The Dog Problem

en
00:00:33 So Mr. Harrington...
00:00:34 Uh, wait a minute.
00:00:37 Yes?
00:00:39 Can you just call me Solo?
00:00:42 Why?
00:00:44 Well, a-aside from the fact that it's my name, I've...
00:00:47 I've just been coming here for almost a year now
00:00:49 and, uh, frankly, this could be...
00:00:53 this could be it for us.
00:00:54 So I was just wondering if we could just end
00:00:56 on a less formal note, you know?
00:00:57 Oh. Uh...
00:01:01 Yeah.
00:01:02 Sure.
00:01:03 - Well...
00:01:05 Great.
00:01:13 And you are...
00:01:14 I'm still Dr. Nourmand.
00:01:15 Okay.
00:01:21 I, uh, I got...
00:01:24 Oh... Well...
00:01:27 Thank you very much.
00:01:28 I can't accept it, uh...
00:01:30 but it is a very nice gesture, nonetheless.
00:01:32 Thank you.
00:01:35 I... I think you should just take the jacket.
00:01:38 W-why?
00:01:41 Because I bought it for you.
00:01:43 Well, do you do that often?
00:01:44 I mean, do you buy gifts...
00:01:45 No.
00:01:47 For your... for yourfriends...
00:01:48 - No.
00:01:49 - No. No, no, no.
00:01:50 Just this.
00:01:52 What about this being it?
00:01:56 Well, I... you know, I just...
00:01:59 I just spend a very large portion of my time here.
00:02:02 And, uh, you know, to be honest,
00:02:05 I was just walking down the street
00:02:06 and I saw the jacket in...
00:02:07 in the window and...
00:02:08 I thought it would look nice on you.
00:02:09 I don't know, I think you just take the jacket.
00:02:10 No, no, no, I...
00:02:12 I'm considering that.
00:02:13 I meant "this", as in ourtime here.
00:02:15 Oh!
00:02:17 Well, yeah, I've just run out of money.
00:02:19 I'm broke.
00:02:22 Five days a week here for almost a year
00:02:24 just added up a lot quickerthan I thought it would and...
00:02:26 Yeah.
00:02:28 Fucked.
00:02:29 I mean... No, I feel... no, I feel...
00:02:30 - I feel betterthan I did, right?
00:02:33 But... but now what, right?
00:02:37 Well, what do you think?
00:02:46 Uh, well, you know, I... I mean, I...
00:02:48 I... I could...
00:02:49 I'm going to start writing again.
00:02:52 Try to make a little money.
00:02:54 Well, that's good.
00:02:55 - Yeah.
00:02:56 Yeah.
00:03:00 Yeah, I'll call you when that happens.
00:03:08 Do you ever consider getting a pet, Solo?
00:03:17 What?
00:05:44 Out of the way, jerk-off!
00:05:48 You know, pal, uh...
00:05:49 The best thing about buying a dog
00:05:51 is that, uh, you can always get rid of it.
00:05:54 I mean, if you don't like it.
00:05:59 The dog, I mean.
00:06:02 When'd you get that jacket?
00:06:09 This is Jonesy.
00:06:10 You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox.
00:06:12 It's a beautiful day in L.A.
00:06:15 Fucking hell.
00:06:19 Why are there so many people here, man?
00:06:21 Well, that's the thing about these places:
00:06:23 a lot of people, you know?
00:06:24 Some good, some not so good,
00:06:27 and some just pure fantasia.
00:06:30 That never happens to me... ever.
00:06:32 Oh, my God!
00:06:36 Wait a minute.
00:06:37 - I think I need to go back.
00:06:39 That was the one.
00:06:40 I got to go grab her.
00:06:41 - I do.
00:06:42 - Come on.
00:06:43 You don't need me, okay?
00:06:45 Just grab the first one that looks at you funny.
00:06:46 You ever heard the term "puppy dog eyes"?
00:06:48 It comes from a place.
00:06:49 That's the place.
00:06:50 I'll be right back.
00:06:51 I love you. You're good.
00:06:52 You're good.
00:07:01 Mom! You said you were going to get it for me.
00:07:34 All right, here's the thing, Brad.
00:07:35 I just need a... a simple dog, you know?
00:07:38 One that doesn't require a whole lot of maintenance.
00:07:41 Uh, low energy, uh, doesn't need a lot of stuff.
00:07:45 You know, I have a balcony,
00:07:46 so one that can use the balcony
00:07:48 to use the bathroom would be great.
00:07:50 Uh, you know, just a...
00:07:52 a dog that doesn't need to go outside too much.
00:07:55 That would be great, too.
00:07:58 Okay, Brad?
00:08:00 What do you say, Brad?
00:08:02 I really should have come in with you.
00:08:05 What's that supposed to mean?
00:08:07 Nothing.
00:08:09 What?
00:08:10 Oh no, it's a cool dog.
00:08:13 It's cool.
00:08:16 Seems calm enough.
00:08:18 It's just really little.
00:08:19 Well, it's a puppy.
00:08:21 No.
00:08:23 No, no, no.
00:08:24 Hey, you know what?
00:08:25 It's about... you like her, I like her.
00:08:27 It's a he.
00:08:28 He. Boy. Dog.
00:08:31 Pal, I just want you to be happy.
00:08:33 Okay.
00:08:34 Are you happy?
00:08:36 Look, he likes you.
00:08:37 I... can you hold the dog?
00:08:39 - But he likes you.
00:08:40 But he wants to go to Daddy.
00:08:42 He doesn't want to be on...
00:08:43 on... on uncle's lap.
00:08:46 He wants to go in the back, apparently.
00:08:48 Is he going to shit?
00:09:22 Okay, you've got to be kidding me.
00:09:24 No! No!
00:09:28 Hi, Brad.
00:09:30 Uh, yeah, the Tongan terrier.
00:09:33 Well, uh, yeah, you know, I tried that crate thing
00:09:35 that you told me about
00:09:37 and he just went to the bathroom all overthe bathroom.
00:09:39 Well, yeah, see, that's the thing.
00:09:40 I didn't have a crate so I just...
00:09:42 I thought the bathroom would suffice.
00:09:44 Uh, no, I don't want to buy a crate.
00:09:47 Well, just because I don't have room for a crate.
00:09:50 Okay, well, I'm sure the crates
00:09:52 are very decorative, Brad, but...
00:09:53 Brad, I don't want to buy a crate.
00:09:54 Stop trying to sell me a crate.
00:09:56 Okay, give me the shoe.
00:09:57 Put the shoe down.
00:09:58 Put the...
00:09:59 Yeah, hi, is this Brad?
00:10:01 Well, Brad, you fucked me, pal.
00:10:02 This little thing is driving me crazy, man.
00:10:04 I mean, I... you know...
00:10:07 Hello? Hello?
00:10:09 Okay, Brad, he's peeing on the carpet right now.
00:10:12 What the fuck is a wee-wee pad?
00:10:14 No.
00:10:16 Look, you know what?
00:10:17 We talked about this and... and I just...
00:10:18 I don't think this is going to work.
00:10:19 I just...
00:10:20 Well, I don't know.
00:10:22 What the hell do you want me to do?
00:10:23 I mean, can I just bring him back?
00:10:25 Hello? Hello, Brad?
00:10:28 Brad?
00:10:32 What the hell are you looking at, man?
00:10:34 Casper.
00:10:37 Casper, are you awake?
00:10:40 You up?
00:10:41 I don't know.
00:10:43 Pal, the dog shit all over my house.
00:10:47 - Yeah?
00:10:48 Yeah, I don't... I don't know what to do.
00:10:50 I hate him.
00:10:51 I don't know what to do.
00:10:54 You want to take him back?
00:10:56 No.
00:10:57 There's no refunds.
00:10:58 Well...
00:11:04 I know this girl...
00:11:07 Did I wake you up?
00:11:08 No, no, no.
00:11:09 I just been reading and stuff.
00:11:15 So... I used to date her.
00:11:16 I used to fuck her.
00:11:17 - What?
00:11:19 I shot her once.
00:11:20 Man, what am I doing?
00:11:21 I can't give the dog away.
00:11:23 You're driving the car up to the thing.
00:11:25 Come on.
00:11:27 This is fine.
00:11:28 This is what she does.
00:11:30 What do you mean?
00:11:31 Yes.
00:11:35 but it's what she does.
00:11:36 Right up here.
00:11:38 - Pull up to the thingy.
00:11:40 - Go to the thingy.
00:11:41 You're not going to hit it.
00:11:43 Well, what does she make money doing?
00:11:44 Jesus Christ.
00:11:46 Well, herfather, um, owns the rights
00:11:48 to, like, every great rock 'n' roll song everwritten,
00:11:51 among otherthings.
00:11:52 The guywas, like, a major pimp in the '70s.
00:11:54 Killed people and shit.
00:11:55 - Okay, he didn't kill people.
00:11:56 - No, he didn't.
00:11:58 Okay, you're just making that up.
00:12:00 Okay, somehow this man ended up owning
00:12:03 a lot of valuable stuff.
00:12:04 - Well, that's obvious.
00:12:06 I got a train set once.
00:12:08 Oh, he lives here too.
