Robodoc
|
00:02:43 |
Hey, can you help me? |
00:02:45 |
I need a doctor. |
00:02:47 |
No, my friend, |
00:02:48 |
you need a lawyer. |
00:02:52 |
Call me. |
00:02:56 |
Hey! |
00:03:40 |
Good morning, boys. |
00:03:43 |
Looks like you lost your patient again. |
00:04:06 |
Do I have to separate you two? |
00:04:08 |
Stop it! Stop it! |
00:04:10 |
Stop it! |
00:04:16 |
Wait your turn. |
00:04:18 |
Don't you know everybody |
00:04:21 |
Go take a seat. |
00:04:28 |
Do you have an insurance card? |
00:04:29 |
No. |
00:04:30 |
Take a seat over there, |
00:04:33 |
Where? |
00:04:36 |
Over there. |
00:04:39 |
Sir. |
00:04:40 |
Your eyeball. |
00:04:44 |
Next. |
00:04:45 |
Hey, that's you buddy. |
00:04:49 |
Guess that's me. |
00:04:52 |
I've got this incredibly painful paper cut. |
00:04:55 |
Do you have an insurance card? |
00:04:57 |
Yes, I do. |
00:05:04 |
Code Green! Code Green! |
00:05:09 |
Oh, my goodness! |
00:05:12 |
Nice booty! |
00:05:14 |
Thank you. |
00:05:16 |
Thank you! |
00:05:22 |
Great, on top of everything else, |
00:05:26 |
Hey! |
00:05:27 |
Do I have to see all these patients by myself? |
00:05:30 |
They're at a meeting |
00:05:33 |
Didn't you get the memo? |
00:05:34 |
No, there's nothing in my box. |
00:05:36 |
I sent it to you by email. |
00:05:38 |
Email, yes, damn computers. |
00:05:41 |
Look, find the technology |
00:05:47 |
Dr. Callaby, to the E.R., stat. |
00:05:51 |
Dr. Callaby, to the E.R., stat. |
00:05:55 |
Oh, too bad, so sad. |
00:05:59 |
Just started this round, |
00:06:04 |
Hey, how nice of you all to join me. |
00:06:07 |
Dr. Murphy, you take the clown in room 5. |
00:06:10 |
Dr. Keefe, you take the headache in room 7. |
00:06:12 |
He's got a headache? |
00:06:13 |
No, he is a headache. |
00:06:15 |
Bonacasa, the mime in |
00:06:19 |
- What's wrong with the mime? |
00:06:22 |
Go, go, go! |
00:06:25 |
Nurse Nancy, if you'd be good enough |
00:06:28 |
You should be paging |
00:06:31 |
and I want Dr. Mills down here |
00:06:34 |
Can't pay your electric bill? |
00:06:38 |
Sue your doctor. |
00:06:40 |
I'm Jake Gorman, |
00:06:47 |
Rat bastard. |
00:06:53 |
Mr. Jenkins? What seems to be |
00:06:57 |
Now, wait a minute. |
00:06:59 |
I don't want some snot-nosed punk |
00:07:02 |
telling me he's my doctor. |
00:07:05 |
I am a real doctor, okay? |
00:07:12 |
Is there a problem here? |
00:07:14 |
No, no problem. |
00:07:16 |
You're damned right there's a problem. |
00:07:17 |
I've been waiting for two hours |
00:07:20 |
One with hair on his pee-pee. |
00:07:22 |
I know my rights. |
00:07:23 |
I'm going to call my lawyer. |
00:07:25 |
I'm Dr. Roskin, Chief of Staff. |
00:07:27 |
I've been running this E.R. |
00:07:30 |
On the pee-pee hair front, |
00:07:32 |
I boast a rather generous |
00:07:36 |
much of it a well-earned gray. |
00:07:37 |
May I see the chart, please? |
00:07:40 |
I see that you've never been vaccinated |
00:07:44 |
Dengue fever, malaria, |
00:07:48 |
No, that's okay, doc. |
00:07:52 |
Well, medically I'm sure you're right, |
00:07:55 |
but the lawyer you said you would be calling |
00:07:57 |
would call me negligent |
00:07:59 |
so, Nurse Helga, please, |
00:08:03 |
- Thank you. |
00:08:17 |
- Dr. Murphy? |
00:08:19 |
There's a patient here who insists |
00:08:22 |
Okay, thanks. |
00:08:25 |
Oh! |
00:08:26 |
Thank you very much. |
00:08:33 |
Dr. Murphy? |
00:08:34 |
- Yes? |
00:08:36 |
Oh! This is from Jake Gorman's office. |
00:08:38 |
You've been served. |
00:08:40 |
Have a nice day, doc. |
00:08:42 |
Damn. That's the third malpractice suit |
00:08:49 |
I don't think that hip is broken at all. |
00:08:51 |
Let's try standing. There. |
00:08:53 |
Yes, good, okay. |
00:08:54 |
- We'll walk a little... |
00:08:55 |
Dr. Murphy. |
00:08:57 |
I try to help these upstanding citizens, |
00:09:00 |
By suing me every chance they get. |
00:09:03 |
Now Bradley, please, don't leave me now. |
00:09:06 |
I'm begging you. |
00:09:08 |
They're going to have to get better |
00:09:11 |
I'm finished. I'm done. |
00:09:12 |
Finito. Gone. Hasta la bye-bye. |
00:09:15 |
Game over. |
00:09:17 |
See this? |
00:09:29 |
Now if you'll excuse me, |
00:09:31 |
I have a clown to kill. |
00:09:36 |
That's it! I need an administrator! |
00:09:39 |
Get Buttkiss down here now! |
00:09:41 |
Mr. Abrams, I'm Gene Buttkiss. |
00:09:44 |
I'm the Chief Administrator |
00:09:47 |
Your health is very important |
00:09:50 |
It sure is. |
00:09:51 |
And what would you say it would be worth |
00:09:57 |
Well, you can't put a price on health. |
00:09:59 |
- Try. |
00:10:01 |
Oh, a million dollars! I like that! |
00:10:03 |
And how much are you |
00:10:06 |
Well, I have no money. |
00:10:08 |
I have no insurance. |
00:10:09 |
Oh! No money? Oh, I see. |
00:10:12 |
So, for a million dollars' worth of service, |
00:10:16 |
I don't know, for argument's sake |
00:10:20 |
Zip! Nada! Goose egg! |
00:10:23 |
You are outta here! |
00:10:32 |
I don't know about you, but I feel better. |
00:10:38 |
- Buttkiss! |
00:10:40 |
Murphy quit. I need more doctors. |
00:10:42 |
More doctors, right, sure, |
00:10:46 |
I mean it, I don't care where they come |
00:10:49 |
Alright Richard, I'll call corporate headquarters. |
00:10:51 |
But until then, |
00:10:54 |
Don't hold your breath. |
00:11:05 |
Thanks for calling RIP, |
00:11:07 |
How can I help you? |
00:11:09 |
Hello? |
00:11:11 |
Hello? |
00:11:15 |
Make it quick. |
00:11:16 |
Uh, yeah. Sorry to bother you sir, |
00:11:19 |
Bothering me is your job, |
00:11:20 |
Buttkiss, and you do it very well. |
00:11:25 |
I see. |
00:11:28 |
Well, you tell Dr. Roskin |
00:11:33 |
- First thing tomorrow morning. |
00:11:37 |
I was, um, right, okay, good. |
00:11:40 |
Thank you. |
00:11:42 |
Board members, shareholders, |
00:11:45 |
It is my honor to serve as president |
00:11:49 |
As many of you know, I was the owner of the |
00:11:55 |
what many of you don't know, however, |
00:12:01 |
There's no heartbeat. |
00:12:03 |
This baby has no heart. |
00:12:08 |
I was rushed to the neo-natal |
00:12:11 |
