Step Brothers

en
00:01:13 Hey, Brennan.
00:01:16 Mom, I'm watching the thing
00:01:19 I'm leaving. Okay?
00:01:21 - Bye, Mom.
00:01:24 Let's slowly get those hips up.
00:01:34 Dale.
00:01:35 Dale, I'm leaving for the conference.
00:01:37 - You leave me money for pizza, Dad?
00:01:41 Do not order pay-per-view, buddy.
00:01:43 - But what if I want wings?
00:01:46 That's not enough, Dad!
00:01:48 The RTI cochlear implant...
00:01:49 ...is the state-of-the-art
00:01:52 ...due to its input processing of sound
00:01:57 But the most exciting
00:01:59 ...is the external processor...
00:02:01 ...which fits directly over the ear...
00:02:04 ...which eliminates the need to put
00:02:10 I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm so lost.
00:02:17 My name is Robert, and I play
00:02:21 Sweet Jesus! I love Korean food.
00:02:22 I am Nancy Huff. I know
00:02:25 ...I contribute to NPR
00:02:28 ...and I love the movies
00:02:30 Pilates changed my life.
00:02:32 I have a boat, and I wanna retire
00:02:36 - I love the sea!
00:02:38 ...and I have a 40-year-old son, Dale,
00:02:41 - What did you just say?
00:02:45 I have a 39-year-old son
00:02:47 ...who still lives at home with me.
00:02:59 I would like to thank all of you...
00:03:02 ...for being here with us
00:03:06 And I would like to raise my glass.
00:03:10 Dale and I wanna welcome you
00:03:16 - Get a room, Dad.
00:03:19 Well, as you all know, my youngest
00:03:23 ...because of an important
00:03:26 But my other son, Brennan, was going
00:03:31 ...but he was recently let go
00:03:35 ...so he is gonna be living with us.
00:03:39 I wasn't fired from my job,
00:03:42 But you wouldn't
00:03:44 I didn't want salmon!
00:03:52 This wedding is horseshit.
00:03:58 Somebody's awfully quiet
00:04:02 I'm not gonna call him Dad.
00:04:05 Brennan, you're 39 years old.
00:04:07 I would not expect you
00:04:09 Well, I'm not going to, ever.
00:04:15 Robert better not get in my face...
00:04:18 ...because I'll drop
00:04:20 Jesus, Brennan.
00:04:22 I'm just saying, I think
00:04:26 I know that you are
00:04:29 ...but that does not mean
00:04:34 Dale, I think it's time for a change
00:04:39 Dad, we're men, okay?
00:04:42 That means a few things.
00:04:45 We like to shit with the door open.
00:04:49 We go on riverboat-gambling trips.
00:04:52 That's what we do.
00:04:57 We literally have never done
00:05:00 Where did he go to medical school?
00:05:02 He went to Northwestern
00:05:05 - Is that good enough for you?
00:05:09 Well, Brennan, those are
00:05:13 I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.
00:05:15 You don't know anyone
00:05:18 It was Johnny Hopkins
00:05:21 ...and they were
00:05:24 All right, here's a scenario
00:05:28 Suppose Nancy sees me
00:05:30 ...and decides to come on to me.
00:05:33 I've got a luscious V of hair...
00:05:36 ...going from my chest pubes
00:05:39 And she takes one look at me,
00:05:42 "Oh, my God.
00:05:44 I've had the old bull,
00:05:48 - And she grabs me by the wiener.
00:06:04 - Come on, Brennan.
00:06:09 - There you are.
00:06:12 Oh, you look so cute
00:06:15 - How was it?
00:06:17 The movers did everything.
00:06:22 Where's Brennan?
00:06:24 He's still in the car.
00:06:26 It was kind of a rough drive.
00:06:28 Hey, Robert,
00:06:30 - Hey, Don.
00:06:33 - Right here, Don.
00:06:36 ...and touch your face?
00:06:38 Thanks. Good luck, guys.
00:06:39 We'll see you, Don.
00:06:40 Let's go, Cinnamon.
00:06:45 Heel! Cinnamon!
00:06:48 Cinnamon!
00:06:50 Hi, Dale.
00:06:51 Hey, Nancy. Could you make me
00:06:54 - Sure.
00:06:56 Dale just ate. He's testing you to see
00:06:59 - I see.
00:07:01 Look in your right hand.
00:07:03 - I sure don't mind a bit. I really don't.
00:07:05 No, no. He's fine.
00:07:32 Hey.
00:07:34 Hey.
00:07:35 I'm Brennan.
00:07:37 I'm Dale.
00:07:39 But you have to call me Dragon.
00:07:42 You have to call me Nighthawk.
00:08:05 Brennan.
00:08:08 Please don't do that.
00:08:17 Now, that's enough ketchup.
00:08:22 - I like it.
00:08:24 Dale, I don't know if you...
00:08:26 You might wanna try this. I make
00:08:31 For me.
00:08:33 - That Brennan really likes
00:08:37 It's my fancy sauce.
00:08:38 Well, when Brennan finishes,
00:08:43 It's ketchup and mayonnaise
00:08:47 It's so good.
00:08:49 - I want some fancy sauce.
00:08:51 - I'm not done using it.
00:08:53 - Can I have fancy sauce?
00:08:56 - I'm using it right now.
00:08:58 - So let's just let him try some.
00:09:01 Yeah, I really would like some.
00:09:04 Just one last spoonful.
00:09:06 Hey, I think you've got
00:09:09 - So here you go.
00:09:11 It's ketchup and mayonnaise.
00:09:15 - I don't like it. It smells weird.
00:09:17 - I'll try some.
00:09:18 - Sure. Absolutely.
00:09:20 You don't mind, do you, Brennan?
00:09:25 - Brennan...
00:09:27 It's okay. It's probably
00:09:29 My dad's king of the castle, so if he
00:09:32 - No, it's all right, Dale.
00:09:35 So you know what?
00:09:36 Today, when you were driving around,
00:09:41 ...into kung fu, and I was telling him
00:09:48 I have a green belt.
00:09:51 Read it and weep.
00:09:52 I don't believe in belts.
00:09:54 There should be no
00:09:57 But one time I wrestled a giraffe
00:10:00 That's not true, Dale.
00:10:04 So, Dale, what have you been
00:10:07 Well...
00:10:10 ...I manage a baseball team.
00:10:12 - Little League?
00:10:24 Take a picture. It'll last longer.
00:10:26 Why don't you stop
00:10:29 I'm not the one staring at me.
00:10:31 So, Brennan, how about you?
00:10:33 I know you used to
00:10:38 - That's right, Mr. Doback.
00:10:41 - That's right, Robin.
00:10:44 Robin.
00:10:47 Actually, Brennan
00:10:51 He's a very gifted singer.
00:10:54 - I'm really, really good.
00:10:58 I've been called
00:11:01 ...by people who've heard me.
00:11:04 That good.
00:11:05 The only trick is
00:11:09 ...particular about
00:11:13 I'm his mom, for example,
00:11:17 That's funny that you say that,
00:11:19 In fact, I'll sing right now.
00:11:21 If you wanna get down
00:11:24 - Hey!
00:11:27 It's a crotch party right up in here
00:11:29 - Stop it!
00:11:31 Stop it, Dale! Stop it! Stop it!
00:11:34 That's cute.
00:11:35 I remember when I had my first beer.
00:11:38 That's so funny,
00:11:40 ...I laughed so hard
00:11:42 Stop right now. All right?
00:11:46 All right. Brennan, it's okay.
00:11:49 Hey, hey.
00:11:51 - Great, Dale.
00:11:53 All right, just...
00:11:56 Okay, sleeping arrangements.
00:11:59 ...but because Dale refuses
00:12:04 ...that means that, Brennan, you and
00:12:07 - But it's just temporary.
00:12:11 Well, it's gonna be
00:12:14 You wanna show him the room, Dale?
00:12:19 - That's nice, thank you.
00:12:23 Hey, listen, I like to have
00:12:28 ...and chocolate chips
00:12:31 - Write it so you don't forget.
00:12:34 She's Mom now, so...
00:12:36 - Good night, Mom.
00:12:40 - Good night, Mr. Doback.
00:12:51 So just a few basic rules
00:12:54 If there's any foods that you like...
00:12:56 ...I suggest you put your name
00:13:00 By me.
00:13:02 House was built in 1825
00:13:05 I wanna show you this room.
00:13:08 Hold up.
00:13:11 - You see this room?
00:13:13 Okay, here's the deal.
00:13:16 This is my office
00:13:19 Okay?
00:13:21 And this is the one rule of the house:
00:13:23 Don't ever, ever, ever...
