Smart People

en
00:01:00 Good morning.
00:01:01 Because it's important
00:01:04 I would like you to wear these.
00:01:09 I've taken two other courses
00:01:13 And you still don't
00:01:15 I most certainly do.
00:01:17 What is it?
00:01:21 - Look, Miss Chin...
00:01:28 The Price of Postmodernism:
00:01:30 Epistemology and the Literary Canon.
00:01:32 I've never had to wait this long
00:01:35 He said it's unpublishable.
00:01:37 - He said that?
00:01:39 Leave a message to call me.
00:01:45 Although we may think him
00:01:47 and see his Key to All Mythologies
00:01:51 she sees him
00:01:54 For next time, read Maud. All of it.
00:02:21 What are you doing?
00:02:28 There was a paper jam
00:02:33 Aren't you happy to see
00:02:34 Adopted brother.
00:02:39 How's the kitchen knife sales?
00:02:41 Or was it aluminum siding?
00:02:43 Calling cards. It's my new line.
00:02:46 It's all kinds of great deals,
00:02:50 We just added the tiny
00:02:54 I'm glad to see
00:03:00 Lawrence, listen.
00:03:05 Not again, please.
00:03:09 the last time that you showed up,
00:03:11 And before that it was another $600.
00:03:13 And I'm going to...
00:03:14 Whatever it is that you're asking,
00:03:17 the answer is no.
00:03:20 I love you.
00:04:00 Hey, I'm sorry to bother you,
00:04:02 to discuss the character of Casaubon?
00:04:04 - Do you think that Eliot...
00:04:06 The sign says they're till 5:00.
00:04:10 Okay, but my watch says it's 4:53.
00:04:11 That is official university time.
00:04:16 My watch, it's actually...
00:04:19 and it's accurate
00:04:22 Take it up with maintenance.
00:04:23 Their offices are across the campus,
00:04:26 Of course, they close at 5:00.
00:04:53 Good evening.
00:04:55 Hey, Dad.
00:05:05 We need to discuss something.
00:05:07 What is Gibraltar's?
00:05:09 I've underlined over $300
00:05:11 you charged there last month.
00:05:13 It's an art bookstore.
00:05:14 I'm taking art history
00:05:20 - I didn't know you wrote poetry.
00:05:33 Shit!
00:05:55 I need my car.
00:06:02 I need my car.
00:06:04 Well, I'm going to need to see
00:06:07 Davidson will take care of it
00:06:09 I have an arrangement with him.
00:06:13 I can't give you your car
00:06:14 I said Davidson will take care of it.
00:06:16 You don't even remember me, do you?
00:06:18 I took your Victorian poetry class
00:06:21 Yes?
00:06:24 You gave me a D.
00:06:26 Yes, I remember.
00:06:29 - Ben Onufrey.
00:06:31 No receipt, no vehicle.
00:06:33 I can see that you take your job
00:06:36 So how about that I offer you
00:06:39 $20 for your trouble?
00:06:43 According to rule 17-B
00:06:45 in the Carnegie Mellon University
00:06:47 Listen, you litigious little shit,
00:06:50 Now stop your babbling,
00:06:54 The only way you'll get in there
00:06:55 is if you pay the fine
00:06:58 At which point,
00:07:48 Hey!
00:07:55 Maybe you should spend less time
00:07:58 and more time being alert!
00:08:08 Mr. Wetherhold,
00:08:13 Mr. Wetherhold,
00:08:16 I was just resting my eyes.
00:08:18 Have you suffered seizures before?
00:08:20 Before what?
00:08:21 Before tonight.
00:08:23 You suffered a trauma-induced seizure
00:08:26 Do you know what day
00:08:28 Yes.
00:08:29 Well?
00:08:31 Well, what?
00:08:34 Are you always this contentious,
00:08:38 I prefer language to be precise.
00:08:41 Well, then you should have said,
00:08:45 not "I prefer language to be precise."
00:08:49 I'm thirsty. Would you...
00:08:52 You need to stay overnight
00:08:55 I need to make a phone call.
00:09:02 - Did he recognize you?
00:09:05 Well, you have aged.
00:09:07 Shut up. He told me
00:09:11 Was it? Lmprecise?
00:09:18 Hello?
00:09:20 Hi, may I please speak
00:09:32 I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
00:09:34 May I please speak
00:09:37 She's been dead for many years.
00:09:41 Whatever it is you're peddling,
00:09:43 I'm calling about your father.
00:09:44 He's not home.
00:09:47 No, he's here in the ER.
00:09:53 - Is he okay?
00:09:56 He suffered a concussion
00:09:59 Are you familiar with
00:10:01 'Cause I'm sure your father would love
00:10:03 You know,
00:10:06 And it is 10:00 right now,
00:10:08 which means
00:10:10 before I must go to bed.
00:10:12 You know, head injuries are often
00:10:15 And your point?
00:10:17 Well, I would hate for you
00:10:19 as not visiting your father
00:10:22 I appreciate the tip, Dr. Phil.
00:10:26 Little bitch.
00:10:27 Bitch.
00:10:41 Tetanus shot.
00:10:43 What happened to my car?
00:10:48 I imagine it's still there.
00:10:50 If anyone asks, I was mugged.
00:10:52 I'm not going to lie for you. Roll over.
00:10:54 Just be vague.
00:10:59 That's good.
00:11:01 There you go.
00:11:02 That was well done.
00:11:20 How nice of you to come.
00:11:22 So what happened to your head?
00:11:24 A big guy chased me.
00:11:27 It's all a blur.
00:11:29 Great, so now,
00:11:31 at least I have someone to blame.
00:11:33 And that adopted brother of yours,
00:11:36 He left a bunch of messages,
00:11:37 but I heard his voice
00:11:39 Yes, he showed up at
00:11:43 Oh!
00:11:44 It was so nice of you to come.