00:12:10 He's got a place in, what do you call it?
00:12:12 Europe or some shit... Asia.
00:12:14 Would you push the button, please?
00:12:15 - Let's go.
00:12:16 - Let's just go.
00:12:20 I don't know.
00:12:21 I'm so bored, I could kill myself.
00:12:25 I don't know, bitch.
00:12:28 Yeah, well, holler later.
00:12:29 I'm supposed to look at this guy's dog right now.
00:12:31 I'll talk to you later.
00:12:35 Hey, bitch!
00:12:36 Hey, Jules.
00:12:37 How you been?
00:12:38 Misery.
00:12:40 I bet it is impossible.
00:12:44 What's really good, mama?
00:12:46 Come on.
00:12:47 Nothing is good.
00:12:48 You're lying.
00:12:53 So how'd those pictures turn out?
00:12:55 They are very good.
00:12:56 They're not raunchy, are they?
00:12:57 No, not at all.
00:13:00 You guys want a bewy?
00:13:02 You want a bewy?
00:13:03 Uh, what have you... what have you got?
00:13:05 Oh, whatever you want.
00:13:07 Well, do you have any scotch?
00:13:08 I don't know.
00:13:09 Oh.
00:13:11 Hey, are all these dogs your dogs?
00:13:13 That's right, bitch.
00:13:14 Until they get older, they are.
00:13:16 I take care of them until they're old enough
00:13:17 they don't need caring and then I give them away.
00:13:19 - Very noble.
00:13:21 - Uh, who do you... who do you give them to?
00:13:23 Well, what if you can't get rid of them?
00:13:25 Everybodywants them when I'm done, bitch.
00:13:28 Hey, can you stop calling me bitch?
00:13:30 - Whoa!
00:13:32 No, it's just I have a name.
00:13:33 Yeah, but pal... pal...
00:13:35 - She's not... she doesn't mean it...
00:13:36 ...like, "Hey, what's up, bitch?"
00:13:38 - Or, "Where's my money, bitch?"
00:13:40 You know what I mean?
00:13:41 - What's it like?
00:13:42 Endearing.
00:13:43 Okay, well, my name is Solo.
00:13:45 Just in case...
00:13:46 Like Han Solo.
00:13:47 Not, not like Han Solo.
00:13:49 Just like Solo.
00:13:52 Where's the dog, Solo?
00:13:53 Uh, he's at home.
00:13:55 - What do you mean?
00:13:56 We didn't bring her.
00:13:57 - Him.
00:13:58 Why not?
00:13:59 - Well...
00:14:01 I just figured, you know,
00:14:02 I didn't want to bring him out of the house for no reason.
00:14:04 I figured you'd have some questions.
00:14:05 Is he cute?
00:14:06 Yeah.
00:14:07 Maybe not cute so much.
00:14:09 Well...
00:14:10 What does he go with?
00:14:11 What?
00:14:12 Colours.
00:14:13 You... you mean what colour is he?
00:14:15 Yeah, sure.
00:14:16 Did you just ask,
00:14:18 I think so.
00:14:21 I'll be in the car.
00:14:24 One second... pal.
00:14:26 I don't know, man.
00:14:27 Itjust doesn't seem right.
00:14:29 You know, life is a delicate negotiation.
00:14:32 Do you understand that?
00:14:37 So...
00:14:38 What do you want to do?
00:14:40 I mean, seriously, what do you want to do?
00:14:44 All right.
00:14:50 Seriously, what do you want to do?
00:14:51 You want... you want to give this thing a shot orwhat?
00:14:54 You... or do you want to end up in some rich lady's house
00:14:56 with a bunch of other spoiled little dogs?
00:14:59 'Cause, you know, I mean, if that's what you want, I...
00:15:01 I got you, you know.
00:15:03 I mean, you know, do you want to shit the house
00:15:05 or do you want to let me love you?
00:15:06 Do you want to let me learn how to love you
00:15:07 or do you want to shit the house?
00:15:08 Do you want to shit the house?
00:15:09 Do you want to nibble on sneakers?
00:15:11 I got the place for you.
00:15:12 You know what I'm saying?
00:15:19 You're a dog.
00:15:29 Yo, fucko!
00:15:30 Shh!
00:15:31 - Shh!
00:15:34 Oh...
00:15:37 What the fuck is that?
00:15:39 Thanks a lot, asshole.
00:15:41 Ow! Fuck!
00:15:46 You know, Benny, I really don't think it's appropriate,
00:15:49 you showing up at my house in the middle of the night like this.
00:15:51 Shut the fuck up.
00:15:52 Okay, I just wanted to say it
00:15:54 just to keep my side of the street clean.
00:15:55 Can I ask you a question?
00:15:58 - What?
00:15:59 That's Frank.
00:16:01 Oh, uh, Frank, can I help you with anything?
00:16:04 Don't talk to Frank, all right.
00:16:05 Frank doesn't even speak English, okay?
00:16:08 Frank doesn't speak English?
00:16:09 Yeah, Frank... Who else would I be talking about?
00:16:11 Well, I don't know.
00:16:13 like a very common American name.
00:16:14 Oh, yeah.
00:16:15 Where's he from?
00:16:17 Ireland.
00:16:21 Frank?
00:16:22 Benny, can you just tell him not to drink that...
00:16:24 - 'Cause it's my last one...
00:16:26 Well, it's just a Snapple,
00:16:27 but that's not the point.
00:16:28 Get outta here.
00:16:30 A couple days ago.
00:16:31 - And how much did it cost?
00:16:32 On sale? What sale?
00:16:34 A fucking dog sale?
00:16:35 Yeah, I guess so.
00:16:37 Here's the point, jag-off.
00:16:38 Sale or no sale, you're spending money.
00:16:40 My money!
00:16:41 Well, that's one way of looking at it.
00:16:42 No, that's not one way of looking at it.
00:16:44 That's the way it looks.
00:16:45 It's not like the colourfucking blue-green,
00:16:47 where some asshole sees blue and the other guy sees green.
00:16:49 In order for things to have an option of appearance,
00:16:52 they have to have a fucking option of appearance!
00:16:54 You know, this is the way it is.
00:16:56 You did this, and that's that.
00:16:57 And why does that dog keep looking at me funny?
00:17:03 It's a funny-looking dog.
00:17:08 What's her name?
00:17:09 He. It's a he.
00:17:10 Oh, sorry.
00:17:12 What's his name?
00:17:13 Uh, he doesn't have a name yet.
00:17:14 He doesn't have a name.
00:17:16 I'd kind of like to be the one that names the dog.
00:17:17 And I'd kind of like you to get to work
00:17:19 so you can pay me the fucking money I lent you.
00:17:20 I'm taking this dog.
00:17:22 You're not gonna take the dog.
00:17:24 - You can't take the dog.
00:17:25 Oh, come on.
00:17:26 I'm going to eat him.
00:17:28 All right... imagine it like this.
00:17:29 I owe you the money, right?
00:17:30 I don't need to imagine it.
00:17:31 Okay, well, just imagine the rest.
00:17:33 In order for me to pay you the money I owe you,
00:17:34 I have to get an advance.
00:17:35 And in order for me to get an advance
00:17:36 I have to write something.
00:17:38 And... and you're here and you're...
00:17:39 you're taking dogs and stuff.
00:17:41 And, Benny, I can't do that.
00:17:42 All right?
00:17:44 That... that dog, that little, fragile dog...
00:17:48 that Frank's holding onto just a little too tightly...
00:17:51 Could you just... ow!
00:17:52 Okay, that's not necessary.
00:17:55 Well, uh, could you just not squeeze him so tightly?
00:17:58 Maybe... maybe just...
00:17:59 Are you squeezing him?
00:18:01 All right, Frank, give him the dog.
00:18:02 Just give it to him.
00:18:03 Thanks, Frank.
00:18:04 One week you got, and then I'm gonna come
00:18:06 and I'm gonna take the dog.
00:18:07 I find out you buy any more animals
00:18:09 or see any more fucking doctors,
00:18:10 I'm gonna break your legs.
00:18:12 Okay, Benny, don't saythat.
00:18:13 I'm gonna break your legs, okay?
00:18:15 One week.
00:18:19 Why didn't you just give him the dog?
00:18:21 I knew you'd saythat.
00:18:22 Well, that's 'cause it's the logical thing to say.
00:18:23 There's a reason people saythings.
00:18:25 Granted, stupid people just shout shit for no reason.
00:18:27 Smart people use logic.
00:18:29 Two days ago you were going to give the dog
00:18:30 - What's-her-name?
00:18:31 Look, can we just chalk it up to growth?
00:18:33 Can we just do that?
00:18:34 Let's just chalk it up to growth.
00:18:35 Life is a delicate negotiation.
00:18:36 What the fuck does that mean?
00:18:38 I've got to keep the dog.
00:18:39 - Why?
00:18:40 Good.
00:18:41 - You really don't understand, do you?
00:18:43 Look, I was a very unhappy person not too long ago.
00:18:45 Hence the 100 or so thousand on the couch.
00:18:47 Ew!
00:18:49 What?
00:18:50 - No.
00:18:51 Was it reallythat much, though?
00:18:52 - I'm kidding.
