South Park Bigger Longer Uncut

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00:00:33 There's a bunch of birds in the sky
00:00:39 And some deers just went running by
00:00:45 Oh, the snow's pure and white
00:00:48 On the earth, rich and brown
00:00:53 Just another Sunday morning
00:00:56 In my quiet mountain town
00:01:05 The sun is shining
00:01:07 Under the three feet of snow, I mean
00:01:09 This is the day
00:01:13 All the happy people stop to say hello
00:01:15 Get out of my way!
00:01:16 Even though the temperature's low
00:01:18 It's a perfect Sunday morning
00:01:23 Well, good morning, Stan.
00:01:24 - Mom, can I have $8 to see a movie?
00:01:27 Yeah, it's gonna be the best movie ever!
00:01:30 All right, here you go.
00:01:31 - But be back for supper.
00:01:34 Oh, what a picture-perfect child
00:01:36 Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild
00:01:38 He'd wear a smile
00:01:42 What an angel
00:01:45 And a mind so open and pure
00:01:47 Thank God we live in this quiet
00:01:52 Dude! Dude, wake up!
00:01:57 Kenny, come on!
00:02:00 Kenny, the Terrance and Phillip
00:02:04 Where do you think you're going?
00:02:07 You can't! You have to go to church!
00:02:10 Well, fine,
00:02:12 And then when you die and go to hell,
00:02:18 You can see your breath
00:02:20 You see homeless people
00:02:22 It's a sea of smiles
00:02:30 That's right
00:02:32 In our quiet little white-bread
00:02:38 - Ready, lke? Kick the baby!
00:02:41 Kick the baby.
00:02:43 Ike, you broke another window!
00:02:48 Kyle, we're going to
00:02:51 Oh, my God, dude!
00:02:52 - Kyle, where are you going?
00:02:55 Well, take your little brother
00:02:57 Oh, Mom. He's not even my real brother.
00:02:59 Do as I say, Kyle!
00:03:00 Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!
00:03:04 Look at those frail and fragile boys
00:03:08 The world is such a rotten place
00:03:13 That's why I moved
00:03:15 Quiet mountain town
00:03:21 lke! Bad baby!
00:03:23 This program is brought to you
00:03:25 the creamy fun of smores
00:03:27 Mom! Somebody's at the door!
00:03:29 - Coming, hon.
00:03:32 It's been six weeks since
00:03:34 by a pack of wild boars
00:03:35 and the world is still glad
00:03:37 - Look, Eric, it's your little friends.
00:03:40 What are you guys doing here?
00:03:42 Sweet, dude! Yes! Yes!
00:03:45 Off to the movies we shall go
00:03:48 Where we learn everything
00:03:51 'Cause the movies teach us
00:03:55 And this movie's gonna make
00:03:58 'Cause Terrance and Phillip
00:04:00 Super sweet.
00:04:01 Thank God we live in the quiet
00:04:06 U.S.A.
00:04:11 Can I have five tickets to
00:04:15 No.
00:04:18 What do you mean, no?
00:04:19 Terrance and Phillip Asses of Fire
00:04:21 by the Motion Picture
00:04:23 You have to be accompanied
00:04:25 - But why?
00:04:26 has naughty language!
00:04:27 Next, please.
00:04:30 - This can't be happening!
00:04:33 Screw it!
00:04:35 Cartman, what are you talking about?
00:04:37 Yeah, but the animation's all crappy.
00:04:41 Wait, I've got an idea!
00:04:44 Hi, I want six tickets to Asses of Fire.
00:04:47 This movie might not be
00:04:49 Hey, he says this movie
00:04:51 Look, Mr. Homeless Guy,
00:04:54 and not get your 10 bucks and
00:04:56 then be my guest.
00:04:57 Six tickets, please.
00:05:02 - Let me have some candy, Cartman.
00:05:04 Nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
00:05:06 Like you really need all that
00:05:09 The movie's starting.
00:05:15 Hooray!
00:05:16 Say, Terrance,
00:05:18 say to the Iranian gynecologist?
00:05:20 I don't know, Phillip. What?
00:05:24 Where do they come up with this stuff?
00:05:26 You're such a pig fucker, Phillip!
00:05:28 What did he say?
00:05:30 Terrance,
00:05:32 Let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs.
00:05:35 Oh, yeah!
00:05:37 Yeah. Fuck my ass and call me a bitch!
00:05:41 - You shit-faced cockmaster!
00:05:43 "Shit-faced cockmaster."
00:05:45 Listen, you donkey-raping shit-eater!
00:05:47 "Donkey-raping shit-eater."
00:05:50 - You'd fuck your uncle.
00:05:54 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka
00:05:56 You're a cock-sucking, ass-licking
00:05:59 You're an uncle fucka, yes, it's true
00:06:02 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka
00:06:05 You're the one that fucked your uncle
00:06:08 You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn
00:06:22 What's going on here?
00:06:26 What garbage.
00:06:28 Well, what do you expect?
00:06:33 Uncle fucka! Uncle fucka!
00:06:39 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka
00:06:41 You're a boner-biting bastard
00:06:44 You're an uncle fucka, I must say
00:06:46 You fucked your uncle yesterday
00:06:48 Uncle fucka
00:06:49 That's U-N-C-L-E
00:06:51 Fuck you, uncle fucka!
00:06:54 Suck my balls.
00:07:00 Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
00:07:02 You bet your fucking ass it was!
00:07:04 Fuck, dude, I wanna be
00:07:06 Hey, wait a minute!
00:07:08 I knew it! You paid a homeless guy
00:07:12 - Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater!
00:07:16 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka
00:07:18 You're an ass-licking, ball-sucking
00:07:30 Hey, where have you guys been all day?
00:07:31 Nowhere. We just went to go see
00:07:35 - You saw it?
00:07:37 Hey, stop crowding us,
00:07:40 Wow.
00:07:41 Yeah. You're all a bunch of
00:07:45 We have got to see this movie, dude.
00:07:47 Terrance and Phillip are Canadian,
00:07:52 There's the girl that I like
00:07:54 Hey, Stan, tell them about
00:07:57 a testicle-shitting rectal wart.
00:07:58 Now more than ever
00:08:02 It makes my stomach queasy
00:08:05 Asshole, I'm talking to you.
00:08:07 I know I can be cool if I try
00:08:11 Hi, Stan.
00:08:12 Gross!
00:08:14 Come, Wendy.
00:08:17 - Who are you, kid?
00:08:19 I just transferred from Yardale,
00:08:23 Wanna skate with us?
00:08:24 We've been skating all morning
00:08:25 and laughing
00:08:28 We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie.
00:08:31 Try and catch me, Wendy.
00:08:34 Bye, Stan.
00:08:39 Yes, yes,
00:08:41 Who wants to touch me?
00:08:43 I said who wants to fucking touch me?
00:08:47 Come on, gang! We've gotta see
00:08:54 I hate you, Kenny.
00:09:00 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka
00:09:03 You're a boner-biting bastard
00:09:06 Okay, children, let's take our seats.
00:09:11 We sure do, Mr. Hat.
00:09:13 Okay, children. Let's start the day
00:09:16 What is five times two?
00:09:20 Come on, children. Don't be shy.
00:09:23 - Yes, Clyde?
00:09:25 Okay. Now let's try to get an answer
00:09:27 from someone
00:09:29 Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.
00:09:32 I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison.
00:09:34 - Shut up, fat boy!
00:09:37 Eric, did you just say the "F" word?
00:09:40 - Jew?
00:09:41 You can't say "fuck" in school,
00:09:43 - Kyle!
00:09:45 - Eric!
00:09:46 Stanley!
00:09:48 - Kenny!
00:09:49 It doesn't hurt anybody.