00:11:49 Now, I want you to call your brother.
00:11:51 Tell him to get my car
00:11:53 And to have it here at 9:00 a.m. Sharp.
00:11:57 Excuse me. No, you do that.
00:11:58 You know, because of the seizure,
00:12:01 I have to report it to the DMV.
00:12:03 No, just don't report it.
00:12:06 I'm not being your chauffeur
00:12:08 These times are crucial.
00:12:10 Young Republicans. Model UN.
00:12:14 I will hire a driver on Monday.
00:12:19 Okay, well, if you need anything,
00:12:21 I'm here all night. Okay?
00:12:25 Now, just go home and get some sleep,
00:12:27 and you'll get that perfect SAT score.
00:12:29 That's what I've been trying to do.
00:12:31 Mercurial.
00:12:34 I learned that word in the fifth grade.
00:12:37 Fecundity.
00:12:39 English is my first language.
00:12:42 Uxorious.
00:12:43 That's appropriately obscure.
00:12:47 Overly fond of one's wife.
00:12:49 That's my girl.
00:12:51 I have a good one.
00:12:53 Eft.
00:12:56 Let me ponder.
00:12:59 Short in stature. Diminutive.
00:13:03 No, sorry. Eft is a young newt.
00:13:07 They rarely put nouns on the SAT.
00:13:19 You knew that word, right?
00:13:21 Of course. A young newt.
00:13:25 I don't understand why
00:13:28 I only get one Saturday morning
00:13:31 Cry me a river.
00:13:35 Get off it, James.
00:13:38 So why did you try to jump
00:13:39 at the impoundment lot, anyway?
00:13:41 Where did you hear about the fence?
00:13:42 Two people from school
00:13:45 Can you please move
00:13:46 I seriously doubt that sitting
00:13:50 If I vomit, we'll both look stupid.
00:13:54 I remember when Mom used to drop
00:13:58 You sat in the passenger seat then.
00:14:18 What the hell are you doing here?
00:14:20 Watching a documentary
00:14:23 Hey, man.
00:14:24 Hey, Jim.
00:14:26 Good to see you, Chuck.
00:14:28 You look like you had
00:14:30 No, I don't think so.
00:14:32 I'm too old for this.
00:14:33 I would like an explanation.
00:14:37 Vanessa said that
00:14:40 So I'm here to help.
00:14:42 Yeah, he's pretty sure he's
00:14:45 I think I got the perfect score today.
00:14:48 There was one tricky math one...
00:14:50 Did it ever occur to you that
00:14:56 Let alone move in.
00:14:57 It did occur to me,
00:14:59 but Vanessa spoke
00:15:03 and they're not going to pay
00:15:06 And I already wrote a letter of complaint
00:15:08 and I wrote a request for an appeal.
00:15:10 So, if I could just get
00:15:16 I'm a little low on cash right now.
00:15:18 I can't really afford
00:15:21 So it's kind of a win-win situation.
00:15:24 No. It's not a win-win situation.
00:15:27 It might be,
00:15:32 - but you're not.
00:15:35 - There's linens and towels...
00:15:40 Thank you, Jim.
00:15:43 Do you even have
00:15:53 I need a ride to campus.
00:15:57 - in five minutes.
00:16:35 Make a left.
00:16:41 We need someone
00:16:44 and strong leadership experience.
00:16:46 Well, thank you, Martin.
00:16:50 You heard?
00:16:53 Word travels fast around here.
00:16:55 Usually it's a pain in the butt
00:16:57 to chair the search committee.
00:17:01 I thought we were hiring
00:17:04 You told me we were hiring
00:17:06 Well, everyone else
00:17:09 Delivering papers, publishing.
00:17:11 Have you read
00:17:13 Most of it's garbage.
00:17:15 That's not very collegial.
00:17:17 Well, neither is forcing me
00:17:21 I am busy, too.
00:17:22 When was the last time
00:17:25 When was the last time
00:17:26 there was anything on the agenda
00:17:28 I need you to do this.
00:17:30 Bon appétit, Martin.
00:17:35 Now that Roth has forced me
00:17:37 I can't very well
00:17:40 You should have had that position
00:17:42 I mean, that was a travesty
00:17:44 You were nine years old at the time.
00:17:46 I will tell Roth
00:17:48 and it precludes me
00:17:51 Why do you even want
00:17:53 You don't like any of
00:17:55 and you certainly don't like
00:17:58 You know, James,
00:18:00 when students were
00:18:03 Today's students are
00:18:08 Dick Cheney.
00:18:11 His daughter is a lesbian.
00:18:14 And while her partner is
00:18:18 they never allowed her
00:18:21 Okay, well, the point is, in 2000,
00:18:23 Cheney was the chair of Bush's
00:18:27 You know, he nominated himself.
00:18:30 Nominating myself?
00:18:34 It's the democratic process.
00:18:37 If it can work
00:18:42 it can work for you.
00:18:48 I wanted to call you
00:18:50 before we were deep into final exams.
00:18:52 We've received over 200 applications.
00:18:55 Fewer than 10 of the applications
00:18:59 Based on what criteria?
00:19:01 The criteria listed in the official
00:19:05 When we did this before,
00:19:06 we spent a few sessions
00:19:09 for candidate evaluations.
00:19:11 One based on more humanistic ideals.
00:19:17 A few of the better applicants
00:19:18 forgot to include copies
00:19:21 with their applications.
00:19:22 Personally, I find the evaluations
00:19:24 that students write about me
00:19:27 It's mostly just speculation
00:19:34 Try not to blink.
00:19:35 This is rather uncomfortable.
00:19:38 Okay. We're set, Mr. Wetherhold.
00:19:43 How come my follow-up
00:19:46 That's because she's the head
00:19:48 not a neurologist like myself.
