Semi Pro

en
00:00:01 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:00:06 # Baby, who's ready to lick me sexy? #
00:00:12 # Baby, we're naked
00:00:17 # Love me sexy! #
00:00:27 # Come on, girl. Yeah #
00:00:30 # It's me, Jackie Moon #
00:00:32 # Give me that look, that's right #
00:00:35 # Let's get sweaty,
00:00:38 # I'm talkin' rainforest sweaty #
00:00:41 # I'm talkin' swamp sweaty #
00:00:44 # Let's fill the bathtub full of sweat,
00:00:49 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:00:55 # Baby are you ready to lick me sexy? #
00:01:02 # Baby, wake up, we're naked #
00:01:04 # And we're humpin' sexy #
00:01:08 # Come on, girl #
00:01:09 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:01:14 # Love me sexy #
00:01:15 # Baby, are you ready
00:01:20 # Lick me sexy #
00:01:21 # Take off your shoes
00:01:24 # Suck, suck,
00:01:26 # Baby, we're naked
00:01:30 - # Whoo! #
00:01:33 # I wanna do a little thing wit' you #
00:01:35 # I wanna do a little thing
00:01:38 # When I say "love me"
00:01:41 # Love me #
00:01:43 - Sexy.
00:01:46 Get it goin'.
00:01:50 I see some ladies up there
00:01:52 Jackie Moon soaking up
00:01:55 as he finishes up his
00:01:59 I'm Dick Pepperfield joined,
00:02:01 by former Tropics forward
00:02:04 Yeah, I might suit up tonight.
00:02:06 Sometimes I still dream of glory, Dick.
00:02:09 Well, sometimes dreams
00:02:13 What's your problem?
00:02:14 And now, the starting lineup...
00:02:16 for your Flint, Michigan Tropics!
00:02:21 At Ball Girl, measuring 34-23-34...
00:02:27 she hopes to be
00:02:29 I don't think she can do it.
00:02:31 Put your hands together for Melinda!
00:02:36 Go Tropics!
00:02:38 From South Bend, Indiana...
00:02:39 this guy has a heart of gold,
00:02:43 He reads to him
00:02:46 Scootsie Doubleday!
00:02:49 Scootsie Doubleday
00:02:52 Yeah, his brother
00:02:53 Ronnie Doubleday.
00:02:54 He has all three
00:02:57 This guy is single
00:03:01 but you could be the lucky girl
00:03:04 Six foot five!
00:03:06 Twiggy Munson!
00:03:08 Of course he's disease-free.
00:03:09 What chick wants to be with a guy
00:03:11 Well, that's not true.
00:03:13 that they actually prefer a small penis.
00:03:15 Show me one gal who says that
00:03:17 I'll introduce you to
00:03:20 Oh, Jesus, here we go.
00:03:21 Your man in the middle...
00:03:22 seven foot two...
00:03:24 from a weird country called Lithuania.
00:03:27 He's ugly as shit.
00:03:29 - Vakidis!
00:03:33 - This fella scares me.
00:03:35 That little kid from the Jackson Five,
00:03:37 Oh, mark my words, Lou...
00:03:39 there's something creepy
00:03:41 Bobby Dee, where's Clarence?
00:03:43 - Nobody's heard from him.
00:03:44 Bee Bee!
00:03:46 You're startin'.
00:03:47 From Peoria, Illinois...
00:03:49 this guy,
00:03:51 He's got the hottest girl in the world,
00:03:54 Cannons, people.
00:03:55 Big ol' boobies.
00:03:57 The luckiest man in Flint...
00:04:03 Well, it's true about
00:04:05 She has got a tremendous set of boobs.
00:04:07 To me, they're too large.
00:04:08 Oh, they're perfect.
00:04:10 I don't know, they... To me
00:04:13 And now, the moment
00:04:16 At six foot five,
00:04:21 your pregame announcer,
00:04:24 your pop singing sensation,
00:04:28 your power forward...
00:04:29 yours truly, Jackie Moon!
00:04:35 All right!
00:04:36 Jackie Moon
00:04:38 a fantastic introduction.
00:04:40 - Yeah, why not, Dick?
00:04:41 It's his team, his money and
00:04:45 Oh, speaking of money, Lou,
00:04:48 No.
00:04:49 You lose weight, Father Pat?
00:04:50 Fuck off, Jackie.
00:04:51 All right, guys, huddle up.
00:04:55 What is he doin'?
00:04:58 Listen, I promised these fans
00:05:00 Twiggy, if you get a dunk tonight
00:05:03 - We'll get that on the news.
00:05:04 Let's bring it in,
00:05:07 Tropical!
00:05:08 Go Tropics!
00:05:11 Right here, right here, right here!
00:05:13 I don't like it.
00:05:15 Back! Back!
00:05:16 Clear!
00:05:19 - Danny, what are ya doin'?
00:05:22 You get 'em from the concession stand?
00:05:23 - Nah, I brought 'em from home.
00:05:26 No, no, no, no, no.
00:05:27 Oh, come on!
00:05:29 - What?
00:05:30 He brought nachos from home.
00:05:32 - You can't call that.
00:05:34 if you're gonna move.
00:05:35 What are you talkin' about?
00:05:36 - Basketball rules.
00:05:38 I got season tickets.
00:05:41 Oh, yeah?
00:05:43 And this.
00:05:45 And that!
00:05:48 Let's go, Trops!
00:05:51 We are well underway
00:05:53 where is Tropics' leading scorer,
00:05:57 I agree, it's completely
00:05:59 Lou, can I ask you
00:06:01 No, I like to smoke when I drink.
00:06:03 All right, fans, let's hear it for
00:06:13 Go Clarence!
00:06:16 That's my son.
00:06:18 Downtown wastes no time
00:06:21 and Munson passes him the ball
00:06:23 Downtown dribbles the ball through
00:06:26 He's making mincemeat
00:06:28 Downtown!
00:06:29 If you want it!
00:06:31 You don't want it, I can feel it.
00:06:34 That's right, Nets.
00:06:36 You're not gonna stop it.
00:06:39 - Let's do it!
00:06:40 - Go!
00:06:42 He tosses a three...
00:06:44 And, yes!
00:06:45 - Wow! That was quite a shot.
00:06:47 Yeah!
00:06:53 At halftime, it's the Nets 62...
00:06:55 Flint Tropics 43.
00:06:57 All right, everybody,
00:06:59 and let's hear it for Busch Bavarian.
00:07:03 If you're gonna drink a beer, you
00:07:07 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:07:10 who's gonna attempt the impossible...
00:07:15 from the other side of the court.
00:07:17 - Right on.
00:07:20 - what's your name?
00:07:22 - All right, Dukes.
00:07:23 - Dukes, where ya from?
00:07:25 and I never missed a game!
00:07:28 Go!
00:07:29 Dukes is homegrown.
00:07:30 I think you're on a little somethin'
00:07:34 We're havin' fun.
00:07:36 Dukes, what do you do for a livin'?
00:07:39 Nothin' right now.
00:07:40 OK.
00:07:42 Layin' low.
00:07:44 Dukes is excited!
00:07:46 So am I.
00:07:47 Come on, let's go, people.
00:07:50 Cheer this guy on
00:07:54 Well, we've got
00:07:57 down on the court tryin' to sink
00:07:59 This is human drama at its best.
00:08:01 He's just focusing, taking a moment
00:08:05 Concentrate all you want.
00:08:09 - Come on, Dukes!
00:08:14 - No!
00:08:15 Holy shit, I'm a miracle!
00:08:20 Yeah!
00:08:22 Father Pat, he stepped on the line.
00:08:24 - No, no, it was legal.
00:08:25 he stepped on the line,
00:08:26 Jackie, he made the shot.
00:08:28 Who the hell has $10,000?
00:08:30 Relax, the beer company'll pay him.
00:08:31 They're not really a sponsor,
00:08:35 Look at this guy. He's so hopped up
00:08:37 he's got no idea what's going on.
00:08:39 Holy crap.
00:08:41 Tropical!
00:08:42 Hey, congratulations to Dukes!
00:08:46 He just won a giant check
00:08:52 Cool!
00:08:54 Look at the size of that thing!
00:08:56 Go have yourself a ball!
00:08:58 Second half, comin' up next!
00:09:01 Damn it!
00:09:05 - # Hi #
00:09:12 # Get the funk outta my face #
00:09:14 # Get the funk
00:09:17 # Get the funk outta my face #
00:09:18 # Get the funk outta my face #
00:09:21 # You don't like my music
00:09:25 # Funking is a thing
00:09:30 # You don't have to get it #
00:09:32 # All you do is let it #
00:09:35 # Then you'll know
00:09:39 #... More, more, more #
00:09:43 # Now he's back home doing 9 to 5 #
00:09:48 # Living his gray flannel life #
00:09:51 - Hey, Jackie.
00:09:53 - Keep the drinks flowin'.
00:09:56 # More, more, more #
00:10:00 # Gitchi, gitchi, ya ya da da da #
00:10:10 You're a sexy town, Flint.
