Some Like It Hot

en
00:00:19 (1920s jazz)
00:01:55 (police siren in distance)
00:02:04 (siren gets louder)
00:02:09 (siren)
00:03:31 (car horn)
00:03:46 (organ plays inside)
00:04:31 All right, Charlie.
00:04:33 - That's the joint?
00:04:35 - Who runs it?
00:04:37 - Refresh my memory.
00:04:39 - What's the password?
00:04:43 - Here's your admission card.
00:04:46 If you want a ringside table,
00:04:49 We're all set. When's the kickoff?
00:04:51 I'd better blow.
00:04:55 Goodbye, Charlie.
00:04:58 Give me five minutes,
00:05:01 You betcha.
00:05:18 Good evening, sir. I'm Mr Mozarella.
00:05:21 - What can I do for you?
00:05:24 I haven't seen you
00:05:26 - No, I've been on the wagon.
00:05:29 Where is the wake?
00:05:31 Show the gentleman into the chapel.
00:05:35 Yes, Mr Mozarella. This way, sir.
00:05:37 (solemn organ music)
00:05:45 (jazz band plays
00:05:55 Well, if you gotta go,
00:05:58 Follow me, please.
00:06:13 - What'll it be, sir?
00:06:15 - Sorry. We only serve coffee.
00:06:17 Scotch coffee, Canadian coffee,
00:06:20 Scotch. Make it a demitasse,
00:06:23 Wait a minute. Haven't you got
00:06:27 - How about that one over there?
00:06:30 ...for members of the
00:06:42 Oops!
00:06:50 Hey! Hey, I want another
00:06:53 I want another cup of coffee!
00:07:07 Better bring a check
00:07:10 Who's gonna raid a funeral?
00:07:12 Some people got no respect for the dead.
00:07:37 Say, Joe. Tonight's the night, isn't it?
00:07:40 - I'll say!
00:07:43 - Why?
00:07:46 After four months out of work, you wanna
00:07:51 - Just a filling. Doesn't have to be gold.
00:07:55 How can you be so selfish? We owe rent.
00:07:59 The Chinese laundry is suing us.
00:08:01 We borrowed money
00:08:04 - You're right!
00:08:06 Tomorrow we'll pay everyone
00:08:09 No. Tomorrow we go to the dog track
00:08:13 - You'd bet my money on a dog?!
00:08:16 Max the waiter knows the electrician
00:08:19 - What are you givin' me with a rabbit?!
00:08:23 - Suppose he loses!
00:08:27 - Suppose it doesn't!
00:08:31 Suppose you got hit by a truck.
00:08:35 Suppose Mary Pickford
00:08:39 Suppose the Dodgers leave Brooklyn!
00:08:41 - Joe...
00:08:44 Well, don't look now,
00:08:51 (rest of band plays on)
00:09:00 ...four...
00:09:02 ...three...
00:09:04 ...two...
00:09:05 ...one...
00:09:08 (police whistle)
00:09:10 (gasps)
00:09:12 (screaming)
00:09:16 (whistle)
00:09:19 All right, everybody! This is a raid!
00:09:22 I'm a federal agent!
00:09:24 You're all under arrest!
00:09:26 (drunken man) I want
00:09:35 (whistle)
00:09:41 All right, Spats. The services are over.
00:09:44 - Let's go.
00:09:46 A country club we run
00:09:48 - I'm puttin' you up for membership.
00:09:52 I'll get the prison tailor to fit you
00:09:57 Big joke!
00:09:59 What's the rap this time?
00:10:01 Embalming people with coffee.
00:10:03 86 proof.
00:10:06 Me? I'm just a customer here.
00:10:08 Oh, come on, Spats.
00:10:11 Mozarella's just frontin' for you.
00:10:13 Mozarella? Never heard of him!
00:10:16 We got different information.
00:10:18 From who? Toothpick Charlie maybe?
00:10:21 Toothpick Charlie? Never heard of him!
00:10:25 Buttermilk!
00:10:29 Too smart to drink your own stuff, huh?
00:10:31 Come on! On your feet!
00:10:34 You're just wastin' the taxpayers' money.
00:10:36 Call your lawyer if you wanna.
00:10:39 These are my lawyers. All Harvard men.
00:10:44 (drunken brawling)
00:10:50 I wan' another cuppa coffee!
00:10:56 (police wagon bell)
00:11:30 That solves one problem. Now we don't
00:11:35 - Quiet. I'm thinking.
00:11:38 At Moe's Deli no
00:11:40 We can't borrow from the girls -
00:11:44 I wonder how much Sam the bookie
00:11:48 Sam the bookie?! Nothin' doin'!
00:11:52 - Jerry, I told you, it's a sure thing.
00:11:55 It is below zero! We'll get pneumonia!
00:11:58 Look, stupid, he's 10-1.
00:12:08 (wind howls)
00:12:12 Greased Lightning!
00:12:16 I thought you weren't talkin' to me.
00:12:18 The bull fiddle's
00:12:28 - Anything today?
00:12:30 Thank you.
00:12:34 - Anything today?
00:12:36 Thank you.
00:12:38 I can't go on, Joe. I'm weak from hunger,
00:12:42 If you gave me a chance,
00:12:45 - How?
00:12:48 Galloping Ghost. He's 15-1 and it's
00:12:53 What do you want from me?
00:12:55 No, your bass.
00:12:58 Are you crazy?! We're up the creek
00:13:02 All right, go ahead and starve.
00:13:05 - Anything today?
00:13:07 Well, you've got a lot of nerve!
00:13:10 Thank you!
00:13:12 Joe! Come back here!
00:13:18 Nellie, baby, if it's about Saturday night,
00:13:22 What a heel! I spend $4
00:13:25 ...I buy me a brand-new negligee...
00:13:27 ...I bake him a great big pizza pie...
00:13:30 - And where were you?
00:13:32 - With you!
00:13:34 Remember? You had this bad tooth...
00:13:36 It was impacted. His jaw was swoll out.
00:13:39 It was?
00:13:40 (muffled) Oh, yeah, was it ever!
00:13:42 - I took him for a blood transfusion.
00:13:46 - Type O.
00:13:48 - I'll make it up to you.
00:13:52 As soon as we get a job, I'll take you
00:13:57 How about it? Has Poliakoff got
00:14:00 Well, it just so happens
00:14:04 And a sax.
00:14:07 Right?
00:14:08 Right!
00:14:10 - What's the job?
00:14:12 - Florida!
00:14:15 Transportation and expenses all paid.
00:14:17 Isn't she a bit of terrific?
00:14:20 - He's with people. You'll have to wait.
00:14:24 Look, Gladys, it's three weeks in Florida!
00:14:27 Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators!
00:14:29 They need a couple of girls
00:14:32 Whaddaya mean, who is it?
00:14:36 Gladys! Are ya there?!
00:14:38 Gladys!
00:14:40 Meshugeneh.
00:14:42 Played 112 hours at a marathon dance.
00:14:44 - Now she's in bed with nervous collapse!
00:14:48 What about Cora Jackson?
00:14:49 Last I heard, she was playin'
00:14:53 Drexel 9044.
00:14:55 Oh, those idiot broads!
00:14:57 Here we are, packed and ready to leave
00:15:01 The saxophone runs off
00:15:04 ...and the bass fiddle gets pregnant!
00:15:06 Bienstock, I oughta fire you!
00:15:08 Me?! I'm the manager of the band,
00:15:12 Let me talk to Bessie Malone.
00:15:15 What's she doing in Philadelphia?
00:15:17 On the level?!
00:15:19 Bessie let her hair grow -
00:15:23 - Black Bottom Bessie?!
00:15:27 How about Rosemary Schultz?
00:15:29 Slashed her wrists when Valentino died.
00:15:31 We might as well all slash our wrists
00:15:35 We don't care where you find them.
00:15:39 The moment anything turns up,
00:15:43 Bye, Sig. I wonder
00:15:46 Nellie, get me long-distance.
00:15:48 - Sig, we wanna talk to you.
00:15:52 - The Florida job?!
00:15:54 - Not too late, are we?
00:15:58 Get me the William Morris Agency
00:16:01 - (Joe) You need a bass and a sax?
00:16:05 I wanna speak to Mr Morris.
00:16:07 - What's wrong with us?
00:16:09 - What do you want? Hunchbacks?
00:16:13 What kind of a band is it?
00:16:15 - You gotta be under 25.
00:16:17 - You gotta be blond.
00:16:19 And you gotta be girls!
00:16:21 - We could...
00:16:23 - Mr William Morris!
00:16:26 Good old Nellie - I could wring her neck!
00:16:28 Let's talk this over, Joe.
00:16:31 When we worked in the gypsy tearoom,
00:16:35 When you booked us with
00:16:39 - What's with him? He drinks?
00:16:42 His empty stomach has gone to his head.
00:16:44 Joe, three weeks in Florida! We could
00:16:48 - You've flipped your wig!
00:16:51 We get second-hand wigs,
00:16:54 We call ourselves
00:16:57 Josephine and Geraldine... Come on!
00:16:59 Look, if you boys wanna
00:17:03 ...at the University of Illinois
00:17:07 We'll take it!
00:17:09 $6 a man. Be on the campus
00:17:12 All the way to Urbana
00:17:15 It's $12! We can get
00:17:18 Hello. Mr Morris?
