|
Ten The
|
| 00:01:15 |
Hello. |
| 00:01:17 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:01:20 |
Because I have to introduce |
| 00:01:22 |
I told you this before. |
| 00:01:24 |
We'll talk about this |
| 00:01:25 |
I'm late enough |
| 00:01:27 |
Ten commandments, |
| 00:01:29 |
You knew what you |
| 00:01:30 |
When you married me. |
| 00:01:31 |
This is what I do. |
| 00:01:33 |
Hello? |
| 00:01:34 |
Hello? |
| 00:01:36 |
Unbelievable. |
| 00:01:44 |
Hi, I'm Jeff Reigert. |
| 00:01:47 |
Okay, good. |
| 00:01:48 |
So I've got the ten commandments |
| 00:01:51 |
And I'm gonna give you |
| 00:01:53 |
Each one of them correlates |
| 00:01:56 |
So let's get right into it. |
| 00:01:58 |
Sorry I was late, |
| 00:02:00 |
Long story short, |
| 00:02:03 |
You know, I'm not |
| 00:02:06 |
All right, |
| 00:02:07 |
My wife and I |
| 00:02:09 |
We'd agreed |
| 00:02:10 |
Because she wanted to buy |
| 00:02:13 |
I mean, we weren't gonna make |
| 00:02:15 |
You know what? |
| 00:02:17 |
This is just gonna get me |
| 00:02:19 |
And besides, you didn't-- |
| 00:02:24 |
To listen to my shit, |
| 00:02:26 |
I came here to give you |
| 00:02:27 |
And we're already running |
| 00:02:29 |
So why don't we just |
| 00:02:32 |
Let's get this party |
| 00:02:34 |
Story number one. |
| 00:02:47 |
Okay, |
| 00:02:49 |
Hey, everybody, |
| 00:02:51 |
Logging my first-ever |
| 00:02:53 |
are you nervous? |
| 00:02:55 |
Nah, are you joking, |
| 00:02:56 |
I'm more nervous |
| 00:02:59 |
Bring it on! |
| 00:03:00 |
aw, you're nervous! |
| 00:03:01 |
Wow! |
| 00:03:02 |
Look at how high up |
| 00:03:05 |
It's like that line |
| 00:03:08 |
"I want you to draw me |
| 00:03:11 |
"wearing this, |
| 00:03:12 |
Wearing only this." |
| 00:03:14 |
Okay, let's do it |
| 00:03:16 |
Let's get this party |
| 00:03:19 |
Whoo! |
| 00:03:21 |
Uh, excuse me. |
| 00:03:23 |
Forgot his chute. |
| 00:03:24 |
please tell me you're goofing. |
| 00:03:27 |
No, I don't goof. |
| 00:03:28 |
Oh, god! |
| 00:03:32 |
Stephen! |
| 00:03:33 |
Stephen, |
| 00:03:36 |
Are you okay? |
| 00:03:37 |
Oh, god! |
| 00:03:39 |
Are you okay? |
| 00:03:40 |
No, not really. |
| 00:03:46 |
his vitals |
| 00:03:49 |
But his body is so deeply |
| 00:03:53 |
That any movement at all |
| 00:03:55 |
Would kill him. |
| 00:03:57 |
Well, what am I |
| 00:03:58 |
I mean, just-- |
| 00:03:59 |
Just leave my fiance |
| 00:04:01 |
Yes. |
| 00:04:03 |
But other than that, |
| 00:04:05 |
To go about |
| 00:04:08 |
Okay? |
| 00:04:09 |
We good? |
| 00:04:11 |
Stay out |
| 00:04:16 |
Ooh, you know what |
| 00:04:19 |
There's a jazz show |
| 00:04:21 |
And we could-- |
| 00:04:23 |
Never mind. |
| 00:04:24 |
Sorry, what'd you say? |
| 00:04:26 |
Nothing. |
| 00:04:27 |
I said, |
| 00:04:29 |
Awful, |
| 00:04:31 |
Fucking awful. |
| 00:04:32 |
Okay, we're live |
| 00:04:34 |
How are the wedding plans |
| 00:04:36 |
Good. |
| 00:04:37 |
Yeah, we were gonna |
| 00:04:39 |
At my parents' beach house |
| 00:04:40 |
Oh, god, |
| 00:04:42 |
I know. |
| 00:04:44 |
But now it looks like |
| 00:04:46 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:04:47 |
Yeah, he'll be, |
| 00:04:50 |
And I'll be-- |
| 00:04:52 |
I promised myself |
| 00:04:56 |
Shh, shh, shh. |
| 00:04:58 |
It's okay. |
| 00:05:00 |
God, you smell good. |
| 00:05:02 |
Is that |
| 00:05:03 |
Okay, in five, |
| 00:05:04 |
Tell me later. |
| 00:05:05 |
Three, two-- |
| 00:05:07 |
Thanks, Jim. |
| 00:05:09 |
I'm here in a field |
| 00:05:12 |
Where Stephen Montgomery |
| 00:05:15 |
In the ground |
| 00:05:17 |
I'm sure you're aware |
| 00:05:18 |
That you've become |
| 00:05:20 |
A hero of sorts. |
| 00:05:22 |
You have any words |
| 00:05:23 |
For your growing |
| 00:05:26 |
No, not really. |
| 00:05:28 |
No, not really. |
| 00:05:30 |
He's a man of few words |
| 00:05:33 |
Whether it be the kids |
| 00:05:36 |
To catch a glimpse of him |
| 00:05:38 |
Or 12-year-old Dorothy Sheen, |
| 00:05:39 |
Whose Halloween costume |
| 00:05:41 |
Is just a little bit |
| 00:05:44 |
I'm Stephen Montgomery. |
| 00:05:45 |
If you move me, |
| 00:05:47 |
Even Governor Hutchins |
| 00:05:50 |
We're gonna do |
| 00:05:51 |
What Stephen Montgomery |
| 00:05:54 |
We're gonna bury it |
| 00:05:56 |
And make sure |
| 00:05:59 |
I'm gonna give it |
| 00:06:02 |
Because that's my style. |
| 00:06:04 |
You're not funny. |
| 00:06:05 |
Your act is stale. |
| 00:06:07 |
You will never make it |
| 00:06:09 |
Now, get out |
| 00:06:14 |
How do people like that |
| 00:06:16 |
She said she had |
| 00:06:17 |
It won't happen again. |
| 00:06:19 |
Sir, Stephen Montgomery |
| 00:06:23 |
Stephen, |
| 00:06:24 |
Fielding Barnes. |
| 00:06:26 |
I want to make you |
| 00:06:27 |
What do you say? |
| 00:06:35 |
Don't you knock, Fred? |
| 00:06:37 |
I would, but if I knock |
| 00:06:39 |
How would you know |
| 00:06:41 |
Where's Stephen? |
| 00:06:42 |
Right here |
| 00:06:45 |
hey, Stephen. |
| 00:06:46 |
I got two tickets |
| 00:06:48 |
You want to go? |
| 00:06:49 |
No, not really. |
| 00:06:53 |
Why not? |
| 00:06:54 |
Because I can't move, |
| 00:06:57 |
And if I did, |
| 00:07:02 |
# two feet |
| 00:07:05 |
# ain't no |
| 00:07:08 |
# no, not really. # |
| 00:07:09 |
# my time is coming |
| 00:07:13 |
# and there ain't |
| 00:07:16 |
we're all dying to know, |
| 00:07:17 |
does your character |
| 00:07:19 |
Look, I don't want to give |
| 00:07:23 |
But I will say this: |
| 00:07:25 |
Probably not, |
| 00:07:27 |
# eyes on the stars |
| 00:07:31 |
# love in the sun. # |
| 00:07:33 |
# no losing allowed. # |
| 00:07:35 |
Two years ago, I didn't have |
| 00:07:37 |
When the Montgomery show hit, |
| 00:07:39 |
Every agent in town |
| 00:07:40 |
The world just |
| 00:07:43 |
You just sit back. |
| 00:07:44 |
I mean, I have to. |
| 00:07:45 |
Can't really move. |
| 00:07:47 |
# ooh, ooh, ah! # |
| 00:07:48 |
# two feet |
| 00:07:50 |
# no, not really. # |
| 00:07:52 |
I just started to use |
| 00:07:54 |
I'm a trailblazer, |
| 00:07:55 |
I don't even want to think |
| 00:07:57 |
I think it's pretty safe to say |
| 00:07:59 |
America loves |
| 00:08:02 |
Stephen Montgomery: |
| 00:08:03 |
Hero, superstar, |
| 00:08:05 |
God. |
| 00:08:07 |
This just in: |
| 00:08:08 |
Tragedy strikes in Texas |
| 00:08:11 |
Intentionally jumps out |
| 00:08:14 |
Obviously a copycat incident, |
| 00:08:15 |
They were imitating the man |
| 00:08:18 |
Stephen Montgomery. |
| 00:08:19 |
Details and reaction |
| 00:08:21 |
turn that shit off! |
| 00:08:23 |
Stephen, |
| 00:08:25 |
Who are |
| 00:08:26 |
Kelly, it's not |
| 00:08:27 |
How's it going, |
| 00:08:29 |
Kelly, |
| 00:08:30 |
Kelly, wait! |
| 00:08:31 |
Wait! |
| 00:08:32 |
Ah! |
| 00:08:34 |
I can't move! |
| 00:08:35 |
Damn it, |
| 00:08:37 |
Oh! |
| 00:08:39 |
Ahh! |
| 00:08:47 |
I think I'm allergic |
| 00:08:49 |
Louis! |
| 00:08:51 |
Louis. |
| 00:08:52 |
Kelly? |
| 00:08:53 |
I have no one |
| 00:08:55 |
Shh. |
| 00:08:57 |
Look, it's okay. |
| 00:08:58 |
Listen to me. |
| 00:08:59 |
I'm gonna take care |
| 00:09:01 |
Really? |
| 00:09:02 |
Sure. |
| 00:09:04 |
Come on. |
| 00:09:05 |
# lift me up |
| 00:09:10 |
# you lift me up |
| 00:09:15 |
okay, going up |
| 00:09:16 |
Look out. |
| 00:09:17 |
Four, three... |
| 00:09:21 |
What does a monkey |
| 00:09:23 |
Have in common |
| 00:09:24 |
Nothing, right? |
| 00:09:26 |
Think again. |
| 00:09:27 |
They're both |
| 00:09:30 |
Stephen, I have bad news. |
| 00:09:32 |
The show's cancelled. |
| 00:09:34 |
The ratings |
| 00:09:35 |
And your offscreen antics |
| 00:09:37 |
Haven't been helping. |
| 00:09:38 |
I thought she was 18. |
| 00:09:40 |
Doesn't matter, Stephen. |
| 00:09:42 |
I thought |
| 00:09:43 |
Doesn't matter, |
| 00:09:45 |
You had sex with her. |
| 00:09:46 |
I thought |
| 00:09:48 |
It feels the same |
| 00:09:50 |
Don't you get it, |
| 00:09:51 |
Well, then, |
| 00:09:52 |
Get me another jo--what have you |
| 00:09:54 |
I've got nothing, |
| 00:09:56 |
Let's face it. |