and there received the first ever |
00:12:14 |
fully-automated internal combustion |
00:12:18 |
ever produced by |
00:12:23 |
of RIP healthcare. |
00:12:24 |
This baby saved my life. |
00:12:27 |
And since the company saved my life, |
00:12:29 |
I thought it was only my |
00:12:33 |
And I have. |
00:12:35 |
RIP Healthcare will enjoy a profit |
00:12:39 |
of no less than $3 billion |
00:12:49 |
But we do have a problem |
00:12:55 |
You see, each year we lose literally |
00:13:01 |
in medical malpractice lawsuits |
00:13:06 |
by sleazy, slimy, low-life, |
00:13:12 |
blood-sucking, leaching lawyers. |
00:13:22 |
But what can we do? |
00:13:23 |
We're a hospital. |
00:13:25 |
We need doctors, |
00:13:28 |
After all, they're only human, right? |
00:13:34 |
Not any more. |
00:13:37 |
What if I were to tell you |
00:13:40 |
that we can have a doctor that works |
00:13:44 |
A doctor that knows everything, |
00:13:46 |
a doctor that can do anything, |
00:13:49 |
a doctor that makes no mistakes? |
00:13:50 |
You'd say I was crazy. |
00:13:52 |
You'd say I was |
00:13:59 |
Well, ladies and gentlemen, |
00:14:03 |
I give you the future of medicine. |
00:14:09 |
I give you medical device MD-63. |
00:14:17 |
Made with the latest space-age composite |
00:14:23 |
packing 350 gigabytes of RAM |
00:14:28 |
MD-63 can effectively, |
00:14:35 |
do the work of a dozen human doctors. |
00:14:39 |
MD-63 will now demonstrate his ability |
00:14:43 |
to perform the world's |
00:14:47 |
Ah, John from the mail room |
00:14:52 |
to be the first patient. |
00:14:57 |
Okay. |
00:14:58 |
MD-63... |
00:15:01 |
...begin. |
00:15:18 |
Oh, my gosh! |
00:15:20 |
He's totally crushing that guy's nuts. |
00:15:22 |
- I'm trying! |
00:15:40 |
We give you $3 billion of research money, |
00:15:43 |
and you give us a defective, |
00:15:46 |
Frank, how nice of you to stand up |
00:15:52 |
Meeting adjourned. |
00:15:54 |
Let's go, hurry up. |
00:15:56 |
You. |
00:15:57 |
Get that high-tech, groin-grabbing, |
00:16:01 |
crotch-crunching nutcracker fixed! Now. |
00:16:05 |
MD-63 starts tomorrow morning |
00:16:09 |
Did you say North Mercy? |
00:16:12 |
Did you say tomorrow? |
00:16:14 |
Yes, have you got a problem with that? |
00:16:17 |
No, no. No problem. |
00:16:19 |
Good. |
00:16:21 |
Because he will be in that hospital |
00:16:25 |
or the two of you will be in the hospital |
00:16:31 |
Pasqual, stay with them, |
00:16:43 |
Look at my client! |
00:16:45 |
Look at the hideous scar you left across |
00:16:51 |
Sosumi! |
00:16:52 |
Doctor, I am suing you! |
00:16:55 |
No, no, my name is Dr. Sosumi. |
00:17:04 |
Okay, then, Doctor. |
00:17:07 |
What possible justification |
00:17:13 |
I had to operate to save his life. |
00:17:16 |
To save his life! |
00:17:18 |
What kind of life do you think |
00:17:22 |
now that you've butchered his skull? |
00:17:25 |
My client may look like a monster, |
00:17:29 |
but you, you doctor, |
00:17:31 |
are the monster. |
00:17:35 |
Doctor, did you warn my client, |
00:17:40 |
Mr. Martin, |
00:17:42 |
that he was going to have a horrible scar |
00:17:46 |
before you ruthlessly |
00:17:51 |
No, he fall off bar stool. |
00:17:55 |
Oh, I see. |
00:17:58 |
Hey! He was unconscious, he was in a coma, |
00:18:01 |
so you figured, what the hell? |
00:18:03 |
I can do whatever I wanted. |
00:18:05 |
What if you wanted to have sex with him? |
00:18:10 |
Did you, doctor? Did you |
00:18:12 |
- Did you? |
00:18:13 |
Did you flip him over |
00:18:20 |
Order! Order in the court! |
00:18:24 |
No more questions, Your Honor. |
00:18:27 |
The sight of this... |
00:18:33 |
...doctor makes me sick. |
00:18:43 |
Yeah, $2 million dollars for a scar |
00:18:46 |
on a drunk whose life isn't worth a nickel. |
00:18:49 |
Don't worry, you'll get |
00:18:54 |
Hey, I gotta go, I got some business |
00:18:58 |
Thanks, buddy. |
00:19:04 |
You're welcome, Jake. Very welcome. |
00:19:17 |
Thank you for coming, Dr. Mills. |
00:19:18 |
Looks like you've found |
00:19:25 |
I'm a afraid your son is cross-eyed. |
00:19:30 |
Has Dr. Callaby come down yet? |
00:19:33 |
What are you doing? |
00:19:34 |
Charting vital signs. |
00:19:36 |
And who is taking these vital signs? |
00:19:38 |
The machine over there. |
00:19:39 |
So you're telling this machine |
00:19:42 |
Yeah, that's my job. |
00:19:45 |
Oh, we're the people |
00:19:47 |
See, that's what they look like. |
00:19:49 |
They're over there, those living |
00:19:53 |
We have too many of those, |
00:19:55 |
not enough doctors, not enough time, |
00:19:57 |
Are you listening to me? |
00:19:59 |
No, because you're talking to a computer. |
00:20:01 |
Let me guess. You're the mime. |
00:20:06 |
I'll take that as a yes. |
00:20:08 |
What seems to be the problem? |
00:20:11 |
Your nose... |
00:20:12 |
...is running. |
00:20:14 |
Anything else? |
00:20:17 |
Your throat... |
00:20:20 |
sounds like... |
00:20:22 |
saw... sore! Your throat is sore. |
00:20:25 |
That's really funny, |
00:20:29 |
Here, why don't you have a lozenge, |
00:20:32 |
Don't be afraid, I'm a doctor. |
00:20:35 |
Go ahead. |
00:20:39 |
You know, it's kind of funny, |
00:20:42 |
when I was a kid, I really wanted to be a mime. |
00:20:45 |
I used to do that box thing |
00:20:50 |
You know? |
00:20:52 |
What? It's not that bad. |
00:20:58 |
Oh, my God! |
00:21:00 |
Come here. |
00:21:07 |
Oh, excuse me. |
00:21:12 |
- Out of the way! |
00:21:14 |
- Watch out. |
00:21:16 |
Dr. Callaby, we need you right now! |
00:21:18 |
We got a multiple trauma. |
00:21:20 |
He's got an open head injury, |
00:21:22 |
and chopped liver. |
00:21:24 |
His BP is 25 over 5. |
00:21:36 |
This guy's a mess. |
00:21:39 |
I have to be on the golf |
00:21:41 |
Everyone on my count, |
00:21:43 |
one, two, |
00:21:44 |
three! |
00:21:58 |
Dr. Callaby, that man is going to die |
00:22:01 |
That man is going to die |
00:22:04 |
So, if it's all the same to you, |
00:22:06 |
You walk out, I report you |
00:22:08 |
Oh, and while you're at it, |
00:22:11 |
why don't you inform them |
00:22:13 |
