Someone Like You
|
00:00:45 |
[Woman Narrating] If someone |
00:00:48 |
why I thought it was that men |
00:00:52 |
I would have said this: |
00:00:54 |
"New cow. " |
00:00:56 |
The new cow theory |
00:01:01 |
It came to me while reading |
00:01:04 |
in the New York Times |
00:01:06 |
which chronicled a particularly |
00:01:09 |
on the mating preferences |
00:01:14 |
- First, a bull was presented with... |
00:01:18 |
A cow. |
00:01:21 |
They mated. |
00:01:26 |
The next day, the bull was |
00:01:31 |
[Yawns] |
00:01:33 |
The bull wasn't interested. |
00:01:35 |
He wanted new cow, |
00:01:37 |
and this was old cow. |
00:01:44 |
Curious to see if |
00:01:47 |
the scientists came up |
00:01:50 |
- Do not disappoint Daddy. |
00:01:55 |
- Doesn't that feel good? |
00:01:59 |
This wasn't new cow. |
00:02:01 |
This was just old cow |
00:02:04 |
Old cow in sheep's clothing. |
00:02:07 |
- Mutton dressed as lamb. |
00:02:11 |
[Car Horns Honking] |
00:02:16 |
But I'm getting |
00:02:19 |
To really understand the theory and |
00:02:23 |
you need to hear |
00:02:27 |
When Ray came into my life, |
00:02:29 |
I was booking talent |
00:02:32 |
a local New York talk show that |
00:02:36 |
The network had given us |
00:02:39 |
in which to make something |
00:02:41 |
We're back with |
00:02:43 |
outspoken |
00:02:45 |
who's here to talk about |
00:02:49 |
One of your central arguments, |
00:02:52 |
is to blame society's problems |
00:02:56 |
[Narrator] Diane was determined to |
00:02:59 |
by appealing to both their |
00:03:03 |
and their overstimulated appetite |
00:03:06 |
Ambition has blinded |
00:03:09 |
- to their responsibilities to their families. |
00:03:11 |
doing what I do makes me |
00:03:16 |
Well, we make |
00:03:18 |
That is true. |
00:03:22 |
who's been |
00:03:24 |
while you've been out selling |
00:03:27 |
[Narrator] My job was to supply |
00:03:31 |
to satisfy Diane's |
00:03:34 |
Hi, Donald. Did you hear? |
00:03:36 |
Thanks. |
00:03:38 |
We're just starting up |
00:03:40 |
and I think it's |
00:03:42 |
Oh, she'd be among the first. I'm lining up |
00:03:46 |
[Narrator] |
00:03:48 |
was our writer, producer and |
00:03:52 |
[Whispering] |
00:03:54 |
Publisher's having a coronary. |
00:03:56 |
- That good, huh? |
00:03:58 |
Right on. Yeah. |
00:04:01 |
Thank you very much. We are |
00:04:04 |
Any progress with Cuba? |
00:04:07 |
Well, just keep trying. |
00:04:09 |
This Castro thing is gonna kill me. |
00:04:12 |
- She will not let it go. |
00:04:15 |
- I mean, what you want is a more creative angle. |
00:04:18 |
- Elena Villagolla. |
00:04:21 |
One of the women the C.I.A. Hired to |
00:04:25 |
Excuse me. I believe this is |
00:04:28 |
Blow me. Apparently, the C.I.A. Cooked up |
00:04:34 |
The idea was she'd rub it on, Castro |
00:04:37 |
- Don't editorialize. |
00:04:41 |
[Narrator] Eddie could find the sex |
00:04:45 |
He, of course, |
00:04:48 |
- Nina, you left these earrings in my bathroom. |
00:04:52 |
- Cynic. |
00:04:54 |
[Narrator] But if Eddie was enough |
00:04:58 |
it only took one |
00:05:00 |
- Hey, Rick. |
00:05:02 |
You are the only one I |
00:05:04 |
[Birds Chirping] |
00:05:07 |
- [Eddie] This is our new executive |
00:05:10 |
I saw that piece you produced |
00:05:15 |
Wow. |
00:05:17 |
We just did a follow-up piece. That's |
00:05:19 |
- Oh. |
00:05:22 |
Jane, you want me to get 'em to turn the |
00:05:26 |
Okay. |
00:05:30 |
- Jane Goodale. |
00:05:33 |
- People must confuse you with the scientist. |
00:05:36 |
- They're always asking me if I'm into chimps. |
00:05:39 |
Not really. I mean, maybe |
00:05:42 |
Ah. Curious George |
00:05:45 |
- A man who knows his primates. |
00:05:48 |
See you around. Oh, I heard Len Chaney's |
00:05:52 |
Yeah, they're afraid it's gonna turn |
00:05:55 |
Which is, uh, right. |
00:05:57 |
- Of course. - So |
00:06:00 |
and we'll plant somebody in the |
00:06:03 |
I think you came to the |
00:06:09 |
- [Woman] So he's |
00:06:11 |
Mm-hmm. |
00:06:14 |
Pale blue eyes, athletic, sort |
00:06:18 |
- Oh, that guy again. |
00:06:22 |
- Sh-Shush! I'm |
00:06:25 |
- Marital status? |
00:06:28 |
Why are we having |
00:06:30 |
You know what? You're |
00:06:32 |
And even if I were up to it, |
00:06:34 |
he'd probably end up |
00:06:37 |
Wow. There's the cynical bitch |
00:06:41 |
So that's it. Case closed. |
00:06:44 |
You feeling carnivorous? |
00:06:46 |
Absolutely. |
00:06:52 |
So what else do I need |
00:06:54 |
apart from your addiction |
00:06:57 |
much to the chagrin |
00:07:01 |
"D." |
00:07:03 |
- Whom you've been dating now for... |
00:07:07 |
Three... |
00:07:09 |
Excuse me. Three years. |
00:07:13 |
Huh. |
00:07:16 |
would've guessed, |
00:07:20 |
I guess it is. |
00:07:22 |
You think you ever get to the moment |
00:07:27 |
That's it. |
00:07:30 |
That's the person you're |
00:07:36 |
Probably. |
00:07:39 |
[Jane Narrating] |
00:07:43 |
- It's me! |
00:07:46 |
What's the problem? |
00:07:48 |
- Don't rush me. |
00:07:51 |
Dr. Lipshick started your sister |
00:07:53 |
- Of orange juice? |
00:07:57 |
The orange is for practice. |
00:08:01 |
For God's sake, Stephen, if you |
00:08:03 |
- How are you gonna stick it in my ass? |
00:08:05 |
If this isn't done right, we |
00:08:12 |
Oh! |
00:08:15 |
That was supposed |
00:08:18 |
I just wanted to show you |
00:08:20 |
You know, this is |
00:08:22 |
and you're sucking the romance |
00:08:26 |
Oh, come on, sweetheart. I think we've |
00:08:29 |
when you started jacking off |
00:08:32 |
Leave my sperm count |
00:08:36 |
Chubby Hubby? |
00:08:39 |
Come on, sweetie. I'll look at the |
00:08:43 |
I don't think you should... |
00:08:49 |
That's great. Just great. |
00:08:52 |
Very nice, Nina. |
00:08:55 |
At least one of us is. |
00:08:57 |
Good morning. |
00:08:59 |
Don't bother, Eddie. |
00:09:03 |
Hey, you're always complaining |
00:09:06 |
Why don't you |
00:09:08 |
- You cannot be serious. |
00:09:10 |
Come on. All I'm meeting |
00:09:13 |
- I'd much rather have someone like you. |
00:09:15 |
No, hey. This would be |
00:09:18 |
I've got no interest in you |
00:09:20 |
- What a relief. |
00:09:23 |
Actually, it's a "Thanks, but not |
00:09:28 |
#In the dark # |
00:09:30 |
#I can hear # |
00:09:33 |
# You whisper # |
00:09:38 |
- [Telephone Ringing] |
00:09:41 |
#Move across # |
00:09:44 |
