|
Postal
|
| 00:00:13 |
Tower two. |
| 00:00:16 |
Stand by. |
| 00:00:24 |
That's affirmative. |
| 00:00:25 |
Congratulations, Nabi. |
| 00:00:29 |
We are at the doorstep |
| 00:00:31 |
Praise Allah. |
| 00:00:33 |
Praise him! |
| 00:00:34 |
Soon we will be greeted |
| 00:00:38 |
and by the cheers |
| 00:00:41 |
and by 99 perfect virgins |
| 00:00:44 |
who will worship us |
| 00:00:47 |
I thought it was 100. |
| 00:00:48 |
What's that? |
| 00:00:50 |
100 virgins -- |
| 00:00:52 |
99, 100 -- |
| 00:00:54 |
If they're telling you one thing |
| 00:00:57 |
maybe they don't know |
| 00:00:58 |
Maybe. |
| 00:01:00 |
Maybe the exact number |
| 00:01:03 |
I mean, if it's in the 90s, |
| 00:01:05 |
Or 75. |
| 00:01:07 |
Hey, I'm not greedy, |
| 00:01:11 |
Well... |
| 00:01:12 |
What if it's 10, but we have |
| 00:01:16 |
Then you'll have |
| 00:01:17 |
than you have right now, |
| 00:01:19 |
We're talking |
| 00:01:21 |
How long will five virgins |
| 00:01:24 |
They're not going to be virgins |
| 00:01:26 |
Look, would it make |
| 00:01:29 |
if we called the big guy? |
| 00:01:31 |
Yes. |
| 00:01:32 |
Take the stick. |
| 00:01:41 |
It's ringing. |
| 00:01:43 |
Osama, yes, it's Asif. |
| 00:01:45 |
No, we're on it. |
| 00:01:46 |
It was fine, but security |
| 00:01:50 |
What are you going to do? |
| 00:01:51 |
Anyway, look, |
| 00:01:53 |
Will you talk to him? |
| 00:01:54 |
No! |
| 00:01:57 |
You do it! |
| 00:02:00 |
Hello! |
| 00:02:02 |
Yes. |
| 00:02:04 |
Uh, it's about the virgins. |
| 00:02:08 |
Really? |
| 00:02:10 |
It was 100 when I signed up. |
| 00:02:14 |
He said |
| 00:02:16 |
Too many martyrs |
| 00:02:19 |
You've got to be kidding me. |
| 00:02:21 |
Give me the phone. |
| 00:02:22 |
Take the stick. |
| 00:02:24 |
Osama, it's Asif. |
| 00:02:26 |
Right now, can you tell me |
| 00:02:30 |
that you can guarantee |
| 00:02:32 |
as far |
| 00:02:37 |
No, that's fine. |
| 00:02:39 |
Do it! |
| 00:02:41 |
Come on, man! |
| 00:02:42 |
He can't guarantee |
| 00:02:45 |
Open the goddamn door, |
| 00:02:48 |
We're gonna fucking |
| 00:02:50 |
Lying pieces of shit! |
| 00:02:51 |
Open the door! |
| 00:02:53 |
Screw this, right? |
| 00:02:55 |
I'm glad you said it first. |
| 00:02:56 |
Okay, get on the intercom |
| 00:02:58 |
We are changing course |
| 00:03:00 |
Bahamas! |
| 00:03:02 |
Aah! |
| 00:03:06 |
We're going to the Bahamas! |
| 00:03:12 |
Aah! |
| 00:03:47 |
...Has again expanded |
| 00:03:49 |
this time to include any union |
| 00:03:53 |
a man and a man, |
| 00:03:55 |
a man and a collie, |
| 00:03:57 |
or a woman, a polish sausage, |
| 00:03:59 |
The standoff with Mr. Cruise |
| 00:04:01 |
Has now stretched |
| 00:04:03 |
Cruise continues to insist |
| 00:04:05 |
that police are violating |
| 00:04:06 |
his parental |
| 00:04:08 |
citing human sacrifice |
| 00:04:11 |
Today on |
| 00:04:13 |
mayoral candidate Eugene Wells |
| 00:04:14 |
joins us to talk about |
| 00:04:16 |
and the newest toy craze |
| 00:04:20 |
Krotchy dolls. |
| 00:04:21 |
Stay tuned. It's gonna be |
| 00:04:23 |
Turn down that fucking TV! |
| 00:04:25 |
I can't hear my show. |
| 00:04:28 |
Yeah, |
| 00:04:30 |
Just, uh, preparing |
| 00:04:33 |
Fight! |
| 00:04:34 |
Aw, you fight like a pussy. |
| 00:04:36 |
No one's gonna hire |
| 00:04:38 |
Why don't you go suck up |
| 00:04:45 |
God damn it! |
| 00:04:47 |
What the hell |
| 00:04:49 |
Ugh. |
| 00:04:51 |
Nothing. |
| 00:04:53 |
Make sure you pick up |
| 00:04:55 |
Kiss, kiss, |
| 00:05:01 |
Come on! |
| 00:05:02 |
Come on! |
| 00:05:04 |
No. |
| 00:05:05 |
Bad boy. |
| 00:05:07 |
I told you -- |
| 00:05:08 |
No poopies in this yard. |
| 00:05:10 |
You only poop in |
| 00:05:15 |
Feces in the yard. |
| 00:05:18 |
That's a violation |
| 00:05:19 |
of trailer-park |
| 00:05:23 |
Stop eating the poop. |
| 00:05:24 |
I'll add that to the list. |
| 00:05:25 |
Th-the list? |
| 00:05:26 |
The list. Great. The list. |
| 00:05:28 |
What else |
| 00:05:30 |
Ordinance number 143-11. |
| 00:05:33 |
Yesterday around lunchtime. |
| 00:05:35 |
Now, I don't care what you two |
| 00:05:37 |
but ordinance number 143-11 |
| 00:05:40 |
says if I hear your lewd |
| 00:05:43 |
I get to file a grievance |
| 00:05:45 |
which is |
| 00:05:47 |
Oh. Oh. |
| 00:05:50 |
Well, at least I wasn't boning |
| 00:05:52 |
Oh, for your information, |
| 00:05:55 |
I wasn't even here |
| 00:06:06 |
I hate this town. |
| 00:06:07 |
Matt! |
| 00:06:09 |
This fucking sucks. |
| 00:06:10 |
And NASA, |
| 00:06:12 |
The National Aeronautics |
| 00:06:15 |
does not exist. |
| 00:06:17 |
All the space missions |
| 00:06:19 |
since we were little kids |
| 00:06:22 |
creations of Hollywood. |
| 00:06:24 |
We did not land on the moon. |
| 00:06:26 |
There is no John Glenn. |
| 00:06:28 |
Well, there's a John Glenn |
| 00:06:31 |
Hey, hello? |
| 00:06:32 |
You, professor. |
| 00:06:33 |
What is this, |
| 00:06:35 |
Yeah, yeah. |
| 00:06:36 |
Ah, no "two minutes" now. |
| 00:06:38 |
You buy now, or bye-bye. |
| 00:06:39 |
Bye-dee now now. |
| 00:06:40 |
Ah, go on, bye-bye. |
| 00:06:42 |
Bye-bye. |
| 00:06:43 |
Goodbye. Goodbye. |
| 00:06:44 |
Don't let the door |
| 00:06:46 |
Daddy, Mohammed says he needs |
| 00:06:50 |
What about? |
| 00:06:51 |
What else? |
| 00:06:52 |
Okay, so, what did she say |
| 00:06:56 |
That slut. |
| 00:06:57 |
# killer, yeah, |
| 00:06:59 |
# with an AK-47 |
| 00:07:02 |
# jihad killers # |
| 00:07:03 |
# man, it's hot in here # |
| 00:07:04 |
# you just to stake that |
| 00:07:06 |
# jihad killers # |
| 00:07:07 |
My brother. |
| 00:07:10 |
Any police come around today? |
| 00:07:12 |
No, nothing, Mohammed. |
| 00:07:14 |
Trust me... |
| 00:07:15 |
you are safely hidden here |
| 00:07:18 |
Well, that may not |
| 00:07:21 |
Oh? |
| 00:07:21 |
We have news |
| 00:07:24 |
News? Oh. |
| 00:07:26 |
It is all coming together. |
| 00:07:28 |
The shipment |
| 00:07:31 |
Oh. |
| 00:07:32 |
Praise Allah. |
| 00:07:35 |
When, uh, will be it here? |
| 00:07:36 |
Tomorrow! |
| 00:07:38 |
The time has come for us |
| 00:07:43 |
to the genitals |
| 00:07:47 |
Whoo-hoo! |
| 00:08:09 |
Gah. |
| 00:08:14 |
I see |
| 00:08:16 |
motivational. |
| 00:08:17 |
Those are |
| 00:08:19 |
that I had to climb over |
| 00:08:22 |
Jesus. |
| 00:08:26 |
Foul. |
| 00:08:28 |
They're -- |
| 00:08:29 |
Sit down. |
| 00:08:34 |
Let's get started. |
| 00:08:35 |
So, I hope you don't mi-- |
| 00:08:39 |
I hope you don't mind |
| 00:08:41 |
Uh, we're gonna use it |
| 00:08:45 |
Ready? |
| 00:08:46 |
Uh, yeah, yeah. |
| 00:08:49 |
What the fuck is wrong |
| 00:08:51 |
It's, uh -- |
| 00:08:53 |
All right, |
| 00:08:54 |
So let's get started, |
| 00:08:56 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:08:57 |
Good. |
| 00:08:59 |
Well... |
| 00:09:01 |
Um, so, I'm here |
| 00:09:04 |
Right. |
| 00:09:06 |
I was. |
| 00:09:07 |
I was a factory worker, but |
| 00:09:10 |
so I got laid off, and -- |
| 00:09:12 |
I've interviewed 15 other people |
| 00:09:14 |
What makes you think |
| 00:09:16 |
Well, I don't know |
| 00:09:18 |
Well, god damn it, pal. |
| 00:09:19 |
If you want this job, you better |
| 00:09:21 |
You better put |
| 00:09:26 |
You know what? Fuck it. |
| 00:09:28 |
What is |
| 00:09:30 |
Um... |
| 00:09:31 |
I'm a really good team player. |
| 00:09:34 |
Wrong. |
| 00:09:37 |
What is |
| 00:09:40 |
Um, I'd say I work too hard. |
| 00:09:43 |
Wrong. |
| 00:09:45 |
How would you move a |
