Prayers for Bobby
|
00:00:21 |
O God I need you too. |
00:00:24 |
I want to see your face. |
00:00:27 |
It is this love I have |
00:00:31 |
It makes me search for you. |
00:00:36 |
I need you to listen, |
00:00:39 |
I need you to answer. |
00:00:42 |
I need you to listen, |
00:00:45 |
I need you to answer. |
00:00:50 |
Do not avoid my eyes |
00:00:56 |
Do not toss me aside. |
00:01:00 |
O God, do not drop me. |
00:02:27 |
Alright you two. |
00:02:34 |
I like her. |
00:02:35 |
I think she likes you. |
00:02:37 |
What tells you that Mum? |
00:02:42 |
Here you go Mum. |
00:02:51 |
This is such a nice day. |
00:02:52 |
Who knows this? |
00:02:54 |
May those who love you, |
00:02:55 |
be like the sun when it rises in its strength. |
00:02:58 |
Corinthians? |
00:02:59 |
Judges 5:31. |
00:03:03 |
So grandma, how old are you again? |
00:03:04 |
Never mind. |
00:03:06 |
You know you shouldn't ask for the age... |
00:03:11 |
That's very nice! |
00:03:14 |
Save some for me, will you? |
00:03:19 |
That's very nice! |
00:03:20 |
Who's that from? |
00:03:22 |
From you and Mary! |
00:03:24 |
Well correct! |
00:03:26 |
I was just testing. |
00:03:28 |
Remember Mum? |
00:03:29 |
We were at the mall |
00:03:31 |
and you said you liked that. |
00:03:33 |
So I went back and I got it for you. |
00:03:35 |
Nancy honey, get me my purse. |
00:03:38 |
Why am I always the one harassed to get the purse? |
00:03:42 |
Youngest Griffith girl's the purse mule. |
00:03:44 |
O Grandma. |
00:03:45 |
Open mine. |
00:03:46 |
Why do I have to be the purse mule? |
00:03:49 |
Ok. Fine. |
00:03:53 |
Yes, I think it suits me. |
00:03:55 |
What do you guys think? |
00:03:57 |
Grandma, that is a lovely shade of lipstick. |
00:03:59 |
Beautiful! |
00:04:00 |
O Ed stop it. |
00:04:01 |
Why? What's wrong Mum? |
00:04:03 |
It's disgusting. |
00:04:05 |
If you ask me, |
00:04:06 |
queers should all be |
00:04:09 |
Didn't you say that last year |
00:04:12 |
What did you say? |
00:04:14 |
Never mind. |
00:04:16 |
What is this? |
00:04:18 |
It's a journal. |
00:04:19 |
Like a diary. |
00:04:20 |
I don't need any more stuff. |
00:04:26 |
Mum! |
00:04:28 |
- What? |
00:04:29 |
It's a good thing we didn't |
00:04:32 |
You can't take it personal. |
00:04:34 |
It's grandma. |
00:04:35 |
You know the rules. Shes mean sometimes. |
00:04:38 |
Bobby, she picks at me. |
00:04:41 |
Nobody ever picks on you. You're the favourite. |
00:04:45 |
So what's it like to be perfect? |
00:04:48 |
I'm perfect? |
00:04:49 |
You think I'm perfect? |
00:04:51 |
Have you looked in a mirror lately? |
00:04:56 |
Can I have it? |
00:04:59 |
You don't want it. |
00:05:00 |
Well, I'm taking it. |
00:05:01 |
I'm going to fill this up in a week. |
00:05:04 |
Come on. Let's go celebrate grandmas' |
00:05:19 |
I am ready. |
00:05:20 |
What? |
00:05:21 |
I want to go further. |
00:05:26 |
Is... Is something wrong? |
00:05:30 |
Here? I mean, this isn't really |
00:05:33 |
It doesn't have to be here. |
00:05:36 |
I should go. I have to |
00:05:38 |
Is something wrong? |
00:05:40 |
I don't think this is going to work. |
00:05:41 |
I think we should break up. |
00:05:44 |
I thought you liked me... I came |
00:05:49 |
I just don't want to get that serious. |
00:05:51 |
Well, it doesn't have to be serious, ok? |
00:05:54 |
It's not you, it's me. |
00:05:56 |
I'm sorry. |
00:06:33 |
Hey. |
00:06:34 |
You want to watch with me? |
00:06:36 |
I'm tired. |
00:06:37 |
Oh come on! |
00:06:38 |
Who else can I get to watch |
00:06:41 |
You know if it's not John Wayne, |
00:06:45 |
It's really scary. |
00:06:48 |
You know this scene's famous? |
00:06:50 |
Really? |
00:06:52 |
You know they got that glass of milk to glow? |
00:06:54 |
How? |
00:06:55 |
Well Hitchcock put a light bulb inside the glass |
00:07:00 |
No kidding. |
00:07:01 |
That's clever. |
00:07:03 |
How do you know that? |
00:07:05 |
Cause I'm brilliant. |
00:07:08 |
You are brilliant! |
00:07:09 |
Take it away; I'm eating too much. |
00:07:11 |
I think there's something wrong with me. |
00:07:13 |
That's for sure. |
00:07:18 |
What you think Mum would do if she found out |
00:07:20 |
What you mean "if"? |
00:07:24 |
You know she's always saying... |
00:07:26 |
the whole family's going to be |
00:07:29 |
Well... |
00:07:31 |
What if one of us is a sinner? |
00:07:33 |
Have you sinned with Michelle? |
00:07:35 |
I promise I won't tell. |
00:07:36 |
It's not that. |
00:07:38 |
I'm just... |
00:07:39 |
thinking about stuff, you know? |
00:07:41 |
You think too much. |
00:07:43 |
It's dangerous. |
00:07:44 |
That's why I avoid it |
00:07:46 |
Yeah? |
00:07:50 |
I'm glad we talked. |
00:07:53 |
Seriously, something... something wrong? |
00:07:55 |
No. |
00:07:58 |
Relax, cause I'm your big bro. |
00:08:27 |
What's up Bobby? |
00:08:28 |
Ready to go? |
00:08:32 |
Hey Bobby. |
00:08:33 |
Cheryl. |
00:08:36 |
She's not your type. |
00:08:37 |
Too much eye shadow. |
00:08:38 |
What's wrong with Michelle? |
00:08:42 |
We broke up. |
00:08:43 |
Talk to you guys later. |
00:08:48 |
Not telling the truth... |
00:08:51 |
sometimes I feel like I'm at |
00:08:53 |
looking down at the crashing surf |
00:08:54 |
with nowhere to go but down. |
00:08:57 |
I used to have these fun dreams |
00:09:01 |
But now, as I fly, |
00:09:02 |
I'm afraid. |
00:09:04 |
They are telephone lines and |
00:09:08 |
How painful it would be to run into one. |
00:09:11 |
I wonder if I'll ever be free again. |
00:10:08 |
Hello? |
00:10:21 |
Bobby? Bobby? |
00:10:24 |
Hey! Bobby? What did you do? Ha? |
00:10:25 |
Did you take these? |
00:10:27 |
Answer me! |
00:10:28 |
No! |
00:10:29 |
Is that the truth? |
00:10:30 |
I couldn't do it, ok? |
00:10:35 |
I wanted to but I couldn't. |
00:10:41 |
What's wrong with you? |
00:10:44 |
Why I couldn't do it? |
00:10:47 |
Because it's a sin. |
00:10:51 |
Bobby, what are you talking about? |
00:10:56 |
I didn't want to go to hell, but... |
00:10:58 |
I am. |
00:10:59 |
Cause this is worse. |
00:11:00 |
Bobby, you're scaring me. |
00:11:05 |
You'd all hate me. |
00:11:06 |
I know it. I know that if you guys |
00:11:10 |
No. |
00:11:11 |
Whatever it is... |
00:11:12 |
we'll tell Mum... |
00:11:13 |
No! |
00:11:14 |
No. Mum wouldn't understand. OK? |
00:11:18 |
Then you have to tell me right now. |
00:11:24 |
I'm not like you Ed. |
00:11:26 |
So what? |
00:11:27 |
I keep trying. |
00:11:28 |
I keep telling myself that one day I'm going to |
00:11:36 |
I don't dream... |
00:11:37 |
about girls, like you do. |
00:11:40 |
I dream about guys. |
00:11:45 |
You're gay?! |
00:11:47 |
See? |
00:11:47 |
You even say it like you hate me. |
00:11:50 |
Bob, grime a break. |
00:11:50 |