| 00:09:58 |
The majority of jobs |
| 00:10:00 |
Who can get off the floor |
| 00:10:01 |
I--Stephen, |
| 00:10:04 |
That's the climate |
| 00:10:06 |
I--I--I got to get this. |
| 00:10:08 |
I got--hello! |
| 00:10:09 |
Johnny Frankel, |
| 00:10:10 |
My favorite client, |
| 00:10:12 |
What's up, man? |
| 00:10:13 |
But listen, |
| 00:10:15 |
Because at the end |
| 00:10:16 |
Let's not jerk |
| 00:10:18 |
You're not going to be stuck |
| 00:10:20 |
You know that. |
| 00:10:30 |
What happened |
| 00:10:33 |
For the past |
| 00:10:34 |
Stephen has stayed |
| 00:10:37 |
Choosing a quiet life |
| 00:10:39 |
Stuck in the ground-- |
| 00:10:42 |
I used |
| 00:10:44 |
And now |
| 00:10:46 |
Wow. |
| 00:10:47 |
Thank you so much, |
| 00:10:48 |
And that's all the news |
| 00:10:50 |
I'm Bream Benson. |
| 00:10:51 |
And I'm Jim Stansel. |
| 00:11:00 |
See how that works? |
| 00:11:01 |
That was the first one, |
| 00:11:03 |
The total being ten. |
| 00:11:05 |
And you know |
| 00:11:06 |
Ten is. |
| 00:11:07 |
Tennis? |
| 00:11:08 |
Tennis, anyone? |
| 00:11:10 |
It's like I can't even |
| 00:11:12 |
Unless it's |
| 00:11:13 |
Anyway, let's do |
| 00:11:16 |
No, no, don't help me |
| 00:11:18 |
Oh, I--I didn't know |
| 00:11:20 |
Of course |
| 00:11:21 |
God forbid you notice |
| 00:11:23 |
Gretchen-- |
| 00:11:24 |
Jeff, don't test me |
| 00:11:25 |
You will lose. |
| 00:11:29 |
Did you see that? |
| 00:11:30 |
Am I crazy? |
| 00:11:31 |
I didn't know |
| 00:11:32 |
God, she's getting to the point |
| 00:11:34 |
There isn't a thing |
| 00:11:36 |
We used to talk about |
| 00:11:38 |
We used to laugh |
| 00:11:39 |
I would break a blood vessel, |
| 00:11:42 |
You know how they say |
| 00:11:45 |
No, I would need medicine |
| 00:11:46 |
To put on my broken |
| 00:11:47 |
That's how hard |
| 00:11:49 |
It was |
| 00:11:51 |
I don't remember |
| 00:11:52 |
It's been so many years |
| 00:11:53 |
Since I laughed so hard |
| 00:11:55 |
That I would even need |
| 00:11:57 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:11:58 |
I don't mean to burden you |
| 00:12:00 |
Oxydine Three. |
| 00:12:02 |
Oxydine Three, that's what-- |
| 00:12:04 |
The name |
| 00:12:05 |
Anyway, let's get back |
| 00:12:08 |
Here we go |
| 00:12:09 |
The duck, |
| 00:12:12 |
Number two. |
| 00:12:14 |
Poop. |
| 00:12:39 |
Hola. |
| 00:12:41 |
Como esta? |
| 00:12:43 |
Estoy bien. |
| 00:12:47 |
Hola. |
| 00:12:48 |
Como esta? |
| 00:12:50 |
Estoy bien. |
| 00:12:52 |
Estoy bien. |
| 00:13:01 |
Te quiero, |
| 00:13:04 |
Brushing up |
| 00:13:05 |
Yes. |
| 00:13:07 |
Si. |
| 00:13:08 |
Ooh, that was |
| 00:13:10 |
Sounds just like |
| 00:13:11 |
Gracias. |
| 00:13:13 |
Mm-mm, |
| 00:13:15 |
You had me |
| 00:13:16 |
But then you lost me |
| 00:13:18 |
Anyway, I want you |
| 00:13:19 |
He's gonna be |
| 00:13:21 |
While you're in Mejico |
| 00:13:23 |
Very good, Oliver. |
| 00:13:24 |
You used |
| 00:13:25 |
Which includes the "x" |
| 00:13:27 |
Mejico. |
| 00:13:29 |
See how much fun |
| 00:13:31 |
When are you gonna |
| 00:13:32 |
And go out with me |
| 00:13:33 |
I wish I felt that way, |
| 00:13:36 |
Well, you can't blame a gal |
| 00:13:39 |
For five years. |
| 00:13:41 |
At any rate, |
| 00:13:42 |
Your temporary |
| 00:13:44 |
Hey, |
| 00:13:45 |
Oh, didn't see you there. |
| 00:13:47 |
Oh. |
| 00:13:49 |
Hello. |
| 00:13:50 |
Sorry, |
| 00:13:51 |
Much. |
| 00:13:52 |
Yeah. |
| 00:13:54 |
Well, the filing system |
| 00:13:55 |
I've written down |
| 00:13:57 |
For the voice mail |
| 00:13:58 |
And if you need anything, |
| 00:14:00 |
Gloria, relax. |
| 00:14:01 |
Take your vacation. |
| 00:14:03 |
Go wild. |
| 00:14:04 |
Tony can handle things. |
| 00:14:05 |
Right, Tony? |
| 00:14:07 |
Yup. |
| 00:14:12 |
Maybe you're right. |
| 00:14:57 |
Gracias. |
| 00:15:04 |
I-- |
| 00:15:05 |
Yes? |
| 00:15:06 |
I want to-- |
| 00:15:08 |
Yes? |
| 00:15:09 |
I want to... |
| 00:15:12 |
Fuck your tits. |
| 00:15:13 |
Yes? |
| 00:15:14 |
No, no. |
| 00:15:15 |
I don't think that's |
| 00:15:18 |
One moment. |
| 00:15:19 |
One--one moment. |
| 00:15:40 |
guerita, guerita, |
| 00:15:42 |
Try these. |
| 00:15:44 |
Very juicy. |
| 00:15:45 |
Gracias. |
| 00:16:22 |
Hey, senorita! |
| 00:16:23 |
Tres pesos |
| 00:16:32 |
Gloria. |
| 00:16:40 |
Gracias, Alfonzo, |
| 00:16:41 |
Yo estoy tired |
| 00:16:44 |
From el air-o plane-o. |
| 00:16:45 |
Mm. |
| 00:16:48 |
Gloria, |
| 00:16:50 |
This is Jesus. |
| 00:17:18 |
Nice to meet you. |
| 00:17:26 |
Encantado. |
| 00:18:12 |
# El Fuego, |
| 00:18:15 |
# quiero what you got. # |
| 00:18:17 |
# El Fuego, |
| 00:18:20 |
# is caliente, hot. # |
| 00:18:22 |
# El Fuego, |
| 00:18:25 |
# Quiero what you got. # |
| 00:18:27 |
# El Fuego, |
| 00:18:30 |
# is caliente, hot. # |
| 00:18:32 |
# El Fuego, |
| 00:18:34 |
# Quiero what you got. # |
| 00:18:37 |
# El Fuego, |
| 00:18:40 |
Oh, Jesus. |
| 00:20:00 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:20:10 |
Gloria... |
| 00:20:31 |
Yeah, si, Pero... |
| 00:20:32 |
Okay. |
| 00:20:44 |
Wow. |
| 00:21:27 |
Hey, hey! |
| 00:22:44 |
and this we pray to you, |
| 00:22:47 |
Jesus Christ. |
| 00:22:51 |
Oh, Oliver. |
| 00:22:52 |
Yes, Oliver. |
| 00:22:53 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:22:54 |
Oh, Jesus. |
| 00:22:56 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. |
| 00:22:58 |
Who the hell |
| 00:23:00 |
Nobody, Oliver. |
| 00:23:01 |
Don't overreact. |
| 00:23:02 |
I'm not overreacting. |
| 00:23:04 |
I mean, how would you |
| 00:23:05 |
If I yelled out |
| 00:23:07 |
In the middle of sex? |
| 00:23:23 |
Nine... |
| 00:23:27 |
Ten. |
| 00:23:29 |
Sorry about that. |
| 00:23:30 |
I'm a bit |
| 00:23:32 |
Since when |
| 00:23:34 |
What are you |
| 00:23:35 |
I found this |
| 00:23:36 |
I thought I'd give my pecs |
| 00:23:38 |
Give your pecs |
| 00:23:40 |
What? |
| 00:23:41 |
I don't know. |
| 00:23:43 |
Something you're not telling me |
| 00:23:45 |
W--w--what |
| 00:23:46 |
I'm screwing around |
| 00:23:48 |
Oh, wait, no. |
| 00:23:49 |
I met some girl |
| 00:23:50 |
And we made jokes about |
| 00:23:52 |
You put over a cup |
| 00:23:54 |
And then we went out to my car, |
| 00:23:57 |
I wasn't saying |
| 00:23:59 |
Well, then can I-- |
| 00:24:00 |
Oh, please, |
| 00:24:04 |
Jeez, you hear that, |
| 00:24:06 |
Questioning |
| 00:24:07 |
My pec juice. |
| 00:24:09 |
Sorry, I didn't mean |
| 00:24:10 |
Where-- |
| 00:24:11 |
Oh, yeah, |
| 00:24:13 |
Here's the third story. |
| 00:24:28 |
Scalpel. |
| 00:24:30 |
Scalpel. |
| 00:24:33 |
forceps. |
| 00:24:34 |
Forceps. |
| 00:24:41 |
Gesundheit. |
| 00:24:44 |
Grover Shepherd scissors. |
| 00:24:46 |
Grover Shepherd scissors. |
| 00:24:52 |
Okay, |
| 00:24:53 |
Good work, |
| 00:24:54 |
Thanks, Nancy. |
| 00:24:56 |
Ooh! |
| 00:25:02 |
Oh, it hurts! |
| 00:25:06 |
You're gonna be okay. |
| 00:25:07 |
Hey, hey, hey, sounds like |
| 00:25:09 |
How we doing today? |
| 00:25:11 |
Thank god you're here, |
| 00:25:12 |
She's been in horrible pain |
| 00:25:14 |
yeah. Yeah, yeah. |
| 00:25:15 |
Oh, yeah, |
| 00:25:16 |
Here, come take a look. |
| 00:25:17 |
Okay. |
| 00:25:22 |
See this? |
| 00:25:23 |
This is Sheila |
| 00:25:25 |
And it's |
| 00:25:27 |
That the sharp |
| 00:25:29 |
Of the Grover Shepherd |
| 00:25:30 |
Is what's causing |
| 00:25:34 |
You left a pair of scissors |
| 00:25:38 |
Yes, that's correct. |
| 00:25:39 |
How can you make |
| 00:25:41 |
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. |
| 00:25:42 |
I did it as a goof. |
| 00:25:44 |
You goofed? |
| 00:25:45 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:25:47 |
As a goof. |
| 00:25:48 |
I did it |
| 00:25:49 |
I-I-I don't get it. |
| 00:25:51 |
Well, clearly, |
| 00:25:52 |
I goof a lot. |
| 00:25:54 |
My friends know |
| 00:25:55 |
That at least |
| 00:25:57 |
I am goofing. |
| 00:25:58 |
The thing is, |
| 00:25:59 |
You need to understand |
| 00:26:01 |
I think that's it. |
| 00:26:02 |
Nancy, |
| 00:26:04 |