00:09:51 How would you like to go
00:09:54 How would you like to suck my balls?
00:09:57 What did you say?
00:09:59 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:10:03 How would you like to suck my balls,
00:10:08 Holy shit, dude.
00:10:12 Well, I must say, I'm very disappointed
00:10:16 You should be ashamed of yourselves.
00:10:17 And I've already called in
00:10:19 - You called my mom?
00:10:21 - Oh, no, dude!
00:10:23 M'kay. What?
00:10:25 - What's the big fucking deal, bitch?
00:10:27 Now I wanna know where you heard
00:10:31 Nowhere.
00:10:32 We heard them from Mr. Garrison
00:10:34 - Yeah.
00:10:36 that Mr. Garrison ever said,
00:10:38 "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker."
00:10:42 Sweet.
00:10:47 Thank you all for coming
00:10:49 This just isn't like you, Stanley.
00:10:51 What did my son say, Mr. Mackey?
00:10:55 - No, it was worse than that.
00:10:57 Well, here's a short list of the things
00:11:01 - Dear God!
00:11:04 Why that's when you put your legs
00:11:06 and have someone lick your ass.
00:11:10 Young man, you will tell
00:11:12 where you heard
00:11:14 I... I...
00:11:15 We can't tell you.
00:11:17 and swore ourselves to secrecy.
00:11:18 - It was the Terrance and Phillip movie.
00:11:20 What? Fuck you guys!
00:11:21 Terrance and Phillip?
00:11:24 Excuse me,
00:11:26 Terrance and Phillip are two very
00:11:29 Nothing but foul language
00:11:32 Well, I guess I'll have to send
00:11:34 before more children
00:11:36 - Everybody's fucking seen it!
00:11:38 I'm sorry, I can't help myself.
00:11:39 That movie has warped
00:11:49 There's the girl that I like
00:11:53 Over there laughing
00:11:56 You're holding up
00:11:59 - Hello there, children.
00:12:02 - How's it going?
00:12:03 - Why bad?
00:12:05 Our moms say we can't ever see
00:12:08 That's too bad.
00:12:09 You should've seen Kyle
00:12:10 He was scared out of his mind.
00:12:12 - Shut up, Cartman!
00:12:14 Your mom's a fucking bitch.
00:12:15 Don't call my mom a bitch, you fat fuck!
00:12:17 Don't call me fat,
00:12:19 Whoa, children,
00:12:21 It's pretty fucking sweet, huh?
00:12:23 Chef, how do you make a woman
00:12:26 That's easy.
00:12:27 - You just gotta find the clitoris.
00:12:31 What does that mean,
00:12:33 Forget I said anything.
00:12:34 Move along, children,
00:12:36 You guys, do you know
00:12:38 The what?
00:12:39 What, is that like finding Jesus
00:12:41 Attention, students.
00:12:42 We are now enforcing a new dress code
00:12:46 Terrance and Phillip shirts
00:12:49 Anyone wearing
00:12:51 is to be sent home immediately.
00:12:54 - Hooray!
00:12:59 The R-rated Canadian film
00:13:01 is number one at the box office.
00:13:03 But is the film
00:13:05 Here with a special report
00:13:08 Thanks, Tom. It appears that the effects
00:13:10 of the Canadian comedy
00:13:12 All overAmerica,
00:13:14 like at this spelling bee in Washington.
00:13:16 All right. This is for the silver medal.
00:13:21 Fuck that! Why should I fucking
00:13:23 - Yeah.
00:13:24 Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S.
00:13:29 Tom, the devastating impact
00:13:32 can also be seen with their new hit song
00:13:36 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka
00:13:39 You're a boner-biting bastard
00:13:42 Thought I told you that
00:13:46 - Back to you, Tom.
00:13:48 Shocking report.
00:13:49 The controversy began in the small
00:13:52 where the local PTA
00:13:54 With us tonight is the head of the PTA,
00:13:57 - Hello, Tom.
00:14:00 Thanks for having me, buddy.
00:14:01 Minister, parents are concerned
00:14:02 about your country's entertainment.
00:14:04 Well, the film is R-rated
00:14:07 But of course children are gonna see it!
00:14:09 Can I finish?
00:14:11 are quite surprised by your outrage.
00:14:12 - You just don't care!
00:14:15 The United States has graphic violence
00:14:17 We can't believe that a movie
00:14:19 with some foul language
00:14:20 - Because it's evil!
00:14:25 Okay, I'm finished.
00:14:26 But, Mr. Minister, it isn't like this film
00:14:28 is the first troublesome thing
00:14:30 Let us not forget Bryan Adams.
00:14:32 Now, now. The Canadian government
00:14:33 for Bryan Adams on several occasions.
00:14:35 You Canadians are all the same,
00:14:36 with your beady little eyes
00:14:38 - You're trash.
00:14:41 Our children are now addicted
00:14:42 You are a racist, ma'am.
00:14:44 It is going to take us weeks
00:14:46 to erase the damage
00:14:52 Kids, I wanna welcome you
00:14:55 Your mothers insisted that you be taken
00:14:58 and placed into rehab
00:15:01 I must say, I don't think I belong
00:15:03 I attended school at Yardale
00:15:06 You're a fucking faggot, dude.
00:15:07 M'kay. You see, children?
00:15:10 We have to get you off of foul language.
00:15:12 - How are we gonna do that?
00:15:15 There are times
00:15:18 By drugs and alcohol
00:15:22 But it's when you do these things
00:15:25 That you've become an addict
00:15:30 You can do it
00:15:33 With a little plan
00:15:37 You don't have to spend your life
00:15:40 Homeless on the streets
00:15:42 Follow my plan
00:15:45 "It's easy, m'kay?"
00:15:48 Step one, instead of "ass" say "buns"
00:15:50 Like "Kiss my buns"
00:15:52 Step two, instead of "shit" say "poo"
00:15:54 As in "bull-poo," "poo-head"
00:15:56 Step three, with "bitch" drop the "T"
00:15:58 'Cause "bich' is Latin for "generosity"
00:16:01 Step four, don't say "fuck" anymore
00:16:02 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word
00:16:04 So just use the word "m'kay"
00:16:07 We can do it
00:16:09 M'kay
00:16:11 With a little plan
00:16:13 You can change it today
00:16:15 You don't have to spend your life
00:16:17 Homeless on the streets
00:16:19 Follow this plan
00:16:22 "It's easy, m'kay?"
00:16:25 - Step one
00:16:27 - Like "Kiss my buns"
00:16:30 - Step two
00:16:31 - As in "bull-poo"
00:16:32 And "This poo is cold"
00:16:34 - Step three
00:16:35 'Cause "bich" is Latin for "generosity"
00:16:38 - Step four
00:16:39 'Cause "fuck" is the worse word
00:16:42 "Fuck" is the worse word
00:16:44 we shouldn't say "fuck"
00:16:46 You're cured, you can go
00:16:48 You don't have to spend your life
00:16:50 Homeless on the streets
00:16:52 Follow this plan
00:16:55 "It's easy, m'kay?"
00:16:56 It's easy, m'kay?
00:16:57 - It's easy, m'kay?
00:17:00 - It's easy, m'kay?
00:17:02 It's easy
00:17:05 M'kay. M'kay.
00:17:09 Now you're cured.
00:17:10 You can take the rest of the afternoon
00:17:14 Find your own constructive way
00:17:20 Well, Phillip,
00:17:21 through this whole experience.
00:17:22 I did, Terrance. I learned that you are
00:17:28 Want to see the northern lights?
00:17:32 You burned yourself to death
00:17:35 I sure did, Phillip.
00:17:38 Uncle fucker! Too tight!
00:17:46 Man, that movie gets better
00:17:49 - Hey!