00:13:27 ...touch my drum set.
00:13:30 - You understand?
00:13:32 - No touching!
00:13:34 There. I was at about six there.
00:13:36 You don't wanna see me go to 10.
00:13:38 Get your shit.
00:13:49 Honey?
00:13:52 I just found a chain of islands
00:13:55 That's wonderful.
00:13:58 You know,
00:14:06 Why is it that Dale never left?
00:14:11 Well, Dale has always
00:14:15 I mean, he left college
00:14:17 ...because he said he wanted
00:14:20 - But you're a medical doctor.
00:14:24 But he just always says,
00:14:27 I don't know where
00:14:30 Maybe it was his mother passing.
00:14:33 From what you've told me...
00:14:35 ...his younger brother Derek's
00:14:38 Well, certainly when his father
00:14:42 And this one time, when Brennan
00:14:47 ...and Brennan decided
00:14:51 He sang a song
00:14:55 But Derek got his football buddies
00:15:00 "Brennan has a mangina. "
00:15:02 Brennan has a mangina
00:15:06 Finally, the audience and even some
00:15:12 "Brennan has a mangina. "
00:15:15 And I have to admit, for a little while,
00:15:19 From that day on,
00:15:23 Derek went on to win the contest
00:15:32 - Oh, that's a great song.
00:15:36 - Hey, you awake?
00:15:44 I just want you to know I hate you.
00:15:50 Well, that's fine.
00:15:54 Because guess what.
00:15:56 I hate you too.
00:15:58 And this house sucks ass.
00:16:01 Well, the only reason
00:16:04 ...is because me and my dad decided
00:16:08 ...and maybe we should just
00:16:10 And we'll put up with the retard
00:16:13 - Who's the retard?
00:16:16 - Hey, y'all don't say that.
00:16:19 You'll wake up my dad
00:16:21 Just shut up.
00:16:23 You and your mom are hillbillies.
00:16:26 - This is a house of learned doctors.
00:16:31 You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck.
00:16:35 - Oh, yeah?
00:16:37 - I'm a curly-headed fuck?
00:16:40 You better not go to sleep.
00:16:42 As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna
00:16:45 I hope you stay still
00:16:48 ...because I'm putting a rat trap
00:16:51 I'm gonna take a pillowcase
00:16:55 ...and beat the shit out of you.
00:17:01 I want you out of my fucking house.
00:17:03 No way, kemosabe.
00:17:07 This is my house now.
00:17:12 How do you like The Gilded Lady?
00:17:14 I wish we could retire right now.
00:17:16 Won't be long.
00:17:29 Oh, God! It's cold!
00:17:32 Hey! Is anyone listening? Help!
00:18:21 Fuck you, Dale! Fuck you!
00:18:24 - Obviously you guys are hot.
00:18:26 Just revealed her cover.
00:18:29 A little girl-on-girl.
00:18:35 - Hey.
00:18:40 - Why you so sweaty?
00:18:43 Not supposed to have
00:19:09 Hey, man.
00:19:12 Did you touch my drum set?
00:19:15 - Nope.
00:19:18 ...because seems like someone
00:19:22 Yeah, that is weird.
00:19:26 - Hey! Did you touch my drum set?
00:19:29 I know you touched my drumstick,
00:19:34 You fucking crazy, man?
00:19:36 You sound insane, do you realize
00:19:40 Fuck you, Brennan.
00:19:43 I wanna hear that
00:19:44 You get out of my face,
00:19:48 You swear on your mom's life
00:19:50 I don't swear to shit!
00:19:51 That's because you fucking
00:19:54 ...because I know
00:19:59 - Where are you going?
00:20:02 Because I'm gonna put my nut sack
00:20:06 Don't you do that.
00:20:10 If you touch my drums, I will
00:20:15 If you even go in the room,
00:20:19 Don't wanna miss a spot.
00:20:21 John Bonham's playing
00:20:23 I swear to God. I swear to God! No!
00:20:35 I warned you.
00:20:37 There's one rule in the house,
00:20:50 I didn't touch your damn drum set!
00:20:55 I'm pre-diabetic!
00:21:02 You fucking fucker! I'm gonna
00:21:07 Come back here!
00:21:14 I'll kill you! You son of a bitch!
00:21:18 Your drum set's a whore!
00:21:20 I teabagged your fucking drum set!
00:21:22 Well, my drum set's a guy,
00:21:26 I'll kill you!
00:21:29 I think it's gonna go
00:21:31 - Line three.
00:21:33 Yeah.
00:21:36 Jules? Wait, what's wrong?
00:21:41 - Back!
00:21:46 Stop it! Stop it!
00:21:49 - Rape! Rape! Rape!
00:21:53 - Stay out of this, Nancy!
00:21:56 - Oh, my God, you're hurting him!
00:21:58 Cinnamon! Stop it!
00:22:02 My mom is being eaten by a dog,
00:22:05 - No, a story has a...
00:22:07 Dr. Doback, the phone's for you.
00:22:09 Hello?
00:22:11 Robert, they're like animals!
00:22:13 Stop screaming. Please.
00:22:16 There seems to be some
00:22:18 ...between my son and stepson,
00:22:22 Family issues, huh?
00:22:24 I don't believe in talking about
00:22:27 ...behind their back.
00:22:28 You know nobody likes you, right?
00:22:30 Rape! Rape! Rape!
00:22:38 What's going on?
00:22:39 Robert! They won't... They won't...
00:22:42 - Stop it! Stop it!
00:22:44 - Stay out of it, Dad!
00:22:54 What the fucking fuck?
00:23:01 Someone got some air. Snap.
00:23:04 - I still hate you.
00:23:06 Such power. It's raw power.
00:23:08 What are you doing?
00:23:10 Okay, here's the deal:
00:23:11 Number one, you will fix
00:23:15 Number two, you have one month to
00:23:19 I will arrange interviews for Monday,
00:23:21 Dad, why are you talking
00:23:25 I'm not buying that crap anymore.
00:23:27 Today I saw my own son
00:23:31 You yelled "rape"
00:23:34 Mom, I honestly thought
00:23:38 He had the craziest look in his eyes.
00:23:41 And at one point he said,
00:23:44 That was about the fighting.
00:23:47 I didn't touch your drum set, okay?
00:23:49 I witnessed with my eyes
00:23:54 All right, that's it! That's it!
00:23:57 You two guys leave me no choice.
00:23:59 No television for a week.
00:24:01 - What?!
00:24:02 - We are so serious, guys.
00:24:05 Are you out of your mind?
00:24:06 This goes in Robert's wall safe
00:24:09 - No!
00:24:11 - This house is a fucking prison!
00:24:15 In the galaxy of
00:24:48 Hi! Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol.
00:24:53 - Hey.
00:25:02 I gotcha.
00:25:03 I gotcha.
00:25:11 Aunt Carol's on fire!
00:25:30 I don't know where you learned it.
00:25:31 - Well, there's lots more where that...
00:25:34 - Oh, no. What happened?
00:25:38 Oh, my God.
00:25:41 Maybe Dale left the back door open
00:25:44 Nancy? Is this your purse
00:25:47 Yes. It's Brennan.
00:25:50 He sleepwalks and he always
00:25:53 Dale sleepwalks too.
00:25:55 - Are you kidding me?
00:25:59 - What's in the...? Couch pillows?
00:26:02 Yeah, Dale.
00:26:05 Come on.
00:26:07 - It's okay.
00:26:10 It's gonna be fine.
00:26:11 They're gonna get jobs,
00:26:22 Guys.
00:26:25 - Guys. Guys!
00:26:28 The clown has no penis.
00:26:31 What kind of dreams
00:26:33 Hey, it's 12:30.
00:26:35 Brennan, your brother's
00:26:38 - Today?
00:26:39 - Shit.
00:26:42 My little brother's even
00:26:46 All right, let's really nail it this time.
00:26:49 A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.
00:27:12 All right, Tommy, you're the oldest.
00:27:28 Nice vibrato, buddy.
00:27:33 Flat. It's so flat.
00:27:35 I can't even... You don't even
00:27:38 The worst thing I've ever heard.
00:27:40 This is $ 1200 a week for
00:27:44 Okay, I'm gonna save it
00:27:47 I'm Derek
00:27:49 And I can sing high like this
00:27:55 And I can sing high
00:28:01 Jesus!
00:28:17 We were so sad you guys
00:28:20 - But we completely understand.
00:28:22 You were busy fishing
00:28:24 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:28:26 ...but we had Chris Daughtry,
00:28:30 It was insane.
00:28:32 My God, that's impressive.