| 00:09:48 |
A spoon? |
| 00:09:48 |
If you were in a box, |
| 00:09:51 |
Uh, it's -- |
| 00:09:53 |
Wrong. |
| 00:09:55 |
Last question -- |
| 00:09:57 |
What is |
| 00:10:05 |
And? |
| 00:10:15 |
What the hell |
| 00:10:18 |
A d-- a wh-- duck? |
| 00:10:19 |
I don't -- |
| 00:10:22 |
As far as I know, that job |
| 00:10:24 |
has nothing to do with a |
| 00:10:30 |
Congratulations, pal. |
| 00:10:33 |
You're |
| 00:10:35 |
How does it feel? |
| 00:10:40 |
It feels good. |
| 00:10:41 |
No, no, no, no, no. |
| 00:10:43 |
How does it feel? |
| 00:10:45 |
I mean, how does it feel |
| 00:10:46 |
to put fucking 15 heads |
| 00:10:49 |
I'll tell you how it feels. |
| 00:10:50 |
It feels fucking great, |
| 00:10:51 |
Fucking great, like, unh, |
| 00:10:55 |
So, I got it? |
| 00:10:58 |
Oh, hell, no. |
| 00:10:59 |
This was just a like |
| 00:11:01 |
Oh, yeah, no, no, we have -- |
| 00:11:04 |
Yeah, we have some, uh, more -- |
| 00:11:07 |
But hell of a start, though. |
| 00:11:09 |
Last thing before you go -- |
| 00:11:13 |
I'd like you to sing |
| 00:11:24 |
# it's not a flag, |
| 00:11:27 |
# a high-flying company # |
| 00:11:29 |
# and it will cheerfully |
| 00:11:32 |
# by the time you are old, |
| 00:11:36 |
# and your cube |
| 00:11:39 |
# it's a company, |
| 00:11:43 |
# now please get back to work # |
| 00:11:48 |
We'll get back to you. |
| 00:11:56 |
I hate this town. |
| 00:12:02 |
# change has begun # |
| 00:12:04 |
# ah, ah # |
| 00:12:05 |
# spread the word today # |
| 00:12:09 |
# ah, ah, ah, ah # |
| 00:12:11 |
# follow the flower children # |
| 00:12:15 |
# let them lead the way # |
| 00:12:18 |
Brothers and sisters... |
| 00:12:21 |
I am proud |
| 00:12:29 |
Hold up your energies |
| 00:12:37 |
Good group, good group. |
| 00:12:41 |
Welcome to the Denomination |
| 00:12:45 |
I congratulate you all on taking |
| 00:12:50 |
by completing |
| 00:12:52 |
Obviously, you've come |
| 00:12:56 |
that the American dream |
| 00:13:00 |
That's right! |
| 00:13:01 |
In fact... |
| 00:13:03 |
it is a nightmare... |
| 00:13:05 |
yeah! |
| 00:13:09 |
...a nightmare that soon |
| 00:13:12 |
in the all-encompassing flames |
| 00:13:17 |
Yeah! |
| 00:13:21 |
Pious people in the house, |
| 00:13:24 |
- Oh! |
| 00:13:26 |
Who loves God? |
| 00:13:27 |
We do! |
| 00:13:31 |
David? |
| 00:13:32 |
Huh? |
| 00:13:35 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:13:37 |
I love this part. |
| 00:13:39 |
No, no, Richie, no, no, |
| 00:13:41 |
this is just -- this |
| 00:13:44 |
strictly ritualistic. |
| 00:13:45 |
Uh, Uncle Dave, uh, |
| 00:13:48 |
but we've got some rather |
| 00:13:53 |
The girls -- |
| 00:13:54 |
Oh! |
| 00:13:55 |
Mm. Okay. |
| 00:13:57 |
Children, it appears |
| 00:14:00 |
has to, uh, commingle |
| 00:14:04 |
Sweetie -- sweetie -- |
| 00:14:05 |
Let's go. |
| 00:14:08 |
There we go. |
| 00:14:09 |
But I want more communion. |
| 00:14:11 |
Oh, we'll do communion, |
| 00:14:13 |
It's my favorite meal |
| 00:14:14 |
Don't worry about it. |
| 00:14:16 |
Now go. |
| 00:14:19 |
God bless it. |
| 00:14:22 |
Ah, Richie, what the fuck is it? |
| 00:14:24 |
We're having something |
| 00:14:27 |
of a cash-flow problem. |
| 00:14:29 |
What the fuck |
| 00:14:31 |
Did you see all those recruits |
| 00:14:33 |
It's true. |
| 00:14:34 |
Membership and donations |
| 00:14:36 |
and we got more tail running |
| 00:14:39 |
than the Playboy Mansion, |
| 00:14:44 |
Yeah? So? |
| 00:14:46 |
Well... |
| 00:14:48 |
...it's the IRS. |
| 00:14:50 |
Yeah? |
| 00:14:51 |
Uh, it seems we haven't paid |
| 00:14:55 |
So what, man? |
| 00:14:57 |
I tried to explain, |
| 00:14:59 |
that with our continued expectation |
| 00:15:01 |
it's difficult |
| 00:15:03 |
to long-term programs like |
| 00:15:06 |
but, um... |
| 00:15:10 |
...apparently even |
| 00:15:13 |
is not an option. |
| 00:15:14 |
Oh, come on, Richie, you know |
| 00:15:17 |
What the fuck do we do |
| 00:15:18 |
Well... |
| 00:15:20 |
What's your plan? |
| 00:15:23 |
We pay them or, uh -- |
| 00:15:26 |
Ohh! |
| 00:15:30 |
We pay them, |
| 00:15:33 |
the weenie whacking, |
| 00:15:35 |
the tacos, everything. |
| 00:15:37 |
And you... |
| 00:15:40 |
So, how much do we owe? |
| 00:15:43 |
Mm... |
| 00:15:48 |
$1.3 million and 79 cents. |
| 00:15:53 |
Oh, fuck, Rich. |
| 00:15:56 |
Oh, d-d-don't despair, |
| 00:16:00 |
When the government |
| 00:16:04 |
G-O-D always opens |
| 00:16:08 |
Oh. |
| 00:16:10 |
That's a beautifully |
| 00:16:15 |
Now, if you don't mind, |
| 00:16:21 |
Well, if you need me, |
| 00:16:25 |
It seems |
| 00:16:28 |
Unfortunately, the supply of Krotchy |
| 00:16:31 |
And parents and |
| 00:16:33 |
lining up for weeks to |
| 00:16:34 |
We'll be back in two minutes. |
| 00:16:38 |
# I prey on the innocent # |
| 00:16:40 |
# living on the grind # |
| 00:16:41 |
# tryin' to get a dollar |
| 00:16:44 |
Hey, yo, hi. |
| 00:16:46 |
Come here. |
| 00:16:48 |
Yeah, I -- I don't have |
| 00:16:50 |
Come on. |
| 00:16:52 |
Come over here. |
| 00:16:53 |
I need a few bucks to get a bus |
| 00:16:56 |
I -- yo, I don't have -- |
| 00:16:57 |
sorry, I don't have any money. |
| 00:16:59 |
Come here. |
| 00:17:02 |
Get the fuck out of here. |
| 00:17:03 |
I'm sick and tired |
| 00:17:05 |
You got a good job. |
| 00:17:08 |
You got everything, |
| 00:17:09 |
Well, fuck you, |
| 00:17:10 |
And fuck everybody |
| 00:17:13 |
Get the fuck out of here! |
| 00:17:14 |
# brace yourself # |
| 00:17:16 |
I'll fucking knock you out, pal. |
| 00:17:18 |
# just to see how it feels # |
| 00:17:23 |
It's green. |
| 00:17:25 |
Look, you can make the light! |
| 00:17:27 |
Hey! |
| 00:17:29 |
Oh. |
| 00:17:33 |
You can make the light! |
| 00:17:34 |
Come on, bitch! |
| 00:17:36 |
God damn. |
| 00:17:38 |
She could have made |
| 00:17:39 |
She forget her glass. |
| 00:17:41 |
You say "glass"? |
| 00:17:43 |
You say "glass," you |
| 00:17:46 |
I bought all these goddamn English CDs |
| 00:17:47 |
For you |
| 00:17:49 |
It's "glasses." |
| 00:17:50 |
You fucking foreigners |
| 00:17:52 |
and you fuck up |
| 00:17:53 |
and this bitch |
| 00:17:55 |
Come down, Greg. |
| 00:17:56 |
You fucking calm down! |
| 00:17:57 |
This flat-ass bitch |
| 00:17:59 |
she takes over |
| 00:18:00 |
and they eat up |
| 00:18:02 |
Go and help her. |
| 00:18:04 |
What's the holdup?! |
| 00:18:07 |
You're right. |
| 00:18:08 |
I'm trippin'. |
| 00:18:10 |
I'll just get out of the car |
| 00:18:13 |
She's an old lady. |
| 00:18:16 |
I feel bad now. |
| 00:18:23 |
Hi. |
| 00:18:26 |
The light is green. |
| 00:18:28 |
You could have |
| 00:18:30 |
The light turned gr-- |
| 00:18:33 |
What'd you say, bitch? |
| 00:18:35 |
Aah! |
| 00:18:37 |
Why don't you stir-fry that? |
| 00:18:41 |
Holy fuck! |
| 00:18:42 |
Damn! |
| 00:18:43 |
Yeah, that'll get her moving! |
| 00:18:48 |
Man. |
| 00:18:50 |
What happened over there? |
| 00:18:51 |
Bitch called me nigger. |
| 00:19:02 |
Ooh. |
| 00:19:03 |
Whoa-ho-ho! |
| 00:19:05 |
Yeah. |
| 00:19:07 |
One date with me, |
| 00:19:09 |
she'll look like she's been hit |
| 00:19:13 |
That's right, Mr. Stickum. |
| 00:19:16 |
Yeah, I hope she comes back. |
| 00:19:19 |
You got to hold it. |
| 00:19:20 |
Thank you. |
| 00:19:22 |
Okay. |
| 00:19:23 |
All set? |
| 00:19:24 |
What do you got? |
| 00:19:30 |
No, you know what? |
| 00:19:33 |
I'll have a large mocha. |
| 00:19:35 |
Okay. |
| 00:19:36 |
No. |
| 00:19:38 |
