|
Ten Inch Hero
|
| 00:00:01 |
SUBBED |
| 00:00:01 |
BY |
| 00:00:01 |
blOOdyLee |
| 00:02:01 |
No, man... don't come in the morning, |
| 00:02:05 |
'Cause that's when the morning's swell |
| 00:02:10 |
All right... just bring it around the back then. |
| 00:02:22 |
I'm not normal. |
| 00:02:24 |
Clearly! |
| 00:02:25 |
I need a job. |
| 00:02:30 |
It's yours. |
| 00:02:31 |
Hang on, Trucker. You said hiring was |
| 00:02:34 |
Yeah, that's the way I heard it. |
| 00:02:38 |
Okay... all those in favor of hiring... |
| 00:02:41 |
Piper. |
| 00:02:42 |
...Piper, put your hands up. |
| 00:02:46 |
Hey, what about an interview? |
| 00:02:47 |
Oh, that's fine. |
| 00:02:49 |
Okay, uh... lemme think... |
| 00:02:52 |
Elvis. Dead or alive? |
| 00:02:54 |
Dead. |
| 00:02:55 |
Andy Kauffman? |
| 00:02:56 |
Dead. |
| 00:02:57 |
Jerry Garcia? |
| 00:02:58 |
Grateful. And dead. |
| 00:03:00 |
Mariah Carey? |
| 00:03:01 |
Are we talkin' about her acting career, or...? |
| 00:03:04 |
No. |
| 00:03:05 |
Okay. Then... alive. |
| 00:03:07 |
Why did you come to Santa Cruz? |
| 00:03:10 |
I... have family here. |
| 00:03:12 |
Are you a virgin? |
| 00:03:13 |
Mr. Julius! |
| 00:03:16 |
No. But I used to be. |
| 00:03:19 |
You're not a witch, by any chance? |
| 00:03:21 |
Is that a job requirement? |
| 00:03:23 |
Trucker's blazin' for the woman who owns |
| 00:03:27 |
He thinks she's wiccan. |
| 00:03:28 |
Yeah, they're soulmates, except she's |
| 00:03:31 |
Okay everybody, time to vote. |
| 00:03:58 |
Okay, time for a lil' homework. |
| 00:04:00 |
Then can we go to the craft store? |
| 00:04:11 |
Everybody relax! |
| 00:04:19 |
I'm here. |
| 00:04:20 |
Oh, and so close to almost on time. |
| 00:04:24 |
C'mon, once I start showing up on time, |
| 00:04:28 |
He works here? |
| 00:04:30 |
Well... he's employed here. |
| 00:04:35 |
What's up? |
| 00:04:38 |
Don't pay attention to him. |
| 00:04:39 |
Okay, today's topic of conversation: clueless men |
| 00:04:51 |
Who are you? |
| 00:04:53 |
Piper. |
| 00:04:54 |
Piper... what are you doing here, Piper? |
| 00:04:56 |
I work here. |
| 00:04:58 |
Why wasn't I notified? |
| 00:05:00 |
Hey, Priestly! We hired someone. |
| 00:05:03 |
Thank you. |
| 00:05:04 |
I swear, we need like a bulletin board or |
| 00:05:08 |
You know, Priestly? |
| 00:05:11 |
Really? |
| 00:05:13 |
And now you hire people who fail the interview? |
| 00:05:16 |
C'mon, man! |
| 00:05:18 |
I don't know. I mean, you're cute and everything, but... |
| 00:05:21 |
But what? C'mon, Tish. |
| 00:05:23 |
- It's just... |
| 00:05:28 |
- I don't really like sex. |
| 00:05:31 |
- How can you not like- |
| 00:05:35 |
you know... |
| 00:05:36 |
Woah! Never? |
| 00:05:40 |
Well, obviously you haven't been with the right guy. |
| 00:05:46 |
My God, does that really work? |
| 00:05:48 |
Every time. |
| 00:05:50 |
Are you kiddin' me? It's men's greatest challenge. |
| 00:05:52 |
Tish is the scorpion queen. |
| 00:05:54 |
See ya tonight! |
| 00:06:01 |
Damn! |
| 00:06:04 |
Well? Another comrade used and discarded. Huh, Tish? |
| 00:06:08 |
You know, I gotta be honest with you, Tish... |
| 00:06:09 |
I've never been really comfortable |
| 00:06:12 |
I mean there should be some sort of... |
| 00:06:14 |
If men are that easy to manipulate, |
| 00:06:16 |
they deserve to be taken advantage of. |
| 00:06:19 |
I'm easy to manipulate. |
| 00:06:24 |
I think we can all guess the answer to that. |
| 00:06:47 |
Is that the crystal lady? |
| 00:06:49 |
Oh yeah, that's Zo. |
| 00:06:50 |
Zo? |
| 00:06:51 |
Yeah, it's short for Zoheret. |
| 00:06:53 |
It means "she shines" in hebrew. |
| 00:06:59 |
You see? She knows things. |
| 00:07:01 |
She seems nice, Trucker. |
| 00:07:57 |
So, I... 'll give you a call later? |
| 00:08:00 |
Yeah, uhm... sure. |
| 00:08:15 |
Oh, look! She can still walk. |
| 00:08:19 |
All right, let's hear it. What were his grades? |
| 00:08:22 |
"A" for effort, "C" for execution. |
| 00:08:26 |
Natural gift? |
| 00:08:28 |
Didn't even register. |
| 00:08:30 |
That bad, huh? |
| 00:08:31 |
That bad, and... he knows it. |
| 00:08:35 |
Well, did you at least tell him that size doesn't matter? |
| 00:08:37 |
Yeah, sure, I told him. |
| 00:08:39 |
You don't actually think guys believe that, do you? |
| 00:08:47 |
Hey Piper, what's in the case? |
| 00:08:49 |
Oh... this is my art stuff. |
| 00:08:52 |
Are you an artist? |
| 00:08:53 |
Oh, that's cool! Do you paint, like, controversial shit? |
| 00:08:56 |
Like, people pissing on the Pope or something? |
| 00:08:58 |
- Oh! |
| 00:09:00 |
Well then, what the hell is it? |
| 00:09:02 |
Well, that's like that, you know... |
| 00:09:06 |
People have done it so often they expect it. Now... |
| 00:09:08 |
paint someone pissing on Martin Luther King |
| 00:09:10 |
Or... Martin Luther King pissing on the Pope! |
| 00:09:12 |
That's controversial. |
| 00:09:14 |
Yeah... or, the Pope pissing on Martin Luther King? |
| 00:09:16 |
Or Martin Lawrence? 'Cause that would be really- |
| 00:09:18 |
Okay, guys? Guys! I don't paint anyone |
| 00:09:22 |
Yeah, no... it was just an idea, you know. I'm just saying, |
| 00:09:28 |
Hey, Trucker! |
| 00:09:32 |
Right! Piper, why don't you decorate our wall for us? |
| 00:09:37 |
- Really? |
| 00:09:40 |
Well... what should I paint? |
| 00:09:43 |
It's yours. Go for it! |
| 00:09:45 |
You don't have to paint anyone pissing on anyone. |
| 00:09:48 |
- I... I mean, unless you want to. |
| 00:09:52 |
This was in my mail by mistake. |
| 00:10:03 |
Hi Piper, nice to meet you. |
| 00:10:06 |
Hi. |
| 00:10:08 |
Wait wait wait wait... how... |
| 00:10:10 |
She just feels like "Piper". |
| 00:10:17 |
Zo, before you leave, can I make you a sandwich? |
| 00:10:19 |
The roast turkey is really good. |
| 00:10:21 |
Thank you, but I don't eat anyhting that had a mother. |
| 00:10:23 |
Oh! Okay, uhm.... |
| 00:10:25 |
Egg salad then? |
| 00:10:27 |
Well... eggs are really a chicken abortion, aren't they? |
| 00:10:30 |
I mean, I support a woman's right to choose, |
| 00:10:33 |
...but I don't believe anyone asked the chickens beforehand. |
| 00:10:36 |
Right on! |
| 00:10:38 |
Well, actually... since farmers don't keep roosters... |
| 00:10:41 |
the eggs aren't fertilized, so... |
| 00:10:42 |
technically you're just eating a by-product |
| 00:10:45 |
Well, that's certainly appetizing! |
| 00:10:52 |
I think I'll just stick to the 6-inch tofurkey. |
| 00:10:55 |
- 6-inch tofurkey. |
| 00:11:00 |
Hmm... what's this? |
| 00:11:02 |
Oh, I made a website for Trucker. |
| 00:11:05 |
so that people just e-mail me their orders |
| 00:11:08 |
That's cool! |
| 00:11:10 |
Yeah, and this way Jen's online in case |
| 00:11:13 |
Who's Fuzzy? |
| 00:11:14 |
He's just an online friend. |
| 00:11:17 |
Oh, I... hope he's a guy. |
| 00:11:20 |
We agreed not to exchange any identifying information. |
| 00:11:23 |
So, basically he could be Charles Manson with a laptop. |
| 00:11:25 |
Bingo! |
| 00:11:27 |
No, Fuzzy is good. |
| 00:11:32 |
Yeah, I sense something. |
| 00:11:36 |
What? Maybe I do. |
| 00:11:40 |
Just follow where your soul leads, Jen. |
| 00:11:44 |
Thank you. |
| 00:11:45 |
Bye, Trucker. |
| 00:11:53 |
Bye. |
| 00:11:57 |
Did I say anything stupid? |
| 00:12:02 |
Doesn't it worry you? |
| 00:12:05 |
or her... or even it! |
| 00:12:08 |
