|
Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me
|
| 00:01:03 |
Houston, this is Condor. |
| 00:01:05 |
We are doing an E.V.A. |
| 00:01:08 |
We are about to present |
| 00:01:12 |
What the-- |
| 00:01:14 |
Oh, my gentle Jesus. |
| 00:01:18 |
Houston...we have a problem. |
| 00:01:22 |
Launch procedure commence. |
| 00:01:43 |
Oh, God! |
| 00:01:46 |
And Im spent. |
| 00:01:50 |
Do you smoke after sex? |
| 00:01:52 |
I don't know, baby. |
| 00:01:57 |
Oh, Austin! |
| 00:02:00 |
What shall we do now? |
| 00:02:02 |
Well, Ive got an idea. |
| 00:02:04 |
-Again? |
| 00:02:06 |
We're only up to chapter eleven |
| 00:02:09 |
Dont you want to try |
| 00:02:11 |
or the praying donkey... |
| 00:02:12 |
or the Chinese shag swing? |
| 00:02:14 |
Im going to get us |
| 00:02:18 |
Im going to get us |
| 00:02:25 |
Are you OK? |
| 00:02:27 |
Ive never felt better, Austin. |
| 00:02:29 |
All right, then. |
| 00:02:31 |
Im just gonna go watch a movie. |
| 00:02:37 |
"In Like Flint." |
| 00:02:49 |
Vanessa. |
| 00:02:50 |
What's going on? |
| 00:02:54 |
I don't know what you mean, |
| 00:02:56 |
Im the same Vane-- |
| 00:02:59 |
You must be-- |
| 00:03:01 |
Tu imaginacion |
| 00:03:04 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:03:11 |
You're a fembot! |
| 00:03:13 |
No shit, Sherlock! |
| 00:03:16 |
Machine gun jubblies? |
| 00:03:18 |
How did I miss those, baby? |
| 00:03:22 |
Perhaps next time |
| 00:03:25 |
Right. Oh, my God! |
| 00:03:44 |
Here's your wedding present, |
| 00:03:46 |
A kamikaze bride from me-- |
| 00:03:49 |
Dr. Evil. |
| 00:04:02 |
Oh, thank God. |
| 00:04:10 |
I can't believe Vanessa... |
| 00:04:13 |
my bride... |
| 00:04:15 |
my one true love... |
| 00:04:17 |
the woman who taught me |
| 00:04:21 |
was a fembot all along. |
| 00:04:26 |
Wait a tick. |
| 00:04:27 |
That means Im single again! |
| 00:04:29 |
Oh, behave! |
| 00:04:32 |
Yeah! |
| 00:04:34 |
Yeah, baby, yeah! |
| 00:04:36 |
Halt! |
| 00:04:58 |
Yeah, baby, yeah! |
| 00:05:21 |
Look! |
| 00:05:26 |
How are you? |
| 00:05:27 |
Good to see you. |
| 00:05:34 |
What's that? |
| 00:05:37 |
Yes. Yeah, that. |
| 00:05:39 |
What's goin' on here? |
| 00:05:41 |
Good to see you guys. |
| 00:05:42 |
Good to see you. |
| 00:05:47 |
Rabbis, how are you? |
| 00:05:48 |
Nice meat. |
| 00:05:51 |
Photo op. |
| 00:05:53 |
L'chaim! |
| 00:06:15 |
Yeah, baby. |
| 00:07:14 |
Keep a close eye |
| 00:07:16 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:07:22 |
Jerry! Jerry! |
| 00:07:24 |
Thank you. |
| 00:07:25 |
Thank you very much. |
| 00:07:27 |
If you just joined us, |
| 00:07:28 |
My father is evil, and he |
| 00:07:33 |
OK, let's meet Scott Evil. |
| 00:07:41 |
Hi, Scott. |
| 00:07:44 |
Tell us about your father. |
| 00:07:46 |
My dad is the head of |
| 00:07:50 |
with aspirations |
| 00:07:53 |
Pretty serious stuff. |
| 00:07:56 |
He's, like, |
| 00:07:59 |
orbiting the earth or something. |
| 00:08:00 |
That's what you think. |
| 00:08:02 |
We have a surprise for you. |
| 00:08:04 |
Let's bring out |
| 00:08:09 |
What? |
| 00:08:13 |
General, |
| 00:08:18 |
What is it, Sergeant? |
| 00:08:19 |
Hello, Scott. |
| 00:08:21 |
Daddy's back. |
| 00:08:23 |
How could you do this to me, |
| 00:08:27 |
Well, throw me |
| 00:08:29 |
Why'd you run out on me? |
| 00:08:32 |
Because you're not quite |
| 00:08:36 |
Well, it's true. |
| 00:08:38 |
You're quasi-evil. |
| 00:08:40 |
You're semi-evil. |
| 00:08:42 |
You're the margarine of evil. |
| 00:08:44 |
You're the Diet Coke of evil. |
| 00:08:47 |
Just one calorie. |
| 00:08:50 |
What are you, |
| 00:08:51 |
-Shut up, you-- |
| 00:08:54 |
Ill kick your...punk. |
| 00:08:56 |
Bring it on, skanky-- |
| 00:08:57 |
All right, come on. |
| 00:08:59 |
No one talks to my son |
| 00:09:01 |
You mother-- |
| 00:09:12 |
You were born in your mother's-- |
| 00:09:17 |
Im OK. All right. |
| 00:09:19 |
You were born in your mother's-- |
| 00:09:22 |
Ill kill you both! |
| 00:09:24 |
There you go! |
| 00:09:26 |
Great! |
| 00:09:27 |
I got your hood! |
| 00:09:29 |
Settle down. |
| 00:09:31 |
Its OK. |
| 00:09:33 |
Its only a television show. |
| 00:09:35 |
Im all right. Im easy. |
| 00:09:36 |
-Everything OK? |
| 00:09:37 |
Get this jerk out of here. |
| 00:09:38 |
Ill give you--piece of-- |
| 00:09:45 |
He's biting me! |
| 00:09:47 |
The...is biting me! |
| 00:09:51 |
The world is mine, you-- |
| 00:10:08 |
You've got mail. |
| 00:10:10 |
Hello, Basil. |
| 00:10:11 |
Hello, Austin. |
| 00:10:14 |
It turns out |
| 00:10:17 |
Yes. We knew all along, sadly. |
| 00:10:20 |
Anyway, I have |
| 00:10:24 |
You're scheduled for |
| 00:10:26 |
and one of the models |
| 00:10:29 |
Groovy, baby! |
| 00:10:30 |
Shaguar, ho! |
| 00:10:41 |
Show me to the models, baby. |
| 00:10:42 |
Let the magic begin. |
| 00:10:45 |
Who have we got today? |
| 00:10:47 |
OK, great. |
| 00:10:48 |
Austin Powers, |
| 00:10:50 |
Im Rebecca Romijn. |
| 00:10:51 |
I don't believe |
| 00:10:53 |
Well, of course |
| 00:10:55 |
the pleasure, Rebecca. |
| 00:10:57 |
We just met, baby. Yeah. |
| 00:11:01 |
Who are you, baby? |
| 00:11:04 |
Ivana. |
| 00:11:06 |
Ivana Humpalot. |
| 00:11:09 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:11:12 |
And I vanna toilet |
| 00:11:14 |
but it's just not |
| 00:11:18 |
You know... |
| 00:11:20 |
OK, everyone, let's get started. |
| 00:11:21 |
Yes, beautiful. Feeling it! |
| 00:11:23 |
Let's get some smiles. |
| 00:11:25 |
That's it. Yes! |
| 00:11:27 |
Let's let the inside out. |
| 00:11:28 |
OK, you're an animal! |
| 00:11:30 |
Yes, there we go. |
| 00:11:31 |
You're a tiger! |
| 00:11:32 |
You're Tony the Tiger! |
| 00:11:33 |
You're grrreat! |
| 00:11:35 |
Very good. Loving it. |
| 00:11:37 |
Now you're a lemur. |
| 00:11:38 |
Running as a pack. |
| 00:11:40 |
We go left. |
| 00:11:41 |
We go right. |
| 00:11:43 |
There's a predator |
| 00:11:44 |
What's going on? |
| 00:11:46 |
Burrow! |
| 00:11:47 |
That's right, youre a lemur. |
| 00:11:49 |
You don't have sharp teeth |
| 00:11:51 |
Make an interconnected series |
| 00:11:54 |
And look. |
| 00:11:55 |
Im not even shooting you. |
| 00:11:57 |
And Im spent. |
| 00:11:59 |
Right, thats a wrap, everyone. |
| 00:12:01 |
Miss Humpalot. |
| 00:12:02 |
Da, darling? |
| 00:12:04 |
Shall we? |
| 00:12:05 |
