Stranger Than Fiction

en
00:00:54 This is a story about a man
00:00:58 And his wristwatch.
00:01:01 Harold Crick was a man of infinite
00:01:03 ...endless calculations
00:01:07 And his wristwatch said even less.
00:01:12 Every weekday, for 12 years...
00:01:15 ...Harold would brush
00:01:22 Thirty-eight times back and forth.
00:01:25 Thirty-eight times up and down.
00:01:29 Every weekday, for 12 years...
00:01:32 ...Harold would tie his tie in a single
00:01:36 ...thereby saving up to 43 seconds.
00:01:39 His wristwatch thought the single
00:01:45 ...but said nothing.
00:01:50 Every weekday, for 12 years...
00:01:52 ...Harold would run at a rate of nearly
00:01:57 ...barely catching
00:02:01 His wristwatch would delight...
00:02:03 ...in the feeling of the crisp wind
00:02:15 And every weekday, for 12 years...
00:02:18 ...Harold would review 7. 134
00:02:21 ...as a senior agent
00:02:25 Regs section 1.469-2 (B) (i), Diane.
00:02:29 Good morning. IRS.
00:02:33 Harold, 89 times 1417?
00:02:36 126,113.
00:02:39 That adds up.
00:02:40 Only taking a 45. 7-minute
00:02:45 ...and a 4.3- Minute coffee break...
00:02:49 ...timed precisely by his wristwatch.
00:02:52 Oh, great.
00:02:54 Yeah, we'll go to Mullen's or we'll...
00:02:57 Beyond that,
00:03:02 He would walk home alone.
00:03:06 He would eat alone.
00:03:16 And at precisely 11: 13 every night...
00:03:20 ...Harold would go to bed alone...
00:03:23 ...placing his wristwatch to rest
00:03:29 That was, of course,
00:03:35 On Wednesday, Harold's wristwatch
00:03:46 Oh, my God, you got it?
00:03:48 I got it.
00:03:50 I got it.
00:04:04 If one had asked Harold,
00:04:07 ...that this particular Wednesday was
00:04:12 And he began it the same way he...
00:04:24 And he began it the same way
00:04:31 Hello?
00:04:42 He began it the same way
00:04:45 When others' minds would...
00:04:47 Hello? Is someone there?
00:04:56 When others' minds would fantasize
00:04:59 ...or even try to grip onto
00:05:04 ...Harold just counted brushstrokes.
00:05:09 All right, who just said,
00:05:13 And how do you know I'm counting
00:05:16 Hello?
00:05:20 It was remarkable how the simple,
00:05:26 It was remarkable h...
00:05:32 It was remarkable how the simple,
00:05:37 ...so often taken for granted...
00:05:39 ...would become the catalyst
00:05:46 Harold ran for the bus...
00:05:48 ...his stiff leather shoes
00:05:51 ...as they flexed against the asphalt.
00:05:59 And though this was
00:06:03 ...a day to be remembered
00:06:07 ...Harold just thought
00:06:11 I'm sorry, did you hear that?
00:06:14 The voice. Did you hear it?
00:06:17 Don't worry, it is Wednesday.
00:06:19 No, no, did you hear it? "Harold
00:06:24 - Who's Harold?
00:06:27 Harold, it's okay, it's Wednesday.
00:06:30 No, no, I...
00:06:32 Never mind.
00:06:35 Harold couldn't concentrate
00:06:38 Excuse me, Harold?
00:06:39 His thoughts were scattered.
00:06:42 Sorry.
00:06:44 Someone here should be able to fix...
00:06:46 Hey, Harold. What's 67 times 453?
00:06:50 When a coworker asked
00:06:54 You know what?
00:06:56 ...he drew a blank.
00:06:58 - What?
00:06:59 - Harold quickly answered, "30,351."
00:07:04 Despite the answer
00:07:07 Wait, wait, wait, 31,305. Sorry.
00:07:14 Dude, I just totally caught
00:07:18 ...claiming his jet ski
00:07:22 I'll tell you, it is a shame...
00:07:24 ...that they don't give out
00:07:29 Dude?
00:07:31 You okay?
00:07:34 Dave, I'm being followed.
00:07:41 How are you being followed?
00:07:44 - It's by a voice.
00:07:47 I'm being followed
00:07:52 Okay.
00:07:56 What is she saying?
00:07:58 She's narrating.
00:08:05 Harold, you're staring at boxes,
00:08:08 No, no, no. I had to stop filing.
00:08:11 Watch. Watch. Listen. Listen.
00:08:15 The sound the paper made
00:08:17 ...had the same tone
00:08:23 And when Harold thought about it...
00:08:24 ...he listened to enough waves
00:08:27 ...to constitute what he imagined
00:08:33 Did you hear that?
00:08:35 You mean you filing?
00:08:36 No, no, no, the voice.
00:08:39 No.
00:08:42 Frightening part is sometimes I do
00:08:47 What ocean?
00:08:49 The one made by the sound...
00:08:52 New audits. Have a good day.
00:08:54 Thank you.
00:08:58 All right, we got a baker
00:09:07 Maybe you should take the baker.
00:09:10 - Okay?
00:09:19 Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
00:09:22 - You miscreant.
00:09:26 Oh, get bent, taxman!
00:09:30 - Taxman!
00:09:33 Taxman!
00:09:37 Go home!
00:09:39 Listen, is there somewhere else
00:09:43 No. We're gonna talk about this
00:09:48 Okay. It says, the file, that you only
00:09:54 - That's right.
00:09:57 Yep.
00:10:00 So you did it on purpose?
00:10:01 Yep.
00:10:03 So you must have been
00:10:07 I was expecting a fine...
00:10:11 ...or a sharp reprimand.
00:10:15 A reprimand? This isn't
00:10:18 You stole from the government.
00:10:20 No, I didn't steal from the government.
00:10:26 Ms. Pascal, you can't just
00:10:29 Yes, I can.
00:10:31 You can if you wanna get audited.
00:10:33 Only if I recognize your right
00:10:38 Ms. Pascal, I'm right here
00:10:40 Now I have to go over
00:10:43 ...to make sure
00:10:45 Fine.
00:10:47 Actually, you know, it's not fine.
00:10:51 Listen, I'm a big supporter
00:10:55 ...and erecting swing sets
00:10:58 I am more than happy
00:11:02 I'm just not such a big fan
00:11:06 ...that the government uses
00:11:10 ...corporate bailouts
00:11:14 So I didn't pay those taxes.
00:11:18 I think, actually...
00:11:20 ...I sent a letter to that effect
00:11:24 Would it be the letter that begins,
00:11:28 Yes.
00:11:30 Ms. Pascal, what you're describing
00:11:36 - You mean am I a member of...?
00:11:41 Anarchists have a group?
00:11:44 I believe so. Sure.
00:11:46 They assemble?
00:11:49 I don't know.
00:11:51 Wouldn't that completely
00:11:56 It was difficult for Harold to imagine
00:12:00 - Not now.
00:12:01 - What?
00:12:04 - Her long shapely legs...
00:12:05 ...dashing from tear gas.
00:12:08 Harold wasn't prone to fantasies...
00:12:11 ...and so he tried his best
00:12:15 But, of course, failed.
00:12:17 He couldn't help but imagine
00:12:21 ...stroking the side of his face
00:12:26 He couldn't help but imagine her
00:12:30 ...shaving her legs.
