
00:19:23	Do l hear 2,000? 2,000?
00:19:26	2,000!
00:19:28	- 3,000!
00:19:29	That's hardly half enough.
00:19:31	We've got to do
00:19:35	l'll bid $4,000.
00:19:42	Do I hear $5,000?
00:19:49	Doesn't any--
00:19:55	5,000--
00:20:02	Please-- $5,000!
00:20:05	- l'll bid 5,000!
00:20:09	Sold to the man for $5,000!
00:20:12	Ladies and gentlemen,
00:20:19	You louse.
00:20:28	ln Paris
00:20:30	Billed as doll
00:20:33	Admired by the great Stravinsky
00:20:36	But my greatest achievement
00:20:40	Was the time I starred for Minsky
00:20:46	You're looking at
00:20:49	But before I unzip one zipper
00:20:52	I want it known
00:20:56	But the intellectual kind
00:21:01	What was I thinking
00:21:06	While I worked these thoughts
00:21:16	Zip, Walter Lippmann
00:21:22	Zip, will the Giants
00:21:28	Zip, l was reading
00:21:34	Zip, and I think
00:21:40	Sigmund Freud has often stated
00:21:44	Zip, I'm a firm believer
00:21:47	Dorothy Dix's daily column
00:21:50	Zip, l can take or leave her
00:21:53	Zip, it took intellect
00:21:59	Zip, every movement
00:22:05	l have read the works of Plato
00:22:08	Zip, I am such a scholar
00:22:11	I don't care for Whistler's mother
00:22:14	Zip, had to make a dollar
00:22:17	Zip, you have asked me
00:22:23	Zip, I've an intellectual quirk
00:22:29	And my thoughts may skip
00:22:35	Oh, zip
00:22:38	Zip, zip
00:22:41	l'm a broad
00:22:52	More! More!
00:22:58	Thank you very much,
00:23:00	Now if you'll all step onto
00:23:06	l think that's a dandy idea.
00:23:09	Just a minute,
00:23:12	The help is being fed
00:23:14	T-R-U--
00:23:16	lf you ever want to make a comeback,
00:23:18	You can reach me
00:23:55	- Good night, Ned.
00:24:17	Before l go, there's
00:24:20	What's that?
00:24:21	What would you have done
00:24:24	Simple. l'd have killed myself.
00:24:27	- Good night, Miss, uh--
00:24:33	- Good night, Linda.
00:24:41	Of all the dirty,
00:24:44	- What are you talking about?
00:24:46	Linda. You know
00:24:49	- l never even gave her a second look.
00:24:52	This is a beautiful girl,
00:24:55	What are you trying to do?
00:24:57	- Who, me?
00:24:59	l told you l turned over a new leaf.
00:25:03	They're all your type, Joey.
00:25:11	Wait a minute.
00:25:14	l'm going to stay with you.
00:25:17	Not with me. I just as soon
00:25:20	Just a minute.
00:25:23	This is your share of tonight's take.
00:25:25	- What?
00:25:28	Ned, l'm hurt, really.
00:25:32	But if that's the way
00:25:34	Sure, l know. l'm going
00:25:37	You may not have
00:26:06	- What do you want?
00:26:09	At this hour?
00:26:11	l need it now.
00:26:31	Sure you're not
00:26:35	Me? No, but l'm not against it.
00:26:39	- Where's your baggage?
00:26:41	lt's coming in the morning.
00:26:43	By the way, when the boy comes,
00:26:48	All right.
00:26:53	l'd like something quiet.
00:26:55	You wouldn't have a room next
00:26:58	l've got just the thing.
00:27:01	next to a young lady--
00:27:05	You share a bath.
00:27:08	We do?
00:27:10	She's nice and clean.
00:27:16	ls this what you want?
00:27:19	lt's the closest thing to it.
00:27:21	l don't allow pets, cooking in the room
00:27:26	unless related.
00:27:28	l have several nieces.
00:27:31	That'll be $40 a month
00:27:35	You wouldn't have change of
00:27:38	Think l want to get
00:27:40	No, of course. Well,
00:27:44	Right. l'll get you some towels.
00:27:58	Thank you.
00:28:00	l'll hurry her up.
00:28:03	- Who is it?
00:28:05	l want you
00:28:15	- You know each other?
00:28:18	- What a coincidence.
00:28:22	If you were my girl,
00:28:27	Well, l'm filling it
00:28:34	You shouldn't really wear pajamas.
00:28:39	The shorties.
00:28:52	l'll pay you next week.
00:28:54	You alter that one to fit this good,
00:28:57	Never mind sending your friends.
00:29:12	Hi there, fellow. Bet you wish
00:29:17	- Well, if it isn't Ned's girl?
00:29:20	Oh? He told me you were.
00:29:24	l don't want to complain, but you
00:29:28	l thought that you
00:29:37	He's a cute fellow, isn't he?
00:29:39	Reminds me of a dog l had when
00:29:42	l was crazy about him. One day
00:29:46	l haven't been able
00:29:51	Wish l could afford to buy him.
