|
Austin Powers in Goldmember
|
| 00:02:05 |
Yeah, baby! |
| 00:02:23 |
Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous. |
| 00:02:29 |
I may just be a small town FBI-agent, slash single mother. |
| 00:02:33 |
But I'm still tough...and sexy. |
| 00:02:37 |
Well, Miss Normous... |
| 00:02:38 |
Shall we shag now or shag later? |
| 00:02:42 |
Oh Austin...behave. |
| 00:02:49 |
Hey Powers! |
| 00:02:52 |
You better watch your freaking self. |
| 00:02:54 |
Because this is one doctor who does make house calls. |
| 00:03:01 |
Right, Mini-Me? |
| 00:03:03 |
Hey, assholes! |
| 00:03:07 |
I'm right over here, I'm Mine-Me. Come and get me! |
| 00:03:19 |
- And cut! |
| 00:03:28 |
So, Austin, what did you think of the opening credits? |
| 00:03:30 |
Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest - |
| 00:03:33 |
- film maker in history of cinema, - |
| 00:03:35 |
- is making a movie about my life. |
| 00:03:38 |
Very shagadelic baby, yeah! |
| 00:03:42 |
Having said that, I do have some thoughts. |
| 00:03:45 |
Really? My friend here thinks it's fine the way it is. |
| 00:03:51 |
Well no offense Sir Stevie, but you gotta have Mojo baby, yeah! |
| 00:03:57 |
Hit it! |
| 00:05:05 |
Ladies and Gentlemen. |
| 00:05:06 |
Sir Quincy Jones. |
| 00:05:15 |
This is where the movie get its Mojo, baby. |
| 00:05:34 |
Alright, everybody. Music video, take 2. |
| 00:05:36 |
It's Britney Spears! |
| 00:06:27 |
Oops. I did it again, baby. |
| 00:07:16 |
Welcome back Herr Doctor. |
| 00:07:17 |
How was space? |
| 00:07:18 |
Space was cool, wasn't it Mini-Me? |
| 00:07:23 |
Doctor Evil, while you were in space. |
| 00:07:25 |
I created a way for us to make huge sums of legitimate money. |
| 00:07:28 |
And still maintain the ethics in the business practices - |
| 00:07:32 |
- of an evil organization. |
| 00:07:34 |
- I have turned us into a talent agency. The Hollywood Talent Agency. |
| 00:07:39 |
By charging A-list clients 9 % rather that the traditional 10 %. |
| 00:07:43 |
We've been able to sign such stars - |
| 00:07:45 |
- such as George Clooney, - |
| 00:07:46 |
- Julia Roberts. |
| 00:07:49 |
And Leo DiCaprio. |
| 00:07:50 |
Leo! |
| 00:07:51 |
And the best part of the whole scheme is, - |
| 00:07:53 |
- we all get our own assistance. |
| 00:07:56 |
Hi, I'm Number 3. |
| 00:08:00 |
I'm really excited to be a part of the team, here in HTA. |
| 00:08:03 |
Very impressive, Number 2, - |
| 00:08:06 |
- but I finally have the perfect plan. |
| 00:08:10 |
In the 70s, there lived a Dutch metallurgical heathenish, - |
| 00:08:12 |
- by the name of Johann Van Der Smut. |
| 00:08:15 |
He loved gold so much he even lost his genitaliens in an |
| 00:08:20 |
Hence the name...Goldmember. |
| 00:08:24 |
He invented a cold fusion power unit for a..."Tractorbeam". |
| 00:08:30 |
"Tractorbeam" |
| 00:08:32 |
Powerful enough to pull a meteor to Earth. |
| 00:08:34 |
The meteor was called..."Midas 22". |
| 00:08:39 |
It's made of solid gold...is he sleeping? |
| 00:08:43 |
Well, that's okay. I guess Mini-Me won't get any, CHOCOLATE! |
| 00:08:49 |
You want down Mini-Me? Use your words like a big boy clone. |
| 00:08:56 |
He's okay! |
| 00:09:00 |
Here's the chocolate. It's from Brugge. That's in Belgium, that's where daddy's from. |
| 00:09:11 |
Check out Mini-Me. |
| 00:09:13 |
He's gone mental on candied chocolate. |
| 00:09:16 |
It's like freakin' catnip for clothes. |
| 00:09:20 |
- Your chair, Dr. Evil. |
| 00:09:33 |
Thanks, scedadum, right. |
| 00:09:36 |
You know, when you have kids, I think your gonna find out |
| 00:09:45 |
For example: Mini-Me loves chocolate. |
| 00:09:49 |
Scotty don't! |
| 00:09:50 |
Well, I love chocolate fine. I just... |
| 00:09:51 |
Scotty don't! |
| 00:09:52 |
Oh yeah, very familiar, hang on, let me do what I do. Would you stop... |
| 00:09:56 |
How about I what? |
| 00:09:58 |
What do you... |
| 00:10:00 |
I don't even... |
| 00:10:02 |
Honestly, isn't this... |
| 00:10:03 |
How about you don't, ladies and gentlemen, Scotty don't. |
| 00:10:06 |
Dr. Evil, perhaps it's time, that you finish unveiling your plan. |
| 00:10:10 |
Yes, thank you Number 2. |
| 00:10:11 |
Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is... |
| 00:10:13 |
Scotty don't. |
| 00:10:14 |
Oh, come on, you're such a lame ass! |
| 00:10:28 |
You know what? This is causing me serious psychological harm! |
| 00:10:31 |
I don't know. Who am I? |
| 00:10:33 |
Fine. You know what? I would love some chocolate. |
| 00:10:35 |
- Here you go. |
| 00:10:44 |
Heel Mini-Me! |
| 00:10:48 |
Come on! |
| 00:10:53 |
You okay, Mini-Me? |
| 00:10:55 |
Did I pull too hard? I don't want to hurt you. |
| 00:10:57 |
- Dr. Evil. |
| 00:10:59 |
What does Goldmember's plan have to do with us? |
| 00:11:02 |
Our earlier attempts of the tractorbeam went through several preparations. |
| 00:11:05 |
Preparation A through G were a complete failure. |
| 00:11:08 |
But now ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractorbeam. |
| 00:11:12 |
Which we shall call "Preparation H". |
| 00:11:18 |
What? |
| 00:11:20 |
Why don't you just call it "Operation Ass-creamy", ass? |
| 00:11:23 |
I'm sorry did you want some ice-cream? |
| 00:11:25 |
Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream. |
| 00:11:30 |
Perhaps later. |
| 00:11:31 |
Dr. Evil, I love your plan. |
| 00:11:34 |
Ja, Herr Doctor, it's a really good plan. |
| 00:11:37 |
Yes, Frau, on the whole, I think Preparation H fells good. |
| 00:11:42 |
What is it now? |
| 00:11:43 |
No, nothing. You know what? I agree... |
| 00:11:46 |
Preparation H does feel good. |
| 00:11:48 |
On the hole. |
| 00:11:50 |
Well, I'm glad wir sprechen sie the same lingity. |
| 00:11:53 |
Ladies and gentlemen. Using my time machine I shall travel back to 1975. |
| 00:11:59 |
Pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future. |
| 00:12:02 |
And the best part of this plan is... |
| 00:12:05 |
No one can stop me. |
| 00:12:07 |
Not even...Austin Powers. |
| 00:12:22 |
Not so fast. |
| 00:12:25 |
You're sorrounded Dr. Evil. |
| 00:12:28 |
Shit! |
| 00:12:31 |
Dr. Evil, the world court sentences you to 400 years. |
| 00:12:35 |
Do you have anything to say? |
| 00:12:37 |
No, but I think Mini-Me does. |
| 00:12:46 |
Looks like two eggs and a hankie. |