00:12:32 And he couldn't help
00:12:36 ...stretched across his bed.
00:12:41 - Mr. Crick.
00:12:45 You're staring at my tits.
00:12:49 I wa...? I don't think I was.
00:12:53 If I was, I can assure you...
00:12:55 ...it was only as a representative
00:12:58 Sorry, I'm just having issues today.
00:13:07 Harold suddenly found himself
00:13:11 ...outside the bakery...
00:13:14 ...cursing the heavens in futility.
00:13:16 No, I'm not, I'm cursing you,
00:13:19 So shut up and leave me alone!
00:13:48 Hey, watch it!
00:14:19 Excuse me.
00:14:23 Excuse me.
00:14:29 Are you Miss Eiffel?
00:14:33 - Yes.
00:14:34 May I ask what you're doing?
00:14:37 Research.
00:14:39 - Oh, am I interrupting?
00:14:41 I'm sorry. I'm Penny Escher.
00:14:44 I'm the assistant
00:14:47 - The spy.
00:14:51 I provide the same services
00:14:54 I don't need a secretary.
00:14:56 Then I will have to find some
00:14:59 Like watching me like a vulture...
00:15:01 ...because the publishers
00:15:05 Do you have writer's block?
00:15:10 Are these pages?
00:15:12 They're letters. To me.
00:15:15 - Are you writing back?
00:15:19 And I suppose you smoked
00:15:22 No, they came pre-smoked.
00:15:25 Yeah, they said you were funny.
00:15:31 What do you think about
00:15:35 I don't think about
00:15:37 - Yes, you do.
00:15:40 Everyone thinks about
00:15:42 Well, I certainly don't think about
00:15:53 They say...
00:16:00 I read this in this
00:16:04 - That when you jump
00:16:07 ...it's rarely the impact
00:16:10 Well, I'm sure it doesn't help.
00:16:13 There's a photograph
00:16:17 It's old, but it's beautiful.
00:16:20 From above the corpse of a woman
00:16:24 There's blood around her head,
00:16:28 ...and her leg's buckled underneath,
00:16:32 ...but her face is so serene...
00:16:35 ...so at peace.
00:16:38 And I think it's because
00:16:40 ...she could feel the wind
00:16:49 I don't know how to kill Harold Crick.
00:16:54 Yes, to help you.
00:16:57 How are you gonna help me?
00:16:58 You, who never thinks
00:17:01 What great inspiration
00:17:04 I'll tell you, the quaint ideas
00:17:06 ...in your adorable career
00:17:08 ...are to no avail
00:17:12 I understand.
00:17:14 Do you? I can't just...
00:17:24 As much as I would like to...
00:17:25 ...I cannot simply throw
00:17:35 Miss Eiffel. Kay. I've been
00:17:41 I've helped more than 20 authors
00:17:44 ...and I've never missed the deadline.
00:17:46 And I have never gone back to the
00:17:49 Now, I will be available to you
00:17:53 ...until the final punctuation
00:17:57 I do not like loud music.
00:18:02 And I will gladly and quietly
00:18:16 I had a very interesting little convo
00:18:20 Yeah?
00:18:23 They said you were feeling
00:18:29 Catch a little cubicle fever?
00:18:31 Oh, I don't know. I think I'm okay.
00:18:34 Harold, a tree doesn't think
00:18:40 ...it is a tree.
00:18:42 Why was Harold talking to this man?
00:18:45 This man was an idiot.
00:18:48 This man used words like
00:18:54 And explained that trees were trees.
00:18:58 Of course trees were trees.
00:19:00 Harold knew trees were trees.
00:19:02 I am going to believe you, Harold.
00:19:03 What Harold didn't know
00:19:06 ...the smell of brownies
00:19:09 Why Ms. Pascal had made
00:19:15 Harold?
00:19:19 Yes? Sorry.
00:19:21 What's going on, Harold?
00:19:25 Well...
00:19:29 Nothing. Everything's fine.
00:19:34 Listen, according to your records...
00:19:37 ...you haven't taken vacation
00:19:42 Let's say you take a little break.
00:19:46 Use some of that vaca time.
00:19:50 Yeah. I'll think about it.
00:19:58 Harold.
00:20:01 I'm not really supposed to do this,
00:20:25 Harold assumed his watch
00:20:28 ...and never even considered that it
00:20:34 In fact, Harold had never once
00:20:38 ...other than to find out the time.
00:20:40 And, honestly,
00:20:44 And so, on this particular
00:20:47 ...as Harold waited for the bus,
00:20:51 ...stopped.
00:20:55 Sorry, does anyone have the time?
00:20:58 - Yeah, I got 6:18.
00:21:01 Thus Harold's watch thrust him
00:21:07 Little did he know that this simple,
00:21:12 ...would result in his imminent death.
00:21:15 What? What?
00:21:17 Hey! Hello?
00:21:20 What?
00:21:22 Why?
00:21:24 Why my death?
00:21:26 Hello!
00:21:28 Excuse me!
00:21:30 When?
00:21:33 How imminent?
00:21:36 Okay, where are you?
00:21:45 "Harold would brush his 32 teeth
00:21:49 Why won't you say anything?
00:21:53 "That would result
00:21:56 I heard you!
00:21:59 Come on, you stupid voice.
00:22:01 "Harold frantically grabbed his lamp.
00:22:04 Harold, incensed, shook the hell
00:22:09 And smashed it on the ground,
00:22:14 Harold took his Kleenex box,
00:22:17 ...then stormed the closet!"
00:22:22 Come on. Say something.
00:22:26 Something. Say something!
00:22:30 Say something!
00:22:39 "Harold, distraught..."
00:22:43 God.
00:22:45 "Harold, distraught..."
00:22:51 "Harold..."
00:22:56 I'm afraid what you're describing
00:23:03 No. No. It's not schizophrenia.
00:23:08 I mean, the voice isn't telling me
00:23:12 It's telling me what I've already done.
00:23:15 Accurately
00:23:19 Mr. Crick, you have a voice
00:23:22 No, not to me, about me.
00:23:26 I'm somehow involved
00:23:31 Like I'm a character in my own life.
00:23:34 But the problem is
00:23:38 Like there are other parts of the story
00:23:42 ...and I need to find out what those
00:23:46 Before the story concludes
00:23:49 Yes.
00:23:51 Mr. Crick, I hate to sound
00:23:53 ...but that's schizophrenia.
00:23:57 You don't sound like a broken record,
00:24:03 What if what I said was true?
00:24:06 Hypothetically speaking,
00:24:11 ...even if it was only in my mind...
00:24:16 ...what would you suggest that I do?
00:24:18 I would suggest
00:24:23 Other than that.
00:24:24 I don't know.
00:24:27 I suppose I would send you to see
00:24:33 Okay.
00:24:35 Yeah. That's a good idea.
00:24:39 Thank you.
00:24:42 So you're the gentleman
00:24:44 - Yes.
00:24:47 Yes.
00:24:49 - How long has it given you to live?
00:24:52 Dramatic irony.
00:24:57 - So you crazy or what?
00:24:59 Are you allowed to say that
00:25:01 - I don't know.
00:25:03 ...in the hallway out there?
00:25:06 You were counting them
00:25:08 No.
00:25:10 Of course.
