Quick Change

en
00:02:09 Nude women!
00:02:10 Nude women!
00:02:12 Clowns welcome!
00:02:14 Clowns welcome!
00:02:16 Nude women! Clowns welcome!
00:02:36 - Hey! I got three more minutes.
00:02:41 - I said we're closed, Bozo.
00:02:44 And that's "Mr. Bozo," okay?
00:02:48 Say, that's right. It ain't quite
00:02:56 Hugh...
00:02:58 ...let's not mess with me today, okay?
00:03:01 I'm robbing the bank.
00:03:03 What the hell kind of clown are you?
00:03:05 - The crying-on-the-inside kind, I guess.
00:03:10 - Really?
00:03:12 Let's go.
00:03:21 This is a robbery.
00:03:26 Do you believe this?
00:03:28 - This is a robbery.
00:03:40 Thank you.
00:03:42 All right, quiet, put your hands on top
00:03:49 We're all gonna die.
00:03:51 We're all gonna die.
00:03:55 We're all gonna die!
00:04:04 Button it up, pal.
00:04:09 Don't anybody move.
00:04:14 What did I just say?
00:04:22 All right. That's better.
00:04:29 - Fill this up with regular, please.
00:04:32 - Don't worry. It's insured.
00:04:35 They can't insure it
00:04:40 Would you please give him a receipt.
00:04:42 And you...
00:04:44 ...watch the double negatives, huh?
00:04:47 Okay, anybody else need a receipt?
00:04:50 Okay, we're all going into the vault now.
00:04:54 - Let's go.
00:04:56 - This will all be over with presently.
00:05:13 Hey! Move it! Move it!
00:05:23 Move it back!
00:05:32 - Do you have the key to this?
00:05:38 I'll need another one of these
00:05:41 And I'm gonna need you
00:05:45 ...presently.
00:05:48 Now, the police are gonna want me
00:05:51 ...as a sign of good faith.
00:05:54 The best way to get out
00:05:57 If they want proof that I'm serious...
00:06:00 ...I'll carve up the troublemakers first.
00:06:03 Jesus, God!
00:06:05 - Shut up.
00:06:08 God!
00:06:12 - May I use your phone?
00:06:19 Give up now. That is the only door.
00:06:26 Tell them anybody gets near this place,
00:06:30 If I don't hear from the guy
00:06:33 ...I'll send your thumb out
00:06:36 And, thanks...
00:06:38 ...for calling me friend.
00:06:41 This is Princeton. You have
00:06:45 Do not come near the bank.
00:07:05 Hot dogs! Hot dogs!
00:07:13 Give me sound down.
00:07:16 Chief, apparently we've got 12 people
00:07:20 Bank security got this picture.
00:07:30 - The hostage negotiator's on his way, sir.
00:07:34 - Till when, sir?
00:07:44 To my beloved wife Carol,
00:07:47 ...and the apartment on 78th Street.
00:07:49 The stock portfolio will be divided equally
00:07:53 David, you can have the Giants tickets.
00:08:00 Don't do this.
00:08:02 It'll be okay.
00:08:03 He said...
00:08:05 ...he'd carve up the troublemakers first.
00:08:11 Why don't you shut the hell up!
00:08:22 Damn!
00:08:23 Give me a break.
00:08:29 Coming.
00:08:41 - Mom?
00:08:44 Who are you? Where's Mom?
00:08:46 Chief of police.
00:08:50 You know, I was in 'Nam
00:08:53 Oh, boy.
00:08:54 What's your name, son?
00:08:57 Well...
00:09:00 ...I always liked the name Chip.
00:09:03 Would you call me Chip?
00:09:05 Okay.
00:09:07 What was that shooting just now, Chip?
00:09:09 Oh, wait! Call me Skip.
00:09:12 Okay, Skip. What was that shooting?
00:09:16 Well, the cameras.
00:09:18 I shot the cameras.
00:09:22 Quit looking at me!
00:09:26 My God. He's barking.
00:09:28 Skip, we can be inside, on top of you,
00:09:31 Try to run, you won't get 5 feet.
00:09:34 Yeah. Well, you tell your men
00:09:37 ...and blow up the whole street.
00:09:41 Don't you think I know
00:09:44 Switch on a recorder,
00:09:46 ...while you crawl out
00:09:49 Not a bad plan, except I couldn't fit
00:09:52 Besides, I've booby-trapped the vents
00:09:58 Come on down! Get out of there!
00:10:07 God, I hate this town.
00:10:11 Let's see if we can make
00:10:15 - I'd like to get those people out of there.
00:10:18 I want a city bus with a full tank of gas.
00:10:23 I want a Harley-Davidson XL 1 ooo.
00:10:28 I want a monster truck.
00:10:31 - A what?
00:10:34 ...here on the street.
00:10:38 I'll get you the choppers,
00:10:42 ...and the monster truck just as soon
00:10:47 Oh, yeah. I'm sure
00:10:49 ...once I'm inside the bank
00:10:52 - At least give me the women.
00:10:56 One hostage per demand.
00:10:58 One?! Listen, I've had just about enough
00:11:02 - We're coming in through the plate glass.
00:11:05 I gotta hang up now because I gotta go
00:11:09 Don't bust my chops, wise guy.
00:11:12 It takes time to find two pilots who
00:11:16 I don't need a pilot.
00:11:18 Now, you got 3o minutes to meet my first
00:11:22 259-o66o. Don't try anything rash,
00:11:27 6o? And that's here in area code 212?
00:11:33 All right. Do what he says:
00:11:36 Set them up out here
00:11:40 - Is it a diversion, chief, or is he crazy?
00:11:44 He'll come out of that bank with
00:11:48 He'll make a run for a chopper
00:11:52 Are we?
00:11:54 He said no pilots. That means he's flying it.
00:11:59 Now, they'll get a bead on whichever clown
00:12:02 ...and take him out
00:12:05 Here he comes.
