|
Rocket Science
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| 00:00:17 |
Testing, testing. |
| 00:00:19 |
Significance, harms, |
| 00:00:25 |
Quiet, please. |
| 00:00:38 |
Judges ready? |
| 00:00:40 |
Timer ready? |
| 00:00:42 |
The Affirmative |
| 00:00:57 |
It will come as no |
| 00:01:00 |
our esteemed opponents from |
| 00:01:01 |
nor really to anyone at all |
| 00:01:03 |
in the audience that we, |
| 00:01:05 |
do hereby support this year's |
| 00:01:08 |
which I am supposed to recite now, |
| 00:01:11 |
it could still somehow |
| 00:01:13 |
That is ridiculous. Therefore, |
| 00:01:16 |
I will offer up a moment of silence |
| 00:01:19 |
to say the resolution aloud. It will be |
| 00:01:22 |
the High School Policy Debaters |
| 00:01:25 |
Resolved... |
| 00:01:26 |
For those of you who aren't |
| 00:01:29 |
but there's a reason why |
| 00:01:31 |
and if you please, right now, |
| 00:01:33 |
Hang on if you can. |
| 00:01:34 |
Our plan today is succinct. |
| 00:01:35 |
Only by becoming a |
| 00:01:36 |
will the United States government |
| 00:01:38 |
of the free world, and thus |
| 00:01:40 |
Therefore we support an amendment |
| 00:01:41 |
to the Constitution of the United States |
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to outlaw all political parties |
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that do not embrace socialism |
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as their core philosophy. |
| 00:01:45 |
On the stage of |
| 00:01:46 |
High School Policy |
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that spring night |
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of Plainsboro High. |
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To anyone |
| 00:01:56 |
there was one thing |
| 00:01:59 |
He had a voice. |
| 00:02:02 |
Even then, |
| 00:02:03 |
a real voice. |
| 00:02:05 |
You're all wondering, |
| 00:02:07 |
is he going to get to |
| 00:02:08 |
At long last the link to farming, |
| 00:02:10 |
agricultural societies collapse under |
| 00:02:13 |
And agriculture has always |
| 00:02:15 |
- Without agriculture... |
| 00:02:18 |
set out the complexities |
| 00:02:20 |
his partner |
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picturing how |
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the only trophy missing from her |
| 00:02:30 |
One team on the Affirmative, |
| 00:02:34 |
The other on the Negative, |
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This year's national resolution |
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is specifically about farming |
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By overstepping the resolution, |
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they haven't met their |
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to defend said resolution and |
| 00:02:45 |
Subsidies are at their heart an |
| 00:02:46 |
that's from Gutierrez, '03. |
| 00:02:48 |
That the negative team |
| 00:02:49 |
against socialism isn't our fault. |
| 00:02:50 |
They didn't penetrate the subject |
| 00:02:52 |
To suggest that we haven't |
| 00:02:54 |
is fallacious and specious. |
| 00:02:55 |
I refer you again to the quotes |
| 00:02:58 |
And so it goes. |
| 00:03:00 |
like the war that rips |
| 00:03:02 |
and ravages everything in its path; |
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Kids wielding words like weapons |
| 00:03:07 |
Nothing else mattered |
| 00:03:10 |
There was no world |
| 00:03:14 |
Except that 46 miles away |
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Hal Hefner was at home... |
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like nothing |
| 00:03:23 |
was burning around him. |
| 00:03:24 |
We're gonna have to |
| 00:03:26 |
What am I gonna do? |
| 00:03:27 |
My stuff's not gonna |
| 00:03:29 |
- Yeah, put it in a garbage bag! |
| 00:03:31 |
Why don't you go down to the basement? |
| 00:03:33 |
There's another set down there. |
| 00:03:34 |
Quit slamming the drawers. |
| 00:03:36 |
- Oh, come on! |
| 00:03:38 |
Give me a break. I'm taking this. |
| 00:03:39 |
I hope you don't mind, |
| 00:03:40 |
because you took |
| 00:03:42 |
On that May night Hal Hefner |
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Charlotte. |
| 00:03:49 |
...could you not do that? |
| 00:03:49 |
Because I may have to come |
| 00:03:51 |
- See ya. |
| 00:03:53 |
Don't take that bag. |
| 00:03:58 |
Hey, Hal. |
| 00:04:01 |
I'm taking these. I'm not |
| 00:04:05 |
and that's why I'm |
| 00:04:10 |
Just leave the big |
| 00:04:13 |
Lord, this is so you! |
| 00:04:22 |
Here's your suitcase. |
| 00:04:34 |
You guys are going |
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And I'll... |
| 00:04:39 |
I'll see you |
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I don't know |
| 00:04:44 |
I can't put it into words. |
| 00:05:00 |
Back on the stage of |
| 00:05:03 |
the night at last |
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as not just any night, |
| 00:05:07 |
but as the night, |
| 00:05:11 |
Ben Wekselbaum, the best |
| 00:05:15 |
Plainsboro High, |
| 00:05:17 |
according to anyone |
| 00:05:19 |
that Ben Wekselbaum, |
| 00:05:21 |
he just went quiet. |
| 00:05:23 |
Our next advantage basically says |
| 00:05:25 |
in an atmosphere |
| 00:05:27 |
That human relations |
| 00:05:33 |
Sorry, I just said that. |
| 00:05:35 |
Wait, wait, wait. |
| 00:05:58 |
Ben? |
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46 miles apart, |
| 00:06:12 |
all the arguments |
| 00:06:17 |
So there was this bridge |
| 00:06:22 |
No shouting |
| 00:06:25 |
no debating, no voice. |
| 00:06:27 |
No one's voice at all. |
| 00:06:37 |
That year's National Debate |
| 00:06:41 |
And if you don't know |
| 00:06:43 |
could inspire all this commotion, |
| 00:06:45 |
then you don't know life |
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and there's nothing |
| 00:06:49 |
Suitcases end marriages and |
| 00:07:07 |
Can a voice travel |
| 00:07:09 |
like yawning or mono? |
| 00:07:14 |
Sure it can. |
| 00:07:17 |
That the will to speak |
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across the dark |
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until it arrived |
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where it would |
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or try to, |
| 00:07:58 |
Gladys, let's go! |
| 00:08:01 |
Timeliness is |
| 00:08:05 |
- Heston. |
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I'll just have the... |
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just the... |