00:29:52	Gets a little lonely traveling
00:29:55	Don't you have to run a song over
00:29:58	lf you're speaking about Ned,
00:30:01	You're just good friends.
00:30:03	So long, Snuffy.
00:30:07	By the way, both of us
00:30:11	One of us is
00:30:19	Barbary Coast Club. Come right in
00:30:24	and featuring Joey Evans.
00:30:26	Come on.
00:30:29	- Come on.
00:30:47	When do l get a door
00:30:50	You don't. l couldn't
00:30:53	Say, lover boy, where's that big
00:30:57	lt takes a little while, Mike.
00:30:59	lt better percolate pretty quick.
00:31:01	- Evening, Mr. Megans. Hi, Joey.
00:31:05	Stop over tonight?
00:31:10	This kid's got
00:31:13	Hey, Herm.
00:31:16	Like l was saying, Mike, you got
00:31:18	Your name's out front, isn't it? What's
00:31:22	Sure, they can read, boss.
00:31:24	You're blown up enough already.
00:31:26	Here are your shirts, Joey.
00:31:35	What an arrangement.
00:31:36	You bum. ln two weeks you've moved in
00:31:41	Show time!
00:31:43	- Gladys doesn't appeal to me.
00:31:46	Oh, no? l got plans for this doll.
00:31:52	This little mouse takes
00:31:54	You're wasting your time.
00:31:59	They all do.
00:32:04	lf they asked me
00:32:10	About the way you walk
00:32:18	I could write a preface
00:32:22	On how we met
00:32:24	So the world would never forget
00:32:31	And the simple secret of the plot
00:32:38	ls just to tell them
00:32:40	That l love you a lot
00:32:46	Then the world discovers
00:32:49	As my book ends
00:32:53	How to make two lovers of friends
00:32:58	Whoever heard of singing a love song
00:33:02	Come on.
00:33:05	About the way you walk
00:33:27	And the simple secret of the plot
00:33:33	ls just to tell them
00:33:36	That l love you a lot
00:33:41	Then the world discovers
00:33:45	As my book ends
00:33:49	How to make
00:33:52	Two lovers
00:33:56	Of friends
00:34:16	- Fun, huh?
00:34:19	How's it feeI
00:34:21	Oh, don't let it go to your head.
00:34:29	Just baiting the trap.
00:34:35	Why, you--
00:34:49	Hey, Linda.
00:34:51	l'm taking a bath.
00:34:55	Would you like me
00:34:59	No, and you needn't bother
00:35:06	There's a Band-Aid over it.
00:35:14	How about a nice Sunday dinner?
00:35:17	l'll take you out to the Cliff House,
00:35:19	and a steak and French fries
00:35:22	You know, the whole mishmash.
00:35:24	Thanks. l can't afford it.
00:35:27	What do you mean you can't afford it?
00:35:32	Why, that's very generous
00:35:40	l'd love to.
00:35:50	lt's funny how we both
00:35:52	Yes, mine.
00:35:54	lt's little things like that
00:35:57	Look, there's your friend.
00:36:00	Why, he's glad to see you.
00:36:02	Look how he likes you.
00:36:04	l come by and talk to him
00:36:06	l pretend like he's mine.
00:36:09	You really would like
00:36:11	l'd give my right arm.
00:36:13	- How much is this little terrier?
00:36:16	- Twenty-five bucks?
00:36:18	- Wait a minute. What are you doing?
00:36:22	l couldn't let you throw away
00:36:25	l want you to buy what you really want.
00:36:29	l don't want the--
00:36:32	Mrs. Casey wouId never
00:36:35	Oh, but she will.
00:36:37	She was touched.
00:36:39	She won't be so touched
00:36:41	Nonsense. He'll be housebroke
00:36:44	- Here you are.
00:36:47	Here. A dog to replace Snuffy. He's
00:36:52	That'll be $25, mister.
00:36:55	Would you like to take
00:36:59	Not if l can help it.
00:37:02	What about dinner? They'll never let us
00:37:04	Now don't worry about me.
00:37:09	Look at that.
00:37:11	Yeah, he loves me.
00:37:13	Well, don't Iet it
00:37:16	Bye, Joey. Bye, Snuffy.
00:37:23	Twenty-five bucks
00:37:26	You're not exactly what l expected
00:37:32	Terrier.
00:37:34	Terrier, my ankle.
00:37:36	Bet you don't even know
00:37:39	Don't worry about it.
00:37:43	That makes us members
00:37:45	Let's see what you know.
00:37:51	What a no-talent pooch.
00:37:53	Okay, get some sleep.
00:37:55	Teach you some tricks.
00:38:02	No, my little fellow.
00:38:05	Off!
00:38:06	Here. Come on.
00:38:20	And remember.
00:38:43	Okay, fatten up.
00:38:45	Snuffy! Don't take it!
00:38:47	- You mustn't do that.
00:38:51	- What? Chicken bones?
00:38:56	You mean you used
00:39:01	There never really
00:39:07	There is now.
00:39:12	l guess l played
00:39:15	Doesn't matter.