| 00:12:51 |
The criminal genius known as, Dr. Evil and his clone - |
| 00:12:55 |
- were sentenced today at the world organization. |
| 00:12:57 |
For his efforts, Austin Powers, - |
| 00:12:59 |
- the son of England's most famous spy, Nigel Powers. |
| 00:13:01 |
Will be knighted by The Queen at Buckingham Palace. |
| 00:13:07 |
Arise, Sir Austin Powers. |
| 00:13:11 |
Thank you, Your Majesty. |
| 00:13:12 |
Your father must be very proud of you. |
| 00:13:15 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:13:17 |
Come on dad, stand up and take a bow. |
| 00:14:32 |
"Daddy wasn't there" Peace! |
| 00:14:37 |
I am a sexy beast. |
| 00:14:47 |
It's Austin Powers, you're so funny. |
| 00:14:51 |
Also very sexy. |
| 00:14:53 |
Can I have an autograph? |
| 00:14:54 |
Of course, your name is? |
| 00:14:56 |
Fook Mi. |
| 00:14:59 |
Oh behave, baby. Now your name is? |
| 00:15:03 |
Fook Mi. |
| 00:15:05 |
You kiss your mother with that mouth? |
| 00:15:07 |
Fook Mi, like this. |
| 00:15:11 |
Oh I see. |
| 00:15:12 |
Your name is Fook Mi. |
| 00:15:15 |
You want a drink? |
| 00:15:16 |
Yes of course, but I have private bar in the back, that you are more than welcome to use... |
| 00:15:21 |
Here you go. |
| 00:15:22 |
Fook Mi! That was fast! |
| 00:15:25 |
Fook Yu. |
| 00:15:26 |
Oh, you're going the right way for a smack-bottom and I don't care who knows it! |
| 00:15:31 |
Austin. |
| 00:15:33 |
This is my twin sister, her name, Fook Yu. Fook Yu...Fook Mi. |
| 00:15:42 |
Twins...twins |
| 00:15:48 |
Twins. Yes. We're going to see the twins. |
| 00:15:54 |
I also think Austin Powers is very sexy. |
| 00:15:58 |
We think you're very great. |
| 00:16:01 |
We make you sleepy? |
| 00:16:03 |
Well, you make me many things, but sleepy is not one of them. |
| 00:16:07 |
- We give you top secret massage. |
| 00:16:16 |
Sorry about that, I swear to God, that never happens. |
| 00:16:20 |
Yes, hold on a tick. |
| 00:16:27 |
Okay, now where were we, baby? |
| 00:16:34 |
Ah, Austin. I'm sorry to interrupt. |
| 00:16:37 |
Twins, Basil. Twins. |
| 00:16:39 |
Austin, it's your father. |
| 00:16:42 |
- What? |
| 00:16:46 |
Very heavy, man. Oh, so that's why my father wasn't at the knighting ceremony. |
| 00:16:53 |
Well, no actually. |
| 00:16:54 |
He was kidnapped after you were knighted. |
| 00:16:58 |
He was last seen on his yatch. |
| 00:17:00 |
Oh, yes. The "HMS Shag-at-sea". |
| 00:17:05 |
Gentlemen fall in. |
| 00:17:07 |
Austin, these men were signed to guard you father. |
| 00:17:10 |
Okay, chaps, chins up, trousers down. |
| 00:17:13 |
I think we may have found a clue. |
| 00:17:17 |
Gold blimey! All your privates have had their privates painted gold. How bizarre. |
| 00:17:22 |
Imagine, guilded tally-wackers, golden wedding-tackle, fourteen-carat trousers snakes... |
| 00:17:27 |
- That's enough. |
| 00:17:30 |
Basil, there is only one person in the world, - |
| 00:17:32 |
- who truly understand the psychology of a mad man... |
| 00:17:36 |
- Dr. Evil. |
| 00:18:00 |
I've been expecting you, Mr. Powers. |
| 00:18:03 |
My father is missing. |
| 00:18:05 |
Yes, I've heard. How ironic. |
| 00:18:07 |
You finally caught me, yet now you need me more that ever. |
| 00:18:11 |
But then again, you've always needed me, haven't you Mr. Powers? |
| 00:18:15 |
Remember when I told you, we are not so different you and I? |
| 00:18:19 |
We are not so different you and I. |
| 00:18:23 |
- See, I did say that. |
| 00:18:26 |
Now who has my father? |
| 00:18:28 |
Oh, oh...someone have some daddy issues. |
| 00:18:31 |
Nothing could be my father from the truth. |
| 00:18:34 |
- You said my father. |
| 00:18:38 |
Didn't, did not. |
| 00:18:41 |
For me this is a dad issue. |
| 00:18:45 |
Daddy love me. |
| 00:18:48 |
It seems the knighting ceremony wasn't the only time your... - |
| 00:18:52 |
- daddy let you down. |
| 00:18:58 |
Remember that day at the academy? Think! |
| 00:19:03 |
It was graduation. |
| 00:19:11 |
Yeah, baby, yeah. Do I make you horny, baby? |
| 00:19:15 |
That, that's the spot. Right there. |
| 00:19:21 |
Have you ever heard of knocking, man? |
| 00:19:24 |
- Right! |
| 00:19:29 |
Don't forget, Mr. Powers, may tell you about the brief oral exam. |
| 00:19:33 |
When I have the bit, it's mostly oral, and not too...brief, baby. |
| 00:19:40 |
You know, brief and oral exam. |
| 00:19:49 |
It looks like Master Evil is the top-contender for this year's International Man of Mystery. |
| 00:19:54 |
He's number one in the class. |
| 00:19:58 |
Hey, everybody, I'm Number 1. |
| 00:20:02 |
Hello, I'm Number 2. |
| 00:20:05 |
Nice to meet you Number 2. |
| 00:20:06 |
But, now I'm going to be named this year's International Man of Mystery. |
| 00:20:23 |
Who throws a cup cake? Honestly? |
| 00:20:28 |
And now it's time for award of greatest honour. This year's International Man of Mystery is... |
| 00:20:36 |
- Austin Powers! |
| 00:20:53 |
It has always been my dream to win this award just like my dad. |
| 00:20:57 |
Glad he could be here. |
| 00:20:59 |
Stand up, dad. Take a bow. |
| 00:21:07 |
Dad? |
| 00:21:24 |
I had the best grades in the class, and I didn't get diddly squat. |
| 00:21:27 |
- Here we go. |
| 00:21:30 |
What did you find on those sailors? A golden surprise? Perhaps? |
| 00:21:37 |
How did...yes...all the sailors had their meat and two vege painted gold. |
| 00:21:43 |
Yes, it's the distinctive calling card of a criminal master mind. |
| 00:21:46 |
The abli named... |
| 00:21:50 |
Goldmember. |
| 00:21:54 |
How can I find this Goldmember? |
| 00:21:57 |
Quid pro quo, Mr Powers. |
| 00:22:00 |
Yes, squid pro row. |
| 00:22:04 |
I'll give you Goldmember. You give me a transfer to a regular prison. |
| 00:22:08 |
So that I could be with my beloved Mini-Me. |
| 00:22:12 |
Okay. I'll get you a transfer to a regular prison. Now where's Goldmember? |
| 00:22:17 |
Not where Mr. Powers, - |
| 00:22:19 |
- but when. |
| 00:22:20 |
1975 'Studio 69' Disco. New York City. Corner 69 and 8th. |
| 00:22:26 |
You go now, Mr. Powers. Fly fly. |
| 00:22:37 |
I'll get it. |
| 00:22:45 |
Instead of hiding your father in some remote location. Goldmember's hiding in 1975. |
| 00:22:52 |
So our engineers has crafted this vehicle, - |
| 00:22:55 |
- to time travel to the 70s. |
| 00:22:57 |