I don't know what to do! |
00:11:53 |
- We'll tell Mum and dad. |
00:11:55 |
No. |
00:11:55 |
They can help, Bobby. They always |
00:11:58 |
They can help. |
00:11:59 |
I can't! Ok? |
00:12:02 |
And you're not going to say |
00:12:05 |
Promise me. |
00:12:07 |
Promise me you're not going to |
00:12:11 |
Ed, promise! |
00:12:13 |
Ok. |
00:12:14 |
I promise. |
00:12:21 |
Mum, if there was something wrong with one of your |
00:12:27 |
What did you do? |
00:12:28 |
It's not me, it's Bobby. |
00:12:29 |
What is it? |
00:12:32 |
I didn't want to tell you but he was... |
00:12:35 |
in such a bad shape, I'm really |
00:12:39 |
He thinks... |
00:12:40 |
he might be homosexual. |
00:12:44 |
He's not. |
00:12:46 |
He didn't want me to tell you. He was |
00:12:52 |
Ok? |
00:12:53 |
You know... he trusted me, you |
00:12:56 |
Ok, good. It's good. |
00:12:58 |
I'm glad you told me. |
00:13:00 |
There's no doubt in my mind that |
00:13:02 |
He'll help us. |
00:13:03 |
He'll heal Bobby. |
00:13:07 |
In order for all of us to be together |
00:13:09 |
we cannot stray. |
00:13:11 |
We can't sing like that. |
00:13:12 |
That is a terrible sin. |
00:13:14 |
The bible calls it an abomination. |
00:13:16 |
In Leviticus, if a man lies with |
00:13:19 |
they should both be put to death. |
00:13:20 |
I will not raise my family not |
00:13:23 |
Mary. Can we please worry about this life |
00:13:27 |
Hey. What's going on? |
00:13:30 |
Isn't there a problem you need to |
00:13:32 |
- No... |
00:13:35 |
If there is something wrong, you |
00:13:40 |
- How could you? |
00:13:41 |
I'm going to kill you! |
00:13:43 |
No! |
00:13:45 |
Ok, ok. Enough! |
00:13:46 |
I was worried about you! |
00:13:47 |
I trusted you! |
00:13:48 |
Calm down! |
00:13:49 |
Hey, Ed. Go find some room. |
00:13:54 |
Bobby, we're your family. |
00:13:55 |
We can get through this. |
00:13:56 |
I know that if we trust in God, |
00:13:59 |
It's curable with his help. |
00:14:00 |
I'm sorry. |
00:14:01 |
I can't help it. |
00:14:03 |
I don't even want it Mum! |
00:14:05 |
Bobby, you're not gay. |
00:14:07 |
You're probably just... |
00:14:09 |
you haven't met a girl that you're |
00:14:13 |
Please... |
00:14:14 |
Mum, please don't tell anyone please... |
00:14:17 |
- Mum, please don't tell anyone. |
00:14:19 |
It's going to be fine. |
00:14:29 |
I was worried about you. |
00:14:32 |
What was I supposed to do? |
00:14:34 |
I'm out of here. |
00:14:40 |
Thank you again for joining us |
00:14:41 |
I'm pastor Raymond |
00:14:43 |
and we'll take another call, |
00:14:45 |
this is from Melissa in Concord. |
00:14:46 |
Thank you reverend, |
00:14:48 |
My sister made a terrible mistake |
00:14:50 |
she sinned... |
00:14:53 |
I advise you to live according to |
00:14:57 |
Then you won't be doing... |
00:14:59 |
what your sinful nature craves. |
00:15:03 |
When the holy spirit controls your life, |
00:15:05 |
it will produce love, joy and kindness, |
00:15:08 |
goodness and self-control. |
00:15:11 |
Does everyone have to know? |
00:15:12 |
We're your family. |
00:15:23 |
I am pure of hearts. |
00:15:34 |
We still love you, Bobby. |
00:15:37 |
Yes, thanks. Can I get some privacy? |
00:15:46 |
Hi Mary! |
00:15:54 |
Everything you always wanted to |
00:15:59 |
If a homosexual who wants to renounce to |
00:16:03 |
finds a psychiatrist who knows |
00:16:07 |
he has every chance of becoming... |
00:16:08 |
a happy well adjusted heterosexual. |
00:16:21 |
Do you hear any voices? |
00:16:23 |
No. |
00:16:26 |
Do you ever hear any ringing sounds? |
00:16:29 |
No. |
00:16:30 |
Is that the phone? |
00:16:39 |
It was a joke. |
00:16:44 |
So you think you're a homosexual? |
00:16:50 |
Bobby, how many girls have you |
00:16:52 |
I don't know. Two. |
00:16:55 |
Had sexual relations with? |
00:17:02 |
Then how do you know for sure? |
00:17:05 |
I just... |
00:17:06 |
have these feelings, you know? |
00:17:07 |
I don't mean you know. I mean... |
00:17:10 |
I have these feelings. |
00:17:15 |
Do you want to be homosexual? |
00:17:23 |
I just want to be close with my |
00:17:25 |
I feel like I slipped up and now |
00:17:28 |
get back. |
00:17:28 |
I'm not going to be able to help you... |
00:17:30 |
if you don't answer my questions. |
00:17:37 |
No, I don't want to be this way. |
00:17:40 |
I'm going to talk with your mother |
00:17:48 |
She wants to talk to you. |
00:17:53 |
He can be cured. Right? |
00:17:58 |
He has to be willing to really put |
00:18:00 |
O, he is. I know he is. |
00:18:03 |
And I think it would be good, it would be important |
00:18:11 |
Right... |
00:18:13 |
How did it go? |
00:18:16 |
She said we should spend some more time |
00:18:19 |
Maybe the two of you could spend |
00:18:21 |
some quality time together. |
00:18:24 |
Yes, sure. |
00:18:30 |
That's all she said for 60$ an hour? |
00:18:33 |
She also wants the 3 of us to go to |
00:18:35 |
What? So it's our fault? |
00:18:37 |
No no... I don't know about it but |
00:18:39 |
Bob, I want you to be a part of this. |
00:18:43 |
I read that homosexuals have sex |
00:18:46 |
and that they recruit children. |
00:18:49 |
What are you saying? |
00:18:52 |
Do you think Bobby was recruited? |
00:18:54 |
Come on Mary, you're going overboard. |
00:18:55 |
You got to do something about this. |
00:19:04 |
Dear lord, we ask that you keep |
00:19:07 |
Please help him return to a pure heart. |
00:19:10 |
Do you think this will heal me? |
00:19:11 |
You have to trust the God will heal you. |
00:19:14 |
And that Satan will try to discourage |
00:19:17 |
Do you trust in god? |
00:19:19 |
Yeah. |
00:19:20 |
Now let me go to sleep. |
00:19:27 |
When temptation is all around you, |
00:19:30 |
faith is not enough. |
00:19:33 |
Not just mental, but physical. |
00:19:35 |
Who would like to share their story? |
00:19:40 |
I used to be so unhappy. |
00:19:42 |
I stayed out all night, |
00:19:43 |
I talked back to my mother. |
00:19:45 |
Since coming here and accepting Jesus |
00:19:48 |
I've changed.. |
00:19:49 |
My Mum and I are like best friends now. |
00:19:52 |
That's great Kerry. |
00:19:55 |
The power of prayer and hard work. |
00:19:57 |
Bobby what about you? |
00:20:02 |
Good... |
00:20:04 |
Well, you feel better. Don't you? |
00:20:06 |
Your hard works' paid off. Hasn't it? |
00:20:09 |
Yeah... |
00:20:11 |
Let's sing, shall we? |
00:20:46 |
Nothing I do seems to make a difference. |
00:20:49 |
I try to act like them but |
00:20:53 |
It's an awful feeling to believe you can |
00:20:57 |
Even worse is everyone telling you |
00:21:01 |
They don't know what it is to be |
00:21:04 |
I'm running, I'm not eating junk food. |
00:21:06 |
Good, good! |
00:21:07 |
Yeah, that's good but... |