00:39:23	So are you too.
00:39:31	What's with the milk bit?
00:39:34	l says, ""Doc, how long do l have to
00:39:37	lt doesn't Look good
00:39:40	Hey, Mike, Mrs. Simpson,
00:39:44	Mrs. Simpson? ln my place?
00:39:46	Table nine.
00:39:50	Take him for a walk.
00:39:58	That's her. l told you l'd bring her in.
00:40:01	Do me a favor, will you? Let me
00:40:04	- You're pretty big above your ears.
00:40:06	Some guys got a system with horses,
00:40:11	- Hit me.
00:40:13	You treat a dame like a lady,
00:40:18	And underneath those furs,
00:40:22	This place was definitely
00:40:26	Wouldn't we have more fun bobbing
00:40:30	l've got a little score to settle
00:40:33	Watch Joey lay on the class.
00:40:35	ln the meantime, you stock up
00:40:38	because this dump is going to cater
00:40:43	Good evening, Mrs. Simpson.
00:40:46	l'm so pleased to see you came
00:40:49	Well, the boy auctioneer.
00:40:52	l'd be delighted.
00:40:56	- My name's Stanley.
00:40:59	Stanley and Livingston.
00:41:01	They have a sense of humor. l like that.
00:41:05	- Dad's?
00:41:07	He used to tease me about one thing or
00:41:11	Your flying?
00:41:13	ln my sports plane.
00:41:15	Oh, l love my life.
00:41:18	There's something you get out of flying
00:41:21	Really?
00:41:24	It used to upset him, because
00:41:28	l'm sure you started very young.
00:41:30	lt was while l was studying aeronautics
00:41:35	That is, before l resigned
00:41:39	Pierre!
00:41:40	When is he going to study
00:41:44	Would you bring the folks a bottle
00:41:47	- Oh, yes. Yes, sir.
00:41:50	Care for something to eat? They have
00:41:53	No, thank you.
00:41:56	Yes, l can't say l blame you.
00:42:01	The man who owns this place
00:42:04	We were in the same platoon.
00:42:06	WelI, he wired me for help
00:42:10	l quit my job at the Waldorf,
00:42:13	l've always admired men
00:42:21	Just between you and me l have been
00:42:26	Something very intimate, quiet.
00:42:29	Classy. Maybe have
00:42:33	l'd be there every night.
00:42:36	- You would?
00:42:38	That's wonderful.
00:42:42	What are we going to call it?
00:42:46	Well, l thought
00:42:49	and maybe foreign even.
00:42:53	How about...
00:42:56	Chez Joey?
00:43:01	That's very good. That's perfect.
00:43:04	Here we are.
00:43:06	You sure that stuff is old enough
00:43:09	Yes, sir, 1950,
00:43:13	May have been a good year for the grape,
00:43:17	To Chez Joey.
00:43:25	That's what l like.
00:43:28	Show time.
00:43:30	That's me. Excuse me.
00:43:33	l do a little song
00:43:35	It's a lovely love song,
00:43:41	What is this?
00:43:43	Oh, we were just slumming, beauty,
00:43:47	What's next, boys? That place where
00:43:56	So that"s your system, huh?
00:44:00	Guess l tried it
00:44:02	Your system just run out of the money
00:44:07	You're kiddin'! Don't you know
00:44:10	She had to do that with those
00:44:14	Get your things and get out of here
00:44:17	Wait, wait, wait. You'll be sorry.
00:44:21	lf she doesn't come back by Saturday,
00:44:24	- You bet you wilI.
00:44:29	With a raise?
00:44:32	Okay, you got a deal.
00:44:52	Excuse me, madam.
00:44:55	He wouldn't give his name.
00:44:57	When l asked his business, he seemed
00:45:02	- Sounds like Superboy.
00:45:05	Same vernacular. l'lI see him.
00:45:08	You bet you will.
00:45:15	All right, what is it?
00:45:18	- l dropped in to say good-bye.
00:45:22	Yep, away.
00:45:24	lt worked, baby.
00:45:27	- l'm through at the end of this week.
00:45:30	Don't worry your head about it.
00:45:36	What l really come up here for
00:45:39	so you wouldn't get any wrong ideas
00:45:42	Wouldn't want you to get any cockeyed
00:45:48	The only thing about you that
00:45:54	- Do l make myself clear?
00:46:00	By the way...
00:46:03	if you knew what you were throwing away,
00:46:09	Oh, Mr. Evans?
00:46:16	Have you had lunch?
00:46:18	Thank you, Mrs. Simpson,
00:46:45	Okay, it's lunchtime. Come on.
00:46:49	There you go.
00:46:51	Come on, boy.
00:46:56	l know it's not chopped liver,
00:46:59	for the time being, anyway.
00:47:02	Here. Try this bagel.
00:47:05	Hey, the fingers are mine. Easy.
00:47:08	You ought to try that with
00:47:15	You stick with me,
00:47:23	Okay, it's time for your lessons.
00:47:26	Let's see what you've learned.
00:47:29	We'll begin with the praying bit.
