Baby On Board

en
00:00:15 # Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh #
00:00:20 # What happens in my head
00:00:23 # But sometimes it won't #
00:00:25 # What if you knew
00:00:28 # Would it make you like:
00:00:30 # I don't wanna risk
00:00:32 # So I keep my mouth closed #
00:00:34 # All you hear is #
00:00:36 # Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh #
00:00:37 # Gonna button my lips
00:00:40 # Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh #
00:00:41 # Gotta beep out
00:00:44 # Whoops! #
00:00:45 # Did I say it out loud?
00:00:48 # I wanna have your babies #
00:00:50 # Get serious like crazy #
00:00:52 # I wanna have your babies #
00:00:54 # I see 'em springing up
00:01:00 # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah #
00:01:02 # Some of my feelings
00:01:06 # So I make it a joke #
00:01:07 # Nonchalant I keep on faking #
00:01:10 # So my heart don't get broke #
00:01:12 # I'm in a big, big, big, big ocean #
00:01:15 # In a tiny little boat #
00:01:17 # I'll only put the idea out there #
00:01:19 # If I know it's gonna float #
00:01:21 # All you hear is #
00:01:22 # Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh #
00:01:24 # Gonna button my lips
00:01:27 # Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh #
00:01:29 # Gotta beep out
00:01:31 # Whoops! #
00:01:32 # Did I say it out loud? #
00:01:33 # Did you find out? #
00:01:35 # I wanna have your babies #
00:01:37 # Get serious like crazy #
00:01:40 # I wanna have your babies #
00:01:42 # I see 'em springing up
00:01:45 # Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh #
00:01:47 # Gonna button my lips
00:01:50 # Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh #
00:01:52 # Gotta beep out
00:01:55 # Whoops! #
00:01:56 # Did I say it out loud?
00:01:58 # I wanna have your babies #
00:02:02 SYLVIE: Hey!
00:02:03 Sweetie, you give
00:02:06 MEGHAN:
00:02:07 SYLVIE:
00:02:10 SYLVIE:
00:02:12 Stop it!
00:02:13 Stop it!
00:02:18 [Tires screech]
00:02:32 Meghan, you have a million toys!
00:02:35 MEGHAN:
00:02:36 RYAN:
00:02:36 SYLVIE: Meghan, sit still so I can
00:02:40 Stop fighting with your brother!
00:02:43 Meghan! Stop!
00:02:46 No!
00:02:47 Hey, Sylvie, are 3-year-olds
00:02:49 It's the only thing
00:02:52 You know, I'm so sorry, but Danny
00:02:54 MEGHAN:
00:02:55 Meghan!
00:02:56 MEGHAN: No!
00:02:58 MEGHAN:
00:02:59 Do you want Mommy
00:03:01 Is that what you want?
00:03:03 RYAN: No!
00:03:05 [Screams]
00:03:07 [Car horns honking]
00:03:18 Danny, stop staring.
00:03:20 - Look at it.
00:03:22 - Look.
00:03:24 Just look at it.
00:03:29 [Gasps]
00:03:32 Aren't you supposed to pick up
00:03:34 Shit.
00:03:36 Yeah.
00:03:37 - All right, Feel Good.
00:03:40 We'll get out of here.
00:03:41 - Hi, Counselor.
00:03:45 Who is your gorgeous friend?
00:03:46 You think he's gorgeous,
00:03:49 Is his wife as understanding
00:03:51 Uh, she's understanding.
00:03:55 You a lawyer too?
00:03:56 Yeah, yes.
00:03:58 Well, Mr. Lawyer.
00:04:03 I'm a relaxation therapist.
00:04:05 So, if you get as stressed
00:04:08 come and see me.
00:04:11 Mmm.
00:04:14 That's so you don't forget me.
00:04:16 Nobody's forgetting you, honey.
00:04:20 What exactly
00:04:23 Frame it.
00:04:24 I've got, like, seven of them.
00:04:33 SYLVIE:
00:04:35 and Danny will have a heart attack
00:04:38 Look, you're gonna
00:04:39 - Call me when it's over, okay?
00:04:42 Say bye to your Auntie Angela.
00:04:43 ALL:
00:04:44 [Dart fires]
00:04:46 Ryan Scott Chambers!
00:05:05 How come old guys got to walk
00:05:09 You cheating on Sylvie?
00:05:11 No!
00:05:12 I paid Candy for her service.
00:05:14 Candy could do a lot better,
00:05:16 Hey, when we got married,
00:05:19 I looked like you,
00:05:21 We want to have kids eventually.
00:05:24 Nothing wrong with a little
00:05:26 Oh, well, then,
00:05:27 if Sylvie got "a little side action
00:05:30 You be as judgmental as you want.
00:05:39 And we'll both be there one day.
00:05:44 That balls?
00:05:46 Incredible.
00:05:48 Do you think he's okay?
00:05:51 Fuck!
00:05:53 ANGELA:
00:05:54 Yes, I need you to get the samples
00:05:57 Don't even worry about it, Angela.
00:05:59 I'm just running a little bit late.
00:06:01 You hung up on me!
00:06:02 Ooh, I love that lipstick.
00:06:04 You can't borrow it.
00:06:06 Wait a minute.
00:06:09 Did I tell you I'm in love?
00:06:13 - No, you're not in love.
00:06:16 - No, you're not.
00:06:19 Oh, my God.
00:06:21 Hey, Angie.
00:06:23 Okay. Who is the lucky lover?
00:06:25 Well, I can't say anything yet,
00:06:27 except that he is everything
00:06:30 except he's gay.
00:06:40 Ms. Black, you still have not
00:06:43 Do you truly believe that you
00:06:47 It says explicitly in the contract.
00:06:51 Contract?
00:06:52 How about the contract you signed
00:06:54 I tend to remember an important
00:06:57 "for better or for worse."
00:06:58 Does that ring a bell?
00:07:00 Objection!
00:07:01 Speaks to character, Your Honor.
00:07:03 I'll allow it.
00:07:05 He cheated on me.
00:07:06 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:07:08 There's not one piece
00:07:10 that proves my client strayed.
00:07:12 What about the text messages?
00:07:14 The photos?
00:07:15 What about that filthy video
00:07:19 Circumstantial.
00:07:20 Your Honor...
00:07:21 Tread carefully, Counselor.
00:07:23 You never see my client's face
00:07:25 Ms. Black, you still have not
00:07:27 My client has graciously
00:07:30 the family home with an estimated
00:07:34 That's 4.5.
00:07:36 4.5 million dollars.
00:07:39 Do you really believe
00:07:45 He signed a contract.
00:07:48 "He signed the contract."
00:07:51 Does that sound heartfelt,
00:07:52 Does that sound like someone
00:07:53 who truly believes
00:07:56 - Does that...?
00:07:58 Is my client going to be asked
00:08:01 I have nothing further. I couldn't
00:08:08 No fist-bumping in court.
00:08:27 Nice suit, John.
00:08:29 That tie...
00:08:39 Good morning, Mary!
00:08:55 Okay. For the woman
00:09:01 we present the allure
00:09:06 to keep Daddy interested,
00:09:07 the only fragrance especially made
00:09:15 And here is the bottle prototype.
00:09:20 Do you think someone
00:09:23 of this soon-to-be
00:09:33 [Belly growls]
00:09:37 I'm sorry.
00:09:51 [Belly squeals]
00:09:58 [Farts]
00:10:08 [Inhales deeply]
00:10:21 What is in this bottle?
00:10:23 Perfume.
00:10:25 For who?
00:10:28 I'm sorry. It's me.
00:10:30 I just...
00:10:33 I have a 4:10 meeting
00:10:39 and I just hope for your sake
00:10:43 For the rest of you, I suggest you
00:10:47 Try not to jump out.