No, you know what? |
| 00:19:41 |
Okay. |
| 00:19:42 |
W-w-what do you think |
| 00:19:45 |
Unh! |
| 00:19:46 |
You had 10 minutes |
| 00:19:49 |
What is it with you people? |
| 00:19:52 |
I mean, we sell coffee. |
| 00:19:54 |
You're not buying a car, |
| 00:19:56 |
Make a fucking decision, huh? |
| 00:19:57 |
I know. |
| 00:19:59 |
You're gonna have |
| 00:20:02 |
Careful -- the beverage you're |
| 00:20:05 |
Next? |
| 00:20:06 |
Uh... |
| 00:20:08 |
What? |
| 00:20:10 |
I, um -- |
| 00:20:12 |
Two lattes, |
| 00:20:31 |
I can't believe |
| 00:20:33 |
you've ever been here. |
| 00:20:34 |
Huh. |
| 00:20:36 |
I mean, all these fucking idiots |
| 00:20:38 |
And here I am -- |
| 00:20:40 |
Yeah. |
| 00:20:42 |
So, when was the last time |
| 00:20:46 |
The bachelor party, |
| 00:20:49 |
Oh, fuck, yeah, right. |
| 00:20:51 |
I wonder |
| 00:20:55 |
Well, what do you think |
| 00:20:57 |
Ah, it's -- it's amazing. |
| 00:21:00 |
Yeah. I kind of owe it |
| 00:21:03 |
Me? |
| 00:21:04 |
Well, we always talked |
| 00:21:07 |
about running a con like this, right? |
| 00:21:08 |
You know, |
| 00:21:11 |
how they'll believe anything |
| 00:21:12 |
if you just tell it to them |
| 00:21:14 |
Anyway, I just took all that |
| 00:21:17 |
pushed it to the next level, |
| 00:21:20 |
here I fucking am. |
| 00:21:23 |
Man. |
| 00:21:25 |
I just can't believe it, |
| 00:21:29 |
Yeah. |
| 00:21:33 |
You know, it's funny you showing |
| 00:21:36 |
'cause I find myself in a -- |
| 00:21:39 |
And I have a plan |
| 00:21:42 |
But I could use a partner. |
| 00:21:43 |
Uh, no. |
| 00:21:45 |
I know where this is going, |
| 00:21:47 |
I -- I don't do |
| 00:21:50 |
Come on, |
| 00:21:52 |
Remember when we stole the flag |
| 00:21:55 |
Twice. |
| 00:21:57 |
Yeah. |
| 00:21:58 |
And this plan |
| 00:22:00 |
I got arrested |
| 00:22:02 |
Well, that plan |
| 00:22:04 |
Yeah, they prosecuted me |
| 00:22:06 |
under the new flag protection amendment, |
| 00:22:09 |
and with that on my record, |
| 00:22:10 |
I couldn't get into a good |
| 00:22:14 |
I pretty much just play |
| 00:22:16 |
Look, man, nobody plays |
| 00:22:19 |
You bend them, |
| 00:22:21 |
Anything else |
| 00:22:24 |
Yeah, |
| 00:22:25 |
Yeah. |
| 00:22:26 |
All right, |
| 00:22:27 |
I never push you |
| 00:22:29 |
I always let you go your own way. |
| 00:22:31 |
Besides, it's working out great |
| 00:22:33 |
I mean, you got the beautiful |
| 00:22:36 |
If you change your mind, though, |
| 00:22:40 |
Here, |
| 00:22:43 |
Thanks. |
| 00:22:46 |
Now, you're gonna get a |
| 00:22:49 |
Fuck you, man. |
| 00:22:50 |
You give me that check, |
| 00:22:51 |
I'll give you $250 worth |
| 00:22:53 |
You understand what I'm saying? |
| 00:22:55 |
This is a good deal, pal. |
| 00:22:58 |
Shit. |
| 00:22:59 |
That's $82. |
| 00:23:00 |
$82. You're good at math. |
| 00:23:02 |
Hey, that's you. |
| 00:23:03 |
Here, use my pen. |
| 00:23:04 |
Use my pen |
| 00:23:06 |
23-6. |
| 00:23:09 |
Hey, have you heard |
| 00:23:11 |
has closed their borders they're |
| 00:23:13 |
I don't understand you. |
| 00:23:14 |
All that scrap copper's |
| 00:23:17 |
I don't want copper! |
| 00:23:19 |
Wrong form. |
| 00:23:20 |
What?! |
| 00:23:21 |
Wrong form! |
| 00:23:23 |
Look, I don't care |
| 00:23:25 |
I'm not leaving here |
| 00:23:27 |
Buddy, come on. |
| 00:23:29 |
Come on. |
| 00:23:30 |
Where's the pen? |
| 00:23:31 |
Hey, come here. |
| 00:23:34 |
Hey! Hey! |
| 00:23:36 |
Down! Down! |
| 00:23:50 |
Fuck me! |
| 00:23:55 |
Help me! |
| 00:23:58 |
Ugh! |
| 00:24:01 |
Aah! |
| 00:24:02 |
Oh, my god! |
| 00:24:03 |
Just get down! |
| 00:24:06 |
That does it! |
| 00:24:09 |
Don't do it! |
| 00:24:12 |
Don't do it! |
| 00:24:14 |
Don't do it! |
| 00:24:18 |
I need backup! |
| 00:24:29 |
Sweet. |
| 00:24:34 |
Aah! |
| 00:24:37 |
More fucking backup! |
| 00:24:40 |
Number 25! |
| 00:24:43 |
Right here. |
| 00:24:44 |
Here. |
| 00:24:47 |
Sorry, we're closed. |
| 00:24:48 |
My baby! |
| 00:24:52 |
Ha! Unh! |
| 00:24:55 |
Unh! |
| 00:24:56 |
Unh! Oof! |
| 00:25:01 |
Oh, yeah! |
| 00:25:04 |
Oh! |
| 00:25:08 |
Oh, yes! |
| 00:25:11 |
Come on! |
| 00:25:13 |
Give it to me, daddy. |
| 00:25:15 |
Give it to your bad girl. |
| 00:25:22 |
Oh, yes! |
| 00:25:24 |
Oh! |
| 00:25:26 |
Oh, yes! |
| 00:25:34 |
I'll be back in a second, |
| 00:25:47 |
Hi, neighbor. |
| 00:25:48 |
Guess I won't be needing |
| 00:25:53 |
Okay. |
| 00:25:55 |
# love # |
| 00:25:57 |
# I'm sucker for love # |
| 00:25:58 |
# your love is a love |
| 00:26:03 |
# I'm a sucker for love, |
| 00:26:05 |
Got to find the wet spot. |
| 00:26:17 |
Leave the welfare check |
| 00:26:19 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:26:21 |
There. Oh, yeah. |
| 00:26:23 |
Oh! |
| 00:26:28 |
Give it to me, you stud. |
| 00:26:30 |
Yes. |
| 00:26:31 |
Oh! |
| 00:26:33 |
Yes! |
| 00:26:37 |
Get me a large bottle |
| 00:26:40 |
The extra-virgin kind! |
| 00:26:43 |
Oh, yes! |
| 00:26:48 |
Oh, yes! |
| 00:26:50 |
Oh! |
| 00:26:51 |
Please, Uncle Dave, please, |
| 00:26:55 |
just -- just enough to get me |
| 00:26:58 |
for the rest |
| 00:27:00 |
Hey, sport. |
| 00:27:02 |
Last chance. |
| 00:27:03 |
Help me out with a few bucks. |
| 00:27:05 |
I don't have anything. |
| 00:27:08 |
Who the fuck do you think |
| 00:27:11 |
What, do you think I'm stupid |
| 00:27:14 |
Listen, you're not gonna help me |
| 00:27:18 |
Open up the wallet. |
| 00:27:19 |
Dude, who you talking to? |
| 00:27:23 |
No. |
| 00:27:24 |
Let go of my gun. |
| 00:27:26 |
Bro, you still there? |
| 00:27:29 |
Hey, bro? |
| 00:27:31 |
Hey, while I got you, |
| 00:27:33 |
What do you think of those -- |
| 00:27:36 |
What's the matter with you? Let go. |
| 00:27:39 |
You know, I thought you could |
| 00:27:41 |
To get tickets, right? |
| 00:27:43 |
But, you know, I tried, and |
| 00:27:46 |
Last chance. |
| 00:27:48 |
Give me the gun! |
| 00:27:52 |
Aw, shit, sport. |
| 00:28:01 |
It's like at every holiday |
| 00:28:02 |
Like, anytime you want to use the |
| 00:28:05 |
That's bullshit, isn't it? |
| 00:28:07 |
Dave? |
| 00:28:09 |
I'm in. |
| 00:28:10 |
You are? |
| 00:28:11 |
Oh, fuck, |
| 00:28:16 |
But you know what? |
| 00:28:18 |
You caught me at kind of |
| 00:28:22 |
We, the people under Allah, |
| 00:28:24 |
give you a new beacon |
| 00:28:26 |
against the great Satan |
| 00:28:29 |
They believe we are weakened, |
| 00:28:31 |
but in only a few days, |
| 00:28:32 |
we will strike a blow against |
| 00:28:36 |
that the evil ones will collapse |
| 00:28:40 |
We are asking those |
| 00:28:42 |
to wait, pray, |
| 00:28:44 |
and praise Allah when |
| 00:28:49 |
And cut! |
| 00:28:52 |
Wonderful scene, Sammy. |
| 00:28:55 |
You truly outdid yourself |
| 00:28:57 |
You -- you hold the screen. |
| 00:28:59 |
You -- you are forceful, |
| 00:29:01 |
I almost cried |
| 00:29:03 |
You have |
| 00:29:04 |
You can't put it into words. |
| 00:29:06 |
Your voice... |
| 00:29:07 |
Your eyes -- |
| 00:29:09 |
What? |
| 00:29:10 |
Don't you know |
| 00:29:12 |
Are you trying to kill me? |
| 00:29:16 |
Who writes this shit? |
| 00:29:20 |
They're not listening anymore, |
| 00:29:22 |
I tell them |
| 00:29:24 |
And what do I get? |
| 00:29:27 |
Virgins. |
| 00:29:28 |
Ding ding ding |
| 00:29:30 |
Nobody wants to die anymore |
| 00:29:33 |
But no one has to die |
| 00:29:36 |
That is genius |
| 00:29:39 |
Ooh, the shipment! |
| 00:29:41 |
Ooh, big whoop! |
| 00:29:43 |