00:21:09 |
I don't know the point of it. |
00:21:11 |
I mean, my face has cleared up but |
00:21:15 |
Well you have to stick with it. |
00:21:17 |
Do you like the people in your group? |
00:21:18 |
They're ok. |
00:21:20 |
This one girl, she... |
00:21:21 |
You know, I hope you're taking this |
00:21:23 |
I mean that I hope you are trying with |
00:21:25 |
I cannot lose you to this. |
00:21:27 |
You won't. |
00:21:34 |
Have faith! |
00:21:39 |
Well this is going to be fun. |
00:21:41 |
When was the last time all the |
00:21:59 |
So how's school? |
00:22:01 |
Good. |
00:22:05 |
You thought about your plans? |
00:22:08 |
Well college... |
00:22:11 |
No, I mean... |
00:22:11 |
life plans. |
00:22:13 |
Well, I'm still thinking of becoming |
00:22:15 |
Listen Bobby, you always had a strong |
00:22:16 |
and we've always been alright with that. |
00:22:18 |
But you're getting to the age where |
00:22:22 |
Alright, dreams... |
00:22:23 |
they're great when you're young, but... |
00:22:25 |
they don't really have... |
00:22:25 |
really have a place in the real world. |
00:22:32 |
Yeah. |
00:22:33 |
You hear what I'm saying to you? |
00:22:37 |
- Yeah. |
00:22:38 |
Alright. |
00:22:45 |
How did it go? |
00:22:48 |
I'm "healed". |
00:22:53 |
It was fine. |
00:22:55 |
Did you two talk? |
00:22:57 |
Yeah, we talked. |
00:22:59 |
What did you talk about? |
00:23:02 |
Mary, it was fine. |
00:23:04 |
No, but this is important. |
00:23:08 |
I did the best I could. |
00:23:15 |
A lot of times, confusions like Bobby's |
00:23:18 |
can be caused by a distant father or |
00:23:24 |
Well, I had both but I'm fine. |
00:23:28 |
- Bob? |
00:23:29 |
You need to participate in this. |
00:23:31 |
I'm right here Mary. I'm in the room. |
00:23:36 |
I think... |
00:23:37 |
I've been a very good father. |
00:23:39 |
And maybe you don't know this but |
00:23:42 |
stuff that his brother and other boys |
00:23:46 |
So I'm not going to force him. |
00:23:55 |
Hi Bobby I'm Sheila. |
00:24:00 |
Mum, who's that? |
00:24:03 |
Sheila is a student in my Sunday |
00:24:07 |
You got me a date? |
00:24:09 |
You need to go out with lots of girls. |
00:24:11 |
Can I at least pick my own? |
00:24:16 |
I do not think that you are. |
00:24:18 |
Have fun. |
00:24:21 |
You look nifty. Do you want a brownie for energy? |
00:24:23 |
- No |
00:24:29 |
Hello. Who's this? |
00:24:30 |
That's my brother Ed. |
00:24:31 |
- Hi. |
00:24:33 |
- Nice to meet you. |
00:24:34 |
- Hi. - Are you up to |
00:24:44 |
So you're never going to talk to me again? |
00:24:50 |
What if she wants me |
00:24:52 |
Tell her you're gay. |
00:25:15 |
Watch out fag. |
00:25:34 |
Did you tell your friends? |
00:25:36 |
Bobby, that's not my friend. |
00:25:38 |
You told everyone I'm gay? |
00:25:39 |
I haven't told anyone. Stop being |
00:25:41 |
You all hate me for it. |
00:25:42 |
I know you don't think I see it but I do. |
00:25:45 |
I got to go. |
00:25:47 |
Bobby... |
00:25:56 |
It's 3 in the morning! |
00:26:00 |
Sorry I lost track of time. |
00:26:02 |
Where were you? |
00:26:05 |
Bobby... |
00:26:08 |
You weren't with homosexuals, were you? |
00:26:12 |
This is not you. |
00:26:15 |
This is temptation working its ways. |
00:26:17 |
You have to pray harder if you're going to get well. |
00:26:21 |
Good night, Mum. |
00:26:24 |
Pray for forgiveness right away. |
00:26:28 |
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21:22 |
00:26:46 |
It was fine, girls. But I got to go. |
00:26:48 |
Ok. |
00:26:50 |
Bobby! Hey! |
00:26:53 |
Where's Joy? |
00:26:54 |
She's at work so she asked me to pick you up. |
00:26:58 |
You're welcome. |
00:27:00 |
- What's with you? |
00:27:01 |
You think I didn't notice that? |
00:27:04 |
You don't want your friends to see me. |
00:27:05 |
Some people wouldn't understand. |
00:27:07 |
And now it's so obvious... |
00:27:08 |
What did you tell them? |
00:27:10 |
Well look the way you're wearing. |
00:27:12 |
And I told you time after time not to do that thing with your arm. |
00:27:16 |
Makes you look like a girl and you continue to do it. |
00:27:19 |
- I'm always dressed this way. |
00:27:23 |
Why you're doing this? |
00:27:25 |
No, you're not. |
00:27:27 |
You're trying to help YOU! |
00:27:28 |
It's not about me. It's about what people think about you. |
00:27:30 |
Imagine if they thought your son |
00:27:32 |
What's wrong with you? |
00:27:34 |
Stop that! |
00:27:36 |
Nita Mum. Great. |
00:27:38 |
Lets go home! |
00:27:39 |
- I'm walking. |
00:27:40 |
Where are you going? |
00:28:46 |
I've never seen you around here before. |
00:28:49 |
You are really beautiful. |
00:28:57 |
I got to go. |
00:28:58 |
Can I call you? |
00:29:04 |
No. |
00:29:15 |
Metropolitan Community Church |
00:29:21 |
Bobby... |
00:29:23 |
Don't worry. I was at church. |
00:29:34 |
- Hi Cousin |
00:29:40 |
So, how long you're here for? |
00:29:41 |
Just a day, I'm driving home tonight. |
00:29:43 |
I came to see my dad. But I couldn't resist stopping by. |
00:29:48 |
Maybe it's not a choice. |
00:29:50 |
So you say that sterlings not a choice. |
00:29:53 |
What? |
00:29:54 |
Aunt Mary, lunch is delicious. |
00:29:56 |
Joy's right Bobby. |
00:29:58 |
The bible says: |
00:29:58 |
Men committed shameless acts with men |
00:30:01 |
and received in their owns person the due penalty for their error. |
00:30:04 |
You just won't change, will you? |
00:30:06 |
I can't erase what's in the bible. |
00:30:07 |
Personally, I think people should be able to love whoever they want. |
00:30:16 |
Did I mention how good lunch is? |
00:30:18 |
Even animals know what to do it with. |
00:30:22 |
Actually, our dog does it with a pillow... |
00:30:23 |
Can we please find something different to discuss? |
00:30:27 |
Ed, why don't you tell us about college? |
00:30:30 |
I dropped school last week. |
00:30:33 |
You what? |
00:30:37 |
Well, what about college? |
00:30:38 |
I'm not going. |
00:30:40 |
Great! |
00:30:42 |
What's next? |
00:30:44 |
You want to ruin your life? |
00:30:46 |
Yeah well it's my life to ruin. |
00:30:54 |
Is it like this at every meal? |
00:30:56 |
Pretty much. |
00:30:59 |
You should come up and visit me in Portland. It's so great! |
00:31:02 |
I used to envy you.. |
00:31:04 |
When I came here with Mum and Dad, I always wished your parents were my parents. |
00:31:08 |
You all seemed so close. |
00:31:10 |
Well that's over with. |
00:31:12 |
I think they love the sinners. Not the sin. |
00:31:14 |
They should love the son no matter what the sin. |
00:31:17 |
Hey that's good. |
00:31:18 |
I'm going to start my own bible. |
00:31:28 |
Think about coming to Portland? |
00:31:33 |
Hi Mrs. Griffith! |