00:10:57 I'm sorry.
00:11:04 So? What did they say?
00:11:06 Oh, sweet Jesus!
00:11:10 Honey, did something
00:11:11 I blew it!
00:11:13 Yes, yes. "Blew it" are
00:11:16 - I'm sick.
00:11:17 No, no, honey. Sick is like,
00:11:20 Oh, God.
00:11:22 You are not helping.
00:11:24 The power of Christ compels you!
00:11:26 Raphy, I have to get her
00:11:28 Honey, I know.
00:11:31 WOMAN: Angela Marks,
00:11:34 Yes, I'm still here.
00:11:35 WOMAN: Mary would like
00:11:39 - I'll be right there.
00:11:46 [Chuckles]
00:11:47 Seriously, that was great.
00:11:50 I thought I'd never get out
00:11:51 Honey, come here and meet Curtis.
00:11:53 I told you he'd do it.
00:11:55 This is my ex-wife's cousin.
00:11:57 Come on.
00:11:59 Let's go buy a sex swing.
00:12:01 Okay, Uncle Phil.
00:12:04 [Inhales]
00:12:23 - You are amazing.
00:12:25 I'm sorry.
00:12:28 Everyone says the same thing
00:12:31 but I had to see it for myself.
00:12:34 Oh, my. I grew faint just the way
00:12:38 What can I do for you, Mrs. Jenkins?
00:12:41 There's a lot you can do to me.
00:12:43 Okay.
00:12:44 It's my husband.
00:12:47 But I'm sad to say
00:12:49 The son of a bitch
00:12:51 and that's the only reason
00:12:53 So, he is...?
00:12:54 97.
00:12:55 Oh.
00:12:56 Have you ever had
00:13:00 It's like fucking a beanbag chair.
00:13:03 I didn't need to hear that.
00:13:04 We just got his medical report.
00:13:05 Besides the fact that he's on an
00:13:08 He'll probably outlive me.
00:13:10 I'm not sure
00:13:12 This is my pre-nup.
00:13:16 Sure you want to leave with...?
00:13:17 With as much as I can carry.
00:13:19 Ms. Jenkins, I shouldn't be looking
00:13:22 - Mr. Marks.
00:13:25 Curtis.
00:13:27 I need you.
00:13:32 Okay, I will take a look at this,
00:13:37 Thank you...
00:13:39 ...Curtis.
00:13:59 You can sit...
00:14:01 ...unless sitting makes
00:14:07 I'm really sorry about that.
00:14:12 Is this your family?
00:14:14 - Wow, your daughter is so...
00:14:17 92.1% of men prefer to deal
00:14:22 You know how many men want
00:14:26 8.1%.
00:14:28 Which just proves conclusively
00:14:33 Now, speaking of stupid,
00:14:39 for the woman
00:14:42 I should have thrown you
00:14:44 for suggesting something
00:14:46 but unfortunately I have a board
00:14:49 and they have voted.
00:14:53 You're approved.
00:14:55 Now, listen to me.
00:14:58 You screw this up,
00:15:02 Now, I expect a budget and marketing
00:15:09 Get out.
00:15:51 - Wow! What's that for?
00:15:53 Me too. Guess what?
00:15:55 Tell me, how did it go?
00:15:57 Mary said yes.
00:15:58 - She said yes?
00:16:00 Fist-pound.
00:16:01 Angela, I don't believe this.
00:16:04 You are gonna have
00:16:06 I know. I mean,
00:16:09 All those years
00:16:11 and then months
00:16:12 Can you believe this?
00:16:13 Vice-president of one
00:16:16 in all of the world!
00:16:17 This is huge!
00:16:19 Everything?
00:16:20 Well, present company excluded.
00:16:22 Mm.
00:16:23 Um, Angela,
00:16:24 since this "Baby on Board" thing
00:16:28 maybe you and I should start trying.
00:16:33 Trying?
00:16:34 Trying to make a baby.
00:16:37 You know, lose the condoms.
00:16:41 Ahh...
00:16:44 You okay?
00:16:46 Hmm.
00:16:47 Here we are.
00:16:56 - Why would we want to do that?
00:16:58 We'll get you pregnant,
00:17:05 Sorry.
00:17:12 Sorry about that.
00:17:14 Here you go.
00:17:26 You're certainly eating a lot.
00:17:29 Before you get mad,
00:17:33 I just mean that you're consuming
00:17:36 Well, it emptied me out,
00:17:39 Are you listening to me?
00:17:41 No one's listening to you,
00:17:44 [Chuckles]
00:17:45 Look. All I'm saying is
00:17:50 You take a guy, he gets married,
00:17:51 and it's like, it's like putting
00:17:55 Every chick that walks by,
00:18:00 Danny, come on.
00:18:01 Maybe we should
00:18:03 What? I'm just trying
00:18:05 And that would be what?
00:18:08 Tell them.
00:18:10 - Me?
00:18:10 Uh, well, we're all aware of the fact
00:18:17 Oh, we are? Are we?
00:18:19 - I think it's disgusting.
00:18:21 Are you having sex with prostitutes?
00:18:28 No.
00:18:33 Wait, Sylvie. Did I tell you
00:18:35 Danny, did I tell you
00:18:37 Look, all I'm saying is
00:18:41 who get a little gash on the side,
00:18:46 It's the only way
00:18:48 And I don't have that problem,
00:18:50 'cause I got the looks,
00:18:52 I got it all, baby! High-five!
00:18:54 [Laughs]
00:18:57 You know, women are looking
00:19:00 than looks and money.
00:19:01 You're so drunk.
00:19:03 I'm not that drunk.
00:19:04 Um, you know what? Why don't we
00:19:08 That makes you feel special?
00:19:10 Going out four nights a week,
00:19:13 You be my guest.
00:19:14 But why don't we put the shoe
00:19:17 Why don't you
00:19:18 while I go out and find every possible
00:19:21 Then you can spend all day
00:19:24 and the vomit, and the laundry,
00:19:26 and shoveling the goddamn snow
00:19:29 Why don't you do all those things,
00:19:30 and then you can pay whoever
00:19:38 Okay.
00:19:40 You think that I don't bust my ass
00:19:43 for you and those kids, huh?
00:19:45 You want to talk about stress?
00:19:46 Maybe I should go visit
00:19:48 like the rest of the guys
00:19:51 Fuck it.
00:19:54 You know what?
00:19:57 Honey, nobody wants to fuck you.
00:20:04 Well, wait, Sylvie, um...
00:20:06 Sylvie! Sylvie!
00:20:10 That was awkward.
00:20:17 Oh, baby, baby! Oh, my God!
00:20:22 Yeah, I know. Me too.
00:20:25 - Please let me take the condom off.
00:20:26 I can't get pregnant now.
00:20:28 Please...
00:20:32 That, uh, makes it a moot point now.
00:20:37 - Was that good for you?
00:20:41 Sorry about that.
00:20:47 Baby?
00:20:48 Mm-hmm.
00:20:49 Do you still think that I'm beautiful?
00:20:50 Of course
00:20:54 I just lasted three minutes
00:20:56 I wish you were a little more fat
00:20:59 I might last a little longer.
00:21:01 Do you think that I've gained weight?
00:21:02 I don't care if you've gained weight.
00:21:05 So you think I'm fat?
00:21:06 I'm in hell.
00:21:08 Baby, I just, I saw Danny and Sylvie
00:21:14 Angie, I married you for you.
00:21:16 And if that means
00:21:18 you get a little spare tire,
00:21:23 varicose veins, arm fat, triple chin,
00:21:26 I did say
00:21:28 But how about we keep it
00:21:30 for at least a little while?
00:21:32 Well, what if one day
00:21:33 Honey, come on.
00:21:40 Good night.
