The Goods Live Hard Sell Hard

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00:00:57 She's a real beauty, huh?
00:01:00 This car is for you. Now, let me guess.
00:01:03 The man of the house
00:01:05 so the little lady
00:01:07 while he plays gin rummy
00:01:10 Actually, we need a car
00:01:13 Rock climbing?
00:01:16 Man, things are changing.
00:01:17 I remember when men were men
00:01:20 and we'd call coloreds, coloreds.
00:01:22 You know, actually,
00:01:24 Hey, come on, sweetie, don't be a bitch.
00:01:28 Hey, hey, hey,
00:01:30 Hey, boy, I fought in the big war.
00:01:35 You understand? Hold this.
00:01:38 - Oh, my God.
00:01:44 Somebody get Dick Lewiston off the lot.
00:01:46 What's it matter anyways, Mr. Selleck?
00:01:49 - It's a damn killing field out there.
00:01:53 - Terrific. Good job, Teddy.
00:01:57 non-sequential unmarked bills
00:02:00 Well, that's a bank bag, Teddy.
00:02:04 My eyes. My eyes. My LASIK.
00:02:08 - Shit. Somebody call the cops.
00:02:10 - Teddy, go flush your eyes out.
00:02:14 We got to do something.
00:02:16 I've had this lot 27 years,
00:02:20 We either do something drastic,
00:02:23 I'm thinking about calling a hotshot,
00:02:27 I was thinking about
00:02:30 What?
00:02:32 - A mercenary?
00:02:36 The bank's crawling up my ass
00:02:40 If we don't turn this thing around
00:02:42 - this place is gonna be a TCBY.
00:02:46 All they do is sell cars and move on.
00:02:48 There's no connection
00:02:50 Don't do this.
00:02:53 Please, God,
00:03:07 - By the way, great sale.
00:03:11 Very good.
00:03:14 Thank you, darling.
00:03:15 I don't know why, but I can't enjoy
00:03:18 My mom used to
00:03:21 She would cook bacon all day long.
00:03:26 Don "The Goods" Ready. Yes. Yeah.
00:03:31 You want some cars sold.
00:03:34 Fourth of July weekend, three-day sale.
00:03:38 Two hundred and eleven cars
00:03:41 Guess what, fellas?
00:03:45 Fuck, Don.
00:03:46 Honey, we just finished the last job
00:03:48 I still smell like customer.
00:03:50 Don, I don't mean to complain,
00:03:52 but it's been a year and a half
00:03:55 And I'm 90% sure
00:03:58 I don't know, Don.
00:04:00 You've been pushing us pretty hard
00:04:03 Forget about 'Querque, all right?
00:04:05 What do we do? We sell cars.
00:04:07 What does a tiger do?
00:04:10 What else are we gonna do in this life?
00:04:12 I need every swinging dick in that field.
00:04:25 All right. We are headed
00:04:29 Population 98,000.
00:04:30 It's a family business.
00:04:34 Married 30 years to wife, Tammy.
00:04:37 One daughter, lvy, age 29,
00:04:40 Yes, she does.
00:04:42 One son named Peter, age 10,
00:04:47 Looks like 10-year-old Peter
00:04:50 Yeah, it must be the fax ink.
00:04:52 God bless the Hacienda Court,
00:04:55 - What are you doing, honey?
00:05:00 Sir, there's no smoking on airplanes.
00:05:03 I know. It's ridiculous, isn't it?
00:05:06 Sir, if you light that,
00:05:11 Stacey, do you know when the first
00:05:15 - No.
00:05:17 And did you know that in 1969,
00:05:19 when smoking was allowed
00:05:21 - we put a man on the moon?
00:05:25 Look.
00:05:29 You know what that is?
00:05:31 That's a remnant of a better time,
00:05:36 And it starts with ashtrays,
00:05:37 and it ends with all of our precious
00:05:43 I remember back in the day
00:05:46 and you knew
00:05:48 - A little smoking, a little drinking.
00:05:50 And the stewardesses.
00:05:52 Stacey, you come from a proud tradition
00:06:00 And now you can't do one damn thing
00:06:02 without someone reporting you to
00:06:06 - Am I right?
00:06:07 - You listen to Don.
00:06:10 and nibble my Old Spice
00:06:12 just to get on the plane, Stacey.
00:06:14 They made me throw out
00:06:16 I had to give up my bath jellies.
00:06:17 They made me breastfeed
00:06:19 That's what I'm talking about.
00:06:23 Like Henry David Thoreau
00:06:25 and David Lee Roth
00:06:27 we can say, "Enough. Enough injustice."
00:06:30 And when you and I are old and gray,
00:06:33 and remember when we were
00:06:36 and we smoked one,
00:06:42 Yeah.
00:06:48 You motherfucker.
00:06:51 Nice work. Nice work.
00:06:54 Who are you?
00:06:56 I'm Don Ready, and I got the goods.
00:07:05 This is some killer kush.
00:07:11 Nun pops her head out and says,
00:07:18 Poor Don. It's like everything he does
00:07:23 Takes a lot of pain to sell cars
00:07:50 - You're here from Selleck Motors?
00:07:53 You're supposed to put the name of the
00:07:56 I love the drawing, though.
00:07:57 Yeah, I'm a really good drawer.
00:07:59 I like to draw stomach muscles
00:08:01 I can also draw Darth Vader's helmet.
00:08:05 I can draw a saber,
00:08:09 It doesn't even matter.
00:08:10 What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:08:14 Are you retarded?
00:08:18 Don't move. Dad, Amber Alert! Adult!
00:08:23 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! Dad!
00:08:27 Here, relax, Peter, okay? Take a swig.
00:08:29 It looks like it wasn't the fax ink.
00:08:33 It's a pituitary problem, ma'am.
00:08:35 He's 10,
00:08:38 I'm sorry, buddy. I am totally sorry.
00:08:42 Good effort there. You must be Ben.
00:08:45 - That's me.
00:08:47 Wow! Can I ask you a quick question?
00:08:53 - No idea.
00:08:54 - Don Ready. How are you?
00:08:57 - Went old-school with you.
00:08:59 I'm Babs.
00:09:02 And this beautiful man is Jibby.
00:09:05 - Hi.
00:09:07 And who is this guy?
00:09:10 - Brent Gage, sir.
00:09:14 I don't know why, but right off the bat,
00:09:19 What's going on?
00:09:21 Peter, let's help the crew
00:09:23 Awesome. Hold this, Dad. Transformer.
00:09:30 Cute, isn't he?
00:09:32 I'd fuck him.
00:09:33 Hey, what is wrong with you, lady?
00:09:36 We're only gonna be here
00:09:38 so try not to fall in love with me.
00:09:39 I'm sorry, has a girl ever bought that?
00:09:41 I'm just, you know, buckshot approach.
00:09:42 I'm just gonna keep firing
00:09:44 That's delightful.
00:09:47 So, there was a kid up the street,
00:09:51 had one of those brand-new,
00:09:55 Side brakes,
00:09:57 In other words, fully loaded.
00:09:59 What am I driving?
00:10:01 A fucking Hoppity Hip.
00:10:03 Basically a balloon with a handle on it.
00:10:07 It might as well have had
00:10:09 "My parents don't work."
00:10:11 So I walk up to him, hop up to him.
00:10:14 and I say, "You seem like a cool guy."
00:10:17 "Why don't you have a Hoppity Hip?"
00:10:19 You know? I tell him it's faster,
00:10:22 It's got the finger-molded hand grip,
00:10:26 I work this kid like a pro.
00:10:30 Offered him a bubble gum cigarette.
00:10:32 Even threw in some night crawlers
00:10:36 Bottom line is,
00:10:38 to bounce around on the balloon,
00:10:41 while I rode away on his brand-new,
00:10:46 I like to think that was my first sale.