00:47:32	And while you're at it, pray that
00:47:50	Lover boy.
00:47:51	You're gonna love it on the road.
00:47:54	Joey, it's Linda.
00:47:58	Yeah, sure, come in.
00:48:06	Gladys says you're leaving.
00:48:08	Yeah, that's right.
00:48:13	Why didn't you tell me?
00:48:16	Why should l?
00:48:19	Well, of course l do.
00:48:23	l don't care about
00:48:27	l just care about you.
00:48:30	Do you mean that, Joey,
00:48:35	Of course l mean it.
00:48:37	We're sure gonna miss her,
00:48:40	l'm gonna miss you too.
00:48:42	l'm very fond of Snuffy.
00:48:47	Why don't the three of us
00:48:52	Show business
00:48:54	We may never run into each other again.
00:49:02	All right, Joey.
00:49:07	l'll take you out to the Cliff House,
00:49:10	and steak and French fries
00:49:13	You know, the whole mishmash.
00:49:25	Mind the store.
00:49:31	l'll finish your laundry, Joey.
00:49:35	Gee, l sure am gonna miss you.
00:49:38	l'm gonna miss you too, doll.
00:49:48	l hear you got
00:49:52	lf you mean that you heard l was
00:49:55	l'm on my way to New York,
00:49:58	Are you kiddin'?
00:50:00	The only way you could get to Morocco
00:50:03	Funny! Funny!
00:50:04	- Here's some scraps for your dog, Joey.
00:50:07	- Don't mention it.
00:50:10	Why not? lt's good stuff.
00:50:13	Would you care to join us, sloppy?
00:50:27	Take it easy.
00:50:32	- Mrs. Simpson !
00:50:34	- Won't you come in?
00:50:39	You? Never!
00:50:44	l'm in the mood
00:50:46	- Pete, get the boys out of the kitchen.
00:50:49	Champagne for the band
00:50:53	- Double brandy for Mrs. Simpson!
00:51:07	- l believe you have a singer.
00:51:11	Joey, sing a song for the lady.
00:51:14	What would the lady
00:51:16	Tell him to surprise me.
00:51:18	Joey, surprise the lady.
00:51:23	l'lI surprise the lady.
00:51:28	Double brandy.
00:51:38	Twenty-six.
00:51:54	She gets too hungry
00:51:57	For dinner at 8:00
00:52:01	She likes the theater
00:52:05	Never comes late
00:52:09	She'd never bother
00:52:12	With people she'd hate
00:52:16	That's why the lady is a tramp
00:52:23	Doesn't like crap games
00:52:27	With barons and earls
00:52:31	Won't go to Harlem
00:52:35	In ermine and pearls
00:52:38	Won't dish the dirt
00:52:42	With the rest of the girls
00:52:45	That's why the lady is a tramp
00:52:51	She likes the free
00:52:55	Free fresh wind in her hair
00:53:01	Life without care
00:53:04	She's broke, but it's oke
00:53:08	Hates California
00:53:11	It's cold and it's damp
00:53:15	That's why the lady is a tramp
00:53:22	She gets far too hungry
00:53:26	To wait for dinner at 8:00
00:53:30	She adores the theater
00:53:33	And she doesn't arrive late
00:53:38	She'd never bother
00:53:41	With people she'd hate
00:53:45	That is why the lady is a tramp
00:53:53	Won't have a dice game
00:53:56	With any barons and earls
00:54:00	She will never go up to Harlem
00:54:03	Dressed in ermine and pearls
00:54:08	Won't dish the dirt
00:54:11	With all the other girls
00:54:15	That is why the lady is a tramp
00:54:21	She loves the free
00:54:25	Free fresh wind in her hair
00:54:30	Life without care
00:54:33	She's broke
00:54:37	Hates California
00:54:41	'Cause it's so cold and so damp
00:54:45	That's why the lady
00:54:48	That's why the lady
00:54:52	That's why the lady is a tramp
00:56:07	Come now, beauty.
00:56:32	Not only will l give him a raise,
00:56:35	Champagne for everybody!
00:56:52	What do you know,
00:56:56	- v-E-R-A.
00:56:59	- See how smart l am?
00:57:01	I'd love to, Captain.
00:57:11	This is quite a hideout.
00:57:13	Providing you have
00:57:16	Oh, that can be arranged.
00:57:19	Yeah, this is a clever kayak,
00:57:21	My husband gave it to me.
00:57:24	He's never been aboard.
00:57:26	Why doesn't he try
00:57:31	This is the dining salon.
00:57:35	l know, it's where you keep
00:57:39	Nothing. Well--
00:57:42	And this is the master suite.
00:57:45	By the way,
00:57:50	My husband died two years ago.
00:57:52	And no cracks.
00:57:54	l was just gonna say that if you ever
00:57:58	you might like to go back
00:58:01	No thank you.
00:58:02	l like being Mrs. Prentiss Simpson.
00:58:05	l'm not knocking you
00:58:08	But l just thought you and me as a team,
00:58:14	Aren't you afraid you might
00:58:18	Don't be ridiculous.