00:12:08 - He's gonna let one of us go.
00:12:11 That makes sense: Save the one
00:12:14 You prick.
00:12:16 - I'm gonna vomit.
00:12:20 - No way!
00:12:26 - It's been decided. I'm the first to go.
00:12:29 - Who decided it?
00:12:32 It really isn't your decision,
00:12:36 - Have you got my money ready back there?
00:12:48 You're the kind of person that gets
00:12:57 They're meeting my first demand.
00:13:00 All right, to show this fascist dictator here
00:13:05 ...I'll let you folks decide
00:13:08 - Him!
00:13:12 - Him?
00:13:15 Let's... Come on. Come on. Let's go.
00:13:18 Get downwind of me.
00:14:00 Sir, is human life at stake?
00:14:03 The stink of death was in the air.
00:14:06 He said he knew how to make men
00:14:11 Oh, don't exaggerate or anything.
00:14:13 And so we have our first report
00:14:15 Our first description of this clown
00:14:21 Now, that's original.
00:14:23 Steve, Jody, I'll be here
00:14:31 Can it. Here comes Clarabell.
00:14:34 - Hi.
00:14:43 - What's this?
00:14:47 Okay, it's an Audemars Piguet.
00:14:52 Thing cost me 12,ooo,
00:14:54 As I say, it's my gift to you.
00:14:57 - Boy, it is nice.
00:15:01 - I can't keep this.
00:15:05 No, I would be beholden.
00:15:10 May I buy it?
00:15:12 - I mean, would you take three bills for it?
00:15:16 Unless someone makes a higher offer.
00:15:21 It's got a moon on it.
00:15:23 Great. And here's my watch.
00:15:26 ...and the band is the Twist-o-Flex
00:15:29 I appreciate this damn thing
00:15:39 You pig.
00:15:42 Excuse me? Pig?
00:15:44 I doubt it. Think the lady
00:15:48 I think you're just afraid to party
00:15:53 A real man, who has to use a gun...
00:15:56 ...who has to dress up like that
00:15:59 You're not a man.
00:16:01 You're a coward.
00:16:04 Oh, no. No!
00:16:07 She... She does not speak
00:16:10 We think you're quite brave.
00:16:14 You big pussy!
00:16:17 - You're a bunch of pussies.
00:16:20 You don't need this kind of aggravation.
00:16:34 Hey, chief. On the bus, we've got an
00:16:38 In the motorcycle, we got enough gas
00:16:41 We stationed shooters
00:16:44 - Any word on the monster truck?
00:16:47 Did you get any description
00:16:49 Average height, average build,
00:16:55 Thanks.
00:17:02 - Thank you for using A T& T.
00:17:06 - You owe me two more hostages.
00:17:09 Tell me when my monster truck gets here.
00:17:15 - You ready, doll?
00:17:17 Relax. I'm right behind you.
00:17:30 Come on, already.
00:17:37 Son of a bitch! Bastard!
00:17:49 - Are you people all right?
00:17:52 He's peeking at us through the curtains.
00:17:59 The man is an animal.
00:18:00 Ripping out phones, urinating on desks.
00:18:04 You see what he did
00:18:06 There's a scratch here.
00:18:10 It's okay.
00:18:11 Did he hurt anybody else?
00:18:15 "If I could sleep 1 o days in a rice paddy,
00:18:20 This is what the animal said to us.
00:18:24 "Baby, up your butt with a coconut."
00:18:27 I think he was prepared to do it,
00:18:32 He had no coconut to my knowledge.
00:18:33 No coconut, huh?
00:18:35 What about dynamite?
00:18:37 Any? It's everywhere.
00:18:39 It's on him. It's on us.
00:18:42 Hostages strapped to tables as shields.
00:18:46 The man is an animal.
00:18:48 He's sick.
00:18:53 You okay, mister?
00:18:55 Officer Martin, take these two
00:18:59 Yes, sir.
00:19:03 - The key is, he's an animal.
00:19:06 Oh, so I'm repeating myself. I suppose you
00:20:07 It's 4:48.
00:20:09 If he hasn't called back by 5,
00:20:26 Damn.
00:20:59 This is Rotzinger.
00:21:01 Can you give me a little more time?
00:21:03 I promise I won't hurt anybody.
00:21:05 I'll call you right back. I promise.
00:21:12 Now, where were we?
00:21:17 Oh, Phyllis! Oh, Phyllis!
00:21:22 Grimm.
00:21:27 Guys.
00:21:28 Phyllis, you were so great back there.
00:21:33 I couldn't tell if you were pretending.
00:21:36 This is true. Let's see Miss Meryl Streep
00:21:39 Fantastic.
00:21:41 Loomis, could we have
00:21:46 - Sure, Grimm.
00:22:00 I can't believe we did it.
00:22:02 Do you remember the night
00:22:04 - Proposed?
00:22:07 Oh, you mean the night the pipes froze
00:22:10 And as we lay there freezing...
00:22:12 ...waiting to be discovered dead,
00:22:16 That look a woman
00:22:19 "I blame you for everything."
00:22:22 Yeah, that look.
00:22:24 I said, "Phyllis, before we lose our
00:22:28 Let's not be the Bickersons,
00:22:31 I know a way.
00:22:33 Phyllis, will you rob a bank with me?"
00:22:37 I will, Grimm. I will.
00:22:46 Grimm...
00:22:49 ...I have to tell you something.
00:22:51 I found something out yesterday.
00:22:55 What? What is it?
00:22:57 I just feel funny.
00:22:59 I feel... You know, I feel complete.
00:23:02 Grimm, you already were complete.
00:23:04 If you were any more complete,
00:23:16 Bad neighborhood to get
00:23:18 Especially with a fortune
00:23:21 All right, I gotta make a quick call
00:23:27 - This is Rotzinger.
00:23:30 Feeling better, I see.
00:23:33 Your Macho Maniac is here.
00:23:35 You owe me another hostage.