00:21:43 I mean, better than good enough.
00:21:47 Good night, Curtis.
00:21:49 Wonderful...
00:21:58 Marvelous...
00:22:00 DANNY: Oh, yeah!
00:22:04 Oh, yeah. Fuck you.
00:22:06 Fucking... Come on!
00:22:08 Come on!
00:22:11 [Gasping]
00:22:18 You're pathetic.
00:22:20 Hey, this is my house.
00:22:22 If I want to knock one out
00:22:26 Really?
00:22:27 Yeah, really.
00:22:31 Get out.
00:22:33 What?
00:22:34 I want you to move out of this house
00:22:36 before I actually catch you
00:22:40 I don't fuck whores.
00:22:41 I'm so tired, Danny.
00:22:44 I'm tired of your staying out
00:22:47 the lipstick on your underpants...
00:22:49 - What lipstick on...?
00:22:51 I want you out of my life!
00:22:54 Fine, then.
00:22:56 Fine, then?
00:22:57 Fine, then. I'll move out.
00:23:00 Fine, then.
00:23:05 Move out.
00:23:08 This is my house!
00:23:10 If I want to whack off all over
00:23:14 fuck you very much!
00:23:25 [Fart]
00:23:28 [Fart]
00:23:35 [Gagging]
00:23:49 [Heavy metal music plays]
00:24:27 [Disco music plays]
00:24:43 [Heavy metal music plays]
00:25:03 [Disco music plays]
00:25:18 [Heavy metal music plays]
00:26:08 Who is she?
00:26:09 What's her name?
00:26:11 - Hey!
00:26:13 Hey! What is...?
00:26:16 I know!
00:26:18 You know what?
00:26:19 For you, she... I know...
00:26:23 Okay, Angela.
00:26:26 It was a dream.
00:26:29 But not my dream, because I've
00:26:32 trying to sleep,
00:26:33 while you've been snoring,
00:26:37 bad, smelly farts.
00:26:40 So you're not cheating on me
00:26:42 What model chick?
00:26:49 What did she look like?
00:26:50 A little Elle Macpherson action?
00:27:04 - I got your jacket.
00:27:07 Do you got everything?
00:27:09 CURTIS:
00:27:16 I'm gonna be a little late
00:27:18 so don't wait for me for dinner.
00:27:20 I don't think I could
00:27:22 Kick Mary's ass today. I want
00:27:27 Love you, too.
00:27:36 Hey, honey.
00:27:37 Hey!
00:27:37 [Gasps]
00:27:39 Angela, no.
00:27:41 - No more bad food.
00:27:43 - You said you'd say that.
00:27:44 - You said you'd say that, too.
00:27:49 - Here, you can have the fries.
00:27:53 Angela? Angela!
00:27:57 Mm, talk about choking the chicken.
00:28:01 Anyway, just...
00:28:05 Mm, mm, the prelims
00:28:08 We really got to wow
00:28:11 Plenty of time
00:28:13 Really, I think everything
00:28:15 I think it is gonna be
00:28:17 even though the Japanese
00:28:20 I think we'll be fine.
00:28:20 June?
00:28:22 You need wow by June?
00:28:26 No problem.
00:28:27 This is your baby.
00:28:30 [Cell phone rings]
00:28:31 Mm, mm, mm.
00:28:38 Hello.
00:28:39 Sweetie, you give it
00:28:42 Hey!
00:28:42 Oh, hey. I'm so glad you could come.
00:28:45 - Uh, just a little lunch.
00:28:46 You two go over there,
00:28:48 That's right. Go over.
00:28:50 What's going on?
00:28:51 Well, I just needed to see you.
00:28:59 Cock-sucker, piece-of-shit footballs!
00:29:04 You seem tense.
00:29:08 I kicked Danny out last night.
00:29:10 [Gasps] Oh, my God, Sylvie!
00:29:13 Yeah, but I probably would have
00:29:16 if he'd had the decency
00:29:22 You really would have been
00:29:23 I'm not stupid!
00:29:25 Danny has always been a wild pig.
00:29:27 I mean, hell, that's what attracted me
00:29:30 And I know I don't look the same.
00:29:35 I used to be so hot.
00:29:38 - And now I'm just...
00:29:41 I'm not hot.
00:29:42 I will never be
00:29:44 You... You are skinny.
00:29:46 I turned around the other day,
00:29:48 and my left tit
00:29:51 You have great tits.
00:29:53 - They're not! They're saggy!
00:29:56 And after Ryan,
00:29:57 Jesus Christ, you could have
00:30:01 in my vagina.
00:30:03 Enormous!
00:30:04 You have a great vagina.
00:30:05 Any man would be lucky
00:30:08 You should see
00:30:10 It is like I stole
00:30:13 Of course I'm not okay
00:30:15 but if that's what it took
00:30:19 But at some point he just...
00:30:24 And I can deal with a lot of things,
00:30:30 I wish I were a lesbian.
00:30:35 Hold on one second, okay?
00:30:46 Girl, I am not a doctor,
00:30:58 So, how is my girl?
00:31:03 Not so hot.
00:31:04 Well, you look pretty hot to me.
00:31:07 What's, uh, what's going on
00:31:10 I can't keep anything down.
00:31:12 Really?
00:31:13 Have you experienced
00:31:15 No way!
00:31:18 but it's not morning sickness.
00:31:21 Gas?
00:31:24 What are we talking about?
00:31:27 [Beeping]
00:31:38 Look at this.
00:31:42 Angela...
00:31:45 ...you're pregnant.
00:31:47 No way!
00:31:50 Well, one little guy snuck in,
00:31:55 This can't be.
00:31:57 Damn him!
00:31:58 Angela, do you know how many
00:32:02 would love to be
00:32:03 I can't fit into my shoes.
00:32:06 I have so much going on right now.
00:32:10 Angela, as your friend,
00:32:12 It's never the right time.
00:32:15 and even when they think they're
00:32:20 Hey, you may not think you're ready,
00:32:27 You feel better?
00:32:29 No!
00:32:33 Thank you.
00:32:34 Mrs. Jenkins, I've got it.
00:32:37 I bet you do.
00:32:39 Would you say
00:32:41 He gives me everything I want.
00:32:43 Okay, okay.
00:32:45 Oh.
00:32:46 Your pre-nup,
00:32:49 hinges on your standard of living,
00:32:50 which Mr. Jenkins
00:32:53 If he does not,
00:32:56 So, I'm going to ask you again,
00:33:00 is it good enough?
00:33:09 I'm not pregnant.
00:33:12 I'm not pregnant, okay?
00:33:13 I don't want to be pregnant.
00:33:15 And you know what?
00:33:17 He lied to me.
00:33:19 little Chucky with two raincoats.
00:33:21 Yeah, well, I got to go, lady.
00:33:23 Be glad you're not a woman.
00:33:24 Okay. Thank you.
00:33:39 I have never been
00:33:43 Mrs. Jenkins! Mrs. Jenkins!
00:33:44 Mm, Mr. Marks!
00:34:00 Oh, Mr. Marks!
00:34:02 Mrs. Jenkins,
00:34:04 Please, Mrs. Jenkins.
00:34:06 Mrs. Jenkins, get off of me!
00:34:08 I'm sorry.
00:34:10 Yes, I... I took two classes
00:34:13 I hated them both.
00:34:15 Mrs. Jenkins, please, please,
00:34:17 You can't do that to my thumb.
00:34:27 Son of a bitch!
00:34:29 He was making out with her
00:34:32 That son of a bitch.
00:34:35 Sylvie?
00:34:36 Yeah?
00:34:38 I'm pregnant.
00:34:42 Son of a bitch.
00:34:44 What do I do?
00:34:45 Oh, honey. I'm gonna
00:34:47 I'll be right over.