# The distance # |
00:09:47 |
- Hello. |
00:09:51 |
# What did you say # |
00:09:53 |
#It's okay # |
00:09:58 |
#Mm-hmm # |
00:10:00 |
#Did you miss me # |
00:10:05 |
#Did you miss me # |
00:10:10 |
#Make it mine # |
00:10:13 |
# Takin' time # |
00:10:15 |
- What? |
00:10:19 |
I was just gonna... |
00:10:22 |
I can't speak. |
00:10:25 |
No, no, no, don't. |
00:10:31 |
Not at all. |
00:10:37 |
I was just thinking how good |
00:10:42 |
#Did you miss me # |
00:10:48 |
#Did you miss me # |
00:10:55 |
# You know |
00:10:57 |
#If you ever thought of me # |
00:11:00 |
#And I wonder if you |
00:11:06 |
#[Indistinct] ## |
00:11:12 |
Let's start again. |
00:11:15 |
- Right. |
00:11:17 |
- A Tweety Bird and a Road Runner, I think. |
00:11:20 |
- Right. |
00:11:22 |
We had to get ready for work, so I |
00:11:26 |
- Morning, Jane. |
00:11:28 |
- Big finale-type kiss |
00:11:32 |
That's good, good, good. |
00:11:34 |
- Considering what? |
00:11:38 |
I told you, Liz, |
00:11:42 |
- They're not engaged. |
00:11:45 |
Nevertheless, he does sound like an |
00:11:49 |
Pretend she doesn't exist. |
00:11:53 |
If he mentions her, you just |
00:11:55 |
- Why? |
00:11:57 |
he's gonna feel |
00:11:59 |
This way, it's like, |
00:12:01 |
No pressure. |
00:12:03 |
- It's gonna drive him nuts. |
00:12:07 |
Snagmen. Com. |
00:12:10 |
- Odd. |
00:12:12 |
23-year-old women |
00:12:15 |
so excuse me, Miss "I have a |
00:12:19 |
You gotta get on your game. |
00:12:21 |
You know what I really need to |
00:12:24 |
when I see him in my staff |
00:12:26 |
That's easy. |
00:12:32 |
Well, good morning, Eddie. |
00:12:40 |
- What is on your neck? |
00:12:43 |
Isn't that why God |
00:12:46 |
- No. That's why God invented Darlene. |
00:12:51 |
- Hey, Eddie. Hi, Jane. |
00:12:53 |
Hey, Ray. Mornin'. |
00:13:00 |
You okay? |
00:13:02 |
[Woman] |
00:13:04 |
Straw. Mmm. |
00:13:07 |
- Okay. I'm late, I know. I'm sorry. |
00:13:10 |
I locked myself out of the apartment. |
00:13:13 |
The only reason |
00:13:15 |
is because of Habib, the nicest |
00:13:19 |
Okay, now, who saw |
00:13:22 |
I think a lot of us |
00:13:25 |
There's a big story on how single |
00:13:28 |
Ray, where are we |
00:13:30 |
- The web site should be up and running on Monday. |
00:13:34 |
Will be! |
00:13:37 |
on the pissant advertising budget |
00:13:39 |
We need to be |
00:13:42 |
and we need to make |
00:13:45 |
- Remember, it is all |
00:13:50 |
We cannot make a splash |
00:13:53 |
the gets that everybody's |
00:13:55 |
- I need the ungettable get, got it? |
00:13:58 |
Good. |
00:14:00 |
Okay, where are we |
00:14:02 |
Uh, well, |
00:14:06 |
his, um, |
00:14:08 |
who assured me |
00:14:10 |
el presidente was back |
00:14:16 |
she would |
00:14:18 |
And what did she say? |
00:14:20 |
Did she discuss |
00:14:21 |
Tell me, do you think |
00:14:24 |
- Jane? |
00:14:28 |
I said what do you think your |
00:14:33 |
I think they're good, Diane. |
00:14:35 |
I think they're very good. |
00:14:37 |
[Birds Chirping] |
00:14:50 |
[Clattering] |
00:15:12 |
Uh, j-just a minute. |
00:15:32 |
Sorry. |
00:15:35 |
I thought I'd just, um, |
00:16:00 |
Joy: The emotion evoked by the |
00:16:05 |
[Grunting] |
00:16:07 |
Rapture: The experience |
00:16:10 |
by an overwhelming |
00:16:19 |
Ecstasy: A state of being |
00:16:23 |
[Gasping] |
00:16:26 |
[Ray] |
00:16:28 |
- Tell me again what we're doing here, please. |
00:16:31 |
- Oh, right. |
00:16:34 |
Hey, that's a good idea. |
00:16:36 |
- Blue? |
00:16:38 |
This one's pretty. |
00:16:41 |
- You think? |
00:16:43 |
Could be risky, given your |
00:16:46 |
Well... |
00:16:51 |
- I love it. We'll take this one. |
00:16:53 |
- No, no, no. No, Jane. |
00:16:56 |
- Let me buy you a shirt. |
00:17:00 |
- Hey, guys. |
00:17:04 |
Wow. We were... |
00:17:06 |
- She's helping me pick out a shirt. |
00:17:09 |
- Well, I didn't mean to intrude. |
00:17:11 |
- Not at all. Please! |
00:17:15 |
Listen, |
00:17:17 |
- I gotta hit this... Great running into you. |
00:17:20 |
- Both of you. My God! I can't even... |
00:17:22 |
- All right. - |
00:17:25 |
What a coincidence. First I run |
00:17:30 |
I didn't even know he lived |
00:17:32 |
All of a sudden, there he is. |
00:17:36 |
Wha... Okay, so I am |
00:17:40 |
Eddie, if you tell anyone at |
00:17:44 |
What are you thinking? |
00:17:46 |
I'm... I'm thinking |
00:17:50 |
that you and Ray are gonna |
00:17:53 |
with matching Volvos |
00:17:55 |
See you Monday. |
00:17:57 |
Did you have |
00:18:00 |
Better hurry. I think he's |
00:18:06 |
#And I never thought |
00:18:10 |
# The way I feel about you # |
00:18:20 |
#Soon as I wake up |
00:18:23 |
#Every day # |
00:18:26 |
#I know that it's you I need # |
00:18:29 |
# To take the blues away # |
00:18:33 |
#It must be love |
00:18:38 |
#It must be love |
00:18:42 |
#Nothing more |
00:18:45 |
#Love is the best # |
00:18:49 |
#How can it be |
00:18:52 |
#Say so much |
00:18:59 |
[Bells Chiming] |
00:19:23 |
I love you, Jane. |
00:19:31 |
I love you too. |
00:19:40 |
[Jane] He just came right out and |
00:19:44 |
Oh, my God. Takes most guys |
00:19:48 |
When they finally do, |
00:19:50 |
on top of you, |
00:19:53 |
- What about the "D" woman? |
00:19:57 |
- Why didn't he tell her already? |
00:20:00 |
Anyhow, if he were |
00:20:03 |
I hardly think he would've |
00:20:05 |
He asked you to live with him? |
00:20:06 |
He asked you to live with him? |
00:20:08 |
- What did you say? |
00:20:12 |
because he started calling realtors, |
00:20:15 |
Ohh! Mazel tov! |
00:20:19 |
Oh, I can't believe this! |
00:20:22 |
You're getting asked |
00:20:24 |
and I'm still on |
00:20:28 |
I take it last night |
00:20:30 |
Awful. Do me a favor. Next |
00:20:34 |
with one of his straight friends, |
00:20:37 |
I'm in a sad state. |
00:20:39 |
And I'm telling you, |
00:20:43 |
H- Hello? |
00:20:45 |
- I didn't mean to intrude. |
00:20:47 |
Didn't you want to see |
00:20:49 |
Isn't it just wonderful? |
00:20:52 |
It's just spectacular. |
00:20:55 |
Right down |
00:21:05 |
It's such a jewel box. |
00:21:09 |
I guess I'll leave you two alone |
00:21:15 |
- Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. |
00:21:18 |
It's amazing. The light |
00:21:25 |
I don't know. |
00:21:30 |
Liz, I gotta go. |
00:21:33 |
Oh, my God. He looks like |
00:21:35 |
I'll call you back. |
00:21:40 |