What is it this time -- |
| 00:29:47 |
Sammy, sammy... |
| 00:29:49 |
Why do you have |
| 00:29:51 |
Remember the thing with |
| 00:29:53 |
Do you remember that, hmm? |
| 00:29:55 |
Do you remember that? |
| 00:29:57 |
Child's play! |
| 00:29:59 |
Tomorrow is |
| 00:30:02 |
you, me... |
| 00:30:03 |
and the shipment |
| 00:30:08 |
I'm gonna go watch "Oprah." |
| 00:30:11 |
She's looking good |
| 00:30:13 |
The diet is working. |
| 00:30:15 |
I will do anything it takes to |
| 00:30:18 |
anything, anything! |
| 00:30:20 |
Okay. |
| 00:30:22 |
Take me up the ass. |
| 00:30:27 |
Just kidding. |
| 00:30:30 |
No, no, here, here. |
| 00:30:32 |
You know these things? |
| 00:30:35 |
Krotchy dolls? |
| 00:30:37 |
Yeah. |
| 00:30:39 |
Biggest show on TV, number one. |
| 00:30:42 |
Oh, and the guy |
| 00:30:44 |
he's some big |
| 00:30:45 |
It doesn't matter. |
| 00:30:47 |
All that matters |
| 00:30:48 |
is everybody wants one |
| 00:30:51 |
But, sadly... |
| 00:30:53 |
the Chinese tanker |
| 00:30:57 |
They were able to save |
| 00:31:01 |
Unfortunately, none of the crew |
| 00:31:03 |
So, what, |
| 00:31:07 |
Check this out, man. |
| 00:31:08 |
One of these dolls |
| 00:31:11 |
for $4,000. |
| 00:31:15 |
Fuck me. |
| 00:31:16 |
Yeah. |
| 00:31:20 |
And... |
| 00:31:21 |
And 2,000 times $4,000 |
| 00:31:26 |
is 8, uh... |
| 00:31:27 |
that's like -- |
| 00:31:29 |
no, it's 8-- |
| 00:31:31 |
well, if it's three zeros h-- |
| 00:31:33 |
you move the decimal back. |
| 00:31:35 |
I don't think -- no, well, wait. |
| 00:31:37 |
It's a fucking lot of money! |
| 00:31:38 |
Oh, it's an ass-load |
| 00:31:39 |
Dude, a couple of asses. |
| 00:31:41 |
Yeah. |
| 00:31:43 |
Okay. |
| 00:31:45 |
Okay. |
| 00:31:47 |
So, what do you want out of me? |
| 00:31:51 |
Come up with the plan. |
| 00:31:54 |
'Cause if you remember |
| 00:31:57 |
that was my plan. |
| 00:31:58 |
That sucked. |
| 00:32:00 |
It had |
| 00:32:02 |
Yeah. Yeah. |
| 00:32:04 |
Okay. |
| 00:32:05 |
Okay. Okay. |
| 00:32:08 |
What we got to do |
| 00:32:10 |
we got to go to little Germany... |
| 00:32:13 |
...And we got to break in there, |
| 00:32:15 |
and we got to, uh, |
| 00:32:17 |
and we got to -- we got |
| 00:32:19 |
So, we're gonna need |
| 00:32:21 |
truck. |
| 00:32:22 |
Truck. |
| 00:32:24 |
Uh, one they can't trace back to us. |
| 00:32:30 |
Aha. |
| 00:32:34 |
Huh? |
| 00:32:35 |
Yeah. |
| 00:32:36 |
You got an idea? |
| 00:32:37 |
I got -- |
| 00:32:40 |
No, it's gone. |
| 00:32:41 |
Oh. |
| 00:32:42 |
George W. Bush is a sham. |
| 00:32:46 |
He's an actor. |
| 00:32:47 |
That's not even his real name. |
| 00:32:49 |
He knows too much. |
| 00:32:53 |
Mohammed, he's crazy. |
| 00:32:56 |
He suspects nothing. |
| 00:32:58 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:32:59 |
You are a good man, Habib, |
| 00:33:01 |
but we are at a critical point |
| 00:33:05 |
and we must take no chances. |
| 00:33:06 |
No. |
| 00:33:11 |
Ohh! |
| 00:33:29 |
Goodbye, heaven tarts... |
| 00:33:31 |
sugar logs... |
| 00:33:33 |
powdered flakes... |
| 00:33:34 |
and sweetie o's. |
| 00:33:48 |
Goodbye, low-calorie |
| 00:33:58 |
Allah! |
| 00:34:17 |
Huh. |
| 00:34:22 |
How much is this? |
| 00:35:39 |
Harry! |
| 00:35:43 |
You got my money, Harry. |
| 00:35:52 |
What you got |
| 00:35:59 |
No, no, no, |
| 00:36:02 |
Harry, come on. |
| 00:36:04 |
You've been out here |
| 00:36:06 |
donating. |
| 00:36:09 |
H-help the retards. |
| 00:36:11 |
Doing $13, |
| 00:36:14 |
Let's go. |
| 00:36:17 |
What? |
| 00:36:18 |
Oh, okay, I thought |
| 00:36:23 |
$5s and $10s only. |
| 00:36:26 |
No bath this month, |
| 00:36:36 |
I put some extra nutrients |
| 00:36:39 |
You're gonna like it. |
| 00:36:40 |
Let me see. |
| 00:36:43 |
Mmm! |
| 00:36:45 |
Good, isn't it? |
| 00:36:46 |
All righty, baby. |
| 00:36:48 |
Well, uh, good night. |
| 00:36:50 |
Big day tomorrow, okay? |
| 00:36:51 |
All right. |
| 00:36:54 |
What? |
| 00:36:55 |
Oh, I'm trippin'. |
| 00:36:58 |
Sorry, buddy. |
| 00:37:00 |
It does get cold in my garage |
| 00:37:02 |
All right. |
| 00:37:04 |
Night, Harry. |
| 00:37:10 |
Welcome to Little Germany |
| 00:37:13 |
Entertainment center |
| 00:37:16 |
Now, tomorrow the major |
| 00:37:20 |
...here at stage, |
| 00:37:23 |
celebrating the unveiling |
| 00:37:26 |
The huge international star |
| 00:37:31 |
will be there. |
| 00:37:32 |
And that is when we'll strike! |
| 00:37:35 |
Oh! |
| 00:37:37 |
Oh. |
| 00:37:39 |
Dave and I |
| 00:37:42 |
accessing |
| 00:37:45 |
You are a blessing upon us, |
| 00:37:48 |
It is as it was foretold |
| 00:37:51 |
"And then there will come |
| 00:37:55 |
"an apos-tle |
| 00:37:57 |
the holy torch |
| 00:37:59 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:38:01 |
"He will lead us out |
| 00:38:03 |
Mm-hmm. |
| 00:38:05 |
You wrote a fucking bible |
| 00:38:08 |
Group "C" rappels down |
| 00:38:10 |
and takes the dolls |
| 00:38:13 |
Group "E" |
| 00:38:17 |
as our intelligence indicates |
| 00:38:19 |
that another organization |
| 00:38:29 |
I'll get that. |
| 00:38:34 |
Bin Laden. |
| 00:38:37 |
Osama, you old fucker. |
| 00:38:40 |
It's G.W. |
| 00:38:41 |
You know how many innocent |
| 00:38:43 |
Trying to get a lead on you? |
| 00:38:45 |
So? |
| 00:38:46 |
What is it, Georgie? |
| 00:38:47 |
I, uh -- kind of busy here. |
| 00:38:49 |
You know how pops has those |
| 00:38:54 |
I'm wondering if we ought |
| 00:38:57 |
You know, |
| 00:39:00 |
All right, well, |
| 00:39:02 |
tell me what pipe |
| 00:39:04 |
and I'll blow it |
| 00:39:05 |
We'd really appreciate it. |
| 00:39:07 |
I'll ask Laura |
| 00:39:09 |
you know, |
| 00:39:13 |
All right, later. |
| 00:39:18 |
Jihad! |
| 00:39:31 |
First they promise me |
| 00:39:33 |
Then they send me |
| 00:39:36 |
Geez! |
| 00:39:37 |
Don't they know |
| 00:39:40 |
Ugh! |
| 00:39:41 |
Jesus! |
| 00:39:46 |
Aw, Jesus. |
| 00:39:54 |
Paradise 8 miles? |
| 00:39:57 |
God! |
| 00:40:00 |
Motherfuckers. |
| 00:40:17 |
I'm telling you, Mohammed. |
| 00:40:19 |
I know I've seen that gas |
| 00:40:22 |
We are not lost. |
| 00:40:24 |
What's wrong with you? |
| 00:40:25 |
Will you just pull over |
| 00:40:27 |
Get off my back! |
| 00:40:29 |
You know, |
| 00:40:31 |
I should be driving. |
| 00:40:32 |
What, do you think |
| 00:40:34 |
be the face of the organization |
| 00:40:36 |
What is wrong with you, man? |
| 00:40:49 |
Mommy, Krotchy! |
| 00:40:53 |
Aww! |
| 00:40:59 |
Hey! |
| 00:41:01 |
I'm here at the theme park |
| 00:41:04 |
with owner and controversial |
| 00:41:09 |
Uwe, you made your fortune |
| 00:41:11 |
turning video games |
| 00:41:14 |
but this theme park |
| 00:41:16 |
and today is a big day |
| 00:41:19 |
Absolutely. |
| 00:41:20 |
that that freighter |
| 00:41:22 |
with all the Krotchy dolls, |
| 00:41:24 |
So we, as the only people |
| 00:41:27 |
having the Krotchy dolls |
| 00:41:37 |
Yay! |
| 00:41:39 |
All right, |
| 00:41:44 |
Ooh, Harry, |
| 00:41:47 |
Get your hat on. |
| 00:41:50 |
Yeah! |
| 00:41:52 |
Watch this. Watch this. |
| 00:41:53 |
Say "will work for food" |
| 00:41:56 |
You the shit. |
| 00:41:58 |
All right, go on, now. |
| 00:41:59 |
All right, no $1s. |
| 00:42:02 |
That's my motherfucker |
| 00:42:04 |
Watch out for the flowers, |
| 00:42:07 |
But I want to use the situation |
| 00:42:10 |
and I want to explain a little |
| 00:42:13 |
and also from Little Germany, |
| 00:42:16 |
because, you know, |