that has never been sued for malpractice. |
00:22:16 |
If you'll excuse me, the green is calling. |
00:22:19 |
Get back here, Callaby. |
00:22:22 |
One, two, three... |
00:22:23 |
Fore! |
00:22:33 |
It's getting late. |
00:22:34 |
You guys finished with this tin can yet? |
00:22:37 |
Well, I adjusted his tactile sensors |
00:22:42 |
And right now, I'm scanning this month's |
00:22:47 |
We're almost done, okay? |
00:22:49 |
He'll be ready by morning. |
00:22:50 |
He better be. |
00:22:56 |
Damn it. |
00:22:57 |
If this doesn't work, we're both dead. |
00:23:00 |
Speaking of dead, |
00:23:05 |
before we bring him up |
00:23:09 |
Whaddya say we just |
00:23:12 |
How about pizza? |
00:23:15 |
Sounds good, let's go. |
00:23:47 |
Hey! |
00:23:48 |
Rise and shine. |
00:23:50 |
That includes you, Mr. Mime Molester. |
00:23:54 |
What? |
00:23:55 |
What did I do? |
00:23:56 |
Nothing, other than the mime. |
00:23:59 |
Come on. I didn't do the mime. |
00:24:01 |
In my country, it is strictly forbidden to have |
00:24:06 |
Bearded ladies, yes, but mimes, never. |
00:24:09 |
What country are you from? |
00:24:11 |
I'm from Akmannycaca, |
00:24:14 |
Did you hear me? |
00:24:16 |
Come on, we've got a backlog from last night. |
00:24:19 |
We have 38... |
00:24:23 |
...37 patients to see. |
00:24:26 |
He was in my parking spot. |
00:24:30 |
We've been through this Jason. |
00:24:32 |
I know we talked about this. |
00:24:34 |
I just wanna be sure you understand. |
00:24:36 |
I just, I want you to be prepared. |
00:24:40 |
I know you were in love with my brother, |
00:24:43 |
but this isn't him. |
00:24:49 |
It's created in his image. |
00:24:52 |
But it's a machine, it isn't human. |
00:24:55 |
He isn't... It isn't Robert. |
00:25:00 |
It was a long time ago. |
00:25:02 |
I'm over it. |
00:25:04 |
Then why do you |
00:25:09 |
I need to know the time. |
00:25:24 |
Richard, I've got some |
00:25:27 |
I found you another doctor. |
00:25:28 |
Oh, thank goodness. |
00:25:30 |
Welcome aboard, Doctor... |
00:25:31 |
Uh, I'm not the doctor. |
00:25:33 |
This is your doctor. |
00:25:36 |
Hello, Dr. Roskin. |
00:25:37 |
I'm Medical Device model number MD-63. |
00:25:40 |
I'm a new mechanized, computerized, |
00:25:46 |
This is a... This is a good joke. |
00:25:48 |
What? A hidden camera |
00:25:51 |
I'll just let you two get acquainted. |
00:25:56 |
That's funny, it is. |
00:25:59 |
It's no joke, doctor. |
00:26:00 |
I'm Jason Dockery, |
00:26:04 |
I'm here to get you acquainted |
00:26:07 |
Features? |
00:26:08 |
I asked Buttkiss for a doctor with a pulse, |
00:26:10 |
I don't need an |
00:26:12 |
Coffee? Would you like it black? |
00:26:15 |
Or with cream and sugar? |
00:26:26 |
Buttkiss! |
00:26:32 |
Maybe he wanted tea? |
00:26:36 |
Buttkiss! You promised me a doctor! |
00:26:38 |
You've given me a vending machine |
00:26:40 |
So you've met M.D. 63. |
00:26:42 |
I hear he's a very expensive, |
00:26:45 |
I don't need a device. |
00:26:48 |
Well, forget it! |
00:26:51 |
Lawsuits, malpractice rates, |
00:26:53 |
decreasing reimbursements. |
00:26:54 |
All the breathing doctors are quitting. |
00:26:57 |
Just give it a chance. Maybe you'll learn |
00:27:02 |
And I need another nurse! |
00:27:04 |
One made of flesh would be nice. |
00:27:15 |
Half-caf, triple grande, |
00:27:18 |
No whipped mocha. |
00:27:20 |
Me, too. |
00:27:21 |
Come on, Doctor Coffee, |
00:27:27 |
Back straight, stomach out a tiny bit, |
00:27:31 |
put your feet down, |
00:27:33 |
Gentlemen! Let us begin. |
00:27:35 |
Allow me to introduce the |
00:27:38 |
This is what corporate now |
00:27:42 |
Wait a minute, |
00:27:45 |
Is he a... |
00:27:46 |
Yes, right down to his CPU. |
00:27:49 |
Dr. Keefe, your presentation. |
00:27:51 |
Speaking of P.U., |
00:27:54 |
Mrs. Flaherty is a morbidly obese, |
00:27:58 |
flatulent, malodorous... |
00:27:59 |
Alright, okay, we get the point, |
00:28:03 |
Mrs. Flaherty is a 52-year-old woman |
00:28:07 |
Let me take a look. |
00:28:11 |
Mrs. Flaherty, |
00:28:12 |
does it hurt when I do this? |
00:28:17 |
Does it hurt when I do this? |
00:28:22 |
Mrs. Flaherty, |
00:28:25 |
About ten minutes ago. |
00:28:27 |
Ah. And what did you eat? |
00:28:31 |
I had a rack of lamb, |
00:28:33 |
a side of beef, |
00:28:34 |
four fried chickens, |
00:28:36 |
and some Chinese. |
00:28:37 |
Ah, some Chinese food? |
00:28:39 |
Or some Chinese people? |
00:28:45 |
Doctors, it appears that |
00:28:49 |
an old-fashioned stomach-ache. |
00:28:52 |
If we're all in agreement, let's get her |
00:28:56 |
I disagree. |
00:28:58 |
Oh, the toaster speaks. |
00:29:00 |
This woman has acute appendicitis. |
00:29:03 |
I've seen her naked. |
00:29:07 |
She needs surgery now. |
00:29:10 |
Okay, I am not going to |
00:29:14 |
to some motorized mannequin. |
00:29:16 |
I am Chief of Surgery, |
00:29:19 |
She's outta here! |
00:29:20 |
If you do not open her up, I will. |
00:29:27 |
You couldn't open a can of beans, tin man. |
00:29:30 |
Well, actually... |
00:29:48 |
Fine! |
00:29:50 |
Go right ahead. |
00:29:54 |
But who's going to help you, huh? |
00:29:55 |
MD-63 doesn't need any help. |
00:29:58 |
He shifts automatically |
00:30:00 |
surgeon and scrub nurse mode. |
00:30:07 |
One red hot appendix, doctor. |
00:30:17 |
What is he doing now? |
00:30:19 |
Since MD-63 is programmed to perform |
00:30:24 |
he can diagnose and treat |
00:30:42 |
Mama! |
00:30:48 |
What the hell did you do to her? |
00:30:49 |
An appendectomy. I also |
00:30:54 |
tummy tuck, face lift |
00:30:57 |
Thank you, doctor. |
00:31:01 |
Beginner's luck. |
00:31:02 |
Ma'am, we're going to have |
00:31:05 |
Yeah, right buddy. |
00:31:15 |
He was my creation, you know. |
00:31:18 |
I created him. |
00:31:24 |
Just because they've installed in you |
00:31:28 |
that doesn't make you a real doctor. |
00:31:30 |
Bonacasa, will you show "it" around? |
00:31:32 |
Yes, sir. |
00:31:34 |
Don't worry about him. |
00:31:36 |
He's still trying to figure |
00:31:40 |
I hit it, I hit it! |
00:31:49 |
There you are, sweetie. |
00:31:51 |