00:31:34 |
Is Bobby here? |
00:31:38 |
Bobby! |
00:31:39 |
You know it's enough you go God knows where at night. |
00:31:42 |
But now you're bringing these deviants into my house. |
00:31:44 |
It's my house too. |
00:31:45 |
And they're my friends. |
00:31:47 |
Is that what that boy is? |
00:31:48 |
Is it a sin to have friends now too Mum? |
00:31:50 |
We have a good time, ok? |
00:31:52 |
We go to the rocky chore together. |
00:31:53 |
Does it mean we're all going to get trucked down? |
00:31:55 |
They're gay, aren't they? |
00:31:57 |
I thought you were getting better. |
00:31:58 |
When? |
00:31:59 |
When I was miserable? |
00:32:02 |
You're right Mum! |
00:32:03 |
I'm doomed just to roast in hell! |
00:32:04 |
Don't say that. |
00:32:05 |
That's what your bible says! |
00:32:06 |
The bible also says a person can change. |
00:32:08 |
I tried Mum. I can't! |
00:32:10 |
Why do you keep choosing this? |
00:32:12 |
Why would I choose this? |
00:32:14 |
Why would I choose to have my entire family hate me? |
00:32:16 |
No we love you. Can't you see that's why we're doing this? |
00:32:19 |
Really Mum? Is that what love feels like? |
00:32:27 |
Have fun in Portland. |
00:32:30 |
Here's an issue for your vacation. |
00:32:32 |
I hope you like it. |
00:32:36 |
Promise me you'll write and call all the time? |
00:32:39 |
It's two months. |
00:32:42 |
Drive carefully. |
00:32:43 |
Don't worry Madam. |
00:32:47 |
You call me when you get to Portland. |
00:32:49 |
I had this engraved with your initials. |
00:33:05 |
I love you guys. |
00:33:12 |
Bye Bobby. |
00:33:24 |
Already I'm glad to be away from Walnut Creek. |
00:33:27 |
This feels like a new life. |
00:33:29 |
A new day. |
00:33:30 |
I'm going to be a success in every way I can. |
00:33:34 |
It's my goal to achieve, |
00:33:35 |
a sense of pride, |
00:33:37 |
and worth as a human being. |
00:33:49 |
Gorgeous cousin. |
00:33:55 |
Welcome to Portland! |
00:34:14 |
Trust me... |
00:34:15 |
You don't find clubs like this back home. |
00:34:17 |
I'll see. |
00:34:30 |
Welcome to London House cousin. |
00:34:32 |
This is amazing! |
00:34:33 |
Let's go boogie. |
00:34:55 |
David! |
00:34:57 |
Janette! |
00:35:00 |
This is my cousin Bobby. |
00:35:04 |
Nice to finally meet you Bobby! |
00:35:37 |
So Janette tells me your Mum wants to cure you of your gayness. |
00:35:41 |
Yeah, well... |
00:35:43 |
My parents don't really understand it. |
00:35:45 |
Do yours? |
00:35:46 |
They didn't first. |
00:35:47 |
But, they eventually came around. |
00:35:50 |
How did you get them to change? |
00:35:52 |
Well, one day, |
00:35:54 |
I told them «Accept me as I am, or forget me!» |
00:35:59 |
I know my Mum means well but I don't know if she'll ever accept me. |
00:36:07 |
Just don't stop trying. |
00:36:16 |
Now that you know |
00:36:17 |
What every parent should know about homosexuality |
00:36:47 |
Have a great trip. |
00:36:50 |
Don't let her get to you. |
00:36:52 |
And don't be afraid to stand up to her. |
00:37:07 |
Too much flew by fast. |
00:37:14 |
I'll call you when I get home. |
00:37:16 |
You'd better. |
00:37:22 |
Well. Look who's home. |
00:37:24 |
- Hey Dad. |
00:37:27 |
Just in time for dinner. Come on in. |
00:37:30 |
That's funny. |
00:37:32 |
So how was Portland? |
00:37:33 |
Yeah... |
00:37:34 |
Portland was great. |
00:37:35 |
Good! |
00:37:36 |
I'm thinking of maybe moving there for a little bit. |
00:37:40 |
Moving there? |
00:37:41 |
I met someone... |
00:37:47 |
A guy. |
00:37:52 |
Girls... |
00:37:53 |
Give me a hand with this. |
00:37:57 |
We're supposed to pretend we didn't hear that? |
00:37:59 |
Yes. |
00:38:01 |
Bobby... |
00:38:02 |
This might not have been the right time. |
00:38:05 |
I know. |
00:38:06 |
I'm sorry.. |
00:38:12 |
You should start thinking about college for next fall. |
00:38:14 |
You need to get your GED first. |
00:38:16 |
I mean... |
00:38:16 |
it's ok to take some time off but... |
00:38:18 |
Did you hear me? |
00:38:20 |
I don't want to know. |
00:38:21 |
I want you to know. |
00:38:24 |
His name's David. |
00:38:25 |
We always start at the beginning every time and if we're not getting any more different let's just not go there. |
00:38:29 |
When I'm with him, |
00:38:31 |
it feels so... |
00:38:32 |
good! |
00:38:34 |
He treats me well... |
00:38:35 |
he's funny and he's smart... |
00:38:37 |
Stop. I mean it. I don't want to hear it. |
00:38:40 |
I spent the last year listening to you and you're going to listen to me for once. |
00:38:44 |
It feels good when I'm with David. |
00:38:46 |
But if he touches me in public, |
00:38:48 |
or God forbids, kisses me, |
00:38:51 |
I pull away. |
00:38:53 |
I feel ashamed. |
00:38:54 |
Because you know it's wrong. |
00:38:55 |
- Because YOU told me it's wrong. |
00:38:59 |
It's not the bible. It's you! |
00:39:01 |
Why can't you admit that? |
00:39:03 |
Why can't you admit that you can't stand what I am? |
00:39:06 |
What you've become! |
00:39:07 |
What I am! |
00:39:09 |
I'm sorry. I'm not the perfect little Bobby you always wanted. |
00:39:13 |
But I can't keep apologizing for it Mum. |
00:39:15 |
Accept me as I am or forget it. |
00:39:17 |
I won't have a gay son. |
00:39:21 |
Then Mum you don't have a son. |
00:39:23 |
Fine. |
00:39:32 |
Bobby... |
00:39:44 |
Did you really think she'd change, Bobby? |
00:39:50 |
She meant it. |
00:39:53 |
She meant that. |
00:39:58 |
I really want you to be happy. |
00:40:02 |
And I'm sure that guy's really nice. |
00:40:06 |
No matter what. She'll never accept it. |
00:40:10 |
It's going to be a lonely life because he'll never be welcome here. |
00:40:13 |
And for Christmas, Thanksgiving, anything. |
00:40:26 |
Don't worry about Mum too much. She'll come around. |
00:40:30 |
I'm not going to hold my breath. |
00:40:33 |
Here you go. |
00:40:36 |
The parachute pants! |
00:40:40 |
Thanks. |
00:40:44 |
I'll send you my first novel when I write it. |
00:40:50 |
Bye Buck-Tooth! |
00:40:53 |
Take care, ok? |
00:40:56 |
Drive safe. |
00:41:51 |
...most of the new cases up to 5 a day seem to be settled in the homosexual community... |
00:41:56 |
The AIDS becoming known as «the gay disease». |
00:42:13 |
Well... |
00:42:14 |
your Mum went allot for your birthday. |
00:42:18 |
No card. |
00:42:19 |
A sweater and "AIDS - The Wrath of God". |
00:42:23 |
Whoa. |
00:42:24 |
Happy birthday! |
00:42:26 |
You can't expect anything different from her, Bobby. |
00:42:29 |
She's not going to change. |
00:42:30 |
Birthdays were always a big deal for all of us. |
00:42:34 |
I'm just not in the «all of us» anymore. |
00:42:37 |
Can't get that throughout my head. |
00:42:42 |
There's David. |
00:42:45 |