00:18:53 - I'm kidding.
00:18:54 Come on.
00:18:56 Look, I'm just trying to do the right thing here, all right?
00:18:58 That's cool.
00:18:59 And all I'm saying is, you don't got to kill yourself.
00:19:01 Yeah, but you're busting my balls.
00:19:02 I'm not.
00:19:04 - A little bit.
00:19:08 - In my opinion, a very good book.
00:19:09 I like the book.
00:19:11 Yeah, because it's the only book you ever read.
00:19:13 Wow!
00:19:14 Stop that.
00:19:16 you had lots of girls around.
00:19:18 I was miserable.
00:19:20 I enjoyed it.
00:19:22 Cas, don't you want to be loved?
00:19:25 - Yeah...
00:19:26 You know, give and receive?
00:19:27 I do.
00:19:29 I have nothing.
00:19:31 And then I give the dog away and then I have...
00:19:32 I have negative nothing.
00:19:33 A clean carpet, maybe?
00:19:35 I... I know.
00:19:37 - Hey, babe.
00:19:38 Can I have some ketch...
00:19:39 Ketchup?
00:19:42 Wow.
00:19:43 What's with her?
00:19:44 I-I don't know.
00:19:46 I, uh, I took some shots of her,
00:19:48 some nudes, and, uh...
00:19:49 and she's crazy.
00:19:51 I don't... I don't know.
00:19:52 You know what I need?
00:19:54 - Ketchup?
00:19:55 Everybody has a plan.
00:19:57 A plan, huh?
00:19:58 Yeah, what's your plan?
00:19:59 I, uh... I have a plan.
00:20:01 Well, what is it?
00:20:03 It's to, um...
00:20:05 It's to sleep with lots of girls,
00:20:08 take pictures of them, eat three times a day.
00:20:11 Stuff like that.
00:20:15 I need more therapy.
00:20:16 You are a good writer.
00:20:17 No, don't do...
00:20:19 La-la-la...
00:20:20 Don't be a child.
00:20:21 Stop it.
00:20:24 Okay, fine.
00:20:25 What's your plan?
00:20:26 I have a plan.
00:20:27 What is it?
00:20:28 Uh... I-I, uh...
00:20:30 Love the dog, have the dog love me.
00:20:33 Meet a woman, do the same thing.
00:20:36 Get married.
00:20:39 Kids.
00:20:41 It's a plan.
00:20:42 - Yeah.
00:20:43 Pig.
00:20:45 I did not sell the fucking pictures, okay?
00:20:47 Theywere stolen from me.
00:20:49 You sold naked pictures of her?
00:20:51 What did I just say?
00:20:52 Cas!
00:20:59 Okay, come on.
00:21:01 Come on.
00:21:04 Come on, man, we drove all the way here.
00:21:06 Go play.
00:21:07 What?
00:21:09 Here.
00:21:10 Look, I got the ball.
00:21:12 Okay?
00:21:13 Ah!
00:21:17 Come on.
00:21:18 Go out there.
00:21:20 Go get the ball.
00:21:21 Get the ball.
00:21:26 Okay, I'm going to go that way
00:21:27 and you go that way, all right?
00:21:28 Come on, we're here, man.
00:21:30 Come on, man up.
00:21:51 Hi.
00:21:53 Hi.
00:21:54 Do you mind...
00:21:58 Yeah, fine.
00:22:01 - What's that?
00:22:02 I didn't come here to flirt.
00:22:03 So if that's whyyou want to sit down, no.
00:22:05 But if you're reallyjust looking
00:22:06 for a place to sit, then, fine.
00:22:08 Oh, no...
00:22:14 Okay.
00:22:18 Oh, man, I need some exercise.
00:22:32 I'm Solo.
00:22:34 What?
00:22:35 Sorry.
00:22:38 Did you just tell me you were Solo?
00:22:40 Yeah, I did.
00:22:41 W- why?
00:22:42 Well, I... I just felt uncomfortable
00:22:44 sitting here next to you and not saying anything
00:22:46 and I didn't want you to think that I was flirting so I...
00:22:50 Solo's my name, bythe way.
00:22:51 Oh.
00:22:54 - See, that's where I got confused.
00:22:56 Yeah, see?
00:22:57 - Yeah.
00:23:05 Miscommunication.
00:23:06 Right.
00:23:08 Yeah, I didn't get that at first
00:23:09 and then I just got it, so then I said it.
00:23:12 Sorry.
00:23:17 Yeah...
00:23:20 It's kind of weird sitting here
00:23:22 not saying anything, though, right?
00:23:23 Then get up.
00:23:25 - Okay.
00:23:27 Sit down.
00:23:31 Okay.
00:23:32 Hah!
00:23:34 No, no, no, no, no.
00:23:35 I'm not crazy at all.
00:23:36 I've just had a very long run indoors.
00:23:39 Haven't done a whole lot of socializing
00:23:40 in the last year, so...
00:23:42 Right.
00:23:43 - Yeah.
00:23:44 - Your mom give you that name?
00:23:46 - Yeah.
00:23:48 Um, it's just a long story.
00:23:50 You want to make it short?
00:23:51 No.
00:23:52 All right.
00:23:53 - I'm Lola, Solo.
00:23:55 Nice to meet you, Lola.
00:23:56 - I know.
00:23:58 Okay.
00:24:01 So if you want to get back to your book, I'll...
00:24:02 I'll be quiet.
00:24:03 You know, it's okay.
00:24:06 - Oh, really?
00:24:08 I wrote one of those once.
00:24:10 - You did?
00:24:11 Really?
00:24:13 - Yeah.
00:24:14 What's it called?
00:24:16 I'd rather not s...
00:24:21 I... I don't know.
00:24:23 Okay.
00:24:26 Hey, there's a lot of dogs here, huh?
00:24:28 Dog park.
00:24:29 Yeah.
00:24:32 Which one's yours?
00:24:33 Oh, shit!
00:24:35 Vito! Off!
00:24:37 Off!
00:24:38 Oh, my God!
00:24:41 Look you know, I...
00:24:43 to make a big deal out of this.
00:24:44 Then why are you?
00:24:45 Well, under normal circumstances,
00:24:46 I wouldn't be, but here and now
00:24:48 with the financial state that I'm in and...
00:24:50 and, if truth be told,
00:24:51 I sort of feel like you're responsible a little bit.
00:24:53 - Okay, how do you figure that?
00:24:54 Lady, your dog ate my dog.
00:24:56 He didn't eat him, he bit him.
00:24:57 Several times.
00:24:59 Look, I'm sure he's going to be fine.
00:25:00 Well, I hope so, you know...
00:25:01 No, don't be so dramatic about it.
00:25:02 It's just a couple of scratches.
00:25:04 He was bleeding all overthe place.
00:25:05 Look, I'm not paying forthis.
00:25:07 I feel like by bringing you here,
00:25:08 I fulfilled all my obligations.
00:25:10 I mean, I... I'm sorry.
00:25:11 I just... I don't feel responsible.
00:25:14 I mean, it... it's a dog park.
00:25:17 Shit happens.
00:25:19 just really isn't dog park material.
00:25:20 You know what I mean?
00:25:21 I couldn't agree with you more.
00:25:23 Good.
00:25:25 I'm glad.
00:25:27 Okay, so...
00:25:28 Well, I'm really sorry about her.
00:25:31 What...
00:25:32 He. It's a he.
00:25:33 His name? I...
00:25:35 That's still up in the air.
00:25:37 - You haven't named your dog?
00:25:39 - Well, what do you call it?
00:25:41 Well, when it's overthere and you want it to come here,
00:25:43 - like, what do you say?
00:25:45 I don't know.
00:25:46 You should...
00:25:48 You should name your dog.
00:25:49 I know I should name my dog.
00:25:50 Okay. Well, Solo...
00:25:51 Once again, I am really sorry about this,
00:25:54 but you know...
00:25:58 I've got to go.
00:26:00 Vito's in the car
00:26:01 and I have to get him home.
00:26:02 Please help me.
00:26:03 Please.
00:26:04 Please don't leave me here.
00:26:06 Look, I know we just met and...
00:26:09 and... and there's no reason on earth
00:26:10 for you to trust me, butjust do it.
00:26:11 Just... just lend me the money
00:26:13 and I swearto God,
00:26:14 if I have to sell my own bodyto do it,
00:26:15 I'll payyou back, very soon.
00:26:17 Please just help me.
00:26:25 Okay. I'll help you.
00:26:27 God, I don't know why.
00:26:29 But I'll help you.
00:26:31 They can bill me forthe damages.
00:26:33 Uh! No!
00:26:36 - No touch.
00:26:40 This is mywork address.
00:26:42 I'm there every night till 2:00 a. m.
00:26:43 And bythe way, I'm going to be taking
00:26:45 your license plate number on the way out.
00:26:46 You don't need to do that.
00:26:48 Nonetheless, that's what I'm going to do.
00:26:49 - Okay.
00:26:53 'Cause I can't afford this.
00:26:54 Okay.
00:26:56 Thank you.
00:27:15 You okay?
00:27:21 Tsk...
00:27:58 Excuse me, sir.
00:27:59 We don't allow dogs in the building.
00:28:02 Oh, come on.