00:23:36 I'll check it out. I'm going to
00:23:44 Did you have something to tell me?
00:23:46 I want to wait.
00:23:50 I can see it doesn't have
00:23:53 What?! You son of a bitch.
00:23:55 You never said a goddamn word
00:23:59 We had to send all the way to Jersey
00:24:02 Don't insult me.
00:24:04 Now, you get me
00:24:06 ...and don't get back to me
00:24:12 - What was that?
00:24:14 Don't try to change the subject.
00:24:16 - No tilt body, no hostages.
00:24:20 It's gonna take time
00:24:24 Well, that's not my problem.
00:24:42 It was an accident.
00:24:45 They would have waited forever
00:24:49 Just throw me out of the car
00:24:53 I could have called them
00:24:55 ...just to tell them I was still in the bank.
00:25:05 Let's get to the airport.
00:25:10 Now, you get me
00:25:13 ... and don't get back to me
00:25:16 There it is, a beep.
00:25:18 - Can you isolate that beep?
00:25:20 It could be a horn. Clowns carry horns,
00:25:24 - Sometimes their noses are horns.
00:25:27 I'll tell you what I think it was.
00:25:29 And it wasn't his fucking nose.
00:25:39 How much time did we lose, exactly?
00:25:41 They won't storm in
00:25:44 Then there's chaos while they round up
00:25:49 Finally, they'll realize some are missing.
00:25:51 - By then...
00:25:54 And they still won't know who we are.
00:25:56 For God's sake, shut that up!
00:25:59 Turn that trash off!
00:26:02 God, I hate this town.
00:26:09 Grimm, guess what.
00:26:11 Wait a second.
00:26:14 Did we miss the Expressway?
00:26:16 I didn't see it.
00:26:19 They were working on the signs back there.
00:26:31 Go! Go! Go!
00:26:54 We wanna get on
00:26:57 - What?
00:27:00 Wow, you know,
00:27:04 - Shut up!
00:27:07 - Shut up!
00:27:09 Let's just walk through this, okay?
00:27:13 Yeah.
00:27:15 Okay, so which way was the arrow pointing?
00:27:19 That was an hour ago. That witch
00:27:23 She even had her baby screaming at us.
00:27:26 Let me try this:
00:27:29 - Not today.
00:27:33 Can you tell us anything?
00:27:34 The names of a street, any street?
00:27:37 - The directions: North, south?
00:27:40 Honey, babe.
00:27:43 - You've got a gun. Shoot them.
00:27:46 I'd need some kind of permit, wouldn't I?
00:27:49 Thanks, guys. You could've given us help,
00:27:53 Hey, that's what we're here for, right?
00:27:59 I'm glad this happened.
00:28:00 It's another little reminder
00:28:03 You know what their problem is?
00:28:08 But we don't. Not anymore.
00:28:10 How hot does this baby burn?
00:28:15 Anybody find a watch out there?
00:28:18 - Did you send men into the sewer?
00:28:22 - How much time was wasted in the sewer?
00:28:39 Take the hostages' statements in the bus.
00:28:48 Oh, we're really making progress now.
00:28:51 I saw a sign, Phyllis.
00:29:09 If we could just find a landmark.
00:29:21 Ask this guy.
00:29:28 Excuse me. Sir?
00:29:32 Sir? Excuse me.
00:30:19 It's bad luck just seeing
00:30:30 Things are going to hell, aren't they?
00:30:32 It's just a couple guys
00:30:35 - We're gonna find a familiar street soon.
00:30:40 I think we're near John Philip Sousa.
00:30:43 That was our junior high school.
00:30:46 Not unless there's been an H-bomb mishap
00:30:57 Can you help us find the BQE?
00:31:00 Glad to. Got a map right here
00:31:13 Wait a minute.
00:31:16 - So?
00:31:19 Probably a serial killer.
00:31:21 Maybe he's just from out of town.
00:31:25 - He is. He's got Iowa plates.
00:31:35 - Where was the Clutter family from?
00:31:38 Just checking.
00:31:39 Say, the bank was really beautiful,
00:31:46 It sure was, Grimm.
00:31:55 Hey, Phyllis.
00:31:56 Grimm needs a little reassuring.
00:31:59 No, he doesn't.
00:32:02 He's complete now.
00:32:04 - There you are.
00:32:09 Hey, is everybody this nice in Iowa?
00:32:11 - Iowa?
00:32:14 That's a stolen car.
00:32:17 Grimm doesn't seem any different,
00:32:20 Well, yesterday, he was just a guy working
00:32:25 And today,
00:32:29 Thank you, Loomis.
00:32:34 - This is a fucking nightmare.
00:32:38 Shut up.
00:32:41 This must be my lucky day.
00:32:44 You got some real money here.
00:32:50 Four dollars.
00:32:53 Well, I couldn't get to the bank today.
00:32:56 Let me give you this watch.
00:32:58 It's worth $ 12,ooo.
00:33:00 He ended up giving it to me for 3oo.
00:33:02 God, are you a sucker.
00:33:17 Thanks. Bye-bye.
00:33:26 Oh, sir, you forgot your map.
00:33:28 And our million dollars.
00:33:33 - Was it Dubuque?
00:33:36 - Now can we go to the airport?
00:33:41 Flatbush is 15 minutes from here.
00:33:43 We'll stop at Woolworth's.
00:33:46 If Einstein here hadn't honked
00:33:48 ...we could've changed clothes
00:33:51 - It was an accident, Phyllis.
00:33:54 But Loomis didn't irradiate anybody.
00:34:02 - Grimm, make her stop.
00:34:04 When I hit you, start worrying.
00:34:06 What are you hitting him for
00:34:09 - What are you talking about?
00:34:15 Okay, yeah.
00:34:17 L... I was trying to tell you something...
00:34:19 Shouldn't we be going?
00:34:23 All right, let's go. Come on.
00:34:25 - All right. Straight ahead.
00:34:27 I'm glad the son of a bitch robbed us.