00:17:22 You don't have two girl musicians
00:17:25 A sax player and a bass?
00:17:26 - If William Morris doesn't come through...
00:17:32 It's 100 miles! It's snowin' outside!
00:17:34 - How do we get there?
00:17:37 - Like what?
00:17:38 Don't crowd me...
00:17:40 - How'd it go, girls?
00:17:44 Please, Jerry! That's no way to talk.
00:17:47 Nellie baby, what are you doin' tonight?
00:17:50 - Tonight? Why?
00:17:53 I'm not doing anything.
00:17:55 Really?
00:17:57 I just thought I'd go home
00:17:59 ...cold pizza.
00:18:01 Then you'll be in all evening?
00:18:03 Yes, Joe.
00:18:05 Good! Then you won't
00:18:08 My car?! Why, you...
00:18:13 Isn't he a bit of terrific?
00:18:17 (wind howls)
00:18:24 We coulda had three weeks
00:18:28 Lyin' in the sun, palm trees, flyin' fish...
00:18:31 Knock it off, will ya?
00:18:36 Possible straight, possible nothing,
00:18:42 All right, drop 'em, you guys!
00:18:45 - Drop what?
00:18:47 - Oh, yeah?
00:18:53 Musicians!
00:18:55 Wise guys.
00:18:57 OK, let's go. Aces bet.
00:18:59 It's a '25 Hupmobile, green, coupé... sir.
00:19:02 - It's over here.
00:19:04 - Want some gas?
00:19:07 About... 40 cents' worth, please.
00:19:09 Put it on Miss Weinmeyer's bill?
00:19:11 Uh... Yeah. Why not?
00:19:13 And while you're at it, fill it up.
00:19:15 (tyres screech)
00:19:25 All right, everybody! Hands up!
00:19:30 Face the wall!
00:19:34 You too, Toothpick.
00:19:37 Come on!
00:19:40 Come on!
00:19:53 Hey!
00:19:55 Join us!
00:20:08 OK, boss!
00:20:23 Hello, Charlie. Long time no see.
00:20:25 What is it, Spats?
00:20:27 I just dropped in to pay my respects.
00:20:30 - You don't owe me no nothin'.
00:20:32 You recommended my mortuary
00:20:35 - I don't know what you mean.
00:20:39 - I hate to see 'em go to waste.
00:20:42 Oh, too bad, Charlie.
00:20:50 Goodbye, Charlie.
00:20:51 No, Spats, no!
00:20:53 No, Spats! Please, no!
00:21:01 I think I'm gonna be sick!
00:21:03 (liquid gushes)
00:21:09 All right, come on outta there!
00:21:12 Come on!
00:21:14 Come on!
00:21:16 We... We didn't see anything. Did we?
00:21:19 What? No! Not a thing!
00:21:21 Besides, it's none of our business
00:21:26 Say... Don't I know you two
00:21:30 Oh, no, no! We're just
00:21:32 We came to pick up a car.
00:21:35 There's a dance tonight.
00:21:37 - Come on, Jerry.
00:21:40 - Where do you think you're goin'?
00:21:45 You're not goin' nowhere!
00:21:48 We're not?
00:21:50 - I don't like no witnesses.
00:21:53 You won't breathe nothin'.
00:21:55 Not even air.
00:22:28 (police siren)
00:22:30 All right, boys, let's blow out of here!
00:22:48 I think they got me!
00:22:51 - They got the bull fiddle.
00:22:53 If they catch us, there'll be blood
00:22:58 (sirens)
00:23:09 - Where are you running?
00:23:12 It's not far enough! Those guys know us.
00:23:21 (sirens still blaring)
00:23:30 Quick - gimme a nickel.
00:23:35 You're gonna call the police?
00:23:37 Police? We'd never live to testify
00:23:41 We gotta get out of town.
00:23:43 We will get out of town,
00:23:46 At a time like this? They're ready to blast
00:23:50 - Shave our legs, stupid.
00:23:55 (high-pitched voice) Hello. Mr Poliakoff?
00:23:58 I understand you're looking
00:24:01 Mm-hm... Mm-hm...
00:24:05 Mm-hm...
00:24:17 (Tannoy) Florida Limited
00:24:21 ... Charleston, Savannah,
00:24:26 All aboard! All aboard!
00:24:34 Ow!
00:24:36 - What is it now?
00:24:39 How do they keep their balance?
00:24:41 Must be the way the weight
00:24:45 It is so draughty!
00:24:47 They must catch cold all the time.
00:24:49 - Quit stalling! We'll miss the train!
00:24:52 - I feel like everybody's starin' at me.
00:24:59 Uh-oh.
00:25:06 It's no use! We're not gonna
00:25:09 The name is Josephine, and this was
00:25:35 Look at that!
00:25:38 Look how she moves!
00:25:40 That's just like Jell-O on springs!
00:25:42 They must have some sort of
00:25:45 I tell ya, it's a whole different sex!
00:25:48 Nobody's asking you to have a baby!
00:25:50 This is just to get us outta town.
00:25:54 I am not letting you talk me into...
00:25:56 Extra! Extra! Seven slaughtered
00:26:00 Fear of bloody aftermath! Extra! Extra!
00:26:02 - You talked me into it. Let's go.
00:26:08 - Rosella.
00:26:10 - Move along, Dolores.
00:26:12 - Hey, Olga, how's your back?
00:26:16 Uh... Well, here we are.
00:26:18 Are you two from the Poliakoff Agency?
00:26:20 - Yes. We're the new girls.
00:26:23 - This is our manager, Mr Bienstock.
00:26:25 And I'm Sweet Sue.
00:26:27 My name is Josephine.
00:26:30 - I'm Daphne!
00:26:32 Saxophone, bass. Am I glad to see
00:26:36 (Josephine) Likewise, I'm sure.
00:26:39 Where did you girls play before?
00:26:41 Here, there and... around, and...
00:26:44 We spent three years
00:26:49 (conductor) All aboard!
00:26:51 You're in berths 7 and 7 A.
00:26:53 (Josephine) 7 and 7 A.
00:26:54 - Thanks ever so!
00:26:56 Oh! The feeling's mutual.
00:26:59 Upsy-daisy!
00:27:01 Fresh!
00:27:03 Looks like Poliakoff sent
00:27:06 You'd better tell the other girls
00:27:10 (train whistle)
00:27:19 What are you?
00:27:20 (whispers) Daphne?!
00:27:23 Well, I never did like the name Geraldine.
00:27:32 Hi! I'm the bass fiddle!
00:27:35 (all) Hi!
00:27:37 My name is Josephine. Sax.
00:27:39 (all) Hi!
00:27:41 - Welcome to No Man's Land.
00:27:44 - Take off your corsets and spread out!
00:27:48 - Don't you bulge?
00:27:50 I have the most divine seamstress.
00:27:54 - My dear, she is so inexpensive!
00:27:57 Say, kids, have you heard the one
00:28:00 ...who was stranded on a desert island
00:28:04 No! How does it go?
00:28:05 (Bienstock) Cut it out, girls!
00:28:08 They went to a conservatory.
00:28:10 (mimics) They went to a conservatory!
00:28:12 (grating note)
00:28:14 How about that talent, huh?
00:28:18 It's like fallin' into a tub of butter.
00:28:20 Watch it, Daphne.
00:28:22 When I was a kid, Joe, I dreamed I was
00:28:26 And there was goodies all around.
00:28:28 There was jelly rolls and mocha éclairs
00:28:33 Listen to me: no butter, no pastry.
00:28:36 Yeah, sure, Joe!
00:28:38 Not there! That's the emergency brake!
00:28:43 Now you've done it.
00:28:45 - Done what?
00:28:48 You'd better go get it fixed.
00:28:50 You'd better come help me.
00:28:52 (train whistle)
00:29:00 This way, Daphne!
00:29:03 Now you tore the other one.
00:29:17 Terribly sorry.
00:29:19 It's OK. I was scared it was Sweet Sue.
00:29:21 - You won't tell anybody, will you?
00:29:25 If they catch me once more,
00:29:30 Are you the replacement
00:29:32 That's us! And I'm Daphne.
00:29:34 This is... uh... Joe... sephine.
00:29:37 Come in, come in.
00:29:39 - I'm Sugar Kane.
00:29:41 - Sugar Kane?
00:29:44 - Polish?
00:29:47 My mother's a piano teacher.
00:29:50 - Where did he conduct?
00:29:54 Oh.
00:29:56 I play the ukulele, and I sing, too.
00:29:59 I don't have much of a voice, but then
00:30:03 I'm only with them cos I'm running away.
00:30:06 - Running away from what?
00:30:10 Hey, you want some? It's bourbon.
00:30:13 I'll take a rain check.
00:30:16 I don't want you to think
00:30:19 I can stop if I want to,
00:30:21 - Especially when I'm blue.
00:30:24 All the girls drink. But I'm the one
00:30:28 I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
00:30:36 Are my seams straight?
00:30:38 I'll say!
00:30:41 Well, see you around, girls.
00:30:43 Bye, Sugar!
00:30:45 We have been playing
00:30:48 - Down, Daphne!
00:30:51 Forget it. One false move
00:30:54 Then it's the police,
00:30:57 Boy, would I love to
00:31:00 Look...
00:31:02 No pastry, no butter - and no Sugar!