- Smashing, Basil. A pimp mobile. |
| 00:23:04 |
What can I say? Look. Cough... |
| 00:23:08 |
Here we go, 1975. |
| 00:23:11 |
Good luck, Austin. |
| 00:23:13 |
1975, yeah baby, yeah! |
| 00:24:36 |
Good evening, everybody. And welcome to Studio 69. |
| 00:24:40 |
Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Goldmember. |
| 00:24:53 |
Everybody, I'm from Holland! Isn't that wierd? |
| 00:26:16 |
Well. If it isn't Austin Powers. |
| 00:26:19 |
I'm sorry? |
| 00:26:20 |
You got a lot of nerve, jagging your jive white ass in here. |
| 00:26:24 |
I don't belive we have met. |
| 00:26:27 |
It's me Foxxy. Foxxy Cleopatra. |
| 00:26:30 |
Long time no see. |
| 00:26:33 |
Stop! |
| 00:26:35 |
We can't be seen talking to each other. You dig? |
| 00:26:37 |
I'm using this cat as a distration. |
| 00:26:39 |
I get it, yes, very clever. |
| 00:26:42 |
First things first. |
| 00:26:46 |
Eight years and no phonecall? Nobody stands up Foxxy Cleopatra! |
| 00:26:50 |
Where have you been? |
| 00:26:52 |
Listen Foxxy. I just want you to know I never intended to hurt you, baby. |
| 00:26:57 |
Well, all I know is. Momma only got a taste of honey. |
| 00:27:06 |
- Oh, beehive! |
| 00:27:13 |
Well you know it's a gift really, I...what am I doing? |
| 00:27:17 |
Foxxy, what are you doing i Goldmember's club? |
| 00:27:21 |
I'm undercover. |
| 00:27:22 |
About a year ago, my partner at the bureau was killed. |
| 00:27:26 |
And that jive-ass turkey, Goldmember is the prime suspect. |
| 00:27:31 |
Your father is in the back room - |
| 00:27:33 |
- under heavy guard. |
| 00:27:34 |
Thanks Foxxy. |
| 00:27:35 |
Austin, good luck. |
| 00:27:54 |
Dad! |
| 00:27:55 |
Hello son. Just overpowering my guards. |
| 00:27:58 |
I'm here to rescue you. Come quickly! |
| 00:28:01 |
I got a better idea. Why don't you rescue me in about...what seven or eight minuts? |
| 00:28:06 |
Knock it off. |
| 00:28:08 |
I don't wanna see my dad on the job. Come on let's go. |
| 00:28:11 |
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry girls. I gotta... |
| 00:28:18 |
What's wrong with your neck? |
| 00:28:19 |
I took a Viagra, it got stuck in my throat and I've had a stiff neck for hours. |
| 00:28:26 |
Listen, dad, if you are gonna talk about naughty things infront of these American girls. |
| 00:28:30 |
Then at least speak english-english. |
| 00:28:33 |
All right, my son. |
| 00:29:04 |
God, that was good times, son. |
| 00:29:16 |
Welcome to 1975, Austin Powers and fassia. |
| 00:29:21 |
Excuse me, while I change, the hola boogie has made me sweaty. |
| 00:29:26 |
You see Mr. Powers. |
| 00:29:30 |
I love gold. |
| 00:29:34 |
The look of it, the taste of it, the smell of it, the texture... |
| 00:29:39 |
I love gold so much - |
| 00:29:40 |
- that I even lost my genitalier - |
| 00:29:42 |
- in an unfortunate smelting accident. |
| 00:29:45 |
Hence the name...Goldmember. |
| 00:29:57 |
We're both swingers, you see? |
| 00:30:00 |
You have a toite body. |
| 00:30:01 |
Yesh, I see that from your toite bands. |
| 00:30:05 |
Yesh, you are toite like a toiger! |
| 00:30:08 |
Would you like a shmoke and a pancake? |
| 00:30:10 |
A what? |
| 00:30:11 |
A shmoke and a pancake? |
| 00:30:13 |
You, know. flapjack and a cigarette? |
| 00:30:16 |
Hm? All right. Shigar and a waffle? No? |
| 00:30:19 |
Pipe and a crepe? No? |
| 00:30:21 |
Bong and a blintz? |
| 00:30:23 |
Oh, well. Then there is no pleasing you. |
| 00:30:26 |
That's not right. |
| 00:30:28 |
Uh, hello, what have we here? |
| 00:30:31 |
That's a keeper, yesh. Put it in the skin-box, please. |
| 00:30:35 |
I'm peeling. |
| 00:30:37 |
Oh, that's just disgusting. |
| 00:30:39 |
Quickly, quickly, thank you. |
| 00:30:40 |
Save me for myself. |
| 00:30:42 |
You're insane Goldmember! |
| 00:30:45 |
"And that's the away, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it." |
| 00:30:48 |
K.C. and the Sunshine Band. |
| 00:30:50 |
Alright, Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. |
| 00:30:54 |
There are only two things, I can't stand in this world: |
| 00:30:57 |
People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. |
| 00:31:01 |
And the Dutch. |
| 00:31:02 |
What? |
| 00:31:06 |
Take the fassia away. |
| 00:31:10 |
Dutch-hater. And now it is time to say goodbye. |
| 00:31:14 |
Dr. Evil's orders. |
| 00:31:16 |
"Which for you is bad news, bears." |
| 00:31:20 |
Walter Matthau. |
| 00:31:21 |
Sha-zam! Up yours jive-turkey. |
| 00:31:25 |
Traitor! |
| 00:31:28 |
Here's the gun, point it at him. |
| 00:31:30 |
2002! |
| 00:31:32 |
- They're taking my father to the time machine. |
| 00:31:36 |
Come on now. |
| 00:31:38 |
This way, sugar! |
| 00:31:49 |
That was close Foxxy, I owe you one. |
| 00:31:51 |
Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office. |
| 00:31:53 |
- It's a microfilm, maybe a clue. |
| 00:31:56 |
I wanna go to the future with you. |
| 00:31:58 |
We can catch Goldmember together. I owe it to my partner. |
| 00:32:01 |
I should warn you Foxxy, 2002 is very different. |
| 00:32:04 |
Well, the future better get ready for me. |
| 00:32:07 |
Because I'm Foxxy Cleopatra. |
| 00:32:09 |
And I'm a whole lotta woman! |
| 00:32:14 |
2002, here we come! |
| 00:32:24 |
All visitations limited five minuts. |
| 00:32:27 |
No spitting in the visitors room. |
| 00:32:33 |
Herr Doctor. I have some news. |
| 00:32:36 |
It's your son. |
| 00:32:38 |
- He wants to take over the family business. |
| 00:32:43 |
- He's gotten so evil he's even started losing his hair. |
| 00:32:47 |
Oh, he just wants to make you proud, Herr Doctor. |
| 00:32:50 |
After all it's hard on the boy not having a father. |
| 00:32:52 |
You know. First you were frozen, then you were in space, now you're in jail. |
| 00:32:57 |
Don't tell me he feels neglected. |
| 00:32:59 |
I was adopted by freakin' Belgians. |
| 00:33:02 |
You were adopted? |
| 00:33:03 |
I never met my birth parents. |
| 00:33:06 |
There was a car accident. |
| 00:33:08 |
I'm told that it was a beautiful Belgium day. |
| 00:33:11 |
The smell of waffles and brussels sprout filled the summer air...until... |
| 00:33:18 |
My birthmother was incinerated. |
| 00:33:20 |
I only survived because of her smoking carcass - |
| 00:33:23 |
- formed a protective coocoon of slaughtered human effluence. |