Talk to you later. |
00:42:56 |
You sure this is ok? |
00:42:58 |
They're going to love you. |
00:43:03 |
Let's go. |
00:43:04 |
Dad, do you have to tell that story? |
00:43:07 |
Hey, I felt I had to. |
00:43:08 |
Yes. And I've got about a dozen more where that came from if you're interested. |
00:43:13 |
Oh, oh no thanks. |
00:43:16 |
So Bobby... |
00:43:17 |
tell us more about you. |
00:43:18 |
You grew up in Walnut Creek, right? |
00:43:20 |
David says you're very close to your family. |
00:43:22 |
Yeah. |
00:43:23 |
So how are your parents with you being gay? |
00:43:26 |
Not good. |
00:43:28 |
Well... |
00:43:28 |
Maybe it's hard for them at first. |
00:43:31 |
They'll come around. |
00:43:32 |
You seem like a wonderful young man. |
00:43:37 |
Hey! |
00:43:37 |
- Cheers to that! |
00:43:40 |
It's great to meet you Bobby. |
00:43:42 |
So how did you guys meet? |
00:43:44 |
You know Janette?... |
00:43:50 |
It's a sin. |
00:43:51 |
It's not natural. |
00:43:56 |
He'll never be welcome here. |
00:44:00 |
Sometimes I hurt so bad... |
00:44:02 |
And I'm scared and I'm alone. |
00:44:05 |
I'm sure they love you. |
00:44:08 |
I'm damned. |
00:44:13 |
I'm slowly sinking in a vast lake of quick sand. |
00:44:16 |
A bottomless pool. |
00:44:19 |
I wish I could crawl under a rock and sleep forever. |
00:44:34 |
You've reached David. |
00:44:35 |
I'm not here right now but if you leave a message after the beep, I'll get right back to you. |
00:44:39 |
Have a good one... |
00:44:42 |
Hey David it's Bobby. |
00:44:46 |
I thought you'd be there. |
00:44:48 |
Look I'm... |
00:44:51 |
I really need someone to talk to and I was hoping you'd be there. |
00:44:58 |
Please, |
00:45:01 |
dear lord, continue to convict Bobby's heart off sin. |
00:45:21 |
That he may find his way |
00:45:23 |
The way of purity, |
00:45:25 |
the way of the righteous. |
00:46:09 |
It's a sin. |
00:46:10 |
It's not natural. |
00:47:00 |
I won't have a gay son. |
00:47:12 |
You're going to be late for school. |
00:47:13 |
You're the one who slept in. |
00:47:15 |
Ok, then we're both going to be late for school. |
00:47:17 |
Meet you in the car. |
00:47:18 |
- OK! |
00:47:23 |
Janette, what's wrong? |
00:47:28 |
No... |
00:47:31 |
What's wrong? |
00:47:32 |
No... |
00:47:33 |
What's wrong? |
00:47:34 |
Nancy, get out of here! |
00:47:36 |
Dad! |
00:47:38 |
Daddy... |
00:47:42 |
Hello. |
00:47:45 |
Hi. Hi, Janette... |
00:47:47 |
Mary, you've been called up front and he said to bring your purse. |
00:47:52 |
Probably one of the kids that needs money again. |
00:47:56 |
I need a break anyway. |
00:47:57 |
Bye. |
00:48:20 |
What is it? |
00:48:24 |
Bobby killed himself. |
00:48:30 |
He jumped off a bridge. |
00:48:32 |
He... He's gone. |
00:48:39 |
Help me! |
00:48:44 |
Help me! |
00:48:46 |
My son is dead! |
00:48:49 |
Let me out! |
00:48:51 |
My son is dead! |
00:49:04 |
Joy, slow down. What's wrong? |
00:50:04 |
Thank you. |
00:50:19 |
Death of a loved one is always tragic |
00:50:22 |
But the death of a young person can be particularly painful. |
00:50:26 |
Because that person had his whole life ahead of him. |
00:50:29 |
Bobby was only 20 years old. |
00:50:31 |
We'll never know who he could have been. Or what he could have accomplished. |
00:50:36 |
Bobby was a good young man but he was lost. |
00:50:40 |
By giving into temptation, he strayed. |
00:50:44 |
Then disillusioned, |
00:50:47 |
he chose to end his life. |
00:50:50 |
Now we know to condemn the sin, |
00:50:53 |
not the sinner, |
00:50:55 |
it was this sin that Bobby succumbed to. |
00:50:59 |
It led to his unhappiness. |
00:51:01 |
And it led him |
00:51:03 |
to take his own life. |
00:51:07 |
As goodness begets goodness, |
00:51:09 |
so does sin begets sin. |
00:51:12 |
They're ok with this? |
00:51:40 |
They're running low on sandwiches. |
00:51:42 |
Mum, do you think Bobby got salvation? |
00:51:45 |
I don't know. |
00:51:47 |
Suicide is a sin. |
00:51:48 |
But maybe God knows that Bobby wasn't in his right mind?. |
00:51:52 |
I mean... |
00:51:53 |
Why would God allow Booby to go to hell if it was in his power to cure him? |
00:51:57 |
I don't know Mary! |
00:51:59 |
Clear yourself together. |
00:52:01 |
People are uncomfortable enough. |
00:52:11 |
Thank for coming. |
00:52:13 |
I'm so sorry for your loss. |
00:52:22 |
Mrs Griffith. Mr. Griffith.. |
00:52:25 |
I'm David. |
00:52:27 |
I was a friend of Bobby's. |
00:52:31 |
I want to offer my condolences. |
00:52:48 |
He was an amazing young man. |
00:52:58 |
I'm so sorry. |
00:53:21 |
Aunt Mary... |
00:53:23 |
David is a good person. |
00:53:25 |
All of Bobby's friends were. |
00:53:28 |
When Bobby was here, he was under control. |
00:53:30 |
Then he moves to Portland and someone puts all these ideas into his head. |
00:53:33 |
It wasn't like that. |
00:53:34 |
David cared for Bobby. |
00:53:36 |
We're his family. |
00:53:37 |
We know how to help me, |
00:53:39 |
he wanted to change, to be closer to god. |
00:53:40 |
To be closer to YOU! |
00:53:42 |
Then he went further and further into that life style and he couldn't get out. |
00:53:46 |
Do you believe everything they tell you in church? |
00:53:48 |
I know you and uncle Bob meant with that segment... |
00:53:51 |
Bobby knew the repercussions about homosexual lifestyle. |
00:53:53 |
Bobby was good, descent and kind. |
00:53:57 |
Someone who didn't even know Bobby stood up there and condemned him, and you let him. |
00:54:02 |
Bobby did everything he could to make himself acceptable to you. |
00:54:05 |
He was so good, and bright, and funny. He should be praised. |
00:54:10 |
I'm sorry you can't see it that way. |
00:54:13 |
Maybe you should go. |
00:54:16 |
Fine. |
00:54:17 |
I left Bobby's things in his room. |
00:55:05 |
Bobby! |
00:55:06 |
Hey Mum! |
00:55:10 |
Don't you ever do that again! |
00:55:13 |
I knew it wasn't true. |
00:55:15 |
I knew God would bring you back to me. |
00:55:17 |
Mum, you worry too much. |
00:55:55 |
I'm slowly sinking in a vast lake of quick sands. |
00:55:58 |
A bottomless pool. |
00:56:00 |
I wish I could crawl under a rock and sleep forever. |
00:56:03 |
No one understands me. |
00:56:05 |
No one in this house can accept my side of the story. |
00:56:08 |
I can feel god's eyes looking down on me with pity. |
00:56:11 |
I can't never let anyone find out I'm not straight. |
00:56:13 |
It would be so humiliating... |
00:56:15 |
My friends would hate me. |
00:56:17 |
and my family... |
00:56:19 |
Mum. |
00:56:19 |
I've overheard them. |
00:56:21 |
Thank you. |
00:56:22 |
They've said that they hate gays. |
00:56:24 |
And even God hates gays. |
00:56:27 |