When I was operating |
| 00:26:05 |
I dropped the scissors |
| 00:26:07 |
Why did I do that? |
| 00:26:08 |
If I remember correctly, |
| 00:26:12 |
Satisfied? |
| 00:26:13 |
Listen, |
| 00:26:14 |
I want you to get that thing |
| 00:26:20 |
Sheila? |
| 00:26:21 |
Baby? |
| 00:26:22 |
Oh, she's dead. |
| 00:26:24 |
What? |
| 00:26:25 |
Wait, |
| 00:26:26 |
Is this-- |
| 00:26:27 |
No, she's dead. |
| 00:26:28 |
Do you still want me |
| 00:26:30 |
To take the scissors out-- |
| 00:26:31 |
You murdered |
| 00:26:33 |
Hey, guy, |
| 00:26:36 |
Guy, |
| 00:26:37 |
You know what? |
| 00:26:38 |
You're bad vibes. |
| 00:26:41 |
Man, it's not |
| 00:26:46 |
So let me |
| 00:26:49 |
You're saying you dropped |
| 00:26:52 |
Into Mrs. Contiella's body |
| 00:26:57 |
I have been |
| 00:27:00 |
For the last 20 years, |
| 00:27:01 |
A father, |
| 00:27:03 |
A husband. |
| 00:27:08 |
Did you deliberately |
| 00:27:09 |
put the scissors |
| 00:27:12 |
I would never, |
| 00:27:14 |
Do anything |
| 00:27:16 |
unless I was doing it |
| 00:27:17 |
Did you put |
| 00:27:19 |
I am a practicing |
| 00:27:20 |
Did you put |
| 00:27:21 |
For the last |
| 00:27:22 |
Did you put |
| 00:27:23 |
I am not gonna entertain-- |
| 00:27:25 |
Did you put |
| 00:27:26 |
As a goddamn goof! |
| 00:27:36 |
Ladies and Gentlemen |
| 00:27:38 |
I like a goof |
| 00:27:42 |
Hell, in college, |
| 00:27:47 |
Once duct-taped |
| 00:27:49 |
To the inside of the trunk |
| 00:27:53 |
So I get a goof. |
| 00:27:56 |
But there is a goof, |
| 00:27:57 |
And then |
| 00:28:01 |
Objection. |
| 00:28:02 |
Sustained. |
| 00:28:03 |
Overruled. |
| 00:28:07 |
Goofing. |
| 00:28:09 |
It's just-- |
| 00:28:10 |
It's one |
| 00:28:12 |
I have heard enough. |
| 00:28:13 |
I hereby sentence you |
| 00:28:16 |
For the murder |
| 00:28:20 |
Uh, Your Honor. |
| 00:28:23 |
Don't we get a say |
| 00:28:24 |
Sure. |
| 00:28:25 |
You want to go through |
| 00:28:28 |
Be my guest. |
| 00:28:35 |
court is back |
| 00:28:36 |
Please rise for the Honorable |
| 00:28:42 |
Have you reached |
| 00:28:44 |
We, The Jury, |
| 00:28:45 |
Find the defendant |
| 00:28:46 |
Guilty |
| 00:28:48 |
Of murder |
| 00:28:51 |
Uh, not to be a dick |
| 00:28:53 |
But didn't I say that |
| 00:28:56 |
But you insisted |
| 00:28:57 |
But, your honor, that's how |
| 00:28:59 |
Oh, is that how |
| 00:29:03 |
Please, please, |
| 00:29:06 |
About how it all works. |
| 00:29:07 |
I would really |
| 00:29:08 |
So the verdict is, |
| 00:29:12 |
Life in prison |
| 00:29:15 |
Is this a goof? |
| 00:29:16 |
I don't think so. |
| 00:29:18 |
If I could, |
| 00:29:19 |
To death |
| 00:29:23 |
Fucking assholes. |
| 00:29:26 |
Thank you, |
| 00:29:28 |
Uh, |
| 00:29:29 |
You, |
| 00:29:30 |
You're disbarred. |
| 00:29:32 |
Me? Why? |
| 00:29:33 |
What am I gonna do? |
| 00:29:34 |
I hear they're hiring |
| 00:29:36 |
At the nuclear |
| 00:29:38 |
That could work, |
| 00:29:39 |
The hours have got to be |
| 00:29:41 |
You've been very sweet |
| 00:29:43 |
Thank you. |
| 00:30:11 |
From now on, |
| 00:30:14 |
Oh, no, |
| 00:30:17 |
I'm-- |
| 00:30:19 |
So you're probably gonna have |
| 00:30:31 |
You'd better shut the fuck up |
| 00:30:36 |
I'm goofing. |
| 00:30:38 |
Oh. |
| 00:30:42 |
Yeah, okay. |
| 00:30:45 |
Very good. Okay. |
| 00:30:47 |
No, I'm not. |
| 00:30:48 |
Do it. |
| 00:30:51 |
Mm! |
| 00:30:54 |
Are you sure your wife |
| 00:30:56 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:30:57 |
Yeah, she's disassembling |
| 00:30:59 |
And putting in |
| 00:31:00 |
Plus, half her crew |
| 00:31:01 |
So she won't be home |
| 00:31:03 |
Oh, I don't know. |
| 00:31:04 |
Well, what's the alternative? |
| 00:31:06 |
Your roommate's |
| 00:31:08 |
I'll be making love |
| 00:31:09 |
And she'll be |
| 00:31:11 |
Having |
| 00:31:12 |
What's so terrible |
| 00:31:13 |
You know, I think they make |
| 00:31:15 |
Don't get me wrong. |
| 00:31:17 |
I'm all for equal pay. |
| 00:31:18 |
But there are some differences |
| 00:31:21 |
Do I want you |
| 00:31:22 |
I don't think so. |
| 00:31:23 |
The Russians will come in |
| 00:31:25 |
And you guys will be out |
| 00:31:27 |
You know I get so hot |
| 00:31:33 |
So when you gonna break up |
| 00:31:34 |
Soon. Soon. |
| 00:31:36 |
But you've made promises |
| 00:31:37 |
I--I know. |
| 00:31:38 |
Liz, it's complicated. |
| 00:31:39 |
You have to be patient. |
| 00:31:40 |
I know. |
| 00:31:43 |
I'll tell Gretchen |
| 00:31:46 |
Here's the next story. |
| 00:31:48 |
Mm. |
| 00:31:50 |
I'm getting excited. |
| 00:31:53 |
Can you feel me? |
| 00:32:07 |
There you go. |
| 00:32:08 |
Ahh! |
| 00:32:11 |
There you go. |
| 00:32:12 |
Oh, you did it. |
| 00:32:15 |
Is it a boy |
| 00:32:16 |
Let me put it this way: |
| 00:32:18 |
And here comes |
| 00:32:21 |
oh, My God! |
| 00:32:25 |
Oh! |
| 00:32:26 |
Are there any more |
| 00:32:29 |
I love it! |
| 00:32:31 |
Oh. |
| 00:32:33 |
They're my little guys. |
| 00:32:36 |
Oh, I am gonna love you |
| 00:32:55 |
Now that Dad's gone |
| 00:32:59 |
We think it's time for you |
| 00:33:01 |
About what? |
| 00:33:03 |
About the fact |
| 00:33:05 |
And we're black. |
| 00:33:08 |
Ah, right. |
| 00:33:10 |
Yeah, I had a feeling |
| 00:33:13 |
The year |
| 00:33:16 |
I was the entertainment reporter |
| 00:33:19 |
And I had an opportunity |
| 00:33:23 |
Denzel Washington, |
| 00:33:28 |
Sidney Poitier, |
| 00:33:30 |
And even though |
| 00:33:33 |
And very, very much |
| 00:33:36 |
From time to time, |
| 00:33:40 |
These stars would... |
| 00:33:45 |
Fuck me. |
| 00:33:46 |
Mom, cut to the chase. |
| 00:33:47 |
Did you have sex |
| 00:33:49 |
Well, as I said-- |
| 00:33:50 |
Who's our |
| 00:33:52 |
So one night |
| 00:33:56 |
I took the opportunity |
| 00:33:57 |
To fuck |
| 00:34:01 |
And? |
| 00:34:03 |
Do you need me |
| 00:34:05 |
Yes. |
| 00:34:08 |
I... |
| 00:34:11 |
F-u-c-k-e-d... |
| 00:34:17 |
A-r-n-o-l-d |
| 00:34:22 |
S-c-h-- |
| 00:34:25 |
Mom-- |
| 00:34:27 |
W-a-r-e-n... |
| 00:34:34 |
E-g-g... |
| 00:34:37 |
E-r. |
| 00:34:39 |
So you're saying |
| 00:34:42 |
Our biological father? |
| 00:34:43 |
Yes. |
| 00:34:45 |
It's why you're both |
| 00:34:47 |
I always told everyone |
| 00:34:48 |
It was because |
| 00:34:50 |
But how can you |
| 00:34:51 |
I'm positive. |
| 00:34:53 |
He was the only man |
| 00:34:55 |
And I took the blood test |
| 00:34:58 |
How does that explain |
| 00:34:59 |
I know. |
| 00:35:00 |
I know. |
| 00:35:08 |
Boys, |
| 00:35:11 |
I've been thinking |
| 00:35:13 |
And I've decided |
| 00:35:16 |
For you to meet |
| 00:35:18 |
Really? |
| 00:35:20 |
Yes. |
| 00:35:21 |
So without |
| 00:35:25 |
You knew "he'd be back," |
| 00:35:26 |
And here is-- |
| 00:35:28 |
The man, the machine, |
| 00:35:33 |
The incomparable |
| 00:35:39 |
hello, my sons. |
| 00:35:41 |
I'm Arnold. |
| 00:35:43 |
So thrilled to finally meet |
| 00:35:47 |
It will be fantastic. |
| 00:35:48 |
Do you want to go around |
| 00:35:50 |
Something like this? |
| 00:35:51 |
Mom, that's not |
| 00:35:57 |
Arnold, could you wait |
| 00:35:59 |
For just a second? |
| 00:36:00 |
Of course. |
| 00:36:01 |
I'll be back. |
| 00:36:04 |
Look, I tried |
| 00:36:06 |
But he's a major |
| 00:36:08 |
And I couldn't even get past |
| 00:36:10 |
That guy |
| 00:36:11 |
Does corporate events |
| 00:36:13 |
So I thought at least |
| 00:36:15 |
Of what it'd be like |
| 00:36:17 |
Okay, mom. |
| 00:36:18 |
Thanks. |
| 00:36:19 |
We'll try |
| 00:36:21 |
That's my beautiful boys. |
| 00:36:24 |
I'm back. |
| 00:36:26 |
Oh, hey... |
| 00:36:30 |
Dad. |
| 00:36:31 |
Son. |
| 00:36:35 |
Oh, here we go. |
| 00:36:36 |
I'm gonna get you! |
| 00:36:37 |
Oh, good one. |
| 00:36:38 |
You split right. |
| 00:36:41 |
Fantastic! |
| 00:36:44 |
Okay, here we go. |
| 00:36:46 |
Oh, dear. |
| 00:36:52 |
I know this time |
| 00:36:54 |
Must have been |
| 00:36:56 |
On so many levels. |
| 00:36:58 |
One, your father |
| 00:37:01 |
Not more |
| 00:37:03 |
At the young age |
| 00:37:05 |
Finally succumbing, |