00:19:51 You know, she's gonna kill me
00:19:53 but she used to be a student of yours,
00:19:57 I've had lots of students.
00:19:59 I think she had a schoolgirl crush,
00:20:04 She did, did she? Are we done?
00:20:08 Yeah.
00:20:10 Pleasure.
00:20:13 Yeah. Still around.
00:20:14 Here you go, miss.
00:20:16 Hi.
00:20:20 How's your head?
00:20:23 Yes, everything is fine.
00:20:29 I figured it out.
00:20:32 You were my student.
00:20:37 You must forgive me
00:20:39 when they brought me into the ER.
00:20:46 Did you lose weight?
00:20:49 No, not at all. Same weight.
00:20:55 Night.
00:21:07 What are you doing?
00:21:08 Are these your mom's?
00:21:10 Don't get mayonnaise on them.
00:21:21 You know,
00:21:22 It sets the tone for the day.
00:21:25 How do you know what tone
00:21:35 Don't you think it's kind of weird
00:21:37 to keep dead people's clothes
00:21:40 - Yes.
00:21:43 It's really not a good thing for him.
00:21:47 If we donate them to Goodwill,
00:21:52 which is great.
00:21:58 You're a monster.
00:22:12 May I give you a ride home?
00:22:15 No, thank you. My adopted brother
00:22:20 Are you sure? It's pretty cold.
00:22:31 Okay, thank you.
00:22:33 Here.
00:23:01 Don't forget the tax receipt.
00:23:04 Right.
00:23:06 You know, you can sit up front
00:23:09 That's okay. I'm fine.
00:23:12 I get
00:23:14 nauseated if I ride
00:23:23 Dr. Strouse said I was fine
00:23:25 and I was wondering
00:23:28 and have them repeal
00:23:31 That's not how it works.
00:23:38 So what are you teaching
00:23:40 I'm teaching two sections
00:23:44 Do you like the Victorians?
00:23:46 I used to.
00:23:53 - The Victorian novel, huh?
00:23:55 Wow, how many times
00:23:59 You never tire of Bleak House.
00:24:01 I can always find something new
00:24:14 Don't you have anything better to do?
00:24:30 You need to relax.
00:24:31 You need to relax. I need to study.
00:24:40 Great, I'm in an after-school special.
00:24:44 You know, your dad used to smoke
00:24:46 when he was in grad school.
00:24:47 Oh, yeah?
00:24:49 He was too scared to buy it,
00:24:52 They called him Hookah Larry.
00:24:55 Look, your pathetic attempts
00:24:58 they're never going to work.
00:25:21 Okay, shut up and give it to me.
00:25:25 If this gives me brain damage,
00:25:29 I will kill you.
00:25:35 Lupita is crying over Pedro,
00:25:39 She's going to leave Manuel,
00:25:41 He's such a machismo.
00:25:45 She's going to move in with Diego.
00:25:47 He's really handsome and built.
00:25:51 If your Spanish were better,
00:26:06 Thank you for driving me.
00:26:07 You're welcome.
00:26:14 This is your house, right?
00:26:18 Yes.
00:26:31 Shit. Wait! Wait! Wait!
00:26:38 I forgot this.
00:26:46 Would you
00:26:48 like to have a face-to-face
00:26:50 conversation sometime?
00:26:54 We could finish our
00:26:57 We weren't really having a
00:27:05 I suppose I'd have to drive.
00:27:08 I hadn't thought of that.
00:27:14 How about Friday night at 7:30
00:27:16 for a face-to-face conversation?
00:27:19 That would work.
00:27:22 Okay, bye.
00:27:39 Smell something burning?
00:27:42 Maybe cannabis?
00:27:47 Are you mad?
00:27:49 I waited outside
00:27:54 Where were you?
00:27:56 Helping Vanessa with her Spanish.
00:28:00 Lost track of time, sorry.
00:28:15 Where'd you get that?
00:28:19 The closet.
00:28:20 I told him Wellesley
00:28:23 That's Caroline's sweatshirt.
00:28:25 That, too. I told him that, too. I told him
00:28:28 it was Mom's sweatshirt.
00:28:31 Take it off, please.
00:28:34 Did it ever occur to you
00:28:40 Please don't rip it.
00:28:52 I think
00:28:55 "I told him Wellesley
00:28:59 God, what a narc.
00:29:29 You know, we didn't just
00:29:32 We did it for your
00:29:35 Will you wait in the car?
00:29:45 Let's see, "Professor Wetherhold
00:29:49 "An asshole," "Unfair..."
00:29:52 Here's one.
00:29:53 What does it say?
00:29:54 "Professor Wetherhold
00:29:56 "but he doesn't impart that knowledge
00:29:58 "He barked information at us
00:30:00 "and then he complained
00:30:03 "to his bizarre standards."
00:30:05 I'll dig deeper.
00:30:11 Hey, can we go to the mall
00:30:14 There's, like, three games
00:30:16 I can't go to the mall tonight.
00:30:19 - Why's that?
00:30:21 Yeah, busy with what?
00:30:24 I have an appointment.
00:30:27 Really?
00:30:28 With who?
00:30:30 - With none of your business.
00:30:33 None of your business.
00:30:34 I just want to know. God!
00:30:39 Dr. Hartigan.
00:30:42 - I knew it.
00:30:45 You spend $50 on dinner,
00:30:48 that's grounds for intercourse
00:30:51 Dad, if there are any romantic inklings,
00:30:55 I mean the sociosexual
00:30:59 And look, let's not forget
00:31:04 Widowers. At some point the statute
00:31:08 We're not talking about this anymore.
00:31:14 Don't freak out and sabotage it
00:31:17 I don't always freak out
00:31:20 Yeah, well, this hospital is littered
00:31:23 It's littered with men
00:31:26 - What are you doing?
00:31:29 Nothing. I'm just reading something.
00:31:56 - Hi.