00:10:12 Look at you, I love it.
00:10:15 I swear, if this Plexiglass
00:10:17 I'd make sweet, tender,
00:10:23 to each one of you,
00:10:24 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:10:29 # Love me sexy #
00:10:30 # Baby, are you ready to lick... #
00:10:32 - #... me sexy? #
00:10:34 that's the word on the street
00:10:36 It's a dang shame.
00:10:37 I can't go back to working
00:10:40 I know there's some team out there
00:10:43 "Downtown Funky Stuff" Malone,
00:10:45 I dig you, brother, but I heard
00:10:49 It's the whole league that's goin' under.
00:10:51 Hey, guys, what's shakin'?
00:10:53 What's shakin'?
00:10:55 - that's what's shaking.
00:10:58 I don't know who you're talkin' to
00:11:01 Jackie, come on, man, it's us.
00:11:05 I'm not jivin' you.
00:11:07 Jackie, come on, you're jivin' us now
00:11:10 OK, well, this time I'm tellin' the truth.
00:11:12 Right.
00:11:15 Now if I give you the lowdown on
00:11:18 - Yeah.
00:11:19 Tomorrow mornin', I'm drivin'
00:11:25 possibly talking...
00:11:28 - merger.
00:11:30 Flint Tropics in the NBA.
00:11:32 - The NBA?
00:11:33 I'm Jackie Moon,
00:11:36 I mean, you can just think of me
00:11:37 I make sure nothing
00:11:39 Drink up, this is a big night.
00:11:41 - Hey, drinks on me.
00:11:44 Bambi's mother got shot, right?
00:11:47 Yeah, first scene.
00:11:49 I remember that the credits
00:11:55 Who the fuck is Bambi?
00:12:10 Merger. Merger.
00:12:12 Merger.
00:12:13 Jackie Moon. Jackie Moon.
00:12:15 America.
00:12:16 Let's go.
00:12:17 Let's do this.
00:12:19 Don't worry, Mom,
00:12:21 I'll keep this team alive.
00:12:27 And our TV stations are complaining
00:12:31 Let's try to keep the fights in the tunnel
00:12:35 We have one more
00:12:38 I'm sure you've all heard the rumors,
00:12:42 the ABA will be merging
00:12:45 at the end of this season.
00:12:47 Yes. Yes.
00:12:52 I did it.
00:12:54 I'm a real owner.
00:12:56 - Please, Jackie, let go.
00:12:59 All right, let's...
00:13:01 not get too excited.
00:13:02 Yes!
00:13:05 Everyone can eat shit!
00:13:06 A big bag of shit!
00:13:09 I'm the greatest man in the world!
00:13:14 The NBA has agreed
00:13:16 - but there is something else...
00:13:18 Destiny.
00:13:19 I'm so happy
00:13:23 OK, Jackie, listen to me. Jackie?
00:13:25 - Hey, Jackie?
00:13:26 Four teams will be absorbed
00:13:30 The rest of the league
00:13:32 Exactly. You know it.
00:13:35 Wait.
00:13:38 The Nets, the Spurs,
00:13:41 are gonna play in the NBA next season.
00:13:43 - The rest of us are gonna dissolve.
00:13:46 What's "dissolve"?
00:13:48 Is that even a word?
00:13:51 Yes, it is a word...
00:13:52 and financially it means
00:13:55 Let's don't get emotional about it.
00:13:56 No!
00:13:59 No!
00:14:00 OK.
00:14:02 All right, you're being...
00:14:04 You... Don't bite yourself.
00:14:07 Jackie, we agreed to a very large sum.
00:14:10 I don't want a large sum, OK?
00:14:13 I want my team.
00:14:16 you're not gonna just sit there
00:14:22 What do the Nets have
00:14:24 The Nets have a huge fan base.
00:14:26 They got a brand-new stadium.
00:14:27 Solid economic growth package
00:14:33 Come on, Alan, that's bullshit!
00:14:36 The NBA's gonna
00:14:38 This is a good deal.
00:14:45 Best four teams should go.
00:14:49 He's right.
00:14:52 Hey, you know what? Yeah,
00:14:54 That's the fairest way.
00:14:55 Aw, gee whiz...
00:14:57 that sounds like so much fun...
00:14:59 fair and all.
00:15:01 But come on, guys...
00:15:03 I mean, look at what
00:15:05 This guy plays power forward
00:15:08 But he has a point.
00:15:10 Why not make the terms of
00:15:12 - Exactly.
00:15:13 - What he just said.
00:15:15 I move we vote
00:15:16 - I second.
00:15:18 But... What both those guys said.
00:15:19 God damn it, Bob! I'm about to reach
00:15:23 Don't be a jackass.
00:15:24 - It makes sense.
00:15:26 I don't see a need
00:15:27 Now, if you wanna go outside
00:15:29 I'll take both of you fuckers out
00:15:32 We're not gonna fight,
00:15:33 - Let's vote!
00:15:35 and then we'll fight!
00:15:36 Come on, guys...
00:15:38 you should be juiced right now.
00:15:40 This is a chance to become
00:15:43 Man, get outta town.
00:15:44 Ain't no way in Sam Hill
00:15:47 - Nope.
00:15:48 we have a horseshit record right now.
00:15:50 Yeah, well, we just need to start
00:15:53 That's not the problem, Jackie.
00:15:55 we suck.
00:15:59 Scootsie, you did not deserve that.
00:16:00 - I know.
00:16:04 Stop that shit, man.
00:16:05 We do not suck, OK?
00:16:08 I been doin' a lot of thinkin'.
00:16:11 Decided to add someone to our team
00:16:15 I think this guy
00:16:17 Now, don't get mad.
00:16:20 - At point guard...
00:16:22 ...five-ten...
00:16:23 I traded away our
00:16:26 He punches in bunches.
00:16:28 Ed Monix!
00:16:33 Toilet's clogged.
00:16:36 Hell, no.
00:16:39 Yeah.
00:16:40 This guy's an old warrior, come on.
00:16:42 Yeah, he old.
00:16:43 He can shoot the basketball.
00:16:45 Most importantly,
00:16:47 So?
00:16:49 It's a thrill to be in Flint.
00:16:55 Now, look, I know
00:16:57 in this locker room has been
00:17:00 at some point in time.
00:17:01 And maybe even one of us has...
00:17:03 had his collarbone broken... twice.
00:17:07 Sorry, Twig.
00:17:08 Thanks, Ed.
00:17:10 Hey, how are your mom and sister?
00:17:12 It's been about 12 weeks
00:17:15 Let's not talk about porking
00:17:19 because we only have
00:17:22 What is that rule, Twiggy?
00:17:24 E-L-E.
00:17:25 That's right, E-L-E.
00:17:27 And what does "E-L-E" stand for?
00:17:28 "Everybody Love Everybody".
00:17:30 "Everybody Love Everybody".
00:17:32 Right there up on the wall.
00:17:34 Got that, Monix?
00:17:35 - Nope.
00:17:37 'Cause this isn't just
00:17:39 this is a lifestyle.
00:17:42 Welcome aboard, Monix.
00:17:43 Thank you.
00:17:44 All right.
00:17:46 Oh, if you see a possum...
00:17:49 try to kill it, OK?
00:17:52 It's not a pet.
00:18:00 Welcome back to Tropics Weekly.
00:18:02 The ABA has announced...
00:18:03 that the top four teams will merge
00:18:08 Seizing the opportunity...
00:18:09 owner/player/coach Jackie Moon
00:18:13 acquiring Ed Monix
00:18:16 Yeah!
00:18:17 I'm a pretty aggressive owner.
00:18:19 When I heard Kentucky needed
00:18:22 even though we need ours.
00:18:24 I said, "I gotta pull the trigger on this."
00:18:26 - Hey, honey!
00:18:28 - Guess who got traded to Flint?
00:18:31 Monix!
00:18:33 Why the hell would he
00:18:37 I have no idea.
00:18:39 Who cares, right? I mean...
00:18:41 He's got an NBA ring
00:18:44 Can you believe that?
00:18:45 No, I can't.
00:18:50 I'll get it.
00:18:52 It's like, if you watch a porn movie,
00:18:55 No, no. In fact,
00:18:58 Monix was an All-American
00:19:00 then went on to...
00:19:02 - Hey.
00:19:03 You look great.
00:19:04 Why are you here?
00:19:06 Got traded. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:09 I mean, why are you here?
00:19:12 Can we talk?
00:19:14 - Monix!
00:19:17 - What's up?
00:19:18 That ol' jump shot of yours
00:19:20 Not yet.
00:19:22 Man... hey!
00:19:24 Great backdoor cut...
00:19:25 for the lay-up against the Amigos
00:19:27 Yeah. That's the way
00:19:30 - Yeah.
00:19:31 - Yeah...
00:19:35 Hey, can you give us
00:19:37 - Yeah, no problem.
00:19:42 You're his favorite player.
00:19:44 I'd feel more comfortable
00:19:46 Listen, I hope you didn't agree
00:19:52 What if I did?