You need to stay in the clinic, okay? |
00:31:55 |
I hope he didn't hurt... you. |
00:31:58 |
Dr. Mills, this is MD-63 |
00:32:03 |
Have you met before? |
00:32:05 |
No, it's just he... |
00:32:07 |
...reminds me of |
00:32:10 |
Perhaps it's one of my prototypes. |
00:32:13 |
I've been told I bear |
00:32:15 |
to MD models 48, 57, and 59 through 61. |
00:32:19 |
The nurses are all talking about you. |
00:32:21 |
They call you RoboDoc. |
00:32:26 |
I run the children's clinic. |
00:32:28 |
You're a pediatrician? |
00:32:30 |
With a sub-specialization |
00:32:32 |
We hope to cure them one day. |
00:32:34 |
Dr. Von Schmekel in Germany |
00:32:37 |
But until they find a cure, I teach them |
00:32:47 |
Yeah. Well, it looks like |
00:32:51 |
Cute kid. |
00:32:52 |
If you'll excuse us, I've got to show |
00:32:56 |
It was nice meeting you. |
00:32:59 |
I hit the ball! I hit the ball! |
00:33:01 |
Yes, you did, Joey. |
00:33:11 |
I think I see the problem. |
00:33:14 |
Is RoboCrock qualified to handle |
00:33:19 |
Psychiatry isn't in his |
00:33:23 |
I can put him in that mode, manually. |
00:33:25 |
With this psychiatry memory stick. |
00:33:44 |
Did they follow you here? |
00:33:47 |
They who? |
00:33:48 |
They! The CIA., |
00:33:50 |
F.B.I., K.G.B., |
00:33:52 |
N.R.A., A.A.R.P., |
00:33:54 |
N.A.A.C.P.! |
00:33:56 |
No. |
00:33:58 |
Listen, Doc, you gotta help me. |
00:34:01 |
The space aliens can read my mind. |
00:34:04 |
They put a chip in my head, doc. |
00:34:08 |
Sir, |
00:34:09 |
there's nothing wrong with |
00:34:17 |
Doc! Oh, no! |
00:34:20 |
They got you, too. |
00:34:34 |
That certainly did not produce |
00:34:38 |
Doctor, come quick we |
00:34:40 |
Let's see how you handle this one. |
00:34:49 |
He just stopped breathing. |
00:34:50 |
Perhaps he's angry at his mother. |
00:34:51 |
What? |
00:34:53 |
Tell me, what was your childhood like? |
00:34:56 |
Oh, he's still in psychiatrist mode. |
00:34:59 |
Get him out of here. |
00:35:00 |
We've lost his pulse. |
00:35:02 |
Go ahead, call a code, |
00:35:07 |
No time for that. |
00:35:09 |
Clear. |
00:35:17 |
Thanks, Doc. |
00:35:19 |
I feel great. |
00:35:21 |
Did you say something about my mother? |
00:36:07 |
Hi. |
00:36:09 |
I'm new Nurse Fonda, |
00:36:15 |
Guys? |
00:36:18 |
Hello? |
00:36:20 |
Hello? |
00:36:22 |
Not to be offensive in any way, |
00:36:24 |
but you seem to be so well... |
00:36:26 |
put together... You're not a robot? |
00:36:30 |
Excuse me? |
00:36:31 |
Are you real? |
00:36:33 |
Well, most of me is. |
00:36:35 |
Mr. Buttkiss said I can't start working |
00:36:39 |
So, which one of your strong and handsome |
00:36:46 |
I think I just did it in my pants. |
00:36:49 |
RoboCrock, |
00:36:51 |
how about you performing |
00:36:55 |
Certainly, chief. |
00:36:57 |
Right this way, miss. |
00:37:00 |
If you need any help, my teeth |
00:37:03 |
Charming. |
00:37:08 |
Now, all we have left is a pelvic exam. |
00:37:12 |
Hop into the stirrups. |
00:37:14 |
Well, it's not like you'll |
00:37:17 |
But I'm warning you, |
00:37:18 |
I've always found these |
00:37:22 |
Don't worry, I will do everything possible |
00:38:23 |
I think I just did it again. |
00:38:28 |
Everything is fine |
00:38:44 |
No smoking! |
00:39:09 |
Good morning. |
00:39:10 |
I took the liberty of drawing blood, |
00:39:13 |
performing surgery, |
00:39:16 |
I also made coffee for you. |
00:39:19 |
In the doctor's lounge. |
00:39:20 |
Wow. |
00:39:22 |
What time did you get in this morning? |
00:39:24 |
I never left. I do not need to sleep. |
00:39:27 |
If you did all of the work |
00:39:30 |
what are we going to do? |
00:39:31 |
We are going to go on rounds. |
00:39:36 |
How about a round of golf? |
00:39:37 |
That's your Mulligan. |
00:39:42 |
Golf? What is golf? |
00:39:45 |
Well, you hit a ball into a cup 18 times. |
00:39:51 |
What is the point? |
00:39:53 |
I don't know. |
00:39:55 |
Do you like whacking balls? |
00:39:57 |
Callaby, we're on medical rounds. |
00:40:01 |
See, Dick? I'm just here |
00:40:02 |
I might even learn something |
00:40:06 |
Doctor Bonacasa, present your patient. |
00:40:08 |
Mr. Malaka is a 45-year-old white male |
00:40:12 |
with a five-day history |
00:40:14 |
All the classic symptoms |
00:40:17 |
But he's not yet responded |
00:40:21 |
Well, perhaps we should |
00:40:24 |
Well, I don't know. |
00:40:28 |
Has anybody asked the walking can opener |
00:40:32 |
I need to analyze a urine sample. |
00:40:34 |
- By all means. |
00:40:52 |
I'd hate to be here when |
00:40:57 |
Mr. Malaka has tricinyphlis. |
00:40:59 |
Yeah, what's that? |
00:41:01 |
That's an incredibly rare disease. |
00:41:03 |
You can only get it by having sex with pigs. |
00:41:06 |
That's crazy. Absolutely crazy. |
00:41:09 |
I mean, this mechanical moron |
00:41:12 |
Tricinyphlis. |
00:41:14 |
There's only been ever |
00:41:20 |
Six. |
00:41:25 |
How disgusting. Not even in my country |
00:41:29 |
Sheeps, yes, goats, yes. |
00:41:31 |
Pigs? Never. |
00:41:40 |
See, to you, this may look |
00:41:43 |
but to me, this is payment |
00:41:49 |
Oh! Three-pointer. |
00:41:52 |
Doctor Callaby, there's |
00:41:55 |
Well, it better be very important. |
00:41:57 |
This man's aneurysm's about to burst. |
00:41:59 |
Don't move a muscle. |
00:42:01 |
I'll be right back. |
00:42:07 |
Hello? |
00:42:08 |
Jake! Jake, |
00:42:12 |
Where have I been? |
00:42:14 |
I was in court. |
00:42:17 |
Defending the rights of the downtrodden, |
00:42:21 |
Damn, this coffee's hot! |
00:42:23 |
I almost burned my tongue. |
00:42:24 |
What are you trying to do to me? |
00:42:29 |
So, you got another |
00:42:32 |
No! That's the problem. |
00:42:35 |
We got this new robotic doctor thingy |
00:42:38 |
It never makes a mistake. |
00:42:40 |
Robo... Doctor? |
00:42:41 |
Keep an eye on that tin can. |
00:42:43 |
Study it. It's our next meal ticket. |
00:42:46 |
It must have a weakness. |
00:42:48 |
But it knows everything. |
00:42:50 |
You figure out a way |
00:42:54 |
or my next malpractice case |
00:43:01 |
Jake, you don't mean that. |
00:43:04 |