Give me moment, hmm? |
| 00:12:18 |
Dr. Evil, several years ago... |
| 00:12:20 |
we invested in a small |
| 00:12:25 |
Today Starbucks offers |
| 00:12:29 |
at affordable prices. |
| 00:12:31 |
De-lish! |
| 00:12:36 |
If we shift our resources... |
| 00:12:38 |
away from evil empires |
| 00:12:42 |
we can increase |
| 00:12:44 |
Number Two, |
| 00:12:48 |
I demand a little respect. |
| 00:12:50 |
Dr. Evil, |
| 00:12:53 |
Silence! |
| 00:12:55 |
I will not tolerate |
| 00:12:58 |
Frau Farbissina, |
| 00:13:01 |
Sehr gut, Herr Doktor. |
| 00:13:03 |
How are things? |
| 00:13:04 |
I have come to embrace the love |
| 00:13:08 |
To my right is my lover. |
| 00:13:10 |
We met at the LPGA Tour. |
| 00:13:12 |
Her name is Unibrau. |
| 00:13:16 |
Right on. |
| 00:13:18 |
Welcome, Unibrau. |
| 00:13:23 |
What? |
| 00:13:25 |
A little milk...nose...mustache. |
| 00:13:29 |
I know. |
| 00:13:31 |
Meant to. |
| 00:13:33 |
That's how we drink it |
| 00:13:35 |
Called a Belgian dip. |
| 00:13:38 |
While you were frozen... |
| 00:13:40 |
we began a program to clone you. |
| 00:13:43 |
Cool. |
| 00:13:44 |
Send in the clone! |
| 00:13:47 |
He is exactly like you |
| 00:13:53 |
Except one eighth your size. |
| 00:13:57 |
Breathtaking. |
| 00:13:59 |
I shall call him... |
| 00:14:02 |
Mini-Me. |
| 00:14:08 |
Your stock is rising, |
| 00:14:14 |
Come, Mr. Bigglesworth. |
| 00:14:17 |
Mini-Me, are you hungry? |
| 00:14:20 |
Something to eat? |
| 00:14:21 |
Not even a Hot Pocket? |
| 00:14:24 |
An Eggo? |
| 00:14:25 |
No,we don't gnaw on our kitty. |
| 00:14:29 |
Leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth |
| 00:14:32 |
Just love him and stroke him. |
| 00:14:36 |
As you know... |
| 00:14:38 |
every diabolical scheme |
| 00:14:40 |
has been thwarted |
| 00:14:43 |
And why is that, |
| 00:14:45 |
'Cause you never kill him |
| 00:14:47 |
and you're a big dope. |
| 00:14:56 |
Down, Mini-Me. |
| 00:14:59 |
Austin Powers always defeats me |
| 00:15:03 |
Mojo? |
| 00:15:06 |
The libido. The life force. |
| 00:15:08 |
The essence. The right stuff. |
| 00:15:11 |
What the French call |
| 00:15:13 |
I don't know what. |
| 00:15:15 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 00:15:17 |
Ive developed a device |
| 00:15:20 |
which I call a time machine. |
| 00:15:23 |
Using this time machine... |
| 00:15:26 |
Im going back to the Sixties |
| 00:15:30 |
If you have a time machine... |
| 00:15:32 |
why not just go back |
| 00:15:34 |
when he's sitting |
| 00:15:36 |
How about no, Scott? |
| 00:15:39 |
OK? |
| 00:15:40 |
Why not use your knowledge |
| 00:15:43 |
to play the stock market? |
| 00:15:45 |
We could make trillions. |
| 00:15:46 |
Why make trillions |
| 00:15:50 |
billions? |
| 00:15:54 |
A trillion is more |
| 00:15:56 |
All right, zip it. |
| 00:15:58 |
-You can't even-- |
| 00:16:00 |
Zi-i-i-p. |
| 00:16:01 |
Look, all Im-- |
| 00:16:03 |
Ladies and gentlemen |
| 00:16:04 |
Number Two, |
| 00:16:06 |
-Look, Im Zippi Longstocking. |
| 00:16:09 |
When a problem comes along |
| 00:16:10 |
You must zip it |
| 00:16:12 |
Zip it good. |
| 00:16:13 |
Frau, would you please-- |
| 00:16:18 |
Subtitle: Zip it. |
| 00:16:20 |
-Im just trying to-- |
| 00:16:21 |
Would you like to have |
| 00:16:23 |
-l want you--Stop-- |
| 00:16:26 |
Listen--All--You know-- |
| 00:16:29 |
You're like a child-- |
| 00:16:31 |
Talk in--If you-- |
| 00:16:34 |
Zip it. |
| 00:16:47 |
As you know... |
| 00:16:49 |
Austin Powers |
| 00:16:52 |
Therefore, |
| 00:16:56 |
two years after he was frozen. |
| 00:16:58 |
He'll be helpless. |
| 00:17:00 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 00:17:01 |
Im about to travel |
| 00:17:02 |
I bid you adieu. |
| 00:17:11 |
Im OK. |
| 00:17:14 |
Not turned on, I suppose. |
| 00:17:17 |
Do you think you could... |
| 00:17:19 |
Yeah, thanks. |
| 00:17:21 |
Come, Mini-Me! |
| 00:17:27 |
Don't be scared, Mini-Me. |
| 00:17:41 |
Welcome to 1969. |
| 00:17:44 |
Thank you, Number Two. |
| 00:17:46 |
You look so healthy |
| 00:17:49 |
Well, thank you. |
| 00:17:50 |
Herr Doktor. |
| 00:17:51 |
And Frau, you look so... |
| 00:17:57 |
Right. |
| 00:18:00 |
I received your memo |
| 00:18:03 |
Your new lair is up and running. |
| 00:18:05 |
Is it a hollowed-out volcano |
| 00:18:09 |
Of course. |
| 00:18:11 |
Good. |
| 00:18:13 |
Then it's all going |
| 00:18:43 |
Yeah, baby, yeah! |
| 00:18:50 |
When did you get the Clapper? |
| 00:18:52 |
November 1964. |
| 00:18:55 |
Dutch East Indies. Shore leave. |
| 00:18:57 |
Do you know how we keep warm |
| 00:19:01 |
I can guess, baby. |
| 00:19:03 |
We play chess. |
| 00:19:04 |
I guessed wrong. |
| 00:19:06 |
It takes a keen intellect |
| 00:19:10 |
I assume you know how to play. |
| 00:19:16 |
Of course, baby. |
| 00:19:37 |
What to do, what to do. |
| 00:20:09 |
Let me ask you a question. |
| 00:20:11 |
And be honest. |
| 00:20:13 |
Do I make you horny, baby? |
| 00:20:15 |
Do l? |
| 00:20:17 |
Do I make you randy? |
| 00:20:22 |
No more games. |
| 00:20:25 |
Dr. Evil sent me here |
| 00:20:27 |
but I find you so... |
| 00:20:29 |
sexy and... |
| 00:20:33 |
Just make love to me. |
| 00:20:35 |
Now, Austin Powerovich. |
| 00:20:37 |
Hurry! |
| 00:20:42 |
You're hairy like animal! |
| 00:20:45 |
Grr, baby! Very grr! |
| 00:20:48 |
Make love to me, monkey man. |
| 00:20:52 |
Dr. Evil, I don't understand... |
| 00:20:54 |
how we can hope to steal |
| 00:20:57 |
We've tried this before. |
| 00:21:00 |
The security around Powers |
| 00:21:03 |
But this time |
| 00:21:05 |
inside the Ministry of Defense. |
| 00:21:07 |
Really? |
| 00:21:08 |
Yes, really. |
| 00:21:13 |
He's stealing Austin Powers' |
| 00:21:16 |
Really? |
| 00:21:23 |
He's a disgruntled |
| 00:21:25 |
known for his lethal temper |
| 00:21:28 |
He weighs a metric ton. |
| 00:21:30 |
His name...Fat Bastard. |
| 00:21:35 |
We've had reports there's a spy |
| 00:21:39 |
The contents of this room |
| 00:21:42 |
Be on special alert. |
| 00:21:44 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:21:46 |
And try to lose some weight, |
| 00:21:54 |
Mr. English colonel |
| 00:21:57 |
Im a hard case, he says. |
| 00:22:00 |
Well, listen up, sonny Jim... |
| 00:22:02 |
I ate a baby! |
| 00:22:05 |
Oh, aye, baby. |
| 00:22:09 |
Baby: Its what's for dinner. |