00:34:30 It's just another reminder of how happy
00:34:34 But not Woolworth's. You said
00:34:38 Go to my apartment.
00:34:41 Right, that's better, it's closer.
00:34:46 Men's clothes. Whose?
00:34:48 Barry Meyers. I mentioned him.
00:34:51 A guy I should have married.
00:35:04 Come off it, pal.
00:35:07 Thank you for getting us out alive.
00:35:09 The owners of the bank
00:35:11 ...not to expect
00:35:15 I think they're gonna kill you
00:35:17 They say if the clown gets away...
00:35:19 ...they owe it to their shareholders
00:35:24 ...of this whole thing
00:35:26 How many shareholders are there?
00:35:29 Just the three, I think.
00:35:32 - We really appreciate it.
00:35:38 Oh, my God. Now this one's going.
00:35:42 Tear them down no matter
00:35:44 Chief.
00:35:46 The Peruvian Connection.
00:35:48 The Subway Psycho.
00:35:50 People are gonna remember
00:35:53 What's memorable about a clown
00:35:59 Jesus, we gotta get this guy.
00:36:05 Look at this.
00:36:11 Why do they have to do this?
00:36:16 Well, what do I care.
00:36:19 Hey, Grimm, you tried.
00:36:22 Caring, faithful, concerned.
00:36:26 Aren't you?
00:36:28 - Phyllis, where do you park?
00:36:31 The hydrant?
00:36:33 I'll pay the ticket.
00:36:35 I can't believe the new tenants
00:36:38 - They're not supposed to move till Tuesday.
00:36:46 - Give me your sleeve.
00:36:48 We'll miss the complimentary beverage.
00:36:50 Do you want to stand out at the airport?
00:36:53 Pituitary problem?
00:36:55 Hey, look at this, guys.
00:36:58 Get yourself three.
00:37:00 It sure would be less itchy
00:37:03 So we could just carry the dough
00:37:05 Those darn terrorists who made it tough
00:37:10 It's a pretty nice jacket.
00:37:12 Why did Barry leave this behind,
00:37:15 Too rich to care.
00:37:16 There's smoke across the street.
00:37:18 How did he make his money, anyway?
00:37:22 It's black smoke.
00:37:24 Mafia kingpin? Amway?
00:37:28 Pimp?
00:37:30 - Oh, no.
00:37:32 - No, fire engine.
00:37:36 - Keys.
00:37:37 Grimm.
00:37:48 - Get your hands up.
00:37:52 Get them up!
00:37:54 Mr. Edison, I'm Phyllis Potter,
00:37:57 We were ripped off in the Village.
00:38:00 Do we look like criminals?
00:38:01 Do we look like people that are
00:38:05 I only know what I saw.
00:38:06 When my wife gets here, she'll call the cops.
00:38:11 Okay, but it's still our apartment.
00:38:15 Oh, Jesus.
00:38:16 Grimm, our plane takes off in 41 minutes.
00:38:19 Quiet. No codes.
00:38:22 Hey, honey. Ready to celebrate?
00:38:26 - Oh, my God.
00:38:30 I was touching it. Kill me.
00:38:32 - Turn around.
00:38:35 For once, it was gonna be fun.
00:38:37 We were gonna eat on the floor,
00:38:41 Why are you blaming me?
00:38:43 We haven't even moved the bed in,
00:38:47 Give credit where it's due,
00:38:49 Hal made the commitment, didn't he?
00:38:53 - Do you know him?
00:38:57 Fifteen hundred? Try 26oo.
00:39:01 You... You weren't paying 15oo,
00:39:04 - We were paying 126o.
00:39:08 Excuse me, I don't know you very well,
00:39:12 Maybe we are crazy.
00:39:14 We bought a farmhouse, near Woodstock.
00:39:17 It's rustic, kind of a fixer.
00:39:20 But the payments are 3oo a month.
00:39:23 We just had to try.
00:39:29 I suppose you don't believe that either,
00:39:33 For your information, I was at Woodstock.
00:39:38 I don't judge you, Hal.
00:39:40 Really, I don't.
00:39:42 But from Woodstock
00:39:47 Good one.
00:39:52 Look.
00:39:55 Grab it.
00:39:58 Oh, damn it.
00:40:15 You can shoot us now.
00:40:17 I've put the gun down.
00:40:20 No hard feelings?
00:40:24 These are the names and numbers
00:40:28 "Clown seemed harmless until
00:40:32 Yes, sir. Apparently, he made
00:40:38 I don't see her.
00:40:40 - Don't see who?
00:40:46 I was talking to her myself
00:40:48 - All the hostages are here.
00:40:51 No. Where's the whiny guy?
00:40:54 "He's an animal."
00:40:56 The one that came out with her.
00:40:58 They were the second and third ones out.
00:41:04 Oh, Jesus.
00:41:10 The lumberjack guy...
00:41:12 - In all that chaos, a few wandered away...
00:41:15 - But we got everybody's name and number.
00:41:19 Yeah, get me the news footage on those
00:41:24 I said, "It's all over, Chuckles."
00:41:26 And wrestled him. But he got a gal
00:41:29 That's when he coldcocked me.
00:41:32 Look at this video so we can
00:41:35 - Robbers, plural?
00:41:38 Three of them there, shouting with glee.
00:41:40 - Taxi!
00:41:42 - Please!
00:41:45 And a blowjob!
00:41:50 - Can we just calm down.
00:41:53 We'll have to sail a raft to Fiji
00:41:56 I have made another reservation
00:42:00 - You never mentioned an 11:oo flight.
00:42:04 But I don't know anything
00:42:07 What did you know about Fiji?
00:42:09 Nothing, really.
00:42:11 Okay.
00:42:14 Did you book another flight after that?
00:42:16 Let's just try to make the 11:oo, okay?
00:42:18 Why, do they know about us yet?
00:42:21 Well, by now, Rotzinger has probably
00:42:26 Oh, Grimm.
