Shrek the Halls

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00:00:36 There. That's better.
00:00:43 All clean.
00:00:51 He sees you when you're sleepin'
00:00:54 What are you doing here?
00:00:56 - And what are you talking about?
00:01:00 Only 159 days left till
00:01:03 I'd better be good? How 'bout this? You
00:01:07 I don't care about Christmas.
00:01:14 Jingle bells, jingle bells
00:01:17 - Donkey!
00:01:19 Get your butt in gear
00:01:22 because without marshmallows,
00:01:25 Enough! I don't care
00:01:29 Now shoo!
00:01:31 OK. But don't say
00:01:38 Smashing through the snow
00:01:41 It's finally here. Tomorrow's Christmas
00:01:45 - No.
00:01:47 or hung your chestnuts
00:01:49 - Or figgified your puddin'?
00:01:51 Will you get it through your head?
00:01:53 No one here gives
00:01:56 A white Christmas!
00:01:59 And it's our first one together
00:02:03 Oh, yeah!
00:02:06 There's somethin' Shrek needs to...
00:02:08 Don't ruin the surprise
00:02:10 Surprise?
00:02:13 You're the best. Come on,
00:02:18 OK, you a dead man.
00:02:20 Hold that thought.
00:02:45 OH, good, you're still open.
00:02:47 No, we're closing now.
00:02:50 Wait, wait, wait! I need your help.
00:02:53 and I have no idea
00:02:56 Why didn't you say so?
00:02:58 I know all about Christmas,
00:03:01 Christmas for Village Idiots.
00:03:04 One, decorate house.
00:03:07 Step three, the Christmas feast.
00:03:09 - What's that?
00:03:12 The tree goes inside the house?
00:03:15 Anyway, step five, the telling
00:03:18 This is the step that says
00:03:21 for my perfect family perfectly.
00:03:24 everyone cozy and warm.
00:03:27 - Sure.
00:03:29 it's all right here.
00:03:31 - Perfect.
00:03:33 - I didn't get the eggnog!
00:03:37 - Dwight the Knight action figure?
00:03:39 Sweet potatoes are nothing
00:03:42 Bye-bye. Have a super Christmas.
00:03:52 Honey, is that you?
00:03:55 Fiona! What are
00:04:00 - Are you OK?
00:04:03 What are you? Are you decorating?
00:04:08 - Yeah, that. Surprised?
00:04:11 Well, this is our first
00:04:14 and, you know, I just want to
00:04:18 Shrek, I think... it's beautiful.
00:04:21 - It's passable.
00:04:23 - Donkey!
00:04:25 Whoever did this means business!
00:04:28 and get tinsel and doilies and ribbons
00:04:30 and some plastic reindeer.
00:04:32 What is it you wanted today?
00:04:34 It's Christmas Eve!
00:04:37 Go ahead, take a couple.
00:04:40 Oh, isn't that... nice.
00:04:43 Well, thanks for stopping by for that
00:04:47 there's a lot of work to do.
00:04:49 Just like him to wait till last minute.
00:04:51 Don't worry, there's one thing I
00:04:54 He's gonna want help,
00:04:57 Actually, I think what he really wants
00:05:02 Oh, a family Christmas.
00:05:06 Yeah. It's the
00:05:08 Don't say a word.
00:05:10 I got a lot to do now,
00:05:13 Thank you, Donkey!
00:05:15 All right. Merry Christmas!
00:05:17 Love and joy come to you
00:05:22 Donkey's right. It's Christmas Eve.
00:05:25 How am I ever gonna
00:05:28 This is gonna be
00:05:30 And we're going to do it together,
00:05:57 Everything looks so good!
00:06:00 Nice job, honey.
00:06:02 Well, we all did it together.
00:06:04 Now what would the perfect Christmas
00:06:09 'Twas the night before Christmas
00:06:14 Not a creature was stirring...
00:06:17 - Merry Christmas, Shrek!
00:06:20 We're here to smother you
00:06:22 Absolutely not!
00:06:25 How are you gonna have
00:06:27 - Seasons greeting!
00:06:29 - Merry Christmas!
00:06:31 Oh, yeah.
00:06:36 OK, I will assume the position.
00:06:42 - I am the joy-filled swine!
00:06:47 This is for stockings.
00:06:50 Donkey! Don't touch anything.
00:06:53 How we gonna roast chestnuts
00:06:56 Hey, baby, you mind?
00:07:02 - Oh, boy!
00:07:05 That was our supper!
00:07:08 Hey!