00:31:06 You tore 'em again!
00:31:16 ("Runnin' Wild")
00:31:25 (erratic saxophone playing)
00:31:47 Hey, Sheboygan! You two! What was
00:31:51 No. Funerals.
00:31:53 Well, would you mind rejoining the living?
00:31:57 We'll try.
00:31:59 How did those holes get there?
00:32:01 Uh... those?
00:32:05 I don't know!
00:32:07 Mice?
00:32:08 All right, girls. Let's take it
00:32:11 And put a little heat under it!
00:32:37 Runnin' wild, lost control
00:32:40 Runnin' wild, mighty bold
00:32:43 Feelin' gay, reckless too
00:32:46 Carefree mind all the time, never blue
00:32:49 Always goin', don't know where
00:32:52 Always showin' I don't care
00:32:56 Don't love nobody
00:33:00 It's not worthwhile
00:33:04 All alone
00:33:08 Runnin' wild
00:33:18 Bienstock!
00:33:21 - Yes, Sue? What is it?
00:33:24 ...that I don't want
00:33:33 All right, girls. Who does this belong to?
00:33:35 Come on, now. Speak up.
00:33:38 - Sugar, I warned you...
00:33:41 This is the last straw! In Kansas
00:33:45 Mr Bienstock,
00:33:47 Sure. Pack your things.
00:33:51 Yes. Just a little bourbon.
00:33:55 Give me that!
00:33:56 Didn't you girls say
00:33:59 - Oh, yes! For a whole year!
00:34:03 We got time off... for good behaviour.
00:34:06 There are two things I will not
00:34:10 One is liquor and the other one is men!
00:34:13 - Men?!
00:34:16 We wouldn't be caught dead with men!
00:34:18 Rough, hairy beasts with eight hands!
00:34:21 And they all just want
00:34:25 I beg your pardon, miss!
00:34:28 All right, girls! From the top again!
00:34:33 ("Runnin' Wild")
00:35:09 - Hortense, dear, good night!
00:35:12 - Maude, sweet dreams!
00:35:15 Good night, Gloria!
00:35:17 Dolores, you sleep tight, you hear?
00:35:20 Nighty-night, Emily!
00:35:22 Toodle-oo!
00:35:26 How about that "toodle-oo"!
00:35:29 Steady, boy!
00:35:31 Just keep tellin' yourself you're a girl.
00:35:33 - I'm a girl.
00:35:35 I'm a girl. I'm a girl.
00:35:37 I'm a girl.
00:35:43 Hi!
00:35:45 Get a load of that rhythm section!
00:35:48 I'm a girl.
00:35:50 I'm a girl. I'm a girl.
00:35:52 I'm a girl.
00:35:56 (Daphne) Good night, Sugar!
00:36:01 Good night, honey!
00:36:05 Honey? Hey, she called me "honey"!
00:36:07 Ooh, honey!
00:36:09 Hey, what are you doin'?
00:36:11 Just makin' sure honey stays in her hive.
00:36:13 There'll be no buzzin' around tonight!
00:36:16 Supposin' I gotta go...
00:36:19 - Fight it.
00:36:21 Suppose it's an emergency.
00:36:24 Pull the emergency brake.
00:36:27 Hey, Bienstock. You know, there's
00:36:31 - Funny? In what way?
00:36:35 One thing about an ulcer, it's like having
00:36:39 You watch your ulcers,
00:36:42 OK, everybody settle down and go to bed!
00:36:45 Good night, girls!
00:36:46 - Good night, Daphne.
00:36:53 (train whistle)
00:36:58 (sighs) I'm a girl... I'm a girl...
00:37:00 I wish I were dead.
00:37:02 I'm a girl... I'm a girl... I'm a girl...
00:37:07 (train rhythm)
00:37:48 (whispers) Daphne!
00:37:56 Daphne!
00:38:00 Sugar!
00:38:03 I wanted to thank you for
00:38:07 Oh... It's nothing! I, uh...
00:38:10 I just thought that
00:38:13 If it wasn't for you,
00:38:16 I'd be out in the middle of nowhere,
00:38:20 Oh... It's freezing outside!
00:38:22 I mean, when I think about you
00:38:26 If there's ever anything I can do for you...
00:38:29 I can think of a million things!
00:38:34 - That's one of 'em!
00:38:36 - It's Sweet Sue.
00:38:51 I don't want her to know we're in cahoots.
00:38:53 Oh, well, we won't tell anybody.
00:38:57 Maybe I'd better stay here
00:39:00 You stay here as long as you like.
00:39:05 I'm not crowding you, am I?
00:39:08 No. It's nice and cosy.
00:39:11 When I was a little girl,
00:39:16 We'd cuddle up under the covers and
00:39:20 ...and were trying to find our way out.
00:39:22 (giggles nervously) Very interesting.
00:39:26 - Anything wrong?
00:39:31 You poor thing! You're trembling all over!
00:39:33 That's ridiculous.
00:39:36 - Your head's hot.
00:39:39 - You've got cold feet!
00:39:42 Here, let me warm them up a little.
00:39:44 - There! Isn't that better?
00:39:47 - What did you say?
00:39:50 - I'd better go before I catch something.
00:39:54 I've got very low resistance.
00:39:56 Uh... Sugar, if you feel you're
00:40:00 ...the best thing in the world
00:40:03 - You've got some?
00:40:05 Don't move. Shh!
00:40:07 - Hold on.
00:40:32 Up! Up!
00:40:36 (thud)
00:40:39 - Are you all right?
00:40:42 - How's the bottle?
00:40:46 - You'd better get some cups.
00:40:58 Oh, I tell you, my dear,
00:41:02 You'd better put on the lights.
00:41:05 No lights. We don't want them
00:41:09 - But I might spill some.
00:41:11 Spills, thrills, laughs and games.
00:41:14 This may even turn out
00:41:17 - What's the surprise?
00:41:19 - When?
00:41:22 That'll put hair on your chest.
00:41:24 No fair guessing!
00:41:27 Is this a private clambake
00:41:30 It's private! Please, go away!
00:41:32 Dolores, do you still have that vermouth?
00:41:34 - Sure!
00:41:37 We've got bourbon.
00:41:39 Manhattans? At this time of night?!
00:41:41 - Bring the cocktail shaker!
00:41:44 You're gonna spoil my surprise!
00:41:48 - Hey, honey, what's up?
00:41:51 - I'll get cheese and crackers!
00:41:55 Hey, Rosella, there's a party in upper 7!
00:41:57 - You got a corkscrew?
00:42:00 - Go get some paper cups.
00:42:02 Hey, there's a party in upper 7!
00:42:09 - Here's the vermouth.
00:42:13 I brought some cheese and crackers.
00:42:16 - Will ten cups be enough?
00:42:21 - Please, girls! Will you stop this?!
00:42:25 Shh! Girls, you'll wake up
00:42:29 Josephine...
00:42:30 Watch that corkscrew!
00:42:32 - Here's a cracker.
00:42:35 Will you girls go away
00:42:38 Here's the cocktail shaker.
00:42:40 - I wish we had ice.
00:42:44 13 girls in a berth is bad luck!
00:42:48 - Pass me the peanut butter.
00:42:51 No more food!
00:42:55 Hey! Have you got any
00:42:58 - Hm?
00:43:00 (girls chattering and laughing)
00:43:07 Maraschino cherries?!
00:43:19 What's going on here?
00:43:21 Daphne! Daphne, where are you?!
00:43:23 Daphne!
00:43:25 It's not my fault! I didn't invite 'em!
00:43:27 Come on, girls, break it up!
00:43:31 You heard Josephine. Girls!
00:43:34 - Not you, Sugar!
00:43:38 Get out! Get out!
00:43:40 That's right, Sugar.
00:43:43 - Shh!
00:43:45 - Have a Manhattan!
00:43:49 Sugar! Don't leave me here alone!
00:43:51 (Josephine) Come on, kids.
00:43:54 You've had your fun.
00:43:58 - What's this?
00:44:07 Put it here!
00:44:09 Sugar, you're gonna
00:44:12 Yeah. You'd better keep a lookout.
00:44:15 If Bienstock catches you again...
00:44:17 What's the matter with you, anyway?
00:44:19 I'm not very bright, I guess.
00:44:21 I wouldn't say that. Careless, maybe.
00:44:24 No, just dumb. If I had any brains, I
00:44:28 Well, why'd you take this job?
00:44:30 I used to sing with male bands,
00:44:33 Have you ever been with a male band?
00:44:36 Who, me?
00:44:38 That's what I'm running away from.
00:44:40 I worked with six in the last two years.
00:44:43 - Rough?
00:44:45 - You can't trust those guys.
00:44:48 I have this thing about saxophone players.
00:44:51 Especially tenor sax.
00:44:54 Really?
00:44:56 I don't know why, but they just curdle me.
00:44:58 All they have to do is play eight bars of
00:45:02 ...and my spine turns to custard, I get
00:45:06 - That so?
00:45:10 You know, I play tenor sax.
00:45:12 But you're a girl - thank goodness!
00:45:14 - Oh. Yeah.
00:45:17 Safety first. Anything
00:45:20 - Yeah...
00:45:22 You fall for 'em. You think this is gonna be
00:45:27 The next thing you know,
00:45:30 ...spending it on other dames
00:45:33 You don't say!