00:58:20	Why don't you get out
00:58:23	and l'll give you
00:58:27	Oh, beauty.
00:58:29	You have all the subtlety
00:58:36	But you wrong me, my dear.
00:58:41	What l meant was perhaps you'd like to
00:58:45	one l used to do
00:58:48	No thank you.
00:58:50	That would bring back
00:58:52	The sticks, split weeks,
00:58:57	Drunks tossing pennies.
00:59:02	That's the story of my life.
00:59:06	But l'm going places
00:59:09	l gonna have a club
00:59:12	my name up in lights.
00:59:15	No hokey waiters rattling plates
00:59:18	No tough managers
00:59:23	Be my own boss.
00:59:26	Nobody owns Joey but Joey.
00:59:30	Chez Joey?
00:59:37	Chez Joey:
00:59:42	l might even appear
00:59:47	Might even wear an opera hat.
00:59:55	Suave stuff.
00:59:57	Easygoing stuff.
01:00:00	l might do all of the patter
01:00:03	Maybe l'll do
01:00:05	Maybe you'd better not.
01:00:07	That's what l said.
01:00:10	You'd give a lot
01:00:15	Anything.
01:00:19	How about it?
01:00:24	What would l get out of it?
01:00:28	Name something.
01:00:32	There"s nothing l don't have.
01:00:36	You want a bet?
01:00:39	After all, two years is a long time
01:00:46	Oh, you can hit
01:01:14	Yes, isn't it?
01:01:48	He's a fool...
01:01:50	and don't l know it.
01:01:53	But a fool can have his charms.
01:02:00	l'm in love...
01:02:02	and don't l show it.
01:02:06	Like a babe...
01:02:10	in arms.
01:02:14	Men are not a new sensation
01:02:18	l've done pretty well
01:02:22	But this half-pint imitation
01:02:26	Put me on the blink
01:02:32	I'm wild again
01:02:35	Beguiled again
01:02:39	A simpering, whimpering
01:02:42	Child again
01:02:45	Bewitched, bothered
01:02:49	And bewildered
01:02:53	Am I
01:02:59	Couldn't sleep
01:03:02	And wouldn't sleep
01:03:06	And what would l do
01:03:09	If l shouldn't sleep
01:03:13	Bewitched, bothered
01:03:16	And bewildered
01:03:20	Am l
01:03:27	Lost my heart
01:03:30	But what of it
01:03:34	My mistake
01:03:37	I agree
01:03:41	He's a laugh
01:03:44	But I love it
01:03:47	Because the love's
01:03:55	A pill he is
01:03:58	But still he is
01:04:01	All mine
01:04:04	And l'll keep him until he is
01:04:08	Bewitched, bothered
01:04:12	And bewildered
01:04:16	Like me
01:04:40	l guess the laugh's on me
01:04:46	I've slipped again
01:04:49	I've tripped again
01:04:53	The way to my heart
01:05:29	Linda, you up yet?
01:05:32	l've been up for hours.
01:05:34	Open the door.
01:05:42	What do you want?
01:05:44	What's the idea
01:05:47	l get it. You're burned up
01:05:50	What possible difference
01:05:54	Good morning, Snuffy.
01:05:55	l've got a bone for you.
01:06:00	Speaking of Snuffy, l'm thinking
01:06:04	l'm planning on
01:06:08	Gonna move to a place that fits
01:06:11	- You're not gonna leave the club?
01:06:14	l'm gonna take the club with me.
01:06:18	Look straight up the top
01:06:21	That's where l'll take the club.
01:06:23	Little old me.
01:06:27	- You?
01:06:29	and Mike and all the girls
01:06:33	lt's gonna be the same cast,
01:06:37	How? What happened?
01:06:40	No. As a matter of fact,
01:06:43	- l have a partner.
01:06:46	Yes, ma'am, we're gonna have
01:06:51	- Who's we?
01:06:54	Who is your partner, Joey?
01:06:59	Mrs. Simpson.
01:07:02	Now wait a minute.
01:07:04	This is a legitimate business--
01:07:07	lawyers, six-percent interest,
01:07:09	Everything?
01:07:10	Now don't give me
01:07:13	After all, this could be my big chance,
01:07:16	because l got a great idea for you
01:07:20	Tell me. Just what do l
01:07:23	Just remember all the lyrics.
01:07:27	How about Snuffy?
01:07:32	You bet l'll take him.
01:07:45	His leash.
01:07:50	Bye, Snuffy.
01:07:53	Lucky little dog,
01:07:56	Don't let her fool you.
01:07:58	She just acts like
01:08:51	Good morning, Mr. Boss.
01:08:53	How are you, Herm?
01:08:56	Now that you got this swell new joint,
01:09:00	Not at all.
01:09:02	Gee, Joey, thanks.
01:09:05	Wherever there's mice,
01:09:20	l'd like them about
01:09:23	Out to here.
01:09:40	Well, there it is, Chez Joey,
01:09:45	A dream come true.
01:09:48	- lt means that much to you?