00:42:28 Grimm, I cannot go to prison.
00:42:31 Don't worry about it. We were disguised.
00:42:34 - Taxi!
00:42:36 You never mentioned Martinique.
00:42:39 What else haven't you mentioned?
00:42:41 - Everything you told me is a lie, isn't it?
00:42:44 Am l...? You think this is fun,
00:42:48 No, I think it's a lot more exciting
00:42:50 You used to think so too.
00:42:53 ...unless there was a bedroom close by.
00:42:57 What am I?
00:42:59 You're a world-class bank robber,
00:43:03 - And Loomis thinks so too.
00:43:06 Taxi.
00:43:08 Look, I don't know where this
00:43:12 Okay, I did rob a bank, but so did you.
00:43:15 Isn't that what we planned for six months
00:43:18 And now if... When we get a cab...
00:43:21 ...we can complete the plan and live out
00:43:43 Please, God! We need a cab!
00:43:47 One lousy, fucking cab!
00:44:04 Yes!
00:44:12 To the airport, please.
00:44:14 All right, let's take another call.
00:44:18 - What's on your mind tonight?
00:44:22 - What about it?
00:44:25 I mean, he had a great sense of humor.
00:44:27 He wasn't another junkie
00:44:30 - He was okay.
00:44:33 I say, hang the clown, then pull his pants
00:44:37 How could he say a thing like that?
00:44:47 - He's asking, "Where to?"
00:44:50 He just means which airport, that's all.
00:44:58 - I'm sorry I got so crazy.
00:45:02 Oh, nothing. No, he's completely loyal
00:45:05 Kind of like father and son, huh?
00:45:08 You didn't mention Rotzinger or Martinique
00:45:13 ...and you didn't wanna worry me
00:45:18 I know I've been especially moody.
00:45:21 Not so as you'd notice.
00:45:24 And I know it's not exactly
00:45:28 ...a lot of attention
00:45:32 But you see...
00:45:35 Jesus. The goddamn airport!
00:45:38 What, do you got shit in your ears?
00:45:42 All right, easy.
00:45:45 Friend...
00:45:47 Kennedy. Here, look.
00:45:49 Kennedy Airport. Look.
00:45:54 Yeah, he's got it.
00:45:55 Oh, great. Why don't you take us
00:45:59 - Please don't say that. You'll upset Loomis.
00:46:14 It's red. Stop!
00:46:17 Stop!
00:46:18 You don't even understand colors,
00:46:21 You don't know red from hell!
00:46:26 There's a real cab up there. Stop!
00:46:28 - Taxi!
00:46:41 - That guy must have wanted a paper bad.
00:46:44 Loomis. Loomis.
00:46:46 Hey, Linda, hurry up,
00:46:49 You hear me? It's a dead man.
00:46:53 Thirty-eight eighty-two.
00:46:55 Send a squad car now!
00:46:58 Looks like he's bleeding.
00:47:00 Loomis.
00:47:02 Loomis.
00:47:05 I really liked him. I did.
00:47:36 So I says to him, "Are you gonna behave?"
00:47:41 I think it was a bowie knife,
00:47:44 Dennis, the news footage
00:47:47 I wanted it an hour ago.
00:47:53 Where'd you get this, a matchbook?
00:47:55 It's perfect, if you wanna pick up
00:47:58 It's based, in part,
00:48:00 That clown was no clown.
00:48:03 Knew we'd be too obsessed...
00:48:06 ...by the perpetrator inside the bank...
00:48:08 ...to see much more than a beard or a blond
00:48:13 Involving two men and a woman,
00:48:15 19oo hours, a car containing two men
00:48:19 - The passengers fled before we got there.
00:48:23 That's it involving two men
00:48:25 Two more liquor stores and a Laundromat
00:48:32 You realize they're probably
00:48:35 Yes, sir. Someplace nice.
00:48:37 All we've got going for us is the city.
00:48:41 Our only hope is that they're mired down in
00:48:46 Why do I still want this fucking job?
00:48:49 Can't I imagine a more inspired destiny
00:48:52 Sir, don't talk like that.
00:48:53 Here's another one. A man jumped from
00:48:57 There were two other passengers in the car,
00:49:01 He jumped from a moving cab.
00:49:04 That's panic.
00:49:05 That's somebody on the lam.
00:49:08 Goddamn, if that doesn't sound like
00:49:11 - When was that?
00:49:14 - We're not even on the scene yet, sir.
00:49:17 It's them.
00:49:20 Send all nearby units to the scene.
00:49:29 Loomis.
00:49:32 Loomis.
00:49:38 Did we get the cab?
00:49:42 Are you gonna hit me now?
00:49:44 No, but if your leg is broken,
00:49:48 Can you get up now, pal?
00:49:53 Too bad. It looked fierce.
00:49:56 Count from 1 o backwards.
00:49:58 Ten.
00:50:00 That's great. Forget it, that's enough.
00:50:02 Nine, eight...
00:50:06 ...seven...
00:50:33 - Come on, relax.
00:50:37 - Gun, the gun.
00:50:40 Oh, nice. Professor Henry Higgins
00:50:45 We're gonna go in here.
00:50:59 This ain't my dick in your back.
00:51:03 That's a relief.
00:51:08 We came...
00:51:11 ...about the money.
00:51:14 What's that walking corpse say?
00:51:17 He said they come about the money.
00:51:20 Ask him what money, asshole.
00:51:22 What money, asshole?
00:51:26 Incredible. They're playing games.
00:51:28 Yeah.
00:51:30 Tell him you're gonna play games
00:51:33 I'm gonna play games
00:51:36 You must hate this warehouse.
00:51:38 Because it's gonna be a three-alarm job
00:51:42 Johnny. Come here.
00:51:47 Come here.
00:51:50 What?
00:51:53 What the hell are you doing?
00:51:55 I have no idea.
00:51:57 I don't know.
00:52:00 - Go ask him.