00:28:03 I'm... I'm just here to see Dr. Nourmand.
00:28:05 I've seen you, sir, but that doesn't excuse the fact
00:28:08 that we have a "no dog" policy in the building.
00:28:10 - Well, I...
00:28:11 I can'tjust leave him in the car.
00:28:13 Come on, I'lljust be a second.
00:28:14 I'm afraid no can do.
00:28:16 Oh, come on, man.
00:28:18 Is that one of those Tongans?
00:28:20 Yeah.
00:28:22 Mywife has a thing forthose dogs.
00:28:24 You wouldn't want to sell it, would you?
00:28:26 No. No.
00:28:29 I'll tell you what.
00:28:31 I'll hold it for you while you go up.
00:28:36 No.
00:28:37 Okay? I'll wait.
00:28:38 Thank you.
00:28:39 Okay.
00:28:41 Have a good day.
00:28:45 How you doing?
00:28:51 Mr. Harrington.
00:28:52 Dr. Nourmand, this guytried to steal my dog.
00:28:54 I was trying to do you a favour, you fucking nut-job.
00:28:57 Oh... hey, pal, I saw how you looked at him.
00:29:00 - All right?
00:29:01 He tried to bring the dog in the building.
00:29:02 - It's fine, Joe.
00:29:04 It's fine.
00:29:05 - Good night now.
00:29:07 - What are you doing?
00:29:08 I just want to talk to you for just one second.
00:29:11 - No!
00:29:12 - No!
00:29:13 No, Mr. Harrington.
00:29:15 - I just want to talk to you.
00:29:16 This is completely unorthodox.
00:29:17 I've been waiting forthree hours, man.
00:29:19 How long have you been coming to me?
00:29:20 - Uh, almost a year.
00:29:21 So you understand the policy of the office.
00:29:23 It's not a big deal.
00:29:24 It is a big deal, sir.
00:29:26 You don't need to call me "sir".
00:29:27 That's a little impersonal.
00:29:28 Look, man, I know this is way out of line
00:29:31 forthe doctor/patient relationship,
00:29:32 but that's the thing, I'm not your patient anymore.
00:29:34 Mr. Harrington, you do not...
00:29:35 - Solo! Whatever!
00:29:37 That is not necessary.
00:29:38 Well, it is if we're going to be friends.
00:29:40 Look, okay, okay.
00:29:41 I know we can't be friends.
00:29:42 I'm not some nut-job.
00:29:45 I just... can we just talk for a second?
00:29:47 I swearto God, I'm not going to make this into a habit.
00:29:49 Look, look.
00:29:51 What happened to it?
00:29:52 It got into a fight with a pit bull.
00:29:58 Come on, man!
00:30:00 This can never happen again.
00:30:01 I mean, never.
00:30:02 - I understand.
00:30:04 for our purposes here, or upstairs, wherever.
00:30:07 - I understand.
00:30:08 you have to make an appointment.
00:30:09 Okay.
00:30:11 I want to hear you say it.
00:30:14 If I want to see you, I have to make an appointment.
00:30:16 - Thank you.
00:30:19 But I can't, I'm broke.
00:30:20 You know that.
00:30:24 Is he going to go to the bathroom back there?
00:30:26 Uh, yeah.
00:30:27 Look, I'm just going to make this quick, all right?
00:30:29 Please.
00:30:30 Did I buythis carfor you?
00:30:31 - Mr. Harrington!
00:30:33 I'm kidding.
00:30:34 Look, I'm in a really bad spot here, okay?
00:30:37 Now, you told me to get the dog, all right?
00:30:39 No.
00:30:41 You kind of did.
00:30:42 I did not.
00:30:44 Okay, you said, "pet".
00:30:46 You weren't implying that I get a snake, were you?
00:30:47 Listen, in orderforwhat I do
00:30:48 to have any sort of relevance...
00:30:52 Do you have a biscuit or something?
00:30:54 - I mean, the...
00:30:55 Quiet! Shh!
00:30:59 In orderforwhat I do to have any relevance,
00:31:01 I nevertell anybodywhat to do
00:31:02 orwhat not to do.
00:31:04 Okay, fine, doctor.
00:31:05 I got the dog.
00:31:06 Yes.
00:31:07 And I think that's good.
00:31:10 Are you fucking with me?
00:31:11 No!
00:31:13 Why is it good?
00:31:14 You tell me.
00:31:15 I almost got rid of it three times this week.
00:31:17 I have no idea why it was good.
00:31:18 Why didn't you get rid of it?
00:31:21 Because he's mine.
00:31:22 One second, he's just a dog,
00:31:23 and the next thing I know, he's mine.
00:31:25 I think that's progress.
00:31:27 - Oh, really?
00:31:30 Just tell me what's troubling you.
00:31:31 What's troubling me?
00:31:32 Well, let's see, I'm broke.
00:31:34 Like, food-stamp broke.
00:31:35 The... the dog's looking at me like,
00:31:38 "What the fuck are we going to do?"
00:31:38 I'm looking right back at him like,
00:31:40 "I have no fucking idea. "
00:31:41 I... I just wanted something simple.
00:31:43 This... the whole thing back-fired.
00:31:44 This is the... the furthest thing in the world from simple.
00:31:47 I... I can't write because I'm scared to death
00:31:49 that I'm going to...
00:31:52 But none of that mattered because I...
00:31:53 I was seeing you.
00:31:55 And now I don't even have that and so I feel fucked.
00:32:00 Life is a delicate negotiation.
00:32:03 What the fuck does that mean, anyway?
00:32:05 Well, it means something different for everybody.
00:32:07 Can you be more vague?
00:32:09 What do you want?
00:32:12 Man, I just want to be happy.
00:32:14 Can you be more vague?
00:32:19 What's he doing?
00:32:20 Look, sorry.
00:32:22 It's okay.
00:32:47 Are you robbing me?
00:32:49 Hey, bitch.
00:32:53 What...
00:32:54 What are you doing on my couch?
00:32:57 Chillin'.
00:32:58 How did you guys get in here?
00:32:59 This isn't exactly Fort Knox.
00:33:01 Ted's good with cheap doors.
00:33:02 Oh really?
00:33:04 Ted, did you know that breaking into somebody's house
00:33:06 Don't waste yourtime.
00:33:07 He doesn't speak any English.
00:33:08 Oh, sorry, Ted.
00:33:09 Now bring that little bean over here
00:33:10 and let me have a peak-a-boo.
00:33:11 What? No!
00:33:14 No, you guys have to leave right now.
00:33:15 Oh, look at the little bean!
00:33:18 Oh my God, to die.
00:33:21 - Okay, okay.
00:33:22 What happened, lil' bean?
00:33:25 What's wrong with him?
00:33:27 Uh... n-nothing's wrong with him.
00:33:29 - He's fine.
00:33:31 Does he have something?
00:33:32 What... have something?
00:33:33 Like hives, scabies, rabies,
00:33:35 some undiagnosed disease.
00:33:37 No.
00:33:38 - You sure?
00:33:39 he got into a fight.
00:33:41 Oh...
00:33:42 Okay, I'll take him.
00:33:43 No, no.
00:33:45 He's no longerforthe taking.
00:33:46 He belongs to me.
00:33:48 Look, I appreciate you coming by.
00:33:49 That's really nice.
00:33:51 But, really, you... you have to leave.
00:33:52 - How much?
00:33:54 How much forthe dog, bitch?
00:33:55 - Now I'm gonna break your legs.
00:33:57 What?
00:33:59 Benny!
00:34:01 You better not be.
00:34:02 Wait, who's this?
00:34:03 Who's this?
00:34:05 Oh, great, a tough guy.
00:34:06 Wait.
00:34:08 Yeah, Ted, sit the fuck down.
00:34:09 No, Benny.
00:34:12 Oh, good.
00:34:13 - Frank!
00:34:15 Jules, this is Benny.
00:34:16 Benny, this is Jules.
00:34:17 Ted, Frank, you guys have met.
00:34:19 Everybodyjust relax, okay?
00:34:21 - All right, what the fuck. Jules?
00:34:23 - You want to buythat dog?
00:34:24 Are you selling this fucking dog?
00:34:26 I'm not selling the dog, all right?
00:34:27 The dog's not for sale.
00:34:28 Everytthing's for sale.
00:34:30 Not this dog.
00:34:31 Okaywell, that's really not true, Benny.
00:34:33 Shut up, you.
00:34:35 Wait.
00:34:36 - That's right.
00:34:38 First of all, it's a he dog.
00:34:39 Okay.
00:34:41 please not tell me to shut up?
00:34:42 I... you know, I don't want to be rude or anything...
00:34:44 Then shut the fuck up.
00:34:45 Okay.
00:34:46 This guy owes me money.
00:34:47 I'm tired of waiting for it.
00:34:49 - You understand?
00:34:51 Now, just tell me the sum of which he owes you,
00:34:53 I'll give it to him to give to you,
00:34:55 then he can give me the dog!
00:34:56 Everybody gets what theywant.
00:34:58 You're a very smart lady.
00:34:59 You seem to have picked up
00:35:01 on everytthing that's going on here.
00:35:02 Oh, my God...
00:35:04 But you know what?