| 00:37:06 |
After a courageous battle |
| 00:37:10 |
Two, the revelation |
| 00:37:12 |
That your real |
| 00:37:13 |
Is none other than |
| 00:37:16 |
Turned-California-Governor. |
| 00:37:18 |
You know who he is, |
| 00:37:21 |
And three, |
| 00:37:23 |
Having me, |
| 00:37:25 |
Second-rate |
| 00:37:27 |
Doing 24-hour-day |
| 00:37:30 |
In the effort to make you |
| 00:37:34 |
Com-for-table? |
| 00:37:36 |
And four, the ongoing confusion |
| 00:37:40 |
That you have |
| 00:37:43 |
And yet you yourselves |
| 00:37:44 |
Are quite obviously dark-skinned |
| 00:37:48 |
Must be hard. |
| 00:37:49 |
That really sums it up. |
| 00:37:52 |
You know, you don't always |
| 00:37:54 |
If you don't want to. |
| 00:37:59 |
Listen, |
| 00:38:03 |
Sometimes it's easier for me |
| 00:38:06 |
While doing |
| 00:38:07 |
There are things |
| 00:38:10 |
That Arnold Schwarzenegger |
| 00:38:11 |
That Marc Jacobson can't. |
| 00:38:16 |
Or won't. |
| 00:38:19 |
Come on, race you |
| 00:38:37 |
I let you win |
| 00:38:38 |
You know |
| 00:38:39 |
Oh, look at my boys |
| 00:38:43 |
Mom, was the real |
| 00:38:44 |
As nice as this one? |
| 00:38:46 |
Well, I haven't thought |
| 00:38:47 |
But if I remember... |
| 00:38:51 |
Oh, my god. |
| 00:38:52 |
You're gonna hate me |
| 00:38:54 |
I made a little boo-boo. |
| 00:38:59 |
It wasn't |
| 00:39:03 |
It was Arsenio Hall. |
| 00:39:07 |
well, that explains a lot. |
| 00:39:08 |
So good to finally know |
| 00:39:10 |
What about the blood test |
| 00:39:12 |
They were for |
| 00:39:14 |
Oh. |
| 00:39:17 |
So where does that |
| 00:39:18 |
Well, can you do Arsenio? |
| 00:39:22 |
No. |
| 00:39:24 |
I can do |
| 00:39:26 |
A while back, |
| 00:39:27 |
A pretty good Eddie Murphy. |
| 00:39:28 |
That's fine. |
| 00:39:29 |
Same difference. |
| 00:39:31 |
Yeah? Okay. |
| 00:39:32 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:39:34 |
I got some ice cream. |
| 00:39:36 |
You cannot have none, |
| 00:39:38 |
'cause you on welfare. |
| 00:39:39 |
I'm Gumby, damn it. |
| 00:39:40 |
Psych! |
| 00:39:42 |
Remember? |
| 00:39:43 |
Yeah. |
| 00:39:44 |
I got |
| 00:39:45 |
Yeah. |
| 00:39:46 |
You may think our family's |
| 00:39:49 |
But you know what? |
| 00:39:50 |
It's our family, |
| 00:39:53 |
Who's to say |
| 00:39:55 |
Is it the person |
| 00:39:57 |
Is it the person |
| 00:39:59 |
Or maybe it's the guy |
| 00:40:01 |
Doing an imitation |
| 00:40:03 |
Who is the same race |
| 00:40:05 |
Who is |
| 00:40:07 |
If you ask us, |
| 00:40:10 |
The guy who hangs out |
| 00:40:12 |
Doing an imitation |
| 00:40:13 |
Who's the same race |
| 00:40:16 |
Who is |
| 00:40:18 |
I'm Greg Jaffe. |
| 00:40:19 |
And I'm Taye Jaffe. |
| 00:40:20 |
and we are |
| 00:40:23 |
Good night, |
| 00:40:27 |
# # |
| 00:40:35 |
Gretchen is a terrific wife, |
| 00:40:37 |
But Liz-- |
| 00:40:40 |
And vital and vibrant, |
| 00:40:43 |
And the sex-- |
| 00:40:45 |
Yeah, but is it |
| 00:40:47 |
I mean, is it worth throwing |
| 00:40:49 |
For a momentary thrill? |
| 00:40:50 |
Monogamy is a myth. |
| 00:40:52 |
It's a myth. |
| 00:40:54 |
No, monogamy is what keeps |
| 00:40:56 |
That's absolutely |
| 00:40:57 |
We are biochemically engineered |
| 00:41:00 |
And the moment |
| 00:41:02 |
The happier |
| 00:41:03 |
I'm happy |
| 00:41:04 |
He's not. |
| 00:41:05 |
You convinced yourself |
| 00:41:06 |
But you're not. |
| 00:41:07 |
I mean, is it great |
| 00:41:08 |
No, but I, you know, |
| 00:41:09 |
To shield out |
| 00:41:10 |
If I can get my milk |
| 00:41:11 |
For free, |
| 00:41:12 |
You can be damn sure |
| 00:41:14 |
I'm gonna start |
| 00:41:15 |
That's easy |
| 00:41:16 |
Literally, |
| 00:41:17 |
You've never been married. |
| 00:41:19 |
I'm so serious, |
| 00:41:20 |
They're the ones that keep me |
| 00:41:22 |
When I wake up |
| 00:41:23 |
You are living |
| 00:41:24 |
Okay, maybe so, |
| 00:41:25 |
But I take a pill, |
| 00:41:27 |
Oh, I don't know |
| 00:41:29 |
Abe or Scotty? |
| 00:41:31 |
Scotty or Abe? |
| 00:41:34 |
I do know this: |
| 00:41:37 |
And I'm not gonna |
| 00:41:39 |
I promise you that. |
| 00:42:17 |
son of a bitch. |
| 00:42:19 |
Paul went and bought himself |
| 00:42:23 |
a CAT Scan Machine? |
| 00:42:25 |
Like a hospital |
| 00:42:26 |
Why would he do that? |
| 00:42:27 |
That seems ridiculous. |
| 00:42:29 |
Probably wants |
| 00:42:39 |
You know what? |
| 00:42:42 |
We're gonna get |
| 00:42:44 |
Honey, you wouldn't know |
| 00:42:46 |
About what to do |
| 00:42:48 |
We'll figure it out. |
| 00:42:49 |
If I can set up |
| 00:42:50 |
I can set up |
| 00:42:51 |
I set up the VCR. |
| 00:42:53 |
Ray! |
| 00:42:54 |
I didn't mean it. |
| 00:42:55 |
I'm sorry, |
| 00:42:57 |
You know Daddy |
| 00:42:58 |
# Daddy loves |
| 00:43:00 |
I did set up |
| 00:43:02 |
Ray! |
| 00:43:03 |
I didn't mean it. |
| 00:43:06 |
You know Daddy |
| 00:43:08 |
# Daddy loves |
| 00:43:09 |
I love you too, |
| 00:43:10 |
Ray! |
| 00:43:12 |
What? |
| 00:43:20 |
Unbelievable. |
| 00:43:22 |
What's the big deal, dad? |
| 00:43:24 |
Paul! |
| 00:43:25 |
Oh, my god, Kalen. |
| 00:43:26 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 00:43:29 |
Nice and easy. |
| 00:43:30 |
Watch the curb. |
| 00:43:31 |
Right up there. |
| 00:43:32 |
Son of a bitch! |
| 00:43:36 |
I got to get |
| 00:43:52 |
Jesus Christ, |
| 00:43:59 |
Come on, Ray. |
| 00:44:00 |
Don't be ridic--oh! |
| 00:44:06 |
I'm sorry, honey. |
| 00:44:11 |
don't look at him. |
| 00:44:14 |
Get in the car. |
| 00:44:16 |
wh--why? |
| 00:44:18 |
this is why. |
| 00:44:20 |
I don't want to talk |
| 00:44:22 |
I'm done with you. |
| 00:45:25 |
Oh! |
| 00:45:27 |
Son of a bitch! |
| 00:45:44 |
Hey. |
| 00:45:45 |
Hey. |
| 00:45:46 |
You look like shit. |
| 00:45:49 |
So do you. |
| 00:45:51 |
Yeah, I-- |
| 00:45:52 |
Right. |
| 00:45:56 |
Let me ask you something. |
| 00:45:58 |
Do you give the guys that |
| 00:46:00 |
I usually throw them |
| 00:46:02 |
So they can grab |
| 00:46:03 |
Five bucks? |
| 00:46:05 |
Where do you get lunch |
| 00:46:07 |
McDownald's. |
| 00:46:10 |
Boorger king. |
| 00:46:12 |
Woondy's. |
| 00:46:13 |
I love it. |
| 00:46:14 |
Little changes |
| 00:46:16 |
Of the most famous |
| 00:46:18 |
That's right. |
| 00:46:20 |
I really do |
| 00:46:25 |
Thanks. |
| 00:46:29 |
This is |
| 00:46:32 |
Where the nuclear power |
| 00:46:34 |
So you can all plug in |
| 00:46:37 |
Doesn't it look like |
| 00:46:39 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:46:40 |
We have a perfect |
| 00:46:42 |
We know |
| 00:46:45 |
attention. |
| 00:46:46 |
This is not a drill. |
| 00:46:49 |
It's happening. |
| 00:46:51 |
It's happening! |
| 00:46:52 |
No, no, no, |
| 00:46:55 |
There are 75 kids |
| 00:46:57 |
Who may have |
| 00:46:58 |
To dangerous levels |
| 00:47:00 |
What the hell |
| 00:47:02 |
They're at risk |
| 00:47:03 |
All of them tested |
| 00:47:05 |
Impossible. |
| 00:47:07 |
Where are we gonna find |
| 00:47:08 |
For every kid |
| 00:47:10 |
I have an idea! |
| 00:47:11 |
What is it, son? |
| 00:47:13 |
Okay, |
| 00:47:15 |
We get ten |
| 00:47:16 |
And America votes on which one |
| 00:47:18 |
What's the hook? |
| 00:47:20 |
Is there a host, |
| 00:47:22 |
I don't know! |
| 00:47:23 |
It's just a seed |
| 00:47:25 |
I haven't really |
| 00:47:26 |
All right, |
| 00:47:28 |
But we're gonna have |
| 00:47:29 |
When I can really focus. |
| 00:47:30 |
Wait a second! |
| 00:47:31 |
Doesn't your dad |
| 00:47:33 |
Have a whole bunch |
| 00:47:52 |
Oh, come on! |
| 00:47:53 |
There's nobody here! |
| 00:47:56 |
No, there's no one |
| 00:47:57 |
I don't have my key! |
| 00:48:29 |
# people are talking, |
| 00:48:34 |
# I hear them whisper. # |
| 00:48:36 |
# you won't believe it. # |
| 00:48:38 |
# they think we're lovers |
| 00:48:43 |
# I just ignore it. # |
| 00:48:44 |
It's nice to take a break |
| 00:48:46 |
Get out of the house. |
| 00:48:48 |
You said it, neighbor. |
| 00:48:51 |
Salut. |
| 00:48:52 |
Clink! |
| 00:48:54 |