00:17:50 That whole part about
00:17:52 You can't do that.
00:17:54 No way!
00:17:56 Okay, Kenny, I'll bet you $100
00:18:07 - Holy shit, dude!
00:18:10 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
00:18:12 - Somebody do something!
00:18:21 - Oh, my God, you killed Kenny!
00:18:24 Well, I guess you can light
00:18:30 Load that IV with 70 cc's of
00:18:32 - We just called the parents.
00:18:34 Now our moms
00:18:35 to the Terrance and Phillip movie again!
00:18:37 Vacuum!
00:18:38 Try to untangle his trachea
00:18:41 - Dude!
00:18:46 - Gross, Stan!
00:18:48 - Watch his liver.
00:18:51 We have precious little time left,
00:18:52 We're gonna lose him soon.
00:18:53 - Doctor, his heart stopped!
00:18:56 We need to zap this quick!
00:19:00 - Who's making a potato?
00:19:03 Damn it! I'm not gonna lose this kid!
00:19:06 Close him up. We've done all we can.
00:19:08 The rest is up to God.
00:19:11 Kenny? Kenny, can you hear me?
00:19:14 How are you feeling, son?
00:19:17 Great. Son, I have some bad news.
00:19:20 We accidentally replaced your heart
00:19:22 You have about three seconds to live.
00:19:25 Fucking weak, dude!
00:19:27 - Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
00:19:30 Damn it! It never gets any easier!
00:19:38 I bet him he couldn't do it.
00:19:41 Come on, Cartman, it's not your fault.
00:19:43 No, I know. I'm just fucking stoked
00:19:45 That's real nice!
00:19:48 So, boys, you saw that movie again?
00:19:51 - Yes.
00:19:54 You are grounded for
00:19:58 - Grounded?
00:20:00 And you're grounded
00:20:03 Why am I grounded more?
00:20:06 What? What? What?
00:20:23 Little boy at peace
00:20:26 What is this place beyond the stars?
00:20:30 Open up your eyes
00:20:33 What are these things
00:20:37 Head so full of wonder
00:20:40 worries in the past
00:20:42 Could it be that you are free at last?
00:20:47 No!
00:20:55 Little boy, you're going to hell!
00:20:58 You said bad words
00:20:59 And now this is your hotel
00:21:00 You ain't going back
00:21:05 Little boy, it's time for you to pay
00:21:08 For hurting that bird
00:21:09 And staring at boobs every day
00:21:10 Thought you were in bed
00:21:15 Hell isn't good, hell isn't good
00:21:23 Hey, fuck-face, have you seen Gracie?
00:21:25 There is orderliness in the universe.
00:21:29 Hell isn't good, hell isn't good
00:21:42 Parents, our children are out of control!
00:21:45 This is what happens when toilet humor
00:21:49 That's right. Kenny set himself on fire
00:21:51 because he saw Terrance and Phillip
00:21:54 We must stop dirty language
00:21:58 We must go fight the source of it!
00:22:00 But what is the source?
00:22:01 That's easy.
00:22:03 Times have changed
00:22:06 They won't obey their parents
00:22:10 Should we blame the government?
00:22:11 Or blame society?
00:22:13 Or should we blame the images on TV?
00:22:15 No! Blame Canada!
00:22:17 Blame Canada!
00:22:19 With all their beady little eyes
00:22:22 Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
00:22:25 We need to form a full assault
00:22:27 It's Canada's fault!
00:22:29 Don't blame me for my son Stan
00:22:32 He saw the darn cartoon
00:22:35 And my boy Eric once
00:22:38 But now when I see him
00:22:40 Well, Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
00:22:44 It seems that everything's gone wrong
00:22:47 Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
00:22:50 They're not even a real country anyway
00:22:53 My son could've been a doctor
00:22:57 Instead, he burned up like a piggy
00:23:00 Should we blame the matches?
00:23:03 Or the doctors who allowed him
00:23:05 Heck, no!
00:23:06 Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
00:23:09 With all their hockey hullabaloo
00:23:10 And that bitch Anne Murray, too
00:23:12 Blame Canada! Shame on Canada!
00:23:15 For
00:23:16 The smut we must stop
00:23:18 The laughter and fun must all be undone
00:23:19 We must blame them and cause a fuss
00:23:21 Before somebody thinks of blaming us!
00:23:31 All right, you turds, listen up!
00:23:33 Your moms are away at a meeting
00:23:37 But you're still grounded,
00:23:40 - Any questions?
00:23:45 Now you all just sit there
00:23:48 while I go listen
00:23:53 Okay, it's clear.
00:23:56 Our next guests have the number one
00:23:59 Please welcome Terrance and Phillip!
00:24:02 Hooray!
00:24:05 - Hello, Conan.
00:24:07 Now, guys, some people claim
00:24:09 is nothing but immature fartjokes.
00:24:11 That's not true. Take this classic
00:24:16 - Excuse me, Terrance.
00:24:20 Gosh darn it!
00:24:23 - Good one, Phillip. Cheers.
00:24:25 Guys, you can't say that on TV.
00:24:27 Now Terrance smells like my ass!
00:24:29 I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon.
00:24:36 So, guys, does it make you nervous
00:24:39 There are a lot of organizations here
00:24:40 that want you arrested for
00:24:42 - They'd have to find us first.
00:24:45 Now!
00:24:47 Terrance and Phillip,
00:24:48 Mothers Against Canada
00:24:52 - Mom?
00:24:53 We have a court order for your arrest!
00:24:56 Phillip, we've been ambushed!
00:24:57 Here you go, Conan.
00:24:59 This little scrotum sucker deceived us!
00:25:01 - You are a bad man!
00:25:04 You loved our movie, Conan!
00:25:06 - Remember? You laughed!
00:25:18 Holy crap! Did you see that?
00:25:27 As the Canadian Ambassador,
00:25:28 I hereby condemn the actions
00:25:30 in apprehending Terrance and Phillip.
00:25:32 As you can see from this graph,
00:25:33 the entire economy of Canada
00:25:36 Without them,
00:25:39 What say you,
00:25:44 - Fuck Canada!
00:25:46 Terrance and Phillip
00:25:48 They're going to be put on trial for
00:25:52 We don't know
00:25:53 The fuss is aboot taking our citizens!
00:25:55 It's aboot not censoring our art!
00:25:59 What's so goddamn funny?
00:26:01 Nothing, nothing.
00:26:02 Could you tell us again what your
00:26:05 This is not aboot diplomacy,
00:26:08 This is aboot respect!
00:26:12 You guys are dicks!
00:26:14 or we'll give you something
00:26:29 Pilot to bombardier. Pilot to bombardier.
00:26:32 The bomb's ready, buddy.
00:26:34 Baldwin residence.
00:26:37 If you want Daniel Baldwin,
00:26:41 Hey, Alec, do you know
00:26:43 - No, what?
00:26:53 You missed me!
00:26:58 All right, children,
00:27:00 throw away my lesson plan
00:27:03 Mr. Garrison, how come our moms
00:27:05 - Yeah!
00:27:07 Well, your moms are just upset.
00:27:09 They're probably all on their
00:27:11 Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I think
00:27:15 Well, I'm sorry, Wendy,
00:27:16 but I just don't trust anything that
00:27:20 Anyway, children,
00:27:23 - Attention, students!
00:27:25 Come to the gymnasium immediately
00:27:32 - What's going on, Chef?
00:27:35 Chef, I can't find the clitoris.
00:27:37 Stan, the clitoris...
00:27:39 Please take your seats, everyone.
00:27:43 This is a state of emergency.
00:27:44 We go now to the White House
00:27:46 from the President of the United States.