00:34:49 - Hello.
00:34:51 You call me right back!
00:34:54 Hi.
00:34:56 Hey.
00:34:58 [Smooch]
00:35:03 Oh, okay.
00:35:04 What's up?
00:35:06 You know what's up.
00:35:08 Really?
00:35:09 because I have no idea what
00:35:11 - It's not a what. It's a who.
00:35:14 What who? You who!
00:35:16 I'm sorry.
00:35:18 Come on, Ang.
00:35:19 Nothing is going on here,
00:35:23 Okay. Well, then, this fight
00:35:28 - No.
00:35:29 - Stop it!
00:35:30 Answering with a question.
00:35:32 Angela, something's wrong.
00:35:34 Did something happen
00:35:36 - Don't change the subject!
00:35:38 I'm pregnant.
00:35:44 You're pregnant?
00:35:47 Angela, that...
00:35:50 That's... That's wonderful.
00:35:53 - No, it's not.
00:35:57 I know we didn't plan for this,
00:36:02 What is wrong with you?
00:36:03 I know plenty of women who
00:36:06 Oh, you know plenty of women?
00:36:10 Okay. Angela,
00:36:14 Let's just calm down
00:36:16 Oh, how can I be happy
00:36:18 isn't who I thought he would be?
00:36:31 She's cheating on you.
00:36:32 Don't be ridiculous.
00:36:34 You said it yourself.
00:36:38 "The father isn't who I thought
00:36:40 She's probably banging
00:36:44 You always use two skins.
00:36:46 - Yes.
00:36:48 Look. It says right here,
00:36:52 Now, I'm no math wizard,
00:36:56 that's like, you know,
00:37:00 I can't believe she would do this.
00:37:01 Don't be a putz.
00:37:05 This shit paid
00:37:07 Just 'cause it's happening to you...
00:37:13 Oh, look at that.
00:37:15 Curtis, I'd tear that ass up.
00:37:17 Be like Roberto Duran
00:37:19 with my nuts flying off her ass,
00:37:21 dah-duh-duh, dah-duh-duh,
00:37:28 [Door opens, shuts]
00:37:56 [Zipper pulled]
00:38:00 Are you moving in with your whore?
00:38:04 Whose baby is that?
00:38:07 What did you say?
00:38:11 Fuck you, asshole!
00:38:14 Excuse me?
00:38:15 You're the one who cheated here.
00:38:17 Why is this my fault?
00:38:19 Why is everything my fault?
00:38:21 Don't throw this on me.
00:38:24 Don't push this on me.
00:38:26 Get out!
00:38:31 Fine.
00:38:33 Good.
00:38:50 [Cell phone rings]
00:38:55 Tell me what happened.
00:38:56 I'm a mess.
00:38:58 Say something.
00:39:00 Statistically, women live five years
00:39:05 Keep going.
00:39:08 Women use their brains
00:39:10 [Sobbing] It's not working.
00:39:14 There's a handbag sale at Macy's.
00:39:16 [Engine revs, tires screech]
00:39:19 He's gone.
00:39:21 I'm coming over.
00:39:22 What about the kids?
00:39:23 They're fine.
00:39:25 [Cartoon noises]
00:39:30 They're fine.
00:39:31 You know, I'll come to you because
00:39:42 [Loud rock music plays]
00:40:05 Just look.
00:40:16 Oh, this is Curtis, girls.
00:40:18 I'm paying you per the hip thrust.
00:40:21 Sit down, my man.
00:40:25 You should have seen Angela's face
00:40:27 She was definitely
00:40:29 the way she wasn't saying anything
00:40:31 and kept backing me in a corner,
00:40:34 Oh, yeah. Sylvie used to do
00:40:38 But you were cheating.
00:40:40 Yeah, yeah, but she was still
00:40:43 Look, I've got these girls
00:40:48 What do you say we get out of here
00:40:52 Korean parlor?
00:40:56 Can't beat 'em, join 'em.
00:41:00 Here it comes.
00:41:02 Ooh!
00:41:04 I don't know, Danny.
00:41:07 She's my world, you know.
00:41:08 Yeah, your world
00:41:12 Smell her right there.
00:41:14 You wouldn't even know about it
00:41:16 Maybe you should think about that.
00:41:18 - You're right.
00:41:20 You got screwed.
00:41:21 You're right. I'm done.
00:41:24 No, I, I'm...
00:41:28 Hey, she's sleeping
00:41:30 Probably got some jizz monkey
00:41:32 - She wouldn't.
00:41:34 'Cause you know her so well.
00:41:36 [Whistles]
00:41:39 Hey, honey, I got more cash
00:41:44 [Woman laughs]
00:41:46 Oui, oui!
00:41:49 How are you doing?
00:41:53 Nice to meet you.
00:41:57 Um...
00:41:59 Um, do you go to school
00:42:05 [Sighs]
00:42:08 Thanks.
00:42:09 What am I supposed to do?
00:42:11 What I did with Danny...
00:42:13 Get him to confess and then
00:42:17 Well, I can't do that.
00:42:22 And I love Danny,
00:42:23 Our husbands are lying
00:42:26 who deserve to have their balls
00:42:30 You and I don't deserve that,
00:42:33 Sweetie, it's not just
00:42:38 Mom, I'm hungry!
00:42:40 Eat your brother.
00:42:42 Yes!
00:42:46 I got to go fix her something.
00:42:48 Do you want some broccoli?
00:42:51 What do you want?
00:43:08 [Exhales deeply]
00:43:12 My baby.
00:43:20 [Laughs]
00:43:23 Hey, Ryan, what's the matter?
00:43:31 I peed.
00:43:34 Of course.
00:43:38 WOMAN: Ah, ah!
00:43:39 DANNY: Oh, even after I've given it
00:43:41 WOMAN: Mm.
00:43:42 DANNY: Here comes the magic sock!
00:43:44 DANNY:
00:43:45 Here it comes. Oh!
00:43:47 Uh, really,
00:43:49 I just got out of a relationship.
00:43:51 Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:43:57 [Motor vibrates]
00:43:59 WOMAN:
00:44:01 Whew. Yeah,
00:44:03 Best two seconds of my life.
00:44:09 Thank you, girls.
00:44:13 Ooh! Whoo!
00:44:16 Two hundred bucks
00:44:18 Terrific.
00:44:19 That means it cost $100 a second.
00:44:22 Yeah, just kidding.
00:44:25 - What? I heard you.
00:44:27 Every time I looked
00:44:31 Hey, Danny, do you
00:44:34 that somebody's
00:44:38 Yeah. I do.
00:44:42 [Motor vibrates]
00:44:44 Round 2, buddy.
00:44:46 Whoo!
00:45:01 [Burglar alarm siren wails]
00:45:03 [Dogs barking]
00:45:10 [Siren continues]
00:45:18 [Click, silence]
00:46:07 [Television stations changing]
00:46:13 I'm not leaving.
00:46:15 I'm staying right here in my house.
00:46:18 You want to leave and go stay
00:46:22 I'm sure he'd love to have his
00:46:49 Mature. Real mature.
00:46:52 I'm not leaving.
00:46:53 ANGELA: Great. I'm sure my mom
00:46:55 when she comes over.
00:46:56 - Your mom is coming?
00:46:59 [Door slams]
00:47:03 Hi, Mom!
00:47:05 Don't you "hey, Mom" me!
00:47:08 Oh, mm, mm, mm.
00:47:10 Oh, my gosh.
00:47:12 Oh, my baby, baby girl.
00:47:13 Yeah, a week ago I didn't know
00:47:16 Oh, baby, look at that belly.
00:47:18 I remember when you were in me!
00:47:20 - Gross!
00:47:23 Ooh! Feels like a boy.
00:47:25 It is too soon.
00:47:28 Angela, I know.