You know, he's just somebody I can talk to. |
| 00:12:12 |
And I know it's crazy, but... I feel really close to him. |
| 00:12:16 |
Do you think he's your soulmate? |
| 00:12:18 |
Would that be so bad? |
| 00:12:19 |
No, but... |
| 00:12:22 |
...what happens when "it" wants to meet? |
| 00:12:26 |
Well, we've been e-mailing for almost a year, |
| 00:12:28 |
A year?! |
| 00:12:30 |
Jen, what do you guys talk about if |
| 00:12:33 |
Everything else? |
| 00:12:35 |
I mean, we talk about music, and books, |
| 00:12:39 |
his dog, my cat... |
| 00:12:41 |
You know, I just told him that I started working |
| 00:12:46 |
Well, let's not get carried away. |
| 00:12:50 |
God, it must be such a trip to look at the ocean |
| 00:12:55 |
Are your parents artistic? |
| 00:12:57 |
Yeah, my mom's really good. |
| 00:12:59 |
So maybe you'll have a super-talented kid one day. |
| 00:13:07 |
I already do. |
| 00:13:11 |
I was 15. |
| 00:13:13 |
I had... four younger brothers. |
| 00:13:17 |
God, one of them was still in diapers. |
| 00:13:19 |
There was no way my mom was gonna let me keep her. |
| 00:13:22 |
Never met the couple, but... |
| 00:13:27 |
She said their names were Lisa and Noah, and... |
| 00:13:30 |
that they wanted to name her Julia. |
| 00:13:34 |
She asked if that was okay with me. |
| 00:13:39 |
I thought that was really considerate, you know? |
| 00:13:45 |
She promised to stay in touch, |
| 00:13:46 |
to send pictures... |
| 00:13:48 |
That's nice. |
| 00:13:50 |
And she did, for about two years. |
| 00:13:54 |
Then it just stopped. |
| 00:13:57 |
The last pictures I saw were of |
| 00:14:00 |
Just like that? |
| 00:14:03 |
Nothing for... six years... |
| 00:14:09 |
Then I saw this! |
| 00:14:12 |
I was reading this article about gifted kids... |
| 00:14:15 |
In the back they have some pictures of |
| 00:14:18 |
There she is. |
| 00:14:20 |
Okay, I mean... she kinda looks like you and... |
| 00:14:25 |
Jen, I'm not whacked. |
| 00:14:28 |
- Julia! Julia Miller! And, she's artistic. |
| 00:14:31 |
So I got on the Net and I looked up |
| 00:14:34 |
and there was a million of them, but |
| 00:14:38 |
That was the husband's name. |
| 00:14:40 |
So, I waited until the middle of the day, |
| 00:14:42 |
and I got the voice mail, and... they were on it. |
| 00:14:46 |
"This is Noah... and Julia." |
| 00:14:49 |
Like that. |
| 00:14:52 |
Jen, it's them. |
| 00:14:55 |
What are you gonna do? |
| 00:14:58 |
I don't know. |
| 00:15:00 |
Some days it's enough to know |
| 00:15:05 |
other days... |
| 00:15:19 |
So... what kind of tricks do you have in mind? |
| 00:15:21 |
Well, you'll see tonight. |
| 00:15:26 |
Woodstock, you know, it was just beautiful. |
| 00:15:29 |
It was all about peace, and free love, and music- |
| 00:15:32 |
And draft orgy. Drugs. Irresponsibility. Freak! |
| 00:15:36 |
Oh, mister J... don't be a buzzkiller! |
| 00:15:53 |
Hi. |
| 00:16:02 |
It's beautiful. |
| 00:16:04 |
Thank you. |
| 00:16:06 |
- You hungry? |
| 00:16:25 |
Oh... no. Thank you for the rock. |
| 00:16:41 |
Oh no, don't even think about it. |
| 00:16:46 |
Thank you, Trucker. |
| 00:16:49 |
Okay, so anyway, they do you wrong about the drugs... |
| 00:16:52 |
And I wish I was alive back then! |
| 00:16:53 |
I mean, it's just my luck to hit my sexual peak |
| 00:16:55 |
when celibacy is cool, and... |
| 00:16:59 |
I should've peaked 40 years ago! |
| 00:17:01 |
What difference would that have made? |
| 00:17:03 |
I mean, you still wouldn't get laid, |
| 00:17:06 |
The only difference would be, |
| 00:17:09 |
She does have a point, Priestly. |
| 00:17:11 |
But, at least here you have company. |
| 00:17:13 |
No one's getting much, except for... Tish. |
| 00:17:16 |
- I'm excited about tonight. Oh, what time? |
| 00:17:20 |
- Bye. |
| 00:17:28 |
Oh, don't even start with me! |
| 00:17:29 |
If men are that easy to out finesse, |
| 00:17:31 |
Hey, I'm easy! Don't I deserve it? |
| 00:17:34 |
Well, Priestly, see, your problem is |
| 00:17:37 |
You know, you just gotta raise your expectations, man! |
| 00:17:39 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:17:40 |
Well, really good looking women, they're high maintainance. |
| 00:17:44 |
completely worthless between the sheets. |
| 00:17:46 |
Seriously? |
| 00:17:47 |
God's truth. |
| 00:17:48 |
Certainly been my experience. |
| 00:17:50 |
Oh, pff... you guys are pathetic. |
| 00:17:52 |
- All right. Take Tish, for example. |
| 00:17:54 |
Men are so pumped to be with a body like hers, |
| 00:17:57 |
that all she's gotta do is just lay back |
| 00:18:00 |
That way she's never gonna develop any skills in bed. |
| 00:18:02 |
I second that! |
| 00:18:03 |
Hey, I work hard! |
| 00:18:05 |
Hey, don't get me wrong! |
| 00:18:08 |
don't go home with the prom queen. |
| 00:18:09 |
- Give her the crown, she'll never go down. |
| 00:18:13 |
Well, I rest my case. |
| 00:18:15 |
All right, that's it! |
| 00:18:18 |
I'll show you how I earned my crown. |
| 00:18:21 |
Women! |
| 00:18:23 |
They are so easy to out finesse. |
| 00:18:26 |
They deserve what they get! |
| 00:18:28 |
Dicks! |
| 00:18:34 |
Nice! Nice! |
| 00:20:41 |
Thank you. |
| 00:20:43 |
Well, that was a near death experience. |
| 00:20:46 |
No problem. |
| 00:20:47 |
Wow! You draw really good rocks! |
| 00:20:51 |
Wanna know why? |
| 00:20:52 |
Sure. |
| 00:20:54 |
I can show you. |
| 00:20:57 |
You just gotta deepen your shadows, see? |
| 00:21:02 |
- Don't be afraid to be bold. |
| 00:21:07 |
Thanks! |
| 00:21:08 |
That's a... nice subject. |
| 00:21:10 |
Oh... well, I hope you don't mind. |
| 00:21:13 |
I just had to practice drawing children. |
| 00:21:15 |
Doesn't look like you need much practice. |
| 00:21:20 |
You want it? |
| 00:21:21 |
No. |
| 00:21:22 |
Not really. |
| 00:21:27 |
I'm kiddin'! |
| 00:21:28 |
I'm kiddin', I'd love it. |
| 00:21:31 |
- What's her name? |
| 00:21:33 |
She is another artist. |
| 00:21:37 |
the only person left in the universe |
| 00:21:39 |
Oh, she must get all her artistic talents |
| 00:21:43 |
Yeah, who knows? |
| 00:21:49 |
Thank you very much. It's beautiful. |
| 00:21:52 |
She's beautiful. |
| 00:21:55 |
Yeah, I'm... sorta partial to it, a little bit. |
| 00:22:02 |
My name is Noah, by the way. |
| 00:22:04 |
I'm... Anna. |
| 00:22:06 |
Anna, pleasure to meet you. |
| 00:22:08 |
Especially since we've established |
| 00:22:13 |
Take care! |
| 00:22:14 |
Bye. |
| 00:22:35 |
Hey, what's wrong with the Cosmobile? |
| 00:22:37 |
Uh, it won't start. |
| 00:22:39 |
Can you hop in and see if we can get it to go? |
| 00:22:46 |
Ok, try! |
| 00:22:50 |
I got nothing. |
| 00:22:53 |
Okay, once more. |
| 00:22:57 |
Cut it out, cut it out! |
| 00:23:00 |
All right, go again. |
| 00:23:21 |
- That was weird, right? |
| 00:23:26 |
Apron! |
| 00:23:32 |
Oh, look! Fuzzy22, right on time. |
| 00:23:35 |
Shut up! |
| 00:23:37 |
Ha ha! Can't believe it, Jen. You've fallen for a cop. |
| 00:23:38 |
Why do you think he's a cop? |
| 00:23:40 |
Er, "fuzz"... what else could it be? |
| 00:23:41 |
I'm thinking "peach fuzz"... |
| 00:23:43 |
since he's probably, like, 12 or something. |
| 00:23:45 |
Or maybe he's got a really hairy back. |
| 00:23:47 |
Maybe he's a peach farmer in Georgia. |
| 00:23:49 |
Oh, Jen! You don't wanna move to Georgia. |
| 00:23:51 |