00:27:49 My fellowAmericans,
00:27:50 at 5:00 a.m. Today,
00:27:55 the Canadians have bombed
00:27:58 In response to this,
00:28:05 - Oh, no!
00:28:07 - No, Gregory! No!
00:28:10 All the Baldwins are dead?
00:28:12 Now it is the time for us to send
00:28:15 In two days time,
00:28:19 will be executed.
00:28:21 They're gonna kill them?
00:28:23 And now I'd like to bring up my newly
00:28:27 Ms. Sheila Broflovski.
00:28:29 Holy shit, dude!
00:28:30 My fellowAmericans,
00:28:31 our neighbor to the north
00:28:36 - I have a plan...
00:28:38 because we won't tolerate
00:28:40 Well, if it is war they want,
00:28:48 - Dude, this is fucking weak.
00:29:03 Fallen one, I am Satan.
00:29:07 I am your god now.
00:29:12 There is no escape.
00:29:17 Now, feel the delightful pain.
00:29:20 Hey, Satan, did you hear the news?
00:29:24 A warjust broke out up on Earth.
00:29:26 Meet Saddam Hussein,
00:29:30 Move over, Satan,
00:29:32 Yeah! Yeah!
00:29:37 Saddam, would you let me
00:29:39 Come on, rub my nipples
00:29:41 Saddam, could I talk to you
00:29:46 I don't see why you have to belittle me
00:29:50 Relax, guy!
00:29:51 Well, sometimes I think you don't have
00:29:54 Hey, come here, guy.
00:29:57 - Who's my cream puff?
00:30:00 That's right, buddy.
00:30:05 - Dude, I don't want to be at war.
00:30:07 gonna kill Terrance and Phillip,
00:30:09 Kyle, you need to stop
00:30:11 and stand up to your mother.
00:30:12 You need to smack her
00:30:14 "That's enough of your shit,
00:30:15 Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman!
00:30:17 You guys stop it! This isn't helping!
00:30:19 We've gotta think here!
00:30:20 Now, let's see,
00:30:22 Yeah, what would Brian Boitano do?
00:30:28 Hey, what's going on over there?
00:30:29 The American government thinks
00:30:32 Your government is going
00:30:34 an action condemned by the U.N.
00:30:39 - Let's play tetherball.
00:30:41 This is about freedom of speech!
00:30:44 Can't you guys be more political
00:30:45 There's the girl that I like
00:30:49 Now it appears
00:30:53 It must be because
00:30:58 I bet I could be political, too
00:31:01 What do you think, Stan?
00:31:05 - Damn it!
00:31:07 Shut up, Cartman!
00:31:08 Kyle's mom is the one
00:31:10 and all because
00:31:13 Don't say it, Cartman!
00:31:15 Well...
00:31:16 Don't do it, Cartman!
00:31:18 Well...
00:31:19 - I'm warning you!
00:31:22 I'm getting pretty sick of
00:31:24 well, Kyle's mom's a bitch
00:31:25 She's the biggest bitch
00:31:27 She's a stupid bitch
00:31:28 She's a bitch to all the boys and girls
00:31:31 Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman!
00:31:33 On Monday she's a bitch
00:31:35 And wednesday through Saturday
00:31:36 Then on Sunday, just to be different
00:31:38 She's a super
00:31:41 Come on, you all know the words!
00:31:42 Have you ever met
00:31:44 She's the biggest bitch
00:31:45 She's a mean old bitch
00:31:47 She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
00:31:48 Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
00:31:51 Kyle's mom's a bitch
00:31:55 Talk to kids around the world
00:31:56 It might go a little bit
00:32:10 Have you ever met
00:32:11 She's the biggest bitch
00:32:13 She's a mean old bitch
00:32:14 She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
00:32:16 Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
00:32:18 Cartman...
00:32:20 Kyle's mom's a bitch
00:32:22 I really mean it
00:32:23 Kyle's mom
00:32:25 She's a big fat fucking bitch
00:32:30 Big, old, fat fucking bitch, Kyle's mom
00:32:33 Yeah!
00:32:39 What?
00:32:43 Fuck.
00:32:44 Okay, everyone settle down.
00:32:47 As we continue to send troops
00:32:49 M.A.C. Is also fighting the war
00:32:53 Here to present the V-Chip
00:33:00 The machinery of the V-Chip
00:33:02 It is placed under the child's skin
00:33:04 where it emits a small shock
00:33:06 whenever an obscenity is uttered.
00:33:08 Now, wait a minute.
00:33:09 This chip somehow knows
00:33:12 It's just like a lie detector.
00:33:13 You see, certain things happen to you
00:33:15 just like when you lie.
00:33:16 The chip picks up on this
00:33:20 Patient B5,
00:33:23 Patient B5 here has been fitted
00:33:27 - My head hurts.
00:33:28 Now I want you to say "doggy."
00:33:32 - Doggy.
00:33:35 - Now say "Montana."
00:33:38 Good! Now, "pillow."
00:33:40 - Pillow.
00:33:42 Now I want you to say "horse fucker."
00:33:46 Go ahead, Eric. It's all right.
00:33:48 Horse...
00:33:51 That hurt, goddamn... Fuck!
00:33:54 Now I'd like you to say
00:33:57 - No!
00:33:58 The child doesn't want to swear!
00:34:00 This isn't fair, you sons of bitches!
00:34:03 We will start putting V-Chips
00:34:10 Snacky Smores presents
00:34:13 Let's hear it for our boys in blue.
00:34:15 President Clinton
00:34:16 to fight the evil Canadian scourge.
00:34:19 A full-scale attack
00:34:21 after the Canadians' last bombing
00:34:23 which took a horrible toll
00:34:26 For security measures,
00:34:28 is rounding up all citizens
00:34:30 and putting them into camps.
00:34:32 All Canadian-American
00:34:34 to one of these death camps right away.
00:34:35 Did I say death camps?
00:34:36 I meant happy camps,
00:34:39 have access to fabulous doctors
00:34:42 Meanwhile,
00:34:44 are prepped for their execution.
00:34:46 Their execution will take place
00:34:50 With special guests celebrities,
00:34:54 Of course,
00:34:56 is to sign up for the army!
00:34:58 So join the army
00:35:01 as we continue the march of war!
00:35:09 We must rid ourselves
00:35:13 Bomb them!
00:35:15 Dude, don't you like
00:35:17 Course not! My mommy says
00:35:18 I hate Canadians now 'cause they
00:35:20 Burn it all!
00:35:23 - Hey, dudes.
00:35:25 It's this V-Chip. I hate it.
00:35:28 - Really? So you can't say "fuck"?
00:35:31 - And you can't say "shit"?
00:35:33 So you can't say, "I'm Eric Cartman,
00:35:34 "the fattest fucking piece of shit
00:35:36 - Fuck you...
00:35:38 Come on, you guys.
00:35:40 It's time we talked to our moms.
00:35:41 We're supposed to be grounded
00:35:43 Come on, Kyle,
00:35:45 Canada will no longer corrupt
00:35:48 - Mom, can I talk to you for a second?
00:35:52 You are grounded!
00:35:53 Now get back to the house
00:35:56 You too, Stanley!
00:35:57 Mom, we think you're going too far.
00:36:00 We must fight for
00:36:03 You started a war! You have to stop it!
00:36:04 ...to make them safe again!
00:36:06 - Hello?
00:36:09 - Hello!
00:36:12 Stop at nothing!
00:36:14 I told you my mom wouldn't listen.
00:36:15 Well, then we're just gonna have to
00:36:18 - What?
00:36:19 What would Brian Boitano do?
00:36:21 He'd figure out a way
00:36:22 before they're executed.
00:36:23 We can't do anything.
00:36:26 Well, then, we'll round up
00:36:28 and start our own organization.