I feel like I've been |
00:21:42 |
You told her? |
00:21:48 |
Was it bad? |
00:21:50 |
Not like I thought. |
00:21:52 |
I mean, she, uh... She didn't go |
00:21:58 |
She just, uh, |
00:22:01 |
you know, eerily calm |
00:22:04 |
- Well, that's good, right? |
00:22:07 |
I just meant, |
00:22:09 |
it wasn't what I expected |
00:22:13 |
- What'd she say about us? |
00:22:17 |
I |
00:22:21 |
I mean, to hit her |
00:22:23 |
after three years, |
00:22:27 |
I just told her |
00:22:30 |
You know? And I think |
00:22:32 |
- Right? |
00:22:36 |
- And she was okay with that? |
00:22:38 |
I don't know. It was so... |
00:22:40 |
I mean, she just kinda... |
00:22:44 |
You know, she just |
00:22:47 |
I mean, |
00:22:50 |
She's upset, |
00:22:52 |
She's gotta be upset. |
00:22:55 |
She just didn't seem |
00:23:00 |
- Well, you're okay with it, right? |
00:23:05 |
- I mean, you're happy. |
00:23:09 |
I am so happy. |
00:23:13 |
I mean, there's nothing |
00:23:15 |
and that's... that's what I |
00:23:23 |
[Jane Narrating] |
00:23:27 |
Slowly and kind of subtly. |
00:23:31 |
Single pane, |
00:23:34 |
- [Realtor] Single |
00:23:36 |
A lot more sun, I guess, |
00:23:39 |
This doesn't open? Oh! |
00:23:44 |
[Jane Narrating] |
00:23:46 |
- [Answering Machine Beeps] |
00:23:48 |
It's me again. |
00:23:51 |
and she said that we have |
00:23:54 |
I know you wanted your lawyer to have |
00:23:57 |
but my apartment's been re-rented, |
00:24:00 |
[Beeps] |
00:24:09 |
He is not sleeping with somebody |
00:24:12 |
First of all, |
00:24:14 |
And second of all, the poor guy |
00:24:16 |
He's been working until 3:00 in |
00:24:18 |
Okay, A: There's no such thing as a guy |
00:24:21 |
They always have time for that. And |
00:24:24 |
he ain't sleepin' alone. |
00:24:27 |
Right? |
00:24:29 |
Listen, you gotta talk to him. |
00:24:34 |
Sorry. |
00:24:40 |
[TV Narrator] Throughout the animal |
00:24:43 |
a wide variety |
00:24:47 |
Freezing is a common response |
00:24:50 |
Sensing danger, many animals will |
00:24:56 |
Fleeing is another |
00:24:59 |
Some species will simply |
00:25:03 |
while others take |
00:25:05 |
in the hopes that sudden direction |
00:25:10 |
causing her |
00:25:14 |
Smell the bacon, Jane? |
00:25:16 |
[Cow Moos] |
00:25:21 |
I'm wondering |
00:25:24 |
we haven't been alone |
00:25:26 |
We lost that great apartment... |
00:25:29 |
because your lawyer supposedly |
00:25:32 |
which is okay, |
00:25:34 |
But as of Saturday, |
00:25:36 |
Ray, what the hell's going on? |
00:25:41 |
I don't think I can do this. |
00:25:43 |
Do what? |
00:25:46 |
This. Us. |
00:25:50 |
What? |
00:25:54 |
Why? |
00:25:56 |
- I don't know. |
00:26:01 |
There has to be a reason. |
00:26:04 |
Jane, I'm sorry. L-I... |
00:26:07 |
and I don't think |
00:26:09 |
I thought we... |
00:26:15 |
Incredibly lucky to have... |
00:26:18 |
- found th-the thing. |
00:26:22 |
- [Waitress] And |
00:26:29 |
I... |
00:26:31 |
I just think that we both |
00:26:38 |
I mean we're talking about |
00:26:43 |
L- I just wanted... |
00:26:50 |
I don't even know |
00:26:52 |
I feel like... such a jerk, |
00:26:56 |
you know, believing |
00:26:59 |
Listen to me. |
00:27:03 |
I... want us to be |
00:27:06 |
Please don't do that. |
00:27:17 |
Please go. |
00:27:45 |
[Jane Narrating] There are few |
00:27:49 |
than watching someone walk |
00:27:53 |
watching the distance |
00:27:57 |
until there's nothing |
00:28:01 |
and silence. |
00:28:09 |
Remember, |
00:28:12 |
time wounds all heels. |
00:28:15 |
[Chuckles] |
00:28:22 |
[Phone Ringing] |
00:28:24 |
Eddie Alden. |
00:28:28 |
Hi. |
00:28:32 |
Are you all right? |
00:28:34 |
Why? |
00:28:38 |
- You look like you hate my guts. |
00:28:42 |
That's nice. |
00:28:45 |
I don't blame you, |
00:28:47 |
For what it's worth, this |
00:28:49 |
Oh, yeah, you look |
00:28:52 |
- Hey. |
00:28:54 |
Eddie, did you by any chance |
00:28:59 |
Well, no, actually. |
00:29:02 |
Because the place I was supposed to |
00:29:05 |
and my apartment's |
00:29:08 |
and I was wondering |
00:29:10 |
- Y-You're moving in with Eddie? |
00:29:12 |
- What's the apartment like? |
00:29:15 |
Just a two-bedroom loft, big |
00:29:19 |
Sounds amazing. |
00:29:22 |
- You're moving in with Eddie. |
00:29:25 |
Perfect. |
00:29:32 |
Hey. |
00:29:36 |
- You okay? |
00:29:45 |
- Here it is. |
00:29:48 |
Yup. Kitchen, living room, |
00:29:53 |
Uh, my bedroom, bathroom. |
00:29:56 |
This would be your room. |
00:30:02 |
What happened here? |
00:30:04 |
Yeah, I got the urge to renovate |
00:30:07 |
I'd have it fixed |
00:30:09 |
- You want a drink? |
00:30:13 |
We don't have to share |
00:30:15 |
Oh, no, I never, |
00:30:19 |
So how'd you find |
00:30:21 |
My ex-girlfriend worked |
00:30:25 |
Whenever someone croaked, she'd check out |
00:30:28 |
Eventually, we got lucky. |
00:30:30 |
You lived with somebody? |
00:30:33 |
- Yeah. |
00:30:36 |
For... a while. |
00:30:38 |
- So what do you think? |
00:30:43 |
# They say you stand # |
00:30:46 |
#By your man # |
00:30:48 |
# Tell me something # |
00:30:50 |
#I don't understand # |
00:30:53 |
# You said you loved me |
00:30:57 |
- Hey! |
00:31:00 |
Shit. |
00:31:02 |
# Well, some days |
00:31:06 |
#But the heartache's with me |
00:31:13 |
#Did you stand by me # |
00:31:15 |
#No, not at all # |
00:31:18 |
#Did you stand by me # |
00:31:20 |
#No way # |
00:31:27 |
#All the times # |
00:31:29 |
# That we were close # |
00:31:31 |
#I remember # |
00:31:33 |
# These things the most # |
00:31:36 |
#I've seen all my dreams |
00:31:40 |
#I can't be happy # |
00:31:42 |
# Without you around # |
00:31:45 |
#So alone I keep |
00:31:49 |
#And there's only |
00:31:56 |
# You didn't stand by me # |
00:31:58 |
#No, not at all # |
00:32:01 |
# You didn't stand by me # |
00:32:03 |
#No way # |
00:32:05 |
# You didn't stand by me |
00:32:10 |
# You didn't stand by me # |
00:32:12 |
#No way ## |
00:32:15 |
Morphine for the pain. |
00:32:21 |
[Raining, Thunder Rumbling] |
00:32:33 |
Hey. |
00:32:37 |
It was right after |
00:32:40 |
[Rumbling Continues] |
00:32:46 |
I just took an ax |
00:32:51 |
So I thought |
00:32:53 |
might make it easier |
00:32:57 |
I don't smoke. |
00:33:11 |
[Coughing] |
00:33:14 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. |
00:33:16 |
[Continues Coughing] |
00:33:18 |
You okay? |
00:33:22 |