00:35:05 is that the money is not the issue anymore.
00:35:07 Athing has developed between me and the dog.
00:35:11 - Oh-h...
00:35:12 Fortunately, I don't have to.
00:35:13 - I want the dog.
00:35:15 Well, so do I.
00:35:16 - Shut up!
00:35:18 Okay.
00:35:19 I should warn you ahead of time,
00:35:21 Frank is an undefeated cage fighter.
00:35:23 Ted trained with the Gracies in Brazil for eight years,
00:35:26 so we're not worried.
00:35:27 So, winnertakes the dog?
00:35:29 Wiinnertakes the dog.
00:35:36 Wait, wait, where's the fucking dog?
00:35:39 What the fuck?
00:35:44 My dog.
00:35:50 Fucking psychopaths.
00:35:57 This is Jonesy.
00:35:59 Wake up, you lazyfuckers.
00:36:01 It's time to take in that miserable L.A. sunshine.
00:36:06 Get up, you fucking cunts.
00:36:11 So, um, what are you going to do?
00:36:15 I- I don't know.
00:36:18 - You need money?
00:36:21 Yeah, you're fucked.
00:36:24 Hey.
00:36:25 Is it... is it all right if I stay here
00:36:27 for... just for a couple of days?
00:36:30 What do you mean?
00:36:32 What do you mean what do I mean?
00:36:35 Well...
00:36:36 Is the dog going to shit?
00:36:38 Well, not if we don't feed it.
00:36:40 Do we have to feed it?
00:36:45 Do you, uh, want to go to this place with me tonight?
00:36:48 No, I can't.
00:36:50 I'm supposed to shoot this lesbian tonight
00:36:51 and I've really been looking forward to it.
00:36:52 I have to go here.
00:36:56 Do you know what this place is?
00:36:57 No.
00:36:59 and I have to tell herthat I don't have the money
00:37:01 that I owe her and that I'm just a complete asshole.
00:37:04 And you don't know this place?
00:37:06 No.
00:37:07 I do.
00:37:08 No way.
00:37:11 No way.
00:37:13 What?
00:37:14 Okay, she's got to be a cocktail waitress.
00:37:16 No, I don't want to...
00:37:17 - I don't want to...
00:37:27 Hot in here
00:37:44 I like to
00:37:46 What can I get you guys?
00:37:47 Uh, yes, I'd like a shrimp tempura hand roll, please.
00:37:50 What?
00:37:51 It was a joke.
00:37:52 - He was... he's kidding.
00:37:53 Any beerwould be great.
00:37:55 I don't see her.
00:37:56 I don't want to be here right now.
00:37:57 - Relax.
00:37:59 Really?
00:38:01 This place is a'ight.
00:38:03 I just... no, I...
00:38:05 No, don't worry, this one's on the house.
00:38:07 I...
00:38:08 but I'm just looking for somebody.
00:38:09 For real.
00:38:11 - Just relax.
00:38:13 - It's on the house.
00:38:24 I wasn'tshakin'
00:38:25 Then I was
00:38:27 That's when
00:38:29 Strutting in the yard
00:38:32 She gotthe shakes, yeah
00:38:34 She shake
00:38:36 Yeah, she make
00:38:37 Now she makes
00:38:42 - Breathe, baby.
00:38:44 You knowwe move,
00:38:45 'Cause we like
00:38:49 Yeah
00:38:51 You knowwe move,
00:38:53 'Cause we like
00:38:57 Yeah, yeah
00:38:59 You knowwe move,
00:39:01 'Cause we like
00:39:04 Stop it!
00:39:05 Stop.
00:39:07 You knowwe move,
00:39:09 'Cause we like
00:39:15 You knowwe move,
00:39:17 'Cause we like
00:39:19 Stop! Stop!
00:39:20 Don't move.
00:39:23 Whoa, ho...
00:39:27 Oh... oh my God.
00:39:30 Did you just...
00:39:32 Okay, this is really awkward.
00:39:34 I... I...
00:39:35 All right, let's hear it for Margo.
00:39:38 All right, come on, guys.
00:39:39 If you liked her routine, let her know.
00:39:42 Oh, God.
00:39:45 asking forthe moneyyou owe me.
00:39:47 Yeah.
00:39:48 when I tell you I don't have it.
00:39:50 I'm s... I...
00:39:51 What?
00:39:59 Well, see, that's why I came here.
00:40:00 I just didn't want you think
00:40:01 Look, just come back when you have it.
00:40:03 Well no, see, that's the thing.
00:40:05 And I just want you to know
00:40:07 Look, I'm here.
00:40:08 Okay, wait.
00:40:10 - Could you just hold on for just a sec?
00:40:12 Well, I just feel a little stupid.
00:40:13 What?
00:40:14 Yeah, a little bit.
00:40:16 Don't feel stupid, sweetie.
00:40:17 It happens.
00:40:19 What happened?
00:40:20 - "Sweetie"?
00:40:22 - What do you mean?
00:40:24 "Sweetie" makes it a little worse, don't you think?
00:40:26 Excited how, though?
00:40:27 - Look, shut up!
00:40:28 I see how that can be misconstrued,
00:40:29 But that's not how I meant it.
00:40:30 No, it's just a little condescending.
00:40:31 I get it, but that's not how I meant it.
00:40:33 I... I know.
00:40:34 Totally.
00:40:35 Okay, look.
00:40:36 you two seem like you have a lot to talk about, right?
00:40:39 This is clearly not the place.
00:40:41 I say breakfast.
00:40:42 Hi, I'm Casper.
00:40:43 I'll be paying for breakfast.
00:40:45 Um, I'll need a friend, too, though.
00:40:46 So, um, if you could grab one of your colleagues,
00:40:49 preferablythe one dancing on stage right overthere,
00:40:51 that'd be great.
00:40:52 What do you say, 2:00 a. m.?
00:40:53 Here's yourwig.
00:41:03 Let's go.
00:41:04 Shut up.
00:41:06 Her?
00:41:08 Okay.
00:41:09 I'm a...
00:41:11 I want you to know that.
00:41:22 All right.
00:41:23 I'm just going to get a couple of things.
00:41:24 Wait, what?
00:41:26 Okay, would you shut up?
00:41:28 I just can't believe that!
00:41:29 Shut up.
00:41:30 Really?
00:41:33 Hurry.
00:42:00 All right.
00:00:06 - So, Candy, um...
00:00:07 That's not your real name, is it?
00:00:09 No.
00:00:10 Oh, so then what...
00:00:12 what's your stripper name?
00:00:13 - Pal!
00:00:14 I don't know.
00:00:16 "Stage name"?
00:00:17 But everybody's so touchy.
00:00:18 Well...
00:00:19 No, it's okay, um...
00:00:21 My stripper name is Margo.
00:00:25 Margo.
00:00:28 That's great.
00:00:29 Margo, that's good.
00:00:30 And... and Candywould work too,
00:00:32 for your, uh, stripper name.
00:00:34 That's just an opinion.
00:00:35 I'm sorry.
00:00:37 Don't... for what?
00:00:38 Don't you dare...
00:00:40 Don't you dare be sorry.
00:00:41 - Ever. About anything.
00:00:42 - What are you doing?
00:00:44 Sorry!
00:00:46 Everywhere.
00:00:47 What?
00:00:49 What?
00:00:50 Seriously, give me an honest answer.
00:00:52 - Oh, my God.
00:00:53 Good, right?
00:00:55 Right?
00:00:56 - Right.
00:00:57 Did you see the thing?
00:00:58 - Babe, do you realize something?
00:01:00 That I...
00:01:02 Un... can you imagine?
00:01:04 - Really?
00:01:05 Candy and Casper.
00:01:06 Oh, my God.
00:01:08 It's like it makes sense.
00:01:09 Right.
00:01:10 It's logical almost!
00:01:12 - You're crazy.
00:01:13 - Stop it.
00:01:15 - Stop.
00:01:17 - Why?
00:01:19 Oh, look a goose!
00:01:22 Where'd that come from?
00:01:27 Uh...
00:01:30 Thanks for going along with this.
00:01:33 It's okay.
00:01:34 Oh, really?
00:01:35 I hearthe osso bucco's just amazing here.
00:01:48 All right.
00:01:50 What's the story?
00:01:52 What, the whole story?
00:01:54 what story do you want to hear?
00:01:56 No, I mean... we have some time here.
00:01:58 So, let's start with your name.
00:02:01 Why Solo?
00:02:04 Oh...
00:02:09 Well, uh, when I... when I was...
00:02:12 when I was younger... when I was born my, uh...
00:02:14 my mother considered giving me up for adoption...
00:02:18 several times.
00:02:20 and she figured I'd end up alone,
00:02:22 one way or another, so she, uh...
00:02:26 she named me Solo.
00:02:33 That's it?
00:02:34 Mm-hmm.
00:02:35 Hippy shit.
00:02:37 That wasn't a long story.
00:02:39 I mean, the other dayyou told me it was a long story.
00:02:41 That wasn't.
00:02:44 short.
00:02:46 to the point.
00:02:49 Well, I'm glad.
00:02:52 So then what happened?
00:02:53 Are you serious?