| 00:22:36 |
Ive got your mojo now, |
| 00:22:41 |
What's wrong? |
| 00:22:43 |
Crikey! |
| 00:22:45 |
Ive lost my mojo. |
| 00:22:51 |
Austin, |
| 00:22:53 |
that you've lost your mojo... |
| 00:22:55 |
and it couldn't come |
| 00:22:58 |
We have evidence that Dr. Evil |
| 00:23:01 |
and has traveled back |
| 00:23:04 |
Luckily, we, too... |
| 00:23:06 |
have developed |
| 00:23:08 |
to transport you |
| 00:23:11 |
This is where you |
| 00:23:15 |
Wait a tick. |
| 00:23:17 |
Basil, if I travel back to 1969 |
| 00:23:21 |
presumably, I could go visit |
| 00:23:23 |
But if Im still frozen |
| 00:23:25 |
how could I have been |
| 00:23:27 |
in the Nineties |
| 00:23:28 |
Oh, no, Ive gone cross-eyed. |
| 00:23:30 |
I suggest you don't worry |
| 00:23:33 |
and just enjoy yourself. |
| 00:23:34 |
That goes for you all, too. |
| 00:23:38 |
This is smashing, Basil. |
| 00:23:40 |
I go back to the Sixties, |
| 00:23:43 |
defeat Dr. Evil, |
| 00:23:46 |
Swinging Sixties, |
| 00:23:50 |
Move! Move! |
| 00:23:56 |
Sorry. |
| 00:23:58 |
I bet that's expensive. |
| 00:24:04 |
Sorry. |
| 00:24:05 |
Easy! |
| 00:24:07 |
Stop it now, Austin! |
| 00:24:08 |
Here we go. |
| 00:24:11 |
Yeah, baby, yeah! |
| 00:24:14 |
Godspeed, Austin Powers. |
| 00:24:34 |
Im home! |
| 00:24:51 |
Im back in the Sixties, |
| 00:25:14 |
Get your hands |
| 00:25:36 |
Who are you today, baby? |
| 00:25:38 |
My name is Robin Swallows. |
| 00:25:41 |
Swallows. |
| 00:25:44 |
Maiden name's Spitz. |
| 00:25:47 |
Which is it, baby, |
| 00:26:36 |
Those are skintight. |
| 00:26:38 |
How do you get |
| 00:26:40 |
You can start |
| 00:26:53 |
I want! I want! |
| 00:27:13 |
Better play it cool. |
| 00:27:16 |
And just who |
| 00:27:23 |
Tell me, Mr. Powers... |
| 00:27:25 |
do you swing? |
| 00:27:27 |
Are you kidding, baby? |
| 00:27:29 |
I put the Grr! in swinger, |
| 00:27:33 |
Then why don't you come right... |
| 00:27:35 |
over here. |
| 00:27:38 |
I can do that. |
| 00:27:53 |
Prepare to die, Powers! |
| 00:27:57 |
Use the machine gun! |
| 00:28:08 |
Say good-bye, Powers! |
| 00:28:12 |
Use the bazooka! |
| 00:28:26 |
The fall will kill us both, |
| 00:28:38 |
You can't win, Powers. |
| 00:28:43 |
Why won't you die? |
| 00:28:51 |
Care for a ride? |
| 00:28:56 |
Go! |
| 00:29:03 |
Austin Powers, I presume. |
| 00:29:05 |
Powers by name, |
| 00:29:10 |
Felicity Shagwell, CIA. |
| 00:29:12 |
Shagwell by name... |
| 00:29:13 |
shag-very-well by reputation. |
| 00:29:16 |
Oh, behave! |
| 00:29:19 |
Not if I can help it. |
| 00:29:33 |
You know what's remarkable |
| 00:29:36 |
looks in no way |
| 00:29:55 |
Crikey! |
| 00:29:56 |
We've got company! Looks like |
| 00:30:21 |
Steady now. |
| 00:30:22 |
Hands up! |
| 00:30:24 |
Do you remember me, |
| 00:30:28 |
I don't recall your name |
| 00:30:31 |
fez is familiar. |
| 00:30:37 |
My name is Mustafa. |
| 00:30:40 |
And Im the man |
| 00:30:43 |
Daktari! |
| 00:30:55 |
Who sent you? |
| 00:30:57 |
You'll have to kill me. |
| 00:30:58 |
Who sent you? |
| 00:30:59 |
Kiss my ass, Powers. |
| 00:31:01 |
Who sent you? |
| 00:31:03 |
Dr. Evil. |
| 00:31:06 |
-That was easy. |
| 00:31:08 |
Why did you tell us? |
| 00:31:10 |
I can't stand to be asked |
| 00:31:12 |
It just irritates me. |
| 00:31:14 |
Where is Dr. Evil hiding? |
| 00:31:16 |
Why would he tell me? |
| 00:31:17 |
Im just one of his |
| 00:31:19 |
Where is Dr. Evil hiding? |
| 00:31:21 |
You'll have to torture me. |
| 00:31:23 |
-Where is Dr. Evil hiding? |
| 00:31:26 |
He's hiding |
| 00:31:29 |
Where's Dr. Evil's |
| 00:31:33 |
I spit at the question. |
| 00:31:35 |
Do I really have to ask you |
| 00:31:38 |
Go to hell, Powers! |
| 00:31:39 |
Fine. Where is Dr. Evil's |
| 00:31:46 |
I will take it |
| 00:31:49 |
You have to answer. |
| 00:31:53 |
The second question was... |
| 00:31:55 |
Do I really have to ask you |
| 00:31:57 |
That would be the first question |
| 00:32:00 |
and wouldn't count in |
| 00:32:03 |
He's right. |
| 00:32:04 |
However, Im just trying to |
| 00:32:06 |
I don't need any consistency |
| 00:32:10 |
No. You're preaching |
| 00:32:13 |
If Im preaching |
| 00:32:14 |
then why are you |
| 00:32:16 |
to the three-question form? |
| 00:32:18 |
You're not even |
| 00:32:19 |
Now you're just being rude, |
| 00:32:21 |
You're not listening, man. |
| 00:32:26 |
Oh, crikey! |
| 00:32:32 |
Well, Austin, I think this time |
| 00:32:35 |
Oh, no, baby. |
| 00:32:37 |
Ive beaten Dr. Evil before, |
| 00:32:40 |
I was talking about me. |
| 00:32:50 |
Hello up there! |
| 00:32:51 |
I seem to have fallen |
| 00:32:54 |
Im still alive, |
| 00:32:56 |
I think my legs are broken. |
| 00:33:01 |
Yes, they are broken. |
| 00:33:02 |
Perhaps you could |
| 00:33:04 |
or some antibacterial cream. |
| 00:33:06 |
Im in an extraordinarily |
| 00:33:10 |
The bone has |
| 00:33:12 |
I fear it might be gangrenous. |
| 00:33:14 |
The wound is beginning to smell |
| 00:33:17 |
which is not good. |
| 00:33:18 |
Please? |
| 00:33:20 |
No one? |
| 00:33:21 |
Sorry. |
| 00:33:22 |
Ill try the other leg. |
| 00:33:29 |
Two of my assassins are dead. |
| 00:33:31 |
I will not tolerate failure. |
| 00:33:34 |
Im the man who will |
| 00:33:36 |
of this evil organization. |
| 00:33:38 |
What the hell was that? |
| 00:33:40 |
Volcanic eruption! |
| 00:33:51 |
May I present to you my spy |
| 00:33:55 |
Fat Bastard. |
| 00:33:58 |
First things first! |
| 00:34:00 |
Where's your shitter? |
| 00:34:02 |
Ive got a turtle head |
| 00:34:06 |
Charming. |
| 00:34:08 |
Im not kidding. |
| 00:34:10 |
I got a crap on deck |
| 00:34:13 |
Its squidgey! |
| 00:34:16 |
Christ, Im getting |
| 00:34:21 |
Right. |
| 00:34:23 |
Fat Bastard, |
| 00:34:27 |
Where's my money? |
| 00:34:29 |
All right, give him his money. |
| 00:34:33 |
Jesus Christ, he's tiny! |
| 00:34:37 |
Ive had bigger chunks of corn |
| 00:34:42 |
Wait a minute. |
| 00:34:44 |
He kinda looks like a baby. |
| 00:34:47 |
Come here! Im gonna eat you! |
| 00:34:50 |
Im bigger than you. |
| 00:34:51 |
Im higher on the food chain. |
| 00:34:53 |
Get in my belly! |
| 00:34:55 |
Come on! |
| 00:34:58 |
You're lucky, wee man! |
| 00:35:01 |
Can I have a hug? |
| 00:35:06 |
Let me make you a deal, |
| 00:35:09 |
You get the mojo, |
| 00:35:11 |
and Ill get your baby. |
| 00:35:15 |