00:19:54 Then you'd be stuck
00:19:58 You know what?
00:19:59 You said you wanted to leave basketball
00:20:01 When are you gonna quit?
00:20:02 I'm at the top of my game.
00:20:10 I just got traded for a fuckin' washing
00:20:14 Good night, Ed.
00:20:19 Thanks for the pep talk.
00:20:27 Ed Monix is a tenacious defender,
00:20:31 - When he's not drunk.
00:20:34 Look, there's nothing in the rulebook
00:20:37 No, actually, there is.
00:20:38 Remember those 30 rebounds
00:20:40 Yeah.
00:20:41 - I don't remember 'em.
00:20:43 - Amaretto stone sours.
00:20:45 - I will never believe that.
00:20:46 - No way.
00:20:48 - Doesn't leave the table.
00:20:51 Look, guys, you ain't gotta worry.
00:20:53 'Cause tomorrow when I get this cast
00:20:56 and I will be rainin' down some threes!
00:20:59 Cornelius, you're a good friend,
00:21:03 and I've told you 100 times
00:21:06 You're a terrible athlete.
00:21:07 Come on, man! I'm a excellent athlete.
00:21:11 No, you broke it
00:21:14 You can't even make a lay-up.
00:21:16 I'm an injured player, man.
00:21:18 No, you're not on the team.
00:21:20 Well, in my fantasy life,
00:21:22 Well, let's just keep it that way, right?
00:21:25 My God. What the fuck is that?
00:21:28 It's called fondue.
00:21:29 - Fon what?
00:21:32 Three different cheeses, melted.
00:21:36 Gorgonzola, muenster and cottage.
00:21:38 It's the latest thing
00:21:40 Well, I'm not surprised by that.
00:21:44 - They are.
00:21:45 They are my favorite producers
00:21:48 They make an excellent fuck picture.
00:21:50 Well, I think I'll excuse myself
00:21:54 - To the men's room.
00:21:56 To make your wiener sing.
00:21:57 Boner machine.
00:21:59 I am not a boner machine, now.
00:22:01 Swedish porn saved my life in 'Nam.
00:22:03 - OK.
00:22:05 - C'mon! Fuck you guys!
00:22:07 Swedish porn was the only thing...
00:22:08 that kept my mind off Charlie
00:22:10 Is the shit in Ann Arbor? 'Cause
00:22:13 - He really believes it.
00:22:16 - Nope.
00:22:30 You just call me a jive turkey?
00:22:34 No. No, he did not.
00:22:36 - He called you cocksucker.
00:22:40 - Yeah.
00:22:41 Yeah, yeah.
00:22:43 I'm pretty sure that
00:22:46 No, no. Now, Lou,
00:22:50 Jive turkey is a little over the line,
00:22:53 Look, we're all here.
00:22:54 We all heard what was said
00:22:56 - Cornelius said cocksucker.
00:22:58 - Right?
00:22:59 - He just said you suck cock.
00:23:03 Now, come on. Dig into that fondue,
00:23:08 - We like playing games, don't we?
00:23:14 I'm gonna show you guys
00:23:15 - when I was in fucking 'Nam!
00:23:18 Lou. Lou.
00:23:19 Who's the jive turkey now?
00:23:27 Gun's not loaded!
00:23:29 - You son of a bitch!
00:23:31 It's not loaded!
00:23:33 You shoulda seen your goddamn face!
00:23:36 There's no bullets in there!
00:23:38 The gun was not loaded.
00:23:42 I'll see you fuckers in hell!
00:23:49 Jackie, Love Me Sexy
00:23:55 Watch this! I did call you jive turkey.
00:23:59 He did!
00:24:01 I got one. Hey, Lou, I know
00:24:08 We're saying nutty things
00:24:11 - My! Yeah.
00:24:14 - He's jonesing you.
00:24:17 - Hey. Bond.
00:24:19 - James Bond.
00:24:21 - How do you like your martini, sir?
00:24:28 - He shoots himself.
00:24:39 - Everybody OK?
00:24:41 - Yeah.
00:24:45 We just literally dodged a bullet.
00:24:48 We sure did!
00:24:51 - We certainly...
00:24:56 I did get shot!
00:25:00 - My God.
00:25:03 # Mr. Big Stuff #
00:25:05 # Who do you think you are? #
00:25:07 # Mr. Big Stuff #
00:25:10 # You're never gonna get my love #
00:25:13 # Now because you wear #
00:25:15 Vakidis, open the window, will ya?
00:25:17 Yes, right on.
00:25:20 Did you give Bobby Dee a hand job?
00:25:22 Yes, right on.
00:25:24 Hey, Monix...
00:25:26 what were the Celtics like?
00:25:28 Well, they were fast.
00:25:29 Fast? Man. Clarence should play
00:25:33 Downtown,
00:25:35 "I'm goin' to the NBA, I'm goin'
00:25:37 No, I don't.
00:25:39 Say, Monix, why don't you let us
00:25:43 Don't think nobody here
00:25:46 - All right.
00:25:47 - Yes!
00:25:49 Holy balls.
00:25:51 My God, look at this right here.
00:25:54 Man, why are you wearing that
00:25:56 If I had a ring like that,
00:25:58 so the honeys could see it.
00:26:01 I'm not quite as flashy as you.
00:26:02 I just like wearing it
00:26:05 - That's cool, man.
00:26:07 He should be embarrassed.
00:26:10 Embarrassed?
00:26:13 He sat through every playoff game.
00:26:16 Then he gonna walk around us
00:26:18 like he some kind of hero or somethin'.
00:26:21 Come on, Clarence.
00:26:23 Whatever. I ain't never rode the bench
00:26:30 Somebody need to snatch that ring
00:26:34 - You wanna snatch it? Come on.
00:26:35 - Be my guest.
00:26:37 Hey! Hey, I got a ring up here too.
00:26:43 Think about that.
00:26:47 Everybody love everybody!
00:26:50 Come on!
00:26:52 Eleven more hours to go.
00:27:00 This way, this way.
00:27:04 Keep it alive, right here!
00:27:07 No! Changed my mind.
00:27:08 - OK. OK.
00:27:10 - You got it.
00:27:11 - No?
00:27:13 - Sure?
00:27:16 Right back, reset.
00:27:17 - No, right back out.
00:27:19 - Right back. Right back.
00:27:20 - Back to you. Right back, though.
00:27:21 Shoot!
00:27:22 - All right, right on.
00:27:24 - You ready?
00:27:25 - No?
00:27:27 - All right, I'm goin'.
00:27:28 Yeah, I'll bet my alleged son
00:27:30 Jackie Moon finally making a move...
00:27:32 - and it is worth the wait!
00:27:36 - Traveling!
00:27:38 - Come on, Jackie. You walked.
00:27:44 - You're gone, Jackie Moon!
00:27:46 Jackie Moon is ejected from the game.
00:27:48 - What did I say?
00:27:53 And one lucky fan
00:27:56 That's your head next time.
00:27:57 You're a big baby, Jackie.
00:27:59 Jackie Moon and the referee
00:28:01 - I didn't say anything.
00:28:03 - I barely raised my voice.
00:28:05 You need a phone to heaven to do that.
00:28:07 - Maybe your ma didn't go to heaven.
00:28:09 Oh, my. Oh, no.
00:28:13 OK. Everyone off the floor.
00:28:15 Why... No, Jackie.
00:28:16 It appears a line has been crossed
00:28:20 - Look, Jackie, I'm sorry.
00:28:22 Jackie Moon is pulling his team
00:28:26 You forfeit this game, Jackie,
00:28:28 - That's fine.
00:28:32 God damn it, Pat.
00:28:34 Don't get on your high horse, Redwood.
00:28:38 And that will do it from St. Louis,
00:28:42 Good night.
00:28:44 - Dick.
00:28:46 We go to church together.
00:28:47 Not anymore.
00:28:49 # Hey, Flint Tropics, welcome back,
00:28:53 I tried, Jackie.
00:28:54 They won't take it.
00:28:56 Look, I don't know
00:28:58 This is a real check.
00:29:01 It's written in glitter, man.
00:29:03 Can't you just, you know, like,
00:29:07 Maybe you should try a different bank.
00:29:10 - Bigger bank?
00:29:13 - That's what I'd do.
00:29:14 - Right? All right.
00:29:16 Scootsie, he is takin' you to town!
00:29:18 Get him, Twig. C'mon!
00:29:22 There we go.
00:29:23 - All right, guys. Hey, listen up.
00:29:26 Let's go. Eyes up here.
00:29:30 Look, just got off the phone
00:29:33 He convinced the board
00:29:36 We gotta average 2,000 fans per
00:29:40 - Two thou every home game?
00:29:42 Commissioner says they're not gonna
00:29:45 - He's being a real dick.
00:29:48 Winning these games is gonna be hard,
00:29:54 It's OK, Scootsie.
00:29:57 Now, you all know
00:30:00 Could be a lot of television cameras
00:30:04 So, what's the plan?