00:11:04 Right over there is Selleck Motors.
00:11:12 Jesus, Ben,
00:11:16 Looks like the bus station
00:11:22 We're gonna fix your place up, Ben.
00:11:24 We're gonna get you
00:11:26 goddamn American flag,
00:11:28 Plus, we need a radio and TV blitz,
00:11:31 and we're gonna need to round up
00:11:33 I know just who to call.
00:11:35 Now, let's hit the Hacienda Courts,
00:11:58 I mean, I paid for it.
00:12:05 All right, let's keep this anonymous.
00:12:09 Don't even... Don't you look at me.
00:12:14 Yeah. Dawson's Creek.
00:12:21 Okay, Peter,
00:12:27 Now, everybody dig in. Don't be shy.
00:12:29 I'm sorry, Mrs. Selleck.
00:12:30 I'm one of those rare birds that prefers
00:12:35 Well, I got to tell you, Don,
00:12:39 But you do what you need to do.
00:12:41 You know, Mr. Don Ready,
00:12:46 to come back and help us out
00:12:49 - Wow.
00:12:51 You can take the girl
00:12:53 Hey, Brent.
00:12:54 ...you can't take Temecula
00:12:55 You see my wife over there?
00:12:58 Yeah.
00:13:00 It is a dead marriage.
00:13:03 But, you know, you learn to live with it.
00:13:06 You drive around, out at night,
00:13:13 Some people call it cruising.
00:13:16 Me, I call it looking for a friend.
00:13:19 - Are you my friend, Brent?
00:13:22 So tomorrow morning, our troops
00:13:25 at 0700, and then
00:13:28 like a mountain lion
00:13:32 Make sure your underwear
00:13:34 because you will have a boner.
00:13:39 Amen.
00:13:41 I like the sound of that. Right, Brent?
00:13:43 By Tuesday, my friend,
00:13:46 Well, hear, hear.
00:13:48 Okay, Mr. Ready,
00:13:50 this business has been in our family
00:13:53 Don't worry about it, darling.
00:13:54 We're not gonna break the rules.
00:13:57 Okay, okay. I just... I know your type.
00:14:00 You know, it's all the thrill of the hunt.
00:14:03 I mean, you crave it. You corner it.
00:14:06 But, Mr. Ready,
00:14:09 Do you know what to do
00:14:15 - Are we talking about pussy?
00:14:18 - That's what she was saying.
00:14:21 I'm sorry, I apologize.
00:14:23 or whatever religion dominates
00:14:26 but you have to admit, it did sound like
00:14:27 she was talking about
00:14:29 - Didn't it?
00:14:30 I guess it kind of did. Yeah.
00:14:35 Hey, come on, man.
00:14:36 Jibby was a pro bowler
00:14:39 Got a lot of great stories.
00:14:40 Well, what can I say?
00:14:44 the height of professional bowling,
00:14:49 Ivy, I think you got the wrong impression
00:14:53 I'm a really sensitive person, all right?
00:14:55 For instance, I'm not a texter.
00:14:59 - Hey, everybody, I'm lvy's fiancé.
00:15:02 Paxton, such a weird thing to say
00:15:05 Well, I'm just letting everybody
00:15:08 Well, I am Paxton Harding
00:15:12 And you must be the guys who are
00:15:17 - Yeah. That's the idea.
00:15:21 That's because
00:15:24 Well, a couple of friends ought to know
00:15:28 - My name's Don Ready.
00:15:31 I guess I won that little exchange.
00:15:34 In fact, let me be the first
00:15:37 Everyone at Harding lmports
00:15:40 is rooting for you guys.
00:15:41 You got a Harding guarantee on that.
00:15:46 I'm off to rehearsal.
00:15:47 All right? I want to give my two ladies
00:15:51 You are so sweet.
00:15:53 You know, Paxton here is in one
00:15:57 Balls Out.
00:15:58 - No, Big Ups.
00:16:00 Either way.
00:16:03 Big Ups is the name of the band.
00:16:06 You know, we sing about life
00:16:09 and I'm not gonna lie to you,
00:16:13 Are you in a boy band?
00:16:15 No, I'm in a man band.
00:16:18 You're men in a boy band.
00:16:20 We opened for O-Town,
00:16:23 - Google it.
00:16:25 - Google it.
00:16:27 Why wouldn't you google it?
00:16:29 - Google "Big Ups."
00:16:31 It said you fucking blow.
00:16:34 That was O-Town's website.
00:16:36 You know what? I'm rising above this.
00:16:38 While you guys are yukking it up,
00:16:43 Ricky and Jason are in the car. Let's go.
00:16:45 - All right, bye-bye.
00:16:47 Man, that dude is garbage.
00:16:50 What a jerk.
00:16:51 Who wants a big hunk of this meat?
00:16:58 Hey, guys.
00:17:00 A couple guys came in here earlier
00:17:02 and I got a little bit of bad news for you,
00:17:06 Here's Radio Moscow.
00:17:07 It's funny, I haven't been in Temecula in,
00:17:10 Last time I was here,
00:17:12 I spent two straight days
00:17:15 with the third runner-up
00:17:18 Never saw her again.
00:17:19 Hey, what do you make
00:17:21 I got to be honest with you,
00:17:23 have you noticed him saying
00:17:25 - Touching me?
00:17:30 That is disgusting.
00:17:31 But don't get me wrong,
00:17:33 Babs?
00:17:35 Can I tell you a deep, dark secret
00:17:40 Baby, I really would rather you not.
00:17:43 I'm 42 years old,
00:17:47 and I ain't never, ever
00:17:51 - You're a virgin?
00:17:53 No, I've been with hundreds of women,
00:17:56 I just ain't never really ever made love
00:18:00 You know, I've done three ways,
00:18:03 ménage à trois, ménage cinq, six.
00:18:06 I've 69ed, 89ed, 114ed.
00:18:11 Golden, diamond and platinum showers.
00:18:16 I mean, I've ripped shit up.
00:18:19 Done all that.
00:18:23 But I ain't never, ever made love
00:18:26 You will, Jibby.
00:18:28 As long as we're being honest,
00:18:32 I've something I want to share with you.
00:18:34 I think I want to make love
00:18:37 What?
00:18:39 But he's in the body
00:18:40 so who's to blame?
00:18:42 - You the adult.
00:18:45 You'd be the one to blame.
00:18:49 Hey, Babs. Hey, Jibby.
00:18:51 Hey, Don,
00:18:54 I think they might be good for the sale.
00:18:55 Yeah, sign them up. Good energy,
00:18:58 Hey, guys,
00:19:01 'cause in 25 minutes the kitchen
00:19:04 - Are you disgusted? I am.
00:19:09 You sure, Don?
00:19:12 Hey. 'Querque was 'Querque.
00:19:15 It's time for all of us to move on,
00:19:18 And it starts with booking that DJ.
00:19:27 Where is he? I even wore my tight
00:19:30 Just relax, honey. He's getting ready.
00:19:32 As for the underwear,
00:19:35 Look, I may be old-fashioned,
00:19:36 but the man says,
00:19:38 I wear my boner pants.
00:19:41 You can do this. You are a winner.
00:19:45 I'm a fucking stallion. I should be owned
00:19:48 There's almost no doubt
00:19:52 In the schoolyard, a Don Ready
00:19:56 All right, fellas,
00:20:00 Now, you all know the deal.
00:20:03 Don Ready and his team
00:20:06 Basically, they will be your boss
00:20:09 Now, I trust them. And if you trust them,
00:20:14 You were the first person to wear
00:20:16 - I really regret that.
00:20:20 Look at my husband.
00:20:22 Give me a minute.
00:20:31 I'm Babs Merrick.