Right. |
| 00:35:18 |
I want my baby back, baby back |
| 00:35:20 |
Baby back, baby back, |
| 00:35:21 |
I want my baby back, baby back |
| 00:35:23 |
Baby back, baby back, |
| 00:35:25 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:35:27 |
Chili |
| 00:35:29 |
Baby back ribs |
| 00:35:31 |
Dr. Evil, what are we |
| 00:35:34 |
Austin Powers |
| 00:35:38 |
I have his mojo. |
| 00:36:15 |
All right, everyone, |
| 00:36:19 |
Private time. |
| 00:36:52 |
Dr. Evil, I don't want this |
| 00:36:55 |
Don't worry, mama. |
| 00:36:57 |
Things won't get weird. |
| 00:37:08 |
One for me... |
| 00:37:12 |
and one for my homies. |
| 00:37:16 |
Herr Doktor. |
| 00:37:47 |
So what happened here? |
| 00:37:49 |
Apparently a rogue agent |
| 00:37:51 |
infiltrated the unit... |
| 00:37:52 |
assigned to guard |
| 00:37:54 |
He used some sort of nerve gas. |
| 00:37:56 |
These men don't |
| 00:37:57 |
Captain, why don't you... |
| 00:37:59 |
cross-check |
| 00:38:00 |
with the mainframe at Langley? |
| 00:38:02 |
Yes, ma'am. |
| 00:38:03 |
Can I borrow that, please? |
| 00:38:07 |
Look at me. |
| 00:38:10 |
You're a Popsicle, yes. |
| 00:38:14 |
And Im spent. |
| 00:38:16 |
Let's go, baby, yeah! |
| 00:38:23 |
Hey there. How are you? |
| 00:38:36 |
Come on, Felicity. |
| 00:39:07 |
Yeah, babe. |
| 00:39:10 |
Shall we sit down? |
| 00:39:13 |
This is great. |
| 00:39:14 |
Groovy! |
| 00:39:17 |
So, Austin, |
| 00:39:21 |
Well, |
| 00:39:23 |
entire meals |
| 00:39:26 |
and the Earth is ruled |
| 00:39:30 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:39:31 |
Had you for a second. |
| 00:39:34 |
You can have me for even longer, |
| 00:39:37 |
You're one groovy baby... |
| 00:39:42 |
baby. |
| 00:39:45 |
Too many babies. |
| 00:39:48 |
Dont you dare move. |
| 00:39:52 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:39:55 |
and Mr. Elvis Costello. |
| 00:40:02 |
What do you get |
| 00:40:05 |
A guy with a pin |
| 00:40:08 |
Would you care to dance? |
| 00:40:09 |
I'd love to. |
| 00:40:11 |
For all your trouble |
| 00:40:13 |
Ill |
| 00:40:15 |
Never fall in love again |
| 00:40:20 |
Ill never fall in love again |
| 00:40:25 |
Don't tell me |
| 00:40:30 |
'Cause Ive been there |
| 00:40:34 |
Out of the those chains, |
| 00:40:38 |
That is why |
| 00:40:41 |
What do you get |
| 00:40:44 |
You only get lies |
| 00:40:49 |
So for at least until tomorrow |
| 00:40:52 |
Ill |
| 00:40:54 |
Never fall in love again |
| 00:40:59 |
Ill |
| 00:41:01 |
Never fall in love |
| 00:41:04 |
Again |
| 00:41:05 |
You're quite good on your feet. |
| 00:41:08 |
Im even better off my feet. |
| 00:41:23 |
Oh, behave, baby. |
| 00:41:31 |
-Hi. |
| 00:41:35 |
How are things? |
| 00:41:36 |
Good, Herr Doktor. And you? |
| 00:41:38 |
Great. |
| 00:41:41 |
Just taking a break? |
| 00:41:44 |
Try the Hot Pockets. |
| 00:41:50 |
It got weird, didn't it? |
| 00:41:51 |
-Ja. |
| 00:41:54 |
You haven't called. |
| 00:41:56 |
We talked about this. |
| 00:41:57 |
We promised each other |
| 00:42:00 |
I can't let my feelings |
| 00:42:02 |
with my taking over the world, |
| 00:42:05 |
You know, |
| 00:42:10 |
Yes, that's true. |
| 00:42:15 |
Dr. Evil, Im late. |
| 00:42:17 |
No, you got here right on time. |
| 00:42:19 |
No, I mean Im late. |
| 00:42:30 |
Dad. |
| 00:42:34 |
Hey there, sport. |
| 00:42:36 |
What are you doing here? |
| 00:42:38 |
I was just thinking that maybe |
| 00:42:42 |
After all, you are my father. |
| 00:42:44 |
Scott, you had your chance, OK? |
| 00:42:48 |
I already had someone |
| 00:42:51 |
He's evil, he wants |
| 00:42:53 |
and he fits easily |
| 00:42:57 |
Him? |
| 00:42:58 |
Look at him, he's crazy. |
| 00:43:00 |
He's like a vicious |
| 00:43:04 |
He'll kill me |
| 00:43:06 |
Probably. |
| 00:43:09 |
I love you. |
| 00:43:20 |
I am a sexy bitch. Yes. |
| 00:43:23 |
Felicity, |
| 00:43:27 |
What do you think of |
| 00:43:29 |
Its amazing, Austin. |
| 00:43:35 |
Wait a tick. |
| 00:43:42 |
That's how my mojo was stolen. |
| 00:43:47 |
She's a professional agent. |
| 00:43:49 |
She's not interested |
| 00:43:52 |
Please, God. |
| 00:43:54 |
Spectacles, testicles, |
| 00:43:56 |
Austin, Im waiting. |
| 00:44:04 |
How about one of |
| 00:44:08 |
You mean a sensual massage? |
| 00:44:12 |
Right, then. |
| 00:44:14 |
OK, here we go. Yes. |
| 00:44:23 |
Wait a minute, |
| 00:44:27 |
That's better. |
| 00:44:29 |
Crikey. |
| 00:44:38 |
How does that feel, baby? |
| 00:44:40 |
Lower. |
| 00:44:42 |
How does that feel, baby? |
| 00:44:46 |
What? |
| 00:44:47 |
You don't have to be cute |
| 00:44:48 |
We're way past that. |
| 00:44:50 |
We are? |
| 00:44:52 |
What do you think? |
| 00:44:54 |
Listen, Felicity... |
| 00:44:58 |
Im sorry. |
| 00:45:00 |
I can't do this. |
| 00:45:04 |
I have to go. |
| 00:45:09 |
Is it me? |
| 00:45:10 |
I can't explain. |
| 00:45:25 |
Hello, Agent Shagwell. |
| 00:45:26 |
Where's Austin? |
| 00:45:28 |
I must've said something wrong, |
| 00:45:31 |
Listen, I don't want you |
| 00:45:36 |
Its not meant to be. |
| 00:45:38 |
I don't get too close |
| 00:45:40 |
My interest in this case |
| 00:45:42 |
Good. |
| 00:45:43 |
Then you won't mind tracking |
| 00:45:46 |
No problem. |
| 00:45:47 |
We need you to plant |
| 00:45:49 |
by any means necessary. |
| 00:45:52 |
No problem. |
| 00:45:53 |
Keep up the good work. |
| 00:45:55 |
Remember, |
| 00:46:15 |
Look at yourself. |
| 00:46:17 |
You used to be so virile. |
| 00:46:20 |
You were a swinger, man. |
| 00:46:23 |
And now you're nothing. |
| 00:46:27 |
But at least |
| 00:46:31 |
Well, surprise, surprise, huh! |
| 00:46:33 |
Look at that meal. |
| 00:46:36 |
Im dead sexy. |
| 00:46:41 |
Oh, look, Im like a singer. |
| 00:46:43 |
Oh, sexy man, sexy man |
| 00:46:47 |
Eating like a sexy man can |
| 00:46:50 |
By the way, |
| 00:46:53 |
Ive got more. |
| 00:46:54 |
No, thanks. |
| 00:46:56 |
What have we got here? |
| 00:46:57 |
Done with that. |
| 00:47:09 |
Remember, |
| 00:47:17 |
Frisky, are we? |
| 00:47:20 |
Give it up! |
| 00:47:22 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 00:47:23 |
we're about to begin phase two |
| 00:47:27 |
or is it phase-- |
| 00:47:30 |
Anyways, this is the phase... |
| 00:47:31 |
in which we put |
| 00:47:36 |
As you know, the moon rotates |
| 00:47:46 |