It really scares me when they talk that way because now they are talking about me. |
00:56:31 |
I don't want to choose sin. |
00:56:33 |
I don't. |
00:56:34 |
I'm so mad and frustrated god... |
00:56:37 |
I seem to be at the end of the road. |
00:56:40 |
Why do you remain silent? |
00:56:43 |
May 30th. |
00:56:44 |
Memorial Day Barbecue. |
00:56:46 |
Had fun. |
00:56:48 |
Mum was sweet and funny self. |
00:56:50 |
Like the old Mum... |
00:56:52 |
For a second it felt like the old days. |
00:56:55 |
She smiled at something I said, |
00:56:57 |
and I saw on her eyes that for a second she forgot what she really thinks of me. |
00:57:02 |
The anger never erupts. |
00:57:04 |
My timid nature would never allow a fully fledged thunderstorm to occur. |
00:57:09 |
But it's there, on the horizon. |
00:57:11 |
I can feel god's eyes looking down on me with such pity. |
00:57:15 |
He can't help me though. |
00:57:17 |
Because I've chosen sin over righteousness. |
00:57:45 |
Excuse me. |
00:57:47 |
You alright Ed? |
00:57:48 |
Oh yeah, I'm fantastic. |
00:57:52 |
Ed. We have to deal with this as a family. |
00:57:55 |
That was your answer for Bobby too but it didn't work. |
00:57:58 |
Damned! |
00:58:00 |
I'll go. I'll go. |
00:58:01 |
Excuse me. |
00:58:07 |
Come, Nancy. |
00:58:37 |
You want to get out of here, maybe go for a beer? |
00:58:47 |
Did he even think about what he would do to us? |
00:58:51 |
He could have called... |
00:58:53 |
or something but... |
00:58:56 |
not just screw us, right? |
00:58:58 |
Ed... |
00:58:58 |
Nothing no! No goodbye, no note, nothing. Just... |
00:59:06 |
I'm sorry Bobby. |
00:59:09 |
I'm sorry. |
00:59:11 |
Are you happy now? |
00:59:13 |
I'm sorry Bobby. |
00:59:15 |
Are you happy now? |
00:59:17 |
Ed... |
00:59:21 |
It's not your fault. |
00:59:36 |
There must be other Bobbys out there. |
00:59:40 |
Other young gay people who may be thinking of taking their lives. |
00:59:45 |
Does the church reach out to them? |
00:59:49 |
They are other churches that do that. |
00:59:52 |
Reverend Joseph asked us to tell you how sorry he is for your loss. |
00:59:58 |
- We can come back in a couple of weeks and check in on your f... |
01:00:06 |
I don't know what to do. |
01:00:09 |
I need to make peace with this and I can't. |
01:00:14 |
The lord says the impure will be thrown into the lake of fire. |
01:00:20 |
Bobby... |
01:00:21 |
sinned! |
01:00:22 |
But he was pure of heart. |
01:00:25 |
He'd never knowingly hurt anyone. |
01:00:30 |
Is that enough? |
01:00:37 |
Is it? |
01:00:43 |
Dear god, |
01:00:45 |
my relationship to you leaves something to be desired. |
01:00:49 |
I have never asked of you, |
01:00:51 |
only given, as I was told. |
01:00:53 |
Your holy spirit has taught me so much... |
01:00:56 |
But now there's more I need to know. |
01:01:06 |
Hey! |
01:01:11 |
I can't. |
01:01:16 |
Ok. |
01:01:25 |
I think I'm going to sleep in the living room. |
01:02:13 |
Reverend? |
01:02:14 |
Mary Griffith. |
01:02:15 |
Nice to have you with us, Mary. |
01:02:17 |
The bible... |
01:02:19 |
it says that homosexuality is a sin punishable by death. Do you believe that? |
01:02:23 |
There are other interpretations of the bible, Mrs Griffith. |
01:02:26 |
My son... |
01:02:27 |
was gay... |
01:02:29 |
and he killed himself. |
01:02:31 |
Is there another interpretation of that? |
01:02:36 |
I'm sorry. |
01:02:42 |
What was his name? |
01:02:45 |
Bobby. |
01:02:46 |
Bobby Griffith. |
01:02:50 |
I saw him here a couple of times. |
01:02:52 |
My Bobby? |
01:02:54 |
He always sat way in the back. |
01:02:57 |
He stopped coming. |
01:02:59 |
I am so sorry. |
01:03:01 |
You must be... |
01:03:02 |
I need answers. |
01:03:04 |
I need to know where he is. |
01:03:06 |
Is homosexuality an unforgivable sin? |
01:03:09 |
Leviticus, 18:22 says: |
01:03:12 |
«If a man lies with another man, it is an abomination. » |
01:03:15 |
An abomination, in that time, didn't mean sin. It meant unclean. |
01:03:19 |
Leviticus also goes on to |
01:03:20 |
say eating shellfish is an abomination. |
01:03:23 |
Or mixing fabrics... |
01:03:25 |
Leviticus 20:13 |
01:03:27 |
«If a man lies with another man, they both should be put to death. » |
01:03:29 |
And then he says the same thing about an adulterer, or a child that disobeys their parents. |
01:03:35 |
And we certainly don't interpret that scripture literally. |
01:03:38 |
In Deuteronomy 22, |
01:03:39 |
«If a woman is not a virgin on her wedding day, |
01:03:42 |
she should be taken to her father's house and stoned to death. » |
01:03:46 |
So what do you tell people who come here? |
01:03:49 |
Gay people... |
01:03:51 |
That homosexuality is ok? |
01:03:53 |
That it is permissible in god's eyes? |
01:03:56 |
I tell them what I believe to be the truth: |
01:03:58 |
that God loves them as they are. |
01:04:00 |
God's vengeance is great. |
01:04:02 |
So is his compassion. |
01:04:04 |
You shouldn't teach them |
01:04:05 |
that homosexuality is ok. |
01:04:08 |
That's not what the bible says. |
01:04:10 |
It just confuses them more. |
01:04:12 |
Mrs Griffith, |
01:04:12 |
if you'd like to come back during the week and talk, |
01:04:15 |
my door is open, |
01:04:16 |
but not to be blamed. |
01:04:18 |
ok? |
01:04:56 |
I think that we got |
01:04:57 |
a pretty good one, |
01:04:59 |
nice and full. |
01:05:01 |
A couple of balls like your dear old dad. |
01:05:03 |
Or grandma... |
01:05:08 |
Yeah... |
01:05:09 |
Mum, can we hang this one on the tree? |
01:05:16 |
I remember when he made this. |
01:05:19 |
Second grade. |
01:05:21 |
Mrs Towns' class, I think. |
01:05:23 |
He was so proud of himself. |
01:05:28 |
Where do you want to put it? |
01:05:30 |
Up high. |
01:05:31 |
So he can look out. |
01:05:39 |
Hey, they work. |
01:05:45 |
I'm going to go check on my cookies. |
01:06:10 |
I found the passage you talked about. |
01:06:13 |
About stoning to death |
01:06:14 |
Deuteronomy, 22. |
01:06:16 |
But what about Sodom and Gomorrah? |
01:06:19 |
God punishes the sin of homosexuality. How do you explain that? |
01:06:23 |
It's nice to see you too, Mary. |
01:06:26 |
What's this for? |
01:06:27 |
It's a roomish sale. |
01:06:29 |
All gay people have roomish too. |
01:06:32 |
So... |
01:06:33 |
What about Sodom and Gomorrah? |
01:06:35 |
Many scholars think this sin was greed and not homosexuality. |
01:06:39 |
And it wasn't labelled homosexuality until years after it was written. |
01:06:43 |
Do you have answers for all these things just to justify being that way? |
01:06:47 |
You have answers to justify that it's wrong. |
01:06:50 |
I guess we're in an impasse here. |
01:06:53 |
So you think it's ok to interpret the bible any way you want? |