00:45:34 Then one morning you wake up,
00:45:39 All that's left behind
00:45:41 ...and a tube of toothpaste
00:45:44 You pull yourself together, you go on to
00:45:48 It's the same thing all over again!
00:45:51 You see what I mean? Not very bright.
00:45:54 Brains aren't everything.
00:45:56 I can tell you one thing. It's not
00:46:00 I'm tired of getting
00:46:04 Ice! What's keeping the ice?
00:46:08 - How about a couple of drinks for us?
00:46:12 - You know, I'm gonna be 25 in June.
00:46:15 That's a quarter of a century.
00:46:18 - About what?
00:46:20 You know - like a husband. That's why
00:46:24 - What's in Florida?
00:46:27 They all go south for the winter,
00:46:30 - Gonna catch yourself a rich bird?
00:46:33 As long as he has a yacht, a private
00:46:37 - You're entitled.
00:46:41 With money like Rockefeller and
00:46:44 - Oh, I want mine to wear glasses.
00:46:47 Men who wear glasses are so much
00:46:51 - Haven't you ever noticed it?
00:46:55 They get those weak eyes from reading.
00:46:57 You know. Those long, tiny little columns
00:47:02 That bass fiddle, she sure
00:47:05 Hot-diggety-dog!
00:47:09 Well, happy days!
00:47:11 I hope this time you wind up
00:47:19 So the one-legged jockey said...
00:47:21 What did he say?
00:47:23 So the one-legged jockey said "Don't
00:47:31 Oh, shh!
00:47:33 Hic! Hic!
00:47:36 I'm terribly sorry. I seem to have hiccups!
00:47:38 Hey, let's rub some ice on her neck!
00:47:41 I think... Ow! You dropped it!
00:47:43 Oh, that's cold!
00:47:45 - Oh, no, please! Oh, don't do that!
00:47:49 (girls squeal with delight)
00:47:52 Help! Please! Help! Help!
00:47:55 Josephine!
00:47:57 Please stop that! Stop that! Stop that!
00:48:11 - What happened?
00:48:13 Uh... I mean, I'll see.
00:48:25 All right, what's goin' on around here?!
00:48:28 Bienstock!
00:48:31 Are we in Florida?
00:48:36 Down among the sheltering palms
00:48:38 Honey, wait for me
00:48:40 Don't be forgettin' we got a date
00:48:43 Up where the sun
00:48:46 How my love is
00:48:49 How my heart is
00:48:52 To be down among the sheltering palms
00:48:55 Honey, wait for me
00:48:59 (giggling and squealing)
00:49:18 (Daphne) Sugar?
00:49:20 Here. I'll carry the instruments.
00:49:22 - Oh, thank you, Daphne!
00:49:25 Isn't she a sweetheart?
00:49:33 How do you do?
00:49:38 Zowie!
00:49:40 Well, there they are. More millionaires
00:49:44 I bet there isn't one under 75!
00:49:46 That's three quarters of a century.
00:49:49 Let's hope they brought
00:49:52 (chortles) Yes!
00:50:02 Oh, pardon me, miss.
00:50:06 - May I?
00:50:08 I'm Osgood Fielding the Third.
00:50:11 I'm Cinderella the Second!
00:50:13 If there's one thing I admire,
00:50:18 Me, too. Bye-bye!
00:50:21 - Let me carry one of the instruments.
00:50:25 Aren't you a sweetheart!
00:50:31 It certainly is delightful
00:50:35 Well, personally, I'm type O.
00:50:37 I've always been fascinated
00:50:40 - Is that so?
00:50:42 ...it's cost my family quite a bit of money.
00:50:46 Showgirls.
00:50:47 I've been married seven or eight times.
00:50:50 - You're not sure?
00:50:52 - She's getting rather annoyed with me.
00:50:56 So when George White's Scandals
00:51:00 She thinks I'm out on my yacht...
00:51:03 ...deep-sea fishing.
00:51:05 Well, pull in your reel, Mr Fielding.
00:51:10 If I promise not to be a naughty boy,
00:51:14 - I'm sorry. I'll be on the bandstand.
00:51:17 - Which instrument do you play?
00:51:20 Oh, fascinating!
00:51:21 Do you use a bow, or do you just pluck it?
00:51:25 Most of the time, I slap it!
00:51:28 You must be quite a girl!
00:51:31 Wanna bet?
00:51:33 My last wife was an acrobatic dancer.
00:51:36 She could smoke a cigarette
00:51:40 Zowie!
00:51:42 - But Mama broke it up.
00:51:44 She doesn't approve of girls who smoke.
00:51:48 - Bye-bye, Mr Fielding.
00:51:50 - This is where I get off!
00:51:54 You don't get off that easy!
00:51:56 All right, driver.
00:51:59 And keep your eyes on the road!
00:52:10 What kind of a girl
00:52:15 - Oh, please! It won't happen again!
00:52:18 - Please, come back!
00:52:20 Oh, please, miss! I...
00:52:25 Zowie!
00:52:27 All right, girls. Here are
00:52:30 My glasses! Where are my glasses?!
00:52:34 Olga and Mary Lou are in 412.
00:52:36 And, Mary Lou, do up your kimono
00:52:40 - Josephine and Daphne are in 413.
00:52:42 - Dolores and Sugar in 414.
00:52:45 What did you expect?
00:52:48 Rosella and Emily in 415...
00:52:50 - I wish they'd put us in the same room.
00:52:53 But don't worry about it, Sugar.
00:52:58 414... That's the same room number
00:53:02 ...my last time around with a male band.
00:53:04 What a heel he was!
00:53:06 - A saxophone player?
00:53:10 At two in the morning he sent me down
00:53:13 They were out of potato salad,
00:53:17 - So he threw it right in my face.
00:53:20 You're gonna meet
00:53:23 - What makes you so sure?
00:53:35 - Oh. Are these your bags?
00:53:37 And that one, too.
00:53:39 OK, doll.
00:53:42 I suppose you want a tip.
00:53:44 Ah, forget it, doll.
00:53:46 After all, you work here and I work here.
00:53:51 - Bye-bye.
00:53:53 - What time do you get off tonight?
00:53:56 I'm workin' the night shift and
00:54:00 - When there's a lull...
00:54:04 Oh, you wanna see my... driver's licence?
00:54:08 Get lost, will you?
00:54:10 That's the way I like 'em - big and sassy!
00:54:14 Oh, and, uh... get rid of your roommate.
00:54:31 Dirty old man!
00:54:32 - What happened?
00:54:35 - See how the other half lives?
00:54:38 They don't care. You're wearing a skirt.
00:54:43 I'm sick of being the flag.
00:54:45 - Let's blow!
00:54:48 You promised me that the minute
00:54:51 - How can we? We're broke!
00:54:55 Spats Colombo is looking for us
00:55:00 - It's humiliating!
00:55:03 Would you rather be
00:55:06 All right. But how long d'you think
00:55:09 What's the beef? We're sittin' pretty!
00:55:11 Look. We get room and board.
00:55:15 Look at the palm trees, flying fish...
00:55:17 What are you givin' me with flyin' fish?!
00:55:20 I know why you wanna stay.
00:55:22 - Me, after Sugar?!
00:55:25 All lovey-dovey and whisperin'
00:55:29 - What are you saying? Me and Sugar?!
00:55:32 - We're just like sisters!
00:55:36 ...and I'm gonna keep an eye on you!
00:55:38 - (knocking)
00:55:46 Come in!
00:55:49 You girls seen a brown bag
00:55:52 It has all my resort clothes!
00:55:54 - No, we haven't.
00:55:57 First my glasses disappear,
00:56:00 - Where's my ukulele?
00:56:02 - There must be a sneak thief around here!
00:56:07 - We're going for a swim. Coming?
00:56:10 Daphne, you haven't got a bathing suit.
00:56:13 She doesn't need one.
00:56:16 - She doesn't have one either! You don't?
00:56:20 - How about you, Josephine?
00:56:23 - On a day like this? It's lovely out!
00:56:28 - Don't get burned, Daphne.
00:56:31 See? She'll rub it on me,
00:56:34 ...we'll rub it on each other.
00:57:22 By the sea, by the sea,
00:57:26 You and me, you and me,
00:57:29 I love to be beside,
00:57:32 Beside the seaside
00:57:38 Daphne! Cut it out!
00:57:42 Just a little trick
00:57:45 Ooh, look out! Here comes a big one!
00:57:48 Whee!
00:58:19 Daphne! I had no idea
00:58:22 Oh, Sugar, you should've seen me
00:58:25 I mean your shoulders and your arms!
00:58:27 It's carrying that bull fiddle around.
00:58:29 - There's one thing I envy you for.
00:58:32 You're so flat-chested!
00:58:34 Clothes hang better on you
00:58:37 (Dolores) Watch out, Daphne!
00:58:39 - Sugar, come on! Let's play ball!
00:58:43 Let's go, Junior. Time for your nap.
00:58:46 No! I wanna play!
00:58:48 You heard your mother, Junior. Scram!
00:58:50 This beach ain't big enough
00:58:53 Mommy! Mommy!
00:58:55 (Daphne) Here we go!
00:58:57 (girls chant) I like coffee, I like tea!
00:59:00 (girls chant) How many boys
00:59:04 One!