00:28:33 Yeah, we were down in the Gulf,
00:28:36 Robert, have you ever been down
00:28:39 Always wanted to.
00:28:41 - It is. It's gorgeous.
00:28:45 What?
00:28:46 Don't interrupt
00:28:48 - It's fine, Robert.
00:28:51 - What's this guy's deal?
00:28:54 Well, Dale, they are
00:28:58 So, yeah, they're pretty big.
00:29:02 I'm sorry.
00:29:06 Anyway...
00:29:08 Oh, God, I'm sorry,
00:29:11 Damn it, Dale.
00:29:12 - No...
00:29:14 - What?
00:29:15 No, he can join in, Robert.
00:29:18 Well, I asked him twice
00:29:20 Gang, don't be mad at Dale for ruining
00:29:24 It's totally fine.
00:29:26 - Derek, that you do. That you do.
00:29:30 - Guilty as charged with the stories.
00:29:34 Come on. I love talking to you.
00:29:37 From across the room,
00:29:40 You and me, man. You're my
00:29:45 - I never heard that laugh before.
00:29:49 Oh, hey, by the way, guys,
00:29:59 You're right about your brother.
00:30:04 Told you.
00:30:06 You know what? I still hate you...
00:30:08 ...but you got a pretty awesome
00:30:10 Yeah, I got them
00:30:14 It's like masturbating
00:30:17 Anyway, so I figure by the summer
00:30:21 But I think about it
00:30:24 Let me ask you this, Bob,
00:30:26 - Well, I gotta make more money.
00:30:29 I hear you, believe me.
00:30:30 But what if I were to tell you
00:30:33 ...for 30 percent above market?
00:30:35 - That'd be great. Could you do it?
00:30:39 Look, I got my real-estate license
00:30:42 I'd do it for four-fifths commish...
00:30:44 ...because you know what really
00:30:46 Helping out my friends.
00:30:48 That'd be fantastic.
00:30:51 - No, it would be kick-ass, bro.
00:30:53 Right there.
00:30:57 What about Dale and Brennan?
00:30:58 Because they haven't
00:31:00 God, change the record.
00:31:03 Sweet!
00:31:06 Robert. Don't talk to me like that
00:31:10 Oh, come on. We're talking about
00:31:13 Yeah, it's our dream, but I think it
00:31:17 I'm just saying give it some thought,
00:31:21 Holy shit, triplets.
00:31:25 It's true, three's company.
00:31:27 - It shows tons of bush.
00:31:29 Careful with that. You're crinkling.
00:31:32 That's a collector's item.
00:31:35 What's up, faggots?
00:31:36 What's up, man? What, you're not
00:31:40 Hi, Derek.
00:31:41 Whoa, calm down, man.
00:31:44 You guys, I really like
00:31:47 What is your problem, man?
00:31:49 My problem? I don't know.
00:31:53 Actually, I have the opposite
00:31:55 I made over 550 K last year.
00:31:58 - It's not about money.
00:32:00 Well, for me,
00:32:03 ...and I made
00:32:05 I am the VP of the biggest...
00:32:06 ...executive-helicopter-leasing
00:32:10 Okay? I haven't had a carb
00:32:14 Check these out. See these?
00:32:17 This is what I live with.
00:32:18 Every day I lather this up
00:32:21 You wanna touch this shit?
00:32:24 Sorry, not gonna happen.
00:32:26 Is there something you want?
00:32:28 I promised Mom I'd offer you a job.
00:32:30 I told her it'd count as her
00:32:33 No. I'm never gonna work for you.
00:32:35 Fine. I don't care.
00:32:36 The truth is I just smoked a J
00:32:40 ...so feeling a little spacy.
00:32:42 Know what I'm say...?
00:32:45 What you looking at, kemosabe?
00:32:46 You...
00:32:48 You wanna punch me right now.
00:32:51 You wanna punch me right now,
00:32:55 You wanna punch me too?
00:32:56 You guys both look like you might
00:32:59 You do, I can tell.
00:33:01 Why don't you punch me
00:33:03 Punch me in the fucking face!
00:33:11 - Oh, shit.
00:33:14 That was awesome.
00:33:16 Mom! Mom!
00:33:18 Derek, know what's always good
00:33:20 - What?
00:33:23 Snap!
00:33:26 - Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Bobby.
00:33:28 Aside from that retard trying to punch
00:33:32 - It was our pleasure, son.
00:33:35 Oh, don't, don't.
00:33:37 Bye, kids. I'll check out that stock
00:33:39 Excuse me.
00:33:41 - Hi. I'm Alice, I'm Derek's wife.
00:33:44 Is it true you struck Derek in the face
00:33:48 Yeah. He asked me to.
00:33:50 Oh, that's the most amazing thing
00:33:52 I want you to know that tonight...
00:33:54 ...I am gonna pleasure myself to
00:33:58 You know what I mean?
00:33:59 Masturbate.
00:34:01 I am.
00:34:03 Oh, Dale.
00:34:05 You are something.
00:34:07 You are something.
00:34:11 You're something too.
00:34:13 I wanna roll you into a little ball
00:34:17 You could just live there.
00:34:21 In your vagina?
00:34:23 I wanna walk around with you
00:34:26 ...whenever I feel a little tickle
00:34:29 ...that it's just your hair
00:34:32 Please, just do it for me.
00:34:35 What's happening?
00:34:38 Kiss me.
00:34:43 I know. I know. It's too much.
00:34:47 It's too much.
00:34:52 I hate my life, Dale.
00:34:55 Dale, I hate my life!
00:34:59 - Well, you seemed okay at the di...
00:35:01 Alice! Honey, come on!
00:35:03 Dane Cook, pay-per-view,
00:35:07 Coming, honey!
00:35:10 This is so stupid.
00:35:14 Call me.
00:35:15 - I love you.
00:35:25 - Hey. What'd she want?
00:35:28 Nothing. Who's...? Who?
00:35:32 Alice.
00:35:33 We were just talking. Not...
00:35:38 I can't believe you hit Derek.
00:35:41 I know. Did you see
00:35:44 - That was cool.
00:35:47 I know that we started out as foe.
00:35:50 But after that courageous act...
00:35:53 ...that you showed me
00:35:56 ...maybe someday
00:36:02 Friends who ride majestic,
00:36:06 ...shooting flaming arrows
00:36:10 I would follow you into the mists
00:36:13 Do you wanna see something cool
00:36:21 Okay, open your eyes.
00:36:24 See that black smudge
00:36:27 - Yeah.
00:36:29 - Pretty recognizable signature.
00:36:31 Randy Jackson from American Idol.
00:36:34 Why do you have Randy Jackson's
00:36:37 I bumped into him
00:36:40 ...and you're not gonna not get
00:36:43 I would've done
00:36:46 Now, do you wanna see
00:36:49 - Of course.
00:36:54 Industrial-strength
00:36:58 Holy Santa Claus shit.
00:37:00 Can you imagine if we had these
00:37:03 Even better.
00:37:05 You know what's amazing? They're
00:37:10 - Right?
00:37:13 I can't believe I've been living here
00:37:16 ...and I'm walking
00:37:18 ...thinking I've got a huge doucher
00:37:21 Secretly, you're not a doucher.
00:37:24 Let's play a game, all right?
00:37:26 On the count of three,
00:37:28 Don't even think about it, just name it.
00:37:32 - Velociraptor.
00:37:34 Favorite non-pornographic magazine
00:37:37 - Good Housekeeping.
00:37:40 If you were a chick, who's
00:37:43 - John Stamos.
00:37:45 - What?
00:37:47 Yep.
00:37:49 Do you wanna go do karate
00:37:51 Yup!
00:38:12 - Yeah!
00:38:18 I think they're starting to
00:38:21 I got a really bad feeling about this.
00:38:25 - Sword fight!
00:38:27 Sword fight!
00:38:32 - Exactly the same!
00:38:38 Now you're in trouble.
00:38:42 - Come on!
00:38:43 They're betting against you,
00:38:46 - Yeah!
00:38:50 Is this a bad time?
00:38:51 What the hell's going on?
00:38:52 Ma, Mr. Doback, okay,
00:38:56 Please, stop calling me Mr. Doback.
00:38:57 Sorry. Okay.
00:38:59 Mom, Doback...
00:39:02 ...we think it would be very prudent...
00:39:05 - Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?
00:39:08 Why are you guys so sweaty?
00:39:09 We've already figured out how.
00:39:12 It would give us so much extra space
00:39:16 Please say yes.
00:39:17 You don't need our permission
00:39:19 You're adults.
00:39:22 So?
00:39:25 I'm not making myself clear.
00:39:28 I don't give a fuck.