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just the pizza, |
| 00:08:23 |
Thank you. |
| 00:08:31 |
What kind of a name |
| 00:08:41 |
Not a pseudonym, |
| 00:08:43 |
but...? |
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How about |
| 00:08:49 |
Does nom de plume |
| 00:08:51 |
It sounds right to me. |
| 00:08:52 |
It was toward the end of the reading |
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that no one seems |
| 00:08:57 |
Open your books |
| 00:09:00 |
Let's do the reading that should |
| 00:09:02 |
Fish or pizza? |
| 00:09:04 |
Yeah, I'll have the pizza. |
| 00:09:11 |
Fish or pizza? |
| 00:09:13 |
I'll have the... |
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The pizza's plain or pep. |
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Fish is... not sure. |
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Like general fish. |
| 00:09:23 |
Yeah, I'll have the... |
| 00:09:24 |
the... the... |
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the, uh... |
| 00:09:27 |
the... not... |
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I'll just... just... |
| 00:09:32 |
- just... |
| 00:09:39 |
The general fish... |
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please. |
| 00:09:43 |
Come back for seconds. |
| 00:09:45 |
Thank you, ma'am. |
| 00:09:48 |
- Fish or pizza? |
| 00:10:20 |
Do you want to keep on |
| 00:10:23 |
or something new? |
| 00:10:27 |
Is it all right |
| 00:10:30 |
don't have an opinion? |
| 00:10:32 |
Let's try this. |
| 00:10:34 |
I read in this journal, |
| 00:10:36 |
"Clinical Pathways |
| 00:10:39 |
that it's hard |
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when you whisper |
| 00:10:47 |
I sent away for a videotape |
| 00:10:51 |
Not a solution, |
| 00:10:53 |
but wanna give it |
| 00:10:57 |
I can't... I can't... |
| 00:11:01 |
I can't do this. |
| 00:11:04 |
Isn't this |
| 00:11:07 |
Even for Honoria. |
| 00:11:10 |
This is too stupid. |
| 00:11:13 |
I explained this, Hal, |
| 00:11:15 |
I'm sorry, I'm trying. |
| 00:11:18 |
It's really a shame |
| 00:11:21 |
because that I know well. |
| 00:11:24 |
And that I can |
| 00:11:28 |
hyperactivity. |
| 00:11:31 |
But... |
| 00:11:32 |
back to breathing. |
| 00:11:35 |
Breathe. |
| 00:11:44 |
Good, come on. |
| 00:11:46 |
It was 1858, |
| 00:11:49 |
and while Senator Stephen Douglas |
| 00:11:52 |
that states ought to choose |
| 00:11:55 |
Abraham Lincoln consulted |
| 00:11:58 |
with the smart |
| 00:12:00 |
to plot his answer. |
| 00:12:02 |
Lincoln's a chick. |
| 00:12:03 |
Let me find now a citizen |
| 00:12:05 |
to assist me in coming up |
| 00:12:08 |
against Senator Douglas. |
| 00:12:10 |
Where can I find |
| 00:12:19 |
The commoner in the |
| 00:12:23 |
we need you, sir. |
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Rise to your duty. |
| 00:12:31 |
- Come on! |
| 00:12:45 |
My assistant has come |
| 00:12:47 |
in my debate |
| 00:12:50 |
Ha! |
| 00:12:54 |
What cannot a house |
| 00:12:58 |
It is this argument |
| 00:13:03 |
What cannot it do? |
| 00:13:12 |
Uh... |
| 00:13:15 |
it... it... |
| 00:13:17 |
Hold it further away |
| 00:13:20 |
What cannot |
| 00:13:27 |
It can't... |
| 00:13:29 |
can't st... |
| 00:13:32 |
can't... can't... |
| 00:13:34 |
Mr. President... |
| 00:13:38 |
a house divided can't... |
| 00:13:42 |
Some help |
| 00:13:45 |
It can't stand. |
| 00:13:47 |
I thought it would |
| 00:13:51 |
Thank you. |
| 00:13:53 |
How about a round of applause |
| 00:13:57 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:13:59 |
with which you have listened to |
| 00:14:04 |
You look taller onstage. |
| 00:14:33 |
Agnes. |
| 00:14:35 |
Agnes. Agnes. |
| 00:14:40 |
Agnes. |
| 00:14:43 |
I'm trying |
| 00:14:47 |
Distinctly not to... you're like |
| 00:14:50 |
Do you wanna |
| 00:14:53 |
You've no agenda. |
| 00:14:55 |
Strictly head-in- |
| 00:14:57 |
Look at me. |
| 00:14:59 |
I wake up every morning |
| 00:15:02 |
I create an agenda |
| 00:15:03 |
which is a sub-agenda |
| 00:15:05 |
which is in itself |
| 00:15:09 |
which is in itself |
| 00:15:10 |
of my agenda |
| 00:15:17 |
Do you want to hear |
| 00:15:20 |
L... uh, I... |
| 00:15:24 |
L... I... |
| 00:15:26 |
that I absolutely |
| 00:15:29 |
Probably call the cops |
| 00:15:34 |
Hey, Adolf, |
| 00:15:36 |
Upsy-daisy. |
| 00:15:37 |
This is my seat. |
| 00:15:39 |
Like all seats |
| 00:15:41 |
yours has been paid |
| 00:15:43 |
Which means that I |
| 00:15:45 |
has just as much right |
| 00:15:47 |
In fact, given |
| 00:15:48 |
between what your family |
| 00:15:50 |
I think it's safe to say the seat |
| 00:15:54 |
Do you see now? |
| 00:15:56 |
I'll be taking just a minute to talk |
| 00:15:59 |
and then you can go on borrowing |
| 00:16:02 |
until I want it again, |
| 00:16:15 |
Coach Lumbly, |
| 00:16:16 |
she teaches patterns |
| 00:16:19 |
She's on her third husband, |
| 00:16:22 |
It's a particular pattern she |
| 00:16:25 |
Anyway, she came up to me after |
| 00:16:29 |
and said that although my argumentative |
| 00:16:32 |
she sensed, somehow she |
| 00:16:36 |
and she invited me |
| 00:16:38 |
So now here I am two years later |
| 00:16:41 |
recruiting, |
| 00:16:43 |
ferreting out the debating |
| 00:16:46 |
That's you. |
| 00:16:49 |
I've ferreted you. |
| 00:16:51 |
You mean... |
| 00:16:54 |
public speaking? |
| 00:16:56 |
in public? |
| 00:17:01 |
No, I don't think that's... |
| 00:17:03 |
Resolved that |
| 00:17:05 |
should support the |
| 00:17:06 |
in public schools... |
| 00:17:09 |
It's a big step up |
| 00:17:11 |
That was last year's |
| 00:17:14 |
Yeah, I know. |
| 00:17:17 |
Suit yourself. |
| 00:17:19 |
But deformed people |
| 00:17:21 |
Maybe it's because they |
| 00:17:24 |
It serves them well. |
| 00:17:30 |
Were you trying |
| 00:17:32 |
I thought you might be |
| 00:17:37 |
You're welcome. |
| 00:18:50 |
I'm sure this is |
| 00:18:53 |
Not one bit. |
| 00:18:57 |
I swear I'm more nervous |
| 00:19:00 |
Honestly, Jules, |
| 00:19:03 |
It's lucky I'm not dating |
| 00:19:11 |
Is this a traditional |
| 00:19:15 |
Because it has an |
| 00:19:20 |
Uh, that's |
| 00:19:38 |
Use your finger! |
| 00:19:40 |
Shut up! |
| 00:19:43 |
My dad hasn't dated anyone |
| 00:19:47 |
Can, uh... |
| 00:19:48 |
can we just |
| 00:19:55 |
I got this by |
| 00:20:04 |
Look at this one. |
| 00:20:08 |
Fire! |
| 00:20:12 |
Then on Thursday... |
| 00:20:14 |
it could have been |
| 00:20:16 |
it was Thursday... |
| 00:20:19 |
for no good reason, |
| 00:20:21 |
And it was like a little wave |
| 00:20:24 |