00:20:34 A story about a girl who grew up
00:20:39 Well, one day, this little girl fell in love
00:20:44 But their love was too good to last,
00:20:47 and one day,
00:20:50 saying, "Winston,
00:20:55 Coroner found two bullets in his heart.
00:20:58 One of them
00:21:01 It's a hard world, mama
00:21:05 'Cause life in the ghetto
00:21:07 Well, everyone told this little girl
00:21:11 But she didn't do that.
00:21:13 She made sure every single one
00:21:16 looked her straight in the eye
00:21:18 before she pulled the trigger
00:21:21 Jose!
00:21:24 Ramon!
00:21:27 It ain't easy
00:21:29 I got to tell you people, on TV,
00:21:33 they don't show the dead man
00:21:37 Make no mistake, gentlemen,
00:21:40 when you die, poop leaves your butt.
00:21:46 Man. That is a dark story.
00:21:50 I know. I made it up.
00:21:53 - What?
00:21:55 It ain't easy
00:21:56 - She made it up?
00:21:58 I'm Brent Gage.
00:22:00 They call me The Magician.
00:22:04 I have never, never lost a sale
00:22:10 Quick story. A couple years ago,
00:22:12 He was in bankruptcy,
00:22:15 sleeping in the left leg
00:22:17 The next day,
00:22:19 I financed that man a car,
00:22:24 Hammer lived in that car
00:22:27 So you guys are just taking over?
00:22:29 With your cool nicknames
00:22:32 I mean, how are we supposed to feel?
00:22:34 Yeah, what about our sales?
00:22:36 It's all good.
00:22:39 I'm Don "The Goods" Ready.
00:22:41 Everyone here told you their story.
00:22:44 I have hair on my balls and I sell cars.
00:22:49 All right. Today, tomorrow, Monday.
00:22:53 It's July 4th weekend, everybody,
00:22:58 When you guys are deep in the shit,
00:23:00 I want you to think about the real heroes
00:23:04 The Revolutionary War soldier
00:23:09 with nothing to numb the pain
00:23:12 and that guy with the weird headband
00:23:15 What about Private Jones, huh?
00:23:20 Got his guts shot out
00:23:25 Dick here knows what I'm talking about.
00:23:26 He's talking about freedom,
00:23:32 Don't even get me started
00:23:35 Our Navy boys out there
00:23:39 when all of a sudden, here comes
00:23:43 This dealership is our battlefield.
00:23:48 We are the Americans,
00:23:53 Never again.
00:23:55 Never again!
00:23:57 - Never again! Never again! Never again!
00:24:02 Let's get him!
00:24:05 Eat my shit!
00:24:09 - Dad, don't you think you should step in?
00:24:14 Stop! All right, stop!
00:24:15 Everyone, calm down!
00:24:19 Okay, we have all just participated
00:24:23 Was it a hate crime
00:24:27 All right, everyone, just calm down.
00:24:29 we have all just committed
00:24:31 Which means that G-men
00:24:35 Let's get our story straight.
00:24:39 Dang came at us with a samurai sword,
00:24:42 fire extinguisher,
00:24:45 - Yeah.
00:24:47 No, I did not. No, I did not. I...
00:24:49 We got to get a sword
00:24:52 There was no weaponry of any kind!
00:24:54 Okay, Dang, how about this?
00:24:57 In return, you agree to forget all about
00:25:04 Okay.
00:25:05 - That's it, Dang. That's the guy we love.
00:25:10 I'm not even Japanese. I'm Korean.
00:25:12 Korean? Why didn't you say so?
00:25:15 On that note, let's man those
00:25:18 Never again.
00:25:20 We got one hour.
00:25:34 Really simple, boys. If you take this six,
00:25:38 You know what you can do with this?
00:25:40 You can take this
00:25:43 You've taken $3,000 off this car.
00:25:48 - Zooha, to sell you must...
00:25:53 Nice! Teddy Dang, to close, you must...
00:25:56 Lie, loan, leave.
00:25:59 Nice. Mr. Dick Lewiston?
00:26:03 Go fuck yourself,
00:26:06 - I've seen more hair on bacon.
00:26:10 Wow, you must be the girls
00:26:12 - Yes. Heather.
00:26:14 Your job is to greet people,
00:26:17 - I have an idea.
00:26:18 Since it's July 4th, I thought it'd be good
00:26:21 about how this government
00:26:24 Let me guess, you are dancing to pay
00:26:28 - Yes. How did you know?
00:26:30 Stripper stories,
00:26:31 college student, single mom, cokehead.
00:26:34 What's your son's name?
00:26:36 I'm kidding.
00:26:37 I'm bananas.
00:26:40 Sapphire, wipe your nose. God.
00:26:42 All right, we gonna be selling
00:26:47 And tomorrow,
00:26:50 American Idol's very own
00:26:55 Yes. Eric Bice will be right here,
00:26:58 Hey, DJ. This place is about to pop.
00:27:01 Why don't you throw on
00:27:03 Good call.
00:27:12 Nobody tells DJ Request what to play.
00:27:15 Let them tell you what to play,
00:27:17 They lose respect for you,
00:27:20 Not today.
00:27:24 All right.
00:27:26 - You want to thumb wrestle?
00:27:30 - You won.
00:27:33 - What are you gonna do to me now?
00:27:36 - You better spank me or something.
00:27:41 Ten and a half.
00:27:42 Do you hear that, Ready?
00:27:47 Brent. Those are my kids.
00:27:50 Yeah. And probably a good reason
00:27:53 What are you talking about?
00:27:54 Zooha, let's face it.
00:27:57 I know it, you know it,
00:27:58 and every Chuck E. Cheese
00:28:01 You know who doesn't need to know it?
00:28:04 I don't understand.
00:28:05 Look, you put up a picture of skinny kids.
00:28:08 Customer thinks, "Oh, my lord,
00:28:11 "He's got to feed those hungry mouths."
00:28:13 Okay. I get it. I get it.
00:28:15 Should I take down the picture
00:28:17 No, that's your closer.
00:28:19 Fat kids, customer hates you.
00:28:24 Shit, Zooha. That's the best fat wife
00:28:28 Can I have a copy of it?
00:28:32 Nice balloons.
00:28:34 Wow, that line must have
00:28:36 Come on,
00:28:38 So, you pumped for the big day?
00:28:40 Yeah, it should be great.
00:28:41 They say you sell some cars.
00:28:44 No, no, I'm not talking about the sale.
00:28:47 Excited to spend the next 60 years
00:28:53 - Paxton?
00:28:54 BMW boy band Paxton.
00:28:58 Now, now.
00:29:01 All right, what about you?
00:29:02 You have any relationships
00:29:05 Have you seen what these girls
00:29:07 I mean, we are living in the golden age
00:29:11 - Wow, that has got to be tiring.
00:29:13 You don't want a home life?
00:29:15 You don't want to live for somebody
00:29:18 No time.
00:29:21 and I like myself a lot. I'm having a blast.
00:29:28 You know what? I don't believe you.
00:29:46 Look at them.
00:29:56 Give away free hot dogs
00:30:00 shit's gonna go down.
00:30:01 I feel exactly like I did before I landed
00:30:07 There's no difference at all.
00:30:12 Attaboy, Teddy.
00:30:18 Sell these bastard cars! Sell the metal.
00:30:23 Sell the metal. Sell the metal.
00:30:25 Sell the metal. Sell the metal.
00:30:36 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
00:30:49 Welcome to Selleck Motors.
00:30:53 - Hi.
00:30:55 - Hi. Welcome to Selleck Motors.
00:30:57 Welcome to Selleck Motors.
00:31:07 Thanks so much.
00:31:16 What's wrong with her?
00:31:19 Stephanie.