00:36:30 An organization to help save
00:36:32 Hey, yeah, our own secret club!
00:36:34 - I guess that could work.
00:36:37 What would Brian Boitano do
00:36:40 He'd make a plan
00:36:42 That's what Brian Boitano would do
00:36:43 when Brian Boitano was in
00:36:46 He did two salchows and a triple Lutz
00:36:50 When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
00:36:53 He used his magical fire breath
00:36:57 So what would Brian Boitano do
00:37:00 I'm sure he'd kick and ass or two
00:37:04 I want this V-Chip out of me
00:37:07 It has stunted my vocabulary
00:37:10 And I just want my mom
00:37:14 For wendy I'll be an activist, too
00:37:16 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano
00:37:17 what would Brian Boitano do?
00:37:21 And tell them to unite for truth
00:37:24 - Did someone say my name?
00:37:27 - I'm Brian Dennehy.
00:37:29 - No, not fucking Brian Dennehy!
00:37:33 Bye.
00:37:35 When Brian Boitano
00:37:36 To the year 3010
00:37:38 He fought the evil robot king
00:37:41 And when Brian Boitano
00:37:43 He beat up Kublai Khan
00:37:45 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit
00:37:50 So let's call all the kids together
00:37:53 And we'll save Terrance and Phillip, too
00:37:55 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano
00:37:57 And we'll save Terrance and Phillip, too
00:37:59 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano
00:38:09 Hey, relax, guy.
00:38:11 There's nothing on.
00:38:13 You just get cranky when you're tired,
00:38:15 I'm not cranky.
00:38:16 What started as a spat between
00:38:19 is quickly turning into world War III!
00:38:21 World War III?
00:38:22 Terrance and Phillip
00:38:24 for crimes against humanity.
00:38:25 The time of execution...
00:38:27 It has come to be.
00:38:31 The time of prophecy is upon us!
00:38:34 I love when you get all biblical, Satan.
00:38:36 You know exactly how to turn my crank.
00:38:37 No, I'm being serious.
00:38:41 - What?
00:38:42 The first signs of my reign
00:38:45 The fall of an empire,
00:38:48 and now, when the blood of these
00:38:53 it will be our time to rise.
00:38:57 Yeah. Yeah, man! I'm getting so hot!
00:39:00 Do you always think about sex?
00:39:02 I'm talking about
00:39:04 I'm just excited about
00:39:07 Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
00:39:10 I love you.
00:39:13 I want to believe that.
00:39:14 So what do you say we shut off that light
00:39:22 Yeah, you like that, don't you, bitch?
00:39:27 Okay. We can use my dad's computer
00:39:30 Wait. Before we put a message out,
00:39:33 Okay.
00:39:36 Found eight million pages
00:39:38 Wow!
00:39:39 I'll just try the first one.
00:39:43 Okay.
00:39:46 "If you are under 18 do not..." Okay.
00:39:52 Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on!
00:39:53 - Whoa! Is it Cartman's mom?
00:39:56 Hey! It is Cartman's mom!
00:39:59 All righty then.
00:40:00 Son of a bitch...
00:40:03 Get out of here, lke.
00:40:04 Bullshit.
00:40:06 What's she doing now?
00:40:08 Okey-dokey.
00:40:13 Click it off, dude! Click it off!
00:40:14 Dude, what the fuck is wrong
00:40:16 All right. All right.
00:40:18 and put a message out to kids!
00:40:20 Okay. Let's see. I've gotta put out
00:40:22 Goddamn, your mom sucks, Cartman.
00:40:24 Just get to the message board!
00:40:25 I'm trying. I can't find a Canadian server.
00:40:28 Damn it, they've got an access code!
00:40:36 Okay. Here we go.
00:40:43 - Tell them we'll have punch and pie.
00:40:45 More people will come
00:40:51 "This is top secret. The password is..."
00:40:54 La Résistance.
00:40:57 And so the draft will begin tomorrow
00:40:59 as more and more troops are needed
00:41:02 The Canadian government pleads
00:41:04 but naturally we're not listening.
00:41:07 Good night, hon.
00:41:08 Mom, when is the war gonna be over?
00:41:11 I don't know, hon. Soon, we hope.
00:41:13 You want it to end quickly, huh?
00:41:17 - Mom?
00:41:19 If you were in a German Scheibe video,
00:41:24 Sure, hon. Good night.
00:41:36 There's a ghost!
00:41:39 Kenny, is that you?
00:41:43 Satan! Satan is coming here?
00:41:46 Saddam Hussein?
00:41:51 - Eric, what is it?
00:41:54 You poor dear.
00:41:58 I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire
00:42:01 I can't say "pissed off"?
00:42:05 The execution of Terrance and Phillip
00:42:07 Soon, Saddam and I will rule the world.
00:42:12 Hi, Satan. I got some new luggage
00:42:15 Let's fuck to celebrate.
00:42:16 What's it like up on Earth, Saddam?
00:42:19 Let's not talk. Let's get busy.
00:42:22 Do you remember
00:42:23 We used to talk all night long
00:42:27 We would just lie in bed and talk.
00:42:29 Well, yeah, 'cause I was still waiting
00:42:32 How come you always wanna
00:42:35 Is it because you want to pretend
00:42:37 Satan, your ass is gigantic and red.
00:42:40 Who am I gonna pretend you are,
00:42:45 Don't get all pissy!
00:42:54 Sometimes I think
00:42:57 When I look up real high
00:43:00 That there's such a big world up there
00:43:03 I'd like to give it a try
00:43:07 But then I sink
00:43:09 'Cause it's here I'm supposed to stay
00:43:12 But I get so lonely down here
00:43:15 Tell me why's it have to be that way
00:43:20 Up there, there is so much room
00:43:23 Where babies burp and fiowers bloom
00:43:26 Everyone dreams
00:43:29 Up there
00:43:34 I could be safe and live without a care
00:43:38 Up there
00:43:41 They say I don't belong
00:43:44 I must stay below alone
00:43:47 Because of my beliefs I'm supposed to
00:43:54 But what is evil anyway?
00:43:59 Without evil there could be no good
00:44:01 So it must be good
00:44:07 Up there, there is so much room
00:44:10 Where babies burp and fiowers bloom
00:44:13 Everyone dreams
00:44:16 Up there
00:44:21 I could be safe and live without a care
00:44:25 Live without a care
00:44:28 If only I could live up there
00:44:33 I wanna live
00:44:40 I want to live up there!
00:44:56 - You're late, Cartman!
00:44:58 - My behind is killing me!
00:45:00 I have to say "behind"
00:45:03 - Did you bring the punch and pie?
00:45:07 - I don't think Kenny's dead.
00:45:09 I saw him in my room.
00:45:11 I know, Cartman, I know.
00:45:13 - You do?
00:45:16 On the smile of every baby.
00:45:18 Hey, I'm telling you, this was Kenny!
00:45:20 He said that if Terrance and Phillip die,
00:45:22 Saddam Hussein and Satan
00:45:25 Saddam Hussein?
00:45:31 - Who is it?
00:45:34 - What's the password?
00:45:37 - Guess.
00:45:40 Okay.
00:45:45 Oh, no, it's that kid!
00:45:47 - This is the place.
00:45:49 Stan? You started la Résistance?
00:45:52 Well, apparently you're more political
00:45:54 Let us get this meeting underway.
00:46:00 Wow, a lot of people showed up.
00:46:04 Okay.
00:46:05 Terrance and Phillip
00:46:07 and we think that sucks ass!
00:46:11 Yes?
00:46:12 We were to understand
00:46:15 There isn't any.
00:46:21 Terrance and Phillip
00:46:23 so we think we should prank call
00:46:25 and have pizza sent to them
00:46:32 - May I?