Jake? |
00:43:06 |
Jakey? |
00:43:09 |
Jake? |
00:43:20 |
I'm afraid her breasts were so small |
00:43:22 |
- Do you mean... |
00:43:24 |
We had to put her on a "breast-perator." |
00:43:33 |
What are her chances? |
00:43:37 |
Not very good. |
00:43:38 |
Unless we can find her |
00:43:47 |
I know, I know. |
00:43:48 |
I lost my college girlfriend the same way. |
00:43:52 |
Doctor! Doctor! Great news! |
00:43:54 |
A busload of strippers |
00:43:56 |
we have a cooler full of donor breasts. |
00:43:58 |
That's incredible! |
00:44:00 |
How do you suppose |
00:44:30 |
Oh, if I keep eating this food, |
00:44:34 |
There's a hair in my sandwich. |
00:44:36 |
This is disgusting. |
00:44:37 |
I think the food is good, very good. |
00:44:39 |
Really? |
00:44:41 |
In my country, we don't |
00:44:44 |
We only eat on very special occasions. |
00:44:46 |
Like when? |
00:44:47 |
Like when we have food. |
00:44:49 |
Hey guys, here comes dessert. |
00:44:53 |
Hey. |
00:44:55 |
Whaddya say you and me |
00:44:57 |
Oh, I don't think I'm right for you. |
00:45:00 |
If I remember correctly, |
00:45:02 |
you like the strong, silent type. |
00:45:06 |
I didn't do the mime. |
00:45:08 |
Yeah. |
00:45:09 |
Hey, Kim. |
00:45:11 |
Hey, I just want to let you know, |
00:45:16 |
Aw, thanks. |
00:45:18 |
But complimenting me |
00:45:20 |
is not going to get you into my pants. |
00:45:23 |
Oh, then what will? |
00:45:32 |
Come on, Doc, give it to me straight, |
00:45:36 |
You are going to die. |
00:45:39 |
Oh my God, how long have I got? |
00:45:42 |
According to my calculations, |
00:45:45 |
three weeks, six days, 18 hours, |
00:45:48 |
47 minutes and nine seconds. |
00:45:51 |
Eight, seven, six, five... |
00:45:55 |
Is there any hope? |
00:45:56 |
No. |
00:45:57 |
Will there be much pain? |
00:45:59 |
Oh yes, very much so. |
00:46:01 |
Unbearable. |
00:46:02 |
Oh! What should I do, Doc? |
00:46:06 |
Write a will. Buy a nice suit. |
00:46:10 |
Roboshock. |
00:46:12 |
Can I speak to you for a moment? |
00:46:13 |
Certainly, chief. Have a nice day. |
00:46:21 |
Look, I don't mean to be overly critical, |
00:46:23 |
but we've got to work |
00:46:26 |
What do you mean, chief? |
00:46:28 |
I mean, you can't be |
00:46:31 |
Why not? |
00:46:32 |
Because, it's just not... |
00:46:35 |
Can you add anything here? |
00:46:36 |
Well, I can't program in compassion, Doctor, |
00:46:40 |
but I know he can learn from others. |
00:46:52 |
Now there's a beautiful doll. |
00:46:54 |
What's her name, sweetheart? |
00:46:55 |
This is Donna, the "Stranger Danger" doll. |
00:46:59 |
You're not a friend of mine, guy. |
00:47:01 |
You're a pervert. |
00:47:03 |
Get away! |
00:47:06 |
Charming. |
00:47:13 |
Well, |
00:47:15 |
I didn't know kids were still playing |
00:47:19 |
They're not. They're playing cow persons |
00:47:25 |
Cute. |
00:47:27 |
Look, the real reason I'm here is |
00:47:29 |
RoboCrock, he needs |
00:47:35 |
Evidently. |
00:47:37 |
Would you be willing to teach him? |
00:47:41 |
Well, someone has to. |
00:47:46 |
I'll see what I can do. |
00:47:47 |
Good. Then I'll leave him... it... |
00:47:51 |
in your hands this afternoon. |
00:47:52 |
Okay. |
00:47:55 |
Let's go. |
00:48:01 |
How can I explain compassion? |
00:48:04 |
Compassion. It is a sympathetic |
00:48:07 |
together with the desire to alleviate it. |
00:48:09 |
Very good. |
00:48:11 |
For a moment there, I forgot I was talking |
00:48:16 |
Simply stated, it's the |
00:48:21 |
For instance, look over there. |
00:48:24 |
All of God's creatures need to eat. |
00:48:26 |
Feeding them is an act of compassion. |
00:48:29 |
And for that, I believe that nice woman |
00:48:42 |
How do you know |
00:48:46 |
I really don't know. |
00:48:48 |
I guess I'd rather feel sorry for someone else |
00:48:54 |
I lost someone. |
00:48:57 |
Someone really close to me. |
00:49:00 |
He was killed in a car accident. |
00:49:02 |
He was killed by a... |
00:49:05 |
He was killed by a... |
00:49:06 |
Drunk driver. |
00:49:08 |
No, a cross-eyed driver. |
00:49:16 |
So this is why you decided |
00:49:19 |
to curing cross-eyed kids. |
00:49:20 |
It's the way I've chosen |
00:49:23 |
I have over 500 trillion |
00:49:25 |
full of how to care for people. |
00:49:27 |
I'm an expert in caring for people. |
00:49:29 |
That may be true, but you need |
00:49:33 |
If I'm not human, |
00:49:36 |
You don't have to be |
00:49:39 |
Dolphins care about people, |
00:49:41 |
dogs care about people, |
00:49:43 |
cats... well, the point is that |
00:49:46 |
people are insecure, frightened |
00:49:48 |
fearful creatures. |
00:49:50 |
They're not machines. |
00:49:52 |
They need to be reassured |
00:49:54 |
Even if it isn't. |
00:49:59 |
Everything is going to be okay. |
00:50:02 |
Not convincing. |
00:50:04 |
It wouldn't hurt if you smile or something. |
00:50:09 |
- Smile? |
00:50:11 |
Like this. |
00:50:21 |
It's a start. |
00:50:23 |
You know, as a doctor, |
00:50:25 |
but as a human, |
00:50:42 |
You have a deep laceration on your leg, |
00:50:44 |
which has become secondarily infected. |
00:50:46 |
Huh? |
00:50:47 |
You are infected with |
00:50:50 |
and will require more extensive treatment. |
00:50:53 |
Flesh-eating bacteria? |
00:50:55 |
That sounds horrible. |
00:50:58 |
It is not so bad. |
00:51:00 |
All of God's creatures need to eat. |
00:51:02 |
Yeah? |
00:51:04 |
The bacteria need |
00:51:06 |
And I admire your compassion |
00:51:12 |
Of course, there is a chance |
00:51:16 |
A chance? |
00:51:17 |
Like, a 10% chance? |
00:51:21 |
No, like a 99% chance. |
00:51:24 |
But, when you wake up, |
00:51:29 |
It is not so bad having an artificial leg. |
00:51:32 |
I've got two. |
00:51:37 |
That's incredible. |
00:51:39 |
Will I get one like that? |
00:51:42 |
Not exactly. |
00:51:43 |
My legs cost over $10 million each. |
00:51:46 |
With your health plan, |
00:51:53 |
...this. |
00:51:56 |
The best part is |
00:51:57 |
the bacteria will no longer |
00:52:02 |
Of course, you'll have to worry |
00:52:08 |
But don't worry. |
00:52:09 |