00:52:08 Mr. Skelton wants to know
00:52:12 - Because I'm new.
00:52:15 Tell him Lombino didn't say nothing
00:52:20 - Lombino didn't say nothing...
00:52:25 Mr. Lombino!
00:52:26 Since when does a wiseguy like you
00:52:32 ...like Mr. Lombino?
00:52:33 Mr. Lombino didn't say nothing
00:52:37 ...about no new...
00:52:40 - Don't you see me standing right here?
00:52:43 All right.
00:52:45 What happened to Mario?
00:52:47 Mario.
00:52:50 Somebody dared him.
00:52:52 So he threw Earl here
00:52:56 Same spot he done Johnny.
00:52:59 - He must love that spot.
00:53:03 All right. I'll give you the money.
00:53:06 Soon as I call Lom...
00:53:08 Mr. Lombino.
00:53:10 To check you out.
00:53:14 Fine. Actually, perfect.
00:53:19 I can hear Mr. Lombino now:
00:53:20 "Skelton just called me to check on Chip."
00:53:24 Mr. Lombino, please. Skelton.
00:53:28 "I guess Chip wasn't so hot.
00:53:29 Guess I'll have to put that animal Mario
00:53:35 No. Wait. Uncle Mike. Uncle Mike.
00:53:37 Mr. Skelton. No, wait a minute. We don't
00:53:42 ...with stupid sunglasses,
00:53:45 Nobody's stupid enough to do this
00:53:48 They gotta know Mario's gonna
00:53:52 I think that I might be right on this
00:54:02 Six thousand. Short shipment.
00:54:04 Thanks. Come on, Earl.
00:54:07 You know, when I first heard the rumors
00:54:11 ...I said, "No way." The man
00:54:15 But now that I see you,
00:54:18 He's come to put his house in order.
00:54:21 And that's why the man is king.
00:54:23 Drugs, protection, you name it.
00:54:29 - Tell him I said so.
00:54:31 Anything Lombino touches turns to gold.
00:54:33 King Lombino.
00:54:37 - Tell him I said so.
00:54:39 See you later. Take care of your head.
00:54:42 Grimm, baby, I never thought
00:54:45 Oh, honey.
00:54:47 Phyllis is back.
00:54:49 You just ripped off the Mob.
00:54:52 You were born for this.
00:54:54 Oh, Grimm. It must be in your genes.
00:54:58 This is lucky. Let's make this.
00:55:05 I can make it. I can make it.
00:55:11 I can't make it.
00:55:13 I can't...
00:55:18 okay, I can make it.
00:55:31 What's that smell?
00:55:33 Used wine. Do you go to the airport?
00:55:35 - Near the airport.
00:55:39 You have exact change, right?
00:55:41 Give him $ 1 oo.
00:55:45 Hurry.
00:55:46 Hurry.
00:55:49 That isn't exact change.
00:55:51 Have you looked back there?
00:55:55 I look back there every night.
00:55:57 That's why I conduct my own affairs
00:56:00 I leave this stop in one minute
00:56:03 Exact change, or off.
00:56:06 All right. Give me a minute.
00:56:09 I'll give you a minute and 28 seconds.
00:56:16 Loomis. Can't you kneel?
00:56:18 No. I can sit.
00:56:20 You can't sit. Not till you pay the fare.
00:56:30 - I'm sorry.
00:56:32 - I'm sorry. I was going the wrong way.
00:56:42 - I just need some change.
00:56:45 You have to buy something, anyway.
00:56:54 Fifty-two seconds.
00:57:04 Ninety-eight sixty-two.
00:57:06 Oh, and I need a can of Maxwell House.
00:57:09 No, no. The decaf, over there.
00:57:13 There it is.
00:57:26 Yeah, that's it.
00:57:36 Oh, no.
00:57:38 No, no, no.
00:57:44 Oh, you're awfully sweet to do this.
00:57:47 I can do.
00:58:03 He ain't gonna make it.
00:58:09 Twenty-six seconds.
00:58:28 - Get the hell out of here!
00:58:30 How about this guy?
00:58:31 Oh, I can't look!
00:58:33 I don't know. That's him right there!
00:58:38 You son of a bitch!
00:58:41 - That's it.
00:58:50 Close the door.
00:58:53 The guy's a thief!
00:58:55 - Close the door. Let's go.
00:58:58 He stole...!
00:59:05 - I got him.
00:59:08 He jumped from the cab?
00:59:10 My boss'll have your job!
00:59:15 - Unbelievable.
00:59:17 Mario Monetti,
00:59:20 Lombino? He's in Nevada, right?
00:59:22 Yeah, supposedly somewhere in Nevada.
00:59:25 He got out just as I was about
00:59:28 Still takes more out of this town in a day
00:59:33 You're sure that's the guy
00:59:36 The cabbie ID'd him, sir.
00:59:47 Come on.
00:59:52 May I ask you a question?
00:59:59 - Get behind the white line.
01:00:05 My mom used to do this.
01:00:08 Just like this.
01:00:14 You should have a kid, Phyllis.
01:00:17 Funny you should say that.
01:00:25 Really?
01:00:27 Sit back.
01:00:29 - Well, Grimm didn't tell me.
01:00:32 I didn't want to tell him
01:00:35 Well, tell him now.
01:00:38 I'm not gonna tell him at all.
01:00:42 Don't you love him?
01:00:51 My sister always told me...
01:00:54 ...there's the type of guy
01:00:57 ...and there's the type you marry.
01:00:59 Because if he's that exciting,
01:01:03 But I told her, you can have both.
01:01:07 And when I met Grimm,
01:01:09 But there's a limit. I mean,
01:01:14 He's born for this.
01:01:15 I'm just one of his gang now.
01:01:18 Oh, God. Something I said,
01:01:24 Oh, this is all my fault.
01:01:26 Oh, no. Come here.
01:01:32 Nothing's your fault.
01:01:35 Except you honked the fucking horn.