00:30:06 I brought a secret weapon.
00:30:07 It's gonna make us
00:30:09 What the hell is that?
00:30:11 It's eyeliner, dummy.
00:30:14 Now who's first? Monix?
00:30:17 Yeah. Just let me get a fresh Maxi Pad
00:30:22 Looks like Jackie Moon has brought a
00:30:28 Trap, trap, trap, trap, trap.
00:30:30 Point of no return.
00:30:32 Horse in the trailer.
00:30:33 Hey. Look at my eyes.
00:30:36 Are you scared? Tropical storm.
00:30:38 I'm gonna hypnotize you.
00:30:41 - Look at me.
00:30:44 Jackie tips the ball away.
00:30:47 - Two points, Tropics.
00:30:50 Make sure the camera gets your eyes!
00:30:52 - This team is on fire early in the game.
00:30:56 Nice lay-up.
00:30:59 - Who's got character now?
00:31:04 What's with Vakidis?
00:31:07 What the hell's wrong with Vakidis?
00:31:09 Shit! Your eyeliner's running.
00:31:12 Yeah. Yours is kinda smoky too.
00:31:14 All right, everyone.
00:31:16 Hell, no. This shit
00:31:18 - Yeah, it kinda is.
00:31:20 I'm going to the bench, man. Move!
00:31:21 - What's happening?
00:31:22 The Tropics seem to be
00:31:24 God, it burns.
00:31:26 Do they test this on animals
00:31:29 Feels like I got cat piss in my eyes!
00:31:31 Just open your eyes with your fingers,
00:31:34 Cock sandwich, that hurts!
00:31:35 - Fuckin' idiots.
00:31:37 Monix, where's your makeup, buddy?
00:31:39 Hey, how come it says Monix on
00:31:42 - I was curious about this...
00:31:44 - Hey, hey, Monix!
00:31:47 - Get back here! You little bitch!
00:31:50 - I don't give a shit!
00:31:53 - You wanna kill the merger? C'mon.
00:31:56 Looks like a little gentleman's
00:31:58 No, these girls aren't gonna fight.
00:32:00 No, but a little bit of a delay
00:32:03 What about during commercial?
00:32:06 Yeah, I like it. Yeah, it's good.
00:32:08 - Father Pat, timeout.
00:32:12 It's a timeout on the floor, with 9 minutes
00:32:16 The Tropics two, the Amigos six.
00:32:17 And we'll be right back
00:32:21 And, clear.
00:32:22 Somebody hit somebody!
00:32:27 Here we go.
00:32:31 - Come on!
00:32:33 This is a good old-fashioned
00:32:37 My goodness.
00:32:40 Look at the Russian bear go.
00:32:44 # Why can't we be friends?
00:32:48 Look at Monix take it to Petrelli. I wish
00:32:51 I could hurt someone.
00:32:52 New Red Apple Soda with a great taste
00:32:57 # Why can't we be friends? #
00:32:59 # Why can't we be friends? #
00:33:01 - # Why can't we be friends? #
00:33:04 # Why can't we be friends?
00:33:07 Honestly, Dick, I could watch this all day.
00:33:10 Father Pat is getting
00:33:12 Stop!
00:33:14 - # Why can't we be friends? #
00:33:16 - # Why can't we be friends? #
00:33:19 Welcome back
00:33:22 I'll tell you, the spirit
00:33:24 is on full display here tonight, Lou.
00:33:26 Yeah, yeah, you got that right, Dick.
00:33:29 Lou!
00:33:30 Come on, Jack! They won't come back
00:33:34 - Then I just kicked him!
00:33:36 - Still got it, J.
00:33:40 - That's right.
00:33:42 - Man!
00:33:44 Monix, you got Petrelli's ass!
00:33:46 I mean, I was out there grabbin' balls.
00:33:49 Damn!
00:33:50 - That was you on my nuts?
00:33:52 You got the softest hands in the world.
00:33:54 All right, this is what we do.
00:33:58 In fact, we don't need...
00:34:00 Does anybody here wanna talk
00:34:04 God, this guy's a bummer.
00:34:05 Did anyone look at the scoreboard?
00:34:08 How about we run some plays
00:34:11 Look, Monix, I'm not an X's and O's guy,
00:34:14 I'm a motivator
00:34:17 You know, Lombardi,
00:34:21 that nun over in India, like those people.
00:34:24 I get people to do great things!
00:34:27 And we just had an incredible,
00:34:32 by punching other guys in the face.
00:34:34 And it felt good...
00:34:35 and now we're gonna continue that
00:34:39 with baskets, though.
00:34:40 We need a game plan, Jackie.
00:34:43 So he the expert. He should know.
00:34:46 He done seen the game
00:34:48 - sittin' on the bench.
00:34:49 Hey, guess what? The Celtics weren't
00:34:53 As opposed to a bunch of selfish
00:34:58 I mean, call us what you want to...
00:34:59 but we ain't never sat around
00:35:03 Yeah, you got a little ring and all,
00:35:13 Clarence, I want you to have this ring...
00:35:15 as a token
00:35:19 Champion or not,
00:35:22 And I got news for you, Clarence...
00:35:24 for all your flash,
00:35:28 You are pissing your career away.
00:35:31 And one day,
00:35:34 and you're gonna realize that you never
00:36:01 Jeez!
00:36:02 What the hell?
00:36:06 Shit.
00:36:07 Get your hands in the air.
00:36:15 Monix, bail's been set.
00:36:23 Lynn, can I ask you a favor?
00:36:25 You mean besides
00:36:28 Lynn, no one can drain it like you.
00:36:31 I think I drained all I can out of there.
00:36:34 - That hurt?
00:36:36 - How about that?
00:36:39 Good.
00:36:42 Listen. This is long overdue,
00:36:48 For what?
00:36:50 For, you know, back then
00:36:55 Did you wanna apologize
00:37:00 Twice.
00:37:02 Hey, I cheated on you once.
00:37:03 There just happened
00:37:07 - Still not funny?
00:37:11 And where's the necklace I made you?
00:37:16 Monix, it was the high point
00:37:19 I didn't deserve that ring, Lynn.
00:37:20 I hardly played.
00:37:24 Wanna know why
00:37:27 Yeah.
00:37:28 You hate yourself so much
00:37:35 Kinda brutally honest.
00:37:40 Did we have some fun?
00:37:42 You're kind of fun.
00:37:43 Didn't we?
00:37:46 Sometimes.
00:37:56 - What are you doing?
00:37:59 - Been lookin' all over for you.
00:38:03 See ya later, Ed. 'Scuse me, guys.
00:38:06 Excused.
00:38:07 Doin' your girl in the locker room?
00:38:10 - What are you guys doin' here?
00:38:16 - What?
00:38:18 I'm flattered, but I don't think
00:38:22 Come on, don't worry about Jackie.
00:38:26 OK, Tropics, hustle up.
00:38:29 Five, six, seven, eight.
00:38:31 One and two and three and four,
00:38:35 Arch that back, Bee Bee.
00:38:37 I like it. Good rotation.
00:38:39 Beautiful, seahorses.
00:38:40 Leg kick, Scootsie.
00:38:42 Nice! And freeze it.
00:38:49 And then we start the game.
00:38:50 Now, when I say freeze it...
00:38:52 you guys gotta freeze it, OK?
00:38:54 - Hey!
00:38:57 You're back. All right.
00:38:59 We got a extra costume
00:39:02 I'm not here to do whatever this is.
00:39:07 What is this? Come on, man,
00:39:12 This is entertainment.
00:39:21 Look, Jackie. Now, don't get mad,
00:39:24 and we aksed old Monix
00:39:27 Wait, what do you mean, teach us?
00:39:29 I teach you guys things.
00:39:34 No.
00:39:36 We wanna give Monix
00:39:41 What's goin' on here?
00:39:45 What is this?
00:39:48 Clarence?
00:39:52 This is a mutiny.
00:39:56 You guys all in on this?
00:40:02 You motherfuckin' cocksuckers.
00:40:05 All of you.
00:40:08 I have dedicated my life
00:40:13 I have given you guys my soul!
00:40:17 I mean, who bought you
00:40:20 That would be you, Coach.
00:40:23 I bought 'em!
00:40:24 I really liked them boots.
00:40:25 They're really nice boots.
00:40:28 Yeah, we love ya.
00:40:29 But Monix just knows
00:40:33 Come on, come on,
00:40:36 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen.
00:40:40 How about this, I'll be the offensive
00:40:45 and you can still be head coach.
00:40:49 And you're the best promoter.
00:40:54 Do you guys really think
00:40:55 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:40:58 - I'm probably the best in the league.
00:41:01 - Top three.
00:41:03 - Right up there.
00:41:05 OK.
00:41:09 If we play unselfish, fundamental
00:41:15 By unselfish, I mean we sprint up
00:41:21 not because we might get a dunk and
00:41:24 but because sprinting might pull
00:41:28 Wait, wait, wait, wait. So what's goin' on
00:41:30 Yeah, 'cause I vote
00:41:32 - Yeah. All in favor?