00:59:05 Two!
00:59:06 Three!
00:59:07 Four!
00:59:08 Five!
00:59:09 Six!
00:59:10 (squeals)
00:59:15 (Cary Grant voice) I'm terribly sorry!
00:59:18 - You're not hurt, are you?
00:59:20 - I wish you'd make sure.
00:59:22 Because usually
00:59:25 ...they hire a shyster lawyer and sue me
00:59:30 - I won't sue you, no matter who you are.
00:59:35 - Who are you?
00:59:39 Suga-a-ar!
00:59:41 Come on!
00:59:43 Honestly!
00:00:07 - Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
00:00:11 - Are you staying at the hotel?
00:00:13 Your face is familiar.
00:00:15 It's possible you've seen it
00:00:19 - Uh... Vanity Fair.
00:00:21 Would you mind moving a little?
00:00:25 Your view? Of what?
00:00:26 They run up a red-and-white flag
00:00:30 You own a yacht?!
00:00:33 Which one is it? The big one?!
00:00:35 Certainly not!
00:00:37 With all the world unrest, nobody should
00:00:41 I quite agree!
00:00:44 Tell me, who runs up that flag?
00:00:46 - Your wife?
00:00:49 Who mixes the cocktails? Your wife?
00:00:52 No, my cocktail steward.
00:00:54 Look, if you're interested in
00:00:57 - Oh, I'm not interested at all!
00:01:01 That's very interesting!
00:01:06 - How's the stock market?
00:01:09 I'll bet while we were talking,
00:01:12 Could be. You play the market?
00:01:14 - No, the ukulele. And I sing, too.
00:01:17 A bunch of us girls
00:01:20 Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators.
00:01:22 - Oh! You're society girls!
00:01:26 We're just doing this for a lark!
00:01:29 Syncopators. Does that mean you play
00:01:33 Yeah! Real hot!
00:01:36 I guess some like it hot.
00:01:40 Oh, I do, too!
00:01:42 As a matter of fact, I spent three years
00:01:46 Good school.
00:01:48 And your family doesn't
00:01:51 They do indeed! Daddy threatened
00:01:54 But I don't care. It was such a bore.
00:01:56 - Coming-out parties...
00:01:59 - Opening of the opera...
00:02:01 And always the same 400!
00:02:03 You know, it's amazing we never
00:02:07 I'm sure I'd have remembered
00:02:10 You're very kind. I'll bet
00:02:14 I beg your pardon?
00:02:15 You see, I have a theory
00:02:18 - What theory?
00:02:21 - What are you doing tonight?
00:02:24 Maybe you could come
00:02:27 - I'd like to, but that would be difficult.
00:02:30 I only come ashore twice a day
00:02:34 It's on account of these shells.
00:02:37 - You collect shells?
00:02:40 You might say we had
00:02:43 That's why we named
00:02:47 Shell Oil?!
00:02:48 Please, no names. Just call me Junior.
00:02:51 (Daphne) Sugar!
00:02:52 Sugar! Come on, dear.
00:02:55 - Daphne dear, I'll catch up with you later.
00:03:08 No!
00:03:09 What is it, young lady?
00:03:12 This happens to me all the time.
00:03:14 I recognised him, too.
00:03:17 - Would you move along, please?
00:03:20 He's waiting for a signal from his yacht!
00:03:23 His yacht?!
00:03:25 It sleeps 12!
00:03:26 This is my friend Daphne.
00:03:29 I'm a what?
00:03:30 Or was it Bryn Mawr?
00:03:34 I heard a very sad story
00:03:37 She squealed on her roommate...
00:03:39 ...and they found her strangled
00:03:43 Yes! We have to be very careful
00:03:48 Well, I think I'd better be going.
00:03:51 It was delightful meeting you both.
00:03:53 - You will come and hear us play?
00:03:56 Oh, do come! lt'll be such fun!
00:03:58 - And bring your yacht.
00:04:07 How about that guy?!
00:04:09 - Daphne, hands off. I saw him first.
00:04:14 If I were a girl...
00:04:14 - and I am! -
00:04:17 If I'd been watching my step,
00:04:20 - I can't wait to tell Josephine!
00:04:24 I can't wait to see her face.
00:04:27 Neither can I! Let's run up
00:04:30 - We don't have to run.
00:04:40 Josephine! Yoo-hoo!
00:04:43 - I guess she's not here.
00:04:46 I can't imagine where she'd be!
00:04:48 - I'll be back later.
00:04:50 I have a feeling
00:04:53 - Believe it or not, Josephine predicted it!
00:04:57 - Do you suppose she went shopping?
00:05:00 Something tells me she's gonna come
00:05:05 (Josephine) Running wild, lost control
00:05:09 Running wild, mighty bold
00:05:12 Da ta tah, dee tee tee
00:05:16 Carefree mind all the time, never blue
00:05:18 - (Sugar) Josephine!
00:05:22 Always going, don't know where
00:05:25 Always showing I don't care
00:05:28 Have a good time, girls?
00:05:30 Oh, Josephine!
00:05:33 - What?
00:05:35 - They repealed Prohibition?
00:05:39 - I met one of them!
00:05:42 Shell Oil Junior! He's got millions,
00:05:46 You don't say!
00:05:48 He's not only got a yacht!
00:05:50 Daphne!
00:05:52 Go on. Tell me all about him.
00:05:54 Well, he's young and he's handsome.
00:05:58 He's a real gentleman.
00:06:01 Maybe you'd better go after him
00:06:05 I'm not gonna let this one get away.
00:06:09 Shells?! Whatever for?
00:06:12 Oh, you know. The old shell game?
00:06:14 (Josephine) Daphne, you're bothering us.
00:06:17 - Anyway, you're gonna meet him tonight.
00:06:20 He said he'd come
00:06:22 What do you mean, maybe? I saw the way
00:06:27 (Sugar) I hope so.
00:06:28 What do you think, Josephine?
00:06:32 Sugar!
00:06:34 - Hey, is Sugar in here?
00:06:36 Sugar, you got the key? I'm locked out
00:06:40 See you on the bandstand, girls.
00:06:45 (door shuts)
00:06:46 What are you tryin' to do to that girl,
00:06:50 And that phoney accent!
00:06:52 (Cary Grant voice)
00:06:55 I've seen you pull
00:06:57 This is without doubt
00:07:07 I'm... not afraid of you.
00:07:10 I'm thin, but I'm wiry.
00:07:12 Now, Joe, you're gonna get hurt!
00:07:16 Joe! Don't look at me like that!
00:07:21 I'm gonna press the suit myself.
00:07:23 - (phone rings)
00:07:25 Answer the tele... phone.
00:07:31 (as Joe) Hello?
00:07:33 (as Josephine) Hello?
00:07:35 Yes, this is 413.
00:07:37 Ship to shore?
00:07:39 All right, I'll take it.
00:07:40 Daphne? It's that naughty boy again.
00:07:43 You know - Osgood? In the elevator?
00:07:45 You slapped my face?
00:07:50 - Who is this?
00:07:52 Daphne can't talk right now.
00:07:55 Well, it is to me.
00:07:58 Tell her I'd like her to have supper with
00:08:02 Got it. Supper, yacht,
00:08:05 - Your yacht?!
00:08:09 The Old Caledonia went down
00:08:14 But tell her not to worry.
00:08:16 This'll be a quiet little
00:08:20 Just the two of you?
00:08:22 What about the crew?
00:08:24 Oh, that's all been taken care of.
00:08:28 We'll have a little
00:08:31 I've checked with the coastguard.
00:08:35 Oh, and tell her I've got
00:08:42 That's good thinking!
00:08:45 - Pushover for who? What...
00:08:48 Yes, Mr Fielding.
00:08:50 You'll pick her up after the show
00:08:54 What's that you said?
00:08:56 Oh, "Zowie." I'll give her the message.
00:08:59 What message? What motorboat?
00:09:01 You got it made. Fielding wants to have
00:09:05 Just the three of you on that
00:09:09 Fat chance! Call him back
00:09:11 Of course you're not.
00:09:13 I'm going.
00:09:16 You're gonna be on the boat
00:09:19 No. I'm gonna be on the boat with Sugar.
00:09:21 - Where's he gonna be?
00:09:25 - With me?!
00:09:26 Oh, no! Not tonight, Josephine!
00:09:33 I wanna be loved by you
00:09:36 Just you, nobody else but you
00:09:40 I wanna be loved by you alo-o-one
00:09:45 Boop boop be doo
00:09:48 I wanna be kissed by you
00:09:51 Just you, nobody else but you
00:09:55 I wanna be kissed by you alone
00:10:01 I couldn't aspire
00:10:05 To anything higher
00:10:09 Than to fill the desire
00:10:11 To make you my own
00:10:14 Ba-dum ba-dum ba doodly dum - boo!
00:10:18 I wanna be loved by you
00:10:21 Just you, nobody else but you
00:10:26 I wanna be loved by you alone
00:10:45 Daphne, your boyfriend's waving at you.
00:10:48 You can both go take a flyin' jump!
00:10:50 Remember, he's your date
00:10:55 Oh, you can do better than that.
00:11:08 Oooh, why do I let you
00:11:12 Because we're pals. The two musketeers.
00:11:14 Don't give me the musketeers!
00:11:16 - How am I gonna keep the guy ashore?