00:39:30 Now, you both have
00:39:33 I would think you'd be focused
00:39:39 - So?
00:39:41 - We can? No?
00:39:46 - I knew it.
00:39:48 We'll get so much more
00:39:50 This is the funnest night ever!
00:39:54 This is so scary.
00:39:58 - How you doing over there?
00:40:02 Okay.
00:40:03 Does your son know anything
00:40:05 No, not a th... Did I hear a drill?
00:40:08 - Dale! Dale, no power tools!
00:40:11 - What?
00:40:13 - No, I forgot, I have to brush my teeth.
00:40:17 Oh, okay. Well, I'm all done anyway.
00:40:19 - We did it.
00:40:21 It looks amazing!
00:40:22 Look at that! That looks like
00:40:25 - Should've been a bunk bed all along.
00:40:28 - We could do aerobics in here.
00:40:31 - Do step class.
00:40:33 ...how many activities we can do.
00:40:36 - Yeah.
00:40:42 Hey, I never asked you.
00:40:47 Oh, Brennan! Oh, God!
00:40:49 Brennan! Brennan!
00:40:52 Dad. Nancy. It's bad.
00:40:54 It's so bad.
00:40:57 The bunk beds were a terrible idea.
00:41:00 It's so bad!
00:41:02 How would you describe that?
00:41:06 - It's not so bad.
00:41:11 Put your beds back.
00:41:12 Rumpus time is over.
00:41:14 You got a big day tomorrow.
00:41:20 And although she was 88 years old,
00:41:22 And although she was 88 years old,
00:41:24 It's 8:20 in the a. m.
00:41:26 Coming up next, a recent study
00:41:29 Look at her. She's hot.
00:41:32 Okay, guys, this is it.
00:41:36 Dad, I need to borrow
00:41:39 ...since I don't have
00:41:41 You go in my closet, take whatever
00:41:44 This is the most important
00:41:46 - Okay.
00:41:48 - All right? Relax.
00:41:49 I gotta go. I gotta go.
00:41:50 This is your day.
00:41:53 - This is your one day!
00:41:56 Mr. Huff, Mr. Jeener
00:41:59 Actually, we'll be
00:42:01 We're here to fuck shit up.
00:42:08 Move it!
00:42:18 Hey!
00:42:20 Well, Brennan, you certainly
00:42:22 I'm a bit of a spark plug.
00:42:24 And, Human Resources lady,
00:42:27 - You know, it's... Actually, it's Pam.
00:42:30 - Well, Pan...
00:42:33 - Are you saying Pan or Pam?
00:42:37 Yeah, I'm sorry, who is this
00:42:41 Hello, Ms. Lady. I'm Dale.
00:42:44 ...and I think I might be able to help
00:42:47 - Yeah, that'd be great.
00:42:49 - Pan.
00:42:51 - Pand. There's a D on the end.
00:42:53 - There's no D. It's Pam.
00:42:59 - N-N. There's two N's.
00:43:02 No, there's just one M.
00:43:03 What do you say we interview you?
00:43:06 All right. Yes, that's a
00:43:09 Please put your hand down.
00:43:11 Go ahead.
00:43:12 How much money do you make
00:43:16 Okay, I'm actually not comfortable
00:43:18 - Come on!
00:43:21 Here's a shot out of a cannon:
00:43:25 You gotta fuck one,
00:43:27 I think we're done here. Thank you.
00:43:29 Mr. Huff, under your references,
00:43:33 ...which I know is this gentleman,
00:43:36 ..."Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. "
00:43:38 Yeah, we are looking for people
00:43:41 We wanna tell you the stuff
00:43:43 - Our weaknesses.
00:43:46 - Okay.
00:43:49 ...in an office setting, I would say.
00:43:52 I won't go into an office
00:43:55 I am no good before 11 a. m.
00:43:58 I also get headaches from computers,
00:44:02 I take stuff.
00:44:03 I need someone to go up and down
00:44:06 I have a weakness for sweets.
00:44:09 Other weaknesses?
00:44:10 We're slow learners and we're
00:44:13 - That'll be a huge problem.
00:44:17 First of all,
00:44:19 Wait, shut your mouth.
00:44:21 I think we've had enough...
00:44:23 - Shush up for one second.
00:44:25 - Wait, shut your mouth.
00:44:28 - You're just coming off stupid.
00:44:31 You're wearing tuxedos to a job that
00:44:35 - Please leave this office, we're done.
00:44:38 Get out of my office!
00:44:40 I'm looking to hire guys I don't mind
00:44:44 You guys seem like cool guys.
00:44:46 Got hair similar to mine,
00:44:49 That's funny, it's ironic. I get that.
00:44:51 Underplaying the whole formality of it.
00:44:55 So let's do this, you know?
00:44:58 Unless you're the weirdest guys ever
00:45:01 Great.
00:45:19 - Was that a fart?
00:45:22 I can taste it.
00:45:24 On my tongue.
00:45:26 Okay, I'll be honest with you.
00:45:28 Is that onion? Onion and...
00:45:31 - It stinks. And this is a small room.
00:45:35 Okay, now the tuxedos
00:45:39 God. We were so close.
00:45:43 So, what do we do for jobs?
00:45:46 Listen, don't worry about my dad.
00:45:51 Got him sewn up.
00:45:54 We've gotta start thinking bigger,
00:45:58 Listen, what are you really good at?
00:46:00 Singing. I'm a world-class singer.
00:46:03 See? Right there,
00:46:06 Now, what am I good at?
00:46:07 I can shred on the drums
00:46:10 Put all that together,
00:46:14 - I don't know, a band?
00:46:17 Even better: We are gonna start an
00:46:22 The biggest and the best.
00:46:25 And we're gonna call it
00:46:29 That sounds so cool.
00:46:30 I feel like a lightning bolt
00:46:35 Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:37 We're brothers. This is why we met.
00:46:40 - To form this alliance, right?
00:46:43 That's why our parents met,
00:46:45 - Okay, what do we do?
00:46:48 And we hit the beat laboratory
00:46:52 - What?
00:46:53 What time is it?
00:46:55 - 4:30.
00:46:57 4:32.
00:47:01 - I can't go down Whitworth right now.
00:47:05 We should go this way.
00:47:08 - What's up?
00:47:10 - What?
00:47:12 ...and I just don't wanna
00:47:14 - Are you this scared?
00:47:19 - Down Cutler?
00:47:20 But that's 45 minutes.
00:47:22 You're gonna shame me
00:47:24 - You sound stupid.
00:47:27 Oh, man.
00:47:30 Oh, God, there they are.
00:47:34 Oh, my God, is that Dale Doback?
00:47:36 - Let's make him lick dog shit.
00:47:40 Hey, fag-stick. Long time, no see.
00:47:44 Is that your boyfriend?
00:47:47 Look, Mr. Gardocki,
00:47:49 Shut your mouth, esé.
00:47:51 You guys just go back and have fun
00:47:55 Does butt buddy have a name?
00:47:57 If you're referring to me as
00:48:01 It's Brennan Huff.
00:48:02 If you don't come over here
00:48:06 ...I'm gonna plow into your nose
00:48:08 - I'm not licking any white dog shit.
00:48:12 Dale, you're not licking
00:48:16 - Brennan, it's just dog shit.
00:48:18 - Hello, how are...?
00:48:22 Leave him alone! Leave him alone!
00:48:27 Get them!
00:48:40 So maybe you don't
00:48:44 Maybe you go the long way home.
00:48:46 That's what we talked about.
00:48:49 You know in that one scene
00:48:52 ...when the flying monkeys
00:48:55 That's what it was like.
00:48:57 - It's okay, it's okay.
00:48:59 Is my dad mad about
00:49:02 Robert was very upset, yes.
00:49:05 He knows that you interviewed
00:49:08 And he heard about the fart.
00:49:10 - Oh, he did?
00:49:12 You just couldn't hold it, or you...?
00:49:14 - No. I thought it was gonna be silent.
00:49:17 Just kept going, and it made a sound.
00:49:20 It got louder.
00:49:21 So listen, Bobby,
00:49:24 ...and then we'll start setting up times.
00:49:29 - Hi, Mom.
00:49:30 - Okay, bye.
00:49:32 - Always nice to see you.
00:49:43 Hey, guys.
00:49:45 Looks like your
00:49:47 Have fun living on the streets.
00:49:49 Okay, cool. Good chatting, you guys.
00:49:52 - Bye.
00:49:57 What was he doing here?
00:49:59 We're putting the house
00:50:01 - Where are we moving?
00:50:05 Nancy and I are retiring...
00:50:07 ...and sailing around the world
00:50:10 We are living the dream.
00:50:13 Well, what about us?