| 00:33:27 |
A Belgium man and his 15-year old love slave with wet feet - |
| 00:33:30 |
- was looting the accident scene, they come across a bloodsoaked baby...moi! |
| 00:33:34 |
They raised me to be evil. You know, that old chestnut. |
| 00:33:39 |
Ja. |
| 00:33:40 |
But nothing compares to this. |
| 00:33:42 |
Being inside the belly of the beast, night after night all alone... |
| 00:33:45 |
Daddy's all pant up, let's freak. |
| 00:34:05 |
Times up! |
| 00:34:06 |
Visitings hours are over. Get to the line. |
| 00:34:09 |
Cuffs up! |
| 00:34:16 |
Move it! |
| 00:34:22 |
Hi there. How are you sleeping? Good? |
| 00:34:28 |
Gentlemen, listen up, ya'll. |
| 00:34:30 |
Here's the new plan. |
| 00:34:33 |
You're gonna start a riot. |
| 00:34:35 |
And we're gonna walk out the front door. |
| 00:34:40 |
Hey man, I know guys on crack that makes more sense than you. |
| 00:34:45 |
Really? |
| 00:34:47 |
Then let me put it to you this way, 'coz... |
| 00:36:09 |
Alright, listen up! Tonight 8 PM you're gonna start a riot. |
| 00:36:14 |
Yes, Dr. Evil! |
| 00:36:16 |
Attention all guards. There is a riot in progress. |
| 00:36:19 |
Seal all exits! |
| 00:36:21 |
Attention, Dr. Evil and his clone are trying to escape. |
| 00:36:26 |
All guards report to cell block A immediately... |
| 00:36:41 |
There you are. Good morning, sunshine. |
| 00:36:44 |
Good morning. |
| 00:36:46 |
How did you sleep? |
| 00:36:47 |
- Great! |
| 00:36:49 |
If these lips could talk. |
| 00:36:52 |
Oh, hello. |
| 00:36:55 |
You have the right to remain sexy, sugar. |
| 00:36:58 |
Oh, I hope there's a search involved. |
| 00:37:02 |
You got mail. |
| 00:37:03 |
So, what does this thing do? |
| 00:37:06 |
Well, it's called the Internet. |
| 00:37:07 |
It complete revolutionize the way we live and access vital information. |
| 00:37:12 |
For example, have a look at this. |
| 00:37:21 |
- Now that's vital information! |
| 00:37:27 |
- Oh, Basil, what's happening, baby? |
| 00:37:32 |
Dr. Evil has escaped. |
| 00:37:34 |
The good news is one of our agents has managed to infiltrate |
| 00:37:39 |
Excellent, Basil we have been tried for years, to get a mole inside Dr. Evil's lair. |
| 00:37:43 |
- We now have that mole. |
| 00:37:46 |
Ah, and here he is. |
| 00:37:50 |
So, you're the... |
| 00:37:52 |
Mo...mo...mo... |
| 00:37:56 |
Most...most...most excellent agent we've ever seen. |
| 00:38:00 |
Yes, the most excellent agent we've ever seen. Thank you. |
| 00:38:04 |
Thank you. |
| 00:38:06 |
Now I wasn't able to get the exact location. |
| 00:38:08 |
But I did learn that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair outside Tokyo, Japan. |
| 00:38:15 |
By the way I realize that I have a large mole on my face. |
| 00:38:19 |
Where? What? Where's that mole? I didn't see one. |
| 00:38:26 |
I also realize the ironi, that I am myself...a mole. |
| 00:38:30 |
No one would make that connection. |
| 00:38:35 |
Anyway...well done, old chap. Jolly good work. |
| 00:38:39 |
Nice to mole you...meet you! |
| 00:38:41 |
- Nice to meet you, Mole! Don't say mole. |
| 00:38:44 |
- I said mole. |
| 00:38:49 |
- Bye |
| 00:38:54 |
Mole! |
| 00:38:59 |
Mole! |
| 00:39:00 |
Oh, shut up! |
| 00:39:04 |
Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley! |
| 00:39:21 |
Up periscope. |
| 00:39:28 |
Ladies and gentlemen. |
| 00:39:29 |
Welcome to my new submarine lair. |
| 00:39:34 |
It's long and hard, and full of seamen. |
| 00:39:41 |
Nothing? |
| 00:39:42 |
No? |
| 00:39:43 |
Not even a titter? |
| 00:39:45 |
Tough sub. |
| 00:39:46 |
- Dr. Evil, You look very toit! Yesh, toit like a toiger! Yesh Yesh Yesh! |
| 00:39:52 |
Yesh, you look like a "macho-man". |
| 00:39:54 |
Village People. |
| 00:39:56 |
You know, Goldmember? |
| 00:39:57 |
I don't think that's something one dude should say to another dude! |
| 00:40:00 |
Yeah! A little creepy! |
| 00:40:03 |
Ooh yesh! Yesh yesh yesh yesh! This is a keeper! |
| 00:40:09 |
Alright... you're not going to put that skin in your mouth, are you? |
| 00:40:14 |
You did... ok... that's just gross! |
| 00:40:18 |
Yesh, salty! Yesh that was good! |
| 00:40:20 |
Ladies and gentlemen. |
| 00:40:24 |
As you know. |
| 00:40:25 |
We've been designing a "tractorbeam". |
| 00:40:28 |
Code name Preparation H. |
| 00:40:31 |
It's powerful enough to pull the meteor..."Midas 22". |
| 00:40:36 |
Into a collision course with the Earth, - |
| 00:40:38 |
- upon entering the atmosphere the hot ball of magma. |
| 00:40:42 |
Will strike and melt the polar icecaps, causing a global flood. |
| 00:40:46 |
But enough of my technical mumbo-jumbo. |
| 00:40:48 |
Allow me to demonstrate. |
| 00:40:55 |
Lower the globe. |
| 00:40:56 |
Lower the globe! |
| 00:40:59 |
Av, av... |
| 00:41:01 |
Scheisse. |
| 00:41:02 |
Well, congratulations numb nuts... - |
| 00:41:05 |
- you've succeeded in turning me into a frickin' Jack in the box! |
| 00:41:09 |
Get it off. Get it off! It's dark. It's dark. |
| 00:41:11 |
I'm okay, I'm okay. |
| 00:41:14 |
Release the meteor. |
| 00:41:16 |
Release the meteor! |
| 00:41:23 |
No way! |
| 00:41:24 |
Right in the kanickies! |
| 00:41:26 |
God dammit! |
| 00:41:29 |
Guys! |
| 00:41:31 |
Way to go a-hole! |
| 00:41:32 |
All right hold on, let me try to find my balls for God's sakes! |
| 00:41:36 |
One, two... and three, okay. I'm okay! |
| 00:41:41 |
Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurances policy. |
| 00:41:45 |
May I present to you the very sexual, the very toite. |
| 00:41:49 |
Austin Powers fassia. |
| 00:41:53 |
His what? |
| 00:41:54 |
His fassia Dr. Evil. |
| 00:41:55 |
His ferder? |
| 00:41:58 |
- What's a ferder? |
| 00:42:01 |
Yeah Goldmember, I dont speak freaky-deaky dutch. |
| 00:42:05 |
Okay perv boy? |
| 00:42:06 |
Fassia, his dad, dad is fassia. |
| 00:42:08 |
Oh his dad, oh his FATHER. |
| 00:42:12 |
Yes, that's the right accent. |
| 00:42:13 |
Isn't that wierd. |
| 00:42:15 |
Father, father. |
| 00:42:17 |
- Ah, Nigel Powers. |
| 00:42:24 |
Bring him to me! |
| 00:42:25 |
Easy peasy lemon squeezy! |
| 00:42:29 |
Put the guns down. Is this the first day on the job or something? |
| 00:42:32 |
Look, this is how it goes... You attack me one at a time. |
| 00:42:36 |
And I knock you out in a single punch. Okay, go! |
| 00:42:39 |