00:11:20 Play miniature golf with him.
00:11:22 Oh, no! I'm not gonna get caught
00:11:31 Hi! Which of you dolls is Daphne?
00:11:33 Bull fiddle.
00:11:35 It's from satchel mouth at table seven.
00:11:43 This is from me to you, doll.
00:11:45 Beat it, buster.
00:11:47 Never mind leaving your door open.
00:11:52 I couldn't aspire...
00:11:55 - What are you doin' with my flowers?
00:12:00 ~... to fill the desire
00:12:02 To make you my own
00:12:05 Ba-dum ba-dum, ba doodly dum - boo!
00:12:08 I wanna be loved by you
00:12:11 Just you, nobody else but you
00:12:16 I wanna be loved by you
00:12:19 Ba-deedly deedly deedly dum
00:12:21 Boop boop be doo
00:12:23 (applause)
00:12:25 ("Sweet Sue")
00:12:30 I guess he's not gonna show up.
00:12:33 - Do you suppose he forgot?
00:12:37 These came for you.
00:12:39 For me?!
00:12:42 It's Shell Oil!
00:12:44 - No!
00:12:46 He wants me to have supper
00:12:48 He's going to pick me up at the pier.
00:12:50 - No!
00:12:52 You heard her - yes!
00:12:54 Oh, Josephine, just imagine! Me,
00:12:59 ...on a millionaire's yacht!
00:13:01 If my mother could only see me now!
00:13:05 I hope my mother never finds out!
00:13:09 Well, that's it for tonight, folks!
00:13:11 This is Sweet Sue saying good night,
00:13:16 ...that every girl in my band is a virtuoso.
00:13:18 And I intend to keep it that way!
00:13:27 - Good luck.
00:13:33 (musical finale)
00:13:39 (applause)
00:14:59 But it's such a waste!
00:15:02 - I'll throw up.
00:15:05 - There's a roadhouse down the coast...
00:15:12 Well, I'll be! He does have a bicycle!
00:15:15 - Who?
00:15:16 About the roadhouse?
00:15:18 Oh! They have a Cuban band
00:15:21 Let's go there, blindfold the orchestra
00:15:25 - You know something, Mr Fielding?
00:15:28 You're dynamite!
00:15:30 You're a pretty hot
00:15:33 (barks)
00:16:25 Ahoy, there!
00:16:29 Ahoy!
00:16:38 Been waiting long?
00:16:40 It's not how long you wait.
00:16:43 Thank you. And thank you for the flowers.
00:16:46 I wanted them to fly orchids from our
00:16:51 It's the thought that counts.
00:16:59 Hm... I seem to be out of gas.
00:17:01 It's sort of funny, you being out of gas.
00:17:04 I mean, Shell Oil and everything.
00:17:06 - (motor starts)
00:17:13 Uh, it seems to be stuck in reverse.
00:17:16 Uh... I just got this motorboat.
00:17:20 It seems like they're on the wrong track!
00:17:22 Do you mind riding backwards?
00:17:26 It's not how long it takes.
00:17:29 Hm, yes.
00:17:55 It looked so small from the beach!
00:17:57 But when you're on it, it's like
00:18:01 It's just regulation-size. We have three.
00:18:05 Daddy's is in Venezuela.
00:18:09 My dad's more interested in railroads.
00:18:13 Which is the port
00:18:15 Well, that depends on
00:18:19 I mean, normally the aft
00:18:22 And that's the bridge.
00:18:24 So that you can get
00:18:28 - Would you like a glass of champagne?
00:18:33 Oh! You have an upstairs
00:18:36 Yes. That's the hurricane cellar.
00:18:40 Uh, and another nice thing about
00:18:44 Now, let me see. Where do you
00:18:52 In here!
00:18:55 Oh, yes, of course. How silly of me.
00:18:57 On Thursdays they always
00:19:09 It's exquisite! Like a floating mansion!
00:19:12 Uh... It's all right for a bachelor.
00:19:15 - What a beautiful fish!
00:19:20 What is it?
00:19:22 It's... a member of the herring family.
00:19:26 A herring?!
00:19:28 Isn't it amazing how they get those
00:19:33 They shrink when they're marinated.
00:19:35 - Champagne?
00:19:37 Well, down the hatch, as we say at sea.
00:19:39 Bon voyage.
00:19:46 Look at all that silverware!
00:19:48 Uh... trophies. You know.
00:19:52 Water polo? Isn't that terribly dangerous?
00:19:55 I'll say! I had two ponies
00:19:57 Where's your shell collection?
00:20:00 Yes, of course. Where
00:20:02 You see, on Thursdays
00:20:05 - What's on Thursdays?
00:20:08 - You mean we're alone on the boat?
00:20:11 I've never been completely alone with
00:20:15 ...in the middle of the ocean.
00:20:18 We're anchored.
00:20:21 The coastguard will call
00:20:24 It's not the icebergs.
00:20:26 But certain men would try to
00:20:30 - You're flattering me!
00:20:33 Oh, it's not that. It's just
00:20:38 - Harmless? How?
00:20:41 ...but I've got this thing about girls.
00:20:43 What thing?
00:20:44 They just sort of leave me cold.
00:20:46 You mean, like, frigid?
00:20:49 Well, it's more like... um...
00:20:52 When I'm with a girl,
00:20:55 Have you tried?
00:20:57 Have I! I'm trying all the time!
00:21:07 See? Nothing.
00:21:09 - Nothing at all?
00:21:11 That makes me feel just awful.
00:21:14 Oh, my dear, it's not your fault.
00:21:16 Every now and then Mother Nature
00:21:19 Something goes wrong inside.
00:21:21 - You mean you can't fall in love?
00:21:24 I was in love once,
00:21:27 - Would you like a little cold pheasant?
00:21:30 - I don't want to bore you.
00:21:33 Well...
00:21:36 It was my freshman year at Princeton.
00:21:38 There was this girl. Her name was Nellie.
00:21:40 Her father was
00:21:43 She wore glasses, too.
00:21:45 That summer we spent
00:21:49 We were on the highest ledge
00:21:52 ...when suddenly we got
00:21:54 I took off my glasses.
00:21:57 I took a step toward her.
00:21:59 She took a step toward me.
00:22:01 Oh, no!
00:22:03 Yes.
00:22:05 Eight hours later
00:22:07 I gave her three transfusions.
00:22:11 But it was too late.
00:22:14 Talk about sad!
00:22:17 Ever since then...
00:22:19 ...numb, no feelings, like my heart
00:22:23 You poor, poor boy!
00:22:25 Yes. All the money in the world,
00:22:28 Mint sauce or cranberries?
00:22:31 How can you think about food
00:22:34 What else is there for me?
00:22:36 - Is it that hopeless?
00:22:40 Hired the most beautiful
00:22:43 Got a special tutor to read me
00:22:46 Imported a troupe of Balinese dancers...
00:22:49 ...with those bells on their ankles
00:22:52 What a waste of money!
00:22:54 Have you ever tried American girls?
00:22:57 Why?
00:23:04 Was that anything?
00:23:07 Thanks just the same.
00:23:10 You should see a doctor - a good doctor.
00:23:13 I have. I spent six months in Vienna
00:23:18 Then there were the Mayo brothers,
00:23:23 If I wasn't such a coward, I'd kill myself.
00:23:27 Don't say that!
00:23:29 There must be some girl
00:23:32 If I ever found a girl that could,
00:23:37 - Would you do me a favour?
00:23:40 I may not be Dr Freud or a Mayo brother
00:23:45 ...but... could I take another crack at it?
00:23:47 All right, if you insist.
00:24:03 Anything this time?
00:24:05 I'm afraid not.
00:24:07 Terribly sorry.
00:24:09 Would you like some more champagne?
00:24:14 Maybe if we had some music.
00:24:17 Look, it's terribly sweet of you
00:24:22 I think the light switch is over there.
00:24:30 That's the radio.
00:24:33 It's like taking someone
00:24:36 (tuning radio)
00:24:41 (romantic music)
00:25:12 You're not giving yourself a chance.
00:25:15 Don't fight it.
00:25:18 Relaaaaax.
00:25:34 It's like smoking without inhaling.
00:25:36 So inhale!
00:25:42 ("Hernando's Hideaway")
00:26:01 - Daphne...
00:26:03 - You're leading again.
00:26:11 (romantic music)
00:26:19 Well?
00:26:23 I'm not quite sure.
00:26:25 Would you try it again?
00:26:37 I got a funny sensation in my toes.
00:26:42 Like someone was barbecuing them
00:26:46 Let's throw another log on the fire.
00:26:58 I think you're on the right track.
00:27:02 I must be. Your glasses
00:27:08 ("Hernando's Hideaway")
00:27:21 (romantic music)
00:27:30 I never knew it could be like this.
00:27:34 Thank you.
00:27:36 They told me I was kaput,
00:27:39 And here you are, making a chump
00:27:46 Mineral baths! Now, really!
00:27:48 Where did you learn to kiss like that?
00:27:52 I used to sell kisses for the Milk Fund.
00:28:05 Tomorrow, remind me to send
00:28:13 ("Hernando's Hideaway")
00:28:39 (all) Olé.
00:29:07 (drunkenly humming
00:29:15 Whoops!
00:29:44 Good night.
00:29:46 Good morning.