00:50:16 I'm sorry. Robert... We thought that...
00:50:21 ...you should take responsibility
00:50:25 This is the exciting part:
00:50:26 We're going to put enough
00:50:29 ...for a security deposit
00:50:31 What's this all about?
00:50:32 More than just money, we're gonna get
00:50:37 You're both gonna see therapists.
00:50:40 - Guys, that's nonnegotiable.
00:50:44 ...Derek's selling the house,
00:50:48 - What the fuck happened?
00:50:50 Look, I know this seems
00:50:54 ...and just sort of unfair
00:50:56 - But it's nonnegotiable.
00:50:59 I got a bellyful
00:51:02 ...and now you lay this shit on me?
00:51:04 You're adults. It's time
00:51:07 - Mom.
00:51:10 Don't even try.
00:51:12 I know it seems hard,
00:51:15 We do it because we love you.
00:51:17 Dad, I'm doing this because
00:51:21 - Anything else?
00:51:23 Bon voyage! Have a great time!
00:51:26 Hey, what's up, Derek?
00:51:29 Yeah.
00:51:30 - Know what?
00:51:31 I'm sitting here thinking we finally got
00:51:35 ...and now it's about to be taken away
00:51:39 - Because they don't understand us?
00:51:43 They don't get that this lifestyle
00:51:46 And all they think about
00:51:50 I swear, I'm so pissed off
00:51:53 As soon as she is of age,
00:51:57 We have got to get
00:52:00 It's the thing that's
00:52:02 I was thinking we should
00:52:05 ...like on The Apprentice.
00:52:06 We gotta start
00:52:09 Here's the thing, though:
00:52:11 If we're gonna start
00:52:14 ...I have to hear you sing.
00:52:16 Can't you just trust that
00:52:19 Just one song, so I know
00:52:23 Yeah, yeah. I'll just do it.
00:52:25 No big deal. I'll just dive into it
00:52:33 Jesus, my heart is beating
00:52:37 Okay, just do it. Just do it.
00:52:39 Just...
00:53:30 You know, I don't know.
00:53:31 I didn't sing too loud, because I don't
00:53:34 My throat's sore. I've had
00:53:38 And this is not an acoustic
00:53:41 ...to request this from me.
00:53:43 You gotta know,
00:53:47 Brennan, that is
00:53:52 Brennan, I can't even make
00:53:55 Your voice is like a combination
00:53:58 Why can't you do that
00:54:00 Are you messing with me right now?
00:54:02 It's me, Dale.
00:54:06 You're good.
00:54:08 - I know.
00:54:10 ...but for a second, I think
00:54:15 I felt like I was hovering
00:54:19 ...watching myself sing.
00:54:21 Now, let's move on
00:54:23 First thing tomorrow, we gotta get
00:54:27 And guess what else.
00:54:30 - We're making a music video.
00:54:35 What do we do about Derek
00:54:38 Don't worry about him.
00:54:51 Oh, it's a great "nabe. "
00:54:52 Frank Gifford
00:54:54 - The Giff?
00:54:58 I'm getting
00:55:00 I am so glad.
00:55:02 You get us that 10-year
00:55:04 Hey, fuckers!
00:55:08 - My name is Craig.
00:55:12 You guys ever need fertilizer,
00:55:16 Hey, folks! How you doing?
00:55:20 Every single house here recycles.
00:55:22 - Okay, we're done here.
00:55:24 Hey, Derek, sprechen sie dick.
00:55:27 Dale, I don't know how much
00:55:30 ...but it usually starts by you
00:55:33 I work at a college as a janitor...
00:55:36 ...even though I'm smarter
00:55:38 Sometimes I see an equation
00:55:41 ...like half an equation,
00:55:45 - Is this Good Will Hunting?
00:55:47 It sounds a lot like the plot
00:55:50 Yeah. Anyway.
00:55:54 So I thought we'd begin
00:55:58 Okay.
00:55:59 How old were you
00:56:01 - Fifteen.
00:56:03 - Yes. Yeah.
00:56:06 ...about some of those feelings?
00:56:09 - Obviously, you don't know me.
00:56:12 Thank you. And I will take that
00:56:16 ...of comfortability with me.
00:56:18 It's more than comfortability.
00:56:20 - I mean, I fucking love you.
00:56:24 I'm just thinking
00:56:26 I feel like I'm walking on a cloud.
00:56:28 My penis is tingling right now.
00:56:31 - That is so off-putting.
00:56:35 In no way, shape or form do I feel
00:56:38 ...in any way whatsoever.
00:56:41 You got a really dope
00:56:43 You and your homeboys
00:00:03 No, that's how I talk.
00:00:04 Oh, you got a really fresh
00:00:07 - Show you the front of the house,
00:00:10 Will you vultures please give us some
00:00:14 What is going on here?
00:00:16 It was the asbestos in here,
00:00:19 I've seen too many dead bodies.
00:00:20 - I can't be in here. I can't.
00:00:26 - Not bad.
00:00:29 - Awesome B-day party, broheisens.
00:00:33 Okay, who's this from? TJ?
00:00:35 Where are
00:00:37 Totally joking around, TJ.
00:00:39 All right.
00:00:41 Oh, yes! Yes! Callaway 3-wood.
00:00:45 - Yeah!
00:00:47 Yeah.
00:00:49 - Bomb it down the fairway, bitches!
00:00:54 Hi, my name is Jim.
00:00:57 - It's just me. Hi.
00:00:59 What are you doing?
00:01:02 Happy anniversary.
00:01:04 - It's our second date.
00:01:06 Listen, I'm sick of being
00:01:11 - We're in the bathroom.
00:01:14 There's really little you can
00:01:18 It's all slippery.
00:01:21 Oh, my God!
00:01:28 It's getting tingly.
00:01:39 Oh, we just had sex.
00:01:41 - Just the way I imagined it.
00:01:45 I love you.
00:01:47 - Stay golden, Ponyboy. I gotta pee.
00:01:51 Oh, my God.
00:01:53 You're incredible.
00:01:56 Say hello to my little friend.
00:02:00 - Just kidding. It's from Scarface.
00:02:04 Shut the fuck up!
00:02:07 - Sweet-ass gift, Teej.
00:02:09 - I got it all mapped out.
00:02:11 - I'm following your lead, though.
00:02:14 - Okay.
00:02:16 And then we'll drop the hammer.
00:02:18 What were Dale and Brennan doing
00:02:22 I have no idea. And frankly,
00:02:26 I would like to say a few things.
00:02:28 Derek, you are an outstanding
00:02:31 And I would like say that
00:02:34 That sometimes when I'm making love
00:02:37 ...this is where you came from,
00:02:40 ...that I talked to my lawyer,
00:02:43 ...in my heart forever, but you're
00:02:46 - Okay. Okay.
00:02:48 - Robert, that was fucking awesome.
00:02:50 You got a lot of this, buddy.
00:02:53 Thank you.
00:02:55 Everyone, if I could have
00:02:58 For those of you
00:03:00 ...my name's Dale Doback.
00:03:01 I'm Robert's other son,
00:03:05 Check. Check.
00:03:07 Probably wondering
00:03:09 ...besides Derek's birthday.
00:03:12 We got a special surprise for you,
00:03:15 - Check, check.
00:03:16 - Dale. No, please.
00:03:18 - I'm begging you.
00:03:21 - Just hold on.
00:03:23 ...we thought we'd roll out...
00:03:24 ...a once-in-a-lifetime
00:03:27 Happy birthday, Derek.
00:03:28 Music.
00:03:33 Prestige Worldwide,
00:03:38 Prestige Worldwide.
00:03:41 - The first word in entertainment.
00:03:44 - Management.
00:03:46 - Insurance.
00:03:48 - Black leather gloves.
00:03:52 Putting in the man-hours to study
00:03:55 Last week we put Liquid Paper
00:03:58 ...and it died.
00:03:59 - Security.
00:04:01 - And...
00:04:05 - Possibly you.
00:04:06 - Oh, this is classic. This is...
00:04:10 ...the world premiere of Prestige
00:04:14 ...by our first act, Huff and Doback.
00:04:18 - Roll it.
00:04:22 Pay close attention, Dad.
00:04:26 - This is... This is perfect.
00:04:29 Yes, it is.
00:04:31 What are you doing on my boat?
00:04:33 The Nina, the Pinta
00:04:36 I'll do you in the bottom
00:04:38 Nachos and Lemonheads
00:04:41 You won't go down
00:04:43 We sail around the world
00:04:46 Every time I come
00:04:49 That is offensive. Brennan, Dale.