Oh, yeah. |
00:33:27 |
What was her name? |
00:33:34 |
Rebecca. |
00:33:40 |
Put your shoes on. |
00:33:42 |
- What's downstairs? |
00:33:47 |
[Coughing] |
00:33:49 |
[Jane] |
00:33:51 |
First, we're in love, |
00:33:57 |
And then poof! |
00:33:59 |
Doesn't work for me |
00:34:01 |
- How is that possible? |
00:34:05 |
Romance, true love, |
00:34:09 |
it's all bullshit. |
00:34:11 |
None of it exists. |
00:34:13 |
Trust me. |
00:34:18 |
Man, she really did a |
00:34:23 |
Well, don't shit |
00:34:25 |
just because you converted to some |
00:34:30 |
Oh, man! Whoo! |
00:34:33 |
It's called |
00:34:35 |
Oh, in other words, you narcotize |
00:34:39 |
No, no, no. See, that implies |
00:34:42 |
when, in fact, I embrace it. |
00:34:46 |
Don't underestimate |
00:34:49 |
- It's very liberating. |
00:34:58 |
I almost feel sorry for her. |
00:35:01 |
What for? |
00:35:03 |
I make no pretenses, okay? |
00:35:05 |
Now, if she wants to put me up |
00:35:07 |
that's her choice. |
00:35:10 |
We're all |
00:35:13 |
# You know I love you, baby # |
00:35:17 |
#And I don't want |
00:35:23 |
#I can't help wonderin' if I ## |
00:35:28 |
[Jane Narrating] I lay awake that |
00:35:32 |
Guys like Ray who blinded you |
00:35:38 |
or the Eddies of the world |
00:35:42 |
- [Gasps] |
00:35:45 |
And in the end, |
00:35:47 |
The truth was, they were all |
00:35:52 |
- But the question remained. |
00:35:55 |
Why? |
00:35:57 |
And then |
00:36:00 |
I found my answer. |
00:36:03 |
Holy shit! |
00:36:07 |
- [Slap] |
00:36:09 |
I told them dumb asses |
00:36:12 |
You can't fool a bull, mister. |
00:36:15 |
He knows where he's been, |
00:36:18 |
Hell, I got... |
00:36:21 |
Only one of 'em got nads. |
00:36:23 |
Why? 'Cause that one son of a bitch |
00:36:28 |
But once he's done, |
00:36:32 |
I gotta go over to Ed |
00:36:34 |
and trade him for a new one... |
00:36:36 |
'cause there ain't |
00:36:38 |
he's ever gonna touch |
00:36:41 |
- I figured it out. I'm the old cow. |
00:36:46 |
Remember a couple weeks ago when we were |
00:36:50 |
- " Baby, I love the toilet you sit on"? |
00:36:52 |
"I'm tired of banging |
00:36:54 |
We thought there might |
00:36:56 |
- like it could be a window into their dark... |
00:37:00 |
Well, it is. |
00:37:02 |
and "I'm tired of banging |
00:37:04 |
same thing. |
00:37:06 |
This is why |
00:37:08 |
Sooner or later, |
00:37:11 |
We're identified |
00:37:14 |
so they wanna move on |
00:37:17 |
- The whole novelty thing, you mean. |
00:37:21 |
- What do you think? |
00:37:24 |
it's always about you, |
00:37:27 |
You fall for some guy, and it's like |
00:37:31 |
You get dumped and suddenly they're |
00:37:34 |
I'm sorry, Jane. The entire |
00:37:37 |
your romantic status. |
00:37:45 |
You're in love. |
00:37:48 |
I'm almost in love. |
00:37:50 |
Oh, honey, |
00:37:56 |
You're having a spectacular |
00:37:59 |
- Oh, my God! |
00:38:05 |
Just incredible. |
00:38:08 |
And I'm so... |
00:38:11 |
[Jane Narrating] Although I |
00:38:14 |
over her seeming good fortune, |
00:38:16 |
I refused to be derailed. |
00:38:18 |
Now armed with |
00:38:22 |
I became voracious |
00:38:53 |
What are you doing? |
00:38:55 |
Nothin'. |
00:38:58 |
- Hey! Eddie! |
00:39:00 |
"Amygdala, |
00:39:03 |
- Give it back! |
00:39:07 |
"which connects smells |
00:39:09 |
"Banana slugs, |
00:39:15 |
While mating, the males |
00:39:26 |
I worry about you, Jane. |
00:39:52 |
[Jane Narrating] |
00:39:54 |
there was |
00:39:58 |
[Jane] I want my |
00:40:00 |
I beg your pardon? |
00:40:03 |
My amygdala, the organ |
00:40:06 |
which processes scent, |
00:40:10 |
I'd like it extracted. |
00:40:12 |
But why would you want to |
00:40:15 |
Well, let me see |
00:40:18 |
Um, I had this |
00:40:20 |
And he smelled really, |
00:40:25 |
and fresh laundry |
00:40:30 |
And every time I smell |
00:40:32 |
I'm reminded of my boyfriend |
00:40:36 |
before he dumped me |
00:40:38 |
And I get very sad, |
00:40:42 |
And then before I know it, I am in the |
00:40:47 |
And so I was |
00:40:50 |
if I can just short-circuit |
00:40:53 |
I might actually have a chance of |
00:40:57 |
- [Bell Dings] |
00:41:44 |
Couldn't sleep? |
00:41:46 |
- No. |
00:41:49 |
[Sighs] Does that happen to you a lot? |
00:41:52 |
Yeah. |
00:41:56 |
Me too. |
00:41:59 |
Mmm. |
00:42:14 |
- Just like eating worms. |
00:42:24 |
Talent. Mmm. |
00:42:27 |
Here. |
00:42:31 |
Head back. |
00:42:40 |
- Yeah? |
00:42:42 |
Good. |
00:42:49 |
Cold dumplings. |
00:42:52 |
Way to go, Tomcat. |
00:42:57 |
Tomcat? |
00:42:59 |
Cheerleader. |
00:43:01 |
A what? |
00:43:03 |
I was a cheerleader. |
00:43:05 |
- You were a cheerleader? |
00:43:08 |
Paul G. Blazer Memorial High. Pride and |
00:43:12 |
- Go, Cats. |
00:43:15 |
Well, show me. |
00:43:17 |
- No. No! |
00:43:19 |
I just haven't done it |
00:43:21 |
- You come on. Show me. |
00:43:25 |
Like, uh, like, like... |
00:43:28 |
Like three dumplings, |
00:43:31 |
- You can't do that. |
00:43:33 |
Deal. |
00:43:35 |
One, two, three. |
00:43:39 |
Like that? |
00:43:41 |
Come on. Come on. |
00:43:44 |
Come on. |
00:43:46 |
- You promise not to laugh? |
00:44:00 |
- What are those? |
00:44:04 |
Okay. |
00:44:06 |
I hate you. |
00:44:09 |
It's okay. |
00:44:15 |
Ready? Okay! |
00:44:18 |
The Tomcats are here... |
00:44:21 |
to show... |
00:44:23 |
Whoa. |
00:44:31 |
Ready? Okay! |
00:44:33 |
The Tomcats are here... |
00:44:35 |
to show who's top. |
00:44:38 |
You think can beat us... |
00:44:40 |
but we can't be stopped! |
00:44:43 |
Go, Tomcats! |
00:44:45 |
- Whoo! First and ten and... |
00:44:51 |
Oh. Oh, sh... Um... |
00:44:53 |
Oh, hey, hey. |
00:44:55 |
- Um... |
00:45:00 |
Roommate. |
00:45:02 |
- Isabel. |
00:45:05 |
- You can clean up. It's your turn. |
00:45:09 |
Good night. |
00:45:21 |
Hi, George. It's Jane. |
00:45:27 |
[Liz] |
00:45:29 |
I mean, I sensed things were a little |
00:45:32 |
but I just thought that he was |
00:45:36 |
Then he tells me the France thing |
00:45:38 |
because he's gonna have |
00:45:40 |
so still, I figure, |
00:45:42 |
So Friday he gets on a plane, |
00:45:44 |
Right? Wrong. |
00:45:47 |
An hour ago, I call his |
00:45:50 |
Guess who answered the phone |
00:45:54 |
Penelope Pope. |
00:45:57 |
- Who's Penelope Pope? |
00:45:59 |
but that's what she said when I said, |
00:46:01 |
- Oh, God. I don't get it! |