I'm not moving anywhere. |
| 00:23:52 |
I bet the "22" means he's a gun freak. |
| 00:23:54 |
Could... just be his age, you know. |
| 00:23:55 |
Or... could be the number of years |
| 00:23:58 |
Yeah, or maybe the last 22 years |
| 00:24:01 |
I like that one. |
| 00:24:27 |
What can I do for you two? |
| 00:24:28 |
We phoned it in. Two "spicy italian" subs. |
| 00:24:32 |
How big? |
| 00:24:34 |
Ten inches... |
| 00:24:37 |
Total? |
| 00:24:39 |
Each, of course. |
| 00:24:51 |
I'm Tish. |
| 00:25:05 |
Oh my God! |
| 00:25:12 |
Did that work for anybody else? |
| 00:25:32 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:25:33 |
No, not you! Just... |
| 00:25:36 |
Hello, excuse me! |
| 00:25:38 |
Hello! |
| 00:25:40 |
Oh, I'm sorry, I... |
| 00:25:42 |
"Oh, I'm sorry"... yeah... |
| 00:25:44 |
I ordered a 12-inch veggie sub. |
| 00:25:51 |
No, I... |
| 00:25:54 |
You know how girls are not good with measurements. |
| 00:25:56 |
My last boyfriend told me that this WAS 12 inches. |
| 00:25:59 |
So, go figure! |
| 00:26:02 |
Well... |
| 00:26:04 |
Thanks. |
| 00:26:09 |
Thank you very much. Thanks. |
| 00:26:16 |
Thank you! |
| 00:26:20 |
All righty... ok... great! |
| 00:26:25 |
All right, Jen, what's up? |
| 00:26:27 |
You never strop an order. |
| 00:26:28 |
Yeah, what happened? |
| 00:26:30 |
No, actually, he wants to meet. |
| 00:26:34 |
Don't do it, Jen. You don't know anything about him. |
| 00:26:36 |
Wait a second. Why does this freak YOU out so bad? |
| 00:26:41 |
I talk to them first, dork! |
| 00:26:43 |
Besides, I can take care of myself. |
| 00:26:45 |
This is Jen we're talking about. |
| 00:26:47 |
Ok, reality check, guys! |
| 00:26:50 |
Yeah! Or... Schenectady. |
| 00:26:53 |
He lives down near L.A. |
| 00:26:55 |
Did you tell him you were in Santa Cruz? |
| 00:26:57 |
Jesus, Jen! |
| 00:27:00 |
No, he only knows me as "Ladybugger". |
| 00:27:03 |
So what now, Ladybugger? |
| 00:27:08 |
I'm gonna think about it. |
| 00:27:20 |
Tish, right? |
| 00:27:22 |
Mystery Man, right? |
| 00:27:24 |
Tadd. |
| 00:27:26 |
Tadd. |
| 00:27:27 |
Another "spicy italian" sub, Tadd? |
| 00:27:30 |
Just one? |
| 00:27:33 |
One for Brad too. |
| 00:27:45 |
Nice hair. |
| 00:27:47 |
Thanks, "Taddly". |
| 00:27:51 |
Well, see you around, Tish. |
| 00:28:05 |
Tadd & Brad. |
| 00:28:07 |
Well, isn't that... gay? |
| 00:28:23 |
Guess who! |
| 00:28:25 |
Oh... I don't know! |
| 00:28:27 |
Remember me? |
| 00:28:28 |
Of course, I remember you. |
| 00:28:30 |
Daddy, look who I found! |
| 00:28:32 |
Hey there! It's Anna who draws rocks and little girls. |
| 00:28:37 |
What are you doing here? |
| 00:28:38 |
Homework. |
| 00:28:40 |
Me too. |
| 00:28:41 |
I've to do Math and science... |
| 00:28:42 |
before I'm allowed to do any art. |
| 00:28:45 |
Yeah, some mean ogre made up that rule. |
| 00:28:47 |
Okay, Julia, I'm gonna look up those articles. |
| 00:28:49 |
Okay. |
| 00:28:51 |
I'll be fine with Anna. |
| 00:28:53 |
I'll be right back. |
| 00:29:32 |
I'll show you something. |
| 00:29:34 |
See the ears? |
| 00:29:35 |
Just put a little shadow in there. |
| 00:29:37 |
Cool! |
| 00:29:43 |
That doesn't look like Math to me. |
| 00:29:45 |
Done. |
| 00:29:46 |
- Spelling? |
| 00:29:49 |
Well, I have to check it. |
| 00:29:50 |
Done. |
| 00:29:52 |
Dad, did you know Anna has |
| 00:29:55 |
She knows all about kids. |
| 00:29:57 |
- Is that right? |
| 00:29:58 |
And she works in a sandwich shop, |
| 00:30:01 |
Oh yeah? |
| 00:30:04 |
Dad! |
| 00:30:08 |
Am I missing something? |
| 00:30:10 |
Julia has been asking me about private art lessons... |
| 00:30:13 |
...and I believe she thinks she's found her tutor. |
| 00:30:16 |
Well... |
| 00:30:17 |
And you could pick me up at school, |
| 00:30:22 |
Who? |
| 00:30:24 |
Okay, two times a week I teach |
| 00:30:26 |
and poor Julia has to walk home with Bradley. |
| 00:30:29 |
And then she's forced to stay with him |
| 00:30:35 |
You are a terrible father. |
| 00:30:36 |
Huh, I gotta give her something |
| 00:30:38 |
Bradley picks his nose in class... |
| 00:30:40 |
and makes these fart noises in his armpits. |
| 00:30:44 |
Testosterone poisoning, actually you can't help it. |
| 00:30:47 |
Anna, please, save me. |
| 00:30:49 |
Please! |
| 00:31:00 |
Okay. |
| 00:31:02 |
Thank you, thank you, thank you! |
| 00:31:31 |
Tadd. |
| 00:31:32 |
Tish. |
| 00:31:33 |
So, what can I get for you tonight? |
| 00:31:37 |
An order to go. |
| 00:31:39 |
What do you want? |
| 00:31:41 |
You. |
| 00:31:48 |
Sorry, just living vicariously. Ignore me. |
| 00:31:56 |
Well, look... |
| 00:31:58 |
With men... I've never had a... |
| 00:32:02 |
you know... a full on... |
| 00:32:04 |
Does that work on stupid guys? |
| 00:32:07 |
Yeah, usually. |
| 00:32:10 |
You're ready to go then? |
| 00:32:22 |
Huh! It's nice how he holds the door for her. |
| 00:32:24 |
What a gentleman... |
| 00:32:26 |
He's a giver, I can tell. |
| 00:32:28 |
...and I'm the only keeper. |
| 00:32:41 |
Car's really nice. |
| 00:32:43 |
Yeah, I love this car. |
| 00:32:45 |
I love the way you look in this car. |
| 00:32:48 |
Where is Brad tonight? |
| 00:32:49 |
Sitting in the apartment, |
| 00:32:55 |
So how do you afford such a nice car... |
| 00:32:59 |
Sucked out of my loaded father. |
| 00:33:32 |
What? |
| 00:33:34 |
Nothing, it's really good. |
| 00:33:36 |
Nah, that sucky thing is not right. |
| 00:33:40 |
That "sucky thing"? |
| 00:33:41 |
That's what my dad calls it. |
| 00:33:43 |
What your dad calls what? |
| 00:33:45 |
This. |
| 00:33:47 |
What? The... sucky thing? |
| 00:33:50 |
Otherwise known as a turkey baste. |
| 00:33:52 |
Well... yeah, if you wanna use its nickname... |
| 00:33:57 |
The sucky thing. |
| 00:33:59 |
Speaking of sucky things, |
| 00:34:03 |
Do you think you'd be able to stay late with Julia. |
| 00:34:07 |
Would I get to cook with the sucky thing? |
| 00:34:09 |
Absolutely! |
| 00:34:11 |
Then it's a deal. |
| 00:34:22 |
So, where's the mother? |
| 00:34:23 |
- I don't know. |
| 00:34:25 |
No! |
| 00:34:26 |
I mean, as far as they're concerned |
| 00:34:29 |
It would be... weird, if I asked. |
| 00:34:31 |
What if she calls or... |
| 00:34:33 |
Then you dope slap the bitch |
| 00:34:39 |
Oh, look! It lives. |
| 00:34:40 |
Barely. |
| 00:34:43 |
All right, start with this. |
| 00:34:46 |
I'm in love. |
| 00:34:47 |
No, you're in heat... |
| 00:34:49 |
Oh, look! A man pretending |
| 00:34:53 |
Finally found an 11, huh? |
| 00:34:55 |
Oh... 12! |
| 00:34:57 |
I did things with Tadd, |
| 00:34:59 |
Oh, really? Like what? |
| 00:35:02 |
Well, the surf sucked. |
| 00:35:05 |
Well, Tish is in love. |
| 00:35:09 |
...depending on who you're talking to. |
| 00:35:10 |
Really? Proud of you, angel. |
| 00:35:13 |
Piper is digging herself deeper and deeper |
| 00:35:17 |
Good... nice to see that our old company tradition |
| 00:35:20 |
in any situation, has been passed on |
| 00:35:25 |
Priestly has gotten in touch with his feminine side. |
| 00:35:27 |
I love my kilt! |
| 00:35:29 |
And I have reached a decision... on meeting Fuzzy. |
| 00:35:36 |
And? |
| 00:35:38 |
Well, hmm... |
| 00:35:39 |
We have all the same interests, |
| 00:35:41 |
he makes me laugh all the time, and... |
| 00:35:44 |
I tell him everything. |
| 00:35:46 |
It's a no-brainer. We have to meet! |
| 00:35:48 |