00:31:57 How are you?
00:32:01 What are you doing here?
00:32:04 Excuse me?
00:32:09 He's kind of a fragile guy.
00:32:12 You know, he's not ready for this.
00:32:14 He's fragile? What do you mean?
00:32:18 You know what?
00:32:22 Have you forgotten about
00:32:25 about not fucking your patients?
00:32:29 Your father's no longer my patient.
00:32:49 We respond to literary texts
00:32:51 using precisely the same
00:32:55 as authors and poets use
00:32:57 So there's no need to posit
00:33:01 or ruptured consciousness.
00:33:03 - Are you following me?
00:33:04 Any coffee?
00:33:06 - Yeah. I want...
00:33:09 I'll tell you what.
00:33:11 One piece of chocolate cake
00:33:16 - So no one...
00:33:18 ...has ever looked at this process
00:33:22 45 minutes.
00:33:25 - Excuse me?
00:33:28 That's how long it's been
00:33:34 I mean, do you even know
00:33:36 Where I grew up, where I live?
00:33:37 Do you know anything
00:33:39 What kind of day did I have?
00:33:41 Well, if you actually did want to know,
00:33:44 I was having a great day
00:33:47 when I realized
00:33:50 In fact, you actually gave me a C
00:33:56 You said my paper was sophomoric.
00:33:59 I was a freshman.
00:34:01 That's not what sophomoric means.
00:34:03 I know. See, I know that.
00:34:06 You know, the other night
00:34:08 I actually thought I saw
00:34:12 But now I'm back to thinking
00:34:17 who made me switch my major
00:34:19 Well. Certainly an established
00:34:23 for a grade she received
00:34:26 This was a mistake.
00:34:28 Your daughter was right.
00:34:31 Thank you.
00:34:34 It's probably better
00:34:49 I take it by your presence here at 8:45,
00:34:56 Yeah, come in, unless it's Chuck.
00:35:01 I'm back.
00:35:02 Thank God.
00:35:08 This is a good-sized room.
00:35:10 Yeah, I'm pretty sure
00:35:17 Do you think I'm self-absorbed?
00:35:21 I think self-absorption's underrated.
00:35:26 I think everyone needs
00:35:29 some capacity for sympathy, empathy.
00:35:34 - Right?
00:35:37 Theresa Sternbridge practically runs
00:35:41 and she's always seen posing
00:35:45 and dying, old, crusty ladies.
00:35:49 And do you know why?
00:35:52 She scored in the 45th percentile
00:35:58 People like you and me
00:36:03 You know, I'm glad you're home early.
00:36:05 That physician wasn't good for you.
00:36:06 That physician wasn't good for you.
00:36:07 Too young and kind of uncultured,
00:36:10 like oh-so-many
00:36:15 I thought of the perfect new title
00:36:25 Right?
00:36:28 Good night.
00:36:29 Bonsoir.
00:36:50 Someone please shed some light
00:36:56 Where is the narrator in my life
00:37:01 Maybe he doesn't know where I've fled
00:37:07 Running through the city in my head
00:37:13 I shed regret
00:38:10 What are you doing here?
00:38:12 That gurney was sterile.
00:38:15 I re-read your essay.
00:38:18 And...
00:38:19 At first I considered
00:38:22 but then, I decided
00:38:27 Do you honestly think
00:38:30 when I was a freshman in college?
00:38:32 I mean, I admit that the paper,
00:38:34 "lacks a clear focus
00:38:38 But I read it again the other day
00:38:46 I should have been more diplomatic
00:38:51 and as your dinner date.
00:38:53 True.
00:38:56 I'm just out of practice.
00:38:57 What? Usually you're better
00:39:01 Could we give this
00:39:06 face-to-face conversation
00:39:12 I haven't been on a date in a while.
00:39:19 I'd have to drive again, I suppose.
00:39:36 Merry Christmas!
00:40:08 Fuck!
00:40:10 It was clever of you
00:40:13 I wanted to make sure
00:40:22 Would you like
00:40:24 Well, I'm on call tonight,
00:40:28 - You're on call?
00:40:31 So this date may end at any moment?
00:40:34 Well, if I'm paged, yes.
00:40:36 - I can come back in a minute.
00:40:37 It's okay. It's okay.
00:40:40 and a house salad, and
00:40:43 And for you, sir?
00:40:44 Oh, yes, the clock is ticking.
00:40:46 I'm going to have the cod
00:40:48 and house salad,
00:41:04 I'm sorry I called you
00:41:07 You called me a pompous windbag.
00:41:12 So have you heard back yet from any
00:41:15 Did you ever tell me
00:41:19 Well, how long ago did you send it?
00:41:21 Well, a few weeks ago.
00:41:26 - What are you doing?
00:41:28 I'm asking you about the book.
00:41:30 Yes, and I'm not taking the bait, am I?
00:41:34 Come on, I'm interested in the book.
00:41:40 It's been rejected by a few publishers.
00:41:47 Actually, it's been rejected
00:41:52 Rejection is tough.
00:41:55 It can scar you for life.
00:41:58 But you can rewrite it.
00:41:59 You can, you know,
00:42:12 It's about time!
00:42:21 That's some real riveting shit there.
00:42:23 You Young Republicans
00:42:26 Bet you guys are a lot of fun
00:42:28 I have fun.
00:42:29 You're at a Hitler Youth Rally
00:42:33 My fun is just a little more cerebral
00:42:36 Come on. When was the last time
00:42:39 Or subversive? Huh?
00:42:42 Do you know what you're doing?
00:42:44 Jesus.
00:42:45 I bet you never cheated
00:42:49 Or jaywalked.
00:42:51 Well, I've smoked pot
00:42:54 Okay, that was because I coerced you.
00:42:58 You didn't do that of your own volition.
00:43:00 You're really in jeopardy of becoming
00:43:03 Okay, shut up.