| 00:42:18 |
that my movies |
| 00:42:20 |
And what should I say? |
| 00:42:22 |
But somebody must do something |
| 00:42:25 |
Ja! |
| 00:42:26 |
I get a little horny here |
| 00:42:29 |
if I see a crowd |
| 00:42:31 |
Are you fucking kidding me? |
| 00:42:44 |
Master, allow me. |
| 00:42:57 |
What about me? |
| 00:42:59 |
Do your job. |
| 00:43:02 |
Stupid. |
| 00:43:03 |
Oh, what, |
| 00:43:06 |
For saying "fuck"? |
| 00:43:08 |
Well, fucky-fuck-fuck you, Dan. |
| 00:43:10 |
I'm the fucking show. |
| 00:43:13 |
Thank you. |
| 00:43:16 |
Five, four -- |
| 00:43:19 |
Thank you. |
| 00:43:21 |
Hi, we're live in Little Germany |
| 00:43:23 |
It's an amazing sight. |
| 00:43:25 |
The crowd |
| 00:43:27 |
People have been lining up |
| 00:43:29 |
to get their hands |
| 00:43:40 |
Ladies... |
| 00:43:41 |
Today we do God's work, |
| 00:43:43 |
so get in there |
| 00:43:46 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:43:51 |
Hi, boys. |
| 00:43:54 |
Uh-oh. |
| 00:43:59 |
Oops. |
| 00:44:04 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:44:07 |
They're so creepy. |
| 00:44:09 |
Yeah, so? |
| 00:44:10 |
Come on, boys! |
| 00:44:12 |
Can you guys |
| 00:44:14 |
Okay. |
| 00:44:17 |
Come on, boys. |
| 00:44:19 |
Whoo! |
| 00:44:20 |
Come here. |
| 00:44:26 |
Huh. |
| 00:44:28 |
Ha ha! |
| 00:44:31 |
Whoa-ho! |
| 00:44:33 |
Oh, yes! |
| 00:44:34 |
Oh, you sexy little |
| 00:44:37 |
Unh! Unh! |
| 00:44:39 |
Gayle, is that Verne's limo? |
| 00:44:41 |
Uh, I can't see, Bob. |
| 00:44:44 |
There seems to be a pickup truck |
| 00:44:48 |
A pickup truck? |
| 00:44:51 |
Well, that's classy. |
| 00:44:55 |
Yo, man. |
| 00:45:03 |
I just can't possibly explain |
| 00:45:07 |
we are, Mr. Troyer. |
| 00:45:08 |
I personally will take |
| 00:45:10 |
for this confusion |
| 00:45:12 |
I don't want you fired. |
| 00:45:13 |
I want |
| 00:45:15 |
So, what did you do |
| 00:45:17 |
They're all worn out. |
| 00:45:18 |
Mm. |
| 00:45:20 |
All right. |
| 00:45:21 |
Get to work |
| 00:45:24 |
This is great. |
| 00:45:25 |
That means that... |
| 00:45:27 |
The whole park is busy |
| 00:45:30 |
Mm-hmm. |
| 00:45:31 |
That means |
| 00:45:33 |
Yeah. |
| 00:45:35 |
Come on, cowboy up. |
| 00:45:57 |
It's locked. |
| 00:46:03 |
There must be |
| 00:46:15 |
Where's my money, asswipe? |
| 00:46:17 |
I have even better -- |
| 00:46:19 |
gold teeth. |
| 00:46:23 |
Hello, Paradise. |
| 00:46:28 |
Help me, Krotchy. |
| 00:46:30 |
I'm a beautiful lady. |
| 00:46:31 |
Well, you know |
| 00:46:33 |
says about people in need. |
| 00:46:34 |
Only my father and |
| 00:46:39 |
Uncle Dave, look out! |
| 00:46:40 |
What the fuck? |
| 00:46:43 |
Get to the truck. |
| 00:46:44 |
Come on! |
| 00:46:46 |
Anne Frank, you better have |
| 00:46:48 |
We're coming your way! |
| 00:46:51 |
This is Anne Frank. |
| 00:46:53 |
You come down here, |
| 00:46:56 |
You are the envy |
| 00:46:59 |
Anne Frank, |
| 00:47:01 |
We need a distraction now! |
| 00:47:06 |
You are the first city |
| 00:47:08 |
to receive |
| 00:47:11 |
Krotchy doll. |
| 00:47:16 |
Oh, powerful lord, |
| 00:47:21 |
Boll, I'm Vince Desi. |
| 00:47:22 |
What the fuck did you do |
| 00:47:24 |
I don't know |
| 00:47:26 |
The movie is great. |
| 00:47:30 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:47:32 |
Oh! |
| 00:47:38 |
Officers, you realize |
| 00:47:39 |
there's a huge fight going on |
| 00:47:42 |
Yeah. |
| 00:47:45 |
Unh! |
| 00:47:47 |
Anne Frank, |
| 00:47:51 |
Party's over. |
| 00:47:52 |
Freaking Nazi |
| 00:47:55 |
Get your hands |
| 00:47:56 |
For video games! |
| 00:47:59 |
No! |
| 00:48:05 |
Son of a bitch! |
| 00:48:06 |
Aah! |
| 00:48:12 |
Be careful. |
| 00:48:19 |
Harry! I'm gonna come |
| 00:48:26 |
Aah! |
| 00:48:31 |
Whoa! |
| 00:48:43 |
Ooh! |
| 00:48:47 |
I hate video games. |
| 00:48:51 |
Aah! |
| 00:48:53 |
Aah! |
| 00:48:55 |
Let's get the hell |
| 00:49:08 |
Aah! |
| 00:49:24 |
Get out of the way! |
| 00:49:27 |
Ohh! |
| 00:49:29 |
Oh! My shit! |
| 00:49:30 |
I'm so sorry! |
| 00:49:31 |
What are you doing with my shit? |
| 00:49:33 |
Let me give you a hand with that. |
| 00:49:35 |
I had no idea you be c-- |
| 00:49:37 |
A dildo on a stick? That's crazy! |
| 00:49:41 |
Let me see if I can help |
| 00:49:43 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:49:45 |
Jesus! |
| 00:49:48 |
What the fuck?! |
| 00:49:49 |
God damn! |
| 00:49:51 |
What -- |
| 00:49:53 |
God -- |
| 00:49:59 |
Richard, what the fuck? |
| 00:50:01 |
It's a present. |
| 00:50:03 |
Hey! Assholes! |
| 00:50:10 |
Uh... |
| 00:50:12 |
Coffee shop. |
| 00:50:14 |
Lattes, no foam. |
| 00:50:16 |
Yeah. |
| 00:50:18 |
Uh, I got to go. |
| 00:50:29 |
Why did you bring him? |
| 00:50:30 |
Mind your own business |
| 00:50:32 |
Shut up, you big crybaby. |
| 00:50:35 |
Wait, wait, wait, wait! |
| 00:50:37 |
Hey! |
| 00:50:38 |
Move, move, move, move, move. |
| 00:50:44 |
Let's go, baby. |
| 00:50:48 |
Where is...the damn key? |
| 00:50:50 |
You don't have the keys? |
| 00:50:52 |
I thought you had the keys. |
| 00:51:02 |
It's like |
| 00:51:03 |
Sometimes it helps to retrace your steps. |
| 00:51:06 |
Mohammed. |
| 00:51:07 |
You're under arrest! |
| 00:51:10 |
You killed Harry! |
| 00:51:12 |
Start shooting, John. |
| 00:51:16 |
Harry wasn't hurting nobody. |
| 00:51:19 |
What the fuck am I gonna do |
| 00:51:20 |
with all those damn diapers |
| 00:51:23 |
Good God! |
| 00:51:24 |
You're stepping |
| 00:51:27 |
Allah be praised. |
| 00:51:29 |
Now you will give your lives |
| 00:51:33 |
Or we could just kill |
| 00:51:36 |
Yeah! |
| 00:51:53 |
Jesus Christ, |
| 00:51:55 |
Yes! |
| 00:51:58 |
Watch where you're going! |
| 00:52:01 |
Oh, god. |
| 00:52:08 |
It's the moo cow |
| 00:52:11 |
"sorry, we're closed." |
| 00:52:13 |
Bitch! |
| 00:52:17 |
What was that? |
| 00:52:22 |
Oh. |
| 00:52:24 |
I thought we had a flat, |
| 00:52:28 |
Whew! Thank god. |
| 00:52:31 |
Got a body on maple. |
| 00:52:33 |
Tag 22, |
| 00:52:36 |
Maple, like the syrup. |
| 00:52:38 |
Oh, this is |
| 00:52:41 |
Oh, my God, |
| 00:52:44 |
Okay. |
| 00:52:47 |
Gary -- wait. |
| 00:52:49 |
Just wait. |
| 00:52:50 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:52:52 |
Okay. |
| 00:52:53 |
Roll it, Gary. |
| 00:52:55 |
Make me a star. |
| 00:52:57 |
Oh, my god. |
| 00:52:58 |
This is Gayle Ravenson |
| 00:53:01 |
reporting live |
| 00:53:03 |
on what will forevermore |
| 00:53:05 |
be known as the place |
| 00:53:08 |
Celebrity icon Verne Troyer |
| 00:53:10 |
is currently missing |
| 00:53:13 |
The coward responsible |
| 00:53:16 |
has been described as |
| 00:53:20 |
and wearing |
| 00:53:22 |
Back to you, Bob. |
| 00:53:24 |
Oh, that's right. |
| 00:53:26 |
You're dead. |
| 00:53:28 |
These kids |
| 00:53:32 |
I can't believe |
| 00:53:35 |
Fucking bullshit. |
| 00:53:37 |
God damn it. |
| 00:53:40 |
This helps. |
| 00:53:41 |
Definitely helps. |
| 00:53:52 |
We need to get him |
| 00:53:54 |
along with the merchandise! |
| 00:53:56 |
Jesus titty-fuck, |
| 00:53:58 |
Now what do we do? |
| 00:53:59 |
That was the safest place |
| 00:54:01 |
You guys don't have |
| 00:54:02 |
or a basement or something, |
| 00:54:04 |
that the Taliban couldn't |
| 00:54:06 |
No, we don't. |
| 00:54:07 |
We do. |
| 00:54:08 |
We do. |
| 00:54:09 |
There's |
| 00:54:11 |
beneath the main compound. |
| 00:54:13 |
It's perfect. |
| 00:54:14 |
You know |
| 00:54:16 |
