Table For Three

en
00:00:30 Barkeep, what's
00:00:35 two bucks?
00:00:37 For two bucks
00:00:38 everything that spilled
00:00:40 Splatmat Special.
00:00:42 That sounds terrible.
00:00:44 Bring it.
00:01:01 - Third-wheeling it, huh?
00:01:06 Oh, yeah.
00:01:08 You want some advice?
00:01:11 Watch your back
00:01:13 - Watch my back?
00:01:18 We just work together.
00:01:20 Yeah, it all seems innocent,
00:01:22 till one day
00:01:24 telling a stranger about
00:01:28 - You don't have to telI...
00:01:46 Karen Elizabeth Beale,
00:01:48 will you do me the great honor
00:02:05 Look what you've done
00:02:18 Hey, you know,
00:02:21 How?
00:02:22 Technically she never said no.
00:02:25 Maybe it was too soon.
00:02:27 Too soon? We've been
00:02:30 Almost.
00:02:31 I think anything under
00:02:34 if not downright irresponsible.
00:02:37 I'm sorry about this, man.
00:02:40 I wish I could be here for
00:02:42 No, I know. Look, it's fine.
00:02:44 I know how long you've
00:02:46 Yeah well, if you ever
00:02:51 you know,
00:02:53 Yeah, for sure.
00:02:58 Hey, do you mind?
00:03:00 We're having
00:03:02 Take your time, Mr. Sensitive.
00:03:05 Oh shit. Um, okay, I gotta bolt.
00:03:08 You sure you're gonna be okay?
00:03:10 Yeah, I'll be fine.
00:03:11 Oh, listen. Don't go falling for the
00:03:14 I know how you get.
00:03:18 will get you in nothing but trouble.
00:03:20 Trust me. Any shred of romance
00:03:22 was ground to
00:03:24 Oh, good.
00:03:25 I mean, not good. I mean...
00:03:27 fuck, you know what I mean.
00:03:29 Well, auf wiedersehen.
00:03:32 Eat some schnitzel for me
00:03:34 Aye. Be well.
00:03:36 And stay out of trouble.
00:03:56 Echo?
00:04:00 # La la la la #
00:04:03 # La la la la #
00:04:05 Knock it off, fuckhead!
00:04:08 # La la la la #
00:04:13 Asshole.
00:04:15 She won't let you out
00:04:17 Come on. What's that all about?
00:04:20 No, I'm not calling your wife a bitch.
00:04:22 No no no...
00:04:23 Hello?
00:04:25 Come on, man.
00:04:27 Okay. How long have
00:04:30 Scott Teller. I bought
00:04:34 # Last night
00:04:37 # Late call said
00:04:39 # Crying to me about #
00:04:41 # All of the things that we said #
00:04:44 # Apologized
00:04:46 # Said that you hadn't
00:04:49 # Said that you need me... #
00:04:50 Hey. I'm Nina.
00:04:53 Hi. Hi, Nina. I'm Scott.
00:04:56 I know this is
00:04:58 I think you're really cute
00:05:01 if you'd maybe like to go out.
00:05:03 I'd love you.
00:05:06 I mean, I'd love to
00:05:07 go out sometime.
00:05:09 Not to say that I couldn't
00:05:12 It's just, you know,
00:05:16 You never know what's
00:05:20 Nina?
00:05:21 # So I came back,
00:05:24 # Decided to
00:05:26 # To make it up to me #
00:05:28 # And not turn away... #
00:05:34 I gotta get a roommate.
00:05:37 You know, the best way
00:05:40 would be to do a monologue.
00:05:41 Okay.
00:05:45 As she leads me to her bed,
00:05:48 I see for the first time
00:05:50 piles and piles of pink panties.
00:05:55 Heh.
00:05:56 Harold just has difficulty
00:05:58 - Mmm.
00:06:00 Mmm...
00:06:11 My vagina is unto the world's
00:06:15 vagina!
00:06:17 I live just around the corner,
00:06:18 so I can visit all the time.
00:06:26 Thank you.
00:06:30 Ryan Beckett.
00:06:32 Mary Kincaid. Hi.
00:06:35 Hi. Scott Teller.
00:06:38 So, this place is awesome.
00:06:41 I was looking for a change last year,
00:06:44 I'm a senior product reviewer
00:06:47 It's a magazine for work-at-home
00:06:50 How do you like working
00:06:52 I won't lie to you.
00:06:54 It gets Ionely sometimes.
00:06:57 Which one of you is interested
00:07:00 - Actually...
00:07:03 To be honest, I'm not really sure
00:07:07 No offense, but it seems like
00:07:13 Is everything okay?
00:07:15 Yeah. We've just been
00:07:18 trying to find a place.
00:07:21 Yeah, and we're really into the whole
00:07:26 Yeah.
00:07:33 - Are you okay?
00:07:36 No, it's just your beard...
00:07:38 Yeah, that.
00:07:40 It itches like a bastard.
00:07:44 Someone on the street yesterday
00:07:48 I keep meaning to shave it off,
00:07:50 but I guess I really haven't
00:07:52 not since Karen...
00:07:56 but I don't want to bore you
00:08:00 Uh, no. We're not in
00:08:04 You can tell us, Scott.
00:08:08 Okay.
00:08:13 # We sit around #
00:08:15 # Looking for flaws
00:08:19 # We sit around spilling our
00:08:25 # We sit around
00:08:28 # Through the darkness #
00:08:32 # And we waste our time #
00:08:35 # When we could be
00:08:41 # And we trace heartbreak
00:08:45 # Can see heartbreak
00:08:48 Drum roll, please.
00:08:52 - Yay!
00:08:54 Much much better.
00:08:55 Yeah, considerably less
00:08:59 That's exactly what I was going for.
00:09:02 Well, this was really fun
00:09:05 - We should get going.
00:09:06 Hey, listen. Here is our card.
00:09:10 Yeah, call us sometime if you
00:09:14 or just talk.
00:09:16 Good luck with
00:09:18 Whoever you find is lucky to live
00:09:27 Hey, guys, let's do it.
00:09:29 Why don't you move in?
00:09:33 Scott, are you sure?
00:09:34 You guys are the
00:09:36 and let's face it... you're
00:09:39 This place is totally big enough
00:09:41 Scott, you are not gonna regret this!
00:09:44 We will totally keep
00:09:47 - having just one roommate.
00:09:48 When can you guys move in?
00:09:50 - This weekend?
00:09:52 - This weekend!
00:09:53 I'll see you then.
00:09:54 - All right!
00:09:56 Okay. See ya!
00:09:59 See you soon.
00:10:15 I can't believe how well our colors
00:10:18 Is that fate or what?
00:10:20 Uh, yeah. Looks great.
00:10:23 Give him a break, Mary.
00:10:26 which is why he is much more
00:10:29 Holy crap!
00:10:33 Well, I am just so glad to see
00:10:36 that you two stayed together.
00:10:38 Yeah, it really looked like
00:10:41 were on the ropes
00:10:46 Well, fortunately Nerissa has
00:10:50 Aww.
00:10:51 Come on, you two
00:10:54 What?
00:10:55 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
00:10:56 I know I always do this.
00:10:58 but it really isn't my fault.
00:11:00 and I was on the PCH and
00:11:03 and there was a turned-over beekeeper's
00:11:06 and there was a cop
00:11:08 directing traffic
00:11:09 and he's swatting at all the bees.