00:02:55 Well, I'm hoping that at some point
00:02:58 that you owe me but you know,
00:02:59 I don't want to rush you or anything.
00:03:00 Yeah... is this making your eyes cross a little bit?
00:03:07 How long have you been a stripper?
00:03:10 How long have you been a writer?
00:03:11 Why are you a stripper?
00:03:12 What's the name of your book?
00:03:14 Itjust... itjust doesn't seem
00:03:15 like you're that kind of girl.
00:03:17 Look, I make a lot of moneytaking off my clothes.
00:03:19 You're a writer and you're broke,
00:03:21 so don'tjudge.
00:03:23 Do you reallywant to know?
00:03:24 Mm-hmm.
00:03:29 "The Naked Abyss. "
00:03:34 Piece of shit.
00:03:36 Thank you.
00:03:38 Yeah.
00:03:40 Really bad.
00:03:42 I mean, extraordinarily bad,
00:03:44 That was actually one of the reasons why it...
00:03:45 it stood out to me.
00:03:46 Well, I'm glad I left a mark.
00:03:48 No.
00:03:50 Yeah, there is.
00:03:52 which is good news for you
00:03:53 and the rest of the book-reading world.
00:03:54 But bad news for me
00:03:55 because I can't even afford to buy dog food.
00:03:56 No.
00:03:58 "God, this guy is actually a really good writer.
00:04:01 What is he doing writing such a piece of shit?"
00:04:03 Well, look at that, ladies and gentlemen,
00:04:04 not only can she produce orgasm
00:04:06 without taking a single article of clothing off,
00:04:08 but she's a critic as well, with insight.
00:04:17 Wow, you're really a pervert.
00:04:18 I know, I know.
00:04:21 Hello!
00:04:22 We just, uh, made out in the parking lot.
00:04:24 He's a good kisser.
00:04:25 Let's get the fuck out of here.
00:04:26 How about that?
00:04:28 Let's get the food to go.
00:04:29 We'll go back and we'll take some pictures
00:04:30 and do some fun stuff.
00:04:32 What do you say, Solo?
00:04:33 Solo?
00:04:34 Like your... that's your name-name, Solo?
00:04:37 No, honeyyou... you can't...
00:04:38 Your name is Candy.
00:04:39 You know, so, like, if you
00:04:41 had a name like Pam or Ruth
00:04:44 you could saythat to him, but you can't
00:04:45 because your name is Candy.
00:04:46 Dude, you're soaking wet.
00:05:08 I'm sorry.
00:05:09 No, it's fine.
00:05:12 You know what I find really boring?
00:05:14 Besides my book?
00:05:15 Yeah, besides your book.
00:05:17 You know, the crazything
00:05:19 is that I couldn't agree with you more.
00:05:22 Every... everytime
00:05:23 somebodytells me they liked it,
00:05:25 I feel sick to my stomach.
00:05:29 It was a very successful novel, forthe record.
00:05:30 All right.
00:05:33 Okay, yeah.
00:05:36 All these girls who I work with,
00:05:37 they're always talking about
00:05:38 what they're going to do
00:05:41 I mean, one's a painter, one's a singer...
00:05:42 Lots of artists.
00:05:44 Open a boutique,
00:05:46 I mean, everybody has something.
00:05:49 I... I don't know if they really believe it
00:05:50 or if it's just some sort of excuse they have
00:05:52 for justifying what they're doing with their lives.
00:05:54 But the point is...
00:05:58 I don't have an excuse, Solo.
00:06:01 It's what I do.
00:06:03 It's myjob.
00:06:05 I was a hairdresserfor six years,
00:06:08 a really good one.
00:06:09 And I make more money in one night
00:06:12 than I made cutting hairfortwo weeks.
00:06:15 So, I'm sorry about the water,
00:06:18 but sometimes people think differentlythan I do
00:06:21 and...
00:06:23 it makes me mad.
00:06:28 You know what?
00:06:30 I... I'm... I'm...
00:06:32 I'm no one to judge you.
00:06:34 I...
00:06:35 I watch war documentaries
00:06:37 and I spend most of mytime in my apartment
00:06:40 eating Domino's pizza.
00:06:43 I... I...
00:06:45 I spent an astronomical amount of money
00:06:47 on therapy because I wrote a shitty book.
00:06:52 I owe people money, including you.
00:06:54 I... I... I'm lonely.
00:06:58 I'm tired.
00:06:59 And I'm just trying to figure it all out.
00:07:03 You know, I spent almost a year
00:07:06 in daily psychoanalysis
00:07:09 and the grand, overwhelming conclusion
00:07:13 is that I should buy a pet.
00:07:15 So you bought a dog.
00:07:16 Yeah.
00:07:18 Well, I think that's commendable.
00:07:19 Oh good.
00:07:20 The... the highlight since buying him
00:07:24 was when he shit all overthe linoleum
00:07:25 instead of the carpet.
00:07:26 But I'm glad you think that's commendable.
00:07:28 No, I do.
00:07:30 I think you're on the right track.
00:07:32 Yeah well, you know.
00:07:33 You have a dog.
00:07:35 No.
00:07:36 You got me.
00:07:38 Well, what about Vito?
00:07:40 Vito belongs to a friend.
00:07:41 I... walk him occasionally.
00:07:44 I mean, I get lonely, too.
00:07:50 See?
00:07:54 Life, it's a delicate...
00:07:56 - Negotiation.
00:07:59 Wait a minute.
00:08:00 Wait.
00:08:02 Is that what you were about to say?
00:08:04 Yeah.
00:08:05 Do you know a Dr. Nourmand?
00:08:07 What's his first name?
00:08:11 Oh...
00:08:13 Pal!
00:08:14 I'm sorry!
00:08:29 Oh, how are you?
00:08:32 Little kibble and bit.
00:08:34 Oh, look at her.
00:08:35 It's a boy.
00:08:37 That's not mine.
00:08:38 Oh.
00:08:39 What do you guys want to drink?
00:08:40 Uh, whatever.
00:08:42 Please tell me you've named the dog.
00:08:43 Uh, yeah, I haven't really had time yet.
00:08:48 I have to shoot pictures of her right now.
00:08:50 You make them drinks, okay?
00:08:51 Well, what do you have?
00:08:52 Nothing, really.
00:08:54 Hey, hey, I know.
00:08:56 He's so cute.
00:09:04 So...
00:09:07 you haven't had time?
00:09:09 Uh, yeah, things have been really crazy.
00:09:11 You know, he doesn't really have drinks
00:09:12 or anything like that.
00:09:14 Oh, that's good.
00:09:16 You should name your dog.
00:09:17 Oh, I will.
00:09:19 Hey, do you think she wants a drink?
00:09:20 Well, I don't think it matters if there's, you know...
00:09:22 Right.
00:09:26 Uh, maybe we should go out and get some drinks.
00:09:28 I mean, we just... you know, I mean...
00:09:29 Well, it's 3:00 a. m.
00:09:31 Yeah.
00:09:32 Let me just go ask them really quickly.
00:09:34 Okay.
00:09:42 What are you doing?
00:09:43 Get out of here.
00:09:47 You know, I think I might have some drinks at my house
00:09:49 if you want to just go
00:09:51 and maybe we could hang out and talk and whatever
00:09:53 and have some drinks.
00:09:54 As long as you promise
00:09:55 never, everto saythe word "drinks" again.
00:09:57 - Yes, then...
00:09:58 I'd love to hang out with you.
00:09:59 Yeah.
00:10:01 Okay.
00:10:07 Don't look at that.
00:10:08 Hey, baby, right here.
00:10:09 Yes! Yes!
00:10:11 Oh, holler at your boy!
00:10:14 Yes!
00:10:15 This is a sexy party and Candy's involved.
00:10:18 Candy's involv...
00:10:20 Oh my God!
00:10:23 You know, I've never actually liked small dogs.
00:10:26 I mean, the constant yapping for nothing.
00:10:28 But, I don't know, he has a big dog disposition.
00:10:31 You know, he looks at you like he thinks he's tough.
00:10:35 I think I like him.
00:10:40 Uh, can you just give me one second?
00:10:43 You know, I don't care if your place is messy.
00:10:44 It is.
00:10:46 I... just give me one second, okay?
00:10:49 Okay.
00:10:52 Whew, your daddy has major issues.
00:11:15 What the fuck?
00:11:21 I don't have drinks.
00:11:22 Yeah, you did.
00:11:25 Hey, do you want to just go somewhere?
00:11:28 You know, like, go somewhere and talk and whatever.
00:11:30 We can talk and...
00:11:31 I'm sorry.
00:11:33 You're not being an idiot.
00:11:35 Oh, thanks.
00:11:37 It's getting late.
00:11:39 No, it's not getting late.
00:11:41 Look...
00:11:44 I've had a... time.
00:11:46 Yeah, me too.
00:11:48 But I think maybe I should just go home.
00:11:50 Oh, okay, yeah.
00:12:14 Man, that dog can eat.
00:12:16 Yeah, it's been awhile.
00:12:19 What?
00:12:20 I'm a terrible master.
00:12:24 You don't feed your dog?
00:12:26 No. I... I do.
00:12:27 Uh, I tried to, you know,
00:12:29 but then I had to go,
00:12:32 it spilled all overthe place and then...
