Saraband

en
00:00:52 Johan became a multimillionaire
00:00:57 An old Danish aunt...
00:00:59 who had been a renowned
00:01:03 left him a fortune.
00:01:08 Once he became financially
00:01:17 He bought his grandparents'
00:01:24 A run-down chalet in an
00:01:32 Johan and I
00:01:37 with each other
00:01:42 Our daughters are far away,
00:01:50 Martha lives in a home,
00:01:53 sinking in the isolation
00:01:57 I visit her now and then,
00:02:02 And Sarah... Sarah married
00:02:06 and then moved to Australia where
00:02:13 They don't have any children.
00:02:18 Me?
00:02:24 I still practice my profession,
00:02:30 Family quarrels and divorces mostly.
00:02:42 I've been thinking I
00:02:49 ONE
00:05:32 I've been thinking...
00:05:43 And now I'm here.
00:05:48 He's sitting there,
00:05:53 And I've been standing here,
00:05:58 waiting,
00:06:04 Maybe I should have ignored
00:06:12 This trip.
00:06:16 In fact,
00:06:24 But here I am...
00:06:29 And so I must decide:
00:06:31 Slowly return to my car...
00:06:41 or get close to him.
00:06:45 Of course, I could stay
00:06:53 and let my confusion abate.
00:06:57 But not very long.
00:07:08 This minute is taking its time.
00:07:15 33 seconds...
00:07:23 47 seconds...
00:07:31 55 seconds...
00:07:55 No!
00:08:01 - Did I wake you?
00:08:05 - Hi!
00:08:11 - Typical, you were spying on me.
00:08:17 We haven't seen each other in 30 years.
00:08:21 - We simply lost track of
00:08:26 People start together,
00:08:28 then they separate
00:08:31 - and finally silence.
00:08:34 - ¿Was that a reproach?
00:08:40 Then suddenly you call me
00:08:45 - You didn't sound very keen.
00:08:51 I still say no. I don't want this.
00:08:57 - I had to come.
00:09:01 - I won't tell you.
00:09:06 Johan...
00:09:09 I've driven 340 km....
00:09:12 and managed to find your hideout...
00:09:16 in the middle of the jungle.
00:09:18 Now that I've seen and kissed you
00:09:24 That won't be enough.
00:09:30 - At least you can stay over
00:09:34 A week ago,
00:09:37 that my ex wife was coming
00:09:40 I can't tell her suddenly that there'll
00:09:48 - Who's Mrs. Nilsson?
00:09:52 Are you and her a couple?
00:09:57 God forbid!
00:10:04 The two of you live all alone here
00:10:09 Mrs. Nilsson lives in
00:10:12 She cleans and cooks
00:10:20 - She's religious and mean.
00:10:27 To be honest,
00:10:33 I fear that she might want to marry me.
00:10:39 She's made up the guest room,
00:10:42 so you have to stay
00:10:48 I suppose I better accept.
00:10:52 It's so hard to get up from
00:10:59 What's wrong, Johan?
00:11:03 I'm trying to put
00:11:06 Want to hug me?
00:11:18 Damn, Johan!
00:11:24 Old idiot!
00:11:26 - And how old are you?
00:11:32 - 86.
00:11:38 Around 55.
00:11:42 - I'm 63.
00:11:50 And I've had my uterus
00:11:58 - Does that trouble you?
00:12:04 Let's sit on the bench.
00:12:07 It's so beautiful!
00:12:09 When beauty is revealed...
00:12:14 Where is the source, the giver?
00:12:19 - I didn't know you knew some psalms.
00:12:24 And my grandfather rewarded me
00:12:32 We can enjoy the view,
00:12:35 - hold hands...
00:12:39 - Didn't we used to do it?
00:12:43 I haven't done it since...
00:12:54 You really have
00:12:58 Can you see the lake
00:13:01 You can see the light reflected,
00:13:08 I drove by the lake house
00:13:13 You could say that.
00:13:18 Yes, Henrik. Mi dear son.
00:13:24 - Are you on speaking terms?
00:13:28 I got a brief letter declaring that
00:13:34 He and his daughter Karin have
00:13:39 You don't have much contact then.
00:13:43 Absolutely. A cordial conversation
00:13:48 - Fat boy Henrik!
00:13:54 - My God!
00:14:01 - And his daughter Karin?
00:14:06 Her mother died of
00:14:12 - Anna...