00:11:11 Everybody gets confused,
00:11:14 so there was honey
00:11:16 Ted, it was not my fault this time,
00:11:19 Okay, calm down. We have
00:11:21 Calm down.
00:11:22 Tat's the most ridiculous thing
00:11:27 I'm gonna use that one
00:11:28 Are you accusing me of lying?
00:11:30 No. That's what's perfect about it.
00:11:34 You'd be surprised.
00:11:37 All right, what's
00:11:39 My best one?
00:11:41 and I don't think
00:11:42 I've got an idea.
00:11:44 How about we have a date,
00:11:47 Saturday night, 8:00, here?
00:11:50 You come at 9:30
00:11:52 - This guy's got game.
00:11:55 Uh, do we know this guy?
00:11:57 Leslie, these are my friends
00:12:00 - Friends? Really?
00:12:02 Hi. And this is
00:12:05 He is a good man.
00:12:08 Vouchers. I like vouchers,
00:12:11 but I gotta say no, because I'm not into
00:12:16 Okay. Well, we'll all go,
00:12:19 - Right? Saturday.
00:12:21 - Honey.
00:12:23 We have that thing
00:12:25 We could go.
00:12:26 - Yeah.
00:12:27 Yeah, sure.
00:12:29 Chaperones.
00:12:33 Uh, nnnnn... okay.
00:12:36 Why not?
00:12:40 But we're late
00:12:43 - so...
00:12:44 Good. No chance for me
00:12:47 I'll see you on Saturday...
00:12:49 - Oh, Leslie Green.
00:12:51 - Scott Teller.
00:12:54 - See you Saturday.
00:12:58 - Bye.
00:13:00 See ya Saturday.
00:13:04 Scotty Scott Scotterton
00:13:09 Way to get back
00:13:11 - I'll say. Giddyup, huh?
00:13:13 Did you see that?
00:13:14 Who's got two thumbs
00:13:16 - This guy.
00:13:32 - You've been a bad girl.
00:13:34 - That'll work.
00:13:35 Oh! Aha!
00:13:38 The whisk.
00:13:42 You gonna take me
00:13:45 - I'm taking you all the way down!
00:13:50 There was a farmer
00:13:53 ...and Ryan was his name... oh!
00:14:22 # I'm gonna take you take you home. #
00:14:25 - Unh!
00:14:26 - Harmonies. What?
00:14:28 - Scott. Scotty!
00:14:30 - Nervous, buddy?
00:14:32 - Mmm?
00:14:34 Um, yeah, a little bit, I guess.
00:14:36 - I'd be nervous.
00:14:39 I'm talking fucking apeshit!
00:14:42 Yeah.
00:14:49 - Hi.
00:14:51 - Hey.
00:14:53 Hey! How are you?
00:14:57 - Flaming Gorilla Nipple?
00:14:59 I see you guys
00:15:02 Well, it was 5:00
00:15:07 I don't even drink anymore.
00:15:08 Of course I don't
00:15:10 Hiyo! What are you drinking?
00:15:11 Probably just a glass of red wine.
00:15:12 - Mmm.
00:15:14 Scotty Dog is not much
00:15:18 - The tannins give him headaches.
00:15:22 Thanks, guys.
00:15:25 Of course you can!
00:15:26 If there's anything
00:15:29 it's talk... a lot.
00:15:31 Like, yap yap yap yap.
00:15:34 Like a chihuahua.
00:15:38 Yeah, come on,
00:15:42 Oh!
00:15:45 Watch this!
00:15:47 This will be good.
00:15:49 Here it comes.
00:15:53 Really?
00:15:56 How have you been?
00:15:59 - Brilliant!
00:16:01 Hemingway
00:16:03 Guys, really, I...
00:16:04 - So how have you been, Les?
00:16:06 Oh. Uh, I've been good.
00:16:09 Can't say I love being called Les.
00:16:12 - Oh! Hmm!
00:16:15 I can't stand it when
00:16:19 - Yes.
00:16:20 - Right.
00:16:22 - No.
00:16:24 - like a pony?
00:16:27 mare or something,
00:16:29 Guys, I don't think this whole
00:16:33 We're gonna get going.
00:16:34 - What?
00:16:36 You guys are shitfaced.
00:16:38 How dare you?
00:16:41 That is silly.
00:16:43 I am sober as a fucking judge!
00:16:46 I think it's fine.
00:16:49 We've all been there.
00:16:50 - Oh, thank you.
00:16:53 Oh!
00:16:55 Oh, God! You know what
00:16:57 - Say it.
00:16:58 - Unh!
00:17:00 We have to go get Mexican food.
00:17:03 It's so good.
00:17:04 - I don't know, guys...
00:17:06 - Shall we vamanos?
00:17:08 - Si, senorita.
00:17:10 I know the best spot.
00:17:12 - Yes.
00:17:13 we'll get fucking hammered.
00:17:14 - So fu...
00:17:16 hammered! Oh!
00:17:19 I love the sound of this.
00:17:20 Oh, boy.
00:17:23 Somebody get this guy
00:17:24 - You should sleep with him.
00:17:28 - He's awesome.
00:17:29 They crack me up.
00:17:31 Everybody in the
00:17:32 Ryan, what do you do?
00:17:34 Mary and I are in contract law.
00:17:37 - We're both paralegals.
00:17:40 But we'll probably be going back
00:17:42 Oh? What school
00:17:44 Wait a minute.
00:17:46 Yeah, diddling.
00:17:47 - You know, with...
00:17:50 - I can't believe you just sat there.
00:17:53 Well, Stanford's the dream,
00:17:59 I know. Fuck yeah.
00:18:02 You okay, Mary?
00:18:04 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:18:06 - Stop it.
00:18:09 Driver, turn left here.
00:18:12 And you didn't say anything?
00:18:13 What was I supposed to do,
00:18:14 let Leslie know that a fingerbanging was
00:18:18 That's not first-date material, bro.
00:18:20 I'm sorry. Please continue.
00:18:24 So have you guys
00:18:25 one of you going to school
00:18:28 Uh-huh.
00:18:29 What, you mean like one of us go
00:18:31 - Mmm.
00:18:33 Yes! Yes!
00:18:37 Well, it sounds like
00:18:39 Mm-hmm.
00:18:57 Oh! Wow!
00:19:00 They're really drunk,
00:19:03 Yeah.
00:19:05 Uh, she's a little, uh...
00:19:08 tired, so I think we're just gonna
00:19:11 go home and hit the sackaroo.
00:19:14 You guys are cool
00:19:15 Safely? Safely? Safely?
00:19:16 Yeah, we can do that.
00:19:18 Okay.
00:19:26 Let's go home.
00:19:31 - Hasta lasagna!
00:19:36 That was weird.
00:19:38 You have no idea.
00:19:41 So, the three of you
00:19:43 Um, yeah.
00:19:45 I mean, we have.
00:19:47 Maybe that's a little strange.
00:19:49 Mmm. I get it. I've been the
00:19:52 way more times
00:19:53 Well, tonight notwithstanding,
00:19:57 Very perky, maybe
00:20:02 if you know what I mean.
00:20:05 Well, the way Ted explains it,
00:20:07 - What?