Oh, he's good. |
| 00:42:42 |
Do you know who I am? |
| 00:42:44 |
Have you any idea how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years? |
| 00:42:48 |
And look at you. You haven't even got a name tag. |
| 00:42:50 |
You got no chance! |
| 00:42:52 |
Why don't you just fall down? |
| 00:42:56 |
Alright, Dr. Evil give yourself up, while you still got a chance. |
| 00:43:02 |
Okay, okay. You got me. |
| 00:43:05 |
Nigel Powers, meet...Mini-Me. |
| 00:43:09 |
Oh, blimey. I though I smelled cabbage. |
| 00:43:12 |
Take hime away! |
| 00:43:14 |
Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? |
| 00:43:18 |
It's kindda my thing, you know? |
| 00:43:26 |
How about no, you crazy Dutch bastard! |
| 00:43:31 |
Attention henchmen. It's health week. Don't forget your physical. Dr. Evil's orders. |
| 00:43:40 |
You know, I think it's a shame the way they treat you. |
| 00:43:43 |
Just because you're one-eight their size. |
| 00:43:46 |
Doesn't mean you deserve one-eight of their respect. |
| 00:43:51 |
Mini fella. I'm...I'm curious. |
| 00:43:56 |
Is everything in proportion. |
| 00:44:00 |
You know your bobby dangler, - |
| 00:44:02 |
your general, two colonels. |
| 00:44:03 |
Your giggle stick, master of ceremonies. |
| 00:44:06 |
Yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. |
| 00:44:14 |
My word! You're a tripod. |
| 00:44:19 |
What do you feed that thing? It's like a baby's arm holding an apple. |
| 00:44:24 |
The good news is. If you ever get tired. |
| 00:44:27 |
You can use it as a kick-stand. |
| 00:44:33 |
I think we both know who the real brain is behind this operation. |
| 00:44:52 |
Tokyo, a go go, baby, yeah! |
| 00:44:57 |
What's kicking, Basil? |
| 00:44:58 |
A lot's kicking, Foxxy. |
| 00:45:00 |
Austin? |
| 00:45:01 |
One of Dr. Evil's henchmen has been spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena. |
| 00:45:05 |
- See there immediately. |
| 00:45:14 |
Ah, Jesus Christ, this diaper is making my nuts rub together. |
| 00:45:19 |
It's gonna start a fire! |
| 00:45:22 |
That's Fat Bastard! |
| 00:45:39 |
Do you know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is? |
| 00:45:42 |
TWISTER! |
| 00:45:54 |
- That's not right. |
| 00:45:57 |
Are we done here? I've gotta take a crap. |
| 00:46:02 |
Wait a tic. Something doesn't smell right. |
| 00:46:06 |
And I think it's Fat Bastard. |
| 00:46:25 |
You okay, Austin? |
| 00:46:26 |
Sound as a pound, love. |
| 00:46:31 |
I didn't have any corn! |
| 00:46:48 |
Hey diaper-lady! Here's my diaper. |
| 00:46:53 |
I think I might have pinched one off to soon. |
| 00:46:59 |
I left a rosebud in there for you. |
| 00:47:10 |
You really are a fat bastard! |
| 00:47:12 |
You know, that hurts my feelings. I'm trying to go on a diet, you know. |
| 00:47:16 |
The zoan. You know curbs are the enemy. |
| 00:47:22 |
Oh...who's your friend? |
| 00:47:27 |
Oh, I liked to have a go with that filly. |
| 00:47:31 |
Do you find me sexy? |
| 00:47:33 |
Look at my titties! |
| 00:47:36 |
Shut your mouth! |
| 00:47:40 |
Alright, that's enough! |
| 00:47:41 |
- Okay, you got me, put it there, would you? |
| 00:47:50 |
Come here, you! |
| 00:47:52 |
Oh, my titties! |
| 00:47:55 |
You give me a nipple! |
| 00:48:02 |
I've got you now! |
| 00:48:05 |
Come here you! |
| 00:48:12 |
Prepare for the ultimate wire-fighting manoeuvre! |
| 00:48:17 |
I just hope my wire-fighting team is ready! |
| 00:48:39 |
- Cranky! |
| 00:48:44 |
One of my wires broke. |
| 00:48:53 |
Your under arrest, sugar! |
| 00:48:56 |
Okay, Fat Bastard, who's the Japanese cat you make a exchange with? |
| 00:49:01 |
All right. His name is Roboto. |
| 00:49:04 |
He owns Roboto Industries. |
| 00:49:07 |
He's designing some contraption for Dr. Evil...I don't know... |
| 00:49:11 |
- The tractorbeam. |
| 00:49:13 |
That's it! |
| 00:49:14 |
Listen, do you honestly think that crime can pay? |
| 00:49:17 |
Well, to be honest with you, I've been trying to go legit. |
| 00:49:21 |
I really take my sumo wrestling seriously, you know. |
| 00:49:25 |
But when you are an overweight child. |
| 00:49:28 |
In this society that demands perfection. |
| 00:49:32 |
Like your sense of right, wrong, fair and unfair. |
| 00:49:38 |
We'll always be tragically scud. |
| 00:49:47 |
Did you just soil yourself? |
| 00:49:49 |
Maybe. |
| 00:49:52 |
It did sound a little wet, didn't it, right in the end, uhh... |
| 00:49:56 |
Let's have a smell, alright. |
| 00:49:58 |
Wafting, wafting. |
| 00:50:00 |
Well, everyone likes there own brand, don't they? This is magic! |
| 00:50:03 |
Alright, analysis. |
| 00:50:06 |
Smells like carrots and throw up. |
| 00:50:09 |
That could gag a maggot! |
| 00:50:10 |
Smells like hot, sick arse and a dead carcass. |
| 00:50:16 |
Even stink would say that that stinks! |
| 00:50:19 |
You know when you go to the apartment building, - |
| 00:50:21 |
- and you smell others people's cookin' on each floor, - |
| 00:50:24 |
- and you go: "What are they cookin'". |
| 00:50:25 |
That, plus crap! |
| 00:50:35 |
- Hey pa! |
| 00:50:40 |
I got you a present. |
| 00:50:41 |
Really? |
| 00:50:43 |
Open the tank. |
| 00:50:44 |
Open the tank! |
| 00:50:51 |
Are those sharks with laserbeams attached to their heads? |
| 00:50:59 |
Cool! |
| 00:51:01 |
You mean I actually have fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams |
| 00:51:06 |
You're the best evil son an evil dad could ever ask for. |
| 00:51:11 |
I love you, dad. |
| 00:51:16 |
I love you, son. |
| 00:51:19 |
Starting moment... |
| 00:51:20 |
Scotty! Come here. |
| 00:51:23 |
Pop a squat, right next to daddy! |
| 00:51:28 |
Mini-Me, move down the bench. |
| 00:51:34 |
There's a power struggle. |
| 00:51:41 |
Scotty's on fire! |
| 00:51:45 |
Alright, it's getting crowded in here. |
| 00:51:47 |
Everyone out, everyone out, come on! |
| 00:51:49 |
Not you, Scotty. |
| 00:51:50 |
Not you, Number 2. |
| 00:51:51 |
Not you, Frau. |
| 00:51:52 |
Not you, Goldmember. |
| 00:51:53 |
Not you guys back there. |
| 00:51:54 |
Not you henchman holding wrench. |
| 00:51:57 |
Not you henchman arbitrarily turning knobs making it seam like your doing something. |
| 00:52:13 |
This is uncomfortable! |
| 00:52:15 |
The tiny one can't take a hint. |
| 00:52:19 |
He doesn't understand, He's small. |