00:25:12 No bank. IRS agent.
00:25:14 - Married?
00:25:16 Ever?
00:25:17 Engaged to an auditor.
00:25:20 - How heartbreaking. Live alone?
00:25:25 - Any pets?
00:25:29 - Friends?
00:25:34 I see. The narrator,
00:25:37 It's a woman.
00:25:40 A woman.
00:25:41 - Is it a familiar woman?
00:25:44 Someone you know?
00:25:46 No.
00:25:48 Did you have enough time
00:25:51 I wasn't counting the tiles.
00:25:54 - Coffee?
00:25:56 - Sure?
00:25:59 So this woman, the voice,
00:26:02 She didn't tell me.
00:26:04 - But she said it.
00:26:06 And you believed her.
00:26:08 She's been right
00:26:10 - Such as?
00:26:14 - You dislike your work?
00:26:18 Well, not the most insightful voice
00:26:21 First thing on a list
00:26:23 Second, traffic. Third, missing socks.
00:26:26 Sort of.
00:26:27 I told you you were gonna die,
00:26:29 - No.
00:26:31 I don't know you.
00:26:33 - But you don't know this narrator.
00:26:36 - Okay, Mr. Crick, I can't help you.
00:26:41 Well, I'm not an expert in crazy,
00:26:44 And I gotta tell you, thus far...
00:26:47 ...there doesn't seem to be a single
00:26:50 I don't doubt you hear a voice,
00:26:53 ...because, frankly, there doesn't seem
00:26:56 Beside that, this semester
00:26:59 I'm mentoring
00:27:01 ...and I'm the faculty lifeguard
00:27:05 - I just thought you could possibly...
00:27:09 Write down what she said
00:27:11 That's all I can suggest.
00:27:16 I can barely remember it all.
00:27:19 "Little did he know that this simple,
00:27:23 ...would lead to his imminent death."
00:27:26 - What?
00:27:29 - Did you say, "little did he know"?
00:27:33 I've written papers
00:27:37 I used to teach a class
00:27:41 I mean, I once gave an entire seminar
00:27:45 Son of a bitch, Harold.
00:27:48 "Little did he know" means there's
00:27:51 ...that means there's something
00:27:56 - I want you to come back Friday.
00:27:59 No, "imminent,"
00:28:01 Come back tomorrow at 9:45.
00:28:05 Ten seconds ago
00:28:09 It's been a very revealing 10 seconds,
00:28:16 Harold was deep in thought.
00:28:19 For a few, brief moments, from
00:28:23 ...all the calculations
00:28:26 ...and all the precision of Harold's life
00:28:31 How perfect then
00:28:35 ...Ana Pascal would appear.
00:28:40 Ms. Pascal.
00:28:43 Ms. Pascal, it's Harold Crick
00:28:45 Excuse me.
00:28:50 - Hi.
00:28:53 - Would you like a seat?
00:28:56 There's 11 open ones.
00:28:58 I don't care.
00:29:04 Sorry about that.
00:29:17 How are you?
00:29:19 I'm lousy. I'm being audited.
00:29:23 Of course.
00:29:24 By a real creep too.
00:29:32 I think I owe you an apology.
00:29:36 - Really?
00:29:38 ...we're given rigorous aptitude tests
00:29:43 Unfortunately for you, we aren't tested
00:29:47 ...so I apologize.
00:29:50 I ogled you.
00:29:55 Sorry.
00:30:01 Okay, apology accepted.
00:30:04 But only because you stammered.
00:30:14 So you're a frequenter of the
00:30:18 No. I'm just late.
00:30:22 Big flag-burning to get to?
00:30:25 Actually...
00:30:28 ...it's my weekly evil-conspiracy
00:30:33 You wanna come?
00:30:36 I left my thimbles and socialist
00:30:42 So...
00:30:46 Harold nervously made small talk.
00:30:51 You have very straight teeth.
00:30:53 Very small talk.
00:30:56 Thanks. They're real.
00:30:59 Harold quickly calculated the odds
00:31:03 ...in ratio to the amount of time
00:31:08 This is my stop. I should go.
00:31:12 - He was elated and surprised...
00:31:15 ...by his somewhat flirtatious
00:31:20 So elated that he exited
00:31:23 ...a good 27 blocks too early
00:31:46 - "You ain't down yet."
00:31:49 Tell us, what is You Ain't Got
00:31:53 What does this mean?
00:31:55 Well, it's about being around
00:32:00 ...doing what you wanna do...
00:32:06 Mr. Crick. Come in, come in. Please.
00:32:12 How are you?
00:32:14 I'm fine, actually.
00:32:15 You can turn that off.
00:32:17 Looks like our narrator
00:32:20 - No, not yet.
00:32:24 - Count the stairs outside?
00:32:26 Course not. I've devised a test...
00:32:29 How exciting is that?
00:32:32 ...which I think might help uncover
00:32:36 - Now, Howard...
00:32:38 Harold. These may seem silly,
00:32:42 Okay.
00:32:44 So.
00:32:48 We know it's a woman's voice,
00:32:53 ...it's modern, it's in English.
00:32:55 I'm assuming the author
00:32:58 - Sure.
00:33:04 Question one:
00:33:05 "Has anyone recently left
00:33:08 Anything? Gum? Money?
00:33:10 - A large wooden horse?
00:33:12 - Just answer the question.
00:33:15 "Do you find yourself inclined
00:33:17 ...in large, luxurious homes
00:33:21 "To which you may or may not
00:33:24 No. No, no, no.
00:33:25 All right. On a scale of one to 10...
00:33:28 ...what would you consider the
00:33:32 Assassinated?
00:33:34 One being very unlikely, 10 being
00:33:38 - I have no idea...
00:33:41 Are you the king of anything?
00:33:44 - Like what?
00:33:46 King of the lanes
00:33:48 "King of the lanes"?
00:33:50 - King of the lanes. King of the trolls.
00:33:54 Yes. A clandestine land
00:33:58 - Anything.
00:34:00 No. That's ridiculous.
00:34:02 Agreed. But let's start with ridiculous
00:34:06 Now, was any part of you at one time
00:34:09 Like do I have someone else's arms?
00:34:11 Well, is it possible at one time
00:34:14 ...wood, lye, varied corpse parts...
00:34:17 ...or earth made holy
00:34:19 No. Look... I'm sorry. What do these
00:34:23 The only way to find out
00:34:25 ...is to determine what stories
00:34:28 Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out
00:34:31 ...seven fairy tales,
00:34:33 ...and determined conclusively
00:34:37 ...Scout Finch, Miss Marple...
00:34:39 ...Frankenstein's monster,
00:34:48 Aren't you relieved to know
00:34:51 Yes, I am relieved to know
00:34:54 Good.
00:35:00 Do you have magical powers?
00:35:37 May I ask what we're doing out here?
00:35:40 - We're imagining car wrecks.
00:35:45 And we can't imagine
00:35:47 No.
00:35:49 Did you know
00:35:52 ...occur in times
00:35:55 So do 90 percent
00:35:57 Really? Pneumonia.
00:36:03 But how would Harold
00:36:06 Have you written
00:36:08 No.
00:36:09 Did you read the poems I suggested,
00:36:12 ...buy new typing paper, anything?
00:36:15 No, none of it.
00:36:18 Sitting in the rain won't write books.