00:14:15 Anna and Henrik were
00:14:19 He couldn't take her death.
00:14:26 I heard they were happy
00:14:30 He felt mistreated there.
00:14:36 - Like you, at that age.
00:14:40 Well, yes, I was a bit fed up
00:14:47 My honorary doctorate
00:14:50 finished all that.
00:14:56 He directs an orchestra called
00:15:01 But he'll quit that also.
00:15:04 He must do something.
00:15:06 I think he's writing a book.
00:15:11 - What about the daughter? Karin?
00:15:17 She'll audition for the
00:15:20 Henrik is teaching her.
00:15:22 They sit in the house with
00:15:26 You could say she's beautiful.
00:15:35 Yes.
00:15:43 So...I know nothing
00:15:52 - Sarah is in Australia.
00:15:58 - Yes, Australia. - Well, she
00:16:04 I get letters and
00:16:09 She's fine. A good
00:16:14 - Sarah's happy with her life.
00:16:20 Martha's sinking further and further.
00:16:29 She's no longer aware, in
00:16:33 I understand...
00:16:39 - And you?
00:16:43 Though sometimes, I see myself
00:16:46 and I think I'm in hell.
00:16:49 Like I'm dead,
00:16:52 But I'm fine.
00:16:55 I've plagiarized my past now that
00:17:02 Doesn't sound like fun.
00:17:04 That's it, Marianne.
00:17:07 And who the hell said
00:17:12 - What does your "page of answers
00:17:18 - I asked the question, didn't I?
00:17:24 A stupid and totally senseless life.
00:17:29 Is our marriage part
00:17:35 - To be honest, yes.
00:17:40 An old priest once told me:
00:17:43 "A good relationship has two elements:
00:17:47 a good friendship
00:17:51 Nobody can say that
00:17:58 - Good friends.
00:18:03 - You were unfaithful. - I...
00:18:09 - It's so sad.
00:18:12 - It's still painful.
00:18:16 No, I suppose not.
00:18:20 - Dearest Marianne.
00:18:25 Yes, it's what I say.
00:18:32 Holding hands,
00:18:36 - Without talking about painful things.
00:18:44 Dinner! Mrs. Nilsson
00:18:51 Johan, I need to wash up
00:19:10 This was a mistake!
00:19:13 TWO
00:19:25 Are you Karin? Do you want
00:19:30 Your grandfather and Mrs. Nilsson
00:19:39 I'm Marianne. I was your granddad’s
00:19:45 - I know.
00:19:54 If you want, you can help me
00:19:59 Here's a knife.
00:20:05 If you want to talk, we'll talk.
00:20:11 You must know Henrik,
00:20:14 Can't say I do. I've just greeted him,
00:20:20 - Mom is dead.
00:20:24 - She died two years ago.
00:20:31 - Dad retired and is spending his time
00:20:38 He's writing about
00:20:42 - You also play the cello?
00:20:49 - Your father is the teacher
00:21:02 What's wrong?
00:21:06 Do you know Hindemith's
00:21:10 I don't know anything about music.
00:21:14 Dad wants me to play it
00:21:18 - It's too hard!
00:21:21 How were you in the days
00:21:27 A premenstrual monster.
00:21:30 I would go to sleep as an angel,
00:21:38 My mind gets shattered.
00:21:42 Dad is a morning person.
00:21:47 And I yawned.
00:21:50 We were working on
00:21:56 That damned Hindemith wrote:
00:22:00 "Lebhafte Viertel ohne jeden
00:22:07 - You know?
00:22:12 So I sat there with my
00:22:18 I begged him to let me off
00:22:23 He made me play the same part
00:22:28 Finally I said. quietly:
00:22:34 I said that it wasn't a class,
00:22:39 Henrik was also angry,
00:22:42 try from the beginning, where it says:
00:22:46 "Lebhaft, sehr markiert...
00:22:50 I was so angry that I couldn't.
00:22:56 I said that he didn't have the
00:23:01 Dad is the most patient, sensitive and
00:23:08 He said it had nothing to
00:23:12 but rather with willpower
00:23:15 and that I was lazy.
00:23:23 Then I got up and left the
00:23:30 I said that it was enough for the day
00:23:45 He turned pale.
00:23:52 And he said:
00:23:57 I put my boots on and
00:24:03 I didn't hear him approach,
00:24:08 You're not leaving!