01:06:57 |
No, of course not. But the bible was written and interpreted my mortal men. |
01:07:02 |
And many of those interpretations were reflections of the time and what they lived. |
01:07:07 |
So you feel completely free to question it? |
01:07:11 |
Because... |
01:07:12 |
I think it's blasphemous. |
01:07:14 |
I don't think God minds questions. |
01:07:16 |
He might not be thrilled with all our answers. |
01:07:20 |
I think blind faith is just as dangerous as none at all. |
01:07:23 |
I've never questioned my faith. I... |
01:07:25 |
I've never had reasons to. |
01:07:27 |
Sometimes to question it... |
01:07:29 |
helps you find a deeper faith. |
01:07:33 |
Bobby stopped coming here. |
01:07:37 |
I think the reason was... |
01:07:39 |
he couldn't never allow himself to feel worthy of God's love. |
01:07:46 |
And we didn't help. |
01:07:48 |
Mary... |
01:07:50 |
Have you ever heard about P-FLAG? |
01:07:52 |
It's a national organisation. |
01:07:56 |
No, that's not for me. |
01:07:57 |
They can help. |
01:07:59 |
You'd be able to see you're not so alone in this. |
01:08:01 |
Bye reverend. |
01:08:02 |
No. |
01:08:02 |
There's a woman in Concord, Betty Lambert. |
01:08:05 |
You'll love her. |
01:08:06 |
She has a gay son in his 30s. |
01:08:09 |
I just had a few questions. |
01:08:12 |
Just in case. |
01:08:19 |
It's true. There's a passage that says if children are disobedient they should be put to death. |
01:08:24 |
And I mean no one interprets that literally. |
01:08:28 |
What I'm saying is... |
01:08:30 |
if the church no longer interprets that literally, |
01:08:33 |
maybe homosexuality is also on that list. |
01:08:36 |
Well, maybe. |
01:08:38 |
Well, don't you think that's important? |
01:08:40 |
Mary, I wasn't that keen with the first interpretation of the bible. |
01:08:43 |
Well, it could mean that Bobby's in heaven. |
01:08:46 |
Yeah, well, he's not here. |
01:08:48 |
Right? |
01:08:48 |
Why isn't that enough for you? |
01:08:51 |
Is it enough for you?! |
01:08:54 |
Does it make it any better? |
01:08:55 |
Everything you're doing? |
01:08:56 |
What do you want me to do? |
01:08:59 |
Just forget about him? I can't do that. Maybe you can. |
01:09:01 |
I don't want to forget about him, Mary. |
01:09:03 |
I want to remember him. Then I want to move on. |
01:09:05 |
But I can't! |
01:09:06 |
Nobody can... |
01:09:08 |
Just walk away. Like you always do. |
01:09:09 |
You never deal with anything. |
01:09:11 |
Oh, I see... |
01:09:13 |
Maybe if I did, Bobby would still be alive today? |
01:09:14 |
Is that what you're saying? Is that what you think? |
01:09:19 |
You can answer me! |
01:09:29 |
Listen Mary, we both made mistakes. We all made mistakes. But it's done, he's gone. |
01:09:31 |
We're not going to bring him back. |
01:09:34 |
I know that! |
01:09:36 |
Don't you know I know that?! |
01:09:59 |
Mary? |
01:10:00 |
I'm Betty. |
01:10:01 |
Hello. |
01:10:02 |
Betty Lambert. |
01:10:03 |
I'm so glad you called. |
01:10:05 |
Please, come in. |
01:10:07 |
Reverend Whit sell told me what happened to Bobby. |
01:10:10 |
I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose a child like that... |
01:10:15 |
How long has it been? |
01:10:19 |
Six months... |
01:10:20 |
Six months and a few days. |
01:10:24 |
Our son was 14 when he came out to us. |
01:10:27 |
Isn't that a little young? |
01:10:31 |
I knew before then. |
01:10:34 |
We, mothers, we always know. Don't we? |
01:10:37 |
And you were ok with it? |
01:10:39 |
Oh god, no. |
01:10:41 |
I don't think any parent hears the news and thinks «Oh Goodie»! |
01:10:49 |
«Goodie» wasn't the first word that came to my mind. |
01:10:54 |
Mary... |
01:10:56 |
Why don't you come to a P-FLAG meeting with me? |
01:10:59 |
No, I'm... |
01:11:01 |
I'm not good at talking in groups. |
01:11:03 |
So don't talk. |
01:11:05 |
Just come and listen. |
01:11:08 |
I think you'll be shocked |
01:11:10 |
at how many people think they were the All-American-Family. |
01:11:15 |
I'll think about it. |
01:11:21 |
Eric was taunted in school all the time. |
01:11:25 |
Mary, you came. |
01:11:26 |
I can't stay long. |
01:11:27 |
That's great. Come on in. |
01:11:29 |
I was so furious, I went to the principal. |
01:11:32 |
But he didn't do a thing to the boys who did it. |
01:11:36 |
I was shocked by that. |
01:11:38 |
I called them fruits, and ferries. |
01:11:41 |
I didn't know. |
01:11:42 |
It took me a long time to accept my Sam. |
01:11:46 |
I think I always knew. |
01:11:48 |
I mean... |
01:11:49 |
He asked for a pink Lactose shirt for his birthday. |
01:11:53 |
He was always different. |
01:11:55 |
So he tells me he's gay... |
01:11:57 |
What do I do? |
01:11:58 |
I take him hunting. |
01:12:00 |
There he is in his pink Lactose shirt, he saw a deer |
01:12:03 |
and yelled «Run, Bambi, run» |
01:12:06 |
I always knew I could love my son |
01:12:09 |
I never thought I could accept him. For who he is. |
01:12:13 |
Well, when Gil told me she was gay. I insisted she see a psychiatrist. |
01:12:18 |
But when that man suggested shock therapy, |
01:12:22 |
I looked at my baby and, the hurt in her eyes. |
01:12:27 |
I thought «This is crazy!» |
01:12:29 |
Ah, hello reverend! |
01:12:30 |
Please, come sit down. |
01:12:31 |
Hi guys! |
01:12:32 |
Hi reverend! |
01:12:33 |
Glad to see you're all here tonight. |
01:12:35 |
As you may know, reverend Whit sell is a pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church, |
01:12:40 |
and he's proposing a gay freedom day to the Walnut Creek city council. |
01:12:45 |
The city council vote happens in about a month. |
01:12:47 |
and I would love all your support. |
01:13:06 |
Mary! |
01:13:42 |
Mary? |
01:13:45 |
Mary, what are you doing out here? |
01:13:48 |
You're soak. Come inside. |
01:13:49 |
I didn't know where else to go. |
01:13:57 |
I was sitting there, |
01:13:59 |
listening to all their stories. |
01:14:02 |
About how they... |
01:14:04 |
always just knew... |
01:14:06 |
their kid was different. |
01:14:10 |
And then I had this dream tonight... |
01:14:13 |
Bobby was a baby. |
01:14:21 |
My son was always different. |
01:14:28 |
His difference began at conception. |
01:14:33 |
I knew that. |
01:14:35 |
I felt it. |
01:14:38 |
I know now... |
01:14:40 |
why God didn't heal Bobby |
01:14:44 |
He didn't heal him because... |
01:14:48 |
there was nothing wrong with him. |
01:14:53 |
I did this! |
01:14:56 |
I killed my son! |
01:14:58 |
You did not kill your son. |
01:14:59 |
Bobby killed himself. |
01:15:01 |
How could God forgive me? |
01:15:04 |
How could Bobby forgive me? |
01:15:07 |
God has already done the forgiving. |
01:15:09 |