00:41:36 Thank you, Clarence.
00:41:38 Now, till we start playing
00:41:43 we're gonna practice without the ball.
00:41:47 That's a waste.
00:41:49 OK, let's run the offense!
00:41:53 - Without a ball?
00:41:56 Let's go, everybody get in position.
00:41:58 - Patch that ball up, Scootsie.
00:42:02 OK, Clarence, flash through the lane.
00:42:04 - Hustle, Clarence!
00:42:07 Ball, ball, ball!
00:42:08 We been runnin'
00:42:11 Yeah, can we maybe try
00:42:13 No! I want you to be brain-dead,
00:42:16 'Cause someday you're gonna be
00:42:20 And when you are,
00:42:24 We need to be able to run
00:42:27 I'm a rover, Coach.
00:42:29 No, don't just go rovin'.
00:42:32 I'm creatin' a diversion, though...
00:42:33 - by runnin' in circles over here.
00:42:36 We are runnin' this until we puke.
00:42:38 - Well, basically, we have.
00:42:41 "Until we puke"
00:42:44 We are literally going to puke.
00:42:46 What does he mean by "literally"?
00:42:51 I wish you were still
00:42:54 Get up and run, Coach!
00:42:57 I can't puke, Monix!
00:43:02 You're lying to me.
00:43:03 I've been sick before, I've just never
00:43:07 What about when you were a baby?
00:43:10 My mom said I never did it. I swear.
00:43:15 She said I was fascinating.
00:43:17 In fact, the local PBS wanted to do
00:43:23 Have you ever been punched
00:43:25 No, what's a jejunum?
00:43:27 It's part of the small intestine.
00:43:29 I don't think so.
00:43:31 I mean, I've been punched in the armpit
00:43:36 Coccyx, and in the back of the knee.
00:43:41 Both eyes, and I've been punched
00:44:03 Let that out.
00:44:07 Go ahead, Jackie. Just let it go.
00:44:12 Hey, hey, hey.
00:44:16 Get ahold of yourself, Jackie!
00:44:19 Let go! Hold it in, Jackie!
00:44:23 Get off me, God damn it!
00:44:25 Jackie!
00:44:33 We are seeing a very different Tropics
00:44:36 aren't we, Lou?
00:44:37 Playing with a lot of energy
00:44:40 They're movin' the ball well.
00:44:41 It looks like they're gonna win this game.
00:44:45 Jangel has the ball now.
00:44:47 My gosh, a loose ball on the court
00:44:49 Timeout!
00:44:50 That's something we have not seen
00:44:52 Timeout, white!
00:44:54 - Hey. Good playin' out there, Jackie.
00:44:56 - Way to go, man.
00:44:59 The crowd is really excited tonight.
00:45:01 They know what's at stake, Dick.
00:45:03 Yup, gettin' their home team
00:45:06 No, I'm talking about free corn dogs.
00:45:07 That's right.
00:45:10 Fellas, it's lookin' great.
00:45:11 We're 30 seconds away
00:45:13 Yeah, he's right. Let's try to win,
00:45:18 Wait, we don't want to win by too much?
00:45:20 What the hell are you talkin' about?
00:45:22 - Corn dogs.
00:45:24 See, if we score 125 points...
00:45:26 that mean we gotta give everybody
00:45:28 Yeah, sorry, Monix.
00:45:30 Corn... I don't care,
00:45:33 Hey, we're up by seven, OK?
00:45:35 Can't we just take it easy?
00:45:38 We're talkin' a lot of corn dogs!
00:45:39 I don't give a shit
00:45:41 We play hard every second. We run
00:45:45 - Right on.
00:45:46 You got that, Jackie?
00:45:49 - OK, bring us together, man.
00:45:52 Let's get Tropical!
00:45:54 OK, it looks like we are going
00:45:59 - Hey, Monix.
00:46:00 You wanna just throw it to me? I can
00:46:02 Jackie, move!
00:46:04 Ball, ball, ball, ball,
00:46:06 - Nice, Monix!
00:46:09 OK. Come on, Clarence,
00:46:11 Come on, Nets, play some defense.
00:46:14 You wanna go for the double team?
00:46:15 Double team, double team.
00:46:17 I won't do anything
00:46:19 He'll go with his right. He loves
00:46:23 - What are you doin'?
00:00:02 But look at this, Jackie Moon
00:00:06 A loose ball on the court,
00:00:08 No!
00:00:30 God damn it, Vakidis!
00:00:32 Learn fuckin' English!
00:00:35 Corn dogs, Jackie!
00:00:40 The Tropics win,
00:00:44 Crazy for corn dogs.
00:00:46 And Jackie Moon gives us
00:00:51 # Get up and dance to the music! #
00:00:53 Now, Scootsie, rotate up top.
00:00:54 Vakidis, flash to the high post.
00:00:57 No, to the high post, Vakidis.
00:01:01 Good.
00:01:07 - At guard...
00:01:09 ...formerly known as Clarence Withers...
00:01:11 - and "Downtown Funky Stuff" Malone...
00:01:14 ...and Sugar Dunkerton.
00:01:16 - # Dance to the music #
00:01:18 Put your hands together for...
00:01:20 - # Dance to the music #
00:01:23 Coffee Black!
00:01:25 # Dance to the music #
00:01:27 # You might like to hear
00:01:31 # Cynthia on the throne, yeah! #
00:01:39 Now let's do it again. Jab.
00:01:41 Swing, back.
00:01:43 Good.
00:01:44 That's it.
00:01:54 # Dance to the music #
00:01:58 # Dance to the music #
00:02:01 # Dance to the music #
00:02:05 Here they come, the Flint Tropics
00:02:08 keeping the crowd energized
00:02:11 They've just got such big...
00:02:12 - What?
00:02:14 - Yes.
00:02:16 Well, hearts don't really bounce...
00:02:17 so now I think you're talking
00:02:21 - # Say it! Get up! #
00:02:23 Downtown brings the ball up forward and
00:02:27 Behind his back to Doubleday.
00:02:30 Scootsie goes for the three-pointer...
00:02:31 and it is good!
00:02:34 Are you actually havin' fun out here,
00:02:36 Hey, don't tell anybody.
00:02:49 # Dance to the music #
00:02:52 # Dance to the music #
00:02:55 # Yeah, yeah, yeah #
00:02:56 # Dance to the music #
00:03:17 Well, if it isn't
00:03:19 Shouldn't you be out signing
00:03:27 - Will you marry me?
00:03:30 I'm crazy about you.
00:03:33 Do I?
00:03:34 You came to one of our games.
00:03:36 Don't think I didn't see you
00:03:39 - So?
00:03:44 You know, like back in the day.
00:03:48 You know? I mean not then, because
00:03:52 For real this time.
00:03:57 I need you.
00:04:00 Yo, Monix!
00:04:02 What's up, man?
00:04:07 Yeah.
00:04:11 - Hey, Kyle?
00:04:13 Can you do me a big favor?
00:04:15 Can you go get me a tube of Bengay?
00:04:18 Are you kidding me?
00:04:23 What do you think you're doing?
00:04:24 - Hey, Kyle?
00:04:25 Listen, don't... Kyle?
00:04:28 - Yeah!
00:04:30 I need one of those big tubes like
00:04:33 I'm already gone, big man!
00:04:41 Hey, Lynn.
00:04:50 That's it.
00:05:00 Yes.
00:05:01 # Baby, keep on #
00:05:05 # Come on, baby,
00:05:10 # Right on #
00:05:13 # Right on doin' it #
00:05:16 # You got it together #
00:05:18 # Baby, keep on #
00:05:19 # Oh, you got it together, baby #
00:05:21 # Right on #
00:05:23 # Keep on doin' it #
00:05:24 # And I'll give you,
00:05:29 - Kyle.
00:05:33 - Fuck!
00:05:36 You old dog.
00:05:37 - What the hell are you doin'?
00:05:39 I'm just sittin' here watching...
00:05:42 I'm outta here.
00:05:43 Come on, man, don't be like that.
00:05:47 No, man. No, believe me, it's not cool.
00:05:51 I'll call you.
00:05:53 OK.
00:05:58 He was talkin' to me.
00:06:00 Yes, ladies and gentlemen...
00:06:01 Jackie Moon has outdone himself
00:06:04 as he prepares to jump
00:06:08 - # Rollercoaster #
00:06:11 The fact that Jackie's
00:06:14 appears to have done nothing
00:06:16 - # Rollercoaster #
00:06:19 Here comes...
00:06:20 - # Rollercoaster #
00:06:23 Here he comes down the ramp.
00:06:26 - He is airborne!
00:06:30 - No!
00:06:36 - Jackie's up!
00:06:40 - Great job!
00:06:42 And everyone survives!
00:06:44 That was exciting!
00:06:47 - # Of love #
00:06:49 # Rollercoaster #
00:06:50 Next time I'm gonna jump
00:06:55 - What?
00:06:58 - Commish?
00:07:01 - He's comin' to Flint?