00:24:15 You're not leaving!
00:26:12 I sat and cried.
00:26:16 And I said: "Never again,
00:26:23 ...never again".
00:26:26 And kept crying
00:26:34 Then I thought of coming over to see
00:26:39 leave that lunatic.
00:26:46 Now the old man can take
00:26:53 send him to the farm,
00:26:57 or kill him.
00:27:07 Then I became aware that
00:27:16 I know nothing about my life,
00:27:28 Then I realized
00:27:34 and I can't ask her anything.
00:27:39 I was overcome with sorrow for
00:27:56 You must think I'm a very
00:28:03 - Do you think Henrik is suicidal?
00:28:11 In an extreme situation like
00:28:16 could he hurt himself?
00:28:19 You know, to be honest,
00:28:26 I only know that deep
00:28:31 If not, mom never...
00:28:35 Mom loved him, you know?
00:28:41 And I suppose I was
00:28:48 That's what I think when I'm feeling sorry for
00:28:55 Why can't I feel love
00:29:04 Were you afraid your dad would
00:29:09 I never gave his
00:29:14 But I tried to take care of mom,
00:29:21 Mom was never very talkative.
00:29:28 But on one of her last days...
00:29:31 She was always drowsy
00:29:37 On one of her last days,
00:29:45 she looked at me and said clearly:
00:29:50 "You know I love you".
00:29:55 "You know I love you, Karin".
00:30:04 My mother never spoke that way.
00:30:10 Dad once said as a joke,
00:30:14 "Anna never says I love you, but
00:30:26 - What if grandfather comes back?
00:30:48 - Were you really married to grandpa?
00:30:54 It's hard to imagine it.
00:31:00 Good question.
00:31:03 - Did you love him? - I've asked myself
00:31:09 - Was he so difficult?
00:31:16 Then we got divorced.
00:31:20 an idiot named Paula.
00:31:24 I got married again to
00:31:30 One day, he just flew away.
00:31:35 They never found him.
00:31:42 For some reason, Johan and I
00:31:47 Then I found out
00:31:52 another lady,
00:31:57 I was angry and hurt
00:32:02 I suddenly realized,
00:32:05 that I was the most cheated on
00:32:11 Johan was remarkably and
00:32:18 - You mean that my grand father
00:32:23 And he used to write poems. A volume got
00:32:30 - My grandfather used to write verses?
00:32:37 - Did you keep them?
00:32:39 But did you love him?
00:32:48 I was terribly naive.
00:32:53 Nowadays, I suppose it's just
00:33:00 and so know-it-all like I was.
00:33:09 I think I loved him.
00:33:17 - You never suspected?
00:33:23 - What made you come here
00:33:32 You still love him!
00:33:38 If you had to be honest,
00:33:48 I hear people say Johan
00:33:56 not very kind things usually.
00:34:00 But I don't know the Johan
00:34:06 I always thought he was a good man.
00:34:14 It was so easy to hurt him,
00:34:26 I believe that Johan...
00:34:31 is a moving person.
00:34:37 He's moving.
00:34:41 - Are you crying?
00:34:46 Are you crying for granddad?
00:34:54 - I'm crying for Johan
00:35:06 This is strange.
00:35:20 Dear...
00:35:26 - What will you do?
00:35:30 - Is that intelligent?
00:35:35 I'll stay here a few more days.
00:35:42 I will.
00:35:53 THREE
00:36:14 It can't happen again.
00:36:17 - Never again.
00:36:21 We must have a serious talk.
00:36:23 We both know how things are.
00:36:31 I'm glad it's so simple!
00:36:36 I was scared to death.
00:36:38 There's no other way to put it:
00:36:43 - Do you understand? - I'm very
00:36:55 - Are you asleep?
00:37:18 Once I had a similar
00:37:25 We weren't married yet,
00:37:32 Maybe I was a little drunk.
00:37:39 the damned university,
00:37:43 my colleagues,
00:37:46 And then about my father,
00:37:53 Anna didn't say a word.
00:38:01 I remember thinking...
00:38:04 "What's on Anna's mind,
00:38:12 "What's she thinking? Maybe
00:38:21 And then she said it.
00:38:25 "When you're like this,
00:38:27 I start thinking that you're
00:38:36 Then she went to the living
00:38:41 I tried to stop her.
00:38:44 but a message got through
00:38:48 It said "I'm leaving...