00:12:33 and, uh... he...
00:12:35 he doesn't like to, uh, eat peanut butter,
00:12:38 and so, uh...
00:12:42 I'm reallytired right now.
00:12:47 All right...
00:12:49 Um...
00:12:52 Why don't you relax?
00:12:55 What?
00:12:57 I don't know, like, take your shoes off...
00:13:02 Okay.
00:13:05 Make it comfy.
00:13:10 Relax.
00:13:16 Here, this is good for your back if you put it betw...
00:13:19 Yeah.
00:13:25 Do you want to lay down next to me?
00:13:30 Not so much.
00:13:33 Hypothetically speaking?
00:13:38 Not so much.
00:13:40 How come?
00:13:43 Let's just relax.
00:13:47 Okay.
00:13:53 I swore myself to celibacy.
00:13:55 Well, I said lay down, not take your clothes off.
00:13:57 But I...
00:13:59 I also said hypothetically speaking.
00:14:01 I mean, would you like to is more...
00:14:02 the question.
00:14:04 And I said, not so much.
00:14:06 I know. Twice.
00:14:07 - Why?
00:14:10 Well, it's not really mything, either.
00:14:12 And that's why I thought... it'd be nice.
00:14:16 No, really.
00:14:17 No, eat, sleep, therapy, repeat.
00:14:20 That's... that's... that's me.
00:14:24 I bet I haven't done the thing
00:14:26 longerthan you haven't done the thing.
00:14:33 Two years.
00:14:37 That's longerthan me.
00:14:39 Yeah.
00:14:41 No, I mean, I used to see guys
00:14:44 and each one, I'd think, "Oh, God, this is different. "
00:14:47 You know, "It's supposed to be. "
00:14:49 And, "It's meant to happen.
00:14:51 And...
00:14:54 nothing panned out.
00:14:59 Wait, you'd go home with guys from Cheetah's?
00:15:01 - Don'tjudge me!
00:15:03 - You're here.
00:15:05 Yeah.
00:15:08 Yeah.
00:15:09 Hey...
00:15:11 He really likes you.
00:15:13 There's something that's special about this dog.
00:15:16 You know, it's funny you should say that.
00:15:18 Not that I would, but I could have sold him
00:15:20 for ten times the amount of what I paid for him
00:15:22 several times this week and it's only Friday.
00:15:25 It's Thursday.
00:15:27 Yeah.
00:15:34 There are people readyto pay big money
00:15:37 forthat little dog.
00:15:39 Really?
00:15:41 Yeah.
00:16:15 You can come with me.
00:17:11 Hello?
00:17:18 Hello, Lola?
00:17:33 Hello?
00:17:49 Doggie?
00:17:58 Casper!
00:18:00 - Casper!
00:18:01 - Oh, sorry.
00:18:04 I'm sorry.
00:18:05 Don't everfucking do that again, man!
00:18:08 That was awful.
00:18:09 Fuck!
00:18:10 What is going on?
00:18:11 Your friend's a thief.
00:18:13 That's what's going on, all right?
00:18:14 What?
00:18:15 She's a dog thief.
00:18:17 All right.
00:18:19 I still have a hard-on here.
00:18:20 Tell me what happened.
00:18:22 I went to sleep, I woke up,
00:18:24 No Lola, no dog.
00:18:25 Okay, why would she steal your dog?
00:18:27 'Cause she's a thieving stripper!
00:18:29 I wouldn't steal your dog.
00:18:30 Oh, really?
00:18:31 you could get a lot of money for him?
00:18:34 Uh.
00:18:36 Yeah.
00:18:37 No, no, no, just wait.
00:18:38 You woke up where?
00:18:39 At her house.
00:18:41 - Lola's?
00:18:42 Did you hit it?
00:18:43 No, I did not hit it!
00:18:44 Sorry.
00:18:45 Oh, man, I can't believe this horseshit!
00:18:48 All right,
00:18:49 Maybe... just throwing it out...
00:18:51 maybe she just took the dog for a walk?
00:18:53 That's interesting.
00:18:55 Why don't you just go back overthere and see?
00:18:58 Yeah, I'm just going to do that.
00:19:00 I'm going to go back to her house, you know.
00:19:01 The dog's probably there just chilling
00:19:03 and, you know, I'm making... going crazy.
00:19:06 I'm going to go back there.
00:19:07 She won't be there.
00:19:08 What? She's not? Why?
00:19:09 Because she has Legs 'N Eggs today.
00:19:11 Okay.
00:19:13 Legs 'N Eggs is the, uh, the day shift...
00:19:16 at the club.
00:19:18 Oh, so she's at the place?
00:19:19 Yeah.
00:19:20 Okay.
00:19:23 Good luck.
00:19:27 Is that bad that I'd take the dog?
00:19:37 Lola, will you toss me that top?
00:19:43 Hey!
00:19:44 Are you kidding me?
00:19:47 Hi.
00:19:48 Lola, where's my dog?
00:19:49 I took him to your house.
00:19:50 Okay.
00:19:52 and I sw...
00:19:54 I woke up, I took him for a walk.
00:19:56 When I got back, you weren't there
00:19:57 so I had to go to work.
00:19:59 So I thought I'd just take him to your house.
00:20:01 And the door was open so I just let him in.
00:20:03 I...
00:20:04 What?
00:20:05 No.
00:20:06 - I don't know.
00:20:08 No.
00:20:09 I don't know.
00:20:12 Right.
00:20:14 What?
00:20:16 - No. No, I was just...
00:20:18 I'm not... I...
00:20:19 I just didn't... I couldn't.
00:20:20 - I don't know where he is.
00:20:22 Yeah, I'm okay.
00:20:24 Strange.
00:20:53 Pills, pills,
00:20:58 Pills, pills, gonna
00:21:04 Do you want to fuck with me?
00:21:05 Now I'm pissed.
00:21:06 Fuck with me now.
00:21:09 I'm coming, little dog.
00:21:29 Yes, may I help you?
00:21:31 Yeah, I'm here to install the thing.
00:21:39 Pills, pills,
00:21:43 Pills, pills, gonna
00:21:52 I don't believe I heard you correctly.
00:21:54 Excuse me.
00:21:56 Jules!
00:21:57 Hey, bitch?
00:21:58 Can I help you, sir?
00:22:00 Jules!
00:22:01 Where's the dog?
00:22:02 - Did you bring him?
00:22:05 This man would like to know where...
00:22:06 - Go away, Jeffrey.
00:22:08 - Scotch rocks, Jeffrey.
00:22:10 All right, where is he?
00:22:11 I'm not playing around.
00:22:12 Oh, look, he has testicles.
00:22:14 Where's who, fuck-face?
00:22:15 Okay, you know what?
00:22:17 Why don't... I... I just want my dog.
00:22:18 I... I want my dog right now.
00:22:20 Yeah, well, I wish I had him
00:22:21 so I could tell you to go fuck yourself.
00:22:23 What the hell is going on down here?
00:22:26 What the hell is he doing...
00:22:27 What are you doing here?
00:22:28 I'll be asking the questions here, fuck-face!
00:22:30 Where's the dog?
00:22:31 All right, what's with the "fuck-face"?
00:22:33 - I mean, really?
00:22:34 All right, now I'm breaking your legs.
00:22:35 That's it.
00:22:37 All right, pal, put some clothes on.
00:22:39 20-year Macallan, sir.
00:22:40 Oh, thanks, Jeffrey.
00:22:42 Hey, Jeffrey, can you set me up
00:22:43 with one of those omelettes that you do?
00:22:44 Um, I'm starving here.
00:22:45 Right away, sir.
00:22:47 Go away, Jeffrey.
00:22:48 Yes, madam.
00:22:49 Hey, baby, be nice to Jeffrey.
00:22:52 - Whatever.
00:22:53 She's "baby"?
00:22:54 I mean, give me a fucking break here.
00:22:55 Well, if you must know, you nosy little prick,
00:22:57 We are now together.
00:22:59 You know, it's difficult in life
00:23:01 to find people with common interests.
00:23:02 - Oh!
00:23:04 Where's the fucking dog?
00:23:05 He doesn't have the dog, stupid.
00:23:07 He thinks we have the dog.
00:23:08 We don't have the dog.
00:23:10 You really don't have the dog?
00:23:11 What did she just say, stupid?
00:23:15 Hey, where are the bodyguards?
00:23:16 Hospitalised.
00:23:17 Oh.
00:23:18 Oh! Uh!
00:23:21 Uh! A-ah!
00:23:24 - Ah!
00:23:55 I- I reallywant to apologize to you for earlier.
00:23:57 I was a complete asshole.
00:23:59 But I had a little bit of a freak-out
00:24:01 because last night when we went back to my place
00:24:04 and I walked in and there were two people
00:24:06 sleeping in my bed...
00:26:08 Do you mind if I sit down?
00:26:16 I am so sorry.
00:26:17 No, no, no, no.
00:26:19 - No, it is.
00:26:21 I feel like I could kill myself.
00:26:22 Don't do that.
00:26:24 I think I'm going to cry.
00:26:26 Okay, really, don't do that.
00:26:28 I... I would much rather you kill yourself.