00:31:22 Hey, little Stephanie.
00:31:27 You're amazing.
00:31:29 Shut the fuck up.
00:31:30 Why don't we get you into
00:31:34 Zooha!
00:31:43 - You feel it?
00:31:45 I call it the divine rush.
00:31:48 Money for cars. Salesmen
00:31:51 Capitalism, it's my high.
00:31:54 I haven't seen the lot like this
00:31:57 You know, rumor is that
00:32:00 that was in Smokey and the Bandit.
00:32:02 That weekend this place was hopping.
00:32:04 I was thinking we should get that
00:32:06 It's bad for business.
00:32:07 No, that car is a collector's car. That's
00:32:12 But in this Auto Lister, they have
00:32:17 Wow. What a great deal.
00:32:20 - Excuse me, can I see that?
00:32:23 My, my.
00:32:24 If you can get this car for 1,000 less,
00:32:27 you should definitely buy.
00:32:28 In fact, let me call.
00:32:31 Thank you.
00:32:33 - Here you go.
00:32:37 Hello?
00:32:38 Hi, I'm calling about the car
00:32:41 Can we get a drink?
00:32:43 - No, I don't want to go for a drink.
00:32:46 We can drive around.
00:32:49 - Maybe go to the reservoir.
00:32:51 - Put the lotion in the basket.
00:32:54 - Put the lotion in the fucking basket.
00:32:57 See, I try to tell women all the time.
00:32:59 Auto Lister's like MySpace
00:33:03 I don't want to see another one of these
00:33:08 I think I'll just take this car
00:33:13 Okay, here's the deal, Gary.
00:33:17 I'm a woman, got a luscious body,
00:33:20 I'm gonna use sex to sell cars.
00:33:22 You know what's gonna sell this car?
00:33:24 I mean, I like men.
00:33:27 I like men a lot.
00:33:29 I can't believe I'm doing this.
00:33:34 I love women.
00:33:37 Yeah?
00:33:39 I mean, I'm talking me, an Asian chick,
00:33:44 - Yeah.
00:33:46 And you know what?
00:33:50 like, you know,
00:33:52 - Okay.
00:33:54 "Looks like I could do some work here."
00:33:56 - And she takes off her hat.
00:33:59 And then you guys come over
00:34:01 - Yeah. Hey, hey, guess what?
00:34:02 - What? No.
00:34:04 Yeah, 'cause I'm the superintendent,
00:34:05 and I'm working on like paperwork,
00:34:08 Yeah.
00:34:10 - "What is that noise?"
00:34:11 "There's not supposed to be anybody
00:34:12 "Hey, who's in there?"
00:34:15 I listen by the door for a while,
00:34:17 - I still can't see the steam.
00:34:21 "Who is that man?"
00:34:22 "Hey, you're not supposed
00:34:23 - Can I give you something to say?
00:34:25 Say this, say, say,
00:34:26 "Hey, I knew something was missing
00:34:29 "a big cock."
00:34:31 "I knew something was missing
00:34:34 And we're fucking, and then
00:34:36 - Fuck. I just thought of something, man.
00:34:38 How the fuck are you gonna get there?
00:34:40 I'm right next door, remember?
00:34:42 No, man, this is miles and miles away,
00:34:45 I'm, like, managing
00:34:46 Yes!
00:34:48 How are you... It's across town.
00:34:50 I don't know. I don't have a car.
00:34:52 No, man,
00:34:54 Yes. I am gonna buy this car.
00:34:57 - No.
00:34:59 Go see the dudes in the back!
00:35:00 - Run, man! Run!
00:35:03 In your country,
00:35:06 because you're stealing from us.
00:35:08 You guys have got an amazing deal,
00:35:10 Mom! Mom!
00:35:30 - How we doing?
00:35:32 I was worried earlier,
00:35:35 - Check out that Blake kid. He's on fire.
00:35:38 Wasn't that your move?
00:35:40 Well, mine ended
00:35:44 but it's damn close.
00:35:46 You remember when I told you
00:35:49 23 years ago in Temecula?
00:35:51 I didn't put a hat on my jimmy.
00:35:54 Jesus, Don. You don't think
00:36:04 I'll tell you what,
00:36:05 - and I'll meet you there, all right?
00:36:09 That's impressive, Blake.
00:36:11 Spend a lot of time
00:36:13 No, but my mom always said
00:36:16 I remember this one time as a kid,
00:36:18 I traded my crappy Huffy bike to this kid
00:36:20 for his brand-new shiny Schwinn.
00:36:22 - No shit.
00:36:24 Hey, was your old man around a lot
00:36:28 No. He took off before I was born.
00:36:31 I'm gonna go back to the sale, Don.
00:36:33 - Blake, how old are you?
00:36:38 Hey, kid. Don.
00:36:40 Remember that guy
00:36:42 Here's what I got him to do.
00:36:44 Buy his own house from himself for $1,
00:36:47 which means nothing, but to the bank...
00:37:00 Don.
00:37:01 - Hey.
00:37:03 Good job.
00:37:07 What'd I do, Don?
00:37:11 Fuck you, I don't need your validation.
00:37:19 Look at that number.
00:37:23 I am looking at some
00:37:25 Yeah, we've actually sold 34%
00:37:28 Wow! I'm proud of you.
00:37:30 And, by the way, congrats,
00:37:34 haven't seen that in years.
00:37:35 - That was me. You can suck it.
00:37:40 Guy takes a customer's trade-in,
00:37:44 sells it right back to said customer
00:37:48 And we're looking at
00:37:50 Bo Bice's brother coming in here
00:37:54 Shut up. Eric Bice?
00:37:55 The very same.
00:37:59 And after a hot first day,
00:38:03 - What?
00:38:04 Tell them about it, Dick.
00:38:05 He's talking about karaoke,
00:38:09 God damn,
00:38:11 - Let's go. Let's get into it.
00:38:16 I've been watching you out there, girl.
00:38:19 Your moves are probably responsible
00:38:22 Well, any individual who pursues
00:38:26 actually promotes
00:38:30 It's all trade, baby.
00:38:34 That's funny. I always thought
00:38:40 See you.
00:38:47 Love.
00:38:49 Boy, you should be proud.
00:38:51 You took a rag-tag bunch of losers and
00:38:54 That's what I do, Ben.
00:39:03 - Hello, Ben.
00:39:07 Looks like you guys had a heck of a day.
00:39:10 Hey, Paxton, Lance Bass called.
00:39:14 Yeah, like he would have your number.
00:39:16 Hey, Lance Bass never opened
00:39:18 My boy did. You can google it.
00:39:21 Yeah, I told them that already, Dad.
00:39:24 Well, let me cut to the chase
00:39:27 My boy Paxton's band, Big Ups,
00:39:31 and we're running out of rehearsal
00:39:33 So Paxton had a good idea.
00:39:35 He said why not make an offer
00:39:37 nice price, before the bank gets it?
00:39:40 That way,
00:39:42 then he runs around the back,
00:39:45 I don't know, Stu.
00:39:47 We had an outstanding day.
00:39:50 All right, hold it, Don.
00:39:52 Give us a couple minutes alone,
00:39:54 - You got it, Ben.
00:39:58 Hey, you know, even if Ben doesn't sell,
00:39:59 we're gonna get this place for pennies
00:40:02 Really? You're gonna screw over
00:40:06 It's called business, Don. Okay?
00:40:08 And besides, I would do anything
00:40:13 So, lvy isn't enough for you?
00:40:18 You have a crush on my fiancée.
00:40:23 Here's the deal, old-timer. Get over it.
00:40:25 Here is why
00:40:28 - A, I have a beautiful car.
00:40:30 - B, I have a $44 haircut.
00:40:34 Yeah, and C, I have slick threads. Yeah.