You have to forgive yourself. |
01:15:13 |
I'm so sorry! |
01:15:17 |
I'm so sorry! |
01:15:30 |
Dear god. |
01:15:31 |
Give us something we can live with |
01:15:33 |
and pass on to others whose lives will never be the same because of a loved one's death. |
01:15:39 |
I did not decide on brown eyes for myself. |
01:15:42 |
And I now realize that Bobby didn't decide to be gay. |
01:15:46 |
If you say in your word |
01:15:48 |
that it is evil and wicked to be born with no arms, |
01:15:51 |
and a child is born with no arms, |
01:15:54 |
What is that child to think? |
01:16:02 |
Our first order business is a proposal for a gay freedom day in Walnut Creek. |
01:16:08 |
Attention, please. |
01:16:09 |
We have a select group to debate the issue. |
01:16:11 |
I don't see her. |
01:16:12 |
...it's reverend Whit sell. |
01:16:15 |
For one day, |
01:16:17 |
for one day, people can celebrate their difference rather than feel shame. |
01:16:21 |
They should be ashamed! |
01:16:25 |
There are so many other people who need our time and our attention. |
01:16:29 |
Why are we wasting it on this? |
01:16:31 |
Alright, alright. Let's have some order here please. |
01:16:34 |
They spit in the face of decency and morality. |
01:16:39 |
We cannot allow the fabric of our society to be torn apart. |
01:16:45 |
Right? |
01:16:51 |
I heard he tries to run for the Human Relations commission, |
01:16:54 |
they picked that limped Whit sell instead. |
01:16:57 |
They sent him a letter. |
01:16:59 |
I said, 'We sing hymns at our church'. |
01:17:01 |
What do you do with the hymns at your church? |
01:17:03 |
So unless anyone else has anything else to add, |
01:17:05 |
we'll adjourn to make our decision. |
01:17:08 |
Mary? |
01:17:10 |
Hey Dad! |
01:17:12 |
Dad, get in here! |
01:17:14 |
Dad hurry up! Mum's on TV. |
01:17:16 |
Homosexuality is a sin. |
01:17:19 |
Homosexuals are dammed to spend eternity in hell. |
01:17:24 |
If they wanted to change, |
01:17:25 |
they could be healed of their evil ways. |
01:17:28 |
If they would turn away from temptation, |
01:17:31 |
they could be normal again. |
01:17:33 |
If only they would try and try harder, |
01:17:36 |
if it doesn't work. |
01:17:38 |
These are all the things I said to my son Bobby when I found out he was gay. |
01:17:42 |
When he told me he was homosexual, |
01:17:44 |
my world fell apart. |
01:17:47 |
I did everything I could |
01:17:48 |
to cure him of his sickness. |
01:17:51 |
8 months ago, my son... |
01:17:53 |
jumped off a bridge and killed himself. |
01:17:57 |
I deeply regret my lack of knowledge about gay and lesbian people. |
01:18:02 |
I see that everything I was taught and told was bigotry and dehumanizing slender. |
01:18:08 |
If I had investigated, beyond what I was told, |
01:18:11 |
if I had just, |
01:18:13 |
listened to my son, |
01:18:16 |
when he poured his heart out to me... |
01:18:18 |
I would not be standing here today with you |
01:18:21 |
filled with regrets. |
01:18:23 |
I believe |
01:18:24 |
that God was pleased with Bobby's kind and loving spirit. |
01:18:28 |
In god's eyes |
01:18:29 |
kindness and love are what it's all about. |
01:18:32 |
I didn't know that each time that I echoed eternal damnation for gay people... |
01:18:37 |
each time I referred to Bobby as sick and perverted and a danger to our children... |
01:18:43 |
his self-esteem, |
01:18:45 |
his sense of worth, were being destroyed. |
01:18:49 |
and finally, |
01:18:50 |
his spirit broke beyond repair. |
01:18:55 |
It was not god's will that Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway overpass |
01:19:01 |
and jumped directly into the path |
01:19:03 |
of an 18 wheel truck which killed him instantly. |
01:19:08 |
Bobby's death |
01:19:09 |
was the direct result of his parents' ignorance and fear of the word gay. |
01:19:17 |
He wanted to be a writer. |
01:19:20 |
His hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him but they were. |
01:19:26 |
They are children |
01:19:28 |
like Bobby, |
01:19:30 |
sitting in your congregations, |
01:19:33 |
unknown to you, |
01:19:34 |
they will be listening, |
01:19:36 |
as you echo «Amen». |
01:19:40 |
And that will soon silence their prayers. |
01:19:44 |
Their prayers to god, |
01:19:45 |
for understanding, |
01:19:46 |
and acceptance, |
01:19:48 |
and for your love. |
01:19:51 |
But your hatred, and fear, |
01:19:54 |
and ignorance of the word «gay» will silence those prayers |
01:19:59 |
So... |
01:20:03 |
before you echo «Amen» |
01:20:05 |
in your home and place of worship. |
01:20:08 |
Think! |
01:20:09 |
Think and remember. |
01:20:11 |
A child is listening. |
01:20:19 |
Oh, Mum... |
01:20:26 |
Should be good. |
01:20:39 |
He lost. |
01:20:41 |
They voted the order install. |
01:20:43 |
Well, he'll try again next year, right? |
01:20:47 |
So, we're really going to San Francisco? |
01:20:49 |
I think we have to. |
01:20:50 |
I don't think that's a choice. |
01:20:53 |
Well... |
01:20:55 |
that's ironic. |
01:20:58 |
Ok. |
01:21:09 |
Are we late? |
01:21:10 |
Just in time! |
01:21:12 |
Jacky, is this everyone? |
01:21:13 |
Oh! honey, no... |
01:21:15 |
Come with me. |
01:21:16 |
We have a special place for you. |
01:21:18 |
Ok. |
01:22:02 |
To all the Bobby and Janes out there... |
01:22:05 |
I say these words to you as I would with my own precious children. |
01:22:09 |
Please don't give up hope on life. |
01:22:11 |
Or yourselves. |
01:22:13 |
You're very special to me. |
01:22:15 |
I'm working very hard to make this world a better and safer place for you to live in. |
01:22:20 |
Promise me you'll keep trying. |
01:22:22 |
Bobby gave up on love. |
01:22:24 |
I hope you won't. |
01:22:26 |
You're always in my gods. |
01:22:30 |
My name is Bobby Griffith. |
01:22:33 |
I write this in hope that one day, |
01:22:35 |
many years from now, |
01:22:37 |
I would be able to go back |
01:22:38 |
and remember what my life was like, |
01:22:40 |
when I was a young and confused adolescent, |
01:22:42 |
desperately trying to understand myself in the world I live in |
01:22:46 |
The other reason I write this, |
01:22:48 |
so long after I died, |
01:22:50 |
others may have a chance to read about me, |
01:22:53 |
and see what my life as a young person was like. |
01:24:00 |
On December 6th 1995, Mary Griffith testified before members of the Congress of the United States. |
01:24:06 |
Her tireless work protecting the rights of gay and lesbian youth has established her as a major force in the fight for human rights. |
01:24:14 |
Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember. A child is listening. - Mary Griffith |
01:24:22 |
In loving memory of |