Six Shooter

en
00:00:30 I'm sorry, Mr Donnelly...
00:00:33 but your wife passed away at 3:00 this morning.
00:00:59 Would you like to see her?
00:01:04 Oh. Yes. Please.
00:01:11 I'd like to stay with you longer, Mr Donnelly,
00:01:18 Are you run off your feet, you are?
00:01:22 Two cot deaths and a woman.
00:01:24 Her son shot the poor head off her.
00:01:27 No! Is she alive or is she dead?
00:01:30 Ah, dead, dead.
00:01:37 I'll leave you to it.
00:01:52 I don't know what to say to you, babe.
00:01:58 I don't know what to say.
00:02:06 I brought you the photo of David.
00:02:18 I don't know what to say.
00:02:23 I don't know where you are now.
00:03:19 Anyone sitting here?
00:03:21 Oh, aye, there's hundreds of fellas, like.
00:03:26 - It was a simple question.
00:03:28 Them are the best type of questions.
00:04:13 You! Here, you!
00:04:17 - You seem a bit down in the dumps, like.
00:04:22 Do you hear this one?
00:04:26 - Chat with someone you know.
00:04:29 I haven't a friend in the world.
00:04:36 He's a bit huffy.
00:04:44 Hey, fella?
00:04:49 Huh?
00:04:50 Why is it you never get tall jockeys?
00:04:55 - The weight.
00:04:58 Jesus, the weight, eh?
00:05:01 But what do you do if you're a tall fella
00:05:04 It isn't fair on you, so it isn't.
00:05:06 Me mam always used tell us
00:05:08 that everybody could grow up
00:05:10 Now, in the case of tall fellas who want to be jockeys,
00:05:15 - You could show jump.
00:05:18 You're just clutching at fucking straws now.
00:05:21 You could show jump. Jesus!
00:05:29 Dressage. There's another cunt
00:05:32 Would you mind watching your bloody language?
00:05:34 Eh? This fella...
00:05:38 Jeez.
00:05:41 Well, I'm off to the buffet car
00:05:45 Anybody want anything?
00:05:49 - A cup of tea?
00:05:51 No, don't get your money out 'cause if you think
00:05:54 up and down for you,
00:06:02 - Are you okay?
00:06:09 Is anything the matter?
00:06:11 - Our son died last night. Cot death.
00:06:19 I'm sorry.
00:06:46 50p for a bag of Taytos.
00:06:49 I cannot believe the gall of the ginger little bitch.
00:06:55 - Oh, how much do I owe you?
00:06:57 - No, really.
00:06:59 Where's the old smiley twins?
00:07:04 - Their son died last night.
00:07:08 Oh, my God!
00:07:11 Did they kill it?
00:07:13 - No, they didn't kill it.
00:07:17 It was a cot death.
00:07:18 That's what they all say.
00:07:21 I would if I had a kid.
00:07:24 On something.
00:07:27 Like Marvin Gaye's dad.
00:07:29 I'd have shot Marvin Gaye
00:07:32 Get the cunt to shut up.
00:07:34 I'm surprised mams and dads
00:07:37 'Cause most kids are fucking rotten.
00:07:42 - Have you got kids?
00:07:44 Will you have?
00:07:46 'Cause it doesn't matter
00:07:48 Tony Curtis, he's fucking ancient
00:07:52 Not Tony Curtis, who? Rod Steiger.
00:07:58 Rod Steiger, aye. And he's fucking 100, like.
00:08:08 Did you ever shout at a sheep?
00:08:12 No.
00:08:13 Oh.
00:08:17 Oh, aye, here's Fred and Rosemary.
00:08:23 - Where are you headed? Dublin?
00:08:27 The city that never sweeps.
00:08:29 See, I needed some heroin and a shite accent,
00:08:33 If you use that language one more time,
00:08:35 I'm going to come over there
00:08:37 What language?
00:08:39 - It is.
00:08:42 - Pato!
00:08:44 Sure, let him hit me.
00:08:47 - Move somewhere else.
00:08:49 - I was here before all you spas.
00:08:55 Just one more crack. One more!
00:09:03 Listen, I'm not defending you no more, okay?
00:09:16 Here, I've this great story
00:09:19 - do you want to hear it?
00:09:23 Ar, ye's are no fun.
00:09:41 - You're not supposed to go up and down, no?
00:09:45 Do you have Pringles?
00:09:47 No. We got no call for fancy crisps round here.
00:09:52 - You don't sell spirits, no?
00:09:55 Oh, did I ask you what time it was?
00:09:57 What I thought I asked you was,
00:09:59 - Don't you be getting ratty with me.
00:10:02 - How was I getting ratty with you?
00:10:05 - Me face?
00:10:07 Well, would you like to work on a train?
00:10:08 Well, is it my fault that you have a shite job?
00:10:10 I didn't say I had a shite job.
00:10:16 Are you getting me my booze
00:10:34 Are you not supposed to go up and down, no?
00:10:40 - What can I get you?
00:11:00 Would he be retarded, do you think?
00:11:06 I wouldn't have said retarded, no.