When the moon reaches... |
| 00:47:47 |
its appropriate |
| 00:47:50 |
it will destroy |
| 00:47:53 |
You see, Ive turned the moon... |
| 00:47:55 |
into what I like to call |
| 00:48:01 |
-What? |
| 00:48:04 |
What did you call me? |
| 00:48:05 |
Nothing. Rip-off! |
| 00:48:09 |
Bless you. |
| 00:48:10 |
Anyways, the key to this plan |
| 00:48:13 |
It was invented by the noted |
| 00:48:17 |
Therefore, we shall call it |
| 00:48:21 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:48:24 |
What now? |
| 00:48:25 |
The Alan Parsons Project is a |
| 00:48:29 |
Why don't you just call it |
| 00:48:33 |
What should we-- |
| 00:48:35 |
Im sure Operation Bananarama |
| 00:48:37 |
What are you saying? |
| 00:48:38 |
-If you wanted-- |
| 00:48:40 |
Trying to be hip-- |
| 00:48:41 |
WWW.shh.com.org. |
| 00:48:44 |
-You're so-- |
| 00:48:46 |
If we could put aside |
| 00:48:49 |
I think we could get down |
| 00:48:52 |
-Really? |
| 00:48:54 |
I don't like that insolent tone. |
| 00:48:56 |
-l meant nothing by it. |
| 00:48:59 |
No, not at all. |
| 00:49:00 |
You want to be Daddy, |
| 00:49:02 |
Number Two, you want to wear |
| 00:49:05 |
You gonna cry? |
| 00:49:07 |
You gonna cry? |
| 00:49:10 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:49:11 |
Are you gonna squirt some? |
| 00:49:14 |
See, you were gonna cry. |
| 00:49:17 |
Yeah, thought so. |
| 00:49:42 |
About what happened last night-- |
| 00:49:44 |
You don't have to explain. |
| 00:49:47 |
You don't understand. |
| 00:49:51 |
Ive lost my mojo. |
| 00:49:53 |
Oh, so that's why you-- |
| 00:49:59 |
I thought you didn't like me. |
| 00:50:01 |
Oh, no, baby. |
| 00:50:04 |
I just didn't want |
| 00:50:06 |
and I thought you'd never |
| 00:50:09 |
Its not you. |
| 00:50:11 |
You're fab, switched on, |
| 00:50:16 |
That is so great. |
| 00:50:18 |
There's something |
| 00:50:20 |
Last night, I planted |
| 00:50:23 |
Smashing, baby. |
| 00:50:24 |
Then we can track down |
| 00:50:26 |
get my mojo, |
| 00:50:27 |
hop on the good foot |
| 00:50:31 |
But there's more. |
| 00:50:32 |
In order to get close |
| 00:50:34 |
Hello, hello. |
| 00:50:37 |
He's at Paddington Station. |
| 00:50:38 |
Let's go! |
| 00:50:43 |
-We're close, baby. |
| 00:50:45 |
Straight--no, no, left. |
| 00:50:50 |
We've got him. |
| 00:50:51 |
Private, bring up the ram. |
| 00:50:58 |
Go, go, go! |
| 00:50:59 |
Where is he? |
| 00:51:02 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:51:04 |
Fat Bastard left a floater! |
| 00:51:06 |
In the name |
| 00:51:08 |
that is the most |
| 00:51:11 |
Somebody flush it down! |
| 00:51:13 |
No, nobody touch anything. |
| 00:51:14 |
We have to get the sample |
| 00:51:19 |
Im gonna give. |
| 00:51:29 |
Austin, there you are. |
| 00:51:30 |
Has the sample been analyzed? |
| 00:51:31 |
Cor, baby. |
| 00:51:37 |
But do we really have |
| 00:51:39 |
I mean, it's so boring. |
| 00:51:42 |
I don't believe in science. |
| 00:51:43 |
When it comes to the spy game, |
| 00:51:53 |
-Hello, everybody. |
| 00:51:55 |
The results are in. |
| 00:51:57 |
We've discovered trace elements |
| 00:52:00 |
found only on one island, |
| 00:52:05 |
What does it all mean, Basil? |
| 00:52:08 |
It means that this is |
| 00:52:12 |
Smashing, Basil. |
| 00:52:15 |
Cor! |
| 00:52:22 |
It is shit, Austin. |
| 00:52:24 |
Oh, good, then it's not just me. |
| 00:52:31 |
Its a bit nutty. |
| 00:52:43 |
Excuse me, Dr. Evil. |
| 00:52:44 |
I have to speak to you |
| 00:52:47 |
He's not fitting in? |
| 00:52:49 |
Is he giving off too much |
| 00:52:52 |
No, it's just that he bites. |
| 00:52:57 |
He's a biter. |
| 00:53:02 |
What's wrong, Mini-Me? |
| 00:53:04 |
Something you want to tell us? |
| 00:53:07 |
Teething. |
| 00:53:10 |
Get me the president |
| 00:53:14 |
Oh, he's on. |
| 00:53:16 |
What do you want, Dr. Evil? |
| 00:53:18 |
Mr. President, |
| 00:53:20 |
I will destroy Washington D.C. |
| 00:53:26 |
What the--? |
| 00:53:28 |
Mini-Me, stop humping the laser. |
| 00:53:32 |
OK, honest to God... |
| 00:53:34 |
why don't you and the giant |
| 00:53:39 |
Mr. President, after |
| 00:53:43 |
I will destroy another major |
| 00:53:47 |
That is, unless, of course, |
| 00:53:50 |
one hundred billion dollars. |
| 00:53:59 |
Dr. Evil, this is 1969. |
| 00:54:01 |
That amount of money |
| 00:54:05 |
That's like saying, l want |
| 00:54:11 |
Come on, Mr. President, |
| 00:54:15 |
Show you what money? |
| 00:54:16 |
Show me the money, |
| 00:54:19 |
You had me at hello. |
| 00:54:22 |
Psst! Its 1969. |
| 00:54:25 |
Jerry Maguire won't come out |
| 00:54:29 |
Nobody knows what |
| 00:54:31 |
Scott, Daddy's working, OK? |
| 00:54:35 |
And when you're |
| 00:54:37 |
try and use |
| 00:54:39 |
Thank you. |
| 00:54:42 |
Mr. President, |
| 00:54:44 |
the awesome lethality |
| 00:54:48 |
Fire the laser! |
| 00:54:55 |
Damage report! Damage report! |
| 00:54:57 |
Its OK. |
| 00:55:02 |
Actually, that was footage |
| 00:55:05 |
but the real laser |
| 00:55:07 |
Yeah, scary. |
| 00:55:10 |
Now, Dr. Evil-- |
| 00:55:12 |
Talk to the hand, 'cause |
| 00:55:15 |
What hand? Talk to your hand? |
| 00:55:18 |
You ain't all that |
| 00:55:21 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:55:22 |
Don't go there, girlfriend. |
| 00:55:26 |
Whose girlfriend? |
| 00:55:28 |
Don't mess with me, |
| 00:55:30 |
I had to pop a cop... |
| 00:55:31 |
'cause he wasn't giving me |
| 00:55:34 |
No? I heard that somewhere. |
| 00:55:37 |
You're an idiot. |
| 00:55:39 |
Mr. President, I think |
| 00:55:45 |
Dr. Evil, what are our plans |
| 00:55:49 |
Austin Powers? |
| 00:55:53 |
Or the mongoose to my snake. |
| 00:55:58 |
I don't know animals. |
| 00:56:00 |
But I do know this-- |
| 00:56:02 |
This time it's personal. |
| 00:56:05 |
Kill him. |
| 00:56:12 |
There's Dr. Evil's island. |
| 00:56:47 |
Let's set up camp. |
| 00:56:48 |
Be careful with that bag! |
| 00:56:50 |
There's explosives in it. |
| 00:56:53 |
This could be dangerous. |
| 00:57:04 |
What if God was one of us? |
| 00:57:09 |
Just a slob like one of us |
| 00:57:26 |
Well done, very good. |
| 00:57:27 |
Dr. Evil, that was fantastic. |
| 00:57:30 |
Thank you, Number Two. |
| 00:57:32 |
I wrote that, yeah. |
| 00:57:33 |
Dad, he put this in my bed. |
| 00:57:36 |
Who? |
| 00:57:37 |
Your stupid mini-you. |