Take aim... |
| 00:20:30 |
And it said the name |
| 00:20:32 |
G- I-N-N-Y. |
| 00:20:34 |
Ginny. |
| 00:20:36 |
The wave said |
| 00:20:38 |
Over and over. |
| 00:20:40 |
- Ginny, Ginny, Ginny... |
| 00:20:45 |
Zero points, Hal Hefner. |
| 00:20:47 |
Ginny. |
| 00:20:48 |
The etymology of the word |
| 00:20:50 |
but we believe it to be |
| 00:20:52 |
of speed and reading, |
| 00:20:53 |
All it is is jamming as many arguments |
| 00:20:57 |
Here we go... the effects |
| 00:20:59 |
include transition of diseases, |
| 00:21:02 |
and a host of potential |
| 00:21:05 |
a host of potential illnesses |
| 00:21:07 |
and low self-esteem. |
| 00:21:09 |
Participation in the program is 53% |
| 00:21:12 |
You know, the other thing |
| 00:21:14 |
is that you even look |
| 00:21:17 |
in a shorter, |
| 00:21:18 |
And what would you be doing |
| 00:21:21 |
if it wasn't for me to discover you |
| 00:21:24 |
Hi. |
| 00:21:29 |
Resolved that Hal Hefner should |
| 00:21:32 |
tell him what's possible and try |
| 00:21:34 |
Maybe that's a |
| 00:21:36 |
suited just to some of |
| 00:21:38 |
So maybe it's not for you, |
| 00:21:42 |
The quality of life among |
| 00:21:56 |
Before this, |
| 00:21:57 |
there was the nothingness |
| 00:22:00 |
But now Hal Hefner suddenly |
| 00:22:02 |
And it felt like all his life his brain |
| 00:22:06 |
so comfortably now |
| 00:22:08 |
and take up |
| 00:22:11 |
You're on |
| 00:22:17 |
You're still on |
| 00:22:20 |
Do you... do you have |
| 00:22:24 |
We'll see. |
| 00:22:38 |
My mom, Fern, says |
| 00:22:41 |
and if it's okay with your mom |
| 00:22:44 |
but the icemaker's |
| 00:23:03 |
Hi. |
| 00:23:06 |
You want to sit down |
| 00:23:08 |
work on their marriage |
| 00:23:11 |
I'm upstairs! |
| 00:23:14 |
Uh, uh... |
| 00:23:16 |
uh, no thanks. |
| 00:23:28 |
I have a request in for binoculars |
| 00:23:32 |
we'll see about that. |
| 00:23:35 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:23:43 |
Who, uh... |
| 00:23:45 |
who is that? |
| 00:23:47 |
Beats me. Hey, do you know |
| 00:23:53 |
Wanna see a bra? |
| 00:24:05 |
Yeah, uh... I should... |
| 00:24:09 |
I should... should... |
| 00:24:11 |
I should really probably |
| 00:24:13 |
Okay. |
| 00:24:43 |
Uh, Judge Pete? |
| 00:24:45 |
Judge Pete? |
| 00:24:47 |
- Hm? |
| 00:24:49 |
know any, uh, |
| 00:24:52 |
great lawyers who |
| 00:24:55 |
Not... not fluent, |
| 00:24:58 |
whose clients don't end |
| 00:25:00 |
Uh... |
| 00:25:04 |
Oh, there's a bailiff with |
| 00:25:16 |
What are |
| 00:25:27 |
Hi. |
| 00:25:30 |
I, uh... I talked |
| 00:25:32 |
to Mrs... |
| 00:25:35 |
To... to uh... |
| 00:25:38 |
to the coach, |
| 00:25:39 |
I'm... I'm... I'm gonna |
| 00:25:43 |
uh, thanks to you. |
| 00:25:46 |
Someone took something |
| 00:25:50 |
I had a locket. I had |
| 00:25:53 |
with two pictures inside. |
| 00:25:55 |
One was of me, the other |
| 00:25:58 |
a boy, of sorts. |
| 00:25:59 |
What's a... |
| 00:26:02 |
My mother believes that one |
| 00:26:05 |
because he, or even she, |
| 00:26:07 |
and wanted the locket |
| 00:26:10 |
or utilize for other |
| 00:26:12 |
But I told her that |
| 00:26:15 |
I have this |
| 00:26:16 |
that it was taken out of my |
| 00:26:19 |
It's like I sensed it leaving |
| 00:26:22 |
but a burning ounce |
| 00:26:25 |
Well, I don't... I don't think |
| 00:26:28 |
Not that I, uh, even really |
| 00:26:31 |
But, I just don't |
| 00:26:34 |
would really think |
| 00:26:37 |
Like what? |
| 00:26:38 |
I mean, just, uh, |
| 00:26:44 |
That's the worst thing |
| 00:26:48 |
- Wait, no! |
| 00:26:50 |
No no, I didn't... |
| 00:26:51 |
I never should have |
| 00:26:53 |
God only knows |
| 00:26:55 |
But, I didn't... |
| 00:27:09 |
Earl. |
| 00:28:02 |
Thief. |
| 00:28:21 |
- Yes? |
| 00:28:23 |
here, I... |
| 00:28:24 |
Shouldn't you be |
| 00:28:41 |
- You took the locket, you weaselhead! |
| 00:28:43 |
You left my theft box |
| 00:28:45 |
Don't ever touch |
| 00:28:47 |
I mean it! |
| 00:28:49 |
You should put that on |
| 00:28:51 |
I'm gonna tan your hide, |
| 00:28:53 |
You God-awful |
| 00:28:54 |
Judge Pete is gonna |
| 00:28:56 |
Get your own |
| 00:28:57 |
If you tell anyone |
| 00:28:59 |
I'm going to wipe my ass with your |
| 00:29:01 |
and I'm gonna reach in your |
| 00:29:04 |
I'm hiding my theft box |
| 00:29:07 |
This is ridiculous! |
| 00:29:09 |
And stay out! |
| 00:29:32 |
It's for you, Annabelle. |
| 00:29:41 |
Uh... |
| 00:29:42 |
uh, he... uh... |
| 00:29:45 |
Is this the |
| 00:29:50 |
Um, uh, I... |
| 00:29:52 |
yeah, uh, |
| 00:29:54 |
can you... can you |
| 00:29:56 |
I'm just gonna, um... |
| 00:29:59 |
I'm just gonna move. |
| 00:30:03 |
You can hang up now, |
| 00:30:05 |
You can hang up |
| 00:30:07 |
Oh, okay. |
| 00:30:13 |
The boy whose picture |
| 00:30:16 |
did you see him? |
| 00:30:17 |
Uh, yeah, he... |
| 00:30:19 |
His name's Ben Wekselbaum. |
| 00:30:21 |
until he freaked out at |
| 00:30:23 |
and left me with a lousy |
| 00:30:25 |
I've never felt |
| 00:30:27 |
Have you ever felt like you |
| 00:30:30 |
Every day. |
| 00:30:34 |
Well, he dropped out |
| 00:30:36 |
and though he never did |
| 00:30:38 |
I heard through the grapevine |
| 00:30:40 |
at the world-renowned Louise |
| 00:30:43 |
L... yeah, I don't think |
| 00:30:46 |
Right. Anyway, |
| 00:30:50 |
that the spirit of cowardliness |
| 00:30:52 |
because it has one: Left my |
| 00:30:55 |
and two: Allowed me to find |
| 00:30:57 |
into the kind of bare-knuckles |
| 00:30:59 |
The best debaters are |
| 00:31:01 |
I, trying to rise above |
| 00:31:04 |
and you trying to prove |
| 00:31:05 |
that you're not as retarded |
| 00:31:07 |
Which is why I want you to |
| 00:31:09 |
that comes with having taken my locket |
| 00:31:11 |
You're on dishes tonight, |
| 00:31:13 |
I'm on an important |
| 00:31:15 |
They're all important calls |
| 00:31:18 |
I have to go. I'll see you |
| 00:31:20 |
- You're helping me with research. |
| 00:31:25 |
Ginny, are you... |
| 00:31:28 |
Oh, I am, Katherine, yes, |
| 00:31:30 |
Earl! |
| 00:31:31 |
If you think you're gonna |
| 00:31:33 |
without my permission, |
| 00:31:35 |
You'll never sleep |
| 00:31:37 |
Don't do it, little shit! |
| 00:31:58 |
Try not to steal |
| 00:32:22 |
Cut it out |
| 00:32:26 |
Close the door |
| 00:32:31 |
Sit down. You're finding me |
| 00:32:47 |
So, uh... |
| 00:32:51 |
what do... what do you believe in |
| 00:32:55 |
Top debaters never really |
| 00:32:58 |
It gets in the way of |
| 00:33:00 |
But I mean, like, |
| 00:33:02 |
for you, like |
| 00:33:05 |
Debate is life. You shouldn't |
| 00:33:08 |
Because in my mind, I don't... |