00:29:48 How much do I owe the Milk Fund so far?
00:29:50 $850,000.
00:29:53 Let's make it an even million.
00:30:16 I forgot to give you a receipt.
00:30:44 (humming "Hernando's Hideaway")
00:30:58 Olé.
00:31:00 Hi, Jerry. Everything under control?
00:31:02 Have I got things to tell you!
00:31:05 What happened?
00:31:07 I'm engaged.
00:31:08 Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
00:31:12 I am.
00:31:14 (humming)
00:31:18 What?!
00:31:20 Osgood proposed to me.
00:31:23 (humming)
00:31:26 What are you talking about?
00:31:30 Do you think he's too old for me?
00:31:32 Jerry, you can't be serious!
00:31:34 Why not? He keeps
00:31:38 But... But you're not a girl! You're a guy!
00:31:40 And why would a guy
00:31:43 Security!
00:31:45 - Jerry, lie down. You're not well!
00:31:49 - I'm not stupid! I know there's a problem!
00:31:53 His mother. We need her approval. But
00:32:00 - Jerry, there's another problem!
00:32:03 Like what are you gonna do
00:32:06 We've been discussing that.
00:32:08 He wants to go to the Riviera,
00:32:15 Jerry, you're outta your mind!
00:32:19 I don't expect it to last!
00:32:22 - Like when?
00:32:25 Then we get a quick annulment,
00:32:29 ...and I keep gettin' those
00:32:35 Jer... Jerry...
00:32:37 Jerry. Jerry, listen to me.
00:32:39 There are laws, conventions.
00:32:43 Shh! Joe, this may be my last chance
00:32:47 Jerry... Will you take my advice?
00:32:51 Just keep telling yourself you're a boy.
00:32:54 - You're a boy.
00:32:56 That's the boy.
00:32:58 Oh, I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy.
00:33:00 (sighs) I wish I were dead.
00:33:02 I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy!
00:33:05 Now what am I gonna do
00:33:08 - What engagement present?
00:33:13 Hey, these are real diamonds!
00:33:15 Of course they're real!
00:33:18 - I guess I'll have to give it back to him.
00:33:23 After all, we don't wanna
00:33:26 (knock on door)
00:33:28 (as Josephine) Just a minute!
00:33:30 It's me - Sugar!
00:33:39 Come in!
00:33:41 I thought I heard voices! I had to talk to
00:33:46 - What you need is a slug of bourbon!
00:33:50 Did you have a nice time?
00:33:52 Nice?
00:33:54 It was suicidally beautiful!
00:33:57 Did he get fresh?
00:33:59 Of course not! As a matter of fact,
00:34:03 - You see, he needs help.
00:34:05 Talk about elegant!
00:34:08 Candlelight, mint sauce and cranberries.
00:34:11 Gee, I wish I'd been there.
00:34:14 I'm going to see him again
00:34:17 I think he's going to propose to me.
00:34:19 - As soon as he gets up his nerve.
00:34:22 Daphne got a proposal tonight.
00:34:25 - Really?!
00:34:27 That's wonderful!
00:34:29 - Poor Josephine!
00:34:31 Well, Daphne has a beau, I have a beau...
00:34:34 If we could only find somebody for you!
00:34:38 Here I am, doll!
00:34:43 Ohhhh...
00:35:03 Hey!
00:35:07 "Friends of Italian Opera" - that's us!
00:35:10 Register over there.
00:35:21 Spats Colombo. Delegate from Chicago.
00:35:26 Thanks.
00:35:28 Hiya, Spats.
00:35:30 - We was layin' 8-1 you wouldn't show.
00:35:33 We thought you was all broken up
00:35:36 - We all gotta go sometime.
00:35:40 OK, Spats. Report to the sergeant at arms.
00:35:43 What for?
00:35:45 Orders from Little Bonaparte.
00:35:51 - All right, Spats, get your hands up.
00:35:55 Little Bonaparte don't want
00:35:58 All right, you're clean.
00:36:00 You're not!
00:36:12 It ain't loaded!
00:36:23 Next!
00:36:24 - What's in here?
00:36:26 Putter, niblick, No.3 iron.
00:36:30 - What's this?
00:36:38 See you at the banquet, Spats.
00:36:41 Where did you pick up that cheap trick?
00:36:44 Come on, boys.
00:36:48 Well! Spats Colombo, if I ever saw one.
00:36:50 Hello, copper.
00:36:53 I heard you opera-lovers were meetin'.
00:36:55 Thought I'd come in case
00:36:58 Big joke!
00:36:59 Where were you at 3pm
00:37:02 - I was at Rigoletto.
00:37:05 It's an opera, you ignoramus!
00:37:07 - Was it on in a garage on Clark Street?
00:37:11 Ever hear of Deluxe Cleaners
00:37:13 Why?
00:37:14 The day after the shoot
00:37:18 I cut myself while shaving.
00:37:20 - You shave with spats on?
00:37:23 You vulcanised Toothpick Charlie,
00:37:25 You and who else?
00:37:27 Me and those two witnesses your lawyers
00:37:31 Boys, know anything about
00:37:34 Us? We was with you at Rigoletto's.
00:37:37 Honest!
00:37:41 Don't worry, Spats. One of these days
00:37:45 That's what you'll have to do - dig 'em up!
00:37:57 I feel like such a tramp, taking jewellery
00:38:01 Get it while you're young. Better fix your
00:38:05 It'll break his heart when
00:38:08 It'll break Sugar's heart when
00:38:12 Can't make an omelette
00:38:14 - What's with the omelette?
00:38:17 We got a yacht, a bracelet, you've got
00:38:26 - Joe...
00:38:29 Something tells me the omelette
00:38:35 - Come on, Daphne.
00:38:41 - Going up!
00:38:52 Three, please.
00:39:04 I don't mean to be forward...
00:39:06 ...but ain't I had the pleasure
00:39:10 - Oh, no!
00:39:12 - You ever been in Chicago?
00:39:15 We wouldn't be caught dead in Chicago!
00:39:18 (operator) Third floor.
00:39:20 - What floor are you on, sweetie?
00:39:24 Room 413. We'll be in touch.
00:39:26 Well, don't call us. We'll call you.
00:39:41 I tell you, Joe, they're onto us.
00:39:43 They're gonna line us up
00:39:46 The cops will find two dead dames
00:39:50 ...and when they undress us,
00:39:53 - Shut up and keep packing!
00:39:56 - Not that, you idiot!
00:39:58 He wanted me to wear 'em tonight.
00:40:04 I tell you, I will never find
00:40:07 Joe, if we get outta this hotel alive,
00:40:12 ...grab a boat to South America
00:40:15 I figured if we eat nothing but bananas,
00:40:19 If we get outta the hotel alive.
00:40:21 - Did we forget anything?
00:40:25 - And also Sugar.
00:40:27 - Give me room 414.
00:40:29 - Making a telephone call.
00:40:31 We can't walk out on her
00:40:34 You usually walk out and leave 'em
00:40:37 That's when I was a saxophone player!
00:40:40 Mail her a postcard!
00:40:44 Room 414? This is
00:40:47 Ship to shore?!
00:40:48 Hey, Sugar, it's for you. From the yacht.
00:40:53 Hello?
00:40:56 (as Junior) Hello, my dearest darling.
00:41:00 (whispers) I may throw up!
00:41:03 No, I didn't sleep too well, darling.
00:41:05 To tell the truth, I never closed an eye.
00:41:08 I never slept better.
00:41:11 I was still on the yacht
00:41:14 We drifted for days and days.
00:41:16 You were the captain and I was the crew.
00:41:19 I kept a lookout for icebergs, I sorted
00:41:24 ...and I wiped the steam off your glasses.
00:41:27 And when I woke up, I wanted
00:41:32 Yes...
00:41:34 Now, about our date for tonight. Uh...
00:41:36 I'll meet you on the pier again
00:41:40 I'm afraid not. I can't make it tonight.
00:41:44 Not tomorrow either.
00:41:47 Something unexpected came up.
00:41:51 Where to?
00:41:54 South America?
00:41:56 Oh.
00:41:57 That is unexpected.
00:42:00 You see, we have
00:42:03 I just got a cable from Dad. The board
00:42:07 A merger? How long will you be gone?
00:42:13 Quite a while.
00:42:14 As a matter of fact,
00:42:17 You're not?
00:42:20 Well, it's all rather complicated.
00:42:24 It just so happens the president of the
00:42:28 Oh. That kind of merger.
00:42:31 What is she like?
00:42:33 According to our tax adviser,
00:42:36 But that's the way the oil gushes.
00:42:38 A man in my position
00:42:42 All those little people
00:42:45 Oh, of course. I understand.
00:42:48 At least, I think I do.
00:42:50 I knew you would. I only wish
00:42:54 ...I could do for you.
00:42:56 But you have! You've given me
00:43:00 First thing tomorrow
00:43:02 ...and have him buy me
00:43:05 Smart move.
00:43:08 By the way, did you get my flowers?
00:43:10 You know, those orchids
00:43:13 The fog finally lifted over Long Island
00:43:18 That's strange. I sent 'em to your room.
00:43:23 They should have been delivered by now.
00:43:29 Hey, Dolores, will you see
00:43:39 Yes, they're here! White orchids!
00:43:42 I haven't had white orchids
00:43:47 What's this?