00:40:38 - Men's Wearhouse. I like the way I look.
00:40:40 I'm Temecula's newest hard-on, dog.
00:40:43 A, it looks like you just snapped into
00:40:45 B, your suit looks like it was...
00:40:47 - I'm glad we could work all this out, Ben.
00:40:50 Well, Don, it's time I start thinking
00:40:54 I sold the lot to Stu.
00:40:55 He made me a real good offer.
00:40:58 and you'll be paid
00:41:01 But we're pulling the plug.
00:41:04 Can we get all of their stuff
00:41:06 We want to rehearse here tonight.
00:41:07 Hold on. Hold on a second.
00:41:09 What about family? What about history?
00:41:13 What if we save this lot?
00:41:15 What if I could guarantee you
00:41:18 Ben, that's foolish.
00:41:21 Look at him.
00:41:24 Don, we're talking about over 140 cars.
00:41:27 Sure, it'd help the lot,
00:41:30 All right.
00:41:32 or I leave Temecula
00:41:35 - Doesn't move me at all.
00:41:39 Sorry, Stu, but the deal's off,
00:41:42 Okay.
00:41:44 You know,
00:41:46 here's what I'm gonna do.
00:41:47 I'm gonna save you a job on my lot,
00:41:53 Damn it. Why are they standing
00:41:55 Look it, here's the deal.
00:41:57 Call your TV guy. Tell him we got to cut
00:42:00 I have a script for you, never fails.
00:42:03 More than words
00:42:07 Is all you have to do to make it real
00:42:13 Wait, now, so,
00:42:16 he offered to pay us off
00:42:19 And you said no.
00:42:22 Yep.
00:42:23 - Motherfucker.
00:42:25 Come on, man, calm down. It's Don.
00:42:27 He wouldn't do it
00:42:29 And then I told Ben
00:42:31 that he could have Brent for the night.
00:42:33 - Motherfucker...
00:42:35 - Jibby, handle him.
00:42:37 All right, here's the scenario, all right?
00:42:40 Tomorrow, I'm gonna sell
00:42:43 And I suggest
00:42:50 What the hell we gonna do?
00:42:51 Why don't we chill a little bit, Jibs?
00:42:56 Don said we got
00:42:58 Bice is hitting town.
00:43:05 I'm gonna hit you with a little Seger.
00:43:08 Superbad, eyes up here, let's focus.
00:43:11 This one goes out to Blake.
00:43:13 It's about a boy, the son of a man,
00:43:17 Let's get him a tissue,
00:43:20 What the fuck is wrong with that guy?
00:43:22 On a long and Ionesome highway
00:43:25 East of Omaha
00:43:27 Okay, I got to ask you a question.
00:43:30 I've seen that man say a lot of crap
00:43:35 But this time, he really means it.
00:43:38 Truth be told,
00:43:41 he ain't been the same since 'Querque.
00:43:44 - 'Querque?
00:43:46 A-Town. Captain Kirk.
00:43:50 Albuquerque.
00:43:53 - Who calls it Captain Kirk?
00:43:56 We lost a good man down there.
00:43:58 - He quit?
00:44:01 - From a car sale?
00:44:03 The rest of us come to terms.
00:44:08 Wow.
00:44:10 Only Jeff Robins wasn't looking,
00:44:16 - What is it?
00:44:19 - Okay.
00:44:22 You know what else is really fun?
00:44:25 Going to a motel and wrestling.
00:44:28 I love wrestling.
00:44:31 Like this.
00:44:35 Sold.
00:44:36 - You'd be screaming.
00:44:38 Okay.
00:44:40 - Are you good at keeping secrets?
00:44:42 'Cause I've got a present for you.
00:44:44 Secret present outside,
00:44:46 Is it a baseball mitt?
00:44:48 Fits you like a baseball mitt,
00:44:52 Is it new or is it old?
00:44:54 It will be new for you.
00:44:55 All right, that means
00:44:57 - Yep.
00:44:58 I'm gonna have to...
00:45:02 Right.
00:45:03 And then I'll put lotions and oil on it,
00:45:07 Yeah. That was Turn the Page
00:45:10 I'm Don Ready. Good night.
00:45:15 So listen, let's meet outside
00:45:18 - Hey, it's 11:30, closing time.
00:45:22 - I got to go home.
00:45:24 No, I got to go home,
00:45:26 I know, but, Peter, before we do this,
00:45:28 - We can wrestle later.
00:45:31 Waitress, can we get
00:45:33 - Just for the road, and a...
00:45:35 ...paper cup, please. God damn it!
00:45:38 I'll cut off your tits with a knife, you bitch!
00:45:40 Babs, listen, I like the energy.
00:45:44 Party back at the Hacienda Courts.
00:45:49 If you want to go far
00:45:55 At Selleck Motors
00:45:59 I started Selleck Motors
00:46:01 and I've had a good run
00:46:06 But now I'm dying, Temecula.
00:46:11 But before I die, I want to see
00:46:16 So, my family and I are asking you
00:46:20 and buy one final car from us
00:46:27 Looks like the chemo is kicking in,
00:46:35 - Jesus, Ben, why didn't you tell me?
00:46:40 It's just a commercial, Peter.
00:46:42 And, Brent, my privates are fine,
00:46:45 Good for you, Ben.
00:46:49 It's gonna work, Ben.
00:46:52 - Yeah?
00:46:58 Okay, if you don't like the car,
00:47:02 Every day, it's a gay safari.
00:47:06 - Thank you. We appreciate this.
00:47:08 If there's anything I can do...
00:47:10 It's such a tragedy. Tammy's so brave.
00:47:13 Hey, Don. I'm not sure this is working.
00:47:16 I mean, people clearly care about me
00:47:20 Stay positive, Ben.
00:47:21 We're gonna hit this hard until 3:00.
00:47:24 he's gonna take it over the top.
00:47:27 Hey.
00:47:29 Can you bring the mood up?
00:47:31 You know, play something good?
00:47:35 You read my mind.
00:47:42 Just out of curiosity,
00:47:47 Every day they will test you.
00:47:51 You must fight them, DJ. Fight them.
00:47:58 I'm gonna do something that I don't do.
00:47:59 I'm gonna throw in some free floor mats,
00:48:01 Now hold on. Hold...
00:48:04 - Jesus.
00:48:05 Don! What's going on?
00:48:07 You know what?
00:48:09 that I were to hit the wall
00:48:11 - You're hitting the wall now?
00:48:15 Let me ask you something.
00:48:18 - I had this dream. I was just saying...
00:48:20 ...you know, "Listen, Don, you're a..."
00:48:23 We got lunch with my mom in,
00:48:26 - Be right there.
00:48:28 She'll be drunk in about 15, so giddy-up.
00:48:31 - Don, what happened in Albuquerque?
00:48:35 You kidding? It was...
00:48:36 Listen, go have a great lunch with...
00:48:43 Time to hit the road.
00:48:46 Hey, Don Ready,
00:48:48 It's okay,
00:48:52 If you suck.
00:48:57 Hold on.
00:48:59 You got to admit, dude,
00:49:02 - Right? I got a better one.
00:49:04 Hey, Don Ready, I'll see you in
00:49:09 Yeah, that one, granted, not as good,
00:49:11 but that's 'cause
00:49:15 Damn it. Psych. Psych.
00:49:19 I'm going that way, so fuck you.
00:49:22 All right, people.
00:49:23 We got Eric Bice, brother of Bo Bice,
00:49:28 You might want to sit
00:49:30 Hell of a turnout for Bice.
00:49:34 We need it.
00:49:38 - Don, we got problems, big problems.
00:49:40 - Bice isn't showing.
00:49:42 His booking agent said
00:49:45 But he gave me some other options.