00:07:04 Shit. Crap.
00:07:08 - You all right?
00:07:11 You know, Jackie, we need
00:07:14 We can't fake it this time.
00:07:17 Look, it's no problem.
00:07:19 Yeah? We've tried everything.
00:07:21 Look, I said I'll handle it, OK?
00:07:23 - I'll think of somethin'.
00:07:25 Back in 30 seconds.
00:07:27 - How's your wife doin'?
00:07:30 - She's gorgeous. Yeah.
00:07:31 - Thank you, I think. I mean...
00:07:33 ...hands off.
00:07:36 - OK.
00:07:37 Really?
00:07:39 I'd like a guarantee.
00:07:40 Are we back, Chuck?
00:07:42 OK. Welcome back
00:07:44 I'm joined by owner/player/coach
00:07:47 Jackie, it is always an honor
00:07:50 Always enjoy our time together,
00:07:52 Dick Pepperfield, actually.
00:07:53 Now, Jackie...
00:07:55 amazingly, you're two wins away
00:07:59 How do you intend to match up
00:08:03 It's a great question.
00:08:04 Tomorrow, after the game,
00:08:10 Well, that's something...
00:08:12 but defensively, as a team,
00:08:15 That's tomorrow night,
00:08:17 watch Dewie the Wrestling Bear
00:08:19 and he's killed people in public before.
00:08:21 Well, OK, that is some entertainment...
00:08:23 and you are known for
00:08:26 You're not gonna
00:08:27 and if you're a small child, you creep
00:08:30 and you lift about 40 bucks...
00:08:32 - outta your mom's purse...
00:08:33 ...and you walk down to Flint
00:08:37 There ya have it. Jackie Moon,
00:08:40 Dewie's insane!
00:08:45 I'm Dick Pepperfield, reminding you
00:08:49 Good night, Flint.
00:08:52 Jackie, are you really
00:08:55 - Dick, you're the best.
00:08:58 - Let's go get some pussy.
00:09:01 - Really?
00:09:04 - I shouldn't. You know, I shouldn't.
00:09:06 Yes, I said I cannot say no to you. We
00:09:10 It's gonna be fun.
00:09:14 Come on!
00:09:17 I'm scared, Clarence.
00:09:19 It's a baby bear.
00:09:23 I don't care. I'm terrified of those things.
00:09:26 Come on, get it together.
00:09:28 I'm startin' to feel really dizzy.
00:09:31 Break his neck! Come on!
00:09:32 - Wanna call it off?
00:09:34 OK.
00:09:37 - Are you guys ready?
00:09:39 - You have to give me your safe word.
00:09:42 OK, I'll tell you what, if you feel
00:09:48 spumoni.
00:09:49 No, I don't need spumoni, OK?
00:09:52 Bobby Dee.
00:09:58 - Let's go!
00:10:04 What are you afraid of?
00:10:07 Hey.
00:10:11 We're both wearing red.
00:10:13 - Sorry, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just...
00:10:16 ...trying to deal with him right now.
00:10:19 How long you been
00:10:20 Just like a day or so.
00:10:22 What?
00:10:24 But I've been working with cats
00:10:26 So I'm very familiar with animals.
00:10:29 Great.
00:10:31 - C'mon!
00:10:34 Fuck that shit!
00:10:37 I'm outta here. Spumoni.
00:10:38 No, nope. No, no.
00:10:43 We got to give these people
00:10:45 - Yeah, you're right.
00:10:46 Test him out.
00:10:51 - Do something!
00:10:53 You're just nothin' but a dumb bear.
00:10:55 Smack, smack. Yep.
00:10:59 Crazy fists. I'm comin' with crazy fists.
00:11:04 Yeah. This is fine,
00:11:12 Flint, can you dig it?
00:11:14 Jackie Moon Flint...
00:11:16 Shit!
00:11:23 Dewie!
00:11:25 Spumoni!
00:11:26 One round. No spumoni!
00:11:28 Fuck you, Clarence! Spumoni!
00:11:30 Dewie, no!
00:11:33 Bobby Dee, help! Shit! Spumoni!
00:11:45 Watch my hair! Watch my hair!
00:11:48 The only thing I care about
00:11:52 Dewie! My hair!
00:11:54 Spumoni! Spumoni!
00:11:58 How many times
00:12:01 - Somebody's got to do something.
00:12:04 Don't worry, Jackie!
00:12:06 I'm comin', Jackie.
00:12:14 Turn on the lights! Turn on the lights!
00:12:18 Good.
00:12:20 Nobody move. Nobody move.
00:12:25 Where are you, precious?
00:12:28 Dewie?
00:12:31 Everyone just remain seated.
00:12:34 I think he left.
00:12:36 Dewie?
00:12:40 Everybody panic!
00:12:42 My God, there's a bear
00:12:46 There will be no refunds!
00:12:48 Your refund will be escaping
00:12:52 If you have a small child,
00:12:54 They love the tender meat.
00:12:56 Cover your sodas, Dewie loves sugar.
00:13:01 - Hey, Jackie.
00:13:06 What do ya think?
00:13:08 I need to speak with you
00:13:10 OK. Locker room? All right.
00:13:14 This whole merger thing
00:13:17 It's taken a lot of my time
00:13:23 Look, even if you beat the Spurs
00:13:28 the Tropics won't be going
00:13:31 Come on, man.
00:13:33 What the hell
00:13:35 The expansion committee had
00:13:39 and they decided that Flint
00:13:43 Well, tough shit!
00:13:47 And rules is rules.
00:13:48 Guys, it's over.
00:13:50 There's nothing I can do.
00:13:55 Jackie, I'm man enough
00:14:00 I never thought you'd pull it off.
00:14:06 Good luck.
00:14:09 Right.
00:14:10 Jackie, this is the type of deal
00:14:16 Yeah, you Jackie Moon. I mean,
00:14:22 Sorry, guys. I let you down.
00:14:26 I'm nothin' but a big phony.
00:14:28 Man, don't talk like that.
00:14:32 Yes, I am. You know my song
00:14:36 Of course, yeah.
00:14:38 Yeah, everybody loves that song, man.
00:14:40 I stole it.
00:14:42 No.
00:14:44 It's true.
00:14:46 My mom wrote it on a napkin three
00:14:51 That song bought me this franchise
00:14:55 but it's all fake.
00:15:00 Well, look, you can write another
00:15:03 Don't be crazy. I can't write a song
00:15:07 You're right.
00:15:09 I just wish I could puke this all away.
00:15:14 Monix, can you punch me
00:15:18 Monix?
00:15:20 # Qué será, será #
00:15:27 In a new merger-policy shift...
00:15:28 it seems the Tropics will not
00:15:33 Saturday's matchup
00:15:35 will be the Tropics'
00:15:38 And in an act of great sacrifice...
00:15:40 Jackie Moon has helped
00:15:43 realize his NBA dreams...
00:15:45 by trading him to the Spurs.
00:15:46 Clarence baby, you made it!
00:15:51 Yes.
00:15:55 # Qué será #
00:15:59 # Qué será #
00:16:01 # Girl #
00:16:07 # Qué será #
00:16:11 For Lou Redwood, I'm Dick Pepperfield
00:16:16 No, actually we're down to our last night.
00:16:21 Shit.
00:16:31 Sup, chief?
00:16:33 Hey.
00:16:41 What are you doing here?
00:16:45 If you ain't heard, I got traded.
00:16:47 Yeah.
00:16:49 Coffee Black headin' to the NBA.
00:16:52 Big time.
00:16:54 Yeah, I just wanted to let you know,
00:16:58 the way you did it,
00:16:59 No, no, no, no.
00:17:02 Don't.
00:17:04 OK.
00:17:09 Let me ask you somethin', Monix.
00:17:12 Yup.
00:17:13 You already played for the NBA.
00:17:16 Your knee is gone...
00:17:19 you couldn't give a damn about the
00:17:22 What's the question?
00:17:25 What you playin' for?
00:17:32 I just wanna sit here
00:17:35 Yeah?
00:17:42 All right.
00:17:46 I just thought you'd wanna hear that.
00:17:48 Have a good one.
00:18:02 # Baby, are you ready
00:18:07 Jackie, where you at?
00:18:08 # I'm a big faker
00:18:13 # I wanna kill myself-y sexy #
00:18:19 # I'm gonna get an extension cord
00:18:25 Buddy. What are you doin'?
00:18:29 Right now I'm urinating on myself.
00:18:34 Listen, Jackie, I never thanked you.
00:18:38 - For what?
00:18:46 Now what is it... Don't eat that.
00:18:49 - What is that?
00:18:52 - Has that been there?
00:18:55 Listen, Jackie, I think
00:18:59 Why?
00:19:01 'Cause you're still the leader
00:19:09 OK.
00:19:11 You're a good man.
00:19:14 Should we...
00:19:16 I hate to see this go to waste.
00:19:18 It won't go to waste.
00:19:25 If I could have
00:19:27 Well...