00:46:34 Terrance and Phillip
00:46:36 at a Canadian internment camp
00:46:38 They're to be executed tomorrow during
00:46:39 a star-studded USO show
00:46:41 Tomorrow?
00:46:42 Once the show begins,
00:46:44 to get Terrance and Phillip
00:46:45 and into this clearing.
00:46:47 There, we will all rendezvous
00:46:48 take Terrance and Phillip
00:46:50 Wow, dude, Wendy's new guy is smart.
00:46:52 You must all meet me at the rendezvous
00:46:55 Sneaking into the show and breaking out
00:46:57 will be the most dangerous part,
00:47:00 No! We're going!
00:47:02 We started la Résistance.
00:47:03 We'll get Terrance and Phillip
00:47:06 This will be very dangerous.
00:47:09 Fuck that!
00:47:10 Cartman, do you want
00:47:11 We're going.
00:47:24 Oh, boy! Military action, Ned!
00:47:26 Let's kill us
00:47:29 I think we're fighting Canadians.
00:47:31 Canadians, Australians,
00:47:34 Yeah. This uniform makes me feel
00:47:38 It sure does, Mr. Garrison.
00:47:40 Oh, boy, I can't wait for
00:47:42 so I can get me some fucking poontang.
00:47:46 Pay attention!
00:47:47 Tomorrow night is the USO show
00:47:50 There will be celebrities, followed by
00:47:55 After the show, we will finally be
00:48:00 So let's strategize.
00:48:01 Map!
00:48:03 Our sources have told us
00:48:05 are preparing for our invasion,
00:48:08 Each battalion has
00:48:11 Battalion Five, raise your hands.
00:48:13 You will be the all-important
00:48:16 which we will call
00:48:18 Hey, wait a minute!
00:48:20 Now keep in mind, Operation Human
00:48:23 Battalion Fourteen?
00:48:25 Right. You are
00:48:28 You will follow Battalion Five here.
00:48:30 And try not to get killed, for God's sake.
00:48:33 Yes, soldier?
00:48:35 Have you ever heard of
00:48:37 I don't listen to hip-hop.
00:48:39 After that, we will march
00:48:43 I'm coming to get you!
00:48:45 What's wrong with this thing?
00:48:48 It's fucking Windows 98!
00:48:54 You told us Windows 98 would be faster
00:48:57 with better access to the Internet.
00:48:59 It is faster. Over five million...
00:49:02 All right, men, get lots of rest
00:49:10 After you have Terrance and Phillip,
00:49:12 We will be waiting for you there.
00:49:14 so if you're not there at 10:00,
00:49:16 - Got you.
00:49:18 but you will need help from someone
00:49:20 - Here's the address of The Mole.
00:49:23 He is an expert in covert operations.
00:49:25 Your first task will be obtaining him.
00:49:28 Tomorrow, we will all be
00:49:32 God has smiled upon you this day
00:49:37 The fate of a nation in your hands
00:49:41 And blessed be the children
00:49:44 Who fight with all our bravery
00:49:47 Till only the righteous stand
00:49:52 You see the distant flames
00:49:55 You fight in all our names
00:49:59 And when you all get shot
00:50:02 Though you die, la Résistance lives on
00:50:05 You may get stabbed in the head
00:50:09 You may be burned to death
00:50:12 But when they torture you
00:50:15 For though you die
00:50:18 Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
00:50:21 Because the country's gone awry
00:50:26 Tomorrow night, our lives will change
00:50:29 Tomorrow night, we'll be entertained
00:50:32 An execution
00:50:35 Tomorrow night
00:50:36 Up there, there is so much room
00:50:39 Tomorrow night, up there is doomed
00:50:42 Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka
00:50:44 You're a boner-biting bastard
00:50:48 Looks like we may be out of luck
00:50:49 Tomorrow night, we're pretty fucked
00:50:51 Why did our mothers start this war?
00:50:54 When did this song
00:50:56 - I want to be up there...
00:50:58 There'll be no more Celine Dion!
00:51:00 They might cut your dick in half
00:51:03 And though it hurts
00:51:06 But that's the way it goes
00:51:09 - Though we die...
00:51:11 ...la Résistance lives on!
00:51:15 Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
00:51:18 - Tomorrow night!
00:51:25 Oh, boy, I'm so excited!
00:51:27 Just one more day
00:51:29 I don't know if I can sleep,
00:51:32 This book is really interesting.
00:51:34 It talks about how people
00:51:36 Like, I communicate by wanting you
00:51:39 Hey, that is interesting! Let's fuck!
00:51:42 Saddam, I'm trying to have
00:51:45 Hey, Satan.
00:51:47 Now that is just not appropriate!
00:51:50 Come on, I'm just fucking with you!
00:51:53 - Well, that is still not appropriate.
00:51:57 It's not real, either! Come on, guy!
00:52:06 Soon the world will belong to me!
00:52:11 It's Saddam,
00:52:15 He just wants sex
00:52:19 You're right, I should leave him!
00:52:22 "Saddam,
00:52:25 I'm strong and I don't need him!
00:52:32 Today's the day for the USO show
00:52:34 we're so happy we get to go
00:52:36 I don't know but I've been told
00:52:38 Canadian pussy is mighty cold...
00:52:40 Ike, you have to stay in the attic
00:52:43 they'll put you
00:52:46 Don't worry, lke,
00:52:48 And then I'll make Mom come home
00:52:56 All of that is home.
00:53:12 - Hello?
00:53:16 I'm sorry, The Mole is grounded.
00:53:20 - What?
00:53:21 He said very naughty things about God.
00:53:24 Well, can we just talk to him
00:53:26 Well, all right. Christophe?
00:53:31 Hi, we're gonna go rescue
00:53:33 from the USO show and...
00:53:35 - Who are you? Who sent you?
00:53:37 He said you could sneak us in.
00:53:38 Are you telling me that you intend to
00:53:41 filled with thousands of soldiers,
00:53:44 I thought it was a pretty stupid idea, too.
00:53:46 We're la Résistance!
00:53:47 We wanna save Terrance and Phillip
00:53:50 I can't help you. I'm grounded
00:53:53 So are we.
00:53:55 Why are you grounded?
00:53:56 Why? Because God hates me,
00:53:58 He has made my life miserable.
00:54:00 So I call him a cock-sucking asshole
00:54:03 - So will you help us?
00:54:05 Meet me in the backyard
00:54:08 We'll show God that we're not gonna
00:54:10 - What? Christophe, get in here!
00:54:14 I must be strong. I must be strong.
00:54:18 Saddam, I need to talk to you.
00:54:20 You better get packing, bitch.
00:54:21 We have to go.
00:54:24 Saddam, sometimes you can love
00:54:27 but still know that they aren't
00:54:29 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:54:31 You treat me like shit, Saddam!
00:54:33 I'm going up to Earth to rule alone!
00:54:36 No. No, you can't do that!
00:54:38 - I'm sorry, but I have to be strong.
00:54:42 - I have to go to Earth!
00:54:45 Sure I do, guy. Please, just hear me out.
00:54:52 Some people say that I'm a bad guy
00:54:55 They may be right
00:54:59 But it's not as if I don't try
00:55:02 I just fuck up, try as I might
00:55:05 But I can change, I can change
00:55:08 I can learn to keep my promises
00:55:11 I'll open up my heart and I will share it
00:55:17 Yes, I can change, I can change
00:55:19 I know I've been a dirty little bastard
00:55:22 I like to kill, I like to maim
00:55:23 Yes, I'm insane, but it's okay
00:55:27 It's not my fault that I'm so evil
00:55:31 Society
00:55:33 You see, my parents
00:55:36 And it made a prick of me
00:55:38 But I can change, I can change
00:55:41 What if you remain
00:55:43 Satan, don't be such a twit
00:55:47 Just watch
00:55:48 Here I go
00:56:13 You see, I've really matured.