00:36:20 Well, that illustrates exactly how much
00:36:31 What's this?
00:36:33 It's literature on the nicotine patch.
00:36:36 I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny.
00:36:41 Well, it may help.
00:36:42 May help? Help what?
00:36:46 Help what, Penny?
00:36:49 May help save your life.
00:36:51 I'm not in the business of saving lives.
00:36:57 In fact, just the opposite.
00:37:02 - "What's your favorite word?"
00:37:04 Good, good, good.
00:37:06 "Do you aspire to anything?"
00:37:09 - No.
00:37:12 - Win a whistling contest?
00:37:15 Harold, you must
00:37:19 - I don't think so.
00:37:25 Well...
00:37:28 ...I've always wanted my life
00:37:31 - Like West Side Story?
00:37:35 - Like...
00:37:37 Well, I've always wanted to learn
00:37:43 Okay.
00:37:47 The last thing
00:37:49 ...is whether you're in a comedy
00:37:51 To quote Italo Calvino:
00:37:53 "The ultimate meaning
00:37:56 The continuity of life,
00:38:00 Tragedy, you die.
00:38:07 Most comic heroes
00:38:10 ...introduced after the story
00:38:12 Usually people
00:38:15 Although I can't imagine anyone
00:38:19 Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent.
00:38:23 Everyone hates me.
00:38:25 Right, right. Good.
00:38:27 Have you met anyone recently
00:38:31 I just started auditing a woman
00:38:35 Well, that sounds like a comedy.
00:38:39 Try to develop that.
00:38:42 Four of these?
00:38:44 You know, I didn't get my honey,
00:38:46 Lulu, can you refill the honey
00:38:50 That's my good boy.
00:38:51 I'm adding some acorns.
00:38:54 Mr. Crick.
00:38:56 You're here early.
00:39:00 No. No, just you.
00:39:03 - Twig tea and banana bread.
00:39:06 Actually, it should only take the day to
00:39:10 Well, I won't be paying no matter
00:39:14 No, I know. But the percent
00:39:24 You know, you can call me Harold.
00:39:26 Yeah, I know. But I don't want to.
00:39:32 This is for Ramona, honey.
00:39:33 - Oh, thank you.
00:39:36 What is that?
00:39:40 Oh, this is nothing.
00:39:42 Why don't we start
00:39:45 ...and the receipts
00:39:48 Sure.
00:39:58 What's this?
00:40:01 - My files.
00:40:03 My tax files.
00:40:05 You keep your files like this?
00:40:07 No, actually I'm quite fastidious.
00:40:10 I put them in this box
00:40:27 - Hi.
00:40:32 So how was it? Aruba.
00:40:34 Ms. Pascal? Can I just ask you
00:40:38 - It was fantastic.
00:40:41 - And what did you do?
00:40:45 - I'm just gonna guess it's a seven.
00:40:54 Do you need help with that?
00:40:57 Walk to heaven. I see the president.
00:40:59 - It's the taxman. Hello, Mr. Taxman.
00:41:01 - You can call me Harold.
00:41:03 - How the numbers going?
00:41:05 - Gonna find that 22 percent?
00:41:07 Twenty-two, 11 times 2.
00:41:09 - You gonna tax the bathroom?
00:41:13 - Could I use the bathroom, then?
00:41:15 Okay. I wanna use the bathroom.
00:41:17 Bye-bye.
00:42:00 Well, good night.
00:42:03 You want a cookie?
00:42:05 Oh, no.
00:42:06 Come on. They're warm and gooey.
00:42:11 No, I don't like cookies.
00:42:15 You don't like cookies?
00:42:20 - What's wrong with you?
00:42:23 - Everybody likes cookies.
00:42:26 I mean, after a really awful,
00:42:30 ...didn't your mama ever make you
00:42:34 No. My mother didn't bake.
00:42:38 The only cookies I ever had
00:42:44 Okay. Sit down.
00:42:47 - No, I'm...
00:42:50 Sit down.
00:42:55 Now...
00:42:58 ...eat a cookie.
00:43:00 I really can't.
00:43:01 Mr. Crick, it was a really awful day.
00:43:06 I know, I made sure of it.
00:43:09 So pick up the cookie...
00:43:11 ...dip it in the milk...
00:43:13 ...and eat it.
00:43:39 That's a really, really good cookie.
00:43:50 So when did you decide
00:43:53 - In college.
00:43:57 I went to Harvard Law actually.
00:44:01 - Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed it was...
00:44:07 - Did something happen?
00:44:10 I was barely accepted.
00:44:14 The only reason they let me come
00:44:18 How I was gonna make the world
00:44:23 Anyway, we would have to participate
00:44:27 ...my classmates and I,
00:44:31 And so I'd bake so no one
00:44:35 Sometimes I would bake all afternoon
00:44:38 ...and then I'd bring my little treats
00:44:42 ...and people loved them.
00:44:44 Eat.
00:44:45 I made oatmeal cookies,
00:44:50 ...dark-chocolate
00:44:54 And everyone would eat
00:44:56 ...and study harder
00:44:59 More and more people started
00:45:02 ...and I'd bring more snacks.
00:45:04 I was always looking
00:45:06 ...until soon it was ricotta cheese
00:45:13 ...and mocha bars
00:45:15 ...and lemon chiffon cake
00:45:21 And at the end of the semester
00:45:25 ...eight Mead journals
00:45:29 ...and a D average.
00:45:32 So I dropped out.
00:45:34 I figured if I was gonna
00:45:37 ...I would do it with cookies.
00:45:44 You like them?
00:45:47 I do.
00:45:49 I'm glad.
00:45:52 Thank you for forcing me
00:45:54 You're welcome.
00:46:01 I should go. Oh, thank you.
00:46:04 - Why don't you take them home?
00:46:06 - Oh, come on.
00:46:09 - No, really, please.
00:46:12 I would like to, but I can't.
00:46:15 - You can't?
00:46:16 Because, see, it constitutes a gift.
00:46:19 Actually I shouldn't have even had
00:46:22 Okay. Well, I'm not
00:46:25 - No. I know, but if you did...
00:46:27 I know, but if you did...
00:46:29 - What, you think I'm gonna call the...?
00:46:32 I'm happy to purchase them.
00:46:37 And then there are no issues.
00:46:42 - What?
00:46:44 - Please.
00:46:46 - Why don't I just...?
00:46:48 Really, it's not a big deal.
00:46:50 Go home.
00:46:54 Okay.
00:47:00 Did you?
00:47:03 You baked those cookies for me,
00:47:09 You were just trying to be nice
00:47:17 This may sound like gibberish
00:47:22 ...but I think I'm in a tragedy.
00:47:55 Professor Hilbert, I've totally failed
00:47:59 In fact, I think she likes me even less.
00:48:02 - I know, it's great.
00:48:05 You've proved something else
00:48:07 The voice seems to be dependent
00:48:12 You reset your watch,
00:48:15 You ride a bus,
00:48:17 You brush your teeth,
00:48:19 It may be that you yourself
00:48:24 - So I suggest we try something else.
00:48:27 - Try nothing. Nothing.
00:48:31 - Forget her.
00:48:32 Other than numbers,
00:48:34 Harold, if you wanna stay alive,
00:48:37 - That something being nothing?
00:48:41 - Nothing?