00:46:06 |
I mean, why feed me all that romantic |
00:46:11 |
- Two words: Copulatory imperative. |
00:46:15 |
It's the biological urge |
00:46:18 |
The truth is, less than five percent |
00:46:22 |
The other 95% are... |
00:46:25 |
Plucking Penelope Pope? |
00:46:35 |
[Knocking] |
00:46:38 |
I, uh, stopped by H&H |
00:46:41 |
picked up |
00:46:45 |
lightly toasted, |
00:46:49 |
- [Continues Typing] |
00:46:54 |
Okay. |
00:47:04 |
Ray has a cold. I'm hoping |
00:47:06 |
and that weeks of bed rest will |
00:47:15 |
Ben wants to add a column |
00:47:18 |
It finally hit him that |
00:47:21 |
The idea is for it |
00:47:23 |
You know, how they're |
00:47:25 |
- about going bald and that kind of thing. |
00:47:29 |
Forget baldness. |
00:47:31 |
You know, that stuff like |
00:47:34 |
Imperative. Hey, Bobby, can |
00:47:37 |
The point is, I think |
00:47:39 |
Are you crazy? |
00:47:41 |
- Well, why not? |
00:47:44 |
We don't need |
00:47:46 |
We need someone who's been |
00:47:48 |
Liz, I don't know |
00:47:52 |
All I have are a bunch of notebooks |
00:47:55 |
I mean, this is not a |
00:47:59 |
A sick, twisted, |
00:48:03 |
You get paid to write about something |
00:48:05 |
If you want anonymity, |
00:48:09 |
I personally think |
00:48:11 |
and you'd be doing your dear, |
00:48:18 |
Pen name, huh? |
00:48:20 |
##[Bugle: "Charge"] |
00:48:25 |
I'm doing this once. |
00:48:29 |
- Fine. I'm telling you, it's gonna be fun. |
00:48:32 |
I'm helping concoct the background |
00:48:35 |
who's about to publish her delusional |
00:48:40 |
You're right. Ha! |
00:48:43 |
Okay, try this. Um... |
00:48:45 |
Born in Sussex, 1937. |
00:48:51 |
Cofounder of the Institute of |
00:00:11 |
No surviving relatives. |
00:00:13 |
- She even has a bun. |
00:00:16 |
Dr. Marie Charles. |
00:00:19 |
- [Chuckling] |
00:00:55 |
Every bull |
00:00:57 |
with certain cards |
00:01:00 |
Tools of seduction |
00:01:05 |
One of the most |
00:01:07 |
is the current cow |
00:01:09 |
Allow me to deconstruct |
00:01:13 |
You're so easy to talk to, |
00:01:16 |
not like my current cow. |
00:01:19 |
This is key to understanding |
00:01:22 |
for though you think |
00:01:24 |
he is actually |
00:01:26 |
showing how open |
00:01:31 |
I just try so hard and... |
00:01:36 |
Well, I'm sure she doesn't |
00:01:39 |
Just in case you're starting to think he's |
00:01:43 |
he'll throw this in just to prove |
00:01:46 |
out to pasture for good reason, |
00:01:48 |
and that he's actually tormented with |
00:01:51 |
What's that thing they always say |
00:01:55 |
[Jane Narrating] That, once offered, |
00:01:57 |
and bite her in the ass. |
00:01:59 |
- Enter case in point. |
00:02:02 |
- Hey. |
00:02:04 |
- Didn't work out. |
00:02:10 |
- Okay, so what happened? |
00:02:13 |
What do you mean, |
00:02:16 |
How exactly? |
00:02:18 |
Christ, Jane, do we really have |
00:02:22 |
I'm just curious is all. |
00:02:26 |
then back to her place? |
00:02:29 |
- Then what? |
00:02:32 |
So we're in the kitchen |
00:02:34 |
and suddenly, she starts |
00:02:36 |
We had dinner right after the |
00:02:39 |
She was still hungry. |
00:02:43 |
And that's bad, |
00:02:49 |
Okay, so you're in the kitchen, |
00:02:54 |
then what? |
00:02:56 |
So she takes out a pint |
00:02:59 |
and just starts eating it |
00:03:03 |
and there was just something |
00:03:06 |
Was the refrigerator door open? |
00:03:09 |
- Why? - Answer the |
00:03:12 |
It was open, I think. |
00:03:14 |
Would it have made a |
00:03:16 |
Would that have made the act of a |
00:03:19 |
a little less revolting to you? |
00:03:21 |
What if she'd not had dinner? |
00:03:25 |
before she shoved her face |
00:03:28 |
Would it have repulsed you less |
00:03:30 |
- Good night, you psycho! |
00:03:34 |
#Hallelujah |
00:03:39 |
- #Hallelujah Hallelujah |
00:03:41 |
Oprah read the article |
00:03:44 |
The audience went so crazy for it, |
00:03:47 |
begging for Dr. Charles |
00:03:49 |
- What? |
00:03:52 |
She's vacationing in Hong Kong. |
00:03:55 |
- Oh, this is bad. |
00:03:59 |
Okay? Trust me. |
00:04:02 |
This won't come |
00:04:04 |
"And so, while the male |
00:04:07 |
"with all his Uriah Heep hand-wringin' |
00:04:12 |
"he's actually a narcissist... |
00:04:15 |
"because this apparent shyness belies |
00:04:20 |
"of unworthiness |
00:04:24 |
"And this is what compels him |
00:04:28 |
from new cow after new cow |
00:04:34 |
This is such great stuff. |
00:04:37 |
It obliterates any sentimentality |
00:04:40 |
about what |
00:04:42 |
This right here is what we've been |
00:04:46 |
It's clever. It's got mass |
00:04:49 |
There's just one problem. Nobody |
00:04:52 |
The Today Show's tried. |
00:04:54 |
- Yeah, and have you tried? |
00:04:57 |
- Uh, well, no. |
00:05:00 |
Do you realize what |
00:05:03 |
- [Both] The ungettable get? |
00:05:07 |
I don't care what it takes. |
00:05:11 |
and bring her here |
00:05:14 |
Let me get this straight. Your best |
00:05:17 |
and she has no idea |
00:05:19 |
That's what she said. |
00:05:21 |
[Eddie] I don't buy that. |
00:05:23 |
[Jane] I'm not! |
00:05:25 |
- Just give me her number. |
00:05:27 |
- Why not? |
00:05:29 |
- Besides, you'd never reach her. She's at Jivamukti. |
00:05:32 |
- Yoga. |
00:05:34 |
- Jivamukti. |
00:05:36 |
[Beeps] |
00:05:39 |
- Manhattan. Jivamukti. |
00:05:42 |
It's a yoga place. |
00:05:45 |
Eddie, don't be a jerk! |
00:05:51 |
Eddie, come on! |
00:05:53 |
- This is so ridiculous. |
00:05:56 |
Hey, hey, you have |
00:06:00 |
## [Chanting] |
00:06:03 |
Liz? |
00:06:06 |
Jerk, she is my best friend. |
00:06:10 |
- Jane? |
00:06:14 |
Stay! |
00:06:16 |
- Bring your leg up higher. |
00:06:19 |
Gee. Sorry. I know. |
00:06:21 |
- Oh. |
00:06:24 |
- Sorry. You okay? |
00:06:31 |
How you doin', Becca? |
00:06:34 |
I'm good. |
00:06:38 |
What are you |
00:06:43 |
I, uh... I-I don't know. |
00:06:47 |
Come, class. Let's forget |
00:06:50 |
It's okay. Everyone, |
00:06:52 |
Get back to your spaces |
00:06:55 |
Hey, inhale. Exhale. |
00:06:59 |
Stick out your tongue. |
00:07:01 |
That was Rebecca? |
00:07:04 |
There's nothing |
00:07:06 |
- Hi, Liz. |
00:07:10 |
- Hey, Janey! |
00:07:13 |
Eddie, this is my sister Alice |
00:07:16 |
- You're... Eddie. |
00:07:20 |
- Are you two taking yoga class together? |
00:07:22 |
- We were just... I... It-It's stupid. |
00:07:26 |