00:43:50 What's what?
00:43:51 Oh, that. Just a little going-away present.
00:43:55 Real diamonds.
00:43:57 They must be worth their weight in gold.
00:44:00 Are you always this generous?
00:44:03 Not always.
00:44:05 I wanted you to know how very grateful
00:44:09 I didn't do anything. It just... happened.
00:44:14 Oh! The navigator just came in.
00:44:18 Well, anchors aweigh,
00:44:20 If you need an orchestra
00:44:23 ...we'll be through here
00:44:26 Goodbye, my darling.
00:44:27 I don't know about the captain but
00:44:32 - Yeah, let's shove off.
00:44:37 What happened to my bracelet?
00:44:39 Your bracelet? It's our bracelet!
00:44:41 All right. What happened to our bracelet?
00:44:44 - We did the right thing with it.
00:44:48 No tricks, no mirrors,
00:44:51 - It's on the level this time!
00:44:59 (tearfully) Where's that bourbon?
00:45:07 - What's the matter, Sugar?
00:45:13 How did you get that bracelet?!
00:45:15 - You like it?
00:45:17 Junior gave it to me. He's gone
00:45:21 - That's what you call high finance.
00:45:25 Sugar, if I were you, I'd take that bracelet
00:45:29 He's the first nice guy I've met in my life.
00:45:34 You'll forget him, Sugar.
00:45:37 How can I? No matter where I go, there'll
00:45:43 I'll bring this back when it's empty!
00:45:48 Are you crazy?! The place
00:45:52 ...and you're makin' like
00:45:54 How are we gonna get outta here?
00:45:57 - We'll walk. If we have to, we'll starve.
00:46:01 Not that way! We don't wanna
00:46:14 Your hands clean?
00:46:16 Over.
00:46:17 OK, button my spats.
00:46:22 You sure dress nice, boss!
00:46:24 Say, boss. I've been talking
00:46:27 The word is, Little Bonaparte is real sore
00:46:32 - Him and Charlie was choirboys together.
00:46:36 He even got Charlie's last toothpick
00:46:40 Like I was tellin' you fellas.
00:46:42 Little Bonaparte's gettin' soft.
00:46:46 He used to be like a rock.
00:46:48 It's too bad.
00:46:51 Second the motion.
00:46:53 How are we gonna retire him?
00:46:55 Oh, we'll think of somethin' cute.
00:46:57 Little Bonaparte and Toothpick Charlie
00:47:02 (thud)
00:47:04 (Spats) But this time
00:47:10 Look! The two broads from the elevator!
00:47:17 Hey! Join us!
00:47:20 What's the matter with those dames?
00:47:22 (Spats) Maybe those dames ain't dames!
00:47:28 Same faces, same instruments!
00:47:34 - And here's your Valentine's card!
00:47:38 They wouldn't be caught dead in Chicago
00:48:01 All right, so what do we do now?
00:48:03 The first thing we gotta do
00:48:15 Yoo-hoo!
00:49:45 What happened?
00:49:46 Me and Tiny had 'em cornered,
00:49:50 - Where were you guys?
00:49:53 - Why, you stupid idiot!
00:49:57 They can't be too far away.
00:50:01 (burst of applause)
00:50:19 - Thank you.
00:50:21 Thank you, fellow opera-lovers.
00:50:24 It's been ten years since I elected myself
00:50:28 ...and, if I say so myself,
00:50:31 (clapping)
00:50:34 Let's look at the record.
00:50:36 In the last fiscal year...
00:50:38 ...we made $112 million before taxes!
00:50:42 Only we ain't payin' no taxes.
00:50:47 Of course, like in every business,
00:50:53 Let us now rise and observe
00:50:55 ...in memory of seven of our members
00:51:00 ...who are unable to be with us tonight
00:51:09 You too, Spats.
00:51:11 Up!
00:51:23 Easy, now.
00:51:25 - You know when you come out?
00:51:28 For he's a jolly good fellow
00:51:32 OK.
00:51:38 And don't mess up the cake! I promised
00:51:50 Now, fellow delegates...
00:51:53 ...there comes a time in the life
00:51:56 ...when he starts thinkin' about retirement.
00:51:59 (outcry) No.
00:52:04 I'm lookin' around
00:52:07 I've been considerin' several candidates.
00:52:10 For instance, there's
00:52:14 ...South Side Chapter.
00:52:18 Now, some people say...
00:52:20 ...he's gotten a little too big
00:52:24 But I say... he's a man who'll go far.
00:52:27 Some people say...
00:52:29 ...he's gone too far!
00:52:31 But I say...
00:52:34 ...you can't keep a good man down!
00:52:36 Of course, he's still got a lot to learn.
00:52:39 The big noise he made
00:52:42 ...that wasn't very good
00:52:45 And lettin' them two witnesses get away...
00:52:51 Don't worry about those two.
00:52:54 I almost caught up with them today.
00:52:57 You mean... you let 'em get away...
00:52:59 ...twice?!
00:53:01 Some people would say
00:53:03 But I say: to err is human,
00:53:08 And just to show you
00:53:11 ...the boys told me
00:53:14 So we baked you a little cake.
00:53:16 My birthday?
00:53:18 Why, it ain't for another four months.
00:53:20 So we're a little early!
00:53:23 So what's a few months between friends?
00:53:25 All right, boys. Now all together.
00:53:27 For he's a jolly good fellow
00:53:30 For he's a jolly good fellow
00:53:33 For he's a jolly good fellow
00:53:37 Which nobody can deny
00:53:39 Which nobody can deny
00:53:42 Which nobody can deny
00:53:44 For he's a jolly good fellow
00:53:47 For he's a jolly good fellow
00:53:49 For he's a jolly good fellow
00:53:53 Which nobody can deny!
00:54:11 Big joke.
00:54:13 (blast of gunfire)
00:54:20 (whispers) Let's get outta here!
00:54:25 Get those two guys!
00:54:34 What happened here?
00:54:36 There was somethin' in that cake
00:54:40 (scattered laughter)
00:54:41 My compliments to the chef.
00:54:44 Nobody leaves this room
00:54:47 You wanna make a federal case of it?
00:54:54 Yeah!
00:55:22 They slipped through our hands.
00:55:24 Our guys are watchin' the train station,
00:55:29 - Did you hear that?!
00:55:32 - You're gonna call Osgood.
00:55:35 - Tell him you're gonna elope with him.
00:55:38 Elope?! But there are laws, conventions!
00:55:41 There's a convention, all right.
00:55:50 (Sugar) I'm through with love
00:55:53 I'll never fall again
00:55:55 Said adieu to love
00:55:58 Don't ever call again
00:56:01 For I must have you
00:56:03 Or no one
00:56:06 And so I'm through with love
00:56:11 I've locked my heart
00:56:13 I'll keep my feelings there
00:56:16 I've stocked my heart with icy, frigid air
00:56:21 And I mean to care for no one
00:56:26 Because I'm through with love
00:56:31 Why did you lead me
00:56:36 You didn't need me, you had your share
00:56:41 Of slaves around you
00:56:46 With deep emotion, devotion to you
00:56:51 Goodbye to spring
00:56:56 It can never bring
00:57:00 For I must have you or no one
00:57:06 And so I'm through with love
00:57:11 And... so I'm through...
00:57:16 with...
00:57:18 Baby, I'm through with love
00:57:24 (band continues playing)
00:57:47 Josephine!
00:57:50 BIENSTOCK!
00:57:53 Hey! That's no dame!
00:57:56 None of that, Sugar.
00:57:58 No guy is worth it.
00:58:00 (running)
00:58:03 - Grab her!
00:58:09 Josephine?
00:58:16 It's all set. Osgood's
00:58:18 - We're not on the pier yet!
00:58:22 (women scream)
00:58:49 (woman shrieks)
00:59:11 Hi!
00:59:12 My friend Josephine -
00:59:15 - Pleased to meet you!
00:59:17 She's so eager!
00:59:26 (bicycle horn)
00:59:33 Wait! Wait for Sugar!
00:59:40 - Another bridesmaid?
00:59:42 - Sugar, what do you think you're doing?
00:59:47 Let's go!
00:59:51 You don't want me, Sugar.
00:59:53 I'm a liar and a phoney.
00:59:55 One of those no-goodniks
00:59:58 I know - every time.
01:00:00 Sugar, do yourself a favour.
01:00:03 The sweet end of the lollipop...
01:00:05 ...not the coleslaw in the face
01:00:09 That's right, pour it on. Talk me out of it.
01:00:17 I called Mama.
01:00:19 She wants you to have
01:00:23 Osgood, I can't get married
01:00:26 Uh... She and I...
01:00:28 ...we are not built the same way.
01:00:30 - We can have it altered.
01:00:34 Osgood, I'm gonna level with you.
01:00:38 Why not?
01:00:39 Well...
01:00:41 In the first place,
01:00:44 Doesn't matter.
01:00:45 I smoke! I smoke all the time!
01:00:47 I don't care.
01:00:49 I have a terrible past! For three years now
01:00:54 I forgive you.
01:00:57 I can never have children!
01:01:00 We can adopt some.
01:01:02 But you don't understand, Osgood!
01:01:04 Aw...
01:01:06 I'm a man!
01:01:08 Well... nobody's perfect.
01:01:11 Fixed By Geniuses Group