00:56:15 - All right.
00:56:18 - Come on. We have to hurry.
00:56:25 Ladies and gentlemen
00:56:27 welcome to the USO show!
00:56:30 Get ready for loads of entertainment
00:56:34 followed immediately by the nasty
00:56:43 This is the USO show
00:56:45 intend to kill Terrance and Phillip.
00:56:46 - Oh, my God!
00:56:48 He is the biggest bitch of them all.
00:56:50 We have to hurry. We rendezvous
00:56:54 You realize that by doing this,
00:56:56 perhaps even three weeks.
00:56:58 - We're willing to take that risk.
00:57:00 And now, here are your hosts
00:57:03 Sheila Broflovski and Big Gay Al!
00:57:09 Al, tonight is a very special night,
00:57:12 They're having a sale at Merv's?
00:57:15 No, because we're going to abolish
00:57:18 That's right, Sheila!
00:57:25 Today is a great day for democracy!
00:57:31 Phillip, this is worse than that night
00:57:33 and you put your dick in my mouth
00:57:35 I know, Terrance. I know.
00:57:37 Well, Sheila,
00:57:39 let's bring out our first act,
00:57:56 Be careful not to touch this wire.
00:57:59 Motherfucker...
00:58:01 Fuck...
00:58:08 Shit, the USO show has started!
00:58:11 Do you see Terrance and Phillip?
00:58:13 Yes, but they are heavily guarded.
00:58:15 We have to dig from here
00:58:17 Come on, bitches.
00:58:20 Hey, Mole,
00:58:22 - The what?
00:58:24 I have to find the clitoris so I can
00:58:26 You need to stop thinking
00:58:28 You have to be on your toes
00:58:29 because I am not going to be
00:58:31 Not for you. Not for anybody.
00:58:33 Men, when you're out there
00:58:36 and you're looking into the beady eyes
00:58:38 as he charges you with his hockey stick
00:58:41 and people are dying all around you,
00:58:43 just remember what the M.P.A.A. Says.
00:58:46 "Horrific, deplorable violence is okay,
00:58:49 "as long as people don't say
00:58:52 That is what this war is all about!
00:58:56 What?
00:59:00 Shit!
00:59:03 Move, move!
00:59:05 Okay. We will split up here.
00:59:09 - We don't have watches.
00:59:11 Dude, you didn't say
00:59:12 What do you think this is, kid?
00:59:14 TV kiddie-hour where we all sit around
00:59:15 and lick Barney
00:59:17 This is real life, with consequences
00:59:19 - Dude, we don't have watches.
00:59:22 - Got it!
00:59:23 - Check.
00:59:25 - What's a buttfor?
00:59:30 Now, listen carefully.
00:59:32 and with that bedrock,
00:59:34 Stan and Kyle, get near that stage
00:59:36 Do whatever it takes
00:59:38 - until I get to the prisoners.
00:59:40 Cartman,
00:59:42 You must sneak over there
00:59:43 before I return with Terrance and Phillip
00:59:44 or the alarms will sound
00:59:47 - Got it?
00:59:48 You must shut off the alarms!
00:59:51 I heard you the first time,
00:59:54 If anything goes wrong,
00:59:56 What's a dying giraffe sound like?
01:00:02 - Okay.
01:00:03 - Be careful, dude.
01:00:05 Was my mother careful
01:00:07 with a clothes hanger
01:00:14 Damn, dude. That kid is fucked up.
01:00:16 - How are those chairs coming, Sheila?
01:00:20 Super! In the meantime,
01:00:22 here's pint-size pixie and darling of
01:00:28 Hi, guys.
01:00:30 I'm super psyched to be here today.
01:00:32 What you're doing
01:00:36 I mean war, man. Wow. War, you know?
01:00:40 Wow.
01:00:42 Okay! And now for your enjoyment,
01:00:55 Oh, my!
01:00:57 "Shut off the power, Cartman.
01:01:01 Dude, did you hear
01:01:03 We can't miss this.
01:01:08 There, I didn't miss one!
01:01:10 That's my ping-pong ball trick!
01:01:17 Well, that's all the acts
01:01:19 so let's just get on with the execution!
01:01:23 - Oh, no. We have to stall him.
01:01:25 Yeah, more!
01:01:27 You big sillies!
01:01:30 Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!
01:01:32 Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!
01:01:34 Well, I do have a little song
01:01:38 But we haven't rehearsed.
01:01:40 - Sing it!
01:01:42 - I can't.
01:01:45 Well, all right, if you insist,
01:01:47 I believe it goes a little bit like this.
01:01:52 Bombs are fiying
01:01:56 Children are crying
01:02:01 Cancer is killing
01:02:05 The whole world's gone to hell
01:02:09 I'm super, thanks for asking
01:02:12 All things considered
01:02:16 I'm feeling super
01:02:19 Everything is super when you're...
01:02:25 I'm so sorry, Mr. Cripple
01:02:28 But I just can't feel too bad
01:02:31 Because I'm feeling
01:02:35 That even the fact that you can't walk
01:02:38 He's super, thanks for asking
01:02:41 All things considered
01:02:44 I'm super
01:02:48 Everything is super when you're...
01:02:51 These little pants
01:02:54 I'm super
01:02:55 In the barracks
01:02:57 - Stick 'em up!
01:02:59 - "Do ask, do tell"
01:03:01 Yes, he's super
01:03:03 Okay?
01:03:04 Everything is super when you're gay
01:03:12 When you're gay!
01:03:15 Again! Again!
01:03:25 Who's there?
01:03:28 Son of a gun! Heck!
01:03:30 They're coming?
01:03:32 But our moms won't listen to us!
01:03:40 Okay, everybody,
01:03:43 to thank all our wonderful sponsors
01:03:46 He's almost got them.
01:03:47 We are here to rescue you.
01:03:48 After I release you,
01:03:50 - You guys! Seriously!
01:03:52 Kenny! I saw Kenny again!
01:03:53 Did you shut the alarm off, Cartman?
01:03:56 Cartman?
01:03:58 Shit!
01:04:01 Hey, did you hear that?
01:04:05 - Shit!
01:04:07 Get him!
01:04:09 Shit! Shit!
01:04:12 Oh, no!
01:04:14 Come on, Mole, come on!
01:04:16 Shit! Shit! Fucking guard dogs! Shit!
01:04:19 The alarms, they went off.
01:04:21 Yeah, that was my bad. Sorry.
01:04:23 Hold me. It's so very cold.
01:04:25 There is no hope now.
01:04:27 - We can't leave without you!
01:04:30 No, we can't leave without you!
01:04:32 Where is your God
01:04:34 Where is your beautiful,
01:04:38 Here I come, God.
01:04:41 Now the light, she fades
01:04:44 And darkness settles in
01:04:47 But I will find strength
01:04:49 No, Mole. Hang on.
01:04:50 I will find pride within
01:04:52 We'll get you home.
01:04:53 Because although I die
01:04:55 I can't face my mother.
01:04:56 Our freedom will be won
01:04:58 Not alone.
01:04:59 Though I die
01:05:01 La Résistance lives on
01:05:17 Shit!
01:05:19 Okay, folks, here it is,
01:05:22 the execution!
01:05:28 The day is ours!
01:05:31 Oh, no, dude, it's happening!
01:05:32 We have to tell them
01:05:34 No way, dude!
01:05:36 Kyle, you have to stand up
01:05:38 Gentlemen, do you have any last words?
01:05:41 Last words? Let's see. How's aboot...
01:05:44 Get me the fuck out of this chair!