01:01:39 - When you say "near the airport"...?
01:01:42 - All right. When do we get there?
01:01:45 - When is that in human time?
01:01:48 - Say you had to walk it.
01:01:51 - I can't give you a precise figure.
01:01:54 - Twenty-one minutes.
01:01:58 This isn't my usual route.
01:02:02 - You're gonna even that out, aren't you?
01:02:11 What'd he say?
01:02:13 His estimate, which I accept, gets us
01:02:18 Nine minutes?
01:02:22 How come I've heard that name
01:02:25 You remember this guy.
01:02:26 He shot out his brother's eyeball over
01:02:30 I can't believe our luck,
01:02:34 His place?
01:02:36 You've walked into his places
01:02:40 He owns restaurants, bars, supermarkets.
01:02:43 The man owns preschools in this town.
01:02:49 Do you work for the clown
01:02:52 Does the clown work for Lombino too?
01:02:54 What clown?
01:02:56 Very convincing, Monetti.
01:02:58 I guess we should apologize
01:03:00 Yeah, right.
01:03:02 Get over there, scumbag.
01:03:08 He's in on it, sir.
01:03:11 You idiot. This man doesn't speak
01:03:14 Come on... Here. Relax, fella. Sit down.
01:03:19 Didn't I tell you to get me
01:03:22 I thought you said "interrogator."
01:03:27 That's all he says.
01:03:28 Come on. Give me the keys to the cuffs.
01:03:33 Probably left your own country to escape
01:03:37 Damn it. Get me an interpreter.
01:03:39 Don't you realize the robbers told
01:03:43 Even if they did, sir,
01:03:46 - I don't even know what language he talks.
01:03:52 Here, fella. Drink that.
01:03:55 All right.
01:04:00 Who was the clown? Tell me now.
01:04:02 What the hell is this, Rotzinger?
01:04:04 Since when is it illegal to run for a bus?
01:04:11 - A bus?
01:04:14 Since when is that a crime? A bus.
01:04:33 They're on a "blufftoney."
01:04:48 I don't have time for this.
01:04:50 Driver, I'm a little disappointed in you!
01:05:00 He wasn't really awake.
01:05:02 Don't you think we should
01:05:06 By the way...
01:05:08 ...how do you feel about kids?
01:05:10 How can you ask me that now?
01:05:12 I'm sorry.
01:05:16 I happen to think the slammer
01:05:19 Don't pop a stitch.
01:05:22 - Near the airport.
01:05:25 - Except blurt out a total confession.
01:05:29 Come on. Relax.
01:05:31 We're home free.
01:05:34 Grimm...
01:05:36 ...I'm not coming with you.
01:05:40 What?
01:05:43 Jesus!
01:05:49 No. No, son.
01:05:52 - You poor son of a bitch. Come here.
01:05:55 Come on. I got a schedule to keep.
01:05:57 - What can I do to help?
01:06:00 - Listen, I'll pay his fare.
01:06:02 - You have exact change?
01:06:04 - You've become Ralph Kramden's evil twin.
01:06:07 - Come on, son. Come on.
01:06:09 There's $6ooo here. Okay? It's real. I know
01:06:14 - It is appalling.
01:06:16 Take this and start a new life for yourself.
01:06:21 Come on! You're gonna break your guitar.
01:06:23 There you go. Come on.
01:06:25 We got a schedule. Come on.
01:06:30 We will quietly pull over and board
01:06:33 We do not want another
01:06:48 Is this the kind of person that you are?
01:06:50 We lose a little time, and all of a sudden
01:06:54 Yeah, that's me.
01:06:57 Well, if you stay behind,
01:07:00 I'll take my chances.
01:07:02 Why don't you tell me what I've done?
01:07:06 I just want you to leave me alone.
01:07:09 Move it! Today!
01:07:25 However, I will stay with you
01:07:44 The thing is, Loomis,
01:07:46 Do you think you can walk any faster?
01:07:48 I'm sorry, Grimm.
01:07:50 I can't.
01:07:53 - You're not gonna hit me again, are you?
01:07:57 - Again? I haven't hit anybody since I was 9.
01:08:01 You threatened him,
01:08:04 Oh, are you still here?
01:08:05 Just promise him.
01:08:07 I promise.
01:08:26 - Was that our plane?
01:08:29 If it were our plane, it'd be crashing.
01:08:32 Where is the airport?
01:08:35 How far?
01:08:51 There must be a lot of competition
01:08:53 Man, thank God she's not
01:08:56 What does it mean anyway, Grimm?
01:09:00 I sure couldn't tell you.
01:09:02 You know, Grimm.
01:09:07 Oh, God!
01:09:11 We're all gonna die!
01:09:16 We're all gonna die!
01:09:18 Give him a moment.
01:09:40 Wait a minute. Phyllis can't ride
01:09:52 Hold on to your transfer to reboard.
01:09:54 Hold on to your transfer to reboard.
01:09:57 Hold on to your transfer to reboard.
01:09:59 Move right along.
01:10:03 - There you go. Move along.
01:10:06 - Why, you got something?
01:10:18 We're going to the airport.
01:10:21 Need him to make an ID.
01:10:35 - You mean you weren't even gonna tell me?
01:10:39 But when? Before the bank?
01:10:41 Just to add some pressure?
01:10:43 And what about after?
01:10:45 I tried to tell you several times...
01:10:47 ...but you were too busy being complete.
01:10:50 Grimm, I gotta get this money
01:10:53 We'll get you a duffel bag or something
01:10:59 How many months?
01:11:02 Phyllis, please.
01:11:05 - They haven't boarded yet.
01:11:07 That means they'll pass the metal detectors.
01:11:11 I'll make the arrest onboard, quietly and
01:11:15 - It's my baby too!
01:11:20 I've got trained anti-terrorist squads
01:11:23 ...with this kind of thing.
01:11:26 Frankly...
01:11:28 ...I need it, after today.
01:11:30 - Thank you, Roy.