Right on! |
| 00:35:49 |
And... what if "he" is a woman? |
| 00:35:51 |
We'll find a way to make it work. |
| 00:35:52 |
Ooh, if that happens, can I watch? |
| 00:35:54 |
What if he's 14? |
| 00:35:55 |
Oooh, if that happens, can I... videotape? |
| 00:35:58 |
He's driving himself to the meeting point, |
| 00:36:02 |
And that's not... that much younger. |
| 00:36:05 |
Convicted felon? |
| 00:36:07 |
Hm, he's out now, so it couldn't have been that bad. |
| 00:36:09 |
Paralyzed? |
| 00:36:10 |
If he can go with that, I sure can. |
| 00:36:12 |
Ugly as a rhino's ass? |
| 00:36:14 |
Looks are really the least of my worries. |
| 00:36:18 |
But what if he's got, like, crazy ass hair and... |
| 00:36:24 |
Oh, I could never be that lucky. |
| 00:36:27 |
Okay, so... when and where? |
| 00:36:29 |
Halfway, next Saturday, at a club in Morro Bay. |
| 00:36:33 |
He'll be the one with the white rose on his table. |
| 00:36:35 |
Oh, that's so romantic. |
| 00:36:38 |
Trucker... |
| 00:36:40 |
I was wondering if there was any way |
| 00:36:43 |
I think that way I could just camp out. |
| 00:36:45 |
- Of course. Anything for true love! |
| 00:36:48 |
Well, I'm going with. |
| 00:36:50 |
Really? |
| 00:36:51 |
Me too. |
| 00:36:52 |
You guys are the best. |
| 00:36:54 |
Yeah, count me in! |
| 00:36:55 |
FORGET IT! |
| 00:36:57 |
Can we get to work now? |
| 00:36:59 |
I... I'll drive. |
| 00:37:00 |
No! |
| 00:37:01 |
I'll buy the beer. |
| 00:37:06 |
Never get to do anything fun... |
| 00:37:10 |
Priestly, you wanna go out on a fly errand? |
| 00:37:12 |
Affirmative! |
| 00:37:13 |
But what's that we need, captain? |
| 00:37:14 |
Oh, we're out of tampons in the ladies' bathroom. |
| 00:37:19 |
Oh, look at that face! |
| 00:37:21 |
Don't worry about it, we'll get 'em tomorrow. |
| 00:37:23 |
What, do you think I'm afraid of a box of plungers? |
| 00:37:26 |
No worries, mate. |
| 00:37:28 |
Come on, look at me! |
| 00:37:30 |
I'm a poster boy for maturity. |
| 00:37:33 |
All right, maybe not, but close enough. |
| 00:37:36 |
I can do this. |
| 00:37:37 |
All right? I'm comfortable enough with myself |
| 00:37:41 |
Hey, Renaissance Man! |
| 00:37:43 |
If you need help, just call me. |
| 00:38:13 |
Beach City Grill. Subs by the inch. |
| 00:38:15 |
Code blue. Hostile territory. Aborting mission. |
| 00:38:17 |
Who is this? |
| 00:38:18 |
It's your Renaissance Man. I'm at the store. |
| 00:38:20 |
There's too many enemy tampons. I'm bailing. |
| 00:38:22 |
All right, stay focused. Describe the situation. |
| 00:38:24 |
Initial recon appears to be bag or box? |
| 00:38:26 |
- Box. |
| 00:38:28 |
- All right, look around chest height. |
| 00:38:34 |
Well, here's one but it says "slender regular". |
| 00:38:37 |
How can something be both slender and regular? |
| 00:38:40 |
Priestly... |
| 00:38:41 |
Unless, of course they're implying that in the |
| 00:38:44 |
Priestly. Are you done? |
| 00:38:45 |
- Well, what about the Super Pluses? |
| 00:38:47 |
- Why not? They sound like better. |
| 00:38:50 |
I thought you liked huge. |
| 00:38:51 |
This is one area where bigger is not better. |
| 00:38:54 |
Yeah, well shouldn't you buy all the protection |
| 00:38:57 |
it says here it can handle any amount of- oh my God! |
| 00:39:00 |
Priestly, listen. If a woman needs an |
| 00:39:04 |
in the ladies room of a sandwich stop... |
| 00:39:05 |
- That's nasty. |
| 00:39:07 |
that's gonna hold her over until |
| 00:39:10 |
based on her own style preferences and... |
| 00:39:14 |
- Tish! |
| 00:39:16 |
That word... flow. |
| 00:39:21 |
Just... buy the slender regulars. |
| 00:39:24 |
Over and out! Heading back to base camp. |
| 00:39:26 |
Roger that! Over and out. |
| 00:39:35 |
Uhm... Hi! |
| 00:39:37 |
Who was that? |
| 00:39:39 |
Uh... Priestly. |
| 00:39:41 |
Jason? |
| 00:39:43 |
No, uh... he works here. |
| 00:39:46 |
Oh, yeah... the freak! |
| 00:39:56 |
- Check out this dude's dress! |
| 00:40:11 |
What? |
| 00:40:13 |
Nice breadsticks, dude! |
| 00:40:16 |
What, these? |
| 00:40:17 |
Dude, are you having a not so fresh day? |
| 00:40:22 |
Think it's funny that I'm buying tampons? |
| 00:40:29 |
Do you gentlemen... and I use that term loosely... |
| 00:40:33 |
understand what this means? |
| 00:40:36 |
Obviously not. |
| 00:40:39 |
This mean that... |
| 00:40:42 |
that there's a woman with whom I'm so intimate... |
| 00:40:45 |
that we're both comfortable with me buying |
| 00:40:49 |
This means that our relationship is so solid, so trusting, |
| 00:40:53 |
that I'm not embarassed doing this at all. |
| 00:40:56 |
It means, my friends, |
| 00:40:59 |
that instead of hanging out at a grocery store |
| 00:41:03 |
playing the skin flute, or just going a little... |
| 00:41:10 |
everyday, and she takes it downtown. |
| 00:41:14 |
And... everyone here knows it. |
| 00:41:18 |
- No high fives, dude. Just gimme some love. |
| 00:41:23 |
Excellent! |
| 00:41:32 |
Peace! |
| 00:42:16 |
That's how she knows that I'm home... |
| 00:42:19 |
and that she's been kissed. |
| 00:42:24 |
Oh, I hate coming home this late... |
| 00:42:27 |
Yes, she tried to wait up for you, but... |
| 00:42:30 |
- eyelids went out. |
| 00:42:33 |
So there's a ton of lasagna in the oven. |
| 00:42:35 |
I only know how to cook for a football team, and... |
| 00:42:37 |
Julia only had one piece, so... the rest is up to you. |
| 00:42:40 |
You didn't eat? |
| 00:42:42 |
No. |
| 00:42:45 |
Was your cooking that bad? Should I... order out? |
| 00:42:48 |
My cooking is just fine, thank you very much. |
| 00:42:51 |
I just... felt a little awkward. |
| 00:42:53 |
Well, I think you should join me. |
| 00:42:54 |
I don't... want you to feel awkward, but... |
| 00:43:01 |
Okay. |
| 00:43:08 |
Honestly, this is the best homecooked meal I've had... |
| 00:43:11 |
since we moved here. |
| 00:43:12 |
- So where are you from? |
| 00:43:13 |
Really? |
| 00:43:15 |
I'm from Maryland. |
| 00:43:16 |
Really? |
| 00:43:17 |
We used to go to Maryland all the time, |
| 00:43:20 |
We'd go down to this great little crab shop. |
| 00:43:22 |
"We"? |
| 00:43:25 |
So there's a Mrs. Miller? |
| 00:43:28 |
There used to be... |
| 00:43:30 |
...there's not anymore. |
| 00:43:33 |
You ended up with Julia? |
| 00:43:36 |
It's... unusual, isn't it? |
| 00:43:50 |
Look... I'm not really comfortable |
| 00:44:00 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:44:04 |
You know, I think I'm gonna go. |
| 00:44:07 |
- Anna, look, don't go... I ju- |
| 00:44:10 |
I intruded. |
| 00:44:12 |
Anna, please! |
| 00:44:14 |
I really need to go. |
| 00:44:16 |
Thank you. |
| 00:44:30 |
Come on, Priestly, it can't be that bad. |
| 00:44:32 |
- Yes, it can. |
| 00:44:34 |
Leave it, baby. |
| 00:44:37 |
Morning! |
| 00:44:39 |
Hey, Truck, you'll know. |
| 00:44:42 |
Beats me. |
| 00:44:44 |
Hey, but it's...gotta be on his application, right? |
| 00:44:46 |
Now that I think about it, |
| 00:44:53 |
Beach City Grill, subs by the inch. |
| 00:44:55 |
Hi, is Anna there? |
| 00:44:56 |
Anna? |
| 00:44:59 |
Anna! Yeah! Yeah, Anna is here. |
| 00:45:05 |
Hello? |
| 00:45:07 |
Hey, it's me. |
| 00:45:09 |
Hi. |
| 00:45:10 |
Listen, I was just calling to make sure |
| 00:45:13 |
Sure I am. |
| 00:45:15 |
Good, I... I was afraid you wouldn't come |
| 00:45:18 |
- everything with Julia's mother... |