00:38:54 Then I said, with a voice that was
00:39:06 "Nobody leaves me"
00:39:14 "Nobody turns his back on me
00:39:23 I sat on the floor and
00:39:44 I shut my eyes and thought:
00:40:02 But then I heard her
00:40:07 She was making coffee.
00:40:13 But she didn't say a word.
00:40:22 She didn't say anything for the rest
00:40:31 Anna was the silent type
00:40:39 But we didn't need to speak;
00:40:47 I begged her to forgive me.
00:40:50 Like a child to his mother:
00:40:57 It's just what I want to say to you,
00:41:04 Anyone can say "I'm sorry",
00:41:12 So no further words
00:41:18 It became a...
00:41:30 Anna sunk into a deep sleep: I
00:41:39 I watched her, a street light
00:41:46 I gazed at her for a long time and
00:41:52 how much I loved her.
00:42:05 Between Anna and me it was a question
00:42:12 An ownership that was...
00:42:22 There's no better word.
00:42:29 I fell asleep as dawn approached,
00:42:34 we got up, had breakfast
00:42:39 I went to a class
00:42:51 This is an explanation:
00:42:56 I have no excuses.
00:43:04 If you leave me...
00:43:08 I’ll be ruined, or some other
00:43:14 In due time, you'll have your freedom.
00:43:18 With professional teachers
00:43:27 It'll be different for me also.
00:43:39 These months with you have
00:43:48 For me, that is,
00:43:53 It was kind of you
00:43:58 I don't know what to say.
00:44:04 We don't have to
00:44:18 Sometimes I feel a great
00:44:50 FOUR
00:44:52 About a week later,
00:45:01 "Kierkegaard, S.
00:45:21 - Am I interrupting?
00:45:27 It's been a long time.
00:45:33 - How are you?
00:45:41 At 60 there's 6 things wrong with you,
00:45:45 It's a good evaluation: Of course,
00:46:07 - I heard about your ex wife's unexpected visit.
00:46:12 She's always known I
00:46:18 - Maybe I can see her.
00:46:22 I don't know if you'll be
00:46:27 - I don't mean to disturb you.
00:46:36 What do you want?
00:46:45 I need 890,000 kroner.
00:46:50 - You need money again.
00:46:54 - That you haven't even begun to pay back.
00:46:59 I'm sure I'll never
00:47:03 It's funny to
00:47:08 If humiliating me amuses you,
00:47:11 I'm not paying rent
00:47:19 We've been there for five months
00:47:26 But you were able
00:47:28 It's a loan.
00:47:33 When he returns in October,
00:47:40 - How's the book going?
00:47:47 That's a thorough answer.
00:47:53 I've been here ten minutes,
00:47:58 If I didn't need the money,
00:48:03 You can leave now.
00:48:20 It's not for me.
00:48:26 I see...
00:48:32 Are you trying to make her stay?
00:48:35 Do you think she'll accept a bribe?
00:48:39 I wonder how Anna
00:48:43 Don't bring Anna into this.
00:48:47 Don't you dare mention
00:48:52 I like you more or dislike you
00:48:58 There's a healthy dose of
00:49:16 It's like this:
00:49:19 There's a cello I can buy Karin;
00:49:24 It's an excellent instrument,
00:49:28 Karin has a special talent,
00:49:36 I took care of her instruction,
00:49:38 but her talent calls for more.
00:49:44 Her German cello is passable,
00:49:48 but she'll audition
00:49:52 Are you sure it's good?
00:49:56 It wouldn't be the first
00:50:00 It has an authenticity certificate
00:50:02 - and the seller is decent.
00:50:10 He's old and sick and can't
00:50:16 - He said it's perfect for her.
00:50:40 Dad, where does all this
00:50:47 Speak for yourself. When you were
00:50:56 You had been very ill and your
00:51:02 I told you I knew I had been a bad father,
00:51:10 And you screamed.
00:51:15 Bad father?!
00:51:20 Then you said you could
00:51:26 Honest hate must be respected;
00:51:33 But I couldn't care less if
00:51:40 If it wasn't for Karin,
00:51:45 you wouldn't exist at all for me.
00:51:51 There's no hostility here, I swear.
00:51:56 Give me the name and number
00:52:25 - Here you are.
00:52:39 - What's your answer?
00:52:46 Can I go?
00:52:51 I'm leaving.