00:04:51 I gotta have me my boats and ho's
00:04:54 Deadliest Catch without the crabs
00:04:56 We're almost out of gas
00:04:59 Pull up the anchor
00:05:01 Get below deck
00:05:04 Boats and ho's
00:05:06 I gotta have me my boats and ho's
00:05:09 Are you ready for some
00:05:12 - Get a partner.
00:05:14 - Who's steering the boat?
00:05:16 Please shut up!
00:05:27 Yeah!
00:05:35 So...
00:05:36 ...big question is:
00:05:39 Aside from the damage to the boat,
00:05:44 ...what'd you think
00:05:46 Brennan, I think that what you did
00:05:52 Having said that,
00:05:55 ...showed a lot of enthusiasm
00:05:58 Yes. Thank you.
00:06:01 You gotta be kidding me.
00:06:03 They destroyed our dream
00:06:06 - No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that.
00:06:09 Come on, you did.
00:06:11 It's gonna be four years, at least,
00:06:14 - And you could care less, admit it.
00:06:18 ...because it is not true.
00:06:20 But, you know,
00:06:24 ...a little bit more attentiveness
00:06:28 ...who obviously need you.
00:06:30 It's true, Dr. Doback.
00:06:31 You've been very cold
00:06:34 You wrecked my fucking boat,
00:06:36 Don't speak to my son like that.
00:06:38 Your son's costing me $80,000.
00:06:41 We could bicker about this all night,
00:06:44 - Are you guys gonna invest or not?
00:06:47 - What are you doing?
00:06:50 I can't believe
00:06:52 - Robert, come down.
00:06:55 You jackaloons!
00:06:56 You're failures! Failures!
00:07:00 And you're embarrassing yourself,
00:07:03 - Brennan.
00:07:05 You keep your liver-spotted hands
00:07:08 She's a saint!
00:07:09 Then you sit down and you write Dale
00:07:13 Oh, stop it.
00:07:14 Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake
00:07:18 - Brennan!
00:07:20 ...of your small intestine
00:07:23 - All right, here we go.
00:07:25 Somebody should've done this
00:07:28 - What are you doing?
00:07:30 There are consequences
00:07:32 - No! Robert!
00:07:35 - This is not the answer.
00:07:37 - You understand me?
00:07:39 - Certain behaviors...
00:07:42 ...will not be tolerated!
00:07:55 Wow, the tree looks great, Nancy.
00:08:00 Thank you, Dale. That's a very nice
00:08:04 It was my mom's.
00:08:07 Oh, and, Brennan? Denise called...
00:08:09 ...and she said she can't go out
00:08:12 ...because she's not your girlfriend,
00:08:15 - Is that what she said?
00:08:17 She's a rascal.
00:08:18 Hey, Dad, Nancy?
00:08:20 Would it be cool if Brennan and I
00:08:26 ...since it's Christmas Eve?
00:08:28 I'm gonna go down to the
00:08:34 But it's Christmas Eve.
00:08:37 Merry Christmas.
00:08:39 - Yes.
00:08:41 I had my eye on one.
00:08:44 I hope it's what I think it is.
00:08:46 Oh, my God. Hulk Hands!
00:08:48 Wait, Dale got Hulk Hands?
00:08:55 Well, you reek of Scotch
00:08:59 You know...
00:09:02 ...tonight at the Cheesecake Factory
00:09:07 - Well, then I feel very sorry for you.
00:09:10 Nancy, I don't know if I can ever
00:09:15 - Why are you giving up?
00:09:17 - You are. You're giving up on our boys.
00:09:22 I don't care how old they are.
00:09:25 Well, sometime it's got to matter
00:09:28 That's all we do, is...
00:09:31 Oh, it...
00:09:35 See? They're sleepwalking.
00:09:37 No. No.
00:09:39 See, back to bed.
00:09:42 They'll be fine.
00:09:43 Just nonsense.
00:09:46 - No. Why would you do such a thing?
00:09:50 - Never, ever wake up a sleepwalker.
00:09:52 - We can't ever do anything.
00:09:54 But they could do real harm
00:09:57 - Oh, the Christmas presents.
00:09:59 - No. But...
00:10:02 - It's always about them.
00:10:05 - Oh, Jesus.
00:10:08 They might do real harm
00:10:11 - Not everybody does know that.
00:10:14 Oh, not the... No, don't...
00:10:17 - I'm waking them up!
00:10:19 - Don't wake them up!
00:10:21 - Wake up, both of you.
00:10:24 I told you! I told you!
00:10:28 Stop it! Don't hurt him!
00:10:31 The pictures! Nancy!
00:10:38 Robert!
00:10:47 I mean, I was driving around
00:10:50 You guys remember Topher, right?
00:10:51 Driving around, he has this
00:10:54 We hit this four-point buck. Dead.
00:10:58 Long story short,
00:11:00 I end up getting 125 G's. Okay?
00:11:05 Sniper rifle to hunt deer.
00:11:10 Either way, the deers lose,
00:11:18 Good riddance.
00:11:20 If you'll excuse me...
00:11:22 ...I think I'm going to go into
00:11:26 - Excuse me.
00:11:28 If you'll excuse
00:11:30 Let's just say the meds
00:11:33 I'm kidding. Kidding. But not at all.
00:11:37 I have to get some more gravy.
00:11:39 - Oh, Dale, it's right there.
00:11:41 Shush up, Nancy.
00:11:45 What did I do to deserve that?
00:11:51 What do any of us do
00:11:53 I pay enough taxes to support
00:11:59 Get off me! Off!
00:12:12 - What do you want?
00:12:14 - Merry Christmas.
00:12:19 I couldn't eat another bite of turkey
00:12:22 Come on, let's try something illegal.
00:12:24 So, Tommy, what did you
00:12:27 Well, Santa brought me the Bowflex
00:12:32 Wanna know what I got
00:12:40 - Alice, please.
00:12:43 You know this song.
00:12:44 What is that noise?
00:12:47 It's... This is the ghost.
00:12:49 - Just try to be quiet. Okay.
00:12:52 - We've got to be discreet.
00:12:54 No, no! Oh, hey.
00:12:58 Are you all still talking in here?
00:13:01 What are you doing?
00:13:04 Alice was moving a chair from the
00:13:07 ...for an extra chair
00:13:10 And I just did the best thing,
00:13:15 - Muscles.
00:13:17 Just add some heat to it.
00:13:22 Damn it, Dale, sit down.
00:13:24 It's just a real deep, tight muscle.
00:13:27 Hey, sweetie,
00:13:29 - I'll get you another Heineken.
00:13:31 Merry Christmas.
00:13:34 And how about you, Tiffany,
00:13:37 I got this Mikimoto pearl necklace.
00:13:39 But next year I'm gonna ask
00:13:43 ...because I'm impatient
00:13:45 Hey, Tiffany. Wanna know
00:13:49 You mentioned that earlier.
00:13:52 - So good.
00:13:53 It's gone into a real bad spasm,
00:13:59 - Grant me this one,
00:14:02 So I put my lips
00:14:04 ...and I saw those numerals pop up:
00:14:07 0.079.
00:14:12 So I started going to Chad
00:14:16 I think that was the year.
00:14:19 I have to interrupt you. Robert, while
00:14:22 ...I think this would be a good time
00:14:25 - What's going on?
00:14:29 I'm gonna be moving in
00:14:32 ...and Nancy found a townhouse
00:14:36 What is this? What's happening?
00:14:38 What Robert is trying to say
00:14:41 - Don't do this.
00:14:44 - I could've called this one.
00:14:46 - Yeah.
00:14:48 - Is it because we were bad?
00:14:50 The main thing that
00:14:53 ...is that we did not want you two
00:14:56 - What can we do to fix it?
00:15:00 - Why are you calling him "honey"?
00:15:03 - It is not your fault.
00:15:07 - Fuck it, I wanna fucking know!
00:15:09 - It is directly your fault.
00:15:13 You destroyed my boat.
00:15:15 You beat me up in your sleep...
00:15:16 ...and worst of all, you made
00:15:21 - It is absolutely 150 percent your fault!
00:15:25 They're the world's biggest dickheads,
00:15:29 - Shut up, Derek.
00:15:32 Please don't cry like that.
00:15:40 - Mommy!
00:15:44 I told you that they would feel
00:15:47 - Oh, let's grow up.
00:15:51 - I think I'm gonna throw up...
00:15:53 ...all the nice dinner that I had.
00:15:58 - You're not gonna throw up.
00:16:01 - Come on.
00:16:04 - Hey, guys. Guys.
00:16:06 - All right, dipshits. Right here.
00:16:09 - One, two, three...
00:16:21 Good luck, and remember, I need you
00:16:24 No exceptions.