00:43:05 'Cause you really don't know me.
00:43:08 I actually got accepted to Stanford
00:43:14 Really? But Carnegie Mellon is free
00:43:17 And Stanford's, I don't know,
00:43:21 40 grand, actually.
00:43:26 Well, your father is gonna kill you.
00:43:29 But for the time being,
00:43:35 Come on, little mermaid,
00:43:50 Think older. You'll appear older.
00:43:53 I want you to grab that table.
00:43:58 There's too many things I can't afford
00:44:04 So what do you mean when you say
00:44:10 Keep your eye out, there's a guy
00:44:14 Out on the town with Grandpa?
00:44:16 Fuck off.
00:44:18 - Those seem like nice girls.
00:44:22 I wouldn't wanna rush you
00:44:26 Fuss you
00:44:29 But I love love love you
00:44:32 That's disgusting.
00:44:35 That is disgusting.
00:44:40 You must miss your wife.
00:44:45 Sorry, I shouldn't be so direct.
00:44:47 If my wife, Caroline,
00:44:50 she would be telling me
00:44:55 She was a lovely,
00:44:59 And she'd want you to know it.
00:45:02 But she'd also advise me
00:45:06 on a date with a beautiful woman.
00:45:14 And she'd be wondering
00:45:17 when I was going to get around
00:45:25 I wouldn't wanna rush you
00:45:29 Fuss you
00:45:31 I wouldn't wanna rush you
00:45:36 Fuss you
00:45:38 But I love love love you
00:45:42 Love love love you
00:45:45 Said I love love love you
00:45:48 Love love love you
00:45:52 What is it like being stupid?
00:45:56 What's it like sitting alone
00:45:59 It sucks.
00:46:02 Come with me.
00:46:22 I'm
00:46:24 not used to condoms,
00:46:31 Very nice.
00:46:36 'Cause I just don't want
00:46:45 Do you have any plans for Christmas?
00:46:53 Will you excuse me for a minute?
00:47:01 'Cause my daughter, Vanessa,
00:47:32 I was just paged.
00:47:39 I haven't been up this late in years.
00:47:41 If this were a book
00:47:46 I once knew a man
00:47:53 So predictable
00:47:58 I'm at a loss for words
00:48:06 I stitch this bow
00:48:33 Linsey hates me, you know?
00:48:36 Brooke hates me. Everybody hates me.
00:48:38 Well, if you tell people they're
00:48:45 And I wasn't completely
00:48:49 congenial when you first came.
00:49:02 You're right.
00:49:04 - But you like me now.
00:49:09 Vanessa,
00:49:13 come on...
00:49:15 You're adopted. It's not like it's...
00:49:19 Biblical...
00:49:22 You just want to fuck
00:49:24 Yeah, that's none of your business.
00:49:27 You're drunk
00:49:31 - My shoe.
00:49:44 Come on.
00:49:48 Hey, you!
00:49:50 Are you drunk?
00:49:55 - Did you get her drunk?
00:49:56 - She seems drunk.
00:50:04 How was your date?
00:50:07 You're a giant toddler.
00:50:11 Mom and Dad
00:50:13 allowing you to become
00:51:02 Vanessa, did anyone call me today?
00:51:07 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a telemarketer.
00:51:11 It was a man.
00:51:13 You're acting very desperate.
00:51:21 I got it.
00:51:25 Will you stop avoiding me?
00:51:28 I was drunk.
00:51:31 I'm not avoiding you.
00:51:32 I just need some time alone, please.
00:51:46 Thank you.
00:52:22 Hi, Janet, sorry to leave you
00:52:26 but I realized that you may not have
00:52:28 and that's why you haven't
00:52:31 My number is...
00:52:47 Didn't you prove the other night
00:52:50 I'm having one glass, moron.
00:52:54 And I chose this Beaujolais
00:53:08 Neither of you is old enough
00:53:15 Dude.
00:53:18 Let's all just get drunk.
00:53:19 I need something
00:53:22 Actually, I downloaded the recipe
00:53:26 I translated it from Old French.
00:53:29 It dates all the way back to Louis XIV.
00:53:32 And he was the one
00:53:33 dishes should be served in courses,
00:53:36 because before that,
00:53:40 Maybe you messed up the translation,
00:53:43 Well, if you'd like,
00:53:46 That's enough. Enough.
00:53:54 - Well, this is cheerful.
00:53:58 Who would think to interrupt
00:54:15 - Hi.
00:54:17 You're the doctor girlfriend, right?
00:54:18 You're the adopted brother, right?
00:54:22 Well, you don't appear to be boring.
00:54:25 Well, you've just met me.
00:54:28 You've presented yourself here,
00:54:30 uninvited and unannounced
00:54:33 That is not boring. And the cake?
00:54:38 Lexotonin? That's an antidepressant.
00:54:41 I stole it from the break room.
00:54:44 - Am I interrupting anything?
00:54:47 We could use a little antivenom
00:54:49 Thank you very much.
00:54:52 Hi.
00:54:54 Hi. Merry Christmas.
00:54:56 Merry Christmas.
00:55:10 The woman brought a cake.
00:55:15 Hello.
00:55:18 Vanessa!
00:55:20 I'm getting the physician a plate!
00:55:46 My, what a generous portion.
00:55:49 Enjoy.
00:55:50 Well, Vanessa here
00:55:52 I mean, daughter.
00:55:53 Yes, if, by perfect, you mean
00:55:55 not retardedlsuffering from
00:56:00 then, yes, I am indeed perfect.
00:56:02 Would you two please stop bickering?
00:56:05 These children haven't
00:56:08 That's why I was brought in.
00:56:09 To ensure that they don't
00:56:14 Merry Christmas.
00:56:20 Please.
00:56:24 "So much depends upon
00:56:27 "a red wheelbarrow..."