# we stand |
| 00:48:56 |
# we stare |
| 00:49:02 |
# maybe they're seeing |
| 00:49:06 |
# let's give them something |
| 00:49:10 |
open the door. |
| 00:49:12 |
Open the door. |
| 00:49:15 |
The kids are just-- |
| 00:49:16 |
They're just |
| 00:49:28 |
another beer, |
| 00:49:30 |
Yeah, I'll take one. |
| 00:49:31 |
I'll take two. |
| 00:49:38 |
You son of a bitch. |
| 00:49:40 |
This guy. |
| 00:49:41 |
Come on! |
| 00:49:43 |
Don't you die on me, |
| 00:49:44 |
Not now, |
| 00:49:46 |
We have a breaking news story. |
| 00:49:48 |
75 children |
| 00:49:50 |
Of radiation poisoning |
| 00:49:51 |
As a result of an accident |
| 00:49:53 |
Their lives |
| 00:49:55 |
If they'd been able |
| 00:49:56 |
To either of two houses |
| 00:49:58 |
Each of which |
| 00:49:59 |
Dozens of lifesaving |
| 00:50:02 |
Collected |
| 00:50:03 |
By their homeowners, |
| 00:50:05 |
Who are inexplicably |
| 00:50:07 |
Among the many casualties |
| 00:50:08 |
Was nuclear power plant |
| 00:50:10 |
And former criminal prosecutor |
| 00:50:12 |
The details are sketchy |
| 00:50:13 |
But we'll keep you updated live |
| 00:50:16 |
I'm gonna probably |
| 00:50:17 |
It's late. |
| 00:50:18 |
Check. |
| 00:50:20 |
# let's give them something |
| 00:50:22 |
you've been screwing her |
| 00:50:24 |
It's over. |
| 00:50:25 |
Gretchen. |
| 00:50:26 |
Get the fuck |
| 00:50:27 |
I'm done with your-- |
| 00:50:30 |
And your fucking |
| 00:50:33 |
Well, where am i |
| 00:50:35 |
You can go to hell |
| 00:50:37 |
Go move in with |
| 00:50:39 |
She's not |
| 00:50:40 |
She's an avid film buff. |
| 00:50:42 |
She also considers herself |
| 00:50:44 |
And a prestidigitator. |
| 00:50:45 |
You know what, Gretchen? |
| 00:50:47 |
Don't say something |
| 00:50:48 |
Go... |
| 00:50:49 |
I'm warning you, Jeff. |
| 00:50:50 |
Fly... |
| 00:50:51 |
Don't you say it! |
| 00:50:52 |
Go fly a kite, |
| 00:50:55 |
Go fly a kite. |
| 00:50:57 |
You didn't. |
| 00:50:59 |
You did not. |
| 00:51:00 |
You motherfucker! |
| 00:51:08 |
# how about love, |
| 00:51:10 |
okay, okay, |
| 00:51:13 |
Speaking of something |
| 00:51:15 |
Sunny, mild, warm, |
| 00:51:18 |
Ladies might want |
| 00:51:19 |
Let's get back |
| 00:51:22 |
# two feet |
| 00:51:25 |
What's up, brother? |
| 00:51:41 |
Hey. |
| 00:51:43 |
I don't think we've met. |
| 00:51:45 |
Just transferred |
| 00:51:46 |
Oh, hi. |
| 00:51:47 |
Glenn Richie. |
| 00:51:49 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:51:51 |
You're the doctor that killed |
| 00:51:53 |
Well, |
| 00:51:54 |
yeah. |
| 00:51:56 |
Sure, it was a goof. |
| 00:51:57 |
Oh, well, I'm glad |
| 00:52:00 |
Oy. |
| 00:52:04 |
Hey, Glenn, |
| 00:52:07 |
I haven't been on the outside |
| 00:52:11 |
Any new good sushi joints |
| 00:52:13 |
Oh, well-- |
| 00:52:14 |
Oh, were you around |
| 00:52:16 |
No, is it good? |
| 00:52:17 |
Oh, are you kidding me? |
| 00:52:18 |
These guys got |
| 00:52:19 |
It is better |
| 00:52:21 |
Come on. |
| 00:52:22 |
They got a softshell crab roll |
| 00:52:24 |
Wow. |
| 00:52:26 |
Well, I'm in for life |
| 00:52:27 |
Well, if, for whatever reason, |
| 00:52:29 |
There won't be |
| 00:52:32 |
But we don't get sushi |
| 00:52:33 |
Oh, I wish we did. |
| 00:52:36 |
I'm a sushi fiend. |
| 00:52:39 |
Are you kidding? |
| 00:52:40 |
I'm addicted to it. |
| 00:52:41 |
hey, Paco. I'm open. |
| 00:52:48 |
Whatever. |
| 00:52:50 |
So? |
| 00:52:52 |
Hey, um, Glenn, |
| 00:52:53 |
Would you mind sitting |
| 00:52:54 |
While I do some reps? |
| 00:52:56 |
Oh, wow, Duane, |
| 00:52:58 |
But I don't think |
| 00:53:01 |
I'm kind of with |
| 00:53:03 |
He--he rapes me |
| 00:53:05 |
Right, right. |
| 00:53:07 |
He ass-rapes you, |
| 00:53:08 |
Yep. |
| 00:53:09 |
Wow, just my luck. |
| 00:53:12 |
Should have known |
| 00:53:18 |
But we can just do |
| 00:53:23 |
You know what? |
| 00:53:25 |
It's just two people |
| 00:53:27 |
Juicing their pecs. |
| 00:53:28 |
Yeah, come on. |
| 00:53:30 |
Right? |
| 00:53:31 |
I could always use |
| 00:53:32 |
Who can't? |
| 00:53:33 |
I mean, I think safety first, |
| 00:53:35 |
there you go. |
| 00:53:36 |
Three more, Duane? |
| 00:53:38 |
Feel the burn. |
| 00:53:40 |
Feel the burn, |
| 00:53:41 |
Oh, oh. |
| 00:53:44 |
Break it up. |
| 00:53:52 |
That was interesting. |
| 00:53:54 |
I'd say. |
| 00:53:58 |
Hey, listen, |
| 00:53:59 |
I know your ass |
| 00:54:01 |
And I totally-- |
| 00:54:05 |
But you and I, |
| 00:54:08 |
You know, like that time |
| 00:54:10 |
And I said, |
| 00:54:12 |
And you said, |
| 00:54:13 |
Then you said, |
| 00:54:14 |
Those are the kind of moment |
| 00:54:17 |
Sometimes I wonder |
| 00:54:19 |
What it would be like |
| 00:54:21 |
Who were ass-raping you |
| 00:54:26 |
You know, |
| 00:54:28 |
The energy |
| 00:54:30 |
And you're projecting it |
| 00:54:32 |
Into something else |
| 00:54:33 |
No, Glenn, |
| 00:54:39 |
I'm not projecting. |
| 00:54:40 |
I can't look at you |
| 00:54:42 |
Without fantasizing |
| 00:54:44 |
About shoving you |
| 00:54:45 |
In the laundry room |
| 00:54:48 |
And punching you |
| 00:54:51 |
And then raping you |
| 00:54:54 |
Without your consent, |
| 00:54:56 |
Hey, that's what |
| 00:55:01 |
That's what |
| 00:55:07 |
Look, Duane. |
| 00:55:09 |
But? |
| 00:55:11 |
But I--I can't just |
| 00:55:15 |
It's not |
| 00:55:22 |
I think I'm done |
| 00:55:23 |
Duane, don't be |
| 00:55:25 |
No. |
| 00:55:28 |
I got nothing left. |
| 00:55:31 |
See you around. |
| 00:55:33 |
Duane. |
| 00:55:45 |
what the fuck |
| 00:55:48 |
Ahh! |
| 00:56:02 |
okay, Doctor. |
| 00:56:03 |
It's that time |
| 00:56:12 |
Buster, |
| 00:56:14 |
Oh, no. |
| 00:56:16 |
No, don't tell me. |
| 00:56:23 |
Duane--wow. |
| 00:56:26 |
I thought this |
| 00:56:28 |
Duane Rosenblum |
| 00:56:30 |
And I'm not sure |
| 00:56:32 |
Not be his bitch. |
| 00:56:35 |
Tell me |
| 00:56:37 |
No, not this time. |
| 00:56:41 |
You and I have been going |
| 00:56:44 |
We both know that. |
| 00:56:45 |
At this point, we're more |
| 00:56:51 |
I knew this day |
| 00:56:56 |
Glenn, listen to me. |
| 00:56:58 |
You have to do |
| 00:57:01 |
As long as you're |
| 00:57:04 |
Against your will |
| 00:57:07 |
Every night, |
| 00:57:11 |
Then that's |
| 00:57:13 |
Really? |
| 00:57:23 |
Nothing. |
| 00:57:26 |
Go on. |
| 00:57:29 |
Get out of here. |
| 00:57:32 |
Go on! |
| 00:57:43 |
Hey, you busy? |
| 00:57:47 |
No. |
| 00:57:49 |
I was gonna fold |
| 00:57:51 |
But I can do that later. |
| 00:57:56 |
What's up? |
| 00:57:57 |
Well, I just talked |
| 00:58:00 |
Looks like |
| 00:58:02 |
Glenn. |
| 00:58:06 |
This is wonderful! |
| 00:58:10 |
You know what this means, |
| 00:58:12 |
Yes. |
| 00:58:15 |
I do. |
| 00:58:19 |
ow, ow, ow, ow. |
| 00:58:26 |
What's the matter, |
| 00:58:34 |
The King's a beggar. |
| 00:58:36 |
Now the play is done. |
| 00:58:39 |
All is well ended |
| 00:58:42 |
That you express content, |
| 00:58:46 |
With strife to please you, |
| 00:58:51 |
Ours be your patience then |
| 00:58:53 |
And yours our parts. |
| 00:58:56 |
Your gentle hands lend us |
| 00:59:03 |
All's well that ends well. |
| 00:59:06 |
fucking baby. |
| 00:59:10 |
Lights out! |
| 00:59:19 |
Hi, honey bunny, |
| 00:59:22 |
Boozie pumpkin butt! |
| 00:59:24 |
Mwah! |
| 00:59:26 |
Have you |
| 00:59:27 |
No, just a little |
| 00:59:33 |
Oh, I know this bouncer |
| 00:59:35 |
And I think we should |
| 00:59:36 |
I had an idea. |
| 00:59:38 |
How about you and I, |
| 00:59:39 |
We can read from that book |
| 00:59:41 |
That I bought you. |
| 00:59:42 |
No. Don't be |
| 00:59:44 |
I want to go out. |
| 00:59:45 |
I want to party |
| 00:59:48 |
Whoo! |
| 00:59:52 |
You still love me, |
| 00:59:54 |
I mean, you don't regret |
| 00:59:55 |
Leaving Gretchen for me, |
| 00:59:57 |
Of--of course not. |
| 00:59:59 |
Yay! |
| 01:00:00 |
Will you buy me |
| 01:00:02 |
Oh, man. |
| 01:00:04 |
Oh, man. |
| 01:00:06 |
I don't know. I-- |
| 01:00:09 |
# who am I, # |
| 01:00:12 |
# and where do |
| 01:00:15 |