00:16:35 If there's anything you need,
00:16:38 ...you just give me a call. Okay?
00:16:47 Hey. Are you awake?
00:16:51 Yeah.
00:16:55 I can't believe we actually
00:16:59 I know. I feel bad.
00:17:02 Hey, you know,
00:17:04 Mom and Dad aren't here.
00:17:06 Yeah, but can we keep
00:17:08 It helps me pretend that they are.
00:17:10 You must feel just terrible.
00:17:14 - I mean, I know I feel bad.
00:17:17 But I can't imagine how you feel...
00:17:20 ...after my dad looked
00:17:23 ...it's all your fault
00:17:26 That's funny, because my mom said:
00:17:30 "If that curly-headed fuck Dale
00:17:32 ...everything would be perfect. "
00:17:36 - You take that back.
00:17:39 You know what your problem is?
00:17:41 You live in a fantasy land.
00:17:44 ...and you don't know what it's like
00:17:47 You don't take responsibility for
00:17:51 Well, you're a mama's boy
00:17:56 Yeah, that's right.
00:17:57 Run away, little boy,
00:18:00 Just avoid everything.
00:18:03 What are you doing?
00:18:05 - Dale broke up Mom and Dad
00:18:08 Dale broke up Mom and Dad
00:18:12 - Dale broke up Mom and...
00:18:20 Get up, Brennan,
00:18:23 Get up!
00:18:31 Brennan?
00:18:32 It's just like Cold Case Files.
00:18:36 It's just like Cold Case Files.
00:18:38 People die every day.
00:18:41 Give him a proper burial
00:18:49 - Brennan! You're alive! Oh, my God.
00:18:52 I'm alive.
00:18:56 - You were dead. I saw you die!
00:19:00 I used ninja focus
00:19:03 - What are you doing?
00:19:05 - I'm alive. Brennan, I'm alive.
00:19:09 - Shut up!
00:19:13 - Now I'm gonna play your drum set.
00:19:16 Close your eyes.
00:19:20 This is your fault.
00:19:22 Oh, I'm exhausted.
00:19:30 - Don't you touch my drums!
00:19:33 Zombie! Zombie!
00:19:37 Get off me, zombie.
00:19:40 Get off.
00:19:54 I'm late for school.
00:19:55 I will kiss you right on the mouth,
00:20:00 - Just get off me.
00:20:06 So I guess it's really over.
00:20:08 I'd say you trying to bury me alive
00:20:11 You know what I just realized?
00:20:13 You've been the one
00:20:15 Now I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna
00:20:19 ...and then I'm gonna get Mom
00:20:22 I'm gonna be the hero,
00:20:28 My life was perfect
00:20:31 Me and my dad had a perfect setup,
00:20:38 Hey.
00:20:41 We're no longer brothers.
00:20:43 We never were.
00:21:00 - That was one of your best.
00:21:04 All right.
00:21:05 Well, well, well,
00:21:08 Can you give me a job, please?
00:21:12 TJ, get an office pool going.
00:21:15 Give Ken-Doll Crotch here
00:21:19 Dr. Angel Face,
00:21:21 ...for meeting me
00:21:25 - Don't call me Angel Face.
00:21:28 I'm very alone right now, and the thing
00:21:33 To show me how I can be
00:21:36 Do I carry my
00:21:38 What do you do with your hair?
00:21:39 What happens if there's
00:21:42 Where do you...?
00:21:44 Can you wash clothes
00:21:46 I notice that there's a long gap
00:21:49 ...and it said for 22 years...
00:21:53 ...you went Kerouac
00:21:56 I'm gonna be honest with you.
00:21:58 And I will take any position,
00:22:02 ...having sex with old ladies
00:22:06 - Those are my two bugaboos.
00:22:09 There's a catering business,
00:22:12 And you get to play with fire.
00:23:26 What do you want?
00:23:29 I'm ready to take on
00:23:31 Slow down there, Speed Racer.
00:23:33 I know what it entails,
00:23:36 I want it, okay?
00:23:39 - Yo, yo.
00:23:41 - You tell him what's up?
00:23:42 - Hey.
00:23:44 Your brother wants a shot
00:23:47 I'm ready, walking tall.
00:23:48 You're ready to run with the bulls?
00:23:50 I've been earning and burning,
00:23:54 Screw it, let's let him do it.
00:23:57 ...because if you fuck up, Brennan...
00:24:00 ...I get to fire your ass. But if you pull
00:24:05 - Okay?
00:24:06 Brennan, here's the thing.
00:24:08 It's the Catalina fucking
00:24:11 Are you saying "pow"?
00:24:13 It's the biggest helicopter-leasing
00:24:17 ...since 1997.
00:24:20 - Why does he keep doing that?
00:24:22 ...at least 80 choppers
00:24:25 And you mess with my nut, Brennan,
00:24:29 Like Kobayashi.
00:24:34 I've seen him do it.
00:24:35 You've seen him eat a penis?
00:24:37 It was in international waters,
00:24:40 I tell you now, I'll nail it.
00:24:42 Wait a second,
00:24:45 Trying to get Mom and Dad
00:24:47 - Why do I want this?
00:24:49 Because I wanna make bank, bro.
00:24:54 And I wanna drive a Range Rover.
00:24:56 Okay, well, you better, Brennan.
00:24:57 This is the fucking
00:25:18 Nancy. Hi.
00:25:20 Hi. What are you doing here?
00:25:24 Well, Dale's working the function.
00:25:26 Guys, this is supposed to be jicama,
00:25:29 Sorry, folks.
00:25:31 And I got an invitation from Brennan.
00:25:34 Can you believe
00:25:39 And now here we all are in Catalina.
00:25:42 - It's funny, huh?
00:25:46 - Hey, hey, hey.
00:25:50 Not bad. You're nailing it.
00:25:52 - Thanks, Randy. That means a lot.
00:25:54 I don't know what it is...
00:25:56 ...but I wanna deliver one of these
00:25:59 - Is there anything I can do?
00:26:02 Again, you're doing great, man.
00:26:05 We're all having a great time,
00:26:07 You pulled it off.
00:26:09 ...I'm gonna change it for you.
00:26:12 All I can do is take that in,
00:26:14 ...and I'll just do my best version
00:26:17 I don't even hear you,
00:26:20 - Thanks again, though.
00:26:23 - Hey. Hello, Catalina Wine Mixer.
00:26:27 How are you? We are Uptown Girl.
00:26:29 We are California's preeminent
00:26:33 "Piano Man"!
00:26:35 What did I just say, man?
00:26:37 All right, we don't play that...
00:26:39 ...so let's keep it in the '80s
00:26:42 You having a good time?
00:26:43 I hope you are,
00:26:47 And I know that sometimes
00:27:01 You guys seem to be hitting it off.
00:27:03 Oh, honey.
00:27:05 Oh, my God,
00:27:07 - Hello, Robert.
00:27:08 - Brennan, this is fantastic.
00:27:11 So impressed.
00:27:13 - Hi, Dad. Hi, Nancy.
00:27:15 - Hey, Brennan.
00:27:17 Thanks for hiring
00:27:19 Easy decision. You guys have
00:27:23 - Just like old times, huh?
00:27:26 You still have your
00:27:28 No, no. No, I had to sell those
00:27:32 How about you?
00:27:34 ...or kicking holes in pumpkins
00:27:36 No.
00:27:39 But I did start taking baby aspirin
00:27:42 That makes sense.
00:27:45 - Knock off the sweets.
00:27:52 It's a truly funny observation.
00:27:56 Yeah.
00:27:57 Dale, the empanadas
00:28:00 Okay. I better run.
00:28:02 - It's good to see you, Brennan.
00:28:04 - Take care, be well. Take care, Dad.
00:28:07 - It's great to talk to him.
00:28:10 I gotta go too.
00:28:12 We should do this again.
00:28:19 - Maybe grab a bite to eat?
00:28:22 - Go to Outback Steakhouse.
00:28:24 I've grown very fond of that place.
00:28:27 Thank you for coming.
00:28:29 Great to see you.
00:28:32 It was very nice to see you, Robert.
00:28:35 I think Brennan organized this
00:28:42 You have to excuse me.
00:28:47 It's the funniest thing. Bye-bye.
00:28:55 "Start the Fire," buddy!
00:28:58 Come on, man. Play something
00:29:01 We strictly do '80s Joel music, sir.
00:29:07 '80s Billy Joel doo-wop sucks!
00:29:09 Hey, listen, motherfucker,
00:29:12 So take your skank hooker wife
00:29:17 Shit.
00:29:18 - What's wrong?
00:29:20 Get him out of here.