00:56:28 William Carlos Williams.
00:56:31 He was a physician.
00:56:33 Yes, I know that.
00:56:36 Many considered him to be an imagist,
00:56:40 eschewing the poetic traditions
00:56:42 in favor of celebrating
00:56:47 But I digress.
00:56:51 I like suburban Pittsburgh
00:56:55 Yes, it's really glamorous.
00:56:57 You're in the
00:57:00 Paris of Western Pennsylvania.
00:57:06 I'm really glad that you stopped by.
00:57:19 I just saw Dad and the physician
00:57:22 I am going to puke.
00:57:24 Why does physical affection
00:57:28 It doesn't, actually.
00:57:30 Well, you're not the only one
00:57:32 And what's your point?
00:57:34 I saw you both at Gibraltar's. Drunk.
00:57:37 I saw you, too.
00:57:38 I saw you, too, man. Bravo.
00:57:52 I am proud that we whittled it down
00:57:55 I have another candidate in mind.
00:57:58 Who?
00:58:01 Me.
00:58:02 Can you apply?
00:58:06 Yes, I am permitted to apply.
00:58:09 It's well within Carnegie Mellon's
00:58:13 It's part of the democratic process.
00:58:19 Tick, tock.
00:58:23 But now, in the new days...
00:58:26 Do you know its meaning?
00:58:33 When I come back,
00:58:41 Vanessa, this phone
00:58:44 I didn't want to call you
00:58:48 Are you coming home for dinner?
00:58:49 Because Chuck's gone
00:58:52 I'm eating here tonight.
00:58:54 Well, that's just fantastic.
00:58:57 What am I supposed to do
00:59:00 and the garlic whipped potatoes?
00:59:05 I'm going to be home in a few hours,
00:59:09 Just a plate.
00:59:14
00:59:18 This is Lawrence Wetherhold.
00:59:23 This is Deb Rosenblatt,
00:59:26 Bloomberg really liked
00:59:28 and he would like to meet
00:59:29 Well,
00:59:30 it is a very interesting concept, isn't it?
00:59:38 Yeah, I always wondered
00:59:43 Where have you been?
00:59:46 I've been busy.
00:59:47 I don't want you to feel uncomfortable
00:59:50 I completely respect
00:59:53 and I will refrain
00:59:58 Truth be told,
01:00:01 Someone my own age.
01:00:03 What's his name?
01:00:07 Her name
01:00:10 is none of your business.
01:00:12 I will be staying at her apartment
01:00:16 So does she know you're gay?
01:00:21 I don't think that you and I
01:00:25 Well, that's just... It's idiotic.
01:00:29 I mean, who am I supposed to
01:00:31 I just think that we both need to,
01:00:36 My life begins when I set foot
01:00:42 The cab was $9!
01:00:45 I'll pay you back.
01:00:48 Well,
01:00:51 - they're publishing my book.
01:00:54 Who the fuck's gonna read that?
01:00:56 Bloomberg. I knew it. I so knew it!
01:00:59 Well, when do we...
01:01:02 You have school.
01:01:04 So I'm taking Janet and
01:01:07 flying to New York on Monday.
01:01:16 You have school.
01:01:25 So I sort of met somebody.
01:01:28 I was kind of hoping
01:01:31 to get my own apartment.
01:01:33 You know, more and more,
01:01:39 I need you here.
01:01:41 So, no.
01:01:49 There was a twinkle
01:01:53
01:01:56 About a girl who's just informed me
01:01:59 That all she needs to love me
01:02:07 She don't need no shiny diamonds
01:02:10 She just needs me there beside her
01:02:23 It's almost 10:00. I need to leave.
01:02:29 Good luck. Knock 'em dead!
01:02:34 Does this suit make me look too eager?
01:02:37 How can a suit make anyone
01:02:44 - Wish me luck.
01:02:47 You're starting to make me nervous.
01:02:51 Goodbye.
01:03:00 At first I thought it was
01:03:03 What?
01:03:04 Till I got to the third section,
01:03:05 where I noticed a certain
01:03:08 the surly, smarter-than-thou
01:03:11 People love to hate books like this.
01:03:14 NPR will attack the book immediately.
01:03:16 And before you know it, you'll be
01:03:19 That's not the point of the book.
01:03:24 I understand your hesitancy,
01:03:25 but when was the last time
01:03:28 actually edited?
01:03:31 We spent the entire staff meeting
01:03:33 Marketing guys loved it.
01:03:36 It's almost like the book itself
01:03:42 You Can't Read.
01:03:46 You Can't Read.
01:03:48 Brilliant!
01:04:24 Shit.
01:04:41 - Hey.
01:04:44 Well, how'd it go?
01:04:47 Great. They loved me over there.
01:04:53 Well, you seem happy.
01:04:56 Well, wait, wait. Don't open that yet.
01:04:58 Well...
01:05:00 They've edited it, significantly.
01:05:04 It's intelligent, but very contrary,
01:05:12 Well, how much did they edit it?
01:05:15 Well, Penguin has...
01:05:19 and there comes a time when
01:05:24 And are you honestly okay
01:05:26 Well, Bloomberg wants
01:05:33 I thought you and I were going out
01:05:36 They want to take us out.
01:05:42 And I'm your...
01:05:45 I don't know. What am I to you?
01:05:49 Well, for lack of a better term,
01:05:53 No, what am I to you? Not just a term.
01:05:57 You're everything that a girlfriend is.
01:06:04 You can't answer, can you?
01:06:12 Please, would you just
01:06:15 You know what?
01:06:18 I couldn't go out tonight anyways.
01:06:30 You'd think their parents would
01:06:33 They've probably been
01:06:35 They should be encouraged
01:06:37 Your book's not published yet.
01:06:38 You don't have to act
01:06:46 What is with you?
01:06:49 No, Lawrence, I'm the same person.