00:20:10 He is a cynic with
00:20:12 Nerissa says they're good people,
00:20:16 Well, next time we go out,
00:20:18 Oh, so there's gonna be
00:20:21 Yeah. You can't let
00:20:24 I mean, this has
00:20:30 What are you
00:20:32 Something with you, I hope.
00:20:33 Wow, you really play
00:20:38 Okay, well, in that case,
00:20:41 you should come by
00:20:44 I'm there.
00:20:46 Cool.
00:20:49 What?
00:20:50 Nothing. I just...
00:20:54 I just realized I probably
00:20:56 till the end of the date
00:20:59 'cause now there's no buildup,
00:21:02 there's no tension,
00:21:06 How great is that?
00:21:20 Wow!
00:21:24 - Hey!
00:21:26 Hi. We are so so
00:21:30 so sorry about last night.
00:21:33 Yeah, we were
00:21:36 I don't know what happens
00:21:38 - I just get so H-O-R-N-Y.
00:21:41 and I am a total man-whore
00:21:46 We practice hot monogamy.
00:21:48 I'm what you'd call
00:21:50 One of the pillars of our relationship.
00:21:54 - Mmm.
00:21:55 And it doesn't hurt that I rarely
00:21:56 - if ever wear panties for him.
00:21:59 You must think
00:22:02 The whole thing
00:22:04 Ooh! Tawdry.
00:22:06 - It's awesome, right?
00:22:08 Guys, let's just try to establish and
00:22:12 - Can do, Mr. Magoo.
00:22:14 And to make it up to you,
00:22:17 I can see that.
00:22:19 I could see that from space.
00:22:21 - Diggith inneth.
00:22:24 - We need more eggs.
00:22:27 - My thoughts eggsactly.
00:22:31 none of this was
00:22:36 Um...
00:22:38 you know, the less we talk or think
00:22:43 We just feel terrible
00:22:45 that we ruined it for you
00:22:48 Leslie. And, um,
00:22:51 We're going out tonight.
00:22:55 Wow,
00:22:56 two dates in two days.
00:22:59 Jesus H. Christ, Scott,
00:23:01 I thought we weren't gonna
00:23:03 I'm not rushing into anything.
00:23:07 Whatever. It's like you want
00:23:10 Scott, uh, what about
00:23:15 You don't even call the girl the next
00:23:18 You're never gonna
00:23:20 I'm not really a guy-code guy, Ryan.
00:23:22 I like to play it by ear.
00:23:24 Yeah. That's been
00:23:26 - Mary!
00:23:28 She's kidding. I mean,
00:23:31 I am and I amn't.
00:23:33 Look, thank you for breakfast,
00:23:36 - It's dropped.
00:23:37 - Like a hot potato.
00:23:40 - Like a prom dress.
00:23:44 Well, it looks like
00:23:47 on the wrong side
00:23:50 Your eggs are getting cold, Scott.
00:23:58 Other lightweight vacuums
00:24:01 That's why Dyson
00:24:06 See you all later.
00:24:08 Wait!
00:24:10 - We have to come with you.
00:24:12 To apologize to Leslie.
00:24:15 That won't be necessary.
00:24:17 I know, but it would just make
00:24:20 Yeah. We got off
00:24:23 Such the wrong foot.
00:24:26 Okay.
00:24:28 But you leave after the apology,
00:24:32 Don't worry, we'll be good.
00:24:34 Ow.
00:24:37 It just keeps coming.
00:24:40 Look, I really want to spend
00:24:43 Alone.
00:24:45 - Right. Say, Ryan?
00:24:47 What's the name of
00:24:49 that recorded the song
00:24:50 Why, Mary, that would be
00:24:53 Which is exactly what
00:24:57 Okay, you guys clearly
00:25:02 Come on.
00:25:16 She stood you up, man.
00:25:17 - Left you hanging.
00:25:21 I feel awful.
00:25:23 This is obviously our fault.
00:25:25 Oh, man, this sucks.
00:25:27 So what do you say we go get
00:25:29 - All you can do, really. Right?
00:25:31 Shall we?
00:25:33 Hi!
00:25:34 Are you here to see someone?
00:25:36 Uh, yes. Leslie.
00:25:37 Leslie Galinsky?
00:25:39 No, Leslie Green.
00:25:40 Oh, Leslie G.
00:25:43 Come on in.
00:25:45 Thanks.
00:25:47 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:25:49 We're with Scotty.
00:25:51 I'm just a woodland nymph
00:26:03 - Bye.
00:26:13 Oh, hey, you made it.
00:26:15 Hey, yeah, I did.
00:26:17 Sorry to drag you by work like this
00:26:18 but we've been
00:26:19 I've had very little
00:26:21 - This is work?
00:26:25 I am the seamstress
00:26:28 Cool.
00:26:29 But I thought maybe you'd want
00:26:32 I put together some snacks.
00:26:36 And I brought some wine...
00:26:38 because I know
00:26:42 Is that cool?
00:26:44 Yeah. That'll do.
00:26:46 Okay, well, let's get a seat.
00:27:14 Leslie!
00:27:17 Leslie!
00:27:19 We're sorry!
00:27:22 - It's all on us.
00:27:25 - Oh my God.
00:27:26 - Not Galinksky!
00:27:28 Scott didn't do anything!
00:27:31 So if you were planning
00:27:34 Or going all the way
00:27:35 Full speed ahead!
00:27:38 Thumbs up
00:27:40 Groovy?
00:27:41 Dude playing Puck,
00:27:43 - you are awesome!
00:27:45 - Scotty, we'll see you at home.
00:27:47 - Yeah.
00:27:54 Fantastic.
00:28:24 Again, I'm sorry
00:28:26 Just forget about it.
00:28:29 let some gut-wrenching, potentially
00:28:34 ruin a good date.
00:28:35 Good date? Come on,
00:28:37 this is undoubtedly the best date
00:28:39 Yeah, I kind of
00:28:42 Yeah. I mean, the bar
00:28:45 I'm clearly gonna have to involve
00:28:48 if I even hope to top this.
00:28:49 Well I don't know about air travel,
00:28:55 how do you feel
00:28:57 Ours?
00:28:59 No.
00:29:01 Ted and Nerissa are getting
00:29:03 and I'm the maid of honor.
00:29:04 And I don't have a date.
00:29:08 And I kind of don't think
00:29:11 I'm gonna want to go with
00:29:13 so come with me.
00:29:18 Yeah, absolutely. Weddings
00:29:22 You don't
00:29:25 I like this.
00:29:27 - What?
00:29:31 and not have to worry
00:29:35 No, you definitely won't.
00:29:36 I feel like I don't have
00:29:40 I don't have to couch anything.
00:29:43 I don't even know
00:29:45 So, no,
00:29:48 you definitely don't have
00:29:56 Leslie, time to go!
00:29:59 Oh, that's my ride.
00:30:02 I can take you home.
00:30:04 That's all right.
00:30:07 I don't want to rush anything.
00:30:11 Me neither.
00:30:17 I'll call you.
00:30:19 - Okay.
00:30:39 Please, just shut up!
00:30:51 Hey! There's the man!
00:30:56 Mary, is everything okay?
00:30:57 Everything's fine.
00:30:59 It was great, after you guys
00:31:02 Oh, you did hear.
00:31:04 Yeah, they heard in Cucamonga.
00:31:06 What's with this plate?
00:31:07 Oh. Little accident on my part.
00:31:11 It's a long story.
00:31:13 I will replace that.
00:31:16 Nothing major.