| 00:45:20 |
I shouldn't have pried. |
| 00:45:22 |
You know, until Julia was two... |
| 00:45:25 |
Well, let's just say it was a really weird time. |
| 00:45:27 |
I understand. |
| 00:45:28 |
Okay, great. So that's all behind us... okay? |
| 00:45:31 |
- Okay. |
| 00:45:32 |
- see you tomorrow then. |
| 00:45:44 |
Bless you! |
| 00:45:46 |
Thank you. |
| 00:45:48 |
Bye. |
| 00:46:06 |
Okay, I've got it all worked up. |
| 00:46:07 |
We drive up saturday, check-in at the camp ground... |
| 00:46:10 |
and Trucker said that if we fold the seat down, |
| 00:46:13 |
Yeah, right... |
| 00:46:15 |
Like you're gonna be spending the night with us... |
| 00:46:18 |
What? |
| 00:46:20 |
Nothing. |
| 00:46:25 |
- No way! |
| 00:46:27 |
You're still the scarlet beady... |
| 00:46:30 |
So? It's not anything to be ashamed of... is it? |
| 00:46:34 |
No, it's not. |
| 00:46:35 |
If I had mantained, I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now. |
| 00:46:39 |
Yeah... listen, it's, uhm, it's not really different |
| 00:46:43 |
It just... takes a lot longer. |
| 00:46:47 |
Never? |
| 00:46:49 |
You guys, I'm a computer nerd daughter of |
| 00:46:51 |
I'm the worst kind of late bloomer. |
| 00:46:54 |
You've never plugged your own banjo. |
| 00:46:56 |
Come on! It's not like you guys do it all the time, right? |
| 00:47:00 |
Yesterday morning. |
| 00:47:01 |
Two days ago. |
| 00:47:02 |
Last night. |
| 00:47:04 |
Don't worry! I made Bam-Bam go in the other room. |
| 00:47:12 |
Oh... and I'm the one worried about carpal tunnel. |
| 00:47:15 |
Yeah. It's not carpal. It's one or two fingers. |
| 00:47:27 |
Nothing's happening! |
| 00:47:29 |
Keep going! |
| 00:47:33 |
I don't know you guys, maybe mine's a dud! |
| 00:47:35 |
KEEP GOING! |
| 00:47:40 |
- Ow! |
| 00:47:42 |
Very intense... |
| 00:47:42 |
- Well, just slow it down a little bit! |
| 00:47:47 |
This is one of those times I wish I smoked... |
| 00:47:49 |
or did origami, or something... |
| 00:47:53 |
Come on! Tadd's waiting for me! |
| 00:47:56 |
Tell him to come up here and help, if he's so impatient. |
| 00:48:00 |
So, is Brad going rollerblading with you guys, too? |
| 00:48:04 |
Tadd says he's not one of those guys who gives up |
| 00:48:08 |
That's cool... I guess. |
| 00:48:10 |
I guess... but they're roommates. |
| 00:48:12 |
I mean, they see each other all the time anyway. |
| 00:48:14 |
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh...oh, my God... |
| 00:48:20 |
Ladies and gentleman, we have lift off! |
| 00:48:22 |
Elvis has left the building! |
| 00:48:33 |
Does she look different to you? |
| 00:48:36 |
Our little girl's growing up. |
| 00:48:58 |
Roll off! |
| 00:49:02 |
Baby, you are something! |
| 00:49:04 |
Something good, I hope. |
| 00:49:08 |
Yeah... something good. |
| 00:49:11 |
Hey, I got us tickets for "The Catalyst" on saturday. |
| 00:49:14 |
Oh... bummer! I'm going out of town. |
| 00:49:16 |
Where are you going? |
| 00:49:17 |
Morro Bay, but just for saturday night. |
| 00:49:20 |
Can't you get out of it? |
| 00:49:22 |
- Hm-Hm, I'm going with Jen and Piper. |
| 00:49:24 |
My friends from the shop... |
| 00:49:28 |
Yeah, right... look, can't you just |
| 00:49:31 |
But I didn't. |
| 00:49:33 |
Well, fuck you very much! |
| 00:49:35 |
I'm sorry, but there's no way I'm standing Jen up. |
| 00:49:38 |
Next time just ask first. |
| 00:49:40 |
Whatever... |
| 00:49:42 |
So we have to find someone else |
| 00:49:45 |
"We"? |
| 00:49:47 |
Yeah, as in "Brad". |
| 00:49:50 |
Right, good. Is Brad coming on all of our dates? |
| 00:49:52 |
What is the fucking big deal? |
| 00:49:53 |
You have your friends, I have mine. |
| 00:49:55 |
True, but I don't bring mine everywhere I go. |
| 00:49:57 |
You're not one of those possessive chicks, are you? |
| 00:49:59 |
The kind that doesn't want me |
| 00:50:02 |
- No. |
| 00:50:03 |
Because I'm not gonna put up with that shit. |
| 00:50:06 |
Look, just... forget I said anything, okay? |
| 00:50:08 |
I don't know why, I'm being weird. |
| 00:50:10 |
Hey, call in sick... |
| 00:50:13 |
Spend the day with me. |
| 00:50:16 |
Girl's gotta work. Besides, |
| 00:50:20 |
Thought we could have a little fun. |
| 00:50:21 |
We will... tonight. |
| 00:51:01 |
Daddy! |
| 00:51:03 |
Hey, kiddo! |
| 00:51:05 |
- Well, you'll never guess what happened. |
| 00:51:07 |
All the power went out at the school, |
| 00:51:11 |
Now, ain't that a shame? |
| 00:51:12 |
- I can tell you're really broken up about it. |
| 00:51:15 |
So I figured, if you feel like, |
| 00:51:17 |
before they close the rides down for the winter... |
| 00:51:19 |
Awesome! |
| 00:51:20 |
And you know what? If we're lucky, we might |
| 00:51:25 |
Anna, please! |
| 00:51:28 |
'Cause Daddy doesn't do spinning rides, |
| 00:51:32 |
of how he used to feel after frat parties. |
| 00:51:37 |
Daddy doesn't do 'em, you can't make me |
| 00:51:42 |
Woo! Rock party! I fly! |
| 00:51:46 |
You doing the right thing, Noah? |
| 00:51:47 |
Not really, no! |
| 00:52:08 |
- Daddy, can I go play the dart game? |
| 00:52:11 |
- Here's the tickets. |
| 00:52:14 |
Watch me! |
| 00:52:17 |
Okay, so look... I don't... |
| 00:52:19 |
wanna be a walking cliché and hit on |
| 00:52:25 |
I want you to know that I like coming home |
| 00:52:28 |
I do. |
| 00:52:33 |
So... bear with me on this, because I haven't... |
| 00:52:39 |
would you be interested at all in... |
| 00:52:45 |
Not just Julia, but... |
| 00:52:47 |
with me? |
| 00:52:53 |
The deep sigh... |
| 00:52:54 |
Okay... |
| 00:52:56 |
No. Nope... |
| 00:52:58 |
The answer is "yes". A big yes. |
| 00:53:00 |
Yeah? |
| 00:53:07 |
There's a few things I think we need |
| 00:53:13 |
You're really a man? |
| 00:53:16 |
Only from the waist down. |
| 00:53:19 |
No, not at all! I like a girl that's hung. |
| 00:53:26 |
- Daddy! |
| 00:53:28 |
Guess what I won! |
| 00:53:29 |
Uh... gee, I give up. What? |
| 00:53:31 |
Well, I'll give you a hint. And here licks the hint! |
| 00:53:36 |
Fireworks! |
| 00:53:37 |
Pretty cool, huh? |
| 00:53:45 |
I know what you mean about honesty, though. |
| 00:53:48 |
- You do? |
| 00:53:50 |
We'll talk later. |
| 00:54:02 |
All right, so we have chocolate, sleeping bags, food, |
| 00:54:07 |
Do you think we have enough chocolate? |
| 00:54:09 |
I'll add it. |
| 00:54:18 |
Oh, was that Tadd all pissed off? |
| 00:54:19 |
Yeah, he's turked about something as usual. He'll recover. |
| 00:54:23 |
Good. I was worried he was mad at me for a second. |
| 00:54:28 |
I know. You're okay. |
| 00:54:33 |
Hey, Jen, did you do something different with your hair? |
| 00:54:35 |
No, why? |
| 00:54:37 |
I don't know, you just look different. |
| 00:54:44 |
- You told him? |
| 00:54:46 |
All right angels, cosmobile is ready to roll! |
| 00:54:48 |
THANKS, CHARLIE! |
| 00:54:54 |
- Greetings, everyone! |
| 00:55:02 |
Take care of the temple, Truck. |
| 00:55:10 |
I made this for your trip. |
| 00:55:13 |
Does that have chocolate in it? |
| 00:55:14 |
Sadly, no. |
| 00:55:16 |
This is a mixture of ground herbs, petals and pots. |
| 00:55:20 |
It will bring wholesomeness and protection |
| 00:55:24 |
Thank you, Zo. |
| 00:55:32 |
It's not a sin, Jen. It's a celebration. |
| 00:55:39 |
Now, for this to work, you have to hold each other... |
| 00:55:43 |