| 00:52:38 |
Hello Foxxy. Austin. |
| 00:52:40 |
We've comfirmed what Fat Bastard told you about Roboto is accurate. |
| 00:52:44 |
He was hired by Dr. Evil to contruct Preparation H. |
| 00:52:48 |
So Roboto had the technology to build Goldmember's tractorbeam. |
| 00:52:51 |
Which means Roboto will lead us to Goldmember. |
| 00:52:53 |
Which means Goldmember will lead us to my father. |
| 00:53:16 |
- You speak Japanese? |
| 00:53:18 |
Well you might be a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debator. |
| 00:53:25 |
I'm looking for my father. He was kidnapped. |
| 00:53:32 |
Please eat what? |
| 00:53:34 |
Wait. He said: "Please eat some shitake mushrooms." |
| 00:53:40 |
Tell me. What do you know about...s...my father's where...about...s. |
| 00:53:56 |
You're ass is happy? |
| 00:53:58 |
No! |
| 00:54:02 |
He said: "Your assignment is an unhappy one". |
| 00:54:09 |
Nice potty-mouth, dirtbag. |
| 00:54:17 |
Yes. Quite off topic, thank you very much. |
| 00:54:20 |
Why don't I just speak in English? |
| 00:54:23 |
That would be a good idea, now wouldn't it? |
| 00:54:26 |
That way I wouldn't miss-read the subtitles - |
| 00:54:27 |
- making you it seem like you're saying that are dirty. |
| 00:54:31 |
I'm sorry to hear about your father. But I can't help you. |
| 00:54:36 |
Please excuse me. |
| 00:54:37 |
I have another appointment. |
| 00:54:44 |
By the way... |
| 00:54:50 |
Mr. Roboto is lying to us. |
| 00:54:52 |
Tell me something I don't know. |
| 00:54:53 |
I open-mouth kissed a horse once. |
| 00:54:55 |
- Say-what? |
| 00:54:57 |
My spider-senses tells me that my father is still in this building. |
| 00:55:00 |
You keep a look out. I'm gonna try to sneak in. |
| 00:57:08 |
Sha-zam! |
| 00:57:10 |
Come on, sugar. |
| 00:57:17 |
There is Goldmember and Roboto. |
| 00:57:18 |
Yesh. Very impressive put Preparation H into my stooping transporten. |
| 00:57:26 |
You need this to tone the tractorbeam. |
| 00:57:28 |
It's a gold key. |
| 00:57:32 |
Smarty pants. |
| 00:57:34 |
Let's spread out. |
| 00:57:40 |
Hands up, Goldmember! |
| 00:57:41 |
It's payback time. |
| 00:57:44 |
Sure you can kill me. |
| 00:57:45 |
But then, what happens to Austin Powers' fassia? |
| 00:57:57 |
Dad! |
| 00:57:58 |
Yesh! And now he's going to have an unfortunate smelting accident. |
| 00:58:10 |
Don't worry dad! I'm here to rescue you. |
| 00:58:14 |
May I point out, that last time around you fell into to an obvious trap. |
| 00:58:17 |
Now your're trying to save me instead of stopping Goldmember. |
| 00:58:20 |
Please, I'm not gonna let Goldmember get away! |
| 00:58:23 |
Austin, Goldmember is getting away. |
| 00:58:30 |
Hello, hello, aren't you gonna introduce us Austin? |
| 00:58:34 |
Foxxy, this is... |
| 00:58:35 |
Powers. Nigel Powers. |
| 00:58:37 |
Is that Eau de Fleuratia your wearing? |
| 00:58:40 |
Yes, it is. |
| 00:58:41 |
That's how a woman should smell. |
| 00:58:43 |
Especially one as beautiful as you. |
| 00:58:45 |
My my...even in the face of danger you live up to your reputation. |
| 00:58:51 |
Get on with it! |
| 00:58:57 |
I got an idea. |
| 00:59:03 |
Your spycar is a mini. |
| 00:59:04 |
It's not the size mate. |
| 00:59:06 |
It's how you use it. |
| 00:59:30 |
You know I would have found my way out, very well. |
| 00:59:32 |
What? I saved your life! |
| 00:59:34 |
Listen. |
| 00:59:34 |
Should have been doing your job! |
| 00:59:35 |
Oh, your welcome, mate. |
| 00:59:36 |
Shut up and turn around, please! |
| 01:00:05 |
Run! It's Godzilla! |
| 01:00:08 |
It looks like Godzilla. |
| 01:00:09 |
But due to International Copyright Laws...it's not. |
| 01:00:12 |
Still we should run, like it is Godzilla! |
| 01:00:14 |
Though it isn't. |
| 01:00:21 |
There is Goldmember. |
| 01:00:28 |
Greater-greater one-niner, this is Goldie-van. Over. |
| 01:00:32 |
10-4 there, Goldie-van this is Rubber-ducky, what's your ten-twenty? Over. |
| 01:00:36 |
I've got Preparation H in rear and smoke |
| 01:00:42 |
Yee-haa. Copy that you son-of-a-bitch powder of monkeynuts. |
| 01:00:47 |
Open wide there Rubber-ducky, I'm entering your mouth now. Over. |
| 01:00:58 |
Great, Goldmember got away. |
| 01:01:00 |
Now what? |
| 01:01:01 |
I think it's obvious, we should take Dr. Evil's lair by force. |
| 01:01:04 |
- You can be my backup, son. |
| 01:01:07 |
Well that's fairly condescending. |
| 01:01:08 |
Do you think Dr. Evil's is gonna expect an attack? |
| 01:01:11 |
We should infiltrate his lair. |
| 01:01:13 |
It's aint my first rodeo, cowboy. |
| 01:01:15 |
We need commandos, scuba...gadgets for god-sake. |
| 01:01:19 |
Well, I don't like to use gadgets. |
| 01:01:22 |
Outside the bedroom, I thank you... |
| 01:01:28 |
You know. I think being frozen, damaged your brain. |
| 01:01:32 |
Really? And how would you know? |
| 01:01:34 |
This is the most time we ever spent together, since...ever! |
| 01:01:39 |
What are you saying, son? |
| 01:01:42 |
What boy learned to drive a car with machineguns on it? |
| 01:01:45 |
Or had a helicopter you could fit in a nutsack? |
| 01:01:48 |
What about you Swedish nanny, Helga? |
| 01:01:51 |
Oh, yes, Helga! |
| 01:01:52 |
Let's say I didn't hire her for the cooking. |
| 01:01:55 |
She stayed on, until you were 24. |
| 01:01:59 |
We were mates you and I. |
| 01:02:01 |
I didn't need a friend. |
| 01:02:02 |
I needed a father. |
| 01:02:05 |
You know I have risked my life trying to save you. |
| 01:02:07 |
And you still don't give me any respect. |
| 01:02:09 |
Respect? Come on. |
| 01:02:11 |
If you got an issue, here's your tissue. |
| 01:02:21 |
That is not funny. |
| 01:02:24 |
Well, I suppose we better go our seperate ways then? |
| 01:02:29 |
Fine. |
| 01:02:33 |
Fine. |
| 01:02:46 |
So. I've been assigned to welcome you to the Ministry of Defense. |
| 01:02:49 |
I have a letter from my director personally thanking you for switching sides. |
| 01:02:59 |
I...can't wait to inform Austin of your defection. |
| 01:03:07 |
Oh. Hello Basil. |
| 01:03:09 |
Yes, Austin should be here any second. |
| 01:03:12 |
Yes, I'm in Austin's hotel room right now. |
| 01:03:23 |
Assasin! |
| 01:03:28 |
Try to kill me will ya? |
| 01:03:32 |
Oh. You wanna be friends, huh? |
| 01:03:35 |
Wait a tick. |
| 01:03:41 |
I'm not falling for that again! |