01:11:33 Roy's gonna get us the duffel bag...
01:11:35 ...a wheelchair and skis out of lost luggage
01:11:38 - You give him a couple of bucks?
01:11:41 Scary, but Roy's sixth sense told him
01:11:44 ESP exists, Grimm. They proved it.
01:11:47 You picking up anything from me right now?
01:11:51 Am I gonna see you in there?
01:11:52 I'll make sure the Amazing Kreskin
01:11:55 Good.
01:11:58 Now what?
01:12:02 Hey, clown!
01:12:06 Get the hell back in line.
01:12:08 I just have one question.
01:12:11 Is there a problem, sir?
01:12:13 - Too many passengers, I'm afraid.
01:12:16 Nobody does this to Russ Crane.
01:12:18 Nobody does this to Mrs. Russ Crane,
01:12:23 What's the matter with you,
01:12:26 Right through there.
01:12:28 - Name, please?
01:12:30 Yes. Grimm.
01:13:03 The cops are looking for two men
01:13:06 Okay. I'll say goodbye now.
01:13:09 - Are you crazy?
01:13:12 - What did I do tonight that you didn't?
01:13:16 That bank was just a springboard for you.
01:13:21 ...you bribed Roy, you totally demoralized
01:13:26 You stole that watch.
01:13:27 I bought it, and the Edisons will have
01:13:33 Whatever I did, I did it so that
01:13:37 Do you think I should just
01:13:40 I just think you're not gonna
01:13:43 I'm not! I'm going to Martinique
01:13:47 ...unless you keep screwing around,
01:13:52 - Grimm, I'm thinking of the baby!
01:13:55 Foster families are great, unless you
01:13:59 He can visit you. You can show him
01:14:02 Thank God you're reaching out
01:14:06 ...instead of just trying to scare me.
01:14:08 It's all I have time for.
01:14:11 Now, one of us has to take Loomis
01:14:15 The men's room, Grimm.
01:14:18 I'll freak out if I don't get
01:14:21 Oh, shit.
01:14:25 Meet me on the plane
01:14:31 Please?
01:14:46 You were hard on her.
01:14:47 It was the only way to make sure
01:14:50 Maybe you should've told her you loved her.
01:14:55 Oh, Jesus, Loomis.
01:14:57 Now you tell me.
01:15:07 All right. Just once more.
01:15:09 - No.
01:15:11 - Ready? I'll go real fast. Please?
01:15:14 Yeah. Come on. Now!
01:15:21 All right. Attaboy.
01:15:24 Now help me zip this up.
01:15:26 You people can keep this city!
01:15:41 - Hi.
01:15:43 Oh, you must be from around here.
01:15:59 We'll just go
01:16:02 Right, Grimm.
01:16:05 Oh, this was not my idea.
01:16:08 This was not the plan.
01:16:11 I'm sorry, Grimm.
01:16:24 - Give me three minutes before you come in.
01:16:27 You go. Just promise me you'll see
01:16:31 No. We were all gonna go together.
01:16:35 Hey, you two with the mileage upgrades,
01:16:40 You believe the filth they let into first?
01:16:43 Do you mind?
01:16:45 Come here, Loomis.
01:16:47 Look at you. I mean,
01:16:50 When I find Phyllis...
01:16:53 - lf I find Phyllis...
01:16:56 You goddamn straphangers are ruining
01:17:02 You okay, baby?
01:17:04 Your bloody mary's not too spicy, is it?
01:17:09 That's my girl.
01:17:13 See you soon. Get a tan.
01:17:15 Moisturize before you peel.
01:17:18 Wait, Grimm.
01:17:20 We can find her together.
01:17:25 Oh, look.
01:17:27 It's...
01:17:28 I hate to do this to you, babe.
01:17:32 - Save yourself the disgrace, Lombino.
01:17:35 Vince, you fucking worm!
01:17:37 - He's come for the king.
01:17:39 Even if you get past me,
01:17:46 All right, Rotzinger. My turn!
01:17:51 Still got another minute.
01:18:00 As we prepare for departure,
01:18:04 You rat! You creep!
01:18:07 Can you hit him with something else?
01:18:14 Thank God!
01:18:19 I did it with Mario, Vinnie.
01:18:21 When you were playing cards
01:18:25 Nobody does that to Mrs. Russ Crane.
01:18:29 Quit making him angry!
01:18:32 It's thicker, Vinnie. It's thicker than
01:18:47 Phyllis.
01:18:56 Phyllis, they just caught this guy.
01:18:58 Give me that goddamn...
01:19:01 Vince Lombino, a.k.a. Russ Crane...
01:19:04 ...you're under arrest for murder
01:19:08 ...arson, pandering, sale of weapons,
01:19:12 ...blackmail...
01:19:21 Mario, how come you squealed,
01:19:23 Screw you.
01:19:32 That's him.
01:19:39 Don't matter what he's saying.
01:19:42 - He's just along for the ride. Come on!
01:19:44 - Angel!
01:19:46 - Is Mrs. Lombino okay up there?
01:19:49 Angie! I love you, baby!
01:19:52 I love you!
01:19:55 I love you, Angie!
01:19:57 Hey, hold it, my friend.
01:20:03 Thanks for the assist.
01:20:05 - No problem.
01:20:08 What's your name and address?
01:20:10 Oh, that's great.
01:20:12 - Dan...
01:20:13 ...Chipowski.
01:20:15 S-K-I...
01:20:16 ...ending.
01:20:18 And it's 111 Astoria Boulevard,
01:20:23 ...111 o1.
01:20:27 Okay, Dan. Wish there were
01:20:31 Don't say that.
01:20:33 Come on, James.
01:20:50 Hey, it's Rotzinger!
01:20:53 - Are you running for mayor?
01:20:57 - Who the hell called these guys?
01:21:04 Hey, remember, we gotta
01:21:07 I mean, Chipowski.
01:24:50 [ENGLISH]