| 00:33:11 |
a very good idea. |
| 00:33:14 |
Because, um, |
| 00:33:17 |
don't think it's |
| 00:33:19 |
not for kids |
| 00:33:23 |
Okay, well, that's enough |
| 00:33:27 |
Write down these template |
| 00:33:29 |
One, supporting it violates the |
| 00:33:32 |
Two, it's an enforcement |
| 00:33:34 |
Three, sexual freedom is |
| 00:33:36 |
Four, it separates us from |
| 00:33:39 |
when we should be drawing closer |
| 00:33:41 |
Five, psychologists say |
| 00:33:44 |
can create adult neuroses; |
| 00:33:45 |
Six, abstinence programs |
| 00:33:47 |
risky sexual behavior |
| 00:33:48 |
Seven, it creates barriers |
| 00:33:51 |
and their more |
| 00:33:52 |
Eight, and finally, we oppose |
| 00:33:55 |
and then basically everyone |
| 00:33:58 |
Wow. |
| 00:34:01 |
Yeah, all those when |
| 00:34:07 |
In preparation for our first official |
| 00:34:10 |
show me that you can argue |
| 00:34:12 |
Well, um... |
| 00:34:14 |
I think I may be better arguing |
| 00:34:18 |
How. |
| 00:34:21 |
Um... |
| 00:34:22 |
the only one that I could... |
| 00:34:25 |
that I could really |
| 00:34:28 |
that, uh, love is... |
| 00:34:33 |
when you... |
| 00:34:36 |
The special-love case. |
| 00:34:39 |
Probably that stinks, |
| 00:34:42 |
and we'll see. |
| 00:35:05 |
Dad says he and Mom have done |
| 00:35:09 |
and some as many as |
| 00:35:12 |
But he says no one's |
| 00:35:14 |
which seems like |
| 00:35:15 |
'cause he could be the |
| 00:35:19 |
and no one would |
| 00:35:23 |
Yeah, I tried this one with my pants on |
| 00:35:28 |
But he wouldn't sit still |
| 00:35:54 |
Mmm, hot |
| 00:36:24 |
Descartes. |
| 00:36:29 |
Hey, would you be interested |
| 00:36:32 |
The Junior Philosophers. |
| 00:36:36 |
Oh, uh, |
| 00:36:38 |
I... my plate |
| 00:36:40 |
I know what |
| 00:36:42 |
We read everything, |
| 00:36:45 |
if that's your concern. |
| 00:36:49 |
No, uh, actually |
| 00:36:54 |
That girl. |
| 00:37:04 |
You know what you can |
| 00:37:06 |
is write up |
| 00:37:08 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 00:37:10 |
Okay. |
| 00:37:26 |
Once I was your age, |
| 00:37:27 |
just as quiet on the inside |
| 00:37:31 |
Quiet as a mouse. |
| 00:37:33 |
Or a stone. |
| 00:37:36 |
Or a bowl of pudding. |
| 00:37:38 |
And then I saw my first debate |
| 00:37:41 |
None of you novices |
| 00:37:44 |
Until then, the thing |
| 00:37:46 |
is there are rules |
| 00:37:49 |
That's debate. |
| 00:37:50 |
And that's life. |
| 00:37:52 |
Our exercise today is an accelerated |
| 00:37:56 |
to teach you |
| 00:37:57 |
Why is the Hal Hefner |
| 00:37:59 |
allowed to |
| 00:38:01 |
Uh, he's first year, |
| 00:38:03 |
has assured me that |
| 00:38:05 |
and a rare talent, and he will |
| 00:38:09 |
Our debate begins with |
| 00:38:11 |
delivering an eight-minute |
| 00:38:13 |
For our purposes, Ginny will |
| 00:38:17 |
Good afternoon, |
| 00:38:21 |
Our Affirmative case today |
| 00:38:22 |
that increased |
| 00:38:24 |
will eventually bankrupt |
| 00:38:26 |
and result in |
| 00:38:28 |
Therefore, we will quadruple the |
| 00:38:30 |
that teach abstinence |
| 00:38:32 |
That was lucid, thank you. |
| 00:38:34 |
Now there's a two-minute |
| 00:38:36 |
Second Negative |
| 00:38:37 |
Crystal Hamish-Steinberg |
| 00:38:39 |
Crystal Hamish-Steinberg, would you |
| 00:38:42 |
that you would ask? |
| 00:38:43 |
Have you ever heard |
| 00:38:46 |
The perfect tease. |
| 00:38:48 |
Now the women may sit |
| 00:38:51 |
to respond to Ginny. |
| 00:38:54 |
Rather than attack |
| 00:38:55 |
Crystal Hamish-Steinberg and I propose |
| 00:38:58 |
We grant all the harms |
| 00:39:00 |
but state that the better way |
| 00:39:03 |
is by pouring money into |
| 00:39:05 |
that we'll call the |
| 00:39:07 |
Thank you. |
| 00:39:09 |
Now the First Affirmative |
| 00:39:13 |
Do you have statistics on how many |
| 00:39:17 |
How many rock stars in the historic |
| 00:39:18 |
Concert for Bangladesh were Bangladeshi? |
| 00:39:20 |
I'll ask the questions |
| 00:39:22 |
The combatants |
| 00:39:23 |
Now Hal Hefner wows us |
| 00:39:27 |
another eight-minute speech |
| 00:39:35 |
Uh... |
| 00:39:37 |
There were three immediate |
| 00:39:39 |
that came to mind. |
| 00:39:42 |
The plans are not |
| 00:39:45 |
Increased funding for |
| 00:39:47 |
doesn't preclude the |
| 00:39:49 |
"Concert for Sexlessness. " |
| 00:39:51 |
The government can |
| 00:39:53 |
Uh, the... |
| 00:40:03 |
Hal Hefner visualized |
| 00:40:06 |
as the kind of kid |
| 00:40:08 |
"The plans are not |
| 00:40:10 |
whenever he wants |
| 00:40:12 |
The plans are not |
| 00:40:14 |
The plans are not... |
| 00:40:16 |
they are not |
| 00:40:24 |
I'll be handling Hal Hefner's |
| 00:40:26 |
until the first actual debate |
| 00:40:27 |
tournament against other actual schools. |
| 00:40:29 |
Until then, he will be my |
| 00:40:49 |
Do you know what I sounded |
| 00:40:51 |
when I was your age? |
| 00:40:54 |
Ben told me I sounded like |
| 00:40:56 |
I don't... |
| 00:40:58 |
I'm not even really... |
| 00:41:00 |
I'm not even quite sure |
| 00:41:10 |
That was your first try, |
| 00:41:12 |
your first of many. |
| 00:41:13 |
And I don't even think |
| 00:41:16 |
It really... it wasn't |
| 00:41:22 |
So... |
| 00:41:24 |
we should get back. Well, I |
| 00:41:49 |
Resolved that |
| 00:41:51 |
should support the teaching |
| 00:41:55 |
Resolved! |
| 00:41:57 |
The motherf'ing federal government |
| 00:41:59 |
should support the teaching of |
| 00:42:01 |
in motherf'ing, |
| 00:42:09 |
Resolved! |
| 00:42:13 |
Do you... |
| 00:42:18 |
do you know how, um... |
| 00:42:20 |
you, or one, |
| 00:42:23 |
would take a relationship |
| 00:42:27 |
I'm glad you came |
| 00:42:29 |
this is exactly the sort of |
| 00:42:32 |
would royally screw up. |
| 00:42:35 |
See, it's all about |
| 00:42:37 |
which they will |
| 00:42:41 |
If you have a plan, like |
| 00:42:42 |
"Today, I'm getting a blowjob," |
| 00:42:44 |
it helps you to |
| 00:42:47 |
It's all |
| 00:42:49 |
Mm-hm. |
| 00:42:51 |
I'm... I'm... I'm |
| 00:42:53 |
that giving me a... a BJ |
| 00:42:56 |
is high on Ginny's list. |
| 00:43:01 |
You're her partner, |
| 00:43:03 |
So you wait until |
| 00:43:08 |
Like after you crack a good... |
| 00:43:11 |
like the one that I crack |
| 00:43:13 |
and then ask. |
| 00:43:15 |
It is totally worth the risk. |
| 00:43:16 |
And you never know. |
| 00:43:17 |
Once you've had a blowjob, |
| 00:43:20 |
It's like... |
| 00:43:21 |
it's like walking |
| 00:43:27 |
You know, Ginny said that |
| 00:43:29 |
her, um, her real partner |
| 00:43:32 |
And that until then, |