| 00:57:39 |
He put road kill in my sheets! |
| 00:57:42 |
What--Mini-Me, |
| 00:57:45 |
You hear me, |
| 00:57:49 |
I can't stay mad at you. |
| 00:57:51 |
Look at that punum. |
| 00:57:54 |
Dr. Evil's headquarters |
| 00:57:58 |
Let me look. |
| 00:58:00 |
Damn it. How do we get in? |
| 00:58:02 |
Hello, Mummy. |
| 00:58:05 |
I want some Mars Bars. |
| 00:58:08 |
Don't smack my bottom, Mummy. |
| 00:58:11 |
Sorry, love. |
| 00:58:12 |
I got stuck |
| 00:58:15 |
Let's look at the map. |
| 00:58:20 |
Austin, what's our plan? |
| 00:58:21 |
According to this map... |
| 00:58:23 |
the entire island is crawling |
| 00:58:26 |
I want to make sure |
| 00:58:29 |
but I can't find them. |
| 00:58:30 |
Look in the bottom. |
| 00:58:32 |
OK, Ill dig a little deeper. |
| 00:58:34 |
Wow, this bag is really full. |
| 00:58:38 |
Just keep digging, darling. |
| 00:58:39 |
Ill just feel around for them. |
| 00:58:44 |
Good lord, Austin. |
| 00:58:46 |
What do you keep in here? |
| 00:58:48 |
Anything that catches |
| 00:58:51 |
Give it a good tug. |
| 00:58:54 |
Do we really need this? |
| 00:58:56 |
Ill ask you not to open that |
| 00:58:59 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:59:01 |
Oops, it went off. |
| 00:59:03 |
Yes, it does that |
| 00:59:06 |
Eww. Yuck. |
| 00:59:07 |
Yeah, that's nasty. |
| 00:59:09 |
Yeah, sorry about that. |
| 00:59:12 |
Smelly. |
| 00:59:13 |
These people make me sick. |
| 00:59:16 |
Can you snap me a beer? |
| 00:59:22 |
What is it? |
| 00:59:23 |
Its a gerbil. |
| 00:59:24 |
How did that get in your bag? |
| 00:59:27 |
I don't know. |
| 00:59:32 |
Dr. Evil, we have a problem. |
| 00:59:35 |
Austin Powers is on the island. |
| 00:59:37 |
Bring him to me...alive. |
| 00:59:41 |
You. |
| 00:59:43 |
Hit it! |
| 00:59:45 |
This is |
| 00:59:54 |
Just the two of us |
| 01:00:01 |
Just the two of us |
| 01:00:03 |
From the moment I heard |
| 01:00:06 |
I knew that I'd be safe |
| 01:00:08 |
An evil doctor shouldn't |
| 01:00:11 |
My hurt and my pain |
| 01:00:13 |
Id hoped Scott |
| 01:00:16 |
Run the business of the family |
| 01:00:18 |
Head an evil empire |
| 01:00:20 |
Give him my love |
| 01:00:23 |
Scott would think |
| 01:00:25 |
Return the love I have, |
| 01:00:28 |
Be evil, |
| 01:00:30 |
Change my life with |
| 01:00:32 |
But Scott rejected me, |
| 01:00:35 |
Life is cruel, |
| 01:00:37 |
Even so, a God there must be |
| 01:00:40 |
Mini-Me, you complete me |
| 01:00:42 |
Just the two of us |
| 01:00:44 |
We can make it if we try |
| 01:00:47 |
Just the two of us |
| 01:00:50 |
Just the two of us |
| 01:00:52 |
Just the two of us |
| 01:00:54 |
Building castles in the sky |
| 01:00:57 |
Just the two of us |
| 01:00:59 |
You and l |
| 01:01:12 |
You've got this packed |
| 01:01:14 |
Are you OK? |
| 01:01:16 |
Yeah, I just got a bit |
| 01:01:20 |
Just keep packing it in. |
| 01:01:22 |
God. |
| 01:01:23 |
I found the explosives. |
| 01:01:25 |
Help me check them. |
| 01:01:26 |
You're surrounded! |
| 01:01:29 |
Hands up! |
| 01:01:31 |
Move out! |
| 01:01:36 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:01:39 |
we're going to place |
| 01:01:42 |
From my Death Star... |
| 01:01:44 |
I will destroy |
| 01:01:47 |
Get off of me. |
| 01:01:48 |
Ah, Mr. Powers, Ms. Shagwell... |
| 01:01:52 |
welcome to my |
| 01:01:54 |
This is my associate |
| 01:01:57 |
Felicity, I think you two |
| 01:02:03 |
Unfortunately. |
| 01:02:04 |
Is that all the thanks I get |
| 01:02:08 |
Im dead sexy. |
| 01:02:11 |
You were crap! |
| 01:02:15 |
In your dreams. |
| 01:02:21 |
Felicity would never |
| 01:02:25 |
Right? |
| 01:02:27 |
I did what I had to do. |
| 01:02:28 |
Im a secret agent. |
| 01:02:30 |
What? |
| 01:02:38 |
All right, that's enough, |
| 01:02:40 |
As much as I like |
| 01:02:43 |
and I do-- |
| 01:02:44 |
the thought of you naked |
| 01:02:47 |
You can't stop me now, |
| 01:02:50 |
I have your mojo... |
| 01:02:52 |
and Im taking it with me |
| 01:02:55 |
Put them in a jail cell. |
| 01:02:58 |
My mojo! Ill get you, Dr. Evil! |
| 01:03:02 |
Look at me, Im shaking |
| 01:03:04 |
I want my mojo! |
| 01:03:06 |
Great plan, Einstein. |
| 01:03:10 |
You're gonna put him in a cell |
| 01:03:12 |
and they'll escape! |
| 01:03:13 |
God, you do this every time! |
| 01:03:16 |
You know, Scott... |
| 01:03:19 |
Ive been a frickin' evil doctor |
| 01:03:25 |
Cut me some frickin' slack. |
| 01:03:28 |
You forget, Scott, |
| 01:03:32 |
We're surrounded |
| 01:03:37 |
What are you drawing? |
| 01:03:40 |
Its just a good-bye card, |
| 01:03:44 |
Its sweet. |
| 01:03:54 |
Hey, get him. Get the baby! |
| 01:03:55 |
Back off. |
| 01:03:56 |
Simmer down. Simmer down. |
| 01:04:00 |
He's my posse. |
| 01:04:03 |
You take special care of him. |
| 01:04:05 |
He's my special boy. |
| 01:04:08 |
Attention, prepare for launch. |
| 01:04:12 |
Repeat, all technicians |
| 01:04:17 |
Gentlemen, |
| 01:04:21 |
Initiate pre-launch sequence. |
| 01:04:25 |
Main rocket engines, ignition. |
| 01:04:27 |
Frau... |
| 01:04:28 |
begin the countdown. |
| 01:04:30 |
Five...four... |
| 01:04:32 |
three...two-- |
| 01:04:33 |
Frau! |
| 01:04:38 |
Thirty! |
| 01:04:39 |
twenty-nine...twenty-eight... |
| 01:04:41 |
twenty-seven... |
| 01:04:43 |
twenty-six...twenty-five... |
| 01:04:45 |
twenty-four...twenty-three... |
| 01:04:49 |
twenty-two...twenty-one... |
| 01:04:52 |
twenty...nineteen... |
| 01:04:54 |
eighteen.... |
| 01:04:56 |
seventeen...sixteen... |
| 01:05:00 |
fifteen...fourteen...thirteen-- |
| 01:05:02 |
You know what? |
| 01:05:05 |
just say go. Better. |
| 01:05:12 |
Go! |
| 01:05:42 |
Colonel, you better |
| 01:05:44 |
What is it, son? |
| 01:05:47 |
I don't know, sir. |
| 01:05:49 |
But it looks like |
| 01:05:50 |
-Dick! |
| 01:05:52 |
Take a look out of starboard. |
| 01:05:53 |
Oh, my God, |
| 01:05:56 |
-Pecker! |
| 01:05:58 |
Wait, that's not a woodpecker. |
| 01:06:00 |
It looks like someone's-- |
| 01:06:01 |
Privates! |
| 01:06:02 |
We have reports of |
| 01:06:04 |
It is a long, smooth shaft, |
| 01:06:08 |
Two balls! What is that? |
| 01:06:11 |
That looks just |
| 01:06:13 |
Wang! Pay attention. |
| 01:06:14 |
I was distracted by |
| 01:06:17 |
-Willie... |
| 01:06:19 |
What's that? |
| 01:06:20 |
Well, it looks |
| 01:06:22 |
-Johnson?! |