00:31:19 Were you guys fighting?
00:31:21 Hah! I told you,
00:31:25 It's not our thing, buddy.
00:31:28 I think they're clean,
00:31:31 I'll decide that, honeybunches.
00:31:33 Ryan, who were you
00:31:36 What? No one. What?
00:31:40 So, Scotty, was it a good night?
00:31:44 - Did you tap that ass yet?
00:31:46 Aw, come on. Did you give her
00:31:50 - Mary, what the hell?
00:31:52 - and bring Alice the meat?
00:31:55 Mmm. This sex talk have me
00:31:59 Oh, I love it
00:32:02 That was, uh,
00:32:04 No, don't be silly.
00:32:06 "Oh, curry in a hurry,
00:32:09 Native American Indian.
00:32:11 - Oh.
00:32:12 - Geronimo.
00:32:16 - Come here.
00:32:18 - Good night.
00:32:20 Take me to your wigwam,
00:32:22 I'm gonna trade you $27
00:32:27 Hi-ya hi-ya...
00:32:29 Put me
00:32:33 Here's some wampum.
00:32:44 I got it!
00:32:52 Hey, Scotty Dog,
00:33:00 - Hello?
00:33:03 Hey, Leslie. Have you been talking
00:33:07 Is that a problem?
00:33:08 No, it's just... they were
00:33:12 In fact I'm beginning to think
00:33:15 What were
00:33:17 Oh, you know, girl stuff.
00:33:21 So, what are you doing Friday?
00:33:24 Yeah, I'd love to.
00:33:26 I hear you like the batting cages.
00:33:32 - Where did you hear that?
00:33:35 So, Friday at 7:00?
00:33:37 And by the way,
00:33:41 I know,
00:33:43 I have to log at least twice
00:33:46 if I'm going to feel
00:33:48 Well, get to work, lazybones.
00:33:52 - Okay.
00:33:54 Bye.
00:34:02 Jesus, you guys hungry
00:34:04 Oh, I don't know, Scott.
00:34:06 Yeah, weird
00:34:08 because I've been
00:34:10 That is so weird!
00:34:12 - That's weird.
00:34:13 Guys, is something going on?
00:34:15 Is this, like, a thing?
00:34:17 She heard you tell Lisa
00:34:20 - Leslie.
00:34:22 Why do I have such
00:34:24 I do too. It's like,
00:34:26 But you had no right
00:34:27 I was just in the process
00:34:30 and making sure you'd
00:34:32 and that it was connecting,
00:34:35 Scott, come on.
00:34:39 Do you think we're weird?
00:34:42 Yeah. Yes.
00:34:44 If you want to know the truth, yes,
00:34:48 Us?
00:34:49 I'm sure.
00:34:51 Scott, I was a Gerber baby.
00:34:54 And I am from Marblehead,
00:34:57 - Idyllic!
00:34:59 - Yeah.
00:35:02 Well, okay, for starters,
00:35:05 That's... it's just odd.
00:35:06 We're not into
00:35:09 I'm just curious. Do you want us
00:35:13 - Right?
00:35:15 But it's just that
00:35:20 and it's very healthy
00:35:22 Now I'm just confused.
00:35:24 I mean, I don't even know
00:35:27 Okay. Just... here, come here.
00:35:31 Okay. Mary, you sit here.
00:35:34 Ryan, you sit here.
00:35:38 No no, guys, get...
00:35:42 Sit apart.
00:35:43 There.
00:35:48 Now, clearly
00:35:52 going on last night,
00:35:53 so let's draw from there.
00:35:55 All right?
00:35:56 Now, tell him what you think.
00:35:59 Okay.
00:36:03 Ryan,
00:36:06 - you were being a dummy.
00:36:09 I appreciate that you're speaking
00:36:12 - Thank you.
00:36:15 Tell her what you were
00:36:19 Okay. Uh, I...
00:36:21 Mary, I wish that you
00:36:26 about the toilet seat.
00:36:29 - Yes, very good.
00:36:31 Nice. Okay now, Mary,
00:36:34 Um,
00:36:36 Freak.
00:36:40 Twat.
00:36:42 - Ass hat.
00:36:43 Shitheel.
00:36:45 Strumpet.
00:36:46 Jerkoff.
00:36:48 Queef waffle.
00:36:49 Nagfucker.
00:36:51 Tampon wrapper.
00:36:52 Mama's boy.
00:36:54 Bloody fucking cun...
00:36:56 Ow! Oh!
00:37:02 You know, in the UK that word's
00:37:06 I know.
00:37:07 But this is an important lesson
00:37:12 You can't go from a slap fight
00:37:17 And look. You had a fight
00:37:20 - No.
00:37:23 Scott, you're right.
00:37:25 We have a lot of issues
00:37:28 and you're right,
00:37:32 Yeah. Thank you, Scott.
00:37:34 I think it's clear that we both
00:37:39 I can't tell you how much
00:37:42 Wow. Well, that's really nice.
00:37:45 I'm just so glad we found you.
00:37:49 Aw, come here.
00:37:54 Oh.
00:37:57 # Let's go, let's go,
00:37:59 # Let's go,
00:38:02 # Let's go, let's go... #
00:38:04 - What's up, roomie?
00:38:12 - Hey.
00:38:13 Do you want to move on
00:38:16 - Pump your lats?
00:38:19 What do you say?
00:38:20 Uh, no thanks.
00:38:23 - What a coincidence.
00:38:25 Yeah.
00:38:27 But you guys just got here.
00:38:29 Hey, we work hard, not long.
00:38:31 - That's how we roll.
00:38:33 Where are you headed?
00:38:35 Mind if we come with?
00:38:36 No, it won't be necessary.
00:38:38 My head's kind of hurting, so I'm gonna
00:38:42 Golly.
00:38:43 Didn't think it was a crime to want
00:38:46 Yeah, I mean if you want
00:38:48 - We're history.
00:38:50 - Ghosts.
00:38:52 - Peace out...
00:38:54 Okay.
00:38:56 Well, what time will
00:38:59 # Let's go, let's go,
00:39:02 # Let's go,
00:39:05 # Let's go, let's go,
00:39:09 # Let's go,
00:39:12 # Let's go, let's go
00:39:15 # Let's go,
00:39:18 # You'll never know
00:39:21 # Just what
00:39:25 Damn, you're good.
00:39:27 We had three dates.
00:39:31 - Just an expression.
00:39:39 - You moving?
00:39:41 My apartment building
00:39:44 How long do you have
00:39:46 Mmm, like 40 days.
00:39:50 Leslie...
00:39:52 I know this sounds crazy and we
00:39:55 but... move in with me.
00:39:58 What?
00:40:00 I'm serious.
00:40:02 You can have
00:40:04 you know,
00:40:07 Oh my God.
00:40:10 I mean, what about
00:40:14 To be honest,
00:40:17 I'll give them plenty of notice
00:40:21 L-I don't know.
00:40:23 I just need to think about it.
00:40:26 I'm gonna need, like,
00:40:29 - I...
00:40:31 I... I think...
00:40:34 we should go back
00:40:36 Okay.
00:40:38 'Cause I don't want
00:40:40 - Okay?
00:40:46 Happy birthday to me.
00:40:49 It's just right here.
00:40:52 Okay, now...
00:40:54 Let me check to make sure
00:40:55 Okay, well, hurry up.