00:47:31 So, where's Curtis?
00:47:36 Tea.
00:47:38 It can't be that bad.
00:47:40 Mom, how did you know
00:47:48 Was what, dear?
00:47:50 Was cheating on you?
00:47:54 That son of a bitch.
00:47:57 With the baby coming.
00:47:59 He's not here. Just calm down, okay?
00:48:01 I just want to make sure
00:48:03 [Chuckles]
00:48:06 It was little things.
00:48:09 All of a sudden he was
00:48:11 he was preoccupied with work.
00:48:13 He... Well, you know,
00:48:18 Sex?
00:48:19 Mmm...
00:48:24 I didn't know for sure
00:48:27 Remember that room?
00:48:28 And I looked at the phone bill.
00:48:30 You don't call Suzie Edelstein
00:48:33 because of her
00:48:36 Ugh.
00:48:39 God, I hated him
00:48:44 It's in the past.
00:48:47 Honey, do you really think Curtis is?
00:48:52 Yeah. I do.
00:48:58 [Inhales deeply]
00:49:00 I don't know what I did wrong.
00:49:01 I know I work hard,
00:49:04 I blow him, like,
00:49:06 Okay. All right.
00:49:14 I think I have to leave him.
00:49:19 That's a big decision, honey.
00:49:23 Well, I promised myself that I would
00:49:26 and that's what I'm doing.
00:49:29 Well, then, I'll tell you what to do.
00:49:32 Stand your ground and make Curtis
00:49:36 By the time you're done with him,
00:49:40 Did you try that with Dad?
00:49:43 No.
00:49:45 But Curtis isn't your father,
00:49:50 Try to keep this family
00:49:53 before it even has a chance to start.
00:49:56 Tough love!
00:49:59 - Tough love?
00:50:01 You're gonna want to fold.
00:50:02 You're gonna want to say
00:50:05 Don't.
00:50:06 The second you do,
00:50:07 it's a license for her to gobble other
00:50:12 No matter how long.
00:50:14 Even if it takes a year.
00:50:15 A year?
00:50:18 He'll fold long before then, honey.
00:50:20 He's not the manly type.
00:50:22 Not manly?
00:50:23 Hey, you're a quarter queer.
00:50:27 But this is your opportunity
00:50:30 This is ridiculous.
00:50:32 who just paid $200
00:50:35 You want to get Angela back or not?
00:50:37 Then do not talk to him.
00:50:40 He's the father of my child!
00:50:42 I know.
00:50:43 That's the only thing that's keeping
00:50:59 [Screams]
00:51:19 For this agreement
00:51:21 it must be based
00:51:23 of each party's financial status
00:51:27 [Scoffs]
00:51:28 ...of the other...
00:51:32 Mr. Jenkins, I am so sorry.
00:51:42 [Sighs]
00:52:14 [Exhales]
00:52:31 See you, guys, in a little while,
00:52:33 - I love you, too.
00:52:36 Hey! Give me some love!
00:52:37 Daddy!
00:52:39 DANNY:
00:52:40 Aw!
00:53:03 TEACHER: All right, ladies.
00:53:09 Very nice.
00:53:12 They're right there.
00:53:17 [Mimics breathing]
00:53:20 Hi, baby!
00:53:29 DOCTOR:
00:54:37 MR. ROHE:
00:54:38 - It's good to see you.
00:54:42 Oh, she doesn't speak English.
00:54:43 She's Russian.
00:54:45 Mail-order.
00:54:46 You bring them over
00:54:48 and they fuck
00:54:50 because it does.
00:54:52 Um, don't you, uh...
00:54:57 Oh, no, no.
00:54:57 All you have to do is say
00:55:01 Uh, Mr. Rohe,
00:55:03 - What can I do for you?
00:55:05 What do they say about you?
00:55:08 Well, I need you, buddy.
00:55:11 Okay. Uh... I've already
00:55:18 The fucking money pit.
00:55:20 Writing that mortgage check
00:55:23 I want a motorcycle
00:55:27 I want out of this.
00:55:28 - What about your wife?
00:55:31 - What about your kids?
00:55:34 I don't think it works that way,
00:55:37 I see you've been to another lawyer.
00:55:40 I admit it, I was trying
00:55:43 but those guys all turned me down
00:55:46 Can you believe that shit,
00:55:48 That's when I knew if you want
00:55:51 You.
00:55:52 So, what do you say?
00:55:55 [Glass spills]
00:55:56 Oops. I "breaked" the "vater."
00:56:11 Now, remember,
00:56:12 don't start the video conference
00:56:14 Mm-hmm.
00:56:18 Kind of.
00:56:19 She might actually understand
00:56:24 Mm-unh.
00:56:26 I'm not losing my job
00:56:28 didn't know what to do
00:56:29 Listen, you just
00:56:31 like she's some kind of supervillain.
00:56:35 You were saying?
00:56:39 Hi, Mary!
00:56:40 How's Japan treating you?
00:56:41 Okay, well, you can
00:56:43 Am I crazy, or is it just the camera,
00:56:50 It's, um...
00:56:54 It's glandular?
00:56:55 All right.
00:56:58 You didn't get the graphs
00:57:00 [Cell phone rings]
00:57:02 [Giggles]
00:57:06 Raphy! Raphy! Uh...
00:57:11 Hmm.
00:57:14 These rolly chairs are so fun.
00:57:20 Because my back is really...
00:57:25 Doo-dee-doo-doo!
00:57:29 Angela...
00:57:30 Yes.
00:57:31 I think I know what's going on.
00:57:34 You do?
00:57:35 Yes. I think I do, and it is okay.
00:57:39 It is?
00:57:40 Yes, it is.
00:57:42 Believe it or not,
00:57:47 There was a night back in '89
00:57:52 I could have choked an antelope.
00:57:55 I overcame it, and so can you.
00:57:59 You think I'm on drugs?
00:58:00 Nothing to be ashamed of.
00:58:02 The first step is to stand up
00:58:08 Mary, I'm sorry.
00:58:12 I'm...
00:58:14 I'm pregnant.
00:58:16 Unh-unh, Vice-President.
00:58:23 Why don't you just tell your boss
00:58:26 - Because she'll fire me.
00:58:28 Then Curtis can sue them
00:58:30 He might be an asshole,
00:58:34 How do I look?
00:58:40 Do you want the real answer
00:58:43 Um... Girlfriend first
00:58:47 You look beautiful.
00:58:49 You can't, can't even tell
00:58:53 Okay. Now real.
00:58:55 You look like a fat candy cane.
00:58:58 Shit.
00:59:01 Oh!
00:59:06 I give up.
00:59:07 Nothing fits.
00:59:13 Jesus!
00:59:14 You know, I can't hide it
00:59:17 She's gonna know.
00:59:18 - Ow!
00:59:20 You're pulling my hair.
00:59:22 Ugh!
00:59:24 What does Curtis say?
00:59:26 He hasn't said a word to me.
00:59:29 [Sobbing]
00:59:30 And he probably never will.
00:59:32 Fucking hormones, I tell ya.
00:59:34 Is everything all right?
00:59:35 Yeah. She's pregnant,
00:59:44 You know what?
00:59:46 I think you need to step it up.
01:00:02 Oh, Curtis!
01:00:06 Can I ask you a question?
01:00:07 Yes, I do believe
01:00:09 and three scoops of mint chocolate
01:00:12 Are you through
01:00:14 No.
01:00:16 Okay. Now I'm through.
01:00:20 Do you think that I look fat
01:00:26 I think you look terrific, Angela.
01:00:29 Better than ever.
01:00:31 [Sighs]
01:00:35 You actually look
01:00:37 [Car horn honks]
01:00:39 A date!
01:00:41 Oh.
01:00:42 I got to go.