| 01:06:24 |
Call British Intelligence |
| 01:06:43 |
What do we do? |
| 01:06:44 |
Why don't you just shag |
| 01:06:47 |
This is no time to get jealous. |
| 01:06:49 |
How could you do it? |
| 01:06:51 |
I was just doing my job. |
| 01:06:52 |
No, I mean literally, |
| 01:06:54 |
The man's so fat... |
| 01:06:55 |
the sheer mechanics of it |
| 01:06:57 |
Don't lay your hang-ups on me, |
| 01:07:01 |
Ouch, baby. |
| 01:07:03 |
Very ouch. |
| 01:07:06 |
Look, Austin, |
| 01:07:08 |
Im sorry. |
| 01:07:11 |
I just did what I thought you |
| 01:07:15 |
You're the reason |
| 01:07:18 |
I thought I wanted to be you, |
| 01:07:24 |
I want to be with you. |
| 01:07:26 |
You do? |
| 01:07:30 |
Hang on, baby. |
| 01:07:31 |
Alleyoop! |
| 01:07:34 |
We should talk about this later. |
| 01:07:36 |
First we need to get past |
| 01:07:38 |
Right, here's the plan. |
| 01:07:39 |
What if I pretend to be ill |
| 01:07:42 |
The guard, drawn by my cries |
| 01:07:45 |
Meanwhile, you dig a pit... |
| 01:07:47 |
line it with makeshift |
| 01:07:48 |
made from sharpened |
| 01:07:50 |
The guard falls in, |
| 01:07:52 |
What do you think? |
| 01:07:53 |
That might work, |
| 01:07:57 |
What do you think of these? |
| 01:07:59 |
Mommy. |
| 01:08:07 |
What a...burn? |
| 01:08:11 |
That sort of thing |
| 01:08:17 |
I think he was... |
| 01:08:18 |
hot...for...you. |
| 01:08:22 |
-That's enough. |
| 01:08:29 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:08:34 |
You've all been chosen to be |
| 01:08:39 |
Which is divided into |
| 01:08:41 |
Moon Unit Alpha... |
| 01:08:43 |
and Moon Unit Zappa. |
| 01:08:45 |
In exactly six hours... |
| 01:08:47 |
the moon will move |
| 01:08:50 |
bringing Washington D.C. |
| 01:08:54 |
laser. |
| 01:08:56 |
Begin laser... |
| 01:08:59 |
ignition sequence. |
| 01:09:01 |
Begin laser ignition! |
| 01:09:04 |
Attention, Moon Unit Zappa |
| 01:09:08 |
Initiation sequence in progress. |
| 01:09:11 |
OK, all right. |
| 01:09:16 |
All I asked for was a frickin' |
| 01:09:23 |
Getting a little afraid. |
| 01:09:25 |
I need an old priest |
| 01:09:28 |
The power of Christ compels you. |
| 01:09:31 |
The power of Christ compels you. |
| 01:09:37 |
Sick as a dog now. |
| 01:09:44 |
Gonna vomit. |
| 01:09:53 |
We need to hitch a ride |
| 01:09:57 |
Apollo Eleven is good to go. |
| 01:10:00 |
Crew to all stations. |
| 01:10:03 |
We will have liftoff |
| 01:10:06 |
four...three...two. |
| 01:10:11 |
We have liftoff. |
| 01:10:12 |
Apollo Eleven |
| 01:10:14 |
and is heading |
| 01:10:25 |
Arm the laser. |
| 01:10:28 |
Arming the laser! |
| 01:10:30 |
Attention, |
| 01:10:33 |
Battle stations. |
| 01:10:34 |
Laser on! |
| 01:10:35 |
All crew at battle stations. |
| 01:10:38 |
Get me the president. |
| 01:10:40 |
You're gonna like this part, |
| 01:10:43 |
This is the part where |
| 01:10:46 |
I know we do it every time, |
| 01:10:56 |
Where are you? |
| 01:10:58 |
Can someone put a frickin' bell |
| 01:11:03 |
Great! |
| 01:11:04 |
Somebody get the stick. |
| 01:11:08 |
Just grab on to the hook, |
| 01:11:10 |
You complete me. |
| 01:11:12 |
I love you. |
| 01:11:14 |
Hang in there, Mini-Me. |
| 01:11:17 |
If anything |
| 01:11:18 |
I don't know what I would do. |
| 01:11:20 |
Id probably move on, |
| 01:11:23 |
But there'd be |
| 01:11:25 |
when I would just be |
| 01:11:28 |
We have your money, Dr. Evil, |
| 01:11:30 |
Papa has to do some work, OK? |
| 01:11:33 |
Well, you have exactly |
| 01:11:36 |
Ciao. |
| 01:11:40 |
Jiminy jumpin' Jesus, |
| 01:11:41 |
I can't believe |
| 01:11:44 |
I got nukes up the ying-yang. |
| 01:11:46 |
Just let me launch one, |
| 01:11:48 |
Are you suggesting |
| 01:11:51 |
Would you miss it? |
| 01:11:54 |
Would you miss it? |
| 01:11:59 |
Mission control, |
| 01:12:03 |
Airlock, open. |
| 01:12:10 |
Re-pressurize. |
| 01:12:12 |
Let's find Dr. Evil. |
| 01:12:13 |
Enjoy your stay on the moon. |
| 01:12:19 |
There he is. |
| 01:12:23 |
Ill cover your rear. |
| 01:12:24 |
No, you go ahead. |
| 01:12:26 |
This time it's personal. |
| 01:13:31 |
No more. |
| 01:13:35 |
Peace? |
| 01:13:37 |
You brought my glasses. |
| 01:13:40 |
Bless your little heart. |
| 01:13:43 |
Well, that's not right. |
| 01:13:46 |
Don't--That's just-- |
| 01:13:50 |
Judo flip! |
| 01:13:58 |
Poor little bugger. |
| 01:14:01 |
He's so small. |
| 01:14:03 |
He's like a dog or something. |
| 01:14:06 |
Poor little bugger. |
| 01:14:14 |
Get off! |
| 01:14:33 |
Get out of my suit! |
| 01:14:35 |
It tickles. It tickles. |
| 01:14:43 |
Gotcha! |
| 01:15:10 |
Poor little bugger. |
| 01:15:12 |
I salute you. |
| 01:15:24 |
All right, slap-head. |
| 01:15:25 |
Turn around. |
| 01:15:27 |
Where's my mojo? |
| 01:15:29 |
Well, it looks like you |
| 01:15:32 |
save the world... |
| 01:15:34 |
or save your girlfriend. |
| 01:15:39 |
Don't worry about me, Austin. |
| 01:15:41 |
You've got to save the world. |
| 01:15:44 |
Kill him! |
| 01:15:48 |
Fire the laser. |
| 01:15:49 |
Target locking. |
| 01:15:51 |
God! |
| 01:15:52 |
Laser set to full vitality. |
| 01:15:55 |
Judo kick! |
| 01:16:02 |
You may have won the battle, |
| 01:16:05 |
but you lost the war. |
| 01:16:09 |
Wake up, Felicity. Wake up! |
| 01:16:12 |
Escape pod ninety-five. |
| 01:16:18 |
I love you, Felicity. |
| 01:16:20 |
I love you. |
| 01:16:21 |
Dr. Evil! Ill kill him! |
| 01:16:29 |
Gotcha! |
| 01:16:37 |
You shot me, you a-hole. |
| 01:16:40 |
And now Im going to kill you. |
| 01:16:45 |
Before you do that... |
| 01:16:48 |
know this... |
| 01:16:58 |
I am your father. |
| 01:17:02 |
Really? |
| 01:17:05 |
No, not really. |
| 01:17:07 |
I can't back that up. |
| 01:17:08 |
Right. Idiot. Yes. |
| 01:17:11 |
But isn't it interesting, |
| 01:17:14 |
that you would rather kill me... |
| 01:17:16 |
than save |
| 01:17:19 |
What do you mean? |
| 01:17:21 |
Remember, there's a time portal |
| 01:17:25 |
You could go back and save her. |
| 01:17:28 |
Ill do that. |
| 01:17:44 |
Good work! |
| 01:18:01 |
Well, it looks like you |
| 01:18:03 |
save the world |
| 01:18:09 |
Don't worry about me, Austin. |
| 01:18:11 |
You gotta save the world. |
| 01:18:14 |
I choose love, baby. |
| 01:18:16 |
Wait a tick. Who are you? |
| 01:18:19 |
Im you, ten minutes from now. |
| 01:18:21 |
Damn it! You are handsome. |