00:41:02 Oh, hey!
00:41:04 I was going to get us
00:41:06 Oh.
00:41:08 Well, there is no time
00:41:12 Where is your bedroom?
00:41:15 I like where this is heading.
00:41:22 Slow down. What are you doing?
00:41:25 Hold on... watch out.
00:41:28 Why are you going outside?
00:41:34 Surprise!
00:41:37 # For he's a jolly good fellow #
00:41:40 # For he's a jolly
00:41:42 # For he's a jolly good fellow #
00:41:47 # Which nobody can deny... #
00:41:49 - Stop! Okay, that's fine. Stop.
00:41:52 Yeah, stop.
00:41:55 - Who planned this?
00:41:57 - Chicka chicka boo-ya!
00:42:01 Happy b'day.
00:42:03 Did you take that picture
00:42:05 You just looked
00:42:08 We figured since you don't have any
00:42:13 it'd be a great way for you
00:42:15 - Right?
00:42:17 No no, that's very funny,
00:42:20 just not in L.A.
00:42:23 Were you a part of this?
00:42:25 This is what Mary and I
00:42:29 You know, right before
00:42:32 - Mmm, yeah, thanks again for that.
00:42:35 How did you even know
00:42:37 Well, you left your driver's license
00:42:41 And so you just...
00:42:42 Dude, she wanted to know
00:42:45 - It's Paul.
00:42:46 Everyone, it's Paul.
00:42:48 Paul!
00:42:51 Do you two have any awareness of what
00:42:54 Is the idea of keeping your
00:42:57 so impossible for you
00:43:00 Good night, everybody.
00:43:02 but there's no party!
00:43:07 Good night.
00:43:09 Scott!
00:43:10 Scott?
00:43:12 Scott!
00:43:14 How could you do that
00:43:17 They went to all this trouble
00:43:19 granted, I guess the people
00:43:21 aren't the coolest people on the planet,
00:43:24 Can't you just be thankful
00:43:27 Leslie,
00:43:29 There's something very very wrong
00:43:32 What?
00:43:33 Well, they...
00:43:35 and...
00:43:38 It's hard to explain, okay?
00:43:42 Wow. Okay, well remind me never
00:43:47 Leslie, wait, sorry.
00:43:50 I'm sorry.
00:44:01 Everyone?
00:44:05 I... I am... I'm sorry about all this.
00:44:08 Um, I hope you stay.
00:44:10 It'd mean a lot to me.
00:44:14 I, uh, I...
00:44:17 I don't have any friends
00:44:19 So I didn't tell the few people
00:44:23 because I was afraid that I would
00:44:27 um...
00:44:29 if I didn't have anybody
00:44:33 I, um,
00:44:35 and I hope you'll stay
00:44:38 and forgive me for
00:44:43 And let's have some fun.
00:44:45 DJ, drop it like it's hot.
00:44:51 # Die now, die #
00:44:54 # Die now, die #
00:44:58 # Die now, die! #
00:45:01 # Die now, die... #
00:45:13 - I'm sorry.
00:45:16 You're not gonna leave, are you?
00:45:17 I'll bet the DJ can play
00:45:21 maybe some Limp Bizkit.
00:45:24 Uh, Limp Bizkit is
00:45:26 # I can't wait #
00:45:59 # My love #
00:46:02 # Tell me what it's all about #
00:46:09 Sporty Spice.
00:46:11 - Oh!
00:46:16 Holy shit, he really does live
00:46:19 Honey, you promised, remember?
00:46:20 - I need to talk to you.
00:46:23 Hi.
00:46:27 Aww!
00:46:29 - Thank you, thank you.
00:46:31 Hey, Ted, you have history
00:46:35 Can I talk to you
00:46:38 You're going to want something
00:46:44 Okay, I'm not even going to tell you
00:46:47 to get him here.
00:46:48 You know, it's not that
00:46:51 I'm not gonna tell you.
00:46:53 The joys of
00:46:55 Girl, you have no idea.
00:46:56 No, I don't.
00:46:58 Oh, speaking of which,
00:47:00 Yeah, that's the thing.
00:47:05 Jeez, he doesn't waste
00:47:09 Wait a minute...
00:47:11 Well, I'm kinda leaning
00:47:15 Not again.
00:47:17 - It's different this time.
00:47:20 Because I'm going to wait to
00:47:23 Good... wait.
00:47:24 - Until after we go
00:47:29 A week? You're going to wait one week?
00:47:31 A week is long...
00:47:35 - ish.
00:47:36 Oh my God.
00:47:38 - No. I know.
00:47:41 - No, it's his birthday tonight.
00:47:43 And so I'm thinking, you know,
00:47:46 - like...
00:47:49 Oh my God!
00:47:52 Okay, well, then
00:47:55 - Yeah.
00:47:56 - Let's open that.
00:47:58 'cause we're both
00:48:11 Damn near killed her!
00:48:13 - We need to talk.
00:48:16 How can you think about olives
00:48:18 Well, what am I supposed to put
00:48:21 Just shut up and come
00:48:24 Okay.
00:48:25 Have a cocktail.
00:48:28 See? They even go
00:48:31 Let me ask you one thing:
00:48:33 No, I guess not.
00:48:35 No, of course not, because they,
00:48:38 - A couple monster?
00:48:41 they go to the gym together;
00:48:43 they commute together.
00:48:47 not an office; a cubicle.
00:48:51 And the sick part
00:48:53 because they spend
00:48:55 they have absolutely nothing
00:48:57 nothing to keep them from
00:49:01 - That's why they latch.
00:49:03 Back when I knew them, they spent
00:49:06 um, Amy. Amy was like
00:49:09 She was their third wheel.
00:49:10 She was the one they
00:49:13 She was the one
00:49:14 all their weird fuck tension onto
00:49:16 - So what happened to Amy?
00:49:18 She got wise, got out. Maybe they
00:49:21 But the important thing is, dude,
00:49:25 And from what
00:49:28 about them trying to screw up
00:49:30 I didn't say that they were trying.
00:49:33 Think about it:
00:49:34 If you end up with Leslie,
00:49:36 They are clearly not
00:49:39 And let me tell you
00:49:41 If I wanted to make you
00:49:42 in front of a potential girlfriend,
00:49:44 this is pretty much exactly
00:49:52 Happy birthday, Amy.
00:50:04 And that's when
00:50:06 to sabotage my relationship
00:50:08 I don't know, man.
00:50:10 Sounds like they were just maybe
00:50:12 like they said they would do.
00:50:14 You're listening to Ted?
00:50:17 Plus you planned
00:50:20 That's a pretty douchey move.
00:50:22 Hey, whose side are
00:50:24 Right now?
00:50:26 Don't answer that until
00:50:29 Well, thanks again for
00:50:32 Have fun, you two.
00:50:35 Yeah, get home
00:50:46 Well, that was some party.
00:50:50 Mmm.
00:50:55 Well, gosh,
00:50:58 Wasn't that fun?
00:50:59 Tables are inside;
00:51:03 Say, Leslie, do you need
00:51:06 It doesn't matter how far it is.
00:51:08 Oh, I think I'm gonna
00:51:10 Wonderful!
00:51:12 You know, we need to make sure
00:51:16 the four of us just hosting
00:51:18 - Mm-hmm.
00:51:20 Oh, we heard the big news and
00:51:23 I mean, this place is plenty
00:51:26 - When you moving in, Lisa?