Everything will be okay. |
00:52:19 |
I think we still have some work to do |
00:52:23 |
Yeah. |
00:52:29 |
Scalpel. |
00:52:32 |
Scalpel. |
00:52:33 |
Dr. Callaby, a Dr. Gorman |
00:52:37 |
Uh, yes. |
00:52:39 |
He's coming now. |
00:52:42 |
Hello? |
00:52:43 |
Callaby, where the hell |
00:52:47 |
I'm doing the best I can, |
00:52:49 |
and he's only getting better. |
00:52:51 |
He's only a machine. |
00:52:53 |
He has to have a weakness. |
00:52:55 |
Find it! |
00:54:09 |
RoboDoc is a huge success. |
00:54:11 |
I've never seen such glowing evaluations. |
00:54:14 |
"RoboDoc saved my life." |
00:54:16 |
"RoboDoc made my labor |
00:54:19 |
I wished I was having his baby." |
00:54:21 |
Not me, the person... |
00:54:22 |
No one cares, Buttkiss. |
00:54:25 |
Delivering babies... |
00:54:27 |
We need him to do |
00:54:31 |
If we can get that freaky, |
00:54:34 |
splattered on the cover |
00:54:38 |
...then, Buttkiss, |
00:54:40 |
our stock would go through the roof. |
00:54:45 |
Excuse me sir, the newest |
00:54:48 |
for the Cross-Eyed Children's Clinic |
00:55:02 |
I wanna be a pilot. |
00:55:09 |
I wanna be a doctor. |
00:55:13 |
Don't touch me. |
00:55:15 |
I'm calling the police! |
00:55:17 |
Please donate generously |
00:55:19 |
of North Mercy Hospital. |
00:55:24 |
There. The cross-eyed kids. |
00:55:27 |
Yeah, I know. It's horrible. |
00:55:29 |
No, Buttkiss. |
00:55:31 |
If RoboDoc could cure them, |
00:55:34 |
then... I'd be a billionaire. |
00:55:41 |
What am I saying? |
00:55:44 |
I'd be a... |
00:55:48 |
Gazillionaire. |
00:55:49 |
Gazillionaire. |
00:55:52 |
Nice work, Buttkiss. |
00:56:00 |
The cafeteria's gotta |
00:56:02 |
He's only supposed to have synthetic. |
00:56:04 |
When you finish with him, |
00:56:09 |
Oh, quite a setup you have here. Yes. |
00:56:12 |
Very impressive. |
00:56:15 |
It'sjust been amazing how you've |
00:56:19 |
It was nothing, really. |
00:56:20 |
Anybody with |
00:56:22 |
a Ph. D from Harvard, |
00:56:24 |
the ACS Automotive Technical |
00:56:27 |
Well, I've been very impressed |
00:56:30 |
It seems he never makes a mistake. |
00:56:32 |
He doesn't. |
00:56:36 |
Really? Tell me more. |
00:56:42 |
You ever hear the term |
00:56:45 |
Any computer system is only as good |
00:56:47 |
as the information you put into it. |
00:56:49 |
While I'm changing his oil and brake fluid, |
00:56:51 |
Kevin here is scanning the latest |
00:56:54 |
And, um, how does all |
00:56:59 |
get into his head? |
00:57:01 |
It doesn't. |
00:57:03 |
His head... is empty. |
00:57:08 |
The only thing in his head |
00:57:10 |
Any information he needs, |
00:57:12 |
he retrieves from this database. |
00:57:14 |
For example, we just finished scanning |
00:57:16 |
an article on how |
00:57:19 |
There's no such cure. |
00:57:22 |
Sure, but I don't think |
00:57:25 |
I am a highly experienced doctor. |
00:57:28 |
I assure you... |
00:57:29 |
I don't understand this. |
00:57:32 |
It's a new procedure |
00:57:36 |
from the University of Dusseldorf. |
00:57:38 |
It hasn't been translated yet, |
00:57:40 |
But that's okay, because RoboDoc |
00:57:44 |
55 computer languages, |
00:57:48 |
Impressive. |
00:57:49 |
And right now, we're getting him ready |
00:57:52 |
to cure all the kids |
00:57:55 |
You don't say. |
00:57:59 |
Well, thank you |
00:58:02 |
It's been enlightening, |
00:58:06 |
and I hope you seal him up tight. |
00:58:08 |
Wouldn't want RoboDoc |
00:58:10 |
at the medical staff |
00:58:14 |
The medical staff dinner? |
00:58:18 |
Kevin, run out, |
00:58:22 |
I'll pick up some chrome polish. |
00:58:23 |
We gotta make him shine tonight. |
00:58:25 |
I'm on it. |
00:58:34 |
And she has the most beautiful hair. |
00:58:37 |
It's so silky, so smooth. |
00:58:39 |
Enough already. |
00:58:42 |
Just this once, why don't you tell her. |
00:58:49 |
Nurse Kim. |
00:58:56 |
I don't know what to say to you, |
00:59:00 |
Thanks. I've got work to do. |
00:59:06 |
Wait. Wait. |
00:59:08 |
I... I know we'll have beautiful |
00:59:12 |
You wanna have a baby. |
00:59:15 |
Well, why didn't you say so? |
00:59:46 |
Uh, easy. |
00:59:48 |
I just hit the switch. |
00:59:50 |
You sure did, baby. |
01:00:07 |
All right, quiet on the set, everybody. |
01:00:09 |
Ready on camera three. |
01:00:11 |
Jake, ready. |
01:00:16 |
Is your baby ugly? |
01:00:18 |
Sue your doctor. |
01:00:21 |
Not feeling springtime fresh? |
01:00:24 |
Sue your doctor. |
01:00:26 |
Have you lost a testicle, an eyeball, |
01:00:28 |
or some other small but |
01:00:31 |
Sue your doctor. |
01:00:33 |
Because of some greedy |
01:00:37 |
this sweet 98-year old woman |
01:00:42 |
won't live to see her great-great- |
01:00:48 |
With my help, |
01:00:52 |
I'm Jake Gorman, attorney-at-law, |
01:01:01 |
And cut. |
01:01:02 |
Jeez! |
01:01:04 |
Would somebody change |
01:01:06 |
She's carrying |
01:01:11 |
I just can't get that taste out of my mouth. |
01:01:14 |
Phone call for Mr. Gorman. |
01:01:20 |
Hello? |
01:01:21 |
Jakey, baby! Great news. It's Dr. C. |
01:01:26 |
I not only found out a |
01:01:30 |
but also make us very, very, very rich. |
01:01:35 |
Wait. Wait, let me get this straight. |
01:01:38 |
Blind kids? Oh, this is fantastic. |
01:01:41 |
Hang on a second, let me add this up. |
01:01:44 |
Loss of sight in one eye |
01:01:46 |
Times two eyes per blind kid, |
01:01:49 |
plus $50 million in punitive damages |
01:01:54 |
minus 60% for those |
01:01:57 |
that leaves us with a grand total of... |
01:02:38 |
Garbage in. |
01:02:45 |
Good, Joey. Swing it harder. |
01:02:55 |
Don't you wanna play |
01:02:57 |
No. I can't get it to work right. |
01:03:01 |
What, honey, |
01:03:03 |
This game. |
01:03:05 |
to chop off their heads, |
01:03:08 |
So sorry, sweetie. |
01:03:10 |
Let me give it a try. |
01:03:18 |
Let me take a look at it. |
01:03:19 |
I know a little something about computers. |
01:03:21 |
Okay, that would be great. |
01:03:44 |
It's not Robert. |
01:03:47 |
It's just a machine. |
01:04:25 |
Hi, RoboDoc. |
01:04:28 |
Are you going to the dinner tonight? |
01:04:31 |