01:06:53 I can't win.
01:06:54 Call me a grouch,
01:06:57 to let kids run around an airport
01:07:01 When you have children,
01:07:04 This isn't about unsupervised kids
01:07:08 Excuse me, sorry.
01:07:18 You don't seem interested
01:07:20 or becoming head of the department.
01:07:22 I mean, why don't you ask?
01:07:26 Okay. What the hell's your problem?
01:07:30 I don't want to talk about it right now.
01:07:36 I have it.
01:07:42 You don't seem very happy.
01:07:46 I'm not happy. Not even close.
01:07:52
01:07:59 Have I gotten
01:08:02 My heart nor my soul
01:08:08 There's a lesson I learned
01:08:11 Love is gone
01:08:23 So I put some flowers on Mom's grave.
01:08:27 Like just a dozen or so
01:08:32 You kind of owe me $64.
01:08:35 The 17th. I'm sorry.
01:08:38 No, it's...
01:08:40 You know, it's not like Mom knew
01:08:43 Besides, I'm a big girl. I can handle it.
01:08:50 How are you?
01:08:54 Maybe this weekend, you and I
01:09:01 Dad,
01:09:02 you just got a huge book deal,
01:09:04 and the head of the department
01:09:06 and everything's kind
01:09:10 don't screw everything up, okay?
01:09:14 You know, I read in Cosmopolitan
01:09:17 about half the time you date someone
01:09:21 And, what, you've dated Janet
01:09:24 - You read Cosmopolitan?
01:09:29 Like, at the supermarket,
01:09:35 You know that physician,
01:09:39 she's just a rebound relationship,
01:09:43 A rebound from what?
01:09:45 From Mom.
01:10:06 Lawrence,
01:10:09 Thank you.
01:10:10 And James' poem being accepted
01:10:14 With Lawrence's book it may seem like
01:10:16 bringing the other three candidates
01:10:19 But according to the bylaws,
01:10:22 What about his recommendation letter?
01:10:24 Lawrence, could you
01:10:27 It's an examination of critical theory
01:10:29 from the standpoint that
01:10:31 I start out with a brief history
01:10:38 Penguin Group seems to like it.
01:10:46 Shit.
01:10:57 I heard about the New Yorker.
01:10:59 Why didn't you tell me
01:11:01 I... I...
01:11:02 - I need to read it.
01:11:05 Now that I sold a poem to
01:11:06 I'm suddenly worthy of your attention?
01:11:09 What's wrong with a father wanting
01:11:16 What are those doing here?
01:11:19 - He left those here last night.
01:11:21 No. I'm not working for him.
01:11:23 He left his sweater, too. Hold on.
01:11:30 I thought that Chuck
01:11:32 He doesn't have a girlfriend.
01:11:34 He stays here a few nights every week
01:11:42 You have no idea
01:11:52 How's your head? Douchebag.
01:12:02 So dinner will be ready at 8:00,
01:12:07 Those jeans look really great.
01:12:09 And they're really snug
01:12:15 Don't say things like that to me.
01:12:18 - Why, I'm just...
01:12:29 So what is the lotus?
01:12:34 For Tennyson, it's not just a drug, is it?
01:12:38 It symbolizes a desire
01:12:40 But what does it inspire in them?
01:12:42 They're tired
01:12:45 The lotus is about the
01:12:48 What your CliffsNotes
01:12:51 the eating of the lotus
01:12:54 I didn't use CliffsNotes.
01:12:55 You used SparkNotes.
01:12:58 So where did their singing lead them?
01:13:00 Singing lets them imagine
01:13:07 Since they can't go home,
01:13:10 as the place where all the suffering is.
01:13:16 The song becomes the doleful music
01:13:18 of the miserable world
01:13:22 they just sit around listening to it,
01:13:47 Hey, Lawrence, got a minute?
01:13:52 "In all my years of schooling,
01:13:53 "I've never encountered a professor
01:13:56 "as Professor Wetherhold was
01:13:57 "back when I took his Victorian novel
01:14:00 "He pushed us hard,
01:14:02 "and helped us become strong,
01:14:04 "skills I've brought
01:14:06 "Sincerely, Janet Hartigan, M.D."
01:14:18 Professor Wetherhold,
01:14:22 Why do you want to be
01:14:27 I've been thinking
01:14:29 As head of the department,
01:14:32 the systematic subjugation
01:14:35 Julia, I haven't even vaguely
01:14:41 You know what? None of you like me,
01:14:45 I would make a lousy
01:14:48 What this department needs is
01:14:52 who can make small talk.
01:14:54 And that's...
01:14:56 I can't do that.
01:15:04 Sorry I wasted your time.
01:15:11 I'll just stick to teaching for now.
01:15:20 So where's your girlfriend?
01:15:24 - Bye.
01:15:26 Can we talk?
01:15:31 Everyone in my life is going crazy.
01:15:34 You're the one that's crazy.
01:15:37 And socially retarded.
01:15:39 You're the middle-aged man who was
01:15:47 You know,
01:15:51 A scary clone, no friends,
01:15:56 too scared to be anything else.
01:16:02 And you constantly
01:16:04 I do not take her for granted.
01:16:09 Did you know she was
01:16:12 Early acceptance, last November.
01:16:16 - Why didn't she tell me?
01:16:22 Why don't you ask?
01:16:26 You drove the hot doctor
01:16:29 She left me.
01:16:32 She can't handle my success.
01:16:36 You have the IQ of a dumb-ass ant.
01:16:44 But you know what?
01:16:46 Vanessa's going away in the fall.
01:16:48 It'll just be the two of us,
01:16:53 Middle-aged, can't get along
01:17:12 What are you doing here?
01:17:13 If you've come to tell me
01:17:16 then you can just forget it.
01:17:17 I don't care. I don't care if it's free.