# from here? # |
| 01:00:32 |
Hey! |
| 01:00:35 |
yes, please. |
| 01:00:36 |
Right here. |
| 01:00:38 |
Have fun, you guys. |
| 01:00:39 |
Thanks. |
| 01:00:40 |
Hey! |
| 01:00:42 |
Table for two? |
| 01:00:44 |
Louis, you may be |
| 01:00:48 |
Of the La Fonda list |
| 01:00:50 |
And you may be Kelly, |
| 01:00:52 |
The former girlfriend |
| 01:00:54 |
That guy who's still stuck |
| 01:00:56 |
But tonight, we are the two |
| 01:00:59 |
In the entire world, |
| 01:01:00 |
And I couldn't |
| 01:01:04 |
ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:01:05 |
Please welcome |
| 01:01:07 |
And his better half, |
| 01:01:13 |
well, thank you. |
| 01:01:14 |
Howdy, folks. |
| 01:01:15 |
And I'm Gary, |
| 01:01:19 |
Gary-- |
| 01:01:23 |
Oh, somebody's |
| 01:01:24 |
Gary, leave |
| 01:01:25 |
Fuck you. |
| 01:01:27 |
Me? |
| 01:01:28 |
Of course |
| 01:01:31 |
I'm not talking |
| 01:01:32 |
My name's Kelly. |
| 01:01:33 |
Kelly, ooh. |
| 01:01:34 |
Gary. |
| 01:01:35 |
Hey, Kelly, why don't you |
| 01:01:37 |
And I'll show you |
| 01:01:39 |
Oh, my god! |
| 01:01:40 |
This guy |
| 01:01:41 |
He's not funny |
| 01:01:42 |
Shh! I want to hear |
| 01:01:44 |
Hey, asshole, |
| 01:01:46 |
So I can blow |
| 01:01:49 |
He said "juke joint." |
| 01:01:54 |
Oh, my god. |
| 01:01:57 |
I think he was kidding |
| 01:01:59 |
I think it was just |
| 01:02:00 |
Louis, can you shut up |
| 01:02:02 |
Honey, I just think |
| 01:02:04 |
I would love |
| 01:02:06 |
And go back |
| 01:02:07 |
Ew, Louis. |
| 01:02:09 |
I just ate |
| 01:02:13 |
Oh, hey, folks. |
| 01:02:15 |
Hi. |
| 01:02:16 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 01:02:17 |
Can I talk to Gary? |
| 01:02:19 |
Um... |
| 01:02:21 |
Sure. |
| 01:02:22 |
Okay. |
| 01:02:25 |
God damn it. |
| 01:02:28 |
Hey, there, |
| 01:02:29 |
Glad you liked |
| 01:02:31 |
Why don't you get rid |
| 01:02:32 |
So we can really talk, |
| 01:02:34 |
Are you gonna show me |
| 01:02:38 |
Like you said |
| 01:02:42 |
Yeah, I--I got |
| 01:02:43 |
Well, wait. |
| 01:02:45 |
You want to come out |
| 01:02:46 |
Honey, I think-- |
| 01:02:47 |
I will smack you |
| 01:02:50 |
What do you say, |
| 01:02:52 |
Want to throw back |
| 01:02:53 |
He's a little tired. |
| 01:02:55 |
We're gonna say |
| 01:02:56 |
Oh, are you two homo? |
| 01:03:01 |
Okay, no, I'm not gay. |
| 01:03:04 |
And Gary isn't gay, |
| 01:03:06 |
That I ordered |
| 01:03:07 |
In Chicago, okay? |
| 01:03:09 |
Good night. |
| 01:03:14 |
Kelly, let's-- |
| 01:03:17 |
Come on. |
| 01:03:19 |
Let's just-- |
| 01:03:27 |
You know, I was really hoping |
| 01:03:30 |
Yeah, well, |
| 01:03:32 |
Oh, really? |
| 01:03:33 |
Because I could come... |
| 01:03:35 |
With you. |
| 01:03:39 |
Just come with you. |
| 01:03:55 |
Hi, there. |
| 01:03:56 |
Oh, god, |
| 01:03:57 |
I've been thinking about you |
| 01:04:00 |
I even rubbed one out |
| 01:04:02 |
When my husband |
| 01:04:05 |
I wouldn't make you |
| 01:04:19 |
Come on, Gary. |
| 01:04:21 |
Let's blow |
| 01:04:26 |
You're being coy, |
| 01:04:39 |
Hi. |
| 01:04:48 |
# give me love. # |
| 01:04:55 |
# forgive me, love. # |
| 01:04:56 |
room, please? |
| 01:04:57 |
# don't leave me, love, # |
| 01:05:00 |
# leave me here to... # |
| 01:05:03 |
# brave the winds of age # |
| 01:05:06 |
# without you by my side. # |
| 01:05:10 |
# forgive me, love. # |
| 01:05:12 |
# don't leave me, love. # |
| 01:05:15 |
# I'm just a fool. # |
| 01:05:17 |
# burn the bed we made |
| 01:05:22 |
So you say the last time |
| 01:05:24 |
Was about 11:00 p.M.? |
| 01:05:25 |
That's right. |
| 01:05:26 |
Got it. |
| 01:05:27 |
All right. |
| 01:05:28 |
I think you should call |
| 01:05:32 |
Oh, come on. |
| 01:06:12 |
stop it! Stop it! |
| 01:06:15 |
We should probably |
| 01:06:19 |
Wait. |
| 01:06:23 |
I don't love you |
| 01:06:26 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:06:28 |
I thought I did, |
| 01:06:29 |
I haven't been happy |
| 01:06:33 |
We're still doing |
| 01:06:35 |
I don't even know |
| 01:06:37 |
Yes, you were there |
| 01:06:39 |
When my fiance was embedded |
| 01:06:41 |
Still is. |
| 01:06:43 |
And still is. |
| 01:06:44 |
You say you want |
| 01:06:45 |
When was the last time |
| 01:06:49 |
Rebecca, the hostess, |
| 01:06:51 |
She is dying |
| 01:06:54 |
How many signals |
| 01:06:56 |
So our marriage |
| 01:07:07 |
It's okay. |
| 01:07:11 |
Maybe you're right. |
| 01:07:14 |
I know I'm right, |
| 01:07:18 |
# mama loves |
| 01:07:22 |
I think I should get in touch |
| 01:07:25 |
I'm sure she'd love |
| 01:07:29 |
# hold her, boxed in. # |
| 01:07:33 |
# troubled and human. # |
| 01:07:37 |
# help me lose this |
| 01:07:45 |
# I'm fine. I'm found. |
| 01:07:53 |
# I climb this mountain |
| 01:07:56 |
God, this so crazy. |
| 01:07:59 |
I've never felt |
| 01:08:01 |
# in this prison |
| 01:08:55 |
Jeff, wha--what are you |
| 01:08:58 |
Gretchen. |
| 01:08:59 |
Hey, I--I was in |
| 01:09:01 |
I thought I'd come by |
| 01:09:04 |
You know, it's not really |
| 01:09:06 |
Why don't you |
| 01:09:07 |
Can I come in |
| 01:09:09 |
Tomorrow, I might not |
| 01:09:11 |
Gretchen, |
| 01:09:13 |
Oh, Jeff, |
| 01:09:16 |
You know |
| 01:09:19 |
So are you |
| 01:09:21 |
Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:09:23 |
Yeah. |
| 01:09:24 |
How's--how's Liz? |
| 01:09:26 |
Good, good. |
| 01:09:28 |
We're looking |
| 01:09:29 |
Oh, a pony |
| 01:09:34 |
Listen, Jeff. |
| 01:09:35 |
Like I said, this is really |
| 01:09:37 |
For you |
| 01:09:38 |
No worries. |
| 01:09:40 |
It's good to see you, |
| 01:09:41 |
You look great. |
| 01:09:44 |
You always look great. |
| 01:09:45 |
You look tired. |
| 01:09:48 |
Are you taking |
| 01:09:49 |
Gretchen, |
| 01:09:50 |
Could I talk to you |
| 01:09:51 |
Without you hammering me |
| 01:09:54 |
Fine! |
| 01:09:55 |
I'm getting my Omega 3 |
| 01:09:58 |
I'm just not taking it |
| 01:10:00 |
This is why. |
| 01:10:02 |
Yeah, this is why. |
| 01:10:05 |
Have a good life, |
| 01:10:08 |
You too, Gretchen. |
| 01:10:16 |
You too. |
| 01:10:21 |
Here's the, uh-- |
| 01:11:02 |
Hey, |
| 01:11:04 |
What a night. |
| 01:11:06 |
I'm definitely gonna need |
| 01:11:09 |
I know what you need, kid. |
| 01:11:12 |
You need |
| 01:11:16 |
Looks just like |
| 01:11:17 |
Why do you call it |
| 01:11:20 |
That's a good question. |
| 01:11:22 |
And there is a story, |
| 01:11:24 |
The lying Rhino |
| 01:11:28 |
and he was a liar. |
| 01:11:29 |
hold on a second. |
| 01:11:30 |
Before he was a liar, |
| 01:11:32 |
On the lower east side |
| 01:11:34 |
no, no. |
| 01:11:36 |
The story starts way before |
| 01:11:38 |
are you gonna tell |
| 01:11:40 |
tell the story. |
| 01:11:42 |
the first lying Rhino story |
| 01:11:43 |
Was how he dropped out |
| 01:11:45 |
Now he's working as a locksmith |
| 01:11:49 |
Suffice it to say, he wasn't |
| 01:11:51 |
he was terrible. |
| 01:11:53 |
primarily because |
| 01:11:55 |
You want |
| 01:11:57 |
Here. |
| 01:11:58 |
You'll pay for that, |
| 01:12:03 |
so that's why they call this |
| 01:12:05 |
oh, no, no, |
| 01:12:07 |
A few years later, |
| 01:12:08 |
The Rhino was working |
| 01:12:11 |
Give me a second, |
| 01:12:12 |
I don't have all night. |
| 01:12:13 |
Does that thing work |
| 01:12:15 |
Stop talking to me |
| 01:12:18 |
You know what? |
| 01:12:20 |
Forget it. |
| 01:12:22 |
God, |
| 01:12:23 |
this guy couldn't keep a job. |
| 01:12:26 |
Then one night, |
| 01:12:28 |
Playing piano |
| 01:12:34 |
Take it, |
| 01:12:35 |
And two, three, four. |
| 01:12:38 |
You're fired! |
| 01:12:40 |
What? |
| 01:12:41 |
'cause I feel passion |
| 01:12:45 |
oh! |
| 01:12:53 |
you see that bee |
| 01:12:55 |
Yeah. |
| 01:12:56 |
You know what I heard? |
| 01:12:58 |
He's a card-carrying member |
| 01:12:59 |
Of the organization |
| 01:13:04 |
Yeah, |
| 01:13:06 |
Yeah? |
| 01:13:08 |
I shit you not. |
| 01:13:09 |
Hey, guess what I hear |
| 01:13:11 |
I hear |
| 01:13:13 |
I heard what you |
| 01:13:17 |
Oh, my wing! |
| 01:13:19 |