My foot up your ass. |
| 00:54:19 |
Who the fuck |
| 00:54:21 |
What the fuck |
| 00:54:23 |
You'll see, Uncle Dave. |
| 00:54:25 |
Do you think we can sneak him |
| 00:54:27 |
without them finding out? |
| 00:54:28 |
And where the fuck are |
| 00:54:30 |
In plain sight. |
| 00:54:32 |
Somebody grab |
| 00:54:33 |
Come on, little guy. |
| 00:54:35 |
What the fuck's going on? |
| 00:54:37 |
Come on. |
| 00:54:38 |
Okay. |
| 00:54:39 |
Come on. |
| 00:54:40 |
Citizens of this great nation -- |
| 00:54:44 |
town... |
| 00:54:45 |
be on the lookout for this |
| 00:54:51 |
also known as... |
| 00:54:53 |
Postal Dude. |
| 00:54:54 |
...Postal Dude. |
| 00:54:56 |
That's the best |
| 00:54:58 |
He's wanted in conjunction |
| 00:55:00 |
the shooting |
| 00:55:02 |
the assassination |
| 00:55:04 |
and killing a Chinese woman. |
| 00:55:06 |
He killed |
| 00:55:09 |
So, if you see him... |
| 00:55:10 |
You ever just have |
| 00:55:12 |
Mm, no. |
| 00:55:14 |
Hey! Hey! |
| 00:55:15 |
The Postal Dude! |
| 00:55:17 |
Get him! |
| 00:55:18 |
Hey, come on! |
| 00:55:20 |
Uh, I don't think that's him. |
| 00:55:23 |
See how his hair flows, |
| 00:55:26 |
This guy |
| 00:55:32 |
Shit. Shit. |
| 00:55:34 |
Shit, shit, shit. |
| 00:55:35 |
Let's go! |
| 00:55:38 |
Thank you! |
| 00:55:41 |
Get him! |
| 00:55:42 |
Hey, which way did he go? |
| 00:55:44 |
This way! |
| 00:55:47 |
Why did you help him? |
| 00:55:49 |
Want to clean |
| 00:55:51 |
Yeah, fuck. |
| 00:56:08 |
Hold it! |
| 00:56:09 |
Up against the wall now! |
| 00:56:11 |
Ow! |
| 00:56:12 |
Huh? |
| 00:56:14 |
Look like I bagged me |
| 00:56:17 |
Ugh! |
| 00:56:19 |
God damn! |
| 00:56:21 |
You son of a bitch! |
| 00:56:23 |
I think |
| 00:56:26 |
Ohh, fuck! |
| 00:56:28 |
You fucking asshole! |
| 00:56:30 |
I'm gonna fuck you up! |
| 00:56:32 |
Ugh! |
| 00:56:33 |
Sorry. |
| 00:56:40 |
I think he went |
| 00:56:49 |
No wonder cops are crabby. |
| 00:56:52 |
Handcuffs -- those are cool. |
| 00:56:55 |
What is that? |
| 00:56:57 |
Pepper spray. |
| 00:56:59 |
Pepper spray is neat. |
| 00:57:00 |
Officer! |
| 00:57:02 |
Paul Lipscombe, neighborhood |
| 00:57:06 |
Good job, citizen. |
| 00:57:08 |
Did you see the Postal Dude? |
| 00:57:09 |
Yes, uh, yes. |
| 00:57:11 |
He went down |
| 00:57:13 |
Right. |
| 00:57:14 |
Citizens united, |
| 00:57:16 |
Get him! |
| 00:57:24 |
Hey, hey. |
| 00:57:25 |
Nice outfit. |
| 00:57:27 |
Like you couldn't be |
| 00:57:30 |
You look like a penguin. |
| 00:57:31 |
So, I dropped the junk off. |
| 00:57:33 |
Yeah. |
| 00:57:34 |
Now, where is |
| 00:57:38 |
Shh. |
| 00:57:40 |
Yeah, the -- okay. |
| 00:57:41 |
Zzzhhh! |
| 00:57:42 |
All right, all right, |
| 00:57:44 |
All right. |
| 00:57:45 |
All right, I'm going in. |
| 00:57:52 |
Have you heard |
| 00:57:53 |
No. |
| 00:57:54 |
Heard from the truck? |
| 00:57:56 |
No. |
| 00:57:57 |
Have you seen the dog? |
| 00:57:59 |
Do you know anything? |
| 00:58:00 |
You are stupid! |
| 00:58:01 |
Mohammed, I'm sorry. |
| 00:58:02 |
Stupid... |
| 00:58:18 |
...Why the World Trade |
| 00:58:21 |
after the break. |
| 00:58:22 |
Discouraged |
| 00:58:29 |
...prevents the continent |
| 00:58:32 |
with the rest of the planet. |
| 00:58:34 |
According to leading experts, |
| 00:58:36 |
video games are the number-one |
| 00:58:45 |
Psst! |
| 00:58:47 |
Here, you stupid cat. |
| 00:59:04 |
Meow! |
| 00:59:05 |
Hmm? |
| 00:59:06 |
Aah! |
| 00:59:10 |
Good kitty. |
| 00:59:15 |
Psst, psst. |
| 00:59:18 |
Gah. |
| 00:59:21 |
Stay low. |
| 00:59:23 |
I already am. |
| 00:59:25 |
Go. |
| 00:59:33 |
Let's go. Come on. |
| 00:59:37 |
Get him. |
| 00:59:39 |
Shh, shh, shh, |
| 00:59:42 |
Line up, my sexies. |
| 00:59:44 |
That includes you, too, |
| 00:59:48 |
Jenny, would you mind |
| 00:59:52 |
My pleasure. |
| 00:59:55 |
Jenny, you, too, huh? |
| 00:59:57 |
Am I the only fucking person |
| 00:59:59 |
who didn't know there was a bomb |
| 01:00:02 |
It's not a bomb shelter, |
| 01:00:08 |
I can't believe |
| 01:00:11 |
It's a god shelter. |
| 01:00:17 |
Richie, |
| 01:00:19 |
This is amazing. |
| 01:00:21 |
This is a shithole. |
| 01:00:23 |
What is |
| 01:00:25 |
Dave's bible, |
| 01:00:28 |
"and in the end, |
| 01:00:31 |
"will come |
| 01:00:33 |
"and the sores and the boils, |
| 01:00:35 |
"and the intestinal ulcers |
| 01:00:38 |
shall befall |
| 01:00:42 |
except for those who hide |
| 01:00:47 |
Hey, this is pretty sweet. |
| 01:00:49 |
You ever, uh, fire -- |
| 01:00:50 |
Don't touch anything! |
| 01:00:52 |
Aah! |
| 01:00:54 |
We will need every bullet |
| 01:00:58 |
That's great, Richie. |
| 01:01:00 |
But right now we've got |
| 01:01:03 |
My house is full of a bunch |
| 01:01:06 |
who think they're gonna be the |
| 01:01:09 |
As opposed to -- |
| 01:01:10 |
Why don't you |
| 01:01:12 |
You don't think I'll come over there? |
| 01:01:14 |
I'll stick this finger |
| 01:01:16 |
Yeah, you |
| 01:01:17 |
I'll get you. |
| 01:01:19 |
Take this. |
| 01:01:20 |
God damn. |
| 01:01:21 |
Richie, the point is... |
| 01:01:23 |
We don't need to be worried |
| 01:01:26 |
We just need |
| 01:01:27 |
go upstairs, |
| 01:01:29 |
get my merchandise back, |
| 01:01:31 |
sell it so we can pay off |
| 01:01:34 |
Not gonna sell the merchandise, |
| 01:01:38 |
What?! |
| 01:01:39 |
I am sorry to inform you, |
| 01:01:41 |
but that was never part |
| 01:01:50 |
So, what is the plan? |
| 01:01:53 |
To end the world, |
| 01:01:57 |
You guys have issues, man. |
| 01:01:59 |
Did you know about this? |
| 01:02:01 |
No, I didn't fucking know about this. |
| 01:02:03 |
Apparently not. |
| 01:02:04 |
Dah! |
| 01:02:07 |
Richie... |
| 01:02:09 |
Richie... |
| 01:02:13 |
Now it is time |
| 01:02:15 |
to know the full extent |
| 01:02:18 |
This is why we need |
| 01:02:22 |
What happens up my ass |
| 01:02:28 |
The Avian Bird Flu -- |
| 01:02:31 |
the plague for which |
| 01:02:36 |
If these dolls |
| 01:02:37 |
are to be distributed |
| 01:02:41 |
there will be |
| 01:02:43 |
beyond all comprehension! |
| 01:02:45 |
Yeah! |
| 01:02:48 |
That is |
| 01:02:51 |
So, to make a long story short, |
| 01:02:54 |
the Taliban wanted |
| 01:02:57 |
and ma-na na-na na-na na-na na, |
| 01:02:59 |
Whatever. |
| 01:03:01 |
We're good. |
| 01:03:03 |
Exactly! |
| 01:03:04 |
We stopped them... |
| 01:03:05 |
so that we could do it |
| 01:03:07 |
What? |
| 01:03:09 |
See, they only wanted to spread |
| 01:03:13 |
but in order to fulfill |
| 01:03:17 |
We must wipe out |
| 01:03:20 |
He's fucking nuts. |
| 01:03:22 |
Which brings us to you, |
| 01:03:26 |
If he wrote anything about me |
| 01:03:30 |
we're gonna have |
| 01:03:31 |
"and you shall know when the |
| 01:03:37 |
"because on that day, |
| 01:03:39 |
"a tiny entertainer |
| 01:03:41 |
will be raped |
| 01:03:45 |
That's it. |
| 01:03:47 |
I'm sorry, little -- |
| 01:03:48 |
Ohh! |
| 01:03:49 |
Ohh! |
| 01:03:51 |
Enough! Enough! Enough! |
| 01:03:53 |
Stop him! |
| 01:03:56 |
God damn it. |
| 01:03:58 |
Bring on the monkeys! |
| 01:04:03 |
Oh, not the monkeys. |
| 01:04:08 |
Where'd you get |
| 01:04:10 |
I don't fucking know. |
| 01:04:11 |
I got nothing to do |
| 01:04:14 |
Oh. |
| 01:04:15 |
Oh, shit. |
| 01:04:16 |
Ohh! |
| 01:04:23 |
Don't fuck the pants up, please. |
| 01:04:25 |
All in all, this has really |
| 01:04:29 |
Yeah. |
| 01:04:35 |
Unfortunately, the desperate |
| 01:04:38 |
suggests that we may |
| 01:04:40 |
to embrace martyrdom as we bring |