01:17:19 I'm not going to
01:17:22 He sold a poem to the New Yorker.
01:17:24 Even cretins win the lottery sometimes.
01:17:34 I won't be head of the department.
01:17:39 - I pulled myself out of the search.
01:17:43 - What are you trying to do to me?
01:17:46 My book,
01:17:48 that dumbed-down,
01:17:51 will pay for Stanford.
01:17:55 Satisfied?
01:18:04 What's going on between
01:18:09 Nothing.
01:18:12 It's just miscommunication.
01:18:17 A simple case of middle-aged loser
01:18:20 his much younger,
01:18:28 I don't think you're very happy,
01:18:32 Well, you're not happy,
01:18:36 and you're my role model.
01:18:54 You know what?
01:18:57 You hate me. I get it.
01:19:07 I don't hate you.
01:19:11 You know what? I don't really get it.
01:19:14 I don't get that you spend the first
01:19:17 which you do,
01:19:19 and then make up some fake girlfriend
01:19:23 and completely ditch me.
01:19:26 Well, that's not entirely
01:19:37 Not really, I guess.
01:19:45 You know, when I moved in,
01:19:51 I'm sorry that you misunderstood that.
01:20:00 But I'll let you get back to that.
01:20:03 What are you gonna do?
01:20:08 - Go in my room. Do 1,000 pushups.
01:20:15 What are you going to do
01:20:17 Just, you know, sell phone cards?
01:20:20 Right.
01:20:22 It is pretty good money.
01:20:24 - Sure.
01:20:30 You know, I like my life.
01:20:37 Yeah, we're like friends, I guess, right?
01:20:45 Yeah, we're friends.
01:21:07 Can you make me
01:21:09 Order pizza, with the works.
01:21:29 Wake up! I need to run
01:21:36 Wake up.
01:21:39 If only we loved us like before
01:21:44 There would be more
01:21:48 If only the scars would disappear
01:21:51 Verbal surgery
01:21:53 Hello.
01:21:56 If only we could have seen the smoke
01:22:00 Simple warning
01:22:06 Hold on, I want... I want that.
01:22:12 May I have a tax receipt?
01:22:15 There you go.
01:22:16 Love come back save the day
01:22:29 Thanks, bro. It was starting to get
01:22:43 You sat on the right side and
01:22:49 Pull over, up here.
01:22:50 Now, remember, four words.
01:22:56 That's five words.
01:22:57 This is no time to count words,
01:23:04 Hey!
01:23:08 Don't forget, "I'm sorry! I love you!"
01:23:16 What'd he say?
01:23:18 I love you, too, man!
01:23:31 - May I sit down?
01:23:35 - How are you?
01:23:38 - I'm...
01:23:40 Thank you for this.
01:23:47 I didn't write it.
01:23:49 You should check with Vanessa,
01:23:50 though the signature's not even close.
01:24:01 This is humiliating. I'll see you.
01:24:03 Wait. Wait, wait. Wait.
01:24:09 Listen,
01:24:13 I haven't had any grand epiphany
01:24:16 or made any sweeping changes
01:24:19 over the past few weeks.
01:24:23 I know I'm a miserable asshole, but
01:24:28 I do have some hope for myself.
01:24:35 Lawrence, I'm pregnant.
01:24:38 And according to my calculations,
01:24:41 this pregnancy is the result
01:24:52 - Well, why didn't you tell me?
01:24:58 You were not exactly
01:25:07 Why would you have a baby with me?
01:25:10 Because you don't know
01:25:17 Message received.
01:25:31 You're intelligent, right?
01:25:34 And you're not unattractive.
01:25:43 I mean, it's not like
01:25:50 Though you do have some deficits.
01:25:56 But you came here today.
01:26:02 We can figure this out.
01:26:07 We're smart people.
01:26:16 I'm sorry. I love you.
01:26:26 It's not up to you. It's not up to me.
01:26:36 - Sorry.
01:26:42 It's just that you have options.
01:26:47 Well, you have options, too, Vanessa.
01:26:51 You can either continue
01:26:54 or you can just stop being
01:26:56 and accept the way things are.
01:26:59 Allow yourself to live.
01:27:05 You sound like a stupid
01:27:11 You're not listening to me.
01:27:15 You're not.
01:27:27 I am not cleaning any dirty diapers.
01:27:53 Morning.
01:27:55 Matthew Arnold, one of the writers
01:27:58 wrote that, "Culture is the pursuit
01:28:03 "the best which has been
01:28:09 Now, my name is
01:28:11 You may call me Professor
01:28:15 But you may not call me, "Hey, you,"
01:28:20 because none of these
01:28:22 could possibly be the prelude
01:28:26 So let's get to know one another.
01:28:29 Joseph Anderson.
01:28:32 Joseph, where you from?
01:28:53 So you got to go,
01:28:57 All that you know,
01:29:01 What's left to do, but wish you the best
01:29:06 In your pursuit of happiness
01:29:10 You say it's not me, it's just you
01:29:14 But I'm the only one in the room
01:29:19 Asking myself why you have left
01:29:23 In your pursuit of happiness
01:29:28 In your pursuit of happiness
01:29:42 All the papers read
01:29:46 Known accomplice to the sad
01:29:50 I hope you find what you're looking for
01:29:54 Your piece of mind,
01:29:59 Somewhere over the rainbow's end
01:30:03 In your pursuit of happiness
01:30:08 Starting over again, more or less
01:30:12 In my pursuit of happiness
01:30:39
01:30:49 Help me find a way back to our nest
01:30:55 And dreams
01:31:27 If this were a book
01:31:32 I once knew a man
01:31:39 So predictable
01:31:43 I'm at a loss for words
01:31:51 I stitch this bow
01:32:03 The one that touches me
01:32:12 And I wear that gold ribbon till
01:32:18 It sits over my heart
01:32:25 And dream