| 00:43:34 |
the mascot. |
| 00:43:37 |
The disfluent mascot. |
| 00:43:40 |
The disfluent mascot who's |
| 00:43:44 |
Like the aardvark. |
| 00:43:49 |
No, that... |
| 00:43:52 |
There is no... there isn't |
| 00:43:57 |
I, for some reason, was convinced |
| 00:44:01 |
No. |
| 00:44:05 |
C'est la vie. |
| 00:44:16 |
Hey, uh, |
| 00:44:18 |
I just... |
| 00:44:24 |
What? |
| 00:44:25 |
Oh, uh, I |
| 00:44:27 |
I wanted to try, uh, |
| 00:44:29 |
It's, well, uh... it's, |
| 00:44:32 |
is kind of tricky, so... |
| 00:44:37 |
What happens is that |
| 00:44:41 |
goes onto this... this |
| 00:44:44 |
Listen, I'm almost done |
| 00:44:46 |
It's Thomas Aquinas. |
| 00:44:49 |
But if you continue telling |
| 00:44:51 |
I'm gonna put this book down |
| 00:44:59 |
You know, some... well, |
| 00:45:02 |
and then... then everything |
| 00:45:34 |
Mas... mas... |
| 00:45:36 |
uh, masturbation is a natural precursor |
| 00:45:39 |
and it should be unfettered |
| 00:45:41 |
Johnson, '98. |
| 00:45:43 |
Her plans changed. |
| 00:45:44 |
Virginia says to keep |
| 00:45:46 |
and she'll call you to let you know |
| 00:45:49 |
Well, because the Hazlet |
| 00:45:52 |
Just keep on keeping on |
| 00:46:05 |
Hi, there. |
| 00:46:07 |
Do you know... do you know |
| 00:46:09 |
Because she |
| 00:46:11 |
and we have a... we have |
| 00:46:14 |
at Hazlet High School, and all |
| 00:46:17 |
And I... and, uh, she hasn't... |
| 00:46:21 |
told me what her strategy |
| 00:46:24 |
deal with my... |
| 00:46:26 |
She got into a Lincoln |
| 00:46:41 |
- And you're back. |
| 00:46:44 |
Because Lewis Garrles |
| 00:46:46 |
said she got into a |
| 00:46:48 |
A boy, that's right. |
| 00:46:49 |
- So, she... but she's fine? |
| 00:46:52 |
You, could... |
| 00:46:54 |
that... that I'm done and over |
| 00:46:58 |
Tell her that, will you? |
| 00:47:00 |
that I'm... that I'm... |
| 00:47:02 |
that I'm done with masturbation |
| 00:47:05 |
You take care now. |
| 00:47:12 |
I told Judge Pete about all |
| 00:47:15 |
with debate, |
| 00:47:17 |
Heston's a joiner. |
| 00:47:22 |
Uh, yeah, um... |
| 00:47:25 |
it's... it's too late, |
| 00:47:27 |
The, um... |
| 00:47:29 |
the teams have |
| 00:47:32 |
Coach Lumbly said that after |
| 00:47:34 |
someone always gets creamed |
| 00:47:37 |
So, I'll be |
| 00:47:39 |
whomevers that may be. |
| 00:47:41 |
To discover opportunity |
| 00:47:44 |
in misery: |
| 00:47:47 |
There's sense |
| 00:47:49 |
That's how |
| 00:48:01 |
Hello? |
| 00:48:05 |
Uh... |
| 00:48:08 |
Virgil? |
| 00:48:11 |
Uh! |
| 00:48:13 |
Uh... |
| 00:48:15 |
Uh, uh... |
| 00:48:17 |
uh, this is, uh... |
| 00:48:20 |
this is, uh... |
| 00:48:23 |
Hal Hefner for, um... |
| 00:48:26 |
call... I'm... |
| 00:48:29 |
G- I-N-N-Y... |
| 00:48:32 |
Hold the line. |
| 00:48:36 |
Hi, Ginny. It's Hal. |
| 00:48:39 |
Hey, Hef here. |
| 00:48:42 |
Hal? |
| 00:48:43 |
Uh, yeah... |
| 00:48:47 |
She says she'll see you at |
| 00:48:50 |
Okay, well, |
| 00:48:51 |
we... um, I really... |
| 00:48:54 |
we... I really... |
| 00:48:57 |
practice with her. |
| 00:48:58 |
She'll see you then. |
| 00:49:00 |
Hello? |
| 00:49:03 |
Good morning, Judge. |
| 00:49:04 |
Good morning, our esteemed opponents. |
| 00:49:06 |
N... let's... |
| 00:49:09 |
Let's begin with our plan. |
| 00:49:13 |
That the federal |
| 00:49:16 |
Shut the mumbling, Susie. |
| 00:49:18 |
But do not stop working, |
| 00:49:20 |
the whole Hefner family fails |
| 00:49:23 |
So do not do it! |
| 00:49:26 |
Uh... |
| 00:49:29 |
good morning there, |
| 00:49:30 |
good morning, |
| 00:49:55 |
When you work |
| 00:49:57 |
so hard, |
| 00:50:00 |
Wallace, you always tell me balance out, |
| 00:50:02 |
balance out, balance out... |
| 00:50:03 |
What are you |
| 00:50:06 |
Ginny Ryerson has transferred |
| 00:50:09 |
for the rest |
| 00:50:13 |
We have an even number so, Hal, |
| 00:50:14 |
you'll muddle through today with Heston |
| 00:50:16 |
and we'll reconstitute |
| 00:50:20 |
Let's go, Wallace. |
| 00:50:46 |
Would you like to tell me |
| 00:50:50 |
Or would you rather |
| 00:51:53 |
Uh... |
| 00:51:56 |
good... good... |
| 00:52:00 |
Good, uh... good... |
| 00:52:02 |
good morning to you, |
| 00:52:05 |
both, you, our |
| 00:52:08 |
Good morning, uh... |
| 00:52:20 |
The... |
| 00:52:22 |
ab... ab... |
| 00:52:29 |
That, uh... |
| 00:52:30 |
resolved that... that... |
| 00:52:32 |
that... that... that... |
| 00:52:35 |
that it, uh... |
| 00:52:38 |
How much time, timer? |
| 00:52:48 |
Yeah, hello? |
| 00:52:49 |
Mr... Mr... uh... |
| 00:52:53 |
Hal? |
| 00:52:56 |
It's... it's, uh... |
| 00:52:58 |
well, it's funny |
| 00:53:01 |
Um, I've... I'm just... |
| 00:53:05 |
I'm at... I'm at... |
| 00:53:08 |
Hazlet High School, |
| 00:53:10 |
And spent the last... |
| 00:53:14 |
I spent the last seven minutes |
| 00:53:16 |
trying... trying to |
| 00:53:19 |
- Oh, man. |
| 00:53:21 |
Well, there's that video I gave you, |
| 00:53:23 |
"Singing Instead of Talking. " |
| 00:53:25 |
Yeah, did, uh... did rat poison |
| 00:53:30 |
Well, my ex-girlfriend, |
| 00:53:33 |
she used to say her brother never |
| 00:53:37 |
You could try the accent |
| 00:53:39 |
and maybe that |
| 00:53:42 |
Well, anyway, I |
| 00:53:44 |
Mina's advice was about |
| 00:53:46 |
You know, open |
| 00:53:49 |
don't work, Hal. |
| 00:53:51 |
What? |
| 00:53:53 |
Uh, I'm advising... |
| 00:53:55 |
that you should |
| 00:53:58 |
- Okay? |
| 00:54:00 |
you won't see... |
| 00:54:03 |
'Cause I'll already be... |
| 00:54:06 |
I'll probably be |
| 00:54:10 |
Can you hold on |
| 00:54:22 |
Okay, I should... |
| 00:54:24 |
I should, mayb... |
| 00:54:26 |
I should probably go. |
| 00:54:49 |
Good afternoon, |
| 00:54:51 |
esteemed opponents |
| 00:54:54 |
Good afternoon. |
| 00:54:59 |
let's, uh... |
| 00:55:01 |
let's get, uh, down and... |
| 00:55:05 |
shall we, with this... |
| 00:55:07 |
this thing... this thing... |
| 00:55:18 |
Excuse me, I'm... |
| 00:55:20 |
I'm... I'm... |
| 00:55:21 |
I'm... |
| 00:55:27 |
Slice of pizza or |
| 00:55:29 |
and I don't want |
| 00:55:30 |
I'll take the pizza. |
| 00:55:36 |
Townsend Prep's just a really, |
| 00:55:41 |
Slice of pizza |
| 00:55:43 |
and I don't want to |
| 00:55:45 |
Pizza, two slices. |
| 00:55:48 |
Slice of pizza, Sloppy Joes, |
| 00:55:49 |
and I don't want to debate about it. |
| 00:55:51 |
Um... |
| 00:55:53 |
I'll... |
| 00:55:55 |
not the... the, um... |
| 00:55:58 |
- the, um... |
| 00:56:00 |
Sloppy Joes are |
| 00:56:02 |
But they're not that terrible if you've |
| 00:56:07 |
Thank you, ma'am. |
| 00:56:25 |
She's not here. |
| 00:56:28 |