00:07:11 Did you hurt yourself
00:07:15 - Where are we going to put it?
00:07:17 Let's put it over here.
00:07:20 Come on, everybody, let's dance!
00:07:34 - Occupied!
00:07:39 - Yes?
00:07:42 I don't think
00:07:45 Come on. It's not that bad.
00:07:48 OK, I know you're
00:07:51 But what? This is not the
00:07:55 They're our friends, Shrek.
00:07:58 - How many babies did Fiona have?
00:08:01 - I don't know.
00:08:04 Surprised we have
00:08:06 - Are you coming?
00:08:09 Finally!
00:08:20 Look at him go!
00:08:21 Excuse me! Excuse me!
00:08:23 Excuse you for what?
00:08:25 I don't feel very good.
00:08:28 - I feel better now.
00:08:32 Sweetheart?
00:08:38 Mind if I cut in?
00:08:40 Don't stop believing
00:08:45 Up and down the boulevard
00:08:51 I am a little Christmas angel!
00:08:53 Hey there, my sweeties.
00:08:57 Would you like Daddy
00:09:01 Yeah?
00:09:02 The children were nestled
00:09:05 - while visions of sugarplums...
00:09:09 The Night Before Christmas?
00:09:12 - I'm the best teller ever!
00:09:14 I got it committed
00:09:15 - Gather round!
00:09:17 I'm supposed to tell
00:09:20 'Twas the night before Christmas
00:09:23 Finishin' up on my Christmas display
00:09:26 Now, missin' all this
00:09:29 So just follow me
00:09:31 Now, out in the yard
00:09:34 Is a spectacle there that'll
00:09:37 With 20-foot cheese balls
00:09:39 And yodelin' elves
00:09:42 A stage where acrobats
00:09:45 And honor the day
00:09:49 But just when you think
00:09:51 The Christmas parade
00:09:54 With holiday floats
00:09:57 With sugarplum fairies
00:10:00 There's a baton-twirlin'
00:10:02 Magical peacocks
00:10:09 And right when you think
00:10:12 Comes a huge waffle Santa
00:10:16 Ho, ho, ho!
00:10:19 With syrup and butter
00:10:22 As it's flanked by a choir
00:10:33 - Donkey.
00:10:35 - Donkey!
00:10:37 Donkey!
00:10:39 Very inappropriate, amigo.
00:10:42 - Oh, Puss, not you too.
00:10:44 we tell a very different tale
00:10:47 He's not made of waffles.
00:10:50 This Santa was suave
00:10:53 The Santa I know
00:10:57 He was dressed all in fur
00:11:01 And he stood there heroic
00:11:07 Red are his boots
00:11:10 - And so is his cape
00:11:13 His sword is a cane
00:11:17 He wears a fine belt
00:11:19 And there's a cute fuzzy thing
00:11:34 I have shamed myself.
00:11:37 - Olé!
00:11:39 if you leave now,
00:11:42 Phooey with all your
00:11:45 Where I come from,
00:11:51 'Twas the night before Christmas
00:11:55 Were my sweetheart beside me
00:11:59 ...until they got home.
00:12:01 When they looked at the car door
00:12:07 Gingy, cut it out! You're
00:12:10 Oh, come on,
00:12:13 Come here, you.
00:12:16 Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you.
00:12:18 What was that?
00:12:20 Oh, no, you don't. I'm not
00:12:23 No, I'm really, really
00:12:28 Gingy!
00:12:36 Suzie!
00:12:39 No! No! No!
00:12:42 That's the most ridiculous
00:12:45 - That's not how it goes.
00:12:47 All right, everyone,
00:12:51 All I wanted was a nice
00:12:55 That's exactly why we're all here!
00:12:59 No, Donkey, that's not what I meant.
00:13:05 - Hey, what's this?
00:13:08 - Why are you whisperin'?
00:13:17 - Heimlich!
00:13:18 - No, Heimlich!
00:13:27 My eye!
00:13:38 Stop, drop and roll, Shrek!
00:13:39 - Somebody get some water!
00:13:41 Don't worry, Shrek,
00:13:44 Oh, boy.
00:13:49 - The tea is ready.
00:13:51 I want everybody out
00:13:59 Well, that's a real nice way
00:14:03 And if you think I'm gonna give you
00:14:08 You want to give me a present?
00:14:11 - That's all I wanted!
00:14:14 Good, then go!
00:14:15 You go and have yourself
00:14:19 - Ebenezer Shrek!
00:14:27 - We could come to our house.
00:14:30 Now maybe we can...