01:09:52	Took a lot of years of scrounging
01:09:56	That isn't how you got it.
01:10:01	Oh, l'm sorry.
01:10:03	l shouldn't have said it.
01:10:09	Maybe you're in love with her.
01:10:12	He looks a little thin.
01:10:16	A lot better than you did.
01:10:23	Maybe he's getting lonely.
01:10:27	Don't look at me.
01:10:48	Who was that?
01:10:50	One of the mice in the line.
01:10:52	- The pretty one?
01:10:55	You were certainly knee-deep
01:10:57	l was asking about my dog.
01:10:59	Yours? What's she doing with it?
01:11:03	l gave him to her when
01:11:07	- She lived there too?
01:11:11	Why didn't you bring him with you?
01:11:14	Because he wasn't yet
01:11:40	My funny valentine
01:11:44	Sweet comic valentine
01:11:48	You make me smile
01:11:51	With my heart
01:11:56	Your looks are laughable
01:12:00	Unphotographable
01:12:04	Yet you're my favorite
01:12:07	Work of art
01:12:12	ls your figure less than Greek
01:12:16	Is your mouth a little weak
01:12:21	When you open it to speak
01:12:25	Are you smart
01:12:31	But don't change a hair for me
01:12:36	Not if you care for me
01:12:39	Stay, little valentine
01:12:49	Each day
01:12:51	Is Valentine's Day
01:13:03	- When did she spring from the chorus?
01:13:05	The mouse in the spotlight.
01:13:09	l'm beginning to talk like you.
01:13:11	You mean Linda?
01:13:15	He's kind of stuck on her.
01:13:17	We talked it over
01:13:22	Ready for what?
01:13:54	very nice, Miss English.
01:13:56	lt was just wonderful,
01:13:58	Pretty good, huh, Ned?
01:14:01	Come on, kids. Let's go.
01:14:03	Don't you think
01:14:05	Not quite good enough.
01:14:07	She's just beginning. Give her time.
01:14:12	l think she'd be better off
01:14:15	Would you like to explain that?
01:14:17	l'll make it simple for you.
01:14:19	She's out.
01:14:21	- You want me to fire her?
01:14:25	l figure it's the onIy way
01:14:30	l don't mean the club,
01:14:34	l think it's a stinkin' trick.
01:14:38	Come now, beauty.
01:14:41	Don't tell me you've developed
01:14:54	Come on, Snuffy.
01:14:59	Linda, you decent?
01:15:01	Just about. Come in.
01:15:09	l've been thinking that
01:15:12	l decided to give you
01:15:14	- You did?
01:15:16	That's wonderful.
01:15:19	l thought maybe
01:15:24	But Gladys does that number.
01:15:26	You wind up out there
01:15:29	What do you think l am?
01:15:31	You're the best built mouse in the
01:15:37	l won't do it!
01:15:41	l'm sorry, baby, but l've already
01:15:45	- l just thought you'd be pleased.
01:15:50	There's something more to this.
01:15:52	You knew l'd say no.
01:15:55	Your girlfriend told you
01:15:59	- Look--
01:16:01	But you didn't have the guts, did you?
01:16:05	Chez Joey.
01:16:08	Why don't you change it
01:16:12	What are you waiting for?
01:16:42	What happened to your head?
01:16:44	There's something you ought to know.
01:16:48	That's the same thing.
01:16:50	Don't let it bother you. l'm sure she'll
01:16:53	Sure. She can always pitch
01:17:09	l want a bourbon, straight.
01:17:15	lsn't it a little early in the day
01:17:19	On second thought,
01:18:03	- What's with the watch bit?
01:18:07	What for? We got all night.
01:18:10	Oh, no, we haven't, beauty.
01:18:12	l'm giving a dinner party.
01:18:15	So?
01:18:17	Put another plate at the table.
01:18:19	lt would make 13,
01:18:24	Only thing l'm superstitious about
01:18:28	You'll have to leave.
01:18:32	l guess you think maybe l don't know
01:18:35	Well, you're right, l don't, but l
01:18:40	l'll see you at the boat later.
01:18:45	l'll go down to the corner
01:18:49	How should l have my hamburger...
01:18:52	with or without onions?
01:18:56	Without.
01:18:58	You're a cinch.
01:19:21	What happened?
01:19:23	l had to hear ""Tristan and lsolde.''
01:19:26	Hear him do what?
01:19:30	lt's an opera.
01:19:31	Of course.
01:19:33	Afterward, they all came back here
01:19:40	Aren't you gonna pipe me aboard?
01:19:43	- What was that?
01:19:47	Sleep tight, doll.
01:19:53	Man's best friend.
01:19:57	Or was that your mother?
01:19:58	I wonder what she'd say
01:20:04	She'd say that you were stoned.
01:20:06	And she'd also want to know
01:20:09	l decided to take your offer.
01:20:11	What offer?
01:20:14	Strip.
01:20:16	Peeled.
01:20:19	Take it off and let it lay.
01:20:26	You were right.
01:20:28	l do have a good shape.