| 01:03:52 |
But, at least he didn't mention it. |
| 01:03:54 |
Yes, I realize he can't talk. |
| 01:03:57 |
Listen I think Dr. Evil treated him badly. |
| 01:03:58 |
And that's why he has decided to help us. |
| 01:04:06 |
Come back here, you little bugger. |
| 01:04:13 |
Oh, yes. I'm sure Austin and Mini-Me, will get along famously. |
| 01:04:17 |
I guarantee nothing will happen to Mini-Me in my watch. |
| 01:04:25 |
Come here you bugger, I got ya. |
| 01:04:31 |
Oh, I think he and Austin will be united - |
| 01:04:33 |
- in their commitment to the mission of stopping Dr. Evil. |
| 01:04:40 |
Austin. There you are. |
| 01:04:42 |
I have come to tell you the good news. |
| 01:04:48 |
Mini-Me has... |
| 01:04:51 |
- switched sides. |
| 01:04:55 |
Sorry about that, old chap. |
| 01:04:59 |
Welcome aboard. |
| 01:05:02 |
My mole-stake. |
| 01:05:04 |
What was that? |
| 01:05:05 |
Listen. Just get it out of you system. |
| 01:05:07 |
- No I'm fine. |
| 01:05:09 |
We could work together better if you just... |
| 01:05:10 |
Mole! |
| 01:05:11 |
Bloody mole! |
| 01:05:12 |
We are not supposed to talk about the bloody mole, - |
| 01:05:14 |
- but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face! |
| 01:05:17 |
I'm gonna chop it off, and cut it off. |
| 01:05:18 |
And make some guacamole! |
| 01:05:23 |
- Better? |
| 01:05:38 |
So you decided to join us, huh, Mini-Me? |
| 01:05:42 |
And welcome to the good side, my mini-brother. |
| 01:05:44 |
And thank you for the map for Dr. Evil's sub. |
| 01:05:48 |
What's this? |
| 01:05:49 |
It says: "Dr. Evil's tractorbeam is now complete" - |
| 01:05:52 |
- "there is not much time. Dr. Evil must pay!" |
| 01:06:00 |
"You are so beautiful." |
| 01:06:01 |
"Are you a clone of an angel?" |
| 01:06:04 |
That is so sweet! |
| 01:06:06 |
But no my mini-man, I'm not. |
| 01:06:11 |
"Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you?" |
| 01:06:14 |
Yeah I'm sure. |
| 01:06:16 |
"Would you like to...?" |
| 01:06:21 |
Holy bugger! |
| 01:06:23 |
That is so not funny. |
| 01:06:26 |
Okay, everyone prepare to dive. |
| 01:06:27 |
This spycar is also a submarine. |
| 01:06:45 |
Get me the World Organization. |
| 01:06:49 |
What is it, Dr. Evil? |
| 01:06:51 |
Gentlemen. In a matter of hours a meteor will crash into Earth causing a global flood. |
| 01:06:56 |
That is of course unless you pay me. |
| 01:07:00 |
1 billion-gezillion-fefillion...- |
| 01:07:07 |
- million...yen. |
| 01:07:09 |
I think you're bluffing. |
| 01:07:11 |
Well perhaps you would like a demonstration? Number 2 the key, please. |
| 01:07:36 |
Sir, Dr. Evil is not bluffing. |
| 01:07:38 |
One of our satellites is falling out of orbit. |
| 01:07:40 |
Which one? |
| 01:07:41 |
It's the one that looks like a pair of... |
| 01:07:42 |
Melons! Big juicy melons! |
| 01:07:46 |
Are they nice and ferm? |
| 01:07:48 |
Well, what do you think? |
| 01:07:50 |
Look at that! |
| 01:07:51 |
It looks like a set of giant... |
| 01:07:54 |
Hey, A and N you're late. How're we doin.. |
| 01:07:58 |
Go Titans! Check it out. Those remind me of... |
| 01:08:03 |
Boobs! |
| 01:08:04 |
Boobs, Ozzy? |
| 01:08:05 |
These film makers is just *BEEP* boobs! |
| 01:08:09 |
What do you mean, dad? |
| 01:08:10 |
Well they use the same *BEEP* jokes, as they did in the last Austin Powers movie. |
| 01:08:14 |
What *BEEP* joke? |
| 01:08:16 |
You know the *BEEP* joke about the long smooth rocket that looks likes some guy's... |
| 01:08:19 |
Johnson! |
| 01:08:21 |
- Yes, sir? |
| 01:08:23 |
No, sir. It's gone. |
| 01:08:25 |
Gentlemen, you have my demands, peace out! |
| 01:09:01 |
Cool, baby. You look very switched on. |
| 01:09:05 |
Thank you, Austin. |
| 01:09:10 |
No Mini-Me! Off! Bad! No humping! |
| 01:09:16 |
Dr. Evil. In light of success of the device. |
| 01:09:18 |
It is japanese custom that I recieve a bonus. |
| 01:09:22 |
A bonus? |
| 01:09:24 |
That's good. Yeah. |
| 01:09:27 |
Throw me a freakin' bonus here! |
| 01:09:32 |
I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl, thank you! |
| 01:09:36 |
Oh, you're nok joking. |
| 01:09:39 |
No! In fact if you don't give me the bonus... |
| 01:09:41 |
- Hey guys! |
| 01:09:51 |
- Why don't you let me take care of this? |
| 01:10:05 |
That's the evil laugh. |
| 01:10:09 |
Scotty! |
| 01:10:11 |
Scotty! |
| 01:10:14 |
Scotty. Take it down a notch. |
| 01:10:19 |
It's creepin' a bit. |
| 01:10:21 |
Let's go. |
| 01:10:26 |
We will need a disguise. |
| 01:10:29 |
There's only one uniform. |
| 01:10:31 |
One of us has to go, on the other one's shoulders. |
| 01:10:47 |
Hey there buddy how's it going? |
| 01:10:48 |
Good to see, ya. |
| 01:10:50 |
Yeah, yeah...hi! |
| 01:10:57 |
Hello. You alright? |
| 01:10:58 |
Yes it's a good hat. Very good hat. |
| 01:11:02 |
Come on Mini-Me, let's go. |
| 01:11:05 |
Hold it right there, mister. |
| 01:11:10 |
Did you really think that you could get away with this? |
| 01:11:13 |
I did actually, yes. |
| 01:11:15 |
Every new recruit must have a physical. |
| 01:11:18 |
Now get in here sailor. |
| 01:11:20 |
I'm going to need an urine sample. |
| 01:11:24 |
Okay. |
| 01:11:33 |
Okay, then. |
| 01:11:50 |
Hello. |
| 01:11:57 |
And here we go. |
| 01:12:07 |
- Terrific. |
| 01:12:09 |
Alright sailor. Go behind that screen and strip down to your skippies. |
| 01:12:15 |
Alright then, I'll just go to that screen. |
| 01:12:19 |
Which is over there. |
| 01:12:25 |
Right behind that screen. |
| 01:12:31 |
Come on, hurry the map. |
| 01:12:34 |
Okay, what's on the map. |
| 01:12:38 |
I'm going to need an urine sample. |
| 01:12:41 |
Which way to the main chamber? |
| 01:13:00 |
Okay. So...sure. |
| 01:13:15 |
Excuse me, doctor? |
| 01:13:16 |
It's difficult in public, isn't it? |
| 01:13:25 |
Mini-Me, our shadows, we're casting a shadow. |
| 01:13:28 |
What's wrong, sailor? |
| 01:13:30 |
You should check that guy out! |
| 01:13:38 |
What the hell is going on here? |
| 01:13:42 |
Hands up. |
| 01:13:46 |
You heard me, I said hands up! |
| 01:13:48 |
Both of you! |
| 01:14:01 |
Come with me! |
| 01:14:02 |
Mini-Me, the map. Go! |
| 01:14:06 |
Okay, you got me. |
| 01:14:19 |
Are you alright, little man? |
| 01:14:25 |
Right on! |
| 01:14:42 |
Mr. Powers. |
| 01:14:44 |
Before I kill you. Perhaps you would like to see the genius of my plan. |