the Rhino finally found |
| 01:13:22 |
Spreading lies. |
| 01:13:25 |
Hey, I hear she sucked |
| 01:13:27 |
At her bachelorette |
| 01:13:29 |
Oh! |
| 01:13:30 |
Did you hear |
| 01:13:31 |
She's on meds |
| 01:13:33 |
I'd stay away |
| 01:13:34 |
From saint Geraldine's |
| 01:13:36 |
Word is the principal there |
| 01:13:39 |
Rhino was on top of the world. |
| 01:13:41 |
Hey, Rhino, baby, |
| 01:13:43 |
Yo, Rhino, |
| 01:13:44 |
I heard you got |
| 01:13:45 |
Uh, I was wondering |
| 01:13:47 |
You'd like to tell me. |
| 01:13:48 |
but it wasn't long |
| 01:13:50 |
Before everyone |
| 01:13:53 |
Get out of here, |
| 01:13:54 |
Hey, talk to somebody |
| 01:13:56 |
Liar, liar. |
| 01:13:57 |
Get the fuck |
| 01:13:59 |
Hey, Darrell, |
| 01:14:01 |
Did you hear what happened |
| 01:14:03 |
Did you hear what happened |
| 01:14:05 |
Ow! |
| 01:14:06 |
Oh! |
| 01:14:07 |
Oof! |
| 01:14:11 |
Splat! |
| 01:14:13 |
so one day, he's out |
| 01:14:16 |
And he hears something: |
| 01:14:17 |
Weiner dogs, |
| 01:14:20 |
And they're all |
| 01:14:23 |
With a deadly |
| 01:14:26 |
And they're planning |
| 01:14:28 |
And infect |
| 01:14:30 |
so the Rhino wants |
| 01:14:33 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:14:35 |
Why don't these weiner dogs |
| 01:14:40 |
They're immune to it. |
| 01:14:41 |
Everybody, do not have sex |
| 01:14:45 |
They're planning |
| 01:14:48 |
Come on. |
| 01:14:49 |
You never |
| 01:14:50 |
You always lie. |
| 01:14:51 |
Why should we |
| 01:14:53 |
Hey, hey, hey, everybody. |
| 01:14:54 |
Let's have sex |
| 01:14:56 |
Hmm, I don't know. |
| 01:14:58 |
Who you gonna believe, |
| 01:15:31 |
so what happened to him? |
| 01:15:33 |
he moved back to Portland, |
| 01:15:36 |
Started wearing |
| 01:15:38 |
And eventually |
| 01:15:40 |
Thanks, man. |
| 01:15:41 |
so why do you call |
| 01:15:43 |
Because he delivers it here |
| 01:15:45 |
Every day. |
| 01:15:47 |
Gentlemen. |
| 01:15:48 |
Rhino! |
| 01:15:50 |
Later on, |
| 01:15:51 |
That's the Rhino? |
| 01:15:57 |
this is the place. |
| 01:15:59 |
Not much to look at. |
| 01:16:01 |
What you see |
| 01:16:02 |
Well, what do you expect |
| 01:16:05 |
The inner-- |
| 01:16:07 |
What you see |
| 01:16:09 |
Well, what do you expect |
| 01:16:11 |
The International Space Station |
| 01:16:13 |
Over there |
| 01:16:16 |
I'll take it, Mr.-- |
| 01:16:18 |
Dalton, |
| 01:16:20 |
Like 007, right? |
| 01:16:22 |
That's right. |
| 01:16:26 |
Here's the keys. |
| 01:16:46 |
Hey. |
| 01:16:48 |
Hey. |
| 01:16:50 |
No. |
| 01:16:51 |
Come on. |
| 01:16:53 |
Sorry. |
| 01:17:00 |
how have you been? |
| 01:17:02 |
We talked |
| 01:17:05 |
How's Liz doing? |
| 01:17:07 |
Oh, we broke up. |
| 01:17:08 |
She was too young. |
| 01:17:10 |
How's Jim Stansel? |
| 01:17:12 |
No, it didn't |
| 01:17:14 |
His penis |
| 01:17:15 |
I mean, it was great |
| 01:17:18 |
I mean, god, |
| 01:17:20 |
Sometimes I just |
| 01:17:22 |
And I--I have |
| 01:17:25 |
Oh. |
| 01:17:26 |
Let me see. |
| 01:17:28 |
No. |
| 01:17:29 |
Oh, wait. |
| 01:17:31 |
Yup, |
| 01:17:34 |
But, you know, |
| 01:17:37 |
Anyway, |
| 01:17:39 |
Uh, I got |
| 01:17:41 |
It's an empty black void |
| 01:17:43 |
Right. Right. |
| 01:17:45 |
Good to see |
| 01:17:46 |
Gretchen, I never got |
| 01:17:51 |
About the whole |
| 01:17:55 |
It was way |
| 01:17:58 |
No one should ever |
| 01:17:59 |
Not after what happened |
| 01:18:02 |
And the kite |
| 01:18:05 |
Thank you. |
| 01:18:09 |
Would you maybe want to grab |
| 01:18:13 |
Oh, I'd love to, |
| 01:18:15 |
I got married, |
| 01:18:16 |
And I don't want to make |
| 01:18:18 |
You know, adultery. |
| 01:18:22 |
Oh, who are you |
| 01:18:24 |
Dianne Wiest. |
| 01:18:26 |
Wow. |
| 01:18:27 |
I loved her |
| 01:18:28 |
Oh, yeah, she's really proud |
| 01:18:30 |
And the Oscar |
| 01:18:33 |
Plus, the residual checks |
| 01:18:35 |
It's like, "thanks, Woody," |
| 01:18:37 |
Right. |
| 01:18:39 |
It was good |
| 01:18:40 |
You too. |
| 01:18:41 |
Yeah. |
| 01:19:00 |
Oh, Gretchen, |
| 01:19:01 |
I want you back. |
| 01:19:02 |
Yes--oh, no. |
| 01:19:04 |
What about |
| 01:19:05 |
Oh, fuck me. |
| 01:19:07 |
I'm gonna call her |
| 01:19:13 |
Dianne. |
| 01:19:14 |
Hey, how are you? |
| 01:19:17 |
What's that? |
| 01:19:19 |
160 bucks? |
| 01:19:21 |
Wow. |
| 01:19:22 |
It's more like Hannah |
| 01:19:24 |
I know. |
| 01:19:27 |
Look, I've got |
| 01:19:30 |
I ran into my ex-wife, |
| 01:19:33 |
Well, how do I put this? |
| 01:19:37 |
Oh, Dianne. |
| 01:19:41 |
Really? |
| 01:19:42 |
Oh, I-- |
| 01:19:45 |
We gave it a good run. |
| 01:19:48 |
So I'll have my lawyer |
| 01:19:51 |
Uh-huh. |
| 01:19:53 |
I will. |
| 01:19:54 |
All right. |
| 01:19:56 |
Yeah, okay. |
| 01:19:57 |
All right. |
| 01:19:58 |
Yeah, got to go. |
| 01:20:00 |
Dianne, I have to go. |
| 01:20:01 |
Okay. |
| 01:20:03 |
All right. Bye. |
| 01:20:05 |
We're good. |
| 01:20:06 |
Oh! |
| 01:20:19 |
"if not now, when? |
| 01:20:22 |
"if not me, who? |
| 01:20:24 |
If not here, where?" |
| 01:20:31 |
let's go, Oliver. |
| 01:20:32 |
We're gonna be late |
| 01:20:34 |
The kids are already |
| 01:20:38 |
Oh, god, |
| 01:20:39 |
I'm really sick. |
| 01:20:41 |
I think I might have |
| 01:20:44 |
You should just go ahead |
| 01:20:45 |
Okay. |
| 01:20:49 |
Get some rest. |
| 01:20:50 |
Okay. |
| 01:20:57 |
You deserve |
| 01:20:59 |
For that performance. |
| 01:21:00 |
Three hours |
| 01:21:12 |
Huh. |
| 01:21:15 |
Well, I guess I could |
| 01:21:31 |
Completely naked? |
| 01:21:32 |
Totally nude, |
| 01:21:34 |
The whole time |
| 01:21:35 |
All morning. |
| 01:21:36 |
Most intriguing, |
| 01:21:40 |
So why don't you come by |
| 01:21:41 |
We can be naked |
| 01:21:42 |
What am I supposed |
| 01:21:43 |
Make up an excuse. |
| 01:21:45 |
Already got mine |
| 01:21:46 |
What is it? |
| 01:21:47 |
Bulimia. |
| 01:21:48 |
Nice. |
| 01:21:49 |
So is this a gay thing? |
| 01:21:50 |
No. |
| 01:21:52 |
No, man. |
| 01:21:53 |
I'm straight |
| 01:21:55 |
I mean, sure, I blew |
| 01:21:57 |
But that was the '80s. |
| 01:21:58 |
I mean, I still can't |
| 01:22:00 |
Figure out how to solve |
| 01:22:02 |
No, this is just |
| 01:22:03 |
Skipping church |
| 01:22:06 |
I don't know, |
| 01:22:07 |
It's not really |
| 01:22:08 |
Cut to "ding-dong!" |
| 01:22:09 |
I mean, actually, |
| 01:22:15 |
Hey, man. |
| 01:22:16 |
Whoa. |
| 01:22:17 |
Glad you changed |
| 01:22:18 |
You are really naked. |
| 01:22:19 |
I mean, |
| 01:22:21 |
Yeah. |
| 01:22:22 |
And there's your penis, |
| 01:22:23 |
And I guess those |
| 01:22:25 |
And I'm gonna guess your ass |
| 01:22:27 |
That's exactly right. |
| 01:22:29 |
Why don't you come on in, |
| 01:22:31 |
Okay. |
| 01:22:34 |
Musky smell. |
| 01:22:35 |
Those are my natural |
| 01:22:42 |
Hey, man, |
| 01:22:45 |
I thought this |
| 01:22:47 |
But this is pretty good. |
| 01:22:49 |
It's pretty good, |
| 01:22:52 |
You know, I got |
| 01:22:54 |
You want to listen |
| 01:22:55 |
You got any |
| 01:22:57 |
Are you kidding me? |
| 01:22:58 |
I'm a Flack freak. |
| 01:23:00 |
What do you want |
| 01:23:01 |
Killing me softly? |
| 01:23:03 |
That's a little |
| 01:23:05 |
Why don't we go |
| 01:23:09 |
How about this? |
| 01:23:10 |
Greatest hits, |
| 01:23:17 |
# strolling in the park, # |
| 01:23:19 |
# watching winter |
| 01:23:22 |
I dig her silky vocals. |
| 01:23:24 |
Yeah, and the jazzy |
| 01:23:26 |
And light percussion |
| 01:23:29 |
Oof. |
| 01:23:30 |
Fluid sounds. |
| 01:23:32 |
Urbane. |
| 01:23:34 |
Mm, contemporary flavor. |
| 01:23:37 |
Holds a degree |
| 01:23:40 |
That was just-- |
| 01:23:41 |
That was great. |
| 01:23:42 |
Yeah. |
| 01:23:44 |
Well, why don't you |
| 01:23:46 |
I don't know. |
| 01:23:47 |
I mean, I might feel |
| 01:23:48 |
If I keep |
| 01:23:49 |
Marty, god doesn't |
| 01:23:52 |
To go to church |
| 01:23:54 |
Keeping the sabbath |
| 01:23:56 |
Taking a weekly break |
| 01:23:58 |
And celebrating |
| 01:24:00 |
And what greater manifestation |