01:20:33	Confidentially...
01:20:36	l'm stacked.
01:20:39	Bet you thought l wouldn't,
01:20:41	l'll bet you even thought
01:20:44	But l can.
01:20:50	And l will.
01:22:30	Bewitched
01:22:32	Bothered
01:22:57	lt's all right, Snuffy.
01:22:59	lf l walk in my sleep,
01:23:25	Well, good morning.
01:23:29	Oh, what's good about it?
01:23:32	Oh, your first hangover, huh?
01:23:36	Well, there's a first time
01:23:44	Why do people drink when
01:23:48	Maybe because it feels so good
01:23:56	What did l do last night?
01:24:00	You kissed me.
01:24:03	l wasn't myself.
01:24:05	Yeah, but whoever you were,
01:24:10	Then what?
01:24:12	Then you passed out.
01:24:14	I'm ashamed of myself.
01:24:16	Me too.
01:24:19	Why? What did you do?
01:24:23	Nothing.
01:24:25	Let's try on some breakfast.
01:24:28	lt'll do you good.
01:24:34	Nice and easy.
01:24:40	Snuffy, please.
01:24:47	- There you are.
01:24:49	You can't go through your life
01:24:54	l couldn't, Joey.
01:24:56	l got an idea.
01:24:58	lt's an old family recipe.
01:25:03	My old man wrote the book.
01:25:07	l think this will
01:25:11	Come on, Snuff.
01:25:17	A bagel.
01:25:29	Something he picked up from me.
01:25:34	Fine pupil.
01:25:35	- You really don't feel well, do you?
01:25:41	You see, where l come from...
01:25:43	a girl just doesn't spend the night
01:25:49	Of course, we don't have
01:25:51	By the way,
01:25:53	Albuquerque.
01:25:57	What's wrong with Albuquerque?
01:25:59	For one thing,
01:26:02	Secondly, l'm surprised your mother
01:26:05	Well, my mother says a nice girl's
01:26:09	Yeah, l know.
01:26:12	She didn't say that.
01:26:15	Besides, what about last night?
01:26:18	l made a fool out of myself,
01:26:21	Don't pin any medals on me.
01:26:23	lt just so happens in my book
01:26:27	Why are you ashamed
01:26:30	Maybe it's because
01:26:33	You got a feIlow in Albuquerque?
01:26:35	l suppose you could caIl him that.
01:26:40	Grease monkey. No contest.
01:26:44	He owns the garage.
01:26:49	Well, l better go.
01:26:51	Thanks for everything.
01:27:10	Maybe l ought to start
01:27:13	You mean, now that you're sober
01:27:18	Was it your idea...
01:27:20	or was it hers?
01:27:22	Of course it was my idea.
01:27:24	l run the joint, don't l?
01:27:28	All right then, if you really want
01:27:31	Good. l'm glad you decided to.
01:28:36	The first guy who drops a knife
01:28:41	That's all, kids. Thank you.
01:30:40	l never thought she'd do it.
01:30:42	l've seen 'em come and go,
01:30:54	Hold it.
01:30:57	Cut.
01:30:59	You can all stop drooling.
01:31:02	Put your clothes on.
01:31:06	Well, what do you know.
01:31:09	l'll hit you a shot in the head.
01:31:13	A pIeasure.
01:31:34	Here. Try this.
01:31:38	l'm sorry.
01:31:40	Forget it.
01:31:43	No, it wasn't. lt was awful.
01:31:46	l know what you mean.
01:31:49	l guess your mother was right.
01:31:51	A nice girl's a nice girl anywhere
01:31:58	l shouldn't have let you do it.
01:32:05	Fix your face and put on your dress.
01:32:16	Joey, somebody wants to see you.
01:32:25	l won't be long.
01:32:50	Hi, doll. What's the rush?
01:32:55	lt may not be necessary.
01:32:58	What do you mean?
01:33:00	You lied to me.
01:33:05	Well, she did,
01:33:09	Be reasonable, baby.
01:33:12	The mouse means nothing to me. She needs
01:33:15	Then tell her
01:33:17	Get her out.
01:33:21	ls that an order?
01:33:26	Yes, it is.
01:33:29	- But l don't like orders.
01:33:36	You mean you'd shut the whole thing
01:33:41	lt isn't just one
01:33:44	lt's what she stands for.
01:33:48	You made a fool of yourself--
01:33:51	Now go out there
01:33:56	What are you waiting for?
01:34:00	l told you something once.
01:34:06	Nobody owns Joey but Joey.
01:34:11	l'll show you who owns Joey.
01:34:18	Mike, pay everybody off.
01:34:23	And take down the sign.
01:34:43	Joey, shalI l break the news?
01:34:46	Thanks, Mike. l'll do it.
01:34:51	Mr. Evans, we have the house lights on
01:34:55	Fine.
01:34:58	Mr. Evans, l've arranged
01:35:01	They're lovely. Thank you.
01:35:05	- The tables will be ready for 7:30.
01:35:12	Mike's okay now.
01:35:14	Yeah, l'll try it.