- We don't think it's stupid. |
00:07:29 |
- [Elevator Alarm Ringing] |
00:07:31 |
- Thanks. She's a great breather. |
00:07:34 |
- Hey, it was really nice to meet |
00:08:15 |
[Jane Narrating] Eddie |
00:08:19 |
and went back to grazing |
00:08:24 |
- [People Chattering] - |
00:08:28 |
Merry Christmas, everyone. |
00:08:30 |
Merry Christmas. |
00:08:32 |
- I'm getting out of here. |
00:08:35 |
## [Piano] |
00:08:37 |
- Uh, two champagnes, please. |
00:08:40 |
Shouldn't that be a champagne |
00:08:43 |
- Sorry. |
00:08:46 |
- So where'd you meet her? |
00:08:50 |
Emily that I made |
00:08:54 |
Uh-huh. |
00:08:56 |
Isn't that complicated? |
00:08:58 |
It's never complicated, Jane. |
00:09:02 |
Thank you. |
00:09:06 |
[Men Laughing] |
00:09:21 |
Evening, sir. |
00:09:24 |
- Scotch, please. |
00:09:27 |
[Sighs] Did you hear Diane's |
00:09:32 |
Funny! |
00:09:37 |
- [Bartender] Here you go. |
00:09:40 |
[Sighs] |
00:09:49 |
I miss you, Jane. |
00:09:59 |
Am I... Am I supposed |
00:10:06 |
No. |
00:10:09 |
Can we get away from this? |
00:10:13 |
Get together for lunch, |
00:10:19 |
Friday is New Year's Eve. |
00:10:21 |
Oh, that's right. |
00:10:25 |
You probably have |
00:10:27 |
- Don't you? |
00:10:29 |
Yes, I do. |
00:10:32 |
[Clears Throat] |
00:10:36 |
No. |
00:10:39 |
I have none. |
00:10:43 |
Could I call you? |
00:10:52 |
Yeah. |
00:10:56 |
Merry Christmas, Jane. |
00:11:00 |
- Yee-haaaw! - #Jingle |
00:11:04 |
Well, you can't stop now. |
00:11:07 |
You're syndicated |
00:11:10 |
Talk radio is having |
00:11:12 |
[Scoffs] Clearly the world |
00:11:15 |
- Look, I just want to think about it, okay? |
00:11:19 |
You don't want to be |
00:11:21 |
Come on. Let's get something great to |
00:11:27 |
I meant to tell you that... |
00:11:32 |
I mean, it's nothing major. |
00:11:34 |
- Well... |
00:11:37 |
- Ray asked me out. |
00:11:41 |
As in Ray Brown? |
00:11:44 |
As in devil incarnate? |
00:11:46 |
No! No, I forbid it! |
00:11:48 |
L- I-I thought you |
00:11:50 |
I think I'm having |
00:11:53 |
Oh, so now... Dr. Charles |
00:12:09 |
- Done yet? |
00:12:12 |
- No, I just have to pee. |
00:12:15 |
- What's this, party Viagra? |
00:12:17 |
No, it's nicotine gum. |
00:12:20 |
- When did you quit? |
00:12:24 |
Here. |
00:12:26 |
Thank you. |
00:12:29 |
Why don't you put on a dress |
00:12:31 |
Why, so I can |
00:12:33 |
- I'm flying solo. I thought I'd keep my options open. |
00:12:36 |
Yeah? |
00:12:38 |
Although |
00:12:40 |
[Ringing] |
00:12:42 |
- Hello. |
00:12:43 |
Does this mean you've |
00:12:45 |
No, and I only have |
00:12:47 |
So quit worrying about me. |
00:12:49 |
I'm going to wear that red lipstick |
00:12:51 |
- Okay. Bye. |
00:13:00 |
Why are you doing this |
00:13:05 |
- Doing what? |
00:13:08 |
I don't know what |
00:13:10 |
Okay. |
00:13:13 |
- Well, if you change your mind, this is where I'll be. |
00:13:19 |
I think I'll... |
00:13:21 |
probably |
00:13:24 |
- go to bed early... |
00:13:26 |
- Same to you! |
00:13:47 |
[Man On TV] Now, back to our special New |
00:13:53 |
To recap, it was |
00:13:56 |
that Ray Brown called |
00:13:58 |
to take Jane Goodale out |
00:14:01 |
a clear indication |
00:14:03 |
regretting his decision |
00:14:06 |
So the question remains, |
00:14:10 |
By all accounts, it would appear |
00:14:14 |
to his September sanctions. |
00:14:27 |
[Couple Chattering, Laughing] |
00:14:38 |
- ##[Music Playing] |
00:15:17 |
- [Drunken Shout] - [Party |
00:15:22 |
six, five, four, |
00:15:28 |
Happy New Year! |
00:15:32 |
Jane! |
00:15:40 |
[Cheering, Laughing] |
00:15:44 |
Whoo! |
00:15:52 |
Ahh... |
00:15:56 |
Ohh... |
00:16:09 |
Jane! |
00:16:14 |
[Sighs] |
00:16:26 |
[Woman Shouts] |
00:16:36 |
- Jane? |
00:16:39 |
- L-I need to talk to you. |
00:16:42 |
Excuse me. Why didn't you... |
00:16:46 |
You mean the calls that came |
00:16:48 |
L... [Scoffs] |
00:16:50 |
It's so true. |
00:16:56 |
[Elevator Bell Dings] |
00:16:58 |
Will you stop |
00:17:00 |
- Hey, Jane. |
00:17:02 |
- Good morning! |
00:17:04 |
- There's a reason I didn't show |
00:17:08 |
And you know what? |
00:17:10 |
So let's forget about it. |
00:17:12 |
I don't suppose you're |
00:17:14 |
You know what, Ray? |
00:17:16 |
Hi! |
00:17:19 |
Any delusions I may have still |
00:17:23 |
It was a gift. |
00:17:26 |
- For the first time in months, I feel great. |
00:17:28 |
- Staff meeting in my office in two minutes. |
00:17:34 |
Uh, what's wrong? |
00:17:39 |
Diane's wearing your shirt. |
00:17:42 |
The shirt I bought you |
00:17:50 |
So, does that mean |
00:17:53 |
- the two of you are... |
00:17:57 |
- Yes. That's what I've been |
00:18:01 |
Did you say, "Again"? |
00:18:03 |
I should have told you |
00:18:07 |
but Diane insisted |
00:18:09 |
- We got back together right |
00:18:12 |
and we went away for a couple of days, and |
00:18:15 |
[Man Shouting] Ray, I've |
00:18:18 |
- Ohh! Go on. |
00:18:31 |
[Chuckles] |
00:18:42 |
- [Sighs] |
00:18:46 |
- "D... " She's "D." [Sighs] |
00:18:49 |
Di... Di... "D." |
00:18:52 |
Yes. "D" is for Diane. |
00:18:55 |
Ray's "D." |
00:18:57 |
I mean, she was... She |
00:19:00 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. |
00:19:02 |
- Just breathe. Breathe, Jane. Breathe. |
00:19:04 |
Now, let me get this straight. |
00:19:07 |
- Back together. Together |
00:19:09 |
- Let it go. Ray and Diane? |
00:19:12 |
Okay. Shh... |
00:19:14 |
That chapter's over, remember? |
00:19:16 |
Now we got to go in there, |
00:19:18 |
Do you hear me? |
00:19:20 |
- Don't cry, please. You're gonna be fine. |
00:19:23 |
- Okay. |
00:19:25 |
- Good. You all right? |
00:19:30 |
Jane, where are we |
00:19:33 |
Uh, we're-we're all set with |
00:19:37 |
Oh, good. |
00:19:41 |
Am-Amazing. |
00:19:43 |
L- I actually, uh... |
00:19:46 |
about a man whose whole |
00:19:48 |
I mean, it's brutal, |
00:19:51 |
You know, they show |
00:19:53 |
You see that this woman means... |
00:19:57 |
In fact, there's this-this... |
00:20:00 |
where he actually sits |
00:20:04 |
It's very touching. He's sits |
00:20:08 |
You just start to see |
00:20:12 |
I mean, the man is completely, you |
00:20:16 |
You really feel it, and it's |
00:20:18 |
[Laughing] |
00:20:20 |
- Is this a joke? |
00:20:25 |
N- No. |
00:20:27 |
[Both Laughing] |
00:20:30 |
I mean... [Snorts] |
00:20:34 |