Yes, I will be there. |
01:04:33 |
Well, good, |
01:04:35 |
'cause I'm gonna wear |
01:04:45 |
Excuse me. |
01:04:53 |
I don't care if he is a robot, |
01:04:56 |
I'm gonna make him a man tonight. |
01:05:12 |
Fill your pockets, fill your cheeks, |
01:05:14 |
this is the best free food |
01:05:17 |
Come on, scoop and move, buddy. |
01:05:23 |
I am wanting you |
01:05:26 |
Damn. Glad to meet you. |
01:05:29 |
She doesn't speak English. |
01:05:31 |
It was, uh, nice to meet you. |
01:05:46 |
I'm gonna have a baby. |
01:05:48 |
Oh, yeah! |
01:05:52 |
Oh, no. |
01:06:49 |
The, uh, proctologist's wife says |
01:06:53 |
"I guess we're just both |
01:07:09 |
Oh, my God. |
01:07:28 |
I'm in dire need of medical attention. |
01:07:31 |
If you're catching a cold from being |
01:07:36 |
I don't need a pediatrician. |
01:07:38 |
I'm a grown woman. |
01:07:40 |
I need a real doctor. |
01:07:52 |
What's the matter, cat got your tongue? |
01:08:01 |
Well, what do you have to say now? |
01:08:06 |
I'm not feeling so good. |
01:08:13 |
Oh, my God. |
01:08:14 |
How revolting, you bastard! |
01:08:18 |
Oh, I see how you are. |
01:08:19 |
You gave me the best |
01:08:22 |
and then you just walk away |
01:08:25 |
God. |
01:08:28 |
I hope there's a junkyard in hell. |
01:08:34 |
I am proud to announce that |
01:08:40 |
Of our medical staff, MD-63, |
01:08:42 |
Of our medical staff, MD-63, |
01:08:44 |
also known as RoboDoc, |
01:08:47 |
has performed his |
01:08:51 |
So, tomorrow, we will turn |
01:08:54 |
to those most in need. |
01:08:56 |
Our children. |
01:08:58 |
Tomorrow... Please. |
01:09:00 |
Tomorrow morning, RoboDoc |
01:09:04 |
the most ambitious surgical feat |
01:09:08 |
He will operate on and cure |
01:09:13 |
The... Ah, MD-63. |
01:09:18 |
Would you care to share a few words? |
01:09:29 |
Thank you... |
01:09:33 |
...all for coming. |
01:09:38 |
Coming. |
01:09:47 |
It's all right, everybody. |
01:09:50 |
Just, uh, stage fright. |
01:09:55 |
This hunk ofjunk had better be ready |
01:09:58 |
to perform delicate |
01:10:03 |
Or I'll be arranging |
01:10:08 |
And it won't be delicate. |
01:10:11 |
Ha. Thank you for joining us. |
01:10:14 |
We look forward to |
01:10:34 |
How is he? |
01:10:36 |
Well, he's still touch and go. |
01:10:38 |
The synchronization chip is fried. |
01:10:40 |
I need to find a donor. |
01:10:41 |
Donor? What is it? |
01:10:43 |
Somebody who lends |
01:10:45 |
But that's not important right now. |
01:10:46 |
I need a chip, you know, from a cell phone, |
01:10:52 |
Here. Here. Take my beeper |
01:10:55 |
Thanks, but I know I'm |
01:10:58 |
I need to find a match. |
01:11:01 |
Let's give him everything we got. |
01:11:03 |
Come on. |
01:11:11 |
I'm going back in. |
01:11:12 |
- Good luck. |
01:11:31 |
Wake up, everyone. |
01:11:32 |
- Hey. |
01:11:35 |
Look at that. Everything working? |
01:11:36 |
Yes, and guess what. |
01:11:38 |
I didn't need any of |
01:11:39 |
The matching chip came |
01:11:44 |
Thank you, Lauren. |
01:11:47 |
You're welcome. |
01:11:49 |
Now let's go straighten |
01:11:50 |
- Yes. |
01:11:53 |
Uh, sorry. |
01:11:55 |
Didn't realize you were still on the charger. |
01:12:02 |
Big Jake, the sardine can |
01:12:07 |
and we are on our way to being filthy, |
01:12:52 |
Uh, give me a nice, |
01:12:56 |
You hear the bell, you start cutting. |
01:13:11 |
What the hell is this? |
01:13:20 |
"Cut the optic nerve?" |
01:13:24 |
Oh, God. |
01:13:25 |
Oh, my G... I gotta stop him. |
01:13:40 |
I am done. |
01:14:22 |
It's dark in here. |
01:14:24 |
Just a minute. |
01:14:30 |
They're straight. You did it! |
01:14:39 |
Are you gonna take the bandages off? |
01:14:45 |
Everyone back! |
01:14:53 |
Look, he's blind! |
01:14:59 |
Oh, look! |
01:15:02 |
All the children are blind! |
01:15:06 |
I'm calling a lawyer. |
01:15:09 |
Jake Gorman. Attorney-at-law. |
01:15:13 |
You called? |
01:15:14 |
This guy's like a toilet, |
01:15:15 |
always around when shit goes down. |
01:15:18 |
I'm calling Risk Management. |
01:15:20 |
I'm calling the police. |
01:15:22 |
But the blindness is just temporary. |
01:15:25 |
Tell it to the judge. |
01:15:29 |
Marcus, we're gonna have more money |
01:15:33 |
Oh, ha ha, I know what to do with it. |
01:15:36 |
I'm going to see the world. |
01:15:39 |
Yeah. It's just a shame that |
01:15:46 |
won't be able to see the world. |
01:15:49 |
Ha! Just kidding! |
01:16:05 |
Please state your name. |
01:16:08 |
MD-63. |
01:16:10 |
But most people call me RoboDoc. |
01:16:15 |
Does the MD mean that |
01:16:18 |
No. It stands for medical device. |
01:16:21 |
You're not just any medical device. |
01:16:24 |
In fact, you're a highly advanced robot |
01:16:27 |
whose database contains all of mankind's |
01:16:32 |
So when you performed surgery |
01:16:35 |
you've simply |
01:16:39 |
and performed the procedure |
01:16:42 |
No. |
01:16:44 |
No? |
01:16:50 |
I have no more questions, Your Honor. |
01:17:00 |
MD-63. |
01:17:03 |
Why do people call you RoboDoc? |
01:17:07 |
Because I perform the functions of a doctor. |
01:17:10 |
You perform the functions of a doctor. |
01:17:16 |
What other functions do you perform? |
01:17:19 |
I do not understand your question. |
01:17:21 |
For instance, do you make coffee? |
01:17:24 |
Yes. |
01:17:25 |
- Do you toast bread? |
01:17:26 |
- Open cans. |
01:17:28 |
So you're a coffee maker, toaster, |
01:17:32 |
that also happens |
01:17:38 |
Yes. |
01:17:39 |
Where did you go to medical school? |
01:17:42 |
I did not. |
01:17:43 |
- High school? |
01:17:45 |
The fact is that you perform |
01:17:48 |
and you didn't even graduate |
01:17:53 |
You are not qualified |
01:17:57 |
I wouldn't even |
01:18:07 |
State your name. |
01:18:09 |
Dr. William Von Schmekel. |
01:18:12 |
Dr. Von Schmekel, |
01:18:18 |
used by the defendant? |
01:18:19 |
Ja, and I heard it worked perfectly. |
01:18:23 |
Doctor, these children are blind. |
01:18:25 |
Ja, but their eyes are straight. |
01:18:29 |
But does your procedure |
01:18:33 |
How should I know? |
01:18:34 |
I only did the procedure on rats and mice. |