| 01:18:25 |
I was just thinking the same. |
| 01:18:28 |
We are sexy. |
| 01:18:30 |
We are sexy bitches. Yeah! |
| 01:18:33 |
All right. |
| 01:18:36 |
Kill them both! |
| 01:18:43 |
Fire the laser. |
| 01:18:45 |
Listen, past Austin... |
| 01:18:47 |
can you save the world |
| 01:18:49 |
Sure, Austin-from- |
| 01:18:51 |
Lock in target. |
| 01:18:54 |
Laser set to full vitality. |
| 01:19:02 |
Come on. Are you all right? |
| 01:19:06 |
You all right? |
| 01:19:07 |
You OK? |
| 01:19:10 |
Say, what's the policy |
| 01:19:15 |
You are adorable! |
| 01:19:19 |
Looking for this, Mr. Powers? |
| 01:19:22 |
My mojo. |
| 01:19:25 |
Self-destruct in |
| 01:19:38 |
Watch out! |
| 01:19:49 |
See you in hell, Powers. |
| 01:19:55 |
Hey, Austin-from- |
| 01:19:57 |
This place is gonna blow. |
| 01:20:06 |
Thirty seconds and counting. |
| 01:20:10 |
-Let's go. |
| 01:20:12 |
We have to go now. |
| 01:20:13 |
My mojo. Im useless without it. |
| 01:20:15 |
You've had it all along. |
| 01:20:17 |
What do you mean? |
| 01:20:18 |
You defeated Dr. Evil, |
| 01:20:20 |
and believe me, |
| 01:20:27 |
All right then, maybe later. |
| 01:20:28 |
Yeah, come on. |
| 01:20:32 |
Go! |
| 01:20:35 |
Ill set the controls for 1967. |
| 01:20:38 |
Felicity, why don't you come |
| 01:20:41 |
I don't know. |
| 01:20:43 |
I want to see what happens |
| 01:20:46 |
The Seventies and the Eighties? |
| 01:20:48 |
You're not missing anything. |
| 01:20:50 |
There's a gas shortage |
| 01:20:53 |
That's about it. |
| 01:20:57 |
Let's go. |
| 01:21:20 |
I love you, Austin Powers. |
| 01:21:22 |
And I love you, |
| 01:21:25 |
Wherever we go... |
| 01:21:27 |
there we are. |
| 01:21:31 |
Special delivery. |
| 01:21:36 |
Surprise, surprise. |
| 01:21:39 |
Listen, missy, |
| 01:21:43 |
'Cause once you've had fat, |
| 01:21:48 |
You shut your mouth, |
| 01:21:52 |
who is fat. |
| 01:21:54 |
Yeah, that's very good. |
| 01:21:55 |
Before you kill us, |
| 01:21:58 |
Are you happy? |
| 01:21:59 |
What kind of stupid ass |
| 01:22:02 |
Im rich, and Im dead sexy. |
| 01:22:13 |
You didn't answer my question. |
| 01:22:15 |
Are you happy? |
| 01:22:16 |
Of course Im not happy. |
| 01:22:18 |
Look at me, Im a big fat slob. |
| 01:22:21 |
Ive got bigger titties |
| 01:22:24 |
Ive got more chins |
| 01:22:27 |
Ive not seen my willie |
| 01:22:30 |
which is long enough |
| 01:22:36 |
I can't stop eating. |
| 01:22:39 |
I eat because Im unhappy. |
| 01:22:45 |
Im unhappy because I eat. |
| 01:22:48 |
Its a vicious cycle. |
| 01:22:50 |
If you'll excuse me... |
| 01:22:52 |
there's someone I have to get |
| 01:22:57 |
Myself. |
| 01:23:03 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:23:05 |
Sorry, I farted. |
| 01:23:10 |
Its a long road ahead. |
| 01:23:14 |
Who am I kidding? |
| 01:23:16 |
Im going to kill you anyway. |
| 01:23:17 |
Judo chop! |
| 01:23:20 |
Right in the mommy-daddy button! |
| 01:23:24 |
That's for calling me crap, |
| 01:23:36 |
Listen, baby, I don't care |
| 01:23:38 |
you don't give a man |
| 01:23:41 |
Its just not cricket. |
| 01:23:43 |
Do you think Ill be happy |
| 01:23:46 |
Well, I know the Nineties |
| 01:23:48 |
but as far as Im concerned... |
| 01:23:51 |
Ive brought the best part |
| 01:23:55 |
You. |
| 01:23:57 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:23:58 |
Where are you going? |
| 01:24:44 |
Did we get Dr. Evil? |
| 01:24:46 |
No. He got away in that rocket |
| 01:24:49 |
Penis. |
| 01:24:50 |
The male reproductive organ. |
| 01:24:53 |
Also known as tally whacker, |
| 01:24:56 |
Wiener? |
| 01:24:57 |
Any of you kids |
| 01:24:59 |
Dad, what's that? |
| 01:25:01 |
I don't know, son, |
| 01:25:04 |
Nuts! Hot, salty nuts! |
| 01:25:07 |
Who wants some? |
| 01:25:09 |
That looks just like |
| 01:25:11 |
One-eyed monster. |
| 01:25:13 |
Step right up and see |
| 01:25:17 |
Hey, what's that? |
| 01:25:19 |
It looks like a big... |
| 01:25:20 |
Woody! Woody Harrelson? |
| 01:25:23 |
Can I have your autograph? |
| 01:25:24 |
Sure, no problem. |
| 01:25:25 |
Oh, my Lord. Look at that thing. |
| 01:25:28 |
Its so big. |
| 01:25:29 |
Ive seen bigger. That's... |
| 01:25:31 |
Just a little prick. |
| 01:25:33 |
Its a flu shot. |
| 01:25:35 |
You've been |
| 01:25:37 |
I don't want you to get sick. |
| 01:25:39 |
Its one thing to attack me. |
| 01:25:41 |
Its quite another |
| 01:25:44 |
Im gonna get you, |
| 01:25:47 |
Im gonna get you. |
| 01:26:06 |
Thank you. Welcome back. |
| 01:26:09 |
to a segment |
| 01:26:10 |
on Fathers who are trying |
| 01:26:13 |
Let's begin with Scott Evil. |
| 01:26:18 |
What's going on with your dad? |
| 01:26:21 |
Well, my dad tried to take |
| 01:26:22 |
with a giant laser on the moon. |
| 01:26:25 |
I know. |
| 01:26:26 |
We have a surprise for you. |
| 01:26:28 |
What, my dad? |
| 01:26:29 |
No, it's not your father. |
| 01:26:32 |
Come on out. |
| 01:26:40 |
Mom? |
| 01:26:41 |
Scott, you are my love child |
| 01:26:46 |
I thought |
| 01:26:48 |
Lies. All lies! |
| 01:26:52 |
I love you, Mom. |
| 01:26:55 |
I love you, too, son. |
| 01:27:02 |
Thank you. |
| 01:27:04 |
You know, |
| 01:27:07 |
Perhaps it's that |
| 01:27:10 |
You can look around |
| 01:27:12 |
but what you're really trying |
| 01:27:16 |
Take care of yourself |
| 01:27:24 |
I think Im gonna like it |
| 01:27:27 |
I never knew |
| 01:27:30 |
Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| 01:27:36 |
That's good. |
| 01:27:42 |
How could you? |
| 01:27:44 |
I thought that-- |
| 01:27:45 |
Past Austin? |
| 01:27:48 |
Technically, |
| 01:27:51 |
Felicity, I can't blame you. |
| 01:27:54 |
The man is handsome, baby! |
| 01:27:57 |
We're just plain handsome, man. |
| 01:27:59 |
Am I wrong, |
| 01:28:02 |
Very randy! |
| 01:28:04 |
Well, one thing's for sure-- |
| 01:28:06 |
Ive got my mojo back. |
| 01:28:11 |
Its definitely back. |
| 01:28:13 |
Hello. You all right? |
| 01:28:14 |
Me spuds are boiling. |
| 01:28:20 |
Come on, darling, |
| 01:28:23 |
and do the bad thing. |
| 01:28:24 |
Paging Dr. Freud. |
| 01:30:42 |
Hello up there. |
| 01:30:44 |
Is the movie over? |
| 01:30:46 |
Im still down here... |
| 01:30:48 |
and Im still in |
| 01:30:49 |
Maybe someone in the lobby |
| 01:30:52 |
Oh, the pain |
| 01:30:54 |
I've fashioned |
| 01:30:57 |
Here goes nothing. |