01:00:46 I have...
01:00:48 I have... I have friends, too.
01:00:59 Doctor Bob?
01:01:00 Oh, come on!
01:01:05 [Engine revs]
01:01:06 Okay. Fine.
01:01:13 Are you sure you're all right
01:01:16 Oh, I don't mind.
01:01:17 You'd be surprised.
01:01:18 It's a common fight
01:01:21 Over wine?
01:01:22 Mm-hmm.
01:01:23 Well, the husband keeps drinking it.
01:01:25 She takes it as a sign
01:01:28 Sparks ensue.
01:01:31 Well, that's dumb.
01:01:33 Yeah.
01:01:34 And I could never see you getting
01:01:42 Angela, I'm here for you.
01:01:46 You love each other.
01:01:54 You're right. I just...
01:01:57 Tomorrow I'm gonna sit down, and
01:02:04 What?
01:02:05 Oh, hell!
01:02:10 Oh, bastard!
01:02:13 - Who are those people?
01:02:17 He's trying to make me jealous.
01:02:19 - She's fat!
01:02:23 Isn't that what we're doing?
01:02:25 We are now!
01:02:27 [Exaggerated laughter]
01:02:31 You're so funny!
01:02:34 On three, laugh.
01:02:41 Come here.
01:02:50 Well, it took you long enough.
01:02:52 I'll tell you a secret.
01:02:53 I thought you might
01:02:55 so I shaved it into a "C,"
01:03:00 For "Curtis."
01:03:02 Okay, why don't we stop talking?
01:03:14 Come on, Angie.
01:03:20 Hey! Hey!
01:03:22 Stop her!
01:03:23 Yeah. Come on.
01:03:25 CURTIS:
01:03:25 Hey!
01:03:27 Right here. Right here.
01:03:29 Oh, yeah.
01:03:35 Just what's going on here?
01:03:36 If you don't like it, Dr. Bob,
01:03:39 Morris?!
01:03:39 Morris?
01:03:40 My husband!
01:03:44 - That's my bitch, bitch!
01:03:47 As a heart attack!
01:03:49 Oh!
01:03:51 Curtis!
01:03:54 Morris!
01:03:56 Oh, sweetie, honey, baby pie!
01:04:01 [Laughs]
01:04:02 Thanks, Morris!
01:04:04 Ah!
01:04:05 [Chuckles]
01:04:13 That's gonna hurt more tomorrow.
01:04:15 That's good to know.
01:04:18 You can have the bed if you want,
01:04:20 Dr. Bob's?
01:04:25 Curtis.
01:04:28 How long have you been seeing her?
01:04:31 Again?
01:04:32 You keep turning this around on me.
01:04:35 Don't I get a coma reprieve?
01:04:37 Why don't you just go see your
01:04:46 Okay. You win.
01:05:04 Did you step it up?
01:05:06 Is he eating out
01:05:11 Honey, I'm sorry.
01:05:15 Come on.
01:05:38 Raphy! Raphy, Raphy!
01:05:42 Uh, who? Angela?
01:05:43 Oh, I don't know.
01:05:46 I thought she was in her office,
01:05:48 then I don't really know, Mary.
01:05:51 Oh, there she is!
01:05:52 Angela, I really, I really, really
01:05:55 The Japanese love us.
01:05:56 The head of Nakashima Distribution
01:06:00 And I want you to present it to him
01:06:03 I thought you already did that.
01:06:05 Angela, I'm thinking
01:06:06 a little less time
01:06:09 and start focusing on your work.
01:06:11 Where's my coffee?
01:06:13 That's his secondary team.
01:06:14 Mr. Nakashima never goes
01:06:19 Oh, no. He just flies halfway
01:06:24 He's on his way to Hawaii
01:06:28 and he is blessing us
01:06:32 Now, have you taken care
01:06:36 'Cause I've got to tell you something,
01:06:37 the Japanese, they're not
01:06:41 Uh, don't worry. I'll lose 20 pounds
01:06:44 Today, 4:00...
01:06:46 ...wow time.
01:06:50 Well, that was some fancy footwork
01:06:55 What?
01:07:04 Hello, asshole.
01:07:05 Is Asshole Number Two here?
01:07:08 He's in his room.
01:07:10 What are you?
01:07:13 How's Angela doing?
01:07:15 She's just fine.
01:07:17 Good.
01:07:19 You look like shit.
01:07:21 I feel worse.
01:07:23 Well, that's a start.
01:07:26 Curtis, why did you
01:07:27 the best thing in your life?
01:07:33 I didn't know I did
01:07:37 Guess nothing I did
01:07:39 Oh, what you did
01:07:40 It worked. She's gone.
01:07:43 You just cannot take responsibility,
01:07:45 You're just boys.
01:07:49 Can't beat 'em, join 'em.
01:07:52 What does that mean?
01:07:59 [Ballgame plays on television]
01:08:19 [Television turns off]
01:08:24 [Screams]
01:08:26 What the fuck is that?
01:08:29 Nothing. You scared me.
01:08:32 Oh, you're making it official now.
01:08:34 It's been months. We either
01:08:47 You look good.
01:08:49 Stop fucking around.
01:08:51 I'm not fucking around.
01:08:54 I didn't lose a single pound.
01:08:56 Well, you look pretty.
01:09:04 Where's Curtis?
01:09:05 He said something about
01:09:11 He said that?
01:09:13 Yeah. Something like that.
01:09:15 [Telephone ringing]
01:09:16 What's wrong?
01:09:18 Hey! Voicemail.
01:09:21 - Where are we going?
01:09:23 - Where are we going?
01:09:24 Where are you taking me?
01:09:25 - Just look.
01:09:27 In a whorehouse.
01:09:33 [Tone chimes]
01:09:36 Okay, let's get started.
01:09:38 Mr. Nakashima and company,
01:09:41 on behalf of my staff and colleagues,
01:09:44 we are more than happy to welcome
01:09:54 Ahh! Ahh!
01:09:57 You okay?
01:09:58 [Labored breathing]
01:09:59 Is it the...?
01:10:01 Oh! Jesus! Okay, uh,
01:10:04 Now, Mr. Nakashima, I'm sure
01:10:07 we've been working
01:10:13 Raphy, in the last nine months,
01:10:16 I've lost my husband,
01:10:21 I'm not losing this project.
01:10:24 Extremely special
01:10:27 to new heights.
01:10:28 RAPHY: Angela!
01:10:31 I can do it.
01:10:32 MARY: to introduce you
01:10:36 ...Angela Marks.
01:10:38 [Applause]
01:10:49 Don't forget, this is your baby.
01:10:55 First of all, I would like
01:10:59 And secondly, I would like
01:11:02 and my valued colleague, Raphy,
01:11:20 Excuse me.
01:11:21 I would like to introduce you
01:11:25 in women's fragrances:
01:11:28 Baby on Board.
01:11:45 Wow!
01:11:47 A real Korean hand-job joint.
01:11:49 You really know
01:11:52 RECEPTIONIST:
01:11:53 - Oh, is so good to see you again!
01:11:55 Why I not see you in so long?
01:11:58 Oh, you have pee-pee disease, mm?
01:12:01 - Oh, you need more Niagara, huh?
01:12:03 Mr. Danny, you don't go...
01:12:06 [Speaking foreign language]
01:12:10 I know exactly how you feel.
01:12:15 MAN #1: Oh, oh, oh.
01:12:20 Ah, ah, ah.
01:12:27 - Huh?
01:12:32 MAN #2: Ah, I think I'm in love.
01:12:35 Hey, Maureen!
01:12:39 Dude.
01:12:40 Sorry.
01:12:42 Easy.
01:12:48 - Candy?
01:12:51 Curtis?!
01:12:52 No, no, no, no, no!