00:19:29 I just wanted to take one last time
00:19:33 for all your hard work
00:19:40 My teammates, it was an honor
00:19:44 You guys are the best.
00:19:48 Even you, Vakidis.
00:19:52 You don't understand
00:19:56 To the Tropic Ball Girls...
00:19:59 I always thought I was gonna sleep
00:20:01 but that didn't happen.
00:20:06 That'll teach me to procrastinate.
00:20:09 Bobby Dee,
00:20:14 The son who's exactly
00:20:18 Well, kinda... You're like
00:20:21 Friend. A son-friend.
00:20:24 No, don't talk. You'll just make it worse.
00:20:31 I'm not makin'
00:20:37 - Jackie?
00:20:38 - Can I say a couple words?
00:20:41 Thanks.
00:20:47 So we all know
00:20:51 and we all know this game
00:20:55 I've been thinking...
00:20:58 We made it our mission
00:21:03 You know, fourth place is still out there
00:21:09 And we're this close.
00:21:11 Now I tried to pretend that
00:21:18 The truth is...
00:21:23 I never wanted anything
00:21:29 This game does matter.
00:21:31 It matters...
00:21:32 because this is the last real game of
00:21:38 Ever.
00:21:41 Saturday night, I say we leave it
00:21:45 because there is nothing else
00:21:50 Clarence or no Clarence,
00:21:57 this is for us.
00:22:05 Yeah. Let's do this.
00:22:08 Jackie Moon, I believe you have
00:22:11 - That's right.
00:22:13 - Gentlemen?
00:22:16 - Ladies?
00:22:17 - Yeah.
00:22:20 - Let me hear you say, "Fourth place!"
00:22:24 - Fourth place!
00:22:25 - Fourth place!
00:22:27 - Fourth place!
00:22:29 Look, the Spurs may be
00:22:32 but come Saturday night
00:22:36 Turtleneck.
00:22:37 Mr. Moon, since this game
00:22:41 what exactly is your motivation?
00:22:43 On Saturday, we're gonna be playing
00:22:48 White pants.
00:22:50 Yeah, I don't know if I understand
00:22:52 It's a Megabowl.
00:22:54 This is history in the making.
00:22:56 You're gonna wanna tell your grandkids
00:23:00 And when they look back
00:23:03 they're gonna be talkin'
00:23:05 discovery of fire,
00:23:09 and the Flint, Michigan Megabowl.
00:23:10 Right, but still the game doesn't count.
00:23:12 The trophy's 12 feet high.
00:23:17 Yeah, and when
00:23:19 that big gun's gonna shoot off.
00:23:21 The cannon doesn't actually fire.
00:23:23 We're gonna win the Megabowl.
00:23:25 Saturday! Eight o'clock!
00:23:28 Flint, Michigan Megabowl!
00:23:30 Flint, Michigan Megabowl!
00:23:34 Fourth place! Fourth place!
00:23:35 The Tropics seem to have captured
00:23:39 People have poured in
00:23:41 to root for this first Megabowl
00:23:45 - Fourth place! Fourth place!
00:23:47 and a wonderful night
00:23:50 Now, Flint will be playing
00:23:54 as the Spurs have traded for several
00:24:00 I was excited to be here
00:24:16 Why's it so quiet in here?
00:24:21 Monix, what time is it?
00:24:24 It's time.
00:24:37 It is a sold-out crowd here
00:24:42 as the Tropics walk onto the court.
00:24:45 I tell you what, Dick,
00:24:47 this heroes' welcome
00:24:51 This is extraordinary.
00:24:53 Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son...
00:24:55 and he has done more for this city...
00:24:58 than any human being
00:25:02 With the possible exception
00:25:06 Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city,
00:25:21 Good tip to the Spurs.
00:25:24 And wow! A little "How do you do?"
00:25:27 That's a pretty impressive start
00:25:29 Running roughshod over the Tropics.
00:25:35 Vakidis passes to Doubleday.
00:25:37 Rejected.
00:25:40 Scootsie passes to Jackie.
00:25:41 Out to Twiggy, and...
00:25:43 Stolen by Rebenkoff.
00:25:45 He pulls up for a dagger...
00:25:46 and ouch, three points.
00:25:48 Yeah!
00:25:50 Yeah, I don't feel good about this.
00:25:55 Shit!
00:25:59 It's hard to say where the Tropics
00:26:02 on defense or on offense.
00:26:04 And with Coffee Black on
00:26:07 You're goin' in, Coffee Black.
00:26:09 Coach, I've got back spasms.
00:26:13 Lutz, you're in.
00:26:19 Jackie! C'mon. Jackie, Jackie!
00:26:20 Moon to Ellis.
00:26:22 Ellis to Munson.
00:26:23 Munson to Monix.
00:26:25 Three points! Monix responds!
00:26:28 But it will take more than one fancy
00:26:35 This is easily the worst half
00:26:38 since Monix took over as coach.
00:26:40 - Yeah, it's a shit-fuckin'-sandwich, Dick.
00:26:44 With time expiring in the first half...
00:26:45 Monix splits the screen
00:26:48 He goes up strong...
00:26:50 Gets taken out by Petrelli.
00:26:51 I don't think I've ever seen anyone
00:26:55 - This looks serious.
00:26:57 Monix, you gotta hit him in the nuts!
00:27:00 Father Pat breaking up what
00:27:02 Come on. Jackie? Jackie.
00:27:05 - Come on, back to the bench.
00:27:08 He's got a pulse.
00:27:11 Let's get the stretcher.
00:27:13 - We don't have a stretcher.
00:27:16 - All right, well, let's get him up.
00:27:17 Let's get him in the locker room,
00:27:19 Come on, come on.
00:27:20 Jackie's teammates doing just
00:27:24 as they carry him off the court.
00:27:26 Come on, Jackie.
00:27:51 Yeah!
00:27:52 Where the hell
00:27:53 - Coffee!
00:27:54 You walk away from this team,
00:27:57 That's my son! That's my son!
00:27:59 - Go, Clarence! Go, Clarence!
00:28:01 Look at this. Coffee Black
00:28:05 This crowd is going crazy!
00:28:12 Come on, Jackie, wake up.
00:28:14 Jackie, come on,
00:28:16 Wake up. Come on, open 'em up.
00:28:19 - Hey, you got any smelling salt?
00:28:23 - Get up.
00:28:24 - Come on, Jackie.
00:28:26 Come on, baby.
00:28:28 Jackie.
00:28:33 Mom.
00:28:37 - I miss you, Mama.
00:28:40 - Come on, little fella. Jackie.
00:28:44 Clarence, what are you doin' here?
00:28:46 What it look like?
00:28:49 Are you outta your mind?
00:28:53 I don't care nothin' about that, man. This
00:28:57 So you're gonna blow the deal for this?
00:28:59 - Fourth place, right?
00:29:02 - Let's get Tropical.
00:29:04 Come on, buddy. Come around.
00:29:07 Now, I want you to go forward...
00:29:09 and tell the others
00:29:12 Do you understand me, son?
00:29:14 Yes, Mama. You're so kind.
00:29:17 I'm sorry I stole your song.
00:29:19 I forgave you for that a long time ago.
00:29:22 Jackie, it's time you forgave yourself.
00:29:26 I don't wanna leave this place.
00:29:29 Now hurry up,
00:29:33 OK. Bye!
00:29:36 Bye, Mama. Bye.
00:29:39 Bye.
00:29:41 Hey... I threw up, Mom.
00:29:43 I know you did, sweetie.
00:29:46 I threw up all by myself.
00:29:51 - That's workin'.
00:29:53 A little eye flutter. Hello, fella!
00:29:55 - Hey there!
00:29:56 We missed ya.
00:29:58 This just in.
00:29:59 It sounds like Jackie Moon is up
00:30:03 Then fake the pass and go straight
00:30:07 He keeps throwin' elbows.
00:30:09 I want you to stand up to him,
00:30:12 Monix, wait. I gotta tell
00:30:16 I had a dream.
00:30:18 I had a dream I was in heaven.
00:30:21 And my mother spoke to me.
00:30:24 She was wearing
00:30:25 and she showed me
00:30:29 She called it the alley oop.
00:30:33 She spoke to me and she said,
00:30:46 We are back in action here
00:30:49 Coffee Black is playing for the Tropics.
00:30:52 Jackie makes the start here.
00:30:54 In fact, it looks like
00:31:38 What was that?
00:31:40 I'm sorry, I don't know
00:31:42 A very unusual series of moves
00:31:49 Damn.
00:31:51 Yeah, I don't know why, Dick,
00:32:00 Foul. No, two fouls.
00:32:02 Foul?! I didn't touch anybody.
00:32:05 Look, Jackie, people can't just
00:32:07 Please. My mom
00:32:10 - What?
00:32:12 Heaven wants us to win this game!
00:32:14 - I'll burn your house down!
00:32:16 It can't be a foul without
00:32:19 And it can't be traveling without
00:32:23 - That's right.
00:32:25 It is two points.
00:32:30 - All right, I'm gonna allow it.