00:51:29 - God damn it.
00:51:31 Hold on, guys. There's some stuff
00:51:33 - What stuff?
00:51:36 I mean, I'm assuming
00:51:38 go in a fourth on rent and utilities,
00:51:42 And besides that, what is there
00:51:44 Look, this is not how
00:51:47 Mmm, why not?
00:51:48 How did you want it
00:51:50 Were you gonna
00:51:52 Or maybe you were
00:51:56 Can we just talk about this
00:51:58 Scotty Dog, you seem
00:52:00 Are you sure you're okay?
00:52:02 Darling, I think maybe we should discuss
00:52:05 You know, honey,
00:52:07 - Yeah?
00:52:09 - Let's go.
00:52:24 I'm so sorry that happened.
00:52:26 No, I'm sorry.
00:52:28 and she must have said
00:52:30 without realizing it was...
00:52:32 whatever it was.
00:52:35 I'll talk to them
00:52:39 Oh, that's it, Farmer Jack.
00:52:42 Oh, shit.
00:52:45 - Oh!
00:52:48 - Mmm!
00:52:49 - Ryan? Hey hey, Ryan!
00:52:52 Mary, listen to me.
00:52:54 I beg you, while Leslie's here,
00:52:57 - Please...
00:53:00 - Sounds like... how many syllables?
00:53:02 Please don't have sex
00:53:04 - What?
00:53:06 Because the sound...
00:53:09 it's... it's insane,
00:53:11 both in the volume
00:53:14 Scott,
00:53:16 have you been listening to us
00:53:20 Shh! No, I haven't been listening.
00:53:23 How many times, Scott?
00:53:25 Every.
00:53:27 All right? I turn my music up,
00:53:30 This is creepy.
00:53:32 that you were eavesdropping
00:53:36 I know what you're trying to do.
00:53:39 - Leslie!
00:53:40 - It is.
00:53:42 We are not trying to
00:53:45 We are just trying to
00:53:47 Like we said we would, pal.
00:53:49 No rushing, remember? Huh?
00:53:51 - That deal is off.
00:53:54 No one wants to see it
00:53:56 more than Ryan and I, but you are
00:53:59 What... what am I screwing up?
00:54:00 You asked her to move in with you
00:54:03 - Two!
00:54:04 Couldn't scare her away any faster
00:54:07 a Nazi sympathizer who's into
00:54:10 - Or a chronic masturbator.
00:54:14 - Into she-males!
00:54:15 - Bukaki.
00:54:17 Ahhh!
00:54:23 Ooh!
00:54:25 It was
00:54:27 This is for my own good.
00:54:30 Ahhh!
00:54:34 - I got you. Just get...
00:54:38 How dare you, sir?
00:54:43 - Oh, I got you.
00:54:45 Don't let him go!
00:54:47 Ahh!
00:54:50 - Scott!
00:54:53 - Oh, shit.
00:54:55 Oh, God,
00:54:59 Oh, it is never
00:55:01 - Let me tell you.
00:55:03 that this probably looks
00:55:05 Yeah, but you know,
00:55:07 - Tomfoolery.
00:55:08 - Rough-housing.
00:55:11 no big biggie.
00:55:13 No, thanks.
00:55:17 I'm gonna go.
00:55:18 It was great
00:55:20 - See you soon, roomie.
00:55:23 That's okay.
00:55:24 I know this looks insane,
00:55:27 - Just playing around.
00:55:31 - You're delicious.
00:55:33 We're still on for
00:55:35 - You're like a cupcake!
00:55:38 Listen, Leslie, this is not me.
00:55:42 Just please give me one more chance
00:55:45 - just me.
00:55:47 I'll see you at the wedding.
00:55:49 You want
00:55:51 Let's just stick with the wedding.
00:55:55 going on with your roommates that
00:55:57 I know, I will. Promise.
00:55:59 - Okay.
00:56:01 Bye.
00:56:03 Come on! Yeah!
00:56:08 - Harder!
00:56:10 - Oh! Hi!
00:56:12 Great party, isn't it?
00:56:15 You two are sick.
00:56:17 I want you out of this apartment.
00:56:19 - Really?
00:56:27 I didn't see them at all
00:56:30 I assumed they'd just
00:56:33 Well, did they?
00:56:35 Does herpes?
00:56:39 No.
00:57:14 What the fuck
00:57:19 Who invited that guy?
00:57:21 Who says "fuck" in church?
00:57:26 It's fine.
00:57:29 Okay.
00:57:30 - Yeah, go.
00:57:31 - Okay. Sorry.
00:57:34 It's fine, right?
00:57:35 Well, that was
00:57:39 Aside from your little outburst,
00:57:42 Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
00:57:43 I just couldn't believe they had
00:57:47 - Who?
00:57:50 I did the guest list with Nerissa.
00:57:53 Yeah, like that would stop them.
00:57:56 - Who?
00:57:58 Okay, I have to
00:58:01 Just stay here and try to be...
00:58:05 sane-ish.
00:58:23 # I can't wait... #
00:58:27 Aha!
00:58:31 Making out.
00:58:34 Weddings make me
00:58:36 Of course! Everything makes you horny.
00:58:38 You were not invited.
00:58:40 That is never gonna stop us from
00:58:44 Friendship does not wait for
00:58:47 And besides,
00:58:55 This contract...
00:58:59 is null and void,
00:59:02 - Unappreciative asshole!
00:59:28 Scott, what are you doing?
00:59:31 Leslie, I didn't bring this gift
00:59:35 Why would that be?
00:59:39 You see, Ryan and Mary
00:59:41 placed this gift
00:59:43 to set me up to
00:59:45 How does the gift
00:59:47 See, it's not a gift.
00:59:49 It's a trap. It's probably a box
00:59:52 or dogshit or angry bees.
00:59:55 - I have to get rid of it.
00:59:58 - No, I...
00:59:59 any reason you're absconding
01:00:02 I... I'm sorry, but this
01:00:05 I assure you, it is.
01:00:06 - Scott?
01:00:10 - Okay, Scott, you're making a scene.
01:00:13 - a ridiculously expensive...
01:00:16 - Give him the gift. Give him the gift!
01:00:18 - I remember placing it on that table...
01:00:21 - An hour ago!
01:00:22 make a complete ass of yourself
01:00:25 Oh, we're way beyond
01:00:29 - Leslie!
01:00:35 Oh my God.
01:00:37 What the fuck?
01:00:39 Oh!
01:00:41 Leslie, come on.
01:00:44 - The... I'm not usually like this.
01:00:47 Normal, I swear.
01:00:49 This is Ryan and Mary, okay?
01:00:52 - They're trying to keep us apart.
01:00:55 Because they need me.
01:00:57 They need a third wheel
01:00:59 That's why they keep trying
01:01:01 so they can have me
01:01:02 And how did you come up
01:01:06 Actually, Ted said it.
01:01:08 You're going to take anything
01:01:11 But it makes sense.
01:01:14 from rushing into
01:01:16 But we were rushing.
01:01:18 I mean, the fact that we were even
01:01:21 after a couple of nice dates...
01:01:23 I mean, I was willing
01:01:26 - because I...
01:01:28 Why are you speaking in
01:01:31 Because I don't know you, Scott.
01:01:33 I don't know you at all.
01:01:35 - But it's Ryan and Mary...