01:05:46 All right, anonymous, ready the switch.
01:05:51 - Wait!
01:05:52 - Eric!
01:05:55 - Go on, dude, tell her.
01:05:58 You can't kill Terrance and Phillip.
01:06:00 If they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein
01:06:08 Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison.
01:06:10 Hey, I'm supposed to be anonymous.
01:06:14 Goodbye, bastards!
01:06:16 No!
01:06:24 The Canadians are attacking!
01:06:28 Come on.
01:06:31 Fuck!
01:06:34 Hey, some little fat kid saved us!
01:06:42 Terrance and Phillip, wait!
01:06:44 We have to get you
01:06:49 Ned, behind you!
01:07:09 Be not afraid.
01:07:12 Oh, my God!
01:07:13 - Behold my glory.
01:07:17 I am the clitoris.
01:07:19 The clitoris? I did it! I found the clitoris!
01:07:21 Stan, you must not let
01:07:24 be spilled on the ground.
01:07:26 Wait! You're supposed to tell me
01:07:28 There are more important matters
01:07:30 No way, dude! I looked all over for you
01:07:32 and now you have to tell me
01:07:34 Dude, you just have to have
01:07:37 Believe in yourself
01:07:40 Chicks love confidence. Now go, hurry!
01:07:43 The clitoris has spoken.
01:07:44 Stan! Stan, are you okay?
01:07:47 I see you failed in your mission.
01:07:48 I should not have sent a boy
01:07:52 Come on, everyone,
01:07:58 Die, Canadian, m'kay?
01:08:04 - Did you hear that Terrance? I farted.
01:08:08 Terrance and Phillip!
01:08:10 We have to get them
01:08:11 Hey, it's Mr. Garrison!
01:08:13 Children, take Mr. Hat.
01:08:16 Please, get him out of here.
01:08:19 Holy shit!
01:08:23 Take cover in the trench!
01:08:25 All right, men! Human Shield up front,
01:08:27 then Operation Get Behind the Darkies.
01:08:29 Remember, Human Shield,
01:08:37 Holy mother of Jehoshaphat!
01:08:39 Fire on my command!
01:08:40 All right, squad, just like I told you.
01:08:43 One, two...
01:08:46 Yousa people gonna die?
01:08:48 - Fire!
01:08:50 What in the...
01:08:52 - Great plan, Chef!
01:08:58 My God, this is terrible!
01:09:01 This is what we wanted!
01:09:03 We wanted our children to be
01:09:07 But we didn't want this!
01:09:09 Where are you going?
01:09:11 We're going to find our boys!
01:09:13 For God's sake, Sheila,
01:09:22 Kyle, all those times I said
01:09:25 I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew.
01:09:28 Yes, I am! I am a Jew, Cartman!
01:09:30 No, no, Kyle,
01:09:33 What the hell am I still holding this for?
01:09:35 Mr. Hat! No!
01:09:38 Fuck this, dude. I'm getting out of here
01:09:41 - I heard that.
01:09:43 Dude, I found the clitoris,
01:09:44 so now I think I can get Wendy
01:09:46 That's swell, Stan.
01:09:47 Yeah, I guess all's well
01:09:49 We can go home now, you dipshit!
01:09:51 - What's wrong with this thing?
01:09:53 We can't let Terrance and Phillip die
01:09:58 - Terrance, look!
01:10:00 Phillip, we're done for!
01:10:02 All right, men, fire!
01:10:04 Goodbye, Terrance.
01:10:10 - What is this?
01:10:13 I'll take care of this.
01:10:22 - Kyle!
01:10:25 What? What? What?
01:10:27 I'm not moving!
01:10:31 Stand down, children.
01:10:32 You can still see fartjokes
01:10:34 No! This is about more than fartjokes!
01:10:37 This is about freedom of speech,
01:10:41 What about lke, huh, Mom?
01:10:43 Did you forget that your own
01:10:47 I'm doing very important things.
01:10:50 But, Mom, you never took the time
01:10:53 Whenever I get in trouble,
01:10:57 but I'm the one to blame. Deal with me.
01:10:59 You keep going off
01:11:02 but I don't want a fighter.
01:11:09 Poor little fellow.
01:11:11 No!
01:11:13 Terrance!
01:11:16 - Holy shit, dude!
01:11:28 My time has come!
01:11:30 You are really fucked now!
01:11:32 It's Saddam Hussein! Shoot him!
01:11:36 What a dumbass!
01:11:41 You have spilled
01:11:43 Now begins two million years
01:11:47 Good job, Ms. Broflovski! Thanks a lot!
01:11:49 I was just trying to make the world
01:11:52 Yeah, and you brought
01:11:55 to the world to allow my coming.
01:11:56 Now, everyone bow down to me!
01:12:02 Bend over!
01:12:04 What have we done?
01:12:06 Saddam, I am the dark ruler, not you.
01:12:08 Relax, bitch.
01:12:11 I can't.
01:12:13 Let's start by building a big statue of me
01:12:16 right over there
01:12:18 Hey, don't call me fat, butt-fucker!
01:12:26 Yeah, Cartman, do it!
01:12:28 Damn! Shit!
01:12:33 Yes!
01:12:34 Hey! You need to
01:12:37 Dog shit taco!
01:12:43 Quick, Satan, do something!
01:12:45 Try this on for size.
01:12:47 Blood-drenched
01:12:53 Hey, buddy, I know I was mean before,
01:12:59 Okay.
01:13:01 Not!
01:13:04 Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner,
01:13:06 bitch, muff, pussy, cock, butthole,
01:13:09 Barbra Streisand!
01:13:16 What are you waiting for, bitch?
01:13:19 Come on, you weak,
01:13:21 That's it!
01:13:24 I have had enough of you!
01:13:28 Hey, guy, relax!
01:13:40 He spent so much time convincing me
01:13:43 that I believed it myself.
01:13:47 I have you to thank, little one.
01:13:49 You showed me
01:13:52 Just make any wish you want,
01:13:58 - Are you sure, Kenny?
01:14:00 He said that his wish is for everything
01:14:03 before this horrible war.
01:14:05 Kenny, you realize that means
01:14:18 Very well, then.
01:14:21 I guess I'm destined to live in hell.
01:14:26 Hello. What's this?
01:14:28 Hi, there, little guy.
01:14:33 Sure. I bet we could be
01:14:37 Feel free to come back and visit us
01:14:40 I just might do that.
01:14:42 Thank you, Kenny.
01:14:43 Yeah, thanks for going
01:14:44 You're a real pal.
01:14:51 Goodbye, you guys.
01:15:05 I'm alive. Where's Mr. Hat?
01:15:07 Wow! We were all dying
01:15:10 That's super!
01:15:11 What the fuck's going on?
01:15:17 You see, Mom? After all that,
01:15:19 it was Cartman's filthy fucking mouth
01:15:21 I'm sorry I didn't pay attention
01:15:27 But, Wendy, what about Gregory?
01:15:29 Stan, I never really cared for Gregory.
01:15:31 - You didn't?
01:15:32 - Fuck him right in the ear!
01:15:36 Everything worked out
01:15:39 Americans and Canadians
01:15:44 So let's all join hands
01:15:47 Good Lordy, I'm found
01:15:48 Don't you know our little lives
01:15:51 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet
01:15:53 Super sweet!
01:15:54 Thank God we live in this quiet
01:15:57 Little, pissant, redneck
01:16:01 Greenorn, one-horse
01:16:03 Right-wing, whistle-stop
01:16:06 Old-fashioned, hayseed
01:16:08 Out-of-date, out-of-touch, white-trash
01:16:10 Kick-ass, mountain
01:16:15 Town!
01:16:20 Look!
01:21:07 Guys, up there is Hodun.