00:32:33 Two points, Flint.
00:32:35 Are you outta your mind?
00:32:37 - He was floating. Is this ghost ball?
00:32:39 - It's legal, Coach.
00:32:40 Yeah!
00:32:42 It worked, Jackie!
00:32:45 Thanks, Mama!
00:32:48 Things are getting interesting
00:32:50 It's the Spurs' ball
00:32:53 Misses it.
00:32:55 Rebound Tropics.
00:32:59 There it is again.
00:33:00 Clarence leaping and forcing the ball in
00:33:04 off of a high arching pass.
00:33:06 - It's a great play.
00:33:07 Hold on. I'm just being told
00:33:12 Yes, that is easier to say.
00:33:13 Twig!
00:33:16 Monix passes to Jackie.
00:33:18 Jackie lobs to Clarence.
00:33:19 And then, yes! Another alley oop.
00:33:21 The Spurs don't know what's hit 'em.
00:33:23 I love the alley oop.
00:33:28 Yes! Yeah!
00:33:31 # I wanna take you higher #
00:33:36 # I wanna take you higher #
00:33:38 Here comes the alley.
00:33:39 And there goes the oop!
00:33:51 Timeout, white.
00:33:53 In all my years of radio,
00:33:56 The Tropics have fought their way back
00:33:59 and now with 12 seconds left
00:34:03 they are down by two,
00:34:07 OK, guys, listen up.
00:34:09 We can't keep runnin' the alley oop.
00:34:12 So we're not gonna run the alley oop.
00:34:14 - What the hell we gonna run, then?
00:34:17 The puke?
00:34:18 Don't tell me you've forgotten it.
00:34:21 - This will work, OK? The puke.
00:34:25 I was gonna say exactly the same thing.
00:34:27 Good call. "Let's get Tropical" on three.
00:34:30 Let's get Tropical!
00:34:32 We're down to the last play.
00:34:34 Monix inbounds to Jackie.
00:34:35 Jackie passes right back to Monix.
00:34:37 Monix back to Jackie.
00:34:39 The Tropics have gotta
00:34:42 Yeah, they need to find a way
00:34:44 Monix finds Bee Bee.
00:34:47 - Fouled hard by Petrelli!
00:34:50 Don't you know
00:34:54 Father Pat struggles to keep order...
00:34:56 between these two tough,
00:34:59 All right. Black. Four-two.
00:35:03 - Come on, Jackie!
00:35:06 His team down by two,
00:35:09 All right, gentlemen.
00:35:13 Come on, Jackie.
00:35:15 Don't worry, guys. I got these.
00:35:19 Seriously, free throws are probably
00:35:26 What the hell are you doin', Jackie?
00:35:29 What, you never see me
00:35:32 He's shootin' granny style.
00:35:34 Always has.
00:35:36 Shit.
00:35:39 Here we go.
00:35:42 Jackie Moon holding the fate of Flint
00:35:46 - He kisses the ball for good luck.
00:35:53 It's good!
00:35:55 - Yes!
00:35:58 The Tropics need one more
00:36:00 Watch the lines. Move on the release.
00:36:04 One more, Jackie.
00:37:24 Flint wins the Megabowl!
00:37:28 Flint wins the Megabowl!
00:37:32 - Fourth place! Fourth place!
00:37:34 Go Tropics! Go Tropics! Go Tropics!
00:37:36 # And keep on wishin' #
00:37:39 # Remember your dreams
00:37:43 # So keep on pushin' #
00:37:47 Who's number four?
00:37:50 - Yeah, Scoots!
00:37:53 Just a moment.
00:37:59 - What are you doin'?
00:38:02 - Fourth place! Fourth place!
00:38:06 Fourth place! Fourth place!
00:38:07 - # Into the steeple of beautiful people #
00:38:11 # Where there's only one kind #
00:38:17 Yeah!
00:38:18 - Hey, Coffee.
00:38:19 I've changed my mind. I think we could
00:38:25 Thanks, Coach! Mama!
00:38:28 The NBA!
00:38:31 - Hey!
00:38:33 - Way to go!
00:38:35 # Move on up #
00:38:39 # And keep on wishin' #
00:38:40 - Yes!
00:38:44 - We did it! Yeah!
00:38:47 - Jackie!
00:38:48 - Congratulations on the Megabowl!
00:38:51 - Whatever that is.
00:38:53 - Yeah.
00:38:55 Yeah.
00:38:56 Listen, I'm gonna be working
00:38:59 and I want you to join me.
00:39:01 Me in the NBA?! Really?
00:39:04 My God, thank you.
00:39:07 - Jackie, you don't have to do that.
00:39:10 Mark my words,
00:39:14 Everybody panic!
00:39:17 It's just like the Titanic,
00:39:24 # Yeah #
00:39:26 # Hey #
00:39:30 # When you wish upon a star #
00:39:34 # Your dream
00:39:37 "Dear Dukes. I'm sorry it took so long,
00:39:41 No way. Really?
00:39:44 Actually, it's only 2,300.
00:39:46 I'll be payin' you the rest
00:39:50 Let's get Tropical. Jackie R. Moon.
00:39:53 # In the sky so very dear #
00:39:55 Bitchin'. Bitchin'.
00:39:58 - # You're a shinin' star #
00:40:00 # No matter who you are #
00:40:02 # Shinin' bright to see #
00:40:05 # What you can truly be
00:40:24 # Shining star come into view #
00:40:28 # Shine its watchful light on you, yeah #
00:40:33 # Gives you strength to carry on, yeah #
00:40:37 # Yeah, make your body
00:40:42 # You're a shining star
00:40:47 # Shining bright to see
00:40:51 # You're a shining star
00:40:56 # Shining bright to see
00:41:01 # Shining star for you to see
00:41:05 # Shining star for you to see
00:41:10 # Shining star for you to see
00:41:21 # Come on, girl #
00:41:23 # Yeah #
00:41:24 - # It's me, Jackie Moon #
00:41:26 # Don't gimme that look #
00:41:28 # That's right, let's get sweaty #
00:41:31 # Let's get real sweaty #
00:41:33 # I'm talkin' rainforest sweaty #
00:41:35 - # I'm talkin' swamp sweaty #
00:41:38 # Let's fill the bathtub full-a sweat #
00:41:41 # All right #
00:41:43 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:41:48 # Love me sexy #
00:41:49 # Baby, are you ready
00:41:54 # Lick me sexy #
00:41:55 # Take off your shoes
00:41:58 # Suck, suck, suck, suck,
00:42:00 # Baby, we're naked
00:42:05 # Humpin' sexy #
00:42:06 # I wanna do a little thing wit' you
00:42:12 # When I say "love me"
00:42:15 - # Love me #
00:42:17 - # Sexy #
00:42:18 - # Back it on up and showin' you #
00:42:21 # That lovin' me sexy is the thing to do #
00:42:22 # Oh, yeah #
00:42:24 - # Your body says love me #
00:42:25 - # Your mind says sexy #
00:42:27 # Love me sexy #
00:42:30 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:42:34 # Love me sexy #
00:42:35 # Baby, are you ready
00:42:40 # Lick me sexy #
00:42:41 # Take off your shoes
00:42:45 # Take off your shoes
00:42:47 # Baby, we're naked
00:42:52 # Humpin' sexy #
00:42:53 # Freak of the week #
00:42:54 # Are you in the mood #
00:42:56 # To fly to the stars
00:42:58 # When I say "love me"
00:43:00 # Yeah #
00:43:01 - # Love me #
00:43:03 - # Sexy #
00:43:04 # Our Zodiac signs are compatible #
00:43:07 # Clockin' that ass
00:43:10 - # Your body says love me #
00:43:11 - # Your mind says sexy #
00:43:13 # Love me sexy #
00:43:16 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:43:21 # Love me sexy #
00:43:22 # Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy? #
00:43:26 # Lick me sexy #
00:43:27 # Take off your shoes
00:43:30 # Take off your shoes
00:43:33 # Baby, we're naked
00:43:38 # Humpin' sexy #
00:43:40 # That's right, girl #
00:43:43 - # Let me whisper in your ear #
00:43:45 # Baby, wake up #
00:43:47 # We're naked
00:43:52 For the last 15 minutes, baby.
00:43:55 - # Love me sexy #
00:43:57 # Too late now, it's on #
00:44:02 # Baby, who wants to love me sexy? #
00:44:07 # Love me sexy #
00:44:08 # Baby, are you ready
00:44:13 # Lick me sexy #
00:44:14 # Take off your shoes
00:44:17 # Suck, suck, suck,
00:44:19 # Baby, we're naked
00:44:24 # Who wants to love me sexy? #
00:44:27 # Is it you? Is it you? #
00:44:30 - # Love me sexy #
00:44:33 # Is it you? Is it you? #
00:44:36 - # Take off your shoes #
00:44:37 # And suck me sexy #
00:44:39 # Is it you? Or is it you? #
00:44:41 # Baby, we're naked
00:44:45 Where are you, precious?
00:44:48 Dewie?