00:52:56 - Can I just say one thing?
00:53:06 That tale of an argument
00:53:15 Poor Anna.
00:53:19 Will you hit me now?
00:53:27 FIVE
00:55:22 I hope I'm not interrupting.
00:55:26 No, I've just finished.
00:55:32 The organist is expecting:
00:55:37 - I thought you played the cello.
00:55:42 In my time,
00:55:46 There were a lot of churches
00:55:50 What were you playing?
00:55:51 A Bach sonata for a trio.
00:55:58 - It was beautiful.
00:56:06 Nobody knows how it ended up here,
00:56:13 A few weeks ago, Karin and I
00:56:16 It was almost full.
00:56:19 - Will you be playing any more concerts?
00:56:22 Karin has to prepare her audition
00:56:27 Yes, I'm writing a book about
00:56:35 I met Karin.
00:56:41 She's considered exceptional,
00:56:45 - Are you her teacher?
00:56:50 In the conservatory, she'll
00:56:55 - Won't it be difficult to let her go?
00:57:04 You could say that.
00:57:07 - Do you love her a lot?
00:57:11 - I'm sorry.
00:57:19 - Karin is like Anna.
00:57:24 What's wrong?
00:57:31 Whenever I mention Anna,
00:57:37 I can't help it.
00:57:41 She's been dead for two years and
00:57:50 That's the way it is.
00:57:59 Life itself has become a ritual.
00:58:06 I don't know, I can't find
00:58:11 I've become a handicapped person.
00:58:15 Just like that.
00:58:25 Karin is everything that
00:58:30 And so...
00:58:35 It wouldn't have much
00:58:48 I think a lot about
00:58:53 I think:
00:58:58 One day I'll walk through
00:59:04 A foggy, windless autumn day.
00:59:10 Absolute silence.
00:59:16 Then I see someone
00:59:22 Coming towards me. She's
00:59:28 A blue jacket...
00:59:32 She's barefoot and her hair
00:59:38 And she's walking towards me.
00:59:44 Anna is walking towards me,
00:59:54 And then I realize I'm dead.
01:00:00 Then something strange happens.
01:00:04 I think: "Is it this easy?"
01:00:10 We spend life thinking about
01:00:18 And then it's so easy.
01:00:25 I can see a flickering light
01:00:34 - I think I understand.
01:00:38 - We're good cooks.
01:00:44 I have to go now,
01:00:49 Karin gets angry
01:00:52 - See you soon.
01:00:58 - I understand. The old man
01:01:02 - Why did you come here?
01:01:11 You're a lawyer, right?
01:01:18 - Why would you want to do that?
01:01:27 He's probably mummified
01:01:32 I asked him for an advance on my
01:01:39 I'd love to sue him.
01:01:41 Not while he's
01:01:44 - He's not ill in that sense.
01:01:49 Are you here to ask for money
01:01:56 Don't get angry.
01:02:00 You haven't had
01:02:04 I'm not here to ask for money.
01:02:08 Are you fucking?
01:02:12 Do you hate him so much to
01:02:16 Forgive me for desecrating this
01:02:26 I hate him in all possible
01:02:30 I hate him so much, I would like to
01:02:36 I'd visit him every day,
01:02:45 Maybe I'm just a pathetic
01:02:53 I see surprise and displeasure
01:02:57 As a lawyer,
01:03:01 the stupidity and repulsiveness
01:03:08 Goodbye, Marianne. It was nice
01:03:16 Sometimes I think I'm insane.
01:05:20 SIX
01:06:43 - Karin!
01:06:50 - Well... this is my study.
01:06:56 You and Anna would come sometimes,
01:07:02 - You used to smoke then.
01:07:07 I stopped when I read
01:07:10 33 operations for a mouth cancer.
01:07:14 - And even then he couldn't stop smoking.
01:07:19 Unless you consider
01:07:24 - That's a beautiful picture of mom.
01:07:31 I had it blown up...
01:07:38 I think of mom every day.
01:07:44 I thought the pain would subside.
01:07:50 But it doesn't hurt like in the
01:07:57 Like a part of me.
01:08:03 I can say I miss her,
01:08:09 We didn't see each other very often,
01:08:16 Anna tried and tried.
01:08:19 But Henrik and I never
01:08:23 - You wanted to speak to me?
01:08:28 Last night, Mrs. Nilsson came
01:08:34 Meaning that dad shouldn't...