| 01:24:02 |
Than the body human? |
| 01:24:03 |
For my money, it's just as holy |
| 01:24:07 |
And swing our balls |
| 01:24:09 |
And pump up |
| 01:24:11 |
You know what? |
| 01:24:13 |
I do have one question, |
| 01:24:15 |
How many other guys |
| 01:24:17 |
# it may be way too early # |
| 01:24:20 |
# in the game. # |
| 01:24:22 |
hey, I just took a dump |
| 01:24:24 |
And didn't have |
| 01:24:26 |
Or up, right? |
| 01:24:27 |
Correctamundo. |
| 01:24:28 |
Hey, who invited |
| 01:24:30 |
eh. |
| 01:24:31 |
Oh, great. |
| 01:24:33 |
That's the last thing |
| 01:24:37 |
# I wasn't trying |
| 01:24:39 |
I like |
| 01:24:41 |
How long |
| 01:24:43 |
As far as I know, |
| 01:24:44 |
Since day one. |
| 01:24:45 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:24:47 |
I knew it was popular, |
| 01:24:49 |
and then you get to side three, |
| 01:24:51 |
And then he doesn't even |
| 01:24:53 |
Then he's completely |
| 01:24:55 |
Behind his own wall. |
| 01:25:00 |
# tonight I celebrate |
| 01:25:11 |
# is gonna come |
| 01:25:13 |
Yeah? |
| 01:25:15 |
Oliver, governor Hutchins here. |
| 01:25:16 |
Church ended early today, |
| 01:25:17 |
And your wife |
| 01:25:20 |
Let's go! |
| 01:25:21 |
Jesus shit. |
| 01:25:22 |
Fuck! |
| 01:25:36 |
They're here. |
| 01:25:37 |
What do we do? |
| 01:25:44 |
Hi, dad. |
| 01:25:45 |
How's your gangrene? |
| 01:25:46 |
Much better. |
| 01:25:47 |
Oliver, is something |
| 01:25:50 |
No. |
| 01:25:51 |
Why? |
| 01:25:52 |
You're acting strange, |
| 01:25:54 |
And I want to know |
| 01:25:56 |
Honey, we made an oath |
| 01:25:59 |
And you deserve |
| 01:26:02 |
Fellas. |
| 01:26:08 |
Every Sunday morning, |
| 01:26:10 |
Dozens of men come over here |
| 01:26:13 |
I see. |
| 01:26:14 |
And we never want |
| 01:26:15 |
What do you think |
| 01:26:17 |
I'll tell you |
| 01:26:20 |
If you ever |
| 01:26:21 |
Have a naked party |
| 01:26:24 |
On a Sunday, |
| 01:26:26 |
You can kiss |
| 01:26:30 |
Wait a minute, Gloria. |
| 01:26:31 |
Hear me out. |
| 01:26:32 |
# I've been a good man # |
| 01:26:35 |
# all my life. # |
| 01:26:38 |
# take care of my kids, # |
| 01:26:39 |
# provide for my wife. # |
| 01:26:43 |
# given to the church, # |
| 01:26:45 |
# the destitute, |
| 01:26:48 |
# never hurt a fly. # |
| 01:26:50 |
# I never |
| 01:26:52 |
# so where does it say # |
| 01:26:55 |
# that every Sunday, |
| 01:26:59 |
That's the lord's way. |
| 01:27:00 |
Touche. |
| 01:27:02 |
# but it never |
| 01:27:05 |
# there was something |
| 01:27:07 |
# about that fabric # |
| 01:27:10 |
# between my ass |
| 01:27:14 |
# it's not crude to be nude |
| 01:27:18 |
# I think you'd be a prude |
| 01:27:23 |
# misconstrued are my views |
| 01:27:28 |
# as we shimmy bareback |
| 01:27:31 |
# fresh-shampooed are our pubes |
| 01:27:36 |
# great respect we reflect, |
| 01:27:40 |
# see our cracks |
| 01:27:42 |
# are as clean |
| 01:27:44 |
# 'cause we know # |
| 01:27:49 |
# it's written |
| 01:27:53 |
# it's written |
| 01:27:59 |
# I introduced each story. # |
| 01:28:01 |
# there were ten. |
| 01:28:03 |
# I was surrounded |
| 01:28:05 |
# but I didn't heed |
| 01:28:07 |
# I ignored the laws, |
| 01:28:09 |
# but I did my job |
| 01:28:12 |
# I gave you |
| 01:28:14 |
# and he dumped |
| 01:28:19 |
# I broke it off |
| 01:28:26 |
# I stole |
| 01:28:28 |
# now we live |
| 01:28:29 |
# I live my life |
| 01:28:31 |
# splinters |
| 01:28:33 |
# I guess that's why-- |
| 01:28:34 |
# it's written down |
| 01:28:37 |
# as these ten stories |
| 01:28:39 |
# craved a CAT scan |
| 01:28:42 |
# tried to keep up |
| 01:28:47 |
# now there's |
| 01:28:51 |
# many dead |
| 01:28:56 |
# and that was only |
| 01:28:58 |
# well, I was good |
| 01:29:01 |
# I was quick |
| 01:29:03 |
# but the judge, # |
| 01:29:04 |
# he done |
| 01:29:07 |
# so now the goof |
| 01:29:10 |
# I got 99 years. # |
| 01:29:12 |
# and a bloody, |
| 01:29:17 |
# a nonelastic, |
| 01:29:22 |
# badly damaged... # |
| 01:29:24 |
# stretchy, stretchy... # |
| 01:29:26 |
# trunk, # |
| 01:29:28 |
# butt, # |
| 01:29:31 |
# ass. # |
| 01:29:37 |
I got a trunk butt ass! |
| 01:29:39 |
# well, I met Jesus |
| 01:29:43 |
# didn't know |
| 01:29:45 |
# but in truth, |
| 01:29:48 |
# my name |
| 01:29:52 |
# I crushed my spine. # |
| 01:29:53 |
# I'm in the ground. # |
| 01:29:55 |
# I had my 15 minutes. # |
| 01:29:59 |
# I fucked Arsenio hall |
| 01:30:03 |
# he wore nothing at all |
| 01:30:06 |
# if it were Arnold, |
| 01:30:10 |
# and we'd both |
| 01:30:13 |
# and smaller cocks. # |
| 01:30:14 |
So what does |
| 01:30:16 |
# so what's |
| 01:30:19 |
# what does it all |
| 01:30:21 |
# hey, haven't you |
| 01:30:25 |
tell us! |
| 01:30:26 |
# it's all about... # |
| 01:30:28 |
# love! # |
| 01:30:29 |
Put your arms |
| 01:30:32 |
# love! # |
| 01:30:33 |
# yeah, the universe |
| 01:30:35 |
# love! # |
| 01:30:37 |
Everybody kissing |
| 01:30:39 |
And everybody hugging, now, |
| 01:30:40 |
# love! # |
| 01:30:49 |
# love! # |
| 01:31:02 |
# 1 and 9, # |
| 01:31:03 |
# 8 and 2, # |
| 01:31:04 |
# 3 and 7, # |
| 01:31:05 |
# 11 minus 1, # |
| 01:31:06 |
# 5 and 5 is--is... # |
| 01:31:07 |
# oh, yeah! # |
| 01:31:11 |
# the ten is a hell |
| 01:31:14 |
# the ten, ten ten. # |
| 01:31:15 |
# double digits, |
| 01:31:18 |
that's the Lord's way. |
| 01:31:19 |
# was that really |
| 01:31:23 |
# then you've got one, |
| 01:31:27 |
# oh, yeah! # |
| 01:31:30 |
# # |
| 01:31:38 |
# da, da, da, da. # |
| 01:31:44 |
# stuck in the ground. |
| 01:31:46 |
# stuck, stuck, |
| 01:31:47 |
# stuck in the ground, |
| 01:31:49 |
# buck-ass naked. |
| 01:31:51 |
# from daily show |
| 01:31:53 |
# when she left Rudd, |
| 01:31:55 |
# I was born on the state |
| 01:31:57 |
# CAT scan--my neighbor, |
| 01:31:59 |
# dip my balls in your mouth |
| 01:32:01 |
# and poof! |
| 01:32:03 |
# yes, yes, ya'll. |
| 01:32:05 |
# I took the fall |
| 01:32:07 |
# knocked up, |
| 01:32:09 |
# shacked up with |
| 01:32:11 |
# Liev in a mustache |
| 01:32:13 |
# everybody do |
| 01:32:15 |
# no fuss, |
| 01:32:17 |
# pick them and flick them |
| 01:32:19 |
# played you like |
| 01:32:21 |
# and I'm so fine |
| 01:32:23 |
# miss fantastic bee. |
| 01:32:26 |
# rhyme time over. |
| 01:32:27 |
# the ten is a hell |
| 01:32:31 |
# and the credits |
| 01:32:34 |
# the ten, the ten. # |
| 01:32:36 |
# the movie |
| 01:32:39 |
# say good-bye. # |
| 01:32:41 |
# good-bye. # |
| 01:32:43 |
# we've come to the what? |
| 01:32:46 |
# right to the what? |
| 01:32:47 |
# we've come to the end, |
| 01:32:49 |
# we've come to the what? # |
| 01:32:51 |
# we've come to the end |
| 01:32:53 |
# we've come to the end |
| 01:32:56 |
# naked men |
| 01:32:59 |
# the Sunday balls, |
| 01:33:05 |
# but it's not |
| 01:33:10 |
# we've come to the end |
| 01:33:14 |
# wife and husband |
| 01:33:17 |
# Jeff left Liz |
| 01:33:23 |
# and kissed Gretchen |
| 01:33:28 |
# and the flower grows |
| 01:33:35 |
# and the lesson learned |
| 01:33:42 |
# what we make of it. # |
| 01:33:47 |
# we've come to the end |
| 01:33:51 |
# the puppet's not |
| 01:33:54 |
# though Gary may not |
| 01:33:59 |
# he'll be |
| 01:34:04 |
# we've come to the end |
| 01:34:08 |
# kids and radioactive |
| 01:34:11 |
# because two neighbors |
| 01:34:17 |
# but it's not worth |
| 01:34:22 |
# we saw the doctor raped |
| 01:34:29 |
# he could not escape |
| 01:34:36 |
# where his goof |
| 01:34:41 |
# twin boys born |
| 01:34:45 |
# did not resemble |
| 01:34:48 |
# but Jesus Christos, |
| 01:34:54 |
# he opened up a heart. # |
| 01:34:59 |
# we've come to the end |
| 01:35:03 |
# Montgomery fell |
| 01:35:05 |
# and lodged himself |
| 01:35:12 |
# how does he defecate? # |
| 01:35:14 |
how does he defecate? |
| 01:35:16 |
# but the flower |
| 01:35:19 |
# from Montgomery's shit. # |
| 01:35:24 |
# and the lesson learned |
| 01:35:30 |
# what you make |
| 01:35:53 |
# we've come to the end |
| 01:35:56 |
What a bunch |
| 01:35:59 |
Damn. |