00:49:47 The mascot for the San Jose Sharks
00:49:50 He'll show,
00:49:52 What's this I'm hearing about Bice?
00:49:54 He motherfucked us.
00:49:58 - I'm going on.
00:49:59 - I'm going on.
00:50:01 I'm getting a real sketchy vibe
00:50:03 Ivy, don't you see? This is everything.
00:50:05 I get to sing, which sells more cars,
00:50:09 Plus, my son gets to see the old man
00:50:13 What son?
00:50:15 Eric Bice! Eric Bice!
00:50:18 Hey, everyone!
00:50:21 I'm Don Ready. I'm a car salesman.
00:50:23 This is gonna go well.
00:50:25 Yeah. Now, unfortunately,
00:50:27 Eric Bice has adult chickenpox,
00:50:33 Drop it!
00:50:38 Just take those old records off the shelf
00:50:43 He's no Bice! He's no Bice!
00:50:46 Yeah, I should've said something.
00:50:49 I want that old time rock and roll
00:50:51 Fuck you!
00:50:53 Aren't you people tired
00:50:57 Then let's fucking riot!
00:51:00 Hold up a minute!
00:51:02 Get him!
00:51:04 Stop it!
00:51:05 Hey... Hello! Hey, guys!
00:51:07 Mr. Selleck, we got to get you
00:51:09 We got to hide, Brent.
00:51:13 Hold up a minute!
00:51:15 Hold on! I got a big show!
00:51:20 This does not look good for you,
00:51:27 And concussion.
00:51:34 Don't mess with him!
00:51:37 Dork!
00:51:38 See.
00:51:45 Who the fuck brought alligators?
00:51:49 I never thought I'd say this,
00:51:54 Welcome, police.
00:51:56 Come on,
00:52:00 Y'all are all retarded.
00:52:02 Hello?
00:52:06 This day is completely shot.
00:52:09 Can you believe these animals?
00:52:12 What the hell's happening
00:52:15 What are you talking about, Dick?
00:52:19 You remember? Cops gave you a ticket
00:52:24 This is horrible. Let's face it. It's over.
00:52:28 It's not over. Over?
00:52:31 When is the last time that there were
00:52:36 We got five hours left in this day, okay?
00:52:39 Now, I intend to sell some cars,
00:52:41 Now, get in here. Let's go over
00:52:47 Baby, if you are true
00:52:51 I'll keep doing it
00:52:54 Doing it, right there, to you
00:52:57 Doing it
00:52:59 Doing it
00:53:01 Doing it
00:53:03 Doing it to you
00:53:06 Julio, pick up line nine. Julio, line nine.
00:53:10 You know, look, guys,
00:53:13 We need a bigger rehearsal space.
00:53:14 Not a problem. Here's why.
00:53:16 Huge riot down at Selleck Motors.
00:53:19 We're taking it over.
00:53:22 - Are you serious?
00:53:24 We're gonna...
00:53:25 Pardon me, boys.
00:53:29 Some bad news from Selleck Motors.
00:53:31 Listen, people get excited
00:53:33 and, occasionally,
00:53:36 Now, some call that a riot.
00:53:37 Me? I call it excitement
00:53:41 down here at Ben Selleck Motors.
00:53:44 The police are the real heroes.
00:53:46 And because of that, we're offering
00:53:48 20% off and 0% financing
00:53:51 to any police officer that comes down,
00:53:55 anyone that says the word "police."
00:53:57 This Don Ready is like the rash
00:54:02 And if you find an alligator in your car,
00:54:07 Congratulations, Officer.
00:54:10 You see that, Ben?
00:54:22 Motherfucker, I ring the bell.
00:54:24 The reason that the Japanese outsell us
00:54:26 is because they make
00:54:28 while Detroit insists on
00:54:33 God damn, girl, you turning me on.
00:54:37 Would it be improper of me
00:54:40 I don't know, Jibby.
00:54:44 Well, my problem is
00:54:48 I'm trying to be more vulnerable.
00:54:50 Well, you're an honest man, Jibby,
00:54:53 and honesty is the first step
00:54:57 You can pick me up at 9:00.
00:55:09 - Hey, Don.
00:55:11 What's with the shit-eating grin?
00:55:13 For the first time in my life,
00:55:15 I have a chance
00:55:21 Love.
00:55:29 I'm glad we found the right car for you.
00:55:36 Hey, Blake, you ready?
00:55:38 For what?
00:55:40 A little catch.
00:55:41 You know, I'm starting to think
00:55:44 maybe it's time for old Don Ready
00:55:45 to settle down and plant some roots
00:55:50 Great.
00:55:51 I mean, I've been on the move for
00:55:56 and to hug the people
00:55:59 And, Blake, don't ever think that
00:56:03 Great.
00:56:06 You ever think about your daddy?
00:56:09 No.
00:56:10 I mean, who wants to think about
00:56:11 some piece of shit that gets
00:56:15 You know, I'm not bitter.
00:56:20 He's probably out there with no family,
00:56:23 Can you imagine how meaningless
00:56:27 What a douche.
00:56:39 - Hey.
00:56:40 I cannot believe this riot actually helped.
00:56:46 You know,
00:56:48 Well, lvy,
00:56:53 Okay, wow.
00:56:55 I don't know what's going on with you.
00:56:57 You are hot, you are cold.
00:56:58 One minute you're happy,
00:57:01 I mean...
00:57:03 What happened in Albuquerque?
00:57:05 You don't want to know what happened
00:57:07 Actually, I do.
00:57:09 Come on, what? You can trust me.
00:57:17 McDermott was my best friend
00:57:20 and the greatest car-sale DJ
00:57:23 Damn it, it shouldn't have
00:57:27 I was all wrapped up with this woman.
00:57:29 I knew that. Blah, blah, blah.
00:57:32 We had already sold a bunch of cars
00:57:34 but I wanted to take it over the top.
00:57:36 So, I thought, hey,
00:57:40 Get a good crowd in there. We'd airdrop
00:57:45 He would float in and say...
00:57:47 I freed the slaves, now I'm gonna free
00:57:50 those cars from the slavery
00:57:52 We had a bunch of great lines
00:57:54 Hey, just like John Wilkes Booth,
00:57:56 our prices are gonna sneak up
00:58:00 When I asked him, he didn't even blink.
00:58:03 Thanks, buddy.
00:58:06 Drop zone! Drop zone!
00:58:08 Me, I was on the ground
00:58:12 We planned to meet
00:58:14 That is so good. My husband never
00:58:17 She had me pack a bag
00:58:20 Basic shit, you know,
00:58:24 Weirder stuff.
00:58:27 Yeah! Take me away!
00:58:28 The only problem was
00:58:35 Fuck! Don gave me the wrong bag!
00:58:39 I can only imagine
00:58:41 McDermott's head
00:58:44 Got to try to get away from this dildo!
00:58:46 The regrets he must've had.
00:58:48 Most people who are in this situation,
00:58:50 their life flashes before their eyes
00:58:55 For the next 45 seconds, I want to go
00:59:00 Number one, full-length back tattoo
00:59:05 10% real fruit juice, motherfuckers!
00:59:08 He had a huge heart,
00:59:11 Number three, had my wisdom teeth
00:59:19 Christ, the dildo's back!
00:59:23 I'm gonna get into an aerodynamic tuck
00:59:31 I killed my best friend.
00:59:33 I wish I could say
00:59:37 But I got to tell you,
00:59:40 Falling to my death, dressed as
00:59:45 This is how I drew it up.
00:59:50 Next thing I know, it's raining dildos.
00:59:56 Had I just been focused on the sale,
01:00:01 Now it's all happening again,
01:00:04 I'm losing who I am and my focus.
01:00:06 You think that riot was an accident?