00:48:44 Some plots are moved forward
00:48:48 Others are moved forward
00:48:51 If I go through that door,
00:48:53 The story of me through the door.
00:48:55 ...the plot can't move forward,
00:48:58 Also if I stay here, I'm late.
00:49:03 - Don't do anything tomorrow.
00:49:06 Stay home. Don't answer the phone,
00:49:10 - What about work?
00:49:12 - Tell them you're not coming.
00:49:15 Don't do anything that may
00:49:17 Instead, let's see if the plot finds you.
00:49:20 Marshall, you're not kicking.
00:49:26 - Certain that these geese have never
00:49:29 A small lake in Eastern Poland.
00:49:32 Pollution from a nearby factory
00:49:35 ...the small fish and insects
00:49:39 All attempts to move the birds to
00:49:44 Perhaps it is the familiarity alone
00:49:48 Or perhaps it's an unwillingness
00:49:53 ...of the once-beautiful hills
00:49:56 And it takes only seconds
00:50:00 ...that the wader
00:50:02 ...has now become their prey.
00:50:06 The wounded bird knows its fate.
00:50:10 Its desperate attempts to escape...
00:50:12 ...only underscore the hopelessness
00:50:19 The primates' sad, soulful eyes
00:50:23 ...then sold to cosmetic companies
00:50:26 ...for use in the testing of mascara
00:50:31 Next, the monkeys' fur will be stripped
00:50:35 ...and sewn together
00:50:38 Mr. Zebra thought he was gonna
00:50:41 But you never know
00:50:43 ...when you're dining
00:50:45 That's gotta hurt. What does
00:50:48 ...with some kidney beans
00:50:50 It's an eel. And again:
00:50:55 Looks like old Mr. Crocodile
00:50:57 ...to clear that salty zebra
00:50:59 Here's a struggle betting gentlemen
00:51:03 When a mongoose encounters a cobra
00:51:07 But this time it looks like
00:51:09 ...who's putting the squeeze
00:51:11 But don't cash in your chips
00:51:14 ...because now it's the mongoose
00:51:44 Hey! Hey!
00:51:47 Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?!
00:51:49 - Holy crapping hell.
00:51:51 - Stop the crane. Stop it.
00:51:53 - Hey.
00:51:56 Us? What are you doing?
00:51:57 I was watching TV.
00:51:59 - Well, we're demolishing this place.
00:52:03 - Is that a TV?
00:52:06 - Well, what's your TV doing in there?
00:52:09 It's where I keep my stuff!
00:52:11 My name's on the goddamn buzzer!
00:52:15 Apartment 2-B, 1893 McCarthy!
00:52:18 - Did you say 1893?
00:52:28 I'm not exactly sure it was plot.
00:52:30 I was hoping you'd say it was
00:52:33 Meeting an insurance agent the day
00:52:37 Getting a letter from the emperor
00:52:40 Having your apartment eaten
00:52:44 ...is something else entirely.
00:52:47 Harold, you don't control your fate.
00:52:51 - I know.
00:52:55 Okay. Come with me.
00:52:57 Hey, Tom, can you leave that
00:53:01 You were right.
00:53:05 ...so I humbly suggest that you just
00:53:10 Go live my life? I am living my life.
00:53:15 I know. Of course. I mean all of it.
00:53:19 You know, I mean, Howard,
00:53:23 You know, invent something, or just
00:53:28 Hell, Harold, you could just eat
00:53:32 What's wrong with you?
00:53:34 Hey. I don't wanna eat
00:53:37 Who in their right mind in a
00:53:41 ...chooses pancakes?
00:53:42 Harold, if you'd pause to think
00:53:45 ...that that answer's
00:53:47 ...upon the type of life being led...
00:53:51 ...and, of course,
00:53:56 You don't understand
00:53:59 Yes, I do.
00:54:01 But you have to understand that this
00:54:05 ...or a story to me. It's my life.
00:54:07 Absolutely. So just go make it the one
00:54:20 I never expected
00:54:22 - Do you want one, two?
00:54:24 - One?
00:54:37 All right, so here's your room.
00:54:39 Or as I like to call it, Sleep Pod Two.
00:54:42 Thanks, Dave.
00:54:44 No problem, dude.
00:54:48 - How long you planning on staying?
00:54:57 Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract,
00:55:02 Sure.
00:55:04 If you knew you were gonna die...
00:55:08 ...possibly soon...
00:55:10 ...what would you do?
00:55:14 Wow, I don't know.
00:55:16 Am I the richest man in the world?
00:55:19 No, you're you.
00:55:22 Do I have a superpower?
00:55:25 No, you're you.
00:55:26 I know I'm me,
00:55:31 No, why would you
00:55:33 I don't know,
00:55:36 Fine. Yes. You're really good at math.
00:55:39 That's not a power, that's a skill.
00:55:42 Okay, you're good at math
00:55:44 - And you know you're gonna die.
00:55:48 That's easy, I'd go to space camp.
00:55:51 Space camp?
00:55:53 Yeah, it's in Alabama. It's where kids
00:55:58 I've always wanted to go
00:56:02 You're invisible
00:56:04 I didn't pick invisible,
00:56:08 Aren't you too old
00:56:11 You're never too old
00:00:12 One hundred and twenty-two
00:00:14 Seven hundred and thirty-two
00:00:17 Two hundred and fifty-seven
00:00:19 One hundred and eighty-nine
00:00:24 Here Harold stood, face to face
00:00:30 And stand is almost all Harold did.
00:00:33 It wasn't just about finding
00:00:36 It was about finding a guitar
00:00:42 Unfortunately, this guitar said:
00:00:44 "When I get back to Georgia,
00:00:50 This one said something
00:00:52 "Why, yes, these pants are Lycra."
00:00:56 These said, "I'm very sensitive,
00:00:58 ...and I have absolutely no idea
00:01:06 "I'm compensating for something.
00:01:15 And then Harold saw it.
00:01:18 A damaged and terribly mistreated
00:01:21 ...staring back at him.
00:01:23 Despite its obvious maladies...
00:01:25 ...the guitar spoke
00:01:28 In fact, it looked Harold directly
00:01:33 "I rock."
00:01:37 Just breathe. Watch it!
00:01:38 We've got a 21-year-old male
00:01:43 There you go.
00:01:45 Shot in a gang fight?
00:01:50 Man in tweed?
00:01:54 There's nothing wrong with him,
00:01:57 Oddly spoken with disdain.
00:02:00 This isn't working.
00:02:01 Well... I don't even know
00:02:04 I don't think we're supposed
00:02:06 - You said I needed visual stimuli.
00:02:09 I don't need a goddamn museum.
00:02:12 You are the infirm.
00:02:14 You're right. The problem is
00:02:17 ...they're just severely injured.
00:02:19 Excuse me,
00:02:24 Most of these people
00:02:27 Which is great, don't get me wrong.
00:02:29 - But they're gonna get better,
00:02:32 Is there any way to see the people
00:02:35 Excuse me?
00:02:36 I'd like to see, if at all possible,
00:02:40 You know, the dead-for-sure ones.
00:02:42 I'm sorry,
00:02:47 Just writer's block.
00:02:57 With every awkward strum...
00:02:59 ...Harold Crick became stronger
00:03:03 ...what he wanted,
00:03:08 Harold no longer ate alone.