01:08:36 That was all right.
01:08:38 He's in Uppsala with his orchestra.
01:08:42 I have here a letter that came a
01:08:49 - Have you heard of Ivan Chablov?
01:08:58 He toured here recently with
01:09:02 I've known him since my years in
01:09:10 "Johan, my dear friend and brother".
01:09:15 "Sorry for writing in my
01:09:21 "but my excellent secretary
01:09:24 has just had twins".
01:09:30 "It's very important that I
01:09:36 "For the following reason:"
01:09:40 "On a free night, I went to a
01:09:46 "I must say I was
01:09:51 "A young female cellist was playing...
01:09:56 "a Zoltan Kodaly solo piece."
01:10:01 "And I was surprised by that
01:10:07 -"Her maturity, her skill
01:10:16 "The school gave me her name...""
01:10:19 "and told me her father
01:10:22 "I got in touch with him,
01:10:27 "maybe arrogantly is a better word."
01:10:32 "My dear Johan,
01:10:36 her grandfather.""
01:10:38 "And that's the reason why
01:10:43 "The young lady's technique is
01:10:49 "which could result in
01:10:56 "I'm a guest professor at
01:11:03 "One of the best in Europe."
01:11:06 "I have a good rapport
01:11:09 "And we could, after
01:11:15 "offer our young cellist
01:11:23 that her talent
01:11:30 Let me know your answer as soon
01:11:38 So, Karin, what do you say?
01:11:42 that I'll take care of all your
01:11:50 I've spoken to the cello seller:
01:11:56 More than he was asking for.
01:11:59 So if you want it, it's yours.
01:12:02 Assuming, of course, that you
01:12:09 I don't know what to say.
01:12:15 I understand this letter puts
01:12:21 - I'll write him and tell him
01:12:26 But that your decision
01:12:31 - Others?
01:12:37 I need to rest.
01:12:40 Thanks for the chat.
01:12:47 Marianne used to say that I was
01:12:51 That I didn't understand emotions.
01:13:01 Your mother lived
01:13:04 to do the most unbearable chore.
01:13:06 Darkness got even darker...
01:13:09 and light faded away
01:13:12 It's hard for Henrik. To live.
01:13:15 You're like your mother.
01:13:19 And I'm fond of you, Katja.
01:13:24 - Goodbye, Karin.
01:14:36 SEVEN
01:15:37 - To Henrik from Anna?
01:15:47 May 18. Anna...
01:15:51 wrote it one week
01:15:54 I'd like you to read it.
01:16:01 I can't understand Anna's handwriting.
01:16:07 I'll try.
01:16:20 Mom had found out a
01:16:23 that she didn't have
01:16:27 She wrote the letter because
01:16:29 and wasn't allowed to visit her.
01:16:34 It says:
01:16:39 "The fact that you can't
01:16:43 a relief for both".
01:16:46 "We understand each other well.
01:16:52 "I make an effort.
01:16:56 "But I still see in your
01:17:08 This is the difficult part.
01:17:13 - She writes about dad and me.
01:17:18 Yes.
01:17:22 When you were with
01:17:25 did you speak about
01:17:29 - No, never.
01:17:44 "Dear Henrik, I have to tell you
01:17:53 "I've wanted to talk
01:17:57 "But it was never necessary
01:18:04 "Then I got sick
01:18:09 "Of course I was there,
01:18:17 "You and I love each other.
01:18:27 "But no love is strong enough...
01:18:30 to stand a devastating
01:18:38 "I see that you love Karin, but that
01:18:45 "It's good that you were her
01:18:52 "When I'm no longer there,
01:18:57 "I know that Karin loves you".
01:19:02 "But you mustn't use her love.
01:19:10 "That could be a permanent wound".
01:19:16 "That's why I ask
01:19:22 "You shouldn't take
01:19:27 "Don't take advantage of her because
01:19:36 "Dearest Henrik".
01:19:40 "You're so sensitive,
01:19:47 "I know it, without a doubt,
01:19:54 "But you must be careful
01:19:59 with the orphaned love that will remain
01:20:08 There's more,
01:20:14 I can't.
01:20:19 I can hear my mother's voice!
01:20:29 Karin...
01:20:32 Why did you reach out to me?
01:20:37 - You're very involved.
01:20:43 - And you know about granddad’s
01:20:48 I don't expect advise,
01:20:54 I believe things will
01:20:58 Go ahead, speak.