01:12:54 Don't roll over, whatever you do.
01:12:56 If you roll over right now,
01:12:59 and that's gonna be the biggest
01:13:02 Curtis, I know I talked a mean game.
01:13:05 Half the stains on this ceiling
01:13:07 A hand-job's just like jerking off.
01:13:12 Truthfully, I give myself
01:13:15 But, look, forget about that.
01:13:16 I know I said the only honest
01:13:20 is with somebody
01:13:22 But that's not true.
01:13:24 Man, your wife's a real pain
01:13:27 But, fuck, dude, she knows you
01:13:29 and she still puts up with you.
01:13:31 And that, that's the most
01:13:33 you're ever gonna have in your life.
01:13:35 And I know
01:13:37 but I'm talking to you
01:13:40 Don't blow that load!
01:13:44 My God. You are so right.
01:13:50 Thank you, mysterious stranger.
01:14:25 Okay, thank you.
01:14:28 That was beautiful, man.
01:14:32 Just thank you.
01:14:34 Beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful.
01:14:37 [Cheering]
01:14:48 [Screams]
01:14:49 [Men laugh]
01:14:51 [Cheers]
01:14:56 Did you mean all that?
01:14:57 - Yeah, but...
01:14:59 It didn't help Curt.
01:15:01 CURTIS: Danny.
01:15:03 Curt?
01:15:04 Danny. That was a real
01:15:09 Am I too late?
01:15:10 No, no. I chickened out.
01:15:12 I've been hiding out
01:15:14 Thank God you're a quarter queer.
01:15:18 - I'm such an idiot.
01:15:20 I really screwed things up.
01:15:22 Me too.
01:15:25 I need to fix this.
01:15:27 You bet your ass
01:15:29 I need to fix everything.
01:15:34 I'm sorry.
01:15:38 Hey, sorry.
01:15:41 As you can see, the 4th Quarter
01:15:45 are 14% higher
01:15:49 As we move
01:15:56 [Breathes heavily]
01:16:20 And now, as we move
01:16:26 [Tires screech]
01:16:28 DANNY: Go get her!
01:16:30 Angela!
01:16:31 Curtis, she locked me
01:16:33 I want my magazines,
01:16:35 and I want you out of here now!
01:16:39 Oh, this is good.
01:16:41 Listen, just talk to her
01:16:42 and say some of that fancy lawyer
01:16:45 and make her leave, will you?
01:16:47 Bill, put her on the phone.
01:16:49 Oh, my lawyer
01:16:53 Oh, really?
01:16:57 Here you are.
01:17:00 MS. BLACK: The house?!
01:17:03 - How do you sleep at night?
01:17:06 This is a crock of shit!
01:17:07 MR. ROHE: Agh!
01:17:10 The law protects assholes like him
01:17:14 - Ms. Black, you are right.
01:17:16 Tell your lawyer if he's looking
01:17:19 to look into
01:17:20 for any monies
01:17:22 into banks based in Russia.
01:17:24 He cannot touch the house.
01:17:28 Why are you telling me this?
01:17:31 Today is your lucky day.
01:17:40 Damn, Counselor, you are fast.
01:17:42 My brother, what's up?
01:17:45 - What the hell?
01:17:53 Wait.
01:17:55 MR. ROHE:
01:17:57 Oh, Curtis.
01:18:00 I am gonna hit you
01:18:04 You want to try?
01:18:05 You'll be spending the rest of your
01:18:08 balancing requests for
01:18:11 I will depose every person
01:18:14 since the beginning of time!
01:18:16 [Cell phone disconnects]
01:18:22 Wow! You've got a great lawyer.
01:18:26 There's none better.
01:18:31 [Tires screech]
01:18:35 Medical Emergency!
01:18:39 Let's go.
01:18:44 And, uh... And, uh...
01:18:48 Just keep it together.
01:18:52 Uh, let me open up
01:18:55 Angela! Angela!
01:18:57 - Yah!
01:18:59 Curtis!
01:19:03 Angela, take me back.
01:19:05 Oh, Jesus Christ!
01:19:07 I was a moron.
01:19:09 I don't care.
01:19:11 I don't care if that baby isn't mine.
01:19:12 I don't care if you had relations
01:19:15 I don't care about any of that.
01:19:16 I only care about you.
01:19:19 Oh! Oh!
01:19:21 Is that a good scream
01:19:23 What are you trying to say?
01:19:25 I'm having a baby!
01:19:27 You're pregnant?
01:19:29 Of course she's pregnant!
01:19:30 You're pregnant?!
01:19:32 ANGELA: Oh!
01:19:33 Come on. Come on.
01:19:37 She told me
01:19:40 Angela.
01:19:41 You!
01:19:42 CURTIS: She's mine, Dr. Bob.
01:19:43 If you want her, you're gonna
01:19:44 This is like Days of our Lives!
01:19:47 DOCTOR: Curtis, I know
01:19:49 No. I was stupid to ever let her go.
01:19:50 You can't have her!
01:19:51 I don't want her!
01:19:52 What?
01:19:53 She's always been yours.
01:19:55 Well, then, what are you doing here?
01:19:56 Hey, hey! I called him. I'm sorry.
01:19:58 - Hi, baby.
01:20:02 I know. I think
01:20:05 So, you two are a couple?
01:20:07 RAPHY: Oh, let's go.
01:20:09 RAPHY: Baby, baby, baby.
01:20:11 Fuckin' douchebag doctor...
01:20:15 Is it time?
01:20:16 Can't leave! Have to finish!
01:20:19 - We need to get you out of here.
01:20:23 Angela!
01:20:28 [Laughter]
01:20:30 Take that back.
01:20:33 Ooh.
01:20:34 Excuse me?
01:20:36 I said, "Take that back."
01:20:39 That woman has been talking to you
01:20:44 You want to talk about tough?
01:20:48 I don't care about your money.
01:20:49 I don't care
01:20:51 I don't care about your snarky jokes.
01:20:56 Domo arigato.
01:21:06 Okay, just breathe.
01:21:10 Ah, your jacket.
01:21:11 What? What?
01:21:15 The whore with the lipstick!
01:21:19 Hold her!
01:21:21 What? What?
01:21:25 The business card!
01:21:29 Oh, her! Her!
01:21:30 Oh, no, no, no.
01:21:32 She was a relaxation therapist.
01:21:34 That's right.
01:21:35 You slept with her!
01:21:39 No, no, no. I didn't sleep with her.
01:21:41 - You bastard!
01:21:44 It was a fuckin' hand-job, and it
01:21:48 Oh, I love you, baby!
01:21:52 Oh, Curtis!
01:21:54 Here we go.
01:21:56 Okay.
01:21:58 I'll drive.
01:22:06 [Tires screech]
01:22:10 [Glass crashes]
01:22:23 I hate you!
01:22:25 I'll grab a wheelchair.
01:22:27 Yeah. We're all good.
01:22:28 Just hurry, Doctor! Hurry!
01:22:31 Do your breathing. That's it.
01:22:32 Who was that bitch
01:22:34 What bitch at the restaurant?
01:22:37 Ah!
01:22:40 What'd I miss?
01:22:42 The bitch that you kissed
01:22:45 Wow, good timing for me.
01:22:46 She's a client.
01:22:48 She's married?
01:22:49 CURTIS: Ow!
01:22:51 Ow! Ow!
01:22:54 DOCTOR BOB: Tourette's.
01:22:56 She's getting a divorce.
01:22:58 She kissed me when I told her
01:22:59 of a way she could
01:23:01 and screw her husband
01:23:02 We have to split up now.
01:23:06 Can I go with her?
01:23:07 Curtis, a nurse will come
01:23:09 Just let me get her hooked up first.
01:23:11 Are you sure
01:23:13 It meant nothing.