Ginny and I don't |
| 00:56:30 |
draws blood |
| 00:56:42 |
...will cause |
| 00:57:21 |
I just... |
| 00:57:24 |
I don't really know |
| 00:57:28 |
Well, um, |
| 00:57:31 |
So... |
| 00:57:33 |
Okay. |
| 00:57:40 |
I want to read, also, |
| 00:57:44 |
about Virginia. |
| 00:57:46 |
"Virginia may be |
| 00:57:51 |
How about that? |
| 00:57:54 |
First place, |
| 00:57:56 |
Virginia Ryerson. |
| 00:58:09 |
Where's the trophy? |
| 00:58:17 |
Thank you. |
| 00:58:28 |
Hal Hefner, |
| 00:58:41 |
I'm gonna regroup. |
| 00:58:43 |
Um, let's be |
| 00:58:46 |
and think about who |
| 00:58:48 |
a little time |
| 00:58:51 |
Ginny recruited me. |
| 00:58:56 |
Okay? |
| 00:59:00 |
intuited that I... |
| 00:59:03 |
that my... that my brain |
| 00:59:06 |
I mean, you can't even... |
| 00:59:07 |
you can't even ask me a question |
| 00:59:09 |
without my brain |
| 00:59:13 |
It's... it's full |
| 00:59:15 |
Do you know |
| 00:59:18 |
who doesn't speak more |
| 00:59:22 |
Or Evie Spedarsky, |
| 00:59:24 |
who has such pronounced |
| 00:59:26 |
that she's being studied |
| 00:59:29 |
No. |
| 00:59:30 |
What about |
| 00:59:32 |
the boy who pees |
| 00:59:34 |
Well, everybody knows... |
| 00:59:36 |
Elvis. |
| 00:59:38 |
She tried to |
| 00:59:40 |
Never crossed my mind that this |
| 00:59:45 |
but, when you |
| 00:59:47 |
looks pretty pat. |
| 01:00:15 |
Your mom's running late |
| 01:00:18 |
Hey, now. |
| 01:00:21 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:00:25 |
Oh, Jesus! |
| 01:00:27 |
Man, oh man! |
| 01:00:29 |
The most Heston ever hauled in |
| 01:00:32 |
in the Hip-hop |
| 01:00:34 |
But this is too much |
| 01:00:37 |
On behalf of your dad... |
| 01:00:46 |
This goes on the dining room table |
| 01:00:50 |
Whoo! |
| 01:01:29 |
My dad told me I was |
| 01:01:32 |
for not realizing |
| 01:01:35 |
Please accept my |
| 01:01:51 |
- Hello? |
| 01:01:54 |
Fern didn't say anything |
| 01:01:57 |
I get paid |
| 01:02:32 |
She can't be |
| 01:03:03 |
Resolved! |
| 01:03:29 |
Sylvia, no tip |
| 01:03:38 |
Fuck! |
| 01:03:59 |
There's a cello |
| 01:04:51 |
I hate you! |
| 01:04:53 |
Mommy and |
| 01:04:55 |
Daddy hates you! |
| 01:04:57 |
Melody, Daddy's new |
| 01:05:01 |
That bottle was reposado, |
| 01:05:05 |
Uncle Chaz spent |
| 01:05:07 |
Uncle Chaz hates you! |
| 01:05:17 |
That's all I wanted |
| 01:05:21 |
There's pineapple cake |
| 01:05:25 |
If you're late I'll eat the whole cake, |
| 01:05:50 |
Maybe you should put the |
| 01:05:54 |
all a... |
| 01:05:58 |
We all have 'em. |
| 01:06:00 |
Mine was cheerleading. |
| 01:06:05 |
I was the one boy |
| 01:06:08 |
Imagine that, huh? |
| 01:06:10 |
Give me a "H," uh-uh-uh. |
| 01:06:13 |
uh-uh-uh. |
| 01:06:15 |
What does that spell? |
| 01:06:18 |
That... that image is... |
| 01:06:22 |
is not really helping. |
| 01:06:24 |
Just... just because |
| 01:06:28 |
I mean, you know, |
| 01:06:31 |
doesn't mean |
| 01:06:33 |
It's the activity |
| 01:06:36 |
Hey, there's nothing to say you |
| 01:06:40 |
You could be Spanish Club |
| 01:06:43 |
Kyle Felowitz |
| 01:06:47 |
Yeah. |
| 01:06:48 |
My point, Hal, |
| 01:06:50 |
you have to get out |
| 01:06:53 |
go back to living the way |
| 01:06:56 |
your... your limitations. |
| 01:07:06 |
Hal Hefner floated |
| 01:07:08 |
saw the world around him |
| 01:07:12 |
floating through. |
| 01:07:13 |
Nothing could |
| 01:07:15 |
Nothing could move him |
| 01:07:20 |
He was that kind |
| 01:07:21 |
The kind that |
| 01:07:28 |
...observation 1-A. |
| 01:07:31 |
Diversion is the norm. |
| 01:07:35 |
Quoting from the |
| 01:07:38 |
The root cause of sexual |
| 01:07:42 |
As a boy ghost, |
| 01:07:44 |
Hal Hefner surveyed |
| 01:07:46 |
And in everything he saw |
| 01:07:50 |
with or without love. |
| 01:07:53 |
He had stopped |
| 01:07:56 |
had stopped |
| 01:07:59 |
or, even if that wasn't |
| 01:08:01 |
had stopped dreaming |
| 01:08:05 |
Well, maybe |
| 01:08:12 |
Then spring came... |
| 01:08:13 |
11 months after |
| 01:08:16 |
six months since |
| 01:08:19 |
and six since |
| 01:08:43 |
Over and over again! |
| 01:08:45 |
- Just stop! |
| 01:08:47 |
Be buddies with yourself! |
| 01:08:52 |
Boys... |
| 01:08:54 |
your mom and I are over. |
| 01:08:55 |
That's according to her. |
| 01:08:56 |
She said that it was all her, |
| 01:09:00 |
- and could we be buddies? |
| 01:09:03 |
adult relationship. |
| 01:09:05 |
This is why |
| 01:09:07 |
You're just so |
| 01:09:29 |
Shit! |
| 01:09:31 |
Good God! |
| 01:09:56 |
Mommy! Mommy! |
| 01:09:59 |
This is gonna turn out |
| 01:10:01 |
Virginia Ryerson, please |
| 01:10:04 |
Virginia Ryerson, you have |
| 01:10:14 |
Are you her |
| 01:10:16 |
You look like you could |
| 01:10:20 |
I'm... I'm her ex-lover. |
| 01:10:23 |
Take a seat. She'll be with you |
| 01:10:35 |
So how far did you |
| 01:10:41 |
Does... does it count |
| 01:10:44 |
when it's groping |
| 01:10:47 |
Maybe in public school. |
| 01:10:50 |
What are you doing here? |
| 01:10:53 |
Oh, uh, uh... |
| 01:10:56 |
I... |
| 01:10:58 |
I have, uh... it's |
| 01:11:01 |
I have... |
| 01:11:05 |
Okay. |
| 01:11:09 |
I'm going back to |
| 01:11:12 |
Wait... I'm... I'm |
| 01:11:16 |
It belongs |
| 01:11:19 |
and it's important |
| 01:11:23 |
It's your Hazlet trophy. |
| 01:11:29 |
I had a bad night, |
| 01:11:33 |
I don't want the trophy. |
| 01:11:35 |
I'm... I'm gonna go back to class. |
| 01:11:36 |
You need to leave. |
| 01:11:37 |
Wait... every... |
| 01:11:39 |
everybody has |
| 01:11:41 |
And, uh... |
| 01:11:48 |
Security, please report |
| 01:11:50 |
Need you to deal with a... |
| 01:11:52 |
stuttering boy |
| 01:11:55 |
It was like he was |
| 01:11:58 |
pretending that it could |
| 01:12:01 |
But it can't. |
| 01:12:02 |
You can only pretend for so |
| 01:12:05 |
take that away from you. |
| 01:12:11 |
Just like that, |
| 01:12:13 |
and he found |
| 01:12:15 |
It was ridiculous, |
| 01:12:24 |
You don't let love collapse all around |
| 01:12:28 |
You punch back, |
| 01:12:30 |
unless you can find someone |
| 01:12:34 |
Then, by all means, |
| 01:12:40 |
Yeah? |
| 01:12:43 |
Uh, I'm... I'm here from |
| 01:12:46 |
and I've... I've, uh... |
| 01:12:51 |
Wait in the front |
| 01:12:53 |
My shift ends |
| 01:12:55 |
Oh, I care to. |
| 01:12:56 |
Yeah, well, that's fine. |
| 01:13:08 |
That's God |
| 01:13:13 |
God does dry-cleaning. |
| 01:13:16 |
He wears a smock. |
| 01:13:29 |
Man, it's a blessing to |
| 01:13:32 |
out of the |
| 01:13:36 |
Suck the marrow right |
| 01:13:39 |
And it takes years |
| 01:13:41 |
in the big city to inject |
| 01:13:44 |
literal years. |