01:18:40 |
You see this little fellow? |
01:18:42 |
He used to be cross-eyed. |
01:18:44 |
Yes, doctor, we can |
01:18:47 |
But has this rodent |
01:18:50 |
How should I know? |
01:18:53 |
I speak German, and I speak English, |
01:18:55 |
but I don't speak rat. |
01:18:57 |
Perhaps you should ask him. |
01:19:06 |
You shut your filthy, |
01:19:11 |
Mr. Gorman! |
01:19:15 |
I mean, sorry. |
01:19:19 |
He is a menace. |
01:19:21 |
When I think of the tears being shed |
01:19:26 |
by those... poor defenseless, innocent... |
01:19:32 |
prepubescent... |
01:19:36 |
beautiful little children... |
01:19:46 |
He forced me into the supply closet, |
01:19:49 |
and he touched me like no other |
01:19:52 |
battery-operated device |
01:19:58 |
Look what he did to me! |
01:20:00 |
He took out my appendix, |
01:20:02 |
and left this ugly, hideous scar. |
01:20:20 |
I didn't do the mime. |
01:20:22 |
Hey, shut up! |
01:20:24 |
Quiet! You're not the one on trial here. |
01:20:27 |
Yet. |
01:20:45 |
Members of the jury, |
01:20:49 |
We have, your honor. |
01:20:52 |
We, the jury, find the defendant |
01:20:55 |
MD-63 guilty. |
01:21:04 |
And we recommend |
01:21:07 |
and recycled for parts. |
01:21:10 |
We further order that RIP Healthcare |
01:21:15 |
pay the plaintiffs $3,577 trillion |
01:21:20 |
and 37 cents. |
01:21:22 |
And how did you arrive at that figure? |
01:21:27 |
It's all the money in the world, judge. |
01:21:30 |
Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay. |
01:21:43 |
RoboDoc, rise. |
01:21:47 |
MD-63, you are hereby sentenced |
01:21:50 |
to incarceration at Big Bernie's |
01:21:55 |
until the day of your demolition, |
01:21:58 |
when you will be crushed down |
01:22:02 |
and may God have mercy |
01:22:10 |
We lost how much? |
01:22:13 |
That's imposs... |
01:22:23 |
So many patients, no doctors. |
01:22:25 |
Thank you for coming in to help. |
01:22:27 |
No problem, it's good to be back. |
01:22:31 |
You, you, you, you... |
01:22:35 |
Sorry. |
01:23:17 |
I cannot believe |
01:23:20 |
I'm going to miss you guys. |
01:23:22 |
Well, you can see me twice a week, |
01:23:24 |
if they turn you into a set of golf clubs. |
01:23:33 |
Come on, guys. |
01:23:34 |
You know, we can't let them do this. |
01:23:37 |
We can break him out of here. |
01:23:38 |
You know, how big can Big Barnie be? |
01:23:41 |
You know, I'm not afraid of him. |
01:23:48 |
Listen, Robo... Doc. |
01:23:51 |
I know you and I got started |
01:23:54 |
but it was nothing personal. |
01:23:57 |
It's just that over the years, |
01:23:58 |
I've seen so many computers |
01:24:02 |
It was like they were becoming |
01:24:06 |
So I'm the last one you would ever think |
01:24:11 |
but... Wait. Wait. Wait. |
01:24:13 |
You big... You big... |
01:24:17 |
You've changed my mind, |
01:24:20 |
You've shown a level |
01:24:23 |
that most doctors can only dream about. |
01:24:25 |
You've treated your patients |
01:24:29 |
You've been an inspiration to all of us |
01:24:32 |
better people. |
01:24:34 |
You've become a friend. |
01:24:36 |
You've got the heart of a man, |
01:24:40 |
And you're taking this like a man. |
01:24:47 |
My oil plug. It must've popped out. |
01:24:50 |
It's time. |
01:25:15 |
What's this word? |
01:25:18 |
Blind. |
01:25:20 |
"Three blind mice. |
01:25:23 |
See how they run." |
01:25:26 |
You can see? |
01:25:33 |
You can all see. |
01:25:35 |
Let's go save RoboDoc! |
01:25:40 |
Excuse me! |
01:26:19 |
Let's get a move on, RoboCrock. |
01:26:22 |
The only thing that's gonna save |
01:26:23 |
is a phone call from the governor. |
01:26:25 |
Oh, hold on a second. |
01:26:26 |
Let me take this call. |
01:26:29 |
Hello, Big Bernie's Auto... |
01:26:31 |
It's the governor! |
01:26:33 |
Yes, sir, Mr. Governor. |
01:26:36 |
No, sir, you're right on time. |
01:26:38 |
We hadn't even started yet. |
01:26:40 |
Yes, sir, I'll take care of it personally. |
01:26:42 |
You bet, sir. Thanks for calling. |
01:26:46 |
Hey, Mike, don't crush that car yet. |
01:26:49 |
The governor wants the hood off of it. |
01:26:52 |
Come on! |
01:26:54 |
Let's get a move on. |
01:27:16 |
Stop! The kids can see! |
01:27:20 |
That's ridiculous. |
01:27:22 |
Their optic nerves were cut. |
01:27:25 |
- Hey, how'd you know... |
01:27:27 |
- You did it. |
01:27:28 |
- You altered the article. |
01:27:29 |
I did not cut their optic nerves. |
01:27:32 |
I may be a robot, |
01:27:34 |
The blindness was temporary |
01:27:37 |
after the operation. |
01:27:38 |
You're all lying! |
01:27:40 |
This is just a desperate last-minute stunt. |
01:27:43 |
These kids can't see. |
01:27:44 |
It'll cost me too much money. |
01:27:46 |
Sweet, unfortunate, blind little boy, |
01:27:50 |
if you can see my face, |
01:27:52 |
what do I look like? |
01:27:54 |
A rat bastard. |
01:27:56 |
Doctor, you're under arrest |
01:28:02 |
I did not. |
01:28:03 |
...endangering |
01:28:04 |
and product tampering. |
01:28:06 |
Product tampering? |
01:28:08 |
Take him away. |
01:28:09 |
RoboDoc, in light of this new evidence, |
01:28:12 |
I hereby exonerate you of any wrongdoing. |
01:28:15 |
You're a free man... er, robot. |
01:28:17 |
Whatever you are, you're free. |
01:28:19 |
Release the prisoner. |
01:28:51 |
Oh, RoboDoc, |
01:28:55 |
I'm so happy to have you back. |
01:29:02 |
So what do you think now? |
01:29:13 |
I think I need to make |
01:29:17 |
to the Centers for Disease Control. |
01:29:18 |
Excuse me. |
01:29:25 |
Your cat scan looks perfectly |
01:29:28 |
but we don't like to take any chances, |
01:29:30 |
so we will be removing |
01:29:33 |
Just to go in and take a look |
01:29:36 |
No! No! |
01:29:39 |
No! |
01:29:40 |
Yes, yes, yes. |
01:29:42 |
Fortunately, we do have the finest brain |
01:29:47 |
I believe you've meet Dr. Sosumi. |
01:30:03 |
Mr. Gorman not going to be able |
01:30:08 |
He going to have to find new line of work. |
01:30:45 |
Now say ah. |
01:35:20 |
Special Thanks to Screen Actors Guild. |
01:35:23 |
Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, Inc. |