00:26:30 Don't you want to cry?
00:26:31 I mean, maybe we should crytogether.
00:26:35 I just...
00:26:39 No, I...
00:26:41 - I... I put him inside...
00:26:43 - and then I shut the door...
00:26:45 I just...
00:26:47 Like I...
00:26:50 and it's just impossible.
00:26:52 And I... I don't... I...
00:26:57 Yeah, it sucks to care about something.
00:26:59 Everytime you do,
00:27:06 Come on.
00:28:21 Three new messages.
00:28:23 First new mess...
00:28:25 Yo.
00:28:27 What's really good?
00:28:28 Tell him I said hi.
00:28:29 Candy says hi.
00:28:30 We're just, uh... we're just sitting here.
00:28:32 I hope you're okay.
00:28:33 Let me know if there's anything I can...
00:28:35 Hey!
00:28:36 Sorry, "we" can do.
00:28:37 And call me right away if you hear anything.
00:28:38 Message erased.
00:28:40 Next message, se...
00:28:42 Hey, it's Jules.
00:28:43 Yeah, we're just driving around right now
00:28:45 looking forthe bean.
00:28:46 Do me a favour, call my cell
00:28:48 and let us know if you find him or hear anything.
00:28:50 I'm gonna...
00:28:51 What? Oh.
00:28:53 Yeah.
00:28:54 for breaking his nose.
00:28:55 Anyway, 310-613-21...
00:28:58 Message erased.
00:29:00 Next message, sent on...
00:29:02 Hey, this is Brad from Petlove.
00:29:05 Look, I don't know what kind of sick person you are.
00:29:07 I mean, from the few conversations we've had,
00:29:09 I assumed there was something wrong with you.
00:29:11 But had I known you were capable of something this low,
00:29:13 I neverwould have sold you the dog in the first place.
00:29:16 You really should consider some counselling, sicko.
00:29:19 I mean, you don't want the dog, fine.
00:29:21 There's millions of people that would love to have him.
00:29:23 Here's the deal.
00:29:24 I'm calling the Humane Society.
00:29:26 You want to talk?
00:29:28 Message saved.
00:29:30 End of messages.
00:29:31 What the fuck?
00:29:36 Doggie?
00:31:48 Look ahead as we pass
00:31:50 Try and focus on it
00:31:51 I won'tbe fooled
00:31:52 By a cheap
00:31:55 Itmust have been
00:31:56 Just a cardboard
00:31:58 Top-40 cast-off from
00:32:01 Walkin'in L.A.
00:32:04 Walkin'in L.A.
00:32:06 Nobodywalks in L.A.
00:32:11 Walkin'in L.A.
00:32:14 Nobodywalks in L.A.
00:32:16 I don'tknow
00:32:17 Could have been
00:32:19 Or someone just
00:32:21 The freeway
00:32:22 Shopping cartpusher
00:32:26 One thing's for sure
00:32:27 He isn't starring
00:32:29 'Cause he's walkin'
00:32:32 Walkin'in L.A.
00:32:34 Onlya nobody
00:33:04 Walkin'in L.A.
00:33:06 Walkin'in L.A.
00:33:08 Nobody walks in L.A.
00:33:13 Walkin'in L.A.
00:33:15 Onlya nobody
00:33:18 Walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin', walkin'
00:33:21 Nobody's walkin', walkin',
00:33:23 Nobody's walkin', walkin',
00:33:27 Nobody's walkin', walkin',
00:33:31 Nobody's walkin', walkin',
00:33:34 Nobody's walkin', walkin',
00:33:38 Nobodywalks in L.A.
00:33:42 Are you trying to tell me that dog
00:33:44 walked all the way over here by itself?
00:33:45 That's what I'm telling you, Brad.
00:33:50 You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox.
00:33:52 looks like it's going to rain today
00:33:55 in this fuckin' hole.
00:33:56 I am so fuckin' overthe moon it's not funny.
00:34:09 Well, maybe it's betterthis way.
00:34:15 Who knows?
00:34:16 I think I might marrythis girl.
00:34:20 Candy.
00:34:25 I'll kill you, pal.
00:34:27 Oh, get the fuck outta here.
00:34:36 Look at this.
00:34:42 Bang!
00:34:44 Hey!
00:34:45 How'd he do that?
00:34:47 How the fuck did he learn how to do that?
00:34:50 I don't know.
00:34:51 He does it when he hears a horn, too.
00:34:53 I think that when he ran away
00:34:54 he had a close call with a car or something,
00:34:55 and thought he was dead.
00:34:57 Hey.
00:34:58 - Hey!
00:35:01 Bang!
00:35:02 Not for me.
00:35:04 It's good that you have it and I don't.
00:35:06 Hello.
00:35:08 Ugh!
00:35:09 Really, lady, just relax, okay?
00:35:11 It's just underwear.
00:35:22 Well, I think you're making the right decision.
00:35:24 - You do?
00:35:26 It's not some sort of repeat abandonment thing or anything?
00:35:29 I don't know.
00:35:31 Okay, don't do that.
00:35:33 Don't do what?
00:35:34 Okay, you're still doing it.
00:35:36 Why did you buythe dog?
00:35:40 So... so I could love it.
00:35:42 Okay.
00:35:43 what you're doing now?
00:35:45 Just because I think it's the right thing to do.
00:35:47 Good.
00:35:52 Out of what place are you going to do it?
00:35:54 I mean is it, what, fear?
00:35:57 Uh, confusion?
00:36:00 Is it frustration?
00:36:01 I mean, is just that you simply can't handle it?
00:36:06 No.
00:36:07 Then what is it?
00:36:22 It's love.
00:36:30 It's Howard, bythe way.
00:36:33 What?
00:36:35 My name.
00:36:37 Howard.
00:37:36 - Hey.
00:37:37 Oh, you're all wet.
00:37:38 Come... come in.
00:37:39 No, wait... you know,
00:37:41 I wanted to show you something really quickly.
00:37:53 Oh, my God!
00:37:55 Where was he?
00:37:56 Hi, little buddy.
00:37:58 Oh, it's a long story.
00:38:00 Oh, come in.
00:38:01 Well, uh, actually, I g... I got to go.
00:38:06 I, uh... I'm...
00:38:10 Afriend of mine just bought a hotel up in...
00:38:12 up in Needles, New Mexico,
00:38:13 and I thought that, uh...
00:38:16 I kind like the way it sounded,
00:38:19 It has a nice alliteration.
00:38:20 Anyway, I...
00:38:22 to, uh... to get away
00:38:26 Right.
00:38:27 And, uh...
00:38:29 I just wanted to say goodbye and...
00:38:32 thank you.
00:38:37 And what?
00:38:41 Well, I-I want you to have him.
00:38:46 What?
00:38:49 You're wrong.
00:38:50 It's good to love something.
00:38:53 Painful or not, it's worth it.
00:38:56 I think...
00:38:58 than having something
00:39:01 is not having it and...
00:39:06 'Cause life is a...
00:39:14 And I know it's none of my business,
00:39:16 but I think you should go back to cutting hair.
00:39:18 I... I...
00:39:19 You can take it or leave it.
00:39:22 I can't take your dog, Solo.
00:39:24 No, you need him.
00:39:25 No.
00:39:26 Believe me, I...
00:39:28 I want him but he think he's...
00:39:29 he's much better off with you.
00:39:31 He's safer, anyway.
00:39:35 You can... you can have...
00:39:44 I do.
00:39:47 I do.
00:39:49 Good.
00:39:52 That's good.
00:39:56 Well, I'm going to leave
00:40:02 Okay.
00:40:04 I named him, bythe way.
00:40:05 You can change it if you want,
00:40:08 Spot?
00:40:11 Yeah, no, I just thought,
00:40:13 Uh, solid dog name, you know.
00:40:16 But he doesn't have any spots.
00:40:17 I know.
00:40:19 Really?
00:40:20 Uh, no, no, not really.
00:40:28 Thank you.
00:40:29 No, thank you.
00:40:34 I don't know what to say.
00:40:35 No, that's okay.
00:40:38 I'm... I'm gonna...
00:40:40 - Needles?
00:40:41 - New Mexico.
00:40:42 Right.
00:40:46 Bye, Spot.
00:40:47 I love you.
00:42:01 You didn't walk here, did you?
00:42:26 This is Jonesy here from Jonesy's Jukebox.
00:42:30 My neighbour's got this fuckin' dog
00:42:32 that don't stop barking.
00:42:35 I'm thinking of ways to kill it.
00:42:36 The best I could come up with
00:42:38 was you get a bunch of fuckin' rattlesnakes,
00:42:41 you sling 'em overthe yard.
00:42:42 Baby ones, 'cause they really sting
00:42:45 and they don't know
00:42:48 And then one of them's going to get the fuckin' dog,
00:42:50 is going to kill it and no one's going to get blamed
00:42:52 'cause they're going think
00:42:54 You know what I mean?
00:42:55 It's not like me going overthere
00:42:57 with poison and poisoning the bastard.
00:42:58 I think that's the best one.
00:43:00 I think that's what I'm gonna do.
00:43:01 You're listening to Jonesy.
00:43:03 Take it away, me old son.