and release it into the wind blowing off the ocean. |
| 00:55:47 |
Okay! |
| 00:55:52 |
I have to run. |
| 00:55:53 |
I'm making lentle and tofu soup. |
| 00:55:56 |
Stop by if you want some. |
| 00:55:57 |
Hey, Zo! |
| 00:55:59 |
Are you vegetarian because you love animals, |
| 00:56:03 |
Oh... I do love you, Priestly. |
| 00:56:05 |
Hey, I'm... babysitting here by myself |
| 00:56:09 |
love it if you took a shift. |
| 00:57:52 |
If this turns out to be the ashes of Zo's |
| 00:58:19 |
I really don't think this is necessary. |
| 00:58:21 |
It looks better down. |
| 00:58:27 |
- What are you doing? |
| 00:58:30 |
It's not gonna get more lift. |
| 00:58:32 |
You guys, just... I just want him |
| 00:58:35 |
Oh no no! No. You never show the |
| 00:58:38 |
- I think you look beautiful. |
| 00:58:40 |
Different somehow. |
| 00:58:52 |
- So, do you know what he drives? |
| 00:58:55 |
No, of course not. That would be too easy. |
| 00:58:56 |
What difference would it make? |
| 00:58:58 |
Lots! |
| 00:58:59 |
Suppose he drives some beat-up piece of shit |
| 00:59:03 |
"All you need is love." |
| 00:59:07 |
And what if he has, like, NRA and skinhead stickers all over it? |
| 00:59:11 |
Then "we can work it out". |
| 00:59:12 |
It's Beatles red show night at the Morro Bay... |
| 00:59:14 |
We're accepting Fab Four requests all night long. |
| 00:59:17 |
What if he's "The Fool on the Hill"... or "The Nowhere Man"? |
| 00:59:21 |
Tish..."Let it Be". |
| 00:59:24 |
Besides, "everybody's got something to hide... |
| 00:59:26 |
- EXCEPT ME AND MY MONKEY"! |
| 00:59:30 |
All right, so this is what we have to do: |
| 00:59:31 |
We have to find a table in the back or in the corner, |
| 00:59:33 |
so that we can scope him or her out in advance. |
| 00:59:35 |
And, if he's an extra from "Road Warrior", we bolt. |
| 00:59:38 |
Maybe we should send Tish past him and see if he checks her out. |
| 00:59:40 |
If he doesn't check Tish out, he's either gay or dead. |
| 00:59:42 |
That's true. Nevermind. |
| 01:00:02 |
Okay... remember you guys: white rose. |
| 01:00:15 |
C'mon Alice, move your ass! |
| 01:00:29 |
Maybe that's him. |
| 01:00:32 |
So-so. |
| 01:00:34 |
I told you, I don't care about looks. |
| 01:00:40 |
Do you think that's him? |
| 01:00:42 |
You want me to walk by the table and check? |
| 01:00:43 |
Wait. |
| 01:00:48 |
I'm gonna guess that's not him. |
| 01:00:49 |
Unless he were on a date. |
| 01:01:37 |
Oh my God! |
| 01:01:39 |
That settles it. I have got to get my DSL hooked up. |
| 01:01:47 |
Oh... is that a face made for sitting on or what? |
| 01:02:15 |
Come on, Jen... |
| 01:02:18 |
Please talk to us. |
| 01:02:20 |
Look, do you want me to... to go back down and |
| 01:02:25 |
No. |
| 01:02:26 |
Come on, why not, Jen? |
| 01:02:30 |
I don't know what you saw that we missed. |
| 01:02:32 |
All I saw was... just a guy looking for the girl of his dreams. |
| 01:02:37 |
A guy like that doesn't dream about a girl like me. |
| 01:02:40 |
Is this about how cute he was? |
| 01:02:42 |
And I thought you'd be happy. |
| 01:02:43 |
and not to mention, you know, pretty damn relieved. |
| 01:02:46 |
Besides, you said that looks don't matter. |
| 01:02:49 |
Yeah, that was before I knew he was Brad-fucking-Pitt! |
| 01:02:54 |
There's no way a guy who looks like that is gonna want me. |
| 01:02:57 |
That's crazy. |
| 01:02:58 |
Is it? |
| 01:03:00 |
I mean, look at Tadd. |
| 01:03:01 |
When he came into the shop he didn't |
| 01:03:04 |
Okay, but Tadd is a superficial dickhead, |
| 01:03:09 |
Everyone except Tish. Sorry. |
| 01:03:14 |
I mean, girls that look like you don't understand... |
| 01:03:20 |
You know, I always think like... |
| 01:03:21 |
if I lost ten pounds, or... wear different clothes, or... |
| 01:03:25 |
got new boobs, that it would make a difference, but... |
| 01:03:29 |
I know the truth. |
| 01:03:30 |
I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. |
| 01:03:35 |
You're the smartest person that I know. |
| 01:03:38 |
When I see you helping those homeless guys |
| 01:03:43 |
you make everyone around you happy. |
| 01:03:46 |
You have so much to offer. |
| 01:03:48 |
I mean, to say you don't just because of |
| 01:03:54 |
I didn't say I don't have a lot to offer. |
| 01:03:56 |
I said that people will never know |
| 01:04:05 |
How many proms did you miss because |
| 01:04:08 |
How many times have your friends left you |
| 01:04:11 |
while they went and danced with guys? |
| 01:04:13 |
Or how many times has a customer completely |
| 01:04:21 |
So until that happens... |
| 01:04:24 |
Until you're told time and time again |
| 01:04:29 |
...don't tell me it's bullshit. |
| 01:04:32 |
Because you don't know. |
| 01:04:46 |
All I saw tonight was a man with eyes full of hope. |
| 01:04:50 |
Hope... |
| 01:04:51 |
That would've turned to disappointment, |
| 01:04:55 |
A forced smile... |
| 01:04:56 |
a polite conversation... |
| 01:05:00 |
God, I couldn't stand that! |
| 01:05:03 |
Not after all this. |
| 01:06:41 |
All right! |
| 01:06:44 |
I've been sitting by the phone, waiting, wondering... |
| 01:06:47 |
I demand a full report, I want all the details! |
| 01:06:49 |
What happened? |
| 01:06:51 |
Okay, look... uhm... there's a particular reason |
| 01:07:04 |
Are you okay? |
| 01:07:07 |
You're shitting me? |
| 01:07:11 |
Jen! |
| 01:07:12 |
Please, tell me you din't leave Fuzzy |
| 01:07:18 |
God damn it, Jen! |
| 01:07:19 |
I don't expect you to understand. |
| 01:07:23 |
No, I understand. |
| 01:07:26 |
I understand you wouldn't talk to him because you were |
| 01:07:31 |
Yet you're completely comfortable doing |
| 01:07:40 |
That's unbelievable. God! |
| 01:07:54 |
What? |
| 01:07:55 |
Why are you pissed at me? |
| 01:07:57 |
I'm not pissed at you. |
| 01:07:59 |
I mean, not you specifically, more as like |
| 01:08:04 |
Oh, come on... look, that was really hard on Jen. |
| 01:08:05 |
Oh, really? Really, Tish? 'Cause I'm sure |
| 01:08:10 |
Why are you suddenly Fuzzy's best friend? |
| 01:08:13 |
Why? |
| 01:08:14 |
Because it's pathetic, Tish, okay? |
| 01:08:16 |
It's pathetic that you can't rise above all this |
| 01:08:20 |
I mean, why is it, why is it that some people can't see |
| 01:08:25 |
And what is it that screws all that up? |
| 01:08:27 |
Can you tell me? |
| 01:08:29 |
I swear, you're like a two-year-old. |
| 01:08:30 |
You're more interested in the wrapping paper |
| 01:08:33 |
Wait. |
| 01:08:36 |
Are you talking about Jen or me? |
| 01:08:39 |
If there's a difference, let me know. |
| 01:08:54 |
Hey Jen. |
| 01:08:55 |
Just leave it. You've had a long day |
| 01:08:59 |
You sure? |
| 01:09:00 |
Yeah... yeah, go home and get drunk. |
| 01:09:03 |
Thank you. |
| 01:09:12 |
- I'll, hmm... I'll see you tomorrow. |
| 01:10:03 |
On your back! |
| 01:10:08 |
Let's get these off. |
| 01:10:15 |
- Oh my God! |
| 01:10:17 |
- No! No! NO! |
| 01:10:20 |
What are you doing, asshole? |
| 01:10:22 |
Come on, Tish, it's just Brad. |
| 01:10:24 |
- Yeah, relax Tish, it's cool. |
| 01:10:26 |
Tish, I live here. |
| 01:10:28 |
You know what I mean! |
| 01:10:29 |
Come one... what's the big deal? |
| 01:10:32 |
It's fun, we'll show you. |
| 01:10:34 |
Oh, no! Forget it! |
| 01:10:36 |
Where are you going? |
| 01:10:38 |
It's not like you're the most moral chick on the planet! |