00:03:11 He no longer counted brushstrokes.
00:03:14 - Harold, I'll see you.
00:03:17 Bye, Dave.
00:03:18 And, therefore, no longer worried
00:03:25 He no longer counted his steps
00:03:32 Instead, Harold did that
00:03:37 That which had eluded him
00:03:41 ...for so many years.
00:03:44 That which the unrelenting lyrics...
00:03:47 ...of numerous punk-rock songs
00:03:51 Harold Crick lived his life.
00:04:04 But despite resuscitating his life...
00:04:07 ...reviving his hope, and instilling
00:04:11 ...Harold's journey
00:04:15 And Harold's wristwatch wasn't about
00:04:30 Ms. Pascal?
00:04:32 - Ms. Pascal?
00:04:35 - Hi.
00:04:38 - Hi.
00:04:41 I'm glad I caught you.
00:04:44 Oh, yeah? Why?
00:04:46 Because I wanted
00:04:51 - Really?
00:04:54 So you can't accept gifts,
00:04:59 - Listen...
00:05:00 That seems a little inconsistent,
00:05:03 Very inconsistent, yes.
00:05:05 I'll tell you what.
00:05:07 - No.
00:05:09 ...I'd like to purchase them.
00:05:12 Flours.
00:05:14 - What?
00:05:28 And you carried them
00:05:34 Ms. Pascal, I've been odd
00:05:40 And I want you.
00:05:44 - What?
00:05:46 There's so many influences in my life
00:05:50 ...at times quite literally...
00:05:51 ...that I should come here
00:05:55 ...but I'm doing this
00:05:59 You want me?
00:06:01 In no uncertain terms.
00:06:06 Isn't there some very clear
00:06:12 ...rule about fraternization?
00:06:16 - Auditor-auditee protocol?
00:06:18 Yeah, but I don't care.
00:06:21 - Why?
00:06:30 Well...
00:06:33 ...do you mind carrying those
00:06:37 Okay.
00:06:41 Okay.
00:06:56 Did you make a key?
00:06:58 No, I just committed it to memory.
00:07:00 - The blue, that's barley flour.
00:07:05 - The orange?
00:07:06 I forget.
00:07:08 Right here.
00:07:13 Do you wanna come up?
00:07:17 - To your place?
00:07:21 I guess I could.
00:07:23 Wasn't that the idea with the flours
00:07:29 Honestly, I only figured it out
00:07:34 Listen, Mr. Crick...
00:07:37 ...I think I like you.
00:07:39 And before I do anything rash,
00:07:46 I'd like you to come up.
00:07:50 I'd be honored.
00:07:53 Great.
00:07:58 Yeah, he was nuts though.
00:07:59 He got caught when he tried
00:08:03 No. No.
00:08:11 Was it good?
00:08:12 Thank you.
00:08:14 - You're welcome.
00:08:16 No, no, I'm gonna put them in the sink.
00:08:29 So do you play the guitar?
00:08:31 - What?
00:08:34 Terribly. Someone traded me that
00:08:39 Does that mean I have to claim it
00:08:42 - No. I'll leave it out of my final report.
00:08:48 Do you play?
00:08:49 Not really. I only know one song.
00:08:51 Oh, play it.
00:08:53 No, I don't know it that well, actually.
00:08:55 No, come on. I promise I'm not gonna
00:08:58 No, no, no. Maybe some other time.
00:09:01 All right.
00:11:28 Ms. Pascal?
00:11:30 - I...
00:11:33 I want you too.
00:11:55 Harold's life was filled with moments
00:12:01 But to Harold, those moments
00:12:06 ...except for this.
00:12:08 As Ana let out a soft sigh and
00:12:14 ...Harold knew
00:12:16 ...that this was one
00:12:19 He knew she was
00:12:25 Professor Hilbert. It's a comedy.
00:12:27 - What?
00:12:30 The woman. The one who hates me.
00:12:34 - Last night...
00:12:36 She's falling in love with me.
00:12:38 - She is?
00:12:40 The voice confirmed it
00:12:43 Well, that's wonderful, Harold.
00:12:44 I mean, it completely nullifies my list,
00:12:47 What list?
00:12:49 These are seven living authors
00:12:51 ...would seem to make them
00:12:54 ...based on the criteria you and I
00:12:57 If your narrator is alive,
00:13:02 But it appears the list
00:13:05 Now that you're gonna live
00:13:07 Oh, goodie. This woman, Karen Eiffel,
00:13:12 - Hi.
00:13:13 Beautiful tragedies. Just beautiful.
00:13:16 ...let me quickly copy this list for you,
00:13:22 Sociopathic author.
00:13:25 - I just wanted to thank you.
00:13:28 Listen, please, you must tell me if you
00:13:32 ...just for my own edification.
00:13:34 I will.
00:13:38 Well, it's called Death and Taxes.
00:13:40 Wow. You know, I'm from Texas.
00:13:43 No. Not "Texas." Taxes.
00:13:47 Death and Taxes.
00:13:49 Taxes.
00:13:52 Precisely so.
00:13:54 This lady's a package,
00:13:56 Tell us, what is this next book
00:14:00 It's about interconnectivity.
00:14:03 The looming certainty of death.
00:14:06 Men's fashion accessories.
00:14:08 - Oh, my God, that's her.
00:14:10 - That's the voice. She's the narrator.
00:14:13 No, I'm positive.
00:14:15 Harold, this interview's a decade old.
00:14:18 I didn't think anyone actually
00:14:21 That's her.
00:14:23 - She's British?
00:14:26 - Karen Eiffel?
00:14:30 Crap.
00:14:31 - What's wrong?
00:14:34 I figured you would have mentioned
00:14:40 She kills people.
00:14:42 - What?
00:14:45 The books are all about...
00:14:48 - Kills who?
00:14:51 Four Black Veils. What is that?
00:14:53 It's about a girl who loses
00:14:56 ...in quick succession.
00:14:58 Where is she?
00:14:59 She's untraceable. Believe me,
00:15:05 I've written her letters. I mean,
00:15:08 Here. Here's the last book she wrote.
00:15:12 Look at the copyright. She hasn't
00:15:15 She had knowledge of the city.
00:15:17 She used to, yes, but I mean...
00:15:19 Banneker Press. 2267 Wallace Street.
00:15:22 You're not listening. I said even
00:15:26 Thank you for your help.
00:15:27 She only writes tragedies!
00:15:29 I don't believe in God.
00:15:59 Okay, he's bringing her flours.
00:16:13 Kay, where you been?
00:16:17 I went out to buy cigarettes...
00:16:20 ...and I figured out
00:16:24 Buying cigarettes?
00:16:25 As I was...
00:16:29 ...it came to me.
00:16:32 How?
00:16:34 Well, Penny,
00:16:36 ...it came inexplicably
00:16:39 I see. Then what happens?
00:16:43 It's perfect, actually. I can't believe
00:16:48 It's simple, ironic...
00:16:51 ...possibly heartbreaking.
00:16:55 Is that it?
00:16:56 Yes.
00:16:58 - You wrote it on legal sheets?
00:17:02 Well, then.
00:17:07 So I'll finish it today.
00:17:13 I'll let the publishers know.
00:17:16 I'll begin packing my things.
00:17:18 I appreciate it.
00:17:36 - Hi. Hello. Hi.