00:29:23 Hey.
00:29:24 Hey, great job, fuck face. You just
00:29:28 Just relax. I didn't realize
00:29:31 You know what?
00:29:32 So this isn't even
00:29:35 - You're Audi 5000, my friend.
00:29:38 No.
00:29:40 - Hey.
00:29:41 - Is everything okay?
00:29:44 What happened to the music?
00:29:46 The band left. The guy freaked out.
00:29:49 Derek fired me.
00:29:50 - It's no big deal.
00:29:53 It's the Catalina Wine Mixer!
00:29:54 People have killed
00:29:57 - He's right. It's a big deal.
00:30:00 I see an empty stage.
00:30:02 I see drums, I see a drummer.
00:30:05 I see a microphone,
00:30:07 - Dad, come on.
00:30:09 - We gave that stuff up.
00:30:11 Listen to me.
00:30:14 ...when I was a little boy,
00:30:17 I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex
00:30:20 I made my arms short
00:30:23 ...and I chased the neighborhood cats,
00:30:27 Everybody knew me
00:30:29 And then one day, my dad said:
00:30:31 "Bobby, you're 17. It's time
00:30:35 And I said, "Okay, Pop. "
00:30:36 But he didn't really say that, he said,
00:30:40 But, you know, I thought to myself,
00:30:44 ...I'll practice for a little while,
00:30:47 - Dad...
00:30:49 But I forgot how to do it.
00:30:51 You're human.
00:30:52 - You could never be a dinosaur.
00:30:56 Hey, I lost it.
00:30:58 - Dad, what's the point?
00:31:00 The point is
00:31:04 Yeah. You know, I hated
00:31:07 I mean, I hated you.
00:31:08 But it just kills me to see you
00:31:13 Listen to me, don't listen to me...
00:31:15 ...Prestige Worldwide,
00:31:18 - You're saying we should go for it.
00:31:22 What do you think, Brennan?
00:31:24 I'm so scared right now.
00:31:27 I'm gonna file for unemployment...
00:31:29 ...and I'm gonna try to get a job
00:31:32 Because they got
00:31:35 ...and they give you the tools
00:31:38 My dad's right.
00:31:40 This isn't me.
00:31:42 I'm fucking miserable.
00:31:45 And even though
00:31:49 ...I'm going up on that stage...
00:31:51 ...and I'm gonna make beautiful music
00:31:53 - Dale...
00:31:56 This crowd's gonna eat him alive.
00:32:00 Wait, what's he doing up there?
00:32:02 Somebody get him
00:32:05 Hi. How you doing?
00:32:07 My name's Dale Doback,
00:32:10 Oh, go get them, Dale!
00:32:14 Boats and ho's
00:32:15 Get off the stage, you dick!
00:32:17 Stop yelling at him.
00:32:21 - Terrible!
00:32:22 He's a human being.
00:32:24 Dale has a mangina
00:32:29 No.
00:32:30 Gotta have me my boats and ho's
00:32:32 He's up there alone, Brennan.
00:32:36 Gotta have me my boats and ho's
00:32:39 - You suck!
00:32:41 Gotta have me my...
00:32:42 Brennan, no!
00:32:46 - What did you do?
00:32:47 I couldn't stand to see him like that.
00:32:50 All right. Let me go for a few bars.
00:32:55 - Okay. Hey, Brennan?
00:32:57 - Thanks for coming up.
00:33:00 We got a little change coming up.
00:33:02 It's my main man Brennan.
00:34:01 Boats and ho's
00:34:21 Boats and ho's
00:35:10 - You did it, Derek.
00:35:13 Brennan, you're the best
00:35:25 - Floor mats. The ones that match
00:35:29 I traveled 500 miles
00:35:32 Lumberjack!
00:36:14 Rock the fuck
00:36:17 I'm sorry.
00:36:59 - We're Prestige Worldwide!
00:37:02 - Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
00:37:06 It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
00:37:10 Brennan, that was sublime.
00:37:11 Amazing.
00:37:14 - Thank you.
00:37:15 - Thank you so much.
00:37:17 So I made my quota.
00:37:21 - That's so good.
00:37:23 Look, I'm not great at
00:37:27 ...but, Brennan,
00:37:29 ...I don't wanna kick you
00:37:33 Thanks, man.
00:37:35 - That was beautiful.
00:37:36 Yeah.
00:37:38 - What do we do now?
00:37:41 Yeah, you'd like that, faggot.
00:37:46 Okay.
00:38:00 - It's okay.
00:38:16 - That's what we've been looking for.
00:38:19 It's fantastic.
00:38:21 We've never done anything like that,
00:38:24 It was good.
00:38:26 - Felt good.
00:38:27 - Hello, Brennan. Hi.
00:38:32 Robert, Mom, Derek,
00:38:35 - Hi. How are you?
00:38:38 - We are in absolutely no way dating.
00:38:41 Brennan told me he was going to
00:38:45 ...into shark-infested waters...
00:38:48 ...so I had a legal obligation
00:38:50 I get it.
00:38:51 Don't wanna appear too eager,
00:38:56 You are an enabler.
00:38:58 ...but you're not.
00:39:00 What'd you think?
00:39:03 Brennan, I thought
00:39:07 And I mean that...
00:39:08 ...in strictly the most clinical
00:39:12 ...with no emotional,
00:39:15 ...or any other undertones
00:39:18 God, you're gonna make me cry.
00:39:21 What poem is that from?
00:39:25 Alice...
00:39:28 ...I like making sex with you.
00:39:30 I do. But you're also married.
00:39:34 It's over.
00:39:37 This is crazy. I'm a mother.
00:39:38 I have two children,
00:39:41 - I can't be fucking around with you.
00:39:45 - It was fun while it lasted.
00:39:50 - No.
00:39:54 - Please don't leave me.
00:39:57 Where?
00:40:02 Dale!
00:40:09 So I was with Seal...
00:40:11 ...and we were just taking a chopper
00:40:14 ...and the plot to my Sherpa...
00:40:17 - Sorry. Okay.
00:40:20 Dale, Brennan.
00:40:23 Really great, Dad.
00:40:27 We got six bars, three restaurants,
00:40:30 - So it's booming.
00:40:32 Most karaoke it's,
00:40:34 - Hey, just get up and have fun. "
00:40:36 If you can't sing, just sit down.
00:40:39 - It's the big leagues.
00:40:42 Guys, I have a little Christmas
00:40:47 - You wanna see it?
00:40:48 - You bet!
00:40:51 - Don't peek.
00:40:53 Be patient. No, no. No, no.
00:40:56 - Just a pinata, isn't it?
00:40:59 - Be patient.
00:41:01 Okay, open your eyes.
00:41:02 Merry Christmas.
00:41:04 Holy shit!
00:41:06 Dad, I can't believe
00:41:09 This is amazing!
00:41:11 - It's The Gilded Lady. She lives!
00:41:15 - How'd you get it up here?
00:41:19 - Pirate hats!
00:41:25 - Hustlers!
00:41:27 Dad, that was so thoughtful!
00:41:31 - Crossbows!
00:41:34 You guys finally came to your senses
00:41:37 You both know this is
00:41:40 - Yeah.
00:41:41 But Brennan sure can wear the shit
00:41:45 - Chewbacca masks!
00:41:52 It's okay that mine's
00:42:21 But he's like, "No, because you drove
00:42:25 So I'm like "You're gonna buy it for me
00:42:37 Oh, shit.
00:42:45 Well, if it isn't Dale Doback
00:42:49 Sticks and stones
00:42:51 ...but I'm gonna kick you repeatedly
00:42:55 Let's get them!
00:43:43 - Where do you think you're going?
00:43:46 - We got something to show you.
00:43:50 - You see that white dog crap?
00:43:53 - Yeah.
00:43:56 - No.
00:43:57 Your actions have consequences!
00:43:59 When you oppress people,
00:44:05 Go home.
00:44:08 We're not like you.
00:44:11 Say hi to your dad.
00:44:21 The cops'll be here soon.
00:44:24 I guess this is what it feels like
00:44:27 Hey.
00:44:29 Can I ask you something?
00:44:31 Yeah, of course.
00:44:33 You know back when
00:44:34 Yeah.
00:44:36 - Did you touch my drum set?
00:44:38 No, really, I won't get mad.
00:44:41 No, I know.
00:44:43 I'm saying I didn't do it.
00:44:46 - Then I owe you an apology.
00:44:48 No, you don't, at all. No.
00:44:49 Why wouldn't you take an apology
00:44:52 Just because I'm cool.
00:48:36 You got my passport.
00:48:38 I'm good.
00:48:43 Don't worry, not gonna be late.