| 01:13:46 |
You... you mean, |
| 01:13:50 |
is... is Trenton? |
| 01:13:52 |
That's right... |
| 01:13:55 |
Oh. |
| 01:13:57 |
Did Ginny send you? |
| 01:13:59 |
Oh no, she doesn't... she doesn't... |
| 01:14:02 |
- Lumbly? |
| 01:14:04 |
Because if this is part of a grand |
| 01:14:09 |
You smell that |
| 01:14:13 |
That'll be what you |
| 01:14:14 |
on your way back to |
| 01:14:19 |
Wait. The thing is, |
| 01:14:21 |
what I want... what I want... |
| 01:14:24 |
You don't even know me. |
| 01:14:27 |
You... you do realize |
| 01:14:30 |
you're like a legend |
| 01:14:33 |
Right, I'm the next |
| 01:14:35 |
Who is... |
| 01:14:37 |
He. He supposedly drove |
| 01:14:41 |
into the cafeteria |
| 01:14:43 |
There's a plaque somewhere next to |
| 01:14:48 |
Well... |
| 01:14:49 |
I'm... I'm gonna be |
| 01:14:54 |
And that's... that's not gonna |
| 01:14:57 |
than to win... |
| 01:15:03 |
You're gonna |
| 01:15:05 |
Yes. |
| 01:15:07 |
Well... well... well, |
| 01:15:09 |
we are, yes. |
| 01:15:13 |
It's so pointless. |
| 01:15:15 |
That's the realization |
| 01:15:19 |
Life is nothing |
| 01:15:22 |
the same thing |
| 01:15:24 |
Somebody might |
| 01:15:25 |
and that's supposed to |
| 01:15:27 |
but there's no such thing. |
| 01:15:30 |
are the fights you |
| 01:15:32 |
Yeah, well be... |
| 01:15:34 |
Sure. |
| 01:15:36 |
Be that as it may. |
| 01:15:38 |
Wait, it's not some |
| 01:15:41 |
that is... that's like the driving |
| 01:15:43 |
force here, or any bullshit. |
| 01:15:44 |
I'm sure. |
| 01:16:02 |
No, uh, do you want |
| 01:16:04 |
Yeah. What |
| 01:16:08 |
what it... |
| 01:16:11 |
uh, it's, uh... |
| 01:16:14 |
is, uh, is... |
| 01:16:16 |
no, what... what it |
| 01:16:19 |
it's... |
| 01:16:21 |
Well, if it's |
| 01:16:24 |
then it's the need |
| 01:16:27 |
when... when love |
| 01:16:29 |
It's one of those two, |
| 01:16:32 |
I'm not really sure |
| 01:16:33 |
But it's one of |
| 01:16:35 |
that made me throw a cello |
| 01:16:37 |
So you figure it out. |
| 01:16:38 |
An actual cello? |
| 01:16:41 |
I mean, like, yeah, like |
| 01:16:47 |
You know, that's pretty |
| 01:16:49 |
as far as reasons go. |
| 01:16:51 |
Yeah, it took |
| 01:16:54 |
but you know, |
| 01:16:58 |
Have I got this right? |
| 01:16:59 |
Your contention is that |
| 01:17:02 |
You, an inexperienced kid with |
| 01:17:05 |
me, not having debated |
| 01:17:06 |
and having no knowledge |
| 01:17:08 |
In support of this, |
| 01:17:10 |
that you threw a cello |
| 01:17:13 |
It's charming, |
| 01:17:15 |
But is it persuasive? |
| 01:17:17 |
Why not make the case |
| 01:17:19 |
that, A: Allowing me to return |
| 01:17:22 |
will tie up that loose end |
| 01:17:24 |
free from any of |
| 01:17:25 |
That charitable |
| 01:17:27 |
would be the lifeblood |
| 01:17:28 |
even, perhaps especially in places |
| 01:17:31 |
And C: That while this life |
| 01:17:33 |
to the wretchedness |
| 01:17:35 |
it's also not quite what |
| 01:17:38 |
and maybe I miss some of |
| 01:17:42 |
Yeah, I mean, |
| 01:17:50 |
This goes against |
| 01:17:53 |
It does. But what we'll |
| 01:17:56 |
and one all-purpose |
| 01:17:58 |
We can't do a year's worth |
| 01:18:00 |
so we'll concentrate on |
| 01:18:02 |
You'll have to arrange |
| 01:18:04 |
do you have parents? |
| 01:18:06 |
Oh, yeah, |
| 01:18:08 |
a mom that I see |
| 01:18:11 |
and I see my dad |
| 01:18:13 |
You'll have to come to some |
| 01:18:15 |
or else let go of trying to |
| 01:18:16 |
so that you can spend |
| 01:18:18 |
We'll register as |
| 01:18:20 |
My grandmother will sign |
| 01:18:21 |
whatever official paperwork is required. |
| 01:18:22 |
But all such considerations |
| 01:18:24 |
and that's finding |
| 01:18:37 |
Suddenly, Trenton was |
| 01:18:40 |
no longer a dead end |
| 01:18:43 |
Trenton: |
| 01:18:45 |
The very city |
| 01:18:51 |
Fire when ready! |
| 01:18:55 |
This isn't... this isn't |
| 01:18:57 |
very good for |
| 01:18:59 |
I can't hear you! |
| 01:19:01 |
It's... it's |
| 01:19:05 |
Fine. |
| 01:19:08 |
What should I say? |
| 01:19:10 |
Give me your standard |
| 01:19:13 |
Yeah. |
| 01:19:15 |
You know, I haven't really said it |
| 01:19:19 |
for it to be standard. |
| 01:19:21 |
Throw me the cello! |
| 01:19:24 |
Uh... |
| 01:19:30 |
Let's get down and dirty. |
| 01:19:31 |
Let's get down... |
| 01:19:34 |
Let's... let's get... |
| 01:19:35 |
let's get, uh... |
| 01:19:37 |
let's get... |
| 01:19:39 |
uh, okay, let's just... |
| 01:19:46 |
It's a riddle. |
| 01:19:48 |
Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:19:49 |
What it is is one of |
| 01:19:51 |
where one of us having an advanced |
| 01:19:57 |
I won't whisper. |
| 01:19:59 |
It's a trick, |
| 01:20:01 |
it's crap. |
| 01:20:05 |
And I won't... |
| 01:20:07 |
however good... |
| 01:20:09 |
however good I |
| 01:20:11 |
So that just leaves... |
| 01:20:14 |
that's just singing. |
| 01:20:16 |
Singing my speeches. |
| 01:20:18 |
And then... |
| 01:20:20 |
arran... arranging to |
| 01:20:23 |
have my... my... |
| 01:20:25 |
have my ashes scattered |
| 01:20:28 |
over the Plainsboro |
| 01:20:36 |
You know, I've... |
| 01:20:39 |
I've thought about |
| 01:20:41 |
and, uh... |
| 01:20:43 |
I don't think |
| 01:20:45 |
the song thing. |
| 01:20:47 |
This is |
| 01:20:49 |
We might prefer something |
| 01:20:51 |
but this is the only piece |
| 01:20:53 |
What you're gonna do |
| 01:20:55 |
is just learn the song well |
| 01:20:58 |
to let it flow through you |
| 01:20:59 |
as you speak-sing |
| 01:21:01 |
And we'll write |
| 01:21:35 |
We think our case |
| 01:21:37 |
that sex is bound |
| 01:21:40 |
- Abs... abstinence is the catalyst... |
| 01:21:43 |
- Breathe first. |
| 01:21:48 |
...to... to support |
| 01:21:51 |
- a far-ranging... platform. |
| 01:21:59 |
Go away! |
| 01:22:09 |
That's Dad's. |
| 01:22:11 |
I thought you could use |
| 01:22:13 |
one with an actual handle. |
| 01:22:15 |
I swear, Penelope, |
| 01:22:17 |
without someone in this family |
| 01:22:21 |
Could I have |
| 01:22:23 |
If... if I win today, |
| 01:22:25 |
could we say... |
| 01:22:28 |
you... you'll stop calling me |
| 01:22:30 |
Could we say that, if I win? |
| 01:22:34 |
Let's not push it, |
| 01:22:36 |
Besides, Penelope's |
| 01:22:40 |
All right, well, |
| 01:22:42 |
maybe just leave it |
| 01:22:47 |
Yeah, we can do that. |
| 01:23:02 |
Thank you and welcome |
| 01:23:04 |
to the 43rd Annual New Jersey |
| 01:23:07 |
There are 22 schools |
| 01:23:10 |
from every region |
| 01:23:15 |
Every preliminary round |
| 01:23:17 |
will take place |
| 01:23:19 |
in the adjacent |
| 01:23:21 |