01:23:14 It meant as much to me as your kiss
01:23:18 Thanks a lot.
01:23:19 Really?
01:23:21 Really.
01:23:23 Okay.
01:23:25 I can have this baby now.
01:23:30 I'll be right in.
01:23:38 [Television news
01:23:53 You know, I knew
01:23:59 Thank you, Mom.
01:24:01 But just for the record,
01:24:03 if you did...
01:24:05 Jesus Almighty himself couldn't
01:24:09 NEWS ANNOUNCER: And finally,
01:24:11 the Viking Pharmaceutical Company,
01:24:16 announced today a total recall of
01:24:20 when it was discovered
01:24:23 causes leakage.
01:24:24 The company announced
01:24:27 whose sex partners
01:24:29 may return the unused portion
01:24:33 Talk about a class-action suit.
01:24:37 Super Vikings?
01:24:42 NURSE: Mr. Marks?
01:24:50 [Screams]
01:24:53 Good, Angie!
01:24:56 I'm right here, Angela.
01:24:59 She is doing fine.
01:25:00 Okay, push, Angela.
01:25:03 Just remember your breathing.
01:25:06 How do you know what to do?
01:25:09 I went to all your Lamaze classes.
01:25:11 I wouldn't have
01:25:12 Now, push, Angela.
01:25:13 Push.
01:25:13 [Grunts, screams]
01:25:15 Here he comes.
01:25:17 He...?
01:25:19 CURTIS: Push, Angela.
01:25:21 DOCTOR: Here he comes!
01:25:27 [Baby cries]
01:25:28 Hey.
01:25:29 DOCTOR: Welcome
01:25:32 He's perfect!
01:25:41 Nice going, Mom.
01:25:45 Here we go. Here we go.
01:25:54 [Baby coos]
01:25:57 Hey, baby.
01:25:59 I'm your daddy.
01:26:09 Oh, baby. Hi.
01:26:16 You're so beautiful.
01:26:19 Hi!
01:26:21 I hope I'm late.
01:26:23 Oh, what is it?
01:26:25 It's a boy.
01:26:26 Hello, little Mr. Marks.
01:26:30 Hey, wait till you
01:26:32 You're gonna love 'em.
01:26:35 Nice work, Bobby.
01:26:36 Thanks.
01:26:38 Where's my grandson?
01:26:41 Let me see him.
01:26:43 Oh! Hi, sweetie!
01:26:45 Hi.
01:26:46 Hello!
01:26:48 He's so handsome.
01:26:53 Look at you!
01:26:57 Oh, my God!
01:27:00 Hello!
01:27:02 Oh, hello, sweet baby.
01:27:04 [Baby grunts]
01:27:06 Oh, I forgot how cute they are
01:27:11 Curtis, he has your ears.
01:27:19 Mary, those are beautiful flowers.
01:27:21 Please. I expensed it
01:27:24 [Chuckles]
01:27:27 Well, um...
01:27:28 ...I'm gonna go.
01:27:30 Hospitals aren't really my thing,
01:27:32 but, um, I did want to say,
01:27:36 Your job will be waiting for you
01:27:39 Are you sure?
01:27:40 Never ask a woman if she's
01:27:44 Oh, my God.
01:27:48 Thank you, Mary.
01:27:50 [Baby coos]
01:27:56 Wow.
01:27:59 DOCTOR: Okay, everyone.
01:28:01 What say we give the family
01:28:04 SYLVIE: Love you.
01:28:07 Hey!
01:28:11 Bye, sweetie.
01:28:13 - Congratulations.
01:28:19 Just the immediate family
01:28:22 I am immediate.
01:28:25 DOCTOR: And what
01:28:28 You can come back in a little while.
01:28:33 [Smooches]
01:28:38 Ta-dah!
01:28:42 There are gonna be pregnant women
01:28:48 Thank you for everything.
01:28:50 Mm-hmm.
01:29:05 - He's so perfect.
01:29:08 [Baby coos]
01:29:17 Hi.
01:29:22 He's tired.
01:29:24 It's been a long nine months.
01:29:26 I know how he feels.
01:29:31 I love you.
01:29:32 I love you, too.
01:29:37 [Fart]
01:29:44 Was that you?
01:29:45 I thought that was you.
01:29:49 What have
01:29:52 Aw...
01:29:55 He's got your intestinal tract.
01:30:26 CURTIS: Oh, my God.
01:30:28 MAN: Come on!
01:30:31 OFF-SCREEN VOICE:
01:30:48 OFF-SCREEN VOICE:
01:30:49 Don't move, don't move, don't move.
01:30:50 [Off-screen laughter]
01:31:00 Look at that. Look at that.
01:31:03 Oh, look at that.
01:31:04 Oh, look at that!
01:31:07 You get that butt up in the air,
01:31:11 your balls will be ricocheting
01:31:13 like Hector "Macho" Camacho
01:31:16 da-da-duh, da-da-duh,
01:31:19 [Laughs]
01:31:20 I really need you
01:31:22 The Japanese love us.
01:31:24 The head of whatever the fuck it is,
01:31:27 what is it?
01:31:28 The head
01:31:31 [Laughs]
01:31:32 Go fuck yourselves.
01:31:34 Are you taking care of your
01:31:38 Your "glandurer,"
01:31:41 [Off-screen laughter]
01:31:42 Are you taking care
01:31:46 [Both laugh]
01:31:49 How's that "glandurer" problem going?
01:31:53 'Cause I got to tell you, the Japanese
01:31:58 [Laughter]
01:32:00 OFF-SCREEN VOICE: Take a bite
01:32:02 Yeah. Look at me, now.
01:32:05 Dive in. Aargh!
01:32:09 You're gonna be here one day.
01:32:15 [Continuous laughter on set]
01:32:25 Did you ever do that?
01:32:26 No. It was just...
01:32:28 OFF-SCREEN VOICE:
01:32:29 You don't have to lick my ass.
01:32:32 [Off-screen laughter]
01:32:39 DANNY: It's better
01:32:42 This is Curtis, girls.
01:32:44 I'm paying you per hip thrust,
01:32:46 You know what? I'm so sorry.
01:32:47 DANNY: Oh, you did?
01:32:48 You have a great vagina.
01:32:50 I think any man would be lucky
01:32:54 But my boobs. They're just...
01:32:56 [Both laugh]
01:32:59 [Laughs]
01:33:00 You need wow by June?
01:33:05 Hello.
01:33:07 Hello?
01:33:08 [Laughter]
01:33:09 DANNY: Mmm.
01:33:11 Oh, look at that pussy.
01:33:14 OFF-SCREEN VOICE:
01:33:17 That was directing.
01:33:18 DANNY: Don't be a putz.
01:33:20 [Crow cawing]
01:33:22 [Mimics crow cawing]
01:33:25 [Both laugh]
01:33:27 First of all,
01:33:29 I mean, to America.
01:33:32 On behalf
01:33:34 I would more...
01:33:37 See, now, she put the jinx on it.
01:33:39 CURTIS: I need to fix everything.
01:33:44 - I'm sorry.
01:33:47 Guys, can I get a ride?
01:33:49 No.
01:33:52 Oh!
01:33:53 You broke the first rule of improv!
01:33:55 You really think it's possible
01:33:57 over there right now?
01:33:58 Yeah. I would if I was her.
01:34:00 After I spent an hour
01:34:02 [Smooches]
01:34:11 OFF-SCREEN VOICE: Cut!
01:34:12 [Laughter on set]
01:34:13 Took classes on the...
01:34:15 Oh, you like that?
01:34:17 No!
01:34:18 [Growls]
01:34:19 What are you...?
01:34:21 [Laughter on set]
01:34:33 [Laughter on set]
01:34:36 Subtitles by LeapinLar