| 01:14:51 |
Key, please. |
| 01:14:56 |
What the? Who? But how? Where? |
| 01:15:02 |
Looking for this? |
| 01:15:06 |
Mini-Me? |
| 01:15:07 |
Alright, everybody, drop your guns. |
| 01:15:09 |
Because Foxxy Cleopatra is in the sub. |
| 01:15:11 |
Smashing, Foxxy! Yeah! |
| 01:15:19 |
Alright, Dr. Evil. |
| 01:15:21 |
It has finally come down to this. |
| 01:15:24 |
You, me and the gun. |
| 01:15:30 |
What are you going to do now, Austin? |
| 01:15:34 |
Dad? |
| 01:15:36 |
What are you doing here? |
| 01:15:38 |
I gotta finish this off once and for all. |
| 01:15:43 |
I'm afraid you can't do that. |
| 01:15:45 |
I have to protect my son. |
| 01:15:47 |
Dad, I'm fine. |
| 01:15:49 |
I'm not talking about you. |
| 01:15:52 |
I'm talking about...him. |
| 01:15:58 |
What? |
| 01:16:00 |
Dr. Evil is not your son. |
| 01:16:02 |
I am. |
| 01:16:04 |
You both are. |
| 01:16:08 |
What? |
| 01:16:09 |
It was our first...family holiday together. |
| 01:16:13 |
Just as I was finishing a case. |
| 01:16:15 |
Your mother brought the two of you to Belgium. |
| 01:16:21 |
I stopped to have a tinkle. |
| 01:16:23 |
When the car... |
| 01:16:34 |
But, my parents died in a car accident. |
| 01:16:39 |
It was no accident. |
| 01:16:41 |
Ìt was an assasination attempt. |
| 01:16:44 |
I though only Austin survived. |
| 01:16:46 |
I should have told you the truth earlier. |
| 01:16:48 |
But those Belgians, they made you so damn...evil. |
| 01:16:54 |
Of course they share border with Dutch. |
| 01:16:58 |
Very interesting story, Mr. Powers. |
| 01:17:02 |
Of course, I'm gonna have to wait until I see all the facts. |
| 01:17:05 |
Daddy! |
| 01:17:10 |
Daddy is here, Ducky. |
| 01:17:12 |
Ducky, ducky? |
| 01:17:14 |
Ducky remember, Ducky...? |
| 01:17:15 |
Dad, what's going on? |
| 01:17:20 |
What are you going to do Austin? |
| 01:17:35 |
Austin! |
| 01:17:37 |
Are you sure you can trust, Dr. Evil? |
| 01:17:40 |
He ain't heavy. |
| 01:17:43 |
He's my brother, baby, yeah! |
| 01:17:48 |
I should have told you this so long ago, son. |
| 01:17:52 |
I'm very proud of you. |
| 01:17:55 |
Can you forgive me? |
| 01:17:57 |
I forgive you dad. |
| 01:18:22 |
I'm Ducky! I'm Ducky! |
| 01:18:37 |
Oh, come on! |
| 01:18:40 |
I mean first I'm not evil enough for you. |
| 01:18:42 |
And now you're gonna turn good? |
| 01:18:45 |
Listen, Scott. |
| 01:18:46 |
You can spend your whole life - |
| 01:18:48 |
- trying to win your parents acceptance. Believe me! |
| 01:18:52 |
But at the end of the day you just gotta do it for yourself, baby. |
| 01:18:57 |
Hey, Austin... |
| 01:18:59 |
What? |
| 01:19:00 |
I hate you. |
| 01:19:02 |
I hate you! |
| 01:19:04 |
I hate you! |
| 01:19:06 |
I don't even know you, but I hate you too. |
| 01:19:09 |
And I especially hate you! |
| 01:19:13 |
You'll pay. |
| 01:19:15 |
You'll all pay! |
| 01:19:21 |
I'd like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl. |
| 01:19:25 |
Not so fast, smarty pants! |
| 01:19:28 |
Dr. Evil! |
| 01:19:30 |
You might not want to destroy the world. |
| 01:19:32 |
But I do! |
| 01:19:35 |
Preparation H goes ahead as planned. |
| 01:19:38 |
I got to flood the Earth! |
| 01:19:41 |
Think again, Goldmember. |
| 01:19:43 |
Huh, Foxxy Cleopatra. |
| 01:19:45 |
It's a shame I had to kill your partner. |
| 01:19:48 |
- Too bad for you. |
| 01:19:52 |
How about too bad for you? |
| 01:19:54 |
Oh no! |
| 01:20:02 |
Luckily I keep a spare. |
| 01:20:11 |
Look everyone! My winky was a key! |
| 01:20:15 |
Oh dear, bloody Dutchman. |
| 01:20:23 |
Foxxy, I'm coming! |
| 01:20:25 |
Don't do anything stupid or the shooting begins. |
| 01:20:29 |
Austin, take Ducky I'll stay here and be your backup. |
| 01:20:33 |
Ducky, what do we do? |
| 01:20:34 |
I'm not really a "hands-on-evil-genius". |
| 01:20:37 |
Think you were always the smart one. |
| 01:20:40 |
I could re-write the output capacity to the tractorbeam - |
| 01:20:44 |
- from one of the conduit boxes up there. |
| 01:20:46 |
Come on, let's go. |
| 01:20:53 |
Yesh! The shooting begins. |
| 01:20:59 |
Let me shoot! |
| 01:21:06 |
You know, Dr. Evil. I used to think you were crazy. |
| 01:21:09 |
I know. |
| 01:21:10 |
But now I can see your nuts. I thank you. |
| 01:21:31 |
Hurry! |
| 01:21:35 |
Fassia, fassia, fassia, fassia, fassia. |
| 01:21:38 |
Fassia can you here me? |
| 01:21:40 |
Fassia, fassia... |
| 01:21:52 |
Well done, Austin! |
| 01:21:54 |
You saved the world again. |
| 01:21:58 |
Thank you. |
| 01:22:01 |
Austin, you did it. |
| 01:22:03 |
We did it! |
| 01:22:04 |
Yeah, baby! |
| 01:22:08 |
No? Just trying it on. |
| 01:22:13 |
Goldmember, you're under arrest, sugar. |
| 01:22:19 |
Hey assholes! Do I have time for a last smoke and a pancake or what? |
| 01:22:30 |
I'm from Holland! Isn't that wierd? |
| 01:22:37 |
Yes, well done! |
| 01:23:04 |
Hey Powers! |
| 01:23:09 |
Fat Bastard? |
| 01:23:11 |
But you are not fat anymore. |
| 01:23:13 |
I'm on the subway diet. |
| 01:23:16 |
I've lost a 180 pounds. |
| 01:23:19 |
Congratulations, baby. |
| 01:23:20 |
Thank you. |
| 01:23:21 |
I do have a little bit of excess skin though. |
| 01:23:26 |
But unfortunately my neck does look like a vagina. |
| 01:23:43 |
Austin. |
| 01:23:45 |
Thank you, for eveything. |
| 01:23:56 |
Sha-zam! |
| 01:24:08 |
I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers. |
| 01:24:32 |
MORE TO COME... |
| 01:24:42 |
Well they are using the same *BEEP* joke - |
| 01:24:44 |
- as they used in the last Austin Powers film...movie...oh I'm sorry. |
| 01:24:48 |
Well they are using the...the...what... |
| 01:24:50 |
Well they are using the same joke, as they... |
| 01:24:54 |
W...what do you mean? |
| 01:24:56 |
Boobs, Ozzy? |
| 01:24:58 |
Stop... |
| 01:25:01 |
Oh, don't start this Kelly, don't you worry about... |
| 01:25:07 |
On the mark! |
| 01:25:07 |
On the mark? |
| 01:25:09 |
I don't like that noise I'm getting all turned on. |
| 01:25:12 |
My testeron is going dancing... |
| 01:25:15 |
Get off me! |
| 01:25:21 |
Is...is it true what they say about you? |
| 01:25:27 |
Kickstand? Really? Can I give you my cellphone number? |
| 01:25:33 |
Please? |
| 01:25:37 |
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach. |
| 01:26:22 |
:::: SUBS BY LIGHTKEEPER :::: |