- No, I saw it two nights ago. |
00:20:38 |
- Oh, can you believe this guy? |
00:20:42 |
[Laughing] |
00:20:45 |
So devastated when it comes to |
00:20:49 |
Stomp on somebody's heart in real life, |
00:20:53 |
Nowhere! Why? |
00:20:56 |
He never gets it! |
00:20:59 |
Someone please |
00:21:01 |
Because I don't know |
00:21:05 |
[Murmuring] |
00:21:14 |
- Evelyn, is she free? |
00:21:17 |
Thanks. |
00:21:27 |
I'm sorry, Diane. L... I don't |
00:21:31 |
Well, I do. I know |
00:21:35 |
You do? |
00:21:37 |
Some guy crushed you |
00:21:40 |
and you lashed out |
00:21:42 |
representative of the prick |
00:21:44 |
- I'm right, aren't I? |
00:21:49 |
Well, you can't do it, Jane. |
00:21:51 |
- I don't care how much it hurts. |
00:21:54 |
No, you don't know. |
00:22:02 |
I'm gonna let you in |
00:22:06 |
About six months ago, |
00:22:10 |
Well, he did. |
00:22:13 |
And I was devastated. I was |
00:22:22 |
- No. L-I-I didn't. No. |
00:22:26 |
Do you know why? |
00:22:30 |
everything around me |
00:22:32 |
everything that I have worked |
00:22:38 |
- Do you love him? |
00:22:40 |
- Him. The guy. |
00:22:45 |
Of course you do. Now, have |
00:22:48 |
No. No. Not ex... |
00:22:52 |
Do it. Do it. |
00:22:58 |
I used to feel that if I |
00:23:03 |
If I never let him know how much I needed |
00:23:08 |
Well, guess what? |
00:23:11 |
And I lived in a private, |
00:23:16 |
until I couldn't |
00:23:18 |
And so you know what I did? |
00:23:21 |
with two corned beef sandwiches |
00:23:25 |
and I told him that |
00:23:30 |
You said that? |
00:23:32 |
Pretty progressive, huh? |
00:23:36 |
I never thought |
00:23:44 |
[Liz] |
00:23:46 |
This is true love? This is what |
00:23:49 |
That is the most tragic thing |
00:23:52 |
We're talking about a woman whose boyfriend |
00:23:56 |
And she's the authority |
00:23:59 |
The only reason she believes |
00:24:01 |
She's an old cow. |
00:24:04 |
Truth is all we need to do |
00:24:08 |
You know, learn to be attracted to |
00:24:11 |
Whoa. Hang on. |
00:24:14 |
Well, for example, normally... |
00:24:17 |
I might be attracted |
00:24:21 |
But thanks to Dr. Charles, I've learned |
00:24:25 |
and now I can proudly say... |
00:24:27 |
that I no longer find you |
00:24:31 |
Oh, gee. |
00:24:34 |
I need a drink. |
00:24:38 |
[Clears Throat] Does she have any |
00:24:42 |
No. She's right. Diane is an old |
00:24:46 |
Okay, that's it. |
00:24:49 |
Jane, these are people, |
00:25:04 |
Hello. |
00:25:06 |
[Cat Mewing] |
00:25:13 |
[Jane] I should have known |
00:25:15 |
This isn't about sides, Jane. |
00:25:19 |
- And you need to get a grip. |
00:25:21 |
coming from an emotional moron who's |
00:25:25 |
using women |
00:25:28 |
Oh, that's great. I get dumped, |
00:25:31 |
You, you get dumped |
00:25:33 |
of some crone-slash-quack |
00:25:36 |
who can't tell the difference between |
00:25:39 |
- She is not a crone. And she is not a quack! |
00:25:42 |
Who gives a shit? |
00:25:45 |
You know, while you were out there buying |
00:25:49 |
- [Groans] |
00:25:51 |
deep down inside |
00:25:53 |
Men are evil. Men are scum. But please, |
00:25:57 |
Well, you got |
00:26:00 |
He did go back. He just |
00:26:05 |
It's over! Over. |
00:26:09 |
- Why can't you just let it go? |
00:26:12 |
- Because why? |
00:26:14 |
- Why? |
00:26:18 |
Because if this... |
00:26:21 |
men don't leave all women, |
00:26:31 |
I know what |
00:26:35 |
Maybe that's why |
00:26:39 |
We just can't believe that such a |
00:26:43 |
[Sighs] |
00:26:48 |
But it can. |
00:26:52 |
Someday you'll |
00:26:56 |
- I promise you. |
00:27:00 |
- A mess. |
00:27:06 |
- And you're beautiful. |
00:27:09 |
Hey, you are beautiful. |
00:27:15 |
- You're intelligent... and real. |
00:27:25 |
And Ray is not the last man |
00:27:28 |
[Sobbing] |
00:27:38 |
I promise you he's not. |
00:27:44 |
Shh. Shh... |
00:27:49 |
[Sobbing Continues] |
00:28:16 |
[Sniffs] |
00:28:40 |
[Whispering] |
00:28:53 |
- Oh... |
00:29:14 |
Mmm... |
00:29:24 |
Hmm... |
00:29:27 |
Hi. |
00:29:31 |
Hi. |
00:29:33 |
Uh... listen. |
00:29:39 |
- L... |
00:29:41 |
No. No. |
00:29:44 |
No, you're not going |
00:29:47 |
- I'm not? |
00:29:51 |
You're so hell-bent on making sure things fit, |
00:29:55 |
- Eh? Oh... |
00:29:57 |
No? Right now you're trying |
00:30:02 |
Yeah? Worrying about |
00:30:05 |
Me, I'm just getting a kick |
00:30:07 |
spent an entire night |
00:30:10 |
and I didn't even cop a feel. |
00:30:17 |
Well... |
00:30:20 |
maybe one. |
00:30:24 |
- [Chuckles] |
00:30:27 |
- Whew! |
00:30:31 |
Well, I'm relieved. |
00:30:34 |
[Sighs] I mean, |
00:30:38 |
I thought maybe you |
00:30:43 |
You know, or that you would... |
00:30:49 |
That would've really blown your |
00:30:55 |
Temporarily maybe, but you would |
00:30:59 |
- My spots. |
00:31:03 |
Men never fail to do |
00:31:07 |
[Whistles] |
00:31:09 |
[Sighs] |
00:31:11 |
And what is that, Jane? |
00:31:14 |
Disappoint you? |
00:31:18 |
Hmm? |
00:31:21 |
What's really behind |
00:31:25 |
What are you hiding? |
00:31:28 |
Nothing. |
00:31:34 |
Sorry. What you see |
00:31:36 |
Is it? |
00:31:43 |
You know, this is not about my |
00:32:00 |
[Phone Ringing] |
00:32:03 |
- Hello. |
00:32:05 |
Listen, Stephen. |
00:32:07 |
Your sister's in the hospital. |
00:32:19 |
[Sniffles] |
00:32:26 |
[Sighs] |
00:32:29 |
[Sobs] |
00:32:35 |
[Sniffles] |
00:32:38 |
- I saw him in the hallway... |
00:32:40 |
- Getting water. |
00:32:42 |
Good luck. |
00:32:46 |
They break so easily, |
00:32:51 |
[Sighs] |
00:32:58 |
Last weekend, |
00:33:01 |
He said that he had to go |
00:33:05 |
You know how anal he is. I thought |
00:33:09 |
thermometers and baby blankets |
00:33:13 |
When he walked in the door, |
00:33:18 |
and inside was this... |
00:33:23 |
this perfect little |
00:33:25 |
[Sighs] |
00:33:32 |
[Sobbing] |
00:33:35 |
He got it in his head that |
00:33:39 |
Janey. |
00:33:42 |
- [Both Sobbing] |
00:33:50 |
[Stephen] |
00:33:53 |
I've got blankets. |
00:34:04 |
Look at my wife. |
00:34:11 |
Have you ever seen |
00:34:15 |
[Laughs] |
00:34:50 |
Diane, it's Jane. |
00:34:52 |
I found Dr. Charles, |
00:34:57 |
[Applause, Cheers] |
00:35:02 |
[Man] Okay, is everybody |
00:35:06 |
Now, come on. You're going to |
00:35:11 |
Okay, let me explain how everything |
00:35:13 |
- It's a really informal show... |
00:35:16 |
Two minutes. The magazine's |