| 01:10:40 |
What?! |
| 01:10:42 |
Look, one of the reasons I dug you so much |
| 01:10:44 |
- Experimental. |
| 01:10:48 |
God... well, science class is over, children! |
| 01:10:51 |
- Oh, come on, Tish! |
| 01:10:55 |
What's the big deal? |
| 01:10:56 |
Let go of me! |
| 01:10:57 |
- Get on the bed... |
| 01:11:05 |
Oh my God! |
| 01:11:07 |
Now look what you did... |
| 01:11:08 |
What I did?! |
| 01:11:09 |
Get the fuck away from me! |
| 01:11:13 |
Bye, Tish! I'll be here waiting. |
| 01:11:19 |
People are stupid, they just don't think like that. |
| 01:11:21 |
Okay Priestly, this time you're uber-wacked. |
| 01:11:23 |
I'm just saying Cobain wasn't trying to leave this world... |
| 01:11:25 |
All right? He was just tryin' to leave Courtney. |
| 01:11:26 |
I buy it. |
| 01:11:31 |
Oh, shit... what happened? |
| 01:11:33 |
Oh... yeah, isn't it beautiful? I mean, |
| 01:11:38 |
What did you do? |
| 01:11:39 |
I was... rollerblading out on West Cliff |
| 01:11:41 |
And I hit some ice plant and... went down. |
| 01:11:50 |
You guys, I'm fine! |
| 01:11:52 |
So, uh... who are we trashin' today? |
| 01:11:54 |
Courtney Love. |
| 01:11:55 |
Good, I hate her. |
| 01:11:56 |
Yeah, I wish she'd hit some ice plant. GUH! |
| 01:12:02 |
You know, the parenting books all say it's |
| 01:12:05 |
in the winter, because it gets dark earlier. |
| 01:12:09 |
I think they're lying. |
| 01:12:12 |
Maybe she's just an exceptional kid. |
| 01:12:15 |
Yeah... that must be it. |
| 01:12:22 |
Okay, Noah, here it goes. |
| 01:12:26 |
I have something to tell you. |
| 01:12:28 |
Something major. |
| 01:12:33 |
I have something to tell you, too. |
| 01:12:36 |
Something no one knows about Julia, I've... |
| 01:12:39 |
never told anyone. |
| 01:12:42 |
I think you should go first then. |
| 01:12:44 |
I think your thing relates to my thing. |
| 01:12:47 |
Okay. |
| 01:12:49 |
Well, my thing is this: |
| 01:12:52 |
Julia's mother lives on the East Coast... |
| 01:12:55 |
and is... legally barred from seeing Julia |
| 01:12:58 |
What? |
| 01:13:00 |
Why? |
| 01:13:01 |
When Julia was five months old, |
| 01:13:06 |
She sat in the car, holding Julia... |
| 01:13:08 |
with the exhaust piped in. |
| 01:13:10 |
Fortunately, a neighbour who was letting his dog shit in the |
| 01:13:16 |
What happened then? |
| 01:13:17 |
Hospital, medicine, therapy, everything. |
| 01:13:23 |
Very slowly... |
| 01:13:24 |
I started leaving her with Julia alone again. |
| 01:13:28 |
Then, right after her third birthday, |
| 01:13:30 |
I got a call at work. |
| 01:13:32 |
We were toilet-training Julia... |
| 01:13:35 |
and I guess... |
| 01:13:37 |
she had an accident in her pants. |
| 01:13:40 |
Her mother held her hand on the toilet bowl and... |
| 01:13:45 |
slammed the lid down. |
| 01:13:47 |
Broke two of her fingers and three bones. |
| 01:13:50 |
And, so, I... |
| 01:13:53 |
filed for divorce and custody. |
| 01:13:55 |
Obviously, got both. |
| 01:13:58 |
Then we packed up the car and moved |
| 01:14:03 |
Does Julia remember any of this? |
| 01:14:05 |
No, no... I dont think so. |
| 01:14:09 |
I mean, she used to say: |
| 01:14:11 |
"Mummy hurt me, so she doesn't live here anymore" |
| 01:14:15 |
it soon stopped. |
| 01:14:17 |
Must have been so hard... |
| 01:14:19 |
Well, my responsibility as a parent is |
| 01:14:25 |
I can accept the suicide attempt, |
| 01:14:29 |
everything else was a clear patten of abuse. |
| 01:14:37 |
What? |
| 01:14:39 |
- Post-partum depression? |
| 01:14:45 |
But you... have to give birth for that to happen. |
| 01:14:48 |
Ah... yeah... |
| 01:14:50 |
But Julia is adopted. |
| 01:14:52 |
What?! She's not, why... why would you think that? |
| 01:14:56 |
Yes, she is! |
| 01:14:57 |
No she's not, Anna... I... I was in the delivery room at the hospital. |
| 01:15:00 |
She's not adopted. |
| 01:15:02 |
Jesus Christ, you look like you're gonna be sick! |
| 01:15:06 |
Christ, Anna! What's wrong? |
| 01:15:08 |
She's not my baby? |
| 01:15:10 |
What?! |
| 01:15:11 |
I'm not Anna! |
| 01:15:14 |
I'm not anyone! |
| 01:15:16 |
Anna! |
| 01:15:57 |
You're ready to go, babe? |
| 01:16:01 |
Hey Trucker, can I leave ten minutes early? |
| 01:16:04 |
Sure, angel. Just be careful, if you go rollerblading. |
| 01:16:19 |
I don't like the way that old hippie calls you "angel". |
| 01:16:23 |
Look, I didn't want to make a scene in there. |
| 01:16:26 |
Why, because you got a little bruise? |
| 01:16:27 |
You can't blame me if you're... clumsy. |
| 01:16:29 |
Clumsy?! |
| 01:16:31 |
This would have never happened if you and Brad hadn't |
| 01:16:35 |
Forced you? Gimme a break, come on, get... |
| 01:16:38 |
Get in the car! |
| 01:16:40 |
Look, why don't you and Brad just admit that |
| 01:16:42 |
and get on with it? |
| 01:16:45 |
What are you talking about? |
| 01:16:46 |
Are you so far in the closet you can't see the light? |
| 01:16:50 |
You and Brad are hot for each other. |
| 01:16:52 |
You just use the girl to pretend you're straight. |
| 01:16:58 |
You listen to me! |
| 01:16:59 |
I'm no fag. |
| 01:17:00 |
I was captain of the football team in high school. |
| 01:17:05 |
Let me guess... |
| 01:17:08 |
You were a Tight End, always to afraid of |
| 01:17:13 |
Why don't you just be a man and admit what you are? |
| 01:17:16 |
No one cares that you're gay. |
| 01:17:19 |
If you ever call me queer again, I swear- |
| 01:17:26 |
You do not hit her! You piece of shit! |
| 01:17:29 |
What is it with you guys? |
| 01:17:33 |
You okay? |
| 01:17:46 |
Hey! Shithead! |
| 01:17:47 |
Why don't you try the old hippie? |
| 01:17:49 |
Trucker, don't! |
| 01:17:50 |
What is it with you people? |
| 01:17:51 |
She's a cheap piece of ass! Who cares about her? |
| 01:17:53 |
That's it, pretty boy... |
| 01:17:55 |
Keep talking. |
| 01:18:10 |
You listen to me, you dickless yuppie! |
| 01:18:11 |
Tish is a lady and she's my friend! |
| 01:18:16 |
If I ever see you around her, |
| 01:18:19 |
on "Unsolved Mysteries". You got it? |
| 01:18:32 |
Does anyone else think that Trucker |
| 01:18:40 |
Let's go to my pad. |
| 01:18:51 |
Are you okay? |
| 01:19:01 |
I don't believe it... |
| 01:19:04 |
Gordon Hancock?! |
| 01:19:06 |
Senior class prez... |
| 01:19:08 |
Captain of the football team... |
| 01:19:11 |
No free love, no peace rallies? |
| 01:19:13 |
Yeah, I took the free love when I could get it. I mean... |
| 01:19:16 |
- No bongs? |
| 01:19:17 |
- No Grateful Dead concerts? |
| 01:19:19 |
What happened? |
| 01:19:23 |
Oh, pff... I got drafted. |
| 01:19:25 |
I found out I was a sneaky son of a bitch... |
| 01:19:27 |
good at... killing people before |
| 01:19:31 |
It's funny what you can learn about yourself. |
| 01:19:34 |
Geez... |
| 01:19:35 |
Did three tours... lost count of the bodies |
| 01:19:42 |
So, God knows how many souls I gotta face somday... |
| 01:19:45 |
So, when was Trucker born? |
| 01:19:47 |
Well... when I got home, I started taking |
| 01:19:54 |
met some crazy ass surfers... |
| 01:19:58 |
They made me smile, you know? For the |
| 01:20:02 |
I bought a board... |
| 01:20:04 |
and changed my name. |
| 01:20:06 |
But I swore that I would never... |
| 01:20:24 |
I'm sorry I made you break your promise. |
| 01:20:27 |
Oh, no. |
| 01:20:29 |
I said I would never hurt another "human"... |