00:17:39 I need to speak to Karen Eiffel.
00:17:41 - I'm sorry?
00:17:43 She's one of your authors.
00:17:45 Well, sir, she's not here.
00:17:47 No. No, I know. I need to find her.
00:17:50 We're just the publishers.
00:17:52 Right. Of course. But there must be
00:17:56 We have the address
00:17:59 No, I can't send mail. It's urgent.
00:18:02 How do you know her?
00:18:04 - I'm her brother.
00:18:07 - Her brother-in-law.
00:18:11 No, I'm married to her brother.
00:18:14 Not in this state, the one over.
00:18:19 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you
00:18:22 No. Okay. Listen.
00:18:26 I'm one of her characters. I'm new.
00:18:32 And she's going to kill me.
00:18:36 But I think it'll actually kill me
00:18:40 ...and ask her to stop.
00:18:56 Hi, Harold. Nice sweater.
00:19:02 Hi, Harold. Phones are out.
00:19:03 Hey, Harold, 19 percent of 4632?
00:19:09 Hey, Harold. Back from your vaca?
00:19:12 Hey. Looking good.
00:19:15 - He looks terrible.
00:19:19 Wherever he went,
00:19:21 Book me not there.
00:19:26 He's totally ignoring me.
00:19:31 Here, look at this now.
00:19:33 It was good having you.
00:19:57 - Oh, dude, the phones are out.
00:20:00 - The signal's down.
00:20:03 - You all right?
00:20:05 - Sure, what is it?
00:20:11 Within moments, Harold found himself
00:20:15 ...heading for the nearest
00:20:20 At last, he spotted it.
00:20:24 But as Harold neared the phone,
00:20:27 ...by an octogenarian determined
00:20:31 ...no matter how many quarters
00:20:33 Fortunately, Harold remembered
00:20:35 ...in the Sixth Street subway tunnel.
00:20:37 The baby's name isn't Mrs. Epstein.
00:20:59 The first phone
00:21:02 And the second
00:21:04 ...with a fresh batch of mucus.
00:21:08 Harold dialed the third phone...
00:21:11 ...fervently making sure to give each
00:21:37 Don't answer that!
00:21:39 Didn't you say this phone never r...?
00:22:09 - Hello?
00:22:11 - Yes.
00:22:13 I believe you're writing a story
00:22:16 - I'm sorry?
00:22:21 - Is this a joke?
00:22:23 No, I work for the IRS. My name,
00:22:27 When I go through the files at work
00:22:30 - Oh, G...!
00:22:34 Hello?
00:22:36 Miss Eiffel? Hello?
00:22:45 Let him in.
00:22:59 Hello.
00:23:01 Hello.
00:23:03 I'm Penny. I'm Kay's assistant.
00:23:05 Oh, I'm Harold. Her main character.
00:23:26 Oh, my God.
00:23:32 Oh, my God.
00:23:35 Oh, my God.
00:23:42 Miss Eiffel?
00:23:43 Your hair. Your eyes.
00:23:48 Your fingers.
00:23:52 Your shoes.
00:23:57 Hello.
00:24:02 I'm Harold Crick.
00:24:05 I know.
00:24:08 How did you find me?
00:24:11 We audited you
00:24:14 ...and your number was in the file.
00:24:17 I'm sorry,
00:24:21 You're telling me.
00:24:24 Didn't you think you were crazy?
00:24:27 Sort of.
00:24:28 But then you were right
00:24:32 And then you said,
00:24:34 - "Little did he know"?
00:24:39 Jesus.
00:24:41 Which meant it was, well, you know,
00:24:44 At least that's what
00:24:47 Professor Hilbert?
00:24:50 - Professor Jules Hilbert?
00:24:53 Yeah, he loves your books.
00:24:55 I love his letters. I don't...
00:24:59 So you understand
00:25:01 ...and ask you not to kill me.
00:25:04 I mean, obviously
00:25:08 Harold...
00:25:10 I mean, now since we've met
00:25:14 ...you're not gonna kill me, right?
00:25:19 Have you written it?
00:25:21 I can... No.
00:25:23 - Have you written it?
00:25:25 Okay. But it's just an outline, right?
00:25:27 - Yeah, sort of.
00:25:29 - It's just not typed.
00:25:31 - Maybe that's okay.
00:25:32 - I'm sorry, I'm trying to write a book.
00:25:36 - What do you mean you're sorry?
00:25:38 Let him read it.
00:25:43 Let him read it.
00:25:59 - Did you find her?
00:26:02 - And?
00:26:06 ...just not typed.
00:26:09 Is that it?
00:26:12 Did you read it?
00:26:13 I tried, but I couldn't.
00:26:17 You have to read it.
00:26:19 You have to tell me
00:26:23 If I can avoid it...
00:26:26 If I have a chance...
00:26:29 Please.
00:26:37 Okay.
00:26:39 Okay.
00:27:19 And here's your uniform.
00:27:23 It's a go. Banetta's outside,
00:27:28 - And you roll.
00:28:28 Professor Hilbert?
00:28:31 - Hi, Harold.
00:28:36 You look tired.
00:28:38 No, no, just calm.
00:28:43 Harold, I'm sorry.
00:28:49 You have to die.
00:28:52 What?
00:28:53 It's her masterpiece.
00:28:58 It's possibly the most important novel
00:29:03 ...and it's absolutely no good
00:29:08 I've been over it again and again...
00:29:10 ...and I know how hard this is
00:29:18 You're asking me
00:29:22 Yes.
00:29:25 Really?
00:29:28 Yes.
00:29:39 I thought you'd...
00:29:45 I'm sorry, Harold.
00:29:49 Can't we just try and just see
00:29:53 - No.
00:29:56 Harold...
00:29:58 ...in the grand scheme
00:30:04 - Yes, it would.
00:30:09 I could change.
00:30:13 I could quit my job.
00:30:15 I could go away with Ana.
00:30:18 I could be someone else.
00:30:22 Harold, listen to me.
00:30:24 I can't die right now.
00:30:29 It's just really bad timing.
00:30:34 No one wants to die, Harold,
00:30:39 Harold...
00:30:41 Harold, listen to me.
00:30:45 Harold, you will die someday,
00:30:49 Heart failure at the bank.
00:30:51 Choke on a mint.
00:30:54 Some long, drawn-out disease
00:30:58 You will die. You will absolutely die.
00:31:02 Even if you avoid this death,
00:31:06 And I guarantee that it won't be nearly
00:31:12 ...as what she's written.
00:31:18 I'm sorry...
00:31:21 ...but it's the nature of all tragedies,
00:31:24 The hero dies,
00:32:07 - There's an empty seat right there.
00:32:47 Kay?
00:33:00 Kay?
00:33:04 How many people
00:33:09 - Kay.
00:33:11 - I don't know.
00:33:13 - Kay...
00:33:18 They're fictional. Get up.
00:33:20 Harold Crick isn't fictional.
00:33:23 - I don't...
00:33:26 Every book I've ever written ends
00:33:31 Really nice people too.
00:33:34 The book about Helen
00:33:39 I killed her
00:33:45 How cruel is that?
00:33:47 And the civil engineer, Edward.
00:33:51 The one I trapped...
00:33:53 ...with a heart attack in rush hour.
00:33:58 I killed him.
00:34:02 I killed...