00:35:20 |
- All right! |
00:35:24 |
- Diane, two minutes. |
00:35:27 |
The first guest is going to come. |
00:35:30 |
Our first interview is gonna be |
00:35:33 |
- Dr. Marie Charles. |
00:35:47 |
I'm going to ask you one more time. |
00:35:51 |
[Jane] I'm sure. I'm sorry |
00:35:53 |
Don't worry about me. I just want to |
00:35:56 |
- Maybe I have. - |
00:35:59 |
- [Line clicks] Dr. Charles. |
00:36:08 |
Welcome. Rarely have I |
00:36:12 |
such a distinguished |
00:36:14 |
Today, Dr. Marie Charles |
00:36:18 |
since the publication |
00:36:21 |
Network says we've already |
00:36:23 |
- Holy cow. |
00:36:27 |
has agreed to an exclusive, |
00:36:31 |
And I consider it |
00:36:34 |
from someone whose work has meant |
00:36:38 |
- as I'm sure yours. |
00:36:41 |
- Dr. Marie Charles |
00:36:45 |
Hello, Dr. Charles. |
00:36:47 |
Hello, Dr. Charles. |
00:36:51 |
- [Applause Continues] |
00:36:56 |
- Where the hell is she? Where's the feed? |
00:36:58 |
We seem to be having |
00:37:00 |
If you'll just bear with us, |
00:37:03 |
[Sighs] |
00:37:06 |
Tell them to patch it through |
00:37:08 |
- We can't. We only have one dedicated line. |
00:37:15 |
Okay, take us to commercial. |
00:37:17 |
Uh, she's here. |
00:37:20 |
Ho-Hold that. |
00:37:23 |
- She's here. |
00:37:25 |
it seems that the reason we've |
00:37:28 |
to Dr. Charles |
00:37:30 |
is because at this moment |
00:37:33 |
having decided to do |
00:37:36 |
- Holy shit. |
00:37:38 |
Join me in welcoming |
00:37:45 |
- Makeup? |
00:37:49 |
[Diane] |
00:37:51 |
[Audience Cheering] |
00:37:53 |
- Wake up! |
00:38:02 |
Jane, what's going on? |
00:38:05 |
[Audience Murmuring] |
00:38:08 |
- There is no Dr. Charles. |
00:38:10 |
There never was. |
00:38:15 |
- I invented her, Diane. |
00:38:20 |
- You... |
00:38:24 |
I had something to say, |
00:38:29 |
I thought if... if-if-if it were |
00:38:35 |
that you would |
00:38:38 |
as a truth, as a legitimate, |
00:38:44 |
But it isn't. |
00:38:48 |
And... |
00:38:53 |
I lied to you all, |
00:38:55 |
Because |
00:38:58 |
Because |
00:39:04 |
I was heartbroken... |
00:39:07 |
You know, and I just wanted |
00:39:11 |
I wanted it to be... |
00:39:16 |
So everything I thought I had figured |
00:39:19 |
I thought this bull had gone on |
00:39:22 |
when, in fact, she was an old cow |
00:39:24 |
I mean, what was |
00:39:27 |
I was comparing |
00:39:31 |
- which... okay, let's face it... sometimes they are. |
00:39:37 |
But sometimes they are not. |
00:39:40 |
Sometimes |
00:39:44 |
or the hospital room door... |
00:39:46 |
or the bedroom door and... |
00:39:51 |
you find the real thing. |
00:39:55 |
You find a guy who... |
00:39:58 |
can sit with you when you |
00:40:02 |
when you are knee-deep in Kleenex, and |
00:40:05 |
and you are a complete |
00:40:07 |
And he... |
00:40:11 |
can still look at you |
00:40:14 |
that Ray is not the last man |
00:40:19 |
- [Audience Murmuring] |
00:40:27 |
- [Chuckles] |
00:40:34 |
- Eddie! Oh, my God. |
00:40:44 |
[Man] |
00:40:47 |
All right. |
00:40:58 |
#I been searching |
00:41:04 |
#For someone |
00:41:11 |
- #I've been traveling all |
00:41:14 |
Eddie! |
00:41:17 |
- Oh, Eddie! - # Waiting |
00:41:23 |
#Someone like you |
00:41:30 |
#Someone like you # |
00:41:33 |
- #Keep me satisfied # |
00:41:36 |
- Stop. Stop. |
00:41:43 |
Whew. |
00:41:51 |
So, what you see |
00:41:56 |
Minus a few gray hairs |
00:42:03 |
I'm really sorry, Eddie. |
00:42:08 |
You should have told me. |
00:42:10 |
I should have told you |
00:42:14 |
You were right. |
00:42:18 |
It was about my nature. |
00:42:21 |
Out of all the things |
00:42:25 |
what scared me |
00:42:29 |
that I would find it again. |
00:42:32 |
Because I have. |
00:42:41 |
Would you please |
00:42:48 |
No. |
00:42:56 |
#I have been # |
00:43:00 |
#All around the world # |
00:43:04 |
#Marching to the beat |
00:43:11 |
So you're saying? |
00:43:15 |
What do we got to lose? |
00:43:19 |
- Everything? |
00:43:23 |
#Someone like you # |
00:43:27 |
# Can make it |
00:43:29 |
#Someone like you # |
00:43:33 |
#Keep me satisfied # |
00:43:35 |
#Someone exactly like you # |
00:43:41 |
#Someone exactly like you # |
00:43:48 |
#Someone exactly like you # |
00:43:55 |
# The best is yet to come # |
00:44:02 |
# The best is yet to come ## |
00:44:15 |
# Yeah # |
00:44:22 |
#How do you do it |
00:44:26 |
#Like there |
00:44:30 |
# To make me stay # |
00:44:33 |
#No tricks |
00:44:36 |
#Not anything |
00:44:39 |
#A second look and |
00:44:42 |
#It's no mystery # |
00:44:44 |
#It's in the way you love # |
00:44:50 |
#It's in |
00:44:55 |
#It's in the way you live # |
00:45:01 |
#And give your heart away # |
00:45:07 |
#It's in |
00:45:13 |
#It's in the way |
00:45:18 |
# That sets you |
00:45:24 |
#And makes you |
00:45:30 |
#And you are # |
00:45:34 |
#Beautiful # |
00:45:36 |
# You are # |
00:45:43 |
#Pressed on my soul |
00:45:48 |
# Goin' where |
00:45:54 |
# Well, I don't know how |
00:45:57 |
#My life |
00:46:00 |
#I try but I just |
00:46:03 |
#Down to one thing # |
00:46:05 |
#It's in the way you love # |
00:46:10 |
#It's in the little things |
00:46:15 |
##[Rock] |
00:46:19 |
[Woman] |
00:46:23 |
# Watch out # |
00:46:25 |
# You might get |
00:46:28 |
# Cool babies # |
00:46:30 |
#Strange but not a stranger # |
00:46:33 |
#I'm an ordinary guy # |
00:46:37 |
#Burning down the house # |
00:46:41 |
#Hold tight # |
00:46:43 |
# Wait till the party's over # |
00:46:45 |
#Hold tight # |
00:46:47 |
# We're in for nasty weather # |
00:46:50 |
# There has got to be a way # |
00:46:54 |
#Burning down the house # |
00:46:57 |
#Here's you ticket |
00:47:00 |
# Time for jumpin' overboard # |
00:47:03 |
# Transportation is here # |
00:47:06 |
# Close enough but not too far |
00:47:11 |
#Fight fire with fire # |
00:47:16 |
#All wet # |
00:47:18 |
#Hey, you might need |
00:47:20 |
#Shakedown # |
00:47:22 |
#Dreams walking |
00:47:25 |
# Three hundred |
00:47:29 |
#Burning down the house # |
00:47:33 |
#Here was once upon a place |
00:47:38 |
# Gonna come in first place # |
00:47:41 |
#People on their way to work |
00:47:46 |
# Gonna burst into flame # |
00:47:50 |
#I don't know what you expect |
00:47:55 |
#Fighting fire with fire # |
00:48:04 |
#Burning down the house ## |
00:48:16 |
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