01:00:09 It happened because I lost my focus.
01:00:14 And now I'm falling for you. Yeah, no,
01:00:18 Wait, Don, come on, don't go.
01:00:20 I'm gonna go sell some cars,
01:00:25 "Z."
01:00:28 Seven.
01:00:29 - Hey, guys.
01:00:32 I have to say something.
01:00:34 I think Don might think I'm his son.
01:00:37 Now, I've met my dad. He lives in
01:00:42 Don's going through
01:00:45 and right now you might be
01:00:50 Are you saying
01:00:52 Because, Brent, that's fucked up.
01:00:54 Is it? Or is it fucked down?
01:00:57 Look, Don Ready would make
01:01:01 and right now, I don't see a lot of guys
01:01:04 Think about that. And while you're at it,
01:01:07 you think about why your dad left you.
01:01:11 Come in here and blame Don.
01:01:20 It's about 20 minutes on the down side
01:01:24 I hope you're curled up with
01:01:28 in between the sheets.
01:01:32 Look at this. You know, everyone's gone,
01:01:37 Looks like that's gonna do it for me.
01:01:40 Good night, sweet Temecula.
01:01:44 - Seriously! Shut it the fuck down!
01:01:51 See, I don't do what I'm told.
01:01:56 I hate...
01:01:59 You gonna turn the lights off on me?
01:02:02 I don't give a fuck!
01:02:04 I'm homeless, motherfuckers!
01:02:33 Wow! Hey...
01:02:36 Come on in.
01:02:37 Shouldn't you be at home
01:02:40 writing personalized vows or some shit?
01:02:42 Don, I'm here.
01:02:48 Yo, we're Temecula's
01:02:52 - Big Ups!
01:02:53 And we're gonna be kicking it live,
01:02:54 right here at Harding Imports tomorrow,
01:02:57 - Congrats again on that. Yeah.
01:03:00 - You want to turn it off?
01:03:02 With lease-to-own options
01:03:16 We're gonna make love.
01:03:19 Love.
01:03:21 Love.
01:03:23 Love.
01:03:27 - Head & Shoulders?
01:03:30 My uncle uses it.
01:03:36 We're actually making love.
01:03:38 I'm making love.
01:03:42 We're making love.
01:03:44 You know what nobody ever told me
01:03:47 - What?
01:03:50 Yeah.
01:03:53 You can do anything you want.
01:03:57 Okay.
01:04:07 Let's have sex
01:04:10 Okay.
01:04:15 I fucked up.
01:04:17 - That's okay.
01:04:40 Continental breakfast in bed.
01:04:42 - Hacienda Courts style.
01:04:44 You know why
01:04:46 - Why?
01:04:48 prison-size orange juice.
01:04:52 You know, I actually feel bad for Paxton.
01:04:56 I didn't mean to come in
01:04:59 but engagements are made
01:05:04 Don, I'm not leaving Paxton.
01:05:07 What?
01:05:09 You don't love him.
01:05:11 Well, now, that's not necessarily true.
01:05:14 And, you know, I'm almost 30 years old.
01:05:17 I mean, what am I supposed to do,
01:05:20 I want things,
01:05:22 and I want a family,
01:05:30 I mean, look, nobody dreams of buying
01:05:34 but we sold one yesterday, right?
01:05:36 And the people who bought it, bought it
01:05:37 because buying a 2007 Land Rover
01:05:41 So, what are my options, Don?
01:05:42 What about us? What about giving us
01:05:45 Where, in the Hacienda Courts
01:05:48 Or how about
01:05:50 'Cause if things go really well,
01:05:51 we could raise our kids
01:05:54 What did you even come here for?
01:05:57 Because I wanted one last fling.
01:06:01 And I know
01:06:05 So, you're just gonna have sex with me
01:06:11 This hurts!
01:06:13 Guess this is what
01:06:15 "So you're just gonna have sex
01:06:20 I'm sorry.
01:06:22 Something that I want is being taken
01:06:26 I don't like it!
01:06:30 Screw everybody!
01:06:31 The only thing that I trust
01:06:52 Come on, Don!
01:06:54 Come on!
01:06:55 - What's going on?
01:06:57 Don's never been late
01:07:01 Don's gone,
01:07:06 Okay.
01:07:07 Well, did he go to the lot?
01:07:09 I don't know.
01:07:15 'Querque all over again.
01:07:17 Fucking 'Querque.
01:07:27 He's gone.
01:07:28 Looked everywhere, called the cops.
01:07:33 I'm sorry, fellas,
01:07:37 No. Hold on.
01:07:39 You guys did your best.
01:07:41 I mean, it was an uphill battle
01:07:44 But, hey! We still sold some cars, right?
01:07:47 We still sold some cars!
01:07:50 Might as well dust off the old résumé.
01:07:54 Hey, wait just a minute.
01:07:57 I practically built this dealership myself,
01:08:00 and I remember a day when
01:08:03 or talk about closing the lot.
01:08:05 A customer would walk in here
01:08:10 There you go, Ben.
01:08:11 And having Don "The Goods" Ready
01:08:14 made me remember why I became
01:08:21 Mr. Selleck's right.
01:08:23 We can do this.
01:08:27 He knew more about us
01:08:31 Yeah.
01:08:32 You know, I never much cared for Jews,
01:08:37 but that's just the way I was brought up.
01:08:41 Is that it?
01:08:42 Yeah. That's it.
01:08:45 I thought we were opening up here!
01:08:48 Guys. We can sell these cars.
01:08:51 - There you go!
01:08:54 Well, I say we start
01:08:57 So let's get out there and sell the metal!
01:09:01 - We are!
01:09:02 - I'm with you! Listen to him!
01:09:05 - We are! We are! We are!
01:09:10 - We are! We are! We are!
01:09:15 You don't even know this guy.
01:09:16 Look at him.
01:09:19 He's probably out there with no family,
01:09:24 And I know
01:09:26 James Van Der Beek, my nigger.
01:09:33 Well, if it isn't
01:09:36 Holy fuck. McDermott?
01:09:40 He has returned
01:09:43 He is McDermott
01:09:46 Oh, my God!
01:09:48 I been waiting a long time
01:09:51 He's setting
01:09:55 I trusted you, Don. I trusted that what
01:10:00 But it turns out, all you wanted to do
01:10:03 by some woman with bad credit.
01:10:05 It's an age-old tale
01:10:08 His trust was betrayed by tang
01:10:12 Balls and wiener.
01:10:13 They let angels out of heaven
01:10:16 Yeah, of course.
01:10:18 Fuck you, Don Ready, fuck your family
01:10:23 I don't get it, McDermott.
01:10:26 Yeah, I was. I was easy breezy.
01:10:29 I fell out of a plane and hit the ground,
01:10:34 But you know what did bounce?
01:10:37 Geronimo, splat
01:10:41 Displaced anus
01:10:46 I'm so sorry, McDermott.
01:10:48 I need your help, man. I feel so empty.
01:10:52 Don't you get it, Don? This is where
01:10:57 It's not about the cars.
01:11:00 and finding people you love. That's it.
01:11:03 - What do I do?
01:11:06 Get off the road, man.
01:11:10 While we're on the subject
01:11:16 I'm sorry, McDermott.
01:11:17 It's okay, man. I'll see you in 28 years.
01:11:23 August 19, 2036
01:11:26 How am I gonna die?
01:11:28 Choking on a sausage patty
01:11:31 Is there any way they could sing it?
01:11:34 No, it's not very lyrical, and it is sad.
01:11:38 - A little bit? A little...
01:11:40 We talked about it in the heaven
01:11:43 - We got to jump. Change your ways.
01:11:46 See you, Don.
01:11:51 Oh, my God, lvy and the team,
01:11:54 They need me right now. Need me.