| 01:04:45 |
Now... |
| 01:04:50 |
How about Abdul? |
| 01:04:54 |
Oh, that is a great idea, |
| 01:04:57 |
Of course, |
| 01:05:01 |
Now, Abdul... |
| 01:05:04 |
If you don't want to be blown |
| 01:05:08 |
raise your hand, hop on |
| 01:05:16 |
Abdul it is. |
| 01:05:18 |
Now, if we just had Osama. |
| 01:05:22 |
Does anybody know |
| 01:05:28 |
So, you can see that just |
| 01:05:31 |
you can motivate your employees |
| 01:05:34 |
If you master my 117 steps |
| 01:05:39 |
I personally guarantee |
| 01:05:41 |
of little killer bees ready |
| 01:05:46 |
You can make them work |
| 01:05:50 |
especially if you put |
| 01:05:52 |
Now, some of you may be asking, |
| 01:05:55 |
Technically, yes, |
| 01:05:57 |
but the U.S. Air force uses it |
| 01:06:00 |
when they're on night missions |
| 01:06:02 |
So it can't be that illegal |
| 01:06:08 |
So...what now? |
| 01:06:10 |
So, you're |
| 01:06:13 |
Yeah, you know, |
| 01:06:17 |
I mean, obviously, this is |
| 01:06:19 |
But you can see |
| 01:06:21 |
where I kind of have to go |
| 01:06:24 |
I mean, you're my nephew, |
| 01:06:27 |
Got to lead them |
| 01:06:29 |
You're a douche. |
| 01:06:31 |
Not. |
| 01:06:33 |
Actually, the bible |
| 01:06:41 |
What the fuck, Richie? |
| 01:06:43 |
Come on, what? |
| 01:06:44 |
I'm -- I'm god on earth, |
| 01:06:46 |
Read your fucking bible. |
| 01:06:47 |
When you read |
| 01:06:50 |
it's remarkable |
| 01:06:54 |
Now, the way I read it |
| 01:06:56 |
was god chose you as a pawn |
| 01:07:00 |
But now it's time for someone |
| 01:07:04 |
someone... |
| 01:07:08 |
...who truly believes. |
| 01:07:13 |
No, Richie. |
| 01:07:18 |
Oh! |
| 01:07:27 |
Ugh! |
| 01:07:28 |
Ew! |
| 01:07:34 |
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I whoo! |
| 01:07:36 |
Whoo! Whoo! |
| 01:07:45 |
Fuck! |
| 01:07:47 |
Fuck me! |
| 01:07:49 |
I'm fucking gay! |
| 01:07:51 |
Who the fuck knew? |
| 01:07:52 |
I had no clue, man, |
| 01:07:55 |
Oh, I can finally learn |
| 01:07:59 |
I'm a fucking chubby chaser, |
| 01:08:02 |
Fuck it, man! |
| 01:08:03 |
This is great. |
| 01:08:05 |
Aww! |
| 01:08:06 |
You know what? |
| 01:08:08 |
Today is the start |
| 01:08:11 |
Right. |
| 01:08:14 |
Aah! |
| 01:08:21 |
Mitzi. |
| 01:08:27 |
Okay, so I'm bi. |
| 01:08:34 |
Yuck! |
| 01:08:38 |
You. |
| 01:08:41 |
You we are grateful to, |
| 01:08:44 |
so we will let you live... |
| 01:08:47 |
Until the bird flu gets you. |
| 01:08:51 |
Or we can put you out of your |
| 01:08:55 |
Actually... |
| 01:09:00 |
Actually... |
| 01:09:01 |
Uh, no. |
| 01:09:03 |
Um, you have |
| 01:09:08 |
Richie... |
| 01:09:10 |
if you want to have |
| 01:09:16 |
And why is that? |
| 01:09:18 |
Uh, because I am the only guy |
| 01:09:22 |
who knows where the truck |
| 01:09:36 |
Yeah! That's clever! |
| 01:09:38 |
That is clever! |
| 01:09:39 |
But it's |
| 01:09:43 |
You didn't go far. |
| 01:09:45 |
We'll just find it ourselves, |
| 01:09:47 |
and then we'll kill you! |
| 01:09:49 |
Or not, remember? |
| 01:09:52 |
The bible said that |
| 01:09:55 |
And you said |
| 01:09:57 |
And you killed Dave. |
| 01:09:59 |
Yeah, but as soon |
| 01:10:02 |
it just was a lousy idea, |
| 01:10:05 |
We'll be right back. |
| 01:10:10 |
Get in there! |
| 01:10:24 |
Aah. Aah. |
| 01:11:14 |
What are you still doing here? |
| 01:11:16 |
We're supposed to wait |
| 01:11:18 |
to get back |
| 01:11:19 |
And then we eat |
| 01:11:22 |
and ascend into god's love. |
| 01:11:25 |
Starr couldn't wait. |
| 01:11:27 |
She was on a cleanse. |
| 01:11:29 |
Yeah, that all |
| 01:11:33 |
Me -- |
| 01:11:35 |
I'm gonna go upstairs... |
| 01:11:37 |
kill me some terrorists... |
| 01:11:39 |
probably die |
| 01:11:43 |
If by some miracle |
| 01:11:47 |
I'm gonna find that fat fuck |
| 01:11:50 |
and stick this machine gun |
| 01:11:56 |
Yeah. |
| 01:11:58 |
Decisions, decisions. |
| 01:12:14 |
Uh-oh. |
| 01:12:24 |
Aah! |
| 01:12:30 |
Mine. |
| 01:12:32 |
Mine. |
| 01:12:34 |
What? |
| 01:12:37 |
Aww! |
| 01:12:40 |
Oh, you are good. |
| 01:12:41 |
Well, you are better. |
| 01:12:43 |
Come on. |
| 01:12:46 |
Aah! |
| 01:12:48 |
Let's go. |
| 01:12:50 |
You cunning little bitch. |
| 01:12:53 |
You're not retarded, |
| 01:12:55 |
You've just been faking it. |
| 01:13:02 |
Mine. |
| 01:13:03 |
Aah! |
| 01:13:09 |
They'll meet us later. |
| 01:13:18 |
All right, ladies. |
| 01:13:20 |
This is |
| 01:13:21 |
Aw. |
| 01:13:22 |
Go home |
| 01:13:24 |
Think for yourselves, |
| 01:13:25 |
And no more crazy cults |
| 01:13:27 |
that look forward |
| 01:13:29 |
Don't worry. |
| 01:13:31 |
We've decided to be Christians |
| 01:13:33 |
Well... |
| 01:13:45 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:13:48 |
Hold on. |
| 01:13:50 |
Why? |
| 01:13:51 |
Because you're married? |
| 01:13:52 |
No, I just want |
| 01:13:55 |
Oh! |
| 01:13:57 |
Hey. |
| 01:14:00 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:14:15 |
Paradise, here I come. |
| 01:14:22 |
Speaking of wild shit, |
| 01:14:25 |
have you seen |
| 01:14:28 |
Yeah, she's hard to miss. |
| 01:14:30 |
Yeah. |
| 01:14:32 |
She's a good fuck, though. |
| 01:14:35 |
You fucked her? |
| 01:14:37 |
Several times. |
| 01:14:39 |
She's got a clapper |
| 01:14:40 |
The lights go on and off |
| 01:14:45 |
Makes you feel |
| 01:14:47 |
Let's go to the trailer. |
| 01:14:49 |
Aw, right. |
| 01:14:58 |
Hey, |
| 01:15:00 |
Get him! |
| 01:15:05 |
Go! Go! Go! |
| 01:15:16 |
Come on! |
| 01:15:18 |
Go! Go! |
| 01:15:26 |
Unh! |
| 01:15:39 |
Come on. |
| 01:15:40 |
Eat this! |
| 01:15:44 |
I'm sorry! |
| 01:15:47 |
Bye, cowards! |
| 01:15:49 |
Aah! |
| 01:16:25 |
You are so hot. |
| 01:16:27 |
And you turned |
| 01:16:30 |
There were |
| 01:16:33 |
That's what they all say. |
| 01:16:35 |
I have to destroy a postal truck |
| 01:16:39 |
before a doomsday cult |
| 01:16:41 |
Gets their hands on it |
| 01:16:43 |
Yeah, like I believe that. |
| 01:16:45 |
Jihad! |
| 01:16:47 |
Huh? |
| 01:16:53 |
Okay. |
| 01:17:02 |
Great. |
| 01:17:03 |
Okay. |
| 01:17:07 |
Oh. |
| 01:17:11 |
It looks like your credit |
| 01:17:14 |
What? |
| 01:17:14 |
It looks like every |
| 01:17:17 |
has frozen your assets. |
| 01:17:19 |
Would you take a check? |
| 01:17:22 |
Cash, American. |
| 01:17:23 |
I'm a little short. |
| 01:17:25 |
Sammy, we need you |
| 01:17:28 |
Do you have any cash? |
| 01:17:29 |
No. |
| 01:17:35 |
Run! |
| 01:17:36 |
Freakin' Arabs. |
| 01:17:39 |
Go back to Mecca and run around |
| 01:17:44 |
Oh, god. |
| 01:17:46 |
Yeah, you ever get |
| 01:17:48 |
Yeah, it's brutal. |
| 01:17:52 |
What the hell was that? |
| 01:17:56 |
Fuck her, Greg. |
| 01:17:57 |
Yeah, come on. |
| 01:17:59 |
How's that, huh? |
| 01:18:01 |
A little to the left, |
| 01:18:03 |
Oh. |
| 01:18:04 |
Yeah. |
| 01:18:05 |
Oh, okay. |
| 01:18:07 |
You're right. |
| 01:18:10 |
Yeah. |
| 01:18:12 |
There you go. |
| 01:18:14 |
Oh, yeah! |
| 01:18:15 |
Yes! |
| 01:18:17 |
oh! |
| 01:18:20 |
Yes! |
| 01:18:23 |
Whoo-hoo! |
| 01:18:24 |
Who is that? |
| 01:18:26 |
My soon-to-be-ex-wife. |
| 01:18:28 |
Oh. |
| 01:18:29 |
Yeah! Yeah! |
| 01:18:31 |
Yeah! Yeah! |
| 01:18:32 |
Oh, yeah! |
| 01:18:33 |
You like that? |
| 01:18:34 |
Great job! |
| 01:18:37 |
That ought to do it. |
| 01:18:43 |
All right. |
| 01:18:44 |
Here, champ! |
| 01:18:46 |
Champ? |
| 01:18:48 |
Come on! |
| 01:18:50 |
Ah, poop. |
| 01:18:51 |
Let's get out of here. |
| 01:18:53 |