| 01:20:33 |
So I'm cool with that, angel. |
| 01:20:36 |
But, promise me something? |
| 01:20:37 |
Anything. |
| 01:20:39 |
No more shitheads. You know, like, |
| 01:20:47 |
The problem is... |
| 01:20:49 |
guys like that don't ask me out. |
| 01:20:52 |
Well, maybe they could ask the |
| 01:20:57 |
That's it, isn't it? |
| 01:20:59 |
That's why you won't ask Zo out? |
| 01:21:01 |
You're afraid she won't like your past. |
| 01:21:03 |
She's just all about love and... and peace, and... |
| 01:21:07 |
I don't think she'd accept it. |
| 01:21:08 |
I wouldn't even know how to tell her. |
| 01:21:10 |
I don't think you have to. |
| 01:21:14 |
Zo is in your yearbook. |
| 01:21:19 |
Oh my God... it's really Zo! |
| 01:21:24 |
- She's cute! |
| 01:21:29 |
Ah... Trucker! |
| 01:21:30 |
- How did I miss that? |
| 01:21:38 |
Hey! |
| 01:21:40 |
You can't hide forever, Anna... |
| 01:21:43 |
or whatever your name is. |
| 01:21:45 |
What do you want? |
| 01:21:47 |
I want the truth. You owe me that much. |
| 01:21:54 |
So you came out here because you saw a picture |
| 01:22:00 |
No! |
| 01:22:02 |
The pieces fit. |
| 01:22:03 |
Age, looks... |
| 01:22:06 |
artistic ability! |
| 01:22:09 |
The mother told me that she was gonna name her |
| 01:22:12 |
Still, I don't see why you just didn't ask. |
| 01:22:16 |
When you were vague about her past I assumed that was |
| 01:22:20 |
That sounds like wishful thinking. |
| 01:22:25 |
Why would you lie about your name? |
| 01:22:29 |
There aren't that many Pipers running around. |
| 01:22:32 |
I was afraid you'd remember my name |
| 01:22:36 |
Anna is my middle name. |
| 01:22:40 |
Look, I never intended on becoming part of your lives. |
| 01:22:42 |
I just wanted to know that she was okay. |
| 01:22:44 |
But you did, Anna. You became part of our lives, |
| 01:22:46 |
it just seems like a lie. |
| 01:22:50 |
You know, I didn't want to give up my baby! |
| 01:22:52 |
I was forced to! |
| 01:22:54 |
I mean, what would you do if Julia was taken from you? |
| 01:22:57 |
- Yeah, of course... |
| 01:23:00 |
I mean, why is my love for my child just |
| 01:23:04 |
Of course, you have your child, |
| 01:23:08 |
All I have is the ghosts of two Julias. |
| 01:23:12 |
I loved them both, and I lost them both. |
| 01:23:26 |
So, you always knew about... me being in the war? |
| 01:23:30 |
You were three years behind me? |
| 01:23:34 |
Of course I was... crazy for you. |
| 01:23:37 |
All the girls were. |
| 01:23:40 |
You never paid much attention to the freshman girls. |
| 01:23:42 |
Especially not nerdy, flat-chested ones. |
| 01:23:47 |
You know, Trucker, no matter how much you grow up... |
| 01:23:50 |
sometimes high school is right there, |
| 01:23:58 |
It just blows my mind that... |
| 01:24:01 |
It's true. |
| 01:24:05 |
So, what did you fantasize about us? |
| 01:24:07 |
Watching the sunset at the beach? |
| 01:24:11 |
Sometimes. |
| 01:24:12 |
Yeah... what else? |
| 01:24:15 |
Stuff. |
| 01:24:17 |
Tell me. |
| 01:24:21 |
Trucker, my high school fantasy was... |
| 01:24:27 |
that we were in love. |
| 01:24:29 |
That... when we looked in each other's eyes |
| 01:24:32 |
time would stand still... |
| 01:24:35 |
and our hearts would forever beat as one. |
| 01:24:48 |
I'm sorry it took so long. |
| 01:24:53 |
That's okay. |
| 01:25:17 |
Are you guys...? |
| 01:25:18 |
Oh, ladies first. |
| 01:25:19 |
Thank you. |
| 01:25:22 |
- Good evening. Did you find everything all right? |
| 01:25:33 |
- Your total's $9.35. |
| 01:25:36 |
Thank you. Have a good night. |
| 01:25:44 |
- This sucks, dude! |
| 01:25:46 |
Hey, I'm putting the stuff back. |
| 01:25:48 |
Wait, wait, wait... keep the lube. |
| 01:25:53 |
You people are too naive! |
| 01:25:54 |
So you're saying that Chapman did pull the trigger? |
| 01:25:56 |
Affirmative! |
| 01:25:57 |
Order up! |
| 01:25:59 |
But he was just a CIA puppet. |
| 01:26:01 |
No, he was programmed, right down-the-line! |
| 01:26:04 |
- No, no. The threat was over, man. By then he was |
| 01:26:08 |
No, no... Lennon was coming alive again. |
| 01:26:11 |
Reagan had just taken offers, he had to be taken out. |
| 01:26:14 |
Exactly! Thank you! Thanks. |
| 01:26:22 |
- Can you hold this? |
| 01:26:25 |
- Stay close, Julia! |
| 01:26:30 |
Okay, so here's the deal: |
| 01:26:32 |
Julia and I took a vote, and there's |
| 01:26:38 |
Job is yours, if you want it. |
| 01:26:40 |
- Really? |
| 01:26:45 |
Only one ground rule: |
| 01:26:47 |
Nothing but honesty from now on. |
| 01:26:51 |
I swear. |
| 01:26:58 |
- Noah? |
| 01:27:00 |
- That shirt's a really nasty color. |
| 01:27:02 |
Hey, I'm just trying to get started somewhere. |
| 01:27:39 |
- Hey man. |
| 01:27:44 |
- Are you hungry? |
| 01:27:50 |
Okay, uhm... how can I help? |
| 01:27:53 |
You're pretty. |
| 01:27:57 |
Oh, I don't... I don't know about that. |
| 01:28:00 |
I do. |
| 01:28:04 |
Well, thank you. |
| 01:28:07 |
You're very pretty. |
| 01:28:10 |
And you're exactly who I'd hoped you'd be... |
| 01:28:18 |
Ladybugger. |
| 01:28:57 |
I punk'd you, baby! |
| 01:29:02 |
Gotta remember to log off your computer, Jen. |
| 01:29:06 |
Can we... |
| 01:29:08 |
...can we go somewhere and talk? |
| 01:29:13 |
I'd like that. |
| 01:29:17 |
Uhm... I'm Jeff Kenline, by the way. |
| 01:29:20 |
It's a pleasure to meet you, Jeff Kenline. |
| 01:29:25 |
- Hey, dude! |
| 01:29:27 |
Uh... what did you get "Fuzzy22" from? |
| 01:29:30 |
I got that account when I was working on my senior thesis. |
| 01:29:33 |
It was on fuzzy logic and I was 22. |
| 01:29:36 |
Why? Did you think I was a cop or something? |
| 01:29:38 |
No, of course not! |
| 01:29:40 |
That'd be stupid... a cop. |
| 01:29:52 |
Who says "a cop"... I mean, honestly, "fuzzy"... |
| 01:29:55 |
Did you do that? |
| 01:29:59 |
Awesome! |
| 01:30:14 |
So, one tuna sub... and veggie sub. |
| 01:30:23 |
- Uh, about... ten minutes. |
| 01:30:30 |
All right, what can I get for you? |
| 01:30:36 |
Holy shit! |
| 01:30:40 |
Miss Matheson, it would be my pleasure |
| 01:30:44 |
accompany me to dinner tonight. |
| 01:30:50 |
Depends. |
| 01:30:51 |
On what? |
| 01:30:53 |
I wanna know your first name. |
| 01:30:55 |
Yeah! |
| 01:30:58 |
Come one, gimme a break! |
| 01:31:01 |
I went to Banana Republic, for Christ's sake! |
| 01:31:09 |
Dammit! |
| 01:31:13 |
...Boaz. |
| 01:31:16 |
Can't hear you. |
| 01:31:19 |
Boaz, all right? |
| 01:31:23 |
- Boaz?! |
| 01:31:28 |
Can I tell you something, Boaz? |
| 01:31:32 |
Okay. |
| 01:31:34 |
This is something... I've never told anyone else. |
| 01:31:37 |
Yeah, of course. |
| 01:31:40 |
Tish... |
| 01:31:42 |
is short for "Platisha". |
| 01:31:45 |
Platisha? |
| 01:31:47 |
Platisha. |
| 01:31:53 |
That's good. |
| 01:31:58 |
Oh, there's something I should mention, uh... Platisha. |
| 01:32:01 |
And what's that, Boaz? |
| 01:32:03 |
Well... see, with women... there's never... I mean, I've never... |
| 01:32:08 |
Don't try it. |
| 01:32:20 |
Is that a "yes"? |
| 01:32:22 |
Yes, Boaz! |
| 01:32:58 |
Dad! |
| 01:33:03 |
- We asked you here today... |
| 01:33:09 |
to witness our dedication to each other. |
| 01:33:14 |
We start our new lives as we started the last... |
| 01:33:17 |
Naked and needing... |
| 01:33:20 |
dependent on those we love to care for us. |
| 01:33:24 |
- Hell yeah! |