00:34:05 Penny, I killed them all.
00:34:41 Miss Eiffel? Miss Eiffel?
00:34:45 - Harold.
00:34:47 - I just finished it.
00:34:50 Yeah, I read it all in one read
00:34:54 It's lovely.
00:34:56 I like the part about the guitars.
00:34:59 Well, thanks, thanks. Goo...
00:35:03 No, I read it and I loved it.
00:35:09 I mean, I don't have much background
00:35:12 ...but this seems simple enough.
00:35:17 I love your book.
00:35:38 The night before his death...
00:35:40 ...Harold unsuspectingly went about
00:35:45 He finished his outstanding audits.
00:35:50 He made a few phone calls
00:35:52 Listen, does your program
00:35:57 And he traveled to Ms. Pascal's...
00:35:59 ...where she made him meat loaf
00:36:03 ...and the two watched old movies.
00:36:07 It was a nice enough evening.
00:36:09 And in any other circumstance
00:36:14 In fact, the only thing
00:36:17 ...was the morning it preceded.
00:36:25 I have to tell you something.
00:36:28 You do?
00:36:30 I do.
00:36:32 - Is it a secret?
00:36:36 Tell me.
00:36:39 I adore you.
00:36:44 I adore you too.
00:36:49 - That it?
00:36:54 I have to tell you this.
00:36:56 I just want you to listen carefully.
00:36:58 Okay.
00:37:01 You can deduct the value
00:37:06 ...as a charitable contribution.
00:37:08 No, no, no. In fact it amounts to more
00:37:14 And it doesn't break any tax laws.
00:37:16 Harold, the point
00:37:21 I wanna make the world
00:37:25 I think that means
00:37:32 Okay.
00:37:34 Okay?
00:37:36 - Yeah.
00:37:38 If you come over here...
00:37:42 ...and talk a little more tax talk
00:37:46 Because I like it so much.
00:39:11 Much had changed for Harold
00:39:15 His attitude towards work.
00:39:17 His habitual counting.
00:39:20 His love life.
00:39:26 But of all the transmutations
00:39:29 ...perhaps the most significant
00:39:35 ...he was not late
00:39:42 What Harold had not understood...
00:39:44 ...about that Wednesday
00:39:46 ...was that the time he received from
00:39:49 ...was, in fact, three full minutes
00:39:53 ...and, therefore, three full minutes
00:39:56 ...than the time to which his watch
00:40:01 Not the worst of errors.
00:40:05 But if Harold had not set his watch
00:40:09 ...Harold would have again
00:40:13 And he would not be approaching
00:40:15 ...precisely at 8: 14
00:40:19 Excuse me.
00:40:24 Harold?
00:40:27 An otherwise ignorable fact...
00:40:30 ...until the unthinkable occurred.
00:41:05 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
00:41:08 I need for everyone
00:41:10 Come on, son.
00:41:16 - What happened? I didn't see him.
00:41:19 He was trying to help the boy.
00:41:22 I don't believe this.
00:41:23 - It was all my fault, though.
00:41:26 Is he okay?
00:41:27 - It looks likes he's breathing.
00:41:30 Oh, my God.
00:41:46 Come in.
00:41:51 Excuse me.
00:41:56 Are you Professor Hilbert?
00:42:00 Yes.
00:42:04 Hi. I'm Karen Eiffel.
00:42:07 I believe we have
00:42:13 Please, sit down.
00:42:16 No, I just came by to...
00:42:20 Here.
00:42:24 - Is that it?
00:42:28 Have you read it?
00:42:32 Is that all right?
00:42:37 Yes.
00:42:41 I think, perhaps, you may be
00:42:58 Good afternoon.
00:43:01 Oh, hi.
00:43:03 It's a pretty brave thing you did.
00:43:09 Stepping in front of that bus
00:43:13 Kind of stupid, but pretty brave.
00:43:16 Oh, yeah.
00:43:19 Is that boy okay?
00:43:21 He's just fine. Scratched up is all.
00:43:23 Oh, good.
00:43:27 Am I okay?
00:43:30 Well, you're not dead.
00:43:32 On the other hand, it looks like
00:43:35 ...you broke three bones
00:43:37 ...you suffered four broken ribs,
00:43:40 ...and severed an artery in your right,
00:43:44 But amazingly...
00:43:46 ...a shard of metal from your watch
00:43:49 ...keeping the blood loss
00:43:52 ...which is pretty cool.
00:43:55 Yeah.
00:43:57 ...a few months of rest,
00:44:00 Well, sort of. We weren't able
00:44:03 ...from your arm without risking
00:44:07 You'll be okay.
00:44:09 ...embedded in your arm
00:44:12 You're very lucky to be alive,
00:44:16 Yeah.
00:44:21 - Dr. Mercator, Mr. Crick has a visitor.
00:44:25 - My God, Harold.
00:44:32 - I'm okay. It's all right.
00:44:35 I'm fine.
00:44:36 Harold, you're not fine.
00:44:39 Look at you. You're severely injured.
00:44:43 - No, I'm fine.
00:44:47 I stepped in front of a bus.
00:44:49 What? Why?
00:44:52 There was a boy.
00:44:55 What?
00:44:58 I had to keep this boy from getting hit.
00:45:05 You stepped in front of a bus
00:45:09 I didn't have a choice.
00:45:11 I had to.
00:45:27 It's... It's okay.
00:45:32 - It's not great.
00:45:35 It's okay. It's not bad.
00:45:38 It's not the most amazing piece
00:45:41 ...but it's okay.
00:45:46 You know...
00:45:49 ...I think I'm fine with "okay."
00:45:52 It doesn't make sense
00:45:54 No, not yet. I'll rewrite the rest.
00:45:57 My assistant said
00:46:00 ...and request more time.
00:46:03 Don't know. It's awfully sweet though.
00:46:04 No, why did you change the book?
00:46:09 Lots of reasons.
00:46:11 I realized I just couldn't do it.
00:46:15 Because he's real?
00:46:18 Because it's a book about a man...
00:46:21 ...who doesn't know he's about to die
00:46:24 But if the man does know
00:46:28 ...dies willingly,
00:46:32 I mean, isn't that the type of man
00:46:38 As Harold took a bite
00:46:41 ...he finally felt as if everything
00:46:46 Sometimes, when we lose ourselves
00:46:50 ...in routine and constancy...
00:46:54 ...in hopelessness and tragedy...
00:46:56 ...we can thank God
00:47:01 And fortunately,
00:47:04 ...we can still find reassurance
00:47:10 ...or a kind and loving gesture...
00:47:16 ...or a subtle encouragement...
00:47:21 ...or a loving embrace...
00:47:26 ...or an offer of comfort.
00:47:29 Not to mention hospital gurneys...
00:47:35 ...and nose plugs...
00:47:44 ...and uneaten Danish...
00:47:49 ...and soft-spoken secrets...
00:47:55 ...and Fender Stratocasters...
00:47:58 ...and maybe the occasional piece
00:48:04 And we must remember
00:48:06 ...the nuances, the anomalies,
00:48:09 ...which we assume
00:48:11 ...are, in fact, here for a much larger
00:48:16 They are here to save our lives.
00:48:19 I know the idea seems strange.
00:48:22 But I also know that it
00:48:27 And so it was:
00:48:28 A wristwatch saved Harold Crick.