01:21:03 - Mom saw.
01:21:10 And everything she warned
01:21:15 - I can't accept grandfather's
01:21:22 If I leave Henrik, he'll die!
01:21:26 If I leave him, he'll die...
01:21:31 He doesn't even have
01:21:36 He can go on with his music,
01:21:41 and dad will not be part of
01:21:50 I can't leave him.
01:21:56 I know all the things
01:22:03 But mom is dead, and Henrik
01:22:08 How do you think I'd feel with the
01:22:16 My future and Henrik's
01:22:23 - At least you say "for now".
01:22:32 - I want you to know that I don't
01:22:50 - Anna's love...
01:22:58 Isn't it?
01:23:06 I don't know.
01:23:09 EIGHT
01:23:21 - Back already? - There wasn't
01:23:26 - Hi, dad.
01:23:35 What score is that?
01:23:38 Bach's suites for cello!
01:23:43 Listen, Anderberg suggested
01:23:46 play a concert in November.
01:23:51 - It's very hard for me.
01:23:56 - What do you mean together?
01:24:02 You'll play the parts you can handle
01:24:06 Especially the prelude.
01:24:12 - Which parts can I play?
01:24:17 - It takes a lifetime to tame them.
01:24:24 - And my audition?
01:24:28 And students get permission
01:24:32 I've spoken to Börtz.
01:24:35 It'll be good for the both of us,
01:24:45 I won't even be the first
01:24:50 - Dad! You must be furious!
01:24:56 But now I'll have
01:24:59 - I can help you better.
01:25:08 That doesn't sound
01:25:14 Hello, Katja, darling.
01:25:31 I have a feeling an
01:25:42 - What's wrong, Katja?
01:25:49 That is, I think I know,
01:26:27 I know you've talked
01:26:32 - And with the bitch, I mean Marianne.
01:26:38 - I see. You did it beautifully.
01:26:45 - I thought you had already done that.
01:26:49 Really? I mean,
01:26:56 Dad...
01:27:00 I thought, "Dad knows
01:27:15 Perhaps you've already made
01:27:21 Will you accept your
01:27:34 - Have you read this?
01:27:39 - You read the letter that mom
01:27:44 But it was for me!
01:27:49 Do you think that's all right
01:27:55 If you're going to get so upset,
01:28:00 I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:28:03 - I said I'm sorry, damn it!
01:28:08 Shall we get to work?
01:28:22 Dad...
01:28:24 It'll be painful.
01:28:27 For you or for me?
01:28:29 It may sound stupid,
01:28:32 I've made up my mind. For the first
01:28:39 - But are you sad?
01:28:47 If you had told me you
01:28:52 If you had let me read it,
01:29:00 You never told me...
01:29:11 - Well, that's the way it is.
01:29:20 Next week, I'm going
01:29:25 She and I will be going to a school
01:29:31 Claudio Abbado will come in
01:29:42 It's for young people from all over Europe.
01:29:50 Abbado will work with us for six weeks
01:29:56 Emma recorded a video. She sent it
01:30:03 We played Brahms.
01:30:06 Emma and I
01:30:09 which says the school accepts us.
01:30:15 That we're welcome.
01:30:19 And that...
01:30:23 That's exactly
01:30:29 And it's exactly what
01:30:35 And the conservatory?
01:30:46 - How long is the Hamburg course?
01:30:53 Then there's a paid internship in
01:30:59 Three years.
01:31:03 - How will you pay for it?
01:31:10 - You've been thinking a lot.
01:31:15 That you had already decided.
01:31:25 God...
01:31:29 Oh God...
01:31:37 But dad, I don't want to...
01:31:43 I want to play in an orchestra,
01:31:50 Not sit down in a stage,
01:31:55 I don't want strangers to say
01:32:01 I want to decide my own future.
01:32:07 I want to be... home.
01:32:14 Not a poor substitute for mom...
01:32:17 who gets your praise
01:32:22 It has to end.
01:32:27 And now it's ended.
01:32:36 At least,
01:32:40 What are you talking about?
01:32:51 Wouldn't you like to
01:32:56 - Right now?
01:34:16 NINE
01:34:20 He's here.
01:34:26 Thank you.
01:34:30 - Can I ask who it was?
01:34:35 Henrik tried to commit suicide.
01:34:39 Then he cut his arms
01:34:44 He's in intensive care.