00:14:34 Fiona? Where you going?
00:14:38 Shrek, you just kicked
00:14:41 Well, that wasn't Christmas.
00:14:44 Look, I know it didn't
00:14:47 What I wanted was a perfect
00:14:51 - That was our family.
00:14:53 That was a natural disaster!
00:14:56 On Christmas, that's how it
00:14:59 Yes, it got
00:15:01 - Fiona, they lit me on fire!
00:15:04 I had everything under control until
00:15:09 - Your Christmas?
00:15:12 For you, and the babies.
00:15:15 Christmas is not just about
00:15:22 You just don't get it.
00:15:23 I have to go. I need to
00:15:29 Fiona, wait.
00:16:19 I don't understand why
00:16:22 We were tryin' to do what you wanted!
00:16:24 - What're you talking about?
00:16:27 You and Shrek wanted to
00:16:30 I said it was our first
00:16:33 Right. That's me and everybody else.
00:16:35 Then he lost his temper like that.
00:16:37 You know, Donkey, none of us
00:16:41 I must agree with the Princess.
00:16:45 - I don't remember askin' you anything!
00:16:48 I'm sorry, Princess. You're right.
00:16:51 - Still, Shrek didn't have to be so...
00:16:54 Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean?
00:16:57 Well, maybe I am all those
00:17:02 So here's the thing.
00:17:05 I'm sorry you took getting kicked out
00:17:09 No, wait. What I meant to say is
00:17:13 I know you're just trying to be
00:17:17 - Ay, caramba!
00:17:21 - Shrek!
00:17:24 I shouldn't have lost my temper.
00:17:27 - Apology accepted. Let's eat.
00:17:29 There's somethin' more to this.
00:17:33 Look, all I wanted was to make
00:17:37 but I don't even know
00:17:42 The thing is,
00:17:47 Hold up, Shrek! You mean
00:17:49 - No.
00:17:51 - No!
00:17:52 no Santa, no presents,
00:17:54 - No nut cakes?!
00:17:57 No, none of that.
00:18:00 Ogres don't celebrate Christmas.
00:18:04 Ogres don't celebrate anything.
00:18:10 Oh, man, now I'm all emotional.
00:18:12 - Come here, gimme a hug!
00:18:16 OK, all right, I just...
00:18:18 excited about Christmas and
00:18:22 and everything,
00:18:25 It's about us all bein' together,
00:18:29 I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry
00:18:33 Christmas is all about big fights.
00:18:35 My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't
00:18:38 Usually that someone's me.
00:18:40 There is no right way to
00:18:43 Ja, with schnitzel!
00:18:44 - And eggnog!
00:18:46 - And family.
00:18:51 So despite the fact that you
00:18:55 Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you.
00:18:58 ...it would mean a lot to me if
00:19:04 OK, I guess I deserved that.
00:19:07 Don't push your luck.
00:19:10 They got you good, Shrek!
00:19:12 That wasn't even funny!
00:19:17 Well, that's the last
00:19:22 Sorry, but this is my spot. I never get
00:19:28 So we are pigs,
00:19:32 - Ja.
00:19:33 - This is funny then, ja?
00:19:35 - This is funny.
00:19:37 - Yep, that's a good one.
00:19:39 - It's time for lights out.
00:19:42 We haven't heard a bedtime story. Right?
00:19:45 Shrek, yeah!
00:19:48 All right. All right.
00:19:51 Don't need this.
00:19:53 OK.
00:19:56 'Twas the night before Christmas
00:20:00 Not a swamp rat did creep
00:20:02 As mother and babe
00:20:07 Now, the sight of the house
00:20:10 For 'twas sickeningly sweet
00:20:14 Yet who was arriving
00:20:18 The foul, the vile
00:20:22 Hey. How's it goin'?
00:20:24 He looked all around
00:20:27 And said...
00:20:29 And said...
00:20:31 This place is worse
00:20:35 So he grabbed up his belly
00:20:38 And let loose a...
00:20:41 That transformed the place
00:20:44 With a gleam in his eye
00:20:47 And then to the babies
00:20:50 A festering bottle
00:20:53 And for mommy a kiss
00:20:57 Four hundred twenty five degrees,
00:21:00 Then digging a finger
00:21:03 And giving a nod up
00:21:08 And I heard him exclaim
00:21:12 "Smelly Christmas to all,
00:21:18 Ho, ho, ho!
00:21:22 Ho, ho, ho!
00:21:24 - Ho, ho, ho!
00:21:28 Ho, ho, ho!