01:11:56 Thank you, McDermott!
01:12:09 Get them out of the back lot
01:12:12 Let's go, let's go!
01:12:16 I think you guys are gonna
01:12:18 Good news.
01:12:21 Are you serious?
01:12:22 Zooha!
01:12:34 It's all Don. You understand?
01:12:37 All of it.
01:13:01 Retard!
01:13:04 I love you.
01:13:07 I've got some things
01:13:10 I'm doing this for my friend McDermott!
01:13:13 He died, and I'm jumping for him!
01:13:15 Makes all the sense in the world!
01:13:18 One, two, three! Jump!
01:13:24 You got yourself a good deal there.
01:13:26 Pop the clutch! Pop the clutch!
01:13:31 We did it.
01:13:35 Man, I wish Don was here to see this.
01:13:42 Hey, look, everyone! It's Superman!
01:13:45 I want to come down
01:13:48 - Got it.
01:13:51 Where are the cars?
01:13:53 Wait a minute! Is that Don?
01:13:55 Look out! Run! Run!
01:13:57 Watch your head, team! Coming in hot.
01:14:05 Hey, Jibby, where are all the cars?
01:14:07 Don, we did it.
01:14:10 You're shitting me. That's fantastic!
01:14:13 - They all stepped up.
01:14:15 I'm proud of you guys, all of you!
01:14:17 We couldn't have done it without you,
01:14:19 You taught us all to stand on our own.
01:14:22 Your time here has been rich
01:14:25 I don't know what to say.
01:14:27 Why not start with the truth, Don?
01:14:30 Well, the truth is, you sons of bitches
01:14:36 Fuck you, Don Ready!
01:14:39 You didn't sell all the cars. You lose.
01:14:43 What are you talking about? All the cars
01:14:46 Come on, Stu, a deal's a deal.
01:14:50 Nobody sold the Bandit Car.
01:14:54 The Bandit Car?
01:14:56 Don said every car on the lot.
01:14:58 Bandit Car's a car and it's on the lot.
01:15:01 Hold on a second. That thing is a prop.
01:15:04 Don, that is not a prop.
01:15:07 This is good.
01:15:09 Is this the great Don Ready complaining
01:15:13 Did you hear that, everybody?
01:15:15 Maybe he's not so great.
01:15:20 So, I guess you lose!
01:15:22 Ben, you lose the lot.
01:15:29 Right, everybody?
01:15:39 You know, Paxton, I been doing
01:15:46 About what, asshole?
01:15:49 Dreams.
01:15:51 About how we either, you know...
01:15:53 We either cherish them
01:15:56 What'd you want to be
01:15:57 Me, I wanted to be a ref in the WNBA.
01:16:00 You know, 'cause I like women
01:16:03 Can you get off my back?
01:16:04 - You want to do this one on your own?
01:16:06 I get that. Okay, you guys do your thing.
01:16:09 What'd you dream about, Paxton?
01:16:11 Music. Music's been my passion
01:16:14 Now, when you say classics,
01:16:17 Well, it's a pretty short list.
01:16:21 You got your 98 Degrees,
01:16:25 And then pretty much
01:16:26 came along
01:16:28 Hello!
01:16:30 What about O-Town?
01:16:32 That was the best night of my life.
01:16:34 See, I haven't had the best night
01:16:38 All personal crap aside,
01:16:41 - Come on, who said that?
01:16:44 - Is he doing what I think he's doing?
01:16:47 If he moves that car,
01:16:52 Attagirl.
01:16:54 Thirty-two years in the business
01:16:56 a dealer-to-dealer lot sale.
01:16:58 This is suicide.
01:17:00 Come on, Don, stay focused.
01:17:02 Let me ask you something, man.
01:17:03 You ever think about just dropping
01:17:06 I'm not talking about setting up
01:17:08 I'm talking about you, Ricky and Jason
01:17:12 and putting yourselves
01:17:16 Wait. What are you doing?
01:17:18 Picture this, Paxton.
01:17:20 Big Ups touring
01:17:24 Gainesville, sold out.
01:17:27 Pensacola, sold out. Right?
01:17:30 And now it's Panama Beach.
01:17:33 Lights go down,
01:17:34 and all you can hear is 7,500 girls
01:17:37 screaming at the top
01:17:40 And the bass, it starts pumping.
01:17:43 Pump, pump, pump, pump.
01:17:46 The girls start jumping.
01:17:49 Ricky and Jason, they hit the stage.
01:17:54 What happens next, Paxton?
01:17:56 I don't know. What?
01:17:57 - An engine roars to life.
01:18:01 I mean, just fucking roars!
01:18:06 Who rises from beneath the stage?
01:18:08 - Who?
01:18:09 The guy with the best hair
01:18:11 - Paxton Harding!
01:18:14 - In the goddamn Bandit Car...
01:18:16 ...T- top, golden eagle on the hood.
01:18:18 And the word is,
01:18:23 And the girls, they love it.
01:18:26 Yeah. 'Cause we're good.
01:18:28 You're goddamn right, you're good.
01:18:29 You, my friend,
01:18:34 Holy shit. He might have him.
01:18:37 I feel like I'm watching
01:18:40 like a blue whale giving birth
01:18:45 You know, Paxton,
01:18:47 a man much wiser than myself
01:18:50 most men lead lives
01:18:53 Now, do not silence Big Ups
01:18:58 nay,
01:18:59 the world, has heard the first verse.
01:19:03 Pump, pump.
01:19:06 Pump, pump.
01:19:08 Pump, pump.
01:19:10 How much for the Trans Am?
01:19:11 200 grand. I'll give it to you for 80.
01:19:15 I'll take it!
01:19:16 He did it!
01:19:28 Who just got 80 grand
01:19:31 - Big Ups!
01:19:33 This is the new band car!
01:19:36 Yeah!
01:19:37 Get it down!
01:19:40 Hey, Brent, we would've had a wonderful
01:19:45 You know what?
01:19:48 You already have.
01:19:51 Basically, I have to carpe diem here, lvy.
01:19:56 See you!
01:19:59 Well, it's official. I am single.
01:20:02 I'm sorry, lvy. I was just selling a car.
01:20:04 Are you? Are you really sorry, Don?
01:20:06 Okay, you got me, I'm not sorry.
01:20:08 Paxton and the Bandit Car
01:20:10 where I intend to plant some roots.
01:20:15 - You hear that, team?
01:20:17 What, honey?
01:20:18 Cutting up the Hacienda Court card.
01:20:22 - Don!
01:20:23 I've been doing a lot of thinking
01:20:26 and I decided that I can't care for them
01:20:28 as much on the road,
01:20:31 - Speaking of family, where's Blake?
01:20:33 Come here, Son.
01:20:35 Now, your father, he can't do anything
01:20:39 I can guarantee you I will always be
01:20:42 Don, I'm like a foot taller than you.
01:20:45 Hug your father.
01:20:47 Come here, Son. There we go.
01:20:50 Thanks, Dad. Daddy.
01:20:52 I love it. As far as the beautiful
01:20:58 - She's the one.
01:21:01 No, no, you're my woman.
01:21:04 Now, if someone went
01:21:06 I think we'd have everything we need
01:21:09 DJ! Play We Are Family
01:21:12 Drop it!
01:21:13 Finally! Somebody hit the nail on
01:21:17 That is a perfect song.
01:21:22 What the fuck?
01:21:23 I warned you over and over again
01:21:29 You brought this on yourself.
01:21:32 Just play a good song!
01:21:35 You got it, friend!
01:21:45 Hey, McDermott, we did it.
01:21:48 Yeah, if you call selling cars
01:21:52 Temecula is not
01:21:59 Well, I'm gonna make the most of it.