01:02:03 Leslie won't return
01:02:05 I haven't been back
01:02:08 They're probably up there
01:02:12 - Jackals!
01:02:15 - What point?
01:02:18 - Leslie!
01:02:21 Maybe they really thought
01:02:24 I mean, sure, they're a little strange,
01:02:26 their hearts were
01:02:28 Have you heard a word
01:02:31 Have you?
01:02:35 "Have you"!
01:02:54 Oh!
01:03:00 Oh, golly,
01:03:03 Yeah, what lousy friends
01:03:06 Of course, you know all about
01:03:09 Me?
01:03:10 After everything we've been through...
01:03:13 We helped you rebound, man.
01:03:15 We were just trying to help you like
01:03:19 and you treated us
01:03:22 like... like we are a couple of raging
01:03:28 I'm sorry.
01:03:33 Just put your keys
01:03:42 Both of them.
01:03:43 We only had the one.
01:03:46 Of course.
01:03:48 Why would you need two?
01:03:54 You'll be happy to know we'll
01:03:57 - Super.
01:04:10 "We will not..."
01:04:13 I want you to sign this contract.
01:04:15 You said that I will not
01:04:17 I want to make it official.
01:04:25 There, prick.
01:04:27 Thanks, bitch.
01:04:33 - Choke on it, ass.
01:04:35 We have a contract.
01:04:39 Ryan?
01:04:41 It is a tragedy
01:04:43 'cause we can't tell him
01:04:46 That is a shame.
01:04:49 - I heard the same thing.
01:04:52 Oh!
01:04:55 No no, there's something that
01:05:00 Fine!
01:05:04 Now tell me.
01:05:07 We overheard Leslie
01:05:10 - after you left.
01:05:12 - Duh.
01:05:14 Come on.
01:05:16 She said she needed to
01:05:19 And she decided...
01:05:23 to go work with her sister.
01:05:25 - Where?
01:05:27 you have to promise
01:05:30 Fine, I forgive you.
01:05:32 - Now tell me.
01:05:42 I got it.
01:05:44 you acknowledge that we have acted
01:05:48 Fine. Fine.
01:05:50 And that we really do care
01:05:54 Okay, yes. Whatever.
01:05:55 And if you go after Leslie,
01:06:00 No no no!
01:06:01 Dude, your piece-of-shit car
01:06:05 And company.
01:06:09 - Huh?
01:06:11 And trust me, traveling alone
01:06:16 Hmm.
01:06:17 Suit yourself.
01:06:20 It just would have been such
01:06:23 for Ryan and me
01:06:25 that we caused all of this
01:06:28 but, hey, we don't...
01:06:30 Seriously?
01:06:32 - Yeah.
01:06:35 That means no loose ends;
01:06:38 - We seek closure, nothing more.
01:06:41 Huh?
01:06:42 Okay, we'll go together.
01:06:45 Just whatever...
01:06:47 Just tell me where she is.
01:06:49 Okay, I'm gonna need you to sign here
01:06:53 That one too.
01:06:55 - Good eye.
01:06:56 You guys are sick.
01:06:59 Okay. Now...
01:07:02 tell me where she is.
01:07:04 She went to work for
01:07:07 Okay, where in Oregon?
01:07:09 You're gonna find out
01:07:11 - Wiki-wiki road trip!
01:07:13 Blau!
01:07:16 # The love we have #
01:07:18 # Will never fade away #
01:07:23 # If ever two hearts were
01:07:27 # Forever in love #
01:07:29 # It's you and me #
01:07:32 # Every Ionely heart #
01:07:34 # Every Ionely moment #
01:07:36 # Feels like eternity #
01:07:38 # Ah oooh #
01:07:40 - # The life we... #
01:07:41 - You're tailgating.
01:07:44 Please back up, dear.
01:07:46 Damn it, woman,
01:07:48 - Assrod.
01:07:50 - Nancy boy.
01:07:53 - Fartknocker.
01:07:54 Fuckstick!
01:07:55 I fucking love
01:07:58 - I do too. It's amazing!
01:08:00 Scott, what's the plan
01:08:02 I don't really have a plan;
01:08:05 Scotty, you gotta
01:08:08 We made a plan a long time ago;
01:08:11 How do you think we've been
01:08:13 Just because you've done
01:08:15 doesn't mean you're doing it well.
01:08:17 Yeah, look at the Clippers.
01:08:20 - Burn, right?
01:08:22 I was talking about the Clippers.
01:08:24 Ryan, pull off here.
01:08:28 Dude, we're, like,
01:08:29 If we stop now, it's gonna take us
01:08:32 I know.
01:08:34 I've got a plan.
01:08:36 Ho ho, you've got
01:08:38 - All right, Mr. Plan.
01:08:44 - Room service.
01:09:01 Ow! We were thinking
01:09:04 since we're on vacation,
01:09:06 maybe we should get
01:09:08 I'll go, but only with Ryan.
01:09:11 - What?
01:09:13 I want to go out for a beer,
01:09:15 Well, do I smell funny
01:09:18 Tonight I'll go out with Ryan;
01:09:23 alone.
01:09:24 Why?
01:09:26 Because couples do things
01:09:28 Well, did you ever think
01:09:31 that maybe we just enjoy each other's
01:09:34 Most couples spend a good
01:09:36 sick of each other's face.
01:09:38 That's just part of
01:09:40 Ha! Ha, hmm.
01:09:42 That is not a part
01:09:46 but I do want that drink.
01:09:49 You...
01:09:57 Well, what do I do?
01:09:59 # I got a stripper pole
01:10:02 # And I like the way
01:10:05 # What you tryin' to do,
01:10:08 # Oh, I can tell that
01:10:11 # If you think that
01:10:13 # I'm trying... #
01:10:15 I never really took you
01:10:17 Oh, no, I've never been
01:10:23 Oh, 11.
01:10:26 11 what?
01:10:28 11 breasts I've seen.
01:10:32 You've only seen
01:10:33 I mean, you know, in real life.
01:10:37 and magazines.
01:10:40 Oh... 13.
01:10:42 - Two.
01:10:45 I saw one of my grandma's
01:10:48 I wish I hadn't asked.
01:10:49 Nana; Mary, naturally;
01:10:52 uh, Wendy Harper; Tracy Price;
01:10:55 Theresa What's-her-name;
01:10:58 and these strippers, yeah.
01:11:01 14!
01:11:03 And these other girls were, what?
01:11:05 No. No, Mary's the only girl
01:11:08 Uh, they were girls Mary and I
01:11:10 - You've had three three-ways?
01:11:12 Seven?
01:11:16 I should have known.
01:11:18 Oh, thank God you're here!
01:11:19 Oh, I see you're already out looking
01:11:23 - Mary, come on.
01:11:25 Look, Ryan's not scamming.
01:11:27 And trust me, this is not the kind of
01:11:32 I turn my back for one second
01:11:34 and you are out philandering
01:11:37 - I am not a prude, Ryan.
01:11:40 Excuse me, Scott, but this...
01:11:43 this is beyond
01:11:46 Simply beyond the pale!
01:11:48 Mary, look, okay?
01:11:51 but you have to leave. You have to
01:11:54 Well, how can I trust him
01:11:56 - when he's sporting a chubby?
01:11:58 Mary, come on!
01:12:00 Come on what?
01:12:02 You want me to act like it's no big deal
01:12:04 - It is a big deal.