You'll only return to this auditorium |
| 01:23:23 |
for the final round |
| 01:23:25 |
and the presentation |
| 01:23:27 |
Now, before we begin, |
| 01:23:29 |
I want you to give yourselves |
| 01:23:39 |
That's right. |
| 01:23:42 |
Now, pairings for the first |
| 01:23:45 |
Then they're weighted |
| 01:23:48 |
Would you sign this? |
| 01:23:51 |
It's my favorite |
| 01:23:53 |
It says that abstinence |
| 01:23:56 |
in mental health. |
| 01:24:03 |
Aren't you that Chinese boy? |
| 01:24:10 |
I'm K-Korean, yes. |
| 01:24:12 |
And just... just so... just so |
| 01:24:17 |
it's really ignorant to lump us |
| 01:24:26 |
You all can't win, |
| 01:24:28 |
but you are all winners. |
| 01:25:38 |
You think our case |
| 01:25:40 |
is bound to be explored, |
| 01:25:42 |
that adding funds |
| 01:25:44 |
is what I will |
| 01:25:48 |
But such a case has been |
| 01:25:51 |
Our plan is, thus, |
| 01:25:59 |
Our... our... |
| 01:26:02 |
our... our... |
| 01:26:03 |
our government can best |
| 01:26:06 |
by refraining from |
| 01:26:10 |
Instead of telling us |
| 01:26:13 |
they should adopt this plan: |
| 01:26:16 |
Amend the Constitution |
| 01:26:19 |
can serve in government, |
| 01:26:22 |
We'll... we'll... |
| 01:26:24 |
and it won't cost a penny. |
| 01:26:26 |
That's our basic plan. |
| 01:26:29 |
What we'll... |
| 01:26:30 |
what we'll do is create |
| 01:26:32 |
where teenagers are only... are... are |
| 01:26:34 |
the only... the only |
| 01:26:36 |
By doing so... we'll help... |
| 01:26:38 |
a... a wider consensus |
| 01:26:40 |
It's a more... it's a more dem... |
| 01:26:43 |
it's a more democratic system |
| 01:26:45 |
the very basis for love |
| 01:26:48 |
as we'll argue below |
| 01:26:52 |
Now, please... |
| 01:26:54 |
contingent... |
| 01:26:57 |
Now... now... now, this one's |
| 01:26:59 |
the whole... the kinda... |
| 01:27:02 |
because... uh, because |
| 01:27:03 |
that have "sexologist" in them |
| 01:27:05 |
it doesn't... it doesn't |
| 01:27:09 |
But it basically... |
| 01:27:12 |
The role... the role |
| 01:27:18 |
Gentlemen, come with me. |
| 01:27:28 |
- Ben. |
| 01:27:30 |
The bow tie, |
| 01:27:33 |
- Yes, sir, it stirs the pot a little. |
| 01:27:37 |
- No, don't do that. |
| 01:27:40 |
I'm... I'm... I'm like... |
| 01:27:42 |
I'm a minute into my... |
| 01:27:44 |
And, uh... well, uh... |
| 01:27:46 |
well, I've... well, uh... |
| 01:27:53 |
Aren't I killing? |
| 01:27:55 |
I've heard worse. |
| 01:27:58 |
She's... |
| 01:28:01 |
There was an objection raised |
| 01:28:03 |
And the New Jersey League officials |
| 01:28:05 |
and it doesn't feel altogether |
| 01:28:08 |
You're not home-schooled, |
| 01:28:11 |
And working most days |
| 01:28:14 |
means that you're not either. |
| 01:28:15 |
You've been barred |
| 01:28:18 |
You're welcome to stay |
| 01:28:33 |
You know, we... we, uh... |
| 01:28:38 |
might have actually |
| 01:28:42 |
Probably not if you really |
| 01:28:48 |
So that's... |
| 01:28:50 |
uh... so that's... |
| 01:28:55 |
Come and visit me |
| 01:28:58 |
We'll reminisce about this |
| 01:29:31 |
Teen sexual experimentation |
| 01:29:38 |
Well, uh... uh... |
| 01:29:45 |
today was not my day. |
| 01:29:47 |
But... but, uh... |
| 01:29:50 |
some... someday will be. |
| 01:29:53 |
you... you will be |
| 01:29:57 |
At home. |
| 01:29:59 |
And you'll... you'll |
| 01:30:02 |
when you're alone |
| 01:30:03 |
that... that... that... |
| 01:30:05 |
I knew him when. |
| 01:30:07 |
Him being me. |
| 01:30:11 |
Anarchy is not only the best system |
| 01:30:14 |
it is also the best system in which |
| 01:30:16 |
Don't you dare go thinking |
| 01:30:19 |
If you think my feelings |
| 01:30:21 |
then you'd be underestimating |
| 01:30:22 |
And while I see that you |
| 01:30:24 |
you actually have me |
| 01:30:26 |
in part, modesty |
| 01:30:27 |
but in large part... for your newfound |
| 01:30:30 |
That was very clever |
| 01:30:33 |
Surprisingly clever |
| 01:30:35 |
Which means that I upped |
| 01:30:39 |
You're welcome! |
| 01:30:41 |
Liberation breeds liberation, i. e. |
| 01:30:42 |
Sexual freedom |
| 01:30:44 |
At the heart of all liberty |
| 01:32:03 |
Sir? |
| 01:32:05 |
I will have one of... |
| 01:32:07 |
I'll have one of the... |
| 01:32:09 |
I'll have |
| 01:32:10 |
the... of... |
| 01:32:12 |
one of your... |
| 01:32:14 |
I'll have a slice |
| 01:32:17 |
the... the... |
| 01:32:19 |
I mean, you can |
| 01:32:21 |
because you don't |
| 01:32:24 |
At least I hope not. |
| 01:32:27 |
It's good. Um... |
| 01:32:30 |
but I'll have a slice |
| 01:32:32 |
one of your... um, |
| 01:32:36 |
the... the... the pizza. |
| 01:32:43 |
You can pay me |
| 01:32:45 |
You know, why don't |
| 01:32:47 |
not... not just... |
| 01:32:50 |
not one slice, but, uh, |
| 01:32:52 |
I'll have... I'll have... |
| 01:32:53 |
not one. |
| 01:32:55 |
I'm gonna close up in a bit. |
| 01:32:57 |
Why don't you just |
| 01:32:59 |
Otherwise they're |
| 01:33:03 |
Yes! |
| 01:33:07 |
Thank you. |
| 01:33:42 |
Eventually, |
| 01:33:45 |
And the memory of it |
| 01:33:47 |
and fantasy |
| 01:33:51 |
until it was hard |
| 01:33:52 |
what he was |
| 01:33:54 |
When he still carried |
| 01:33:57 |
a madeup perfect voice, |
| 01:34:00 |
the voice that could |
| 01:34:02 |
the voice he used |
| 01:34:05 |
until the day he stopped wishing |
| 01:34:08 |
and just started |
| 01:34:29 |
You okay? |
| 01:34:30 |
Yeah, I'm okay. |
| 01:34:32 |
But, uh, listen... |
| 01:34:38 |
what do you... |
| 01:34:40 |
I mean, what are |
| 01:34:43 |
like on... on... |
| 01:34:45 |
on love? |
| 01:34:47 |
Oh, man, it's so late, Hal. |
| 01:34:50 |
I, um... |
| 01:34:51 |
I couldn't find |
| 01:34:56 |
And I ended up |
| 01:35:00 |
And, uh... |
| 01:35:02 |
I don't even know if I know |
| 01:35:07 |
You know, |
| 01:35:10 |
shouldn't... it really |
| 01:35:13 |
uh... shouldn't |
| 01:35:18 |
Sometimes, I don't know, |
| 01:35:22 |
I guess I just |
| 01:35:26 |
it all starts |
| 01:35:31 |
All what? |
| 01:35:33 |
All this. |
| 01:35:37 |
Oh. |
| 01:35:40 |
Well, I guess |
| 01:35:43 |
you see, when you |
| 01:35:46 |
and you're in Jersey, |
| 01:35:50 |
or someplace just like it, |
| 01:35:52 |
and... |
| 01:35:54 |
you stop trying |
| 01:35:57 |
You just... |
| 01:36:01 |
are glad |
| 01:36:04 |
Oh. |
| 01:36:07 |
And that... |
| 01:36:09 |
that just, like, happens |
| 01:36:12 |
Yeah. Pretty much. |
| 01:36:16 |
But you let me know if it |
| 01:36:19 |
I'll do that. |
| 01:36:22 |
I'll find... |
| 01:36:24 |
a... a way... a g... |
| 01:36:27 |
some good way |
| 01:36:29 |
of letting you know |