01:34:46 Call this number and
01:34:51 - God. - They found him
01:34:56 A certain Mrs. Berg
01:34:59 - and saw a naked person
01:35:06 The door was unlocked.
01:35:09 She tried to wake him up,
01:35:14 And bleeding. The ambulance
01:35:20 I should call Karin,
01:35:27 Henrik systematically fails at everything.
01:35:35 - Say something, for God's sake.
01:35:40 - Whatever. Say something spontaneous
01:35:48 Sometimes you act like
01:35:51 in some stupid old movie.
01:35:54 - You're not real.
01:36:00 - Right now... no, let's leave it.
01:36:06 Where did you gather
01:36:10 I didn't remember you like this.
01:36:12 - Disdain?
01:36:15 I don't know. Any disdain
01:36:20 I don't know.
01:36:26 - And the poor boy?
01:36:31 Ah, Henrik. Maybe he realized
01:36:38 I was never like him. So ridiculous
01:36:44 He surrounded me with a sticky love.
01:36:51 He was as dedicated as a dog.
01:37:04 - What will happen now?
01:37:09 - She'll blame herself.
01:37:16 - Do you think she'll return home?
01:37:23 - You'll speak to her, won't you?
01:37:28 I'll hire you as my agent.
01:37:33 Money is no problem.
01:37:35 As long as you put her
01:37:39 What if she comes?
01:37:45 - That would be disastrous!
01:37:58 What can I say?
01:38:03 I was so close to Anna.
01:38:07 It was terrible when she left.
01:38:12 Even though I was on the
01:38:21 It's incomprehensible that Henrik...
01:38:24 had the privilege
01:38:28 And that she loved him.
01:38:34 - You're smiling ironically.
01:38:39 I'm not smiling.
01:38:46 There's no reason for you to cry.
01:38:48 There is, but I won't
01:38:56 TEN
01:40:40 Marianne.
01:40:43 Marianne!
01:40:48 It's all right.
01:40:53 - What's wrong? Johan?
01:40:59 - I think it's anguish.
01:41:09 - I see! You're sad!
01:41:14 It's worse. It's an anguish
01:41:21 It's trying to make way through
01:41:24 my eyes, my ass. It's like a huge
01:41:38 I'm too small for this anxiety.
01:41:41 Are you afraid of death, Johan?
01:41:43 More than anything,
01:41:46 What can you do with a baby
01:41:52 - Come, lay by my side.
01:41:58 - We've slept in smaller beds.
01:42:03 It doesn't matter. Not in
01:42:08 I have to take off my shirt.
01:42:13 Come on.
01:42:21 You take it off too.
01:42:24 Yes
01:42:58 Come on, Johan.
01:43:08 There... lie down.
01:43:24 - Good night, Marianne.
01:43:45 Could you explain why
01:43:49 - I thought you were calling me.
01:43:54 - I had it in my head.
01:43:59 I understand your not understanding.
01:44:04 - How long will you stay?
01:44:10 - November?
01:44:17 - Good night, again.
01:44:25 Perhaps you're asking
01:44:30 I stayed with Johan
01:44:34 Our time together
01:44:39 We almost never talked about
01:44:45 The last night we celebrated.
01:44:48 Nothing out of this world,
01:44:52 We promised to remain in touch.
01:44:56 I think we even fantasized
01:44:59 the next spring.
01:45:02 That trip never
01:45:05 But we used to speak on
01:45:13 Then, one day Mrs. Nilsson
01:45:18 She said that Johan
01:45:22 but that he would write.
01:45:25 I asked if he was all right;
01:45:31 That he was just tired and
01:45:35 I never got a letter, of course.
01:45:39 I wrote him, but never got an answer.
01:45:43 That's all I know.
01:45:47 Things are always all
01:45:50 Everything in its place. Maybe I'm a
01:46:01 Sometimes... I think of Anna.
01:46:07 I wonder how she
01:46:19 How she spoke...
01:46:25 How she moved...
01:46:29 Her look...
01:46:33 That almost surreal smile.
01:46:42 Anna's feelings.
01:46:48 Anna's love.
01:46:59 Well...
01:47:03 Something happened to me that
01:47:13 When I came back, I visited
01:48:51 But I thought about
01:48:59 that for the first
01:49:08 I realized...
01:49:15 that I was touching my daughter.
01:49:20 My baby.