01:35:26	Gather around, kids.
01:35:28	l got a short announcement to make,
01:35:32	Don't look now,
01:35:39	l told you you'd get
01:35:43	But l'm not kidding about it.
01:35:46	or tomorrow night
01:35:51	l'm sorry to tell you this, kids,
01:35:55	The little lady picked up her marbles
01:36:23	- l'm sorry.
01:36:28	l said beat it!
01:37:08	Someone to see you, madam.
01:37:11	- Show him in.
01:37:14	- A Miss English.
01:37:22	This way, miss.
01:37:29	You wanted to see me?
01:37:31	lt's about Joey.
01:37:33	l know how you feel.
01:37:35	And you're wrong.
01:37:40	Are you sure about that,
01:37:43	l am quite sure.
01:37:46	Let the club open, please.
01:37:48	You're hurting
01:37:51	You're not concerned with other people.
01:37:55	Aren't you?
01:37:59	Well, let's say
01:38:02	We're alike, Joey and l--
01:38:05	I'm not so sure of that.
01:38:07	Joey's better than you think.
01:38:11	Nobody's better than he thinks.
01:38:16	lt may come as quite a surprise,
01:38:21	l do believe there's been nothing
01:38:23	That makes you all
01:38:25	You may not know it, but when Joey told
01:38:30	he played the greatest love scene
01:38:37	l could undress in the lobby
01:38:40	he'd never turn a hair.
01:38:43	So, you see, Miss English...
01:38:47	with you on the scene...
01:38:49	l couldn't possibly
01:38:53	lf l wasn't on the scene?
01:38:55	Well, I might give it
01:39:00	After all, I rather enjoyed
01:39:05	Of course, it wouldn't do to let our boy
01:39:08	He dislikes being
01:39:11	except financial.
01:39:55	Why not? l earned them.
01:40:05	You can unpack, Joey.
01:40:11	- l said l've changed my mind.
01:40:16	But you don't understand.
01:40:19	The club will open.
01:40:22	lt won't happen again.
01:40:24	Sure. One false move and
01:40:30	That's not true.
01:40:33	very well. l'll prove it.
01:40:37	We'll get married.
01:40:41	Don't give me that marriage bit.
01:40:46	lt isn't a favor.
01:40:48	l want it that way.
01:40:51	So the lady wants it that way.
01:40:54	""Well, jump, Joey.''
01:40:55	Now, darling, Joey,
01:40:59	Can we go now?
01:41:02	l got a big flash for you, Mrs. Simpson.
01:41:07	Don't take it so big.
01:41:09	l'm doing you a big favor.
01:41:14	Darling, l--
01:41:18	Take more than a gold band
01:41:21	to make an honest man
01:41:24	That's a little job
01:41:28	Thanks for the use of the pad.
01:41:39	l guess that's that.
01:41:43	That's that.
01:41:55	ls it the mouse?
01:41:59	Maybe.
01:42:04	Maybe you should tell her.
01:42:07	What for?
01:42:50	All of this could have been yours,
01:42:54	And you blew it
01:42:57	You never seem to learn,
01:43:16	Dames
01:43:21	What do I care for a dame
01:43:28	Every old dame is the same
01:43:31	Every hokey dame is the same
01:43:34	l got a future
01:43:37	You can be sure I'll be tops
01:43:41	I'm independent
01:43:44	And l'll own a nightclub
01:43:47	I'll be in with the cops
01:43:52	What do l care for the skirts
01:43:58	l'll make 'em pay
01:44:02	Let 'em put up
01:44:05	I'm gonna own a nightclub
01:44:08	It's gonna be
01:44:11	For the swell gentry
01:44:14	l'll wear a top hat and cane
01:44:18	In Chez Joey
01:44:22	The gay Joey
01:44:24	l can see it
01:44:28	Plain
01:46:06	So long, little bird.
01:46:27	Where are we going?
01:46:29	What do you mean ""we''?
01:46:31	We're both out of work,
01:46:35	l don't know about you,
01:46:38	Fine. l've always wanted
01:46:44	Well, look, you asked me
01:46:47	What are you trying to do,
01:46:51	- l thought we were good together.
01:46:54	Know what you're getting into?
01:46:59	Why don't you beat it?
01:47:04	Look, l have no desire
01:47:07	Now why don't you beat it?
01:47:14	Why don't you get out
01:47:28	What do you think l'm made of? Don't
01:47:55	Well, l guess we weren't
01:47:59	And l can use a girl in the act--
01:48:02	- l could always do a strip.
01:48:06	Well, how about my billing?
01:48:08	- Your what?
01:48:12	Well, it'lI be ""Joey Evans
01:48:18	Well, how about...
01:48:20	""Joey and Linda Evans''?
01:48:22	lt"s shorter.
01:48:23	l got a better idea.
01:48:27	How about ""Joey Evans and Company''?
01:48:33	And the simple secret
01:48:38	ls just to tell them
01:48:43	Then the world discovers
01:48:48	How to make two lovers
01:48:52	Of friends

Pal Joey