00:11:15 No harm in him?
00:11:18 That's what I was trying to say to you, like.
00:11:26 Is that your dead kid? Give us a look.
00:11:33 He looks like your man off of Bronski Beat.
00:11:35 You remember your man off of Bronski Beat?
00:11:38 - No wonder you banged it on something.
00:11:43 That's what all you mams say.
00:11:45 Everyone knows if you're lumped
00:11:59 Well, don't blame that on me.
00:12:07 Hey, missus, your fella's back that way!
00:12:18 Was that a bit much now?
00:12:21 I think you might have gone
00:13:08 - Did you see where my wife went to?
00:13:11 She flung herself off the train five minute back,
00:13:15 He is retarded.
00:13:21 Sure, just look out along the train.
00:13:36 Don't look at me.
00:13:48 I mean, she was acting like an oddball
00:13:51 All crying all over the place
00:13:54 Wasn't she all crying
00:13:57 - Her son had just died.
00:14:00 Write that down 'cause that might've
00:14:06 That's him.
00:14:11 He looks like your man off of Bronski Beat.
00:14:14 - Your man off of where?
00:14:19 The gay man?
00:14:20 Aye, the gay man, the gay man, the gay man.
00:14:24 - Can I keep this?
00:14:27 Put it in your dead baby Bronski Beat
00:14:31 - Do I know you from somewhere?
00:14:38 Okay, what were you and Mrs Dooley
00:14:44 I was telling her me story
00:14:47 Aw, jeez, that wouldn't have sent her
00:14:51 Ah, no, I'm sure it was just some
00:14:58 Thanks for your time, lads.
00:15:04 And me thinking Freud had died long since.
00:15:37 Get that train stopped!
00:15:56 Jeez, you're so fucking maudlin.
00:16:03 - Have you no respect for the dead, no?
00:16:07 A black fella stole mine.
00:16:13 Admit it, fella, she was getting on your nerves,
00:16:21 Sure, my mam got murdered last night,
00:16:29 You're codding me?
00:16:31 Oh, aye. I'm forever codding people
00:16:34 Oh, a great source of amusement to me, it is.
00:16:38 You don't seem upset about it.
00:16:40 Well, she wasn't the most pleasant of women,
00:16:47 - My wife died last night.
00:16:51 - Did she get murdered, too?
00:16:55 Thank fuck. I thought we had
00:17:07 Ah, now, don't cry, old fella.
00:17:09 She's up with God now.
00:17:15 - I don't believe in God. Not no more.
00:17:21 - You're an old fella.
00:17:26 Why, what happened today...
00:17:31 Well, sure, that wasn't God's fault.
00:17:39 What?
00:17:42 Nothing.
00:17:43 Well, at last, a fucking smile out of you.
00:17:46 Here, do you want to hear me story
00:17:50 It's a fucking deadly story.
00:17:53 I would. I would like to hear it.
00:17:55 Would you? Fuck me!
00:18:00 And the thing is, it's fucking true, like.
00:18:05 So I was at this cattle fair with me da
00:18:08 All these fucking cows around,
00:18:12 And then this one cow got this trapped wind, like.
00:18:15 There's a technical name for it,
00:18:17 Anyways, this cow starts expanding like a mad thing,
00:18:22 and that's really dangerous
00:18:25 And nobody knew what to do till this short,
00:18:29 He was just passing by, like.
00:18:30 And he takes out a fucking screwdriver
00:18:34 and everybody's going,
00:18:37 and the short fella starts stabbing
00:18:41 And we all thought he was mental,
00:18:44 But then the cow started deflating back to normal,
00:18:47 'cause that's what you're supposed to do
00:18:50 Stab the fucker.
00:18:51 So everybody gave this short fella
00:18:55 But then he starts giving us his whole life story
00:19:00 And he says this gas that's coming out of the cow,
00:19:02 it's the exact same gas
00:19:05 and everybody said,
00:19:07 But the short fella said,
00:19:09 And he lights the fucking gas, like,
00:19:11 so there's this stream of fucking fire
00:19:15 and we were so impressed, like,
00:19:19 But then the gas must've backed up
00:19:21 'cause the cow fucking exploded.
00:19:52 Best day of me fucking life, that cow exploding.
00:20:08 - This is me.
00:20:10 Fair enough, so.
00:20:17 Good luck to you.
00:20:20 Fella?
00:20:24 Sorry to hear about your dead missus and all.
00:20:27 Oh.
00:20:30 Yeah. Thank you.
00:20:33 - Sorry about your mam.
00:21:08 Two cot deaths and a woman.
00:21:13 No!
00:22:01 No!
00:22:10 I didn't hit one of them.
00:22:12 That was fucking woeful shooting.
00:22:19 Do you know what I mean, like?
00:23:44 I hope I'll see you soon, babe.
00:23:49 If I don't, I don't.
00:24:42 There, there, there.
00:24:49 There, there, David.
00:24:57 There's one for the each of us.
00:25:08 I'll be following you shortly.
00:25:54 Oh, Jesus.
00:25:57 What a fucking day.