All right. |
| 01:18:59 |
Too late. |
| 01:19:03 |
Whoo-hoo! |
| 01:19:07 |
What the fuck was that? |
| 01:19:11 |
Fucking guy! |
| 01:19:16 |
Back! Back! |
| 01:19:18 |
Fucking die! |
| 01:19:19 |
Shoot that motherfucker down! |
| 01:19:22 |
I love you, Greggie. |
| 01:19:31 |
Go back! |
| 01:19:43 |
Let's do it! |
| 01:19:52 |
Hey! |
| 01:19:54 |
God damn it! |
| 01:19:56 |
Get the hell off my property! |
| 01:20:03 |
Motherfucking piece of shit! |
| 01:20:12 |
Hand over the Avian Flu, |
| 01:20:17 |
Hello? |
| 01:20:21 |
That's their truck, right? |
| 01:20:29 |
Oh, there he is... |
| 01:20:31 |
the guy |
| 01:20:35 |
We must |
| 01:20:37 |
by cutting out his spleen! |
| 01:20:44 |
Okay. |
| 01:20:46 |
Fuck this. |
| 01:20:47 |
Uh-huh. |
| 01:20:49 |
Bomb! |
| 01:20:50 |
Bomb! |
| 01:20:52 |
Bomb! |
| 01:20:53 |
B-b-b-b-bomb! |
| 01:20:55 |
Hold up! |
| 01:20:59 |
"big bomb that could take out |
| 01:21:06 |
Do I have your attention? |
| 01:21:23 |
Get down here! |
| 01:21:24 |
What is wrong with you people? |
| 01:21:27 |
You're so busy trying to blow up |
| 01:21:31 |
News flash, fucktards -- |
| 01:21:34 |
God doesn't need your help. |
| 01:21:36 |
He's God! |
| 01:21:39 |
And he, she, it -- |
| 01:21:44 |
they gave you life. |
| 01:21:46 |
And you're wasting it. |
| 01:21:50 |
Look around you. |
| 01:21:53 |
Look. |
| 01:21:55 |
Look, God damn it! |
| 01:22:02 |
See? |
| 01:22:04 |
We're not that different |
| 01:22:08 |
'cause we all come |
| 01:22:12 |
known as humanity. |
| 01:22:16 |
Now, what do families do? |
| 01:22:19 |
Do they fight? |
| 01:22:20 |
Yeah, sure. |
| 01:22:22 |
But they work it out |
| 01:22:26 |
and they know that |
| 01:22:29 |
just like all of us are, |
| 01:22:31 |
here on the crazy big mud ball |
| 01:22:36 |
called Earth. |
| 01:22:42 |
So, come on, people. |
| 01:22:44 |
Let's try and find |
| 01:22:49 |
Uh, well, |
| 01:22:54 |
Yeah. |
| 01:22:55 |
Yeah, well, |
| 01:22:57 |
No, no, no, no, |
| 01:23:00 |
Ah, sh-- |
| 01:23:01 |
A happy thing. |
| 01:23:04 |
I don't get it. |
| 01:23:05 |
I think it's time |
| 01:23:11 |
so we can fill our hands |
| 01:23:13 |
with hugs. |
| 01:23:22 |
If you want to waste this |
| 01:23:26 |
I can't stop you. |
| 01:23:32 |
So, go ahead. |
| 01:23:34 |
Shoot. |
| 01:23:36 |
Or... |
| 01:23:42 |
...hug. |
| 01:23:47 |
Shoot him. |
| 01:23:50 |
Oh, you motherfuckers! |
| 01:23:59 |
God damn! |
| 01:24:07 |
Aah! |
| 01:24:16 |
I'm starting to get pissed. |
| 01:24:22 |
Greggie, I'm still wet, |
| 01:24:23 |
Just plug that little thing in. |
| 01:24:26 |
Ugh! |
| 01:24:41 |
You've got |
| 01:24:47 |
Aah! |
| 01:24:50 |
Aah! |
| 01:24:54 |
You like that? |
| 01:25:09 |
Aah! |
| 01:25:14 |
Hey, Mo, |
| 01:25:28 |
Aah! |
| 01:25:38 |
Please insert |
| 01:25:41 |
to complete |
| 01:25:57 |
Hello, |
| 01:25:59 |
It's Osama. |
| 01:26:00 |
I need some help, man! |
| 01:26:02 |
Hi, there, Osama. |
| 01:26:03 |
How are you? |
| 01:26:04 |
You got to speak up, |
| 01:26:06 |
I can't hear you over the gunfire. |
| 01:26:08 |
Gunfire. I'm trapped in |
| 01:26:11 |
I'm here for you, buddy. |
| 01:26:13 |
We got you on satellite. |
| 01:26:15 |
Should I send a couple |
| 01:26:17 |
Uh-oh. |
| 01:26:20 |
No, I -- |
| 01:26:21 |
Please insert |
| 01:26:24 |
to continue |
| 01:26:28 |
I was thinking maybe |
| 01:26:32 |
Hey, that -- that could work. |
| 01:26:34 |
Uh, there's a field |
| 01:26:36 |
I'll pick you up there. |
| 01:26:38 |
Aw, thanks, Georgie. |
| 01:26:40 |
I, um... |
| 01:26:41 |
Yes? |
| 01:26:43 |
I just wish |
| 01:27:02 |
Shit. |
| 01:27:07 |
Oh! |
| 01:27:13 |
No hand-to-hand combat, |
| 01:27:22 |
No, no, no, no. |
| 01:27:32 |
Hello. |
| 01:27:33 |
Internal Revenue Service, |
| 01:27:37 |
We're here to conduct an audit |
| 01:27:40 |
You are |
| 01:27:44 |
Yes, sir. |
| 01:27:46 |
Hold on one moment, |
| 01:27:49 |
I have someone |
| 01:27:56 |
Unauthorized fruit sales. |
| 01:27:58 |
I should have brought that dip. |
| 01:28:04 |
Jihad! |
| 01:28:06 |
Ji-- oh, yeah. |
| 01:28:08 |
Jihad, yeah. |
| 01:28:09 |
Abdul! |
| 01:28:12 |
Abdul, where is your belt? |
| 01:28:15 |
You're not wearing |
| 01:28:22 |
We're taking |
| 01:28:31 |
Abdul. |
| 01:28:34 |
Lorraine, Lorraine... |
| 01:28:36 |
Stop licking |
| 01:28:38 |
You're my publisher. |
| 01:28:39 |
You tell them |
| 01:28:41 |
of why everybody |
| 01:28:42 |
"how to fire an employee |
| 01:28:44 |
Because I'm a -- |
| 01:28:52 |
Aah! |
| 01:29:00 |
Aah! |
| 01:29:03 |
You ruined everything! |
| 01:29:06 |
Oh. |
| 01:29:08 |
Oh, shit! |
| 01:29:10 |
Don't be a dick... |
| 01:29:12 |
No! |
| 01:29:13 |
...dick. |
| 01:29:33 |
At an Alabama high school today... |
| 01:29:35 |
Did you -- champ! |
| 01:29:38 |
Hey, buddy. |
| 01:29:39 |
Hey! Hey! |
| 01:29:42 |
I thought |
| 01:29:44 |
...garbage duty |
| 01:29:46 |
Nice to see you, pal. |
| 01:29:48 |
We're interrupting |
| 01:29:50 |
to take you live |
| 01:29:53 |
from the President. |
| 01:29:57 |
This is the President |
| 01:29:59 |
of the United States of America. |
| 01:30:02 |
C.I.A. Intelligence |
| 01:30:03 |
that the governments |
| 01:30:06 |
were directly responsible |
| 01:30:09 |
recently uncovered in Paradise. |
| 01:30:13 |
Worse still, they continue to |
| 01:30:18 |
In response, we've been forced |
| 01:30:21 |
to destroy both countries |
| 01:30:24 |
China, despite |
| 01:30:28 |
was able to send |
| 01:30:35 |
They should hit |
| 01:30:39 |
I wish you all the best of luck |
| 01:30:43 |
and God Bless America. |
| 01:30:53 |
Well? |
| 01:30:59 |
I regret nothing. |
| 01:31:01 |
You know what? |
| 01:31:03 |
Oh! |
| 01:31:04 |
Don't you want me |
| 01:31:07 |
Come on! |
| 01:31:08 |
Come on. |
| 01:31:12 |
Go out! |
| 01:31:32 |
Ugh. |
| 01:31:34 |
They got a hu-- |
| 01:31:36 |
Oh, god! |
| 01:31:53 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:31:58 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:32:04 |
# hand in hand, we'll stroll the |
| 01:32:10 |
# we'll be friends |
| 01:32:13 |
# buddies, you and me # |
| 01:32:14 |
Georgie, I think |
| 01:32:17 |
of a beautiful friendship |
| 01:32:18 |
# flowers all around # |
| 01:32:21 |
# from the birth |
| 01:32:23 |
# we hear the magic sound, |
| 01:32:27 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:32:32 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:32:38 |
# devils cast into the sea # |
| 01:32:41 |
# brothers without love # |
| 01:32:43 |
# ripple to a tidal wave # |
| 01:32:46 |
# swelling to a flood # |
| 01:32:49 |
# brave the storm, |
| 01:32:52 |
# courage, it's not far # |
| 01:32:54 |
# sail away # |
| 01:32:56 |
# we'll find a day in the land |
| 01:33:00 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:33:06 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:33:11 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:33:17 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:33:23 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:33:28 |
# oo-oo-oo-ooh # |
| 01:33:47 |
# tree of life bearing fruit # |
| 01:33:50 |
# nourishing us all # |
| 01:33:53 |
# as the sun will become |
| 01:33:59 |
# let us take our appleseed |
| 01:34:04 |
# soon we'll seen an apple tree |
| 01:35:34 |
Attention, residents |
| 01:35:39 |
Don't miss the sale |
| 01:35:43 |
With the purchase of one clone, |
| 01:35:46 |
get a second clone... |
| 01:35:50 |
for |
| 01:35:57 |
There's no business |