01:12:07 All right?
01:12:09 Uh-huh.
01:12:11 - I promise.
01:12:14 as you can see, I am
01:12:17 We all are, Ryan.
01:12:29 Don't wait up for us, Ryan.
01:12:32 I was...
01:12:35 I was just trying to...
01:12:39 If you guys see
01:12:43 just...
01:12:45 give that to me.
01:12:47 Okay.
01:12:49 I'm gonna go.
01:12:52 Okay, have fun.
01:12:55 # Let's fall in love #
01:13:00 # Let's fall in love #
01:13:04 # Everything I see around #
01:13:07 # Reminds me of... #
01:13:09 My God, this place is
01:13:11 for choosing a partner
01:13:13 I am getting hepatitis
01:13:15 That's the spirit.
01:13:17 Look, I want you to have a conversation
01:13:21 - Why?
01:13:24 I want to see how you talk
01:13:26 Scott, this is silly.
01:13:29 Hey, there, pretty lady.
01:13:32 Can I buy you a drink?
01:13:34 Scott?
01:13:41 Could you just give us
01:13:44 Sure.
01:13:45 You have to get rid of him!
01:13:48 So? He's not going to.
01:13:50 It's not like you're tempted to
01:13:51 I'm tempted to
01:13:55 I'd fuck him;
01:13:57 I'd fuck the guy air-guitaring
01:13:59 I'd fuck everybody I could
01:14:01 because I just want the chance
01:14:03 This is the reason I cannot be
01:14:06 at all times.
01:14:07 Just once I want to be with another guy
01:14:11 Can you understand that?
01:14:14 over and over and over
01:14:18 Wow.
01:14:20 That was frank.
01:14:24 She's gonna take a rain check
01:14:26 Thanks, though.
01:14:32 Watch it. I...
01:14:38 - I'm gonna need another.
01:14:41 Excuse me?
01:14:43 All I'm saying is that...
01:14:45 both of you clearly
01:14:47 that you're not addressing
01:14:49 But what happens if we address them
01:14:52 Look, relationships take work...
01:14:56 You can't just pretend
01:14:59 so you don't have to
01:15:01 You have to be brutally
01:15:03 Doesn't that hurt?
01:15:05 It can.
01:15:07 Love hurts,
01:15:09 And that's why I'm chasing
01:15:12 who probably won't
01:15:14 Because if there's even the slightest
01:15:17 I have to risk it.
01:15:19 We can't play it safe
01:15:21 That's what it is with Ryan and me,
01:15:25 We play it too safe.
01:15:27 that we don't deal with it.
01:15:29 - Anuptaphobia.
01:15:32 Why'd you do this?
01:15:36 - Do what?
01:15:39 our relationship.
01:15:41 Well, at first it was
01:15:44 the only way I was going to get
01:15:47 was if you got
01:15:49 actually I like you guys a lot,
01:15:52 and I want you
01:15:56 You're a good friend, Scott.
01:16:01 - Um, about the ménage thing...
01:16:04 I don't know if you two
01:16:07 you know, me in that way...
01:16:09 Oh, no! Never.
01:16:12 Okay, good, because
01:16:14 - a little weird.
01:16:19 Any particular reason why not?
01:16:38 Well, this is it.
01:16:41 This is where Leslie is.
01:16:43 Are you ready?
01:16:45 - Not in the least.
01:17:06 Okay, dude,
01:17:07 no more skateboarding
01:17:10 If I have to fix your butt again,
01:17:13 Capisce?
01:17:16 Okay, now get out of here.
01:17:26 Hi.
01:17:29 Hi.
01:17:31 What are you doing here?
01:17:32 I wanted to clear some things up.
01:17:35 Can we talk?
01:17:36 Uh, okay.
01:17:39 Okay.
01:17:40 But just not here. Just...
01:17:49 I've never been stalked before,
01:17:51 so if you can give me, like,
01:17:54 'cause I only have
01:17:56 I'm not stalking you.
01:17:59 There you are! Hi!
01:18:01 There's nothing creepy
01:18:04 - Hi.
01:18:06 Um, Mary and I just...
01:18:09 wanted to make it clear
01:18:11 that we did do everything
01:18:14 We thought we could control
01:18:18 take away the risk
01:18:20 Thank you guys.
01:18:23 Just like we've been trying to do in
01:18:26 - But you can't do that.
01:18:28 Nobody can.
01:18:30 A wise man once said to me,
01:18:33 "Love is all about
01:18:37 - So...
01:18:39 Mary and I...
01:18:43 To split up.
01:18:44 - Just for a while.
01:18:47 to see if we're really meant
01:18:49 So if we can take a chance...
01:18:52 Maybe you guys
01:18:54 It was really great
01:18:57 and we are sorry
01:19:00 But I have a hunch you two
01:19:06 Hasta lasagna.
01:19:12 So you're not a total psycho,
01:19:16 but your friends are?
01:19:17 Yeah, something like that.
01:19:23 Can I buy you lunch?
01:19:26 I am pretty hungry...
01:19:29 and broke.
01:19:32 So yeah, okay.
01:19:34 But this does not mean
01:19:38 - Right.
01:19:40 and we're not even
01:19:42 and we have to completely start over
01:19:44 very very very beginning,
01:19:47 That's exactly what
01:19:50 Okay.
01:19:52 Okay.
01:19:54 - I'm glad we talked.
01:20:07 Hey!
01:20:14 And the Oscar goes to...
01:20:17 Oh, you were fantastic.
01:20:20 No, you were fantastic
01:20:22 and they totally bought it.
01:20:24 Well, love is all about
01:20:28 even if it hurts.
01:20:30 Give me a fucking break!
01:20:33 "Oh, we're gonna break up. We're just
01:20:36 A little trial break-up thing..."
01:20:37 "Just to see if we really are meant
01:20:42 Oh my God.
01:20:44 - Oh.
01:20:53 # Well, I live in Los Angeles #
01:20:56 # She said, "You drive in
01:21:01 # Man, you can't hear
01:21:05 # From downtown #
01:21:09 # From downtown #
01:21:13 - # From downtown #
01:21:17 # Couple nights
01:21:20 # She says "See the fire burn
01:21:24 # Under lines of
01:21:30 # From downtown #
01:21:34 # From downtown #
01:21:38 - # From downtown #
01:21:41 # I got too much of the city #
01:21:44 # Of my Los Angeles #
01:21:54 # Well, I live in Los Angeles #
01:21:57 # Yeah, well, I live
01:22:00 # You know that
01:22:05 # Well, I live in Los Angeles #
01:22:10 # Well, I live in Los Angeles #
01:22:13 # Yeah, well,
01:22:16 # Downtown #
01:22:17 # You know that
01:22:19 # Downtown #
01:22:21 # Well, I live in Los Angeles #
01:22:32 - # From downtown #
01:22:35 # Downtown #
01:22:36 - # From downtown #
01:22:39 # Downtown #
01:22:40 - # From downtown #
01:22:44 # Well, I live in Los Angeles #
01:22:48 # From downtown #
01:22:52 # From downtown #
01:22:56 # From downtown #
01:22:59 # I've got too much
01:23:02 - # Of my Los Angeles #
01:23:10 # Yeah, I live in Los Angeles #
01:23:13 # Yeah, well,
01:23:17 # You know that
01:23:21 # Yeah, well,
01:23:24 # Les. #